#this isn't even a half of the thoughts i've got about chris

[fandomfluffandfuck]

I can't stop fucking thinking about premature ejaculation today, literally, I've been so distracted from everything, and it's probably definitely K's (@howdoyousleep3 's) fault with this fucking post (plus her broader, totally understandable, fixation with it 👀) that will haunt me for the rest of my days. So. Evanstan filth.

Chris was slotting his key card into his hotel room door but he isn't anymore and he doesn't know, honest to god, how he got from standing outside the room to lying flat on his fucking back on the plush, tightly made bed of that same room without remembering even a single rushed step but he is, he is, it's not even been a full minute, he swears, and ohhh--

Sebastian is here.

He's not supposed to be is the thing, though, he's got a thousand other places he's all but contracted to be right now; their schedules have been hell the last few months between their competing, demanding press tours for movies with such laugably different tones. Sebastian is doing two fucking press tours at once for Christ's sake, he doesn't have time for even a quickie. Chris feels like they've hardly heard each other's voices, seen each other's faces--they've not been calling, certainly not FaceTime-ing, just texting back and forth between the circuses of their limelight lives, just trying to keep it together while the world spins too fast around them.

Chris' head is spinning off his shoulders now. He's slammed his head back into the overstuffed pillows, his hair fanning out around him with a strand of it sticking to his forehead, sweating when, shit, he can't have been in the room for more than a minute or two, tops. He doesn't know if he pushed or Seb pulled--who led who to the bed? How'd they get here? How'd it become this?

Not that he can complain, he doesn't know and he doesn't fucking care how they ended up on top of each other, tangled together, knotted and beyond coming apart easily. He can't care because he's not even fully out of his shirt--it's half unbuttoned, pulled apart and pulled down to expose the upper half of his chest, flushed, normally pale skin and dark ink and a forest of hair, his necklace left astray, heated to his feverish body temperature and sizzling where it rests in the pit of his neck. That's not all, though. His shirt is rucked up to display even more of the scattered art across his skin, his abs clenching tight. He lost his slacks somewhere. Shoes, too. He was wearing shoes when he got in here, right? He had to be. Definitely. He wouldn't've--

It doesn't matter.

A moan comes tumbling out of Chris' mouth, and it doesn't fucking matter. His toes curl without even half of a muttled thought spared to investigating the sensation to rediscover if he's still wearing socks or not. And, oops, his boxer briefs are gone, too, now. Sebastian is stripping him of them impatiently, his hands frantic, greedy, as they slide down over his skin.

Bared, his cock hits his exposed stomach and Chris makes a sound that doesn't even make sense.

His mouth is open, somehow both too dry and wet with spit--almost drool. His bearded jaw has dropped so fucking wide it would be embarrassing if he could comprehend such a concept as embarrassment at a time like this.

This--

One leg bent at the knee, foot flat against the mattress, and the other leg curled indecently over his lover's shoulder as Sebastian's lips glide, slick and hot and unfairly erotic, against his cock, he's so hard so fast--responding to Seb's mouth like a subject of Pavlov, a damn dirty dog--that he's not even sure he was ever soft. How could he be soft when Sebastian is tilting his whole head into it? Getting fucking into it.

Woof.

He's merciless, mouthing at his dick, moaning like he fucking missed it. The weight. The taste. The mouthful. He must've missed it bad with how he's going at it, licking, dragging his tongue over it broadly, outrageously, then resting it heavily on his tongue, mouth open, sloppy, letting the tip slide against the soaked velvet inside of his cheek, bulging out pornographically, moaning, sucking on the tip, letting it slide deep shiveringly, impressively quickly. He's hungry--starved even.

And Chris' entire body clenches, uncontrollably, his muscles tight, helpless to not be swallowed up by it all. Then, just as involuntarily, Chris' hips buck up jaggedly.

Sebastian lets them, only groaning messily as Chris is enveloped deep in that lush mouth, deeper into that wicked throat.

Seb hardly even gags.

Fuuck.

Chris' neck arches harder, fighting and losing the battle against the flood of pleasure, feeling the sweet, hurting pull in his muscles and tendons past their usual use. Gasping, he can't get in enough oxygen to feed the bonfire Sebastian has sparked from just a match but grew impatient with, dumping gasoline on the whole fucking thing instead. Lighting. him. up.

Shit.

God, fuckin'--

It feels sofuckinggood.

His mouth.

Chris missed his mouth desperately, he missed him so badly, he was going crazy without him, now he's here and Chris can't understand it, did he take a plane? Did he drive from whatever fucking stop he was on with press? When? How long do they have? How is Chris supposed to think, to ask, when he can't even shut his fucking mouth. Groaning and gasping, then moaning. Endless. It's pure adrenalin and shock. Pleasure coursing through him so suddenly that it fractures him into a million tiny pieces.

Guh.

Sebastian is going to fucking suck his soul out of his body, going at him like that. It's not just the way he slurps and swallows and moans on his cock, though, it's how he's bobbing his head, taking it gorgeously, an inescapable, dire rush to every action, gagging, choking a little with his recklessness. He's filthy. He's gorgeous. He's--

"Oh. Oh," Chris can't stop any of the embarrassing sounds that are, just, coming out of him, spilling over, dripping down his chin, making a mess of his throat and chest. He's wet. Sweating. Spit. Dripping. "Wait," he's panting, moaning sharply, Sebastian's mouth is leaving scorching kisses down his shaft, his tongue flicking out to lewdly trace the throbbing veins, prominent on him visibly and psychologically, Chris' heart throbs in his chest, its beat pounding through his dick and rushing in his ears.

And Seb's just going, going, going--plunging deeper, getting to the base of his cock, slurping at his balls gluttonously, grazing them with his lips and teeth, sending tingling danger rushing through Chris like static.

"Baby-!"

He just keeps getting lower, using every weakness Chris has without even thinking about it, he knows his body too well, it's too, too good, so much, pulsing, rushing, boiling over.

"Baby, nno," he scrambles, his hands finding their way to Sebastian's gorgeous hair, pulling until he shivers and groans at the scalp-pin-prick pain, debauched, "I'm gonna," Chris struggles to use his mouth for something understandable, "oh, no, no-nnnghh, ugh, oh, I'm, w-we just st-AH-started! Wait!" He whines, "if you--'m gonna--"

His words turn from whining words to something entirely useless for communication, incoherent sounds of pleasure too good to not be afraid of it, razor-sharp around the edges, treacherous, all-consuming as Sebastian doesn't heed his strangled attempts at warning, burying his fucking face in him. He feels so fucking close to him that he might as well be inside him--reaching up through his gut to his chest to squeeze his racing heart--his nose pressed right up against that hypersensitive, intimate place behind his balls while his lips and tongue ravish his hole. He has no hesitation. No shame. He just--

Eats him.

He eats him out so fucking good, ravenous with that wet-dream mouth, that there's nothing Chris can do to stop it, even with his fist flying to the base of his dick to squeeze and choke off his embarrassingly early orgasm--it's all in vain. He can't stop it.

He's fucking cumming.

Spilling hard over his quivering stomach in all-consuming pumps that crash over him like storm-charged waves against the shore. His hips are pushed up so far--fighting it, squirming, trying to get away and get closer, and, shit, he doesn't even know what his body is doing as it's ripped out of him--that he nearly makes it to his bearded chin with his own release. It's wet and hot over his stomach, his chest, and his collarbones, almost his throat.

Christ.

With his chest fucking heaving, his lungs rasping, audibly struggling to get each breath out of his throat, Chris quakes through the aftershocks. Barely able to keep his eyes open enough to see Sebastian, buried between his legs, shuddering, and, oh fuck, thoughtlessly squirming against the bed, rubbing himself off against it, caught up in the same indulgent mood.

After another short, blurry, fast-motion moment, when Chris whines--again from too much pleasure, wishing for it to stop so he isn't so mortified, except for that last part, the mortification has already come, spreading itself out over his face like a proud, deep sunburn, then--Sebastian pulls away. His lips are swollen. Puffy, wet, and red. He looks as wrecked as Chris feels. Chris feels fucking scrambled. He's still half-humping the bed, whispering, heady, "Chris, Chr--" his voice catches in his throat "--Chris, Jesus," he spreads his legs wider, getting more friction, making Chris' sensitive cock jolt painfully at the obscene picture he makes, "you're so hot."

Chris feels hot. The blushing and embarrassed and squirming kind of hot, though. He kind of wants to fucking melt into the bed, it's been fucking years since he's cum with that little action and he usually prides himself on how he goddamn pleasures his partners first, then takes his, sometimes not even his own, he loves making others feel good and he's fucking good at doing it, bringing them to their knees, he's not like this, not normally; but, also, he really wants to surge forward, wrestle Seb flat onto his belly and get him back to tear into him. Right now, the best he can do, though, still recovering from the quick and dirty intensity of his shattering orgasm, is mumble, "your mouth," his face must be swollen with all the blood rushing into his tingling cheeks, "can't fuckin' help it, you drive me crazy," he excuses himself, shaky.

"Cr-crazy, nngh, yeahh," Seb echoes, losing it, melting from cocky and confident and in control to plain needy with all that good friction to his dick.

God, what a fucking sight he is, down there, between his legs, frenzied.

[glorious-spoon]

Thinking about the prompt "no, you’ll get an infection." since I just saw a gifset of our beloved firemen ripping open packages with their teeth. 😄

thank you! have a bit of established-relationship dorks on a very serious rescue mission.

-

"Buck," Eddie says, in the deeply patient tone that means he's refraining from adding, what the fuck is wrong with you. Buck's found that most people have a version of that tone, at least around him. Eddie doesn't employ his all that often; most of the time, Eddie is on board with pretty much anything Buck suggests. Digging around in storm drains for a missing stuffed animal is the limit, apparently.

"I've almost got it," Buck says, twisting slightly to wedge his shoulder against the grate. His fingers just brush the soggy synthetic fur of the small purple stuffed rabbit a few feet down.

"Isn't this how that kid lost his arm in that movie?"

He twists back to stare up at Eddie, who is backlit by the midday sun with the carnival spread out behind him. His hands are on his hips and his expression is half-amused, half-exasperated. "What?"

"Pennywise? Evil clown monster that lives in the sewers and eats children? It's based on a Stephen King novel."

"I repeat," Buck says. "What?"

"Right, I forgot that you don't watch anything other than nature documentaries and whatever Christopher adds to your Netflix queue."

"Bold words for a guy who's memorized every single telenovela from the past twenty years."

Eddie scoffs. "Come on. Who knows what's down there, you're not even wearing gloves, you're going to slice your hand open on some grimy piece of metal and get an infection."

"I'm being careful." Buck turns his head to squint down into the storm drain. It's too dark to see much of anything other than the faintly oily glimmer of water. There are cigarette butts and greasy fast food wrappers floating in it, and it doesn't smell great, but he's definitely dealt with grosser over the course of his career. Besides. He's so close. If he just stretches—

His fingers brush the rabbit's ear again. It topples over into the grimy water with a splash, and Buck swears under his breath. The toy is now half-submerged and several inches out of reach no matter how much he stretches.

"Buck," Eddie says again, softer. "Come on. It's just a stuffed animal."

"That Christopher won."

A sigh. "He's thirteen. I don't think this is going to break his heart, sweetheart."

Buck knows that this is probably objectively true. Chris was gleefully triumphant about winning at balloon darts even after Eddie grumbled about rigged games, but the stuffed rabbit itself seemed like an afterthought. He shoved it into Buck's hands with a quick grin before going off with his friends twenty minutes ago, and Buck is—stupid, probably, for the fact that this is sort of breaking his heart.

He hasn't thought about that giant stuffed bear that they won at the pier, the one that must have washed out to sea along with half of the Los Angeles coastline, in years. He doesn't even know if Christopher remembers it. He was little. And it wasn't exactly the most memorable part of the day. The little stuffed rabbit, which fits in the palm of Buck's hand—and incidentally, between the holes of a storm drain grate—makes a much more convenient souvenir. And it felt kind of—nice, having a sort of redo on that, even if Chris doesn't remember.

But Eddie's right. Short of trying to pry up the grate cover—which he could absolutely do, if he had a halligan handy—there's no way he's going to reach it. He sighs, resting his forehead on the metal frame, then wriggles his arm out of the grate and sits back on his heels, defeated. "Okay, fine. You win."

There's no response. When he turns around, Eddie is nowhere to be seen. Feeling more than a little put-out, Buck straightens up and looks around. It's not that crowded here, but there are enough passers-by that Buck's been getting a few strange looks, which he's been ignoring. The two streets to his left are closed-off for the carnival; to his right is a black-and-white parked across the median with a bored-looking beat cop directing traffic, and a couple of sanitation workers in hi-vis vests. Eddie is talking to one of them, but he glances back like he can tell Buck is watching him.

Buck spreads his hands in question, and Eddie holds up a finger, turning back toward the guy he was just talking to. Buck slumps, then sits down on the curb, staring forlornly at the storm drain.

A moment later, footsteps approach.

"Come on, stop pouting, scoot over," Eddie says as his shadow falls across Buck.

"I'm not pouting," Buck grumbles, but he scoots over.

"Sure you're not," Eddie says agreeably, sitting down next to him. "Here. You think this'll work?"

Buck blinks at him, then looks down at the trash picker Eddie is holding out to him, which has LA - DPW scrawled down one side in Sharpie. "Did you…"

"I mean, I had to give them a whole sob story, so you might as well try it," Eddie says, wrapping his hand around Buck's knee and jostling him gently. Buck takes the picker, then laughs, dropping his forehead to Eddie's shoulder.

"Sob story, huh?"

"Just saying. Probably more sanitary than trying to stick your bare hand down a storm drain."

"I love you," Buck tells him, and he feels Eddie's shoulder shake slightly with laughter before he straightens up.

"Love you too," he says. "Now come on, let's get started on this rescue operation. Though I think our patient is gonna need a thorough hose-down before we can transport him."

Buck snickers into Eddie's shirt. His eyes aren't wet, because that would be dumb. He rubs his cheek against the warm cotton anyway before lifting his head. "You're such a dork."

Eddie grins at him, ruffled and lovely in the afternoon sunlight. "Just trying to follow proper triage protocol here."

"Dork," Buck repeats, but he leans in to steal a brief kiss before they get the rescue operation underway.

[runningincircl3s]

Nothing Ever After

Noah Sebastian x Reader x Vinny Mauro

Chapter 8

chapter warnings: NSFW!! good lord this entire part is pretty much just smut. and weed is mentioned!

i spent a whole year basically just writing smut as it was the only requests i was receiving on my other blog so now writing it isn't so fun anymore unless i'm really feeling it and I TRIED SO HARD with this one because vinny mauro. but I thought this was worth mentioning and if any others writers know how to stop this PLEASE HELP ME OUT <3

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“I don’t think you’ve been on our bus yet.” Vinny says as he takes the keys from his pocket. He had to tell Chris he left his phone charger behind so he could get the keys from the driver without any suspicion. 

“No, it’s not much different from our one though. Except it looks cooler.” You laughed as you followed him on. 

“How the hell do I.. oh, wait is it this button?” He pressed a button by the door and it slowly shut, he turned around and held his arms up in victory, making you shake you head.

“So what movie should we watch?” You ask, setting the pizza box down on the table. 

“Whatever you want,” he says, turning on the tv, “We get netflix on here, it’s Rick’s account but I don't think he knows, I memorised his password back in 2018 and it hasn’t changed since.” 

“Ooh, okay,” you smile as you both sit together, a small gap between you both, he passes you the remote and you look through the movies as Vinny makes a start on the pizza, “Have you watched superbad?” 

“Duh!” He exclaims, his hand over his mouth as he ate. What a date. 

“Should we put it on?”

“Sure, baby.” He says, too busy eating to realise the word slipped off his tongue. 

You pressed play and reached for a slice of pizza, telling him about the first time you watched this movie, and how cute you found Michael Cera. 

“The first time I watched this was- I think- the second time I ever got high. I was at a friend's house and we had to put something on that wasn’t too overstimulating or would make us question our existence.” He laughed, taking another bite of pizza. 

“Do you smoke often?” You asked.

“...What do you mean by often?” He chuckled, “I don’t do it as much now as I used to, maybe a couple times a week? What about you, I don’t think I’ve seen you smoke or even vape or anything.”

“I don’t.” You state, “I never have."

“Because you’ve never wanted to, or..?”

“If I tell you the truth please promise me you won't laugh.” 

“I solemnly swear!”  He said with a smile, his hand on his heart. 

“I’m too scared to make a fool of myself, I tried Bryan’s vape once a few years back and almost choked up a lung.” 

Vinny couldn’t help but laugh, and you frowned, feeling half embarrassed.

“I'm sorry!" He tried to stop laughing, "You must’ve been inhaling it wrong,” he said, trying to hide his smile, “Y'know I think I’ve actually got some weed in my bunk at the back if you want to try it? Don’t think I’m pressuring you or anything though, I know that wasn’t a part of your ‘dream date’. I've literally just remembered I left it there.” 

You thought for a moment, did you really want to do this? You didn’t really care about trying it, but you remembered how hot Vinny looked a few nights ago when he was smoking with Folio, so with a slight smirk on your face you replied, 

“Sure, you can teach me how you do it properly.”

“Now this sounds like my dream date.” He smiled, reaching for another slice of pizza. 

Once the two of you had finished eating and the movie was over, Vinny went into the back and came back with a grin plastered on his face. 

“I had one pre rolled for after the show last night that I never got round to having.” He said, walking back to where you were sat, quickly opening a window before he sat down. “You definitely sure about this?” He asked as he slid his hand into his pocket to pull out a lighter. 

“Of course!” 

You watched closely as he put it between his lips and lit it, taking a hit and blowing out the smoke. It took everything inside of you to not show any reaction, yet you pressed your thighs together, covering it up by crossing your legs whilst he took another hit. 

“You ready?” He asked, holding it out for you. 

You took it from him and placed it between your lips, waiting for him to tell you what to do. 

