#this isn’t a vague post or hate to that person or anything i just saw those tags and went-

[foggysirens]

okay so someone reblogged my post (about how din and luke are so desperately touch starved and how they find comfort within one another and slowly banish the loneliness away with one another’s touch) and made a comment about how they don’t see luke as touch starved because he was never really isolated from his family and gives and receives touch very easily and like no hate cause i love that idea as well, in fact i absolutely agree- luke grew up in a very loving family that showed him that affection openly- a hug from beru before she’d go to bed, a fond ruffle of the hair from owen after he’d scraped his knee- touch and connection clearly mean a lot to him. we can see it in anh and esb how freely and easily he uses touch with those around him- the group hug with han and leia after the victory of the trench run, putting a friendly hand on chewies shoulder and letting himself get pulled into an embrace, his arm around leia as they stare out the viewport. luke is a tactile person. no doubt. but that’s also how we know he’s changed when we get to rotj and he’s noticeably less so. that’s how we can see how reserved he’s become, taking on a mantle of stoicism he’s not fully comfortable with yet, but wears anyways. war and loss has changed him. he’s still kind, still luke, just less free with his touch and joy- and with that i can’t help but go back to my thoughts on my first post about him being touch starved, because is it not even more understandable and heartbreaking that he is so? luke, a person who clearly craves and reaches out for touch, suddenly devoid of it? it makes his loneliness so much for profound, him suddenly distanced from his sister and friends after the war, all of them going their own ways, living their own lives. there is no aunt and uncle to go home to. no father or master, just his texts. the force. and how, for so long after that, that is just how he lives, a random touch on the arm or hug from leia every now and then, but the comfort and ease of touch he’d once had as a young man is gone. and how, once he meets din, he finally gets to have that part of himself back. the part that can indulge and reach for that comfort and need to have someone close. heal his touch starved soul in such a beautiful way and remind him that after all of it, all the war and fighting and isolation that he did not choose but found himself in, luke deserves the touch he so craves.

[synthetickitsune]

omg i woke up and saw your post about requests and came running!! you alr know i need all the angst in my life so can i please req dk + come back to me if he hurts you” 🥺🫶🏻

thx for helping me realize i write mostly angst for sunshine boy and continuing the tradition 🫶🏻 akjddsk

DK (SVT) | “Come back to me if he hurts you.” angst | 0.7k | gn!reader

He stares at you, processing. It feels - well, there’s no way to put how it feels. His chest is hollow. He has no parallel to draw, so he just… stares.

The information shouldn’t come as a surprise. He’s heard through the grapevine that you began dating again. Honestly, should he even care? He does. But should he? Does he have any right to care? The split was amicable, mutual. Friendly even. You’re friends still. You seem happy. He’s genuinely happy that you are happy, so why…

“Seok? Are you alright?” your panicked voice and slowly approaching hand make him wake up and flinch away. He feels his face soften from whatever grimace he was making upon seeing your hurt expression.

“Sorry, yeah,” he clears his throat, “I’m alright. Uh, so things are good, yeah?”

He tries hard to ignore your face morphing into a mask of indifference.

“Yeah, things are good,” you repeat.

The silence that follows is awkward and stretches on. He wants to break it but he has no idea how.

“This was a mistake, wasn’t it?” you laugh, but it sounds empty as you hide your face in your hands, “I don’t know why I told you.”

“Hey,” he protests way too quickly and his hand immediately shoots to your shoulder, and he pulls it back just as quickly. You turn towards him and frown. It’s unusual to see him so serious. “I want you to tell me. You’re my friend.”

Your smile is sad. He hates it.

“We’re more than that, Min,” you sigh. It’s quiet again and he’s just as helpless.

“I guess I want to tell you everything - would that be cruel?” you meet his eyes again, but all he sees is the anxious way you fidget with a loose thread on your pants, “I guess I just want to know if you think we’ll work out. You’re the one who’d be the best judge of that.”

“I’m the worst one to be the judge of that,” he corrects you, his voice slipping into his comedic persona easily, “Seeing how things turned out.”

You do laugh and some of the unpleasant feelings lift off his shoulders. He doesn’t know what would be the best or most appropriate thing to say next. He’s not sure how he’s supposed to feel. All he knows is he has to start talking or this will be very pathetic very soon.

“I’m really happy for you, sorry,” he smiles, blinking away some of the moisture in his eyes, “I don’t know why this-” he motions vaguely to his face, “Happened.”

You chuckle, but looking at you, your eyes are wet too. 

“I get it,” you nod, “I’m so scared it’ll end wrong again.”

He sighs. As if he didn’t know the feeling intimately well. 

“Did-” he stops himself before he can finish, thinking better of it, but you push for it anyway. “Did I do something? Something so bad it makes you afraid now?”

“Oh god, Min, no,” you rush to reassure him and end up grabbing his hand in both of yours. You bite your lit. This isn’t exactly how you expected the talk to go. “If anything you loved me too well. So I’m afraid I won’t feel love like that again. Or that I’ll fuck up and lose it.”

“You couldn’t ever fuck up like that,” he laughs - the idea alone is so ridiculous, “Because you’re the kind of person nobody would want to lose.”

You shake your head, leaning into him with a laugh. He’s warm against your side. It feels comfortable. Comfortable like it used to feel even before you dated, like it did when you were together too. You missed being this comfortable with Seokmin after the breakup. 

Things change, but maybe they don’t need to be all that different. You have too much history to let go. And all of it is good - as much as humanly possible.

“Come back to me if he hurts you,” he outstretches his pinky to you. You huff, but there’s a wobbly grin on your face anyway when you promise with your own.

“You got it, Min.”

[nights-at-crystarium]

Fragments - episodes 19-22 author notes

You can find similar breakdown posts on older episodes in my pinned!

Obligatory ShB spoiler warning.

First off, the two panels that took a silly amount of time just because I wanted to reflect Vivi’s impressions on the city.

Episodes 18, 19, 20 open up with Vivi being concerned with the most pressing matters:

Can’t fight if you ain’t pretty (or got just 1-2 outfits to be pretty in, that won’t do either)

I still really like the panel above, especially their pose. Episodes 19-22 show how they gradually get rid of physical boundaries. They didn’t even touch back when they first met (episode 15).

Vivi’s casual about physical affection with friends, just one of his core things.

Of course Vivi would trust and choose the company of a pixie, a supernatural being, over a (presumably) human who only reinforces Vivi’s worst opinions on humanity at that point in time, concealing himself and swimming in secrets. Get rekt nerd.

At least Vivi isn’t openly hostile, just.. Dismissive? I saw some other WoLs who outright hate Exarch for abducting the Scions and almost getting themselves, the WoL, killed at Ghimlyt Dark. Vivi, however, just wants to be left alone.

Tfw the love of your life is being stolen by your dear friend. Or vice versa? Or both at the same time? Anyway, Vivi and Feo Ul form a new cool kids' club and Exarch isn't invited.

Can't relax in your favorite secluded spot for a godsdamned moment without some pesky dragoon randomly popping out of nowhere.

While I hc Exarch being able to sense living presence around the Tower, imagine doing that 24/7 for every person. I like to think that he learned to filter it out, turn off/on at will. And while he's in a public place, with his glamour up, he doesn't need to upkeep the "radar", he's just chilling and is possibly lost in thoughts, and that's why Vivi startles him.

This scene bears more symbolic meaning than plot importance. And, uh, some foreshadowing? Forelighting? x'D While Vivi doesn’t fall (heh) for his savior, he’ll reflect upon this at a later time.

Vivi’s normally careful and stately. Yes he’s an elf but he do be carryin’ himself like a cat. There’s a lot of control and assertion behind his trademark nonchalant posture. So, NORMALLY, this wouldn’t happen. Maybe he got distracted by the shiny? And where’s Feo Ul?

Exarch, however, the man that chokes on air unprompted, in a moment like this acts before he could think. As some people correctly noted, the old man’s QUICK. The “screentime” stretches out as Vivi’s life almost begins flashing before his eyes, while for Exarch it's gotta be a mere second or two.

I’m extra proud of the colorwork here. As if blood’s gone from Vivi’s face, as if his entire body went cold, but life slowly returns to him, starting with that hand. You bet this’s brimming with subtext.

Exarch uses his left hand over the right, for better friction and probably because he doesn’t like the attention to his right hand.

I like that this panel’s caused confusion, it worked as intended :9 An all too vague dark joke that almost cost Vivi his life. In his head it went like “yeah anyone can fly once, when they’re about to go splat”, but he wasn’t only preoccupied with the jumps, but also didn’t KNOW yet that he HAS TO speak with a fae like almost with a child, or a lawyer. Simplest terms. No ambiguity. EVER. They’ll misinterpret you unwittingly, or on purpose.

And so they did. Or didn’t? Feo Ul’s spent a long time offscreen, but whether they chose not to help, or even gave Vivi a little push, will forever stay a mystery because why not.

Lesson learned.. On both sides.. Hopefully. Also, fret not, Exarch WILL say fuck one day, one day~

Vivi's lucky. Incredibly so. He's aware of it, doesn't see it as anything special, like you don't see anything special in being able to read this. Perhaps jumping up an unknown structure while being accompanied by an exceedingly curious and mischievous creature is risky even for his kind, but Vivi's so used to getting away with so many things that he doesn't stop to consider it for the tiniest moment.

The first genuine exchange of smiles.

Silver lining: now they have better chances at getting along and returning to that world-saving duty.

Update from January 2024: I came back here to tell you something that took me so long to realize about episode 20′s description:

And all he saw was the Light, and then he knew that Death wore white in this world.

I randomly popped off with this prose, which on itself is a cool thing, but now I realize the extra meanings it could take on. Thinking about 5.x and Elidibus has me feeling unwell in the best way. THAT VIVI ALSO WEARS WHITE HERE IS UH. A coincidence. But it also kinda works as the Warrior of Darkness becomes somewhat of a local Reaper in the First, and then, well, then we have that Light corruption arc :3c

Vivi's calm and tender enough for a pixie to trust him with their wings.

Feo Ul ate and drank several times their size, and all that hero talk.. Ugh. Time for a nap.

Drawing this made me yawn at least 3 times. You’re not immune either.

He’s activating his scanners :>

Vivi's definition of nice is "not nagging, begging or preaching, and using bare facts and logic to convince the hero to do the hero thing".

Literally the next page if you’re reading in order :’> Riiiiiiiiight. That hero thing.

We don’t question whether Vivi invited his loveliest branch, or if they invited themselves. The fact is, they’re there and Vivi’s totally cool with it.

Exarch must be watching. And probably foaming at mouth as Feo Ul keeps leading in the race for Vivi’s heart. They don’t only earn the hero’s trust, but get in his bed and, gasp, brush his hair.

Vivi's getting comfy in his role somewhere between a disney princess and Feo Ul’s pet.

A writing-related tangent incoming, but, since you’re here, I assume you’re already somewhat interested in this kinda stuff.

So, there’s the script, the plain text that waits to get illustrated. The screenplay, if you will. I don’t just sit down and draw enough random things to fill a few pages, I approach this as an actual cohesive serialized story.

I changed a good half of this episode when I began storyboarding it. In the initial script from some months ago, Vivi said "I slept so well". Something about this didn't sit right with me. It’s the most basic mistake of telling instead of showing. I asked myself, would he, a person who takes good sleep and dreams for granted, say that out loud? Nah. I removed that bit, and drew him stretching deliciously. He also asked Feo Ul if they guarded his dreams, they smiled vaguely but warmly just like in the finalized version, but then Vivi simply muttered "I could get used to this" and gave them headpats. I decided to elevate this scene by adding this tiny rollercoaster, which brought Feo Ul's greyness to the forefront, and thickly hinted that Vivi doesn't only sleep well, but has nice dreams that he probably starts cherishing after this.

To be fair, this isn’t super important for the main plot, I just wanted to highlight the difference between Vivi and Exarch, the latter being in a hate-hate relationship with sleep. Vivi’s affinity with dreams is a door I like to keep open for the possible future story (talking post-EW events).

Now you know this’s the face they make before going apeshit.

Imagine if this prank didn't exist and instead Vivi simply said "I slept so well, this's so important to me". I’m proud of the writing muscle I’m growing on the fly ;w;

Ardbert's chance to act and feel normal, thwarted in the next few seconds.

I'm so glad that people are picking up on this!! “Hey man” is Vivi’s way of providing whatever comfort he could. An illusion of normalcy. He’s emotionally intelligent when it matters.

..But he should’ve also considered that Feo Ul can and will ruin the vibe :’>

Another screenwriting thing: this episode lacks an establishing shot, i.e. the obligatory zoomed out view on everyone in the room, but I think this’s a rare case of “less is more”. Along with the light vs shadow, it reinforces the feeling of separation. Vivi and Feo Ul are shown together, interacting, doing cute stuff, while Ardbert’s alone. Sorry not sorry for the hurty :’>

This’s all I’ve got for now. Thanks for reading and paying so much attention! People start to notice and analyze the things I’m weaving in, and it’s the best kinda interaction I as a creator could wish for.

[sugdenlovesdingle]

Tarlos @flufftober day 4 (day 3 is still in the works but will be posted later today!)

Alt prompt #5 "Oh no, you're a morning person!"

The first morning (AO3)

The morning after the first time TK spends the night at Carlos' place

---

Carlos woke up and could barely move. For a second he thought sleep paralysis had taken over his body, but then he felt a puff of air on the back of his neck, and he remembered the night before.

He smiled to himself and slowly, carefully, turned around.

Next to him, or rather, clinging to him like an octopus, was TK.

TK who had finally agreed to spend the night and didn’t run a mile in the middle of the night.

He watched TK sleep and barely managed to stop himself from reaching out and running his fingers through his hair.

It had been a rough few months for them but they were finally in a good place, only despite spending most evenings at Carlos’ place, TK had never actually stayed over. Until last night.

They’d gone out to the club they’d taken Paul to a few weeks earlier, and they’d danced and just let loose, knowing they’d both have a few days off coming up.

Afterwards Carlos had, almost on autopilot, driven them back to Owen’s place, only for TK to stop him and tell him to turn left to his house instead.

They hadn’t even done anything but snuggle up in bed and sleep, but Carlos couldn’t remember the last time he had been this happy.

After allowing himself to look at TK a little longer, he carefully slipped out of bed and went downstairs. He was going to make TK breakfast in bed and make their first morning together special.

He opened the fridge and sighed when he saw its contents . He hadn’t planned on TK staying over and he hadn’t had the chance to go grocery shopping yet that week.

He briefly considered getting fresh pastries from the bakery down town TK had mentioned he liked, but he didn’t want to risk him waking up in an empty house thinking Carlos had run off.

“Looks like there’s enough for pancakes here.” He mumbled to himself. “And I still have some of that green tea he likes and those bananas are still ok to eat.” He shook his head when he realised he’d been talking to himself. “First sign of madness, Reyes.” He turned the radio on for background noise and got to work.

He wasn’t really listening to the music, just humming along while he cooked until he vaguely recognised a song his mother loved. He remembered catching his parents dancing to it in the kitchen on more than one occasion.

“You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you.” He quietly sang along, thinking of TK and maybe dancing to the very song with him some day.

“Oh no, you’re a morning person.” He suddenly heard from behind him, making him jump and turn around. “If this is a regular thing, this isn’t going to work.” TK joked, looking unfairly attractive for someone who had apparently just woken up.

“You're supposed to be in bed! I was going to make you breakfast in bed!” Carlos scolded him, when his heartrate had returned to normal.

“I woke up and you weren’t there. I got lonely.” TK shrugged, pushing himself off the doorjamb and walking over to Carlos, wrapping his arms around his waist. “And then I heard you down here and I thought I'd come enjoy the show.”

Carlos laughed and leaned in for a kiss.

“What can I say, I'm in a good mood.”

“Yeah? Any particular reason?”

“I don’t know. I had a good night’s sleep. It’s a nice day…”

“It’s raining.”

“Maybe I like rain.”

“No you don’t, you hate rain because it messes up your hair.” TK teased.

“That was one time!” Carlos protested. “And it was because I wanted to look nice for you on our first official date.”

TK’s face softened and he pressed another kiss to Carlos’ lips.

“You looked great babe. You always do. It’s not fair really.”

“Hmm… says the man who looks like a model when he’s just woken up.”

“Shut up. You’re my boyfriend, you’re biased.” TK said and Carlos briefly wondered if he could feel his heart skip a beat at the mention of that word. It wasn’t the first time TK had called him his boyfriend, but he still felt giddy every time.

“What are you making?” TK peeked over his shoulder at the stove.

“Pancakes. Is that alright?”

“Sure.”

“What? Don’t you like pancakes?”

“No I do, I do. I just... never really eat breakfast. I usually just have a smoothie and back in New York I’d just get a coffee and whatever pastry looked semi fresh from the bodega near the firehouse.”

Carlos frowned.

“You can’t live on coffee and a pastry. Let alone work a full shift.”

“I don’t know. I’d just rather sleep a little longer than get up to cook.”

“From now on, I’ll make you a real breakfast whenever I can.”

“From now on? Does that mean this will be a regular thing?” TK asked innocently.

“I hope so. I like waking up next to you.” Carlos said and kissed him before stepping out of his embrace and turning his attention back to the stove. “Sit down, they’re almost done.”

“I thought I was getting breakfast in bed?”

“Get back to bed then, I’ll be up in a sec.” Carlos ordered, making TK laugh

In the end they settled on the sofa together, enjoying the pancakes and each other’s company with the radio in the kitchen still playing mindless pop songs.

“You know that song is actually about a man.” TK said around a bite of food.

“What song?”

“The one you were singing along to in the kitchen earlier. Can't take my eyes off you. Bob Crewe wrote it after waking up next to a man one morning and not being able to stop looking at him.”

Carlos gave him a questioning look.

“How do you even know that?”

TK shrugged.

