#this isn’t safe to post in a text post so I’m gonna just put it here
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Hi
#this isn’t safe to post in a text post so I’m gonna just put it here#the more I watch spn the more Sam gets on my nerves#for every re-watch Sam just annoys me so much more#objectively Sam is cool but he is SO ANNOYING#Anyway Jimmy Novak deserved better#but I’m glad he gave us Cas#tag rant#spn#only the tiny tag for my blogs sake I don’t need this advertised lest haters come knocking again
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josh washington romantic headcanons
be soft on me, it’s my first post.
1. His humor as both a weapon and a shield
Josh isn’t the type to confess his feelings outright, but he uses his sarcastic humor and jokes to show he cares. If you’re having a bad day, he might say something like:
“Oh, so the drama queen decided to bless us with her depressed presence? Well, put me on your throne, because I’m about to save the day.”
While he’s trying to make you smile, there’s an underlying sincerity: he hates seeing you down, even if he can’t admit it directly. I mean, how’s the light of his life gonna be sad? Then what’s expecting to him.
2. His unexpected gestures
Josh isn’t openly romantic, but he has his own way of showing he’s thinking about you.
For example, he might text you at 3 a.m. with a dumb meme he knows will make you laugh or show up at your door with your favorite snack, saying:
“It’s not like I’m obsessed with you or anything… but I saw this and thought of you, ‘kay?”
He plays it off as casual, but the truth is he planned it more than he lets on.
3. The weight of his vulnerability
While Josh tends to hide what he’s feeling, when he’s with you and feels safe, his mask slips. One night, after a particularly bad day, he might say:
“Sometimes I feel like I’m… messed up in ways no one else gets. But with you, I don’t know, it’s like I get a break from all that. Thanks for not running away yet.”
He doesn’t expect you to fix him with words; what he needs most in those moments is your presence and understanding.
4. His idea of a “perfect date”
Josh isn’t the kind of guy who plans extravagant dates.
He prefers something simple but meaningful: a late-night walk somewhere secluded, an afternoon showing you weird movies he loves, or just staying in while you work on something creative together. He’d say something like:
“We could hit the fanciest restaurant in town, but let’s be real, the real art is in these burned popcorns I made for you.”
5. His fear of being abandoned
Josh constantly struggles with the fear that the people close to him will leave—especially you.
He doesn’t always say it outright, but you notice it in small things: how he seeks reassurance that you’re okay with him, how he avoids certain topics, or how he insists on making you laugh even when he’s clearly not okay. If you ever call him out on it, he might say:
“I’m not saying you have to stay with me, but… if you do, I can’t promise it’ll be easy. Just that I’ll try, alright?”
6. His awkward but tender touches
Josh isn’t naturally smooth when it comes to physical affection.
At first, his hugs might feel a little stiff, and his attempts to hold your hand might be clumsy.
But over time, his gestures become more natural. If you ever rest your head on his lap, you might hear him murmur:
“You know my legs are falling asleep, right? But don’t move. I don’t mind.”
7. How he talks about you when you’re not around
While he wouldn’t say it to your face, when he’s with his friends, he can’t help but brag about you indirectly. “Oh, guess who had the brilliant idea to drag me to that movie? Yeah, my girl obviously. Always has the best ideas.”
His friends know he’s crazy about you, but he prefers to keep a laid-back attitude… even if his expression totally gives him away.
8. His way of apologizing
Josh doesn’t always handle his emotions well and can sometimes be impulsive or say something hurtful without realizing it.
However, when he knows he’s messed up, he won’t just let it go. He might show up at your place with an unconventional apology, like a bag of your favorite candy and a note that says:
“I know I was an ass. This doesn’t fix it, but it’s a good start, right?”
It may sound lighthearted, but his regret is genuine, and he’ll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust.
genevieve out, xoxo.
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@ace-is-undead It’s nice to meet a new fan! I hope you make lots of friendships on here❤️
For anyone who’s curious, this person asked me:
as someone taking interest in Captain Marvel because of the movies (never heard of him before :/), I'd love to know why you think the movies ruined Billy's image! Bear in mind, I recently started reading some comics about Shazam
I knew I’d be making a hella long comment, so I thought, hell, let’s make a post!
Now, as a preface, I worded what I said a little too strong. The 2019 movie isn’t the worst piece of Shazam/CM media ever. There are definitely parts of it that I liked. The humor was 10/10 for me, and I did like the costumes. There are things about the story I don’t like, but for the purpose of all of us not sitting here for the next two hours, I will stick with just Billy’s personality.
This post will probably have stated everything more eloquently than me lol:
Many Golden Age heroes were created/used to combat war trauma. To the kids who read those comics, it made them feel safe. To read about these people with fantastical abilities, who regularly fought Nazis, supervillains, and entire armies.
Captain Marvel was a little different, though. It wasn’t an adult who was doing the protecting. Or, it wasn’t JUST an adult. It was also Billy Batson. A kid, like all of the other kids reading these comics. And it was different from kid heroes like Robin because he was the hero. The main hero.
Before the New52 reboot, basically from the 40s-2000s, but I could be wrong, Billy was a homeless kid. His uncle Ebenezer threw him out after his parents died and stole his inheritance. He got a job at Whiz Radio and became a reporter, giving him enough money to get his own apartment.
In one continuity, his friend Dudley becomes his guardian. In the most famous interpretation, the Power of Shazam series from the 90s, he is, after some time, adopted by his twin sister Mary’s adoptive family the Bromfields, and Nora Bromfield happens to be their mother’s cousin.
The important thing to grasp from this is that Billy was independent. Responsible. And when he got his powers, he was also responsible with them. He has a few fumbles, but he was always able to keep them and do good with them.
His Captain Marvel persona was also like that. He led the Squadron of Justice, a team of Fawcett heroes. There are also instances of heroes like Batman and Superman praising him as a trustworthy hero, even knowing about his identity.
It’s also important to note that, while in some times the Captain character is childish, he is never stupid. He makes mistakes, is a little goofy, but he never does anything outright cringe worthy.
A prime example of a good interpretation is the JLU episode Clash. The whole JL really likes him. For some reason my tumblr is acting up today so I can’t put any videos without it not allowing me to type afterwords. But the series is on Netflix. Like holy heck, Bruce says they all like him because he’s sunny. Bruce!
There’s also comic examples, like Action comics #768, which is in the POV of Superman. I’m just gonna put everything Clark thinks as text.
“And then it happens.”
“Armed with the wisdom of Solomon, the patience of Atlas, and the focus of Achilles, a teenage boy in the body of a man defends human kind to a frog goddess.”
“I can’t imagine anything more ludicrous. I can’t imagine anything more moving.”
“With unmatched eloquence, he explains humanity’s needs, our weaknesses, and our relationships with nature to a being as old as time.”
“She retorts. It’s not the act itself that enrages her, but the fact that her people are taken for granted.”
“Bred, butchered, wasted. Without appreciation for the contribution to the lifecycle.”
“He emphasizes. It is a horrible thing to be underestimated, unappreciated, forgotten.”
“His sincerity is a living thing. They speak for an eternity until Heqt has been heard and appeased.”
“Then, the war is over. Diplomacy and reason succeeds, where force…where I… simply would have failed.”
This is another example:
I mean the whole Captain Marvel-focused panel is Clark and Bruce arguing with Diana that Cap will be a great asset to the League, and how Bruce wants him on because he’s just GOOD. They all knew he was a kid, and they didn’t care because they trusted him that much!
Many 80s and 90s comic showed Cap as this beacon of hope, very akin to his Fawcett era, which is why so many of us liked it. He was still goofy at times, but it never overshadowed how much of a hero he was. Hell, the Fawcett heroes never gave a damn about him being a kid. All they saw was a person doing good, and they automatically began working with him.
He would get into friendly tussles with Superman, and him and Diana hugged one time, and she confided in him about how she might die. I can’t find the issue, but it’s drawn by Alex Ross, so that may narrow it for you.
Cap was genuinely respected. There are even some comics where Billy’s is interacting with the League as himself and they treat him like any other friend!
And Billy was chosen not because he was a last resort, but because the Wizard saw so much good and purity in him. He still made mistakes, but he was never not worthy.
Compare that with, not just the Shazam movies, but the DCAMU movies(JL War & Throne of Atlantis), and you get a whole other monster. I mean, he is just dumb, awful. He’s good when he’s Billy, a little snarky while also being a good person and comforting Cyborg(before taking his jersey, lol). But when he’s Shazam(his name in the DCAMU) every single thing that came out of his mouth was just… not it. If gets even worse in Throne of Atlantis. Literally almost everyone on the team hates him. The only reason Cyborg doesn’t is because he knows his identity.
In the 2019 Shazam movies, hes very similar. They made him a lot more jaded, which just ruined his character for me because Billy is the type of person who would rather die than talk down to other kids going through what he did. I’m cool with the rebelliousness, it’s just that that I’m worried about. It’s even worse in the 2013 shazam comic series because he’s actually way meaner there. Like jeez, why do you want me to hate this boy so much DC??
And as his Shazam self, he’s like ten times more goofy and irresponsible, which is such a backwards take it’s insane.
The character of Captain Marvel was beloved by so many children because it showed that they could be just like those other heroes. They could fight the monsters and get the job done, and no one would look down on them. They would be taken seriously. Seeing this kid bond with and interact with and be trusted by these seasoned adult heroes was EVERYTHING.
I may not have a grown up in the 40s/50s, but I did get introduced to him in JLU, and then Young Justice, and then obscure media, and then comics. And through that journey, the take I loved infinitely more was of Captain Marvel being this guy who made mistakes, but always tried to do the right thing.
Making him out to be this…immature dude who never knew what he was doing just stomped on all of us. It also really irks me because that is how some people will be introduced to him. As opposed to who he really is. And they won’t be interested because the face value is all they’ll see.
Heck, some people think he’s one of the weakest DC characters when he ranks in the top ten. He’s the Champion of Magic and guardian of the Rock of Eternity for Pete’s sake! He’s fought and almost won against the Specter himself! (Day of Vengeance comic series, it’s so good!)
It’s unclear why his character has been so diminished. Some people, including me, think DC is trying to lower his…everything in general so he can never measure up to the Man of Steel, which is so petty it’s ridiculous.
Hopefully he’ll get something in James Gunn’s new DCU, a movie or a show. Because I feel like there’s a chance to reintroduce the true Captain/Shazam to people.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my petty-fueled rant😅. Sorry for the angry spews. Anyway, there are some good reading lists for Shazam/Cap on tumblr. I really advise you to check those out. Though there are also a few articles on google listing all of his appearances, so if you wanna get detailed then those are where you should go.
We also have a Captain Marvel fan club! Go over to @im-not-buying-it-ether and ask for an invite for more content.
I hope you have a fulfilling journey!
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all mine
main 4 dating hcs <3
characters; kyle broflovski, stan marsh, kenny mccormick, eric cartman x gender-neutral reader
warnings; just a smidge of smut :3
a/n; first actual post 😱 also theyre like 18/19 in this
kyle broflovski:
he’s absolutely lovesick.
bro wrote and performed a love song for rebecca when he was in 3rd grade
you can be damn sure he’s doing that and more for you
only in private though, not big on pda, especially when you’re around his friends
you both know how much he likes you, so he doesn’t feel the need to put on a show when you’re in public
he’ll sling a loose arm around your shoulders while he’s talking to the guys or sit next to you during lunch, little things that tell you he’s still yours
his jealousy does sometimes get the better of him though
probably a little insecure in the relationship, scared he’s gonna lose you to cartman like he did with heidi
one time the five of you were at a party and kyle started squaring up to guy who’d asked you if you were single
sorta gave you the ick but he made up for it by walking you home, giving you a tipsy goodnight kiss and a lopsided grin before stumbling over your porch steps and heading back to stan’s place, the other guys having to hold him up the whole way there
that was the first and last time you’d seen him drink
after you told him about his attempt to fight some random guy, he decided that it’d probably be better for everyone if he stuck to being the designated driver
oh and he loves how close you are with his family
the first time he invited you over for dinner, he was terrified about his parents embarrassing him
almost cancelled when his mom wouldn’t stop saying that her ‘little bubaleh’ was in love
still, you managed to charm them the whole night, asking questions about gerald’s job and helping sheila clean up after dinner, even enduring ike’s constant questioning about if you and kyle were gonna get married
that’s when he knew he’d found the right one
definitely ended the night with your guys’ first kiss <3
stan marsh:
i’m gonna be honest he’s a fucking loser
definitely not the most attentive boyfriend you’ve ever had, but probably the best you were gonna get in south park
it’s a small town and options are slim, so you often had to give stan the benefit of the doubt
absolutely terrible at replying to messages
if you two aren’t physically together, you probably don’t talk
luckily for you, he’s a whiny bitch and will most definitely complain when he’s not with you
meaning most of your free time is spent at his house, listening as he practices guitar, playing video games or just laying in his arms
you could go to his and just nap the whole time and he’d still be happier than if you weren’t with him
you know his relationship with his dad isn’t the best, so you have to be prepared for many late-night ‘can i come over’ texts
most of the time it’s because randy’s drunk or just being a dick and he can’t stand to be around him
and obviously, you’re his safe place
sometimes though, his messages are a little less innocent
he’s a teenage boy at the end of the day, and he has needs
(as do you ;))
you and stan have a pretty stable relationship in comparison to him and wendy, but there’s been times when you two had to go on a break
whether it’s because of his constant need to be around you or his drinking, sometimes you just needed space
you and shelley def complain about him together when you’re on a break
she’s a couple years older but she gets it better than anyone
her own relationship was pretty rocky too, so it was nice to just vent to eachother, probably with a bottle of wine and takeout
it was probably a little weird that you still hung out with his sister when you and him were on a break, but you honestly didn’t care
you and stan never stay broken up for long though, the both of you eventually crawling back
maybe it was a little toxic, maybe you knew it wasn’t really gonna last, but for now, you had him and he had you
that’s all that mattered <3
kenny mccormick:
good old kenny mcwhoremick.
despite the rumours of his promiscuous lifestyle, his body count was actually significantly lower than you expected
not that you cared; you were actually quite happy that he was so experienced- not many boys your age knew how to pleasure both themselves and their partner
he wasn’t just great in bed, either
he’s quick to fall for you, infatuated with you after just a few meetings
immediately takes on a sort of caring role in the relationship, definitely protective, similarly to how he looks after karen
it was nice to have someone so doting, though you had to remind him a few times that you could take care of yourself
he simply shakes his head, stubborn as ever
speaking of karen, you adored her
anytime kenny invited you to his house, you spent most of your time playing dolls with her or letting her do your hair
he loved how motherly you acted towards her
probably got him thinking about starting a family with you tbh
he absolutely loves showing you off, be it with pda, on social media, whatever
you were his and he wanted everyone to know
definitely has a highlight on insta dedicated to photos of you, and a playlist of songs that remind him of you
(also of songs that he’d thought about fucking you to)
though you do spend lots of time at his house now, he was really against the idea when you first started dating
you’d suggest watching a movie at his place and he’d come up with some excuse to do it at yours instead
it wasn’t that he didn’t want to spend time with you, he was just embarrassed of where he lived after years of teasing from the other boys
one day you decided to show up out of the blue, wanting to surprise him for his birthday with presents
he’s gobsmacked when he opens the door, quickly trying to divert your attention away from the mess in his living room, his parents passed out on the couch
you reassure him that you don’t mind, asking if he wanted you to go; you really wanted to stay and see his reactions to your gifts, but you weren’t going to push him if he was uncomfortable
he was relieved when you said you didn’t mind, finally inviting you in
it was the first time he’d let a partner into his house which was terrifying in itself, but he calmed down when he saw how relaxed you seemed, getting comfy on his bed and waiting for him to open his presents
you obviously didn’t care how messy his home was, or how his parents weren’t the best at looking after their kids
you only cared about him <3
eric cartman:
listen, as much as i love the enemies to lovers trope with cartman, i love the fake dating trope even more
(and i love combining the two the most teehee)
cartman had recently received some pretty embarrassing information about you, and decided to make the most of it while he’s coming up with his newest scheme
you had had a crush on one of the other boys in your class for a few months and, even though you’d only told your closest friends, somehow he’d found out
so, in order to make heidi jealous, he’d forced you to be his pretend partner in exchange for not telling your crush you liked him
it was humiliating- having to hold his hand as he walked you to class, sitting with him at lunch, enduring his sickly-sweet pet names..
..only at first, though
after a few weeks, you’d come to enjoy the routine the fake relationship provided
you also found that you actually liked spending time with eric, and he could be pretty funny when it was just you two
you did your best to shove your feelings down, slightly ashamed and pissed off that you liked him, of all people
still, it couldn’t be helped- you had stopped staring longingly at your crush during class, eyes fixed on cartman across the room
it didn’t help that heidi didn’t seem too jealous either, causing him to ramp up the ‘pretend’ affection
when you were around him, he acted like he couldn’t get enough of you; playing with your hair, caressing your face, all the while keeping a strong arm around your shoulders, like he wanted to keep you close to him
as much as you liked the attention he was giving you, it was infuriating knowing he was only like this to get heidi back
it all came to a head when he tried to kiss you as she walked past you both in the hallway
you pushed him back, all of the feelings you’d been forcing down suddenly overflowing, choking on tears as you walked away
you knew when he didn’t bother following you that this relationship really was just pretend to him
it wasn’t until later that night when he showed up on your doorstep, hands in his pockets, sighing, that you realised maybe you were wrong
he obviously wasn’t big on apologising but tried his best, looking slightly annoyed as he admitted that he’d only blackmailed you into being his fake partner because he knew you’d say no if he actually asked you out
his logic was completely insane to you, but from eric’s point of view, he genuinely saw it as his only option to call you his partner
your heart melted as you thought about how he went through all that just because he had a crush on you
you don’t say anything in response, shocking him a little as you walk towards him, wrapping your arms around him and laying your head on his chest
sure, you’d hugged before, but it was awkward and emotionless, just pretend
this was different- his arms enveloped you, pulling you close as you felt him laugh
he was most definitely gonna tease you later for being ‘obsessed’ with him, but you could deal with it
after all, you were really, actually his <3
#brook1yn-baby#south park#kyle brovlofski#kyle broflovski x reader#stan marsh#stan marsh x reader#kenny mccormick#kenny mcormick x reader#eric cartman#eric cartman x reader#headcanon#fanfic
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ik I'm late to the party but omg.... abram boyd.... I'm sobbing that's so sweet 😭😭 pls tell me more about them
AHHH THANK YOU I LOVE HIM
Abram has certified protective big brother energy, but since he isn’t a big brother this goes to his girl friends at college instead. Palmetto is a safe campus, but he (and Elliot by association) still always end up getting their girl friends back to the dorms safely no matter what. I’m talking if two of their friends are fucked up before he even gets there he will leave the bar 10 minutes in just to get them home and then come BACK. (this is based on my sisters friend at lsu and it’s so wholesome)
Abram’s relationship with Neil is interesting bc he’s growing up as Neil is traveling in the pros in his late 20’s. However, Neil visits whenever it’s convenient and once he gets in the groove of this whole godfather thing he treats Abram like he’s his uncle bc he sees how Andrew is with Aaron’s girls. He keeps up with his schedule when he starts playing little leagues and makes Dan send pictures. She sends first day of school updates and a picture of a little Abram missing his two front teeth.
Abram gets a Josten Court jersey and wears it until it stinks. He gets new ones when he outgrows them. By his third one Matt gets him a huge one to grow into as a grown man. He does indeed grow into it.
Neil sends him post cards with a little letters written inside when he’s 4 and Abram loves it so much that Dan facetime’s Neil like 2 weeks after he got the first one but it’s just Abram’s face all up in the camera. “When will I get anover wetter, uncle Neil?” “Oh!” instant delight “It must still be in the mail, buddy, but just keep an eye on the mailbox, okay?” “Okay… do you wanna see your wetter?! I put it on my wall, uncle Neil!”
Neil is the first to start calling him B, firstly bc calling someone else Abram is something he has to get used to. Secondly because Abram acknowledges it as Neil’s nickname and stubbornly doesn’t let anyone else call him it.
Matt retires from exy at like 32 when Abram is 3. Matt’s exy team loyalties lie where his friends are at, so Matt, Jace, and Abram make it a thing to watch every game. Abram can’t keep track of Neil is and gets frustrated by it. Matt mentions it while laughing, two games later Neil has the butt of his stick wrapped in orange. After that Abram keeps saying, “Ope, there’s uncle Neil again …. There’s- I see orange, Daddy! …. There he goes again! …. Look! Uncle Neil!!”
Andrew may have been the one humanizing Neil, but Abram is the one who softens him.
Abram used to hold onto Addie or Annie’s hands and just follow them around at Fox reunions, which got more frequent throughout the years and is why/how the fox kids all got close.
