#this isn’t cute or funny or quirky or edgy

[kentuckyfriedmegumi]

oh HELL no. fuck this shit bruh i’m so SICK OF THE MEGUMI HATE AGENDA

i pride myself on being one of, if not THE biggest megumi defender in a jjk server with over 240k members, and it's one thing to hate in the server and ping me for a debate or argument, but to DM ME IN OWN PERSONAL MESSAGES a warning of your hate agenda idk shit pisses me off tf

rant incoming…

like this is one of my friends in the server (i know, how can u be friends with a megumi hater, it's complicated) and we always keep that shit IN the server. to literally DIRECT MESSAGE ME with some shit like this, like why the FUCK would i ever want to hear about this shit.

just write your stupid hate post and everyone else in the server will ping me about it later. you don't need to come to my dos to tell me about your endless hate agenda, i see that enough in a server of TWO HUNDRED AND FOURTY THOUSAND MEMBERS as is

and man i am ALWAYS down for a good megumi debate, like YES let me pick apart his character and tell you WHY the choices gege made were SO IMPORTANT to his development and the story, but seriously what the FUCK is this?????? this is like literally ASKING me to block you???

it's one thing if there is hate in the server and someone is like "oh time to tag KFM, she'll handle this." it's another to literally want to PROVOKE a response out of me bc man i'm not taking that bait???? go somewhere else with this bruh this is why i stopped messaging in there

like i could literally go ON AND ONNN about why megumi’s character is insanely important and impactful to the story. he is NOT your typical shonen deuteragonist and that is on PURPOSE!!!!! god forbid we have a male character in an action series that shows emotions and relies on them for his motivations and convictions

and it’s always the people who just think that he’s a loser or a bum or he never lives up to his potential that want to purposefully not understand the story or his writing that gege has so carefully crafted for megumi. like HE IS MEANT TO BE AN EMOTIONALLY DRIVEN CHARACTER GUYS THAT DOES NOT MAKE HIM LAME

and it’s one thing to just not vibe with megumi. that’s whatever like i don’t get it but hey he’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but why the FUCK are you hating sooooo much that you feel the need to write an ESSAY about your hatred towards this character UNPROVOKED ??? and why the FUCK are you dm’ing ME about it???? because i’m jjkcord’d number one megumi defender?? that’s in THE JJK SERVER not in our fucking dms. literally get that shit out of here bc i’m SO SICK of the megumi hate.

like at least in the server i can prepare myself and expect to see megumi hate. to MESSAGE ME OUT OF THE BLUE IN MY PERSONAL DMs literally has me seething at 11:40pm on a sunday fucking night.

i could say sooooo much more, but i’ve said all i really could with megumi’s character and i don’t feel the need to run it all into the ground the way these people do with their endless hate. get your fucking heads out of the fucking echo chamber that you have tunnel-visioned yourself into and learn that not everything in life needs to revolve around hating a fictional fucking character

[therebelinred]

I find it funny how people get super defensive when you tell them hating children is a red flag. To that I say maybe look in a mirror and try to work on bettering yourself recognize that maybe the person calling you a red flag may be on to something. Like hating children isn’t a personality trait it doesn’t make you cool or edgy or uwu cute and quirky it makes you an asshole who may have a future in child abuse. Look I am child free myself I get it but I went through a phase like that too where I got mad at kids for existing. But now I know that kids aren’t put here to annoy you. They are just kids. Kids are allowed to be kids and exist in public places don’t like it? Too bad. Go live in the mountains if you want absolutely no kids around.

[bogleech]

I’ve been watching so many cartoons for free, good ones and bad ones, that here’s a status update on the ones I know some of you (frequently for the right reasons) wouldn’t even watch if they paid you: Family Guy: now owned by Disney, and it’s obvious they were given strict new rules about what they could and couldn’t joke about, Quagmire isn’t even a sex weirdo anymore and some episodes border on somehow kid-friendly with a smattering of kinda funny inoffensive jokes, but it’s still overall poor quality and the best thing you can say is that it stopped being as cruel to Meg. Some episodes are probably the worst ideas they’ve ever had and for “some reason” the Disney buyout did not change the frequency or nature of its scattered Jewish jokes.

South Park: many episodes are the terrible takes and bland running gags you remember, and even when they aren’t that bad on paper, the jokes just don’t land for me. Oftentimes the whole joke is that someone, usually Randy, is dramatically overreacting to something trivial. I will say that after they were criticized for preaching apathetic, lazy centrism to their fans, they’ve increasingly taken blunt sides in controversial topics and almost gone overboard to leave no ambiguity. I had to cut out a detailed example here because a few people skimmed it and thought I was literally saying South Park is good now, which it isn’t.

Rick and Morty: I haven’t watched the new one but I know a lot of people stopped years ago or never even started, though it can have earnestly creative science fiction scenarios and a lot of funny bits that are unfortunately never the ones that go viral. Almost any joke that isn’t tryhard mean tends to be at least okay. For the last season or so, Rick has still been a generally unfunny asshole, but he has generated more entertainment by suffering more satisfying consequences and humiliation for his selfish personality. Morty by this point is even written completely aware that his grandpa sucks and uses everybody and gets the last laugh over Rick in a lot of stories. Overall it’s still trying to be edgier and more cynical than I think anyone really likes these days, and just has really stark ups and downs.

Teen Titans Go: this isn’t one of the shows people blast as cruel or offensive or anything but a lot of people older than its main viewership really really resent it. This is a shame because some of it is still funny regardless of your age or your ambivalence to superheroes (me) while sometimes they just do cute quirky things with their access to WB properties. One episode has them fighting Beetlejuice (though the gags are all lifted 1:1 from the original movie, which is kind of hit or miss) and more recently they did a crossover with Freakazoid. They also have this strange, more serious (but still deeply absurd) sci-fi AU setting with big budget art direction, which did so well in ratings that it’s getting its own spinoff.

American Dad: I made some posts about this ages ago but this series was bought by a different network, got different writers and drifted so far from its original “political family guy” angle that many episodes don’t even have edgy or nasty humor and are instead just obtuse, niche nonsense, as if the writers want to see how many viewers they can alienate. If you’re both bored and curious you can just read the episode summaries on wikipedia from about season 14 and up until you hit one that sounds like an algorithmic shitpost, like that one I think I showed a clip from once in which Santa Claus is excavating the corpse of the giant Humbaba from the Epic of Gilgamesh so he can receive Humbaba’s Seven Radiances. He believes this is how he can finally end his curse, which we call Christmas, and will then be free to do what he really wants, which is kill people.

I edited a bunch of this for clarity but I still don’t know how anybody thought I was actively promoting things like South Park, I think I’m pretty clear here that I just watch a mix of things I like and dislike?

[the-al-chemist]

OC X OC friendships and love stories are so much fun – but tag another creator and tell me about their OC that you love who is NOT a close friend or partner of your own.

Happy FFWF 💛 oof, this is hard, because ALL my mutuals have such amazing and unique characters that it’s hard to pick!!! But here goes! (Anyone I’ve not included, please don’t be offended - it’s not that I don’t love you or your kids, I’m just scatterbrained and I know I’ve forgotten some of you and I’m sorry already)

@gaygryffindorgal - Verna Malinda - Gryff was my first follower and the first person to read my fic. I immediately dived into Verna’s stories and I loved them. Her sassy back-and-forth rivals to lovers thing with Merula is *chef’s kiss*

@samshogwarts - Sam is the cutest. I just love her.

@thatravenpuffwitch - Ellie Hopper - actually, Ellie might be the cutest. Oh, now I’m not sure.

@hogwartsmysteryho - Nolan Miller - Nolan isn’t cute. He’s an arse. In the best and most hilarious way.

@nevilles-top - Bibiana Malfoy - I still haven’t finished TGWV. But I will, because it’s amazing.

@official-weasley - Nova Blackwood - I will never be over TICW. Tollin’s final few chapters were just so moving and brave. I’m not a big crier, but I shed a tear. A couple, actually. And I love Nova and her blue hair.

@witchy-push - Eugene Hope - I don’t just love Eugene, although I do love her. However, I really love the way Witchy brings her to life in her artwork. You can just see her personality shining in her drawings.

@marmotish - Freyja Young - Freyja was the first HPHM MC I encountered on here, before I even made my own blog. Like Witchy, Marmo makes Freyja so real in everything she does. I’m in awe, honestly.

@night-rhea - Night Rhea - I love everything about Night, from their blue hair down to their combat boots. Night is so soft and lovely, but you just KNOW that they’d kick your arse if pushed. Epic. Also, Naz and Night are so great at educating people about issues facing the genderfluid and transsexual community. I’ve actually learnt a lot from them (both of them) and I’m really grateful for that.

@slytherindisaster - Frederick Lavigne - he’s so dark and edgy and I cannot wait to read about his and Eliot’s story

@cursebreakerfarrier - Galen Stagg - Galen is adorable. End of. I’d like to start a petition to have Galen Stagg protected at all costs, please?

@carewyncromwell - Ru Ollivander - the Kelpie storyline is so different and quirky and amazing. As is Ru himself.

@whatwouldvalerydo and @that-scouse-wizard - Leila Hellebore and Reuben Willows - I love these two. I’ve put them as a pair because their love story is just to die for, but honestly they’re brilliant characters separately. And when they’re together they are the epitome of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts (which is saying something, when Reuben and Leila are the parts)

@madelineorionswan - Madie Orionswan - aww, Madie playing the guitar with Rowan is so heart melting

@amerrymystery - Robbie Donovan - One word: Daywood. That will be all. Also, I stan a beatlemaniac.

In the Rockstar AU, Artemis encounters a few OCs that she doesn’t know in canon, so it’s a cheat, but I’m including them as well!

@lifeofkaze - Ava Campbell - Ava is so complex and so unlike Lizzie. She is scheming, she is tough, and she’s not wholly likeable. Which is why I like her.