“My mom is a musical theatre fan. She'd take me to shows all the time back in New York. We saw Jersey Boys four times I think. The story of Frankie Valli and the four seasons. She knew the guy who played Bob Crewe somehow and he told us that after the show one time.”

“So what you're saying is that you are a secret theatre kid?” Carlos teased. “What other trivia do you know?”

“Not much. I was just reminded of it when I saw you in the kitchen. I think I understand Bob Crewe now.” TK said and pressed a kiss to Carlos’ shoulder.

“Yeah? Are you going to write a song about me then?”

TK laughed.

“If I do, you’ll be the first to know.”

[sadgirlautumn]

need to rant

there's just certain people on here who are a bunch of fakes its nice seeing half of the swifties on here who are bullys and leaving the fandom because she hasn't spoken up it's about time

I’m not sure what triggered this because i try to stay out of fandom drama in general and I’ve been offline these past few days so I don’t know if this is related to anything in particular but I’ll give you some general advice. All I recommend is really paying attention to who is saying things that are upsetting you and once the same blog upsets you again it’s time to unfollow/soft block/block (whatever feels right for you). Everyone wants different things out of the internet, some people just want a community where they can talk about Taylor and the art she creates (which I respect and understand) and others are rightfully frustrated with Taylor and need a place to let that frustration out because it’s always upsetting to find out your fave isn’t who you thought they were (which I also respect and understand). Although I don’t agree that all the swifties asking Taylor to speak up about Palestine are bullies I do agree a small group of people on here take their response to opinions that don’t relate to their own a bit too far. A few weeks ago I witnessed on the dash one of my mutuals who has been vocal about supporting Palestine just simply list some reasons why Taylor might not want to speak up right now and I saw this person receive anon hate and vague posts about them from their mutuals and in my opinion all that situation warranted was some gentle criticism.

[buff-electra-truther]

Stex Appreciation Month: Electra

Fav actor: Koffi Missah is the best overall.  I think the MJ/Prince train angle is the most effective characterization for Electra and he looks, acts, and sounds perfect for that approach.  It’s fun and recognizable in the cheap seats in a language you don’t know.  But it also has a lot of potential for depth, there’s a double entendre to be made about the government/big companies conspiring against electric trains for being too successful and certain tropes about electrical powers. 

Mykal Rand is basically impossible to beat aesthetically for me.  I cannot look away from the absurdity of how smooth and girly his face is combined with how cartoonishly ripped he is.  Even footage of him on tiny tour stages in beat up ill-fitting costumes is captivating. He’s just so extreme and maximalist yet alien looking.  

I’m surprisingly unpicky on Electra actors as long as they aren’t boring.  That’s the only real crime.  But I tend to prefer ones who have/could pull off Greaseball because I prefer a bolder, louder Electra (and basically require it post 2018 so I don’t forget he even exists with that borderline camoflouge costume)

Fav songs/scenes: Dinah’s Disco because I love watching him get shoved, a nice more intense version of AC/DC, anything involving No Comeback or its leitmotif.  Once again, What Time Is It? is a terrible song but purely redeemed because Mykal is hilarious in it.

Fav costumes: Broadway/Bochum toothpaste is a classic, but I’m also weirdly fond of Late London because I love the cartoony look (especially on Chris Copeland since he went all in on the makeup style to match)

Ships/Friendships: already went over how I view him and Greaseball the other day.

I like to look at pictures from the JPN/AUS tours out of context and think Electra looks cold and lonely and in need of a buddy and Caboose coaxes him into fun bad ideas

Headcanons: 

-I habitually call Electra “he” because it’s what canon does 90% of the time, but view the character as neutral (all of them really).  Electra and the Components are about the only ones smart enough to realize these forms are an illusion and there’s no reason to play by human paradigms, it would be equally stupid if they subscribed to blood type personalities too.  They are VERY smug about this but slowly the message is spreading.  

-I vary in what exact basis I’ll give him but see him as either irl, alternate timeline, or outright sci-fi Amtrak’s choice of successor to the GG1.  He isn’t weak or terribly delicate if the infrastructure works (unless you keep him as 40101 lol), he follows in their tracks of being a huge effortless machine that’ll run away with basically anything you stick on it.  If he actually played it clean, he’d probably dominate going uphill vs Greaseball and especially Rusty, he just doesn’t flaunt strength much in canon because it’s not relevant to the race.

-Electra is a  Fully Automated Bi Space Communist who wants to run catenaries across the Rocky Mountains and Siberia

-If you turn the dials and knobs Electra will morph like a game’s character slider just like how it’s simple to regear electric locos for passenger/freight use.  

Unpopular opinions:  lmao I think all my Electra preferences are moderately to very fandom unpopular.  I’m a contrarian who likes the character for fundamentally different reasons than most.  I’ve vaguely known of the character for years but didn’t really fall in love with him until recently when I saw those 2013 tour videos people either love or hate. Yeah they have the worst staging and costumes but I went “oh hell yeah finally a less problematic alternative to my blorbos Ganondorf and Velvet von Ragnar”.  I think those two names alone make it pretty clear why I like a bulkier, hotter natured, more affectionate and competent Electra than most.  I crave novelty and get bored by oversaturated things so I’m naturally drawn to androgynous characters that aren’t twinks or prettyboys so seeing Mykal vs the more typical tall skinny Electras really made me more interested in the character, even if I think there’s more interesting characterizations than his.  

[razorblade180]

I may get some hate for this, but… I’m not really a fan of how Yang has been handled in the past few volumes. Like, in my honest opinion, she feels less like Ruby’s older sister like what was shown in the first few volumes and more like just a love interest for Blake to have. It feels like she’s gotten to where she cares more about Blake than Ruby in my opinion.

[This is not a rant btw]

In my opinion it’s more of a “show, don’t tell” problem. There’s never been a moment I doubted that Yang loves Ruby to death, but also the show at times tries to have moments that by design, should be heavier, but don’t land as hard because we didn’t actually see the connection that got us to this point. It can be conflicting. I mean Ep 2 of Volume 1 literally has Yang just leave Ruby at the front of their new school to go catch up with friends.

Just today I saw a post about how it kinda hurt to hear Ruby say the things she did towards Yang considering how Yang gave up her childhood to help care for Ruby. I read that and I’m like….they aren’t wrong but we also really have to take the word of the show that Yang really sacrificed a lot, because we didn’t see anything. Not every viewer can or should be expected to latch on to unseen moments; and it kinda goes both ways. We never have Ruby expressing or preaching on about how meaningful Yang has been in her life because this show never wants to really talk about the Ruby and Yang that made it to volume 1. Their past is so vague and never really bleeds into the dynamic we see in meaningful ways.

Also, this is sorta a nitpick, but it doesn’t help that sometimes there’s dialogue about a character that isn’t really true or points something out that nobody ever thought was a problem for a character. The most recent instance of this for me is last weeks episode 6. Blake told Yang “You are always the first to lighten a situation” when Yang objectively been the most aggressively negative member of team RWBY from V4-V7 and tied with Ren in V8. Volume 9 is the first time Yang acts similarly to before the fall of Beacon. Yang also in the seen talks about how nice it was that Blake wasn’t scared of her when they met. As an audience, that’s never been a problem or insecurity expressed to us but I digress.

So while I do agree with you a little, I don’t see it as a Yang problem or shift in dynamic, and more of a writing problem that’s been there for awhile. Personally, I would’ve loved to get more of their sibling dynamic because I too have a big sister and am also someone’s older sibling. So for me, hearing what the show has told me about their situation, I do find it pretty weird that Ruby doesn’t see Yang somewhat as a second mom to a degree; or how Yang isn’t as attached in certain regards.

Has anyone seen Onward? You would think at some baseline level they would be a little more like those two brothers in a way.

[jamiesfootball]

for the ask game thing, J, A, M, I, E, S, F, O, T, B, L, because i'm cheeky

You are darling

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)

Most things my god. Critical Role. The Magnus Archive. Riverdale. Welcome to Night Vale. Bridgerton. Six of Crows. The Owl House. I could go on.

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

Jamie Tartt / general happiness. If there is a person who kind of breathed on him nice one time, I want to hear about it. Jamie and the rest of the team I am particularly interested in, because while Ted Lasso as a whole is a good show, it did not often give us ensemble-hangs-out plotlines, and I love a good ensemble.

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

Higgins!

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

MCU. After a while I got tired of seeing the characters I liked from the comics getting watered down, and it drove me crazy to see how much fandom liked the watered down versions.

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

It's probably the cat thing, isn't it? Though I'm quite proud of my Richmond injury list

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

I just posted a very long one about Jamie and Isaac, but the long and short of it is that they send each other selfies of their outfits for the day every morning.

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

The first fandom I was in was Dragon Ball Z. As I am still ingesting fan content for it, I would say I am still in the fandom. So that's about 25 years.

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

This was vaguely rigged because of how often I've been listening to my character playlists. The song that came on is 'Passing through a Screen Door' by The Wonder Years, Little Kruta. It's not only from my Jamie Tartt playlist, but some of the lyrics are chapter titles in one of my fics.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

Answered the big one already, but for a minor stupid headcanon that I'll put up in a place of prominence: after Wembley, Higgins was informed of what happened. He was distraught for the role he unknowingly played. He delicately put word to security to let him know if any complaints were filed or needed to be filed to keep Jamie's dad off the premises. And when no complaints were filed...

...look, he's a middle manager at heart. He's used to doing what needs done without people telling him to do it or even knowing he took care of it. Unbeknownst to anyone outside of the Directors of Beboperations (plus a few favors called in),Jamie's dad is banned from a number of stadiums across the country (12 and counting).

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

Richard and Jan Maas. They're asshole 4 asshole. I get it.

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

For someone whose purpose is narrative villain, I find the character of Rupert interesting. He's charming, he's determined, he's relentless, he's socially gifted - all positive traits that double as flaws. You see why Rebecca fell for him as easily as you see why she loathes him.

[monzamash]

just don’t understand why u keep saying you’ve gone off daniel because of ‘what he said/did earlier in the season’ yet ur perfectly happy to write for lando who also made questionable comments idk just feels hypocritical. what made landos comments ok but daniels so horrid lol it makes no sense 👍 if u want to be a daniel hater just come out and say it instead of being all coy about it and pretending like ur not being weird about it cause u say u won’t write for him and then u update ur layout and put up a picture of it lmao so which is it

i don’t know if this is the same anon that’s been sending me shit every second day for months about this - i’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say it’s not because of the way you’ve typed this out but the message is still the same and this is the last straw.

i don’t hate daniel. if you look at my last post i said that he’s a big part of why i fell in love with f1. he was also the reason i started this blog so just because i’m not writing for him now, doesn’t mean i hate him. it’s not as black and white for me as it seems to be for you.

writing doesn’t define my blog - its something i do when i feel like it and most of the time i’m either chatting with you guys on here or supporting other writers. it was a fun escape but lately it’s been the opposite of that.

people may not like this but in my opinion daniels comments were significantly more damaging than landos vague response to a question that nobody could factually corroborate. i don’t think i’m alone in thinking that. daniel straight up said the one thing i personally hate the most when someone’s defending an abuser which is, “well [insert name] has always been good to me so…” that’s what upset me the most and now i have no desire to write for him. that is simply how i feel and if you don’t agree/understand, it’s all good. try and find other blogs who do share your views. makes life a lot easier.

anyway, did daniels comments make me want to erase every trace of him from my blog? no but i made it clear that i wouldn’t be writing for him for the foreseeable future and if anything changed, i would give people the heads up. what i absolutely won’t be doing is caving in to bullies who hide behind a shadow on the fucking internet who say i that i should delete my blog and myself while i’m at it.

so the context of why i made a header with daniel in it was that i thought including him would allow people the chance to bounce if they don’t want to read any daniel fics or interact with a blog that had a lot of daniel content in the past - people hate him and have made sure to tell me how fucked i am to still have his fics in my masterlist. thats the sort of hate that really gets to me because i’m so proud of some of those fics and spent a lot of time on them. that’s one reason why I won’t ever delete them but it’s also because there are daniel fans out there who hopefully feel like they can still interact with me even if we don’t share the exact same opinion. i don’t want that to change.

another thing to note is that this header was up for like two seconds and the fact you saw it must mean you’re just stalking my page? are you checking in to call me out the second i do something wrong? and you think i’m weird? alright lol

lastly, saying i’m being coy and weird isn’t fair - i’ve been honest about where i stand and even when i’ve been unsure, i was still being upfront and owning the fact that i didn’t know what direction this blog would take after all that. so if what i’ve said in this post or in the past isn’t enough for you, then just leave please. literally leave me alone because i don’t want to do this anymore.

[briarpatch-kids]

I’ve seen a lot of your posts about Tay and was wondering how you became one of his online carers, like how you met his parents and him? I guess I’m just curious about what it means to be ‘friends’ with him in the sense that it’s not an equal relationship. I guess I’m not sure how you bond with someone in that scenario, or maybe that isn’t the point? Sorry if this isn’t phrased well, English is my second language. thank you

So first off, Tay's been getting some weird sexual asks again lately, so I'm going to be vague so I don't give a predator instructions on how to groom him. This isn't saying you're a predator, just that I don't want to tell people how to get close to someone vulnerable when stalkers are potentially watching.

Basically I started following his blog a long time ago because he had opinions on autism I hadn't heard before and saw people kept trying to parent him and lecture him in the comments when like... that's not their job. So I started commenting things when he'd fight with his sister about how I argued with my siblings when i was his age too, and it really sucked and it was okay to be upset. You know, normal stuff you tell a 14-15 year old when they hate the world and their parents and anyone who looks at them the wrong way because being 15 is the worst. Eventually he followed my blog and I had to get my shit together ASAP because "oh shit a kid is looking up to me. I better be worth looking up to" (Tay literally made me a better person this way)

That time period was uncomfortable for me for a while because he would have emergencies and I couldn't do anything about it because I had no way of contacting his family and I also didn't want him to think it was safe to DM adults on Tumblr because there are a LOT of creeps online. Eventually his mom messaged me to say that she needed help and Tay said I was his best friend, I seemed like i was a good responsible adult, and could she have my email so we can discuss this further? I told her about my physical limitations and that I might need to step back if I can't handle it, but that I'm already online frequently because of them so I'd be happy to help her when I can. (And how it was a huge relief to be able to contact someone when he asked or needed me to) We email and update each other on our lives and I consider her a friend of mine, at the very least a fond penpal. We have very different lives, she's an educated and very dedicated housewife with two autistic kids and I'm a transgender crippled college dropout who contemplates stealing feral ducks from the local pond, but at the core we want the same things and get along really well because of it.

My role with helping Tay is answering more complicated questions in a way that doesn't get him doxxed or hurt, telling his mom when he needs help, and just kind of being there when he needs a friend. What I get out of the relationship is the same things I get out of my other friendships, I get to watch him grow into an amazing person and be there along the way.

When we chat, I always make sure to give him the Tay safe version of things, but if he knows I'm having a bad day he'll try to help me feel better and it's really sweet. The other day, I forgot to hide some petty internet drama from him, so he told me that they were a bad person for making me upset and I shouldn't listen to them. (Which helped get me out of the drama loop yay!) So, while I have to take a lot of care and thought to making sure he's supported and safe and gets the version of events that are appropriate for him, it's not a one sided friendship where I'm only hanging out with him because I have to or something. We were friends before I was a helper because I think he's a good friend.

He's a cool guy who likes to hunt for mushrooms in his yard and hear about nature and how stuff like spinning wool works. I end up taking a lot of photos of stuff throughout the week to show him because he loves hearing about flowers at the farmers market or how I saw a cat in a baby carriage at the pond.

[sammygender]

long post below be warned

i dislike the way in some feminist circles—and in this particular instance, this means a Guardian review of Barbie, so it’s not even a feminist circle, but i see it a lot while hate-stalking radfems and i hear it a lot in conversation—every little fucked up psychological trait people do, if the person talking about it is a woman, is attributed to womanhood. ‘i am a woman and to exist as a woman is horrific under the patriarchy (true!) and therefore i do this messed-up thing (insert statement).’ and when starting to think about this i said this: i do not know if my dislike of this phenomenon is because it’s true, and it makes me feel weird to think about it because i am a trans man, or because it’s not true, and it feels weird that people attribute human things to Women things (or woman-socialised, non-cis-men, anything that woke people use as a buzzword when they mean ‘woman and anyone i see as a woman’) and act like non cis men have some unique capacity for empathy that cis men/men (differing people will have their own opinions on trans men, and obviously the terfs just think it’s afabs, but i’ll go at this from a perspective where i ignore them) don’t have.

or, rather, i said: i’m sure it is true, for some people, that womanhood has been so traumatising for them that they developed defence mechanisms, but i would argue that is a result of trauma that happens to be gendered and not a thing every woman does & not a thing only women do. & i don’t know if i’m being weird and picky and potentially antagonistic in not LOVING this phenomenon, or whether i’m simply aware of gender essentialism. bc it’s not nice to police how people talk about their oppression. but it also just… feels overly simplified.