Abram plays minecraft but just creative mode. He likes adventure or sports videogames while his brother likes Call of Duty and whatnot.
BIG lego kid until he’s like 14.
As a teenager, Abram and Neil text so much and talk on the phone a lot. About exy, about French help bc he’s learning it in school, about some fantasy show that Abram somehow got Neil into, about sports and college applications and when he can come visit again. And then about who these new kids in Neil’s house are and are they gonna stay a while? should we add them to the cousin gc? hey how’s elliot doing? and hey can you send me elliot’s number? and if i’m doing all this hard work to keep the strikers away the least our strikers could do is do something with the ball i keep getting to them, anyway, are you guys bringing blake and elliot to thanksgiving? i’m excited to meet them. and i know ur gonna be weird if i ask you about guys but im pretty sure i have a crush on one and im kinda freaking out and im scared to tell my parents and-
Matt is so loving when he comes out to him and Dan, hugging Abram really tight and just telling him he loves him and he’s so proud of him and Abram cries a little.
The first time he kisses a boy (bc crushes are only from afar) it’s freshman year of college and it’s because he starts looking at Elliot too often for too long and needs to get that shit out of his head bc that’s his best friend.
Abram has lunch with Dan like twice a month because she tries to stay out of his hair since she’s the exy coach at PSU.
When he and Elliot get together he finds he loves to wrap Elliot up in his clothes.
Elliot goes to all of his home games with their friends and cheers obnoxiously. Abram loves it. He also… fucks Elliot while he wears his soccer jersey.
He is definitely a gentle giant, but once he and Elliot get together he throws that boy AROUND in the bedroom.
there’s a lot more about him but i hope that’s good for tonight hehe
#abram boyd#my writing#matt boyd#dan wilds#aftg#neil josten#all for the game#the foxhole court#palmetto state university#david wymack#andrew minyard#kevin day#next gen foxes
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Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 44
chapter 67:
1. jfc remus (how is he that strong)
2. god, can’t our side have one fucking win? all these people captured. including my remus
3. “"She started the war for me, and she'll end it for me, too."” GOD i love lesbians
4. NO NO NOOOO NO NO NOOOOOO NOOOOO NOOOO MARLENE STOP NOOOOO!!! SHE WANTS TO PROPOSE TO DORCAS AFTER THE WAR!!!! SHES GONNA DIE I CANT HANDLE THIS
5. 😦
6. marlene?? i-
7. i’m still in shock
8. okay i have my bearings. this is why the post is two days after the last one lol. anyways, i’m actually pissed that she didn’t get to die a big dramatic or memorable death. she didn’t do anything. it was just a landmine. and she’s dead. and i get it, i really do. war isn’t always big heroic deaths. it’s also this. where one moment, you’re planning to propose to your partner and laughing with your freind, and half a second later, you’re blown to bits. but genuinely, her death fucked me up. i knew it was coming, but not like this. holy shit, not like this
anyways, the first thing i did after i read that bit was text my freind. and first thing they did was call me. i sent in bold “IM CRYING” and i get back “why” “MARLENE” bro immediate call. not well. not well at all
9. i continued and read the rest of her death. and her last words being dorcas will forever fuck me up
10. PANDORA????? PANDORA????
12. anyways all i did was call back the freind and say “PANDORA” and that bitch laughed at me. (love them to death) told them to go suck a lemon (they’d never heard that phrase before) and then they made me hang up to finish reading
my poor roommate has heard me call this freind twice (it’s ten o’clock at night)
13. “Horace would need more than just two hands, many more, to count the amount of people who would have gladly put their guns down for Pandora alone.” yeah, me for one
14. FLEAMONT NOOOOO
15. james will be devestated beyond belief
16. remus? huh??? he was shot in the head. but. he had a pov. i’m not sure now
17. …dorcas? i was so sure she had a pov
no wait she has a pocket. just checked
18. regulus???
19. um actually albus can fucking keel over. wont save all those other people in the lineup, then hears his brothers name and is willing to sacrifice the war for him. i get it, but alberforth knew this would happen to him
20. huh, damn. and alberforth still gets shot
21. 🚨🚨🚨pandora is safe. holy shit pandora is safe. i repeat pandora is safe 🚨🚨🚨
22. and fleamont and suddenly that all made sense
23. “”You forgot to count your bullets."” do i hate snape? yeah. but that’s fucking iconic
24. “Riddle lost the moment those doors burst open and two of Euphemia's someday son-in-laws moved into the room with Dorcas Meadowes one step ahead of them.” lmao freaking iconic. more historically important than trump getting shot
25. effie stopping to mourn barty gave me chills
26. NO FLEAMONT!!!! i’m getting fucking whiplash from this
27. effie having such a short pov but still so much emotion and character is shown in her love for fleamont
28. yall remus, regulus, and dorcas are fucking insane.
and i’m so here for it
29. “For all those years Sirius was taken away from him, Regulus breaks Riddle's fingers. Ten years, ten fingers.
For what Riddle took from James, Regulus takes his eyes. This is a difficult task. Regulus has never removed someone's eyes before. It's messy, and it takes the combined efforts of Remus and Dorcas to keep Riddle from flopping right out of his chair.”
mom pick me up i’m scared
30. “There are no good people in war, and now Dorcas thinks there are no good people out of it—certainly not her, because she would gladly go back into it just to have Marlene again.”
going feral over this actually. i’m unwell. i’m so freaking feral over this omg
31. reading authors notes and finding out that monty was author’s prim is actually making me go fucking insane
32. 😀 hi i’m unwell
(anyways side note, uhhh chapter was fucking insane but also like if y’all are reading this fic or this post, just know that there is no anger or resentment towards the author. he wrote this for himself and shared it with us. it’s a masterpiece and we RESPECT people. so yeah, this is the story he wanted to tell, so he wrote it for himself. just ya know, so yall remember)
[also don’t sell fics 😊 i will hunt you down]
#marauders#dorlene#dorcas x marlene#dorcas meadowes#marlene mckinnon#pandora rosier#pandora lovegood#monty potter#fleamont potter#remus lupin#regulus black#euphemia potter#effie potter#crimson rivers
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Do you have any voice head cannons for Killer & Color?
Like, do you have any headcannons on what you think Killer & Color would personally sound like?
Oh this is usually more difficult for me cuz I tend to think in like, concepts and words and feeling/vibes. But I’m gonna be unoriginal and say that I agree with @signanothername’s pick for Killer’s voice claim, such as the one chosen in this post.
I don’t know anything about the character that the voice was taken from, but I feel like it fits Killer pretty well.
As for Color, I don’t have a specific voice claim, but I have like a general vibe of how he feels to me. I think he usually tends to take awhile to think before he speaks or responds to someone, because he is working out how to properly get across what he is meaning to say.
I think he is often careful with his words, either because he has his words twisted and misinterpreted before, or he just often struggles to put words into a verbal format.
I am admittedly projecting when I say I think Color has an easier time communicating when he has the needed time to pull his thoughts together, which is often why written communication tends to come a lot easier to him. He can get quiet chatty and verbal when able to write or text his thoughts.
His tone feels warm and low, something often comforting to certain people, but just as many others can read his tone as tired or grumpy. When he is extremely tired or just overstimulated/overwhelmed, his tone can take on a more flat/blunt way of speaking that others often mistake as annoyance or disinterest, although he’s really just tired or exhausted, which is likely another reason he resorts to ASL in these moments.
He probably isn’t much of a yapper verbally mostly because of the “barrier” between thoughts and spoken language, but he can noticeably excited whenever he’s talking about something he likes or is a special interest of his; especially in texts and sign language, where he often sends multiple paragraphs or signs so fast its hard to keep up.
All in all, I just think Color has an easier time expressing himself and his thoughts through written format and signing, because his tone can often be mistake for something unpleasant and he often takes awhile to reply; because he’s so focused on piecing words together to form a coherent “air tight, can’t possibly misunderstand this” sentence in his head. But most people are often taken in by and feel almost safe due to the obvious warmth in his tone and his..I guess, “light” way of speaking.
I feel Color often tends to take on a listener role in most of his relationships, and whenever he does speak, those who have the patience to wait usually tend to trust what he has to say because they know he has carefully thought it through or it is something he has been thinking for awhile before saying it at all.
I think Color just tends to prefer being straightforward and literal, in an attempt to avoid misunderstandings, although he always considers his words with empathy and sensitivity. His sentence structures and choice of words would also likely be affected by the fact he knows Arabic, so he may also have an accent when he speaks, that could possibly also get “heavier” according to his moods or when he says certain words or letters.
( @lovelyheartclover ).
#howlsasks#utmv headcanons#utmv hc#utmv#sans au#sans aus#killer sans#killer!sans#killertale#voice claim#voice claims#color sans#colour sans#color!sans#othertale#othertale sans#color spectrum duo#something new sans#something new au#undertale something new#undertalesomethingnew#killertale sans#autistic headcanon#undertale au#undertale aus#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare’s gang#nightmares gang#something new
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Their Comfort
Summary - Part 2 to In-Air Comfort - You comfort Dean after his brother runs away without a word.
Pairing - Dean Winchester x Reader, Reader x OC Andre (platonic), Reader x Sam (platonic)
Warnings - minor swearing, fluff, mentions of alcohol
Word Count: 1,562
Series Masterlist | Masterlist
A/N - G’day guys, I just wanna start by thanking you for all the likes, reblogs, comments, and follows since my last post, I really appreciate it. I hope you like this one too. Let me know if you want part 3 (personally I'm feeling like this could be a series - I'm really attached to these characters), and remember my inbox is always open for requests or even if you just wanna chat. Until next week, enjoy!
You wave until Andre’s hired SUV disappears into the distance. When you turn around, Dean had already begun to rap on the door, ready to kick it down, when Sam opens it revealing himself in only his boxers and a girl hastily dressing behind him.
“You came all the way to Tampa, in MY car to get laid?! I’m all for having fun, but this is extreme, even for me, extreme, Sam!”
You put your hand on Dean’s arm in an attempt to calm him down, but he jerks away and storms off down the road toward the bar you’d passed on the way here. You give Sam an apologetic look and chase after your boyfriend. When you catch up to Dean he already has a glass of whisky in front of him. You sit down beside him and signal for the barkeeper to get you the same as the man beside you.
“You know Sam, there’s gotta be more to the story. You just gotta give him a chance.”
“He stole my car and drove across the country in the middle of the night without so much as a text. And I found him in his underwear. That’s not Sam. I don’t know what’s possessing him or if it’s a shapeshifter or what, but it’s not my brother.”
“Isn’t that all the more reason to go back and find out? Before he takes off again.”
“You know what? Let him go! I’m done being his babysitter! I want to focus on you … on us … but I can’t while I’m babysitting his stupid ass.”
“I know how much he means to you. I knew that when I agreed to be your girlfriend. I’d never ask you to put me before him, he’s your family.”
“I want you to be my family too. I already feel like you are. There are so many places I want to take you, things I want to do with you and I can’t because of this stupid life … it’s not just Sam, it’s all the demons and shit that we deal with every day. I’m just over it all. I’m tired, baby.” He downs his glass and puts his head down on the bar.
You run your hand through his hair comforting him. “I’ve seen more of this country since we’ve been hunting together than I’d seen in my whole life prior-“
“While third-wheeling with me and Sam…” he mumbles.
“You’ve saved my life more times than I can count.”
“After putting you in danger first-”
“Dean Winchester, would you look at me?” He turns his head slightly to face you. “I love you and I love spending time with you anywhere, whether it’s in the Impala, some old motel room, in a dingy old bar or hunting evil sons of bitches. I chose this life when I chose you and I wouldn’t change any of that.”
“But you talk about marriage and kids … and I can’t give you either.”
“I don’t see why not. Maybe not now, maybe not even in the next year or two, but someday. But for now, why don’t we go back and check on your brother? Find out what’s really going on here. Once we know Sam is safe, we are gonna have a good long talk about us and our future, okay?”
Dean nods at you, “sounds good, sweetheart. Thank you.”
“Hey, I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Dean pulls a few bills out of his wallet and places them on the bar under his glass before taking your hand in his and leading you out. You walk hand-in-hand back to the motel finding Sam leaning on Baby’s hood; no sign of the scantily dressed woman.
“Maybe let me take the lead this time, Dean.”
Dean just squeezes your hand in response as you approach the taller brother.
“Hey Sam,” you say, “
“Hey, I swear I didn’t run off just to get laid,” Sam says looking between you and Dean, “I caught a case here, and I thought I could handle it on my own … I was watching the two of you snuggled up together and you looked happy … you deserve to get out of this life, go get married, have a family. So, I wanted to prove I could handle myself so you guys can do that. I should’ve left a note and not taken your car but I guess I just wasn’t thinking straight.”
“Sam, you have nothing to prove. You’ve been doing this since you were a kid. Don’t think you’re holding us back. But, don’t think you have to do this alone either. I don’t think either of us are really ready to leave this fight yet, and as long as we’re hunting, we’re doing it as a team,” you say.
“What’s the case? Did you handle it?” Dean asks.
“Yeah, I handled it. It was a kitsune-”
“Where’s the body?” Dean asks.
“I’m not an idiot, Dean! Just trust me, I handled it.”
“And the naked girl?”
“I met her at the bar, the same way you used to every other week,” Sam spits out as he glances over at you.
Dean glares at his brother, “you wanna try that again? You don’t get to look at her like that, you know damn well she’s not like them and that I haven’t done that since before we met.” You put your hand on Dean’s arm trying to calm him down. Sam walks back into the room. “No, he doesn’t get to disrespect you like that.”
“Dean, take a walk, or take Baby for a lap,” you say.
“Alright, come on,” he says, but you shake your head.
“Let me handle whatever’s going on here.”
“I’m not leaving you here with him.”
“Dean … Baby, I need you to trust me okay? I can handle myself. Something’s up with him and you’re too close to him and angry right now. Let me talk to him and find out what’s really going on here.”
“Fine, you’ve got an hour, then I’m coming back with dinner.”
“I love you, Dean,” you say as he kisses your hand and walks away.
You take a deep breath and cautiously enter Sam’s room. You find him sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands.
“Hey,” you say as you take a seat on the end of the bed, leaving space between you.
“I’m sorry,” he says, not looking up. “I didn’t mean that out there, I know you’re not that … that you’re different-”
“I know. So, spill, Sam. What’s really going on here, with you? And don’t bother trying to keep up this bull- I’ve been dealing with that behaviour from Dean for too long.”
“The kitsune … when I saw the article I knew I had to come before another hunter did … she was a friend from when I was a kid. She killed her own mother to save me. She doesn’t eat fresh meat. Her-her son was sick, she had to save him. She’s not a killer, but the circumstances…”
You put your hand on your stomach, “one day I hope to truly understand that love. I get it. So, you let her go?”
“Kind of…”
“You hooked up with her, and then us turning up scared her off…”
“Dean would never understand. She was one of the first girls I ever had a crush on. But I knew dad and Dean would’ve killed her so I let her go. They just see a monster, he’ll never understand how that feels. But I do, I’ve been a monster, I’ll always have demon blood coursing through my veins, and I can never change that. Does that mean I should die? Hell, it probably does, I’ve done bad things too.”
“Sammy, hey, you don’t deserve to die, and nor did that mother. I don’t care if she’s a kitsune, she’s a mother and having a sick child can make you do crazy things. It’s a mother’s instinct. And I know you think Dean won’t understand and you’re probably right, but I do. And I am gonna do everything I can to help him understand okay? Just leave him to me.”
“I hate putting you in this position, messenger or the buffer between me and my brother. And I saw that reflex by the way, does Dean know?”
“Hey, you did it for us, and I’ve never been happier. If it wasn’t for you, Dean and I would still be awkwardly hiding our feelings. Now I get to repay the favour. And there’s nothing to know, it’s just wishful thinking. But we’re not ready. Dean would never. And this life, even if … I wouldn’t be able to keep it. One bad hit or fall ... ”
Dean walks in with a bag of Chinese food and beer, cutting you off. Sam gives you a knowing look. Dean sets the table without saying a word. You look over at Sam, “let’s eat and then I’ll talk to him okay?”
Sam nods and follows as you get up and sit at the table. You eat in silence, no one game to say anything. Once you’re finished you take Dean’s hand in yours on the table.
“Can we go for a drive?” you ask him, he just nods despite just wanting to snuggle up with you in bed.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
#dean winchester x reader#dean x you#dean winchester#supernatural#spn#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester imagine#dean winchester fic#dean winchester fluff
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I forgot to post this add-on yesterday, but I’ve got some specific heat/rut character/aid headcanons that I wanted to share. Fair warning, I’m not editing it at all LMAO forgive any issues please:
So, uh…. So, from what the post said, yes I definitely agree he’d a pretty good handle on his heat cycle. Aid being one of the only ones who actually tracks his heat and is responsible enough to take time off for it? HELL FUCKING YES, GO KING.
But anyway, I can imagine heat cycles probably still aren’t all that pleasant to work through by yourself. It’s possible, don’t get me wrong, but like… I can see Aid as someone who would debate on texting someone he knows a sort of “u up��� type message, datapad in one hand typing while the other one casually strokes his cock, and who’s to say someone wouldn’t get a little curious? I’m going in a specific direction with this by the way.
On one hand, you’ve got the texaid ship that I am super fond of. Maybe Aid texts Vortex, maybe Vortex is already sneaking over because Aid’s not the only one who tracks Aid’s heat cycle lol, Vortex is a little freak like that. Anyway, super casual sex: a desperate, sweaty, eager Aid grinding against Tex’s thighs, bouncing on his spike, squirming and whimpering against the berth while Tex eats him out, followed by sleepy snuggles and then hey let’s do it all over again!
Vortex wouldn’t necessarily be entering his own heat/rut cycle, but the dude’s a suuuuper hypersexual mech by nature so he’ll take what he can get… also, Aid is addictive. Can you blame him (no, the answer is no)?
On the OTHER hand (I’m gonna have three hands here), you’ve maybe got Ambulon. Now, give me that super sexual tension scenario with this one. Ambulon has made like one move out of the twenty moves Aid has made, and don’t get him wrong, he DOES share those feelings too… maybe? He thinks? It’s dangerous, affection. It’s complicated. He’s confused, don’t push him. But like… maybe after discreetly putting two and two together like Tex (not like *like Tex* bc he isn’t fucking obsessed lmao), he starts to notice a pattern. He himself probably takes heat suppressants religiously, but… well, his libido is pretty low, but it’s not *nonexistent*. Maybe he slips a message in, maybe he stops by Aid’s quarters. Aid is pretty low key, he’s huddled beneath the covers and happy for Ambulon’s company, but he definitely seems a little…. Hmm, a little needy. It’s between them to meet in the middle, to break down the walls, and it’s a little hard at first, but they do it.
Ambulon is more focused on “helping” rather than the sex itself, and he’s relieved to find that while Aid is pretty strung out right now, he’s still gentle and slow and careful—like always, precious Aid… always making sure Ambulon is comfortable, and that he feels safe. Ambulon doesn’t stick around long afterwards, and their goodbyes are a little awkward, as he ends up leaving Aid in the same place and position (huddled against the sheets, hand gently working beneath the covers, looking dazed and a little out of it), but it’s… hm. It’s nice. A nice experience. Maybe—maybe he’ll do this again sometime. Under different circumstances, maybe, or… or not. He doesn’t know yet.
Super short and cracky but I can also see Aid texting someone at 3am (please be one of the wreckers please please) talking about all the things he wants them to do to him and how he wants to feel up their frame and grind against them and hejdjdjdjjdd. Falls asleep, wakes up to 3+ bots standing in the doorway ready to fuck him silly. Could be a good setting for that Aid/wreckers orgy fic I never finished, who knows. Will probably keep this around for future reference.
But yeah! Just some thoughts I’d put together after seeing this post again and finally reblogging.
Okay okay now that I’ve seen rut/heat Drift I have to know who else is the softest/the worst on the lost light when in rut/heat also are they nesting? I need to know all the good little details ~
THIS IS A GREAT ASK THANK YOU!
First of all, I LOVE the idea of nesting for them. Since there arent typically many soft things on cybertron, i feel like its pretty rare to nest with blankets, so I think rather than nest, I think cybertronians would more likely retreat to a safe territory, hiding under berths or in somewhere safe and dark, like a cave or dimmed hab suite to hide.
as for softest/the worst---
Okay so, i can't give my takes on all of them, but i can give you my hcs for best and worst!!
BEST: FIRST AID!
I mean, he's a doctor right? He understands self care is important, he understands that his work can't stop for most things, but he also recognizes that nobody is immune to their instincts when they crop up, so he'd be VERY responsible with his heats. I think he'd be the most likely to have a heat tracker of all of the crew, probably would get the first warnings, book time off, and go into his quarters to handle himself until it rides out.
