#this made me feel insane btw
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Huzzah! It's birthday time! I'm slowly accumulating more and more things I like (latest additions this vest I made and a travel typewriter! Still need to fix the latter one though)
Sure has been a year.
#terri#niart#got my wisdom toofies out#well 2 out of 4#still got stitches#idk if this removal lowkey fixed my fear of the dentist?#it was so easy and painless#also finally i'm on anxiety meds jkahsdjash#i also got depression meds but i haven't tested them yet#I'm going to see the love of my life soon again!!!#only 2 more months to go....#i've also finally found awesome friends who don't make me feel like i'm insane for wanting to be cared for#the difference is like night and day#old friends saying hey let's surprise another friend of ours oh also i think it's your birthday on that day#new friends reminding me to pick a brunch place for us to go on my special day#i am sobbing#the right people are out there#don't lose hope#i've never felt this platonically loved honestly#also yes i'm working on the next dragon's lair aksjdhasjkd#just#a lot of things happening and i'm sooo burnt out#this piece was such a strain and i just#don't have patience for art rn#this is photobashed btw there's an actual photo of my typewriter under all those layers#i'm not about to spend 300 hours just to draw a typewriter from this angle kajshdjkasdh#ALSO ONE MORE THING CAN I JUST GUSH ABOUT THE ANASTASIA BROADWAY OKAY?!?!?!#I didn't realise until now that they made it way more historically inspired and i mean bruh BRUH#i have been having a recording of it playing on the background nonstop for like 3 days now#Vladimir Popov I want to inject you straight into my veins holy shit he is a perfect man
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PEAK PEAK PEAK PEAK
#this song has been so strongly life series coded to me for so long that it actually feels like a jumpscare seeing it in an actual animatic#anyway. i love this. same person who made the w.i.t.c.h animatic btw which got more views than pearlās finale episode which is crazy to me#moonrot crumbs at the end insane insane insane isnaisneinaes
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You're a Yakuza fan too?
HAH Elliott as Majima, PLEASE š¤£ @writer-by-the-sea
girl what is his ass doing in kamurocho ..
#INSANE ASK btw#BUT YES I DO LOVE YAKUZAAA YUM YUM YUMMYYYYYY#this made me realize I never considered elliotts body type#i imagine him as strong in a soft way .. like a lot of round muscle .. but since itās majima i had to make him a little ripped š#and i had to squeeze kiryu in there r u kidding#rgg#yakuza#sdv#stardew valley#sdv elliott#kiryu kazuma#i feel like elliott could eat up majimaās y0 look. why didnāt i think of that until now .
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Scratch is Lillith Evidence
I've kind of accepted this as canon but I havent really seen anyone compile all the evidences so uh here for anyone curious
Kayne first references her in Part 20 which does reveal that Lillith exists in Malevolent:
In part 37, when John, Arthur and Oscar are exploring the barn, John sees a painting of a woman with pale skin and dark hair and seems to go into a kind of trance when he looks at her (which. Gestures. Lillith. Gestures. Succubus-y powers. Gestures)
Later when they open the gateway in Part 38, Scratch merges with a woman who looks exactly like the one in the painting and she's described as having "alabaster skin", aka world's most highly specific descriptor, which also happens to the same description used in the Lillith entry in the Malleus Monstorum for CoC seventh edition (BIG THANKS TO @/unsafewaters for sending the images to me)
And then in Intermezzo, Kayne directly mentions having a daughter and claims that she would "love" Arthur which could tie back to him being Her Favourite. Also I don't like using evidence that isn't in the source material but in the post season 4 QnA, when Harlan's reading out the notes he wrote for Intermezzo, one of the things he reads out is the daughter line, which implies it was important enough to mention (and wasn't just a throwaway joke)
And last but not least, Yorick mentions that Scratch/Owlexander/the entity watching them is close in power to Kayne which would make sense if he created her
Also earlier in the episode, Yorick implied Scratch may be working against Kayne specifically which does imply they have a pre existing relationship which would make sense if she was Lillith:
Extra evidence: In the fake Edward Willaim Allan's journal, he has an entry where talks about how, despite the fact he distrusts his "dream dweller" (who we know is Scratch pre fracturing), something about them still fills him with awe and he feels oddly seduces by them:
Which is likely Lillith using her powers to influence him and make him easier to manipulate (since it's heavily implied, if not basically explicitly stated, she was using him to open a gateway for her to enter the world)