FOR EXAMPLE. some of this is because i am a trans man, and it’s horrible to think that my intense, cyclical self-awareness of ‘so i’m doing this, but i KNOW i’m doing this, so it’s okay that i’m doing this!’ is because i was raised as a woman. and that starts to feel like it could be true, because i do have experience of being a girl within me, and who am i to say that this complex, a result of constantly feeling Annoying and like the only way to break that cycle of being Annoying is to be Aware of being annoying because somehow that makes it better, ISN’T because of that? when you actually think about it, though, this feels… silly. how in any way is this an experience unique to women? maybe that they are taught to police themselves and their looks and their everything - true. maybe that leads to that experience of needing to be too self aware. and i see how someone could recognise this trait within them and go This must be because i’m a woman but. it’s like very much a trait i can see in men just as much, just as often, and i think we need to hesitate before ascribing experiences precisely to genders and gender roles we inhabit. first time i ever saw this feeling of irony-piled self-awareness properly expressed was in fucking homestuck, the striders, at one point bo burnham’s 2021 special inside articulated it well. when i read homestuck as a transmasculine 13 year old it felt vaguely like a ‘guy experience’, mostly because i wanted it to be. now i often see this voiced as ‘girl-coded’, something every woman experiences, often paired with poems about making sure you’re always aware of how you’re perceived. but it’s the same damn thing, maybe slightly occasionally different, but same thing. gendered socialisation fucks you up, yeah. women get it worse because they’re oppressed, yeah, but the whole concept of gender enforced into a child is traumatic.

anyway one day ill write an essay on this. & fandom reception. stuff like ‘eldest daughter syndrome’, traits that are seen as inherently gendered but just Aren’t always. it’s always a simplified take.

this goes both ways BTW i’m talking about the problem in feminism bc i am a feminist. but it happens everywhere. one of the most glaringly annoying examples is the idea that ‘men can’t express emotions’. like yes, that is true (to an extent) that men are seen often as weak if they cry! it is ALSO true that, historically, women have been legitimately locked in insane asylums for having feelings and wants more complicated than serve husband and make food for child. it is also true that if a woman shows emotion in front of a man, very often she gets easily dismissed as insane or hysterical. arguably this problem is worse for women because women are like actually oppressed.

and it’s interesting because this leads us to a conclusion - that just you can say ‘i repress my emotions because i’m a man and have been punished for expressing them, in a uniquely gendered way’, you can say ‘i repress my emotions because i’m a woman and i have been punished for expressing them, in a uniquely gendered way’. to go with my previous example - you can say ‘i’m ironically self-aware because i’m a guy and not meant to feel emotions genuinely’. true, this is a thing men are taught because they’re men. you can say ‘i’m ironically self-aware because as a woman i’ve always been mocked for being genuine.’ true, this is a thing that happens to women because they’re women.

anyway. until we get past just designating things and experiences as ONLY for certain genders, we will never get free of gendered oppression/misogyny bc it’s innate to this obsession with gender as 2 binary polar opposites. there’s commonalities, yes, but nothing unique about female or male ‘socialisation’ and you don’t necessarily have more in common with someone the same gender as you just as you don’t necessarily have more in common with someone the same race or the same age - you have SOMETHING in common, but not everything. & it’s weird to presume you do

[ssplague]

Chapter 5

Part 4

Rated M

The group had been to Bakugou’s house twice before, and they all agreed on two things; It was big and LOUD. Two things that still held true…Then there was a new addition; Which was you.

Warning (s)⚠️ Abandonment, manipulation, mind games, mental breakdown, “Blind eyed” Bakusquad, hallucinations, manic episodes, toxic relationship, SEX, sprinkles of ddlg (incorrectly portrayed), gas lighting, Yandere, Liquor consumption, mention of past child neglect, some physical/verbal abuse

Happy Valentine’s Day to all of my gorgeous and beloved readers! 💌

📬 Honorable mentions: @angie-1306 @wolfunderthetree @marifujioka @im1nobody @atmyhet@elaineplayz@girlwithnokatsuki@rainstorm22 @bi-polar-pandas @itadakimasu @ss-akii @po3ticb3auty @lizethecookie01 @maggiecc @lordmypantsaresocool @shoslutt @presidentmonica @winchescumberholland

Remember: Leaving only a simple ❤️‍🔥 or 💥 in a comment will get you put on the tag list.

👗 🎒 🍕 🍾 🫂

“You really think this is a good idea man? Bakugou really isn’t the type of guy that likes being around people in general….I can only imagine what he’ll do when we show up at his door unannounced” Kaminari says with a nervous grimace.

“Relax, he’ll probably just yell for a bit and then everything will turn out okay” Kirishima replies, always the optimist.

“I still dunno why I had to come…I hate being the only girl! Y/N’s phone was off when I tried calling her a few minutes ago” Mina whines.

“D’you really think she won’t be around? They are always together” Sero offers a vague attempt at comforting the pink haired girl.

The reason Kirishima organized this sporadic visit to the Bakugou residence was simple; He hasn’t seen his best friend since school let out for break almost a month ago.

Katsuki’s replies to texts are the normal insulting messages the red head has come to expect from his explosive buddy, but he feels like something is off? Or different? The few times the two boys have talked on the phone, the blonde always seemed distracted, as if something else had captured his attention.

Of course Kirishima shared all of his thoughts with their group of friends, and it was no surprise that all of them had no clue what could be happening with their self appointed leader. You were even harder to get ahold of, and if you would actually text anyone back it was either oddly cryptic or overly enthusiastic. Not sounding like the person they’d gotten used to, not anything like you at all.

“Do you think they may have split up again?” Mina asks as they turn onto Katsuki’s street.

Even with the warmth of summer surrounding them, a collective shiver ran through the group at the thought. That break up was all kinds of ugly, and none of them wanted to have to experience that kind of darkness again. The other three thought they saw how bad the situation was, the small glimpse they got was nothing compared to the front row seat Kirishima had to Bakugou’s absolute melt down.

“No No No Shitty hair you don’t get it! She’s just acting up right now…she needs my attention that’s all”

“I‘ll kill anyone that tries to get close to her, y/n’s my girl; She’s my princess, my prize I won fair and square”

“I marked her on the inside, she’s always going to belong to me”

A disgustingly lovesick expression accompanied that last one; Red eyes showed that Bakugou was somewhere far away, hidden inside his ill mind.

Kirishima considers himself to be the manliest of men, and it’s not easy to intimidate him, but the look on Bakugou’s face and the insanity shining through his eyes…

My prize, I won fair and square

He forced the memory into the deepest recesses of his brain, praying that one day he would forget it entirely.

“It’s this one right?”

Mina’s hand gestures directly infront of his face.

“Yeah this is it!” Kirishima put his happy go lucky smile back on as the group approaches the front door.

He leans forward to give the door a few loud wraps with his knuckles.

“Princess, would you go get my post workout shake ready?” Katsuki asks and immediately regretted doing so. You had went down into a full split to properly do your cool down stretch out, and the view of your ass in those spandex was top notch from his angle.

“Of course daddy”

“That’s my good girl”

You joined Katsuki on his morning runs now, and even did some weight lifting with him (what he would allow you to lift anyway). It wasn’t your favorite thing in the world, but he seemed to be in better spirits on those days. When he’s happy your day is better, unless him and Mitsuki get into it…then you try to stay out back with Masaru for as long as your angry lover will allow you too. Sometimes he’ll catch you beforehand and then with a gruff “S’bedtime princess” he drags you upstairs. You don’t usually get to sleep on those nights, and you can barely move around the following morning.

Exiting the bedroom you head up the hallway towards the staircase, only to pause when you hear your name shouted from the opposite side of it.

“Coming!”

You quickly head towards the room with its door slightly ajar and poke your head in to see Mitsuki standing in-front of her vanity mirror.

The lights surrounding the mirror were incredibly bright, so much so you’d had to shade your eyes slightly to get a good look at the older woman. Once you did, you couldn’t think to stop yourself from excitedly spewing out compliments.

“Wow mom! You look amazing! That dress is so pretty, I’ve never seen one like it before!”

Of course she’d taken each one in stride, saying “Well I’d certainly hope not since I was the one who created it!If you had, then someone would be up shit creek without a paddle” then giving you a wink through the mirror.

“I need you to help zip me up sweetheart, that way once Masaru gets back from the car wash, him and I can take off” she explains, gathering up as much of her unruly hair as possible, making sure to hold it up at the base of her skull.

You put the upmost care into your task, making sure to hold the undoubtably expensive fabric taught as you pull the zipper up, “Done!”. You catch a set of vermilion eyes staring you down in the mirror and then you remembered that you hadn’t put another shirt back on after casting your sweaty one aside when you and Katsuki returned from your morning run.

Standing there in your sports bra and spandex shorts; Any other mother would undoubtedly say something about the many hickies and bite marks littering your neck and chest. Luckily (?), for you that Mitsuki isn’t just “any mother”, she knows what you and her dumbass son get up to, and once said dumb ass son reassured her you were on birth control, she brushed it aside.

“Ah I…um-“ you nervously stutter.

“Thank you sweetheart” she says with a smile and you relax almost instantly.

Then a loud knocking sounds from downstairs, “Would you mind going to open the door? My idiot husband tends to forget his keys and somehow manages to lock himself out” she rolls her eyes before turning back towards her mirror. “No problem!” You scurry out of the room and down the staircase.

Already assuming you knew who was on the other side of the door, you opened it without a second thought.

Only to come face to face with Kirishima, Mina, Denki, and Sero.

The four of you stare at each other in surprise.

“H-Hey y/n” your boyfriend’s best friend stutters, face now as red as his hair.

“We aren’t interrupting anything are weeee?” Mina asks, giving you a knowing smile.

That’s when you once again remember your state of undress.

“Ah no it’s not like that! We just got done with our morning workout”

“Morning workout huh?” Of course Denki felt the need to chime in.

Finished with his last rep, Katsuki wonders what the hell is taking you so long? Sticking his head out the door with the intention of yelling down to you, he pauses when he hears…is that Kirishima’s voice? What the fuck!

He takes the stairs two at a time, getting downstairs to see you standing in front of the open door in only your sports bra and spandex shorts.

“The fuck is going on?!”

Katsuki’s hand falls on to your shoulder, gripping it tightly, his yelling in your ear startling you. Taking a step backwards you resemble a deer caught in head lights; You wrap your arms around yourself, nervously shuffling your feet as you stare down at them, refusing to make eye contact with the owner of the palm starting to simmer against the skin of your shoulder.

An awkward situation if ever there was one…

“Oh hey man!” Kirishima quickly interjects “We were nearby, so we just came by to see what was going on with you?”. With the burning stare transferred over towards Kirishima instead, you try to turn and leave.

Only to feel Katsuki’s grip tighten, it’s not visible to the others but he does pull you backwards to mumble; “Go put some fucking clothes on”.

You hurry off to do as he says, trying and failing at swallowing the lump in your throat. The heat the skin on your shoulder is emitting let’s you know it’s at least slightly burnt.

Another mark to cover up.

Katsuki doesn’t want to invite the group inside, but as usual the red head is able to slip through the cracks In his defensive walls, and weasels his way inside the house.

“So uh.. You-“ Kirishima starts, Denki butts in, “Certainly have been occupied, hah Kacchannn?”.

“Maybe we should come back another time?” Mina offers.

“Dunno what fuckin’ difference that would make” Katsuki snarls “Fuckers are gonna bother me no matter when you show up here”.

“She means if we interrupted you and y/n-“ Sero finally speaks up, only to get shut down.

“Interrupted us what? She fuckin’ lives here, she’s always going to be here now” Katsuki hears the blender start up In the kitchen and smiles.

His good girl remembered to do what he asked.

You had purposely pulled one of Katsuki’s hoodies out of the hamper and put it on. The hoodie was long enough to go past your butt, so along with some black boy shorts and thigh highs it could be counted as “lazy day in” attire. Plus he loves seeing you in his clothes, so maybe he won’t punish you for opening the door in just a bra.

Wishful thinking.

Maybe he wouldn’t punish you as bad.

That’s more realistic.

Finished making his post workout shake, you poured it in his cup and washed the blender.

You stopped before exiting the kitchen, drawing in a deep breath through your mouth, then blowing it out of your nostrils, you repeated the process twice more. Then put on your fake smile and entered the living room, as centered as you could be.

“Suki” you say quietly while holding out the cup “Sorry to make you wait”.

He looks you up and down once, twice, and then smirks “Thanks beautiful”.

“Awwww he just thanked her you guys, how sweet” Mina teases.

“Shuddup Racoon eyes or I’ll throw you out” Katsuki growls after taking a swig of his shake “sit down”. He roughly pulls you down beside him on the couch, almost onto his lap.

You hadn’t realized you were still standing.

“Alright I’ll be out in just a minute”

Hanging up her phone, Mitsuki snatches her clutch off the dresser and tosses the device inside. She doesn’t bother taking a last look in the mirror, she knows she looks incredible (even you had told her so). Starting down the steps voices drift up towards her ears, she didn’t remember either one of you mentioning guests were coming.

As soon as the older woman comes into view, a low whistle sounds and her son’s dunce of a friend stands up.

“Mrs.Bakugou it’s so nice to see you again” Kaminari says with a polite bow, following up with; “Might I add, that you look absolutely breath taking”.

“I know that already, and just like I told you last time; I’m years out of your league little boy” she quips, much to the other’s amusement. After they all finish greeting one another, she starts towards the door “Y/N you’re in charge while we’re away, don’t let Katsuki fuck the house up!”.

“I…I won’t mom, have fun!”

The door slams before Katsuki can finish insulting his mother.

“Tch good fuckin’ riddance” Katsuki huffs, wrapping his arm around you.

“So are we going to get an explanation about the bombshell you just dropped on us a few minutes ago or…?” Sero directs this at Bakugou.

“Yeah man, to be honest I’m kind of hurt that neither one of you two updated me on such a big step in your relationship” Kirishima adds, putting on his best hurt expression.

“The fuck are you on about-“

“You just told us that you two are living together! Y/n just called your mother “Mom”!” Mina exclaims “Both those things are a huge deal!”.

Katsuki feels you shift uncomfortably, pressing further into his side, lightly grabbing onto his shirt. The shouting and too personal line of questioning was amping up your anxiety. When your eyes meet his they are glassy enough with unshed tears to clearly display his reflection.

“Some things happened and now she’s staying here, it’s not your business until she decides to share it, and if she doesn’t than fuck off” his tone leaves no room for disagreement, that’s that. You are thankful for his intervention, your friends are great people but you still have yet to process everything that happened to you, it’s all still so fresh.

You barely have adjusted to your new surroundings.

Barely adjusted to your relationship.

“Oh that reminds me!” Denki picks his bag up off the floor, setting it on his lap, “I brought party favors”. A large bottle of liquor and a 2-liter of soda are placed on the coffee table.

“Ooooh it’s not the cheap stuff this time” Mina notes, studying the bottle.

“You fuckers really came over here and thought you were just gonna use my house as a place to get drunk and freeload? Nah fuck all that, GET OUT!”

Katsuki shouts, standing up so abruptly you end up getting knocked side ways on the couch.

“Now Now Bakubro just relax, we won’t break or mess up anything alright? We can order pizza and play video games or even watch that new movie about-“ Kirishima’s attempt to convince him gets interrupted by a loud squeal from Mina as a spark emitting hand swipes towards the bottle “Sero catch!”.

A game of keep away ensues and you watch your friends racing around, hopping over furniture to evade a furious Katsuki.

“Order us Pizza y/n-Chan” Kirishima says with a wink as he tosses you his phone. You do as you were told and continue to sit there awkwardly until Katsuki finally simmers down, “Fuckin’ knock it off before you assholes break something and I have to get my ass chewed out for it”. Celebratory whooping and cheers sounds around the room from the other four;

“So that means we win!”

“I’m thirsty from all that running!”

“Knew you’d give in eventually bro”

“When’s the pizza coming?”

You answered the last question immediately “Thirty minutes”.

“Boo that’s a long time” a collective sigh from the group can be heard as they all stare at the slouched over electric blonde. “Would you go get us some cups pretty girl?” Katsuki asks, bringing your attention back to him (where it should be).

“Y-yes of course” the stuttering came from the intensity of his stare, you were happy to briefly free the room.

This whole situation was uncomfortable and awkward, to you at least.

The group had been to Bakugou’s house twice before, and they all agreed on two things; It was big and LOUD.

Two things that still held true.

Then there was a new addition;

Which is you.

Something was different about you though….

For being four heroes in training it’s kind of pathetic that only Mina picked up on the vague signs that something had happened to you. What that was she was unsure, but it was definitely SOMETHING serious. Her eyes continually lingered on you after you’d come to join them now that you were dressed.

You met her gaze only once.

The small smile you gave her didn’t reach your eyes, and the pinkette did her best to wordlessly express her concerns.

“Later” you’d mouthed so quickly she almost missed it as you pressed yourself even further into Katsuki. Noticing the way he stared at you, Mina quickly feigned checking her phone before that white hot stare was redirected towards her.

You already anticipated the questions she would more than likely ask you, and you came up with both sensible, and blasé enough answers. Only one of the questions you couldn’t come up with an answer for, and it was undoubtedly the simplest one; Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Well are you?

By the average person’s standards you are right? There is breath in your lungs, blood moving through you veins and pushing through your heart.

You aren’t on the streets or alone in that big house anymore.

You could argue that this is the best you have ever been; You finally know you are wanted somewhere.

Every good thing in your life right now is all brought about by one person in particular….

Katsuki.

So what if he makes all your decisions for you? You get to sleep in his nice warm bed, cuddled up with him every night.

It wasn’t necessarily attention you wanted at first, but you’ve come to crave it.

Being alone in the dark, stalked by shadows, haunted by the past…It changed you.

Katsuki ended up making your drink for you once you’d returned with the glasses. It wasn’t a particular booze you enjoyed that was being served, but the continuous whispers of “C’mon baby drink up” followed by “There you go, that’s my good girl” encouraged you.

On your third and final you didn’t even seem to mind Katsuki’s wandering hands under your hoodie or creeping up the inside of your thigh. He had you partially laying across his lap once the movie started, the lights were dim enough that no one noticed what he was doing to you.

“You like them being right here don’t you? What if they knew where my fingers were right now haaaah? Fuckin’ slut…Bet you’d let me fuck you in front of them” he says whilst nibbling on your ear. You only clamp down on his fingers in response. It felt nice to get out of your head for a bit, the liquor stopped the swirling rip tides that were your feelings and in the normally chaotic sea of thoughts. You didn’t feel like you were treading water or drowning anymore, you just floated along.

You were aware the movie had stopped playing so it must have finished, and you knew everyone around you was talking but you couldn’t focus on what they were saying. All you could focus on was the sudden overwhelming feeling of emptiness as two thick fingers slid out of your drooling cunt.

“Suuu-“ you begin to whine and immediately shut up when a hot hand comes down on your mound. The heat was what delivered a sting since the slap wasn’t loud enough to be heard.

