#this isn’t an innuendo

[cheezyratz]

Miguel: im not in love with peter

Peter B: *eating a meatball sub at Lightning speed*

Miguel: oh god I’m in love with peter

[swordmaid]

i am wide awake thinking about that post canon jb au again when I should be sleeping …!!! such is the nature of the jbrainrot…

[tom-hossain-minis]

What do you think? Second kitbashed model.

[princessfbi]

GOOOOOOOOOODDDDDD!!!!!

I cannot believe we have bi Buck. We have bi Buck you guys. Buck is bisexual and he is glowing.

[pwurrz]

ok so we didn’t get naga!yakumo because the devs are cowards but we did get yakumo’s shadow serpents wrapping themselves around eiden while they hold hands and make love so. it almost makes up for it

[cheeryknots]

james gets so excited the first time regulus kisses him that he can’t help but twirl his wand while it’s happening

[mai-komagata]

Since people seem confused on this issue

“Regarding the origins of the Vulcan gesture involving touching of two fingers with two fingers, Leonard Nimoy explained in his book I Am Spock that the gesture was not meant to be the Vulcan equivalent of a Human kiss, but rather the Vulcan equivalent of holding hands in public: "The question came up as to what public sign of affection, if any, Sarek and his Human wife would display. Handholding was clearly out, but perhaps finger-to-finger contact of a ceremonial, dignified nature might work. Mark [Lenard] and Jane [Wyatt] took my comments to heart, and came up with the wonderful gesture where Amanda rests her first two fingers lightly upon Sarek’s two fingers. It worked beautifully, and added to the texture of [the episode]." Nimoy also described Vulcan finger-touching as "the beginning of the Vulcan mating ritual", "the Vulcan two-fingers-touching 'embrace'", and "the Vulcan version of foreplay". (I Am Spock, hardback ed., pp. 71-72, 237)”

1) hand holding was clearly out — why? Because handholding would be more intimate for a Vulcan than a human. To convey the same meaning as hand holding Vulcans touch *only their fingertips*

2) read the last sentence then watch the enterprise incident. That is foreplay. Spock is being a James Bond type character and using sexual wiles to distract the female romulan commander. The scene is sexy I’m not sure how this is confusing. Vulcans and romulans have the same basic biology.

3) watch the pon Farr scene in search for Spock. Again. This is a sex scene. Vulcan hand stuff is there to be foreplay and to indicate sex without showing sex.

Obviously not every finger touch is foreplay. There is a range from handholding to more. But it is there to show Vulcan sexuality as alien and different. It is not a 1-1 parallel with human mores. And yea fanfiction embellishes this — if you are writing erotica you exaggerate things. I’m pretty sure adult human men over 40 can’t orgasm that often either but nobody writing posts on that being fanon.

As to why snw doesn’t include it? Idk probably because they have emphasized Spock exploring his humanity not his Vulcan side. Or maybe the authors forgot or think it’s confusing to new audiences. This isn’t a documentary, writers aren’t perfect and we know writers have had shitty work conditions of late. Or maybe in a world free from the hays code they wanted to be spicier. Who knows.

[havenotwillnotreadthebooks]

Happy @sindarweek o/

◄••◈••►

The trees have reclaimed the land in which hell had been brought

Summary:

“Do you think my hair is a liability?” Beleg asks out of the blue.

Mablung turns to face his fellow marchwarden. The two of them have been on shift for the last hour and Beleg has been oddly quiet.

A series of (very) short fics of Sindarin characters like Beleg, Mablung, Nimloth, Dior, ect, for sindarweek2023.

Featuring special guests like Celegorm-Why-Are-You-Here (asks every sindar) and Kidnap Dads Maglor & Maedhros (who are trying very hard to not colonize these tiny twins more than they already incidentally have), along with a wide verity of Eldritch Peredhel Moments.

[i-want-to-commit-last-bath-bomb]

Five minutes into having created an OC and I made her say “I want to take you into my lair and show you the flesh pillar”

[bloodied-dagger]

”I am done with the woman hot pickle” is a sentence I did not wake up and think I would say today, but alas.

[appropriatelystupid]

got a new water bottle so obviously it’s got a reindeer onesie lena on it immediately

[angleofmusings]

doing dramaturgy for shakespeare as an aroallo is like. no i do not understand the logic behind the romantic plotlines. yeah i have a running list of innuendos the director doesn’t seem to have noticed

[branderp94]

Me, lubing a door knob

“Omg I’m so masc today”

[shinysparklesapphires]

Thinking about how Damien’s favorite food is senpai and her least fave is most food

[muzansfangs]

You tell them you got a brazilian wax by a guy.