“So when you inhale, do it from here,” he places his hand on your chest.

You swear you were losing your mind as his hand was pressing on your chest, and instead of listening to him you just breathed it in and started coughing as you felt the smoke hot in your throat.

“Sorry.” You laughed as you continued to choke, he smiled and shook his head, taking it back from you. 

“Do you trust me?” He asked, talking with it between his lips as he slipped his lighter back into his pocket.

“I do, why?” 

“We can try it another way.” He suggests, “But I need to be sure you’re alright with it.”

“I trust you, Vinny.” You say, and he nods his head, taking a hit of the joint. 

“Look at me,” he says, blowing out the smoke as he gently places his hand on your cheek, the rough pads of his fingers contrasting against your soft skin, “Open for me.” He grazes his thumb over your lower lip as he brings the joint back to his lips, holding the smoke in his mouth as he leans in, your lips barely touching as he exhales, blowing the smoke directly into your mouth. 

If you weren’t turned on before, you certainly were now. Your eyes fell shut as you inhaled the smoke the way he told you previously, and blew it back out as your heart pounded in your chest. 

“Fuck.” You whispered, opening your eyes to see Vin’s eyes had darkened, his breathing had become heavier and the way his lips were slightly parted, and it told you he was feeling the same way as you right now. The weed hadn't hit yet, but you were already feeling lightheaded from having him so close to you like this. You just wanted to lean over and-

You made a bold move as you took the joint from his hand as you lifted your leg over his, straddling his hips as he sat back on the couch, a lazy smirk on his face as he looked up at you through hooded eyes. His hands founds your hips instinctively, not breaking eye contact for a moment as you took the joint between your lips again, inhaling and passing it back to Vinny, who took it in his right hand, his left remaining on your hip as his thumb rubbed slow circles over your leggings. Cupping his face with your hand, you leaned in and blew the smoke into his mouth as he had done with you. You craved nothing but his touch, as you pulled back for him to exhale the smoke you hated the loss of contact, so you leaned back in, your lips finding his again but this time meeting him with a kiss, and you swear you've never felt lips softer than his.

Your hips rocked slightly as he kissed you back, a small whimper leaving your lips as his grip on you tightened.

“Shit, y/n if you carry on I won’t be able to control myself.” He groaned, his voice low as he pulls back from you and pushes his hair out of his face.

“What if I don't want you to,” you said, your hand resting on his chest as he puts out the joint that he had taken back from you, “You don’t know how bad I fucking wanted this since that night at the club, Vin. I’ve never felt like this so quickly about anybody.” You admit, your hands trailing down from his chest to press against his hardening cock- and without saying another word, his lips crashed into yours again with such hunger and lust that it almost knocked the breath out of you. You smirked against his lips when you felt his hips twitch against yours, so you moved your hand back up to tug on his hair, running your fingers through his brown locks as his hands grabbed your waist.

All of a sudden you were flipped over, his strength taking you by surprise. You were now lying beneath him, your back flat against the couch as he kneeled between your legs, pulling his hoodie and tshirt off. You reached your arms out in an attempt to pull him back down and get him to kiss you again, needing to feel his lips on yours, and he smirked, his hands placed either side of your shoulders on the couch as he leaned back down, his lips trailing from your jaw back to your lips, all whilst you couldn’t help but focus on his biceps, how was it that you hadn’t noticed this before?

“We could always go back to the hotel?” You said against his lips breathlessly between kisses, and he shakes his head.

“I’m sharing a room with Ricky- and I don’t think I can wait any longer.”

Your arms wrapped around his neck, letting out a soft moan as his lips trailed sloppy kisses down your jaw and towards your neck. He nipped and sucked at the delicate skin as his hand slipped beneath your tshirt, cupping your boob over your bra before you felt his fingers slide in beneath it. He let out a low groan as his fingertips brushed over your hardened nipple, and you couldn’t help but whine as his fingers experimentally pinched it. The weed seemed to have made you extra sensitive and even more responsive to his touch, and he was loving every second of it.

“Vinny.” You whispered, and you felt him smirk against your neck. 

“Need to get this off you.” He said, reaching for the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head as you reached behind to undo your bra to save him the embarrassment of trying to take it off for you, throwing it down in a pile with your clothes before he dived in, taking your nipple between his teeth. 

You could only moan his name and tug his hair as he worked the other one with his other hand, you still felt the need to get impossibly closer to him, this still didn’t feel enough. You wrapped a leg around his waist, pulling him in closer in an attempt to relieve the ache you were feeling between your thighs. 

“Didn’t expect you to be so needy, baby. Why didn't you tell me you've been wanting me this bad?” He teased, pulling away from your tits to focus his attention elsewhere, his hands exploring your body. “Tell me what you want. baby.” He whispered, his fingers playing with the waistband of your leggings.

“I need you to touch me... Please..." You whine.

His eyes were so full of hunger as he pushed himself up, pulling you up with him so you were both now standing. He got down on his knees, keeping his eyes on yours the entire time as he lid his fingers beneath the waistband of your leggings to tug them down, allowing you to step out of it and kick them to the side, leaving you stood with only your panties on as he took in the sight in front of him. 

You wondered who really was the needy one when mouth was almost watering as he kissed over your panties in the spot where your clit was covered, you could already feel your knees becoming weak as he lifted one of your legs over his shoulder, allowing him better access. Whilst he was borderline making out with your pussy through your panties, you ran your fingers through his hair, begging him for more between moans of his name and whimpers that slipped your lips, and your prayers were answered as you felt his hand slide towards your ass.

“Can I take these off?” He asked, his fingers dipping beneath the waistband, and all you could do was nod your head, your lips sealed shut, trying your best to keep your composure. “Baby, we’re not in the hotel, you can be as loud for me as you want, okay? I wanna hear you.” 

Once your panties were off, that was it. He took in the sight of your pussy for a moment, spreading your lips apart, ghosting his finger over your clit, complementing how pretty you were, and then with no prior warning you felt his lips wrap around your clit, sucking on the delicate bud whilst his fingers found your hole, teasing your entrance as his warm tongue worked on you. He watched how you reacted as he slipped one finger into you, taken back by the resistance he was met with. 

“When was the last time you were fucked?” He asked, his voice dripping in lust as he didn't even bother to look up at you, too lost in giving you pleasure.

“Fuck, it’s been years.” 

“Mm, I can tell,” he says, adding another finger as he works you open, feeling his hot breath against your inner thighs, “God, you’re so fucking wet, fuck.”

“Oh Vinny…” You whimper, a hand gripping the table so tight you were scared your knuckles would pop out. 

His fingers curled inside you, searching for the spongy spot that made you see stars as he lapped at your clit. The sounds being made were so filthy, you couldn’t believe it was actually happening. 

“Fuck, Vinny, I don’t know how much longer-” 

He pulled away, his mouth making a pop sound as he let up from your clit, but not without delicately placing a kiss right on it. His thumb began rubbing circles on your clit as he kissed around between your thighs, nipping and biting at the skin, sure to leave marks. 

“Let go for me, let it all go, baby.” He says, nuzzling his face against your thigh before turning and sucking your clit into his mouth again, needing to see you go over the edge for him, needing to see you fall apart for him. He could've cum in his pants at the sight of you above him right now, your hair falling over your face as your arm shook, trying your best to hold on to the table to stabilise yourself.

You couldn’t believe the sounds that were leaving your mouth as your orgasm suddenly took over you, like a wave of electricity radiating throughout your body. You felt tingles in your fingers and toes as you came undone, your legs shaking as the most intense orgasm of your life washed over you, and Vinny gently lifted your leg off his shoulder, helping you put it back to the ground as he watched you with awe. However, you weren’t completely satisfied yet. 

When you came back to reality, you didn't hesitate to reach your hands down to unbutton Vin’s jeans, undressing him with ease before you cleared the table. You wrapped your arms around Vinny’s neck, pulling him in for a kiss before pulling him down with you as your back hit the table, grinning against his lips as he growled and you felt his hardness through his boxers, aching to be released. His hand found your waist, holding on to you in fear that you’d slip away if he ever let go as his tongue slipped into your mouth. 

He couldn’t ignore how painfully hard he was anymore, he knew he wouldn’t last long once he was inside you, but you didn’t care, you just needed to feel full again, it had been so long since you’d been so intimate with somebody, and he could tell by the way you were desperately reaching for his cock. 

He pushed his calvin kleins down his thighs and the tip of his cock brushed against your clit over and over again as he grinded his hips into yours, and you whined at how sensitive you were, still coming down from the high of your orgasm. However, when he positioned himself just right and you felt the head nudge past your walls, you broke away from the kiss, holding his body as close to yours as possible, your nails digging into his back. He groaned at the feeling, you were so unbelievably tight, and he was aching for release, it was like you were both experiencing your first time again.

“I'm sorry I don’t think I can-” Vinny began, but you shook your head.

“Don’t worry… Just needed to feel you.” You whispered into his hair before he began to move, painfully slowly to begin with. You could feel every stroke so intensely and this mixed with the feeling of his thumb on your clit was enough to drive you over the edge once again.

Just as he was beginning to pick up the pace, your walls started clenching around him, and by the way your nails were clawing at his back, he realised you came again, and with one last thrust of his hips he quickly followed, coming undone as well, releasing deep inside of you, the added warmth only making your walls clamp down harder around him as he buried his face in your neck. 

"Fuck." You whispered, breathlessly, earning a lazy chuckle from Vin.

The two of you stayed like this for a moment, completely bare, your bodies engulfing each other as if you were one. When he finally came back to reality, you felt Vinny press a kiss against your neck before pushing himself back up, looking down at you with a dazed smile. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful, y/n.” He says, slowly pulling out of you, beginning to get himself dressed. 

As you sat up on the table, watching him, you couldn’t help but smile. Everything that was causing you so much stress over the last week was completely forgotten about in this moment, it was just you and Vinny. 

“I don’t usually fuck on the first date.” You chuckle, watching as he collects your clothes that had been thrown across the bus. 

“And I promise I don’t usually only last 2 minutes, we all have our exceptions.” He says with a smirk. “We better get back, Rick's going to start to wonder why I’ve been gone so long.”

“Yeah, good idea. I’m starting to feel tired anyway.” 

"Let's get you to bed, baby."

Vinny helped you off the bus as your legs were still a little wobbly, and as the two of you walked back to the hotel there was a peaceful silence.

“Goodnight Vin.” You smile as you get to your room, scanning the key on the door for it to unlock, “Are you sure I can’t convince you to stay the night?” 

“You know I’d love to but not tonight, I told Rick I was going to meet up with a friend that just happened to be in town so if I didn’t come back he might just assume that this ‘friend’ kidnapped me or something,” he laughed, “but I had a great time tonight, I’d love to do it again.” 

“What? Get high and fuck over the bus table?” You raised your eyebrows, smirking as he shook his head.

“No, I mean spending time with you, y/n. I like your company, and I don’t say that about a lot of people.” 

You felt warm and fuzzy inside at his comment and reached out to give him one last hug and a kiss on the cheek. 

“Goodnight y/n.” He says as you walk into your room, leaving you all alone to process what the fuck just happened. 

After having a shower, brushing your teeth and changing into your pyjamas, you finally get around to checking your phone after having it on do not disturb all evening to see you had texts and missed calls from Noah. 

“The guys and I are going out for dinner soon, want to come with? X”

*2 missed calls from Noah*

“Y/n I swear if you’re asleep.”

“Don’t complain about being tired tomorrow”

“I’ll bring you something back :)”

*1 missed call from Noah*

“Got you some food but Jolly ate it. We travel to our next venue at 10. Soundchecks at 1.”

You couldn’t help but feel bad reading Noah’s texts, and you felt even worse knowing what you were doing whilst he thought you were just sleeping. You frown, thinking of a message to send back. 

“Hey I’m so sorry, I’ve not been feeling well I think I’ve been asleep most of the day. I’m starting to feel better now though, I’ll see you tomorrow :)”

It only took a couple minutes for him to reply. 

“Glad you’re feeling better x”

You knew this was a bad idea, entertaining Noah and Vinny at the same time, but it was all just fun, right? They're band guys, surely they have one night stands all the time.

But after tonight, you didn’t want Vinny to feel like you’d used him in any way. You thought it would be best to text him, and so you thought and thought of what to say, writing and deleting and rewriting a text and you eventually settled with...

“I had such a great night tonight Vinny, and I love spending time with you, but I don’t want to lead you on at all. You kinda know the situation between me and Noah, and it’s not fair on either of you that I can’t work out my feelings for the life of me. If you’re happy to, we could have a kinda no strings arrangement?… I really like you, and I don’t want to hurt you or Noah which is why I need you to know I just can’t commit to anything whilst we’re touring, my minds all over the place and I just want us all to have fun. I don't want to risk anything that could possibly affect any of our careers. But thank you for tonight, goodnight x”

And you hit send.

————————————————

@rumoured-whispers @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @lma1986 @thisbicc @dominuslunae @miss570 @miamore0570 @jilliemiw86 @itsyaboinoah

[canonicallyobserving911]

9-1-1 Episode 8x4 Review

It's been a few days since I watched the episode but I took some time to gather my thoughts about it because I wanted to provide a fair and balanced assessment. I rewatched it more than once but truthfully, it's been a long time since I've done that with any 9-1-1 episodes because I haven't been impressed for a while, especially after seasons 5, 6 and 7. The last episode that I rewatched more than once was 6x13 "Mixed Feelings" and that was because Buddie and the Buckley-Diaz Family were heavily focused.

However, since that time, episodes have been lackluster at best, the pacing, timing and continuity were off and they didn't feel like the old 9-1-1 of seasons 2, 3 and the first half of 4. Whole seasons could have been yeeted to the sun and I wouldn't miss them one bit but most of episode 8x4 was surprisingly good and I appreciate them for trying to find their footing and returning to their roots. There were a sufficient amount of emergency calls and the personal storylines were nicely intertwined. Since I didn't see KR's name in the opening credits like it was in episodes 8x1 - 8x3, it appears she's gone and she took her horrible pacing, bad timing, retconned characters, the redeeming of underserving $hitty parents (Margaret and Phillip Buckley, Helena Diaz and Sang Han) and her ability to let important character development happen off-screen with her (looking at several missing scenes from seasons 5 and 6). Hooray!

Before I get into this, I have to mention my favorite parts of the entire episode were... everything that included EDDIE DIAZ!

Eddie's my favorite character and after 7 seasons, he's FINALLY being given the individual screentime he deserves. His storyline covered everything that makes Eddie spectacular including his time in the Army, his combat medic skills, the fact that he's smart, talented and sexy as hell. Furthermore and most importantly, he's a great dad! He loves Chris and he'll sacrifice anything for him including his own happiness. Also, he encouraged people the way he always has. I'm so happy and excited that his storyline IS NOT attached to his deceased wife or her doppelgänger! After the way season 7 ended, hopefully, it's been dealt with and his character won't be regressed to relive it yet again.

RG is an excellent actor and he's finally getting the attention he deserves!

Now back to the regularly scheduled program!

Even though I enjoyed most of the episode, it wasn't all sunbeams and moon pies. Therefore, I'll start with the things I didn't like first and continue with the things I did.

Dislikes

The Gerrard redemption was ridiculous 🙄 and IMO, it shouldn't have ended that way. His character was completely changed from the racist and bigoted captain that Chimney and Hen endured during their begins episodes and was made into a hard nose captain who got an undeserved redemption arc. Do people change? Yes, they do and can but it's difficult to connect how they got there when it isn't shown or addressed in CANON. Viewers shouldn't have to do mental gymnastics to figure out what happened to them and it appears whatever happened to Vincent Gerrard is a direct result of lazy writing. They could have easily brought in a different captain if they weren't going to address his past and especially if they weren't going to let Hen and Chimney remind him of it so he could explain that he was different but I digress. (I have an idea that involves why the character received an attitude transplant and his demeanor was changed but I'll include it in a different post.)

Overall, the way the Mara storyline was handled wasn't the best and I don't like how Madney's storyline was connected to Henren's. I get it, they became foster parents at the end of season 7 to help but something about the way Maddie and Chimney never had an on-screen conversation with Hen and Karen before they did it doesn't make any sense. This has partly to do with the fact that in 6x5, Maddie and Chimney hired Magda as Jee's nanny but after Maddie let her go, Chimney said they were back to the friends and family plan for babysitting. Well, the Lees were already helping them with that so whenever Maddie and Chimney were at work at the same time (like they were throughout the first 4 episodes), who was assisting them with Mara's care. I know this is a TV show but there should be some logic and reality based in it. Finally, I didn't like how there was supposed to be tension between Madney and Henren but it appears that storyline was ixnayed or it was changed and I'm glad.

Madney not having a storyline of their own since their wedding in 7x6 is not cool and I really don't appreciate it (also, it focused entirely too much on Doug instead of the bride and the groom). Let's be real, at this point, if all they're going to do is write them in a way that just allows them to support the other main characters then... WTF are the writers doing because they should have their own storylines just like everyone else. It seems like they don't know how to write them now that they're married and that's just ridiculous because there are lots of storylines they could have.

Metro Dispatch is heavily focusing on Maddie and I've posted about it before but things there are completely unbalanced when they didn't used to be. Now they have Maddie as the center of attention with Josh standing behind her or across from her but where is everyone else in dispatch? I'm not talking about the background characters; I'm talking about Linda Bates and Sue Blevins. IIRC, neither of them have been included in any episodes thus far in season 8. Dispatch was a lot more balanced with them included so it would be nice if Maddie's allowed to interact with someone other than Josh.

Bathena's at home arc was interesting and it's unclear what exactly the writers are trying to show with it. For starters, they've had communication issues since they began dating back in season 2 but after 7 seasons, they should be past this stage by now. Their whole cruise ship arc demonstrated how they needed to learn how to talk again but for some reason, Athena didn't consider Bobby's feelings about the old house and Michael before she contacted him. Even when they were viewing the new home, it appeared they weren't properly communicating. It just doesn't make any sense and even though it's a TV show and it's all about the drama, there should be some realism. Additionally, the way they're being portrayed makes it seem like the only time they talk is when they're about to lose each other forever, i.e. Bobby getting shot in season 4, Athena needing Bobby's help after Jeffrey kidnapped Harry in season 5, Athena catching Junior in Florida in season 6, the cruise ship in season 7 and the airplane landing in season 8.