A ding came from someone’s phone, followed by a drunken slur sounding somewhat like “uberzere!” You now notice your friends were all packed up and ready to go.

“Wait…hugs!”

That sounded like your voice, wait it was your voice that shouted out.

“Awwwwww” cooed the drunken quartet as they redirected their drunken stumbling towards you, rather than the door.

“Oi get the fuck off of me, Shit faced Shitty hair!” Katsuki snarls, only halfheartedly shoving at the wall like man with an arm draped over his best bud’s shoulders.

“C’mon man this is a group hug! C’mere princess you too!” Kirishima wraps his other arm around you “Now the rest of you!”. Within seconds this group hug turned into a fuckin’ dog pile; The angry blonde was the first to emerge and after getting his lungs filled with fresh air, he realized you were still under there!

“Get off of her you fuckers! I’ll blow you all to hell if she’s hurt! Y/NNNNN!!!”

Everyone (minus you) ended up clumsily running out the door, barreling down the driveway toward their awaiting ride.

“Let’s do this again sometime!” Kirishima shouts, quickly yanking the car door shut to avoid his best friend’s wrath.

Somehow you’d ended up flat on your back on the living room floor, you let out a drunken giggle at the ridiculousness of it all.

Closing your eyes, you allow yourself to soak in this unhinged apathy, running your finger tips down your body to reignite the fire he started.

“What do you think you’re doing haaaah?”

Re-Opening your eyes to see Katsuki frowning down at you, “Why are you still on the floor?”. You aren’t given time to answer as he scoops you up in his arms “Yer sooo strong suuukiiii, sooo powerful and sexy too”.

“Tch you just now noticed all that? Dumbass” he scoffs, but puffs his chest out with pride anyway.

“No I knew it…I’m just happy that you made everything okay again…Yer bad but you keep the bad away….which means yer good…really goooood”

“The fuck you mean I’m bad?”

“You take things that don’t belong to you, touch things you’re told not toooo”

He tossed you on the bed with more force then necessary.

“If you are referring to yourself; You are mine and I’ll touch you whenever I want to, sure weren’t complaining a little bit ago when I was finger fucking you in front of the idiots”

He’s mad.

You aren’t in your right mind.

Ingredients for a disaster.

“Stop acting like a dumb bitch, it’s not cute” he snarls, heading back downstairs to get you both some water and shut the lights off.

“-The incident…couldn’t face myself in the mirror anymore” you finish mumbling as he re-enters the room, dismissing your words as drunken rambling. “Katsuki” you softly call out to him as he approached the bed. Getting a gruff “m’here” in response as he sits down on the bed “Get up princess, you need to drink this”. You squeal as the freezing cold water bottle hits your skin, quickly sitting up and shivering.

“When did you-“ he asks, staring at your bare chest.

“Got too hot” you interrupt, opening the water bottle and swigging it down.

You both sit in silence after finishing your water, it’s not awkward but the air around you seems…heavy?

“So what the fuck was that earlier when you were standing at the door?”

Here we go.

“I had been in your mom’s room helping zip up her dress when the doorbell rang; She thought it was your dad that locked himself out again, so she asked me to let him in, and I did, or thought that’s what I was doing…”

You lay back on the bed, feeling small and vunerable under the harsh stare of red eyes.

“When you saw who it was why didn’t you shut the door or call for me? Just prefer to let everyone see you? Bet they got a good look at all the marks I’ve left on you” such a prideful grin Katsuki has after mentioning that last part.

You didn’t have a response for that.

“Them and everyone else need to know who you belong to, but the question is…Do you know? Haah princess?”.

Of course you know, what kind of dumb question is that? It’s not like you could fucking forget it at this point.

“M’talkin’ to you pretty girl” he grabs your chin and forces you to look up at him.

“You”

“That’s right” he rewards you with a kiss “ I’m gonna take good care of you baby, you won’t ever be neglected like you were by your parents…Gonna give you all my attention and affection 24/7”. You can’t help it, you have to mess with him; “What if someone tries to steal me away? What will you do then?”.

“Oh princess why do you gotta ask stupid shit like that?” He grumbled, tracing the shell of your ear with his tounge “They wouldn’t because anyone who even tries to make a serious pass at you will get their brains spattered across the pavement”.

“Surely I’m not worth killing someone over?” you ask, rolling on your side to face him.

Somehow you were sweltering a few minutes ago, but now goosebumps are starting to cover your arms. Only a thin sheet covers your lower half, your torso exposed to the cool air blowing from the ceiling vents. Instinctively, you cuddle up to the warm mass laying beside you.

“No one takes what belongs to me, and you belong to me, so that means you are worth killing for dumbass” Katsuki corrects you, an immediate pinch to your nipple follows.

“Ow!” You push at his chest, attempting to move back towards your side of the bed.

“Oh what you big baby?” he sneers.

One of his muscular arms was draped across your waist, now he has a healthy handful of your ass. Effectively preventing your escape and groping you meanly.

“Oh and to answer your other dumb ass question” he pauses to pull you back towards him, until your breasts are squished against his pecs “If you ever think you’ll be “stolen” or runaway…”. Crimson eyes are alight with fire as they glare down at you, and you gasp as his grip on your ass becomes painfully tight.

“Just know that you won’t ever be able to hide from me for long princess” you feel his other hand in your hair before he tugs it backwards, exposing the length of your throat “I’ve got your scent burned into my nose and the taste of you seared across my tongue”.

His warm wet tongue licks a stripe up your throat and you gulp nervously as his mouth suctions over your pulse point. The satisfactory groan he lets out as his teeth sink into your flesh rattles your brain and you cry out in pain.

“No one else has ever caught my eye like you did, Nobody was worth putting in effort for me to get to know, except you; You weren’t afraid of me, always ready to give me a hard time, fuckin’ teasing me all the time and leaving my balls blue, I endured all of it though…” he kisses the newest mark he’s left on you “It was all worth it just to have you here with me like this; Living here with me in my parents house, sharing my childhood bed, working out with me every morning and fucking me every night…S’perfect, better than I ever dreamed”.

This is as close to heartfelt as you can get from Katsuki Bakugou, it’s crude and aggressive but his guard is lowered.

He wants to connect with you y/n…

Vulnerable isn’t something he’s used to being…Still, he’s trying hard for YOU.

You aren’t alone.

Someone wants you.

Someone needs you.

Someone LOVES you!

Don’t fuck this up for yourself.

Your hands slide purposefully up his chest and come to rest on both his cheeks. That dazzling smile he loves so much clicks into place, unshed tears shine in your eyes (that bite hurts like hell) it makes him feel especially proud to know that his words have moved you to tears.

“I love you so much Katsuki, please don’t ever leave me…you make my life worth living, even though it’s been such a short time I’d be lost without you”

Put the cherry on top of your bullshit sundae 🍒🍨

“I need you”

These lies just flow seamlessly from between your lips now. Only a few months ago you couldn’t get them out without a nervous stutter or twisted up gut.

Are they really lies anymore y/n?

“I know I’m shit with words so��can I just fuck my feelings into you now?”

“Thought I was in trouble?”

“That’s right you are! Such a good fuckin’ girl! Reminding daddy that he needs to put you over his knee still” his praise lacks condescension, it must be genuine. Sweaty palms paw at your breasts before giving each a soft squeeze, the kisses he places on both of them are feather light.

“My girl…My perfect fuckin’ princess”

It was as if he was stuck like an old record; continuously repeating himself over and over again. The gruff voice that used to make your heart skip a beat, had now become the sound track to your descent into this unfamiliar territory.

Have you fallen down the rabbit hole into insanity?

Or have you really just fallen in love with a beast?

Are you Belle or Alice?

Both scenarios are equally as treacherous, especially once you’ve lost yourself along the way….

“I’m all you have left and you can’t even see it!”

[journalofimprobablethings]

Thinking about Tim and Jon's friendship and what it would have been like if Tim accompanied Jon on his trip to America, and how Tim would have reacted then to the whole "statement dependence thing" and...well my hand slipped and here we are.

[A MOTEL, SOMEWHERE IN AMERICA]

[CLICK]

(Background noise of a distant road, the rattle and cough of an old air conditioning unit. The sound of a door closing.)

TIM Welcome back. Any news from the outside world?

(A shaky sigh, then a short, sudden exclamation from the Archivist. The creak of bed springs as Tim jumps up to steady him.)

TIM Whoa, hey now. Easy there. You all right?

ARCHIVIST (hoarse, a bit strained) Yes. Just...got dizzy is all.

TIM That’s been happening a lot. You sure you’re all right?

ARCHIVIST I’m fine, Tim. Stop fussing. You sound like Martin.

TIM Martin usually has the right of it.

(The Archivist makes a grumpy noise. Tim sighs.)

What’s that? A letter?

ARCHIVIST Yes, um..the man at the...at the front desk had it for us. I don’t...I don’t know how anyone even knows where we are to send us post, but..

TIM We're on the great American road trip to find a dead man who might tell us how to stop a circus from ending the world, and mystery post is what gets you?

ARCHIVIST Fair enough.

(a pause, intake of breath)

It's from Elias.

TIM (immediate) Burn it.

ARCHIVIST What?

TIM You've got that spooky lighter. Burn it and be done.

ARCHIVIST Spooky lighter...?

TIM Come on. The spiderweb one. You always have it on you.

ARCHIVIST (distracted) Mm, yes… I-I think I need to open it.

TIM Why? Who cares what the fuck Elias has to say?

ARCHIVIST I do. I'm sorry, Tim, I don't like it either, but Elias is...the only person right now who I know has some answers.

TIM Yeah, answers he refuses to give you until it's convenient for him. You can't trust him, Jon.

ARCHIVIST I know. I don't trust him. I don't. But I...if he can tell me anything about what's going on... isn't it better to know? 

TIM Fine. Open the damn thing. I can't stop you. Just sit down before you keel over.

(Bed springs squeak again, then tearing paper as the Archivist opens the envelope)

ARCHIVIST It's a statement.

TIM Joy.

ARCHIVIST "To tide you over." H-how does he...?

TIM (a bitter laugh) Right. Of course. Of course it's not just a regular illness. It's something spooky, some creepy eldritch bullshit--

ARCHIVIST Tim--

TIM

How can you be so calm about this? You're away from your regularly scheduled diet of trauma for a few days and you what, start to go into withdrawal? And Elias knew, he knew this would happen, he probably posted that before we even left, that bastard--

ARCHIVIST Tim, please...I need...god, my head.

TIM All right, all right. Sorry. Read it. I'll just... Be over here with my fingers in my ears. Poke me when you're done.

ARCHIVIST Right. R-right. Um...

Statement of Howard Ewing, regarding his interview with an unidentified member of British Transport Police. Original statement given February 1st, 2010. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of hte Magnus Institute, London.

Statement begins….

--

[LATER.]

TIM Done?

ARCHIVIST Yes. Yes, I...

TIM Feeling any better?

ARCHIVIST I...I think so, but I'm just...tired. I'm going to go to bed. 

TIM Jon--

ARCHIVIST Tomorrow, Tim. Please.

TIM Okay, fine. Tomorrow.

[CLICK]

--

[THE NEXT MORNING.]

[CLICK]

(The sound of the door opening and closing, then the slide and rattle of curtains being drawn. An inarticulate groan from Tim at the light.)

ARCHIVIST (his voice much stronger, almost chipper) Good morning.

TIM Nrggh. 

ARCHIVIST They had breakfast out in the lobby. The coffee’s foul, but it might wake you up.

(Tim makes another inarticulate noise He takes a sip of coffee, and the Archivist laughs at his noise of disgust.)

TIM Feeling better, then?

ARCHIVIST Much.

TIM Hmph.

ARCHIVIST Tim…

TIM I know. I know. I'm glad you're feeling better, I am. It's just...I hate this. This whole thing. 

ARCHIVIST I’m not exactly thrilled about it myself.

(Pause for a sip of coffee. The silence is heavy.)

TIM So. Are we going to talk about it?

ARCHIVIST What is there to talk about?

TIM I mean...what does this mean for you? Do you need statements to survive now? What happens if you stop?

ARCHIVIST I don't know. And I don't particularly want to find out. At least not right now.

TIM Really? You're just going to lean into the eldritch bullshit?

ARCHIVIST You saw how I got. Dizzy, vague--sometimes it felt like I could barely string a coherent sentence together. I can't afford to get that bad again, not while we're here.

TIM But there has to be some other way--

ARCHIVIST I don't think there is. If Elias sends more, I have to keep reading them.

(A sigh.)

I don't like it any more than you do.  But I don't think I have a choice. We need to keep going, to follow Gertrude's trail, and I can't do that if I'm ill. Maybe...maybe once we get back, once we stop the Unknowing we can...experiment. But right now, I need my wits about me. We both do.

TIM I just...what happens to you if you keep going? Will you keep becoming more dependent on them? What does that look like? Will the written statements be enough? How do we--

ARCHIVIST

I don't know! (a pause.) I don't know.

TIM It scares me.

ARCHIVIST (softly) I know. It scares me too. I don't want this, Tim. But we don't have a lot of other options.

(A long, long pause.)

TIM Okay. But when we get home, we’re going to figure out a way around this. Elias isn't getting any more of you without a fight.

ARCHIVIST (tired, but smiling) You promise?

TIM I promise.

[CLICK]

[theenderwalker]

re: DSMP "unsolved mysteries"

I've seen lots and lots of posts about the "unsolved mysteries" on the Dream SMP that focus on the TNT on top of the prison and the missing nukes. One of those I am very confident was implied canonically to be Ranboo, and the other I'm confident in my theory that it was him. Putting it under a read more bc its fuckin Long, but its worth the read! Word count: 2482

First: TNT at the prison.

This was implied to be Ranboo across a couple different streams, albiet subtly. I'm not surprised it went a little bit under the radar, but it's simply untrue to say we have no indication of who it could be.

This point doesn't hold true across everything of this nature, and if it did, it would be a dead giveaway, but I think it's relevant here for a couple reasons: Ranboo was online at the time of the explosions. Tommy tends to reflexively open the tab menu during his lore streams, almost as a nervous habit, so we saw multiple times that Ranboo was online, and would seen it have even if Tommy had chat turned off. Online at the time were Sam, Dream, Tommy, Foolish, and Ranboo. Foolish could not have been the culprit, as he was live at the time. In the case of this incident, it would have to be manually triggered by someone. Afterwards, when Tubbo was doing his "interrogations", his first bit of evidence was checking who was online when it happened. For these reasons, I feel this is a valid point for this incident.

That night, Ranboo was live on the SMP. This stream is notable for most people because it was when Ranboo did the odd code in his inventory, that read "He is in control" (or he is in control of me, if you count the to do list). Many people focused on this as a indication that Dream controlled Ranboo to set off the TNT, but this line of thinking was abandoned over time, especially as we saw the implication that the message was actually referring to the Enderwalk, talking about Ranboo stopping himself from doing anything to save Tommy from the prison during that week. However, other details in that stream also hinted it was Ranboo. Most notable to me was Ranboo reading chat or a dono asking him what he had done that day, and him answering that he had "probably gone mining," with some uncertainty. Later that same stream, he went down into his mines , found no ingots in the furnaces, and commented "maybe [he] didn't go mining", and that he wasn't sure what he had done that morning. This comes across to me as an indication that he had a blank spot in his memory that day--that he had been Enderwalking. He drew attention to this here, where he otherwise wouldn't, because it implies he was Enderwalking while he was visibly online, on Tommy's stream, where he would have been able to set off that TNT.

Ranboo was one of the only people on the server with a positive relationship with Dream, of any sort. It is true, especially at this time, that many people had negative opinons of Tommy, but Ranboo was the only one who didn't outright hate Dream... in his Enderwalk state. (with the sole exception of Punz, if you think the vault confrontation was staged, but that's definitely theory territory.) Dream has repeatedly stated that he finds Tommy "fun" and enjoys fucking with him. Tommy was locked in the prison after Ranboo could no longer visit, so assuming he has no supernatural means of communication with Dream (which is likely, as we have no real indication otherwise), he would have been acting without instruction. What better way to help Dream out than getting him his 'plaything' for at least a week?

Alternatively, you could frame it as a distraction or a break in/out attempt... which also doesn't make sense for anyone but Ranboo. Either way you frame it, Ranboo is the only person who makes sense without having to stretch their relationship with Dream into something it isn't.

Tubbo's investigation was the only real in character investigation into this incident we saw. He started out investigating people who were online, which is why I believe it's uniquely relevant to this incident. As I mentioned earlier, Foolish's alibi was that he was live. Ranboo's alibi was that he was mining. If you recall, the day Tommy was locked into the prison, Ranboo acknowledged that he did not know what he had done that afternoon, and that he distinctly had not been mining. This investigation didn't get much further than this because Tubbo refused to acknowledge that Ranboo could have done something like this. Because Ranboo has hidden his enderwalking so well, no one has any reason to believe he would do something to intentionally hurt one of his friends, or to help Dream.

Canonically, there isn't much evidence outside of Ranboo's comments to the audience because the characters absolutely cannot find out that it was Ranboo. He cannot be revealed as a traitor, narratively. Not yet, at least. So all of the evidence has to be directed towards the audience, which leads to it falling into subtext more often than not. The Enderwalk arc has the potential for an absolutely disastrous reveal at some point, where others discover exactly what he has done. It's unlikely that something like this will be confirmed explicitly until that point, but I believe the details I have explored above are foreshadowing, and will be explored again at this reveal. This point applies to the nuke, as well--perhaps even more so for reasons I will explore below.

Second: The missing nuke.

This one treads a little more into theory territory, but I think some of the subtextual implication is in this one too, it's just a bit further apart. Instead of being implied in streams the day of the incident and one week later, these implications are a little bit further out. I don't think I'm necessarily stretching by making these connections, though I can see why someone may think it's a stretch.