Starring: Choso Kamo x f!reader; Kento Nanami x f!reader; Higuruma Hiromi x f!reader;

Format: short-imagines;

Warnings: nsfw, dirty innuendos, fluff, jealousy, established relationships, nipple play, spanking, playfully biting the partner arses, oral sex (reader!receiving), vaginal sex, breeding kink, creampie, face sitting, unprotected sex;

Plot: A trend on Tik Tok made you plot a devious plan to make your beloved boyfriend going mad. He knew you had an appointment for a brazilian wax. He obviously assumed you were going to be assisted by a woman. How will he react, when you tell him it was a man? Will his jealousy go too far? Will your prank get you in a bad situation?

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Choso Kamo.

Choso’s lips glided down your neck, nipping, sucking onto the flesh with the same care a potter would handle his fragile new creation. This man was genuinely head over heels for you. Ever since his little brother had introduced you two, Choso had found a new reason to live and, supposedly, be a better person. He had learned so much about human interactions, about feelings and even about intimacy. While he was not properly addicted to sex, this man loved being inside of you more than anything. He needed to touch your soft skin, he needed your warmth around him. That evening was not that different from an ordinary one.

His hands were cupping your breasts, fondling them, thumb and index rolling your handened nipples to elicit from your throat the soft moans he loved to hear from you so much. You did not fail his expectations. You cried out, head lolling back against his shoulder in ecstasy.

“Sing for me, babe” Choso mumbled, your insides clenching around his shaft deliciously as he slowly bucked his hips up to stimulate you.

The squelching sounds filling the room were making your head spin, eyes fluttering to enjoy the sensations to its fullest. You hated pissing him off, you really did, but above anything else you loathed causing his heart to ache. Still, that trend was too tempting not to try it on your sweet boyfriend.

You hummed, sinking down further onto his cock to meet his lazy thrusts “Louder? I don’t want the neighbours to complain again, Choso” you replied breathless, tilting your head to the side to kiss his cheek. Your hand reached towards his left hand, giving it a squeeze, before guiding it down towards your pubes.

Choso groaned, fingers grazing the smooth skin in delight, while he reached down to flick your throbbing clitoris dilegently “They can burn in Hell, baby. — he promptly said, smiling against your neck — All I care about it you and this sweet pussy of yours. Gosh, I can’t wait to taste your orgasm later” he praised you, causing you to shriek for a deeper thrust of his hips.

“Yeah? Is it that sweet, babe? I got to tell Akio then. I couldn’t describe its flavour to him today” you blurted out, only for Choso’s smile to disappear.

Choso.exe stopped working.

His movements halted, his eyes darkening as he grasped your chin to turn your head in his direction. Lying to his face was going to be hard, especially since he had put up such a puppy face that your heart ached in your chest.

“Akio? Who’s Akio?” Choso asked you, his voice low and a tad serious.

“The guy who waxed me today. Did I forget to mention him to you?”.

“Akio is a guy, isn’t he?”.

You giggled, booping his nose affectionately “Sure he is, silly. What’s with that?”.

Choso huffed, the tips of his ears turning pink as he embraced your tighter “A guy… Did you let another boy look at your pussy? Babe, why? Tell me that’s not true! You would never let anyone touch your—” he wept and you could swear tears brimmed in his eyes. Oh no, that was enough. You could not keep it up anymore.

You sighed, shaking your head vigorously “No! It’s a joke, Choso, please! I’ve been an idiot! Forgive me, baby! Look at me” you interrupted him, pressing your forehead against his one.

Choso relaxed, his breath still kind of irregular as he palmed his forehead in distress. You had really scared him. He could not still bear with jealousy. Apparently, he was not the type to go mad. Choso was too kind-hearted for that. Dealing with feelings was still hard for him. His lips captured yours, gently, holding you close as he relished the feeling of being in your arms.

“Don’t do it again” he whispered and you nodded your head in agreement. Poor Choso, struggling with jealousy.

Higuruma Hiromi.

This man was born to give you oral. Underneath you, head squeezed by the fat of your thighs, your dripping core bare for him to lavish with his tongue and your clitoris for his nose to stroke, Hiromi could happily die. The sweet sounds you made, the way you rolled your hips for facilitate the way he lapped at your folds with flat of his tongue were such a delicacy. If he was asked about a good way to die, the stressed out lawyer would have decidedly declared you his designated executioner and welcomed your pussy as his deathbed.

Now, sitting on his face, hands scrambling up to hold onto the metal bars of the bedhead, you whimpered out his name in bliss. The pleasure was so intense your obnubilated mind was neglecting the plan, your thirst for him not quenching in the slightest when you felt the tip of his tongue slip in between your smooth, slippery folds.

“H-Hiromi! Gosh, don’t stop” you drawled out, back arching as his hands, sprawled over your arses, squeezed onto the rounded globes in unbridled possessiviness.

