#this is why when I say bring back the guillotines I mean it I want billionaires and multi millionaires to go extinct

[triglycercule]

horror's jacket fluff has probably accumulated so much DISGUSTINGNESS over 7 years in it that it's managed to acquire it's own signature Dog Smell (TM). however i think this would be a prime opportunity to pet him and then get some of that disgusting smell on you because for some reasons Dog Smell is just unavoidable when you pet a dog with a lot of hair

he'd hate it but awww awww whos a good boy (ﾉ´∀｀*) whos a good boy (*≧∪≦) YOU ARE!!! awww so cute you didn't commit all those murders against innocent people you were innocent (￣▽￣)／ such a good boy!!!! (gets beheaded) (he got too embarrassed)

[billdenbrough]

did a flash fic challenge today & the character i received from the spin2win was kevin. @merceyca prompted “plexiglass” & immediately after that, @vykio prompted “haunted house”, because they love to make life easy for me LMFAO. predictably with this setup, this is kevaaron. so.

kevaaron + haunted house, plexiglass

“This was a terrible idea,” Kevin mutters.

Andrew obviously hears him, but predictably ignores him, instead choosing to poke experimentally at the cleaver hanging from the ceiling. Renee, at his side, gently lowers his arm.

Matt is sandwiched between Dan and Neil, a bit ahead of Andrew. Allison and Nicky seem to be competing to find the ‘hottest corpse’.

Aaron, bringing up the rear with Kevin, slants him a sidelong glance. “Because those two are three seconds from being sent to a sexual harassment seminar or because you’re worried Andrew will try steal a machete from one of the actors?” he asks dryly.

“They’re not sharp enough,” Andrew says blandly. Renee shoots Kevin an apologetic look over her shoulder—he’s not really sure why; or rather, the only answer that comes to mind is at risk of making him flush, so he beats it back with a stick—and loops her arm with Andrew’s, leading him further out of earshot. Andrew allows it.

When Kevin looks back at Aaron, he’s tilting his head.

“Or something else?” Aaron asks.

Kevin weighs up his options. Discovering no good ones, he grumbles, “I think I saw a clown chasing a toddler with a flamethrower.”

Aaron snorts. “The great Kevin Day,” he says. His tone is mocking, but like – in that Aaron way. Kevin doesn’t really know how to explain it. There’s mocking when Aaron means it, how he used to talk to Neil and the scathing tone he turns on the especially annoying freshmen on the line-up, and then there’s like this: that natural tilt to his voice, something blunt and sarcastic, but no force behind it.

Kevin’s seen what it looks like, after all, when Aaron puts his strength into it.

He’s about to huff—something waspish about haunted houses and horror films and the Foxes’ inexplicable idea of what constitutes ‘fun’—when Aaron shifts closer, the sudden flush of body heat emanating off him stealing the words from Kevin’s mouth.

Aaron doesn’t seem concerned with saying anything, so Kevin doesn’t either, just shifts his weight on his next step to move closer to Aaron, now that he’s allowed. Their shoulders brush. Kevin thinks again about Renee’s apologetic expression, and almost bites off his own tongue.

It’s two rooms later—after Matt had to pull Nicky back from peering into a coffin before a guillotine descended on him, and Dan swore loudly at a fortune-teller who appeared suddenly at her side and kept ominously intoning her name while Allison told Neil, yeah, so that’s why you never say anyone’s name in one of these things—that Kevin finally says, “It’s dark.”

Aaron opens his mouth. Pauses. Shuts it. Hums.

Kevin thinks he’s going to have to say more. Explain himself. Talk about claustrophobic spaces, stuck in the dark, threats of violence.

Then Aaron takes his hand, holding it tight, and it’s like the air goes out of Kevin’s lungs.

He thinks about the car ride over, when Aaron and Nicky debated which horror movie to watch later that night. Nicky had been texting the other car at the time, chiming in with suggestions from the upperclassmen, most of which Aaron had shot down. His knee had kept bouncing, the way it did when he was animated, or irritated, or annoyed, or over-tired, or restless, or a thousand other things that Aaron sometimes was, that Kevin sometimes noticed. He’d wanted to reach out and still Aaron’s leg. He hadn’t.

He thinks about a week ago at Eden’s, downing seven shots as he sat at the table, ignoring whatever the fuck Neil and Andrew were doing as he watched Aaron—fucking wasted—tilt his head back on the dance floor, the lights illuminating the line of his throat. He thinks about an hour before they left for Eden’s that same night, arguing with Aaron about something that didn’t really matter, until it did, and he was pressing Aaron against the plexiglass of the court walls, snapping at him, and then kissing him, and kissing him, and kissing him. He thinks about Aaron��pinned halfway up the wall, Kevin raising him up for a better angle, Aaron’s hand leaving an imprint on the plexiglass—kissing him back.

He thinks about a month before that, on the bus on their way back from a game against Belmonte, Aaron sitting beside him and—with a long-suffering sigh—offering one of his earbuds to Kevin. It hadn’t been music Kevin knew, which Kevin had said, to which Aaron had scoffed, and said, You don’t know anything that came out after the 1800s, which was rude, but possibly fair. Still, Kevin had argued the point, and Aaron had objected to each of his statements, and somehow they’d ended up spending the entire journey going through Aaron’s playlists while they tried to—in Aaron’s words—find ‘an actual music taste’ for Kevin.

Kevin thinks about all of these things, and about Renee’s apology, and about Aaron’s hand in his, and about Aaron shifting closer, and Aaron’s sidelong glance, and he swallows.

A clown could try murder him right now, he thinks, and he might not even notice.

Slowly, he squeezes Aaron’s hand: smaller than his, but firm, unwavering.

After a moment, Aaron squeezes back.

[imtryingbuck]

Six

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Y/n L/n becomes Queen of Astoria not that she wanted to. Prince James of Winterfeld meets her and falls in love.

Word count: 2,329

Warnings: angst. fluff. mentions of death by guillotine. death by sword. swearing.

Masterlist   Series Masterlist

“You are not fine Y/n! You have been stabbed in your side” Carlson all but shouts as he paces up and down her chamber. Once Larissa had got the maester she ran to the dungeon to get him, his heart stopped beating when he heard that his friend had been hurt. Instantly feeling guilty at not protecting her.

“I am fine Carls. I need to deal with the traitors”

“No starlight you need to rest.” Her mother says.

“Mother I am fine, I swear it. The sooner I know that they are dealt with the sooner the better. Larissa please go and fetch Prince Bucky and the King for me and bring them here.”

Not even five minutes after the door comes back open revealing Bucky, King and Queen, all bowing before her. “I know who was the one who attacked me. I am sorry, it was your knight the one who groped my servant.”

The Kings head goes down in shame, the Queen gasps and Bucky’s hands ball into fists. “I am sorry to ask this my Queen but are you sure? I have heard it was very chaotic.”

“I am sure. His words to me were ‘long live the Queen’. It was him.”

“He is one of my knights and I ask you to give me the rights to question him to get the information by any means I see fit.”

“Very well. You have my permission. Once again I am sorry”

“Why are you apologising?” Bucky asks.

“You have been dragged into business that do not concern you and it is your knight that will be losing his life.”

Bucky stood behind his father as the guard opened the door where their knights were being held, his eyes finding the knight in question the second he stepped into the room.

“Queen Y/n has been attacked. Her physician did all that he could to save her.” All their knights eyes went wide with worry and shock, but the one who Y/n named as her attacker didn’t bat an eye at the news, his lips curved into a smirk but dropped as quickly as it came. Steve had to grab ahold of Bucky’s arm as he stepped forward, his anger was getting the better of him.

When his father gave him a nod Bucky moved forward and grabbed the knight, dragging him out and into a different room that Carlson said they could use.

Bucky’s knuckles began to hurt with each punch that he gave the knight, the King sitting in a chair asking questions. At first the knight remained silent, not even trying to defend himself.

The interrogation took hours before he finally cave and began telling them what they needed to know. “I was in the whore house when Sir Jon came over to me, he said he would pay me my weights worth in gold if I killed the Queen and promised me safety in this kingdom when one of the Princesses take over the throne.”

“Did he say why he wanted her dead?”

“He did not say, he just promised me that no one would know it was me.”

Bucky gives him one final punch in the face before telling the man who he had trusted, worked side by side for years. “Your attempt failed, Queen Y/n lives.”

The dungeon was dark, wet and stunk with the smell of urine and sick but that didn’t bother her, keeping her head held high as the guards bowed to her and stepped aside from the iron bars they were guarding.

“It is about time you showed your face! Let us out of here!”

“You are here for a reason-“

“I have been your fathers Hand from the moment he became King and this is what you do? This will not stand!”

“You have betrayed the Crown-“

“You are not fit to be-“

“I am giving you all two options, either leave the kingdom or die by the guillotine. Those who choose to leave with their heads intact will be given my word that you will not be hurt. It is your choice, choose wisely.” Y/n walks away from the cell ignoring Jon’s protest and slurs.

Carlson and her trusted knights stood outside the door of the home belonging to Jon, his wife and children. Y/n knocked on the wooden door waiting patiently.

“Queen Y/n!” The young boy smiled up at her and let her in.

“How are you sweet boy?”

“I am fine, mama said we are going on a trip!”

“How fun, are you excited?”

“I am!”

“Good, you must behave.” Looking at Jon’s wife as she stood in the doorway clinging on to her young daughters hand, their oldest son standing behind her. “Maureen, where are you going?”

“I-we are leaving my Queen, I am trying to go as fast as I can.”

“You do not need to leave. What your scum of a husband has done-“

“Do not call my father scum!” Their oldest son shouted, his mother gasped at the way he had spoken to their Queen, already apologising for his behaviour.

“It is okay. Your father has betrayed the Crown, he had organised an assassination attempt on my life, he is an adulterer who only cares about himself-“

“He did not do what you are accusing him off! He has also never stepped out on my mother!”

“The knight who stabbed me has confessed that it was your father that paid him to do so. Your father has a mistress who works at the whore house.”

“Son, what our Queen speaks is the truth. I know all about the whore that he beds, our Queen speaks no lies.” Their son looked down in shame. He apologised which Y/n waved off and smiled at him.

“Now Maureen, as I have said you do not need to leave, this is you and your children’s home and will always be safe here however if you choose to leave you leave with my blessing and protection, and just know that you will always be able to return when you like.” Moving closer to the woman she has known since she was a child, she took her hand in hers. “Please do not leave.”

“I-I do not want to be tied to him no longer, but I fair the backlash I will get from still being his wife. I did not know what he was planning otherwise I would have stopped him my Queen.”

“You are no longer married to him. Everything that he owns is yours, you and your children will be safe, as my mothers oldest friend I give you my word.”

The great hall was as silent as the dead as they waited for Y/n to speak but all she did was stare of the now former members of her council, those that she had known all her life. “I gave the eight of you two choices, leave my kingdom or die by the guillotine, I have been informed that only two of you have chosen to live. Is this correct?”

“Y-yes my Queen.” The two men stuttered in unison.

“Very well. Guards please take them and escort them beyond the wall. For the rest of you, you will die in the morning.”

Five of the men accepted their fate, nodding to the young Queen, not putting up a struggle as the guards began to lead them away by their chains but Jon. “You are bowing down to a barren bitch! She is unfit to rule!”

“In the short time she has been Queen the people have been happier, changes are being made already.” A Lord shouted which made others chime in too. All defending her.

“She is a blood thirsty bitch!”

“And you are a coward who went against the Crown.” The same Lord told him.

Jon’s eyes slanted as he began looking around the hall, he smiled when his eyes landed on the one he was looking for. “My darling wife-“

“I am no longer your wife, my Grace has granted me my freedom from you.”

“You have turned my wife against me!” He shouted at Y/n.

“I did no such thing. Your wife has been unhappy with your adulterous ways, as she said, I granted her freedom and happiness.” Jon began struggling against his binds, Y/n lips curved up into a grin. “Guards please take the five to the dungeon. Leave Jon.”

Once he was on his own Y/n sat up straighter, “I will grant you a third choice, a fight to the death” Loud gasps fill the silent air, Jon began laughing as Y/n sat with a smile on her lips.

Jon goes to reply when she stops him. “If you win you will be granted your life, if you lose you rob the executioner of his pay.”

“I agree to those terms.”

“Very well. When the morning comes the public can watch as you fight to the death.”

“I volunteer to fulfil your wishes my Queen.” Carlson speaks, more than happy and willing to remove such poison away from his friend.

“That will not be necessary Sir Carlson for I have someone else in mind.”

The beheading of the five council members happened behind closed doors with only Y/n, her mother and her trusted knights as witnesses. She made a promise to them before they lost their lives that their wives and children would be looked after, all five of them grateful by that news. One even wanted to beg for forgiveness but it was too late.

Her people had been informed of what was to happen that morning, all of them gathering in the woods where the training ground was. The King and Queen of Winterfeld also attending. Jon had been dragged into the circle, a deep scowl on his face as the crowd that was already gathered began booing him.

“Y/n… no.”

“Carlson… yes.”

“This is a bad idea Y/n/n.” Carlson looked at Bucky for backup but Bucky couldn’t find the words.

“This is a brilliant idea Calrs. I am doing this for us, me and you, for the shit that he put us through as children. For that night.”

Bucky looked at Larissa silently asking her if she knew what the two friends were talking about, the girl shrugged her shoulders slowly.

“Y/n” Carlson sighed, his eyes pleading with her not to go through with this.

“I failed you that night. I failed you on the battlefield at Highland. I am doing this for the two little children whose only dream was to be happy. Now please move aside.”

“You have never failed me. Never, not once. It has always been the other way around.” He takes her hand in his and places a kiss along her knuckles. “You die, I will kill you myself.”

“Would not want it any other way.”

Making her way down to the woods with Carlson, Bucky and Larissa behind her, the crowd instantly separating as they spot her arrival. Climbing over the fence she smirked at her mother knowing that she wasn’t happy at the sight of her climbing in such a manner.

Jon began laughing maniacally at seeing her. “You? You think you can best me?”

“I do.” Turning to Carlson she nods. “You betrayed me, you betrayed the Crown that you had worked for. I only think it is fitting that you die by the very same sword you swore to protect.” 