Henren needs a break from their children being traumatized. They just got Mara back and now Denny's going to be hit by a car on Halloween and I have no words. Can the show please give them some good storylines for once? Even though Karen's not a main (she should be after 8 seasons), she's a rocket scientist and they should find a way to incorporate her job into the show the same way they did Michael's. He's an architect but that didn't stop them from having Bobby call him in 2x15 to get the blueprints for the bank.

Likes

Ortiz is finally gone and that's all I'll say about the character and hopefully, she'll never return.

T.K. 2.0 wasn't in the episode. 🥳🍾🥂 Hopefully, Buck will dump him in 8x5 and it'll be his last.

The emergencies were good. I really liked the one with the tiger even though it was horrible CGI. TM posted the tiger is real but clearly, everyone watching could tell the tiger wasn't in the actual apartment with Patty, Buck and Hen.

Brad Torrence's comment about everyone else on "Hotshots" thinking it's an ensemble cast was funny.

The overall message about them being a found family again HAS BEEN LACKING FOR A LONG TIME but 8x4 appears to have brought it back.

The ending montage was great (except the Gerrard part) but I'll do a separate post about it to share more thoughts.

Chimney doing the rope rescue and being competent with that dart gun was fantastic and he looked sexy as hell doing it. I love it when they give Chimney a good storyline that demonstrates his skills and hopefully, it'll remain this way. He's an excellent paramedic and his experience should be highlighted more.

Eddie was so great in this episode (see above) and seeing him go out of his way to help another father because of his own experiences with both his dad and his son was excellent to see. As mentioned earlier, Eddie gives good advice to other people, he always has but now it seems like he's applying it to himself and he might be finally getting ready to move on from his past.

The Buddie moments were THERE like they have been since TM (showrunner) returned and it was great to see Buck and Eddie being setup for the start of Buddie CANON. I've done a lot of character analyses and posts about Buddie so IMO, the way they were portrayed in this episode is leading to one thing and one thing only, CANON BUDDIE!

The pacing and timing elements were great and if they keep it up, future episodes will continue to feel like the original 9-1-1.

All and all, it was a good episode and it was one of the best that they've done in a long time. There's still more work to do but hopefully, it'll include some professional development for the mains. I've been posting about this since season 6 but for some reason, TM is focused solely on their personal lives but that's not realistic because people apply for job promotions all the time. The day will come when Bobby has to retire for good so he should be training his replacement and Athena should be doing the same. Hen and Chimney should be moving forward on the paramedic side since they've been with the department for more than 13 years. Maddie should be a senior dispatcher by now but she isn't and it doesn't make any sense. Eddie should be a certified paramedic and Buck should be training for his next role too.

Hopefully, 8x5 will include more good emergency calls because currently, I don't want to see Denny get hurt. #TheWilsonsDeserveBetter

[planetdream]

Types of mafia bosses/position in the gang for skz? I've got the brain rot for this lately I blame the pics of them in suits and shit; I just imagine loads of tattoos too and yep I may do this to myself. But anyways, thoughts? Or thots?

can't wait to find out who of them is the first to get a real tattoo 😻😻 i will go batshit fr but i do love me some good organized crime (goodfellas is one of my favorite movies of all time, and ive written scarface fanfic, been thinking about watching the sopranos) also so so so sorry bc this was sent in may and clearly I took my sweet time answering this 🥺

cw; organized crime (i just love saying that) (non desc.) violence n drugs n sex 😻😻

let me preface this by saying, bear with me, because although i gave this a lot of thought, it lowkey reads like a random cluster thoughts lmao. anyway, i came to the conclusion that if i ever were to potentially expand on this concept more 👀👀👀 that in my head, the boys are split into two crime families, with chan and minho being the two bosses. think of their dorm arrangements (3racha/hyune + minho and the minhoettes; if those are still their arrangements ? lol). i would also say the two families are on fairly decent terms.

chan, or should I say, chris, is the stereotypical mob boss who chooses to shield his lover from the violence and drug side of his work—but has no issue showering them with the drug and violence money. if you haven't seen goodfellas, there's a scene where karen asks henry for money to go shopping before he leaves, and he gives her half of this thick stack of cash before she drops to her knees and well... yeah. not sure why, but it gives channie vibes, imo. like he hates to be pulled away from his work, but if his baby needs him for a few minutes, even an hour or two, it isn't a problem.

i'd say as a mob boss, he's one that lurks in the shadows—he likes to protect his peace, to an extent. he'll pop out and show his face every once in a while to remind others of his territory. he's always going to get his lick back, but he plays things strategically as he's not someone who makes brash decisions; it might not happen now, but it will happen. he also tries to give back to his community and those who raised him within his neighborhood, etc. he's all about strong family bonds and despite him being feared; despite all the blood and threats, the violence and damage; he craves to be loved.

changbin, strikes me as someone who is eternally faithful to the family. maybe..even to a fault (if this were a scorsese film, i feel he'd be one of the last to be murdered; and it probably happens off screen lol). but because he is loyal, he is most definitely chan's second in command, a real right hand man. if anything has happened to chan, then changbin knows that he must not hesitate, he must not mourn or act out—but to learn from chan and play things strategically. he must assume the role of the don. off topic, imo, he's someone that might show off his partner. bringing them to poker nights so all the others can drool over them. his lover is his prize and he'd go above and beyond for them. (has definitely been set up by a lover so he doesn't trust easily, but when he does, whew, he falls head first)

hyunjin is in it for the moneyyyy.. feel like he just wants to show off and get girls (and the mens...👀) and do drugs. he just wants to have fun, most importantly. life is like a video game to him; he's kinda just doing a bunch of side quests—but he knows everyone and everything, a real socialite. kinda perceive him as a friend of the mob who has serious drug connects. since he's everywhere all the time, just being in others business feeling like the cops would be trying for yearsss to pin him on murder or intent to distribute charges but they've only got him for possession once.

now jisung confuses me just a bit. originally i wrote this paragraph about how jisung and felix remind me of lenny from shark tale (another scorsese classic, sorta). they don't seem to be cut out for the life of crime and would rather just leave and be their true selves. but them mfs r not sharks!! leaving can be potentially dangerous and often has consequences (and those two would like to keep their fingers and well, their lives).

that being said, i had been internally debating on whether or not jisung would be perceived as someone who could potentially squeal if pressured heavily—which definitely would affect his rank/status.... but I think he's dedicated to prove himself in the life he was given. likely starts of simple; he's selling drugs n stuff. then, he's even handled a couple hits—so now he's looked at with respect when around everyone. and if he's honest, to be accepted and respected means a lot to him. he almost wears his murder count with such pride. has been told time and time again, not to act irrationally.

minho, is ruthless, and would like for his other half to be equally as ruthless. for that reason, he doesn't care to shield any of his work from you, and often asks for your opinion on things. if you're in the club and somebody hits on you or tries to start shit he wants you to be able to handle yourself; thus he recognizes you are your own person and not his property. i feel like minho would want to damn near fear his lover. yet I also view him as someone who is nowhere near ready for a relationship (doesn't have the time, he says) but is always at the right longitude and latitude to fuck yk?

because min is a scorpio I am also inclined to say that he is also a boss that lurks in the shadows—pulling strings behind the scenes. he's not a show off and he's not much of a talker either so but you better believe his actions speaks volumes. he fears no one and will more than definitely make sure he makes an example out of those who fuck up. low-key god complex; everything works out in his favor, especially if he's the last one standing.

nobody knows felix is apart of a crime family and he likes to keep it that way. he flies under the radar and because of it, he's made things that seem impossible happen. he gives a very trustworthy vibe, people feel comfortable around him—he deceiving them. but it's gotten him certain connections, through certain doors, and he's learned heavy secrets (blackmail champion). his kill count is unknown. no like he flies so far under the radar, not much is known about him. still, he says a lot about himself without saying too much.

thinking that seungmin is minho's right hand—his MOST trustworthy. yet I can also see seungmin as someone who may have ulterior motives: he's making his own moves and plays behind everyones back and can be perceived as untrustworthy if anyone knew simply due to the nature of what he's doing (building his own empire maybe who knows) honestly gives hitman vibes if im real (I think there's a very thin line between hitman and serial killer yk and well...hitmen don't take trophies...) seungmin is fr someone who shouldn't be crossed. isn't into dating but he might fuck around once or twice

jeongin chases that dream to be a Made Man™ since being a kid (similar to henry in goodfellas) I would say that he's really reliable. well, until he's not. he's handsome and the ladies love him, what can he say? thus, he stays IN the club unless there's an important play to be made. he's crossed between living his young life [drugs, parties, fucking] and going for his dreams and really committing to the mob life. every so often he has phase where he's getting back into the loop of things until something traumatic happens then he's off on a 4 day binger,,

very interesting indeed.....would love to chat more on this hmm

[flightfoot]

I have scattered thoughts about Nino, Alya, and the intersection of racism/misogyny.For example, Alya may receive more criticism not only for racism but also for misogyny. We support women's mistakes! Except not and especially not if it's a black woman.

(And I can't help but notice how many of those criticisms are aimed at Alya not fitting the Good Black Friend™ trope )

But now, with what you said about how Nino's criticism in that episode isn't that harsh, I'm VERY curious about the amount of Adrino vs alyanette fics taking into account the main focus.By that I mean that both couples, if they appear in the same fic, are treated equally and not that it is one of the cases of "we went back to lesbian women because I want to see two men kissing." (This is a VERY common problem in several fandoms where the misogyny that many m/m fics usually imply and the erasure and reduction of F/f couples have been pointed out)

Oh yeah, most of the heavy criticism and outright demonization of Alya comes down to her supposedly being a "bad friend" to Marinette... because she dares to "ask why Marinette doesn't like someone" and "asks for evidence that the person is really as bad as her friend thinks" instead of immediately believing that her friend is 100% correct in her assessment on nothing but her word and committing herself to doing whatever her friend wants in order to take down the other person.

There's this expectation that "being a good friend" when it comes to Alya means that she has to give up all notion of personal judgement or perspective. Heck, looking at the uproar over Rocketear when Alya told Nino that she's still helping Ladybug, or even earlier with Optigami when she decided to get the Turtle Miraculous for Nino because she thought it might be useful, she gets hefty criticism anytime she does anything without Marinette's express approval, no matter what her personal issues or perspective.

Actually the babysitting issue is probably the most clear-cut illustration of this. Alya volunteers to babysit Manon multiple times so that her friend can spend time with her crush, with Marinette even tricking Alya into babysitting Manon for her once so she could do an interview? Barely a peep of criticism against Marinette. Marinette babysits Chris ONE TIME so Alya and Nino can go on a date? Alya pressuring Marinette to babysit for her without pay and behind her parents' back becomes a common recurring trope.

(Note: I'm aware that Marinette's slated to babysit two more times for Alya during the series, in Timetagger and Simple Man. But in the first instance she cancels because she's busy, and in the second one she dumps the kids on her grandpa so she can help with Adrien's photoshoot, so I'm not counting them).

If Marinette needs someone to cover for her babysitting duty, then Alya's merely doing the duty of a good friend by taking on the responsibility for her. While if Marinette ever covers for Alya, she's being taken advantage of by a toxic friend.

Considering that the main criticisms of the "Black Best Friend" trope boil down to how it makes the black character an accessory to the white (well, in this case Marinette's only half-white) character, whose main purpose is to serve and support the other character, without having any internal world of their own? Yeah, I'd say that Alya's major demonization almost always comes down to her violating that role, even slightly.

Oh yeah, Adrino vs. Alyanette fics. Weirdly enough, there appear to be more fics tagged with Alyanette than Adrino (note: I'm gonna keep on all my usual filters for this search, I ain't seeing saltfics if I can help it). I've got 360 Adrino fics, but 560 Alyanette fics.

Now, in my personal experience, very few fics have equal focus for both pairings when they're together. They normally favor one or the other, with one being the main focus, and the other being more of a "pair the spares" situation. I'm also gonna skip the ones where it's one happy poly pile.

So here's the tag I ended up with, when I factored in all my usual exclusions and also included Adrino and Alyanette and excluded Alya/Nino/Marinette/Adrien and Lovesquare.

Of these 33 fics, 11 appear to be Adrino-centric, 6 appear to be Alyanette centric, and the rest I dunno. So I'd say Adrino gets a little more attention, especially since its fics tend to be a lot longer than the Alyanette ones.

Honestly though, I will TAKE Alyanette being "pair the spares" for Adrino a lot of the time, it's a heck of a lot better to make Alyanette and Adrino Ship Mates than to inflict Die For Our Ship on one of the pairs.

[sweetcreatxr]

♡ Always been you (3) ♡

Part 3 - La vie en Rose

A Chris Evans x male reader mini fic 🎀

Here part 2 !

Warning : Chris being threatening and a savage but also vulnerable man, hurt/comfort beacuse its amazing ! , reader and Chris being idiots in love !

AN : soooo... I'm so sorry for the long delay omg...1 year...but in my defence, I've been caught up with school, and now that I've finished high school, I'll have more free time ! Anyway, I hope you guys will enjoy it !

Chris' pov

Chris was now running down the stadium's aisle, Dan, the security guy trying to keep up with him.

" Mr Evans !! Please slow down"

But Chris had no intention in the world to do so. He had to be fast and to make it to the backstage before the end of the song y/n's was now singing. But as he kept running around these walls, Chris ran into something. Or rather someone. And this someone was not other than y/n's bandmate. The very first cause he was in this situation in the first place. He had a small grin on his face plus eyes reflecting malice and distrust.

"Well, well, well...isn't it Chris Evans or should I say, y/n's ex boyfriend ?"

He chuckled a bit, probably amused by his words but it wasn't the case for Chris : he was pissed and mad, first at this dude but then at himself to think his boyfriend will want anything with this man looking like a cockroach. Chris wasn't a narcissist or full of himself, but at this very moment, he couldn't hide the bright smile on his face as he eyed David from head to toe.

David hasn't missed that as confusion could be read on his face, his sight landing everywhere, but at Chris, he was ashamed, but soon it turned into anger.

"What the fuck are you smiling at lame ass ?? Uh ?? Anyway why the fuck are you here ? Y/n's said he didn't want to see you anymore !"

Chris kept smiling and then out of nowhere burst out laughing as if what he just heard was the funniest thing someone had just said to him. David stood still, unsure of what just happened and how he should react.

The Bostonian man then proceeded to calm down a bit before speaking those words :

" Damn...I was so dumb to- to think my man will be somewhat interested in something like you...I mean look at you ! All desperate and shit... but you forgot something here, little boy"

Chris got closer to him, trying to look somewhat threatening, and he was as David stepped down a bit, looking down.

" Y/n's is mine, and we're in love, so go play somewhere else before I break you in half."

His tone was cold, voice low and body tensed but with a devilish smile on his face. He meant everything he said, and even if he he didn't know if he was capable of breaking off someone's body in half, he sure knew someone who could do it...

David ran away without waiting any further for more threats. He was definitely terrified and good, thought Chris, he didn't want to ever deal with this man ever again. And yes, even if David wasn't 100% to blame about this situation, it still made Chris feel better about himself. He was still a man, after all !

Dan on the other hand was still running toward Chris as they had a pretty gap of distance.

" Fuck...arggg Mr Evans...you're too fast for me...I- I need to-to do exercise more often"

Dan said feeling as if the whole world was about to collapse on him.

"Don't worry Dan, I'll teach you, but now let's head to the backstage shall we ?"

Y/n's POV

Y/n had finished the last song on the first section for today's concert, and after interacting with fans, doing some bad dad jokes and dancing to ABBA's song, it was now time to head backstage for a quick break and a outfit change.

" Okay okay guys, cigarette break !!! I'll be back but I gotta smoke !"

It wasn't actually true, y/n's didn't smoke and he didn't want to, afraid of damaging his vocal chords. But his fans knew the code : time to slut this body up !

He ran towards the backstage, his crew putting thumbs up, saying he did an incredible job and reminding him of his 20-minute pause.

After hydrating correctly, y/n went in the room he changed earlier, his outfit was already on the couch as well as...Chris ???

What was he doing here ?? Y/n thought he left since he didn't see him anymore on the VIP section. He figured he went home and was waiting on Y/n's to come so they could talk but he was NOT expecting this AT ALL.

"Chris..."

It sounded like a whisper, and it was one since the latter only saw his lover's lips moving without any sound coming out.

" Love..."

It was awkward, very awkward, and the singer didn't know how to react ! If he should kiss him or kick him, it was very confusing ! So he stayed in front of the door, still wide open. Anyone passing by would have seen what was happening, but y/n spoke first.

" Chris...i- what are you doing here ??"

Chris got up, slowly moving towards his lover and reach for his hands. And even though y/n's was tensed, he didn't kick him away, a good start !

" There are so many things I need to tell you baby i-"

But before he could finish his sentence, the singer cut him off.

" No ! Let me speak first. You left me. You left me and didn't even bother responding to my messages. More than 500 Chris. And same for the calls, you denied every single one of them. During 5 months, you left me at my worst. I was crying night and day on our bed while you were at your brother's or at clubs. I'm not mad about the words you say to me even though yes they were horrible, because I believe I had once said even more horrible things to you, and you forgave me the next day. No, I'm not mad at that, couple fights it's just a thing ! But for you to leave for 5 months and not even let me know if you're okay or if you think we should break up is some devil's work, Christopher. Imagine you instead of me and tell me how you'll fell uh ? Tell me how you will try to cope with the fact that your boyfriend doesn't want to even talk to you or look at you or -"

Chris's heart broke at every single word his lover was saying. He thought he could get with an apology and a quicky before the times up, but oh dear, he was wrong. Y/n's was angry, sad, but mostly disappointed, and he didn't know what to do. He couldn't just forgive Chris like that as if nothing happened and that it was a simple fight. No ! He couldn't ! But a part of him was telling him to give Chris a 2nd chance, and he wanted that so bad ! He was in love with Chris and even ready to marry him ! But things had changed now, and he wasn't so sure about the whole thing.

