#this isn’t an innuendo btw she literally eats him

[shinysparklesapphires]

Thinking about how Damien’s favorite food is senpai and her least fave is most food

[ohodie]

songs i think the marauders era characters would EAT THE FUCK UP!!

james potter

‘say yes’ by elliott smith

i feel like james doesn’t really listen to music that much, more so just pick out a few songs that sirius and remus like and just go with it. remus loves elliott smith (despite his more ‘grunge’ music taste) so he would play a lot of his songs when he’s alone or just chilling out.

james would hear this song and be like “UMMM THIS IS SO ME CORE” and he’d listen to it on repeat for WEEKS.

remus lupin

‘my iron lung’ by radiohead

this mother fucker is a radiohead stan. remus is the radiohead bf sirius is his blur gf.

he loves a little guitar riff and then absolutely nonsensical breakdowns in the middle of the chorus 👍

also i feel like he just relates to the teen angst vibe of it. he listens to it when he’s upset that he’s a queer werewolf from care home. so HIS ‘iron lung’ in that sense would be he queerness and his upbringing, or maybe even sirius at some points.

sirius black

‘beetlebum’ by blur

one thing abt sirius is that he only listens to brit-rock or 2000’s pop punk bangers with explicit sexual innuendos. they just hit!

he’s an early p!atd stan btw. soz.

and a deftones boy. cringe!

but he really likes blur!! he listens to it for hours at a time. he just LOVES the chorus soooo much. it’s a bit basic but he likes it.

lily evans

‘velvet ring’ by big thief

i feel like lily is a folk fan above all other genres of music. obviously she loves fleetwood mac, taylor swift, etc… but her loyalties lie with the cluttered, wordy and intimate lyricism of artists like big thief, clario and sidney gish.

lily listens to this specific song whenever she feel nostalgic or when she’s got growing pains. it kinda grounds her. she’s the type of person who gets so fixated on the past or what her futures gonna look like, so she channels those feelings into reflection instead. she finds a lot big thief’s songs do just that :)

marlene mckinnon

‘debris’ by lowertown

marlene loves indie girl music!! she loves messy vocals and melancholic chord progressions, so she lovesss lowertown.

this song is basically the verbalisation of how she feels other people would treat her if she finally opened up. she feels deeply attacked by the lyrics lol xx

mary mcdonald

‘this is what makes us girls’ by lana del rey

this mf loves lana del rey more than anything. she is a dark feminine born to die giant falsies dark pink french tips and ices mocha latte typa girlie.

this song just makes her feel so powerful and so connected to her friends!! she thinks it’s just so her. she also feels like her attractiveness is one of her best qualities (which isn’t true she’s literally the funniest and kindest girl at hogwarts) and one of her only strengths and she HATES FEELING THAT WAY… so when she listens to lana she’s like ‘mmm she’s so mother! she gets me!!!’

she knows she’s a pretty girl with a group of pretty girl friends and she loves it!!!!

regulus black

‘you’re on your own kid’ by taylor swift

ok regulus is not a tswizzle fan by any means.

but pandora likes her and forced him to listen to a few of her favourite songs. when this song came on he was like “… ok wtf 😧 she’s so me”

all of the lyrics just ATE in his mind. he relates to every lyric PAINFULLY SO.

pandora

‘whatever’ by elliott smith

pandora listens to literally every type of music ever.

she likes phoebe bridgers and found out about elliott smith though her, and heard this song and was like “elliott smith wrote this song about reggie and i xx”

they’re best friends! they are literally the bestest of friends. such a pure friendship.

all of them :)

‘spring’ by angel olsen

bro you’ve gotta listen to this song. it’s like evil crack.

[ggukkiedae]

fluff #5 and misc #15 with hannah and yangyang? btw i love your writing!

third yanghan! lmaooooo these two are very push and pull alsjdhfh thanks for requesting luv 🥰 and thank you for liking my writing 🥺🥺🥺 this isn’t one of my best works though bc im a little bit dizzy but i hope you enjoy this! (ft. bella and minnie!)

this whole thing is in english, sooooo yeah just a side note

prompts: “OH you’re jealous!”, “Give me attention.”

“Bella and Minnie both get a little hyperactive when they’re together,” Hannah said into her phone while watching the two dogs play with each other.

A smile grew on her face. She handed her phone over to Yangyang so he could take over the instagram live she was doing. She went down to the floor and started playing with the two puppies.

Yangyang raised his eyebrow a little and just watched while Hannah tried to get both dogs into her lap at the same time. It was a few seconds before he remembered that he was holding her live.

“I told you guys,” Yangyang said into a phone. “She’s just one of NCT’s many pets.”

He turned to look at her but frowned. She didn’t react in any way. Yangyang turned back to the live stream.

“Hannah gets along well with the puppies because they have the same iq.”

He turned to look at Hannah again but was met with the same result. She suddenly burst into laughter when the force of both Minnie and Bella jumping onto her pushed her down to the ground. Yangyang lightly nudged at her leg with his foot.

“Yah,” he began, “I’m literally insulting you on your own insta live, and you’re playing with dogs? You’re not even gonna look at me?”

“Oh,” Hannah lifted her head up slightly and smirked at him, “you’re jealous?”

Yangyang scoffed. “Of what?”

“Of Bella and Minnie,” Hannah sat up with the two dogs cuddled in her arms. “Because I’m giving all my attention to them and not to you.”

Yangyang rolled his eyes at her. Of course she’d take this opportunity to somehow tease him.

“Stop assuming,” he lightly kicked her knee. “You literally left czennies hanging to play with dogs? You were literally the one who wanted to go live so much because you miss them. Do you really want to leave czennies hanging? Now, come here and give me attention.”

There was a brief moment of silence before Hannah snorted. Yangyang seemed to not have noticed what he said in the last bit. She gently placed the dogs back on the ground and sat up on the chair beside Yangyang.

“You heard it here first, czennies,” she laughed while setting her phone back up against a jar to hold it up. “This little schnucki wants my attention.”

“What? No, I said czennies want your attention.”

“Read the comments, Liu.”

Yangyang leaned forward to see what the fans were saying while Hannah played with the hair on the back if his head.

caliprincess: yangyang whipped!

seasonieee: i can’t believe yangyang literally said give me attention

weishenvvv: yangyang and hannah aka the duo i never thought i needed till nct2020

nctships: yangyang really be out there demanding hannah’s attention like taht with no hesitation

Yangyang felt his ears grow red. He groaned.

“It was a slip of the tongue,” he told them. “I’m pretty sure I said czennies!”

“Sure,” Hannah drew out with a little laugh.

Yangyang glared at her which made her laugh harder. She raised her arms in surrender before turning back to her phone.

“We’re gonna go now, guys,” she waved. “Today is meant for me and Yangyang to bond while we watch over the dogs, and I think I want to cook ramen.”

“Ramen?” a smile made its way onto Yangyang’s face.

“Oh no,” Hannah frowned when she saw his face. “Don’t you dare make an innuendo out of this.”

“I didn’t know you wanted to eat ramen with me.”

Hannah facepalmed. “It’s like Baekhyun oppa all over again. Bye, czennies! Stay safe and healthy, okay? Love you!”

She turned the live off and turned to him. “My attention is yours now, happy?”

“Very. Now, let’s go make some ramen!”

[verdigrisprowl]

July 11 Blurr’s Horror Stream - ASOUE: The Ersatz Elevator

Neither Prowl nor the Constructicons were here.

Whirl was, though! He has returned to Cybertron. And of course, his first priority was horror movie night.