Jon’s face dropped at seeing the sword once belonging to the former King. His friend. His thumb moving slowly around the gem that was embedded into the handle of his sword. The King had bestowed a sword to Jon after their first battle together - a battle that Jon had saved the Kings life - the gem was smaller but the exact same one that the King had in his own.

“You do not deserve to touch the sword belonging to the King!”

“And you did not deserve to be my fathers Hand, yet here we are.” She snapped back. 

Jon’s jaw twitched before advancing forward in hopes to catch her off guard. The crowds cheers were drowned out by the loud clashing of steel against steel. Though he was a lot older than her he was still able to keep up with her movements and attacks, blocking her sword with his own. The difference between the two skilled fighters were that Y/n only needed one hand to wield her sword whilst Jon needed both hands on the handle at all times. As their dance of survival became more heated Jon began taunting her, bringing up memories that she had tried to bury into the deepest darkest parts of her mind, she knew exactly what he was doing and she hated herself for falling into his webbed trap.

As she lunged forward Jon brought his hand down, Y/n hissed in pain as her hand went straight to her chest - blood already seeping in between the gaps of her fingers, the crowd all going silent, Carlson and Bucky both being held back by Larissa. Jon used her distraction to his advantage and knocked her fathers sword out of her hand, Queen Winifred’s hand began throbbing in pain and the young Queens mother dug her nails into the other woman’s skin.

Kicking the sword away from them Jon smiled. “You put up a good fight barren bitch. Say hi to your father for me”

As his hands come downwards hers go up and latch onto his wrists. Y/n’s left leg kept kicking outwards in hopes to catch the sword. Smirking up at him Jon let out a surprised yelp as Y/n’s leg swept his from underneath him. Grabbing her fathers sword as fast as she could she stood up.

“I told you that you will die by the sword you swore to protect. Say hi to my father for me” she winked before bringing her fathers sword down and into his chest.

<Previous   Next>

Tags: @sapphirebarnes | @sebastians-love | @sidraaaaaaaaa | @mrsnikstan | @barnesxstan | @hi172826 | @alexdarkacademia | @supraveng | @baw1066

[lou-iz-stat]

4 more weeks or 1 month left until the new season starts and I feel like we are currently in the calm before the storm and I am definitely nervous. 😬

This is my rewatch for episode 4 of season 1 and I absolutely adore this episode as shit pretty much hits the fan after this relatively sweet episode. I have a feeling that we won’t have an episode as happy as this one in season 2 so it’s best to enjoy it as much as possible. 😭

Also spoilers for everything!

IWTV S1 E4: The Ruthless Pursuit of Blood With All a Child’s Demanding

This episode starts out with Daniel talking on his phone to I assume his agent for the book he is going to write about this messy vamps. I wonder if this will be important later?

And of course the sleep paralysis demon that is Armand/ Rashid is just standing there.

Some of the lines he says to Daniel are so archaic it’s crazy people didn’t think he was Armand.

But he has the important job of bringing Daniel to Claudia’s old diaries.

Daniel makes a remark about the tree and Armand says something about an architect which I wonder if that will also be someone from the book that we did not know yet.

And he tells Daniel where to start with the dairies but of course he doesn’t listen and starts reading one towards the end. 😂

Now we are finally starting Claudia’s pov

“You were ready to abandon our home. Now you want a third” Lestat was so hurt by Louis leaving :(

In this version it’s Louis that wants Lestat to turn Claudia instead of Lestat just out right baby trapping him. But that doesn’t mean that Lestat turned Claudia without selfish intentions. He knows if he does this for Louis that he will no longer want to abandon him.

God that look on Lestat’s face when he thinks he’s getting a family. ☺️

Also! No secrets my ass!!!

“A funny way of being nice to each other.” They’re gay dear.

When I first watched the pleated skirt line it took me out! They are everything!!! 🤣

Claudia is Lestat’s daughter alright. Claudia said ACAB and that is why she is an icon.

This episode is comedic genius!

I LOVE when Lestat sneaks in Louis’s coffin. It’s so sweet and since it’s from Claudia’s pov we can more objectively see the good parts of their relationship. I’m sure if Louis was telling this part of the story that he might have not mentioned their coffin-sharing almost every night.

I also really adore the scene with Louis and Claudia in the boat. In the book Claudia doesn’t actually know why or how she was made but in the show Louis tells her the truth that it was because of him that she was hurt so bad in the fire. I like that he just tells her outright for how she was made. I also really love that when Claudia asks Louis how love works between two men and Louis makes that adorable face. It gives me butterflies!

After that scene, Daniel takes a break and walks in on Rashid/ Armand praying and he notes that he spoke a language that is from the Crimea which is a call back to the book since Armand’s character is originally from that area in Europe. So I think that they will still incorporate that part of Armand’s background in the show too.

This makes Daniel sorta suspicious of Rashid also because of him referring to Dubai as a ‘child’ Also Daniel’s notes on ‘Rashid’ is so funny.

We go back to the unholy family and they are just having a grand old time just being hella cute~

I wonder if the marquis Lestat mentions at Claudia’s birthday is his dad or his oldest brother? It sucks either way because they got guillotined during the revolution.

Loustat dancing is so sweet~

Movie theatre scene 🥰

Oh shit Mama Du Lac is dead

They look so good in their formation as the leave the wake.

Lestat bringing Claudia to the lovers lane for some dinner isn’t… the best but he is trying to bond with her and he does treat her so sweetly in the scene.

This does awaken something inside her like her sudden need to grow up.

And in her need to grow up she finally meets Charlie as her first love.

In classic vampire fashion Claudia accidentally kills Charlie

And though I hate to admit it Lestat is right when tells his fledglings to stay out of human goings on. He should have just been more sensitive about it when she brought Charlie’s body home.

Louis finally shows back up in the interview! I wonder what was doing other than ‘resting’

Louis so sad about Claudia. 😢

This episode ends so sad and miserable… Poor Claudia 😔

Okay with that ends my s1 episode 4 rewatch.

I am definitely not looking forward to episode 5…. It’s a tough watch but I’ll try to do it next time.

Thanks for reading this! We have only a month left and between this show and another show that is coming out around the same time I am losing my mind but I would have it no other way.

[call-sign-shark]

⚡ BY THE EYE OF THE STORM || INTRO⚡(repost)

Serie info HERE please read

Pairing:  Hangman x Pilot!reader,  Dagger Squad x Pilot!Reader (platonic)

Words: 2.2k

Summary: You are called back to Top Gun one year after your graduation for a deadly mission. Why? Because you were the top score of the school ever recorded for a long time. Nevertheless, that first day does not go very well. On top of understanding the danger of the mission and how risky it is, you already start a rivalry with one member of the Dagger Squad… Ltd Jake “Hangman” Seresin.

Warning: Military inaccuracies, conflictual relationship, mention of biological weapons, tensions between characters, reader meeting some members of the Dagger Squad for the first time <3 (that’s cute tho)

Tag list: @dempy @potato-girl99981 @callme-fox @djs8891

Notes:

Shark is reader’s best friend and OP’s OC.

Please don’t hesitate to reblog or like if you enjoyed it 🦈 (it brings me so much joy lmao)

Ask if you want to be added to the taglist

The Serie will be interactive: choose at the end of each chapter.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Biological weapons facilities.

Maverick’s sharp words fell upon them like a guillotine blade on a condemned man’s neck.  You detailed the discomfited faces of your nearer colleagues with a discreet glance. Bob and Phoenix looked at each other, a glimmer of concern flickering in their eyes.  Hangman, faithful to himself, rocked back and forth on his chair. His thin lips had stretched in a smirk no one managed to decipher. You could not tell if he had welcomed such information as a challenge or if it was his way of coping with the gravity of the situation. As for Rooster, he had leaned over his desk, his elbow pressing against the wooden surface. He started stroking his mustache with a thoughtful look gracing his tanned face. 

“Fuck, that’s a big deal.”  A feminine and always-playful voice croaked next to you and popped your thoughts bubble. Shark seemed excited.

“Yeah, I know.” That was all you managed to answer. All the other things you could have uttered remained trapped in your throat, tightened by anxiety. A small sigh escaped from your rosy lips. When Beau “Cyclone” Simpson called you and Shark back to Top Gun one year after your graduation, you knew it was not a good sign. As soon as you recognized the phone number on your smartphone’s screen,  a chilling thrill went down your spine. It had been as if your deepest instinct whispered in your ear to ignore the call.  However, you ended up shooing away that unpleasant feeling and here you were, sitting in the briefing room with your fellow pilots who had been chosen for such a suicidal mission. You exhaled slowly through your nose, attempting to keep the straightest face possible. Maverick had paused for one solid minute to let the Dagger Squad have the time they needed to assimilate the news. Then, he resumed his explanations.

“Our first role will be to locate the facilities.” His quiet voice captivated everyone’s attention in the room without even trying. You, and all the other pilots, were drinking his words, obliterating the external world despite the constant cacophony of engines roaring and soldiers screaming outside.

“That is to say, we will make as many air patrols as needed until we know exactly where are all the facilities and their warehouses.” Maverick wrote down the words AIR PATROLS in capital letters on the whiteboard he was standing next to. The black pen squeaked on the surface. “ I know, you probably think that those patrols are no big deals. That’s where you’re wrong. Reports said this rogue nation has air strike forces… Which means they have pilots ready to blow up your jets.” He wrote down the words ENNEMY JETS below his first scribble.

You blinked several times as you understand that you will all risk your life each time you will fly above suspicious zones. Not once, not twice, but as many times as it takes to locate the facilities. Usually, the first part of the plan was the easiest. If that was the most doable part, you were not eager to know the rest of it.

“And what happens next?” Payback’s voice echoed from the back of the room. He was sitting right behind Hangman, eyes staring at Maverick and fingers fidgeting his pen since the beginning of the briefing. “We bomb them?” 

Maverick tilted his head to the side, one eyebrow raised and remained silent. He was waiting for Payback to understand by himself how absurd his question was. Yet, the revelation never seemed to come. You exhaled once again, a bit noisier this time, before raising your hand to talk.

“Blowing up facilities filled with biological weapons might not be the most… Efficient way to get rid of the problem.” You said calmly. Captain Mitchell nodded at your words and went on with the plan. 

“As Storm just said, blowing up tanks of dangerous biological shit is everything except a good idea. We don’t want viruses or I don’t know what else to spread in nature and infect the population.” 

You heard Shark snort, amused by your remark. You were about to smile at her when you caught another voice commenting on what you just said. “No shit Sherlock.”  You turned your head, looking dagger at Jake, who stared back at you with a cocky grin. The hell was his problem, you thought. However, you ignored such a childish reaction to focus back on Maverick’s frame. 

“Once we know their locations, we will help the Marines’ intervention. They will dismantle the facilities on the ground, while we will destroy their air force and keep them from escaping and using their biological weapons. Not one single of their aircraft must leave the perimeter.”  

Silence fell a second time in the room.

“And do we know what kind of infectious agent they use?” This time that was Bob’s shy and slightly shaky voice that broke the silence.

“Cyclone’s highest bet is smallpox or anthrax. Mine’s mycotoxins, but the real answer to that question is that we don’t know for sure yet.” 

While you kept your cool the whole briefing, you could not help but pinch the bridge of your nose and close your eyes for a few seconds. You felt a headache, which had been threatening you since this morning, start to hammer your skull. What happened next was kind of blurry for you. What you remembered was that Maverick explained what jets he thought would suit the best for the mission, and how your training will mainly focus on dogfights and on sharpening your maneuvers. That was only when you heard the sound of the Captain clapping his hands and telling you to leave the meeting room that your mind snapped back to reality. An unpleasant shiver ran down your spine before you got up from your chair and left the room.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

“Hey, Raingirl! Wait a minute!” You glanced behind you at the familiar voice. You could recognize that slightly raspy and psychotic tone among thousands of others. You stopped, waiting for Shark to catch up.

“Are ya’ in a hurry or what?”  She cheered, wrapping one of her arms around your shoulders in a friendly embrace, before leaving the building with you.

“You seem rather excited for someone who has a high risk of dying during her next mission.” You answered, teasing.

“Aw ya know, I’m just trying to put the laughter in slaughter.”  

As soon as you felt the warm sunrays caressing your skin, you shut your eyelids for a few seconds and paused the conversation. A faint smile adorned your rosy lips. After hours and hours of being locked up in a dull and far too climatized room, the feeling of the sun kissing your face was a real treat. You slowly opened your Y/EC eyes and looked at your best friend. Shark was a petite woman with icy blue eyes and light blonde hair that she would usually style in long dutch braids during her service. Outside, she would wear pigtails or let her wild mane down. The first time you heard about her was during your first week in Top Gun’s program. You wondered how the hell someone’s callsign could be “shark”. Yet, you understood as soon as your eyes fell on her: when she was smiling, her mouth would stretch and her lips would reveal two rows of perfectly aligned but sharp teeth. Due to a natural birth defect, all of her teeth, except her incisors, were shaped like fangs. On top of that, the woman had odd scars on each side of her neck, similar to gills slits. Despite that slightly creepy smile of hers, you both soon became inseparable to the point she became your wingman.

“You truly have zero self-preservation.” You concluded your sentence with a wink. “And you ain’t even funny, Fish head.” 

Shark was about to say something but someone else’s voice resonated

“Don’t leave yet, I couldn’t wait to talk to both of you after Mav’s presentation.” A dark-haired woman with her hair combed in a neat ballet bun and brown cunning eyes walked towards you, followed by her RIO Bob. They stopped in front of you: “The name’s Phoenix and he, he’s Bob. I’m more than happy two see two other girls here. Welcome to the Dagger Squad.” She said, with a little but adorable smile on her face “I really look forwards to flying with you.  I heard you were the best.” 

“Nah, Storm’s the best. I’m second.” Shark answered, looking at you with pride.

You shook your head, chuckling. You never liked boasting about your results and your flying skills. All you did was work your ass off and always try to do your best. Yet, the truth was that you truly were a gifted pilot. You slipped one of the messy bangs of your Y/HC hair behind your ear.

“I appreciate your compliments about my abilities, I really do. But y’all are talented as fuck too. Pretty sure we’ll make a good team.” You offered your most charming smile you could to Phoenix and Bob. 

Funnily enough, the man with big glasses remained silent for the whole conversation. Sometimes he would crack a tiny hesitant smirk before staring back at his feet. Even though this one did not belong to the talkative kind, he seemed genuinely nice.