BEST: NAUTICA
I think nautica's heats would make her less feral and more sleepy. I feel like she would be sort of stumbling around, lightheaded, a little loopy, and one of the like thousand amicas/partners she has would notice and bring her home to take care of her. I think in the polar opposite way to first aid, Nautica's strength is in her support system, people willing to notice for her if she's too absorbed in work to notice her own heat drives kick on. I also think she'd be very cuddly during heats, so enter her hab at your own risk if you don't want to be dragged into the cuddle puddle.
WORST: TAILGATE & WHIRL
I'm lumping these two together because in my head they are in a polycue with each other, I think that cyclonus has surrounded himself with a perfect storm of absolute sex pests when they go in heat.
For Tailgate- I'm going to give you the facts here. 2 weeks of existance. and then. 6 million years in and out of a coma. THATS. 6 MILLION YEARS. OF POTENTIAL FUCKENERGY TRAPPED IN THE SMALLEST GUY EVER. Add on the fact he is SUPERNATURALLY STRONG. There is no way to contain Tailgate in a rutt, you have to pray he nests himself because if he gets even a little bit loopy from the heat and decides to go looking for his boyfriends, you cANNOT STOP HIM. I also think tailgate is absolutely fucking hung for a minibot, but thats neither here nor there.
For Whirl- a similar boat to Tailgate, to a lesser degree. I think whirl can absolutely get it, and has gotten it, but on the lost light, its a bit harder of a sell. and for a guy who's already a bit crazy and has no hands to jerk himself off? Whirl definitely goes more feral than Tailgate does, I think he'd also be the type to hunt down one of his partners, though he wouldn't feel even a bit of shame about it.
Sometimes, i fear, their heat/rutt cycles overlap. and. well.
sorry cyclonus, youre in for a long night.
THANK YOU FOR ENABLING MY RAMBLINGS!!! heres a taster of all my takes :D
[Feeling nosy? send me an ask in my inbox!!]
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Tumblr Tips for the Twitter Migrant
Hey friends, as a long-time tumblr user who never left, allow me to offer a few tips to make your lives a little bit easier. This is targeted at the twitter community who moved here from the TTRPG community and are looking to run more “formal” blogs.
1. Use your tags!
It’s gonna make your own life ultimately easier. Yes, tumblr’s search functions are questionable, but you can generally rely on being able to find stuff via tag on your blog.
Reblogs do not show up in site-wide searches. So, if you tag a reblog as “pokemon,” it doesn’t show up in the site-wide pokemon tag. Not even if you added something in your reblog. But it will show up on your /tagged/pokemon. This is basically the best way for both you and your followers to be able to find and sort through your own stuff. So if a follower wants to find a specific post of yours, they can go to YourBlog/tagged/my stuff. And followers browsing your blog is pretty normal here—it is a blog, after all. Don’t be weirded out if someone suddenly likes your post from 8 months ago.
And for that matter, most people here also use tags for commentary. It’s generally less obtrusive than adding commentary to a reblog, so you can add some thoughts without necessarily interjecting - the OP doesn’t get any special notification unlike they do with replies or reblogs with text additions. It’s a little spice just for your followers. (Just be aware that they are visible in the notes.)
As a general rule of thumb, you shouldn’t use dashes in your tags (links get confused), but spaces are safe.
2. Reblog (& Reply Culture).
So unlike with twitter, replying to something doesn’t put it on your followers feeds. (In fact, your followers can’t even see your replies unless they actively interact with the post itself.) Your likes aren’t necessarily public. (They are, by default, but only if your followers have certain settings enabled will they be able to see posts you like on their dashboard.) Basically, if you have a post you want someone to see: reblog it.
Replies are mainly for quick comments. It’s a pain to hold a discussion in the replies, so it’s mainly just for a quick “this is a neat take” kind of comment. Responding by reblogging + adding commentary in the post is how discussion actually happens. That’s the equivalent of actually replying on twitter. Tag commentary is for informal thoughts that aren’t necessarily inviting active discussion. It’s the spot for anecdotes or funny commentary that whoever posted it doesn’t necessarily need to have put directly in their activity feed.
3. Use the Readmore
Unlike Twitter where nuance goes to die, you may have noticed there’s no such thing as character limits here. Tumblr does automatically cut long posts unless you change your settings, but it’s generally still considered courteous to put a readmore. This little button here (also ctrl + shift + k).
It’ll prevent people browsing your blog from having to scroll through a huge wall of text unless they actively want to. It’s a good way to keep things organized. I’m breaking my own rule here for the sake of accessibility, but in most other cases, if you’re doing a long thread-type post, you should usually cut it to be courteous. Especially if it’s image-heavy.
4. Post Types (Photo vs. Text Post)
Most of us are probably gonna be using image posts and text posts. You can put images in text posts, yes, but generally speaking, you shouldn’t. At least not large images. If you have multiple large images (like covers, for example,) a good rule of thumb is to put them all in one image post. It’s also more eye-catching when the pretty picture is at the top. This isn’t a hard rule by any means, but generally speaking, it should usually be either that or one flashy image at the top and a readmore to spare your browser.
#dev talk#i know a bunch of folks were on tumblr in the past but for those who weren't#or for those who were but have been gone for so long that everything is different
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I'm in love with your "dr characters + their ideal partners" posts. It all feels very true to their characters.
By any chance, would you write the sdr2 cast + the types of people they would hate? I'd just love to analyze/see what opinions they might have on other charactees I know.
Keep safe, I love your writing!
TYSM !!! I’m glad u agree :) this was rlly fun !
Mahiru would hate anyone that’s lazy, I feel as though this would be obvious to her though, she’s an open book and makes it very clear she hates those that are unreliable. If you remind her of her father, she just isn’t interested!
Peko would hate you if you acted like you were of the moral high ground but deep down were a piece of trash that didn’t actually care about others at all. The reason she liked fuyuhiko was because despite how he acted he has a kind heart deep down, so having somebody be the complete opposite.. she would hate that kinda person.
Ibuki doesn’t hate people really, but when it comes to romantically interests she’d be the least interested in somebody with an attitude like fuyuhiko or more accurately, hiyokos. She’s not gonna be very attracted to somebody that constantly belittles her and makes her feel bad, but I also find that ibuki things being kind to those around you is an important thing? She would be put off by this, deep down of course.
Hiyoko would hate you if you didn’t know how to defend yourself, perhaps like Mikan. It just reminds her of her old self and it would make her just fucking hate looking at you. However, I can see her somehow getting over this if she ended up liking you for some reason.
Mikan wouldn’t hate you either, but she wouldn’t like somebody that’s mean to her. It would form a toxic relationship with her for obvious reasons, she would feel an intense need to get you to forgive her already for living, maybe you do constantly berate her but you care about her somewhere right? She knows you make her feel awful all the time but it’s okay right?
Nekomaru hates the idea of dating somebody who isn’t themselves. Who is constantly trying to be somebody else, he’s an honest guy and he just can’t stand the idea of dating somebody who can’t be honest to anybody, especially themselves.
Gundham is similar to nekomaru, he cannot stand dating a liar. Dating somebody who isn’t true to themselves, but at the same time he also feels like it’s due to the trust issues he possesses that makes him feel this way. Also not being an animal lover cuz. Tf
Nagito would hate anyone that’s .. yknow.. sad. Miserable. It’s the epitome of despair and he would hate somebody like that. To add onto this, being talentless. To him, you’re just boring and average and do nothing to improve society.
Chiaki wouldn’t want to date somebody who’s overly negative. It’s one thing to be pessimistic but being a Debby downer about everything is just upsetting to her and she’s extremely bothered by this. She won’t say too much on it though.
Sonia would hate if somebody was just simply a shallow individual. She’s a kind person and cannot imagine dating somebody that doesn’t care for others or have empathy in anyway. Especially for animals!
Akane can’t stand the idea of somebody constantly blubbering about how pathetic and useless they are. Like she doesn’t hate Mikan or anything, but somebody that uses being a victim as a shield for holding accountability. That’s the shit she truly hates.
Souda just can’t stand the thought of dating anyone that is like junko but honestly that’s really it. Souda is a pretty open guy and doesn’t hate people all that easily and would be down to date most people. You’d have to be downright terrible for him to hate you.
Fuyuhiko would hate to date anyone that made him feel like he didn’t matter to them. Example; not answering his texts, calls, only talking to him to get things from him, etc. he hates people like that so much.
Hajime hates the idea of dating an egotistical asshole to be honest. He just can’t imagine it, maybe it comes from a place of insecurity and a lack of confidence but he finds egotism annoying. He can excuse it if it’s due to an inferiority complex though.
#hajime x reader#hajime hinata x reader#nagito komaeda x reader#danganronpa sdr2 x reader#sdr2 x reader#sdr2 imagines#mahiru koizumi x reader#mahiru x reader#peko pekoyama x reader#peko x reader#kazuichi soda x reader#ibuki x reader#ibuki mioda x reader#mikan x reader#mikan tsumiki x reader#hiyoko saionji x reader#hiyoko x reader#nekomaru x reader#nekomaru nidai x reader#gundham tanaka x reader#gundham x reader#sonia nevermind x reader#akane owari x reader#chiaki nanami x reader#fuyuhiko x reader
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Burn The Witch 24 - Post Break Up [Bucky Barnes x Reader]
A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: Enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.
Summary: Break ups are never easy.
Series Masterlist
A real spy, a good spy didn’t get scared.
That was one of the most important things they had taught you back at the academy. Being scared got you killed, so you always had to look for weapons or something you could use to save yourself.
Save yourself, take the target down if you can, and if you can’t; get out of there as soon as possible.
For some reason, none of those options felt like they would work against the most feared assassin in the world. Bucky tilted his head, his gaze bored into yours and you stole a look at the counter from the corner of your eye to see what you could use against him.
“Oh come on, do we really have to do that?”
You grabbed the knife on the counter, flipping it in your hand.
“What kind of an assassin would I be if I didn’t fight back?”
He pulled his brows together.
“Fight back?” he asked but before he could say anything else, you had already lunged at him. He dodged the knife way too easily and grabbed to twist your arm, but you went under his arm and jumped to wrap your legs around his neck, using the momentum to make him lose his balance before you both fell to the ground.
“Brings back the memories,” you grunted and he got out of your tight grip quite easily to grab at you, but you had already jumped on your feet. You darted at him and he sent you back, your back hitting the wall hard. You fell on your knees and snatched the knife off the floor but as soon as you got on your feet again, he let out a breath.
“I’m not going to hurt you, okay?”
A hysterical laughter escaped from your lips, “You do realize that it’s not my first day, right?”
“Do you seriously think I’d hurt you?”
“I think if somebody crossed me the way I crossed you, I wouldn’t let them live.”
“Yeah well, good thing I’m not you.”
You frowned slightly, trying to catch your breath as you held the knife tighter.
“Then what the fuck is this?” you asked, “Closure?”
“Oh no I think we’ve had closure,” he said, anger dripping off his voice, “This is a transaction.”
You stared at him and he reached into his pocket to pull out a thumb drive.
Well.
Okay. It was clear that you had misread this situation.
You put the knife on the table and crossed your arms, leaning back, “What is that?”
“This is the information of everyone I hurt on my Winter Soldier days,” he said, “Dates, names, occupations…. Your father’s name isn’t on it.”
Your stomach did a painful flip, “I know,” you rasped out, “I… um- I found out after I left that night.”
“HYDRA doesn’t have anything on your father, as far as I’ve seen.”
You nodded slowly, “And you’re helping me why?”
“I’m not helping you,” he stated, “I just know how it feels to be manipulated into doing something. Everyone deserves answers, no matter how terrible people they are.”
Well, you deserved that and much more.
“I see,” you said, “Well, for what it’s worth, thank you.”
He eyed you up and down silently.
“Why did you try to get me out of the country?” he asked after a beat, “That night? Why did you try to help?”
You bit inside your cheek, commanding yourself to stay strong.
“Does it matter after this point?” you asked back and he let out a breath, shaking his head.
“I guess not,” he mumbled and walked to the window, making you take a step towards him.
“Can I—“ you spoke before he could jump out, making him turn around to look at you, “Can I ask you something?”
He shrugged his shoulders.
“Why would you not want revenge?” you asked, “It’s assassin 101. Why not come after me for all these months?”
Why didn’t you try to find me?
That was what you wanted to ask. As twisted as it was, you would’ve taken him coming after you over him forgetting about you.
Well, as it turned out, no one could say assassins were reasonable people when it came to romance.
“I’m not that person anymore,” he said, “And honestly? You’re not worth it.”
Ah. That.
You could swear your heart was cracking but you pursed your lips together, forcing yourself to look unaffected.
“Fair enough,” you rasped out and took a deep breath. “Goodbye Bucky.”
He swallowed thickly, his gaze fixed on you.
“Goodbye Shrike,” he murmured and jumped out of the window, leaving you all alone, standing there in the middle of your apartment. You blinked back the tears, then ran a hand over your face.
“Get your shit together,” you murmured to yourself, then grabbed the wine glass to down it.
*
The next day you were so busy with the HYDRA files Bucky had given you that you barely noticed Keith pulling a seat to plop down beside you.
“Hi there.”
“Hey,” you said without pulling your gaze off the screen as Keith put a cup of coffee on the table. “Thanks man.”
“No problem. What’re you working on?”
“Oh just some old files.”
“Old files? Where did you get them?”
“Bucky gave them to me last night.”
Keith sputtered out his coffee, causing you to make a face and grab the napkins to wipe the screen.
“Is this your first time they let you out into the real world or something?” you asked him, “Like, what is this? Were you raised in a barn? I don’t want your fucking germs—“
“Screw you. You met Barnes last night?” he lowered his voice, looking around and you shrugged.
“Met is the wrong word.”
“Y/N, what the fuck?”
“It’s not like I texted him to meet!” you whispered, “He just showed up!”
“Okay, we need to give you some protection—“
“No, and you’re not telling anyone.”
“You’re not safe!” he whispered and you shook her head.
“He’s not gonna hurt me.”
“Y/N-“
“He’s not,” you cut him off, “If he wanted me dead, I’d be dead. I talk big talk, but trust me if he came after me, I wouldn’t stand a chance. I actually saw that last night.”
“Why was he there?”
“To give me this thumb drive,” you said, “I’m just going through this HYDRA stuff to see whether they had something on my father, whether— I don’t know, whether I missed something on our files.”
“We checked everything we had on HYDRA.”
“I’m just making sure.”
“What did he say?”
“Hm?”
“What did you talk about last night, when he showed up?”
“You know, typical break up stuff,” you murmured before peeling your eyes off the screen. “He broke into my apartment, gave me a thumb drive with top secret information and oh—before I forget, he said I wasn’t worth going after.”
He blinked a couple of times, staring at you.
“I’m sorry?”
“So much for civil exes huh?”
“More like evil exes,” he commented, “You know he’s being a jerk to you because you tore his heart out, right?”
“I can’t really blame him,” you muttered, “He’s right to be upset.”
“But are you okay?”
You scoffed a laugh, “I betrayed the one person who I could see a future with,” you admitted, “And six months apparently wasn’t enough to get over him. So no, Keith, I’m really not okay.”
He pressed his lips together.
“What if we got you out there? You know, maybe you can’t get over someone without getting under someone.”
“I’ve had sex in the last six months, that’s not working.”
“Barnes hasn’t.”
That was enough to make you turn your head, your whole attention on him.
“What?”
“We’ve um… we’ve kept an eye on Barnes and Wilson, you know, what they have been doing. Barnes isn’t even meeting people.”
“Maybe he is and you don’t know.”
“Nope,” he said, “He and Captain America have been going on their own missions, but since Accords 2.0 didn’t pass, we can’t touch them.”
You tilted your head, “Hold on, what missions?”
A big grin pulled at Keith’s lips.
“Y/N, are you asking me to share classified information with you?”
You arched a brow and eyed you up and down, then steered your office chair a little to the left.
“I’m glad you came back,” he said, dragging his fingers on the touchpad to find the files, “Things were getting a little boring here.”
*
As a spy, finding targets wasn’t something you were unfamiliar with. In fact, since coming back here you were beginning to feel less like a professional spy and more like a rookie in training. You were growing restless every minute you weren’t working, and maybe that was why you were dying to keep yourself busy with something.
Even if that something was completely forbidden by your agency and you would probably be sent to another country again if they ever found that out.
So searching for where Bucky and Sam were using the agency’s resources was probably a bad idea, yet there you were.
You took a deep breath, then approached their table and plopped down to the seat next to Bucky’s.
“You’re going after HYDRA’s leader?”
Bucky’s head whipped up and Sam gawked at you for a second before pulling his brows together.
“What the…”
“Who’s your source?”
“What are you doing here?” Bucky asked through his teeth and you crossed your arms.
“Paying back the favor.”
“Well don’t. I don’t want you here.”
“How did you even know-“
“I’m a spy, Sam,” you stated, “And the agency has been watching you, do you guys seriously think we've left you alone?”
“I was actually hoping you’d leave me alone, yeah.” Bucky growled through his teeth and your heart dropped to your stomach, but you managed to shake your head.
“I don’t—“
“Your agency has been keeping tracks on us?”
You nibbled on your lip, “Just because Accords 2.0 was a failure…” you trailed off and Bucky scoffed, drumming his metal fingers on the table.
“Why are you here?”
“Listen I get it, you hate me,” you said, “Fine. Not a big deal, I can live with that. But I just- I can help.”
Bucky stared at you as if he was waiting for you to say you were joking, but when you didn’t, he let out a bitter laugh.
“You’re not serious, right?”
“Bucky,” Sam said warningly and he threw his hands up.
“You can’t possibly be entertaining this.”
“I’m just asking what the agency knows, that’s all.”
You heaved a deep sigh, trying your hardest not to show your disappointment on your face. It wasn’t like you expected Bucky to welcome you, but you were at least hoping—
Well.
It didn’t matter what you were hoping, it was very obvious that Bucky would never forgive you.
“They’ve just been keeping tracks on you,” you said, “I don’t think any of them put the clues together, and they can’t touch you even if they did, you’d have to do something first. Especially after the last fail—“
“Oh you mean when they took me in after you lied to me about everything and leashed them on me?” Bucky asked you, “That fail?”
You clicked your tongue, “Yeah. That one.”
“Un-fucking-believable.”
“Bucky.”
“But I’ve been going after different HYDRA officials for the last couple of years, and I’ve spent the last 6 months going over everything we had on them, I know some of their locations. So going after HYDRA leader then? Or his super secret location? Why?”
Bucky narrowed his eyes, “Forgive me if I’m not in a sharing mood after learning about what a liar you are. As far as you’re concerned, we’re not doing anything.”
“But I’m trying to make amends—“
“Not interested.” Bucky cut you off and you swallowed thickly.
“You’ve seen me fight,” you insisted, “You’ve— you’ve seen how good I am at my job, okay? I just— I swear I won’t say anything to the agency, just let me help.”
Sam looked between you two and turned to Bucky.
“That’s not such a—“
“Don’t say it.”
“Even you have to admit, that’s not a terrible idea.”
“You’d have to be crazy to think you can trust her,” Bucky argued back, “I get that you always want to see the best in people, but you can’t, not with her.”
“I’m sitting right here,” you reminded him and Bucky shrugged his shoulders.
“I know, feel free to leave.”
“Don’t,” Sam told you and Bucky frowned.
“You’re joking.”
“Bucky, she could help.”
“And then turn us in.”
“The agency lied to me about my father, I’m not going to turn you in or do anything to have me manipulated by them again. Whatever the mission is, they won’t know about it, you have my word.”
“Because your word holds any value for me?” Bucky asked you, his voice way too calm and you clenched your jaw.
“The mission doesn’t require a honey trap,” he said when you didn’t answer his rhetorical question, “Thanks for the offer though, Y/N. Go to hell.”
With that, he walked out of the café and you just sat there completely frozen. You could swear your heart weighed a ton in your chest, and your eyes were burning but you quickly blinked the tears back, then shrugged your shoulders.
“That went well.”
“Do you really want to help?” Sam asked after a couple of seconds of silence and you nodded.
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
You scoffed a bitter laugh, “Other than apparently signing my own death warrant?” you asked, “I owe him. He doesn’t want to go after me for using him, fine. He still deserves justice. HYDRA destroyed his life, the least I can do is help him get back at them, make them pay.”
Sam raised his brows, “You feel that guilty huh?”
You didn’t have any answer to that, and he took a deep breath.
“Can I trust you?”
“You can,” you murmured, “I want you to, but… I wouldn’t.”
“Okay. Let me rephrase the question, will you betray his trust again?”
There was no hesitation in your voice when you spoke, “I’d rather die.”
