#this isn't the least bit serious
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Light breaks the news to Misa that he's leaving forever. Eh, Rem's cautiously happy.
Previous
Influences below.
Script/behavior references inspired by/stolen from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends:
Light's stream of shut ups are from "Dinner is Swerved." I can't find a direct link to that specific clip. It's when Mac and Bloo steal Duchess's bedsheets and mattress so they can safely escape out a window, and Bloo just quickly repeats shut up to her over and over to prevent any argument. I have Light use that same strategy to keep Misa from objecting.
Misa's disbelief is inspired by Bloo's at the end of this clip from "Everyone Knows it’s Bendy": link
#a graceful breakup#drawn by me#my fanart#my fancomic#Death Note#Light Yagami#Misa Amane#L#implied lawlight#Rem#Ryuk#shinigami#crack#unoriginal script#Sorry Misa. You're not joining those dumb boys this time. Maybe next time. :(#went simple with Ryuk because I really like drawing him in a simple silly style~#struggled with Rem's hands a little#Light knows that Misa has the Eyes so L's gotta wear a bag over his head#she may ask Rem to kill L for her because of this but she may not do it because Light staying away is more likely if he's alive#probably lol I don't know#this isn't the least bit serious#future additions will probably be a bit more original. I just needed to get these ones out of my system REALLY BAD#also we’ve all agreed that Misa writing in the death note with a fuzzy tipped pen is basically canon now right?
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There are two wolves inside me. One wants to embrace a new hobby in dance so I can be active and feel elegant and graceful and strong. This wolf wants to try something new and exciting, finally indulging in something I've always had an interest in.
The other experiences such frustrating emotions on a near daily basis that I want to go back to boxing, which is arguably easier to break into since I've already done it before. This wolf doesn't think of elegance, she just wants to fuck shit up until her body's so overworked and warm it fogs up car windows without having to do anything but sit inside.
Which one do I fucking feed??
#t. lee woes#like. do you know how hard it is trying to start something new that you've never done at all ever before??#and you've got no mode of transport until december - and ONLY if things go well#and now you're contemplating ways to mkre regularly earn a bit of money to afford the classes since paying weekly means my income#would wind up like $9 a fortnight since $40 would be spent by the end of each fortnight#it wouldn't necessarily be stagnant but it's not a desirable position to be in#I still have stuff saved up in a jar but I'm always hesitant to dip into that stuff#originally it was going toward a violin and lessons for that but I'm putting it off in favour of something a bit easier to dedicate time to#boxing is easy. in fact I could get support from my fam for that cause they like it#they don't see the point in dancing but I really want to at least try it and I'm worried about affording each term if I do end up liking it#also I already have boxing gear from before#but I'm hesitant about boxing at the moment for a lot of reasons I can't quite articulate but weirdly might have something to do with#internalised misogyny and biases... which is WILD cause my dad supports women learning martial arts#I can't do karate though I tried that and the class drove me a little insane#and it doesn't push you the same way boxing does and I really like to be pushed#if I don't leave sweating and hot and lungs and muscles aching then what's the point?? I can do mediocre exercise at home#and find more intense martial arts classes that also teach other kinds of self-defense#it's like... ehhhh#anyway but also I want to do something that's for fun that isn't so Serious Fight Mode#hence dancing#but I can only afford one not both and basically I'm grumpy today cause I was gonna trial a dance class - got ready and everything - but#my ride was suddenly unavailable. and I still can't stomach public transport. nor am I good at navigating it#it feels so different here compared to where I used to live - and I knew trains better not buses
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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐌 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐓 𝟏𝟏; 𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐀 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐘
hi! this post has been on my mind for a very long time, and with a possible hunger games resurgence underway, i want to address the not-so savoury and digestable bits about collin's writing, including her characterizations of black individuals within the trilogy.
first of all; district 11 is described as a large district, with its population mainly being black, or at least people of color. this is shown in the movie adaptations, and the several characters we meet throughout the series.
(rue, chaff and seeder's descriptions, but thresh, too.)
(depiction of district 11's population in the movie adaptation of catching fire.)