Also! Semi unrelated but while I have your attention and talking about theories! I just wanna highlight a minor theory of mine that there's a high chance Kayne trapped Lillith in some kind of pocket dimension or prison of sorts because the prison line (from the second to last screenshot in this post) feels like foreshadowing and I find it odd that if she supposedly is close to him in power, she would need a humans help to travel through worlds (Also, she's framed as getting "freed" in part 38 when they do eventually open the gateway which leads to the question: free from what?) so that's something to consider
#TELL ME IF I MISSED ANYTHING GEN. I WILL ADD IT#lillith malevolent#lilith malevolent#malevolent#malevolent podcast#scratch malevolent#spoilers#????#BTW PROPS TO ME FOR SUCCESSFULLY HOLDING BACK THE URGE TO DERAIL THE WHOLE POST TO MAKE IY ABOUT PIPE DREAM š#<- every time i remember fake Edward Willaim Allan ks like. a real malevolent character (who canonically is implied to have been sedcued by#lillith) and not my little self indulgent guy who i made up and added to malevolent lore. i feel insane#<- I MEAN? I DO LIKE. MAKE SOME SHIT UP ABOUT HIM BUT LIKE?? I GET SURPRISED WJEN I REMEMBER OH SHIT. THEY JUST. CANONICALLY HAD A#RELATIONSHIP OF SORTS??? LIKE? SURE WE DONT KNOW IF IT WAS PLATONIC. PURELY TRANSACTIONAL . SEXUSL OR ROMANTIC. BUT THEY LIKE. CANONICALLY#HAD A SEMI RELEVANT DYNAMIC AND RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE IT LITERALLY LED TO HER GETTING FRACTURED. like wow thats canon i didng make that up#wdym my rarepair has plot relevance and is supported by the text (so far). i feel insane. OKAY ANYWAYS. WAY TO DERAIL THE POST IN MY TAGS š#txt#malevolent theory#<- forgot that one oops
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finally coming out as a dyke in 2023 is realizing i dont need to pretend to simp that Guy just because everyone else in my friend group does
#finally coming out as a dyke in 2023 is realizing i can be insane abt women the same way my friends are insane abt men#life changing#mochats#im sorry to my friends who think me simping that guy was genuine#i was just trying to fit in#its a good time to admit that 90% of the time i also dont care abt male characters same way how-#-some straight women dont care abt female characters#i refuse to waste my power on a guy everyone else cares about#im tired enough and i have assignments to do#if i become an outcast for only sparing my energy on women then so be it.#i care about my friends and love them gushing abt a Guy but i personally cannot be made to care in a way they do#not just because i think (often neglected) female characters deserve more of my attention but also because-#-my attraction does influence my interest LETS BE FR HERE#growing up is realizing that putting attention on things you dont care about#is exhausting#as fuck#and i kind of hated how i feel like i wasted my youth energy drawing characters idc abt to please others#now im just tired all the time#while wishing i can draw more women more often#so like#dont do that#draw and write what YOU want#btw its not that i dont care abt men i just have such low energy lately that if i care for anything else but women ā it may be unfulfilling#live laugh fatigue#every time i see a guy fanart i scroll past life has never felt so good#(unless its by a friend which i will appreciate dearly i love my friends art and how passionate they r)
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me every time i remember the (cut) song biggering from the lorax
#the contrast between the parts of it that share the same lyrics with how bad can i be still makes me feel insane btw#frankly i just can't get over the fact that a song with a tone like /that/ was ever even considered for the lorax. of all movies#still mistifying to me. it's unlike any other cut content from that movie. what version of it could it have been made for
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its october:) so i drew silver enjoying some colorful leaves and chilling<33
also his sweater is based on the sweater i made for my ugly bootleg son yesterday<3
silver getting to enjoy nature and leaves and chilly atumn air is. so importrant to me actually
#silver the hedgehog#my art#i swear to god i got fucking POSSESED by idk the spirit of october or something and made that thing in one sitting. insane.#i didnt think i was even capable of completing a project so quickly.. what the fuck happenend. i am a little terrified of myself now..#its made out of a sock btw. if for some reason anyone would be interested in doing something similiar i could give some advice#god i feel so fucking stupid.#'yeah if anyone wants to make a stupid little sock sweater for a bootleg silver the hedgehog plushie i could give some tips:)'#god. thats so lame. .#anyway that doesnt matter bc IT MAKES ME HAPPY!! his little sweater makes me so fucking happy and proud of myself every time i look at it!!#i havent felt pure joy like this after completing a project in AGES!!!!!!!#i should sew more often...... i always forget how fun and rewarding it is#hm. should i make more outfits for him?? mayhaps a jacket......... we'll see...............
