#this is why people end up dead i'm being fucking failed by these people

[boy-above]

genuinely it is amazing that i am able to even get out of bed because these past two months have been some of the worst i've had in like a decade. genuinely in a perpetual state of "why is this happening to me" and "how are things going to get better after this" and "how will i ever have a future" like shit just keeps happening one thing after another i can't rid of it

[stil-lindigo]

The problem is the main things what they’re asking for is impossible for 99% of people, if we take off for a week from our job we lose that job. If we walk out for a week from university (since emailing and asking for notes to catch up undermines the whole point) we miss critical info fail the module and fuck up our degree. sure the side stuff is more acessable but when the main strike idea can’t be put into action your going to have all the momentum and impact of a dead slug, that’s why people are having difficulties.

hi anon. I understand that, and I empathise with the people who want to be doing more but can't, because capitalist society is built to punish us whenever we attempt to fight for a better life. But, again, you're approaching this in an unnecessarily defeatist way. The strike period hasn't even started for the northern hemisphere, and you're comparing the impact of the more 'accessible' strike actions to a dead slug.

I think if you approach resistant action with the idea that only massive gestures are worth anything, you're not going to get anywhere. You can make a difference by volunteering more this week, donating more to Palestinian escape funds and aid organisations, you can buy e-sims and connect human beings during the worst period of their life. It might not mean much to you, but donating the money that gets a Palestinian family food for the day, that helps them be able to text their families overseas - small actions can and do mean the world. One day I went fuck it, and kicked up a huge fuss on twitter because Gofundme refused to transfer a Palestinian man his funds. And, because of that small action on my part, he's going to get his money, even if it's weeks late.

And, just. One more time for good measure. This strike is being called by Bisan, a Palestinian journalist in Gaza who could quite literally be killed at any second. I know you mean well, but genuinely - what alternative does she have at this moment? It's nearing the end of the fourth month of genocide in Gaza. Palestinians have spent almost one third of a year being ruthlessly murdered with practically zero effective international pushback. If they're holding onto hope that action like this can make a difference, I'm not going to be pedantic and miserly about it.

[hexhomos]

I love Mel through and through but I cannot find it in myself to say that her and Jayce should’ve continued romantically in season 2, or that meljayvik/melvik could ever work.

While she def did love Jayce in season 1 she did use him and viktor for political and financial gain. And her and viktor always hated each other (also viktors 100% a gay man)

Also I think even tho canonically labels and homophobia don’t exist in arcane it was def some form of heteronormativity that caused jaymel maybe like…. Classism or smth…. Idk 🙏

Mel and sevika is my favorite Mel ship because Mel should be with someone who won’t fold as easily as Jayce 😇

imho jayce/mel was always a relationship of convenience with a very clear economical stipulation of success that is planted all throughout s1 act 2 (mel literally walking out on jayce when he doesnt present his new gizmos on progress day bc she had already promised them to investors. lol. later on pressuring him to do a whole round of black market shakehands under HER inherited opera house which is used as a meeting point between all the corrupt topside politicians. do i even need to expand.) and its only made worse when the phony-ruler training stuff comes in and both ambessa and mel start competing to see who can manipulate jayce into making weapons for the empire faster. I've always said that storyline was inconsistent as fuck and it does a lot of flip flopping near the end of s1 (do you want weapons or not? it changes every scene.) but at least people cant call me crazy anymore bc they WERE grooming jayce into being the pliant triggerfinger figurehead and once that fails all the attention is shifted onto caitlyn, who's just so ready to fall for the bait.

Like this is why jayce brings up the investment stuff during the breakup scene. this is why mel is fighting with caitlyn against her mother at the end of the series as a complete reversal of her goals. This was supposed to be a Thing. Character development for this bit in specific was RUSHED AS FUCK since they wanted to put all of the political tidbits as far away from the core plot as possible but its still there when you look. The ''empathetic'' political stringpulling ambessa does with cait is one she has taught her daughter, and she perpetuates with jayce, who is ofc upset at all the bullshit when he realizes what's happened in the end. And that it didn't just impact him, but also viktor and the cities at large!

clean break was actually the best thing they could have done with both of these characters and for a second I didn't believe they'd HAVE the balls to do it, but I'm happy to be proven wrong lmfao! if jayvikmel has no haters im dead. I'm not even getting into that whole thing but it bothers me *so deeply* to see viktor defanged and made into a fogbrained centrist yes-man when his entire arc is about the fatal consequences generations of these rich oligarch games have had on the low class people of the undercity. One of the only scenes of him raging in the entire show is him showing his disgust for mel's weapon proposition, and we just forget that happened? nuh uh. not on my watch

[boredpotate]

Happier Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Arcane or any links. I only own the concept idea to this story and the story itself.

Concept: Isekai Fem Reader turns back time to fix her timeline, but it has unforeseen consequences.