𝐬𝐨, 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦?
genuinely? the characterization of these individuals, such as chaff and thresh (both black males specifically.) the portrayal of both characters being a threat in size and combat, which is also often a microaggressive stereotype tied to black men.
(effie's reaction to the 75th's reaping & her snide comment against chaff, catching fire + thresh killing clove/sparing katniss, the hunger games.)
of course, i won't downplay thresh's kindness in his sacrifice of sparing katniss, but the display of his brutality paired with his decent & race does not look good (considering that the hunger games is written by a white woman!) and to me, will always come across as uncomfortable. even his speech makes him seem uneducated, more brawn than any brain, and that's also a heavy misconception when it comes to black men/boys/etc. i can see where suzanne tried to balance it out, but it doesn't work well in the slightest.
furthermore, we have to talk about the state of district 11 as a whole.
agriculture/farming as the role for one of the largest districts if not THE largest, seems innocent by itself. but then you have the treatment of its citizens, the way the population is worked, and the overall uneasiness of it.
(rue's experience in 11, the hunger games + katniss’ description of the district, catching fire.)
public whippings, senseless cruelty towards again, a WIDELY black populated district and their continual work on fields/in harvests all speak to remnants of slavery and pastimes taken place within the era of slavery. if suzanne collins was trying to make a point, or mock the treatment of this minority through a portrayal in her book as a white woman, she missed the mark POORLY. having the BLACK citizens, including women, children and men all working out in the fields? disgusting. beyond incomprehensible.
hoarding a minority in one district is crazy work too, because we barely hear about any other black characters minus paylor, beetee, and potentially cinna. and the fact that in katniss' eyes, 11 is treated perhaps the worst? says a lot.
𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭?
truthfully, i'm bringing awareness to my discomfort as a black teen/general black individual because this isn't just something you should brush past. you should see the treatment of these characters and condemn it. i see next to no posts about the blatant racism towards black people/poc in the hunger games and also within the fandom. this has been swept under the rug over and over and blatantly, I'm tired.
collins perpetuates the suffering of district 11 in historical and supposedly educational ways, but that doesn't make it okay for her to do so. as a white woman, collins abuses the usage of racial stereotypes with examples of district 11 men, the culture, their work, but also a wider environment than just 11, such as district 12 too (with the perpetuation of gale.)
#before you tell me “this is a stretch!” PLEASE read the post. literally read and research if anything#because this isn't something to be argued about#you should listen and hear black voices and understand where I'm coming from with this#because having thg as my special interest means a lot to me#but i will not ignore it's problematic bits for the sake of keeping peace and tranquility within a pretty ignorant fandom#the hunger games#the hunger games trilogy#thg#catching fire#mockingjay#rue barnette#rue thg#seeder thg#chaff thg#thresh thg#please don't argue with me in reblogs/tags/comments either. especially if you're non poc because i simply do not care#and please treat this post with the respect and kindness it deserves. i see my non-serious posts get from 20-50+ likes at least#so prioritize this just as much as you would any other post of mine
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The duality of Alfred...
#hetalia#hws america#my art#tw ed#hes hasn't actually got an ed but just in case#this man has SERIOUS self image issues#like he VAIN AF but also incredibly unsure of himself#if alfred isn't kept constantly busy he falls into self destructive habits#like yknow picking himself apart in the mirror#welllll maybe the t i n i e s t bit if binging#i wouldn't call it an ed tho#just that he binges when upset#he bleaches his teeth AT LEAST once a week#manscapes#GAWD hes so fluckin obsessed w his teefs#its hard work singlehandedly keeping up hollywoods smile reputation#his weight fluctuates A TON cuz he doesn't really move during winter but them is beaching every day during summer#ALSO hc that if a nation doesn't like a tooth (cuz maybe it chipped or got cavities or sm) they just... yank it out#kinda like humans cutting their nails so they grow back better#.txt
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Okay, having finished Glass Onion, it is a masterpiece on par with Knives Out...
I will actually lose my shit if I don’t get a romcom fic of Benoit Blanc and what’s-his-name Hugh Grant.