@that-scouse-wizard - David Willows and Amelia Booth - David is just cool. He’s a dude. And Amelia is the feminist icon I never knew I needed.

@whatwouldvalerydo - Talia Hayes - I love how sarky and vicious Talia can be. She’s just great.

@kc-and-oc - Katriona Cassiopeia - Finally, your own girl KC. KC is so funny and witty, she is able to both deal with Murphy’s B.S. and keep him in check whilst being a truly loving partner. And she’s fierce and independent. I love that.

[theladygazingatemptiness]

tbh I’m not going to pretend that I don’t have a bitter bone in my body bc believe me I am Bitter As FUCK And Am Harboring So Much Anger And Hate In My Heart Rn as a result of trauma among other things but feeling this way isn’t Quirky Or Cute Or Funny or w/e edgy irony-poisoned memelords pretend that it is it actually Really fucking sucks and so I’m not going to take that shit out on random people online minding their own business who did nothing to me. the world is shitty enough why make it shittier

[miraculoushomos]

I had an idea for an au n I saw someone with a similar idea!!! Check out their art here: https://www.instagram.com/p/CFKlcM5pjcr/?igshid=1liva4ufita3q

But my take on it is a lil different

glyph portal accident au!

luz n amity get stuck in an alternate reality after luz messes around trying to find new working glyphs and activates some sort of portal glyph (i think it’d be funny if it the stüssy s that does it but this au wouldn’t make sense if luz knew what it was 💔)

The differences are:

here, luz and co. are aged up, luz and amity are 17

luz and amity are actually rivals

during the Library Incident the twins didn’t scribble in otabin’s book so amity never changed her mind about luz

amity thinks luz is irritating

luz is still trying to befriend amity but is pacing it more like the azura books, she knows it’ll take time and she’s just in for the ride

to be completely honest luz is 100% doing it for the homoeroticism

older luz isn’t completely oblivious, she knows she makes amity mad but she’s doing it in a gay way y’know?

their dynamic is like, amity’s passive aggressive/feral-aggressive nature VS. luz’s public school trauma induced indifference to anything she could say + the years of reading enemies-to-lovers fanfictions and using as many lines from them as she can remember

boscha and willow are TIRED

older luz still goes to hexside n is friends with willow and gus!

she’s also closer with viney, jerbo, and barkus than the younger luz

she’s still a multitrack kid

older luz’s wardrobe is still cute n quirky but also some alt clothes cuz you know luz is a bad bitch like that

older luz’s hair is a bit shorter, less mullet looking and a little more spiked up at the front

older amity wears her hair down

older amity’s wardrobe is also still somewhat the same but a little darker n maybe a couple spikes, she’s edgy

anyways!

luz n amity get plopped right next to one of older!amity and older!luz’s manymany r a n d o m encounters that end up with them fighting (well amity is fighting but luz is just trying to be annoyingly charming, she’s bound to catch feelings one day right?)

older!amity: HUMAN! how are you so INSUFFERABLE !!!

older!luz: ooooh you wanna kiss me so bad

luz n amity proceed to lose their fucking minds cuz

holy shit it’s us but old (both)

older luz!1?2!4!!&@&$!1 (amity)

older amity!!!!!!!!!!!! (luz)

“ooooh you wanna kiss me so bad” (both)

after older!lumity notice them it’s a fucking mess, it leads to them all sitting in the owl house freaking out (mostly it’s the luzs while the amitys are just. staring) but after they settle down they figure out what to do with the kids while they work on how to get them back (they’re thinking long term, just in case)

luz stays at the owl house with older!luz (eda is gonna have a stroke when she gets back from messing with lilith but hooty n king are estatic)

amity leaves with older!amity and heads to the blight mansion (it’s going to be a bitch to explain but what other option do they have? the twins are gonna have a field day with this one)

and after they settle in their respective houses, that’s when the questioning begins (and oh boy do they have a lot of questions)

[singing-robot]

i was thinking about papyrus today (as one does) and remembered that one scene in the beginning of snowdin where sans asks you to play along papyrus’ puzzles because “he’s been kind of down lately”. and i thought what if deltarune papyrus is inside his house because he’s like at the same point of the timeline and he’s not feeling great? but seeing a human in this universe won’t cheer him up as much

Boy howdy do I love writing essays about discussing Papyrus, which is made possible by viewers like you. Thank you! 

Long post ahead, if you don’t want to read all of it, then feel free to look at this diagram, instead! 

I am very excited to meet Papyrus all over again, and wrote a lot about the differences in their worlds to compare them and say that, basically, I agree with you.

In UNDERTALE, Papyrus spends a lot of time in his house, as he states himself when leading you there on the Papyrus date. But there’s also evidence of him having quite a few projects outside. He has several traps set up in the woods, and at least one snow sculpture, and realistically painted a rock to look like a wooden bridge. And that’s only in the areas we can see!! 

In the long run, though, most of those are meaningless (or fun!) tasks he assigned to himself. The majority of traps for humans could easily be walked around or through. He might even have known that. His super-mega-huge trap of death on the bridge? A human hasn’t fallen in decades, he has no reason to take such extreme (and… kind of impractical?) precautions. (Or does he..? Another theory for another day.) I think those traps are more like excuses to not get bored in the dull little town of Snowdin; and if a human gets stuck in one, awesome!!! It’ll only help him. 

Before we fell down, though, I think Papyrus not only became focused on his lack of friends, but also ran out of stuff to do. His computer was left open on a social media site, which he presumably was scrolling through before he came out to meet Sans in the beginning. Spending a lot of time online, especially on a single social media site, can make you feel pretty bad, especially if that becomes your main “activity” of the day (many of us have done this or may be doing it now). If he’s done everything he can think of, perfected all of his plans, and then got into a routine of making sure they stay that way, every day, with few new things… it’s not super great for your person. At least he can hang out with the few friends that he does have, right? Those guys are fun. 

I do think Papyrus in deltarune isn’t feeling great, but more so because he starts off with nothing to do. Human-catching traps aren’t necessary. The town is already colorful and beautiful. There’s not a ridiculously long stone slab to realistically paint as wood. The opportunity to drive a car and feel the wind and sun is already available to him. He’s new to town, so he doesn’t have any friends, and didn’t go to a costume party. Undyne doesn’t know the science teacher, much less the new residents. Flowey doesn’t exist. Doggo is nowhere in sight (… actually, none of the dogs are?). The annoying dog is presumably creating a video game in the library’s computer room, undisturbed. 

Everyone in Hometown is happy, friends with each other, knows the Dreemurrs, and is so snug and suffocatingly waving-in-the-yard friendly that the concept of trying to make my own place in the community when I can’t even say I work in my family’s new grocery store is terrifying. There’s no way I could fit in, and if I stay inside and avoid everyone for too long, then it’s a never-ending cycle of being too late to join them. Heck, even Catti, the super edgy rebellion teen, has friends and works in the diner. 

I mean, going off of my home, Hometown as a whole probably shuts down at 10 PM; unless it’s a midsummer Friday night, then it shuts down at 11:30. It’s not like there’s a variety of activities to do there. We might think the place is quirky and cute and fun to live in because the cop yells at pedestrians and blocks traffic (how funny!), or because a mascot has war chants (he seems fun!), or even because there’s a park where a nameless squid… person… thing… lives (it’s our friend Onion-San!!!). But imagine being there every day, with little variety outside of Mr. Holiday getting sick, Bratty saying Catti got fur in her coffee, or the star kid athlete moving to college. 

To me, there is very little appeal to the prospect of living in Hometown (if it were real, that is—but you guys know what I mean). And I… don’t really want do anything? Like, at all? (Collateral damage from growing up here, I’m sure, but still.) But I think I went off on a tangent. My end point is, if Papyrus got bored in Snowdin, despite his friends and increasingly meaningless and time-consuming tasks he could come up with, in a fantasy world where monsters didn’t have a choice in making the best of it, imagine how boring it’d be to live in Hometown, where their imaginations have the same limits and restrictions as our real-life society does. I can’t go out in the woods and construct deadly traps that everyone knows to avoid because I can and will be fined with endangerment, intent to harm, trespassing, etc. 

This could also go into a whole other thing about why deltarune is so different and why Kris is the only human (and monster prejudices seem to exist against humans?), but I’m not sure seeing Kris would cheer him up, either. Oh, are we going to hang out with him to be his friend?! That would be really cool, if it weren’t for the fact that Sans all but forces us to go. At least in UNDERTALE, the arrival of a human has the potential to rocket him through the ranks. In Deltarune, the human is already there and doesn’t mean a thing. 

So. Yeah. I’m sure Papyrus is pretty miserable in deltarune, and he doesn’t have many ways to fix that problem. This also gives me a neat drawing idea, don’t let me forget. 

Also!!! If you’re interested in seeing more deltarune-specific content, I have another side-blog at @singing-ralsei

[veroticker]

The fix - Sylvie Stewart

Summary (from Sylvie Stewart’s website)

My life is a friggin’ fairytale—just not the kind any single girl would ever want to star in.

LANEY:

Like any good heroine, I’ve got a few challenges to face. Getting my son to wear pants is one; dealing with my snoozefest of a job is another. Then there’s the Beast, my freeloading brother who’s worn a permanent dent in the couch at my new place. And no fairytale would be complete without a smoking hot prince, of course. Too bad he’s a complete ass. 

Everything in me screams to steer clear of Nate Murphy. Because, if life has taught me anything, there is no such thing as happily ever after.

NATE:

I may not be a superhero, but I do my best to come to the rescue when I’m needed. And, hey, I just moved halfway across the country after a single phone call from my mom. But being back home and taking on the responsibilities involved makes me a bit cranky at times. Unfortunately, the one time I completely lose my cool is in front of the hottest girl I’ve ever met. I’ve got my work cut out for me if I’m going to fix this. But I will fix this.