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"I care"
I'll always care.
Context i made for this image (for no reason): This is post show and Suitcase is thinking about the game. The times she was babied. The times her anxiety got the best of her. The times she was hurt. How hopeful she used to be. How everything changed.
How it worked out.
...
Now let's just hope I didn't jinx it and this ages well-
Without lighting/background Ver. Under cut!
#inanimate insanity#ii suitcase#Very much needed to give her eyebags and grey hairs#That shit STRESSED her out#And by shit I mean the show in general#also for the record#This started because I was scrolling through barbie#Was feeling girly pop#And wanted to draw her in a pretty dress.#But then I made the lighting sunset#Reminded me of ep 9#Then...this happened#IM SORRY GIRLY POP#YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE A NICE PICNIC WITH YOUR MALE WIFE#Btw it's like 2:35 am#My sleep schedule is shit-#Xinnimon art
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Priest getou and nun reader or villager reader....(anything other than the word both isnt acceptable...š”š”š” /j) -šŖ
šŖ ANON I SEE YOU AND YOU RAISE A VALID POINT but please considerā¦ā¦ priest!geto and non-believer!reader.
imagine just waltzing into a church one day. almost as if on a whim. you donāt believe in god, you arenāt interested in praying, but youāre exploring this quiant little town, and the church looks pretty from afar, and you figure it could be a nice way to burn time.
you enter the building to find that a sermon is taking place. a priest is speaking to the few rows of people listening. the church is fairly small, but paintings and sculptures and the mellow glow of beautiful cathedral glass give it a sense of mystique that youāre drawn to. you take a seat and listen along, halfheartedly, not praying like the rest, not singing along to the hymnsā¦ you stick out like a sore thumb, but hey, itās not as if anyone is paying attention.
except someone is, and it happens to be the priest that was holding the sermon just a second ago. the same one you spent most of your time oogling once the paintings started to bore you, because heās so pretty for a priest. beautiful long black hair, amber eyes, sharp facial features, pretty hands and fingers ā and the smoothest, silkiest voice youāve heard in your life. like a sun-soaked bundle of lillies.
ā¦ also, his cassock is just a little too tight of a fit to tear your eyes away from.
you stick around a little longer once almost everyone has left, just scrolling on your phone and basking in the quiet, and thatās when he approaches you. he jokingly tells you that itās always obvious when a non-believer enters a place of worship, but heās not mad; heās amused. you end up chatting a bit about your beliefs, heās a lot more chill than you expected, andā¦. well. heās just really, really charming.
so maybe you end up coming back the week after. maybe his smile is a bit like a spiderās web. maybe it becomes a kind of routine to speak to him after his sermons; you still donāt sing along to the hymns or spend any time on prayers, and he still finds it funny. maybe once in a while you end up liking a paragraph from the scripture heās reciting, and heās always more than happy to discuss it with you. but mostly youāre there for him. for your chats, for standing outside and badgering him about his beliefs while he smokes and listens with an amused grin.
rain hits the ground with a steady rhythm, earthy tobacco floods your veins, spiders by the ceiling weave a web of dew, and his presence is just a little more intoxicating than youād deem appropriate.