“Didn’t know they would hire baby pilots for such an important mission.”  The good mood you had managed to bring back shattered in million of pieces at those venomous words spat by Lieutenant Jake “Hangman” Seresin. The tall blonde pilot was leaning against the building, arms crossed on his muscular chest. His eyes, small green jewels shimmering with a mocking glow, looked hard at you. All of your body tensed as you sensed his arrogant attitude. You straightened up to your full height and stared back at him with a freezing gaze. Obviously, you knew who was that cocky soldier. Jake “Hangman” Seresin’s reputation was following him: he was one of the few pilots who had confirmed kills. Noticing the challenging look you had on your face, Jake closed his jaws in one quick gesture, biting the toothpick he had between his lips. Then, the man graciously moved his frame toward you until you were both facing each other. 

“With all due respect, you are far too novice for this mission. I don’t know why Mav’ agreed to let you join us, but you don’t belong here.” He said, with a calm yet bossy tone. 

“With all due respect, you can go fuck yourself.” You snapped, causing him to laugh.

“Yeah suck it. Who do you think you are uh?” Shark added.

“Playing the tough girls?” 

“Seriously what the fuck Hangman, if they are here it’s for a good reason.” Phoenix interrupted. She was not bearing this kind of behavior. You simply made a slight head movement to the dark-haired woman to thank her.  Then, you shift back your attention to Hangman, staring at him with intensity as if you were etching the slightest detail of his good-looking face in your mind.

“I am perfectly where I should be. If you think I don’t belong here, well that’s not my problem.  If my presence bothers you,  guess what? That’s not my problem. And if you want to sing the blues to Capt. Mitchell, that’s also not my problem. In the meantime, I’ll just take your aggressive attitude and your arrogance as a way of coping with your lack of confidence.”

Hangman clenched his jaw, vaguely discountenanced by your sharp tongue. Nevertheless, you did not manage to wipe his presumptuous smile off his face.

“Alright, baby bird, let’s see how long you last until I cut your wings… And before I cut your friend’s fins.”  He hissed through his teeth.

“Storm. “

“Sorry?” He raised a brow.

“Call me baby bird one last time and I’ll punch your face. The name’s Storm.”  You turned your back to him and grabbed Shark by the wrists before leaving.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

You walked on the beach, trying to cool down your nerves by taking big inhales of the sea air that was floating around the base.  The salty scent was soothing and soon, you found yourself at peace again. You took a quick glance at Shark, who was looking at the dancing waves of the ocean with a contemplative look.

“Don’t worry Fish head. You know we belong here.” You said, with the more reassuring tone your could have. The bubbly blonde girl grinned at your words. You smiled back at her grin, rendered slightly disturbing because of her fangs - but you were used to it.

“I don’t. I trust Capt Mitchell. Quite the contrary, I am wondering how Hangman will react tomorrow.” Her fingers were playing with the tips of one of her braids.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, when he’ll see that you are far better than him.” 

You snorted, amused. 

“For sure, I’ll show him.” 

You said, feeling the storm brewing.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

READER CHOICE:

[go talk to HANGMAN] or [go to the Hard Deck]

[saga-project]

"Just go in. Just go in, you idiot. Even if they end up kicking you out, at least you'll know then. You'll know what they really thought of you this whole time. Just....it's easy. Go in. Go in." That was the mantra that Saga had been repeating to themselves for the past ten minutes or so as they stalked back and forth at the official entrance to the lair, breathing picking up in spite of their better efforts. What if their brothers judged them for this. What if they'd just put on a friendly face in all of those texts to lure them into a false sense of security, so that they'd come back and face the same treatment from their family that Rakshan had given to them all those--

No. No. His family wasn't like that. They'd never--

"Don?"

Oh he absolutely could not do this. He'd decided. He was going to slide into the tunnel that was immediately next to the entrance and pray that they wouldn't--

And of course they were all there, looking in at him with wide eyes. Of course. Of course. Just his luck.

"Don? Hey. Do you wanna....come out?" Raph's voice, now, so gentle. So.....no, no, Raph was fooling him into thinking it was okay, any minute now the guillotine would fall and they'd cast him out and he'd be back on the streets again--

"G-get away from me. Just leave," he gritted out, hissing under his breath as he turned his face away from them.

"Don, we're not leavin'. We just wanna know what's going on. We're not gonna yell, we're just happy you're back--"

"Go away! Just leave!" Why was he saying that, he didn't mean it, why was he reverting back to everything that he'd said to Theatre and Leon and all the rest of them when he was trying so hard to convince them that he was a monster so they'd leave him, he was fine, this was his family, they wouldn't throw him out, they--

"We--"

You're fine you're fine you're fine just calm down you know they wanted you back you know--

But of course, Saga's treacherous brain was louder than his heart, in that moment. And that was what made him snap, spinning towards the mouth of the tunnel and baring his teeth in a feral snarl. "DON'T YOU GET IT, RAPH? I SCREWED EVERYTHING UP."

"No you--"

He gasped in a breath of air. Another, another. God, he felt like he was drowning. Like he was floating further and further away from the safety of the anchor, adrift in a seemingly endless sea. "For FIVE SECONDS I thought.....I thought I could be part of a family again. Like I wasn't so fucked in the head that I can't even act like a proper brother. But I just.....I'm just a stupid.....lonely.....fucked up monster, I-"

"No you're not." Leo's voice now, quiet. "You're our brother."

"I was your brother before. You want him back. Not me. Not someone who can't even sit through a fucking thunderstorm without going into SAVAGE mode. Not someone who has nightmares every fucking night. Not someone who's killed upwards of a hundred people or more, and who can still feel the blood sometimes, and who was taught that he has to be the perfect fucking soldier, and who can't even be affectionate with his family unless he's not even in fucking control of himself!" Saga was practically screaming themselves hoarse now, but they couldn't bring themselves to care. They'd tear their throat raw and bloody then, if it meant that their family would finally just listen to what they were saying.

"....Don."

"I can't....I just.....I wanted to believe it. I wanted to believe that I was worthy of having a family again. I wanted to believe that I could.....that I could be the person you want me to be. But I can't. And I ruined everything. And I almost hurt you. Because I'm too fucked in the head. And if you want to get rid of me, or....or....I don't know. I'll....I'll accept it. I'm just.....so tired of lying to all of you. Of pretending that I'm a good person. I'm....I'm not. Not anymore." A terrifying silence stretched on for several minutes after that, and Saga continued, trying to fill it, gasping and choking over their words. "And the worst part is that I fought so hard to get back here, but you would all be so much better off without me. Or at least it feels that way sometimes. And then I just confirmed it. You know, sometimes i just want to.....and it doesn't make any sense. I don't want to.....to die, I just.....I'm just so tired. When I'm not in control of myself, it's the only time that I'm....that I'm not tired. That I'm not scared. That I don't have to think about anything. About being a monster. About the fact that I hurt people for years. I....I didn't want you to find out. I was afraid that if you knew, you.....but I guess I screwed that up too."

Their words weren't making sense anymore. They knew that, as they drew their knees up to their chest and buried their face within them. "You've all been so nice to me and I don't deserve it and I don't know how to be a part of a family again and I ruined it and now you know how screwed up I am and you'll leave and...god, I fought and killed so many people, I'm not a hero like you guys are and I'm sorry that I can't be and--"

There was a hand gently being laid on his face. Saga flinched away from it for a moment, hissing--but it wasn't his brothers. It was his father, looking at him with a heartbreakingly vulnerable expression on his face. "Oh, my son. My brave little purple. If I had had any idea of what you went through....you could have come and talked to me. I am sorry if it seemed as though you could not. I know the horrors of the Nexus all too well. To think that they made a child fight there is a new brand of cruelty--" Splinter seemed to trip over his words then, angry tears coursing down his whiskers, and all Saga could do was stare.

"....Dad-"

"I could not protect you, Donatello. And I am so very sorry for it. But do not think yourself a monster for being forced to act upon the whims of others. It is not those actions that make you who you are. It is your feelings."

"But.....even you grew to.....and I....I got used to it. I learned to like it. All the fights and the killing. Doesn't that--doesn't that make me a monster?"

"My son. Why might that have been."

"....because it was expected. Because it was.....them or me. O-oh."

"Exactly."

Mikey stepped forward then, voice soft but no less kind. "You're not messed up. I know you weren't trying to hurt me, Don. It was just your brain being all weird. You're not a monster, I'm not afraid of you. You're just....you. You're allowed to feel things and be messy, that's all part of healing! Take it from Doctor Feelings."

"And nothing you could say or do would stop us from bein' your brothers." Raph, now. "I'm sorry that we made you feel like you had to hide it, and I'm sorry that you felt that bad and you felt like you couldn't come to us. We're gonna change that, okay? Whatever you wanna talk about, we're here."

"Personally-" And here Leo approached, laying a careful hand on Saga's shoulder. "I kinda think you're the one good thing that came out of that shithole."

And when Saga glanced up at all of them, finally uncurling himself from his borderline fetal position, all he could see was sincerity in their gaze. He saw no traces of a lie, nothing to indicate that they were hiding their true feelings from him. No. These were his brothers. His family. They loved him. No matter what he did. And while he couldn't guarantee that he would never feel this way again, never potentially fear their reaction to one of his oddities--

--he couldn't deny that Bee and Theatre's words being validated was a nice feeling. He let out a shaky breath, then, glancing at all of them in turn. "But....but I don't know how to be a....a brother."

"You were off to a pretty good start, Don."

"One step at a time. You're our family, Don. We love you. No matter how messed up you might be."

A long, shaky exhale. A glance up at the ceiling, while they swiped the tears from their vision. ".....okay. okay. I....I want to go home. Take me home. Where.....where my family is."

"Sure thing, Don. Come on, let's get you the rest of the way back....hey, are those cupcakes?"

".....my friend Bee made them. The one I got my name from. They're very good."

"Oh, man, I can't wait to try them, you'll have to tell me all about-"

And as they gently helped to carry both him and the cupcakes back inside the lair, Saga looked around at his surroundings, gently smiling to himself. This place....it didn't feel like a complete alien landscape to him anymore. It felt safe. Warm. Like clothes straight out of the dryer. Like sinking into bed after a long day of work. Like home.

For the first time in nearly a decade, Saga allowed himself to believe that it was his. And that he was here to stay.

[crackspinewornpages]

SUPERMAN'S GIRL FRIEND, LOIS LANE #67

Tickets to the new wax museum opening are sent to the Planet and Perry sends Lois and Clark to cover it and he wants them to wear picturesque costumes too. (must be a slow news day) Lois thinks Clark being a king is funny. (no need to be mean Lois) At the museum Clark comments that being a powerful ruler would be fun, (flashbacks to Injustice) Lois thinks she’s kidding, (why you so mean to him Lois) but would like to be a queen.  

Lois goes to replace the fallen dagger from Lady Macbeth, (I guess she’s real in the DC universe) but a guard stops her, the dagger is the original one and is cursed to bring madness. Lois doesn’t believe it but thinks it would be a good anecdote for the story. 

Lois has Clark dress as King Henry VIII the famous glutton and wants him to eat it to the bones. (just so mean to him) As she turns Clark gnaws it down to the bones, she sees this and thinks it proves he’s Superman, (he could sneeze a little harder than normal and you’d think it’s proof) he says it just had less meat on it. 

As revenge he has her dress as Queen Elizabeth I, and she catches on that he’s hinting that Superman will never marry her. 

As they leave the curator gives them souvenir postcards and back in her apartment Lois daydreams of being a queen when a man knocks on her door calling her Queen Lois. He has a tape of her sister Lucy, they kidnapped her, and she better obey or else. 

She has to pretend to be famous queens, and it can be blamed on the cursed dagger, they had it set since sending the tickets to the Planet. The next morning a submariner spies Lois dressed as Queen Cleopatra on a gondola in the bay in the way of their torpedoes, better call Superman.  

Lois calls him Marc Antony and he guesses she’s acting like this because of the curse.

She orders him to be taken to shore and he decides to humor her until he gets to the bottom of it. She can’t tell him anything because her crown has a bug in it, so she has to keep playing along and she wonders what they could gain by tricking Superman. She feigns coming out of it and acts confused, so he takes her home, she doesn’t dare tell him the truth. The next day Superman tells her she paid a barge 500 dollars to take her out in the bay, she explains that it must have come from her savings. He tells her he’s glad she’s doing better and goes off on a mission, she almost tells him, but Mr. Alias planted bugs everywhere. 

Her next order is to go to the Black Castle, there’s a banquet being set up and she’s to play Queen Elizabeth I, the delivery men think something’s up and call Superman. (people just call him for every strange little thing) She calls him Sir Walter Raleigh, he’s in time to celebrate the defeat of the Spanish Armada and Superman thinks she’s demented talking to empty chairs. He uses his Super-ventriloquism to make it sound like there’s a crowd calling for the queen's presence, so she’ll go out and see them. 

The drawbridge is broken so he uses his cape and stretches it out for her to walk on. (in some canon Superman’s cape can be stretched out and sometimes it has a pocket) she offers to marry him as a reward. 

She thinks she’ll play his role to the hilt and she’ll get some fun out of it and kisses him. Again, she feigns confusion, and he thinks his Super-kiss snapped her out of it. (no the super-kiss only causes amnesia) He tells her what happened, and she claims it’s the dagger’s fault, he tells her the delusions will vanish with time. 

After he leaves the kidnappers calls her on a closed circuit on the TV, if she doesn’t play along, they’ll give Lucy more bread and water. Her next order is at the costume ball by the Historical Society, she'll be Marie Antoinette and the ball will include a guillotine to reenact her execution, (what did they plan to use it for) she keeps in mind they’re afraid of Superman. At the Planet, Lois, Clark and Jimmy get dressed and she calls Clark ridiculous for dressing as Superman and he thinks she’s acting normal again. (their relationship is just so unhealthy) 

At the party Lois plays the part of the queen and Clark thinks she’s being affected again. Mr. Alias tells her to keep up the act and she will, to make his hair curl. She takes off Clark’s glasses and she calls him handsome and proposes marriage, (Lois Lane investigative reporter sees Clark in the Superman suit takes off his glasses and still can’t add 2+2) he will when the cathedral is built. For his impudence she orders him to be beheaded. Jimmy thinks Clark is in real danger and turns on his signal watch, this is Lois’s plan, when Superman arrives, he’ll stop Mr. Alias. 