#knives out#benoit blanc#as a more serious review of the film...#I saw a lot of people wanting marta to be involved when the film was first announced#I stand by my feeling that that girl deserves her goddamn retirement leave her alone#I believe benoit has dinner with her when he's nearby#I love that the film continued Benoit getting emotionally attached to a fundamentally sweet and kind girl in an extreme circumstance#I want at least ten of these movies#I want Benoit Blanc to become a character like James Bond where the mantle gets passed down#oh my god it was incredible#(granted half the story was 'spoiled' by my wife noticing a nice bit of acting#but that in no way diminished my enjoyment of it#because contrary to what some people think about storytelling... the twist isn't the interesting bit#it's how you get there)#and it still managed to surprise us in such DELIGHTFUL ways
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alright, yeah, manja may be kind of sly... BUT have you also considered that she's a seven foot tall partially moth-like woman with luxurious, long black hair and glowing yellow eyes? like she's honestly gorgeous and i'm tired of pretending like she's not okok (LMAO i'm just joking as i know this account is still new so i haven't talked about her much 💀 but even with the, uhhh, body horror thing's manja's got going on — she is stunning)
#NO ONE EVER TELLS YOU THAT BRAVERY FEELS LIKE FEAR: musings.#ooc post.#JSJSJ okay i don't mean to be manja's hypewoman or anything but i am so serious about her being haunting but in an alluring type of way#sometimes. like IDK about you all but if a seven-foot tall woman with long black hair that also happens to wear exquisite robes granted#me the opportunity to save someone through a deal BC she's a death god even though that exception turned out to have some serious strings-#attached to it... i might have some inner conflict surrounding the type of anger i would be feeling towards her NGL. like i feel as if ana-#has felt the kind of anger that comes with someone being beautiful but them also trying to ruin your life at least once around her ahahhh#okay so this is mostly a joke post as you may be able to tell given the fact that i just wrote something flabbergasting 💀#but OFC manja isn't real so this would all be hypothetically speaking. but seriously... y'all can't tell me that there ain't a possibility-#you would melt in this god's arms if she hugged you as ana has gotten hugged by her and it was the most conflicting thing ever#because she both seems kind of tricky and genuinely nice towards the souls she collects#so all in all she is a bit complex as i touched upon before
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it happened so early in the morning and i am STILL frothing with rage over this text my boss sent me
#unreasonable unbelievable targeting me bullshit like what is your problem what is your PROBLEM#are you punishing me preemptively for telling you i'm going back to school? LOL? cuz sure That makes me wanna stay!#i am splitting so viciously on her right now and i can't even care to wish i wasn't#this was the last fucking straw mentally for me on Trusting This Boss#and i sure as shit can't trust the one above her#i am soooo mad i am so mad i am so mad i am so mad#i just want to be transferred out already and start part time work somewhere else NOW#if i can leave earlier i fucking will#i will be without insurance for a bit but i can try to get on some fast#i just. ooh! ooooh!!!! you little fucker!!!!!!!!#i cannot trust a single person in the front of the building anymore#and i have to sit next to my least favorite person in the back now#and i am just. utterly miserable right now i am Miserable at this job that isn't even as bad as it could be#but holy shit the petty condescending bullshit is driving me fucking up the wall#i can't look at any of them!!!! without feeling intense hatred!!!!#i have no social life outside of work and i can't talk to ANYONE there about this because it'd just find its way back to her!!!!#i can't tell HR because it's not that serious! except it's driving my mental health into a tailspin!#but i still can't tell anyone!!!!!!!! because what proof do i have that she's singling me out!#even tho she has NEVER FUCKING DONE THIS TO OR ABOUT OTHER PPL#i can't Prove that and i sure as shit can't sit down with her and talk to her about my feelings#no job is ever fucking safe to do that in#i just want to walk into a river honestly like i need work so i can pay for college but i wanna be in college already and be Out of here#i just wanna skip to the END of college when i'm actually able to be a nurse and i can feel less like the butt monkey at work#i hate hate HATE being at the bottom of the totem pole i am literally nothing there even though they need me to function#but oh my gd the Looks people give me when i walk in a room like they expect bad news or to be annoyed#sorry for asking questions! would you rather i fuck up and you have to clean up the mess?#i clean up everyone else's messes all day!#they ARE going to feel it when i am not there anymore#you'd think they wouldn't be such cunts to me now but Nope. nope! almost All cunts.#i am so fucking angry at my boss in particular though that text fucking triggered rage i haven't felt in months