I’ll be anything Laney Monroe needs me to be … a superhero, a prince, or just a guy she might take a chance on.

Blurb

“I awoke to a foot in my mouth.

No, not the old feeling of having said something horribly inappropriate that you immediately wish you could un-say, but an actual foot. In my mouth.

“Ung guh!” I spat. To say this was a disturbing way to begin one’s day would be a gross understatement—emphasis on the gross. “What in the … ugh.” My head dropped back to the pillow as comprehension dawned. Rocco’s size twelve with those cute little toes lay on the pillow next to my face, along with a small puddle of drool. I took in his sleeping form, passed out upside down in nothing but his Ninja Turtle underwear.

“We can’t keep doing this, dude,” I whispered to myself. My little exhibitionist, having contorted himself into some kind of inverted nocturnal backbend, had spent the night in my bed—yet again. Being awakened by small naked body parts was starting to mess with my head. Not to mention, who knew where those little feet had been? Oh, wait, I did. Blech.

Completely unprepared to get up for the day, I snuggled back into my favorite dogwood printed sheets and stared up at the ceiling. I was discovering that moving to a strange new house was rough on a kid. Hell, it was rough on me and I was twenty years older than him. All things considered though, Rocco had been a real trouper since leaving the only house he’d known at my parents’ and moving into the cute fixer-upper we now call home. But there were obviously still some kinks to work out—case in point, my rude wake-up call.

When my parents first brought up the possibility of their out-of-state move, I don’t think I had ever seen them so edgy. There was lots of hand-wringing and “um, well, you know” before I had demanded they just spit it out—I was halfway convinced one or both of them were dying of Ebola or something equally horrifying.

I’d been feeling increasingly uncomfortable for leaning on them so heavily since the little stick had turned blue, so it was almost a relief to have the decision to get a place of my own taken out of my hands. Turns out while I had feared our moving out would hurt my parents’ feelings, they had been afraid I’d fall to pieces without them. One come-to-Jesus conversation later and my mom was accepting a new position at the University of Richmond in Virginia while I was on the phone with a realtor.

The truth is, early on, I would never have survived a day of motherhood without the undying, and most importantly, non-judgmental support of my family and my best friend—as well as the financial, if not physical, support of Rocco’s dad. But it was past time for me to pull my big girl panties up and I knew it. All the support I’d received had allowed me to finish my associate’s degree and get a job which, while not being entirely stimulating, allowed me to take care of my kid and me. As far as single moms went, my situation was the dream, and I knew it.

Turns out there is something remarkably satisfying about holding ownership of the place where you lay your head at night, and our new house was adorable. It had bright white siding—after a power-washing from my dad—and black shutters that were mostly on straight. And it was topped off by a cheery bright red front door. The house was a ranch and it was a bit older, but it had three bedrooms, two baths, and a fenced-in backyard for Rocco and the dog I was sure we would eventually get. It was close (but not too close) to the stores and restaurants, and the street was nice and quiet. I loved it and I was proud of our new home, even if it did have some drawbacks—leaky faucets, a few uneven floors, and maybe a few more major problems. But that was okay. All of that could be fixed with time and a little help from my idiot younger brother. I hoped.

On the condition that he would help with the repairs and renovating, I had agreed to let him stay with Rocco and me. It was a win-win—my faucets wouldn’t drip, and my brother wouldn’t be homeless, considering that his previous residence had also been my parents’ house. Even he had to admit that, at twenty-two, following your parents to a new state in order to live in their basement was borderline Jay and Silent Bob. And besides, all his drinking buddies were here in Greensboro so there was that …

So now the house was ours and we were making it into a home. What I didn’t know before moving was that a new house breathes differently than your old one. It has its own voices and creaky bones to creep you right the hell out if you’re not used to them. And we were definitely not used to them—thus the previous month of waking up to Professor Underwear crowding my sleep space in an entertaining array of positions.”

(review under the cut)

Review

(audiobook) Oh did I enjoy this one! It was funny, the characters were interesting, it was a bit sexy and the narrator was perfect. 6 hours well spent.

I seriously was smiling the whole time I was listening to this one--just because laughing out loud at work for apparently no reason would have been weird. Not much happens, to be true, and the tiny conflict in the relationship is quickly resolved, but getting inside Laney’s and Nate’s head was a fun ride. And the people around them are equally quirky and charming.

The story isn’t anything original. You get your insta-love with a bit of lust thrown in. There isn’t any reason really why Laney and Nate shouldn’t be together, but still it’s kind of a slow burn with just enough sexual tension to keep you interested.

Some interesting and important points are touched upon: what a new relationship and the possibility of its ending entails for the mother of a young child, what happens when you’re forced to give up your dream, what family means. But it’s never heavy, so don’t be afraid of drama--you won’t find it here.

Definitely a must read if you need some laugh and love!

Quickie

Series: Carolina connections #1 (but they can be read as standalone)

Hashtags: #rom com #single mom

Main couple: Laney Monroe & Nate Murphy

Hotness: 3/5

Romance: 5/5

+ it was SO FUNNY! 

- a bit more of sexy times, please?

  Stalker mode

You can suscribe to Sylvie Stewart’s newsletter on her website.

You can also follow her on Facebook.

[goron-king-darunia]

Coffee Soulmate Drabble

Based on this, but reworked to be more articulate and also to avoid piggybacking on a post. Also realized that the prompt was meant to be about what soulmates think when they see each other, not their first words to each other, so I tweaked the premise a bit to fit the reveal I wanted. *~*~*

Emil had waited what felt like eons to finally see his soul mark. Friends from school had mostly gotten theirs already. Marta and Alice got theirs during a schoolyard tussle in middle school. Other classmates had theirs appear during grocery store trips or vacations and spring break. Many more had theirs pop up while messaging someone online for the first time, or just before receiving a response to an online comment. Emil had no such luck. He was still young, of course. Some people didn’t have their soul marks show up until their forties. But he was dying to finally see his. He didn’t want to wait that long. Ever since he was a kid, he’d wanted to find his special someone. A Knight or warrior princess to sweep him off his feet and carry him far, far away from his abusive relatives. Preferably a knight or prince charming of course, but soulmates could be unexpected and Emil wasn’t picky. Alas, here he stood in the Lezareno Coffee Shop, brewing orders and making frappes and getting harangued by customers who “just wanted a plain cup of coffee” and couldn’t bother to even listen to the explanation that there are 30 different blends and they needed to pick one because the procedure is the procedure. His colleague Colette had just finished up ringing up a man with bright red hair and Emil was in awe. The guy looked to be a college student. He was dressed in a pressed white shirt with a bolo tie and some black slacks with a laptop and messenger bag and a perpetually-caffeine-deprived look on his features. Eye-bags, pursed lips, slouched shoulders, grumpy frown. Despite all this, he was a handsome man. His shiny polished loafers were the only thing that really threw Emil off. People his age usually wore tennis shoes, even in nice clothes. They were comfy and they were meant to get dirty so they didn’t require as much upkeep. Loafers were an old-people fashion in this generation. As preppy as the look was, though, his shuffle and slouch were unmistakeably characteristic of a man whose bank of “fucks I give” had basically run empty. Dude had maybe two fucks left at best. Guy clearly just wanted to be left alone to his business. Sadly, that meant that as cute as he was, Emil was going to have to refrain from asking him for his number on break.

While working on a caramel frappuccino for a lady that had just ordered, a wild-looking blond walked in, slapped a bill down on the counter and just said. “Coffee, hot, lots of it. Surprise me with the blend. Make it blonder than me and absolutely saturate that with sugar. Add two espressos shots to it. And can I get a straw?” Colette just nodded and totaled up the amount for their daily blend with a double espresso, extra cream, caramel syrup, and replaced the bill the blond had put on the counter with change and a wrapped plastic straw. “Thanks, you’re amazing.” He added the change to the tip jar and waited by the other end of the counter to pick up his drink. Emil was a bit baffled by this new guy. The boy had very similar features to himself. The exact shades of blond in both their hairs were different but without the side-by-side, you’d never tell. The customer’s eyes were more hazel than green, too, but one would have to look close to notice. Their body builds were a bit different, and this was probably the most prominent detail. Emil had a bit more muscle on him (he spent as much time running away from his home life as possible) and the customer was a bit wiry and lithe but if you really didn’t scrutinize their faces, they’d be able to switch places no problem. A heavy coat, jeans, sunglasses and they’d basically be indistinguishable. The customer’s face was sharper, a bit older looking, more masculine, while Emil’s features were a bit softer and rounder, but at a distance? Yeah. They could be twins. Except for the customer’s fashion sense. Emil, when he wore casualwear, usually wore a nice v-neck in a neutral color, a nice vest or scarf or jacket depending on the weather, and shorts or jeans in a nice cool tone. This customer was decked out in red and black, dark jeans and thigh high boots. He had a gold chain with an angel emblem on it but also a billowing white coat. Emil couldn’t tell if he was a nerd, a counterculture punk, or a dweeb attempting to be edgy. Then again, as he was also a college kid from the looks of things, he might have just thrown on whatever was clean and comfy. Emil couldn’t tell. Emil brewed up the order as Collette finished ringing up another customer. The blond barista placed the cup on the counter just as Collete tapped him on the shoulder. “Can you cover the registers for a quick minute?” Emil nodded, doing as he was told. luckily there was no one in line so he just had to keep an eye on things while he worked on other tasks and prioritize running the register if anyone did show up.

Aster, the aforementioned blond customer with weird fashion sense, was enjoying his hot cup of pure caffeine and sugar, just about to make his way out the door when he felt a faint tingle on the inside of his right wrist. He’d heard the stories. He was excited to know what the first words his soulmate would speak to him were going to be. He’d always dreamed of something like “Hey, hot stuff! Nice ass!” just so he could eternally shame his soulmate for catcalling him or something sweet like “Wow, you look really friendly! Can you help me study this week?” Some kind of college meet-cute that would lead to some wholesome stories for the kids someday. He eagerly rolled up his sleeves. Would it be funny? Heartwarming? Quirky? Flattering? He frowned when he read the small string of words, printed in a tiny serif font along his arm. “Who the hell drinks coffee with a straw?!”

