#this is… so dumb

[alittlebitofwonk]

Etho is familiar with the weird rules that come with being a server admin. He’s known Xisuma long enough to know that being an admin comes with perks, but also sometimes just… weird shit. He doesn’t pretend to get all of it, but he knows enough.

So, when the admin of a completely different server suddenly drops into spawn, fighting with his com and cursing up a storm, Etho isn’t really that surprised.

What does surprise him is that the admin is… handsome. Really handsome. And also vaguely familiar, though Etho really only knows him through association. When you create one of the largest multinational, multilingual servers of all time, you gain a reputation.

“You alright?” Etho asks as Quackity (he’s pretty sure that’s his name) picks himself up, still muttering profanities as he dusts himself off.

“Yeah, just fine and dandy, if it weren’t for the fucking Hypixal transport fucking sending me to the wrong server again,” Quackity mutters, before pausing and sighing. “I’m… sorry. It’s been a long day.”

“Getting tossed into the wrong server must be jarring,” Etho says, sympathetic. It’s mostly admins that get that particular shaft, but it’s happened to him once, and it was… very confusing. “You’re an admin for the QSMP, right?”

Quackity looks up from his com, clearly trying to figure out where he is, and nods, smirking slightly. “I’m THE admin for the QSMP. The server has my name on it, after all.”

“I thought you were Quackity,” Etho mutters, watching as Quackity types a quick message, probably to Xisuma, before slipping the com away.

Quackity grins at him, leaning forward so he’s on the balls of his feet, honeyed wings keeping his balance, “Well, since you know me it would be a shame not to get myself acquainted with such a handsome man.”

It startles a laugh out of Etho, especially considering he was just thinking about how attractive the avian was. “Etho,” he says, awkwardly sticking out his hand, “Welcome to Hermitcraft!”

Quackity visibly relaxes as he shakes Etho’s hand. “Thank God this is Hermitcraft. I could’ve ended up somewhere so much worse.”

“You’re thinking 2b2t, I’m guessing.”

“Or any other anarchy server, they eat admins for breakfast,” Quackity says, repressing a shudder, and for the first time, Etho realizes his wings are clipped. Which is really odd, given that he’s, y’know, an admin. Maybe he clips them himself?

“Well, you’re in safe hands here,” Etho promises, and Quackity raises his eyebrow and smirks. “That’s not what I—“

“I mean, I’d hold your hand if you want,” Quackity says, and then laughs when Etho turns about five different shades of red in two seconds.

It's only then that Etho notices that it's beginning to get dark, the sun inching towards the horizon, and they're still at spawn. He gets the feeling that Quackity isn't going to be finding his way back anytime soon, so he turns to the admin and asks, "do you want to come back to my base with me?" Just as Quackity begins to snicker, something witty already on the tip of his tongue, Etho adds, "before it gets dark! To, uh, get away from the mobs. I have a spare bed."

"Damn, and here I was thinking I might bet to slip into yours," Quackity says, and damn he's smooth. Etho feels like an idiot with all his stammering and blushing, but Quackity doesn't seem to mind in the slightest. "Lead the way."

[hamletthedane]

I just found the earliest email I ever sent from my email address, and it’s the funniest goddamn thing I can possibly imagine a fourth grader sending her teacher:

(Context - my fourth grade teacher was on maternity leave, and the class had conferenced at recess regarding the poor state of the classroom goldfish’s tank. We decided to inform our (24yo, new mother) former teacher of the dire situation, and I was selected as the duly appointed representative for this solemn communication.)

[katelynduval]

Wanted: Your face in my 😻

would u lick me...?🥺

[mochidoodle]

saw some debate over the english title translation of dungeon meshi and I am here to offer you this alternative

[sidhewrites]

Being kink positive makes it really hard to be a hater of media rip. I used to love watching “the WORST book I’ve read this year” booktube videos but now its like I hear them ask, “Who is this werewolf smut even for?” Omegaverse fans, next question. “Why would you write this?” Because they find it sexy, can we stop focusing on the ewie yucky kink part and focus on the fact that the author used the word knot five times in a single scene? It’s bad werewolf erotica, but it’s not bad because it’s werewolf erotica like come on

[paintedcrows]

Revelations - Little peek at a longer continuation to my Stan & Bill accidental internet buddies comic!

After the reveal, Stan initially doesn't want to tell Ford his (former) internet best friend was Bill Cipher, because he doesn't want him to worry. Stan later doesn't want to tell Ford because he (and Bill) would rather die.

[notyourregslut]

Who’s down for fun🤭🍆💦🍑

Meetups 🍑💦

Massage🍑💦

Face time 🍑💦

Sexting 🍑💦

Custom videos 🍑💦

Dm me for me: Zangi

Session

Telegram

[mr-malumm]

Caught spying on his hate boyfriend

[artsymeeshee]

Don’t know why I wanted to draw this dumb, silly idea but here we are lol

[tyanis]

Kinda feel like there's some untapped meme/reaction image potential from old horror movie trailers...

[ruushes]

sleeping arrangements (not sure tara would ever actually deign to sleep in the same 20ft radius as shovel but who can resist those big shiny insectoid black eyes 🥺)

plus:

[stellalights]

turnabout sisters edition of this meme

[nerd-izzy-art]

Revelations

[arctvros]

so these are our only two options? we’re cooked

[collaredkittyboy]

[2facehusband]

“you talk about blowjobs a lot” yeah cause like imagine cock in your mouth. down your throat. someone murmuring good boy, that’s it, you were made for this, weren’t you? made to take my cock so well while you sit there in a haze of pleasure, just letting yourself be used. someone fucking your mouth real slow, one hand in your hair to control the pace (which is almost torturously slow, they want to take their time). and when they finally, finally speed up they say, breathless, i’m gonna cum, darling, take it, take it all and you whimper as best as you can with your mouth so full and maybe they laugh, just a little breathless chuckle at how eager you are. and then they’re moaning and burying themselves in your mouth and cumming down your throat and they don’t let you up until they’re finished. fuckin of course i talk about it