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well lots to think about there
#I think...#it's good to come right out and say that turning back the clock is not the solution#i think that's accurate#the idea that you can have women kind of emerge as serious players in the last couple generations and then just snatch it away#not only is it cruel it's patently ridiculous#that said some of the concluding bits#I don't know#I wonder#is there an appetite for that kind of irenic posture?#it seems hard for one to adopt that yes-also posture you can be interested in women's liberation and also acknowledge this other problem et#he says something about how when you look at the 'traditional' way of thinking about gender issues and the traditional direction#you can't be surprised if all you have to offer men is to tell them how horrible they are or just to sign them up as allies#they just look elsewhere#i've felt that way about it for a long time#i've spent my whole life hearing about what utter garbage men are from every corner#not in the least from women telling me all the things Men have done to them#there's just no possible coherent response i can imagine#i've been increasingly worried as my sons get older that all i really have to offer them is an admonition not to be a rapist#and perhaps more broadly to get out of the way of women#this is the feeling among all the academics i know#put your tail between your legs submit smile no matter what they say about you and they do say some hurtful things and laugh#or else#again#this non-starter solution to just become some wild misogynist provocateur#I guess the stated goal of this guy's work isn't so much to establish solutions as it is facts#I do wonder what the solution could be#i sympathize with the desire to check out#oh I also cannot imagine any kind of positivity about fatherhood that would land or ring true or anything like that#however essential they find the presence of fathers to be#but that's another discussion
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Helloo, I still exist did anyone even notice I was mostly gone lol
Anyone interested in ehhh...slightly unhinged work-related talk?
No?
Well. Too bad
Anyone that knows me irl please ignore the tags – I'm embarrassed ✨🥰
#I said ignore the tags#please ignore them#I'm serious#alright soooo...i started this new job about 1 1/2 months ago... It's not great or anything neither is the payment but it's alright#also I can walk there from home bc it's so close by which is nice I guess#anywayyy it's a grocery store owned and run by a family (my boss and his wife + their 2 (3??) adult children)#now my boss is kinda hard to figure out I always think he's annoyed which makes me insecure but I think that's just how he is idk lol#but he isn't rude or anything (at least I never noticed??)#his wife seems nice and so does (one of) their daughter(s(?))#his son – who is idk probably in his early 30s?? could also be late 20s but I can't guess people's age – is the manager#he's nice as well I think and he even jokes around with (some of) the employees from time to time#either way...this is all rather irrelevant. Point is some part of me has decided to be uhhh weird about him in the past week ig#and I don't think that feeling was there before?? Idk I don't consider him attractive or anything (at least I don't think I do??) + he's#married (?? He's definitely taken) and has two children I think judging from his profile picture in our work-app at least and like I said#he could also be quite a bit older (I mean...yk)#anywayyy i am being weird about him and something within me turned into teenager mode or whatever and iiiiiiii don't know what to do lol#not that it's really a big deal I suppose it's just that he's my boss' son and my supervisor/manager/superior/?? which makes thoughts#outside of work weird (:#no i will not elaborate#alright tag rant over I'm not sure I really wanna post this this feels awkward to post publicly hah :')#will probably delete later#someone send help#((:
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Pls i cant stop thinking about the 5 eccentrics finding out (well, minus wataru) Rei calling Shu like hey, did you hear that eichi got married. And shu being upset wataru didnt tell him, i mean, yes they wanted a private wedding maybe but at least let HIM kno- "no, not to wataru" "......oh tenshouin must have a deathwish then". So it's bad as it is but then they find out wataru didnt know either and ensemble square needs to up its security because theres nothing that can protect eichi from their wrath. I like the idea of passive aggressive rei because he Knows what the others have in store