Well that was simply unacceptable! Not only was his soulmate clearly a classless heathen who hated the finer things, but now he was stuck with this stupid soulmate mark! Aster turned around, leaning against the doorframe and eyeing the other patrons suspiciously, angrily sipping his coffee through his straw. As soon as his soulmate uttered those words, he was gonna kick their ass. He glared over the crowd, daring some chuckefuck to stand up and say it to his face. He was going to wreck them so hard he’d ruin the relationship eternally and blow that soulmate mark right off his arm.

Richter twitched, eyes narrowing at the blond beginning to exit and the words began forming in his mind. He didn’t even notice the blond turn to survey the rest of the patrons before he set his own coffee aside and found himself shooting up from his seat, massively offended on behalf of the rest of the sane people in this store. “WHO THE HELL DRINKS COFFEE WITH A STRAW?!” Aster’s head whipped around. You! He thought. I’ll rip you a new one right here! But before he could get the words out he softened immediately. Oh no. He’s hot.

“It’s not even iced coffee!” Richter continued, gesturing wildly at the blond’s absurd setup. “What are you even?! Wh– These cups come with lids with mouth holes you know!? So they don’t spill everywhere and so you can drink on the go!” Richter felt his own wrist tingle and paused.  He was filled with anticipation certain that the barista was going to call him out on that statement. In fact he was praying for it. Because the barista was kinda cute. But no. The words appeared on his wrist moments before they were uttered. 

“The straw cools the coffee off on its way to my mouth hole.” 

Richter cringed. Oh no. Why him? He’s cute, too but WHY HIM?! Why not that cute barista boy?! And why did it have to be these words?! Emil’s head shot up. “Oh dear.” Suddenly both his wrists were tingling. It happened sometimes when someone had two simultaneous soulmates. Some people ended up picking one and letting the other mark fade. Some picked both if they could manage it. Emil had heard stories of as many as four simultaneous soulmates and there were legends of people who’d had even more. Emil glanced around, wondering who they could be. It hit him just as the words faded in on his arms and he locked eyes with the blond customer. Aster called out. “Yo! Barista boy! You can back me up on that, right? Drinking coffee with a straw isn’t weird, yeah?” “Oh, please! For real, you can settle this right now, my friend. Drinking coffee with a straw is barbaric right? Leaving the cup open like that while walking around in public, ready to spill on everyone! The correct way to drink a hot beverage is obviously from a travel mug or ceramic!” Aster and Richter both felt their other wrists tingle and they paused their argument, smiling faintly at the words that appear. “You’re both idiots and you need to stop yelling or my boss is gonna kick you out before I get your numbers.” “Seems like you’re going to be settling more than just this argument, huh?” Richter smiled. “You haven’t even asked him out and you’re expecting him to mediate all our arguments?” Aster sassed the redhead, elbowing him in the chest. “We don’t even know each other’s names!” The three convened at the counter as Colette came back to work the register. “I’m Richter.” The redhead offered his right hand to Emil. “Emil.” The blond flashed his nametag on his apron before shaking Richter’s hand with a smile. “Aster Laker.” The other blond reached out to Emil’s still extended hand for another handshake before reluctantly taking Richters.  Richter entered their names into his phone and they exchanged contacts. “Alright, thanks for that. I’ll text you our numbers, Emil.” His phone pinged as the text was sent. “Anyway, I don’t want to take up too much of your time. You’re working after all. But before I go harass this guy about his habits, can we get your professional barista opinion?” Richter grinned. Emil chuckled. “You’re both wrong. Iced coffee is the only good coffee so drinking a hot coffee any way you want to is wrong.” Aster cackled, nearly spilling his coffee as he doubled over laughing. “I can’t tell if you’re a contrarian or just want to dodge the question. This will be an interesting relationship for sure.” Richter smiled, sipping from the mouthpiece of his cup. “What if I drink my coffee through 25 swizzle sticks glued together?” Aster cackled. “Am I valid?” Emil and Richter just stared at him. “You’re insane.” Richter murmured, though his face was glowing with amusement. “Absolutely bonkers.” Emil laughed. “I’ll let you two know when I’m off. Don’t murder each other before I’m done with my shift, okay?” “No promises.” Richter smiled, walking Aster back to his table

[fiendfriend]

CW: mentions of trauma + abuse aftermath and illness. Nothing in detail and all extremely generalized. I’m yelling in circles about the idea of using Problematic Content To Cope.

The thing about using “problematic content to cope” is that so much of the time it’s taking advantage of the good faith of other people and actively causing harm to yourself and others. If you are truly writing or drawing or engaging in something Problematic to Cope, what purpose is there in making it public, or monetizing it, or branding it, or making it your entire personality, if not for the online validation or attention or for sexual purposes, or anything like that? 

This is explicitly about romanticisation. I don’t know if that’s a real word, but that’s what I’m talking about for the most part. This is not about people speaking or writing or creating art or engaging with music/literature/movies/etc relating to their personal situation as a way of opening up, starting a conversation, or processing what happened to them. That’s called “coping”. Like, real, actual coping, which most therapists and other professionals might encourage you to do. 

All people need spaces to work through their emotions without being shamed for it, yes, and everybody deals with the lingering effects of their own situations in different ways, yes, but coping is not the same thing as “it feels good” “it’s fun” “it’s sexy” “it’s interesting”.  

Coping is something that helps you make sense of your situation and helps you function better in daily life. Stop retraumatizing yourself. Stop exposing yourself to the events or subject matter that got you here in the first place. Do you think that’ll really help you? Not for the time being, not for tomorrow, but in the long term. The ultimate goal should, ideally, be to eventually stop. You can’t stay in that hole forever. You’ll get eaten alive. 

Do you know how insulting and hurtful and alienating it is to see other people around you find pleasure in something that caused and most likely still causes you pain? Do you have any idea how fucking humiliating that is?

There’s also the issue of co-opting the struggles of others for your own benefit (or detriment, whatever). I don’t mean how some posts will have a list of symptoms or behaviors with a flag on it that says ONLY INTERACT IF YOU HAVE X DISORDER. There are rarely ever clean cut borders when it comes to things like illness, ability, trauma, upbringing, class, all that fun shit. Overlap! Obviously I can’t speak for everybody. I don’t necessarily want clean cut borders. Does it hurt me to see stereotypes of my illness being treated as a fun quirky character flaw or trope to write porn about? Does it hurt me when I see people “exploring” scenarios that mirror my own illnesses or traumatic experiences? Of course it fucking hurts! It isn’t fair that some people get to explore something and then walk away. And most of it is done badly, anyway.

This is also not an issue of “don’t like, don’t look!” “do not interact if...!”

Everybody knows how unrealistic and naive that is. You can block every tag, every series, every user and writer and artist, and still encounter something that’ll fuck your whole entire day up. Does this mean no one is ever allowed to depict scary or upsetting or uncomfortable things? Nah. Does that mean doing so automatically makes you a bad and irredeemable person? Also nah. But you have to do it responsibly. 

I can empathize with people who turn to something harmful -- to an extent. I’ve done it. I still do it. I have so many godawful slasher movies and true crime books and painful to listen to CDs about abuse on my shelf right now. I talk about the gross and paranoia inducing parts of forensics and criminology classes, or the upsetting parts about my personal life, but only with people who I know for a fact are okay with hearing or seeing or knowing about it. Like my therapist, or my dad, or other people with an interest in forensics and criminology, or my close personal friends. Mostly my therapist, because he’s the one who went to school for handling that sort of information. 

I can empathize with people who turn to something harmful, but I cannot and refuse to empathize with anyone who knowingly puts vulnerable people at risk of trauma or victimization, or in positions of extreme discomfort.

If one is going to Cope using (for lack of a better term) ideologically harmful content, it needs to be done with extreme scrutiny and FUCKING HOPEFULLY a therapist. (Most of the time there is no therapist. I can dream.) By extreme scrutiny, I don’t mean tacking on a cute little “I don’t endorse this :) Don’t do it irl!“. I mean really looking deep inside yourself and analyzing what about it is pivotal to what you are trying to accomplish. And I also don’t mean looking at people who use this kind of thing as a coping mechanism for something terrible that happened to them and going “die, you freak.” Traumatized people or ill people or people in general who feel the urge to romanticize their past for any reason need compassion and support. Burying an emotion or urge without dealing with it is also not “coping”. Support and critical engagement is crucial when it comes to processing and letting go of harmful behaviors. 

Anyway, I’m going to post this and forget about it, or else I’ll keep coming back saying “AND ANOTHER THING” for twelve hours. The short of it is, if you feel like you absolute need to write about how hot violent acts of abuse are or how fun it is to draw disturbing porn or what the fuck ever, like if you reeeeeally need to do that or else you can’t function... don’t post about it, dude. Try talking to somebody who is equipped to handle it, without making it sexual or edgy or funny for once. 

Also, don’t reblog this, ya jerks! I’m not in the mood for randos coming at me with their bad opinions.

[embersrevived]

Questions Meme 

Tagged By: @sunflowercecil​

1. What is your name? “Nadir Darvish.” 

2. Do you know why you’re named that?” “Well ... I believe my parents specifically wanted their first and only child to have a name that either honored an important aspect of Parzian culture and tradition or was an homage to a renowned monarch in Parzian history, and eventually they decided on the latter. Nadir (Nader) Shah, if I recall correctly, was a king from a former dynasty who was renowned for his ingenuity and acumen, both as a statesman and military general. His military campaigns and exploits during his reign were so great that he has actually been dubbed ‘the second Alexander’ by some historians. I think my parents had been betting on having a male child at first, but then just decided to roll with it after I was born, haha.”