Sam held your gaze as if trying to see whether you were sincere or not, then cleared his throat.
“Let me think about it,” he said, “I’m not saying no, okay? Let me think about it and talk with him.”
You nodded slowly, “Thank you.”
He shot you a small smile, then walked out of the café, leaving you alone there. You shut your eyes, leaning your head back and letting out a breath.
“Great,” you muttered, “This should be fun.”
Chapter 25
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What is your writing advice for young people who want to write fanfiction and original stories in the near future?
If this is just Way Too Much, skip to the end (#16). My most important piece of advice is there. I also happen to think #5 is pretty good.
-_-_-_-
1) Literally just write. Write whatever you want, and do a lot of it.
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2) You don’t have to post everything. In fact you don’t have to post anything. You can, don’t get me wrong, but it can be intimidating to sit down and think “I will now write something that other people will see and read and judge with their eyeballs.” Because that’s probably gonna lead to nerves and writer's block. Just write down the ideas that you have, the things you want to write, whatever’s in your brain that you want to explore and expand upon and make into something. And then if you want to, share it. Or don’t share it. I have plenty of half-baked ideas and documents and random story chapters and shit hidden away on my Google Drive that will never see the light of day, for a whole number of reasons. I wanted to write it but it wasn’t ~Spicy~ enough to warrant posting, or it’s only like an eighth of a good idea, or it’s like one scene with no story around it, or it’s just something incredibly self-indulgent I just wanted to write for my own enjoyment.
Point being, don’t write for other people. Don’t write so that other people can read it; write what you want, write for yourself, and then if you want to share it, do.
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3) You can pretty much ignore any and all of these for fanfiction. In fact, you can ignore pretty much any rules or guidelines you want for fanfiction. Fanfic is a sandbox. You don’t have to be a “professional writer” to post fic. No one expects you to be Stephen King or Margaret Atwood. Fanfic is just for playing in a fandom and having fun. If you wanna write a 50 chapter slow burn with very little plot aside from the OTP slowly getting to know each other, and no real stakes or central conflict, I guarantee people would read that. Really, fanfiction is the Old West of writing: lawless, wild, unpredictable, and free.
However, here are the rules you must follow:
-Separate your paragraphs. (I’m sure you know this already, but I’m gonna say it anyway just in case.) Do not post one big block of text. Make a paragraph break when someone new is talking, when the characters are in a new place, when a new event occurs that changes the scene, when a chunk of time has passed, and when there’s a major change in subject.
-I know it’s obvious, but... grammar, punctuation, and capitalization. They exist to make writing easy for readers to read, and more people will read your stuff if they don’t have to stop and try to figure out what you meant.
-Use tags and labels, as is possible with whatever site you’re using. Especially if you include possibly triggering content in your story. Again, I know it’s obvious, but it’s common courtesy. Bonus: tagging the themes and content of your story helps readers find it and read it :)
-If possible, limit the use of all-caps and exclamation marks / question marks. 99% of the time, one ! or one ? will do. If you overload the page with a lot of all-caps and long rows of exclamation marks or question marks, it hampers readability.
... That’s literally all I can think of. And, like I said, it’s all pretty basic stuff. You were probably rolling your eyes like, “Uh, yeah, Gwen, I know.” But that’s literally it. You can pretty much do whatever you want in fanfic.
That being said, here’s my advice for both fanfiction and original work...
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4) A quick and dirty rule for coming up with a plot, starting a story, keeping up pacing, or maintaining tension: figure out what dreams, desires, and goals are nearest and dearest to your main character’s heart (see #16). Then set up the main conflict to be directly in opposition to that goal. It doesn’t have to be in a tangible way, though it could be. But, if your main character wants more than anything to reach the ships on the southern coast of your world and sail to a new life, make sure the main conflict immediately prevents them from doing that - in fact, make sure to send them north. If your main character just wants to keep their loved ones safe, kidnap the loved ones. If your main character just wants to date their best-friend-turned-crush, make sure they think they have no chance - or, make them cocky about it, and make sure it makes Person B determined not to ever like them. You get it. Figure out what your character most wants, and then keep them from having that. Boom - your conflict now ties in with your character's motivation. It's like instant yeast for plots.
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5) If you’re anything like me, you want your first draft to be Good, despite all that advice about how the first draft doesn’t have to be good and it’s just to get words on the page, yadda yadda. And if you’re somewhat of a perfectionist (like myself), it’s easy to get stuck looking at a blank page because you don’t have The Perfect Words, and you want what you write to be Good the first time.
Here’s how I cheat that:
Instead of trying to write a Good First Draft from a blank page, hit the enter key a few times, skip a little down on the page, change your ink to red (or blue, or whatever - just something immediately identifiable as Not Black) and just thought vomit. Write whatever the hell you’re thinking, exactly as you think it. Don’t worry about it being readable, don’t worry about narrative flow for now, don’t worry about covering all the details, don’t worry about anything except either a) getting all the details of your idea out onto the page, whether that’s a lot or whether it’s just a sentence or two, or b) if you don’t have an idea yet, finding your way there.
Because this method is also very good for finding your way to ideas when you’re stuck in writer’s block.
Because of how human brains work, getting this stuff out onto the page - in all its messy, stream-of-consciousness glory - will likely spark more thoughts. As you write your original idea about the scene, it’ll likely spark more ideas. Creation begets creation. If you just start thought-vomiting your ideas onto the page, chances are you’ll think of more things as you go, and you’ll start filling out description or dialogue or tone or action or whatever, and pretty soon the scene starts writing itself.
Not sure where you’re going with the scene or which ideas you wanna use? Use a lot of ambivalent language in your “thought-vomit draft.” My pre-writing notes are chock-full of the words “maybe,” “perhaps,” and the phrases, “At some point...” and “...or something like that.” In this way, I don’t tie myself down to one idea; it’s just an idea, and I’m keeping it on the page in case I use it, but I might chuck it in the trash or change it or whatever.
And then, once your ideas for the scene (or story, or chapter, or whatever) are on the page, then go back to the top and start translating them into a “real” first draft. Use black ink, and start copy-pasting chunks of the thought-vomit up into the top part of the document and translating them into Draft 1. Separate out paragraphs where paragraph breaks should be. Add the correct punctuation and whatnot. Change “describe the lobby here - include potted plants, fancy carpet, blood stain, etc.” into an actual description of the lobby. Flesh it out, or condense, or whatever it needs. And if you’re still stuck, change back to red ink and ramble some more until you find a path that feels right, then plug that in. This keeps you from looking at a blank page, and it allows you to generate a kind of Draft 0.5, somewhere between a plan and a first draft.
You don’t have to use every idea. Like I said, jot down whatever comes to mind, put a “maybe” before or after it, and keep working. If the idea grabs you and you wanna keep expanding on it and exploring it, cool. If you just wanna jot it down so you don’t forget it and then move on, also cool. Red-ink draft / “thought-vomit draft” is your time to jump around in the timeline, add or finesse details at whatever point your brain moves to, etc. Don’t try to do it exactly in story order, because you will get tangential thoughts and ideas, and you will not remember to write them down five pages later when you finally get to taking notes on that scene. Trust me. On that note...
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6) Write everything down the moment you think of it. Seriously.
“I’ll remember it when I get around to writing that scene in a couple days / weeks / months (/years).”
You won’t.
Write it down.
Phone, journal, google docs - hell, my family regularly laughs at me for grabbing a napkin during dinner and scribbling thoughts down alongside pasta sauce stains.
And then, once you have it written down somewhere...
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7) Consolidate your writing ideas in one place.
Maybe this isn’t really your style, and that’s totally chill.
Buuuut, if you’re Type-A like me - or if you tend to be somewhat unorganized and you know you’ll lose track of your writing notes if they’re scattered across multiple notebooks, journals, napkins, phone notes, etc. - having one consolidated document of notes is a life saver. I keep mine on Google Docs so I can access it, add to it, and look through it for inspiration anywhere at any time. When I have one of those Shower Thoughts that I jot down on my phone or on a napkin during dinner, I set myself a reminder on my phone to type it up in my Story Ideas document later.
(Or, if the idea I had was for a story of mine that I’ve already started planning / drafting / whatever, I put it in the document for that story instead of the Big Random Story Ideas doc. You get it.)
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8) Have other ways to collect and save writing ideas, besides just writing stuff down. If you like Pinterest, make pinterest boards of your characters or stories or settings or whatever. If you’re big into playlists, make a playlist for your character / setting / story / etc. Or both. Or something else. I’m not good at drawing, but maybe you are, and maybe you like to draw your ideas. Whatever form it takes, having another way to save ideas and think about your stories is invaluable.
_-_
9) Some writers can just start writing with no idea where the story is going, and they just kind of figure it out as they go. I envy those writers. And I do that sometimes for fanfiction, where the stakes are somewhat lower and the audience is reading more for scene-to-scene enjoyment (and to see their OTP kiss) than for a Driving And Compelling Narrative.
But here’s the thing: especially if you’re just kind of starting out, writing without some sort of plan is really, really hard, and will likely lead you into a slow, meandering narrative that will likely frustrate you.
Even if you think you’re someone that just can’t write with a plan (and again, I have the highest respect for pansters out there - I don’t know how you do it, you crazy bastards, but you keep doing you) - even if you think “I can’t work with plans, they’re too prescriptive, I just want to write and see what happens -”
Try at least making the most skeletal of plans.
Even if you have no clue what 90% of the story is, yet. That’s fine. But you need to have some idea of what you’re building to, even if that’s nothing more specific than a feeling, or a turning point for your character. Even if your entire plan for everything beyond Chapter 1 is, “At some point, Charlie needs to realize that Ed was lying to her.”
This is where those Draft 0.5 notes come in handy. Because, more than likely, working on your current scene that way will spark ideas for later scenes, which you can put down at the bottom of the document and save for when they become relevant. In my experience, the line between planning ahead and making a Draft 0.5 is exceptionally thin. One can quickly turn into the other.
If you’re really, really resistant to the idea of planning ahead, that’s okay. It’s not everybody’s style. But for the love of all that is holy, write down your ideas for future scenes, even if you’re a person that doesn’t like to plan and writes only in story order, because you will not remember that idea once you get to that scene.
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10) You don’t have to write in order.
Here’s the thing: I’m a person that can only do my Draft 1 in story order (meaning, chronological order). I just have to be in that flow; I need to write in story order for me to best channel where the character is at from scene to scene, both narratively and emotionally.
But my Thought Vomit Draft is another thing entirely. By using the brain hack of putting my notes in red (or another color, it doesn’t matter) and going down to the bottom of the document / page and taking notes there, and then integrating them into whatever plan I have, and then translating them into Draft 1 once I get there in the story - by doing that, I can get my good ideas onto the page (and expound upon them and let my muse carry me and ride that momentum while I’m in the moment of inspiration) without writing out of order.
Maybe that’s just me. But if you’re a person who really prefers to write in story order, that could be hugely helpful to you. It is to me.
_-_
11) Emotion and motivation will do more for your story than technicalities of plot.
If your characters really care about something, and their journey through the (shaky or weak) plot is emotionally engaging, it will be a much more compelling story than a story with a “perfect” plot and unrelatable or unmotivated characters.
If your characters care about what they’re doing, and it means something to them, and their goals and actions are driven by dreams or fears or emotions that are integral to who they are, your audience will care too. If you have a perfectly crafted plot that hits all the right beats and has high stakes and fast pacing and drama - but your characters don’t connect with what’s happening in a way that’s deeply meaningful or emotional for them? You’re gonna have a hard time engaging readers.
When in doubt, prioritize character emotion and motivation over plot. Emotion is what drives story.
This power is highly exploitable. (Just look at pulp novels and shitty but entertaining movies.) You can even use it to glaze over plot holes or reinvigorate a limp narrative. Use it that way sparingly, though. It’s a band-aid, not a surgery.
_-_
12) Evil villains are hard to write - mostly because there are very few truly evil people in the world. (There are a few. Billionaires and several big name politicians come to mind.) But by and large, there aren’t that many evil people. There are plenty of bad people, but bad people have some good in them, somewhere in there. Trying to write an evil villain is hard, because they often turn very cartoony.
Here’s a tip: it’s much easier to write antagonists who aren’t evil. Even if they’re bad people. Of course, there’s no reason you can’t write a villain that’s just truly evil - a serial killer, or an abuser, or a billionaire, or someone who legit just wants to hurt people or blow up the earth or stay in control of an oppressed population, or whatever. But chances are, it’s gonna be really hard to make them feel real, and even harder to create a plot around them that doesn’t feel forced or contrived.
Instead, try writing an antagonist / villain whose motivations and goals directly clash with your protagonist’s - but not because they want to take over the world or see people suffer. Write an antagonist who’s chaotic good, but whose perception of the situation is completely opposite from your hero’s. Write an antagonist whose only desire is to save people, and who will do anything to achieve that goal - anything. Write an antagonist who believes in the letter of the law, and will hinder and oppose the hero’s methods even if they agree with the hero’s motivation. Write an antagonist who got in way over their head and did some things they regret, and now they don’t know how to get out, and they’re doing their best but whatever they set in motion is too powerful for them to stop now.
Write villains who are human. Write a killer who thought they were doing the right thing by taking their victim out of the equation, who vomits at the sight of the body and sobs over the grave they dig. Write a government leader who truly believes she’s doing what’s best for her people in the long-term, even if it might hurt them in the short term, and is willing to endure the hatred and belligerence of the masses if it means securing what she thinks is a better future for her people. Write a teenage bully that thinks they’re the one being picked on by the world, and they’re just fighting back, standing their ground. Write a scientist who will break any code of ethics and hurt anyone he needs to - in order to bring back his baby sister from the grave, because he promised her he’d protect her and he failed. Write an antagonist who is selfish and self-centered and capricious - because in order to survive they had to look out for Number One, and that habit ain’t about to break anytime soon.
Write villains who aren’t even villains. Write antagonists who oppose the hero because of moral differences. Write antagonists who are trying to do the right thing. Write antagonists who treat the heroes with kindness and dignity and respect and gentleness.
They don’t have to be good. They don’t have to be Misunderstood Sweethearts who “deserve” a redemption arc. They can be cruel and nasty and dismissive and callous and violent and etc. etc.
Just hesitate before you make them Evil-with-a-capital-E. Because evil is hard to write, and honestly, boring to read. Flawed human beings with goals and motivations that directly oppose the main characters’ are much easier to write and much more interesting to read.
Ask why. Why is your villain trying to take over the world? What does that even mean? Are they trying to create a Star-Trek-like post-capitalism utopia, but they know that won’t happen in a million lifetimes, so they’re trying to do it by force? Are they actually super in favor of human rights, but they got very impatient waiting for the world to do anything about poverty and war, so they decided to take it into their own hands? Are they determined to fix the world - no matter the cost? Are they terrified and overwhelmed, but committed to see it through to the end? Or - maybe they’re just doing it on a dare. Maybe they don’t really give a shit about world domination, they were just a mediocre rich white guy who decided to fuck around and find out, and now he’s kind of curious how far he can take this thing. And now he’s kind of an internationally-wanted criminal, so he’s kind of stuck living on his hidden private island in his multi-billion dollar secret base, strapping lasers to sharks’ heads for the hell of it. Gross, selfish, uncaring, and dangerous? For sure. Evil? Depends on your definition. See, now we’re getting somewhere.
_-_
13) It’s tempting to let the plot control the characters. It’s easy to drop your characters into a situation and see how they react. But here’s the thing: that doesn’t drive plot. In fact, it bogs down pacing. Instead, try to build you plot off of your characters’ actions and decisions. Let your character build their own situation. Not to say it should go they way they wanted it to go; in fact, usually, their grand plans should go to hell very quickly. But having the characters take action and make decisions, and letting the plot develop based on that, is much easier to make compelling than making a rigid series of events and then trying to herd your characters into them.
_-_
14) Having trouble justifying a character’s actions? Consider having them make the opposite decision, or having them approach the situation in a different way. For example: you need your character to go meet the bad guy, for plot reasons, even though there’s no way it’s not a trap. If the character goes, readers are gonna be groaning with their head in their hands, because c’mon man, that was really fucking stupid. But he’s gotta go, because the plot needs that. Two ways you might handle this: a) He knows it’s probably a trap. He decides not to go. The plot conspires to get him near the villain anyway. Or, b) He knows it’s a trap. But he needs to go, for (insert reasons here). So, he approaches it in an unexpected way. He brings backup, recruiting a side character we met earlier in the story. Or he arrives on the back of a dragon, because ain’t nobody gonna fuck with a dude on a dragon. Or he goes - early, and ambushes the villain. It may work, it may not. He may get himself kidnapped anyway. But it moves the plot along without having Stupid Hero Syndrome.
_-_
15) This is a legit piece of advice: if all of this sounds overwhelming, literally just ignore it and write what you want. For real. Writing should be fun, and every single writer operates differently. If you’re sitting here like “I’m getting stressed just reading this,” just flip me a good-natured bird and get on with your life. I promise I won’t take it personally. Same goes for literally any other writing advice you see. Lots of rules and guidelines can very quickly make anything thoroughly un-fun. Just write. If you’re passionate about it and you do it for long enough, you’ll start figuring out the tips and tricks on your own.
_-_
16) Here’s the best piece of advice I can give you: know your characters. More importantly, know what’s important to them. Build their personality and decisions off of that, and build your plot off of their decisions.
I see a lot of character building sheets that ask a shit-ton of questions like “What’s their most prized possession?” “Do they like their family?” “What’s their favorite food?”
And while these are good questions, my problem with this type of character building is that if you start there, with the little stuff, you’re building on nothing. IMO, to make a truly strong character (not strong like Inner Strength, strong like effective), you need a strong foundation.
Here are the things you must know about your character:
a) What are their greatest fears / deepest insecurities? And I don’t mean “wasps” or “heights.” I mean the deep shit. I mean fears like “living a meaningless life,” or “turning out just like their parents,” or “that no one will ever love them,” or “being powerless.” You may say, “But they’re really scared of wasps! They fall into a wasp nest when they were little and got stung so much they almost died!” Great! That’s a fantastic bit of backstory. They should absolutely be afraid of wasps, and that should absolutely be an impediment later in the story. But dig deeper. What about that event actually scarred them? Was it the helplessness? Stumbling around, swatting at the air, not being able to do a single thing to stop what was happening to them? Was it that they were alone, and no matter how loud they screamed, no one was coming? Was it the bodily horror of feeling themself turn into an inhuman creature as they swelled up from the stings, unable to move their fingers or face normally anymore?
And don’t forget insecurities, because those factor in, too. Are they deeply insecure about their identity? Do they believe, deep down, that they’re ugly? Did they grow up poor and they’ve always been really touchy about that? Why? Dig deep. Figure out what really, really bothers them.
b) What are their hopes and dreams? What do they truly want out of life? What do they consider the most valuable to their experience here in this thing called life? Is it the freedom to forge their own path and be independent? Is it the approval of their family or peers? Is it a home? Is it knowledge, or understanding? Spiritual fulfillment? Is it deeply important to them that they contribute to their community, or protect those they love? What do they need in order to feel truly and deeply fulfilled in life?
Figure out those two things (each one encompasses several things, btw, you don’t have to stop at just one for each), and then use that to inform how they behave and the types of decisions they make within the story.
It also informs character behavior and personality.
Let’s say we have a character who’s afraid of helplessness. They’re probably gonna be the person that always wants to do something, try something, no matter how hopeless the situation seems. They’d despise just sitting and waiting, probably, because it makes them feel powerless. They might even be the person that makes rash decisions and acts impulsively and puts themself in danger unnecessarily, because in their mind it’s better than being at the mercy of fate. This is one way you could use a character’s personality to inform their decisions, which in turn helps to inform plot.
Or, let’s say we have a character whose greatest fear is being left behind or forgotten. We may have a chatterbox on our hands. They might be obnoxious. They might love the spotlight, constantly vying for attention no matter the situation, because deep down they’re so afraid that they’d be forgotten otherwise. Or, it may go the opposite way. They may be so afraid of people leaving them that they’re terrified of bothering people. They don’t want to do anything that could annoy people, anything that might give people a reason to leave them. They might be exceedingly polite, quiet, accommodating. A push-over, really.
These are two nearly opposite types of personalities, both stemming from the same core fear/insecurity. You can go a lot of different ways with it. But if you build on that strong foundation, you’ll have a strong character, and a stronger plot.
Likewise, the structure of your story can and should inform the design of these character traits. If you need your characters to team up near the end, it may be impactful if you give your main character a deep fear of commitment, an insecurity about being unwanted or left behind, and make them highly value independence and freedom. That could make their team-up for the final battle very meaningful. Conversely, you can use your character’s deepest fears and desires to help design the plot. Is your character deeply insecure about voicing their opinions or taking a stand, because of trauma they faced in the past? Make them face that. Build that into the climactic third act. Give them the big inspirational speech where they stand up and talk about what they believe to be important, what they think the group should do. And then design that character arc to run through the story, giving you more handholds and stepping stones, more pieces of foundation on which to design the plot.