suguru justā¦ isnāt a very orthodox priest. he doesnāt care for the bible as more than a literary piece, he has his own view of god, his own thoughts on worship. he smokes. he may or may not occasionally manipulate church-goers into donating money so he can invest in another overpriced painting. you ask him if there are any bodies in the basement you should know about, and he answers that any self-respecting priest wouldnāt conduct their blood rituals in the basement of their own church. he knows how to pick locks. he tells you once, very quietly, that he doesnāt believe man was created in godās image. thereās a look in his eyes that you donāt comment on.
heās funny. charming. pleasantly suspicious. your conversations are enjoyable for the both of you, and eventually the edges of his cedar eyes begin to crinkle the slightest bit whenever you walk into his field of vision. sometimes he eyes your lips for a little too long, and a honeyed irony seeps into his grin when you call him out on it. he asks you if youāre tempting him on purpose, and you shrug. whatever exists between the two of you remains unspoken.
one day, he tells you that he believes it was god who sent you to him. you furrow your brows with a protest, a mutter reminding him of your beliefs, how you believe in free will ā how you waltzed into his church out of your own volition. no one elseās.
he only smiles, and flicks the butt of his cigarette. you think he remains unconvinced.
#donāt know if i made it clear enough but he is in fact . a bit slimey#a little ill. a little too good at hiding it. plagued by thoughts that only calm down when heās praying or speaking to you <3#(heās really insane abt you btw i donāt think he knows how to love normally this goes for any sugu but ESPECIALLY priest!sugu)#but yeahhhhh priest!geto is very fleabag coded to me :3 heās a chill priest <3 a cool priest <33#iām imagining reader pointing out a homophobic passage from the bible and him just chuckling#(he isnāt homophobic just very gay and very used to hearing that particular passage)#literally all of this is taken straight out of the outlines for my priest!geto fic btw š one day iāll write it all outā¦ one dayā¦ā¦#ty for giving me an excuse to talk abt him šŖ anonā¦. pls pls feel free to elaborate on nun!reader šš bc i am Looking.#ask tag ā©#šŖ anon !! ā©#priest!sugu <33
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sending my love from the other side of the apocalypse (means someone made it out): July 2023
Tumblr user @olsenkelly // Kate Dicamillo // via Pinterest // Lana Del Rey // Maggie Smith // Anne Sexton // Gerard Way // via Pinterest // My Chemical Romance // via Pinterest // Fall Out Boy official Twitter // Tumblr user @magpie-trove // My Chemical Romance // Anne Boyer // Station Eleven HBO // Hayley Williams // via Pinterest
#caption is from a post Gracie made the other day btw#also I don't have the photo cred for that pic of gerard but I stumbled across it and it made me freaking insane so it goes in the web weave#GET IN THE WEB WEAVE#crowbar quote/gee pic/alive in spite of me/HAPPY BOYS ON TOUR making me feel something. that's all#Lu rambles#web weaving#cruel summer? no. cool summer
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Throwback to when someone referred to me as the matpat of transformers
#very few will remember this because it really happened so casually and also... almost 2 years ago now#in the era I like to refer to as this blog's prime#on a little post someone tagged me in#and I was such a champ about it. I was so normal and did not make a scene#but I think about it at least once a month#it really was so crazy. what did I even do#I still don't know if I should be offended or not. I know it was written to place me in high regards#but that somehow made it hit so much harder#it's the type of thing that happens and you gasp and talk about it in discord but it doesn't feel that crazy. and then you look back and go#I can't believe that was a real thing that was said to me#I can't believe.. if only for a moment.. that is how I exist in someone's mind#Mac mumbles#the titles I was given in 2021... the range#chill laid back guy#bug in a jar anon wants to study#uptight annoying prick#insane individual trying to pass off as a chill laid back guy#<- favourite one btw#and lastly#the matpat of transformers#what an era
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friends and I have come to a consensus while watching farscape
#lab creations#farscape#that's aeryn sun and pilot btw. in case it was unclear.#shoving crichton away from her and out into space#Back despicable beast#i'm not very far in by the way. dna mad scientist made me feel insane though
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11/05/2024 marathon music works nashville tn
#behold a fan being cringe and anthony green!!!#he was hilarious just btw#he said to take a silly one!#and a serious one!#he offered to give frank the big frank pick my husband made!!!#he said for me to sign it#š„ŗš„ŗš„ŗš„ŗ#he's so kind to fans#he just he#he#ls dunes#anthony green#insane to me that I didn't feel self conscious in the moment