“Funny thing is, a lot of people just automatically assume that my name is meant to be some sort of ‘edgy’ moniker, like the antithesis of the word ‘zenith’ or something when that actually isn’t the case. Though that certainly doesn’t mean I appreciate the endearing little opposite-nickname that I was recently given, Zen-Zen, any less...~”  She furtively winks at @plague-doctor-jules

3. Are you single or taken? “Single. as a Pringle” 

4. Have any abilities or powers?

“Besides bringing all around me to their knees groaning with my tacky humor? Well ... incantation-wise, I feel I am somewhat proficient in spells that have to do with small-scale, temporary immobilization, like temporary stunning. Though I really refrain from utilizing such spells unless I truly feel the need to do so. The stunning spells really only are effective on small creatures, e.g. rats, roaches, etc. that I feel need to be halted in their tracks before being able to deal with them accordingly. Also some might argue that my horrendous jokes and puns constitute some sort of low-key ‘evil’ ability in themselves, haha.”

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

“Stop being an ‘idealized, seemingly perfect character? ... Hahahaha! How droll of you, when everyone knows that I’m practically the most awkward and gauche potato turtle in this here town. That’s a facetious jab at how I’m actually the complete and utter opposite of that, right? Right, it must be.” 

6. What’s your eye colour? “Very dark brown.” 

7. How about your hair colour?

“Very dark brunette, almost appearing even black from a distance.”

8. Have any family members?

“Yes, my mother and father, Setareh and Bardiya,  along with my maternal grandmother and grandfather, Roshanak and Cyrus. No siblings, though. I think after I was born, my parents decided that one was more than enough, hahaha ... I’ve been told that I was quite the troublesome little stinker as a tot.” 

9. Oh! How about pets?

“Well, I’m not sure if I should go about referring to my familiar as a pet, but my  albeit adorable call duck, Ordak is the only one I have currently. Back when I lived with my parents and not the magic shop, I did used to own a boisterous blue budgie, though ... someone forgot to close the door to his cage, and the little poopsie just chirped his wee heart out before suddenly taking off, never to be seen or heard from again.” 

10. That’s cool, I guess, now tell me something you don’t like.

“Well ... I must admit I don’t really appreciate people who are overly snippy or snarky just for the sake of it when it isn’t really necessary, or because they find it ‘quirky’, ‘trendy’, or ‘edgy’ to do so. Basically people who show little consideration for others’ feelings in general, especially if they do so because they believe their elevated social status or sense of ego gives them a pass to do so. And people who just find it absolutely acceptable to do away completely with common courtesy when dealing or speaking with you just because they decide they don’t like, click with, or understand you as a person, or they personally find some attributes of yours irksome.”

“I mean, I feel you must always at least try to put a conscious effort into politely and tactfully dealing with even those you don’t jive well with or like much, I think. Especially because there will always be people you find yourself not being overly fond of, or who aren’t overly fond of you, there is just too much effort and negative energy to be put into going out of one’s way to not be civil towards others, at least initially.” 

“Also overly arrogant and condescending individuals, lord knows I’ve dealt with more than a fair share of those in my time, both in and out of  the realm of academia. Overly pretentious and critical individuals in general also. Though ... perhaps I have been too verbose and ranty in giving this answer, I do apologize. I ... I do tend to talk a lot, haha. In summation: just overly inconsiderate individuals in general.” 

11. Do you have any hobbies/activities that you like to do?

“Writing poetry at times, sketching, drawing, reading, occasionally engaging in mischievous antics, etc. ...” 

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?

“Oh, I’m sure ... I mean, I have certainly gotten into disagreements and all that with people in the past, and in doing so the distressed, angry tone that I may have utilized in the heat of it all may have hurt some feelings in the past. And I’d almost always feel some sort of guilt afterwards, even if things wound up being patched up and resolved betwixt myself and the individual with whom I’d had the spat. Though it is never my intention to go out of my way to make anyone feel badly about themselves or hurt anyone’s feelings.”

“But if you meant physically, no I don’t think - ... Wait. Wait. That one time, when the Ginger Floof  Julian barged into the shop and scared the bejeezus out of me with his overly dramatic, villainous entrance, of course how could I so easily forget ...” However, she does avert her gaze to the ground in shame as she recalls the events of that fateful night. “Well ... I did hurt Julian that ... one time when I threw that glass bottle during the invasion that one night, but I ... I didn’t know who he was at the time, and I certainly had zero idea as to what his intentions were ... though that doesn’t mean I don’t still feel the occasional pang of guilt, especially when I specifically recall that graphic image of the blood pooling and dripping down his cheek as a result of the injury inflicted around his eye.”

A sad, remorseful look engulfs the apprentice’s face before she snaps out of the flashback. “Ah ... I do apologize, ehr ... next question, please.” 

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

“No. Though I’ve perhaps come close to doing so with my barrage of gods-awful puns” 

14. What kind of animal are you?

“I have been told by a few in the past that because of my more timid nature, I can be akin to a small rodent, like a mouse or a hamster, at times. Though my familiar is currently a wee baby call duckling who, though rather sweet and cute, can be quite the boisterous little stinker at times, which I’ve been told is apparently another side of me that is ‘unlocked’ once I get to know people and am coaxed out of my shell. So I guess it’s somewhat fitting in that sense, haha.” 

15. Name your worst habits?

“I tend to become distracted fairly easily, I reluctantly admit. Also, I ... I tend to allow my insecurities and anxieties take control and cause me to make decisions or act in ways that ultimately prove to be counterproductive. Also over analyzing things, people, and situations almost to the point of obsession, to the point where I find myself often skeptical and cynical of other’s motives and sincerity, allowing my insecurities and fears to hinder and inhibit me mentally and socially.” 

16. Do you look up to anyone?

“I look up to any individual who remains steadfast and dedicated to their cause or line of work, whether it be academic, scientific, humanitarian, etc. in nature, and shows a genuine interest in acquiring knowledge in their selected field of interest and applying that knowledge for the betterment of others. I admire anyone who has defined themselves and devoted their purpose to the likes of altruism, benevolence, and kindness. A certain auburn-haired, fugitive physician would be the quintessential example of this, along with his lovely and equally sweet sister.” 

“I also admire those who yet manage to be levelheaded and resolute in the face of adverse situations, those who seem to know how to improvise, adapt, and persist in the face of any given hardship, or who devote themselves to supporting and assisting others finding themselves in such situations. My father comes to mind.”

17. Are you straight, gay, or bisexual?

“I believe I’m straight ... Though these sorts of things have been said to not be entirely black and white, with it being a spectrum and all, so who can really say for sure?” 

18. Do you go to school?

“Been there, done that, haha.” 

19. Ever wanted to marry and have kids one day?

“I’ve never even really ... been in a relationship before, so I must admit that the thought of marriage has been a more distant one, and children even more so. One step at a time I guess? Ahahahaha ...” Sweat drop. 

“Though me, in any sort of relationship, with my awkward and anxious tendencies? Is that even possible” 

20. Do you have any fans?

“Why yes, I do as a matter of fact.~” And with that, she proceeds to whip out an intricately designed, vibrantly hued hand fan that Asra had brought her back from one of his previous travels. And yes, she knows very well that is not quite what the question meant. Something of a cheeky grin forms on her visage shortly after giving this response. 

21. What are you most afraid of?

“...Failure. My internalized insecurities and anxieties mentally obstructing my path and goals and clouding my vision and perception of the future. Not being good enough, ineptitude, then possibly dying after having ultimately accomplished little more than becoming carrion for the microbes and worms to feast upon. ... Wow, that definitely came out darker than I had initially intended, ehr ... sorry about that.” 

22. What do you usually wear?

“Ah, just the usual casual dresses, shirts, and pants, truthfully nothing fancy in the least.” 

23. What’s one food that tempts you?

“Ohh ... I’m sure there are a myriad of dishes that could be used to answer this, but if I had to settle on one? Pomegranate chicken, especially like my mother makes it, especially when coupled with this fizzy carbonated yogurt beverage that we have back home in Parzia ... you’d have to actually see and try it if you don’t know what I’m referring to, haha; it sounds a bit weird to those who didn’t grow up with it.” 

24. Am I annoying to you?

“Ah, no, not at all ... am I annoying to you? I do hope ... that I haven’t been overly loquacious or rambling in giving my answers? If so, my apologies.” 

25. Well, it’s still not over!

“Aha, great. Wait ... that wasn’t meant sardonically, I promise, a-apologies if it came out sounding like that. Please continue.” 

26. What social class are you?

“I’d say more of the middle class, perhaps more on the lower end. Though we know that in the eyes of a certain gilded and flamboyant noble, that we are all seen equally as commoners and peasants, haha.” 

27. How many friends do you have?

“Uh ... well, I definitely consider Mas- ... I mean Asra to be a kind companion and friend ... and then there is Julian, whose company I’ve come to be rather at ease with to the point of engaging in regular banter and teasing. Portia is positively delightful and lovely as well. The Devorak duo is a true blessing, seriously. Such sweet, benevolent siblings. Selasi is rather amiable too, and I’ve had many a pleasant conversation with him every time I venture out into the market. Nadia has always been kind and polite to me, though I am not too sure if she’d regard me as a ‘friend’ just yet ... And I don’t think Muriel likes me very much, unfortunately.” 

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

“Aha, I’m not picky at all when it comes to saccharine treats, I pretty much think they’re all savory, cakes, pies, candies, etc. Though that doesn’t mean I indulge myself in them of course, haha. Certainly could do without anymore junk in the trunk” 

29. Favourite drink?

“Something known as the Parzian fizzy yogurt drink, basically exactly what the name says, plain yogurt mixed with carbonated water, with a pinch of salt and some mint to top it off.” 