Reader Pov

"MMMMPPPHHH!!!" I let out a muffled yell of pain. One of my kidnappers stomping on my braced leg; the leg brace being broken a while ago with some of the parts being bent or broken off.

I tried to escape, I really did, but that blow to the head really isn't me doing me any favors. They snuck me back down here to the deep end of the Undercity and once far enough away, they started their "payback" in some fucking dead end alleyway. Taking turns punching, kicking, slapping and just overall beating me to a pulp.

"Hey! Remember not to mess her up too much. We won't get paid if you break the merchandise" The woman who I determined as the boss of the rest of the group.

"Oh c'mon! We did this to get payback didn't we!?" one guy says as he kicks me on the ground as a heave for breathe.

"Yes, we did. We also all want to make an actual pay from this right?," their boss says and I can only guess the others agree, "Then we can't fucking kill her! We fuck her up, let her have what has been coming for a long time and then get paid. After that we can start making big moves down here, especially after this bitch is stuck in recovery." she says as she grabs my hair and lifts my head up to show them my state before throwing me back into the dirty alleyway floor.

"Fine. Still gonna have our fun though." Someone says kicking me in the back, the bruises that were already beginning to form from earlier assaults making the pain much worse.

I feel emotions rising again, but I don't shed tears for them. That would just make them happy. Instead I hold out and hope for this to be over soon; for the pain to just stop already. But a part that I try to bury down still sticks to my mind. A part of me that fears that this won't end, that they won't stop, they'll get carried away or change there minds.

'What if I die here?' the thought runs through my head as someone else decides to join in and get their hits in. The pain not getting any better, and only escalating as I scream out from behind my bindings.

"AAAAMMMMMPPPHHH!!!"

Powder Pov

"So what is it you wanted to talk about?" Ekko asks as we dance together as the music plays and people party and mingle around us.

"Two things. First, Y/n and I talked and she said some things that really touched me and open something up in me. So, I want to present the power cell with you. As partners, like you said you wanted to; before I walked off on you like a bitch. Sorry about that by the way." I say, feeling a little guilty now that I think back on when Ekko first asked me and I got upset at him.

"Really!? That's great! And you don't have to apologize for being upset. You were going through some things. We all do. But are you sure? You really want to do this with me?" he asks which makes me smile.

"Yes. I really do. I-I don't want to be stuck. I was scared of messing it all up and screwing things up for you too. I thought I would fail at it all..... but then Y/n talked to me. I'm still scared, but if I fail, I want to work through it. I wanna push forward and keep trying. I want to do that with you, Ekko." I admit, and he smiles and we lean into each other and have an intimate moment together on the dance floor.

Ignoring a random whistle and comment towards us from someone who is probably drunk as shit, even though the party just started.

We pull apart and continue dancing; holding each other close and I feel a weight be lifted off my shoulders. Finally feeling..... free.

"You don't know just how happy that makes me Powder. I promise you won't regret it," he says with determination in hus voice making me smile at his steeled resolve, "And the second thing?" He asks, making me a little nervouse.

"Right. So y'know how we said we would talk about our "thing" with Y/n tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Why?" he asks as he furrows his brows.

"Well when Y/n talked with me she said some things that were really touching and meaningful and then something inside me was just like 'Oh shit. I love her,' sooooo I may have kiiiiiiisssed heeer" I say as I shrink back slightly, afraid that he will be mad.

"......Okay." he says casually which makes me stunned and we stop dancing.

"Wha?"

"Okay. Surprisingly, I'm not mad."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Usually I would, but this is Y/n we're talking about. We both know we have a "thing" for her, and I honestly don't mind," he explains making me relax more as I hold his hands, "Is that weird?" He asks and I take a moment to genuinely think on it before answering.

"No, at least, I don't think it is. Even if it were the other way around, I don't think I would be mad either. As long as it's her," I say as I think back on those beautiful words that Y/n let spill from her lips. Her soft lips, "She makes me feel a certain way. Just like you. She brings something out of me that I didn't know was there." I say, and I hear Ekko chuckle.

"I know. She's also kind." "Caring too." "Loves Isha." "Always wants to help." "Cute too." "More like hot as fuck."

We bounce off of each other as we list the things we have grown to love about Y/n in just a month of knowing her. I smile and think back fondly on all the times we spent with Y/n and Isha. Just living life happily together.

"I love her, Ekko."

"I love her too." He says and we both stand there, two idiots in love with someone and wanting to bring her into our lives.

"You think.... You think she might feel the same way?" I ask him with hope in my voice.

"I don't know. You're the one who kissed her. You tell me." he says with a laugh.

"Well she didn't push me away, but she also didn't kiss back, although I think that's mostly because she was in shock. You should have seen her face."