Blurr 9:11 pm ( okay. It sEEMS like I have good one. I think. ) ItsyBitsySpyers 9:12 pm ((\o/)) Blurr 9:13 pm ( just let me know if it's really bad. I have to leave one headphone off because my roommate demands attention 24/7 ) ItsyBitsySpyers 9:14 pm ((didn't you move to get AWAY from that)) Blurr 9:14 pm yeah but she's 'sad ' right now ] somethin' about her friend with benefits not wanting to be an item ??? ) I'm too cynical for this >>;;; ) Whirl 9:17 pm aight let me know when y'all are ready cos i need to paint A Word Picture for y'all)) Blurr 9:17 pm (I'm waitin' for everyone to be ready, too !) ItsyBitsySpyers 9:17 pm ((i'm ready to pop in and go whenever)) VProwl 9:18 pm ((idek if im gonna bring someone ic, go get started)) Blurr 9:20 pm /any. way. Here he is, horrific upgrades and all. Welcome to the pARTY / Whirl 9:20 pm ((ACK, WOULD IT BE easier for you to be IC if i stayed ooc?)) ItsyBitsySpyers 9:26 pm *Soundwave and Rumble drop in, though not before looking into the room with a feeler. It's been a long time. Who knows where certain medics might be roaming by now?* *Coast looks clear-ish. They'll take their seats.* Blurr 9:27 pm / wiggles claws at. He doesn't seem to have many people lingering on the ship this time- the crew is very busy doing their usual business./ VProwl 9:27 pm ((my IC or OOC ness is completely unrelated to anything Whirl does)) Blurr 9:27 pm / though who KNOWS where Ratchet is. Dude is a mystery / Whirl 9:27 pm ((okee dokee, i just wasn't sure, i didn't wanna throw a wrench in the works, sorry)) VProwl 9:27 pm ((prowl stopped coming ages ago. now i can only take constructicons and i don't feel like taking constructicons.)) ((they only come to SOUE to record it for prowl and right now prowl is in full Ask For Nothing At All Ever From The Constructicons mode)) ((so yeah unless i change my mind at the last second im probably only here to watch for myself)) Blurr 9:28 pm (( whenever y'all are ready, I'll start, btw. )) VProwl 9:29 pm ((ready)) Whirl 9:29 pm AIGHT, well, i'm sorry blurr and soundwave & co but there are less people to distract whirl you're going to get Full Force Whirl Presence)) I'm ready, just bout to drag me boy in)) Blurr 9:29 pm (( Do it. )) Whirl 9:29 pm *is just suddenly there in the doorway, blinking slowly. Whirl looks like he’s been dragged backward through a particularly dirty chimney, with most of his plating covered in soot and scorchmarks. Aside from a few superficial scratches and a cracked optic, he actually doesn’t seem to be wounded. The entire weapons array that used to be under his cockpit is just flat-out gone, replaced by a bevy of new accoutrements: a thick collar with the broken end of a restraining pole still dangling from it, two long serial numbers that have been enameled into his stabilizer fins, a handful of broken devices (which seem to be stasis locks and other neutralizing contraptions) cold welded to various parts of his anatomy, and finally, most noticeably, a partially-functioning mode-lock clamped onto his back* Whirl deep breath 9:29 pm Whirl 9:30 pm Any chance I could get one of you to do me a favor? ((A Word Picture is now complete)) Blurr 9:30 pm / snort / I DO owe you one, don't I? What happened to you, hnnh? Get stuck in a jail or something? Whirl 9:31 pm Got it in one. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:31 pm *Rumble's up on his feet in an instant.* //What the FRAG-- What favor?// Whirl bobs his head in tired greeting 9:31 pm Whirl 9:31 pm Could someone please get this fragging MODE-LOCK off of me because it's DRIVING ME CRAZY. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:32 pm *Soundwave lifts up both feelers. Come over, if Blurr doesn't go over there first.* Whirl 9:34 pm *will trot on over and hunker down a bit so Soundwave can reach it easier. ...not that he probably needs to because Endless Spaghetti Arms but still* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:36 pm [[Don't move. He'd rather not lose his tendrils.]] *They're going to poke around and beneath the mode lock to try to figure out how it comes off. Might be a little wiggly in there.* Whirl is now making the exact face that his avatar is making 9:36 pm ItsyBitsySpyers 9:37 pm *In about a minute he'll have it deactivated and pulled off.* [[Hmm. Do you want this?]] Whirl 9:39 pm No. God, no, by all means, just. Obliterate it. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:39 pm [[As you wish.]] *Soundwave hands it to Rumble, who is more than happy to punch it to pieces with a couple hits from a piledriver.* *...The ground might shake a little in the process. Sorry bout that, Blurr.* Whirl 9:40 pm *the VERY FIRST thing he tries to do is transform, but there's too many things stuck to him at the moment and he just kind of. Falls over. Lays there for a moment* *caught somewhere between modes* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:41 pm *...Soundwave snaps a pic, silently.*??//Uh. You - you alive?// Whirl 9:43 pm I can't be sure, but I THINK so. *shifts back, and with great dignity, makes his slow way over to the hammock and clambers inside. After a moment he just pokes his head over the side of the hammock* So. How you guys been? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:44 pm *Rumble kicks the junked mode lock bits side and sits wher ehe is.* //Pretty good, I guess. Been lookin' into the writin' classes we got on planet. Boss moved to Intelligence insteada the Security Forces. 'N he--// ItsyBitsySpyers 9:46 pm *Soundwave pings him a warning. Rumble resets his vocalizer.* //'N he been doin' good on business. Plus, we found them barnacles. Stickin' themselves to space slugs. Weird scrap.// //But that ain't important. HOW THE FRAG'D THEY CATCH -YOU?-// Blurr 9:48 pm / anyway pretend he zoned out because like I was gone / Whirl 9:49 pm *nods very slowly* Y'know what? Good. Damn good. I--*okay he deserves this yelling* I think someone was tailing me last time I got stuck. Went out to get some stuff for my ship and wham. ...okay it's actually a lot more complicated that "wham" but I got back about... maybe. Six hours ago. I'm a little out of it. Whirl in a sort of permanently half-zoned state, Blurr's in good company 9:50 pm ItsyBitsySpyers 9:50 pm *They both shake their head. They never thought they'd see the day.* Whirl 9:50 pm Hey, Teach? If you got any liquid snacks I'm starving. And I'm gonna eat them all. Blurr 9:51 pm Oh, there's plenty. /motions to table/ We just harvested an entire freighter Whirl 9:52 pm I should've called YOU to come get me. *peers resentfully at the snack table. How dare it be so far away. He'll get it in a second* So. I might... *trails off* Blurr 9:52 pm I can get it. I just invested in a new set of legs. Whirl 9:53 pm ((oh my god the sheer amount of innuendo in this is staggering)) Blurr 9:53 pm /smirks/ Oh, me? I would have ADORED to slaughter an entire jail. Whirl 9:53 pm Again? Damn, Teach, you don't waste time. So. *looks to Soundwave and Rumble* I might... be. In a little trouble. My official story is: I fell down a flight of stairs. Blurr 9:54 pm Waste time doing what? Investing in new legs? Whirl 9:55 pm Yep. Blurr 9:56 pm Well, these ones are more suited for me. The speed upgrades work better with these ones. Less burn in the legs, less broken gears. Whirl 9:56 pm BRB!)) ItsyBitsySpyers 9:57 pm //Musta been some damn important stairs.// ItsyBitsySpyers 9:57 pm [[What is it you require?]] Blurr 9:57 pm Stairs are unnecessary... Blurr 9:59 pm (( Olaf would be one amazing cosplayer )) Whirl 10:01 pm Just don't rat me out to the... I dunno. The space police, or whatever. God, the world changed since I was gone. Blurr? Being... RESPONSIBLE? I mgiht not be in the right dimension, after all. Blurr 10:01 pm / snort / Whirl 10:02 pm *he isn't ENTIRELY flippant about this, as much as he likes to pretend he is, and he's also not so oblivious that he doesn't know what he should do next* Hey, Rumble? Could I get you over here a second? Comm's out. ((time to do everything in my power to get salmonella)) Windchill 10:02 pm (( WHY you do this. Are you eating raw eggs. )) Blurr 10:03 pm My profession is literally stealing and piracy. Windchill 10:04 pm (( Oh. )) Blurr 10:04 pm Police are the last mechs on my speed dial list. K-Kyeheeheh. Well, except that one I bribed... / taps chinplate / Think I might have eaten that one, though. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:04 pm [[No mech will hear that you have returned unless you explicitly give him permission to tell them. At least, not from his work unit.]] Blurr 10:05 pm (( the fan. I can't )) VProwl 10:05 pm ((the water aside, i would kill for some salmon rn)) Blurr 10:05 pm (( mood )) Whirl 10:05 pm i bequeath my cosmic allowance of salmon to y'all)) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:06 pm //Yeah! Sure.// *Rumble wasn't sure if he ought to ask about the hammock, but now that he's been invited over, he'll trot that way - and up, if permitted.