30. What’s your favourite place?

“I don’t have one favorite place, to be honest ... Basically any place that is picturesque, serene, and allows me to pacify my nerves and be alone with my thoughts and away from the commotion of the general public, I guess. And I also must admit that the forbidden gardens in the abandoned courtyard that I visited with Julian that one time were quite lovely, I certainly wouldn’t mind revisiting that place.” 

31. Are you interested in anyone?

“Er ... W-well, I’m interested in a lot of people! Each and every individual has their own intriguing persona, a-after all ... Especially those towering, swaggering, cockily grinning types who tease yet become tomato-blushing, flustered messes the instant you give them even the smallest sample of their own medicine.” 

32. That was a stupid question…

“Ah, no, not really actually...” 

33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?

“The lake, at least I’m less likely to be encountering any aquatic creatures bearing sharp teeth in a freshwater body as opposed to the saline, haha. Also already having to experience one type of “shark week” is more than enough.” 

34. What’s your type?

“Er ... Well, I guess just someone who’s kind, sincere, considerate, with a good sense of humor. Because honestly, even if someone is generally perceived as being ‘classically attractive’ or whatnot, it really matters little if their personality is unpleasant or lacking in general. To be honest, I really don’t have a specific ‘type’ so to speak...” 

35. Any fetishes?

Something of a dumbfounded expression appears on the apprentice’s face, though she is quick to vehemently shake her head. “What? Uhhh .... no? Not that I ... know of? No. Ahem, next question, if you please.” A crimson hue proceeds to engulf her cheeks. 

36. Camping or outdoors?

“Uhh ... wait, camping takes place outdoors? ... Unless you mean camping vs. just walking about and enjoying the outdoors in general, in which case I must say the latter. Just ... the thought of all sorts and species of creepy crawlies clambering over me while I’m trying to sleep in a tent would make camping the less preferable option.” 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tagging: @plague-doctor-jules​ @conceitedxglory​ @nevivorona​ @asrage​ @humortremors​ @caesiis​ @unlicensedmartyr​ @bluemoontm​ @mnemosys​ @bitters-enthusiast @strsha

Questions: 

1. What is your name?

2. Do you know why you’re named that?”

3. Are you single or taken?

4. Have any abilities or powers?

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

6. What’s your eye colour?

7. How about your hair colour?

8. Have any family members?

9. Oh! How about pets?

10. That’s cool, I guess, now tell me something you don’t like.

11. Do you have any hobbies/activities that you like to do?

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

14. What kind of animal are you?

15. Name your worst habits?

16. Do you look up to anyone?

17. Are you straight, gay, or bisexual?

18. Do you go to school?

19. Ever wanted to marry and have kids one day?

20. Do you have any fans?

21. What are you most afraid of?

22. What do you usually wear?

23. What’s one food that tempts you?

24. Am I annoying to you?

25. Well, it’s still not over!

26. What social class are you?

27. How many friends do you have?

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

29. Favourite drink?

30. What’s your favourite place?

31. Are you interested in anyone?

32. That was a stupid question…

33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?

34. What’s your type?

35. Any fetishes?

36. Camping or outdoors?

[shigironki]

~BIO FOR MY BULLY OC, VICTORIA CLAIRE KENNEDY~ i feel like i left too much out for my baby girl, and also changed so much of her. :B ALSO I FINALLY GOT OFF MY LAZY ASS AND MADE HER A FULL BIO, GO ME!!

Biographical Information  Name – Victoria Claire Kennedy Age - 17, sophomore year   Birthday – September 7th Astrological Sign -  virgo    Gender - female Ethnicities   Distant Descendants: none that she truly knows currently. 

Dominant Descendants: American  Physical Description  Hair Color – hazel/black hair, very wavy and curly, never has it straight Eye Color - Hazel Weight – 165 lb Height – 5′5 ft Figure/Build – Is an hour glass figure, thighs are big, is 37 C cup, curvy waist, and has slight chub onto her stomach, face is chubby as well. Distinguishing Features/Scars/ or Birthmarks – There are scars (very light; you can’t see them unless you look very close) on her right wrist that are medium sized, very light. has a scar onto her knee from when she was little. Has stretch marks on her hips that are very deep, and also on her breast, arms, and knees. She does have freckles, on her face, shoulders, and crotch-area. Tattoos: none Piercings: has two little piercings on her ears, and a nipple piercing 

Frequently Worn Jewelry: She tends to wear rings on her middle finger, does wear chokers (mainly black, but sometimes pink as well).

Typical Clothing Wear: Victoria tends to wear her school uniforms more often, but out of school she tends to wear cutesy clothes; pink shorts, “kawaii” dresses/skirts, formal shirts. She does also tend to wear one of Johnny or Gary’s shirts (ones they gave to her) With a pair of leggings. Never wears jeans unless they’re shorts.

Personal Information  

Current Living Arrangements -  Currently lives in a two story home in towards the forested areas of Bullworth. 

Traveled Territories – She currently has only traveled from Florida (last home) to Bullworth.

Hobbies -  Writing, knitting, playing games, drawing, and sleeping a lot.

Fears – Abandonment, overcrowded places, the dark, father, and abandoned places.

Religion/Beliefs – Currently has no idea.

Why?: She was raised in a non-religion family household, her parents nor grandparents never really got her into religion 

Health Behaviors  

Physical Ailments/ Disabilities/ Issues – Currently has PTSD, MDD, anxiety and Bipolar Disorder. She has has loss of feeling in her pinky on the right side of her wrist.

Addiction(s) [Sex, Drugs, Smoking, Alcohol, Other]: She currently smokes pot, and has trouble saving money and spending it on important stuff

Why?: Smoking pot helps her calm down, and it was sorta forced onto her at a young age (13 years old) and she never really tried quitting, along with money, she never fully had anything so spending it on stuff she immediately loves is “always the right thing”

Any regular medication taken? – Antidepressants, and nighttime medications.

Chronological Information  

Profession – A waitress for a local diner

Likes – Pastel clothes, cute stuff animals, animal crossing, Word Of Warcraft, G&G, and reading, along with smelling candles and perfume

Dislikes – Anyone who’s a dick, bullying, toxic people, and acne

Goals/Ambitions – Currently wants to be a nurse for a children’s hospital 

Most Instructive/Painful/Memorable Experience – Mainly her childhood; as she was bullied to the extreme, she turned off her emotions and stopped caring for others. Along with her father being put into jail, she grew with her grandparents and with her two sisters. This caused her to go into a mental meltdown, soon cursing and getting extreme mood swings, and with getting into violent situations, she grew hating everyone and everything, and never letting anymore get close to her.

Weapons/Equipment – Mainly uses her fist and feet for combat, also carries a rainbow pocket knife for protection. (She also has a Hello Kitty bat in her dorm room in case).

Personal Attributes  

Personality - Victoria’s personality can be summed up with two words; asshole, and caring person. As she grew with showing nor feeling any emotions, it takes her awhile to understand which emotion she’s currently feeling, which ends with being a bitch towards others in defense, and even being sarcastic towards those she feels are gonna toy with her or use her. She’s very hard to get used to, or even close to, but once you do, she’s a very gentle and sweet girl. She truly cares about those that have shown her love and kindness, and sometimes gets too trusting and stops caring for herself, just to love those who have shown her politeness and love. She gets carried away too much, and sometimes overreacts to stuff very quickly, but once you get close, she will truly love you for who you are and accepts you instantly.

Strengths - Quirky and very funny, knows a lot about science and math, knows how to fight, very good at talking out of sticky situations, persuasive to the maximum, and knows how to copy someone else handwriting very quickly. 

Weaknesses - Very angered easily, low self-esteem, her PTSD makes her scared of being hurt and yelled at, cannot be in the same room as a male adult, trust too easily, cries nearly about everything.

Good Habits – Tries to be there for everyone, helps when needed, charismatic, drops everything for others.

Bad Habits – Doesn’t watch her language as often, eats waay too much, gets upset and irritated instantly, makes everything into a joke about herself, (Doesn’t do this anymore) uses pain as a way to help her emotions onto herself.

Fetishes/Strange Behaviors – No fetishes, but does bite her ear bud cords, shakes her legs hard, bites her nails and sweater sleeves.

Stereotype – With wearing cute clothes and looking very sweet, she certainly does not fit the stereotype. She’s a potty mouth, bluntly tells the truth, and makes sure people know not to ever mess with her. 

Ratings on Personal Qualities  

Physical Strength: 7/10  As good as she is with fighting, she currently does feel pain a lot more than normal, as in one good punch to her and she’s down to the ground.

Attractive: 7/10  her outfits put people off instantly, but people seem to admire how she looks in a lot of pastel colors.

Honesty : 4/10 As much as she wants to tell the truth most times, she sadly can’t bring herself to tell the full truth about someone. She cares more about the person than the harsh truth.

Rule Abiding : 3/10   Lmao, rules? They don’t exist much to Victoria. She does break a lot of school rules, but makes sure to never break her home rules or grandparents.

Sociability : 8/10   She truly is the social butterfly type. Cliques don’t matter to her at all, she likes you? She’ll want to be your friend instantly.

Bullworth Academy Information  

Victoria has attended Bullworth for two years, for freshmen and now sophomore. As she dropped out of middle school to get her life more stress free, she had to repeat 8th grade in order to go into high school. And with all the troubles she had caused in Florida, Bullworth was the only academy to accept her.

Knowledgeability  

Language(s) – English, and French.

Schooling Level – Sophomore(??)

Expertise – languages

Reading Level – above average

Relationships Statuses    

Trusted Companions

Closest Friend(s) – Beatrice Trudeau

Even with Victoria not so big into math or any subject, her and Beatrice have been extremely close since Freshmen year. They both have a close friendship, and are there for each other 24/7, no matter the situation. She doesn’t like some of her best friends choices, but she makes sure she’s okay and safe and sound. ((When her and Jimmy “had a falling out” Victoria was there for her all night, helping her and making sure she was okay)).