"I got a glimpse of it when you two came back. Looked like her brain was fried" he says and we both laugh a little at that, "Since we're on the topic; how was it? The kiss?"

"It wa-"

"Hey you two!" I am interrupted by being pulled into a tight hug by none other than my sister Vi.

"Hey sis." I say in a strained voice.

"Happy you made it." Ekko says, his voice also strained and I see Cait shaking her head over Vi's shoulder.

"Of course we made it! This is a big night! Sevika's here too, but she went straight to the bar for a drink." Vi says as she somehow squeezes us tighter.

"Sweetie, you're gonna kill them if you hold them any tighter," Cait says, making Vi let go and take a step back, "You two looked like you were in a good mood. I'm guessing the energy cell was a success?" Cait asks.

"You know it. I already have it on display and ready for Powder and I to present to investors and the judges." Ekko says, making Vi perk up at the mention of my name.

"Together?" Vi asks, and both she and Cait look towards me expectantly so I give them a nod, making them both brighten up more, "That's great! Amazing! So are you two are going into this as partners?" Vi says excitedly making me smile at her encouragement.

"Of course. It's like what Y/n said. We're gonna rattle the stars." I say as I think back on those beautiful words that reached and touched such a deep part of me.

Suddenly I feel something ram into my lower back, almost throwing me off balance, begore quickly turning aroundto see Isha in a new frilly dress. Looking very happy.

"Isha! Look at you! When did you become royalty?" I ask as I kneel down to get a better look at her and she does a twirl to show off her dress to us.

"I didn't know Isha was a princess. Cupcake, why didn't you say anything?" Vi says jokingly and get's a pinch on her arm.

"I'm not a princess, and my family isn't royalty. We just collected a lot of influence over all of the years." Cait defends herself.

"So, basically royalty then." Ekko says, making the rest of us chuckle as I pick up Isha, and Caut sighs in defeat.

"Ekko! Powder! There you guys are, I've been looking for you two," I hear and turn to see Mylo and he does a double take at Vi and Cait, "Oh, hey! Good to see you two made it."

"What did you need?" I ask.

"Just wanted to let you know there's already some high profile looking people eyeing your energy cell, if you wanted to leave some early impressions on some investor's before the competition. Claggor is already showing off our plant. See?." he says as he points in a direction and we see Claggor showing off their invention to some people.

"Shouldn't you be with him?" Ekko asks and Mylo burshes it off and blows a rasberry.

"That's more of Claggor's thing. I'm better off mingling with the ladies." he says smugly and obviously eyeing at Gert on stage.

"You're such an idiot" I say as I shake my head, before feeling Ekko grab my hand as Vi tries to give him some advice on what not to do with women.

"Wanna make an impression?" Ekko asks and I look at Isha who nods her head happily.

"That looks like a yes. But first; hey sis! Cait!," I call to them and grab their attention, "Can you ask Y/n to meet us at Ekko's display? She helped us make it too, so I want her to be there when we show it off. That's fine, right?" I ask Ekko and get a nod.

"No problem! Where is she amyway? You four Are usually always hanging out together." she says with implication in her voice.

"She was sitting at the bar the last time we saw her. She should still be there," I say before adding on more thing, "And if she looks like she's in shock or contemplating something. That's fine. Just send her our way." I say we start walking away to where I would presume Ekko's display is.

"Don't worry, we'll find her." Cait says reassuringly before we start heading to the power cell; it already having people inspecting it.

"You ready?" Ekko asks me and I nod.

"Always."

Caitlyn Pov

"Can you believe it, Cupcake? Powder is gonna present with Ekko! She's finally gonna get out there and show off to the world." Vi says excitedly. Which I understand completely considering all the times I've heard about Powder holding herself back.

"She looked happy. I wonder what made her so confident to try now?"

"I'm willin' to bet it's her and Ekko's latest eye candy," Vi says with a smirk, "Those two are lovesick if you ask me." she says as we look for the girl in question around the bar area.

'Who would've thought an investigation would lead to a new addition of our family and friends.' I think back to just a month ago when we first met Y/n in this bar. I was slightly scared of her then, but afterwards she showed a much mofe gentle side of her. One that cared and laughed.

"Vi! Cait! It's good to see you two made it!" Vander calls out as he finishes serving a handful of people.

"Of course we made it. We wouln't miss such a big night." Vi says as we approach the counter.

"I saw you two lookin' around the bar. Somethin' wrong?" he asks sounding concerned.

"Nothing at all. We were just looking for Y/n. Powder and Ekko want her there with them to present their power cell, and said she should be here. Probably in an unusual state too, but Powder said that's fine." I explain to get rid of his worries.

"Oh, good. Don't need trouble on such a goon night. Last I saw she looked freaked out about somethin' before going out the back door for a breather. Though I don't know where she went afterwards, Silco and I got busy once the party started kickin' up."