Ranboo was not online during this stream. This is why I think that's only conditionally applicable to the last point--Tubbo does not check tab habitually, and he had chat turned off intentionally. The tab list isn't necessarily canon to this stream. If we go by that, Jack Manifold is physically the only person who could have taken the nuke. The only other people online were Philza and Foolish, who were both live. Since this wasn't taken into consideration for the investigations, it's not relevant here.

Out of character, Jack took the nuke. Jack did not stream his perspective of this incident, he hung behind when Tubbo went ahead to start building the silo, and when the two came back together later, it was gone. This was intentionally done, as Jack usually streams his perspective for lore like this. If he had been the one to take the nuke, we likely would already know. His secret plans are not a secret from the audience, they are a secret from other characters--this leads me to think that in character, he did not take the nuke.

Very few people knew about the nukes, so we already start with a pretty small pool of suspects. One of these people was Ranboo. Even if Ranboo did seem to forget what Tubbo told him, the nuke would have been taken while he was Enderwalking--y'know, when he remembers everything, or at least remembers more.

The backbone of this theory, and the reason why I even began to consider it, is that Ranboo has a very solid and clear motivation to want the nuke. Ranboo has been helping Dream. The nukes were made specifically to be a deterrent/protection against Dream. If Ranboo takes one of the nukes, Dream now has access to that nuke, and the playing field has been re-balanced. Essentially, it's creating Mutually Assured Destruction between them. To take it one step further, only one of the nukes went missing. Tubbo was left with one nuke, and Ranboo and Dream have one nuke. Why not just take both? Well, leaving both parties with a nuke essentially ensures neither side will use it. It protects Dream, but it also helps to maintain (a semblance of) peace. Neither side can use their nuke without the other retaliating in kind. This leads to tensions, but prevents outright warfare from either side. It's not pretty, but it aligns with Ranboo's broader goals of keeping the peace.

So we've got the motivation, it makes sense. But that's not enough to make the claim on its own. What's the evidence?

This is a touch convoluted, so I get why it doesn't necessarily come up in relation to this as evidence often, but it's pretty solid to me. Especially compared to how vague most of Ranboo's subtext can get.

It's in the lessons! The highest number of lesson we were given was 94, though when Ranboo was repeating it outloud, he said 93. He later clarified saying 93 was intentional. This stream was on April 23rd. 93 days earlier, to the day, was January 20th--the day Dream was locked in the prison. 93 lessons for 93 days. If we take this to imply the lessons were daily, starting when Dream was locked in the prison, each lesson corresponds to a specific day. March 26th was the day the nuke went missing. 67 days from January 20th is March 27th, the day after the nuke disappeared without a trace. Neither Jack nor Tubbo had any real leads on the nuke. Lesson 67, the day after the nuke was stolen... "Leave no evidence of what you have helped with." This EXACT thing is why the nuke is so hard to pin down. There was no real evidence left. This lesson lining up so closely to the nuke's disappearance is not a coincidence. Further, at this point Ranboo no longer had contact with Dream. He had locked himself out of the prison and couldn't visit. If the lessons are daily, the things he writes down are things he's figured out for himself. The lesson being the day after the nuke was stolen makes sense, when framed like that. He stole the nuke, left no evidence, and wrote that down because it worked.

All of the hints/foreshadowing for the eventual reveal of where the nuke disappeared to has to be done in retrospect, and it has to be either from Ranboo, or from some other source that knows more than the characters. Which leads into my second bit of evidence: the Tubbo Texts. Across like, a week of streams (starting on April Fools Day), spooky half transparency cryptic text appeared on screen periodically, that c!Tubbo was unaware of. Those texts have never been explored in canon, it seems that none of the characters are aware of them or of their contents. So they are posed directly to the audience. The second one in particular stands out to me here:

"Quick, I don't have much time. Stay away from the North. A strange metal weapon washed up. It poisons the nature, the water. No it's not. That's it, we are leaving."

The 'strange metal weapon' seems to refer to the nuke, the poison being the radiation. Geographical direction is rarely paid any mind on the server, but north is distinctly the direction of Techno, Phil, and Ranboo's house. I think I remember Ranboo telling Sam he lives "up north" while trying to visit the prison. The arctic commune is the only notable northward location. The nuke disappeared, and reappeared in the north, in the direction of Ranboo's home. The rest of the texts refer to the north as well. We don't know where Ranboo's base of operations is in the Enderwalk, but we can assume he has at least one, and we can assume the nuke is hidden there, if he has taken it. If Ranboo has taken the nuke, it makes sense for it to be in the North.

Ranboo has proven he can take things without any evidence left behind. Remember his first beacon, that disappeared like, a day after he set it up? He never tracked it down, just replaced it. Within a couple days, he made a comment about his pickaxe durability being suspiciously low... maybe because he was using the stolen beacon to mine far from his home base so it wasn't noticeable that he had been mining. That's beside the point. I mean this to say, he knows how to take and hide things, he knows how to keep secrets, and he almost definitely has at least one secret base we've never seen onscreen.

So maybe Ranboo took the nuke, maybe he set off the TNT at the prison, that's cool, but why have they abandoned the plotlines? Why have we never gotten more explicit answers? Why won't they come back to it?

Ultimately, it seems a lot of these plans have been pushed back and delayed for one reason or another. Beyond that, an untimely reveal of either of these things to other characters would be a huge letdown. The arc seems to be building to a catastrophically large reveal, and each thing that gets revealed before then makes it much less impactful. Keeping it subtle towards the audience, while still offering some hints, stops a certain degree of the chat spoiling "metagaming" we see sometimes, that makes some streamers have to fully ignore their chats during lore streams.

This part is very much my own opinion, but I don't believe the missing nuke plotline will be resurfacing until after Dream is out of prison. Ranboo has no reason to reveal he has it until it will be put to use, either as a nuke or as a threat, and that won't happen til Dream is out of the prison and the nuke is in his hands instead.

The TNT on top of the prison will be an insanely gratifying reveal if it comes out with the rest of the enderwalk stuff. Any of this taken out of that context just kinda falls flat. So people know Ranboo set off the TNT, or know he has the nuke. How does that propel the plot? Ranboo won't do much of anything about it. People will distrust Ranboo, sure, but they won't know the depth of the issue, and that just makes the reveal frustrating. It will be revealed in time, I'm sure, but I think the enderwalk arc has to reach a climax first, or it's just disappointing.

I agree with the general frustration that these plotlines appear to be dropped or greatly delayed, but it's a symptom of a bigger pacing issue than solving either 'mystery' on its own will fix. And the answers aren't as obfuscated as they first may seem, it just takes a little digging!

[golbrocklovely]

remember me // colby brock (pt 2)

A/N: as i mentioned before in a different post, this took me FOREVER to write. i loved writing this story but something about it just made me drag it out for so long. nonetheless, i love this and i'm excited to see what you all think. please lmk what you thought about this. thank you to everyone that has supported me and sent me kind messages. yall are the best ! hope you enjoy :) also lmk if you want another part...

prompt: she's the only one that remembers colby, or so they both thought.

trigger warning: ANGST, heartbreak, AU mention, friendship problems, cursing, happy-ish ending (but not the end...?), kissing

word count: 5526

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Colby was relieved that the waitress, the only one that remembered him, decided to help. The moment she agreed, Colby gave her his number and left. She texted him not too long after, and he realized for a moment she never said her name. He planned to ask her the next day when they decided to meet up at his place.

It was weird to come back to his apartment, knowing that down the hall his best friend, his brother, lived there and didn't know who he was. Usually when Colby felt lonely, he would walk down the hall to Sam's and hang out for a bit. It was always nice to talk to Sam about anything and everything.

But now... he couldn't do that.

Colby tried to sleep during the night, but barely any rest came from it. He tossed and turned, hoping that when he would wake up, this would all just be some weird-ass nightmare.

When his cell phone rang the next morning at 9:34 A.M., it was an unfamiliar ringtone. As he rubbed his eyes awake, he glanced at the caller, the name 'Waitress' appearing on his screen.

I guess this wasn’t a dream after all.

"Yeah?" Colby groaned, squinting his eyes at the sunlight.

Her voice came through cheery, the tone too loud in Colby’s ears. “Let me up to your apartment. I'm here.”

He cleared his throat. “This early?”

“I figured you would want your normal life back as soon as possible, yeah?” She sassed.

He rolled his eyes. “Alright, give me a second. I'll come down and get you.”

Colby stumbled out of bed, running his fingers through his hair as he threw on a random shirt and jeans, slowly trudging down to the lobby of his apartment. She sat on a couch, tapping her foot against the carpeted floors. Her eyes were staring out the door, almost like she was looking at someone. When she heard Colby’s footsteps, her gaze pulled away from outside.

“Did I wake you?” She frowned, grabbing her bag next to her and standing up.

He shook his head. “You can't really be woken up if you barely slept.”

“I'm sorry to hear that.” She lightly bit her lip, following Colby to the elevator.

He shrugged tiredly. “It's okay.”

They both slowly got into the elevator, climbing up to Colby's floor. The loud 'ding' of the elevator broke their silence moments later. They walked to Colby's apartment, and he unlocked his door quickly.

She whistled quietly. “Woah, nice place.”

A half smile spread across Colby’s face. “Thanks.”

“No offense, but how do you pay for this place if you're not a social media person?” She questioned, stepping into the kitchen.

He raised an eyebrow. “That's... a good question. From what my mom told me over the phone yesterday, I worked all throughout high school and college, so maybe it's from that?”

“You only worked at Dairy Queen while you were in high school. You must have gotten a better job in college because there is no way you can afford this place.” She disagreed.

Colby smirked. “How'd you know I worked at Dairy Queen?”

“Well, for starters, my friend told me. And also, I did some research about you. But I'll get to that in a second.” She continued, her voice falling to a serious tone, “So... would you like to hear my theories?”

“Theories?” He puzzled.

“As to why everyone forgot about you.” The waitress explained.

Colby sat down on his barstool, exhaling. “Let's hear it.”

“Okay. For argument sakes, you're gonna have to just go with me on this. Because otherwise, I literally have no way to help you.” She started, already pacing slightly.

He cautioned. “...okay?”

“So last night, I tried to think of a reason why everyone would collectively forget about you. And the only conclusion I could come up with is that you're in an alternative universe.” She hypothesized.

Colby’s eyes widened, bugging out of his head. “A what?”

“An alternative universe. Basically, everything is pretty much the same in your life, except a few minor details,” she revealed. “That’s why you still live in this apartment, but you didn’t get here the same way you did in your other life, your real life.”

“This... it's way too early for this.” He grumbled, astonished.

She sighed, her hands resting on her hips. “The only other option is that this is a very long-winded prank that your friends are still pulling on you. Have you tried talking to any of your other friends besides Sam?”

“No, everyone else’s number is gone in my phone, which I can only assume means they don’t know me either.” Colby retorted. Then he took a deep breath as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “But, this doesn't make sense. How did I end up here if this isn't my life?”

“I’m not sure how you got here, but I think you’re here for a specific reason. I think you’re here to right a wrong that this Colby Brock did. I’m just… not entirely sure what that wrong might be.” She answered, unsure.

He huffed. “Okay… what am I supposed to do then? Stay here and hope we figure that out soon? I don't even know who I am in this universe.”

“And that's where my research comes into play.” She pulled a laptop from her bag quickly, placing it down on the counter and opening it. She scrolled through her browsers until she came across Colby's Facebook, which surprisingly looked active for someone who hadn't been personally on it in years.

I use Facebook? Gross.

“First, I started by seeing if you and Sam were friends on here, but that didn’t amount to much since Sam doesn’t have a Facebook. However, what I found out is that you and Sam did live in the same town, go to the same high school, and played in the same marching band. Sam talked about his early years before he was ‘famous’ in one of the first videos he posted, and I crossed referenced that with your profile and it all matches up.” She informed.

“That's strange,” he mumbled. “What did we do after high school?”

She stated. “You went off to college and majored in Business Management with a minor in Philosophy. You graduated early too.”

Me? Graduating early? I couldn’t even get through math without Sam’s help.

“What did Sam do?” He asked.

The waitress scrolled to another tab, opening it to show a search of Sam. “Well, a very quick Google search shows that he actually went to the same college as you but dropped out once his Vine career started to pick up. Then he went on to Musical.ly when Vine died. He moved out to LA in 2017 and started a YouTube channel after he met Katrina, and slowly met all of his- your, friends that way. He got a bump of followers once he started dating Kat because of her following.”

Colby’s mouth gaped at her words. “That can't be true. He would have never wanted that. I mean, I had to convince him that we should be on social media so that we could spread our message. Plus, he hates those channels that use their relationship for views.”

“Not this version of Sam. Or at least, it doesn't seem like it.” She commented.

He covered his face, groaning into his hands. “What the hell am I here for? What wrong have I done in this universe?”

Her voice low, she replied. “I think it might have to do with Sam.”

“But... he doesn't know me.” He dissented, sitting up.

She nodded. “I thought so too. However, after scrolling through all of your public photos, I found this.”

Colby squinted at the screen, an old photo of him and Sam stared back. They looked super young, probably sophomores in high school. They were both smiling, laughing at something. He vaguely remembered this day.

“So, we did know each other.” He bit his lip softly.

She hummed. “Yeah. And weirdly, it’s the only photo of the two of you on your profile. But it’s not the only strange thing.”

Scrolling to a different tab, she pulled up an old tweet of Sam’s. It read ‘Never thought you would be the one to hurt me. But I guess everyone can be surprising.’

Colby noted the date. “That was back in high school.”

“Yeah, and there’s a bunch like them. He talks about being betrayed and someone hurting him deeply. He never mentions, of course. But his tweets line up with some that you were tweeting at the same time.” She confessed.

The waitress clicked on a different tab and another tweet showed up, one from Colby’s account. He gazed at it, reading the words ‘If you hate me… imagine how I feel about myself.’

Colby’s face dropped. “Wait, what?”

“You don’t tweet that often, but when you do, you talk about righting wrongs and fixing things you fucked up.” She added, “You also hate on yourself a lot.”

He doubted, crossing his arms. “You think they’re connected?”

“I do. I think in this universe you fucked up somehow and hurt Sam. And I think you are here now to fix what the other you did.” She explained.

He ranted. “This is all so fucked! When I saw him yesterday, he acted like he didn’t even know me. How am I supposed to even go about this? What, do I just go down the hall and apologize for something I don’t even remember doing?”

“No. Sam's not in his apartment anyway. I saw him leave while I was waiting for you.” She mentioned nonchalantly.

He grunted. “Great, he could be anywhere in LA right now.”

“I know exactly where he is.” She smirked.

“What? How?” He questioned.

The waitress divulged. “This version of Sam has a favorite restaurant he goes to all the time. A lot of his fans know about it, thus one look through any of his fan accounts and you'll see it. It's called ‘Paradise’.”

“Sounds like a strip club.” Colby deadpanned.

She pouted. “It's not. But he goes there all the time, and I got us a table there last minute.”

“What exactly are we gonna do when we get there?” He crossed his arms.

“I was planning on going up to his table and talking to him, maybe asking him about you, see how he reacts.” She described.

Colby furrowed his brow, confused. “And what about me?”

She slid her laptop into her bag, zipping it up hastily. “Well… I didn’t really think that far ahead. But hopefully, whatever you did is forgivable, and we can just fix it right there.”

He murmured. “That's a lot to hope for.”

“It's better than sitting here and wasting daylight.” She grabbed her stuff and headed for the door. Colby followed suit, grabbing his keys.

He spoke as he locked his door. “What if this doesn’t work?”