As the executioner pulls up the blade Clark thinks seeing the blade shatter on his neck will prove he’s Superman and drive Lois over the edge. (her mind can’t be that fragile) The shock of seeing the blade shatter jolts her out of her fantasy, Clark tells the crowd it was a gag. He’s wearing a metal collar, and the blade was a fake, Perry was in on it too. Superman warned them of Lois’s delusions, so it was just in case, and Lois feels bad for fooling them all. 

That night, Mr. Alias comes to her apartment, for that trick they’ll feature in her final performance as the Queen of Sheba at an abandoned film lot and she’ll order Superman to find the real missing jewels. Mr. Alias disguises himself as a security guard and warns Lois not to cross them or they’ll finish off her sister Lucy. Superman arrives and she accidentally calls out to him, Mr. Alias covers that she’s waiting for King Solomon. Lois says it’s a hoax like all the other times, he’s blackmailing her, Mr. Alias orders Lucy to be killed. 

Lois tells him the whole plan and Superman is appalled she’d get her sister killed to expose him, but it wasn’t her sister, Lucy never wears black. 

The film set was from a flop, The Queen of Sheba, by director Ned King and has Superman tear down the set to reveal hidden cameras. It was all a ploy to get Superman to find the missing jewels. King says he broke no laws, it was all for publicity. (blackmail is a crime) The Lucy actress is the heiress Clarice Von Dorn, who starred in the flop. She’s angry, she backed him with a million dollars to make her a star and he ruined her, and she dumps a plant on him for the humiliation. Lois films the beat down, when the movie word sees It, he’ll need a new alias. (cue laugh track) 

Lois is at the beauty parlor thinking about how every reporter wants to interview a foreign ambassador, she needs to get the exclusive. At the parlor Lois sees Lois...La Flamme, the famous temperamental French movie actress, Bombshell of the Boulevards. She’s tired of the attention and wants to be alone and goes bike riding instead of the ambassador’s party. So, Lois, seizing an opportunity, disguises herself as Lois. (and just steals this lady’s dog I guess but she did abandon it a a beauty salon) 

She goes to Ambassador Vandergilt’s party, (is this a nod to wealthy American elite Vanderbilt) Clark sees her in the cord and thinks she reminds him of someone. (Clark Kent investigative reporter with like 20 different types of vision but apparently has face blindness) Also he was invited to the party as Superman. 

Lois avoids the other guests and gets close to Vandergilt, he’ll answer her question about him if she answers his questions about her. (oh we’re playing that game) He then gets distracted when Superman arrives and entertains them by drinking a sword he melted. The guest, Count Armand, gifts Lois a cooker with her favorite dish, snails.  

She can’t eat them but can’t give herself away, so she complains they have too much sauce and being the temperamental diva, knocks the cooker over. Vandregilt asks her to meet him later at the Charlton Hotel to answer her questions (which is the opposite reaction I’d have if someone scattered hot coals all over my nice floor) and Superman figures out it’s Lois in disguise to get the scoop. 

As Lois leaves Clark meets her outside, he saw the latest La Flamme movie and Lois didn’t, if he quotes the movie he’ll know for sure, it’s a marriage proposal. Lois wonders what got into Clark and tells him she’ll only marry Superman. With proof Clark walks away dejected and thinks he should teach her a lesson for using such tactics to get a story. (even though you all do this all the time) Lois is worried about the rejection and will keep an eye on Clark, while Clark scolds a boy for squirting a girl with a water pistol Lois sees and thinks it’s real. 

She throws the gun into the river and tells him not to do anything rash and this gives him an idea on how to teach her a lesson. At the Charlton Lois can’t wait to get out of the wig, she keeps worrying about Clark. Count Armand shows up angry she jilted him for Superman, she’ll marry him or else. 

Meanwhile, on the roof, Clark is investigating a robbery from a hotel room and sees an out-of-control truck, so he leaps off the roof to change midair, (flashbacks to Superman IV) only for Lois to see him falling, she can’t look, believing it’s her fault for rejecting him. 

Superman just hopes she didn’t see him switch, (she just saw you jump off a building) she runs out and asks if Clark is safe, he tells her Clark is fine thinking her guilty conscience prevented her from finding out his identity. (she was worried for your life that was the least on her mind) Armand demands a duel to the death since he captured the heart of Lois. Lois says it’s useless, he’s invulnerable, Superman agrees if he insists. Later it’s a shooting duel but Superman refuses to shoot. 

Lois thought it was silly of her to worry as the bullet bounces off of him but it ricochets and hits Armand. Lois reveals she was impersonating Lois La Flamme, it was a stupid hoax, she won't do it again. (liar) Superman tells Armand to get up, it was Jimmy in disguise (who else could it be) to teach her a lesson, (that you both are emotional abusing asses) Lois is so relieved she could cry. 

Later, Lois meets Clark for a date, he takes her to the latest La Flamme film, Love’s Masquerade. (get it) 

(I hope that lady got her dog back) 

LOIS RUSHES INTO MARRIAGE 

LOIS LANE STALKER ROOM 

STALKING SEEN AS ROMANTIC 

SUPERMAN IS A DICK

1 Page 3: gets back at Lois by making her wear the Virgin Queen's costume 

2 Page 6: teaching Lois a lesson for going undercover to get a story

2 Page 8: making Lois worry about his safety and believe she got a man killed

2 Page 8: taking to a movie staring the actress that gave her so much grief

DIDN'T AGE WELL 

1 Page 13: a background character wears a middle eastern costume

SOMEONE DIES 

LOIS PUTS HERSELF IN DANGER  

LOIS IS COMPETENT 

1 Page 12: making an emergency so Superman will come

1 Page 15: figuring out it was a fake Lucy

2 Page 2: Lois successfully disguising herself as La Flamme to sneak into a party to get an interview

HAPPY ENDING  

1: the bad guy got his comeuppance and no one was seriously hurt

2: relatively speaking

LOIS IS A BITCH

1 Page 2: belittles Clark for thinking it would be fun to be a king twice

1 Page 3: makes him wear an embarrassing costume

1 Page 11: calls Clark ridiculous for wearing a Superman costume

1 Page 12: putting Clark's life on the line

SUPERMAN IS ACTUALLY NICE

1 Page 7: comfort's Lois when he thinks she's suffering from delusions and checks up on her the next day

1 Page 9: plays along to keep her from getting upset and feels sorry for her

1 Page 11: tries to comfort her that her delusion will go away with time and is happy she seems to be acting like herself

[hepbaestus]

Thoughts on Robots (2005)

I've got an essay to write and read papers for, so why not watch a film that I loved as a kid? Join me in my thoughts on Robots (2005)

This one's a long one so strap in.

I only learnt fairly recently that it's fucking Ewan McFuckingGregor voicing the protagonist in this film.

I watched this film so much as a kid and I didn't realise? How the fuck did I get into university?

RIP blue sky

Even the pigeons are robots

He's so happy about being a dad

The doors the shape of a lightbulb

The saxophone at "making a babies the fun part" how saucy

"I don't need to see the directions" every person ever with IKEA manuals

Rodney Copperbottom. What a name.

"this won't hurt a bit son" oh my fucking god

Hand-me-downs from cousin Jeffrey? What happened to him?

That poor drum

Oh god Bigweld's voice brings back memories and TIM. TINY TIM

The door's kinda creepy

That lil robot with the plate is me

This is where shit hits the fan I think, I don't remember

Fucking hell that really is Ewan McGregor

The small kid in a big city feeling, that's me whenever I'm in London

IS THAT FUCKING ROBIN WILLIAMS as Pinwheel Fender??? (Just looked it up and it is oml)

Pinwheel needs his money

Fucking tinman from wizard of Oz?

The garbled talking down a microphone ugh

My travel sick body would not be able to handle any of the trip to Bigweld Industry

It's always the small seemingly sweet ones that are so mean

Oh god it's him. It's Ratchet - I remember having a crush on him (this really foreshadowed my future fictional crushes - almost all of them being either the villain or just arrogant in a hot way)

Nice, eye of the Tiger playing

Oh no

Oopie. Falling through a window

The magnetisation of Rodney is dragging everything with him

So many layers to the city

Ooooo Underground by Tom Waits 1983, this song brings back memories. I do prefer the movie's cover (as expected)

The break time being literal seconds

Of course Ratchet's mom is a fucking spider

He's just doing what his mother wants him to do (she's emotionally manipulating him with what threats of doing the same to him as she did to his father)

This films fucking dark for 6 year olds, Jesus

Fiting over a foot with elegant music in the background, hilarious

Spanish football voice box, I remember this making me laugh so much

"I can't never find parts of my size" same dude

It's her (Piper - another character I had a crush on as a kid)

How did I not realise how gay I was as a kid? Like having a crush on the literal villain AND the cute sister of Fender

Piper's such a dork I love her

The good news is that he's been outmoded? Oof

THERES A FUCKING STAR WARS REFERENCE IN THIS FILM

That's one thicc ass

THATS NOT THE MEAN STEPMOTHER FROM A CINDERELLA STORY IS IT (just looked it up, that's Jennifer fucking Coolidge, the stepmom from another film that I loved as a kid)

So many iconic people in this film

Poor lamppost, the white tape where he'd died

"Only those with insurance..." No here has insurance buddy, if they did they could probably afford to buy parts

Such a people pleaser (same)

A literal operation as a reference to the game operation, this film is brilliant

A toilet saying you're number one. Don't know how to feel about that

Ratchet's mum is such a narcissist

Why does Rodney look kinda good in that outfit??

Au reservoir??? The incorrect French hurts

Singing in the rain reference?? Nice

The sweeper!! No!!!

"BAD BOT BUSTS BALL"???? they knew exactly what they were doing with that wording

The mini guillotine

The amount of dominoes on the floor must have taken ages

Mans is just surfing the domino waves

Good piece of advice? Give up.. solid advice right there

Sad talk time let's goo

The subtle bagpipes when Robin Williams is speaking with a Scottish accent

Revolution time babyyy

Robots ran so Avengers Endgame could walk

Wonderbot is so strong for such a tiny thing

"Herb Special edition" my heart

This gives me Tony Stark and Peter Parker vibes (in the fact that in fics, Peter is almost always the successor to Stark Industries)

An impromptu drag show with Fender nice

Overall score: 6/10 good film, very nostalgic

Film recommendations welcome!

[transrevolutions]

Starting from the top here.

It doesn't actually matter whether or not Marie Antoinette enjoyed farming/said 'let them eat cake'/threw less big parties than the average European monarch/etc. None of those things change the fact that she was one of the figureheads and faces of a repressive regime rife with inequality by virtue of its existence. Kind of like how a dictator who, let's say, never litters, is still a dictator. Optics will never mean more than actual positions and privileges.

She would not have "saved France" from the "Reign of Terror". In fact, she pretty much tried to get it invaded by a foreign army. That's the opposite of saving France!

The vast majority of the revolutionaries were not aristocrats or nobility. In fact, most aristocrats and nobles left France when the Revolution broke out, not wanting to risk losing their assets/privileges. Next reblog:

Firstly, there is no such thing as an enlightened despot. If you go by general Enlightenment philosophy, despotism was largely considered a mark of the old/superstitious/less-educated times. See point #1.

"Terror" meant something different back then. Also there was no "Reign of Terror" or any official policy involving "terror" whatsoever. They called it that later, bringing a new political connotation to the term. Can you guess why? Next reblog (thegreenleavesofspring):

Loaded language aside, I can see where people get this idea- if you look at purely the numbers, far more non-nobles were executed in the First French Republic than nobles. However, this does not take into account the fact that there were far, far, far more non-nobles in France in general. Proportionally, the ratio of nobles/aristocrats guillotined is higher than that of the Third Estate. Next reblog:

They did not outlaw Christianity. That didn't happen, ever. What they did do was require Catholic priests to pledge not to betray the nation on the Pope's orders, which some devout Catholics saw as heresy. But there really wasn't any other viable option there- what were they supposed to do, just give religious figures a free treason pass? In addition to being unfair, it would put everyone else in danger. Actually, religious freedom generally increased during the French Revolution, with several minority religious groups gaining greater equality.

That was part of decimalization, an effort to standardize units and measurements. While wanting a break from the old Gregorian calendar may have made the idea more palatable for some, that certainly wasn't the only (or even main) reason. Decimalization is how we got the metric system, (yes, really! Look it up!) but the new calendar just didn't stick that way. Such is history. But it made quite a lot of sense at the time.

"marie antoinette used to play pretend poverty" big deal there's a ton of university art students in new york doing the same thing

[kindtobechurlish]

I’m not Donald Trump saying if I put other people on the guillotine I might be put on the guillotine! I’m not him. Instead, I know God exists.. when it is time for me to bring my arguments before God, my conscience stops me and all I can say is, “the lord is wise”, I don’t have what I want, no, I don’t have my material I want, no, the possessions I want, no, but the lord has given me wisdom and it’s not mine! All of my days my lord fills the gap, and all I can say is that, “it’s not fair” when other people don’t worship God and they get money just to look to waste it on gambling, and then I’m corrected. They don’t know what I know, and I have things in my mind.. the difficult thing is conveying the thoughts to you, so that you submit to God! I don’t want you to submit to me, I want you to submit to God, and that guy saying, “he’s black” is saying this is what tyrants do. “The white race doesn’t even put people under the guillotine, you want to put people on a crucifix”, and the idiot is focused on “what I want to do”, verses fearing God. The fear of the lord is your treasure, and that is why I can come here and say the lord is wise. I see a slab of pork, I don’t eat it in fear of God.. now you can fathom “my treasure.” I would enable other people to have “treasure”, and there is no council, wisdom, or advice against God. I’m not Donald Trump, making things about a farce of racialism, instead I am personifying my patron like you should founders.. and I see all these stagnant people with no motion. They can’t understand the ebb of the wave, and being just like the ebb of the advancing wave, so they don’t know that history only gives hope. I look to advance, and I am as the ebb going back into the sea - as the wave pushes itself on shore. I don’t want to just be “the water” and I am consistently adjusting just fitting into the form that proves I have volume.. i want to know the temperature to know 33 degrees. Now, the act of breaking the ice is the act of breaking the ice - and all of the people who are not masters aren’t moving. No. Did you know rabbi is master? “Blessed be they who bless Israel, cursed be they who curse Israel”, and you see my life, what has happened to me, to act like the Kike makes his blessings and not God being God. Now, just law!? Some people claiming jew, but I can prove deceit and injury - and I’m not cursed. Some assholes stand with that Kike, and they with that Kike want more information to make it more safe. Women are with them, and when I say, “why don’t we not be together” I am mean. I don’t want to be with a woman who gives me more work to do, but you don’t know her as a worshiper of God.. she is just in the Kike mould. Screw that woman, I imagine being with her and I don’t like who she is. I don’t like what she talks about, I don’t like what she laughs at, and you imply “thread” like you will spend the rest of YOUR life with her. I don’t like what Liz Plank is about, and I don’t want to be with her. I would rather say, “the lord is wise” and wait for my God, than be a runaway and act like I want Liz Plank - or anyone that is “like her.” I am starting to detest her, I really don’t like her. Go figure 

[maddiem4]

That's actually a very fair and potent observation. Yeah, I would love and prefer (and on some days, beg) the anti-anti-civ people to bring a more nuanced, curious and humble rebuttal to the anarchists: "I hear your complaints and we do need civilization to be better, buuuuuut we still need a civilization of some kind." I think that would just be objectively a better stance to bring to the table, obviously so. But I also get, now that you point it out, why that might not be the default rhetorical stance of someone who's just trying to say "hey anti-civ, stop romanticizing a paradigm where your diabetic neighbors couldn't survive!" Because the nuance, it's important to the broader conversation, but irrelevant to a back-alley cage match over the hazardously narrowed question, "society, yes or no?"