" Baby please...i- I know what I did was terrible and I don't even deserve your forgiveness, I was a terrible boyfriend and let my insecurities get the best of us...im so sorry...you don't deserve this, you don't deserve this, you don't deserve this, you don't deserve this-

Y/n's was now worried, Chris was spiraling and kept saying the same thing " you don't deserve this" it was of of the first time of more than a decade knowing Chris that Y/n's saw him like this : vulnerable, weak and ready to finish off.

The singer quickly put him into a tight embrace, leading them on the couch and laying down on it. Chris had his head on y/n's neck, and he was now singing a soft tune in his ear, trying to calm him. An acapela version of La vie en rose was filing the room as Y/n's thrust his hands on Chris' hair, slowly massaging his roots.

Quand il me prend dans ses bras

Il me parle tout bas

Je vois la vie en rose

Il me dit des mots d'amour

Des mots de tous les jours

Et ça m'fait quelque chose

Il est entré dans mon cœur

Une part de bonheur

Dont je connais la cause

This moment right here was the first time y/n has felt this way since 5 months : relaxed and actually happy ! Even though the situation between the two was still confusing and unsolved, by the very first time y/n had pressed his lips on Chris' forehead, he realised that he needed the actor too. He couldn't just pretend as if he didn't want to let him a 2nd chance. Everyone deserves one after all !

His thoughts were cut down but one of his member crew rushing in the room and yelling :

" Y/n 5 MINUTES LE- oh my God...im so sorry, I'll go but make quick you're not even dressed !"

And there she's gone provoking a small chuckle coming out the singer. The latter quickly but safely pushed Chris away from him, covering him with a blanket and kissing him as he was asleep. He then proceed to undress himself but as he was to put on his pants he heard Chris' voice.

" Fuck...I'm missed seeing your body so much..."

And as absurd as it was, y/n blushed and continued to dress up which was easy since the pants was the only piece of fabric of this outfit.

" Okay I gotta go now Chris, we'll talked together after okay ?"

He was ready to go but Chris maintained his hand and pulled him into his arms, cuddling him.

" Never forget that I love you and...thank you for the song"

Chris was shy, and it was adorable to see, but he really needed to go, so he just kissed his hands and ran to his crew, wanting for him to restart the show.

" you're okay y/n ?"

Asked Laura, his 2nd guitarist.