* Whirl 10:06 pm *just nods to Blurr and Soundwave, closing his optic. Please enjoy his genuine gratitude* Thanks. VProwl 10:08 pm ((eyyyy bob)) Whirl 10:08 pm *will absolutely help Rumble up and shift so he can get comfortable. He speaks very softly, garnering as much privacy as he can without comms* Sorry for not calling. I wasn't able to get a message out. Blurr 10:08 pm (( I would wear this costume for years ) Whirl 10:08 pm this would be a fantastic cosplay)) Blurr 10:08 pm ( the eyes bobble. I'm screaming ) VProwl 10:09 pm ((every time he says sallmun)) Blurr 10:10 pm ((( I can't. )) Whirl 10:10 pm kdl;de)) u right)) Windchill 10:11 pm *Appears to ruin the evening, sorry y'all.* Blurr 10:12 pm / wiggles claws in a wave. / Windchill 10:12 pm ((Plunger...harpoons? )) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:13 pm *Good thing it's Rumble and not Frenzy, or else there'd be no privacy whatsoever. Rumble whispers just fine, and Soundwave pretends not to still be able to hear it.* //Hey, nah. Nah. 'S okay. Jus' - glad ya ain't there no more, y'know? 'N anybody's sorry, it's me, on account of we wasn't no help to ya.// ((this food is so vile)) Blurr 10:13 pm ( blegh ) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:14 pm *Soundwave bobs his helm at Windchill.* Windchill 10:14 pm *Waves dramatically.* Blurr 10:16 pm Honestly, he's terrible at assassinating people. Honestly. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:16 pm ((those teeth are creeping me out)) Blurr 10:17 pm (( they're like way too white )) Whirl 10:17 pm So'm I. *shakes his head a little* Nothing you could've done. Nothing anybody could've done, except me. And I did it. *shifts a little--he might be curling up around Rumble just a little. Just a little* I gotta say, though, Teach--advice for life. Whirl raises his head when he senses Windchill, and gives a very nonchalant nod. "Sup?" 10:17 pm Blurr 10:17 pm Advice for life? You're giving /me/ advice? I suppose I'll listen to yours. VProwl 10:18 pm ((im remembering that post about how tfp starscream's human form would definitely be count olaf)) ((i can absolutely see him performing this song)) ((exactly this way)) Whirl 10:18 pm No, I was saying, the song is advice for life. I might be a little rattled but I'm well aware what it would look like if I gave you advice. Right now. SHINT)) Blurr 10:19 pm Aw, come on. Advice from you is probably the most logical advice I ever hear. Aside from... well. Drift's. His advice is pretty great. Windchill 10:19 pm *Squints at the crispy weirdo that looks like it might have once been...a Whirl.* Whirl 10:20 pm You can never tell him I said this--ANY of you--but... you're not completely wrong, Teach. Blurr 10:20 pm / smirks and wiggles claws in the air slightly / Of course not. I'm an educator, not usually wrong. /is wrong a lot tbh/ ItsyBitsySpyers 10:23 pm *Rumble notices and oh-so-slowly-and-carefully readjusts a leg so it's bumped up against Whirl a little more.* //Listen - Frenzy's still learnin' medic stuff. If y'need help gettin' all that slag off, we maybe could try.// ItsyBitsySpyers 10:25 pm //Welp, they're gonna die.// Whirl 10:25 pm Yeah, I might take you up on that. Most of it's not dug in, it's slapped on. Like... glued. But with metal. Except for the thing-- *wiggles one of his fins irritably* Looks worse'n it is. Blurr 10:25 pm You know, Whirl... I'm just saying. I've got a medic that really likes your anatomical makeup. He'd be willing to put you back together and then some. / Piston misses you / Whirl 10:26 pm Oh, PLEASE send Piston after me. I've got half a year's worth of pent-up frustration and I'd LOVE to get it out of my system. Blurr 10:27 pm Oye... no hurting my mortician. Despite his usually... eh. /shrugs/ weird? personality, he's actually quite useful. Windchill 10:28 pm *Sits his giant BUTT on the floor, finally.* Whirl 10:28 pm I'm sure to SOME folks. *peers peevishly at Blurr* Piston just better keep his distance. But in all seriousness, I'm not really hurt. Blurr 10:29 pm Yes, but Piston COULD help fix... everything else. Whirl 10:29 pm Oh shit, was that an earthquake? Oh, wait. No. It was just YOU. *zoops his head out of the hammock to stare accustingly at Windchill* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:29 pm //Maybe I oughta stick a pair of Windchill afts where my piledrivers go.// Blurr 10:29 pm K-Kyeheheh. Windchill 10:29 pm *Would retract his head sheepishly, but his collar doesn't allow it. He just bobs his head stupidly instead.* Don't be mean to me. Blurr 10:30 pm You know, it was an offer of absolute honesty. I wouldn't let Piston do anything... odd. He's a bit in a good mood- you're way off his radar. Whirl 10:30 pm You'd be too POWERFUL, Rumble. Windchill 10:30 pm ...This is true. Whirl 10:31 pm Being mean is just how I show affection. Blurr 10:31 pm It's the best way, honestly. Whirl 10:31 pm And... thanks, Teach. I think I'll let Frenzy handle that bit. But, if you're in the mood to hand out favors... mind if I crash here tonight? Windchill 10:31 pm *Shrugs.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:32 pm //Yer right. Can't get too strong. Don't want Devastator gettin' jealous of my strength.// Windchill 10:32 pm ...Why not? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:32 pm *Soundwave just huffs. Good thing the Constructicons weren't here to hear that.* Whirl 10:32 pm Well now we know what we need to do if we ever got to defeat Devastator. Blurr 10:32 pm /hums and drums claws together/ Well, I suppose we could spare a room. /snort/ Joking. K-Kyeheheheh. Of course you can! You can stay in one of the more suited rooms- furthest from Piston. Windchill 10:33 pm *We need to duplicate his butt and weld them to Rumble's hands?* Whirl 10:33 pm In all seriousness, though... *bobs his head at Windchill again; please enjoy a moment of sincerity* Good to see you. Windchill 10:33 pm Oh yeah? You look like poo. Whirl nods 10:34 pm Whirl 10:34 pm I fell down a flight of stairs. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:34 pm ((I FINALLY JUST FIGURED OUT WHO ESME'S ACTRESS IS)) ((that's been bothering me all night)) Whirl 10:35 pm she's been in a lot of stuff! Ella Enchanted, The 10th Kingdom)) Windchill 10:35 pm *Kind of just...looks Whirl up and down with his good eye. The other one is watching the show.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:35 pm ((yeah, Sally Peep, heh)) Windchill 10:35 pm Must have been hella stairs. I believe it. Whirl 10:35 pm ((she's such a patoot)) Whirl nods gravely. "It was." 10:35 pm Whirl 10:36 pm Actually I got caught. And had to bust my way out. Which, as you can see... did. But the stairs is my official story. If you don't mind, Teach, I was just going to. Not leave this hammock until tomorrow. VProwl 10:37 pm ((that baby is such a great actor)) Windchill 10:37 pm Ah. Blurr 10:37 pm I suppose. You could do that, too. Windchill 10:37 pm Well. Whirl 10:37 pm she really is, tbh)) Whirl is now going to reach over to those drinks Blurr brought near and start drinking. Just tossing his head back again and again. Like some kind of bobbing bird. LIKE A MACHINE. These snacks don't stand a chance. 10:39 pm Windchill 10:40 pm *Gasps with sudden realization.* Whirl...LIED to me about hella stairs. To my very face. Whirl 10:41 pm *doesn't stop drinking, even while he answers* NO. Surely not. Doesn't sound like WHIRL. Windchill 10:41 pm Yes it does. *Points accusingly.* Whirl pauses just long enough to look innocent. And then goes back to drinking 10:42 pm Windchill 10:43 pm *Slowly lowers his claw.* I'll forgive it...this time. Blurr 10:44 pm how merciful. Windchill 10:46 pm But ONLY, *he lifts his claw imperiously* because I missed the perpetrator of these foul untruths. Whirl finally finishes his marathon run on these snacks 10:46 pm Whirl 10:46 pm Yeah. You just missed him, too. Windchill 10:46 pm Shut up, butthole. Whirl 10:47 pm What's it saying? Windchill 10:48 pm Pure LIES. And hot air. Whirl 10:49 pm Hmm. I believe it. Windchill 10:49 pm Good, you can trust me. *Maybe.* Windchill 10:51 pm *But probably not.* Whirl 10:51 pm *DOUBTFUL* Windchill 10:51 pm *Smiles and flutters his lashes innocently.* Whirl *he un-zoops and retreats back to the sanctity of the hammock* How's the little wriggler doing? 10:51 pm Whirl 10:51 pm ...welp)) Windchill 10:52 pm Little? Whirl 10:53 pm Okay, fair, how's your gargantuan offspring doing? Windchill 10:54 pm That's more like it. She's fat. Whirl 10:54 pm Once I take care of my... whole. Everything, I'll try and swing by. Windchill 10:55 pm Eh, she'd probably recognize you, even looking like that. Whirl 10:55 pm Sadly, I didn't pick up any new and exciting foul language in prison. As unlikely as that sounds. Windchill 10:55 pm I'm shocked. Whirl 10:57 pm Yeah. Apparently I'm *huge claw air-quotes* "Too unruly" and "a danger to myself and others" so I spent a good amount of time out of it. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:58 pm //Puh. Jus' means they were big cowards.// *Mutter mutter.* Whirl 10:58 pm *snorts* More or less. ...but if you get locked up, I mean. Worse ways to spend it than unconscious. Windchill 10:59 pm I...guess? I mean, I can vouch for that. *Shrugs helplessly.