Friend(s) – cornelius johnson, algernon papadopoulos, peanut romano, lola lombardi, petey kowalski, jimmy hopkins

* cornelius johnson: They both enjoy musicals, and science most of the time. She tends to go to him for the latest update of a musical that’s going on, and they both can giggle and cry over anything like Romeo and Juliet. They’re good friends for sure, and never really hang outside of school.

* algernon papadopoulos: As much as the two never see eye to eye, they usually have a good time during G&G, him joking about her “Edgy” characters she plays, and make jokes about the campaign. She never bothers to get to know him, as she never has the energy to handle his excitement, or usually understand what he’s talking about.

* Peanut Romano: He’s her first ever real friend when she had gotten to Bullworth, and nothing makes her happy than to hear about what Lucky or Ricky did that was stupid. She sees Peanut as a brother type of person she can trust, she tends to go to him when she feels like Johnny’s out of line, or what to do when he’s not okay. They both really enjoy each other’s company.

* Lola Lombardi: They both didn’t see eye to eye after her and Johnny broke up, and Victoria began to date him. Of course, with some small talk and hanging out, they both became good friends instantly, with Lola showing what type of clothes could get Johnny going, or helping her with make up tips. Lola is a type of friend to listen to Victoria talk about anything and just nod and agree.

* jimmy hopkins: As much as he isn’t okay with her dating both Gary and Johnny, he’s still there for her a lot of times. They have a weird friendship, at times they wouldn't’ speak to each other for weeks on end, then the next time they’re talking non stop and making a fuss in the classroom. *Pete kowalski: Victoria was really the one to never call him a dork or a loser, she actually enjoys hanging out with him, playing video games and talking about drama of the school. She does love his comebacks to Gary a lot of times, and always is there for him no matter what.

Hated Rivals

Worst Enemies – The Jocks, she truly hates them all due to constant bullying they do with the nerds.

Intolerable Students – 

* Mandy Wiles: With her constant putting down on Beatrice, she truly cannot stand Mandy for the dear life of her. The constant joking and poking fun at her best friend, it made her hate her instantly as soon as she had gotten there.

Tolerated Students – She doesn’t tolerate much people, either she likes you, dislikes you, or just doesn't talk much to you. 

Tolerated Townsfolk - No one currently

Hot Encounters  

Hinted Attractions - Gary Smith, Johnny Vincent (before they all had began to date)

Crush(es) - none

Lover(s) - Gary Smith, Johnny Vincent.  

She wasn’t fond of Gary at first, but given that they started to tolerate each other, she began to learn more and more about him, understanding where he’s coming from as she had parents who didn’t care for her, or wouldn’t try to. They became friends with benefits at first, as she was hypersexual and he wanted a stress relief, but as soon as they made it a normal thing, he began to develop a crush for her, hating it ever so much as she got into a relationship with Johnny. As she brought up that she could date both of them, with their consent of course, Johnny wasn’t okay with it at all first, as that was his girl and only his, but as she began to stress more and more about this, he caved in and gave it a try. It was all very stressful and full of fighting until Johnny began to try and get close and get used to his presence. They’re all fully comfortable now, still some annoyance from both boys here and there, but it’s easily resolved.

Ex(s) - Unless you count people who dated her for a day, then no 

Extra Information

Eating Habits

Omnivore/Carnivore/Herbivore – omnivore

Favorite Food(s): Bagel Bites

Favorite Drink(s): Soda, red bulls, smoothies, and orange juice

Disliked Food(s): peas, Brussels sprouts, and tomatoes

Disliked Drink(s): tea  

Added Information

Scent – Lavender, and/or honey

Favorite Color: black, pastel colors

Favorite Season: summer

Favorite Animal: frogs, chickens, bunnies, and cats

Favorite Music Genre: kpop, 2000′s pop, 80′s, 90′s, and death metal

[uncloseted]

1/2 i feel very childish and stupid all the time. i can be very hyper and laugh a lot because i'm always down and i try to lift myself up. i could imagine people finding that annoying. or on the other hand i don't talk at all. which is also weird. i am also very awkward and i always say weird things. i'm giving a very confused and messy vibe. i sometimes feel fake because i don't really know who i am and what's the real me. i try to be all happy but i'm not and i hate it honestly. i wanna be

Anonymous said to effys-closet:                                                                     

2/2 all cool and interesting. like those bad girls in movies. like a gangster girl but super cool and elegant at the same time. what can i do to not feel like a clown? i mean, people think i am funny i believe but i can't be taken serious because i am so quirky. i don't feel like a woman i feel like a little girl. and i am already 18 and 18 is the legal age where i live. so i feel like i need to be less childish and finally behave like an adult. but i don't know how....            

Maybe that girl isn’t you, and that’ totally okay.  There are a lot of ways to be yourself, but I think when you’re at your most authentic, that’s when other people will appreciate you and want to be with you/around you.  And that’s hard, because there are so many other influences from the outside that we have and ways that people view us that may or may not be authentic.  I would focus on what you already know about yourself and go from there- what sort of a person are you sure you are?  Who do you identify with, and what do you feel like you share with them?  Which personalities and styles feel authentic to you?  Once you have an idea of who you are now, you can figure out who the ideal version of you is.  Maybe it’s not a gangster girl or someone that’s edgy or elegant.  Maybe it’s a Zooey Deschanel sort of quirky, cute, funny thing, or something else entirely, but I think your best self needs to stem from who you actually are and what feels right to you.

[silentauroriamthereal]

Star Wars: The Last Jedi thoughts

There are spoilers in this post, so I’m putting all of it under a cut!!!

In no particular order: 

-I loved Rose! What a great addition! What a great character! She’s such a beautiful person in every way, from her touching belief in Finn to her lack of fear in calling him out, to her joy in setting the racing animal free, to her heartrending grief over her sister, her unhesitating giving up of the pendant for the sake of the mission, her heroic saving of Finn, that kiss! I want to hug her for ten years and tell her that she’s incredible

-I love Poe Dameron just so much. He’s loyal and edgy and has 4,000 fucktons of flair to every single thing he does and he’s just tremendous. LOVE him! I was so happy that there was so much more of him in this one, and his “phone call” with Hux at the beginning was hysterically funny

-that said, I also kind of loved the way the two strong, older women in here didn’t hesitate to sit him down on his ass when it needed to happen. Laura Dern’s Vice-Admiral Holdo was surprisingly moving with her kickass, self-sacrificing move in the end. I loved her interactions with Leia, and of course I loved everything about Leia. I’ll even forgive that bizarre, unprecedented space walk thingy. I loved her costuming in this, plus her gentle humour and fantastic leadership, and that her connection to Luke was as strong as ever, once Luke decided to check back into the Force

-Luke was... interesting in this. When we got to the milking scene and then the catching of the giant fish, I was just like... okay, dude has gotten DECIDEDLY weird in his isolation, but then he was everything in the end. Then again, maybe that stuff is the same thing as Aunt Beru’s blue milk?? Coming back when Leia needed him the most, when the Resistance needed him the most? Beautiful. His entire projection thing was just incredible, and the dusting off his shoulders thing? Amazing! Plus the “see you around, kid” - that was golden! I loved him! 

-this will probably make some of you hate me, but I’m not that fussed about Finn. I like that he left the First Order, but he’s mostly comic relief and he’s a bloody coward. I thought he’d gotten over his running away thing in the first movie, jeez! I was so disgusted by that. I get that he was thinking of Rey, too, but it wasn’t only that. He also got on my nerves in the first one with constantly thinking he needed to save Rey or take her hand to “help” her or ask if she was okay when she was always seventeen steps ahead of him and way more okay than he ever was. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t hate him or anything; he’s just not my top favourite

-ship-wise, this is interesting! After the first one, I was shipping Finn/Poe quite a bit, but would have settled for Finn/Rey as a decent second choice. Now I find myself very drawn to Kylo (Ben)/Rey - they were just so magnetic in every scene they had together! Finn/Rose would be nice for Rose, but he doesn’t deserve her. I’d still ship Finn/Poe any day, and this movie didn’t crush that possibility, which I like. It will be very interesting to see how that turns out! Rey closing the Falcon’s door in Kylo’s face was powerful. Intense. 

-Kylo: wow. He struck me mostly as a whiny kid in the first one and now I find myself much more invested in him! Having Han’s heart - wow. That’s powerful and beautiful and I feel that love will save him in the end. I loved the moment where he took his thumb off the trigger and deliberately did NOT kill his mother. Still sucks that he let other people do it, but baby steps, I guess? I guess Hux is his bitch now, too. Ha!

-Rey: interesting! I don’t really have a lot to say about her, interestingly. I like her. She was good. I also don’t think for a second that it was Snoke who connected their minds. Seems like that just happened naturally, but what do I know. 

-Yoda: loved!! He was perfect! I honestly did not know that Frank Oz was still alive, but how delightful that he is! Yoda was the perfect mix of quirky and wise and I love that Luke never stopped learning from him, even at this point

-Benicio del Toro’s character was interesting, too. I rather wonder if we’ll see him again

-all the reviews I read called the porgs annoying, but I genuinely found them cute, and the crystal foxes were beautiful! The fish nuns were very odd, though

-speaking of reviews, all the claims that this movie has “plot holes” is frankly ridiculous! It’s part 2 of a 3-part series, you idiots - of COURSE there are “holes”; the story isn’t over! smh, seriously

In short, I liked it! I need to see it about 10 more times now! 

[skygemspeaks]

My family is going to be moving houses at the end of June, and since I’ve started packing away my books, I thought I might as well share some of my books with y’all and give some book recs while I’m at it!