As for anarchists, god, I know what you mean. I don't think anarchism is exclusively for young impatient people who don't want to bother learning a system that's obviously fucked and needs to be thrown away (without learning any lessons about how to rebuild the good or vital bits). I think it's a diverse movement, and a useful political guillotine to apply pressure against abuses of the status quo - "it might hurt us too, but we can always behead ya, bougies." But it sure fuckin' does attract a type, doesn't it? The word exclusively is doing some heavy weasel work here. When I hear someone is an anarchist I tend to brace myself internally, because I know I'm about to agree with them just barely enough to have a very exhausting conversation about our ideological differences.

Definitely not anti-civ, but kind of anti-anti-anti-civ, you know. Like so many of the arguments against it are so useless and annoying that they make me yearn for the collapse of civilization.

[guqin-and-flute]

Episode 73: Koala Chlamydia Is A Problem [My Brothers, My Sister and Me Excerpt]

[MBMSAM AU] [First Installment] [Podfics!] [Ao3 Link]

[COVER ART BY THE FANTASTIC LITTLESMARTART]

Jin Zixuan: Do we want another question?

Qin Su: Sure, yeah, got one right here. 'When I was younger, I was really skinny and weak'--hey! Hey, now, negative body talk, much! That's super judgmental of yourself!

Mo Xuanyu: And of us people who are skinny and weak right now! [teasing] Right, Yao-gege?

Meng Yao: [calmly] I'm not affiliated with you.

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [cackles]

Qin Su: 'When I was a kid, I was really skinny and weak, so I made it my mission to get as jacked as possible so people would take me seriously. I put in a lot of hard work, changed my exercise routine and diet and it worked. But now, as an adult I'm a 6 foot 7 dude--'

Jin Zixuan: [incredulous] 6 foot 7 ?

Qin Su: Just a mountain of a man. '--6 foot 7 dude with serious muscle mass--'

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: [sotto voce] Good God .

Qin Su: '-- and a pretty intense resting face. I routinely make children cry just by existing and everyone shoots me nervous looks in the grocery store. It gets to me sometimes. I’m not a bad guy! I just look scary. What are some ways that I can make myself less intimidating?’

Mo Xuanyu: Huh.

Qin Su: I mean, let’s see...puppies are unintimidating. Can you devise a system where you carry a few around with you at all times? Maybe in some saddle bags, everywhere you go?

Mo Xuanyu: The movies, the gym, on dates… .

Jin Zixuan: Sure, until they start pissing down your legs. Then you’re not just unintimidating, you’re the guy no one wants to stand next to at the bus stop.

Meng Yao: I mean, it still does the job, doesn’t it?

Mo Xuanyu: You could get a butterfly tattoo, like, directly on your forehead.

Meng Yao: Okay, please explain to me your thought process on how exactly that would make anyone more approachable.

Qin Su: They still want to be able to navigate human society, A-Yu.

Mo Xuanyu: Ew, why? 

Jin Zixuan: Let’s see...what makes someone approachable….Who is the least intimidating of all of us?

Qin Su: [immediately] You.

Meng Yao: [affirming] Mm.

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: [incredulous] What?

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: Oh yeah, you’re like...you’re like a poodle. Or a--

Jin Zixuan: [highly offended] Excuse me! I'm the oldest and definitely the tallest one here!

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [ill concealed snort]

[crosstalk] Qin Su: [pityingly] Oh, da- ge .

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: Or a golden retriever.

Qin Su: Please don't tell me you think that being tall translates into you actually being scary. You’re tallest by, like, 3 inches. At most, that’s just part of the equation of being scary.

Meng Yao: And the rest of Zixuan’s equation is just filled with collared polo shirts. Which absolutely tanks the intimidation ratio.

Mo Xuanyu: That doesn't tank yours, though.

Meng Yao: I wear button downs. It’s not the same. [Vaguely disgusted undertone] Collared polos.

Jin Zixuan: Excuse you, polos are weekend wear and there is nothing wrong-- I can be intimidating!

Qin Su: [doubtfully] Ehhhhh…

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [badly stifled snickers]

[crosstalk]Jin Zixuan: I can! Just because I’ve never had to intimidate you --

Qin Su: Let's just say; citation needed

Mo Xuanyu: Please, jiejie has you beat.

Jin Zixuan: [indignant] Wha--

[crosstalk] Qin Su: He's right, gege; an unopened jar of mayonnaise has you beat. And I'm no unopened jar of mayonnaise. 

Mo Xuanyu: That shit is opened .

Meng Yao: That’s a Tinder profile quote.

Qin Su: What? 'Spicier than mayo?'

Mo Xuanyu: [half singing, half chanting] ‘My mayo brings all the boys to the yard, and they’re like-- [normal voice] this is really underwhelming.’

Meng Yao: [musing] ‘Saltier than soy sauce, spicier than mayo….’

Qin Su: Why do we always come back to food? Are our Skype calls haunted by starving Victorian ghost children? Are we possessed?

Mo Xuanyu: [mournful, high pitched, bad British accent] ‘My name is Bartholemew and I’m starving. Please, spare some mayo.’

Meng Yao: It’s your own fault if none of you bother to eat before we record. You all had the schedule.

Mo Xuanyu: [crunches loudly near mic]

Meng Yao: [falsely happy] Hey, thanks! Thank you so much, A-Yu, love the level spike on that one. Editing mouth noises out of our podcast makes my day brighter.

Jin Zixuan: [under his breath] Just...unbelievable….You all….

Qin Su: [smiling] I think we broke him.

Meng Yao: [laughing] Zixuan is limping behind the conversation indignantly, brandishing his cane….

Mo Xuanyu: [sympathetically] Awww.

Jin Zixuan: I--! I am a high powered businessman! I am trained in martial arts and archery and swordsmanship --

Mo Xuanyu: [mouth full] Oh please, gege, you’re a pod caster.

Jin Zixuan: [forcefully] I am a CEO--

[crosstalk] Qin Su: [ignoring him] I think Yao-gege is somehow the most and least intimidating out of all of us at the same time, if we're all being completely honest with ourselves and our place in the world.

Mo Xuanyu: Aww, I thought I was at least a contender!

Qin Su: Honey, you're feral. There's a difference.

Mo Xuanyu: What does a kid have to do around here to be intimidating?

Meng Yao: Learn how to chew with your mouth closed, for one.

Jin Zixuan: [indignantly] A-Yao? Are you not going to deny this?

[Brief silence]

Meng Yao: [calmly] I don't think I'm scary.

Qin Su & Mo Xuanyu: [instant uproarious laughter]

Jin Zixuan: Oh, come on! He's like...a little koala bear or something! How is that scary!

Meng Yao: [offended] Excuse me--

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [still laughing] I’m gonna pee --

Meng Yao: -- koalas have smooth brains and eat poisonous leaves all day. Are you calling me a poisonous idiot bear?

Qin Su: [wheezes] Only in private.

Mo Xuanyu: [laughter trailing off] Wait, wait, hold on. Don’t all koalas have chlamydia or something?

Qin Su: [renewed laughter]

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [startled laugh] What?

Mo Xuanyu: Chlamydia! I think that I read--!

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: Oh my god, I think I’ve actually heard that. The plague, the bubonic plague, isn’t it? Or that--Some sort of--that disease people used to get where bits of you fall off?

Qin Su: Beheadings?

Meng Yao: [voice strangled from laughter] Yes, A-Su, that ancient disease the French Revolution that all koalas have--

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: [snickering]

Mo Xuanyu: [loud and close to mic] LEPROSY .

[crosstalk] Qin Su: Ow--

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: Holy shit--

Mo Xuanyu: It’s leprosy and you’re thinking of armadillos, da-ge. 

Jin Zixuan: [muttering] Aren’t we all….

Qin Su: [solemnly]  Armadillos and guillotines. Every damn minute of every damn day.

Mo Xuanyu: And I googled it, I’m right; koala chlamydia is a problem.

Meng Yao: And we’ve just found the title of this episode.

Qin Su: If most koalas have chlamydia, I feel like they have other problems they have to deal with.

Mo Xuanyu: Those pesky, promiscuous koalas!

Qin Su: Get them some damn sex ed! Use those eucalyptus leaves for protection!

Meng Yao: [pleasantly] That’s just about the worst thing I’ve heard all day.

Mo Xuanyu: Eugh, that menthol, though. Like Vicks for your dicks!

Meng Yao: I hate it.

[crosstalk]Jin Zixuan: [pained] PSA: don’t do that. Ever.

Qin Su: The voice of experience?

Jin Zixuan: I don’t think you actually want an answer to that, meimei.

Meng Yao: You people make me hate learning and also knowing things.

Mo Xuanyu: Also I've been looking it up and mountain lions are the ones that can have the bubonic plague.

Meng Yao: Choose your fighter; chlamydia ridden koala, leprosy ridden armadillo, or mountain lion with the Black Death.

Qin Su: Well, at least the mountain lion could inflict some damage. Use it like a poison delivery system, like an anthrax letter to secretly infect people.

Meng Yao: [patient teacher tone] ‘A mountain lion is to an anthrax letter, like a koala is to a…?’

Qin Su: [mock frustration] Oh, man, I know this one….

Mo Xuanyu: 'I can't come into school today, I got attacked by a mountain lion.'

Qin Su: [acting concerned] 'Oh my God, are you okay? Are you gonna have scars?'

Mo Xuanyu: 'Worse. The Plague .'

Jin Zixuan:  Okay, glad we got our animal infections all sorted out--back to what we were talking about. So, riddle me this--

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [delighted, Riddlemancer voice] Rrrriddle Me Piss, kids--!

[crosstalk] Meng Yao & Qin Su: NO!

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: Oh my god --

Mo Xuanyu: [laughing] I don't actually have anything today--

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: A blessing .

Mo Xuanyu: --but I'll get you next time.

Jin Zixuan: No, I need to know, genuinely, this is not a bit-- why do you think A-Yao scarier than me?

Qin Su: I mean, what's not scary about a smooth brained bear full of toxins and chlamydia?

Meng Yao: [disgruntled] Uh huh.

Mo Xuanyu: Technically, they’re not bears, they're marsupials! And I think Yao-gege is more of an armadillo--hard on the outside--

[slight crosstalk] Qin Su: --And full of leprosy on the inside. 

Meng Yao: [further from mic, keyboard tapping] 'And to Mo Xuanyu...and Qin Su...I leave... absolutely nothing, except...this bag of dog shit and...spiders…..'

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [laughing]

[crosstalk] Qin Su: Awww, A-Yu, we're being written out of his will again!

Jin Zixuan: Listeners, am I wrong? Am I crazy? He’s the size of a toddler--

[slight crosstalk] Meng Yao: [still away from mic, keyboard tapping] ‘And to Jin Zixuan...I leave--’

Jin Zixuan: He looks like a sugar glider baby that got turned into a human man--

[slight crosstalk] Meng Yao: ‘This box...of useless...tetanus filled screws….’

Qin Su: Da-ge--

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: ‘--that i...encourage him to use…--’

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [snickering]

Meng Yao: ‘As acupuncture needles.’ There. Sent to the notary. Now, what were we talking about, again?

Qin Su: Da-ge, all those things might be true--

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [flatly] Wow.

Qin Su: But here’s a test. What would you do to someone picking on A-Yu in school?

Jin Zixuan: [immediate, sounding businesslike and slightly aggressive] I would contact their parents and set up a meeting with the school officials and make it very clear that they are never to do that again.

Qin Su: [grinning] Okay. Yao-gege, what would you do to someone picking on A-Yu in school?

Meng Yao: [calmly] Absolutely nothing you could prove in a court of law.

Mo Xuanyu: [bursts out laughing]

[crosstalk] Qin Su: I mean--

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: Uhhhh--

Qin Su: You see? Also-- [quick sing-song voice] 🎵 This is a joke, for legal reasons, this is a joke 🎵 [normal voice] He’s got that--that--

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [lingering laughter] Yeah, it's that menace. Da-ge, you’re like--you’re like if a duckling--okay, you remember when I brought you to Hot Topic? You were like a duckling at a Death Metal concert.

Jin Zixuan: [defensively] The music was so loud--

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [pityingly] Oh, Zixuan.

Qin Su: You're like if a golf course got turned into a human. 

Meng Yao You're what would happen if you gave mac and cheese a social security card and keys to a lamborghini.

Jin Zixuan: [unamused] Okay.

Mo Xuanyu: [laughing] You're the lightly salted almonds of people. 

Qin Su: You're like a wholesome Hallmark movie fucked the concept of the suburbs.

Jin Zixuan: [unamused] Sure. Sure.

Meng Yao: You emanate the peril of a box of lethargic kittens.