" Perfect, thanks Lau, now let's kill it shall we ?"

~~~~~~~~

AN : OMG I feel the need to express the fact that I wrote this in one go ! Like 💃 OMG ! OK so firstly I wanted to make it pure 100% fluff but then I thought : and where will be the angst then ?! Soo here it is and I'm pretty proud of it ! Hope you guys enjoyed it too !

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

A Strange Sort of Family

hi, resident evil fandom, i'd like to throw my hat in the ring

look, i don't even really go here, the fandom mold just got into my brain and would not fucking leave. this is my first time writing any of these characters so if they feel a bit rocky, please forgive me. my media analysis brain has been spinning nonstop since we started the resident evil brain rot and ho boy would I love to sink my teeth into a proper horror fic but! i don't know if i'm there yet so i figured i'd start a bit easier for me :)

also--we all know there's no way ethan's just gone from the franchise now, right? like, sure, he's dead, but he died like 30 minutes into re7 and that didn't fucking stop him

ALSO also big shoutout to @dragonsareaqueerthing and @greenninjagal-blog for the encouragement to actaully make the words go :) hopefully i'll be spending more time in this fandom now that I've got that ball rolling

Read on Ao3

Warnings: talk about events of shadows of rose dlc, nothing explicit, bullying

Pairings: implied ethan/mia/chris, but Ethan & Rose is the focus

Word Count: 10,919

You'd think after about 16 years of being treated like a child and the most powerful bioweapon the world has ever seen, you might get used to it.

Nope!

Not even slightly.

Sometimes a family is a molded bioweapon, a traumatized agent, a former bioterrorist, and a series of golden, sparkly words. Sometimes family is decorating your room with your mother, sometimes family is hugging a pillow because your dad isn't here anymore. Sometimes family is training too hard and going out for ice cream, sometimes family is a dinner where your parents won't stop teasing you.

Or, five times Ethan Winters was there for his daughter, and one time Rosemary Winters was there for her father.

1.

You'd think after about 16 years of being treated like a child and the most powerful bioweapon the world has ever seen, you might get used to it.

Nope!

Not even slightly.

Okay, well, maybe slightly, but only in the way she's able to shake off some of the lesser things that would've made her really upset before. She's no longer threatening the lives of the agents that call her Eveline, to her face or behind her back when they think she can't hear them. Even when she really, really wants to. Small victories.

But despite her best efforts, she still returns to the cell block of a room—Chris had been so insistent that it wasn't a cell, but it was all concrete walls and a tiny window and a camera that she knows is in the corner—and curls up on her bed, jamming her headphones in and refusing to engage with the outside world until she could summon up the resolve to impersonate a normal person again.

Today had been no exception.

Rose throws her backpack onto her desk chair and slings her hat over the hook, kicking her shoes off and collapsing face-first onto the bed with a groan. More tests today, always more fucking tests. Didn't they have every inch of her shitty, moldy body cataloged by now? She has half a mind to start making shit up when they ask her the same stupid questions. 'How are you feeling today, Rose?' Oh, you know, just getting stuck with more needles than a fucking porcupine, how do you fucking think I'm feeling? Yeah, no, no homicidal instincts yet, just had one murderous thought the other day when I was imagining mold eating the bitch who called me a charity case. Although I did go to the park after I snuck away from that asshole you have tailing me on Tuesdays to see if I could amass a mushroom army, how was your day?

A small laugh leaves her throat at the thought of the doctor's face if she actually did say that, but then she'd probably have two assholes tailing her until they deemed her 'no longer a risk.' God, they were supposed to be these super highly trained agents, then why the fuck do they suck ass at being subtle?

Turns out, even having mold superpowers means she still has to breathe like a normal person, so she drags her face up from the bed and doesn't even bother to fully get up to inchworm up to the pillows. She mashes her face against the slightly cold surface—honestly, the best part about this prison-cell-ass room was that the air conditioning was always on Arctic, so her pillows were always cold—and grabs her phone, squinting at the notifications.

One from school saying her group project deadline was coming up…something from some shopping website she'd logged onto out of pure boredom three weeks ago…and a text from Chris.

Rose sits up a little more and opens the text. "Overseas this week…sorry I'll miss the—you fucking dick!"

Of course Chris is working this weekend, of course he's not gonna be fucking here to take her to the cemetery—great, that means another two hours of bus rides until she can actually go see her dad. She swears he does this on purpose sometimes, how often does he actually need to go overseas for 'work?' And it's not like anyone else here would be able to take her, she's learned her fucking lesson about asking them for anything more than more fucking food. Not bothering to stifle her groan, she flops back onto the bed, only for her phone to clatter out of her hand and onto the floor.

Great. Now she has to move again to pick it up.

She decides that moving is actually not what she's going to do right now, letting one arm hang over the edge of the bed, her cheek scrunched awkwardly against the lip of the mattress. She tucks her face against the collar of her jacket and rubs her thumb against the ring on her finger.

"Sorry it's gonna take me longer," she mumbles, "I really wanted to spend longer with you this time."

Her eyes widen when gold sparkling words appear on the floor next to her phone.

it's okay

"What the—" she whips around to look at the door, closed tightly, and jerks back— "how—"

The words are still there. The words are still etched into the floor, right next to her phone. She should check if they're on the camera—no, they can fucking hack into her phone whenever they want, and she doesn't—she can't—if this really is—

Rose swallows the lump in her throat as the words shift and change.

you ok?

"I—what—how are—" she swallows again, camera in the corner of the room, "uh, M-Michael?"

A pause as the words reform: sure

"I mean, I—I know," she says quickly, "I know what—I know what this is, I…I remember, it's just…"

camera, I know

"How is this possible?" she whispers, not daring to move from her haphazard scramble up the bed, "I thought you were—I mean, at the end, when we, uh, did the thing, it seemed like you were…that you were going again."

The words sparkle again as she grips the sleeve of her jacket—his jacket.

apparently i'm bad at it

"Bad at what?"

staying dead

Another laugh chokes its way out of her throat and she reaches out without thinking about it, just to touch the words. They glow a little bit brighter as she touches them and the tips of her fingers glow. Almost as an afterthought, she grabs her phone and shoves it behind her, hopefully muffling the microphone and at the very least, getting its cameras away from her dad.

Her dad. Those are her dad's words, that's her dad, he's here, he's here.

"Are you—is this…are you really here?"

sort of, as the golden words swirl around, part of you

"What do you mean, 'part of me?'"

not a scientist

"You're the only other m��person like me I know, I'm sure it'll be fine." She can almost hear the little huff of laughter as the golden sparkles swirl again. It seems like it's the same as it was when she was in there, with her dad only able to say a few words at a time.

i'm part of the mold, just like you, we're sharing a part right now

"Are you always sharing a part with me?"

i wish i could, and she feels her chest hurt a little bit, takes energy

"I guess that makes sense." Her arm begins to ache from being so stretched out. "I really miss you."

i miss you too sweetie

Fuck, she's 16, she should not be getting this choked up over her dad calling her 'sweetie,' but fuck it, she's a mold person and her dad's dead, she's allowed to sniffle a little when those words glow warmly under her fingers. Some hysterical part of her wonders if he'd be able to give her a tissue or a hanky the way he gave her guns and chem fluid in there, but she scrubs at her nose with her sleeve and decides that it's enough right now that he's here, in her room, still calling her sweetie.

***

2.

She almost recognizes it the second time, a tug in her gut. Given that she's got her hands over her face and is currently doing a fabulous impression of an angry seal, it'd be harder for her to see it. Still, she can't help the dumb smile on her face when she rolls over.

bad day?

"Oh, you know," she mumbles, "just your average day of being a human guinea pig."

ew

She snorts, clapping a hand over her mouth to muffle it. "You know I get a look at their notes sometimes? That's what they call you, just your initials."

surprised they're still talking about me

"What do you mean? Of course they're still talking about you, you're the—" she cuts herself off. The golden sparkles swirl.

i'm the what?

"Never mind."

The floorboards wait expectantly, but she twists the ring around her finger, chewing on her lip. After another moment, new words appear.

can i help?

"With what? With the tests?"

with you

Another tug in her gut, this time at the fact that she can't actually remember the last time someone asked after her, not their biggest liability or their most dangerous weapon. She props herself up on the cold pillows—thank you, government AC—and sighs. "I'm just really tired."

i bet

"Like—are they bored? What do they get out of sticking me with the same needle fifty different times? And it's not like they talk to me about anything, they just look at each other and then fake-smile at me and they tell me 'you're doing great,' like I'm supposed to know what that means. And the other people aren't any better! They keep trying to train me how to do a thing but they're not—it's not like they tell me why we're doing something or what I'm supposed to be doing instead, they just tell me I'm wrong and that's it."

that sucks

She huffs. "You have no idea."

After a moment, though, she realizes that might not actually be true. From what little she's actually managed to get Chris to tell her, and what she can learn from Mom, they were both held in BSAA's quarantine for ages before they moved over to Romania. And if Mom knew about Dad's…not-aliveness way before he did, then they must've done some sort of tests on him too.

"Can I ask you something?"

anything

"Did they, um, did they test you too?"

The floorboards stay empty for a minute, but it feels more like he's thinking than it does him avoiding the question. Sure enough, after another moment, words start appearing again.

they did, they didn't tell me anything either, just that i was lucky

"Lucky how?"

to have made it, even when i didn't

"You did, though," she mumbles, fiddling with the ring again, "you—this part of you made it. Chris told me, Mom told me. You…even after you were…gone the first time, you…you came back. The important parts of you, they came back."

and i'm grateful for it, for you

"You're gonna make me cry," she mutters, scrunching up a little tighter.

i love you Rosie

"Shut up." It's empty and they both know it. A few extra sparkles swirl around and she could swear he's laughing. "I love you too."

Sunlight streams in through her tiny window and she finds herself looking at the way the leaves on the tree dapple the shadow across the floor. Part of her dad's words are still glowing. She looks at the nightstand, bare except for her charger and alarm clock, then over at the desk where her school stuff is, then at the dresser. She reaches out and touches the metal bedframe. It's cold underneath her fingers.

what's wrong?

"Nothing." The words remain and she sighs. "I'm just being mopey."

you're allowed to mope

"Someone at school said something today," she says before she can think better of it, and she winces at how young she sounds.

bullies?

"Not really, it wasn't even really about me, I just—it's stupid."

if you're upset it's not stupid

"They were just talking about this thing they got for their room, okay?" Embarrassment makes her curl her fingers into the loose fabric of her jacket. "It's this mirror thing that hooks up to your phone and lets you play music and stuff from there. They were just talking about it and I thought—see, I told you it was stupid."

There's another pause. The breeze rustles the leaves outside. The shadows dance over the walls.

do you want it?

"Not really…I don't like mirrors that much anyway. And it's not like they'd let me just have another thing that connects to the Internet in here." She glances at the alarm clock. "I barely got them to let me get a laptop for school stuff. I don't think they've got a 'Mold Bioweapon Allowance' in their budget."

The silence grows thoughtful. She turns her head to look at the floorboards again, watching the few sparkles there swirl around.

it's your room, they say finally, it should feel like it

Rose scoffs. "What am I supposed to do, walk up and ask them to sponsor a shopping trip?"

why not?

"They're not gonna do that. They're just gonna brush me off again or tell me they're busy."

you've tried?

"I told you, I barely managed to get a laptop, which is something I need to be able to do schoolwork or anything, even have a taste of what being normal is like. And even then I had to argue for like, ages, and I had to get one of my teachers to write an email saying that it's necessary." She swats the white pillowcase, bitterness seeping into her words. "Everything else isn't necessary. They're all about practicality, like I'm just some other expense they have to deal with."

what about Chris? or Mom?

"Chris isn't here. He's always off somewhere doing something or he's here glaring at me like I'm some stupid new recruit that he doesn't want to have to train. And Mom's…I don't want to bother her, you know? She's got her own life now."

she's your mom, come the words almost before she's done speaking, she'd want to know

Rose sighs, sitting up to lean against the headboard. She twists the ring around and around her finger, chewing on her lip. "I don't know. Sometimes it feels like she's…like she doesn't want to know."

Another pause. What her dad had said before, about them sharing a part of the mold—she can feel something in her chest. An emotion that isn't quite hers, something like a deep and exasperated sadness. It's faint, not quite enough to put words there, but she can tell when she needs to look back down at the floor.

she does love you, let her

"Okay. I'll try."

thank you

"Would you come shopping with me?" she asks, even when she knows the answer. "If you could?"

The room gets a little happier as the sparkles swirl around.

i'd spend all day with you

"What did you want to have in your room? When you were my age?"

telescope

"A telescope?" She laughs. "Did you want to be an astronaut?"

astronaut ew

She laughs again and the sunlight seems a little brighter.

***

3.

She meets Mom at a coffee shop near the big bookstore downtown. She's not wearing Dad's jacket—it still feels weird to do, even after Mom's said it's fine—but she has his ring on a necklace under her shirt. Mom waves her over to a table in the corner, nodding to the smoothie already waiting.

"Pineapple mango," she says as Rose sits down, "your favorite."

"Thanks, Mom." She takes a big drink, savoring the weird feeling the pineapple leaves on her tongue. "How're you?"

"I'm okay. Work's been getting busy again recently with the month's end rush." Mom swirls her straw around her coffee. "Did I tell you about this new thing our boss is trying to make us do?"

"No, what?"

"Apparently some young CEO in the area made it big on corporate social media about 'team building exercises,'" and Rose is already groaning in sympathy, "so he sent out this survey this past week about what activity we'd rather do."

"What were the options?"

"This group painting class thing, where we all paint the same picture—"

"Like in kindergarten?"

"Like in kindergarten," Mom agrees, "there's a bar-arcade place that's just opened up on the West Side that does private events, and then there's a good old-fashioned work dinner."

Rose makes a face. "That's it? No, like, crazy obstacle courses, or escape rooms, or anything?"

"We barely had the budget for the normal year-end stuff."

"So what did you vote for?"

"I ended up voting for the painting, actually—"

"What? Mom, that's so lame."

"Hey!" She jokingly flicks a napkin at Rose. "Lamer than the most awkward dinner you can imagine or sitting and drinking for a whole evening?"

"Isn't that what adults do? You sit and drink and talk?"

Mom sighs, shaking her head as they both laugh. "Yeah, well, I figured it might be better if we tried to do something that wasn't just sitting and drinking."

"I guess."

"Besides, I'm still missing something for the bathroom upstairs. Maybe I'll hang up whatever I manage to make there," she adds, winking at Rose.

It's supposed to be a joke at how bad at art she is—really, even Chris looked at her stick figures and struggled to find something nice to say, and Mom just laughed it off—but Rose's smile fades and she shuffles a little in the chair. She drinks more of her smoothie. Dad's words turn over and over in her head.

"Hey, Mom?"

"Mm?"

"Would you…" She fights the urge to reach for the ring. "Would you help me decorate my room?"

Mom's brow furrows. "At my house?"

"N-no, my…my room at the compound. It's stupid, never mind."

"It's not stupid, Rose," Mom says, picking up her coffee, "I'm just—I guess I'm just surprised. Most teens don't really want their parents anywhere near their rooms."

"Yeah, well, forget it."

A car drives by. Despite herself, she reaches for the ring anyway. Something warm pulses in her chest.

"It's just," she manages, "I don't really have anything in there. It's just the military stuff."

Mom's coffee cup hits the table with a thud. "What do you mean you don't have anything in there?"

"I mean, there's just a dresser, a desk, and a bed. And my little side table thing. They didn't really give me any—"

"How much time do you have?"

Rose blinks. "Huh?"

"How much time before you have to get back?" Mom's already getting up and putting the lid back on her coffee. "We're not that far from the big stores and I have my car."

"I, uh, I think I have a few hours, so—" she scrambles up too, reaching to grab Mom's arm— "wait, you're really okay with doing this?"

Mom pauses for a moment, then reaches out and covers Rose's hand with hers. "You're my daughter, Rosie, I'd love to help you decorate your room."

A lump appears in her throat and she swallows it down. "Thank you."

"Come on," Mom grins, "what are you thinking you want?"

"Uh, I was thinking maybe like a whiteboard? That way I could write down stuff that I might forget? Or like—a magnetic one so I could stick stuff to it?" She gets into Mom's car and they start driving. "Or a corkboard—I've seen a lot of people pin like, pictures and stuff to a corkboard on their walls."

"What if you get both? A corkboard to put pictures and cute stuff and then a whiteboard to write on?"

"I also want a lamp. The normal lights just make my head hurt. And they buzz, you know?"

"Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about. It's like the world's most annoying crickets, isn't it?"

"And there's no, like, in between! It's either no light at all or—"

"Or my eyes are being scorched out, that's right."

They pull into the parking lot of the store and get out, still bouncing ideas back and forth. Mom grabs a cart and they head straight for the stationary section and they spend about five minutes talking about the different corkboards and whiteboards. Then Rose decides she wants magnets so she can stick stuff to the whiteboard, then Mom spots a cute set of push pins, and then another mom and daughter walk by with one of those fancy photo printers that print out pictures from your phone like Polaroids, and they just have to get Rose one of those.

As they pick out lamps and wall decor and sheets that actually have some color, she's struck by how normal this is. She's with her mom. They're shopping for stuff for her room. They're freaking out over the pillows that have little penguins on them. She's actually smiling and laughing and she's excited. She can't wait to get back and put all this stuff in her room.

She just…wishes Dad could be here too.

"I think I'd prefer the yellow lampshade, but it's up to you." Mom looks up from the shelf to notice she's gone quiet. "Hey, what's going on?"

"Nothing, nothing," she says quickly, wiping surreptitiously at her face, "…just…I kinda wish Dad was here too."

Mom's fingers stutter on the box and for a moment, she thinks she's going to see those walls go up again, the ones that always go up when she tries to talk about Dad, but then Mom puts the box down and rubs at her wedding ring. She still wears it sometimes. Rose reaches for Dad's, under her shirt.

"I wish he was here too, Rosie," Mom says quietly, "he'd be so proud of you."

Rose swallows, and her eyes catch on a tiny monkey LED lamp further down the shelf. She picks it up. "I think he'd vote for this one, don't you?"

A hint of fond exasperation comes to Mom's face. "God, did I ever tell you what happened when he found out that you loved that little monkey you got when you were still a baby? He tried to buy everything monkey-themed he could find because he thought you might like it."

"Wait, really?"

"I had to get Chris to help me talk him out of buying an entire monkey crib for you."

Rose puts the monkey lamp in the cart. Mom smiles and they keep walking. They end up spending way more than she thought they'd be and sheepishly tries to put some stuff back, but Mom won't hear a word of it and bags everything up.

"Chris can help cover the cost if he's so worried about it," she declares as they pull back up to the meeting spot where the car is supposed to take Rose back to the compound, "anyway, all of this should have been done years ago."

"Thanks, Mom," Rose says, "I had fun."

"We should definitely do it again. I'll help you decorate your college dorm too."

Rose smiles and gets out of the car. It fades a bit when she sees Paul again, leaning against the side of the van with his arms crossed. She turns her back deliberately on him and goes to help Mom get all the bags out of the trunk.

"You're late," Paul says, like he has any right to sound like a smug, condescending asshole.

"By like five minutes. Open the trunk."

"What's all that?"

"Stuff. For my room."

"Well, I—hey!" Paul finally moves when Mom just opens the trunk and starts putting the bags inside.

"You must be the agent Rose told me about," Mom says, her voice saccharine as she dusts off her hands, "is that right, honey?"

"Yeah," she mumbles, "that's him."

"Paul," he says, "Ms. Winters."

"Mia." Mom holds out her hand and he takes it, Rose peering at them from under the brim of her hat. Her eyes widen when Mom yanks Paul closer to her, her smile fading as she hisses in his ear. "Call my daughter Eveline again and I'll break your nose, are we clear?"

Paul jerks in surprise, before turning his head slightly. "Stand down, it's fine, I can handle it."

"You can't afford to make a scene in such a public place," Mom says, her voice still perfectly even, "and Chris won't risk harming me or Rose. So you can start treating my daughter like a person or I can break your nose right now and Chris can clean up your mess."

Rose can't stop her snort as Paul sheepishly walks back to the front of the car and gets in. Mom watches him go before she turns around and says, loud enough for him to hear, "Make sure you send me pictures when you get it the way you want it, okay?"

"I will."

"And if you decide you want anything else, we'll get it next time."

"Thanks, Mom. I love you."

"I love you too, Rosie." She glares once more in Paul's direction before she walks back to her car.

Rose doesn't stop smirking as Paul drives them back to the compound. He slinks off with his tail between his legs after helping her get all her stuff into her room. She can't cover up the camera—and let them know she knows about it—but she can play her music out loud as she decorates, hanging up the little plants they found and pinning a few photos to her new corkboard. It still strikes her how normal all of this is, dancing to her music and putting up all of her new things, finally collapsing onto her now-colorful blankets with a laugh.

She texts a few photos to Mom, who responds with gushing reviews and excited emojis, before she rolls onto her side to look at the floor.

"What do you think?"

The words only take a second to appear.

it's beautiful, sweetie

"You were right," she murmurs, "it was really nice to let Mom take care of me a bit."

i'm glad

"Oh! I forgot to show you the best part!" Rose jumps off the bed and goes over to the far wall, switching on the fairy lights she hung from the ceiling amidst a bunch of fake vines. "Now the camera will just think the glowing is from the lights!"

Golden sparkles swirl beneath the soft glow.

you're so smart

"I mean," she blusters, trying not to show how pleased she is, "I was just tired of lying down to talk to you all the time."

i see, still clever

"Thanks." After a moment, she reaches over and picks up the little monkey lamp and her stuffed monkey, safely hidden beneath her pillows. "Mom told me you wanted to buy a monkey crib for me."

it would go with the onesie

"You got me a monkey onesie?"

mom has pictures

"I'll have to ask her next time." She chews on her lip, running her fingers over the seams of the monkey's ear. "I wish you could've been there."

me too

"Mom threatened to break Paul's nose if he was rude to me again." The light swirls as Dad laughs and she laughs too. "I'd kick him in the nuts too."