In this way, character should inform story as much as story informs character. It’s a feedback loop.
Bonus: if you build your character and your plot off of each other in this way, it automatically starts to build in the foundations of that emotional investment I mentioned earlier. If your character’s decisions are based on what they most want and do not want in life, you basically have your character motivation and stakes pre-built.
Note: you need to know these things about your villain, too.
-_-_-
I’m genuinely sorry about the length of this, lmao. But you did ask.
Best of luck!
Edit: I forgot an important one:
17) Start when the scene starts and end when the scene ends.
What do I mean by that?
If your notes say “Danny asks Nicole out after school and majorly flubs it,” start the scene when Danny approaches Nicole after school. Better yet, cold-open the scene on “I was wondering if, you know, you’d wanna. You know. Hang out some time?”
Don’t start that morning when Danny goes to school, unless you’re gonna cover the school day in like one or two sentences. Don’t spend whole paragraphs going through the school day, unless it’s to cover other plot points first (in which case apply these same guidelines there), or if the paragraphs are there for a specific reason, like to illustrate how stressed he is and how it seems like every little thing is going wrong. Even then, trim the fat as much as possible. Expounding and describing everything Moment-to-moment is for the meat of the scenes, not the leading-up-to and coming-away-from.
Here’s my rule of thumb: study how and when movies cut from scene to scene. Movies have exceptionally strict, limited time for storytelling; they’re excellent examples of starting a scene when the plot point starts and ending when it’s over. If you can’t picture a movie showing everything you showed, start the scene later and end it earlier.
#asks#anon#writing advice#writing tips#writing#fanfic writing#fanfiction#character creation#plot development#character development#my advice#original writing
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HQ Middle blocker kinks <3
@xxxxtanaxxxx request hq kinks but middle blocker version please 🥺
I'm gonna be honest i wasn't gonna do this buuut here it is
i have a setter one in the works and here is the ace version!
here is the setter version <3
Characters: Tsukishima Kei, Kuroo Tetsuro, Suna Rintaro, Satori Tendo, Taichi Kawanishi, Issei Matsukawa, Takanobu Aone,, Shoyo Hinata, Lev Haiba Shugo Meian (MSBY captain), and Yutaro Kindaichi
Mentioned female anatomy, but mostly gn
content warning: consensual non-con, humiliation, public sex, exhibitionism, voyeurisms, degradation, bondage, sex toys, cockwarming, edging, soft priamal/prey, mentions of house break-ins, pegging, size kink, overuse of the word Daddy, face fucking, hickeys
i think thats all?
buckle up, this is gonna be looooong.
Tsukishima Kei
Degradation
This is a given, my mans has a mouth on him, AND HE KNOWS HOW TO USE IT
He says the most vulgar things in your ears (and you love it)
His nickname for you is Cum-dump, and he calls you that so much that you’ve started to respond to it. “Hey, Cum-dump! Come here” “ok Tsukki”
And when he’s cumming? A slew of insults just come out
“You whore, oh, you fucking cum-slut, you’d let anyone do this to you won't you”
And it's not limited to this!
“You're just a hole”
“You only exist for me to fuck, Right? You're just a glorified fleshlight”
“You're only good for sucking my cock”
“I should just leave you chained to the wall so I can fuck you anytime I want, that's all you're good at so you should love it”
It won’t even be only during sex
You could literally be just studying with him and he’ll just lean over and say “ you want to be fucked right now don't you? In front of all these people, I bet you’d love it Cum-dump”
Humiliation
Goes with a dirty mouth
He’ll flip your skirt while walking in front of groups of other students
He purposely sucks hickeys where your uniform does not cover and then laughs at you because you're just such a slut.
One of his favorite things to do is have you wear a vibrator in school, only on days where you have to do something in front of the class
No worries he has the remote and turns it alllllll the way up during the middle of your presentation, you just look so cute all red!
He’ll make it better!!
You can cum in front of the class, let everyone know how much of a whore you are!
Purposeful neglect
He wants you so horny you can’t think
If that means not giving you attention for FIVE DAYS so be it.
No touching yourself and if he finds out you did he’ll ignore you for longer and you don’t want that do you?
You will wait for him to touch you.
He’ll also just ignore you.
No begging, he doesn't care, he doesn't want to hear it.
Don't touch him, stop being a brat or you won’t get off for a whole week.
Bondage
It's all about control <3
Having you tied up and immobile is the best way to show how little you are.
He’ll tie you up and put you on the couch with a vibrator and just watch movies, unable to rock your hips
This seems cruel but he’ll tie your hands up and make you eat dinner with just your mouth <3
He’ll make you watch tv with a ball gag in
He’ll have a riding crop in his hands when you study and he’ll hit your little clit/silt with it every time you get a question wrong
Kuroo Tetsuro
Pet names
Literally any kind o endearment, but mainly switches between Kitten and Baby Girl/Boy(i am swooning right now)
He WILL call you these in front of people and out loud in public
He’s called you them in front of your parents in front of Kenma in the middle of the grocery store.
So you're wondering, why does that matter? People do that all the time!
Well, he calls you them so you remember how he completely ruined your little body and how his cum is still dripping out of you <3
And its cannon that he has a sexy voice, and it drops and gets deeper when he calls you them.
Thigh highs
It doesn't matter in you have the biggest thighs ever or just a bone, if you wear any kind of thigh highs (bonus points for Cat ones) he will be ready to bust a nut
It's not only him that gets off on them, especially when he takes them off
He’ll climb over you and use his teeth to pull them down to your feet and he’ll kiss and bite his way back up to do the other one.
He also will sometimes leave them on to rail you into your bed, when this happens he puts your legs over your shoulders and squishes his head between them.
(kuroo loves thighs, and that's that)
Caregiver
He's taken care of Kenma all his life, and you bet your ass he’ll do it for you
This means he gives the best aftercare you could imagine, I’m talking bubble baths
He’ll cook for you in nothing but an apron, and he’ll tease you when you get all flushed and cute!
You had a bad day? He’ll eat you out for hours until you’re all cuddly and tired.
He’ll fuck you slow where you need it and he’ll kiss all the pain away <3
He just loves having you dependent on him makes him so happy and thankful to have you!
Threesomes
Mainly for Kenma, but he let bokuto have a turn and even convinced Tsikki to give it a try!
He really just wants to show off that you’re his what better way to show you off then let some of them get a taste of something they’d never have.
Favorite position for this? Split roasting/ Eiffel towering
He's the one who you're sucking on, and he’s so far down your throat making him suck you deeper and deeper until you’re drooling all over his balls like a good Kitten
Whoever he sharing you with would be in you following whatever Kuroo tells them to do
Rub your clit? Yes Sir.
Faster. Yup
Slowdown Kittens being bad so she doesn't get to get off <3
Suna Rinatro
Purposeful neglect
Just like Tsukki, he wants you hot and bothered all the time
He will just sit around and scroll on his phone while you’re whining :(
Just let him watch this video and he’ll get you off!
Will never tell you but you just look so cute, all needy and horny for him.
Sometimes he’ll slip you a libido pill and just watch the world burn.
He will wait until you have ruined whatever shorts you’re wearing (and he’ll take them) and THEN he will help his poor needy baby
Cockwarming
Almost every time he games, he puts you on his dick
you already know it’s happening when he takes the controller out
He says it's because he doesn't want to “leave you out”
No moving on him though, if you8 move it could distract him and you do not want him to lose, losing means being pounded into the floor until you can't think, then being ignored the rest of the day “horny sluts can sit on the floor until they need to be used”.
But if all goes well, he’ll go soft in between rounds and will suck on your neck and will let you cuddle into him during the rounds
But when Suna if feeling a bit more adventurous he will put his headset on you and fuck you with all of his friends listening
And if that's not bad enough they all clearly know what’s happening id Osamus soft coo’s and Gin’s little comments (but it's not like they want it to stop anyway)
Edging
Will literally just do this out of nowhere
You thought you were finally gonna cum, then nothing
HE WILL just do things for hours to see you cry and begging or him to just let you cum
He’ll stick four fingers in you and bring you to your climax and just leave you on the edge
He won't even have a reason, you were being good, you let him play his game and he does this?
Que pouty bby
Video/Photography
We all saw this coming-
But he takes it a step further than just having a photo collection of you
He has a personal private story with just you in it where he put videos of you riding him or sucking his dick fo you to “see how slutty you are”
that's not even it, he sends you a picture of you naked in the middle of work, with no shame either
Thus one time you were showing a coworker a shirt you had bought and he texted you and the picture showed up. It was awkward for the next few days.
But these don't even compare to how he has an entire Instagram account (private of course) of your nodes and videos of the two of you fucking.
One extra little thing is that you both watch porn together for ideas.
Satori Tendou
(i could make him a post of his own-so so many kinks for Satori)
Humiliation (mentions of pee)
This can range from calling you names to making you touch yourself in public
He’s called you a pillow princess in the middle of class, in front of your teacher
It had gotten so bad they Ushijima had to ask what a “cum-dumpster was” because Satori had called you that in front of the team.
He doesn't even introduce you as his S/O, hw=e would call you an escort or that you were just his personal fuck toy.
This kink goes so far that when you were on a double date with Semi, under the table Tendo had his hand literally in your pants.
**One of his favorite things is to make you hold your pee in until you are almost peeing yourself, isn't that embarrassing that you're a grown adult who’s about to wet yourself?
Overstimulation
He wants to see you a complete mess all over him
The main goal of all of this is to make you squirt or begin to have dry orgasms
He will not stop until he’s happy or you say your safe word (which is rare)
One orgasm just isn't enough for him :/
And it's a big boost of confidence for him!
he‘s proud to know he can make you cum so much you cant even think!
Dacryphilia
This AND overstim?
Good luck
He can't even explain why it turns him on so much.
You just look so beautiful with tears streaming down your face all fucked out
It always hits him at the worst times too, you crying over a bad grade? A pretty tear falling over your soft cheeks. Hard.
Just watched a sad movie, he’s ready to pound you into the couch.
Anal
Oh ho ho
This can be one of two things, he does it because it feels good
OR
He does it as punishment
That means no lube
No adjusting to his dick
And no extra pleasure to help you get off
He’s so mean </3
Taichi Kawanishi
This man screams pornstar
Public sex
This man is unstable
You could just be walking in public and he just decides he wants to fuck.
Who are you to stop him?
Just let him get this out real quick you can shop later.
Exhibitionism
The thought of being in the open? This man loves it
And you don't really have a choice but to love it
Every time you go to the beach he just has his dick in you, in the ocean sitting in his lap while eating lunch
He doesn't even care who sees
Children? Who cares, look away or whatever
Getting caught
It doesn't even matter who it is
If someone walks in when you're doing it he’s cumming
It's just hot
He doesn't need to explain it to you
he also makes u take nudes and had them as his homescreen for a while
Issei Matsukawa
I’d let this man kill me-
Leather/ latex
LEATHER GLOVES
He wears them when he fingers you so he can make fun of how wet you made them.
He dresses you up in these pretty little pastel dresses (gender to heel, he doesn't care, you look hot weather your a boy, girl, or not) and he wears all black (goth daddy Mattsun) and his gloves to fuck you in his leather-covered fist.
That's not even it
He has an entire bin of different colored chokers and leashes just for his pretty baby
Along with that, he has a shelf of latex thigh highs for you to wear and even has an entire outfit for you to wear and show off to him.
Ddlg/b/n-Lifestyle
This is why he has a lot of things that you wear!
He loves to take care of you all the time!
He loves to make his baby food and love to watch movies with you
And you love him so much too!
You would do anything for Daddy!
And he takes you shopping and to restaurants, and if you want literally anything big or small all you have to do is look up at him with puppy dog eyes and a “Daddy, please!!” and boom his credit card is already out.
Size kink
Big dick Mattsun-
This all comes back to the fact that you are so beautiful
And big dick little hole, who doesn't love that??
He sure does, don't worry though he always makes sure to prep you
Except if it's punishment- he doesn't like it he swears! He’d never want to hurt you!
And you’d believe it until your crying on his cock and it throbs ://
But if it still hurts, and it does, he’ll let you go your pace and sink all the way down onto his cock<3
Fun fact the first time he went into your ass he tried to with no lube and you couldn't sit for DAYS
Voyeurism (receiving)
Makki Makki Makki
I would say he was into Cuckolding but its always him doing the watching while Issei fucks you
And Makki loves it too if his constant praises and coo’s said anything about it.
And Mattsun just gets off on the fact his best friend is watching something he’ll (maybe if you're not into it) never fully have
Mattsun also likes having you tied up an watching him fuck a fleshlight of just jerking off
You look so pathetic :)
extra for big dick mattsun, he Shows all of his friends <3
I am a whore for the Seijoh 4
You bet Makki has an entire folder of pic of you, whether they are of you dripping cum or just with your legs open.
Even if he says he doesn't save them, you know Iwa has gotten off you a recording of you moaning and asking for Daddy’s cock
And Oikawa is always asking for more (the little manwhore), he says they are “references” for him, liar, he jerks off to them in his bathroom.
Takanobu Aone
It's always the quiet ones-
I just gotta get these first two out-
Consensual non-con
I can just TELL he like to pretend to break into your house
Pretend you're so scared and you don't like it
Tying you up and listening to your little cries, awwwwweeee
You were just too pretty to ignore
Just let him have a taste, stop crying he knows you want it just as much as he does
Primal/prey
He wants to feel like he earned his reward
A perfect little trophy for him to use as a toy
His dick in your tiny dripping hole is all the reward he needs
It's like you're a pretty innocent bunny and he’s a big fox just waiting for the right time to strike :)
Soft sex/ praise
I know what I said up there
But none of that means he doesn't love just setting you down on the bed with candles and rose petals and just making love
Soft music in the background and worshipping every inch of your skin
You need to be vocal though!
Tell him how pretty he is when he cums, and how perfectly his dick fits in your hole!
Tell him how soft he looks and how he is making your nipples feel like heaven.
Aftercare- bc I am also soft for aone and he is a good guy
Bubble baths and chocolate
Movies and cuddling
All of this makes him so glad that he found you
Especially when you cuddle into him all sleepily and tired.
Shoyo Hinata
oh he is so pretty-
Mutual masturbation
It's the perfect way to experience pleasure
He can see you in all your glory
All of the faces he sometimes misses when he’s fucking you!
He also learns from it!
He sees the angle your fingers go to hit that sweet spot so the next time he’s in you he knows where to aim!
(he is so precious-)
Pegging
You wanted to try it so he almost immediately agreed-
But it felt good!
The two of you reserved what one you wanted so the one he picked was almost made for him.
Plus, you look ridiculously good with the strap on-
And he voices that as much as he can!
And sometimes when he rides the strap he just watches it going in and out and in and out
(you also think this is SUPER hot but won't tell him :/)
Riding
It doesn't matter if it's you or him
Watching you fall apart on his cock without him doing a thing makes him cum harder than anything
Sometimes he gets so excited that he comes before you and makes you stay there until he’s hard again, which doesn't take long at all.
when it's him?
he’ll go for hours just to hear you tell him how good he is and how pretty he looks
Lingerie
Especially pastel babydolls
But nothing you wear could ever make you look bad in his eyes
Ok he likes it when you keep the lingerie on too like he’s fucking you and you till have a little nightgown/crop top on
Lord he will BUUUUUUSSSTTT
Lev Haiba
Size kink
Unintentionally too
He didn't even know it, but he did know that he liked that you were so much smaller than him.
He likes to put your hand to him and just look at the difference and before he knew it he was painfully hard
On the occasion, he makes fun of you saying his dick is just too big for you and you can't handle it, but then you get on your knees and he shuts up real quick
Praise kink
A given
He wants to know how good he makes you feel at all times
It doesn't have to be words either!
loud moans explanations of pleasure all drive him to move faster and faster!
Even yelling “oh god!” gets him off
He makes you feel that good huh?
Wall sex
Just playing on the size kink thing
He loves to just pick you up and fuck with reckless abandon
Gets a way better angle too- bet you didn't think he would realize that
He also likes to watch the combination of your juices drip to the floor-
Shugo Meian (MSBY captain)
Sexiest team-
Daddy/ Captain kink
Just look at him, he screams Daddy louder than you do when he’s fucking you
He takes pride in being Captain meaning he’ll fuck you for hour if the word even falls from your lips
And yes you have said it (daddy) front of the team and he did get hard, and the both of you did fuck in the locker room of the gym for an hour before you got kicked out
Even in arguments you better call him daddy, he will stop and fuck you into the ground for it
Angry or not you WILL use his title
Spanking
Will threaten you with this almost everyday
He just uses it as an excuse to touch your ass
He makes you count after each one and makes you thank him
It would look a bit like this
“Five! Thank you Daddy!” “Good Baby, five more”
But that doesn’t mean when you really deserve it that he won't unleash the wrath of god onto your poor ass
But after he’ll kiss it all better and Daddy will reward you for taking your punishment well
Controlled orgasms
By this i mean that you wont cum unless he says so
And you have to ask
Aka “Daddy please let me cum, I really want to”
And depending on what he’s feeling maybe you’ll get to cum then
And if not you’ll have to wait like a good Girl/Boy and cum when he does, which could late literally forever.
but its better than disobeying his orders, which could lead to him completely pulling out and just jerking off to cum on you :((
Deepthroating/ Face Fucking
Nothing is better to him than coming home to you on your knees and mouth open and ready
But when he’s all pent up from practice and he sees you?
Rip your throat, you aren't talking for a few days
He’ll literally fuck your face no question
He’ll put his dick so far down your throat you could feel it in your stomach
Yutaro Kindaichi
Hate sex
He just makes everyone angry
And he gets off on it
You look so fucking delectable all red faced and angry
Makes him want to just slam into right then and there
Dom/Sub
Clearly he wants to be in control
Controlling someone is just such a turn-on for him
Looking all pretty doing exactly what he wanted you too <3
Hickeys
Wants to show off that you are his
What better way than marking up your neck with pretty bruises
Plus he likes how you get all shy when people look at them
#haikyuu smut#tsukishima kei#tsukishima x reader#kuroo tetsurou#kuroo x reader#suna rintarou#suna x reader#tendo satori#tendo x reader#tendou satori#tendou x reader#taichi kawanishi#kawanishi x reader#taichi x reader#issei matsukawa#matsukawa smut#matsukawa x reader#mattsun#aone takanobu#aone x reader#shoyo hinata#hinata x reader#lev haiba#lev x reader#lev haiba x reader#shugo meian#meian x reader#shugo x reader#kindaichi yuutarou#kindaichi x reader
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Purple and Yellow – j.oleksiak
• Jamie Oleksiak goes through heartbreak and challenges along with his daughter but then he meets a woman who seems to catch both their hearts •
a/n: ok this is NOT proof read at all I’m sorry but I knew if I went back and did that I’d end up hating it and not wanting to post it but I know y’all wanted it so here you go!
Word Count: 6.1k
Jamie knew he was going to Seattle, and he’d be lying if he said the proposition didn’t excite him, but once his name was inked on that paper, reality came crashing in. He had to up and move his daughter, she was only three, maybe it wouldn’t be that hard. But who was he kidding, everything is hard with a three year old. And how would he explain that they wouldn’t be able to visit mommy every weekend, just like they did every weekend since. That’s all that plagued his mind as he drove home from the airport, Ivy was waiting for him, but he knew she’d succumb to her sleepiness before he could get there. His parents already texting him with a picture of her half asleep on the couch.
Then, the cars on the other side of the road slammed on their brakes, the sound of tires spinning out made everything come rushing back.
“Is this the father of Ivy Oleksiak?” Jamie didn’t even have a chance to speak before the words came across the phone, “yes, who’s speaking?” Jamie replied, heart rate picking up at the soft sigh the woman let out. “Your daughter and Miss Cora Hadley were brought into Medical City from a car accident scene.” All she said were those words before he was rushing to his feet, “are they ok?” He asked quickly, never getting a pair of shoes on so quickly in his life. “Sir, I’m not–“ “Bullshit! Is my baby and my fiancé ok?” He snapped, based on the way she whimpered, a rather young woman on the other end of the line. “Your daughter will be fine, just some scratches, the car seat did it’s job.” She spoke slowly, her breath hitching. “I think it’s best you get here as quickly as possible.” She spoke carefully, and in that moment Jamie’s heart fell to his feet like an anchor, he could feel his stomach twisting and his eyes burning. He knew what those words meant. Then he thought of Ivy and that snapped him out of his daze, he had to get there, now.