* Whirl 10:59 pm *one-armed shrug in return* And speaking of unconscious I'm... probably not gonna make it through whatever you guys decide to watch next, so. If I fall asleep don't wake me up. Blurr 11:00 pm Piston might. IF you're lucky. Windchill 11:00 pm Good night, sweet prince. I'll knock you out right now if you want. Whirl 11:01 pm Yeah, well, it'll be unlucky for HIM. *hunkers down in the hammock* Thank you, sweet princess, but I think I'm good. And, yeah. I said it, and yeah, I'm gonna say it again, and if any of you guys give me slag about it I'll make you regret it but--good to see you all again. All of you. *Rumble gets an additional nudge* Windchill 11:02 pm You say that now. Blurr 11:03 pm / smirks and wiggles claws at Whirl / Good to see you, too. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:05 pm //No slag, promise. Not about that, anyhow. Gotta pick somethin' better.// *Snickers and nudges back.* Whirl 11:05 pm *snorts at Windchill--it's a genuine laugh. You earned it, big guy* I come back, Rumble, and already you're threatening me. *shakes head mock-dramatically* It's good to be... well. Not home. But whatever this is. Windchill 11:06 pm *More LIES.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:06 pm *Looks around.* //A ship, I think. Either that or a big ol' rusty bucket.// Whirl 11:07 pm Well I was referring to this dimension's Cybertron and surrounding affiliated areas but that works. Blurr 11:07 pm Excuse me? Windchill 11:07 pm *Rolls onto his knees. Turns out his giant butt offers little to no cushioning on floors.* Blurr 11:07 pm It's a /great/ ship. And right now, we're not very far from a quadrant that is radiating a power source that I simply /must/ have. Windchill 11:10 pm *Okay, hands and knees. Getting up is hard.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:10 pm //You 'n them treasures, pffff. Somebody's gonna trap ya with a fake one day.// *Whispering again:* //Psss. Whirl. Y'want the hammock all to your own self, or's it okay I maybe don't go?// ItsyBitsySpyers 11:10 pm [[Do you need help, Windchill?]] Whirl 11:11 pm Someone, please help Old Man Windchill over here. Windchill 11:11 pm Do NOT. Whirl 11:11 pm DO. Windchill 11:11 pm If I want help I'll ask. I'm a big boy. Whirl 11:11 pm Well OBVIOUSLY. Windchill 11:11 pm But it's funnier this way. Blurr 11:11 pm K-Kyeheheheh. Someone already TRIED to. They missed me, obviously. /wiggles claws/ Besides, this is the real deal. Something genuinely powerful and strong. Whirl 11:11 pm *and lowers his head to whisper back* I'd... like it, if you stayed. Blurr 11:11 pm It radiates across the wavelengths with extremely strong waves... plus, I think it might be something unique. Windchill 11:13 pm *Grunts and deliberately makes a spectacle of getting up, employing as many ungodly creaks as possible since he's been CALLED OUT.* *You must all suffer for it.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:14 pm *Soundwave just turns his audio receptors down. It's easier.* Whirl 11:14 pm Gnight, loser. I'll call you up when my comms are working again. Windchill 11:14 pm Who...me? Whirl 11:14 pm Yes, you. Blurr 11:14 pm /cackling at Windchill because wow how obnoxious, he loves it / Windchill 11:14 pm Fuck you, Whirl. But okay. Blurr 11:14 pm You know, Whirl, Blaster could get your comms working. You just have to deal with his ... idiocy. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:15 pm *He'll trust Rumble with Whirl on this ship for one night. May any wayward "doctors" be crab-pinched to pieces if they come creeping up with laser scalpels in hand.* Whirl 11:15 pm Not likely, you oversized antique. Windchill 11:15 pm *Gasps and clutches imaginary pearls.* Blurr 11:15 pm / Blurr will ensure none of them die overnight / Blurr 11:16 pm You know, you could all stay over , if you'd like. We won't reach the site until late tomorrow. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:16 pm *Rumble just nods and settles back in. He's not tired, himself, but it's kinda - nice. Been forever.* Whirl 11:16 pm Mmmmaybe. I'll come bug you about it in the morning. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:16 pm [[Ah, no. He has work. It piles up quickly as of late.]] *Up Soundwave gets, with less creaking and clanking than Windchill. He'll be on his way in seconds.* Blurr 11:17 pm Ah. I see. Well, whenever you want to visit. Windchill 11:17 pm *Appears to be thinking really hard if the sudden appearance of stress lines around his optics are any indication.* Blurr 11:17 pm ... You good? / he can't have a lift one eyebrow expression, but he can try. It just looks like murderous staring / Whirl 11:18 pm god bless blurr for trying omfg)) ItsyBitsySpyers 11:18 pm ((LOL BLURR)) Blurr 11:18 pm (( hE HAS ONE EYE OKAY )) ( GSDNBFKDAFN )) (( He just. He can't lift an optic ridge- he's missing that piece on the other side. So it just looks. So bad bfkjdsfbadsj ) Whirl bobs his head in farewell to Soundwave, Windchill, and Blurr. and hunkers back down. Whirl is sleep. 11:19 pm Whirl 11:19 pm that's why we lovim)) Windchill 11:19 pm I'm leaving. Blurr 11:19 pm (( I feel like Whirl gets his expressions )) Whirl raises a claw but doesn't open his optic. Clicks it like a castanet. 11:19 pm Blurr 11:19 pm ... Pity. Well, next time you'd like to visit, I'll clear the bridge for you. And if you're good at tearing mechs apart, maybe you'll get lucky and find us on a good day. Whirl 11:20 pm if anyone would, I feel like it'd be Whirl)) Blurr 11:20 pm (( Whirl and Drift for sure )) Windchill 11:20 pm *Shrugs.* I have worms. Whirl 11:20 pm he knows a thing or two about making do with limited facial expression capabilities)) Blurr 11:20 pm (( I feel like Drift kinda "I THINK he's confused but he might just be angry. Or both.' )) ItsyBitsySpyers 11:20 pm ((OF ALL THE RECORDINGS SOUNDWAVE COULD MISS IT WAS "I HAVE WORMS")) Blurr 11:21 pm ... That's... nice? Whirl 11:21 pm ((HAHAHAH)) Blurr 11:21 pm (( LMAOOO ) / squinting. Drums claws together / Well, have... fun with that? Windchill 11:21 pm (( I'm sorry it was spontaneous. )) I have ONE WORM, *this clarification requires yelling and the puffing out of chest armour.* *And it doesn't make it any better.* Blurr 11:22 pm Why are you yelling? I have one optic, not one audial. Windchill 11:22 pm Because I can and no-one can really stop me. Blurr 11:22 pm ... Bet? Whirl 11:23 pm *still doesn't open his optic, but calls out, muffled* I taught his worm to cuss. Windchill 11:23 pm I only gamble with my life. Blurr 11:23 pm W-what else are you supposed to gamble with? Windchill 11:23 pm ...Most folks settle for money or material goods. Pride, maybe. Blurr 11:23 pm ... Ew. Where's the fun in that? Windchill 11:23 pm *He has none of those so life it is.* Blurr 11:23 pm / glances at Whirl/ You what the who now? Blurr 11:24 pm We /motions to self and adjacent space around him/ are confused. Whirl 11:24 pm I taught his worm to cuss. She beeps. Zori was my accomplice. Blurr 11:24 pm Ah... much better. Windchill 11:24 pm Yeah. Only words she knows are cuss words. And "wub." Blurr 11:24 pm ..Huh. Whirl 11:24 pm *now DOES lift his head, briefly* I'm wub. Blurr 11:24 pm I don't think I've taught Oberyn anything new lately... except not to bite 'Buster. Whirl conks it back down and curls up a little more 11:24 pm Blurr 11:25 pm Well, I wouldn't want to keep you from your... worm. Windchill 11:25 pm Anyway. I'm gonna pretend to not know what tearing mechs apart on good days means, because it's convenient in the short term. My worm, yes. I must return to my worm. Blurr 11:26 pm Well... go on. / waves claws / I have relics to steal. Windchill 11:26 pm *Well, she'd be fine with Chill's better half for an evening, but MORE importantly:* Yeah. Whirl's not gonna get any rest with me here. I must go. *Have another dramatic wave.* Whirl 11:27 pm Joke's on you, I'm already asleep. *muffled* Windchill 11:28 pm You say that now, I'm leaving before I get REALLY obnoxious. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:28 pm //Somehow I ain't even tryin' to sleep 'n I been the quietest one outta all you.// *Muffled laugh into his arm.* Windchill 11:28 pm *It's for your own good, Whirl. Easier to avoid embarrassing you with physical contact if Chill's not there.* Whirl 11:29 pm Well, it's not hard to be the quietest one when I'm in the room. ...but I'm still asleep. Windchill 11:29 pm *He is thinking of u, it's just hard to tell.* I'm sick and tired of your lies. *Turns to leave for real, but blows a kiss over his shoulder.* Bye, suckers. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:30 pm //Seeya.// Whirl 11:30 pm Later, loser. Blurr 11:30 pm / wiggles claws/ See you Blurr 11:31 pm (( lemme know when I can close chat. )) Windchill 11:31 pm *Just for that you get a loud raspberry sound before he vanishes. His final revenge.* Whirl 11:32 pm I'm done! o7)) Windchill 11:32 pm (( same lol )) Blurr 11:33 pm ( kay i close room now ) Windchill 11:33 pm (( o7 )) Blurr 11:33 pm ( unless somoene is logging ) VProwl 11:33 pm ((i can stop logging when y'all stop making last-minute comments))