that's my girl

***

4.

"Stupid fucking dickhead," she spits as she slams the door, throwing her backpack onto the chair so hard it scrapes across the floor. "Fucking asshole! I'll fucking rip his head off, the fucking bastard!"

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees a tiny sparkle from the floorboards, and she stomps over to the lights, turning them on. Almost immediately, golden words swirl up.

what happened?

"Your buddy Chris fucking happened!" Rose throws herself onto the bed and punches the pillow. "He keeps treating me like I'm some—some fucking gun that only he knows how to fire and I'm fucking sick of it!"

It had been especially bad today, too. Chris apparently woke up and decided yeah, today's the day I'm gonna be a total fucking asshole for no goddamn reason. He started them out sparring, which he never does, he always has them warm up first because it's important not to strain yourself, except apparently not today when she was thrown against the fucking ground three times before she could even open her mouth long enough to say hi.

Or maybe ask what the hell crawled up his ass that morning.

And then he kept fucking looking at her like he was disappointed! Like it was her fault she wasn't expecting to be slammed up against the wall or pinned to the ground by a man fucking three times her size and then grunted at when she winced in pain because that fucking hurt, you asshole! And he kept on saying these stupid little comments that just made her angrier and angrier and then he had the gall to be like hey, you need to get a handle on your emotions like he wasn't pushing every single fucking button he knew she had!

You need to be sharper, he'd said like he had any right to try and be reasonable as he almost dislocated her fucking shoulder, emotions make you sloppy.

Yeah, well, he could try being sharper when he was being bullied for no fucking reason.

And when she'd finally screamed at him that she was done, that she didn't want to fucking do this anymore, he had the fucking audacity, the nerve to scoff and cross his arms and tell her that no, she wasn't done, she was only done when he said she was done. And yeah, she hadn't really made the decision to rush at him after that, her body did that on its own, but he literally just tossed her aside like a fucking doll and then said she wasn't leaving until she could do the fucking stupid thing he wanted her to.

She tried. She really fucking did.

But she couldn't do it.

And Chris kept refusing to help, saying he'd been training her for so long already, that he'd wash her out if she were any other recruit—to which she'd screamed that she wasn't, so why the fuck was he being like this? And he didn't fucking answer! He just told her to try it again and he kept making her angrier and angrier and she could tell Chris was getting angry too which just made hers worse because what fucking right did he have to be mad at her? What the fuck did she do to him?

It ended really badly. She'd gotten so mad she'd thrown herself at him again, not caring about proper technique or what was smart or anything, she just went for him. He grappled her, obviously, and that was supposed to be their tap-out, fight's-over thing, but she hadn't stopped. She'd scratched him and punched him and kicked him even when he growled at her to yield, and when that didn't work, she'd bit him.

Chris fucking wrenched her off of him and threw her across the room and she heard three guns click.

They'd glared at each other, Chris holding his arm like it was a fucking biohazard, and then he'd stalked off without a word while agents forcibly shoved her back to her room.

She's panting by the time she finishes, glaring a hole in the wall right below where the words normally appear. Her hands still tingle from where she'd hit the walls and the pillows. She looks up when she sees the familiar swirl.

you shouldn't have bitten him

The anger surges up her arms and she clenches her fists. "That's all you have to say? No 'I'm sorry he was such a dick, Rose?' 'You didn't deserve that?' You're fucking defending him?"

i didn't say that

"I just told you that your friend, the person you told to watch over me and keep me safe was fucking bullying me for no goddamn reason and the only thing you can say is that I shouldn't have defended myself?" Betrayal steeps vehemence into her words. Her nails bite into her palms. "I'm fucking glad I bit him!"

he's trying to help

"How in the fuck is he trying to help," she cries, "by being as bad as the bullies in school? By treating me like a freak that needs to be kept muzzled and on a leash?"

you did bite him

She picks up one of the pillows and hurls it at the wall. It hits with a pathetic thwap and falls limply to the floor. It only makes her angrier when she sees the words calm down when the lights stop shaking.

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down! You're supposed to be on my side!"

i am

She barks out a humorless laugh and picks up the pillow, throwing it back on the bed. "You're not on my side, you're on his. I don't need you lecturing me too. Just leave me alone."

More golden words swirl as she turns away, throwing herself onto the bed and curling up tightly around her stuffed monkey. She chokes around the lump in her throat and wills herself not to cry. She'd almost cried in front of Chris today already, she won't give either of them the satisfaction of seeing her cry now. She won't, she won't, she won't! It's not fucking fair that Chris did that. It's not fucking fair that he gets to act however the fuck he wants and then she's the only one punished for it. He gets to go all over the fucking world and only see her when it's convenient to him and he gets to be an asshole about it.

Dad's not even alive.

A sob chokes out before she can stop it, and then it's too late. She's blubbering like she's a stupid fucking baby again and she can hear the echoes of their voices in her ears. All alone, poor freak Rose, crying like a baby who doesn't get her way. She's so weird, she's so stupid, she can't do it. She's useless, she's not strong enough. Just go away. No one wants you here. No one wants you. No matter how hard she presses her hands to her ears, they won't fucking shut up!

Maybe she should've fucking kept the purifying crystal. Maybe she should've left with no powers and had a normal fucking life. Maybe she should've just left her dad to—

As soon as the thought threatens to cross her mind, she recoils from it. Guilt and anger war in her gut as she nearly grows sick. How could she fucking think that? After all he'd done to save her, protect her, how could she think about something like that, even if it was in a fit of rage?

A strangled noise escapes her throat and the bruises and injuries from her humiliating 'sparring session' abruptly make themselves known. Her body screams in pain; her shoulders ache, the bruise on her ribs throbs, and her jaw feels like it's about to explode. She has the hysterical impulse to bite herself and she wonders if it would hurt more than everything else. Out of the corner of her eye, she glimpses a glow coming from the floorboards now and she curls up tighter, burying her face in the monkey's tummy. Fuck it, she's been called overly emotional and childish enough times already, she may as well throw her tantrum properly.

It's like falling into the Megamycete again; she has no idea how long she lies there, wallowing in her own emotional turmoil. Flashes of the bullies, of Chris's stupid fucking face, of watching herself get tossed around and left behind…even stranger things like massive castles filled with screams and horror, creepy old houses that just feel like tombs, deep water and clanking metal, all filled with whispers of freak, dangerous, stupid child, not good enough. Everything is too loud and too quiet and she just wants it to be over.

When she finally manages to rouse herself from whatever malaise she'd fallen into, the sun has long set. Her clock shows that it's close to 10—that would explain why her stomach is trying to dig a hole in her intestines. The anger fled unknown hours ago, leaving her weary and wrung out. In its absence, she no longer feels like the bioweapon that she's supposed to be, only the scared and lonely child. It's cold. She's hungry.

There's still a soft golden glow coming from over the side of the bed.

Her lip wobbles. She doesn't want to face the consequences of yelling at her dad and throwing a pillow at him, but she can't stop the blooming warmth that he didn't leave. She crawls to the edge of the bed and peeks over.

i'm sorry Rose

She sniffles and rubs her cheek on the sheets. "'M sorry too."

you were right, i should've been on your side

"You're always on my side," she mumbles, "I know you are."

still

She sniffles again and tucks the monkey under her chin. "Why was Chris so mean today? Did I do something wrong?"

i don't think so, sometimes he's just like that

"Why?" She's ignoring how much she sounds like a baby, thank you. "It's not fair."

no it's not sweetie

Rose closes her eyes, basking in the soft glow of her dad's comfort. "Was he ever mean to you when you were training?"

yeah

"What did you do?"

broke his nose once

It startles a laugh out of her. "You what? Wait, what happened?"

he was being an asshole, so i punched him

She giggles again, both at the image of Chris's surprised face with a broken nose and at the fact that her dad got so angry with Chris that he punched him hard enough. A few more golden sparkles surround the words before they change again.

you shouldn't try it though

"Aw," she complains, mostly for show, "but you did it."

do as i say not as i do

She's quiet. After a moment, she lets her arm hang down to touch the words again. They glow gently. "I don't like fighting with you."

me neither

"I'm sorry. I was being a brat."

The words swirl up quicker than she's ever seen.

you were upset at something unfair, not a being a brat

She sniffles again, reaching over to grab a hanky and blow her nose with a sharp honk. She throws it over to the laundry basket and lies back down. The words have changed.

if you need to hear it, i forgive you

"I forgive you too."

rest

She nestles up against the pillows. "Will you stay until I go to sleep?"

of course sweetie, i love you

***

5.

Mostly Rose doesn't dream. She'll close her eyes and open them again and it will be hours later and it's time to get up. Most of the time when she does dream, it's weird half-memories that aren't hers mixed with something she does actually remember. She has dreams of a house with a red chimney being taken apart by little robotic goats, or of a crocodile swimming through a swamp filled with dead crows, or of bugs crawling over test tubes and dirty flasks. Some of them make sense when she digs into the files she's not really supposed to have access to, some of them don't.

On rare, awful occasions, she has nightmares.

She's been curled up and unmoving for who knows how long, desperately trying to feign sleep. The mold in her keeps prickling like there's something else in the room, watching her, just waiting for a sign that she's awake to pounce. Her white-knuckled grip hasn't wavered either. She dares hardly breathe; even though her rational brain knows there's nothing there, there can't be anything there, her entire body is screaming. She can feel the milky sweat beginning to ooze from her palms.

Something creaks.

She goes stiff as a board.

A creak, a groan, a rumble as the air conditioning turns on and she forces herself to relax, cracking open one eye to see that yes, this is just her room, there's nothing to be afraid of here, she's fine.

Her eyes land on the switch to the fairy lights.

The small and whimpering part of her lunges for them, for the warm glow of the light, her dad's words, in lieu of running to her parents' bed to be comforted. The other part hisses that the second she moves, whatever's lurking in the dark will strike. The monkey wheezes as she tightens her grip, staring at the innocuous plastic box hanging against the wall.

With a sudden burst, she launches herself from the bed, slapping the button, and curling back up beneath the safety of the blankets.

Immediately, the soft warm light chases away the worst of the shadows and she can peek over her shoulder to assure herself that yes, nothing is there, she's safe in her room, everything's okay. Golden sparkles are already swirling, a quiet inquisitiveness filling that one empty part in her chest as she lies back down. He's rotated his words so she can read them easily.

what's the matter, sweetie?

"Nightmare," she whispers, more into her pillow than anything else.

i'm sorry

She curls up tighter, trying to pull the blankets up almost over her head. The sweat's almost ruined her monkey—she's going to have to wash it again—and she wipes her hands on the sheet. The absence of it hits the cold air and she shivers, hunching tighter in the covers and sniffling. A sudden and sharp ache sears through her chest and she shudders, harder this time, only the top of her nose peeking out over the comforter. She's so cold. Not in the way where she can pile more blankets on and it'll go away—she could put the whole world on top of her and she would still be cold. This horrible, achy, exhausting cold that seeps into her bones and makes her want to cry.

what can i do?

"You said in your—in your letter," she hiccups, "that you'd hold me when I had nightmares, and—and sing to me until I went back to sleep."

But the words on her wall are just words and words can't hold anybody.

She wants a fucking hug, goddamnit. No one touches her anymore, not unless they're running some stupid test, or sparring, or escorting her roughly down the hallway like some—some prisoner. The last time someone touched her and it wasn't that it was Mom, telling her she'd help decorate her room and that was so long ago, everyone else just—just—

"I want to go home," she sobs and it lands like a dead weight in the still room.

what do you mean?

"I want to go home, I want to go back to that house you showed—showed me when I was in there, where you—where your memories are and I can actually h-hear you and it's warm an'—an' safe, and you love me," she cries, not caring that it's the middle of the night and she's talking to a wall, "no one here loves me. No one loves me, the doctors think I'm some—some experiment that's run too—too long and the agents all think I'm a l-liability and Mom's not here because she gave me up and Chris h-hates me."

he doesn't hate you sweetie

"He does! He does, he does, I can feel it." She hugs her monkey tightly to her chest. "He h-hates me for being the reason you're not—you're not here anymore and he hates me for reminding him that you're dead and he hates me for—for being like this and—and—and—!"

shh…shh…shh…

But he's not here and she can't hear him shushing her and she's all alone in her cold, dark room and she wants to go home.

don't cry, Rosie, it's gonna be okay sweetie

"It's not. 'S not okay."

The wall doesn't move for a moment, then it swirls again.

scoot back, i'm going to try something

Frowning, she does, shuffling awkwardly back until she's on the far side of the bed. The golden light swirls around for another second, before it writes itself on one of the pillows.

hug me

"D—Michael?"

i'm right here sweetie, i love you so much

With trembling fingers, she reaches for the pillow, touching the words with a soft gasp as they glow warmly against her still-slick palms. A sob of disbelief leaves her throat and she bundles it to her chest, burying her face in it. A soft scratching and buzzing fills her ears as more words write themselves across the pillow, but she doesn't pull her face away to read them. Not when this is the closest thing to hugging her dad she's been since she was in the deepest stratum of the Megamycete, crying over his dying body. Not when she's still so cold and the words are so, so warm. She tucks her face into the crook of the pillow's embrace and she cries.

The words don't stop writing themselves over and over and if she focuses hard enough, it almost sounds like her dad is humming.

She falls into a light sleep, not willing to miss a moment of actually being so close to her dad, soothed by his presence. Soon, light has begun to break through the window, the auto timer on the lights long since activated to switch them off. The pillow is all gross from a mixture of drool, snot, and tears, and she sheepishly tries to wipe it away when a small glow comes from underneath.

it's okay

"It's kinda gross."

my privilege, i'm your dad

"Still."

ew, remember?

A watery smile. "Thanks."

i love you so much, i'm so proud of you

"I love you too," she mumbles back, curling her arms around the pillow. Another set of words writes itself and she leans back.

do you really think Chris hates you?

"I don't know. He…he looks at me like he can't sometimes. Or like he's waiting for me to…I don't know, turn crazy or bad or like he's waiting for me to turn into you, almost." She rubs her fingers over the pillowcase. "He used to be nicer."

have you spoken since?

She doesn't need to ask what he's talking about. "No. He's been out of town again. He's supposed to be back, um…"

She leans over to check her phone, eyes widening when she sees the date.

"Uh, today. Shit, I actually think we're supposed to have a training thing today."

Before more words can write themselves, there's a knock on her door. She freezes, phone still in her hand, pillow clutched close.

"Rose?" Fuck. "It's Chris. Can I come in?"

be brave, says the last flutter of words before her dad vanishes, i love you

"…yeah."

Chris opens the door. Rose tugs on her dad's jacket over her pajamas and clutches the pillow in her lap. She doesn't look at him. He moves around a little in the doorway before he shuts it with a click. After a moment, the bed dips and groans under his weight and she sneaks a glance at his arm. Her bite mark is still there.

"Surprised they let you walk around before that healed."

"You didn't even break the skin."

It's probably meant to come off in a way that means she doesn't have to worry about it, but it stings anyway. She turns away again.

A car drives by outside.

"I owe you an apology," Chris says finally, his voice low and gruff, "I shouldn't have been so harsh. I'm sorry."

She doesn't reply, but she shifts to face the window instead of the wall.

"There's been talk of getting you moved to another squad," he continues, and her stomach drops—is Chris leaving too?— "and I thought…if I could prove that you were good with us, that we had it all under control, then they'd drop it. Leave you alone."

At the rustle as he shifts, she glances over at him. His jaw works and his hand twitches on his knee.

"I thought…" He trails off, then scoffs at himself, shaking his head. "I don't know what I thought."

He turns to meet her gaze and her gut clenches at the obvious guilt and remorse she can see there. She swallows.

"You were mean." Her voice comes out a lot smaller than she'd hoped. She swallows and tries again. "I thought you hated me."

"I don't hate you, Rose," he says in a rush, turning to face her, "please don't think that."

"So you're not trying to get rid of me?"

"Shit, Rose, no, I'm not trying to get rid of you. You're—I think Mia'd kill me if I tried, no, I'm just—" he takes a breath— "I'm just trying to keep you safe, okay?"

"Then you should've said something! I would've trained harder if I knew—we could've—I would've done something else, did I do something wrong?"

"No," he insists, shaking his head, "no, you didn't do anything wrong."

Relief begins to pool warily in her chest. Her grip on the pillow loosens and she scoots a little closer. "I'm sorry I bit you."

He shakes his head again. "It's fine. You, uh, you have good bite strength."

"Good bite strength?"

"Yeah. Your contact's really good." He gestures to the bite mark on his arm. "Got all of them in there too."

"Thanks," she says, laughing a little. Chris smiles and it's a bit easier to breathe. She gives herself a shake. "So, what's today? Weapons, sparring, how to punch boulders?"

"Actually, I, uh, thought we'd go get ice cream."

Rose pauses, looking up at him, blinking as if she'd heard wrong. "Ice cream?"

"Weather's gonna get cold soon, the good place around the corner's gonna close." He shrugs. "Been craving it."

"Yeah…yeah, ice cream sounds good."

"Great."

And before she can think too much of it, she throws herself at him and hugs him for all she's worth. She feels him stutter, not quite sure what to do, and then his arms slowly wrap around her, holding her just as tightly. And oh, she's on fire, Chris is big and warm and solid and he's holding her like she's something special and she's gonna fucking cry her eyes out if she stays here a moment longer and she's gonna die if she lets go. Chris lets out a noise of dismay when she sniffles and scoops her up, like she's a little kid again, holding her in his lap and now she's making a mess of his shoulder too.

She could swear she feels Dad smile.

***

+1.

"I'm telling you," Rose says as she lounges on her bed, "you're wrong about the cover. It's actually pretty good."

i like the classics

"Yeah, well, you're old and boring, so that makes sense."

:(

The sight of the old-fashioned emoticon frowny face makes her burst out laughing. "Oh my god, that's so lame. I don't think I've seen someone use that in years."

it's a classic!

"You gotta get with the times!"

totes dope fam

Rose winces at the immense amount of psychic damage those three words dealt, her neck protesting as she almost cringes it out of alignment. "No, D—Michael, just no."

lol

She tosses the pillow playfully at the wall again, laughing when another frowny face appears on both it and the wall. "Aww, okay, I'm sorry, here."

She picks it up and cuddles it and the frowny face turns to a smiley face. Lying back down, grin still on her face, she toys with his ring. It's gotten shinier from all the rubbing, except where she ties the cord around it so she can wear it as a necklace. She turns it this way and that, watching the sunlight glint off of it. As she does, she catches sight of the engraving on the inside.

Always and forever.

"Do you want me to tell Mom and Chris about you?"

The words swirl for a moment.

up to you

She pushes herself to sit up, propped on one elbow. The ring glistens as she slides it back onto her finger, turning it to and fro. "I don't know. It feels bad keeping something like this from them, but I want to be selfish about it too, you know? I kind of like having you all to myself."

it's not selfish

"And what if Chris thinks it's bad?" She twists the ring harder. "What if he tries to take you away from me?"

i won't let that happen

Her shoulders drop a little and she picks up the pillow again, cuddling into it. A few words write themselves across it just so she can feel their warmth and she rubs her cheek against it. "Don't you miss them?"

all the time

A melancholy that isn't hers hangs in her chest and she squeezes the pillow again. "Then should I? They miss you too, you know. I think they'd be happy to, you know, hear from you again."

The words fade and the wall glows again as he thinks. She lets him have his time, rubbing the ring back and forth, listening to the slight rattle it makes as it spins around her too-small finger. When she hears the familiar soft scratch again, she looks up.

they're happy now, i don't want to ruin that

"They're not happy," she can't help but say, "they still miss you."

content, then

"You wouldn't be ruining anything," she argues, "I thought—I thought I'd never get to see you again after I got out of there. The day I heard you again? That was the happiest moment of my life."

mine too sweetie, or my un-life i guess

The words glow brighter as her fingertips glow too. She gets up and lays her hand against the wall, smiling as their powers dance together. "I really think they'd be happy."

A pulse of warmth runs up her arm to her chest as the words shift once more.

when you think the time is right

"I'll tell you, I promise."

i'm so proud of you, Rose, i love you so much

"I love you too."

That time doesn't come on their terms, though, because that would be easy. No, instead it's when she and Chris are over at Mom's house for dinner and Chris asks a question out of nowhere that almost makes her spit all over the table.

"What?" Mom asks as Rose glares a hole in Chris's stupid forehead.

"I said," Chris says like an unrepentant asshole, "who's Michael?"

"Michael?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Rose mutters, staring down at her lap.

"I was coming to get you for training last week and you were talking to someone called Michael." Chris takes a bite of steak and talks with his mouth full, like an asshole. "So who is he?"

Mom elbows her, winking. "Someone you like?"

"What? Ew, gross, no!"

Chris and Mom just laugh and Mom elbows her again. "Don't worry, I was your age once too. That's how I reacted when my mom asked me about my crush."

"Michael isn't my crush!"

"Boyfriend, then?"

"No, he's not my—" she covers her face and sighs. "He's not my boyfriend, he's not my crush, he's not someone from school, happy?"

"So who is he?"

Well, fuck it, no time like the present. She pushes back from the table, muttering about using the bathroom. They wait until she's halfway up the stairs to start talking again, their voices low in that way where she knows they're still talking about her, but she pays them no mind as she goes into the bathroom and shuts the door. She braces her hands on either side of the sink and takes a deep breath.

"I'm guessing you heard all that."

The words swirl up right below the mirror.

yeah

"I mean, it's not like we'll get a better opportunity."

probably not

"Are you ready?"

are you?

She rubs at the chip in the linoleum and turns on the cold water, just to make sure there's no milky sweat on her hands. "I'm nervous."

me too

"No matter what happens," she says firmly, "no matter what they do or say, I'm here for you, okay? I've got your back. I love you."

i'm so proud of you, sweetie, i love you too

The words glow cheerfully against the weird tile pattern and she reaches out to touch them. They share a moment before the words fade and she takes a deep breath, squaring her shoulders in the mirror and nodding to herself. "Right. Let's do this."