Jamie pulled into his driveway safely this night, parking beside his parents car, a sigh escaping his lips, forcing the terrible memories from two and a half years ago away. He gathered his bags, and lugged them inside, smiling at his family all asleep in the living room. That made him forget that oh so familiar ache in his chest just a little bit more. He put his bags in the corner, those could wait, but right now all he needed was to hold his baby girl. He scooped Ivy up, smiling as she fluttered her eyes open just enough to see him. “Daddy.” She murmured, “hi bug.” He inhaled the scent of her toddler shampoo, his mom always taking care of her hair the best, brushing the detangler through the unruly hair she got from her father. “Sleep with you.” Ivy whined when he started heading for her room, normally he didn’t give in, not wanting her to be dependent on him to sleep, but he needed her tonight too. “Just tonight princess.” He gave in, bringing her to his room with him, where she fell asleep instantly when he placed her on the plush bed.
Jamie laid awake, staring at the ceiling for a little while, thinking of how he would tell Ivy about having to move. “I hope you’re proud of me.” He whispered out, his tears staying pooled in his eyes as he forced himself to calm down. “Sleep daddy.” Ivy complained, nuzzling closer to him. “Hold me.”
“Jamie.” Cora whispered, hoping he was awake despite the late hour, he grunted in response, being a light sleeper ever since he found out Cora was pregnant. “Hold me.” She demanded with a light tone, her back aching and stomach bulging as Ivy kicked around in there. Jamie blindly opened his arms for her, letting her settle into his chest. “Always.” He murmured, already half asleep as she sighed in content.
“Come here baby girl.” Jamie murmured at Ivy, letting her rest her head upon his chest, Ivy was a very cuddly little girl, the second she was comfortable with you, she’d be sitting in your lap and telling you stories and anything to be touching you. It was one of Jamie’s favorite things, especially when he came home from a roadie and all she wanted was to be held by him.
***
“Daddy!” Ivy called, she managed to climb onto the bathroom counter to brush her teeth but now she was too scared to get down, “daddy!” She shrieked again, Jamie’s eyes fluttered open as he quickly took in his surroundings, “daddy, I stuck!” Ivy called, this time sounding annoyed by his lack of response. He threw the blanket off as he knew where she was stuck, this was a common occurrence. He appeared in the bathroom doorway, arms crossed over his chest, “and just what do you think you’re doing?” Jamie asked his daughter as she made grabby hands for him, she grinned brightly at him, “I brushed my teeth!” She answered in a duh tone, she grabbed his face once he scooped her up, kissing the tip of his nose, and he the same to her, “I’m very happy you brushed your teeth, Ivy, but you know you’re not supposed to get on the counter, that’s why we got you a stool, remember?” He explained, for easily the tenth time in the past month. “I know.” She huffed, dramatically pushing her hair back, making Jamie chuckle as he walked down the stairs, hearing his parents talking in the kitchen.
“Well, good morning sleepy heads.” Alison teased as Ivy gasped at the sight of pancakes on the counter, Jamie shook his head with a smile, placing her on the seat beside his dad, “I’ll make you a special plate.” Richard quipped to the little girl, which really just meant drawing a smiley face on it with whip cream. “Thanks mom.” Jamie gave his mom a kiss on the cheek before shuffling around to get his coffee, desperately needing the sleep kicked out of his system. “When are you going to tell her?” Alison asked, taking a small bite of her food, giving her son the side eye when he hesitated. “Today.” He gave in, knowing he absolutely had to start packing now, otherwise it would never be done in time. “So, Ivy, do you have any plans for today?” Alison shifted her attention to her granddaughter, figuring they could take her out to do something so he could get more done. “Gonna go see momma!” She cheered, some syrup smeared around her mouth.
Jamie froze, it was Saturday already, he checked his phone and felt humiliated that he had forgotten his promise to take Ivy to the cemetery. Evidently the panic was written across his face when both his parents stared at him. “Why don’t grandma and I bring you? We haven’t been there in a while.” Richard offered, rubbing Ivy’s back when she looked to Jamie for permission. “I think that would be nice, right baby?” Jamie finally found his voice, and Ivy nodded brightly, anytime she got with her grandparents was cherished. “Daddy coming to?” She asked, tilting her head as he sipped on his coffee, “I’ve got some work to do, alright, I’ll go next time.” He assured her, shooting his dad a thankful look as he quickly changed the subject before she could pester on any further.
“Ivy, I need to talk to you.” Jamie announced, he couldn’t wait any longer, he had to do it and be done. Alison nearly choked on her coffee and Richard looked at his empty plate like it was suddenly the most interesting thing. Ivy nodded, munching away on her pancakes, not understanding the severity of what was about to be said.
Jamie cleared his throat and pulled out the chair beside her, “you know how I had to go away to this new place for work, yeah?” He reminded her, “Seattle.” He said, and she nodded, “Seattle.” She repeated, not entirely perfect but good enough. “I got a job over there.” He spoke, waiting to see what she thought. “Hockey?” She asked, confusion lacing her tone. “Yes, still hockey.” Jamie chuckled softly, “it’s with a new team.” He paused, glancing away for a second, “we have to move there.” He concluded. Ivy nodded slowly, “new house?” She asked, she might be young, but she knew that moving meant not in this house. “Yeah, new house, new city, new people.” Jamie explained, panicking when she went wide eyed, “what about uncle Ro-Ro?” Ivy asked, referring to Miro, she was closest to the young defenseman as she always saw him beside her dad on the ice. The nickname had been dubbed upon him when she was learning to speak and liked to repeat things. “We can visit, baby.” Jamie spoke softly, heart breaking as she began to sniffle. He could practically see the wheels turning in her head, he knew the realization was coming. “But Momma!” She sobbed.
And that completely shattered his heart.
“I know.” He picked her up, feeling her sob into his neck, “momma.” She whimpered, though she didn’t remember her, Jamie made sure to keep her an important part of her life. Ivy didn’t know that she loved going to a gravestone that much until this moment. “Hey, look at me, bug.” Jamie demanded gently, situating her to be in front of him. He sat her on the countertop and stood in front of her, “momma will always be with us, right? Isn’t that what I always say?” He explained to her. Ivy nodded slowly, she was so young but always acting older, trying to wrap her head around this. “Yeah.” She mumbled sheepishly, cheeks red and eyes puffy, she felt shy under the gaze of her grandparents. “It’s alright, daddy’s sad too.” He assured her, lowering his head to be eye level with her. She stared into his eyes, reminding him so much of Cora in that moment, and once again she kissed the tip of his nose. “No sad daddy.” She demanded, drumming her fingers on his cheek. He pecked her forehead, “alright baby.” He agreed, if she could do it, so could he, right?
***
Ivy slept the whole plane ride, which is what Jamie was hoping for as they would be meeting the moving truck at the new house, plenty of things to be done asap.
“Come on Ivy.” Jamie mumbled, carrying her off the plane as she groggily woke up, looking around slightly confused until she remembered what was going on today. “Daddy, Seattle?” She asked, lifting her head from his shoulder, he chuckled, lowering her so she wasn’t so high up on his chest. “Yeah, Seattle baby.” He assured her, her pigtails bouncing as she looked around rapidly. He smiled at her reaction to the airport alone.
“What do you think, Ivy?” Jamie asked, raising his eyebrows as the three year old spun to face him. “Love it!” She squealed, her room was twice as big in this place than her bedroom in Dallas, and Jamie told her she could pick whatever color (within reason) to have her walls painted. Of course she would love it here. Jamie looked around their new-but-empty-house one more time, sighing as he could picture Ivy growing older in this house.
Time to make it a home.
“Hi.” Ivy grinned up at one of the movers as he placed a stack of boxes in her room, Jamie just being outside the door heard her speaking, he raised an eyebrow waiting to hear the guy speak. “Hello.” The young guy spoke sweetly, chuckling at the little girl. “I’m three.” She spoke, “how old are you?” She asked, Jamie held in a snicker as he walked in. “Ivy, leave him alone, bug.” He laughed softly, the guy taking it as his excuse to go get more boxes. “Ugh.” She huffed, flopping down on her bed dramatically, Jamie rolled his eyes, looking around. “What color do you want?” He asked the opinionated little girl, he sat beside her, smiling as she stood next to him, being eye level with him. “Hmm, purple!” She gasped, looking around the currently beige room, Jamie nodded slowly, “light purple.” He countered, knowing she would want to choose the darkest shade. “Fine.” She giggled, “we can go tomorrow, alright? Today we need to focus on finding all your stuff.” He tickled her sides.
***
Ivy was tugging on Jamie’s hand, somehow spotting the paint section quicker than he could. “Slow down!” He laughed heartily, his daughter shooting him a glare as he purposely slowed his feet down. He hoisted Ivy up to see the purple swatches along the top row, she reached for a dark one, just like Jamie knew she would. He sighed, “Ivy, we agreed on light purple, what about this one?” He offered, grabbing a lavender type color, she grunted in disgust, shaking her head dramatically, her blonde curls hitting his face. “Love this one.” She pouted, holding it in front of his face.
Jamie held in a sigh as you walked past him, stopping to look at paint swatches as well. “What about this one?” Jamie compromised, it was darker than he wanted to go, but still light enough to not feel like a dungeon. Ivy’s lip began to quiver, quickly catching both Jamie and the woman’s attention. “Ivy.” Jamie sighed softly, you intervened, “you know, I wanted a dark purple room when I was your age too.” You spoke to Ivy, catching her attention as she lifted her head, Jamie shifting slightly, giving you a smile. “My dad wouldn’t let me do it.” You made a face, getting a giggle out of Ivy, “he was right though, but guess what we compromised?” You mused, holding your hand out for the paint swatches that Jamie had. He handed them over with ease, “we painted one wall, dark, the wall I had my bed on, and the rest we did light.” You explained, Jamie giving Ivy a bright smile when she looked at him like it was the greatest idea ever. “We can do that, Ivy.” He agreed, and you giggled, “glad I could be of help.” You added.
“Thank you,” Jamie paused, waiting for a name. “Y/N.” You told him, smiling at the pair, “and your name is?” You asked, already figuring the little girl's name was Ivy. “Jamie.” He introduced himself. “What are you painting?” Ivy asked boldly, not one to talk much around new people, Jamie set her down so she could look at other colors, amused by her sudden interest. “I’m painting my dining room.” You answered, squatting down to her level, “do you have any color suggestions?” You asked Ivy. Jamie gave you a look that said you really don’t have to entertain her but you just gave him a smile. “Yellow.” Ivy announced, looking at the wall and grabbing actually, a very nice swatch, it was just yellow enough. You tilted your head as you looked at it, imagining it in your space. “That’s a very pretty color, Ivy.” You told her, smiling brightly as she blushed, handing you the color sample. “Thank you, Y/N.” She spoke politely, even though the words didn’t come out perfectly, it was a great attempt. “You’re welcome.” You stood to your full height, shocking Jamie by walking over to the counter to order the paint, no hesitation that a random little girl picked it out.
“You don’t have to-“ Jamie started to say, but you shrugged, giving him a happy smile, “I just got a new place, a fresh start, yellow seems fitting.” You told him. Jamie gave you a lopsided smile, if only you knew he was doing the same. “Daddy, this ones.” Ivy gasped, giving him two swatches, he chuckled at her grammar, squatting down to her level, “you’re sure?” He asked, he knew after all it was just paint, and if it turned out so terrible, they could paint over it but he didn’t want to have to do this twice. “This one looks like momma's dress!” Ivy explained, Jamie looked at the dark purple in his hand, instantly remembering Cora in that dress, Ivy’s favorite picture of her that she kept in her room. Suddenly her color choice made sense, you couldn’t help but eavesdrop, your heart stopping at Jamie’s next words. “Yeah, I think momma would have loved this.”
Was she… dead? You tried to knock the thought from your head, they were so young, but you knew accidents happened. You quickly looked away as Jamie stood back up, “here you go ma’am.” The teenager behind the counter spoke, you took the gallon from him, shooting him a smile. “Have a good day.” You told him, offering Jamie and Ivy a wave. “Will I see you again?” Ivy asked, Jamie nearly had heart failure right there as you stopped and giggled. “Oh I don’t know sweetheart, Seattle is a really big city. But don’t you worry, if I ever see you out and about I’ll be sure to say hello.” You assured her, watching as she got all giddy and slightly hid behind her father again. “Bye.” You told him, biting the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling any wider. “Bye, Y/N.” He mumbled, seeming a little dazed as he made his way up to the counter.
***
It had been nearly a week in the new house, the walls were done, almost everything was unpacked and they were starting to feel a sense of normalcy. Jamie loved the neighborhood they ended up in, a true mix of all different people, yes their house was rather large, but it was still homey. The community was sprawling, having a little bit of everything, stand alone homes, townhomes, even some condos, there were plenty of kids around which made him feel good about his choice as he followed Ivy down the road as she rode her bike. “Slow down, Ivy.” Jamie cautioned as she was getting a good bit ahead of him, she huffed dramatically and slowed down, waiting for him to catch up. She was looking around at the houses, confused as to why they were attached, even though Jamie had explained it to her plenty of times. Ivy gasped so loudly, that you could hear it from your front lawn where you were spray painting a piece of furniture. You glanced over and did a double take.
There was absolutely no way, you refused to believe you were actually seeing this, then you saw Jamie and you were convinced the universe either loved you for letting you see him again, or hated you, as you were in ratty old painting clothes.
“Ivy!” You grinned, laughing when the little girl flew off her bike, letting it fall sideways, making Jamie groan, “hi Y/N!” She squealed running up your lawn. You smiled brightly as she hugged your leg, “Ivy.” Jamie called, giving you an apologetic smile but you shrugged it off. “Did you paint your room?” You asked the little girl as she pulled away, a pink tint to her cheeks, she nodded, her blonde curls bouncing in her ponytail. “Yay, that’s great!” You cheered, Jamie walked up behind her, “hi, Y/N. How are you?” He asked, his daughter leaning back against his legs as you two spoke. “Good, been busy making this place my own.” You laughed, motioning to the small townhome behind you. It was your first solo place, and you absolutely adored it, even if it needed some work. “Yeah, you always forget how much work it is moving into a new place.” He agreed, chuckling softly. “Did you do yellow?” Ivy asked, rocking on her feet. “I did.” You assured her, “would you two like to go in and see it?” You asked, cringing internally as you waited to look up at Jamie. “Sure.” He answered, grabbing his daughter's hand, following you inside.
You led them to the dining room, giggling as Ivy gasped, “so pretty!” She cheered, the yellow paid off, it made the space feel much more happy. “All because of you.” You told her, she asked if she could look at the pictures you had sitting on the entry table and you gave her a quick nod, giving you and Jamie a chance to talk. “Same neighborhood? If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were stalking me.” You teased him lightly, getting a hearty chuckle out of him. “It is quite the coincidence.” He agreed, he felt butterflies in his stomach for the first time since he had met Cora.
It absolutely terrified him.
***
It had been a few weeks since that day, and you’d seen Ivy outside playing with another woman, Jamie not to be seen. You came out to grab your mail as she went riding by, “hi, Y/N!” She called, continuing to pedal away. “Hi, Ivy.” You spoke, you went over and introduced yourself to the girl, Taylor, finding out she was her babysitter. “Jamie must go out pretty often.” You commented to her, she shook her head, “oh no, he never goes anywhere without Ivy aside from work.” Taylor told you, “he plays hockey, I'm surprised you didn’t know that.” Taylor added, smiling as Ivy came up to the two of you. “We should be going, it’s almost dinner time.” Taylor spoke, she couldn’t be older than 20. You gave them both a smile, “yes! You don’t want to miss that.” You chuckled, bidding them a goodbye before going inside and googling Jamie.
What you found shocked you.
Jamie Oleksiak taking personal time to mourn loss of fiancé.
Jamie Oleksiak, will he be able to balance a professional career and a baby?
Will he bounce back from this?
You clicked the first article, bracing yourself as it loaded.
The date was from almost three years ago, you scrolled down and began to read…
Jamie Oleksiak has announced the sudden passing of his fiancé, Cora Hadley. Together they shared a daughter Ivy, who was also involved in the incident, she is expected to make a complete recovery.
A close friend tells us it was a severe car accident.
Our condolences to the family.
You clicked away from the article as tears burned your eyes. That was terrible. You read some of the other articles and only grew mad at how the reporters belittled his pain, only talking of how poorly his game play had been since then. And though you’d never wish that kind of loss on anyone, you know they wouldn’t be writing like that if they had felt it.
***
You and Jamie exchanged numbers, citing that it was for “neighborhood emergencies” you giggled at the thought as he was currently asking you what he should get Cora for the upcoming Christmas.
She’s the pickiest three year old ever, everyone always tells me that.
Well, what does the pickiest three year old ever like to do?
She’s either riding her bike and getting absolutely filthy or she’s inside playing dress up and being a little princess
Princess car?
They make those?!?
Oh, Jamie, I really need to take you shopping 🤦♀️
Tell me when and I’ll be there…
You tell me hot shot, you’re the one that plays hockey for a living.
How did you find out?
Google is a powerful thing… just kidding, Taylor told me.
Of course she did
Saturday afternoon? My parents will be in town and they want to take Ivy out for the day, so it’s a perfect excuse.
You know where I live, see you then!
He started typing, but then the dots went away and you never received another message.
You brushed it off, feeling butterflies in your stomach for the first time in years as you thought of merely shopping with Jamie for Christmas.
****
“You like him!” Your friend gushed to you as you spoke on the phone while getting ready, “no!” You rushed, only proving her point more. “Y/N, really.” Your friend, Amanda, spoke. “There’s nothing wrong with that, he’s clearly attractive and he’s a dad! He’s not going to be a jerk that just messed around with girls! It’s great.” She rambled, you sighed, pulling your jeans on with a little jump, “his fiancé died, Amanda. He could very well not be over that yet, and I wouldn’t blame him.” You explained, she went silent, “well you left that part out, how was I supposed to know.” She mumbled sheepishly. “It was almost three years ago, their baby was only six months old.” You whispered, cursing when your doorbell rang down the stairs. “Shit, shit, I have to go Amanda!” You rushed, hanging up as soon as she said bye. You adjusted the sweater you had on as you rushed down the stairs, careful not to fall flat on your face. You grabbed your purse as you walked past the counter, yelping as you stumbled and landed on your butt. So close.
“Y/N? Are you alright?” Jamie called, hearing the thud, “yes, yeah, just a second.” You called out, wincing as you stood up, that was definitely going to hurt later. You finally, finally reached the door and unlocked it, pulling it open and giving him a bright smile. “Did you fall?” He asked instantly, bursting into laughter when your face went blank. “We’re not going to talk about that Jamie.” You chastised, stepping onto your little porch to leave with him. “Sorry, sorry.” He chuckled, giving you a once over as you locked the door. “Is Ivy excited to be with your parents today?” You asked him, Jamie laughed under his breath, “so excited, she didn’t even care that I was going out.” He told you as he opened the passenger side door of his truck for you. “Thanks.” You mumbled as you slid in, your heart pounding in your chest. He shut the door and made his way around the truck as you adjusted in the seat.
“So, where to?”
****
Jamie was shocked and grimacing at the price of the princess car that he and you both knew Ivy would love. “Is she the type to give up on new toys quickly?” You asked, tilting your head as you both stared at the display, he shook his head as gave in. He had been leaning against the shelves and as he walked away you noticed his phone had fallen out of his pocket, you picked it up so no one would steal it as you waited for him to come back with a cart, and hopefully someone to help him with the box because it was not something you’d be much help with. His phone began to ring in your hand, the contact flashing across the top said mom, you let it ring, you’d tell him as soon as he came back. As soon as it stopped it was ringing again, you panicked and swiped to answer it, worried that something had happened to Ivy. “Hello?” You spoke into the phone, hearing Ivy wailing in the background. Fuck.
“Who is this?” His mother rushed, “I’m Y/N, Jamie forgot his phone he’s walking around the store– is everything alright?” You asked, cutting straight to the point, “no, we’re going to the emergency room, Ivy fell at the park and I think she broke her arm.” His mother rushed, and thankfully you saw Jamie approaching, “Jamie!” You shouted, rushing over, he furrowed his eyebrows seeing you on his phone.
“It’s your mom.” You rushed, giving it to him and you could see the wheels turning in his head as he listened to her speak over Ivy crying. “Shit, alright I’ll meet you there.” He told her, shooting you an apologetic look. “Go.” You assured him, he shook his head grabbing your hand and pulling you along, he wasn’t going to leave you stranded in a department store. “Sorry, he’ll purchase it another day!” You called to the employee who had a blank look on his face. “Let me talk to Ivy.” Jamie demanded after his mom had said something else, “daddy, it hurts!” Ivy got out between cries as his mother held the phone to her ear. “I know, princess. I’ll be there soon alright? I promise.” He assured her, finally releasing your hand as he realized he’d been holding it this whole time.