Jin Zixuan: Wow. My own family. This is coming from the physical manifestation of a My Chemical Romance song--

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [smug] You say that like it’s a bad thing.

Jin Zixuan: -- and the woman who cries at the Land Before Time every time she watches it. I think this is a case of glass houses, here. Let ye who are intimidating... 

Qin Su: Oh, so we’re not roasting Yao-gege back?

Meng Yao: Not sure how me being compared to a STD riddled marsupial for about 5 minutes straight escaped your notice, A-Su, but alright. 

Jin Zixuan: I feel that you are all being...heinously short sighted, here. Are you seriously trying to tell me that A-Yu is scarier than me, a full grown man?

Meng Yao: I would certainly be more warranted in my concern about him stabbing me than I would about you.

Mo Xuanyu: Oh my God, gege, that was like 5 years ago and I already said I was sorry--

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: [loudly] What--

[crosstalk] Qin Su: Did we actually help this person? I mean--

Mo Xuanyu: We always help, jiejie.

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: Hold on--

Qin Su: We learned a lot about exactly how disturbing the animal kingdom is, but….

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: No, go back--

[slight crosstalk] Meng Yao: Dress like a middle aged accountant, share minion memes on Facebook, and buy your son a puppy so you have an excuse to talk to the dog and not people. There you go. Done.

Jin Zixuan: No, rewind--Xuanyu, you stabbed our brother? 

[brief silence]

Qin Su: [brightly] Well, that's going to do it for us today, folks--!

Jin Zixuan: A-Yu!

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: It was only a little!

Jin Zixuan: How can you stab someone a little ?! 

[crosstalk] Qin Su: Thank you so much for listening in this week--

Jin Zixuan: With what ? Why?!

Mo Xuanyu: It honestly wasn’t that bad, he made it sound like--

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: That's not an answer --

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [begins laughing]

Jin Zixuan: A-Yao--!

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [still laughing]

Qin Su: [brightly]  We hope you enjoyed our enlightening romp, here! We want to thank Sister Sledge for the use of the song We Are Family. A-Yu, how about that last Yahoo?

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [farther from mic, clearly grinning] Ohhh, boy. 

Mo Xuanyu: Okay, okay--anonymous Yahoo Answers user asks….[exaggerated, desperate voice] ‘I can’t afford a freezer. Where do I put my deer meat?’

[Outro music begins quietly]

Qin Su: [laughs] I’m Qin Su.

Jin Zixuan: [sighs, disgruntled] I’m Jin Zixuan.

Meng Yao: [grinning] I’m Meng Yao.

Mo Xuanyu: [sheepish] I’m Mo Xuanyu.

Qin Su: And this has been My Brothers, My Sister, And Me! Thank you to everyone, see you next week and remember; send your trash dad straight to jail!

[cryingcow]

Character Story - Mine (Holiday) [RGGO]

Due to certain personal circumstances, I’ve moved up Mine’s story on the list. Thank you @chaoticcandies​ and @firstorderglory​ for the request!

Story: Right before Mine goes on his Okinawa field trip, Daigo informs him that another one of Kiryu’s bodyguards has been killed. Daigo asks him to investigate while in Okinawa to see whether someone does or does not have a plan to assassinate Kiryu. Mine solves the problem by funding and formulating Kiryu’s assassination plan himself.

Daigo: “Now Mine, I want you to make sure Kiryu-san is safe, okay?”

Mine, buying several rifles: “Yes, Daigo-san.”

Daigo: “That means I want him alive and not dead, you hear me?”

Mine, writing Kiryu’s name on his portable guillotine: “Loud and clear, Daigo-san. :)”

Notes:

1) Match pump - “lighting a match and stopping the fire with a water pump”. In other words, solving a problem that you yourself made in the first place. The phrase also came up back in Sera’s story, I think.

2) Like a beehive - “turmoil”

.

CHAPTER 1

.

|The Nishikiyama Family field trip by Kanda completed their itinerary without delay, and they returned back home. However, Mine remained in Okinawa on his own . . .|

Boy: “Ojiisan! It’s the long-awaited summer vacation, play together with us more!”

Kiryu: “Yeah, let’s invite everyone to play baseball later.”

Boy: “Hooray! Absolutely, Ojiisan!!”

Girl: “Ojiisan! I can’t find my colored pencils . . .”

Kiryu: “Recall when you last used them . . . maybe you’ll find them soon?”

Girl: “Hmm . . . where could they have gone?”

Mine: “. . . Is this the orphanage ‘Morning Glory’?”

Mine: (. . . Indeed, for me to be ‘the’ Fourth Chairman’s bodyguard . . .)

----

|A few days before the Nishikiyama Family field trip.|

{Mine knocks on Daigo’s door and enters.}

Mine: “Excuse me.”

Daigo: “Mine, I’m happy to see you. I heard from Kanda, are you going to Okinawa?”

Mine: “Yes . . . I’ll be in trouble with Kanda-no-aniki otherwise. He doesn’t care that it’s inconvenient for me.”

Daigo: “Heh . . . However, this time it’s convenient.”

Mine: “. . . What do you mean?”

Daigo: “There’s a problem in Okinawa. It cannot be made public.”

Mine: “. . . Is it related to Kiryu-san?”

Daigo: “. . . As expected, you make good guesses. That’s correct.”

{Daigo is silent for a few seconds.}

Daigo: “The Fourth Chairman is secretly being guarded in Okinawa.  . . . But the other day, one of the escorts was killed.”

Mine: “So you’re asking me to investigate.”

Daigo: “Yeah . . . many people in the Tojo Clan don’t like Kiryu-san. If someone dies because of that, it will cause unnecessary waves in the organization . . . Investigate this matter. And ensure the safety of the orphanage . . . Mine, can I ask this of you?”

----

Mine: (. . . Nothing else to do about it. It’s a direct order from Daigo-san. I should set aside my personal feelings and fulfill my mission. Now, I was able to confirm Kiryu-san’s appearance. Should I join the escort staff . . . ?)

----

Mine: “Are you Chinen?”

Chinen: “Mine-san? I’ve been waiting for you. Let’s move over here . . .”

Chinen: “I and Osugi, the escort who was killed, were keeping an eye on ‘Morning Glory’. That night . . . Osugi and I were doing different things. The attack happened then . . . The next morning, Osugi was found floating along Kubochi River . . . he was shot in the head at close range.”

Mine: “What is the criminal’s aim?”

Chinen: “That’s still unknown . . . However, investigations are underway on those who are connected to Morning Glory. Apparently a man named Teruya who is helping Morning Glory is being looked into.”

Mine: “To survey the supporters of Morning Glory instead of the orphanage directly . . . how strangely roundabout.”

Chinen: “Yes. So I thought I’d get the information and went straight to that Teruya . . . but he was being strangely vigilant, I didn’t get anything out of him at all.”

Mine: (It’s obviously not the work of a civilian. It’s not unreasonable to be wary, but . . .)

Mine: “There must be a reason for this Teruya to be vigilant. It might be best for me to listen to his story. Show me to Teruya.”

----

Teruya: “I’m very sorry for the other day. For that person to be Mine-san’s subordinate . . .”

Mine: “No, there appears to be a misunderstanding . . .”

Teruya: “I see . . . so why is someone like Mine-san here?”

Mine: “I heard you are in a critical situation as someone minding the orphanage ‘Morning Glory’. Maybe I can help . . . If you don’t mind, could you tell us the story?”

Teruya: “. . . Actually, the company’s server was hacked and the stolen information is being used as blackmail. The other day, yakuza-like men rushed into the office and said to give them 200 million if I didn’t want anything to happen to my customers . . .”

Mine: “Did you pay?”

Teruya: “No, I couldn’t come up with the money right away, so they’ll wait a week for me to ready it by then . . .”

Mine: “I see . . . the next time the men arrive, prepare the money. And for the hacking, I’ll provide you with the security we use.”

Teruya: “Th-Thank you very much . . . but, to give them the 200 million . . .”

Mine: “I’ll get it back later. We’ll let them grab the money and swim home so we can gather information.”

Teruya: “Will the plan really work that well?”

Mine: “Please be assured. Leave everything to me.”

----

{Mine and Chinen are hiding behind a corner as they follow the yakuza-like men with the money.}

Chinen: “They don’t seem to notice our trail . . .”

Mine: (Get back the money, extract information from them, hit their organization, rebuild Teruya’s business . . . then the orphanage is protected and business is completed. But-- Is that really okay? The escort was killed because he tried to protect Morning Glory . . . in other words, people were sacrificed because of civilians like Kiryu. Daigo-san was worried, but that a situation like this could greatly shake up the Sixth Chairman’s structure . . . Then what I really need to do now--)

{A noise comes from their hiding place.}

Yakuza-like Man A: “. . . Oi, who’s there!! Come out!!”

Chinen: “! Mine-san, I’m sorry . . .”

Mine: “. . . No, it’s just as well. There are no witnesses and I can hit them here.”

Yakuza-like Man A: “I’ll tell you what to hit! Did you come here to get the money back?!”

Yakuza-like Man B: “We’ll make you spit it out!!”

{Mine beats them up.}

Yakuza-like Man A: “Huwee . . .”

Yakuza-like Man B: “That guy has the money, let’s run!!”

{The other two run away.}

Mine: “Chinen, chase them!”

Chinen: “Yes!”

{Chinen runs after the two.}

Mine: “Oi, you . . .”

Yakuza-like Man A: “H-Hiii?! Do-Don’t kill me!!”

Mine: “I won’t kill you. I just have a request for you . . .”

Yakuza-like Man A: “Re-Request . . . ?”

Mine: “Get in touch with your boss right now.”

Yakuza-like Man A: “Wha . . . What do you want with my boss?”

Mine: “Hmph . . . would you rather die here?”

Yakuza-like Man A: “I-I understand!! I’ll do as you say!!”

{The yakuza-like man makes a call.}

Yakuza-like Man A: “I-I’m sorry, Boss. I’ll hand over the phone now . . .”

Mine: “. . . Are you the boss of this guy?”

Man: “Wh-Who are you?”

Mine: “Heh. Don’t worry about that.  . . . I’m your collaborator.”

.

-END-

.

CHAPTER 2

.

Man: “. . . A collaborator? Who are you.”

Mine: “You don’t need to know that.”

Man: “. . . Do you think we’d trust someone no one knows?”

Mine: “. . . How about credit? Heh. I’ll give you 500 million. How’s that?”

Man: “5-500 million . . . ?! You’re bluffing . . .”

Mine: “You can decide later whether it’s a bluff or not.”

Man: “. . . Why would you go so far . . .”

Mine: “What you’re attempting to do is convenient for me . . . that’s all there is.”

Man: “. . .”

Man: “Bring the money and let my subordinate guide you. Once I receive it, then I’ll trust you.”

Mine: “Understood.”

Mine: “Oi.”

Yakuza-like Man A: “Hiii . . . ! Y-Yes . . .”

Mine: “The boss wants to see me. Take me to him.”

----

Mine: “The promised 500 million. Also the 200 million taken from Teruya.”

Boss: “. . . Certainly. You did bring it. I trust you. I’m Inami, leader of the Inami Family. You want to cooperate with our plan, but how much do you know?”

Mine: “Your purpose is to encroach into Okinawa’s resort development plans, which have been stopped for several months. The orphanage supported by Teruya is on the planned development site. Teruya is being threatened to acquire the land. Is it because Kiryu Kazuma is on that land that you chose such a roundabout method?”

Inami: “. . . That’s right. Previously, the Tojo Clan’s Tamashiro Family was aiming for that land . . . They were almost destroyed by Kiryu. It’s a well-known story around these parts. We don’t attack the orphanage directly because we fear Kiryu’s retaliation. We don’t have enough weapons and soldiers to deal with Kiryu.”

Mine: “What if I said I would pay for that?”

Inami: “! No way . . . you want Kiryu to be . . . ?”

Mine: “No need to snoop around any deeper. However, hasn’t my financial strength given me ‘credit’?”

Inami: “. . . All right.”

Mine: “Heh. It was nice to meet you, Inami-san.”

Mine: (These guys will get rid of Kiryu as part of their job. Kiryu’s existence is Daigo-san’s Achilles heel. I will cut off any future worries here.)

----

|That night. Mine met up with Chinen while hiding his relationship with Inami.|

Chinen: “I see . . . it was the work of the Inami Family? Was their aim to crush Morning Glory without provoking the Fourth Chairman . . . ?”

Mine: “Yeah. I was careless and let him escape, but I heard their goal.”

Chinen: “But what do we do? Even if we know who the enemy is, there’s only two of us. This is originally a top secret mission. We can’t expect support from the Head Family.”

Mine: “The enemy will try to do more damage to Teruya. Leave that to me. You should go back to being Kiryu-san’s bodyguard.”

Chinen: “U-Understood!”

----

|A few days later.|

Teruya: “--Then, I will try to do as Mine-san says.”

Mine: “This is expected to increase sales by 20%. Management should be fairly stable.”

{Someone knocks on the door and enters.}

Yakuza A: “Sorry for intruding when you’re busy, Teruya-san.”

Teruya: “Who are you guys . . . ?!”

Yakuza A: “Teruya-san’s place seems to still be fine, so we thought we’d like to get a little more money . . .”

Teruya: “I-I have no money to pay you!!”

Mine: “. . . What do you mean by coming to the office without an appointment? Truly there is no common sense among yakuza.”

Yakuza B: “Oh yeah? And who are you . . . ?”

Mine: “Would you like to be sent back quickly?”

Yakuza A: “Don’t be a fool!! We’ll beat you both up!!”

{Mine beats them up and sends them running.}

Mine: “That doesn’t mean they won’t come here again. Let’s keep meeting up here regularly for a while.”

Teruya: “I sincerely thank you very much.”

Mine: “Hmph. No, this is all for Morning Glory.”

----

Inami: “As mentioned, those at the bottom that I sent don’t know about you.”

Mine: “Yeah, thanks to that, Teruya trusts me completely.”

Inami: “. . . Phew, I’m glad you’re on our side.”

Mine: “Until Kiryu has been done away with . . . perform the next step in the plan well.”

Inami: “Should we take over the system by exploiting the security vulnerabilities introduced into Teruya’s company?”

Mine: “Yeah. I’ll then act like I noticed the exploitation and stop it.”

Inami: “So it’s a match pump?  . . . You’re a con artist.”