[heavenbarnes]

Words Speak Louder Than Actions

Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings/Contains: sexting, dirty talk, mention of the word “nut”, mentions of ass eating, no actual penetration, metal arm kink, flirting with a woman, masturbation

Word Count: 2234

bang this might be bad idk (p.s the gif has nothing to do w it lmao it probably would’ve gone better w shoot from the hip)

She walked down the crowded street, the rest of the Avengers flanking her sides. It looked like a Christmas parade, everybody in the city had gathered to hoot and holler for the group of heroes that managed to save their city. (Y/N) looked around with wide eyes, taking in the group of reporters that were making their way towards them.

Film cameras were crowding the space, people yelling out which news stations they were from, apparent fans trying to get a glimpse at their heroes.

“Captain America!”

“Mr. Stark!”

“Thor!”

“Miss. (Y/L/N)!”

She followed the source of the sound to the young woman calling her name. The reporter had an uncontrollable smile due to the fact (Y/N) listened and was walking straight towards her.

“Hi, how are you?” She asked casually, getting used to this kind of reaction from people.

“I’m great, but how are you?”

“A little bruised but all in all, I’m feeling fine.”

“That’s great, you’ve done an incredible job!” She smiled graciously as the nervous reporter spoke to her. “What makes you get out of bed in the morning and come do stuff like this?”

“In all honesty, we just came to save rock and roll.”

The woman gave her a confused look, eyes flickering around to the rest of the group. Tony gave (Y/N) a sly low-5, waiting for Steve’s reaction.

“No we didn’t! Shut up, (Y/N).” The Captain shouted over the top of her.

“Sorry, I’m kidding.” She apologized. “But really, we just do this to ensure the safety of pretty girls like yourself.”

(Y/N) was a shameless flirter, sometimes irking Tony as she seemed to have a better rep with the ladies than he did these days.

The reporter’s cheeks flushed a bright red and she giggled nervously.

“Thank you, Miss (Y/L/N).” She tucked her hair back behind her ear before clearing her throat. “I’ll have to find some way to thank you properly though.”

“I hope your imagination is as wild as-”

“And cut!” Her cameraman called, face full of shock.

“Nice talking to you!” (Y/N) hurried away towards the quinjet with the rest of the group, dodging a glare from Steve.

“Would it kill you to not flirt with everything that had a pulse?” He asked, exasperation clear in his voice.

“It totally would when the world is just brimming with pretty people.”

“You’re hopeless and lucky I like you as much as I do.”

“Oh so who’s flirting now, Captain?”

He shook his head but couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped past his lips. As much as the team pretended her chronic flirting was an inconvenience, they all seemed to stand with mouths agape when they saw her work her charm perfectly.

“And here is your $42.” Tony sighed, slipping the money in her hand and sitting beside her on the jet.

She smiled contently and slipped it in her duffel bag beneath her seat. Sam shot them both a confused look.

“Tony and I had a bet running for over a month as to who could be the first to seamlessly slip ‘came to save rock and roll’ into an interview, and yours truly was victorious as always.”

“You two destroy brain cells every second you’re together.” Natasha let out a grumble.

Back at the tower (Y/N) unzipping her suit, enjoy the comfort of her bed beneath her. Her phone buzzed beside her and she saw it was her best friend, Bucky.

He’d usually greet her as soon as she got back from a mission but he’d been away with Bruce, meeting some specialist to further investigate the serum inside him? Or something? He had explained it but in all honesty she wasn’t really listening.

More staring at his lips as words fell out of them.

Bucci: Expert flirting with TV lady

She chuckled to herself and flopped back on the bed, top half of her suit off and hanging around her waist.

Me: Thanks I try super hard

Bucci: And she was trying super hard not to nut live on TV

Me: And that is not my fault, it’s just my natural charm

Bucci: And how come you never use your natural charm on me?

Me: Are you saying you’re jealous, Pretty Boy????