First up is the LGBTQ+ books I own. Unfortunately, I don’t have very many given it’s kinda difficult to find ones with plots that I like. (I contemplated whether or not to include the wtnv novel in this one, but seeing as it’s not centered around Cecil and Carlos, I decided to leave it out for now).

But anyways, here they are:

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz - A coming-of-age story about two young Mexican boys, Aristotle “Ari” Mendoza and Dante Quintana, who are as different as can be, but who somehow manage to forge an unbreakable connection that spans from childhood to adolescence, and beyond. Ari is angry and confused and from a broken family. Dante is gentle, and emotional, and is “crazy about his parents”. Dante knows he’s gay. And Ari has no idea what to make of his relationship with his best friend.

This one is super sweet and isn’t in the picture because it’s with Natsu at the moment. But it’s really thoughtful and adorable, and I just love Ari and Dante to bits and pieces. Definitely a must-read, guys!

Beautiful Music For Ugly Children by Kirstin Cronn-Mills -  About a young trans teen named Gabe who recently came out to his best friend and parents. The book is about him trying to make peace with who he is. Mostly, he does this through his love of music, and his bond with his next door neighbour, an old man who helps him get his first radio show, where he quickly develops a following of fans who fall for his unique taste in music and his quirky personality. 

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell - A Harry Potter-inspired fantasy book with an absolutely fascinating magic system. We follow an orphaned chosen one who’s just trying to get through the his last school year at his magic boarding school, the Watford School of Magicks, while the entire magical community somehow expects him to save them from the villain who’s been stealing their magic. And not to mention having to deal with his archnemesis vampire roommate who has probably been trying to kill him since the moment they met in first year. But after being broken up with by his girlfriend, and invited to his aforementioned archnemesis’ house over Christmas break, needless to say nothing is going as he would have expected. This entire book reads like some kind of strange, drarry roommates au fanfiction, and it’s absolutely GLORIOUS.

every day by David Levithan -  “A” doesn’t have a body of their own. For every single morning of their life, they’ve woken up in a different person’s body, with no friends or family or life to call their own. And it’s all fine. A’s gotten used to it, made peace with their fate. They’ve learned not to get too attached to anyone, learned not to attract too much attention or interfere too much with the life of the body they wake up in. That is, until they somehow find themselves falling in love with the girlfriend of one of the guys whose body they’re borrowing one day. I actually had to consider for a while whether or not to include this book, because a lot of the most important bodies A inhabits throughout this book are male bodies, and the main female lead is straight. But A themself is nonbinary and pan. They identify as whatever gender the body they’re in is, and are attracted to people regardless of their gender. Loved this book to bits and pieces, really bittersweet. It has a sequel called “Another Day” which is focused mainly on the Rhiannon, the female love interest, but I haven’t read that one yet since I’m not terribly interested in her.

Fan Art by Sarah Tregay - This one is....very juvenile. And by that, I mean it’s one of those idyllic, clichéd ya romances that we all like to pretend we don’t like, but that has all the tropes that we just adore in fanfiction and that we inevitably end up finishing in one sitting. It’s about a high schooler named Jamie who’s recently realized he’s head over heels for his (seemingly) straight best friend, Mason. Cue teen drama and angst and mutual pining. A really cute, light read with an adorable little comic near the beginning.

More Than This by Patrick Ness - Seth attempts suicide by trying to drown himself, and is pretty sure he succeeded. He felt his skull bash against the rocks after all. Only...he wakes up, naked, thirsty, starving, and utterly alone. He has absolutely no clue where he is, but the abandoned, crumbling, overgrown streets seem somehow vaguely familiar to him.

A suspenseful, thrilling, heartbreaking post-apocalypse with a gay protag that absolutely definitely has room for a sequel, though I don’t think the author has any plans to write one.

Openly Straight by Bill Konigsberg - Rafe Goldberg is openly gay, and has a pretty good life. His parents are super supportive, he’s popular at school and has lots of friends, and no one really cares that he’s gay. But he’s getting tired of always being labelled as “the gay friend”. He just wants to be a “regular guy” and not “the gay guy.” So when he transfers to an all-boys’ boarding school, he decides to become “openly straight” instead. But just when everything was going perfectly for him, it all starts unravelling when he finds himself falling for one of his new friends.

I have mixed feelings about this one. I enjoyed it quite a bit while I was reading it, but the ending left me quite unsatisfied, and after having some time away to think about it, I’m not entirely sure I like the main character very much. He’s kinda really manipulative. Read at your own risk.

Proxy by Alex London - Sydney “Syd” Carton is a proxy. Rescued from the wastelands as an infant, his debt to the city was bought by a huge corporation that sells the lives of orphans like him to various rich and powerful people, who buy them as scapegoats for their own children. Syd’s patron, Knox Brindle, is exactly the rebellious, asshole bad boy that every proxy dreads. When Knox breaks an expensive vase, Syd is beaten. When Knox crashes a car, Syd is forced to donate a dangerous amount of blood to keep him alive. When a girl dies because of Knox’s aforementioned car crash...Syd gets the death penalty. His mad attempt to flee his fate leads to the accidental kidnapping of his patron and has the two of them branded as terrorists, leading to a crazy, cross-country chase that will change their entire world as they know it.

This book. Is literally one of my favourite books in the entire fucking world. Hands down the best dystopia book I’ve ever read. The characters are absolutely fantastic, the character development is fucking amazing (Knox somehow ended up becoming my fav character???), the world is rich and vibrant, and the book is beautiful and thrilling and utterly heartbreaking. If you read just one book from this entire list, let it be this one. It also has a sequel, for those of you interested, though I haven’t read it (and don’t plan on it either), so I can’t really vouch for it.

Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan - When two boys from completely different social circles and personalities somehow stumble across each other on one mutually crappy night, their shared name brings both their lives careening together in a strange, complicated, and downright frustrating way.

This one....was kinda dark. It was funny, because one of the Will Graysons is an edgy lil emo kid who thinks strictly in lowercase and writes angsty poetry and he’s absolutely adorable. But it also addresses some very real hardships and struggles that both gay and straight teens have to face. 

[kaijunuggets]

Cards Against Humanity's "for Her": Why the company is garbage and this is yet another corporate bag of pinkwashing trash.

By me; a professional in Applied Linguistics

I get it. You like to feel edgy and quirky with your friends as you play a game that caters to a life of relative privilege. Cards Against Humanity is probably your favorite party game, you can learn about what a horrible person everyone around you is. Everything is a joke. Cool beans, got it. If that’s the case, I’m sure you saw the new “For Her”box set. I’m here to tell you why this is total fucking garbage and you should maybe consider Apples to Apples. I won’t be reiterating the common backlashes against CAH, specifically how the decks cater and make light of racism, sexism, and, until recently, transphobia, but rather building on existing criticisms to show you this burning tire fire that looks great but literally everything else about it stinks.

PRO: 1) it's adorable and pink. #aesthetic. I want it on my shelf. I’m not going to lie, I like cute things. 2) proceeds go to Emily's List which promotes women in politics. Totally cool. 3) IDK the images are kinda funny?

CON:

1) The whole page is written like satire. I get it. For her products are hilarious in a sad way. The company is building on this but rather than building a compelling satire, it feels as if they are treating everything that is stereotypically “feminine” and associated with womanhood as a joke. At first, it’s kind of funny. The first line of text of the website says “Everyone hates it when the men retire to the parlor to discuss the economy and the various issues of today. What are us ladies supposed to do?” It’s funny in a way that’s terribly sad because it’s still very real. It’s a relational humor. But then it keeps going and it no longer feels funny. It feels more targeted and purposeful to openly mock what society considers to be typically feminine.

I get it. It's supposed to be a joke, however it's really fucking garbage to pit femininity against itself. This whole thing reeks of "I don't have a lot of friends who are girls, boys don't have as much drama" and “I’m not like other girls”-esque attitudes.

2) The Introduction: "It's exactly the same as the original Cards Against Humanity game, but the box is pink and it costs $5 more." At first, I was of the opinion that this was just the pink tax. Maybe that’s the joke: “you’re paying for pink hahaha isn’t this a quirky way to discuss the pink tax?”. No. Once again, if that was the joke, you’re just buying into the pink tax. There’s no MANLY GUNMETAL BLACK OX MUSK SCENTED edition for another $5 because the brand already markets itself to men primarily and are never faced with this kind of price hike for the sake of a price hike.

My second issue with this is that it’s all the same cards. Cards Against Humanity has been called out for being transphobic, to which they responded by pulling their transphobic cards, but there still exists an onslaught of racist and sexist cards. If I wanted a “For Her” edition, couldn’t you at least do me the service of removing the sexist cards? Ideally, I would like one without any of the racist, dead baby, holocaust/hilter cards- but hey that’s just a dream. For a “For Her” box, you’d think removing the sexist cards would be a no brainer but it just makes this feel like pink washing.

3) The extra $5. This comes up again in the FAQ on the webpage. There is still no mention of the charity aspect. The posed question is “But why is it $5 more?”, the only answer given is “Because we’re worth it”. The only mention of the charity is at the very bottom under the ‘contact us’ and ‘cards against humanity store’. The charity isn’t actually important. It feels like they tossed it in there to try and avoid backlash from these kinds of critiques. It feels like “Oh, maybe if we’re charging an extra $5 we should put a charity behind it so people don’t criticize us as harshly”. It’s a messy strategy and drives that pink tax “joke” a little harder to the point where it hurts.

4) Is the product necessary? The appropriate answer might have been “no but we wanted to”. Instead, it goes on to list a series of “feminine” or “girly” activities in such a way that feels entirely sarcastic. To be honest, it feels like a stereotype for your typical millennial white feminist so I can’t tell if this is who made the product or who the product is being made for. Both probably. In either case, once again mainstream femininity and womanhood are the butt of the joke and damn, aren’t you tired of that yet?

Can’t wait for their Pride Edition next year with a rainbow box but all the same cards, including the homophobic ones.