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oh i can already tell iām about to have some really unpopular opinions about the edge of sleep tv show
#i remember everyone loving the podcast when it came out#but as someone who was an active fan of audio dramas and podcasts for years at that point the show just. made me frustrated#i realized later after listening to left right game that qcode has this very strange and almost uncanny production behind it#where they get incredibly famous actors to play characters and then bank their marketing on that alone#and the writing is always *almost* good. like sometimes you start to think you might actually be listening to a good show#bc i mean the audio quality and special effects are all stellar#but then the writing and acting is always just a little bit too over-the-top and dramatic for it to feel natural#like the writers donāt know how to portray emotion without visuals so they just make everything Way Too Intense#and each time it feels like they just ask āwhatās the most insane thing that can happen next?ā#āoh ok heās gonna chop daveās dick offā#and every time you start to actually like a character they say something misogynistic or just otherwise batshit fucking insane#not to mention that time in left right game where a girl confessed her love to her best friend before LITERALLY DYING FOR HER#only for the best friend in the next scene to be like āerm iām not gay š awkwardā¦ā and sheās NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN#qcode productions are kinda like the fast fashion of fiction podcasts i think#they churn out so many so quickly and they always feel just slightly unnatural or superficial#not to mention when i tried looking into them years ago and itās impossible to find#literally anything about them. like their minimalist ass website was so insanely insanely vague#and yet clearly theyāve gotta have a fuck ton of money backing them to have this absurd amount of a-list talent on board#(which really i think that is all they care about)#anyways yeah some markiplier fans are gonna get pissed at me for not kissing the ground he walks on. but i was one of you. i AM one of you#and i hate that somebody out there is holding the iron lung movie over us like weāre dogs and if we wanna watch it#we gotta watch this show. which BTW they are giving no details about where to watch it#and seemingly no promotion or marketing material for a show thatās been in production for years coming out in less than 3 weeks#just weird as fuck man. and i donāt even think mark has much to do with it
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i havent even watched legacy yet but that fucking kh world did some.. unexpected things to me
#beep boop you want fries with that#kingdom hearts#re:kh#re:ddd#sora#quorra#tron#riku#was trying to redesign rinzlerās helmet bc god. its. kinda fucking boring. leaning into the beast more#also teh helmets eyes are supposed to look angry when its down and sad when its up. bwaaa#i heard rinzler acts like a cat. thats soemthing to look forward to when i watch the movie. grins.#the three dots are supposed to be the classic t. btw.#theres four you just cant see the last one.#made sora look more liek his space paranoids look because he needs to retain the 80s swag.#this reads like a change log.#and my good friend quorra. idk if iāve even posted that redesign b4.#yes im making her quote the ur my pockets eddie post#i think she needs to chew on things. maybe she should maul clu with her fucking teeth.#shes so unorthadox girl to me. do you see my vision.#also dw about riku falling or paralelling tron or anything hes fiiine.#speaking of the falling art. its old. so its inaccurate to how i draw riku now#before my brain was huge basically.#its so funny how i drew this much art for legacy like. i love tron 1982. i havent watched legacy yet but i feel like im gonna hate it.#the kh world was okay but it had a lot of potential and. uh. made me a BIT insane at the last part in soraās story (EXPLODES)#also this post is tagged re:ddd for. reasons. dw about it.#ANYWAY GN ITS 1 AM. RUNS AT MACH SPEED.
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revan for my dear friend @ramblingsofachristiannerd ššš
i hope you have the happiest birthday!
#i miss hearing about your ocs and talking to you about mine#we need to start swapping oc info again#i have been insanely busy lately so i have yet to go back to you sorry friend#but feel free to spam about your ocs in the meantime š#i love you š„ŗ#oh i forgot to mention i used a revan pic you made in picrew as loose reference! š#hope you like it š#when i drew it i showed it to my mom and she started asking me about him so i ended up telling her a little bit about him#and now she loves him#we need more lore š#haha#she often likes the similar type of characters as you btw!!#revan#friend's oc#ramblingsofachristiannerd#my art#my post#gabi tries out new art styles#for others
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