I think even in that case Wataru would still be like "well...you know, it's a shame but it couldn't be helped" and he'd put such an effort into pretending he's fine but one look at him and it's obvious he's been crying
#and that's the moment Shu decides that he doesn't care about the consequences he just walks up to that dorm room#and Rei and Aira and Mika have to physically restrain him from committing actual murder.#but I think the tragic things is that Eichi would also feel horrible#he would feel so so so bad#because it's true he does love Wataru a whole lot so I think he would be just as heartbroken about tha whole thing#my main gripe I have with him isn't even that he's engaged it's just#you could've at least told him....#like. thats the Bare Minimum#maybe it's because he was scared of losing Wataru if he tells him or something because that would make it realy but just#the bar wasn't high Eichi.....the bar was on the ground.....the bar was almost six feet under#and you still managed to screw it up#I don't even think Wataru would've been angry with him he would've just been sad but I think he'd get it#a sad kind of defeated understanding acceptance of the situation#but at least he would've known#because I mean. what would this entire thing even tell him#Yeah sorry dude he got married to another girl behind your back yes he's been engaged for a year yes he didn't tell you#sorry my condolences seems you weren't important enough to him seems he wasn't as serious about this as you were#seems he saw no issue with that whatsoever seems be was planning to discard you anyways and you were just his bit on the side to pass time#seems you didn't mean enough to him to give you a choice in the matter#looks like he didn't care about how you would feel about this#oh you thought you were partners? oh you thought you would talk to each other about importnat things? sorry. afraid not.#and you're an idiot for thinking so#Eichi Tenshouin you might not be able to fix this one if you don't grow a backbone and communicate. Think wisely if it's worth the losses.#cobalt🐍#wataei#<- I feel like being a little mean
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Praying for RE5R or CVR ssap so we can see 4k Wesker in combat
#it'll be another year at least until the next game but I'm hyped to see this silly man waking up and choosing intense violence in 4k#something tells me revamped wesker isn't going to be playing around#i don't think he'll be as 'gentle' with Chris as he was in previous games#older wesker just smacked him and threw him around a bit with a bit of choking on the side#new wesker feels more serious#it's hard to know though since he could act completely different when chris is in the room with him#he still might have that toying fruity side to him like in previous games
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didn't realise that the summer I turned pretty season 2 was still going lmaoo. I finished episode 6 and was like well damn I guess this is it. here we go again ig
#the problem with this series is that it is too set in todays time#but the books are so so 2010 coded and it kind of ruins the whole vibe#even the little choices of adding in modern music.. idk man. like my Jeremiah has never heard of Ariana grande and I know this in my heart#its so. Netflix originalified#and I know we will look back in 10 years to cringe at this bc even now I am cringing at it#and then the casting. that's a whole separate issue#she really said Conrad was 'dark dark dark' and they made him barely a brunette (can you use brunette for men? many have been wondering)#and Jeremiah isn't even properly blond like can we commit to the bit please. be serious about this im not even playing#bc they could have dyed their hair its not even that deep#I like belly at least like I look at her and I think yeah that could be belly#and Taylor as well actually. not in season 1 but her season 2 hair I believe it can be her#the only good thing they changed is making Jeremiah bisexual#and also I think the characters aren't obsessed with each other how I thought they should be after reading the books#the stakes are simply not that high when in the books it was like life or death for belly to get Conrad to notice her#ALSO not enough flashback scenes to their childhood#I don't even care ab this like that but it's just the principle of the thing! like it could have been great and they fumbled it completely#I need to have some kind of input in these things they should hire me as a creative director 😤#also I came here to say that Jeremiah is wearing an outfit I have worn many times before but I got sidetracked
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so as a treat for graduating and to cleanse myself from the stress of compulsory reading which caused me to not read anything for my own enjoyment for 3+ years and completely ruined my love of books i bought myself a trashy YA book and it feels so good i'm having so much fun