She turned back to him. “It will. It has to.”

~~~

Paradise was a themed restaurant, which Colby thought was strange because his Sam never really liked those types of restaurants. The theme was nice, however, tropical and Hawaiian. It felt like something he, Sam, and a few friends would have gone to after a fun, drunk night.

As Colby and the waitress were escorted to their table, they both kept an eye out for Sam, glancing around nervously for the blonde boy.

“I think the worst thing about this universe version of me is how messy my car is,” Colby joked. “It’s like I live out of it.”

She shrugged, smiling. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“You should see my real car. My honey wagon is spotless.” He expressed, waving his hand.

“Honey wagon?” She queried.

“Long story,” he chuckled. Then abruptly, he gasped. “Holy shit, I just realized I never got your name.”

She cocked her head. “What? I never told you?”

He blinked. “No.”

She started. “It's-”

“Hi, I'm Tony, I'll be your server for today. Can I get you something to drink to start you guys off?” Tony greeted, cutting her off.

“Yeah, sure. A water for me.” She blurted out.

Colby added. “Coke, please.”

Tony smiled. “Okay, coming right up.”

Once Tony left, the waitress started scoping out for Sam again, her eyes widening once she saw him.

Her body stiffened, turning back to Colby. “He's over there, three tables down to your left.”

Colby gazed over his shoulder at his friend. Sam looked lost in thought, staring at his phone as he ate his food.

“Why is he alone?” He muttered.

“From some of the blogs I read, he likes to go out and eat by himself. Also, apparently, him and Kat are on the rocks.” She admitted.

“They love each other so much, it's kinda gross to be around them sometimes,” He quipped, but shook his head. “So to hear that...”

“I'm gonna head over.” She announced quickly.

Before he could speak, she left the booth. Colby watched her walk over to Sam, listening closely to their conversation as he ducked his head down.

“Hey... sorry to bother you, but are you Sam Golbach?” She asked sweetly.

“Yeah I am. Did you want something?” Sam stared blankly at her.

“Um, yeah?” She almost scoffed at his tone. “I’m a huge fan and I know this might be a weird question, but do you know someone named Colby Brock?”

Sam’s face remained stoic, but his eyes intensified. “No, I've never heard of that name before.”

“Are you sure, because I'm pretty certain that you and him are best friends.” She insisted.

He raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”

Colby watched nervously as she pulled out her phone and showed Sam the photo. Sam scrunched up his face, his eyes scanning the image. “Yeah, no. Still don’t know who he is. What was his name again?”

“Colby Brock.” She stated.

“...Sorry. I’ve never heard a name like that before.” He mumbled, almost inaudibly. “Sounds stupid anyway.”

She cocked her head. “Wait, what?”

Colby clenched his fist, unable to hear this conversation any longer. He needed to come face-to-face with Sam. He slid out of his seat, walking hastily over to Sam and the waitress. Sam’s eyes narrowed as he gaped at Colby.

“Sam…” Colby started.

Sam growled. “Are you fucking serious, Colby? Did you really have to get one of my fans involved?”

“What?” Colby puzzled.

Sam jumped out of his seat, grabbing Colby’s arm and pulling him out of the restaurant. The waitress followed behind them, confused just as much as Colby. Sam’s feet stopped behind the back door of the building, turning to Colby without warning.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Sam barked.

Colby stepped back, surprised by Sam’s anger. “...Uh, I don’t know what you mean by that.”

Sam scoffed. “Why the fuck are you here? After all this time?”

“So, you do remember me.” Colby remarked.

“Yeah, I do. When you showed up at my place yesterday, it took me a minute to realize it was you, since you decided to dress up like a Hot Topic employee, but yeah, I knew it was you. Are you really gonna pretend in front of her that we don’t know each other?” Sam teared his eyes away from Colby’s, staring at the waitress suddenly. “Let me guess, he hasn’t told you the whole story, right?”

“I guess not.” She shrugged uncomfortably.

Sam chuckled darkly. “Of course not. If he told the whole story, he would have to admit he was an asshole, and God knows he’s not gonna do that.”

“What are you talking about?” Colby panted.

“Do you not remember? Well, I’ll give you a refresher. You and I became friends freshman year of high school. You were my best friend and I was yours. I trusted you. I trusted you with a lot of shit that I’ve never told anyone. Senior year of high school, right before we were about to graduate, right as we were starting a social media career, suddenly you don’t want anything to do with me; which would have been bad enough, but then I go and find out you and my girlfriend were hooking up behind my back,” Sam snapped, catching his breath for a moment. “So yeah, I remember you, Colby.”

Colby’s mouth fell open, his breathing speeding up.

None of this sounds like me. I would never hurt Sam like that.

“And now, you have the fucking audacity to show up when everything in my life is going great and I’m succeeding. I have fans, friends, and a girlfriend that all love and care about me, and you’re here trying to what? Stir up drama? Get some clout from me?” He demanded.

“If your friends and girlfriend love you, why are you eating all alone?” The waitress jeered.

Sam glared at her, biting his tongue. “And you made one of my fans hate me. Dope, dude.”

“Sam, look; I’m sorry for what I did. But that was years ago. I’m not who I was back then.” Colby choked out.

“I don’t care. I don’t want you in my life. Do you not understand what you did to me?” Sam persisted.

“I know I was an asshole, and I apologize for ever hurting you like that. But I miss you, and I want to work things out. Let me prove to you that I’m better.” He trembled, getting closer to Sam.

Sam backed up, blocking Colby. “No. No! You don’t get to miss me. You don’t get to miss a relationship you fucked up. It took me years to trust again. Hell, I’m still going through it. You don’t get to decide whether or not you’re in my life. Not anymore.”

“Sam… please.” Colby whimpered.

“Don’t show up at my place again. Don’t talk to my fans about me. Don’t act like you care about me. Because I’m done,” Sam stared into Colby’s eyes before going back into the restaurant. “I don’t care about you. Fuck off forever and leave me alone.”

Sam’s words punched Colby hard, taking the breath out of him instantly. He caught himself against the wall, his legs turning to gelatin under his weight.

He stuttered. “I… gotta leave. I-I have to…”

“Colby, relax. It’s gonna be okay.” She grabbed his hand.

He shook off her embrace. “What? No it’s not! Did you not hear what he said? Why would he want to be friends with a piece of shit like me?!”

“You were eighteen when this all happened. Give yourself a break.” She argued.

“No. I’m fucking terrible. This version of me is terrible. Of course he doesn’t want to be friends with me! I don’t even want to be me.” His voice quivered with anger, his body racing away from her.

She furrowed her brows, trying to keep up with him. “Where are you going?”

“I just need to leave. I can’t be here right now!” He grunted, his pace picking up.

She called after him, but Colby didn’t care. His heart slammed against his chest over and over again. Tears weld up into his eyes, blurring his vision as he began to run. He wanted to keep running until his legs gave out, until he couldn’t remember all the words Sam had said to him.

It dawned to Colby how much worse this universe was.

He wasn’t just stuck in a universe where Sam didn’t know him.

He was stuck in a universe where Sam didn’t want to know him.

In a universe where Sam didn’t love him.

And he had no way of escaping.

Colby must have blacked out while he ran, somehow maintaining to stay upright, because once his thoughts started to subside, and his body basically gave out under him, he noticed he was in a part of LA he had never been before. Some random neighborhood that was unfamiliar.

He shoved his body up against a metal telephone pole, sliding down to the ground. He tried catching his breath, gulping back breaths as he forced down the nausea overwhelming his senses. He wiped his face with his sleeve, feeling more tears rush down his cheeks.

His throat and chest burned with each sharp inhale. He whimpered into his hands, covering his face from the slowly retreating sun.

He slid his phone out of his pocket once he caught his breath, calling the only number he knew.

“Hey honey. What’s up?” His mom’s voice rang back sweetly.

Colby’s voice was monotone, exhausted. “You know who Sam is, don’t you?”

The line went quiet for a moment, all Colby could hear was her light breath.

“You told me not to talk about him. After you two stopped being friends, you said you never wanted to hear his name again.” She exhaled deeply, “I was taken aback when you asked about him yesterday.”

“He’s out here… in LA.” He responded.

She gasped lightly. “Did you run into him?”

He laughed bitterly. “You could say that.”

“Oh, Colby. I’m so sorry.” His mother consoled.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, mama. I just…” Colby trailed off, unable to explain.

“Why don’t you come home this weekend?” She offered. “I miss you, you know.”

“I would love to. But…” His chest heaved as hot tears drifted down his cheeks. “That’s not my home.”

“Nonsense. You will always have a home here.” She assured him, her voice almost trembling.

He wiped a fallen tear, a broken smile coming to his face. “That’s good to know. I love you.”

She hummed. “I love you too, baby. Call me again soon.”

“I will. Bye.” He uttered breathlessly.

The sky was getting darker and darker, and Colby remained against the phone pole. He didn’t know how much time had passed, but suddenly his phone vibrated, a new message from ‘Waitress’ asking where he was. He sent his location, and she arrived twenty minutes later in his car. He stood up, stumbling to his passenger door. His legs were weak from the sprinting he had just done. As he got in, the cool AC blasted the sweat and tears off his face.

They didn’t speak, a quiet radio station playing in the background the only sound. She drove through the hills of LA, eventually hitting a peak. She parked the car as it overlooked LA, the lights looking like stars on the horizon.

She got out a minute later, walking over to the hood and leaning against it. He could see something in her hand but didn’t recognize it. Colby sat in the car by himself, not able to physically move his body from how exhausted he felt. Eventually, he achingly stepped out of the car, sitting next to her on the hood.

“I’m fucked.” Colby breathed.

She started. “I don’t think-”

“Please don’t try to make me feel better. I know you mean well, but I am fucked,” he rebutted, his voice dark. “I’m stuck here, in this universe, where Sam hates me. And as if that weren’t bad enough, I did terrible things, things I know I would never do to him. How the fuck am I supposed to apologize for those mistakes? I wouldn’t take him back if the roles were reversed.”

“Read this.” The waitress stated, handing him a journal.

He glanced down at the leather-bound book, slightly faded from years of writing. He unclicked the lock and opened it, looking down at the pages. It was his, a journal full of writings he had done.

“Where did you get this?” He inquired.

“You were right about your car being messy. But you’d be surprised what you fine if you just look.” She teased.

Colby read over the words, the first entry catching his eye. It was dated a year after him and Sam had graduated high school.

Sam is succeeding without me. I knew he would. He was always so smart when it came to business decisions. He just hit 10k followers on Vine. That’s crazy!

“What the hell is this?” Colby questioned.

She answered quickly. “This whole journal was you keeping up with Sam without him knowing. This version of you always paid attention to what he was doing, even if you guys were no longer friends.”

“I’m obsessed with Sam? That’s great.” He deadpanned.

“You’re not obsessed with Sam. Read this entry.” She skipped a handful of pages, finally stopping on one and showing it to him.

I hate myself everyday for the hurt I caused Sam. I can’t believe what an idiot I was back when I was 18. We could have gone so far together… but I had to go and fuck it up.

He scowled. “Am I supposed to be sad for myself?”

“Keep reading.” She pushed.

The night I chose to never speak to Sam again, I knew I made the wrong decision. But I had to. Sam was ready to go on and do bigger and better things. I was just gonna hold him back. I was terrified of failing, not only myself, but him. He deserves success. That’s why I had to ignore him. I have never been as smart as him. I would have ruined our chances of doing something great. And I have been proven right by how far he has gone without me.

“You stopped being his friend because you were scared, not because you didn’t care anymore.” She repeated.

He slid off the car, scoffing. “So what if I was scared to fail? Sam didn’t deserve the hurt I caused just because of that. And what about me cheating with his girlfriend?”

She jumped off the car, striding up to Colby. She grabbed the journal from his hand. “You didn’t cheat, look.”

She pointed at the bottom of the page, his eyes following her finger.

“Me and Lexi were never together! I hate her for telling him that. One night, they had a really big fight and she came over to my house to ask what she should do. I told her to break up with him if she really didn’t care anymore. And then she tried to hit on me. I told her off and threatened to tell Sam, but she got to him first. She must have told him her and I were together.” The waitress read aloud.

“Wait, if I never hooked up with his girlfriend, why wouldn’t I tell him that?” Colby hissed.

“I think at that point, you wanted the friendship to be over, and I think this solidified it.” The waitress responded.

“All this time I could have been friends with Sam, but I ruined it because I was scared? What a fucking idiot.” He spat.

“You weren’t an idiot,” She interjected. “You just disliked yourself so much you didn’t think you deserved happiness. At least now you know that this version of you isn’t as terrible as you thought.”

“Even with that being the case, Sam’s never gonna accept my apology. Why should he?” Colby lamented, “I let him down the worst ways. I broke his trust and loyalty.”

She shook her head, stepping towards him. “Give him some time. You might be surprised."

Before Colby could speak, his phone rang. He took his phone out of his pocket and looked at the number. It looked familiar, but he couldn’t place it.

“Hello?” He answered.

“Did you really mean it when you said you were sorry?” Sam spoke, his tone hesitant, but dry.

His breath hitched at the sound of Sam’s voice. “Of course. I never meant to hurt you, Sam.”

Sam paused for a moment, before breathing out. “I’m giving you one more chance. Tomorrow. Come by my place. You apparently know where I live.”

“Yeah,” Colby laughed awkwardly. “I’ll come by. Thank you… Sam.”

“Don’t thank me yet. I’ll see you later.” Sam stated, hanging up.

Once the call ended, Colby’s eyes stared down at his phone widely. He almost couldn’t believe that happened.

He inhaled sharply. “Sam just called me. He wants to meet me tomorrow.”

“That’s great.” Her voice just above a whisper.

“He wants to hear me out… he wants to give me another chance.” His face dropped with confusion. “How did he get my number?”

It hit Colby like a brick as he gazed up at the waitress, who bit her lip hiding her smile. “You…?”

“You weren’t the first person I showed the journal to,” she explained. “When you ran off, I was gonna go after you. As I got in your car, I saw this journal sticking out from under your seat. I read through it and… I knew I had to show Sam. I went back in and talked to him for an hour, showing him how much you were actually sorry. How much you had beat yourself up over hurting him. And then I gave him your number. I wasn’t sure if he was gonna call but-”

“Oh my God, you’re amazing!” Colby ran up to her, grabbing her by the waist and spinning her around. She gripped his shoulders tightly as they spun, laughing loudly into his ear. As her feet touched the ground, he stared into her eyes, his smile the brightest she had ever seen it. His hands glided up her body to her face, cupping her cheeks quickly. He smashed his lips against hers, his heart pounding as he did. Her hands lowered to his chest, her grasp on his shirt tightened as she felt herself lose her footing and back up into the car.

As they stumbled, he realized what he was doing, pulling away quickly. “Shit… I’m sorry. I-I shouldn’t have-”

“No, it’s okay,” She giggled. “I’m just… surprised.”

He exhaled, letting his arms fall away from her body. “Me too.”

They leaned against the car, keeping a slight distance from each other. A light blush rested on both their faces; however, it was hard to see with the setting sun, something they were both grateful for.

The waitress sighed, breaking the moment of silence. “I think I know why this happened. Why I was the only one who remembered you…”

He raised an eyebrow, slightly side-eyeing her. “Really?”

“I lied to you when we first met. I wanted to seem a bit cooler than I am, but I don’t think I can hide that anymore.” She began, nervously.

Colby’s face relaxed a little, surprised at her words. “Okay.”

“My friend didn’t introduce me to you guys… I introduced her… to you.” She confessed.

A soft grin came to his face. “I had a feeling.”

She rolled her eyes. “No, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did! I totally did,” he snickered. “Not every fan knows I worked at Dairy Queen. And… no average fan would have helped me get Sam back the way you did.”

“I think there’s a reason for all of this. I think in your universe, your life… you don’t know me.” Her voice dropped suddenly, making Colby turn to her.

“That’s true, I don’t.” He nodded.

Her eyes met his, a sad glint reflecting in the moonlight. “But I think the reason for that is because… you’re not supposed to.”

“What do you mean?” He replied, his face twisting in confusion.

“I think you and I are only supposed to have met here, in this universe. But not in yours.” She glared up at the sky, “Maybe in some weird way, I’m your guardian or guide or something.”

Colby’s thoughts raced. “So, what you’re saying is-“

“This might be the last time you’ll ever see me. You did what you had to do. You got Sam and you to talk again.” Her voice cracked as she held back tears, “You can go home.”

He grabbed her hands, holding them close to his body. “But… I don’t want to leave if it means I don’t know you.”

A hitched breath fell from her lips, a smile appearing from his words. “If we’re meant to be, we’ll see each other again.”

“That’s not fair.” He shook his head, a deep frown settling on his face.

“I know, but it’s how it has to be.” She whispered.

He rested his forehead against her, breathing deeply. “Can I… get one more kiss?”

She bit her lip softly. “I thought you’d never ask.”

They leaned in, his breath fanning across her lips for a split second before he pulled away.

“Wait…” He shuddered. “I never got your name.”

A soft smile came to her lips. “I’ll tell you after.”

His arms wrapped around her, pressing her body into his as their lips collided. He held onto her for dear life, terrified that the moment he pulled away, she would be gone.

He could feel things around him slow down, almost melting away, but he couldn’t tell if it was from the beauty of their kiss making him dizzy. A whirling silence overcame his senses. A burning sensation sliced through his abdomen; his breath ripped from his lungs.

A heavy darkness overtook his vision and for the briefest of moments, he felt absolutely nothing.

Except her lips.

<< |

[rivalsforlife]

Phoenix Wright: The Truth Reborn: Oh No We’re Doing This Again

hi.

Nearly two months ago, I wrote an essay summarizing and making very wild conclusions about the second Takarazuka Musical. I did this about two and a half years after watching the first Takarazuka musical. As such I did not have the full context for many things from the musical and was relying mostly on my memory, which blocked many things from this musical for my own safety. However, just this week, I decided to rewatch it, because I enjoy tormenting myself. I said I wouldn’t write anything on it. Here I am writing something on it.

Here’s the youtube thumbnail so that you know what you’re getting yourself into. And here, of course, is the link. This is the HD version which may be slightly more pleasant to watch. Maybe.

It was not quite as cringe in a funny way as the second musical to me, and therefore this essay may be less funny, but I feel like I’m doing a disservice to people by providing a summary of the second musical while completely neglecting the first. Quite possibly doing this is even more of a disservice. I just eagerly await the day that the third musical is translated because *that* will be the day that I finally shuffle off this mortal coil. Either way, I want to write this stuff down so that I never have to watch the musical again out of curiosity.

The following essay will contain major spoilers for both the first and second Phoenix Wright Takarazuka musicals, as I will be using many points from this musical to argue my thesis of the second musical. ... like you were going to watch them anyways. 

This one broke 8k. I’m dead inside.

Introducing The Director

Again another disclaimer that I don’t have anything against the actresses or the theatre troupe. I DO have something against Suzuki Kei, who I recently learned is the writer and director of all three of the Ace Attorney Takarazuka musicals, and is quite possibly my mortal nemesis.

This man is the one who brought this monstrosity into the world.