She marches back downstairs and Mom and Chris do a horrible job of pretending not to be nosy and expectant. She sits back down and folds her hands in her lap.

"I'll tell you who Michael is," she begins, "but you have to promise not to tell anyone else."

"I promise, honey," Mom says, miming zipping her lips shut.

"Chris, you promise too."

Chris looks at her for a moment like he's going to disagree, then he winces as Mom kicks him under the table. "I promise too."

"Good." She takes another breath and reaches for the ring around her neck. The second she brings it out from under her shirt, Chris's silverware clatters against the plate and Mom inhales sharply.

"Rose," she says shakily, "where did you get that?"

"Before I said yes to joining you," Rose says, "I met K outside the lab. He told me there might be a way to get rid of my powers for good."

Chris frowns. "K never said anything like that to me, what do you—"

"I'm getting there. He took me to the lab where there was a piece of the Megamycete, and said that—"

"He what?"

"Will you both just listen to me?" The two of them quiet down. "Thank you. So, like I was saying, he took me to see the piece of it and said that there was a purifying crystal that Miranda discovered that could take the mold out of someone. All I had to do was look through the Megamycete's index of consciousness to see if I could find it."

"That's incredibly dangerous, Rose," Mom says quietly, and Chris looks like he's trying to strangle his fork. "Please tell me you didn't—"

"I wanted them gone," she interrupts, looking at her Mom, "they were—I was just a freak with no friends. Someone offered me the chance to be normal, are you telling me you wouldn't have done the same thing if you were a teenager?"

Mom looks at her for a long moment, but she doesn't disagree. Rose squeezes the ring and keeps going.

"It wasn't that easy, obviously. It was…really hard. And really scary. I had to fight my way through these, like, twisted versions of the places in Miranda's village, like that big castle and the creepy doll house, and there were all these versions of me that kept getting killed and tortured, I fought a version of Eveline too—"

"Rose," Chris tries to say but she doesn't let him.

"—but I had help," she continues. "There was something helping me. It helped me figure out where to go, what to do, gave me a gun and taught me how to use it. There were these glowing words that would appear when I needed them most and it…it was like having a guardian angel."

"Michael," Chris says, and she nods.

"Yeah, I called him Michael. He—he kept trying to get me to leave, said that it wasn't safe, but I wanted to find the crystal and so he helped me. And then we found out K wasn't actually K and it was all a trap set by Miranda—"

"It was what?"

Chris is already getting up. "Is she still in there? Do we need to—"

"Sit down, Chris, it's fine, we beat her. She's dead now, like, really, actually dead. She crystalized and turned to dust, I saw it."

His face still looks like he ate a lemon, but Chris sits slowly back down. He exchanges a worried look with Mom and she puts her hand on Rose's shoulder. "You said 'we?'"

"Me and Michael." She looks down at the ring and turns it over in her hand. "Until I found out who he really was."

Mom gasps, a small and shuddery thing. She holds her hand over her mouth and stares at Rose. "Ethan."

Chris makes a noise too as Rose nods. "Yeah. It was him the whole time. He…he protected me. From Miranda, from Eveline, from everything."

"He loved you so much, honey," Mom whispers, her eyes growing wet, "he never stopped loving you."

"He showed me our house in Romania," and to her horror, she can feel her voice growing thick too, "with all his memories. I heard his voice, Mom, he—he wrote me a letter, did you know?"

"Yes," Mom says, trying not to sob, clutching her shoulder, "yeah, honey, I know. He cried so much while he was writing it, he wanted you to get old enough to read it with him, oh, Rose…"

She swipes a hand under her nose and turns to Chris, who's doing that big, tough, I'm-too-manly-for-my-emotions-right-now thing and reaches for him too. After a moment, his hand turns and covers hers. He's trembling. "He taught me how to fight, Chris. We—we fought together. He shot the monsters in the face with a shotgun and gave me his power so I could kill Miranda, once and for all."

Chris swallows heavily. "Your dad was…he was one of the best men I've ever known, Rosie. He would be so proud of you." He sniffs. "You said he shot them in the face with a shotgun?"

"Mhm."

"Yeah, that sounds like Ethan, alright." Mom laughs and it sort of sounds like a sob but she and Chris are smiling now, so it's okay. Chris looks back at her and nods a few times. "So you were talking to him, then?"

"Yeah. When you walked by on Tuesday, I think it was…yeah, we were arguing about whether the original Blade Runner was better than 2049." She wrinkles her nose. "He said the original was better but I like the remake."

Chris frowns. "What do you mean, he said—"

The words scrawl over Mom's dining table, illuminating their faces.

i like the classics, that's all

Rose would laugh at the way Chris almost falls out of his chair if his hand and Mom's weren't trembling. She looks at Mom, who stares at the glowing words, and at Chris, who looks like he's about to be sick.

Mom breaks the silence first. "…Ethan?"

The words move, now right next to her forgotten plate.

hi honey

"You're—you're—"

bad at staying dead?

Mom's breath leaves her like she's been punched in the gut. "Oh, Ethan, I—I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry—"

breathe, it's okay

She squeezes Mom's hand as she takes a few shaky breaths. "What—how is this possible?"

rose

"We're both part of the mold," Rose says when Mom looks to her, "he's…he's using my part right now, we're sort of sharing it."

told her i'm not a scientist, figured you'd get it :)

"No one uses those anymore," Mom mumbles and Rose whispers a quiet told you so! as the smiley turns to a frowny for a moment, before the words change again.

i know it's been hard, i'll always love you

"Oh, Ethan," Mom whispers, reaching out to touch the words. She gasps as a flicker of warmth pulses through them and Rose squeezes her hand again. "I miss you."

i miss you too

Another glow flickers up next to Chris, who startles and stares down at the words in shock.

you too

"E-Ethan, I—" he cuts himself off as the words swirl again.

thank you for taking care of my daughter

Chris swallows heavily. "She's incredible, Ethan. You should be proud of her."

always am

"I'm sorry," Chris whispers, and something in Rose's gut clenches at how close to tears he looks too, "if I'd been faster, we could've gotten you out of there, we could've…"

it's okay, Chris, we're all okay

"You're dead."

i died in 2017, doing pretty well considering

"He is really bad at staying dead," Rose adds, "Miranda said so too. You should've seen her, she was so mad at us."

Chris looks like he's having a hard time deciding whether he wants to laugh or cry. The sparkles swirl again.

she's a fighter, she gets that from you too

His free hand jerks and Rose squeezes the one in hers. "You can touch, Chris, he won't bite. That's my thing."

it won't hurt, promise

Chris takes a deep breath and slowly touches the words. His breath leaves him in a rush as they glow warmly under his fingers. Rose smiles as she feels the mold connect all of them there, in that moment, through her and Ethan. Some part of her clicks into place. As if he can feel it too, which he probably can, another set of words appears in front of her.

we're so proud of you, Rosie

"Yeah, yeah," she mumbles as she feels heat rush to her cheeks, "shut up."

no :)

Mom laughs. "We finally have all three of us together again and you want us to not tell you how proud we are of you?"

"They've got a point, Rosie."

"I'll break your nose!"

"No, no," Mom says as Chris squawks, even though she's still smiling, "no breaking Chris's nose."

even if he deserves it

"Hey!"

As they all laugh together, Ethan's words still glowing in the warm, quiet house, Rose sits back in her chair and twists her dad's ring around her finger. Sure, being a mold bioweapon teenager was weird, but if this is the family she gets to have because of it, it can't be all bad.

[theblobmaster]

chanlix in retrospective

so i've been watching old skz content for the first time and i have thoughts specifically about how chanlix is shown. this isn't necessarily about shipping, but it's also a big part of how kpop groups are promoted by their companies so it also kinda is.

first up the survival show:

1. - jype really just handed chris felix and said here he's your responsibility now. we find out in the second episode that felix moved into the same dorm as chris as soon as he landed in korea. him having been living in the dorm with chris, jisung and jeongin for 8 months when the other guys move in.

and i do think that was pretty intentional, chan has said that he knew felix was coming to the company beforehand, so jype probably sat him down and was like we have another aussie boy joining, help him settle into the company and communicate with others.

which no wonder they ended up close if that was the case.

2. - they barely interact throughout the entire show. the only time we really see them together are very short 2 second clips from their selcams where they're joking. when they're out and about they constantly seem to be in close vicinity of each other, yet we never really see them speak? it's weird.

3. - then we have episode 8 with felix's elimination. where we still don't really see them interact in the first half. we do get chan saying that he's worried about how felix will do, but not much else. then he gets eliminated and we're shown chan being devastated over it. it's a completely different reaction to when minho was eliminated.

side note - the footage taken during and after minho's elimination is some of the most invasive i've seen in a long time. it made me deeply uncomfortable to watch. idk if they got backlash from it but i was so happy to see that they turned it down for felix's elimination.

back to felix and chan: the entire band is crushed, but chan is visibly more upset than the last time. it might be because he has now lost two members of the group he put together and the collective loss makes it harder for him to hold it together but the line,

"always find me, yeah? i'm not gonna leave you behind"

is not something you say to someone you're not deeply attached to. and up until now we've had no indication they're close at all? it's so left field from how they're portrayed the rest of the time. and of course we have chan breaking down in the solo interview shot, blaming himself. and that's on par and he also did that when minho got eliminated. tho not as visibly emotionally distraught.

in the montage of felix with the members we get 1 (one) clip with chan and they're not even interacting, chan is just looking fondly at felix while he plays around. we see more clips of felix with minho who at that point is not in the band.

there were multiple clips of chan and minho during his montage. (also with minho surprisingly clingy and affectionate towards chan) chan and felix cannot have interacted that little for them to have no footage of them at all.

4. - when felix and minho gets their second chance and the other find out, we only see chan interact with minho (not a lot) and welcome him back. the closest we get to him acknowledge is him staring at the whole group celebrating.

In the studio when felix and minho join the other seven members to record, felix beelines to sit beside chan and he does so throughout the session. even after he went in to record and got back. yeah we never even see them look at each other much less talking.

5. - and then there was the final, which was broadcasted live...

yeah, chan gives felix comforting touches on multiple occasions throughout the ments and when they're just standing. more importantly is, it does not look awkward or forced, it looks like something he's used to. felix doesn't react as if it's something new either, it also clearly settles him more.

when it's announced they're gonna debut as nine members, felix once more beelines to chan and crashes into him so hard they stumble away from the group and spends quite a good few moments standing so far apart from the group hug the members are doing. it's almost as if they were told they'll debut as a duo and the others as a group. it's a tight hug, it's a hug between people who know and love each other a lot.

they at some point join the others and then when jyp is on his way down to congratulate them on his own decision, you see felix and chan in another tight hug just the two of them. felix breaks it off when he sees jyp approach them.

and again in the end when the camera zooms out and captures the entire stage, the two are in another tight hug just the two of them. and i mean they're clinging to each other.

i think after the last one you see them in a group hug with one other member, when chan is clutching the other two close.

end note for this show - i haven't watched any of the extra clips they uploaded seperate from the official show yet, so i don't know if they interact more there, but i would've been so goddamn confused if i was a viewer back when it first aired with none of the knowledge i have of their relationship now.

at no point do the show indicate these two members are close and yet we get an extreme declaration from chan after felix is eliminated and when they get to debut together they're clinging to each other? with how they edited felix and his relationships, you would've thought he would be clinging to changbin.

they really went in hard on the changlix on this show, and i'm not trying to discredit how close those two are, but it was a really obviously a choice made by the showrunners to focus on their relationship.

i've been in the kpop fandom for a long time and it's not unusual for a company to push a specific 'ship', scarily aware of how much shipping goes on and how much money they can earn from it. it happens less so with newer groups than back when i started getting into kpop, but it still happens. and funnily enough normally chan and felix would've been the perfect fit. two boys far from home, but they can find solace in each other, and oh they're also from the same city, maybe they've crossed paths without knowing before ect ect. people tend to eat that shit up and companies are aware of that.

so why is it, that from the get go we're almost never shown that? why did the jype take that decision? it's really fucking confusing.

i'm probably gonna do more of these when i go through their other shows. because my brain has decided these two are the hyperfixation for now.

[comicbookhyperfixationtime]

Uncanny X-men #196- What Was That?!!

CW: racial slurs

Last Issue Recap: The Power Pack made a cameo and Wolverine did not disembowel a child. Callisto in the Morlocks did show up and they are as skrungly and terrible as ever. And then there was Secret Wars 2 which I have mentally blocked out of my brain because it's too pointless and annoying to take up important Nightcrawler Obsessing Space.

Anyway, HOLY HELL, how did this cover make it to print?! Its literally a woman in a gimp suit! Have I talked about Rachel's Mutant Hunter gimpsuit before? I feel like I have, but I would once again like to say, what the actual fuck.

It's Chris Claremont so I expect to be using this a lot in the near future. Also, in this cover there are spikes around her crotch that form a thong/triangle shape (super umcomfy 😬) which (spoilers) are not there when she wears the suit in-issue. Which just makes this worse.

Gimpsuit aside I don't like this cover. The composition is meh, and its the same sort of misdirection we saw in the last issue. Is Rachel going to beat the shit out of the X-men and get stabbed by Wolverine? Of course she's not. The splash panel on the first page is pretty striking though.

The title is uncreative, but I do adore when writers try to work their issue title into the first page's dialogue or onomatopoeia or something (Thor #366 is my absolute favorite example of this). This is a fantastic first page, not only does it immediately set up tension, mystery and stakes while quickly delivering exposition, but it cleverly uses the in-universe curtain behind Professor X as a tool for adding motion and energy, whilst directing the reader's eye around the page.

I half forgot that Professor X is actually a professor and that he didn't just make that title up to sound cool. Hell, since he has a PhD it should actually be Dr X but that sounds a little too much like a porn knockoff of Dr Strange for my and Marvel's liking. Jesus Christ I bet he's the sort of proff who never ever grades essays in time because he's too busy fucking off fighting Godlike entities in space. I'd give him a 2 on Rate My Professor so fast.

Several students in this packed classroom are smoking. Oh 1985, how the times have changed!

As his students leave, Professor X laments that he cannot simply read their minds and figure out who's thought this was. Not because this would be highly unethical, but because his mind and body has been weakened ever since he got the shit kicked out of him by anti-mutant muggers a few issues back.

Meanwhile, Storm is home in Africa on her self discovery tour, where she is- shot in the head and left for dead by the racist poachers she'd fought before?!

I know logically this is just a fakeout but I'll be damned if it isn't some good tension! Also; the racist poachers are a brother-sister pair named Andreas and Andrea. Their parents must have hated them even more than I do.

We immediately cut to Kitty talking about Ororo's letters at a team meeting just to hammer the stake further into my goddamn heart. The Gang has gathered in a deli to discuss Professor X's mystery, including Magneto (whose presence goes undiscussed, probably because it was explained in Secret Wars 2) and some blonde lady named Aleytys who I have no idea who she is. (Edit: I know who she is- Lee Forrester, Scott Summers ex-girlfriend who apparently hooked up with Magneto in New Mutants. What an absolute power move.) Something I haven't mentioned yet because it hasn't come up is that Chuck has been hiding his growing frailty and power loss from his friends and teammates for some reason I've forgotten but which is probably stupid. Also he can walk at this point in continuity but that's not important.

Rachel sees the Beyonder shows up for his editor mandated plot interruption for a few pages and I'm not going to discuss it because I Don't Care.

My thoughts exactly Kitty.

Speaking of the best boy, he is off at his parish, talking to the priest about his crisis of faith.

I cannot imagine what it must be like to go into confessional with a superhero he has heard some shit someone redraw this man in that one stock photo of the priest.

The monster Kurt is talking about his the Beyonder because goddamnit I guess I can't just ignore that motherfucker. TLDR, he was the ultra-powerful being who started the excuse plot for the original Secret Wars. In Secret Wars 2 he comes to Earth to learn the meaning of life or some bullshit and wanders around causing problems before turning himself into a baby (probably, idk I never finished it, Jim Shooter did that before so he'd probably do it again.) Kurt's faith has been completely destroyed by the Beyonder's sheer power which is like no being he's ever seen before- oh please.

This whole scene sort of pisses me off. First off, its more wanking off about the Beyonder and I really don't want to hear about this guy. Second, its another reason to leave Kurt out of this weeks plot and that pisses me off, give my boy more screentime! Third, this really doesn't feel justified by the Beyonder. Nightcrawler saw Dr Doom hand him his ass in Secret Wars, he knows he's not omnipotent. Nightcrawler having a breakdown is fine but there's way more interesting stuff for him to break down over.

Back on the main plot, a group of shadowy figures sneak into Professor X's office and plant a bomb under his desk! I see someone has been reading Hitchcock's quotes on suspense.

Rogue and Rachel are flying over Columbia U having a dramatic irony-laden conversation about how much less nasty this current timeline is than Rachel's home time whilst she mind-scans for the culprits. They don't find them, but they do find a mugging in progress and stop it.

I'll tell you what else is a crime, that hairdo! Yeesh.

It turns out the civilian they saved is a anti-mutant jackass who was grafitti-ing the words "Muties die!" when he got jumped, because Marvel civilians are assholes. Kitty and Wolvie take a quick break from crimefighting and have an conversation that's too cute for me not to share.

Kitty phases into a building because she sees a light on in a lab after hours. She finds some of her student acquaintances skulking about and, despite having doubts that any of them could be murderers, is immediately suspicious. I personally think the fact they ordered pizza with anchovies on it would be enough to peg them as supervillains on the spot, but Kitty is more of an optimist than me. The terrorists realize Kitty is a mutant and confront her about it.

Kitty Pryde just said the N-word. This isn't ok. I don't know how the editors at Marvel ever thought it was ok, and it speaks volumes that they did. "Mutie" isn't a real swear. "N-----" is. That word is hateful and terrible and affects real people and it is not ok at all to equate it to a made-up slur. The X-men are supposed to be an allegory for suffering that empowers minority groups. This just hurts them more. Hell no to all of this.

I took a hot minute to absorb what I just fucking read and then moved on with the issue. The terrorist kids get the jump on Kitty and chloroform her before she can phase out, with intent to kill her. Meanwhile, Magneto, Professor X and Rachel Summers are in the Prof's office, discussing the case and the Beyonder's continued presence because he's been stalking them like a weirdo. Rachel tries to psychically link the three so they can sense the Beyonder like she can, but using her psi-powers sets off the bomb, which is actually not a bomb but a "psi-scream," a device that amplifies and reflects psychic energy back to its source. This is a massive plot-hole; how did they know Xavier was psychic?! As far as I'm aware its not common knowledge Professor X is a mutant at all, let alone what his powers are! And these are just normal Columbia U college students with no connection to any supervillains or secret organizations whatsoever, there's no way they'd have access to this info!

The bomb overloads Rachel and she accidentally destroys the office, sending out a shockwave of energy that sends Professor X and Maggie flying. Rogue has to catch them both which I find sort of curious because its always so inconsistent whether Magneto can fly or not (my personal headcanon is that his costume has metal soles and he levitates them). Rachel senses Kitty's distress through their psychic link and freaks out so bad she manifests her BDSM Mutant Hunter costume. She flies over to the lab, explodes the anti-mutant students and rescues Kitty in a very hetero way.

Cannot imagine what goes on in Kitty Pryde's head. Must a beautiful and terrifying place to visit.

The guy in the pink jacket from before regains consciousness and tries to shoot Rachel, but its a bit like trying to stab a rhinoceros with a butter knife. She's about to kill him, when Magneto shows up to stop her from making the same mistakes he has.

I don't know bout you but if Magneto in a suit told me to do anything I'd drop whatever I was doing immediately. I love reformed Magneto, such a richer and more interesting character than racist whiny asshole villain Magneto. I sure hope Marvel lets him continue to grow as a person and don't constantly regress his character for the stake of a stupid status quo! Haha. I hate the Endless Wheel of Comic Book Samsara.

The conversation between Magneto and Rachel is honestly really beautiful. Two people who've never interacted before, but understand each other's pain better than anyone else can. Its a fantastic scene only slightly marred by the final panels being of the Beyonder observing the scene and giving some pointless, longwinded commentary. Its too long for me to screenshot and post here so I super recommend you check this out for yourself!

On the plus side, next issue is Dr Doom!

Final Thoughts: This issue had some really high highs and some really low lows. I'm honestly super shocked the panel of Kitty Pryde saying the N-word isn't more infamous than it is, because holy fuck that was awful.

[lover-of-mine]