He managed to get off the phone so he could drive to the hospital, repeatedly apologizing for you being stuck with him and that this happened. “I was going to take you to lunch and ugh I’m just sorry.” You raised an eyebrow at his ramblings as you guys got stuck at a red light less than a mile from the hospital. “Jamie, stop apologizing. She’s your daughter, she always comes first, that’s how it’s supposed to be.” You soothed him, he glanced over at you, nodding softly, “reschedule the lunch?” He asked, despite the panic in his head, he still wanted to make sure you saw that he was interested in you.
“Yeah, we can reschedule, let’s just go see your baby.” You leaned over the center console, kissing his cheek as the light changed, doing a little happy dance in your head at how he blushed deeply at your actions.
“Family only.” The nurse remarked as you were about to follow Jamie to the room Ivy was in. He gave her an incredulous look, “it’s fine, go.” You assured him, pulling away from him to stay in the waiting room. He hesitated but went along, disappearing behind the doors as you picked a seat in the corner, making sure you had a sight line to the doors he went through. Over an hour went by as you sat there, scrolling through your phone, not hearing from Jamie, which you assumed was because he was being bombarded with questions of the girl who answered his phone, while also dealing with Ivy who was not going to enjoy the process of getting a cast.
Your phone chimed with a text just as you had finally decided to get off of it,
Finishing up now, sorry if my parents are a lot
You chuckled at the message, making sure you had all your items, including the little stuffy you’d bought at the hospital gift shop during your time sitting here. You stood up as you saw them walking out, Ivy draped over Jamie’s chest, half asleep with her head on his shoulder. “Y/N, it’s so nice to meet you.” His mom spoke, offering her hand, you repeated the sentiment, as well as with his dad. “Ivy.” You whispered, placing a hand on her back, holding the small stuffed animal in your hand, “I got you a little gift for being such a big brave girl.” You mumbled, she shifted to look at you with her puffy eyes, and pout settled deep on her lips, “thanks.” She whispered, taking it and holding it close to her chest, she kept her eyes on you as you walked behind Jamie, keeping up a conversation with his parents. And he was right, they were kind of a lot, but you pushed through, smiling when Ivy finally fell asleep in the car.
You sat in the back with Ivy, Jamie insisting you didn’t have to but you wanted to. “She handled it pretty well.” Jamie commented as he glanced back to see her asleep with her hand in yours. “She’s a tough little thing.” You agreed, glancing over at him, he gave you a heartwarming smile. “Thanks for coming with me today, I know it didn’t go to plan, but it was nice, you know… before she broke her arm.” He trailed off, pulling into your driveway to drop you off. You carefully pulled your hand from Ivy’s, she didn’t budge as she was exhausted from today.
Jamie got out to say goodbye, surprising you with a quick kiss to the cheek and a promise of that lunch date.
***
“Did some research?” You asked teasingly as Jamie took you to your favorite restaurant, you gave him a sideways glance as he parked the truck, “I may have had some assistance.” He shrugged, making you realize that’s why Ivy was grilling you the other day, when you had offered to watch her since Taylor was unavailable. “You two are trouble.” You quipped, watching him slip out wordlessly before opening your door for you. “But I’m a gentleman.” He reminded you, “a very good one at that.” You agreed, steadying yourself with his shoulders when you hoped down. “I’m going to kiss you now.” He declared, had you not wanted to kiss him so badly you would have teased him for the nervousness in his voice, but you simply looped your arms around his neck and let him sweep you off your feet with a wonderful first kiss.
The first of many.
***
Two months, and many, many, sneaky dates and stolen kisses later…
You were over at Jamie’s house, having dinner with him and Ivy, you and Jamie had gone out here and there, but most of your time was spent together with Ivy, and that’s what told him that you were the girl he needed to hang on to. Jamie wanted to take tonight to explain to Ivy that you two were dating, but he was scared, petrified even, that she would become upset and confused. You kept telling him nothing had to be done yet if he wasn’t ready, but he was, he swore he was.
“What’s your favorite color?” You asked Ivy, dinner was long gone and you were playing a game of twenty questions, she wasn’t entirely aware of that but she was having fun nonetheless. “Purple! Like my mommas.” She declared, you gave her a smile, glancing over at Jamie to see how he handled it. Many conversations had happened between you two about the loss of Cora, you never wanted to rush him, and as he only gave Ivy a proud smile, you could tell he was truly ready to start the next chapter of his life again. You liked to think Cora was proud of him, for choosing you to be in their life.
“What’s yours?” Ivy countered back, giving you an inquisitive look, the closer she got to age four, the more like Jamie she seemed, and it always made you chuckle. “Yellow.” You told her, watching as she grinned, Jamie winked at you as you turned sheepish under their gaze. “Because of me?” Ivy gasped. “Yes, because of you.” You giggled, welcoming her hug when she bounced over to you. “Ivy, do you know what it means when people are dating?” Jamie asked his daughter as she stayed seated on your lap, she rested her elbows on the table, holding her head in her hands. “No but you said I’m not allowed to do that.” She spoke in a serious tone, sending you into a hysterical fit of laughter, not expecting her to be so blunt. Jamie tried not to but he joined you with a deep laugh, tipping his head back as Ivy grew impatient. “Ok, besides that.” Jamie cleared his throat, “when I say I’m dating someone that means that I really really like them and I want them to be part of our life.” He explained as best he could, you smiled from behind her at his words. Encouraging him to go on.
“Y/N and I are dating.” He spoke officially, you both held your breath as you waited for her reaction, she turned and looked at you, and then back to her dad. “You love her!” Ivy grinned, sending Jamie wide eyed and you into a wide smile as he blushed, “you love my daddy!” Ivy gasped turning to you, now he was the one grinning as you opened and closed your mouth trying to find the words to say. You gave her a nod, “well, it’s a bit more complicated than that when you’re our age, but yes.” You agreed with her, Jamie grabbed your hand from across the table, giving it a squeeze as Ivy climbed off your lap and started dancing around.
This had gone so much better than he had hoped.
When he was tucking her in that night while you were waiting for him on the couch, she said a few words that made him one hundred percent sure that everything was going the way it should, and that Cora even played a hand in this. “Can I have two favorite colors daddy?” Ivy asked, looking up at him sleepily as he pulled the blanket up her body, she was clinging to the stuffy you’d bought her. “Of course, bug.” He assured her, thinking that was that, but as he kissed her forehead she said, “purple and yellow are my favorites.” By the time he pulled his head back, her eyes were shut and her breathing was evening out. “Yeah, I think those are my favorites too.” He whispered.
Taglist: @boqvistsbabe @tortito @2manytabsopen @heybarzy @barzysreputation @yzas-stuff @iwantahockeyhimbo @hockeyunits
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Landslide | Mark Lee
summary: time makes you bolder. even children get older, and i’m getting older too.
words: 7.1k+
category: teacher!mark, single parent!reader, fem!presenting!reader, graham is the sweetest kid, mark is that teacher that lets kids pick earthworms during recess, friends to lovers, mark’s apartment is flooded so now he has to live in domestic bliss with his secret crush oh nooooo
warnings: talk of absent fathers
author note: it’s my birthday tomorrow so i wanted to give u all a present for supporting me for so long!! here’s to you <3 (cross-posted on /honklore)
Mark helps one of his kids press their palms onto the wall. When they release their palm, pink paint remains, making a sort of leaf to the tree branches painted onto the wall.
“Now write your name,” Mark advises another kid, whose orange paint had already dried.
“G-R-A-H-A-M,” the boy writes out with a large permanent marker. “Can I take a picture? For my mom?”
All the rest of the children begin to shout their agreements, also wanting to bring home a picture for their parents. Mark grabs his yellow Polaroid camera and takes a picture of each handprint.
He keeps all of the pictures in the chest pocket of his denim jacket. “Okay, guys— to the sink! Whoever has the cleanest hands gets to help me pass out snacks!”
“Why are we having snack time so early?” It’s Graham that asks, the little one always eager to be around Mark.
Mark ignores the boy’s paint covered hands poking at his clean jacket, and answers him as politely as he can. “Mr. Lee forgot his lesson plans today, so we’re going to watch a movie instead.”
“A movie?” Graham’s eyes widen.
“Yep,” Mark giggles. He crouches down to Graham’s level and whispers, “You wanna pick it?”
“Nature Nut!” Graham cheers almost immediately, causing Mark to wince.
Ah, yes, the wonderful little DVDs of a lonesome man teaching the watcher about bugs and weird types of slugs. Mark actually has the entire collection, and Graham happens to adore them just as much as Mark did when he was a kid.
“Alright, go wash your hands and I’ll get it started.”
It’s a little girl named Hana who cleans her hands the best, so she passes out organic fruit gummies to everyone while Mark puts in the DVD.
While they watch the video, Mark checks his text messages.
There’s one from Taeyong: “I’ve already got Haechan on the couch. Sorry, man. You can have the floor, but it’s not gonna be comfy :(“
Right. Mark forgot that Haechan lives in the same complex as him. His apartment is probably just as flooded as Mark’s is. Now if the landlord would just answer his calls and help him... maybe this situation wouldn’t be so stressful.
Mark didn’t forget his lesson plans; they’re just submerged in his bedroom with everything else Mark has left lying on his carpet. And maybe it’s his fault for not buying more storage bins, but a studio apartment can only hold so much stuff.
Serves Mark right for doing his lesson plans at home instead of at the school like most of his fellow kindergarten teachers.
He lets out a quiet sigh, careful not to disturb the children. He only has a short list of friends left to ask, and while he doesn’t think they’ll mind him asking, he really hates to put anyone in that position.
Besides, most of his friends have roommates or significant others and Mark doesn’t want to ruin their routine. He’d hate to intrude. And he could always sleep in his car for a few days, but the amount of stuff he had to pack because of the flooding has barred any chance of a good night’s sleep.
The video ends, and Mark gets the kids seated with coloring pages until their parents arrive.
One by one, he I.Ds the parents and tells the kids goodbye, helping them put on their coats and take home whatever library book they picked out earlier.
Finally, there’s only one kid left, and Mark is a bit embarrassed of his hyper-awareness to Graham. It’s not even his fault, really. Graham just has a beautiful mom, who happens to be Mark’s beautiful friend, and sometimes Mark gets eager to see you during pickup time.
Whatever. It’s no big deal.
The kindergartener already has his coat on. His curly brown hair is almost unruly as he continues to work on his coloring sheet.
Mark pulls at the hem of his sage sweater sleeves and wonders if his hair looks okay. Maybe he should invest in a little desk mirror; or maybe that’s vain.
“Hey, Mark! Sorry I’m late!” You rush in, holding on to your leather messenger bag. You fix your glasses before they fall off the bridge of your nose, and Mark is so focused on the movement that he almost forgets about your child.
Until said child is scolding his mother. “Mom! You have to call him Mr. Lee! It’s rude to call him Mark!”
“Your mom is an adult,” Mark reminds Graham (as soon as he finds his voice.) “Since she isn’t a student, it’s okay for her to call me Mark.”
Graham pinches his lips together, and then shrugs. “Fine. Mom, we watched Nature Nut today.” He runs up to you and wraps his arm around your middle. “Can we go to the park and look for slugs?”
“Sure,” you giggle. “But we need to get home soon, okay, Bud? I have to make dinner and then we have to clean up the mess we made last night.”
Graham turns to Mark and smiles naughtily, like the trickster he often is. “Mom said I could tear up her papers last night. She said it’s There-pee.”
“Ther-a-py,” you emphasize for the five-year-old.
Mark studies your face, and he can tell that you seem a little more stressed than usual. “Therapy, huh?”
You smile sheepishly. “Well, when your son catches you tearing up old love notes, you have to let him in on the fun, right?”
“You are a team,” Mark acknowledges. He wants to ask more; wants to dig into your heart and extract whatever is hurting you, but your son is standing between the two of you, waiting for him to say goodbye. Mark clears his throat and picks at his sweater again. “Anyways, uh, text me tonight? Let me know you two got home safe. And, I’ll see you both tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” you breathe. You smile at him and then take Graham’s hand. “Thanks, Mark. I’ll text you.”
Mark spends the night at a motel down the road. He texts a few of his friends and hopes for good news in the morning, or at least a confirmation from his landlord.
When you text him, a little selfie of you and Graham, holding up what looks like microwaved s’mores, his heart grows fond, and he forgets about his own problems for a moment.
-
Life has never been very easy for you. From the get-go, you have always been destined to fail, growing up with an absent father and an overworked mother. With a dead-end dream like yours (writing, of all things), it’s no wonder you clung to what little breaths of freedom you had.
He was handsome and bold, with a carefree smile and brown eyes that mirrored the sun. The lead singer of a band, with a voice like chimes. And you fell just as hard as one of your many protagonists. Perhaps the mistake always lay in the fact that you put too much fantasy into reality. You have always romanticized the littlest things, and that comes back to bite you more often than not.
You never expected one: to get pregnant your senior year of high school, and two: have to go through it alone.
Of course, most people you come to love leave eventually. It’s something you have always remembered; something that sticks in the back of your brain like gum to the bottom of your child’s Spider-man skechers.
Graham is the only constant in your life. Though you’ve been blessed with a decent job editing for a webazine company, and you can work from home more often than not, Graham is the real thing that keeps you alive.
He’s the most precious boy, with brown curls and big brown eyes. He favors his father, and though that should deter you, it reminds you of innocent days, and it gives a new meaning to brown eyes. Graham is not his father, and he never was.
Graham certainly got his love of learning from you. Though he likes science more than writing, you adore how eager he is to always get to school. It helps that Mark is his teacher.
Mark’s been your friend since freshman year of highschool, when the two of you both took the same creative writing class the local university offered. Though the two of you had differing end goals, you often studied together and encouraged each other. He was there when you found out you were pregnant, and he was there when you found out you’d be raising your child alone.
Now life comes full circle, and you see him twice a day. You could go out on a limb and say he brightens up most mornings, but you would still give that slot to your son.
Mark is standing at the doorway now, greeting all of his students and helping them take off their book bags and coats. He’s wearing monochrome today: red pants, a red sweater, and red shoes.
Graham lights up almost immediately, and you are thankful today that you decided to dress Graham in his red t-shirt. “Mom! We match!”
“I know,” you grin, squeezing his hand.
Mark glances at Graham, and then you. His cheeks showcase that same pink hue they always do, and while it should clash with his red garments, it doesn’t. “Hey, Mark.”
“Hey,” he grins, cheeks full at the sight of you two.
Graham spreads his arms and waits for Mark to help him take off his jacket. “Do you see that we match, Mr. Lee?”
“Yo, that’s awesome, Little Man!” Mark gives Graham a fist bump that seems to appease him, and you wait for Graham to run to his friends before addressing Mark.
“How have you been?”
Mark sighs. He brushes his hair away from his eyes. “Okay. My- uh- my studio apartment flooded so I’m staying at a motel until my landlord can get me estimates on when I can come back home.”
“That sucks,” you frown. “You know, if you need a place to stay, I have a pullout couch in my office. And obviously, Graham wouldn’t mind.”
Mark pales. “Are you serious? I didn’t mean to suggest anything, Like I know you work from home and you need your office.”
“And you’ll be at school until three,” you say. “I’ll work then. C’mon, Mark. I don’t like knowing one of my friends has no place to stay.”
Mark bites his bottom lip and scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll drive over after I check out of the motel.”
“Great!” You smile. “I’ll order pizza.”
-
"Graham, clean your room," you say, struggling to push your desk against your office wall. "We're going to have a guest for a few weeks."
"Mom," Graham whines, "They aren't going to look in my room."
You begin to take the cushions out of the spare couch to start setting up the pull-out bed. "Mr. Lee is coming over, Graham. Don't you want to show him your collections?"
Graham's brown eyes grow wide. "Mr. Lee? You didn't tell me he was coming!"
"He's going to be staying with us for a little bit, okay? So I need you to be on your best behavior."
“Can I show him my worms?” Graham asks, alluding to the compost bin in the small backyard of your townhouse.
“Yes,” you say, thankful that he isn’t putting up much of a fight toward cleaning. You’re also thankful he isn’t asking any questions, as Graham always seems to have a few at the top of his tongue.
Graham cleans up his room quickly. You know for a fact that he’s just shoved all of his toys under his bed, but it’s enough until the weekend, when you’ll have more time to help him organize.
The little guy hoards rocks like no one’s business. You curse the day Mark decided to teach the kids about geodes.
“Wanna help me make up Mr. Lee’s room?” You half-yell, while grabbing spare bedding out of your linen closet.
Graham’s little footsteps are heard before he answers, and soon he’s at your hip with a quick, “He can have my Frozen pillowcase!”
You hesitate to tell Graham that his Frozen pillowcase is currently on one of your pillows, and you can’t give your guest a dirty pillowcase. “That one is in the wash, Buddy. Why don’t we give him your Spider-Man one?”
“So he matches my pajamas!” Graham is easily pleased, and he even takes one of his stuffed bears to add to Mark’s made-up bed. (“So he doesn’t get scared at night.”)
By the time the pizza arrives, Mark is just behind, so you keep Graham busy with a slice of cheese and a glass of diet pepsi (only half of a can, and only because it’s a special occasion) while the two of you bring in Mark’s stuff.
He surprisingly didn’t bring much, and when you ask about it, he grimaces. “My studio is pretty small so a lot of my stuff was on the ground and got mildewed. Other stuff was in bins so I just left it there. I only need clothes and my lesson plans, anyway.”
“Well, here’s the desk and bed. It’s not much, but there’s a lock on the door in case Graham ever gets too inquisitive — bless him — and curtains so the stupidly bright sun won’t wake you too early.”
“Those both sound like personal experiences, Y/n,” Mark teases. He takes off his jacket and throws it on the bed. “Yo! Spider-Man?”
“Graham picked it out,” you say. “He also relinquished one of his bears to keep you safe in the middle of the night. His words, not mine.”
“He’s so cute,” Mark mentions offhandedly. The fondness in his tone takes you back a bit. Not because the phrase isn’t true, it’s just that most people find your son annoying before they find him endearing. The change of tone is nice.
“He is,” you say. “And he’s dying to show you his room after we eat dinner.”
Mark gives you that same lopsided smile he often had in high school. Part of your brain shifts to his personal life, and you wonder why Mark himself isn’t in a romantic relationship. Not that he has to be, but the both of you are getting older, and Mark has always been one to express a fondness for having his own family one day. Maybe he just hasn’t found the right person.
It isn’t until Graham is peacefully in bed — after a very chaotic reading of Goodnight Moon by yours truly, and an argument that Mr. Lee cannot, in fact, sleep in the same room as him — that you actually have a chance to show Mark around the house.
“Here’s the guest bathroom. Graham almost always uses the bathroom in my room because he likes looking at the big tub. He will beg you to play with him, but if you’re busy don’t feel guilty telling him no. He knows what no means and he’s good about playing by himself.”
Mark giggles. “Okay. I don’t mind playing with him, though.“
You show him around the kitchen, where you left little spaces for him in the pantry. You show him the garbage bags and the T.V. settings and the list of compostable ingredients. “And also, please come and go as you please. Like, I completely understand that you’re here temporarily and you aren’t a babysitter or anything like that. I don’t expect you to be in charge of Graham any time outside of school.”
Mark blinks. “But if you ever need time away, you can ask me. I don’t mind babysitting.”
“I know,” you smile. “But Graham is my kid. I don’t need time away from him.”
You’re lying. Mark knows it. You’ve been in this single parenting thing for five years and you aren’t about to reach out for help now.
“Anyways, if you have any questions just ring me or ask me,” you say. “I’ve got to get to bed. Goodnight.”
“Thanks, Y/n.”
-
Mark thinks it’s sweet the way Graham insists on making his own breakfast.
You’re already up when Mark gets out of his (temporary) bedroom with his clothes tucked under his arm. You’re busy arguing with Graham. “You can’t fry your own omelette for the last time.”
Mark quirks an eyebrow at your exasperated face. You look stressed beyond belief, even though the day has just begun.
Mark tosses his clothes back in his room and walks into the kitchen. “Hey, Graham! Do you want to show me your rock collection?”
Graham spins on his sock-clad heels, eyes bright at the thought of seeing his teacher. “Mr. Lee! Yes! Let’s go!”
He grabs Mark’s hand with ease, leaving you room to finish making breakfast.
Graham’s room is fairly simple. The small wooden bed is covered in a green quilt, and beneath that, frozen-printed sheets that certainly don’t match. He has a tub of stuffed animals shoved against a small dresser.