(Y/N) already knew the answer was a big fat yes. She and Bucky spent there whole lives dancing around the fact they had very strong feelings for each other. Just being in the same room as them you could cut the feeling with a knife.

Bucci: Well not to expose myself but I don’t exactly blame her for getting all flustered

Me: Yeah? You would’ve blushed just the same?

Bucci: Oh sweetness, I don’t blush. But yeah, would love it if you talked to me like that

So he was being uncharacteristically open with her? Usually there was hinted innuendos and it got close to a confession but he never openly said “hey, would be super neato if you could like, show you liked me.” Guess there is a first time for everything.

(Y/N) put it down to the fact that communicating through cellphones was monumentally easier than having to confess feelings to someone’s face. This just seemed like there would be less embarrassment involved.

Me: You know, you’re a pretty convincing guy. You could most definitely get me to say (or do) anything you wanted...

Bucci: Would also have loved it if you would’ve said that to me as well. Things could’ve got underway a lot sooner

Me: Mhmm, what things though??

Bucci: I don’t know, maybe me shutting that pretty mouth after you’ve spent 30 minutes teasing me relentlessly knowing I wouldn’t do anything about it

Me: That really isn’t my fault, you should’ve picked up what I was putting down

Bucci: There you go with that attitude, you know you’re lucky I’m not there right now

Me: Am I lucky? Really? Cause if you were here you’d be making me hold my tongue and that sounds pretty sweet to me

Bucci: Doll, I’d be making do a whole lot more than just hold your tongue. Do you even know me at all?

Me: Yeah, brain is a tad patchy so if you could just fill your girl in on what you’re implying

So her suit was still bunched up around her waist and her right hand was trailing across her stomach. Her fingernails were lightly digging into the skin every time her brain showed her a flash of what Bucky probably looked like right now.

She could imagine a scene in the back of her mind. He was probably on the bed at the hotel, only in sweatpants (the running joke was that he only ever wore pants and she only ever wore shirts, together they made a whole outfit) and his hand was inching ever so close to the waistband.

Bucci: Yeah I guess I could tell my girl that if I was there right now her hips would be pinned to the mattress with the metal arm and my mouth would be really preoccupied

Me: You’d like my thighs wrapped around the back of your head?

Bucci: Oh you bet your ass I do

Me: You eat ass too?

Bucci: If you ask nicely

Me: So if asking nicely gets me that, what does sucking you off get me?

Bucci: Anything you want, doll

So she was most definitely playing with fire, but this was going to burn like heaven. This had been a long time waiting and for some reason (unknown to her) she wasn’t nervous about him getting back. It didn’t feel like it’d be awkward. It just felt like it would be non-stop fantastic fucking?

Me: So something tells me you’ve already thought about me with my mouth around you?

Bucci: Oh every time I can’t sleep, I just lay there stroking myself to the thought of you all to myself

Me: So when you text me this morning and said you had trouble sleeping last night?

Bucci: I may have been keeping the fact that the meeting of your thighs was the last thing I thought about before I fell asleep

Me: This pussy is a thing of dreams, I get it. Oh, and it’s also entirely yours to beat up when you get back

Bucci: I’m glad you put it that way cause I don’t know if you know just how bad I’ve been waiting for this

Me: When I say I’ll let you rough me up, I mean it. I can’t wait to feel that cold metal around my throat, or at my ass

Lying on the bed with her hand in her panties, vigorously rubbing against her clit with an image of Bucky also touching himself. She couldn’t even contain those little whimpers that escaped her and bounced off the walls of her room. Hopefully everybody was down the other end of the tower and wasn’t getting an earful.

Bucci: So you’ve got your own little fantasies about me and my arm?

Me: Mhmm, you’re not the only one who sometimes has trouble sleeping

Bucci: Enlighten me on some of the things you think about?

Me: I want nothing more than those fingers inside me, mine aren’t doing the trick right now. I know you’d be able to have me under your control

Bucci: I’d love to have you wrapped around my fingers, treating you like the princess you are. You know, to match that awful attitude of yours?

Me: Is this really the time to bring that up? We were going so well?

Bucci: Hate to admit it but that attitude of yours turns me on. Love the thought of shutting you up by bending you over

Me: I also can’t have a bad attitude if my mouth is full btw

Bucci: I like the way you think, Doll

On the other side of the phone Bucky was laying with his head back in the pillows, furiously stroking his hand the length of his cock. His lips were only slightly parted and his eyes continuously fluttered open and closed. He tried his hardest to stay quiet as he knew Bruce was only a thin wall away.

His thoughts of (Y/N) in her bedroom, grinding down onto her hand with her mind flooded with thoughts of him. He almost couldn’t bear the fact that he had to wait a whole other day until he got back to her. Maybe he’d just act moody and get this whole trip packed up early. The fact he’d be buried in that pussy was worth it.  

Me: Not to be crass but I am totally going to come, just want you to know that it’s all because of you

Bucci: No it’s okay, I’m literally moments away from finishing. Want you to come for me first though, pretty baby

Me: I wish I was there, so you could come on my face. Would you like that, to finish on my face?

Bucci: That sounds fucking incredible, but please don’t make me come before you do. Good Jesus

Her fingers were going at maximum speed and she could see flashes of white blurring her vision. The whimpers were slowly getting louder as she bucked her hips up to meet her own hand. Quiet little whimpers of “Bucky, Bucky, Bucky” were filling the room and she felt that tensing in her stomach. Her eyes screwed shut as she let out one long moan of his name, wetness flooding her panties an soaking her fingers.

Me: Just letting you know that you’ll have to get me new underwear when you’re back considering you just technically ruined these ones.

Bucci: Whatever you want princess, such a good girl coming for me

Me: You’re gonna come now? Thinking about me and what I’ll let you do to me when you get back?

It was Bucky’s turn to feel his thighs clenching and his heart rate picking up. Just repeated chants of “(Y/N), (Y/N), (Y/N)” completely disregarding the fact Bruce was next door. He was pretty sure he heard the same thing last night anyway. Bucky’s hand ran up and over the head and stroked at the sensitive skin as he stuttered out a groan and felt the warm streams dripping down his fingers.

Bucci: You’re a really good girl, you know that?

Me: You’re only saying that cause I made you come

Bucci: That and I mean it, you’ve just got to prove yourself I guess

Me: Don’t worry, I’ll do more than just prove myself when you get back

Bucci: I swear to God, I cannot fucking wait

Me: Good, then hurry up and get your ass home

Bucci: Watch the attitude, have a good sleep <3

Me: Not a chance, you too <3

The rest of the suit was peeled down her body and she crawled under her comforter. As the thoughts of Bucky flooded her mind and her fresh underwear.

(Y/N) woke up to her door being opened and closed again. The other side of her mattress sunk down and she felt a hand sneaking under her tank top. She rolled over and opened her eyes against the sun to see the shaggy brown hair on the pillow next to her.

“Bruce got tired of the thin walls and I got tired of the wait.”

She rolled over, flipping him onto his back and straddling his waist.

“It’s been a long time coming.”

[evenstevensranked]

#43: Season 2, Episode 10 - “Devil Mountain”

Ren’s Life Science class goes on a field trip to observe some birds. Yay? Drama ensues on the trip when we find out that Mandy “Always-Gets-Her-Man” Sanchez has a crush on Bobby Deaver. Yikes!!! Elsewhere, Tom gets a personal pizza oven in his room, which is the only reason Louis and Twitty are bothering to hang out at his house. Basically, Louis is a horrible friend to Tom until the last 5 minutes. WHYYY?!

This episode opens with Ren and Bobby doing homework at The Stevens house. They’re always so incredibly awkward. Like I’ve said before… Bobby Deaver is kind of weird. I don’t get the appeal. He seems very aloof and spineless to me. They’re about to kiss when Steve comes waltzing in on the phone.. which is highly uncomfortable. He becomes a nervous wreck and ends the phone call by saying “Okay I’ll kiss you tomo— SEE YOU tomorrow!” Oh, man.