#orbitky#its a very fun light read your traditional ya romance#its definitely dramatic and cringey here and there but the love interest isn't toxic or anything (at least hasn't been yet)#so it's just 200-ish pages of pure silly fun#it's never cringey in like a *painful* way it's just fun really#and a good bit of the characters are actually very likeable#the only possibly problematic thing is flirting between an 18 yo and the protagonist's 15 yo sister#but it's very much portrayed as something that shouldn't be happening and in which the 15 yo would be a victim if it escalated#and the protagonist is very much against it#so i'm hoping nothing bad happens there#but truly it's such a cleansing experience and i needed this so bad after only reading very serious classics for years and having to analyz#them and read them in a very focused very specific unfun way#i'll get back to reading classics/more serious authors later but this is so healing
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Why the hell am I losing love for my old MFA OC AU bro come back that was a part of me
#I look at it and all I can think is that its a product of 14 year old me so naturally it's worse than my current writings#Twisted Shadows itself is kinda ass but I'd rather die than get stuck in a loop of rewriting it over and over#But also like. MFA itself is already a little shitty and cringe#Is it a true MFA AU if it's not at least the smallest bit cringe#Idk. There's so much of it that makes me never want to share it to the public because it's so drastically different from what I'm#known for writing#But also it's such a huge part of who I was in 2020#I could never let go of it fully. That would be abandoning a piece of myself#Its too late to do a complete overhaul since I'm 12 chapters into a fanfic I absolutely do not wanna rewrite a third time#But man. I wish I wasn't so against showing this thing to people who haven't known me since 2020#I feel like anyone who hasn't watched the show or seen the gradual progress of this AU would just think it's terrible#But it isn't really meant to be the same type of story as SotR or Ghost Phin. It's a damn Avengers fic with a bunch of huge fights and#comically evil villains. Among the more serious elements it should be a little silly and cartoonish. It's a fanfic for a childrens show#Idk man#peg speaks
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that old man will never EVER sign anywhere else. for one thing, none of the serious contenders can afford him, unless he wants the jodrou wifey discount contract. which i am pretty sure he does not.
and for another thing, he's too neurotic. you think he wants to bend an entire new city, staff, and locker room to his will? at his age??
#hockey#nhl offseason#to be serious for a second.#also having a hard time imagining if he ever DID do it‚ anywhere he'd be willing to do it for besides colorado#and like. obviously if he wanted it at the wifey discount‚ cmac would take him and who wouldn't? he's incredible#but it is just. that the things that he brings. are not the things that are the biggest holes for colorado rn.#so they'd also have to blow up the roster a little bit and i don't. want them to.#they'd have to get rid of rosco and move cmitt to 3c probably... which i don't love...#i mean! at least he can win a faceoff‚ something natemac is apparently simply allergic to 💕#but still we are missing guys with big bodies who will actually use them to hit. for example.#penalty killers who can do it like cogs used to (last spring was so rough at times......)#a solid 4c (i can't be too mad at cmac‚ but come on 🥺 why couldn't we get stenlund???)#and like. if val is out? that's irreplaceable. what we need in the top 6 if we lose val isn't 37-y.o. squidney. it's 22-y.o. ovi.#a fucking. freight train on the wing.#anyway‚ the entire thing is silly and the ONLY reason to even SLIGHTLY entertain the idea is that he wants to win so fucking bad#but he will never leave the pens for another team in one million years
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i love you. I LOVE YOU. modern day sidney farber and i LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!
#chaos.txt#id in alt text#i get so emotional about 1. medical advances 2. kid inventors and 3. endless hope of a better kinder world#what's not to love. look sidney farber up btw i have cried reading his wikipedia at least 3 separate times#i had the screenshot of the bit that made me bawl saved and i looked at it all the time when i was interview prepping#because of him my cousin isn't dead <3 and no one thought he was serious#young guy fled the country from nazis went to school saw kids dying & said absolutely no the fuck not. we are fixing this. and he did.#god im crying again. SORRY this post is about this kid. shoutout to this kid. i love him#chaos med rambles
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