Mark gets distracted by the framed picture on top of the dresser. It’s a picture of you and Graham’s father, a few months before you got pregnant. He’s smiling, and you’re holding up a peace sign. It makes Mark feel a bit sad, knowing that Graham’s dad never stayed around to see how wonderful he turned out to be. Then again, a lot of people in your life left as soon as they found out. In high school, no one wants to be friends with a teenage mother.
Mark reckons that if he had a family like this, he’d never take them for granted.
Graham pulls out a gemstone. It’s a murky green one that Mark has let him take home from class. “Do you remember this, Mr. Lee?”
Mark grins. “Yeah, bud. Thanks for keeping it so safe for me.”
Graham beams. He grabs Mark’s hand and pulls him towards his dresser. “Can we match? I want to look like you.”
Mark feels his heart swell. He wants to smother the young boy in affection, but he doesn’t want to cross a line. He’s your friend, sure, but he’s also Graham’s teacher. He can’t coddle Graham more than the other children. He already has a godchild to coddle. “I’m wearing yellow today. Do you have any yellow clothes?”
“Let’s look!” Graham yanks open one of the drawers and begins pulling out the articles of clothing one by one. “No, no, no... Here!” He finds a pair of yellow overalls, folded amongst the mess he made. “I’ll wear these!”
“Let’s clean up first, okay?” Mark grabs the overalls. “So it’s clean when you come home from school.”
Graham, looking like the last thing he’d ever want to do is disappoint Mark, begins to pick up each shirt with obvious intent. He tries to fold them, and does a somewhat decent job, so much so that Mark leaves it, thinking you’ll find it endearing rather than annoying.
He really loves that about you. He likes your patience with Graham. You’re so young, and in reality, he squashed so many early dreams of yours. No matter your lot in life, you never blamed your child. Mark thinks that’s why Graham is so open, so adaptable, so endearing.
He helps Graham get dressed and leaves him in his room so that he, himself, can get ready.
When he emerges from his shower, hair wet and clothed in yellow, he smells something amazing.
He doesn’t want to intrude on your morning with Graham. He already feels too indebted to you already.
“Have an omelet,” you say. Wisps of hair cover your face. You place a plate down in front of him.
Graham is already eating his omelet, slowly, while flipping through a picture book. He sounds out words he recognizes, but stays silent the rest of the time.
Mark takes out his phone and scrolls through his instagram feed just as your own phone begins to ring.
“Shit,” you curse, and then immediately apologize to Graham. You press the red button and tap anxiously on the tabletop.
“Everything okay?” Mark asks.
You run your hands over your hair and let them rest on the back of your neck. “Yeah is just—“
The phone rings again, and this time you pick it up. “What do you want? ... Why would you tell me that? ... Why should I care? ... Please stop contacting me, okay? Goodbye.”
You slam the phone down and leave the room. Mark watches you disappear down the hallway, sniffling.
“Mommy is upset,” Graham says. He looks at Mark, lip quivering. “At me?”
“No, Buddy! Of course not!” Mark reaches over the table to ruffle Graham’s curls. “Never at you.”
“When we tore up paper, she was crying.” Graham fiddles with his book page.
Mark wonders why your ex’s actions are being brought up five years later. Last he heard, you had fully healed from the breakup long before Graham’s first birthday. But now he’s about to be six, and you're suddenly upset?
He’ll have to ask you about it soon.
“Are you ready to go to school, Buddy?”
“Yeah!”
-
You cradle your face in your hands and try to ease the tears back in. You’ll never get this article proofread and sent if you can’t see the keys.
The door opens, and Graham runs in just in time for you to finish wiping your eyes. “Hey, kiddo! How was school?”
“Mr. Lee let us finger paint!” Graham holds up his palm, covered in dried paint, and grins brightly. “Can I have gogurt?”
“Yeah bud. Why don’t you put something on the T.V.? You can have your snack in the living room today.”
“Yes!” Graham takes blueberry gogurt out of the fridge and — after getting you to tear it open — runs into the living room. Sneakers and backpack still on.
Mark trails behind, clutching a messenger bag to his chest. “What’s going on?”
You sigh and close the laptop. The manuscript will have to wait. “Ben called. About a week ago. His girlfriend is pregnant. Called me to tell me he wasn’t going to leave her— like that would heal what he did to me. Then he called this morning to tell me they’re engaged.” You burst into tears then, and you feel so pathetic for doing this in front of your old schoolmate, that you hide your face behind your palms and allow your shoulders to shake. “Why weren’t we enough? Why wasn’t I enough?”
Mark scoots one of the chairs in front of you and sits, leaning his elbows on his knees. “Hey. Look at me.” With gentle hands, he grabs your wrists and pulls them away from your face. “It is not your fault he left.”
“But it has to be me in some way,” you retort. “He must not have loved me. Something, because now he’s going to raise her child after he left mine. Graham deserves a dad.”
Mark places his forehead against yours. The two of you used to do it all the time in school, mostly with immature giggles in the spaces between, but now it’s heavy with intention. “Graham has not felt even a little bit unloved in your care. You are all he needs, okay? You’re amazing.”
You nod, head still pressed to Mark’s. “Yeah. Okay. Sorry for getting too emotional, there.”
“Be as emotional as you want,” Mark says. “I’ll be here to balance you out.”
Your heart stutters at the words, like maybe they mean something more than he’s letting on. Of course it’s stupid to think Mark Lee would ever even consider you, but just the knowledge that he cares makes your soul feel a little lighter.
“I’m a mess,” you stutter, bringing your fist up to wipe at your nose.
“Nah,” Mark grins. He runs the pad of his thumb across your cheek and grins. “You’re alright.”
-
“It’s snowing!” Graham wakes Mark up by jumping on his chest.
Mark sucks in a breath, winded at the sudden weight, and grabs the boy, lifting him off of his chest and onto the mattress. “Hey, Buddy. Let’s not jump on sleeping people, okay?”
“Okay,” Graham says. He’s already lost interest in Mark, now crawling off of the bed to open the blinds. “Come look at the snow!”
“I see!” Mark rubs his tired eyes and checks his watch. “We might have a snow day, Graham.”
“Yes!” Graham pumps his fist into the air. “Let’s go tell mom!”
You’re sitting on your bed, chewing on a red licorice rope and flipping through a fashion magazine. You look up when Mark and Graham enter.
Mark likes seeing you like this: the domesticity of you in the morning, lazy and true. His chest sparks when he thinks this may be one of the only moments he can capture you like this, so he intends to commit the sight to memory.
“Did I hear snow day?” You grin at Mark, childlike wit in your own eyes — the same as your son’s.
“Looks like it.” Mark rolls up the sleeves of the sweater he slept in. “You want pancakes? I make some mean chocolate chip pancakes.”
You shift your gaze away from his arms and clear your throat. “Uh, yeah. Just let me get dressed and I’ll help—“
“No need,” Mark insists. “Enjoy your quiet time. Graham and I will make the most delicious pancakes you’ve ever tasted.”
“With lots of chocolate chips!” Graham shouts.
You give him a pointed look. “But not too many.”
Graham huffs. “But not too many,” he repeats.
-
Momentary splashes sound from your bathroom, followed by Graham screaming “It’s a dragon! Run for cover!”
Mark giggles from his place on the couch. He’s got mushroom-patterned socks on, and he’s tucked up into the cushions, nursing a can of Monster. “How does he still have so much energy?”
You sigh and pull your beanie down over your forehead. “You’d think a snow day would tire him out. Thanks for constantly carrying him up the hill, by the way. I know you’re a teacher, but sometimes I forget how good you are with kids.”
“I do have a godson,” Mark reminds you.
“But Mikey is a baby,” you say. You only know the baby’s name because of Mark’s constant snap stories about him.
“Most babies and kids want the same thing. Affection and attention.” Mark scoots over to the edge of the couch and pats the cushion.
You sit next to him. “I guess that’s true. You’re really good with Graham. He’s not this open to other adults.”
Mark is clearly blushing now; you can see his pink cheeks even in the light of the television. “He’s great in class, always helping the other kids.”
“He wants to impress you,” you say. You pop open a can of orange soda and take a sip. “He thinks you’re just the coolest guy.”
Mark laughs and shakes his head. “Didn’t you hear, Y/n? I’m handsome and cool.”
“Oh, of course,” you nudge his shin with our own sock-clad foot. “How could I forget? Mr. Ladies Man in high school.”
This makes Mark blush even harder, because he most certainly was not a ladies man in high school. In fact, he was a nerd in all senses of the word, part of the debate club with a few other boys. He had a few dates here and there, but nothing ever stuck.
“Shut up,” he mumbles. “My time is gonna come.”
“Hasn’t it already?” you ask before you can really process your own words. But of course he knows that he’s grown into his face, right?
Mark is positively handsome, eyes bright and lashes long. He’s so warm and comforting to you. He must be just as comforting to everyone else.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re handsome, Mark,” you say plainly.
“You mean that?”
“Of course I do,” you say. “Why would I lie?”
Mark opens his mouth, perhaps to call you out. To tell you you’ve been too honest, but he’s interrupted by your son.
“Mom! I’m ready to get out now!”
“I should go,” you say, still looking at his eyes.
“Yeah,” he says. His sweater has small spots on the shoulders where snow has fallen and since melted. He shivers.
“You should take a shower. You’ll catch a cold.”
“Okay,” he whispers. “Yeah, I’ll do that.”
-
Haechan comes over the following Saturday night to hang out with Mark, and you’re surprised at how much he truly hasn’t changed since high school.
He’s still got infamously perfect eyebrows, and his voice is still high despite its blunt sarcasm. “Nice place.” He raises his brows as he looks around.
“Who are you?” Graham is sitting at the kitchen table, watching Minecraft playthroughs (kid-friendly ones you’ve watched through yourself) on your phone to entertain himself while you clean.
“I’m Haechan, Mark’s friend.”
“This is Mr. Lee’s friend from school,” you say, detailing your words so they’re easier for your son to digest.
Graham stares at him for a moment, not quite judging but not quite accepting either. “Okay. Do you want to see my rock collection?”
Haechan looks genuinely excited, and accepts before you can come up with an excuse for him. Graham tells Haechan to stay in the kitchen while he grabs all of his rocks.
“How have you been?” you ask the taller man. “Like, with the flooding and everything?”
“Well, I’m on a couch at Taeyong’s, which is good since he doesn’t charge rent. But that means I’m near Mikey, and that baby has some lungs.”
You laugh. “I remember when Graham was a baby. I was so young, and my mom told me it was my responsibility to wake up and take care of him whenever he cried in the middle of the night. I was so pissed at her for making me do that, but those were some of the best nights to bond with him.” You realize you’re rambling and shake your head. “Whatever. Baby screams are loud as hell.”
“You can say that again. I’ve been talking to my friend Johnny about taking his spare room and paying rent. I dunno how many more sleepless nights I can take.”
“Why would you need to pay rent if you’re just crashing?” You wipe down the kitchen table to keep yourself busy.
“Didn’t Mark tell you? Our landlord is in heaps of trouble because the pipes weren’t up to code and that’s why they busted. The damage is basically too expensive to fix, so we’ve got to find new places.”
You stop cleaning. “Mark didn’t tell me that.”
“Oh.” Haechan scratches his brow. “He probably didn’t want to worry you. He feels really bad that he’s stayed with you this long.”
“It’s only been a month or so,” you counter. “Besides, Mark’s a great housemate. He cleans and keeps Graham occupied. Plus, now I have someone to watch corny game shows with.”
Haechan grins. “Oh. Okay, I get it.”
“Get what?” Mark, finally out of the shower, steps into the kitchen and immediately tackles Haechan in an energized hug.
“Nothing!” Haechan’s voice cracks
You shoot Haechan a weird look, and change the subject. “Where are you guys going?”
“To play video games at Johnny’s.” Mark says, and the thrill in his voice makes you think of high school. Of the debate team bus rounding the corner. Of you standing there, waiting to congratulate him with a big hug and a frosty from Wendy’s.
You miss it. “Have fun, okay? I’m probably going to tuck in as soon as Graham does, so just let yourself in.”
“You’re leaving?” Graham comes in, and his arms are filled with smooth and rough stones and gems he’s both found by himself and bought at random general stores while traveling.
“Not before I see your rocks!” Haechan says with so much enthusiasm, you think he’s telling the truth.
Graham giggles and drops the rocks onto the ground. Of course, he wants your guest to sit on the floor and count rocks. You’re almost embarrassed.
“ ‘ Okay, Y/n?” Mark laughs at your expression. Then he places his arm on your shoulder, thumbs the skin of your upper arm.
And once again, it’s high school. It’s senior year graduation and Mark is the only one who congratulates you. It’s his comforting touch, him coming over in the middle of the night after you texted him a picture of your first sonogram. It’s that same comforting touch. That little “I’m here,” and it melts you on the inside, leaves you in the shell of an eighteen girl again. Scared, and worried, and a little less alone.
“Yeah,” you manage. “I’m okay.”
-
The television plays Cartoon Network reruns on a low hum. Mark is curled up in a blanket, nursing a bottle of water and thinking over Haechan’s words.
You’ve liked her since high school, dude.
Which is a complete lie. Seriously, Mark didn’t have a crush on you in high school. He would know if he had a crush on his best friend. You’ve been his friend since freshman year, and that’s all you’ve ever been.
Now in college, it was different. In college, Mark was alone in a dorm with Taeyong, and you were one of the only people from high school he stayed in contact with. In college, he would bring you your favorite snacks and drinks, and other things you would forget to buy because you were a part-time student and a full-time mom. In college, you would pull all-nighters with him, working on your exams while Graham was asleep, then using energy drinks to get through the next day.
Mark even remembers the time your mom caught the three of you fast asleep on your rug, with unopened monster cans and an empty milk bottle beside you.
Throughout your entire pregnancy he was warned not to stay friends with the pregnant girl — it’d be too much for him, he wouldn’t want to become the new father, and all kinds of other stuff people would mumble to him when you weren’t around.
But you never expected him to be anything other than your friend. You never asked him for the help he gave — though you thanked him always — and you never once assumed he’d take the role of Graham’s dad.
And now… now he finds himself wishing you would.
“Mr. Lee?” Graham creeps up without him even realizing.
Mark jumps, sets his water — and thoughts — aside. “Hey, Bud. It’s really late. What are you doing up?”
Graham sniffs, and Mark realizes that the boy is crying. “I had a nightmare.”
Mark holds out his arms before he can think, and lets the five-year-old crawl into his lap. He wraps them both in his blanket and turns the television up just a little more. “Was it scary?”
“You left.” Graham says, voice less watery, like he doesn’t know the weight of his words. He’s focused on the rerun of Adventure Time that’s playing. He’s not even remotely interested in his nightmare now, with his tears dried up, and his eyes drooping back towards slumber.
“I’m going to leave one day,” Mark says, because he thinks it’s important that Graham knows.
“You should stay with me and Mom,” Graham says. He yawns. “We like you so much!”
Mark’s heart stutters. He tries not to think about it.
-
When Graham’s bed is empty the next morning, you freak out. He’s always in his room in the morning. Even if he wakes up before you, he stays in and plays with his toys.
You’ve already got your phone out, and your mother’s number called, when you walk into the living room.
Relief floods your system. Mark and Graham are asleep on the couch, snuggled up serenely like they didn’t just cause you to have a premature heart attack.
You hang up before the call to your mom can go through and stand there, watching the two boys sleep. Graham has both his arms wrapped around Mark’s forearm. It’s such a sweet picture that you take out your phone and snap one.
The flash is on.
Mark scrunches his nose and winces. “What the–”
“Sorry!” You whisper. “You both looked so cute, I couldn’t help it.”
Mark smiles, still sleepy, and finally opens his eyes. He peers at you, copper brown under fluttering lashes and you’re almost intimidated into looking away. “He had a nightmare.”
“Oh?”
“About me leaving.”
“Oh.” You frown. “I’m really sorry about that. I keep telling him that you’re moving out soon, but I don’t think he fully understands.”
Graham stirs. You reach down and pick him up. Your knuckles brush across Mark’s warm, sweater-clad chest and you suddenly wish you could cuddle with him, too. You shake the thoughts away and focus on your drowsy son. “You’re staying at Grandma's for a few days, remember?”
Graham rubs his eyes and perks up. “And I’ll see her cat?”
“Yes,” you confirm. “But we’ve got to get you dressed because she’s coming in a few minutes.”
-
“Mark Lee!” Your mom’s voice embarrassingly rings through the apartment, and you realize Mark has taken it upon himself to open the door. “Y/n told me she had a temporary roommate but I never thought she would finally ask you!”
“Oh my gosh…” you mumble, buckling Graham’s overalls and hauling him up into your arms. “Mom! His apartment flooded so he’s staying here. Don’t be weird about it.”
“But he’s so handsome,” your mom coos. You’re concerned she might reach forward and pinch Mark’s already ruddy cheeks.
“Thanks,” Mark laughs. “But she’s right, I’m just squatting until I can find a new place.”
Your mom harrumphs. “Well, I don’t see why you can’t stay here forever. Y/n doesn’t even use that office room. And even if she did, the two of you could just share a room.”
“Mom!” You plunk Graham into her hands and grab his overnight bag. “You have to leave.”
“Did I say something wrong?” She sounds worried, but there’s an undisclosed mirth in her eyes that makes you think of your freshman year, when you did have a crush on Mark.
“You said everything wrong,” you say, kindly pushing her out. “Have a good time, Graham. I love you! As always, Mom, call if you need me to come get him.”
“Yeah, right!” She yells over her shoulder. Graham is already giggling, so you close the door with confidence.
You turn back to your roommate. “I’m sorry about that, Mark.”
“It’s fine.” He smiles, but it’s reserved. “But speaking of me finding a place… I know Haechan told you that I can’t go back to my own apartment. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
“It’s okay,” you say. You want to say “You can stay here as long as you want, and long as you’ll let me keep you,” but that would reveal too much, and you don’t want to lose the one good friend you have.
“And I was thinking I should move out soon anyway.” Mark pulls his sweater sleeves until they cover his hands. He’s hiding. He’s shielding himself the same way he did in junior year, when he got turned down by his crush to go to the prom. “I don’t think it’s good for Graham to get this attached to me if I’m just going to leave.”
“Oh,” Your sleeves are too short, but you want to shield yourself too. “Yeah, that’s… that’s probably a good idea.”
Mark stands there for a beat, like he’s waiting for you to say something more. Like he hasn’t just taken your heart and pushed it aside. Like this hurts a lot less than it actually does.
But any word out of your mouth would be tearful. It would be honest. It would ruin everything. “I’m going to go on a run.”
-
There’s a cricket outside that won’t stop chirping against your window. You blame it for your insomnia, choosing to ignore the anxiety of eventually losing Mark. It feels so horribly childish, since you’ll see him when you drop Graham off at school. And you’ll see him whenever the two of you go out for coffee on weekends.
But you won’t see him in the kitchen, reaching for the pancake mix so his shirt rises up and you can see the dimples in his back. You won’t see him humming along to the radio while he works on his lesson plans. You won’t feel his warmth when the two of you stay awake, nursing spiked lemonade and giggling at the commentary videos you find on YouTube.
He’ll just be Mark again. He won’t be home anymore.
Startled by the realization, you get out of your covers and rush to your door.
It opens before you can even reach for the doorknob, and there’s Mark in his pajamas, biting his lip and avoiding your eyes.
“I don’t want you to leave,” you say.
Mark confesses, “I love you.”
You open your arms and he dives in, face pressed into the space where your neck meets your shoulder. Warmth envelopes you and the scent of pine fills your nose.
Mark is timeless. Youthful glory and childish pride. He’s a pinch on the side and a push on the swings. Like a rock that actually skips on the first try. Like shoes that you can slip on when they’re still tied. And he’s here, in your arms, squeezing you like you’re something valuable enough to lose. He’s confessing love like you aren’t the worst possible candidate for his heart.
“I can’t offer you much,” you start, but Mark bumps his forehead against yours, boyish and playful — football fields and bright red lockers and secret notes on bathroom walls.
“I’ve known you for years, Y/n,” Mark’s voice is a low rumble. Copper eyes blinking at you like you’re something to second glance at. “I know what I’m getting into. I want you. I want Graham. I want everything this is, and everything we’ve been for the past month. I don’t want this to end.”
You close your eyes, because his are too honest. He’s open and vulnerable and gentle — a child on the first day of school, ready to make friends. You take a deep breath, try to remember what you were like on your first day. Rosy cheeks and shy glances. Knobby knees and a trusting heart. You reach out for whoever you once were — the Y/n with a heart open and willing to be loved. “I don’t want this to end either. I’m in love with you, Mark.”
His grin lights up your world in its entirety. Gold flecks in onyx black disappear as he smiles, too thrilled to keep his eyes open. And when he kisses you, warm lips against cold ones, you feel like a puzzle has just slotted into place.
It would only make sense that you would grow to love the boy you grew up with.
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