We find out that he was on the phone with their teacher, Ms. Lovelson. They’re in the same bird watching group and Steve is going to be guest-lecturing their Life Science class. I’m suuure that will be an embarrassment free experience for Ren! (Sarcasm.) Steve basically does everything in his power to keep Ren and Bobby from kissing now. He interrupts them constantly, makes them snacks, and sits riiiiight in the middle of them while telling boring stories. He starts to give Bobby the third degree asking him all sorts of personal questions. There’s a bit where it cuts to a black and white interrogation sequence parody. I always thought this was pretty funny.

“FOR THE LAST TIME, DEAVER! GIVE ME THE INFORMATION!”

“Alright… I have a sister… *cries*”

Now, on to the subplot! Tom got a new (giant) personal pizza oven in his room per Doris’ recommendation. Yes, Doris! This is the first time Tom ever speaks of his mom. Louis is confused and asks, “…Doris?” and Tom explains “Mother. She’s worried I don’t socialize enough with kids my own age. Which is nonsense” while simultaneously playing online chess. It’s pretty great.

“AH-HA! Trying to take my bishop! I know you too well, Mr. Smarty Trousers...” - Tom is a GIFT and the whole reason this episode isn’t ranked lower.

In hindsight, I really feel like this show gave kids very unrealistic life expectations at times. Apparently I can bring a butler to school with me, and I can make my principal quit their job and turn school into one big party. There’s no way my mom would allow me to have a freaking PIZZA OVEN in my room. First of all… why would you want to eat pizza in your bedroom anyway? Crumbs. Ew. This is the episode that made me assume that Tom is rich. We get to see his room though, which is cool! Much like Twitty’s, I feel like they got the characterization correct here as well. I seriously love that they actually put work into stuff like that. All of the rooms we’ve seen so far highlight the character’s personality without hitting you over the head with their interests. For example, this made me realize that Lizzie McGuire barely tried sometimes. Gordo was very into film, directing, and old records. So guess what they plastered on his wall?! It feels very contrived: 

In contrast.. here’s Tom’s! Very neat. Nerdy paraphernalia on his shelves. Something that looks like a pin-up model poster right above his head. Why does that seem extremely accurate to me?

Everything’s chill and then… *dun, dun, dun* The pizza oven breaks. There’s a tiny detail that I love here. Louis dramatically touches inside of the pizza oven and quickly bounces back all shocked when he feels that it’s cold. It’s just really funny to me. But, yeah. The pizza oven is dead. And ya know what that means!!! ...Louis and Twitty suddenly don’t care about spending time with Tom. Ugh. They immediately peace out and Tom is left all depressed and alone. Wow.

The next day at school, Louis is trying to tell a joke to some kids at lunch when Tom comes over all excited with good news (presumably about the pizza oven.) He keeps interrupting Louis by adding funny remarks that ultimately just annoy everyone around him. I feel so bad. The bell rings before Louis is able to say the punchline. So what does Louis do?! He starts yelling at Tom. “What’s so important?! This better be good news about the pizza oven, because right now I’m in no mood.” SERIOUSLY LOUIS?! Well, Tom catches on and can clearly tell they’re just using him. So, he goes and does what I’d do: He lies and says the oven will be broken indefinitely.

Ren and Nelson are waiting for Steve to show up for their Life Science class. (Btw: Every time I hear “Life Science” all I can think of is LIFE SCIENCE EXTREME from Ned’s Declassified, where they took baby dolls and strapped them to rockets.) Ren insists that it won’t be too embarrassing, because Steve “happens to be one of the area's foremost authorities on the Dickcissel" — with extra emphasis on “dick.” The innuendos are too much this season. Nelson laughs.

Just then, Ruby comes rushing over to run her latest gossip column by Ren. It’s here that we find out the oh so devastating Junior High news that Mandy Sanchez has a crush on Bobby Deaver. It’s kind of ridiculous because she says “I’m really sorry, Ren! Should I kill the story?!” as if it’s a serious piece of journalism. Like, do schools even allow gossip columns like that?! I’d be absolutely mortified if “Brittany Butler has a crush on ____” was written up for the entire school to read without my permission. Mandy is super preppy, fake and snobby. She’s played by Bianca Lopez who funnily enough plays another preppy, fake and snobby character in The Princess Diaries named Fontana! A member of Mandy Moore’s popular crew of cheerleaders.

Here she is making heart eyes at Bobby...

...and there she is on the left making fun of Mia. She literally plays the EXACT same character here with the same condescending, high pitched voice and everything. 

Anyway, Steve ends up being thoroughly embarrassing. Who would’ve guessed?! We get a montage displaying just how embarrassing. It starts off with him making the class pronounce “Bird” slowly, as if it’s an entry level English as a second language class. Lord help me. The montage ends with him emotionally saying “And there he was… A Yellow-Bellied Sap Sucker… actually sucking sap.” Yep. The Yellow-Bellied Sap Sucker. Disney's favorite bird. I’ll never forget the time they mentioned it on Lizzie McGuire, as well. 

Steve invites everyone to go on a field trip to Devil Mountain to observe the migration of… some bird, idk. It’s not important. When he asks who wants to join him, Bobby is the first one to raise his hand with genuine excitement. (I told you he’s weird.) So naturally Mandy, Ren, Ruby and Nelson decide to go, too. This should be interesting.  

While walking home, Louis and Twitty pass by Tom’s house and notice him sitting outside chowin’ down on some cheesy pizza. And we get this incredible exchange:

Twitty: “Hey, Gribalski! Thought you said your oven was gonna be busted for a year!” Tom: “Oops!! Guess I made a boo-boo!” Louis: “Is that any way to treat your friends, man?!” Tom: “This hot, delicious pizza is for people that care about me — and not for two faced pizza pigs like you! NOW GET OFF MY PROPERTY!”

I love Tom so much. He proceeds to sassily whip some crust at them before running into his house with a mouth full of pizza. I honestly think Tom is my second favorite character after Louis.

After coming home from food shopping, Eileen notices that Louis sneakily rang up $150 worth of frozen pizza. Wow, what a great kid he is in this episode! Needless to say, Eileen ain’t happy. He says “Look, I’m on a 4-slice-a-day habit okay? So, let’s preheat the oven to 450 and discuss this in a calm and reasonable manner” which is actually a pretty good line, lol.

The next day on the hiking trip, Steve has the kids break off into pairs to explore. He ends up pairing Bobby and Mandy together, and pairs himself with Ren. Of course. Ren and Mandy end up being extremely passive aggressive to each other and are low-key fighting over Bobby right in front of him. (See cover image of the post) Bobby clearly notices and just… walks away. This is what I mean about him being spineless. He just blows with the wind.

While paired off with Steve, Ren spends her time spying on Mandy and Bobby with her binoculars. This clearly isn’t a healthy relationship, lol. Then again, what Junior High “relationships” are?! Deep down, Ren obviously must not trust Bobby. I mean, I’d be pretty angry at Mandy’s flirty behavior too. But it takes two to tango!! Bobby’s just going along with it. Again, spineless.

Ren and Steve have a falling out when she yells that she’d rather be with her “BOYFRIEND instead of up here watching stupid birds with you!!!” The Stevens kids are not their best this week, lol. When storming off, Ren unknowingly heads down the “Devil’s Backside: DANGER!” trail. (Also, “Devil’s Backside”??? Wow.) While wandering around lost, Ren almost falls to her death in the most hilarious way:

She’s clearly just standing on one leg and flailing her arms around in front of a green screen. Amazing.  

She lands holding onto a brittle branch. Even though she could very well die at any moment.. she still whips out those binoculars again to spy on Bobby and Mandy. Priorities. 

The branch breaks and she falls even further. Thankfully, Steve finds her. They have a heart-to-heart and make up. So, that’s nice. This plot ends with Steve separating Bobby and Mandy on the ride home so Ren and Bobby can be together. Bobby claims he missed Ren all day and felt like Mandy was crowding him. Okay. Sure. I don’t trust this guy either. But, yeah. That’s it for that.