Okay I've gotten, like, 5 asks about my theories on how I think Buck and T will break up in the past few hours and I don't want to screenshot them all and put them in one and also because yall can get real intense and while I do support you, I need to pick my battles lol, so have this post instead. First of all, I think everyone needs to let go of the idea that it will be perfect and calm and just fizzle out just because it is Buck's first queer relationship. Queer people are allowed to be messy, like, come on guys. And this show likes to keep their queer people messy. The first scene with Michael has May and Athena snapping at him, then we find out he's been cheating on Athena. We meet Eva before we meet Karen, so we meet Hen messy as fuck love before we meet her wife. Josh can't catch a single break. The idea that there will be nothing wrong with the relationship just because it's queer is just not it because if there were nothing wrong with the relationship the relationship wouldn't end. I think everyone is taking Tim and the "Buck is in a romcom" too seriously, there are ways to be messy without being traumatic and I want some drama because if nothing happens it will be BORING. I am begging for some spice between those two. Second, I have about 100 theories of how it could go, we just don't have enough information on s8 for me to say anything. Yes, T parallels Ali, but he also parallels Taylor, and Abby, he is all of Buck's love interest smashed into one, so he can go anywhere at this point. He could get the Ali treatment and get broken up with off-screen because the relationship isn't serious enough and they didn't make a point of establishing his connection with anyone else in 7b so they could just get rid of him if they chose to, just say he moved or whatever. He could get the Ana treatment where during the opening event they throw doubt into the relationship until it cracks. But he could very much also get the Taylor treatment and stick around who knows how long even though he's not being written as endgame. We don't really know where they are taking the story yet. Do I think Eddie is gonna play a part? Not really, not fully. But it will depend on the time jump for the season, if there's a four-month time jump, they will have been together for what? Six months? At that point to make T insecure about Eddie all of a sudden wouldn't be that easy. Unless they lean into the emotional infidelity angle, but that would pull the trigger on buddie, because you can't have T call Buck out on this without forcing Buck to think about it and realize he's right and I am actually hoping Buck has a cool-off period before jumping into buddie because Mr moving in without noticing, Mr I got an apartment because my gf needs a better place to sleep, Mr wanna help me pick a couch even tho we only had 3 dates and you actually stormed out of one, Mr wanna go with me to my sister's wedding even tho we only had half a date because you ran away needs to learn how to take a breath and not jump into the deep end and hope he won't drown. So I hope Eddie isn't a deciding factor tbh. Gerrard could create problems tho. The jealousy line of thought, well, T says he's jealous of Buck's found family with the 118 on two different occasions, a situation where T is witnessing that firsthand could create tension if they want. You could even have that focus being on how well Buck and Eddie work together without framing the whole thing to be about Eddie. Especially if Buck somehow manages to get Gerrard's respect or Buck interferes when someone is getting the Gerrard treatment, and he suggests Buck's life could be easier if kept his head low. Do I think age will be a factor? It could be? But it would depend on the circumstances, T is supposed to be in his mid-40s, Buck's 32/3, there is tension to be put there. The idea of kids keeps coming to mind with Chris being a wildcard for the season, but again, it would depend on how serious they are during s8 and how long they plan on keeping T around. And if the show will decide to make them want different things.

Personally, I think the relationship wouldn't last a lot beyond Buck's helpless crush phase, but that's a me thing, there are ways to make it plausible for the relationship to last more than the infatuation stage. And I don't see him being that long-term because of the very deliberate choice of having the camera pan to Eddie during the ceremony and the way T wasn't at the hospital. Even more, considering the way they filmed a bt scene at the hospital they didn't use. The show has a very specific way of writing endgame relationships and none of those are being used. But at this point in time, we don't know anything about season 8, so it's hard to say anything clearly because T is in a very ambiguous position. They had a conversation about taking things slow and we were shown that they are, that could be turned around in s8 where they are fully committed or it could just spiral more and more into the idea it has no depth. Or he could fully just not come back. It could go anywhere and until we find out more about the season, it all feels like fanfic planning, it's speculation and wishful thinking.

[allpowerfulspacevalkyrie]

Finally watched the Furiosa movie today. I did enjoy it, I was anxious about Anya Taylor Joy but she nailed the role of Furiosa. Alyla Brown as little Furiosa did awesome too. I've never wanted to punch Chris Hemsworth before, but I did watching this movie. A bit too much dialogue compared to the first movie, the first movie did show don't tell very well. This movie reversed course and has too much dialogue exposition in several scenes. I do feel that the plot got a little off. I never read the prequel Furiosa comic but I think most of it comes from there, and after a few hours of digesting I think I know why the plot is off. Spoilers under the cut.

I think the first moment I went, huh this isn't right, was when it's revealed she grew her hair back. When she's a little girl trapped with Immortan Joe's "wives", she cuts her hair off and makes a wig with it. It's an unclear plan for escape until Rictus Erectus tries to grossly play with her hair again, oopsy she's running away free and can hide amongst the boys. So why the hell does she allow her hair to grow so long again? Well the next moment of the movie I realized the guy I thought was going to be her positive father figure that teaches her to be a bad ass driver, is apparently her romance. Can't be a romantic woman with a buzzcut. Don't get me wrong, Tom Burke/Praetorian Jack is hot. Their relationship is pretty good. But woOow that age gap. At filming, Anya was about 26, Burke is about 40, a stretch with their ages, but when they meet as Furiosa and Jack, it feels a bit like she's 16 and he's 40. But again, the relationship is pretty good otherwise, there was chemistry, their escape sequence was fantastic. It predictably ends badly because this is a prequel after all, Dementus catches up to them and kills Jack. The story turns into a revenge on Dementus. I guess Furiosa never wanted to get revenge that badly after watching her mother be brutally tortured to death in the beginning?

I love that the plot ends with how killing in revenge doesn't solve anything, doesn't bring people back, and it's better to find other uses of your time (and use of your anger). However, after turning the whole plot over in my head I feel like that love story shouldn't have been there and the revenge plot on Dementus should have been consistent from the start because of what happened to her mom. Jack stays, there needs to be a balance to all the negative masculine energy in the movie and I don't see why he can't be a father figure. Also I think he's hot.

A central point of Fury Road is that Furiosa is rescueing those women from being Immortan Joe's breeders. I went into this movie expecting to see reasoning why she would want to do that besides the obvious it's right thing to do. What did she experience to motivate her to jeopardize her escape home, for them, with three armies of men following to get them back? Why did she growl in Joe's face "remember me?" before riping half that face off. She's a bad ass driving a massive truck through the desolate desert. She's got a magnificent resting bitch face and is beating the shit out of men left and right. She could escape whenever she wants without those women, far more easily. And with the Furiosa movie, she nearly does it once and has the perfect opportunity to do it again at the very end of the movie.

Why even go back to the Citadel at all? I'd have to watch again but I'm pretty sure she's not bound to Joe for any reason. And the ending with Dementus, while interesting, is such a weak reason to go back. Her interaction with Joe's "wives" in this prequel is so minimal. At most, we're shown a woman desperate to please and produce another son, but her lucks run out and the third baby she's had is another dead one. Off to be milked like a cow. That's it. A scene worth empathy, but we don't see anything else for why Furiosa would risk getting home with three armies of men chasing her across the desert for these women. Besides the obvious right thing to do.

It would have been interesting if some kind of relationship formed with at least one of the other women trapped by Joe. Maybe romantic, maybe a mild rivalry, maybe some encouragement to not try to escape because they are "safe and pampered" (I myself coming from a extreme conservative cult christian upbringing could relate to hearing that delusional thinking). A scene where this woman (or girl) tries to learn where Furiosa is from but Furiosa is sworn to secracy about her home. Then at the end Furiosa gets hit with the reality that those women need her help because of the death of this one woman within the confines of her "safe and pampered" prison. Now Furiosa tells these women of the Green Place, where they won't be "pampered" but far more free and safe (at least until they find out the water went bad).

Wouldn't it have been a great twist if this other girl/woman was about Furiosa's age and is actually Jack's daughter who was taken from him years ago. His Praetorian Jack act is his plan to get close enough to rescue his daughter. But everything falls apart because of Furiosa's revenge quest. Her actions for revenge results in Jack's death, then when Furiosa returns to warn Joe of Dementus's plans, she learns Jack's daughter is dead too.

Yeah. That romance was sweet and all, but unnecessary and weak motivation for Furiosa.

[love-fireflysong]

as one fellow 'imagining shmoopy gushy shit between fictional characters while trying to fall asleep' enjoyer to another, /i/ for one would LOVE to know about the shmoopy gushy shit your brain comes up with when you're trying to fall asleep 👀 hehehehe

(so sorry about how long it took me to answer this 😭 i'm a sham of a person)

Oh god. I mean, if I've gotta be *real* honest over here, you've likely read pretty much all the shmoopy gooshy stuff I think of at night. Cause that's when I do like the majority of my plotting and scene setting aksdjaklsjdasjd. And unsurprisingly the bits I like to roll over and over and over again is the tender, fluffy/angsty shit 😅

Like the ones I got on repeat are all scenes I'm looking forward to writing the most. The most appropriate for the whole shmoopy gooshy feelings hilariously enough being two scenes from the second chapter of To Have or to Hold (til death do us part) aka outlast au shit. The first of which is just the three of them trying to clean each other up the best they can/refamiliarize themselves with one another in one of the bathrooms (which as you can imagine the whole cleaning part isn't going *great* thanks to the whole sinks being half filled with blood and all but it's fine cause its the touching thats more important to them by far). And the second being the scene with the three of them squeezed together on a single twin bed and finally falling asleep wrapped up in each other's arms after far too long (aka the entire reason this fic even exists LKJSLKDJLAJ).

...And that's where this would have ended. If not for a couple of days ago where my sleepy little brain decided to give me a new tender image all together. Namely, Ashley doing her best to comfort Chris in the safe room in the period of time between Sam leaving to catch up to Mike and whenever they got chased out. And it's got all my little fav tender moments. Hands cupping faces as the other person can't help but lean in near desperation to the touch. Foreheads touching, noses bumping as they're so close that they're basically breathing the same air. Kissing the forehead in both a promise that they're not leaving and to see how hot/cold the skin may be. The hugs so tight that they can't help but tuck heads into the other's neck in an effort to be even closer.

Ashley doing everything in her power to help comfort an injured Chris who is just starting to fall into shock as the events of the past few hours finally hit now that things have seemingly started to quiet down. Even as she fights against the realization of not only how close she was to losing him, but also how close she was to watching it happen.

So yeah. That last one's been REALLY taking over my thoughts at night to the point that I've been having trouble falling asleep if it wasn't obvious SKDKJSLJD Haven't written a single word down for it cause I'm still not sure if I wanna write it yet, but I get the feeling that this is gonna be like baby it's cold outside all over again. AKA, an idea that drives me crazy until I finally can't take it anymore so I just roll out of my bed to grab my computer and start writing the first like five pages at 3am 🙃

[secretkittywolf]

Just water the plants, right?

"Michael? Michael!" The youngest sibling hears his name being called out. "Yes?" "Ah Michael, there you are" his older brother Thomas approached him with a piece of paper. "Listen, I've got a date with Dextra and I need you to water the plants in the greenhouse for me" Michael raises his eyebrow. "The greenhouse" "Yes" "The one place that no one else is allowed in?" " Yes! But I need your help, Michael!" "I'd love to-" "Great! Here's the list. I'll see you later" "Wait! Thomas" But the second eldest was already running to the front door. Michael sighs and looks at the paper that was shoved into his hands. "Everything okay?" He turns to see Chris. "No. Thomas wants me to water his plants in the greenhouse, but Yuma's picking me up in half and hour for our double date with Reginald and Astral" "Well I could assist you. We could get it done in time before Yuma picks you up- Wait, double date?" Michael nodded.

"Reginald and Astral? They're together?" "Yeah They are" "And I thought Thomas and Dextra was an odd couple" Chris muttered. "Anyways, let's see that list" Michael handed him the paper. Chris pulls out a pair of glasses. "Since when do you wear glasses?" " Thomas's handwriting is small and in cursive" Michael hums in agreement. "This shouldn't be too hard" "Check the back" He turns over the paper and finds more. "Let's get started then" Chris sighs, placing his glasses away in his jacket pocket. The two head over to the greenhouse, removing their jackets since it was got inside. "You take the front half of the paper, I'll take the back" Michael nods, taking a picture and goes off to find the plants. "Okay Hydrangea. It needs about an inch of water? Okay" Michael grabs a watering can and adds a few drops to the plants. "I hope that's enough? Okay, next is the Damask Rose" he walks around more and comes across the pink flower. It had a strong rosey fragrance compared to the others. "It requires 0.8 cups? I guess I'll give it a little like the Hydrangea? Thomas really shouId've explained this more"

Michael wasn't the only one struggling with the water amounts, Chris was having trouble too. "A gallon of water for the Amaryllis? That seems like a lot for one plant. Is this even right?" Chris picks up the hose. "Okay, one gallon of water it is then" He turns on the hose and stands there for a while and then turns it off to look at the next plant on his list. "The Chrysanthemum needs an inch of water?! It went from a gallon to an inch. I need to have a serious talk with Thomas when he gets back" The two continue on watering Thomas's plants, guessing the amount of water that they need. Outside the mansion, Yuma arrived to pick up his boyfriend. He knocks on the door. "Ah Yuma Tsukumo. Long time no see" "Hey Vetrix, is Trey in? We have a date tonight" The child nodded. "Yes he's in. I last saw him with Chris heading to the garden" "I see" "Do come in" Yuma walks inside. "Trey? Trey, you there? We have our double date with Shark and Astral!" No reply. "Trey-" Suddenly a scream was heard. "HELP!" "Trey!"

Yuma runs over to the greenhouse and opens the doors. Inside, he sees Quinton and Trey, being held my some plant. It resembles a Tropical Pitcher Plant. "Yuma! Help!" Calls his boyfriend as the plant's vines reach out to grab him. He quickly dodges and runs over. "What happened?" "Thomas failed to mention about how he owns a carnivorous, man eating plant!" Says Quinton, hanging upside down. "I'm gonna look for something to free you" Yuma runs around the greenhouse, dodging the vines trying to grab him. He spots an axe and grabs it before making his way back to his boyfriend and Quinton. "Don't worry. You'll be free soon" He raises the axe when someone calls out. "Don't you hurt Tabitha!" Yuma turns around. "Tabitha?" Stood in the doorway was Dextra and Thomas. "What happened?" "Your monster of a plant is trying to eat us!" "Two things: 1. Tabitha isn't a monster and 2. She's not gonna eat you. She's just thirsty and usually picks me up to make watering her easier" Thomas explains, approaching the plant. "Now Tabitha, place my brother's down" Tabitha places the two brothers down and picks up Thomas instead.

"Here you go" He uses the discarded hose to feed Tabitha and she placed him down. "See? Completely harmless. She is a carnivorous plant yes, but she only eats insects, not humans" "You could've mentioned that in your paper!" Exclaims Michael. "Didn't I?" "No!" Replied Chris and Michael. "I'm sorry, I through I did. Here, Dextra some Azaela for your Pipevine Swallowtails" he hands her a plant pot of pale pink Azaelas. "Thanks Thomas. This'll do nicely for them" she smiles. "We should get going now, Trey. Before Shark gets mad at us" "Agreed. See you, and next time, mention about the giant plant" Thomas nods sheepishly as Michael and Yuma leave. "You're late" says Shark, glaring at the two approaching. "Sorry we had some issues" "What kind of issues?" Asks Astral. "Tabitha" Shark and Astral look at each other with confusion. "What?" "We'll explain later. Shall we see the movie?" They walk in, well Astral floats, into the movie theatre.

//////////////

If anyone's interested: This is a Pipevine Swallowtail:

And this is the plant Tabitha is based off of:

Also Quatrro's bad handwriting is the reason why the water measurements are all incorrect

[littlespoonevan]

i really want to know your opinion on last night's episode! do you think we finally saw Eddie's oh moment? I see a lot of people talking about it and about his heartbreak but I'm not seeing it? like I see eddie upset about what buck is saying, but that could easily be platonic imo, my best friend saying someone else actually sees them? that would make me feel awful, like I'm here??? I see you??? and i get eddie feels lonely as well, but i dont ser that particularly related to him realizing he's in love w buck, idk idk what are your thoughts?

askjdhlf okay. where do i begin??? i should preface by saying i only got a chance to watch the last 25 mins of the ep like an hour and a half ago bc of how long it took for the ep to upload this morning so i'm still very much processing bUT

that cemetery scene was a lot.

to start by answering your question, i don't think we got an oh moment in the deliberate sense?? by that i mean, i don't think this was the show telling the audience "this is it!!!! this is the moment eddie realises he's in love with buck!!!!!" however i do think that scene did A Lot to suggest something big and buddie-related in the pipeline.

something about the tone of it felt very different to what we've gotten previously???? it's most certainly one of the longest conversations they've ever had at 3 minutes uninterrupted. it's also one of their most serious and touched on a wide range of topics (like it felt almost like a post-ep coda fic conversation to me????? askdjfh) and i think it's interesting that twice now in 6b we've had meaningful conversations between them that don't involve chris being brought up. because that's been something i've always said was maybe missing when it came to the possibility of them becoming canon??? we have so many conversations that emphasise buck/eddie/chris as a family but very few conversations between buck and eddie just about them and their friendship/relationship, y'know??

likewise eddie's reaction to natalia was in very stark contrast to the usual way he sort of snarkily comments on buck's relationships. @mellaithwen made the great catch that it paralleled buck talking about ana in 5x02 and it also reminded me of eddie's reaction to abby??? in the way it was this sort of weary-frustrated-resigned combination where he Knows this won't end well for buck and he's maybe a little bit annoyed at buck's lack of regard for himself (in 3x18 bc he's willing risk his own life for abby to save her fiancé even after she left buck the way she did and now with natalia in a 'how can you say she sees you better when the version of yourself you're showing her isn't you' way)

there's also just the big giant elephant in the room where buck is talking about how natalia sees him when eddie is the one who's always Seen him - all the way back to "to be seen to be found, isn't that what we're all searching for?". eddie is the one who constantly validates buck's feelings, who understands his reasons for the choices he makes, who knows exactly what to say to make buck open up. he even does it in this scene!!!!!! when he says "you don't have to be anything for anyone". it felt like a big fat example of dramatic irony tbh

and i think for me, regardless of what happens on the actual show, when it comes to how i write and approach canon in fic that scene acts as confirmation of my favourite headcanon that eddie knows about his feelings but buck has no fucking idea. and while we may or may not ever get real confirmation of that in canon, i think you can for sure read the scene that way without twisting it into something it's not :')

overall, you know i'm the most cautious person alive when it comes to canon buddie but i do genuinely, genuinely feel something has shifted in this scene even if it's not a definitive oh moment for now💛

[fluentmoviequoter]

Oh, lord, don't even get me started on the whole Luca thing. It made literally no sense and they went against so many things they established in canon in earlier seasons.

The biggest part of SWAT's story was Luca/Street bromance. They literally lived together for better part of the show, had a really sweet brotherly dynamic, always there for each other no matter what. You know what we got from the hospital scene? Nothing. Not even so much of a word about where Street was, maybe an excuse why he couldn't make it which while it still would've been lazy writing, it would mean they at least considered the relationships and important people in Luca's life. Which they obviously didn't. Same goes for Chris. Like, we had newer people there waiting in the hospital, but not the likes of Mumford, Rocker, Stevens, other men Luca's been serving with for SO long! Also, no mention of his dad, mom, sister, brother. Nothing!!

I mean I have grievences with how he got shot too bc I feel like it was a cheap cop out for writing out his character in a way that would least anger the public while still somewhat making sense storywise. But, come on... He has been on SWAT for how long? And you're telling me he'd be reckless enough to risk his life going after three heavily armed suspects without backup, gear, anything WITH KELLY right there???

And then the whole thing post-hospital is also a huge question mark. The pacing was so weird, the dialogue felt off... Then his last call and some of the most important people in his career and life are once again missing (I mean, really, not even a cameo?!).

All in all, so many weird decisions and once again, so many better ways they could've gone about this if they had just considered the season as a whole rather than ep by ep. Because that's what this season feels like - bunch of standalone eps tied in together with a paper clip. A plastic one, at that.

I hope they get better writers for s8 or at the very least the ones that don't seem to hate the show and characters with burning passion bc this is 🥴🥴🥴 And much hate to whoever okayed promoting this season with Alex and Kenny being credited as "recurring" instead of what it really was "guest starring". For s8 celebration we should get them a dictionary and circle those words so that they can learn what they mean since they clearly don't.

~🧡

Um??... Woof. (But I love your explanations and reading your thoughts so much!)

Of all the things they could have done for Luca's send-off, they chose that half-baked, poorly written, hot mess of a story??? WHY? And we know Alex was on set for other episodes, so they seriously have no excuse for leaving Street out of his best friend's ending!!!

Did they think that the fans would just ignore the fact that Luca acted completely out of character in the situation leading to the shooting, and that all of his closest friends and comrades weren't there for him? I mean, I know they hate us and him (clearly), but apparently they also take us for fools. You're spot-on in saying that they didn't put any effort into writing his final episodes; in a season of exposition explanations, we didn't even get one for Luca!!

The pacing and the dialogue is what I've heard the most complaints about! "A bunch of standalone eps tied in together with a paper clip. A plastic one, at that" is the most perfect description!!! Even just reading the synopsis of each episode, I've been wondering if the episodes were coherent or connected in any way, like a television series should be, and it sounds like they're not. Since the season was shorter after the un-cancellation, I think they just threw a bunch of ideas into a hat and pulled one for each episode rather than trying to create an underlying thread that could run through all 13 episodes.

Okay, the situation isn't funny, but your last line made me laugh so hard!! One of my favorite things (for some reason) is come up with fake dialogue for the S.W.A.T. writers - what I think they say at the writing table, so I can whole-heartedly agree with your idea to get them and the marketing people a dictionary and explain the difference between "recurring" and "guest starring"! Like you said, getting new writers seems like the only hope for the show. If the show reads a bit different, that would honestly be fine, as long as the writers treated the characters like they deserve and create a show again, not a mod-podged pile of underdeveloped scenes that ignore everything previous seasons have established!

"Hey, guys, what if we take a beloved character, shoot him in front of Kelly because he ran in without thought, and then just rush through his recovery to send him off into the sunset?" In my mind, the S.W.A.T. writers sound like the pilots from the first scene in the Lego Batman Movie.