----

|A few more days later.|

Inami: “Hehe. Thanks to you, Teruya’s company is running smoothly. But is it necessary to help Teruya just to get rid of Kiryu?”

Mine: “There is this situation here . . . That being said, the weapons have been procured . . . how are things on your end?”

Inami: “We’ve pulled out enough men from the surrounding organizations to strengthen our force . . . are you ready to go anytime?”

Mine: “Is that so . . . then let us move the plan to the final stage. Kidnap Teruya tonight and have him call Kiryu as a hostage.”

Inami: “! Having a hostage to block his movements would have Kiryu like a beehive, right?”

Mine: “That’s right. Don’t mess it up.”

Inami: “We’ve set up the table this far. Failure isn’t an option.”

Mine: “I’m counting on it.”

----

Yakuza A: “Thank you for your hard work.”

Mine: “The confrontation happens tomorrow. Don’t mess it up.”

Yakuza A: “Yes sir!!”

{The yakuza runs off.}

?: “Huh? Mine-san?”

Mine: “!”

Chinen: “Mine-san, why did you come out of the Inami Family office . . . ?!”

Mine: “Chinen . . . ! You . . . should be monitoring the orphanage . . .”

Mine: (Damn . . . I was caught off guard . . . ! I should have foreseen that something would go wrong . . . !)

.

-END-

.

CHAPTER 3

.

Chinen: “Mine-san . . . you’re getting along very well with the Inami Family . . . what is the meaning of this . . . ?”

Mine: (Shit . . . I wasn’t careful of my actions . . .)

Mine: “. . . Chinen. It was wrong to keep quiet. But please calm down and listen.”

Chinen: “. . .”

Mine: “As you can see, I have a cooperative relationship with the Inami Family. But that’s to extract their information.”

Chinen: “Then it wouldn’t be necessary to hide it from me. I’ve never been in contact with the Inami Family.”

Mine: “That is . . .”

Chinen: “Don’t try to deceive me! Mine-san, are you connected with the Inami Family?!”

Mine: (Tch . . . Is it impossible to salvage the situation anymore . . . ? Then I’ll have to get rid of him here--)

Chinen: “. . . Just kidding. Ahaha.”

Mine: “? . . .”

Chinen: “Ahaha. Don’t worry. Actually, I’m also a traitor.”

Mine: “. . . What did you say?”

Chinen: “I’m also colluding with the Inami Family, trying to crush Morning Glory. Are you surprised? So was I when I heard Mine-san had joined hands with Inami. But I agree with assassinating Kiryu to wake up Daigo-san. I’ll cooperate too!!”

Mine: (. . . Have I been turned around? Was it all by Chinen’s hand from the start?)

Chinen: “I’ve heard the plan from Inami. Let me in on it too! Mine-san!”

----

Mine: (If everything goes as planned, Inami, who has kidnapped Teruya, should have gotten in touch to call Kiryu . . .)

Haruka: “Ojiisan! Are you really going out alone . . . ?!”

Kiryu: “Yeah . . . Teruya’s life is in danger if I don’t obey.”

Haruka: “Could it be the Tamashiro Family who has Teruya-no-ojiisan, just like before?”

Kiryu: “No, that is absolutely impossible. At the time, Daigo promised, ‘I will not touch Okinawa’. He’s not one to break his promises.”

Haruka: “. . . not Daigo-san . . . ? Then, who on earth . . . ?”

Kiryu: “It doesn’t matter who they are. Teruya is a friend who supports Morning Glory. You can’t abandon your friends. Isn’t that right?”

Mine: “! . . .”

Haruka: “Ojiisan . . . you’re come back, right?”

Kiryu: “Yeah, I’m definitely coming back. Haruka, look after the kids while I’m gone.”

Haruka: “Yup . . . ! Please take care, Ojiisan.”

Mine: (Kiryu’s words . . . he’s not riding on his strength. He should know what would happen when he boldly goes out alone. Nevertheless . . . Friends . . . ? Even if he’s just a total stranger who’s in it for the money . . . !)

Mine: (. . . Kuh. That is Kiryu Kazuma . . . the man Daigo-san is aiming for . . .)

----

Inami: “To really show up alone . . . the legendary yakuza seems to know no fear . . .”

Teruya: “Ki-Kiryu-san . . . I’m sorry . . .”

Kiryu: “Teruya . . . ! Are you hurt . . . ?!”

Inami: “Oops, don’t move, Kiryu . . . if you move, this gun will blow his head away, okay?”

Kiryu: “Taking a civilian as a hostage . . . you’re a lowlife.”

Inami: “Anyway . . . is it wrong for a yakuza to get what they want by any means necessary?”

{A big group arrives.}

Kiryu: “! . . .”

Inami: “You notice? Countless muzzles are aimed towards you . . . you’re already a trapped mouse!”

Mine: (It seems that things are going according to plan . . .)

Kiryu: “At the time, Daigo promised, ‘I will not touch Okinawa’. He’s not one to break his promises.”

Kiryu: “It doesn’t matter who they are. Teruya is a friend who supports Morning Glory. You can’t abandon your friends. Isn’t that right?”

Mine: “. . .”

Mine: “. . . Hmph. I’m hesitating.”

----

Chinen: “Mine-san! This is the end. We have Kiryu covered from the rear--”

Mine: “--No, I can’t let this go through.”

Chinen: “Mine-san, what are you saying . . . ?”

Mine: “I’m cautious. Until I am certain of something, I try not to come to conclusions. In other words . . . Kiryu’s murder is on hold.”

Chinen: “! Do you mean to betray us . . . ?! Why now . . . !”

Mine: “Hmph. You don’t need to know.”

Chinen: “Don’t play around . . . !! It’s only a little longer until Kiryu can be killed!!! If you get in the way, we’ll kill you too!!!!”

{Mine defeats all of them, and they all collapse.}

Mine: “Now, the reinforcements are taken out . . .”

Mine: (The rest depends on your efforts. Please do your best to hold on . . . Fourth Chairman.)

----

Inami: “Kuh . . . Reinforcements haven’t come yet?!”

Kiryu: “What’s wrong. You seem to be getting very impatient?”

Inami: “Sh-Shut up!! Do-Don’t move!! You want something to happen to him?!”

----

Mine: “The distance is roughly 200 meters . . . Well, that’s no problem . . . I didn’t think the rifle I bought would be used for this . . .”

{A shot rings through the air.}

----

Inami: “Guaaa?! M-My hand?!”

Teruya: “Hi-Hiiii?!”

{Teruya breaks away from his hold and runs.}

Inami: “W-Wait! Did he escape--?!”

Kiryu: “I don’t know who . . . but someone helped.”

Inami: “O-Oh no--”

{Kiryu beats everyone up.}

----

Mine: “Is that the ‘Dragon of Dojima’ . . . ?”

Mine: “Heh, you’re too obstinate.”

Chinen: “Because of you, my plan is ruined . . . My sister and her husband committed suicide from a large debt because Daigo stopped the Okinawa resort plan . . . ‘Protecting Kiryu’s whereabouts’ is a dumb reason! Killing Kiryu so that Daigo will taste the sadness of losing a loved one-- guhaa . . . !”

{Chinen gets punched by Mine and collapses once again.}

Mine: “I’m not interested in your story.”

----

|Thus . . .|

Woman in swimsuit: “Um . . . are you alone?”

Mine: “Am I? As you can see, I’m alone.”

Woman in swimsuit: “Yes . . . sorry for suddenly calling out to you. So . . . are you sightseeing in Okinawa?”

Mine: “No. Had to do a bit of business from Tokyo.”

Woman in swimsuit: “You’re from Tokyo?! I hear the city is nice! So . . . have you finished your business yet?”

Mine: “Yeah. I just had to handle some trivial trouble. It was a minor job.”

Mine: (Teruya’s company is safe after what happened. Both Inami and the Inami Family have been taken care of . . . I’ve reported to Daigo-san that everything was the undertaking of Chinen.)

Woman in swimsuit: “U-Um . . . In that case, why don’t we have a meal together at a nearby shop?”

Mine: “. . . Heh. Yeah, if it’s okay with you.”

Woman in swimsuit: “R-Really?! I’m glad . . . !”

Mine: (Kiryu Kazuma . . . I understand why Daigo-san looks up to you. I withdrew this time . . . heh. Do you have any idea what’s coming next? . . . Fourth Chairman.)

.

-END-

Masterlist

[aerialflight]

Fic Recs (mostly Naruto cause I read too many good fics in the fandom and now I'm in hell)

[Naruto]

Spirit-Touched by phooykazooi

Once upon a time, the Haruno clan were priests. It was said that they were spirit-touched, and that they walked among the downtrodden and the poor, and did not bow to royalty.

Or, an AU in which Sakura can see spirits.

Part 1 of The Realms Between

(Really, and I mean REALLY fantastic Shikamaru & Sakura friendship! Fantastic, beautiful writing, and such good worldbuilding, god, and the Haruno family is so badass!! Sakura and everything she does makes me want to scream!! Please read!)

Final Evaluation by Do_the_Cool_Whip

Progress evaluations are one-on-one consultation meetings between academy students and their teacher. Their purpose is to inform academy students of their strengths and weaknesses and guide them down their ideal path to becoming a strong shinobi. Upon graduating the academy and passing their jounin-sensei test, new genin return to the academy for one final consultation. (Or: The story of what happens when Umino Iruka uses his final meetings with his students as way to send them off to become the best shinobi they can possibly be.)

(Iruka! Is! The! Best! Teacher! Ever! End of story!!! Great interpretation of all the characters and their capabilities and I am so so excited for the sequel that will undoubtedly come! XD)

Celestial Bodies by Oceanbreeze7

Sasuke looked at the fire, eyes glowing red as the mutated corrupted seal on his throat. "Amaterasu blessed me. I see things. Like you with two normal eyes and the Hokage. And Sakura with a seal on her forehead. And I run Chidori through Naruto's heart. I keep trying to kill him. Over and over. And that knuckleheaded idiot never gives up.”

(Don't you get it? I saw it. The moon will bleed, the nations will die. The world is going to end.)

Part 1 of Celestial Bodies and Anomalies

(I swear, this fic freaking elevated my expectations on Sasuke-centric fics in general holy hell. Also, read the fucking sequel after this cause EVERYTHING GOES NUTS AND THE PLOT GOES OFF AND I'M HERE FOR THIS SHIT. Fucking Uchihas man. Also, you wouldn't think this series is funny, but it is, and it's amazing.)

A step to the left (and right off the cliff) by weavingBlue

Team Seven starts off on a different foot and Sasuke's canonical journey to get stronger goes off the rails a bit. It all works out though. Probably.

(This fic went in a direction I didn't expect and it's GLORIOUS. SO FUNNY, I honestly was dying while I was reading this. Please give this a chance!!)

promises by BombsAreForBabies

It's her first kiss and Naruto's last. She promises him that she will bring Sasuke home. It's his dying wish, after all.

(Naruto bleeds out faster than the kyuubi can heal him.

Sakura learns that being a ninja is more than fancy jutsu and fun.

Sasuke does not know that he just killed his best friend and turned his most loyal comrade into his worst enemy.)

(Listen LISTEN I know this sounds depressing but the relationship developments and slow healing is EVERYTHING and I think it's absolutely worth it to read this. Sakura's characterization is so good and Kakashi makes me want to hug him. A lot.)

Fang Under Fang by Vroomian

"Are we sure he's really an Inuzuka?"

(The answer is no.)

-

Someone reborn as Inuzuka Kiba not only has to deal with bullshit ninja magic, but soulmates being A Thing.

(Really good self-insert fic and its platonic soulmates, not romantic! I am always here for a good Kiba-centric fic and I won't say who the soulmate is. It's unexpected but so, so good! Trust me!)

Haunt The Lonely by Tht0neGal666

(Series where Sakura can see ghosts and the Things she gets up to due to this ability. The fics are short but man, you can already see the shifting differences in Team 7's dynamics, it's great!)

Perception by Ellie_Enchanted

Naruto can sense auras, which throws everything off it's balance. Because really, with someone as open as Naruto running around and peering into the depths of people's souls, something is bound to change. In other words, sometimes all that's needed is a push. Also, Sasuke apparently glows.

(Naruto the empath changing the plot and making it Better and I am loving it!)

Crossfire by DejaVu22

Following the events of Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke never makes it to Orochimaru's hideout. Instead, he is waylaid by a one-eyed man named Tobi, a man possessing a Sharingan, a terrifying dual personality, a penchant for always being late, and a single-minded mission to stop the Akatsuki in their tracks. When Sasuke runs into Naruto again years later, he must ally with his old teammate in order to protect him from the Akatsuki, while keeping him out of the two man war Tobi and Sasuke have started against the dangerous organization.

(I honest to god can't stop cackling when I read this, the Sasuke & Obito dynamic is so freaking chaotic and Sasuke's characterization is the best thing I've ever read. This boi is a mEsS and I'm fucking rooting for him. He cares so much! There's secret identity shenanigans happening on sasuke's end and it's HILARIOUS! This is the duo I never thought I needed but here it is! *cackles insanely*)

-

[Diamond no Ace]

Echo in His Hands by SportRayne (rayningnight)

Ship: Miyuki/Sawamura

What does it mean, when you remember snapshots of your own future?

Is it your future at all, if you change it?

Would you even want to change it?

(Look I am WEAK for BAMF Eijun and time travel fics and Miyuki being a tanuki bastard, okay? Time travel fic where Eijun gets feelings of people he knew before in the future. Really good so far and am so excited over this fic!)

The path we walk by WindsOfTime

Ship: Miyuki/Sawamura

Eijun goggles at the magazine she just shoved into his hands. "W-Wakana!" "I know!" she says, beaming. "That's my soulmate!!" "I know!!" "My soulmate plays baseball!!"

(Became such an instant fave so fast it's unbelievable. I LOVE THESE IDIOTS SO MUCH! Best soulmate fic in this fandom, hands down!)

-

[One Piece]

switching places by fireflywitch

Zoro is 21 and wakes up in a desert they already saved, on a ship that they burned two years ago, and standing next to a man who is supposed to be dead. Except, that can’t be right, can it?

Zoro is 19 and wakes up on a ship that’s too big, next to a robot wearing a swimsuit, and he’s supposed to fight something called a Kaido. Also, he’s missing an eye, and no one’s even a little worried about it?