He had no intention to stop, not even as his chin and nose were coated onto a glistening mixture of your juices and his own saliva. This was not a simple way to cherish your moments with him, this was downright his favorite addiction. Hiromi did not really care if you skipped your appointment with the beautician. He frankly appreciated how much care of your body you had, but he had never asked you to get a wax. Never. Still, when you did, he could not deny how much he loved the way his tongue smoothly skimmen over your silky folds.

“Ride my nose harder, baby” he rasped, his cock twitching in his pants as you shifted upwards, following his command eagerly.

You inhaled sharply, eyes downcast to peer down at your husband’s face barely visible from underneath your thighs. The timing was perfect. Eyes screwed shut, Hiromi was gradually guiding your hips back and forth to help you rub your swollen clitoris over his prominent nose. Waves of electricity ran through your veins, as you let out a pathetic whine. Now, or never, you had to drop the bomb before it was too late.

“I don’t think there’s a single hair left, right?” you breathed out, Hirmoni’s teeth nipping gently at your labia with a huff.

“Not even a single one… — your husband rumbled out — Not that I’d mind anyway” he whispered, mouth opening to leave wet kisses on the inside of your thigh. You two were making a mess.

You shivered, biting down onto your lower lip to concentrate better before shattering that poor man’s world with a single sentence “Yeah, I know, Hiroshi did such an amazing job”.

Hiromi’s assualt on your heat ended instantly. Hooded eyes opening, a knot creasing his forehead, he glanced up at you inquisitively “You meant Hiroko, not Hiroshi. I sincerely hope so”.

“No, I meant Hiroshi. — you countered back, breath still uneven as you wiped away the sweat beading your forehead with the back of your hand — Hiroko got down with a cold, he’s in charge of the beauty center now. I probably forgot to fill you up with the news” you replied, trying to sound convincing as Hiromi just stared blankly up at you.

Maybe it was just your impression, but the atmosphere around you, once charged with sexual tension, grew gloomy, almost chilling. His finger slipping into your core all of sudden made you choke out a screech of surprise, pleasure and discomfort engulfing your lower abdomen as you gawked down at him.

“Don’t talk. Not a single word unless I demand you to speak” Hiromi flatly said, curling his finger into you unforgivingly slowly.

You gaped in shock, legs almost giving up as he shoved another finger into your sappy hole, his eyes darkening as he assessed your reaction. He could not believe you had waited up until that very moment to tell him such a thing! You, his muse, his reason to wake up in the morning, you had let another man touch his nest.

“Did this man touch my home? Did you let him graze his fingers over your pubes, down to your labia, spreading them for him to enjoy the view?” he interrogated you, his tone sharp and cold, taking the same edge it did when he was in a courtroom. This was a problem. You knew you had to stop that circus.

You cried out, lips parted, as you shook your head “H-Hiro! It was a joke! It was a joke, I swear!” you fretted, watching with glee as his expression relaxed and he slided his fingers out of you.

You did not register how he slipped out from between your thighs, pushing your face down onto the pillow as he bit down onto your arse. All you knew was that, when he finally was deep inside of you, his mouth neared your ear and he got back at you from your silly staunt “Let me fill you up with something better than a fib, hm?”.

Nanami Kento.

Large and calloused hands gripping your hipbones, cock stretching you out deliciously, you did your best not to reach your climax right away. Kento Nanami, the best partner you could have ever asked for, was taking his sweet time with you. His hips smacked against yours in a firm, steady pace, as you almost drooled over the polished wooden surface of the desk.

Sex after he came back from his small work trips was the best. Passionate, intense, the lust blinding you two all of a sudden. This time, it had washed over you, when he had seen you saunter towards him all dolled up for a dinner out. A dinner he had promised you before leaving and a dinner you were probably going to be late for.

“I missed you. Wholeheartedly. Waking up alone sucks” Kento stated, burying himself into you to the hilt.

You moaned out, nails scraping the wood as you pushed back against him, squeezing him up perfectly to enjoy the way his girth made itself space within your walls. You were absolutely in a frenzy, your make-up ruined, as you rested your cheek against the desk.

“I missed you too, oh so much” you replied, breath uneven as he leaned down to plant a kiss onto your nape, thrusting slowly into you, making love instead of fucking. This felt just perfect, so perfect that, if it was not for him speaking up, you would have forgotten completely about the devious plan you had in mind.

“You even waxed for me, huh?” he whispered, causing you to tighten up around him again and for your husband to grunt in pleasure.

“You shall t-thank Noboru for the last minute appointment he agreed on” you blurted out, Kento’s eyes widening at your words. A shot through the heart would have felt less painful.

A man had seen his wife’s pussy? Oh, that was impossible. He was probably too tired and had misheard your words. The Hell with that, he was never tired when he was with you. Kento Nanami had heard you correctly. He cleared his throat, hips still, whilst he gazed down at you.