This man, allegedly, cleared the first four ace attorney games *seven times* before sitting down to write these musicals. He played these goddamn games seven times and did not take in a single word. The man clicked through them mindlessly while watching a badly written legal romance drama in the background and got them completely confused. I genuinely have no idea how this man could have played these games more times than even me and yet managed to get so many characters (MAYA!!!!) completely and utterly wrong. This haunts me every day, truly.

This man played Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Justice for All, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Trials and Tribulations, and Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney seven times. SEVEN TIMES EACH!! and was told to create a musical based on the series. He played these games seven times each and you know what he said?? You know what he said?? “This sucks, I’m getting rid of all of Phoenix’s backstory, butchering half the characters, and writing Phoenix/Lana fanfiction, but also rewriting all of Lana’s backstory so that she was Phoenix’s childhood friend, and you know what, I’m changing her name for good measure.”

I think this man played the games seven times each and then hated it so much and was so sick of it he tried to write something that destroyed as much of the series as possible while still being vaguely recognizable. And then somehow it became a massive hit because people like me see this and go “what the actual hell” and watch it, or people who haven’t played the games see this and go “wow what a great musical!” and then he wrote TWO MORE, destroying EVEN MORE every time in his wake, until finally, finally, he stopped after making Edgeworth straight and time traveling into the past to face off against a corrupt Gregory. I guess that was the last straw.

I have to issue a disclaimer here that for legal reasons this is a joke. I don’t actually hate this man and would not punch him in the face if I met him because that would be rude, and he is entitled to his wrong interpretation of the games. I don’t know what his thought process was. But allegedly he did play the games seven times according to the wiki. This whole essay here is satire and not slander and I don’t want to offend this guy if he somehow stumbles across my nonsense tumblr post. At the same time: Suzuki Kei blink twice if you need help.

Anyways half the reason that I’m making this essay is because I want to share my fake ao3 page for this musical. The other half will become apparent later.

Sorry if that’s illegible because of tumblr quality it’s not really important. All you really need to know is that it’s a fake ao3 screenshot for the musical. Also in the author’s note I said he played the games four times but it was actually seven I just remembered wrong because I didn’t want to believe it.

at this point you may be like “Grace shut up and get to the actual musical” and okay, fine, let’s start this nonsense. Also note that I may be referencing things from my essay on the second musical very frequently; I’m not going to force you to go read that though because the fact that you’re reading this is enough of a torment already.

The Musical Begins

Unlike the second musical, this one opens with some narration from Phoenix.

Transcript:

Phoenix: I’m reviewing a particular case at the moment. To me, this case... is one I’ll never forget.

Immediately I think this is important because it establishes that this whole musical takes place in a flashback that Phoenix is reflecting on. Why is this important? Because we know, by the time of the second musical which takes place three years later, Leona is dead.

Knowing that Leona is inherently doomed to die of her Sad Woman Disease paints this whole musical in a different light. It’s not Phoenix reflecting on how he got back together with his lover; it’s Phoenix dwelling on their past together, and the opportunities they had, before her life was so cruelly and inexplicably taken away. We don’t know if Phoenix’s reminiscing takes place before or after Leona’s death... but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was after.

Phoenix, still in the present, starts to sing. “A wave appears on the horizon like a mirage, it trembles, then vanishes. Your voice, carried upon the waves, fades upon the shore, erasing the splendor of the past.”

This line actually shows up in the second musical, sung by Lucia about her imprisoned fiance quite possibly. It’s kind of hard to tell what the meaning of these songs even are. They’re too abstract for me I think. But this line appears very frequently in the first musical when Phoenix is thinking about Leona.

Then we enter the flashback time.

Phoenix inexplicably yells at a newspaper saleswoman. This is not relevant to anything whatsoever. Then Larry barges in to the office, looking for Maya. Phoenix describes him as “A real trouble maker, but you just can’t hate the guy”, the latter part of which I think many people would disagree with. 

Well, afterwards, Maya comes in. Phoenix describes her like this while making exaggerated “can you believe this shit” gestures.

Transcript:

Phoenix: She’s as ditzy as they come. Oh, and about the outfit... Apparently she comes from a family of spirit mediums. Try not to make fun of her, okay?

Suzuki Kei personally has it out for Maya and I can never forgive him for it. Maya in these musicals is here for pure comedic relief but it’s not even comedic because I just get so angry. How can you play the trilogy seven times and think this about her?? The girl who figured out DL-6?? The girl who told Phoenix to sacrifice her life in order to find the truth?? The girl who put on a brave smile in order to try and cheer up her younger cousin even after she saw her own mother murdered right in front of her eyes?? That Maya Fey?? Ditzy as they come??????

Ugh. Moving on.

Maya and Larry run off, leaving Phoenix to watch the American Broadcast.

Important things to note here are the Godot mug, the little line up of what I think are the messed up little ace attorney figurines beneath the screen, and the fact that while this broadcast is supposedly from and to America the screen is actually not at all showing America. Like literally almost everywhere in the world except North and South America.

The broadcast says that Leona Clyde, age 24, was arrested for murdering the senator Robert Cole! Leona Clyde -- that’s Phoenix’s ex-girlfriend! He runs off to the detention center.

She is not happy to see him.

Leona: Mr. Wright... I’m not the woman you once knew.

Let’s Play A Matching Game

Sorry for the abundance of screenshots that are going to be throughout this section. Phoenix convinces Leona to let him defend her. Some of the conversation seems... familiar.

Leona: No one would defend someone who admits to killing a senator. I’m waiting for a court-appointed attorney.

Edgeworth: Every defense attorney I’ve talked to has turned me down.

Phoenix: In that case, let me defend you.

Game Phoenix: Let me defend you.

Leona: Don’t be ridiculous!

Edgeworth: Don’t be ridiculous.

Phoenix: I’ll never accept that you’re a murderer. Let me prove your innocence!

Game Phoenix: Huh? Isn’t it obvious? I’m going to prove that Miles Edgeworth is innocent.

Leona: I’ve already confessed my guilt.

Gumshoe: He confessed that he did it! In court!

Leona: It’s foolish to think you can win this case.

Edgeworth: My case is near hopeless, Wright.

Leona: (in response to phoenix offering to defend her) No you won’t! Don’t ever come here again.

Edgeworth: Look, just go away, and leave me alone!

Phoenix: You of all people should know. Once I decide to do something, I see it through to the end.

Edgeworth: Once you start on something, you always see it through, don’t you?

Leona: I never thought that you’d be representing me.

Phoenix: Ah, who could have guessed this day would come?

Edgeworth: Not me.

Phoenix: You believed in me. You saved me. And this time, I swear... I swear I’ll save you!

Game Phoenix: Edgeworth believed in me, and I believe in him. I’m the only one who knows the real Edgeworth. I’m the only one who can help him.

I could’ve done a few more, but tumblr is already threatening to murder my laptop.

So long story short, Phoenix manages to convince his lover to let him be the defense on the case. Then immediately after swearing to save Leona, he starts singing a song, which I’m not screencapping because this is enough:

“As long as there are people in this world, there’s only one path I will follow! As long as there is love in this world, there’s only one path I will believe in!”

Edgeworth sings this in the second musical after saying that he returned to California because of Phoenix. Phoenix sings it now after swearing to defend Leona. You draw your own conclusions.

And then we finally get the opening credits. Eleven minutes in.

Just Pretend This Is Narumitsu Fanfiction

Following the credits, we see a beautiful beach. Couples (exclusively heterosexual, of course,) dance and embrace in the background for some time, before revealing Phoenix and Leona, in the Even Further Past, before the LSATs or whatever the ace attorney universe’s excuse for law school exams are.

Phoenix establishes his absolute hatred of change, an important characterization moment.

Phoenix: The view here never changes, huh?

Phoenix reminisces on when they were kids. Leona’s parents were both lawyers (they’re both lawyers) and sometimes they would be like lawyers with her when she was a kid. This inspired her to also become a lawyer after their tragic death of Sickness. They never specify what the sickness is that caused two people who must be relatively young to die while Leona was in her early twenties at the latest. It may be whatever sickness claimed Leona’s life later. Sad Woman Disease. (Sad Man Disease for her father, I guess?)

Phoenix also talks about why he’s becoming a lawyer.

Phoenix: Watching you chase your dream inspired me to become a lawyer too.

So, it’s not “my childhood friend looked sad in a newspaper” because I guess that makes no sense or is too gay or something. But this is another important piece of Phoenix characterization. His entire life so far has been focused around Leona. They’ve been friends since they were kids, and then Phoenix decided to become a lawyer solely because Leona was becoming a lawyer. Not even to try and get back into contact with her after she moved away or anything; just because he’s so obsessed with her that he wants to have the same career as her, then they can run a Mom & Pop Law Firm or something, years in the future, after years of happy marriage and a few children or like whatever the hell.

Well, there’s a few steps they’ll need to get to that. At this point Phoenix still hasn’t confessed his feelings for Leona. He does so here, on this beach.

Leona tries to protest.

Leona: But I’m pushy, selfish, and only care about my goals... You’d get fed up with me.

Phoenix: That’s what I’ve always admired about you. That’s who I’ve been chasing all these years. That’s the only person... I love.

Sooo, Phoenix, your type is pushy selfish people who only care about their goals...? In the first, older lower-quality video translation it was “only care about my work”, too. Hm. Things to think about.

They sing a little duet together. Then we go back to present-day of what’s technically still a flashback. Whatever. Murder is happening.

Back To The Murder

So some plot things to establish: Leona is the legal counsel of Governor Miller, who is running for president in the AMERICAN PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION. After the flashback so that Phoenix has some time to change clothes, they show an interview of him talking about the murder.

Governor Miller: I vow to forge a peaceful country with my own two hands, and to prepare myself for whatever may lie ahead.

Reporters: Through thick and thin, he’s a friend of the people!

The Takarazuka musicals are not very good at hiding their killers.

Phoenix: Oh yeah... It’s almost time for the presidential election, isn’t it?

NEVER FORGET, WRIGHT. THIS IS AMERICA. LAND OF THE FREE! god what even was that line.

Anyways, we meet Gumshoe, who is incompetent once again. Maya runs around the crime scene, picks up the murder weapon, puts her fingerprints all over everything, moves things around, all while Phoenix is like “lol get a load of the world’s stupidest girl” or whatever. But who cares about that.

It’s time to get to the only valid part of this musical.

Edgeworth’s Gay Little Villain Solo

You may have seen this one before.

Edgeworth arrives, but not really. It’s like Phoenix heard Edgeworth was prosecuting and immediately entered a dream-like state, where Edgeworth is heralded by the sound of trumpets in Great Revival. He’s played by a different actress than in the other two musicals, since I think she retired in between the six or so months from this musical to the second. She still plays the role well, though, or as well as can be when you’re written in an ace attorney Takarazuka musical.

Shrouded in scarlet solitude... it’s Edgeworth.

Yes, those are six Edgeworths. Yes, they pick Phoenix up and carry him around and dance with him. Yes, it was probably not meant to be at all homoerotic.

He sings a song that’s called “My rule”. I only figured this out later, but it’s loosely based on a “catchphrase” of his in the Japanese version - in game 1 he says something along the lines of “All I can do is get every defendant declared guilty! So I make that my policy.” In DD in his dramatic anime introduction before the trial, he says “I intend to question the defendant with all I have. For that is a part of my creed.” “So I make that my policy” and “For that is a part of my creed”, to my understanding, are both translated from the same line, which I think is like, “sore ga watashi no ruru”, “That is my rule.” (If I’m wrong, please correct me.) In this song he sings about how he’ll reduce all criminals to ash and such, basically talks about his game 1 prosecuting strategy as “my rule”. 

It’s very fun and probably if you want to only watch one number of this musical, it can be this one. It starts about 26:10 in the video I linked.

Once the musical number is done, Phoenix and Edgeworth stare at each other, and the background fades into the courtroom, so court begins. I feel like I should note that Phoenix has not picked up any evidence or talked to any witnesses in this investigation except for Gumshoe, since Maya just moved some things around and then Phoenix had some weird fever dream about Edgeworth which presumably took up the rest of the day.

The Trial, Day 1

Edgeworth: Consider it a prelude to the poignant Greek tragedy that’s about to unfold.

Maya: The real tragedy’s your pompous attitude!

Those are the only screenshots I took of this trial day. Here’s a summary, though:

The trial starts off with Leona confessing, Phoenix says “no I think she’s innocent”, and since ace attorney doesn’t care about the defendant’s wishes he’s allowed to proceed. For some reason Leona lets him do this without complaint. 

Gumshoe is the first witness, he claims to have caught Leona red-handed at the scene of the crime, standing over the corpse. Phoenix tries to claim that since Gumshoe didn’t see Leona committing the crime, he didn’t actually catch her red-handed, to which Edgeworth responds “What do you think being caught red-handed means?” 

Once Gumshoe is dismissed, Lotta takes the stand. She has a photo of the actual moment of the crime, where Leona is holding a knife in the air in front of the victim. 

The Takarazuka musicals like to do this thing where the image is blurry and zoomed out, but then Phoenix will go “I’VE NOTICED A CONTRADICTION” and it zooms in really far as the resolution increases drastically in order to show you the contradiction that is impossible to spot for yourself, because they don’t want people figuring out the mystery in this musical based off of a video game where you have to solve the mystery yourself. Anyways Phoenix zooms in on this photo and sees that there’s blood on Leona’s hand, presumably before she stabbed the victim. How did it get there?

Edgeworth suggests the victim was stabbed multiple times. Phoenix says the autopsy report contradicts that. Edgeworth, uncharacteristically, does not update it to suit his argument. 

Phoenix concludes that this photo is not showing the moment Leona stabbed the victim, but the moment Leona removed the knife! ... Which somehow casts doubt on her having been the one to stab the victim. Because as everyone knows, anyone wanting to kill someone would never remove a knife, it’s not like they’d bleed out faster that way, or anything.

And this whole contradiction is confusing because presumably if the victim was stabbed and then the knife was removed, they’d know that happened, because then the knife would not be found stuck in the victim’s body, since the victim was only stabbed once. So this shouldn’t be news to the prosecution that someone removed the knife after stabbing. But the investigation was headed by the most incompetent version of Gumshoe ever, so. sure. I guess no one knew.

That at least manages to extend the trial another day.

This Totally Has To Be Illegal

After the trial, Phoenix goes to talk to Governor Miller, aka Mr. Totally The Real Killer. Phoenix asks him why he decided to hire Leona as his legal advisor.

Basically, it’s because her parents were both renowned lawyers. Her father was a Chief Prosecutor, and her mother was a defense attorney. ... a prosecutor and a defense attorney couple... who does that remind us of...

Phoenix points out that just because her parents were good lawyers, it doesn’t mean she’d necessarily be one. Miller says that, sure, but she is actually really talented, and her law school marks were spectacular. Phoenix says “WHY WERE YOU LOOKING AT HER LAW SCHOOL MARKS”, like it’s somehow? suspicious? for a government official hiring legal counsel to look at their law school marks?

Apparently it IS suspicious because Governor Miller freaks out and asks if this is an interrogation. Before Phoenix can press much further, he gets a phone call, and leaves Phoenix alone in a big room.

So naturally Phoenix behaves like a fully grown adult running a law firm.

If all he did was sit in the chair, lift up a desk lamp, and poke his finger on a pen, that’s one thing. But then he leans over, OPENS THE GOVERNOR’S DESK DRAWER, and finds a knife that’s just sitting there casually. It looks like a butter knife. It’s not anything major. Maybe the dude just wanted to butter his toast?

I mean I know Phoenix will dig around in stuff whenever in the games, but he has no reason to suspect Governor Miller at all, much less dig through his drawer probably full of confidential government documents to lift up a knife that he thinks is suspicious. It’s not even covered in blood or anything?

Naturally Governor Miller’s assistant comes in just then, and Phoenix puts the knife. in his breast pocket. 

bud. It may look like a butter knife, but putting knives up against your chest is not a great idea. Much less stealing a knife from a governor? 

Well, in his panic, he accidentally knocks over a bunch of books on the desk. The governor’s assistant helps him pick them up, and they find a photo. Look a little familiar?

The photo has the assistant, the victim Robert Cole, Governor Miller, and the victim’s brother who died in an incident two years ago. He’s the “Neil Marshall” of this musical, and he died in what was essentially the SL-9 incident. Same general premise, except it occurred in the courthouse, and the names are different.

AND FINALLY WE REACH THE END OF ACT 1. They do a musical number here which is a weird sort of mashup of the main opening credits song, Edgeworth’s Villain Solo, and the love duet between Phoenix and Leona. They are all such different songs that it sounds a little weird.

ACT 2, FINALLY

The act begins on a sour note with Maya playing with the knife and showing off her characterization, which is one of the most infuriating Maya characterizations you’ll sometimes see around the fandom by people who don’t like Maya.

Maya: Let me whip up my special spirit channeler hamburgers!

sigh.

But then we’re saved (?) by the arrival of EDGEWORTH, who is presumably just here to chat. He asks Phoenix if he’s defending Leona in hopes of winning her back, then says to keep out of it, since it’s a very important case and he can’t understand the gravity of it.

Then Phoenix says this.

Phoenix: Would you be saying that if you were the one on trial? The defendant is in a dark prison, reaching out for hope... Can you imagine the loneliness and sorrow of being ostracized?

CAN YOU IMAGINE IT, EDGEWORTH? CAN YOU IMAGINE IF YOU WERE ON TRIAL AND I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD DEFEND YOU AND BELIEVED IN YOUR INNOCENCE??

Edgeworth responds to this by essentially rehashing his speech in Turnabout Sisters about how he needs to find all defendants guilty because he can’t guarantee their innocence and all that. Maya gets upset and leaves so that Phoenix and Edgeworth can talk about their childhood in private.

Phoenix once again complains about how people change since nine years old.

Phoenix then says that he has something Edgeworth doesn’t: the POWER TO BELIEVE! Then Maya comes in and tries to spike Edgeworth’s coffee, so he leaves.

The Class Trial

Phoenix explains a bit about Edgeworth and his backstory to Maya. Namely, the class trial. Phoenix was accused of stealing lunch money, Edgeworth stood up for him, but instead of Larry, Leona stood up for him. I guess Suzuki Kei thought “oh the class trial, if Leona stood up for him, it would be so romantic, because she’s a woman, and he’s a man”, or something like that. 

Edgeworth wanted to become a Great Lawyer Like His Father! But then he turned cold as ice.

Phoenix: His father got too deeply involved in a case... and paid for it with his life. Edgeworth saw him murdered. He was never the same again. I bet he couldn’t forgive the criminal.

Yeah I bet he couldn’t ever forgive the person he thought killed his father all these years, Phoenix. I bet he really hates that person, Phoenix. I bet he has nightmares about that person killing his father or something, Phoenix.