(or)

Time travel is a shitshow, and Zoro didn't sign up for this.

(FUCKING HILARIOUS ZORO IS THE BEST PERSON TO SEND BACK IN TIME CAUSE HE'D BE TERRIBLE YET FANTASTIC AT IT I CAN'T MAN FIEWNOPFEW)

No Time To Crank The Sun by VIKAN

He’s surrounded by strangers, but they’re all trying to convince him otherwise. Or, Zoro faces a mysterious and relentless challenge that he just can’t wrap his head around.

(This ripped my heart open, I cried reading this my god. Please read this, the pain is so worth it and Zoro and his relationship with his crew is so good here. This reminded me why I love the Straw Hats so much!)

-

[Fairy Tail]

to learn about a lucy (with a look into the future.) by るる凪 - nagi (arurun)

A watching the future fanfic.

It's currently X781, three years before canon. A group of Fairy Tail mages find themselves in a large building, with no known way out.

They sit down, and they watch the future.

(This is so much more fun than I thought it would be and I'm so happy I found this fic. This fic reignited my old love for this fandom and I hope it does for you too!)

-

[Harry Potter]

sunflowers by Marnie27

One day, a young girl sits on the edge of a well. On this day, she falls in. Then the next, she’s not even a ‘she’ anymore. He’s Peter Pettigrew — doomed to die at the hands of his (betrayed) friend’s son.

Peter is selfish, bitter and brash. He’s not some fairy tale hero, he doesn’t care if everyone around him dies, as long as he lives. The marauders are annoying and childish. Survival is his priority, and he can’t afford to face distractions.

This just makes the fact that soulmates are now apparently a thing all the more godawful.

(And then another day years later he falls into an entirely new impossibility, Remus Lupin in tow, right into the third book of Harry Potter. Smack bang on the other Peter Pettigrew’s grave).

It’s confusing and graceless, and entirely something that would happen to him of all people.

(Self-insert fic where a girl reincarnates into Peter Pettigrew! And there are soulmates! And it's angsty and hilarious and Peter is an Asshole (somewhat unintentionally lol). Always a fan of biased pov fics and characters slowly improving themselves and their mental health! Cause dying! Is! Traumatic! *smiley face* Please read!)

-

[Crossovers]

he's a killer queen, sunflower, guillotine by hoye

Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist, Harry Potter

He has to be the weirdest Hufflepuff Harry’s ever seen. Scratch that, he’s the weirdest Hufflepuff Hogwarts has ever seen.

(One thing everyone could agree on: NEVER call Edward Elric short.)

(This is peak Edward Elric and all the best things about him and I'm just having a Good Time. Friendships! Logical solutions! Marauder screentime! And so much More! *bright grin* It's a fun place here!)

[callmegkiddo]

my gf doesn't understand what's so good about ghost and the papas.

Explain to her.

Just make a post explaining so I can show her

SO THIS BISH WILL UNDERSTAND

Okay, first off, Ghost and Tobias Forge have lore. But I'll talk about that later.

The Papa's are the representatives of the band, while the ghouls and ghoulettes are the side characters. The ones everyone else love but can't seem to have much content on.

Ghost to many people help or become coping mechanisms for people with daddy issues. It's especially apparent in the song "Kiss the GoGoat". As one of the lyrics explains dudes not giving the listener what they want and need, whilst saying that they want to become fathers to said listener.

Some Papa's are very important to us Ghesties. Copia for example is the ray of sunshine in the clergy. He's the difference as he wasn't part of the emeritus blood line. Copia is sweet, he likes to make sure everyone around him is comfortable. He's an awkward rat man. And he's special to us, he brings comfort to us.

Theres Terzo, the sex icon, if you will. He also brings comfort, but he also helps us with our confidence (mostly me). His suave nature and femininity are so entrancing, it's sometimes embarrassing to watch him because of how most of us (if not all of us in the fandom) simp for him. He's the grammy boy for crying out loud.

Papa Primo, as all of us envision is the calmer more fatherly Papa. He is shown to be sweet and try hard at being smexy-

Which is fine, we all love that for him. His garden is often showed in fanfics whenever the reader needs comfort or peace. Which is why we relate Primo to be the peaceful Papa.

Secondo is another sex icon-

We like to call him, Mr. World Wide, because of his bald ass without the papal paint. He's intimidating, but also really silly. He likes to use his voice to seduce the audience, as he has a deeper voice than the other 3. In fanfiction he is often portrayed to have anger issues and q short temper. Which many of us can relate to, even me. As the root cause of his anger is the pressure of his duties as Papa from the clergy give him stress.

Theres Nihil, the mf who keeps killing the Papa's (and seestor) he was the first Papa before Primo, Secondo, Terzo, and eventually Copia. He's the weird peepae that everyone simps for (Nihils younger self I mean). He is what drove the clergy to kill the Papa's, more specifically Seestor.

Seestor is the one who operates the clergy, the one who gives orders. She was the gf of Nihil back then, but they broke up after Nihil thought it was a good idea to kiss some random girl in the audience during a ritual-

All of these characters combined with their music, is what brings life to this band. Their lore is especially heart wrenching, as many suspect Copia will be the next in line for the guillotine.

I can't force anyone to see Ghost and force them to like it immediately, and neither should you. It becomes rude, and sometimes it can lead to manipulation. Forcing someone into an interest of yours is controlling to me, as you did so without their consent. I'm not saying your any of those, I just want you to leave people alone when they don't want any part of your interests (like dad).

And I'm not the best person to make a post explaining it when I literally just joined this fandom a month ago-

You should probably ask @ryuzatodraws for that explanation post-

[alexlwrites]

Liability

Summary: The one where your best friend of years and love of your life is getting married and wants you to be the maid of honor. Luckily for you, the best man is not exactly happy either.

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader, Jungkook x Reader

Tags: Romance, Humor, Fluff, Angst

A/n: had to repost cause someone said they couldn't find the last post for some reason.

Part 4: All I can be is sorry

(Fanfic masterlist)

(support me on my ko-fi <3 )

(<<<Part three)

“What are you doing here?” was the first thing you said and despite the many hours your friend had spent there and his spare key, the words still sounded like an accusation.

Jungkook was silent under you, holding still like he was trying to disappear, but Taehyung noticed him. “What are you doing here?” he said, voice far from welcoming.

The younger boy walked in, stepping into your living room and placing you gently on the couch “Ran into Y/N” he answered quietly “she hurt her ankle and I helped her, that’s all.”

“I didn’t know you were close.”

Jungkook waited for you to deny it, but instead you repeated your first question “What are you doing here?”

“You said you needed to talk” Taehyung answered, voice confused as if it was obvious.

“Yeah, hours ago!” you could feel the flames of anger rising within you, filled by years of frustration and the worst few weeks of your life “You can’t just show up here out of nowhere this late.”

“What are you talking about?” Taehyung sounded more and more confused, voice rising just like yours “We used to show up like this all the time”

“Not anymore! I’m not gonna show up unnanounced at your fucking house and go ‘boo’ at your fiance, so you shouldn’t do the same here!”

There was a moment of pause, a stretch of silence as Taehyung took in what you said and for a second you thought you saw a light recognition in his eyes, but Jungkook distracted you before you could look into it “I should go. I hope you feel better soon, Y/N” he turned to you and something in face made you believe he was talking about something beyond your injure.

“Thank you so much for your help, Jungkook” you smiled at him, trying to ignore Taehyung’s burning look “I’d walk you to the door, but…”

He grinned slightly and waved you away “I got it, don’t worry” when the door closed behind him, you realized neither Jungkook nor Taehyung had said goodbye to each other.

You turned your look back to your friend, noticing how for the first time how out of place he looked in your home, in your line of sight.

“Where is all your stuff?” he asked again in a quieter, more polite manner.

This was it, you thought, but the answers left your mouth much more easily than you initially believed they would “I’m moving.”

Taehyung nodded, having probably already deduced that. “Getting a bigger place?” he guessed, walking around the room trying to look casual “Is this what you wanted to talk about?”

You watched him, his steps and shifting eyes, overthinking his movements as he gave you nothing but a blank face “Bigger country.”

That made him turn and you felt panic bubble inside you, clawing the walls of your body and begging to leave whatever way it could, in screams, tears or digging nails into skin. That was the confrontation you avoided until it loomed over you like a guillotine.

“What do you mean?” he sounded strained, like he was holding back, fighting against the same panic you did, slightly closer to winning than you.

“I got a promotion. A really great offer to relocate to their English branch.” show no weakness, you told yourself, you are not asking for permission.

Taehyung did not like that.

“And what?” he threw his hands in the air, like your answer wasn’t nearly enough to satisfy him “You’re just gonna leave everything behind, just like that? What about your family?”

“My parents know and they’ve already made plans to visit. They are very excited. This is huge for me, Taehyung.”

“What about your friends?”

You scoffed “Who, Yoongi? He was the one who told me to take the job…”

“What about me, Y/N?”

Weeks ago you would have a five thousand word answer to that question. Weeks ago you asked that question before every choice you made. Weeks ago you loved him much more than you did yourself.

But now you just loved him so much it hurt and loving yourself wasn’t nearly as painful.

“You don’t need me here.”

He shook his head angrily “You can’t seriously believe that’s true.”

You shrugged, but that wasn’t enough for him again “Is this about Haewon? About the wedding?”

Back was the panic and it begged you to let it react, to take control over your body so it could pump adrenaline into it and force you to ignore any physical or emotional pain and run away. “What do you mean?” you asked, voice sounding so quiet under the thunderous beat of your heart.

Taehyung turned his back to you, hunched like he was hiding something “Nothing, never mind.”

But you knew better. Something in you was attuned to him, something that grew over the years, trained to pick apart and recognize lies, half-truths and omissions, like when he said a scratch didn’t hurt as kids or when he told you he loved you as adults.

That something brought you to the epiphany you spent years avoiding. “You know.” you said.

He didn’t move, still hunched in silence, and that was enough of an answer. “You know” you repeated, but now it sounded like an accusation just like the first words you directed at him that night, like you were placing blame “Oh my God, you know.”

He finally looked at you, all worried eyes and twisted fingers picking at each other and you wished you could have done something to make him feel better but you could barely breathe just like you could barely stand up, limbs and heart on fire.

“Y/N…” he started, but you didn’t let him finish. You had flames in the back of your throat forcing out all the words stuck there, pushing the questions you held back for so long they became part of the fabric of you.

“How long have you know?” you asked and he flinched at every word, but this time you didn’t stop them from coming “Why the fuck didn’t you say anything?”

Nothing in his guilty expression made you feel sorry for him, not his teary eyes, not his next words “I didn’t want to lose you.”

“You really think I would leave?” you asked and God, you wish you could stand up, wish you could push him back “You really think so little of me that you think I’d just throw our friendship in the garbage if you rejected?”

Taehyung winced as you got louder, shrinking until he looked much smaller than usual “I though things would become too awkward between the two of us.”

“Taehyung did you really think I expected anything but rejection?” tears were leaving you as your frustration rose “Did you really think years of you parading girlfriends in front of me gave me hope? Lead me on? How much of an idiot do you think I am?”

He shook his head, getting close to you and kneeling on the floor by your legs, faces leveled with each other “I just could never bring myself to let you down. I t-tried, you know, seeing you that way, but…”

“Please, stop talking!” you placed your hands on your ears and shut your eyes, hoping you could hide your humiliation “I don’t want to hear all the ways you tried to force yourself to love me!”

He took your hand between his, forcing your arms down “I do love you!”

“No, you don’t! Cause if you did, you would’ve said something! You wouldn’t have let me suffer in silence, you would’ve talked to me and allowed me to move the fuck on from you.”

“I’m sorry.” he sighed and although his apologies sounded sincere they meant nothing for you “I was selfish and I didn’t want you to move on from me. I still don’t want you to move away from me. I feel so-”

"No, you don't get to be sorry, you don't get to be sad or to be hurt, you don't get anything cause you got me for years.” you took your hands away, ignoring how he taken back he looked at yout outburst “For years you got me by your side watching you fall in love with different people; got me by your side at parties just for you to leave with someone else; got me by your side as your fucking bride got to choose her wedding dress and i got nothing. I didn't get to feel a thing, didn’t get to feel sorry for myself because I didn't feel like I had the right to keep you by my side. You don't get to feel shit now." the last part came out as a whisper as the energy left your body and left you empty.

You both sat in silence for a while as neither dared to say anything after that. You shut your eyes to avoid looking into his and feeling any sympathy.

Finally, you heard him stand up “Maybe I should leave” he said and he sounded almost as bad as you felt.

“No, not maybe. You should leave.”

You heard his steps as he walked, counting silently in your head to see how many it would take for him to walk out of your life.

He stopped halfway.

“You don’t have to come to the wedding.”

You scoffed “I know I don’t.”

“But I’d really love it if you did.”

“Well, you know what, for the first time I don’t really care about what you’d love, Taehyung.”

---

Jungkook sat in his car for a long time after he left you, flexing and relaxing his hand like he always did when he was nervous or stressed. From his window he could see the entrance to your building and he watched for a while, curious to see how long it would take for Taehyung to leave. When he didn’t, Jungkook drove away.

As the lights and cars passed by, he wondered if he should’ve stayed longer. If he should’ve stayed there until his hyung left, his presence sparing you of any fights or arguments.

Jungkook thought you deserved a little peace.

He remembered a time where you didn’t look so fragile and exhausted. He stored away those memories like a precious little thing, all those stolen looks he got from across Haewon’s living room kept like a treasure, because he didn’t know when he would get to see you like that again.

Jealousy and resentment settled inside of him as he drove, thinking of Taehyung’s interaction with you. What would it be like, he thought, to be so secure of his place in your life that he could just walk into your apartment and make himself at home?

Jungkook still felt like it was a bit audacious for him to show up like that and he couldn’t deny how happy he felt when it looked like you felt that too.

When he got home, Jungkook allowed himself to lie on his bed, taking in the smell of your perfume that had rubbed off on his shirt. He allowed himself to relive his night with you, happy to have a few memories to save, finally some that were his own and not borrowed glimpses. He counted on his fingers the time you laughed and said his name, the moments he had to avoid blushing like a high schooler in love.

And then he stowed them all away and reminded himself of your empty apartment and way too full heart and how your life had no place for him at the moment.