Louis calls Twitty and Tawny in for an emergency meeting to brainstorm how to get revenge on Tom. Tawny isn’t impressed and heads straight for the door. Same. She asks them if they even know anything about Tom or care about him. Like the fact that he’s currently representing LJH in their regional chess meet. Obviously, they didn’t know because they’re awful friends. They seem remorseful, but then Louis gives us this gem of a line:

It’s incredibly funny out of context, but in context it’s just extremely immature and flippant. Tawny says “Louis, no one can disappoint me quite like you can” and leaves, which marks the turning point for Louis here. That’s one thing I really like about this episode. It took Tawny’s disapproval for him to realize how terrible he was being. It just goes to show how much he cares about her and values her opinion.

Cut to Tom’s chess meet. Louis and Twitty show up and turn it into some lively, obnoxious sports event. Complete with painted chests and D-Fence signs. I’m sure this would never fly irl, but it’s a really nice gesture in the Even Stevens-verse. They cheer Tom on the entire time, until he eventually wins! Yay! He gets a great final line, too. When asked the classic “You’ve just won… What are you gonna do now?!” question, where an athlete would typically reply “I’M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!!!” Tom says, “I’m gonna go get my windbreaker.” I love this. I have said this before and people literally looked at me like ???

One other great thing about this scene is in the final moments of the meet. Louis is sitting with Tawny anxiously awaiting the outcome… and she just glances at him — proud of his decision to be a good friend in the end. They’re so cute.

The end!!

In conclusion, Tom is most definitely the greatest thing about this episode. Since he’s a supporting character, I thought I’d rank this one a little higher than I might’ve otherwise because he deserves the love!

I adore the ending with Louis showing up and being supportive of Tom, and that little look from Tawny. It almost makes up for Louis being generally awful the entire time. The Ren/Bobby/Mandy love triangle isn’t totally bad, though! I live for petty teen drama, tbh.

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[grabcock2]

birthdays are not my thing

WOW what a weekend I don't even know where to begin. I guess friday night?

Friday night I went out to the bars with my fam. It was actually a great time and I loved every second of it! I ended up drinking way too much and I was almost blackout. We got back to the house at 2:45 but on the way home I can't remember exactly what the conversation consisted of but Lindsey said I wasn't gonna end up with Chris, Laura said I wasn’t gonna end up with Chris and Savannah said she could see it going either way. That literally made me so upset. I got home and I called Chris and I honestly can't remember everything that was said. Essentially it consisted of me saying things along the lines of ~I want to be with you for a long time~ ~Why would we still be dating if there wasn't a future in sight~ and I was hammered so I only remember a few of his replies. There were quite a few silences although I’m not quite sure how long/awkward they actually were lol? BUT he insisted that he loved me very much and couldn't wait to see what the future holds. I think. Lol @ me i suck a lot. So then I puked my brains out and went to bed. I woke up the next morning and went to the gym still drunk ha. I hate birthdays quite a lot. I spent most of the day hungover as shit. I tried to take a nap and that didn't work  but then I got ready to see my parents because they drove in! They came and we sat in my room and just talked and it was really nice. Then we left and I got Chris. 

Things werent exactly weird but I’m overthinking like crazy at this point. It was scary I thought I fucked it up a lot. Idk talking about futures is really scary and it was honestly too soon to say things like that. I guess its just the same age gap as lauren and I forget that sometimes. Lauren and I are in very different stages in our lives and I’m at a more mature one so I think that Chris is in that more mature mind set too but then I forget that he is literally just a freshman and I need to chill af. I need to go somewhere this summer I need to give him space. I don't need space, I want to spend every waking second with him but he is still a freshman boy and he's not even 19 yet. He needs time to be a freshman boy. 

OK i ranted enough there. SO bottomline I'm overreacting and overthinking at this point. We get there and have an awesome time I really enjoyed it! ps chris looks adorable with a tiny child on his shoulders. i was dead i died he looked so hot wtf. so then we left and then it seemed a bit weirder but again... probably me overthinking like crazy oops. 

We get to Chris’s room. I asked Ben earlier in the week if it was alright that I slept over with Chris. He had 0 problem with it. So we get there and ben and vikash are in there watching basketball and its fine whatever. I think Ben got the hint the first time and he and vikash talked about making plans. EVENTUALLY  they got up and went to smokey’s. i swear to god 30 minutes later Ben texts chris saying “hey I'm coming back”. We were literally “after sex snuggling” without clothes on, i was about to kill ben. Chris asks when he’ll be back and he goes “I just parked, on my way up”. WAS LIVID. Ben came back up and sat back down in his room and his friends came in. Never mind that there are 3 other rooms in their suite that he could've invited his friends into. So I'm sitting on Chris’s bed wrapped in a blanket evaluating the situation. Chris goes to the bathroom and I realized how shitty this was and decided i wasn't dealing with it because I was pissed. Chris came back in the room and i told him i was gonna leave. Low-key i think he wanted me too. When ben was on his way up Chris said “Well it'll be a night of him yelling at the tv and me eating a calzone if you still want to stay”. but Chris walks me to my car and its silent. We get to it and he says “I’m getting in” so he gets in and asks me whats wrong. I immediately shed one tear and then it doesn't stop for the rest of the night. For a solid 20 minutes he kept asking me what was wrong and to talk to him. But i had no explanation of why I was so sad. The ben thing was so petty. I don't get that upset about things like that. I’m a tough cookie!! But i eventually figured that I would start with why i hate 20 so much. 

disclaimer - i’m going off on a tangent. 

I hate being 20. Your entire life is supposed to happen in your 20s. These are supposed to be the best years of your life. But I am in constant fear of failure. What if I'm gonna be a bad lawyer? What if I don't get into Law school? What if Chris and I break up and my plan is ruined. What if i don't have a good job. what if I have to find someone else to marry? What if i can't get pregnant? What if I can't get a job? I don't know whats going to happen and thats terrifying. I don't want to be a failure and I’m so terrified I’m going to be. SO yes i hate turning 20.

Ok back on track. So I told him that ^^ and then we talked more and other reasons I was upset i.e. i always cry after i see my dad because i miss him so much all the time and my brother forgot to text me and I hate Ben for ruining the rest of my birthday. Then I freaked again about being a failure and then Chris tells me his philosophy on life. He's so optimistic. He wants a little William running around and a wife he loves and a job he loves. Even if his job isn't the best it won't matter to him because he's making money to sustain his beautiful family and thats what matters to him. ( He made a slight innuendo to me in the future but it was very small and confusing so I’m just not gonna think about that lol) But then he stopped talking and i was looking out the window and I look over and he's crying. He's so excited for the future that he was crying about it. That boy is too wonderful I am too lucky to love someone like him. He's amazing and so inspirational. He makes me want to be a better person. 

BUT he ended up getting out of the car and I went home still sad. I woke up the next morning and he texted me “I’m pissed”. apparently Ben never came home that night. He didn't FUCKING tell anyone he was sleeping somewhere else. LET ALONE HIS ROOMMATE OR ONE OF HIS BEST FRIENDS??? ON THEIR FUCKING BIRTHDAY?? AFTER HE WATCHED THEM LEAVE THE ROOM VISIBLEY UPSET, HE DIDNT EVEN SAY GOODBYE BTW. I WAS FUCKING PISSED. HE IS SO SELFISH AND INCONSIDERATE? HE RUINED MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY HE IS THE REASON I CRIED. HE IS THE SOLE REASON THAT MADE ME LOSE MY SHIT AND BAWL MY EYES OUT ON MY BIRTHDAY I HATE HIM SO MUCH I WILL NEVER FORGIVE HIM FOR THIS. All i wanted for my birthday was to spend time with Chris and I couldn't even do that because of his selfishness. I hate that inconsiderate, egotistical son of a bitch. I spent the day with Lauren and Allison and it was a little better but I still feel a little weird about things but in time they'll get better. 

Jesus yes that was my birthday and thats why i hate birthdays. 

well... peace. I need sleep. 

Jan 29, 2017