“Noboru?”.

You swallowed forcefully, glancing at him from above your shoulder “Yeah?”.

“Are you perhaps implying you lied down on a couch, legs wide open, to let Noboru touch your pussy?” he inquired, voice calm and collected, even if his grip on your hips was getting bruising.

You nodded your head “And what if I did?”.

“Then I will accompany you the next time you want to get waxed. — Kento replied, giving you a warning thrust that made your breath hitch in your thraot — You know, I would not want our dear Noboru to just imagine the filthy sounds your pussy makes, when I fuck it. Let’s give him a show, darling. What do you say? Would he like to watch me fuck you?” he asked you, resuming his relentless pace.

His hand landing harshly onto your rear caused you to whimper out, sweat beading your forehead, as you regretted your choice to tease your beloved husband. His silent, latent jealousy was turning out to he too hot to handle. He caught a glimpse of you trying to open up your mouth to admit it was all a lie, but he shushed you with another spank.

“Hush, sweetheart. — he cooed, your whines a melody he would have never get tired of — I know you were joking. But we both were serious about trying to have a kid, right? Let’s start tonight. Fuck the dinner, I’ll cook for you later” he rasped out, increasing the pace of his thrusts.

Oh, dear, your wobbly legs and the hot seed dribbling down the inside of your thighs were the signs the only two men allowed to see you naked were your husband and your gynecologist.

AUTHOR NOTE.

Hello there! I always feel so giddy when I write for JJK. Hopefully, you’re going to enjoy this piece. I don’t think you guys will get a part two soon, but I do not close the door to that possibility.

Anyway, likes, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

until next,

X O X O

TAGS: @axesfordays @areyouflying

[gojonanami]

‧ ˚. FIRST WORDS - S. GOJO X READER

c/w: fluff, domesticity, baby gojo hijinks, based on a TikTok audio, slight innuendo, based on my baby nephew smacking me 😭

It isn’t unusual for you to hear your husband chatting with your baby. You knew Satoru preferred talking to him over most adult people, but when you’re coming from the garden, you find Satoru crouched down with your son standing on wobbly feet.

“Pa—“ Satoru intoned, a small smile on his lips.

“Pwa?” your baby stared at his father, a curious look on his face.

“Pa—“ Satoru repeats, and your baby smiles up at him, tiny reflection of a face scrunched up with his blue eyes and messy white locks.

“Pwa—“ and Satoru pulls him close, tugging him into his arms so he was standing on Satoru’s lap, a grin on his face.

“Who am I?” And you peek around the corner then, only visible to your baby who perks up when he sees you, squirming.

“Mama!” Satoru blinks, turning to see you, arms crossed and lips curled as you make your way to the two boys you loved more than anyone else in the world.

“You couldn’t have waited one more minute in the garden?” Satoru teased, as you scooped up your son, his squeal and giggles along with your wide grin melting any sarcasm he had left, as he gets to his feet, “Traitor,” he sticks his tongue at his son, who only clings to you.

“It’s not my fault our son is obsessed with me, just like his father,” you chuckled, showering your baby with soft pecks against his pillowy cheeks, “he’s all you,”

And Satoru’s hand slips around your waist, “what are you talking about? I see more of my perfect wife in him every day,” his fingers glide across your cheek, “her laugh, her smile, the cute way she wrinkles her nose when I kiss it,” he kisses both your nose and your son’s to demonstrate, laughing when he watches you both make the same face, “makes me want have another,”

“Toru, he’s not even two yet,”

“He’s almost two,” he grins, tugging you closer, whispering in your ear, “and it’s never too early to start practicing, is it?” His words warm your neck, as he presses a kiss to the soft skin behind your ear, “wanna see you round with my baby again, wanna hear you moan when I—“

WHACK!

“Ow!” You stifled a laugh, watching your husband clutch his cheek, your baby tried to managed something like a glare (it was more of a pout).

“No Papa! No,” your baby half mumbled, clinging onto you, arms around your neck.

“W-what?” And you snort, as Satoru pouts, looking far too much like his son and you start laughing, pressing a kiss to your husband’s affronted cheek.

“Well, he said papa right?” And Satoru realized that he passed along another thing to his son, watching him hug you tightly — his love for you.

Satoru’s pout softens, “I guess,” and he’s leaning into his son, pressing his forehead to his son’s, “we gotta learn to share mama ok?”

And his baby still pouts, before he takes his son, lifting him up high, “and don’t forget you’re mine too!” Your son giggles, before Satoru holds him close, as your son clings to him.

“Papa,” he mumbles, and Satoru grins, kissing him a little too hard, earning him another hit.

“Ow!”

Well, there were going to be other firsts.