Phoenix: He vanished, then returned without his mercy or compassion. He had become a monster. When he lost his father, he also lost the ability to believe in others.

So like... one of the most chilling things about this musical is that they never actually solve DL-6. This probably roughly takes place 15 years after DL-6, since they were about the same age when the class trial started, and at least Leona is 24 now. The next musical takes place three years from now, and in it, Edgeworth refers to von Karma as his mentor, implying he’s still around and doing things.

So, in addition to everything else going wrong with this musical, DL-6 still happens, but von Karma never frames Edgeworth for it fifteen years later. The statute of limitations runs out, and von Karma forever gets away with his crime. And Edgeworth has no idea.

What changes did they make to DL-6, though, you may ask? I’m desperate to know as well. In the third musical, which I’ve watched because I hate myself but am unable to fully understand because I don’t know much Japanese, there is a scene where Miles flashbacks to DL-6. It’s abstract, but he makes gun-throwing motions at Gregory, followed by a gunshot sound.

Therefore, in this musical’s internal canon, either Miles Edgeworth shot his father, or he believes he did for the rest of his life.

... moving on.

Phoenix: But he still has his humanity. It’s still there, deep down inside!

At least, if nothing else, Phoenix still believes in him. Even this Takarazuka Musical couldn’t touch that.

The Feenie Sweater

Right after this, Larry barges in, and Phoenix leaves him alone with Maya. The musical tries teasing Larry/Maya, but fortunately, Maya’s having none of it.

Maya: You’re barking up the wrong tree.

Props to this musical for not being as bad as it could have been.

After this, the two sit down on the couch, and Maya asks for more gossip on Phoenix and Leona. Larry launches into a story, which turns into a flashback that ends up being narrated by Phoenix halfway through. This one’s about Phoenix and Leona’s relationship.

This is an interesting line in here, “I’ll guide you to the future”, for it loosely referencing the sort of love ballad Phoenix sings with Lucia in the second musical which is about “I’ll take you to that radiant future”, and he later sings to the memory of Leona right around the time of his big spiral into despair.

I’m sorry if you haven’t read my other essay and just said “wait what” to what I just typed.

Leona was getting ready to move to New York to defend the weak “in the big city”. This is rather strange wording because it implies that California does not in fact have a big city. She says some things in her conversation with Phoenix that probably plant some of his later issues.

Leona: This is the first time we’ll be apart since we were kids.

Leona: We promised we’d always be together.

Leona: I’ll be waiting. Waiting for you to come to me.

Haha. Sure would be a shame... if something were to happen... and they wouldn’t be able to be together anymore...

So some dancers wearing black come in and take off their outer jackets, to symbolize the passage of time. They circle around Phoenix and Leona. In this, you can just barely see, Phoenix is wearing a pink sweater beneath his jacket.

“Oh,” I think to myself, “Is that the Feenie sweater? Are they including it here as a reference to the games?”

Then the dancers keep moving.

THAT IS NOT THE FEENIE SWEATER. That is a pink sweater with a sexily drawn woman on it.

This is the other half of the reason why I decided to go through with making this essay. 

This is so incredibly funny to me. Suzuki Kei Who Has Played The Games Seven Times has seen the hand-knit bright pink sweater with a giant red heart on it seven times. The sweater Iris, Phoenix’s girlfriend, lovingly knit for him that he wears all the time even though it is one of the tackiest, cheesiest items of clothing to ever exist. And so, when the costume designers were designing the clothes for College Phoenix Wright, they asked themselves: “Should we include the Feenie sweater?”

and “NO,” someone must have shouted, “NO, we can NOT include the Feenie sweater, it is PINK and it has a HEART on it and it’s TOO GIRLY. Phoenix Wright is a MANLY MAN. He would not EVER wear something PINK with a HEART on it.”

“BUT,” someone else said, “it’s a REFERENCE to the original games, where he DID wear a pink sweater with a heart on it! We MUST include it to pander to the fans!”

“WAIT,” a third person interjected. “I have a BRILLIANT IDEA. We can keep the pink... But to make it VERY CLEAR he is a heterosexual, masculine male... we put a sexy woman on it.”

And Person Three Got A Raise.

Thank god we’re finally halfway done this musical.

We Just Have To Go On With Our Lives Now

There’s plot or something happening. Leona breaks up with Phoenix inexplicably over the phone. Probably because of that freaking sweater. Imagine wearing that. God.

Eventually we go back to Phoenix talking to Leona, and he asks about the Jack Lyon case, which is the rip-off version of the Joe Darke case. Leona is pretty cagey about it, but Phoenix proves that she was there in the gallery that day. Leona refuses to answer, claims again that she killed the victim in her case, and leaves.

This makes Phoenix sad, so he starts singing.

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

If this sounds familiar, it’s the part where I started absolutely losing my mind in the second musical because this line had never shown up before then, I’d forgotten it was in this musical, and Phoenix was screaming it alone in a red room, so I thought he was like desperately resorting to a necromancy ritual in hopes of bringing Leona back to life.

Instead, this line actually has CONTEXT, though it does just end up enforcing my theory. This is Phoenix mourning what he used to have with Leona, wanting to bring the “old her” back, because he’s devastated that people sometimes change. There are several flashbacks of their college days where he’s wearing his Sexy Woman Sweater. He does succeed in winning her back at the end of this musical. Before she dies, of course.

Phoenix in musical 2 still believes that he can bring back what he used to have with Leona... even beyond death. That’s something affirmed by this musical. I’m very grateful to it for somehow managing to enforce my nonsensical theory.

Doctor Ema

After this, Phoenix returns to his office, and meets with someone new.

That’s right! Only now, halfway through the musical, do we actually get to meet the Ema-equivalent to Leona’s Lana-equivalent. Her name is Monica Clyde. She has little rainbow heart stickers on her briefcase, which is the closest thing this musical has to acknowledging that gay people exist.

But what does this little briefcase contain, you may ask? Scientific investigation tools? No.

A full surgical toolset. Because you never know when someone’ll get sick, or when someone will need an entire operation in front of you. I guess.

So yes, Monica Clyde is not a forensic scientist in training, but a doctor! She decided to become a doctor because of her parents, who passed away of The Sickness, and so became a doctor in order to save lives like theirs.

Once more this has much darker and deeper implications than the musical is even aware of, because Monica is so anxious about treating sick people that she carries a full surgical toolset around with her at all times, scared to lose someone like she lost her parents... and then sometime in the next three years, Leona, her big sister, is going to die.

Of what? The strange Sickness that claimed her parents? A car accident? A botched spur-of-the-moment surgery? Whatever it is, Monica was unable to save her, even when she’d been training her entire life for it.

Monica is not mentioned at all throughout the second musical. It’s as if she does not exist.

Because unlike Ema of Rise From The Ashes, Monica is not at the heart of this story. She is, primarily, a plot device here to make Leona not trust Phoenix so that he can angst about their relationship. 

What a mess this world is.

The Trial, Part 2

Rather than try to prove Leona’s innocence, Phoenix wants to link the current case to not-SL-9, the Jack Lyon case. He does this by showing this picture.

Senator Cole, the victim, is in this picture. His younger brother whose name I’ve forgotten, the victim of not-SL-9, is also in this picture. They are brothers. It is apparently novel that they are in the same picture, and somehow makes their cases linked.

As well, Governor Miller is in the picture. I guess you could say like... Governor Miller’s legal counsel is the defendant, so that’s another link? Even though the Governor would presumably know a Senator, so this isn’t an unusual group. Right now Phoenix has absolutely nothing to prove that these two cases are linked other than “hey, these two victims are brothers”, but apparently it works. So they spend a lot of time talking about not-SL-9, since Leona has confessed to the murder on day 1 and there is absolutely nothing indicating that she can’t be immediately declared guilty.

They hid the fact that Monica was a hostage in this not-SL-9, meaning that some of the case records were forged. Here’s Edgeworth’s reaction when this comes out.

Edgeworth: This is an outrage! I’m the most influential prosecutor in America! There’s nothing I don’t know!

In RFTA, when Edgeworth learns he’d been using forged evidence to give a man the death penalty, he is devastated, his entire worldview is shaken, he sees himself as a monster who could end up becoming horribly corrupt if he isn’t stopped.

Musical Edgeworth goes “I DIDN’T KNOW SOMETHING???”

It’s certainly strange characterization, but I guess Edgeworth is further behind in his character arc than in RFTA, so... ugh. Fine. 

Phoenix calls Monica out as a witness to prove she was involved in the case. This causes Leona to panic, and try to dismiss Phoenix as her attorney, like Lana in RFTA, but Edgeworth interjects to call Monica in anyways. He and Phoenix have a little moment.

Edgeworth: You said to believe in others. I suppose I’ll try believing in you. Try to keep up.

Phoenix: Edgeworth!

So Monica comes to the stand to testify. We get to see this picture of Monica being held hostage, and not-Joe-Darke’s incredible eyeliner.

Lots of it is very similar to the actual RFTA, except instead of the victim being stabbed on the knight with the giant knife, he’s instead stabbed with a regular old knife. Leona still refuses to admit to what really happened, until Edgeworth convinces her to believe in Phoenix.

Edgeworth: Your attorney is a runaway train with a one-track mind. Yet he placed all of his faith in you. Believe in him. You owe him that much.

Leona testifies, and says that when she found the victim, he was stabbed with a scalpel.

Here is where things get weird.

Scalpels Can’t Kill People

So basically earlier in this trial, they talk about how Leona knew that the knife that stabbed the victim was double-edged despite being buried in his chest. The judge questions if this means Leona killed him, but Phoenix is quick to say no, she was searched when she entered the courthouse and couldn’t have concealed a knife.

Yet, Monica was able to bring in her surgical toolkit which contains several sharp knives, scalpels, scissors, etc.

This is the first major contradiction.

Leona continues to say that when she found Monica, and the scalpel stabbed in the victim, she also ran into Governor Miller, who if you haven’t been able to tell yet is the Gant-equivalent of this musical. He offered to help her with the cover-up, etc.

The next bit goes a lot like RFTA. Phoenix accuses Governor Miller, who barges in, says Phoenix has the decisive evidence in his pocket. This is the “butter knife” that Phoenix took from his office when he dug around in confidential documents and stole it for no particular reason. It has Monica’s fingerprints on it! ... And Phoenix’s and Maya’s too probably because they were handling it without gloves, but they don’t mention that part.

Leona cries about how she shouldn’t have trusted Phoenix because he was apparently now blaming Monica, Monica looks terrified, she and Leona have some good sister moments but it’s not as good as it could be if the story was actually about Leona and Monica like how RFTA was about Lana and Ema. But Phoenix has the decisive piece of evidence that can turn this around.

It is this:

Phoenix: Scalpels are made for medical incisions, not stabbings. So how did it stab the victim?

...

...

...

... What?

So like. Yes, scalpels are made for medical incisions. Medical incisions often involve cutting through flesh, very easily. As a result, they are sharp. Extremely sharp. As in: their purpose is literally to stab people, very specifically.

Yes, they’re easier to control, so that surgeons don’t regularly stab people how they’re not supposed to be stabbed, but it’s not like, impossible to stab someone in a killing way with a scalpel? Admittedly, I have never tried to kill someone using a scalpel. And I do not have experience using a scalpel for surgeries because I am not a surgeon. But I’m pretty sure, if you take a sharp scalpel, and you stab someone in the chest with it with a reasonable amount of force... they die.

Like, is this a particular kind of scalpel that is not very sharp? Is the problem that the blade doesn’t match up with the initial wound? But even then, we don’t have the original unforged autopsy report or even a picture, so how would Phoenix know what the original wound looked like to say it didn’t match up? And even then why wouldn’t Phoenix say that instead of SCALPELS CAN’T STAB PEOPLE???

This is his decisive contradiction and it makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE TO ME!!!

Well Darn I Guess Scalpels Can’t Kill People

This is such a decisive piece of evidence, that scalpels can’t kill people, coming from the man who thought “caught red-handed” does not involve being caught standing over a corpse with blood on your hands, that it causes Governor Miller to confess.

Unlike Gant, who created the murder with Neil Marshall both to ensure that there was decisive evidence to convict Joe Darke, a serial killer who had not left any decisive evidence behind, and gain control over the prosecutor’s office in order to pull similar stunts to get criminals convicted using false evidence, Governor Miller does not have that as his motive. After all, he’s not a police officer. Instead, he ended up accidentally killing not-Joe-Darke, and then set up the incident in order to get Leona on his side. As her parents were both influential lawyers and very respectable, having her and her parents’ reputation on his side could help him become President of America Where This Takes Place.

So, let’s just take a moment to run over some of the things that made the original Rise From The Ashes great, in my opinion. Just for fun.

1 - The heart of the story between the Skye sisters. Lana closing off to protect Ema, Ema wanting to get through to her sister and get back to the way things used to be. Phoenix, in this story, is more of a bystander to this plotline rather than in the heart of it himself.

2 - Edgeworth’s Character Development. Basically RFTA creates an interesting transition between Turnabout Goodbyes and JFA. It causes Edgeworth to re-evaluate everything he knows about being a prosecutor. So quickly on the heels of Turnabout Goodbyes, it crushes the last bit of hope in him. It compares him to Gant, who also hates criminals, and forces him to wonder if his hatred of crime will one day lead to him being a criminal himself. He’s already convicted one person on forged evidence; how many others could there be?

3 - The Ends Justify The Means. ... wait come back, don’t leave. What I found neat about this case was also Gant’s motive. At one point he was presumably an honest person who hated crime and wanted to stop criminals. But over time in the police force, he became corrupted. He wanted to have all criminals convicted. So what do you do when you don’t have the evidence to convict them? Joe Darke was a serial killer who has killed several people and may have killed more if he’d gone free. The only way to stop and convict him was by using forged evidence. Other criminals could hide evidence to get away with their crimes, so people like Gant would make it up to catch them; but then when do you stop? What happens if there’s no evidence because someone is truly innocent? When does the line between “this person is a criminal and I want to stop them” and “I just want to convict everyone I’m dealing with” become blurred? This is also something he shares with Edgeworth and helps to advance his character.

All three of these things are either lessened or outright ignored in this musical. Leona and Monica’s story takes a backseat to Phoenix and Leona’s Love Story, with Monica only showing up halfway through, and mainly as an excuse as to why Leona is withdrawn. Edgeworth doesn’t seem to blame himself for the forged evidence he used, and doesn’t have a crisis questioning his morality over it. And Governor Miller’s motive is purely power. Unlike Gant, who would have become Chief of Police whether he solved SL-9 or not, Miller needed Leona to win the presidency. And instead of asking her to help him with his campaign like a normal person, he just blackmailed her instead.

... How do you play the games seven times and miss this much?

The Case Finally Ends

god. we’re almost there.

The case ends, Leona is declared not guilty but will still face trial for covering up murders and such. Probably less of a sentence than Lana because she was not involved in ongoing police corruption? Either way she’s dead in three years, so she’s got something a bit more concerning coming up.

She’s led away. Phoenix sings a bit about Leona before being interrupted by Edgeworth... who has something important to tell him.

Edgeworth: You awakened within me those once-cherished emotions I had discarded. I see visions of a distant, nostalgic past.

So basically this is the unnecessary feelings of the musical. Something along the lines of “seeing you again and fighting for my former ideals is making me question many things about myself.”

How does Phoenix respond?

Phoenix: Edgeworth... Try talking normally for a chance.

Sure, we were all thinking it, but that’s a little cold, Phoenix.

Edgeworth tries a smooth recovery.

Edgeworth: I don’t do... idle chit-chat.

This doesn’t accomplish much. So he leaves to allow Leona to visit with Phoenix alone. He’s got to go change for something more important coming up.

Leona and Phoenix decide that they’re going to get back together once Leona is done her sentence! They make a promise that is very funny if you know she’ll be dead in three years.

Phoenix: I’ll be waiting. For you.

There are a lot of hugs here, I’m not screencapping them all. There are also several moments where their faces get very close together and like, their nose brushes the other’s cheek or something, but they never actually kiss. Is it because the actresses weren’t comfortable with it (valid), or they thought kissing would be too much for the musical (sure, whatever), or since both characters are played by women the show staff did not want two women kissing on stage (probably the real answer)? I don’t like watching kisses, but I kept bracing myself for one and then it never happened, so.

Phoenix ends the main part of the musical with one last musical number starring my personal favourite piece:

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

I like to think that at this point, this is present-day Phoenix, after finishing his reminiscing, still desperately wishing he could bring Leona back from death.

But alas, he cannot. And so, after one last daydream of them dancing together on the beaches of California, singing about their love, the musical ends.

Dance Time!

This starts at exactly the two hour mark, if you’re interested in watching what is, once again, one of the only fun parts of this musical.

Seriously, Edgeworth’s actress kills it here, when I first saw this I went “oh, this is why I saw so many people being gay for her on twitter.”

Edgeworth’s song is an encore of “My Rule”, so it’s lots of fun. Afterwards Phoenix gets another fun piece.

Then we get to the love ballad part, which I can probably overanalyze, I feel like I haven’t done enough ridiculous over-analyzing in this essay in comparison to the other.

Uhhh so the fog represents how Phoenix feels lost in this world without Leona. You can see it in the second screenshot separating the two of them, representing the barrier of death between the two of them. Idk it’s midnight I’m getting worn out from having to think about this musical for so long.

But his mourning over Leona’s death becomes even more apparent in the credits, where Phoenix sings that one line again:

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

I’m not fixing that screenshot, I think it’s oddly fitting, in a way. That’s me right now.

Then at the very end, he sings this song.

Phoenix: I’ll spend... this eternal life... soaring through... the heavens!

Technically, this refers to his name Phoenix, but let’s dig a little deeper. He spends the rest of his life soaring through the heavens... the heavens that Leona went to after her untimely death, perhaps?

Overall, the musical becomes much more interesting when you just see it as a prequel to the second musical. This musical establishes many core concepts of Phoenix’s character: his refusal to believe in the concept of things changing, for one, and also his extreme dependency on Leona who he was never separated from since they were kids and where he based his entire life around her dreams and ideals. All he can think about is her. And in the end, he promises to wait for her in California.

Yet, to paraphrase Miles Edgeworth, all that is waiting for him is her death. Their dream of opening up a Mom & Pop Law Firm will never come true.

Thanks again for bearing with me even though this wasn’t as funny!