"Thank you. We'll go check to see if she's still out there." I say as I glancs at Vi and nod towards the door, before making our way there.

Once outside and in the alleyway that the door leads to, we do a quick scan around to see if she's here.

"Damn. Not here either. You don't think she got drunk and wandered off do you?" Vi asks me with some worry in her voice.

"No. Vander would have told us if she drank. I also don't think he would have let her out here on her own is she was drunk."

"That's true. He wouldn't risk that on any of us." She says as she goes deeper into the alley to see if she might be nearby, and I head the opposite way towards the main street.

As I walk, I suddenly hear a small wet sound when I take a step.

'It didn't rain today.'

I take a step back and look down before kneeling to get a closer look. My eyes widen slightly at what I knew was blood. My shoe making a print of it and some drops of it surrounding the area I stepped

"You got something over there Cupcake?" Vi asks, but I don't respond. Trying not to panic.

'It could be from anything.' I thought before spotting something familiar laying near a trash bin.

"Cupcake? You okay?" Vi asks now behind me, but I get up and quickly walk towards the object and pick it up. My eyes widening.

Y/n's helmet. No doubt about it with the bunny ears Isha drew on it. It's dented in the back and I turn back to Vi, her now leaning down inspecting the blood before looking up at me and her eyes widen in fear just like my own at the helmet before looking into my eyes. We have a wordless conversation through our eyes before rushing back inside.

Y/n was in danger.

Powder Pov

"With this, it should produce a much more effecient power cell. Both for long-term use and energy efficiency. We...." Ekko continues to explain to people that have shown interest in the energy cell. It's been going great. Isha seemed to like the attention when we mentioned how she along with Y/n helped us with putting it together. Speaking of.

'Where is she?'

It shouln't be taking this long for Vi and Cait to find her. Unless Y/n herself didn't want to come, but they would have told us if Y/n refused.

I take a glance around the bar and try to see if I can spot her when I see Vi and Cait rushing in through the back door, not caring to close it. I see them rush over to the bar and immediately grabbing Dad, Silco, Sevika and Benzo's attention, as I see fear on their faces. My heart starts beating faster at their expressions and only get's worse when I see the other three's expressions go from shocked to fear.

I hold Isha closer at that and tighten my hold on Ekko's hand and give it a tug to the side.

"Um, could you give us one second?," Ekko asks them before stepping aside with Isha and I, "Powder, what's wrong?" he asks and I only nod towards the bar and he looks to see what I see. Isha noticing as well.

We move forward to try and get a better look at what's happening through the crowd, and I spot something in Cait's hands. Something I recognize immediately as we get a better angle.

"Y/n's helmet." Ekko says for me with with worry in his voice.

I see a dent in the back of it and look up and see that Cait has spotted us. She doesn't need to say anything for me to know what happened. I can see it in her eyes.

Y/n was attacked, and by her absence took also her.

'Someone kidnapped Y/n.'

Something inside me awakens at that thought. I don't care. Y/n was taken away. We need to get her back.

I need her.

We need her.

Reader Pov

How long has it been? Minutes? Hours? I don't know. All I feel is pain and exhaustion as I lay limp in a dirty alley. I tried to grt away from it all and dissasociate, but the pain is too much. My throat feels strained from all the yelling and screaming.

"Alright! I think that's enough. We gotta move before someone finds us here," Their boss says, but I feel a foot apply weight on my braced leg. I only groan in pain as I am too tired and in too much pain to scream, "I said enough! Anymore and you'll kill her."

"And!? This bitch has had this coming for a long time!" The man from earlier yells out.

"Because then we can't get paid, remember? We got our payback; now we get paid." Their boss says again.

"I say we off her here and now. Bitch deserves it." A different woman says and I hear some murmurs of agreement from the others.

"Are you guys crazy!? We do that and the enforcers will come down on us harder than they already are now!" Their boss says, trying to regain authority, but it doesn't sound like it's going well.

"She's the reason why they're hitting us as hard as they're in the first place! What happens after she recovers and comes for us!?" the other woman says, getting more murmurs of agreement.

"I say we send a message." I hear the guy from earlier say. I start panicking as I see someone hand him my shovel that was taken off of me and start walking towards me.

"Hey! This is not the plan!," Their boss tries to step in front of me to stop him, but is blocked by others and moved aside, "Are you guys serious!? If you do this we're fucked!"

I try to get up to run or fight. To at least do something, but I'm too tired and in too much pain. I can only hardly push myself up with my arms before being stomped on my back.

'This is it? Dead in a fucking alleyway?,' I thought as I am kicked to roll over on my back. The others all cheering the man on as he steps over me, 'Maybe this is the cost? Time letting me face the consequences of my actions,' I barely stare up at the man as he lifts my shovel high over his head. Ready to bring it down onto me, 'As long as they live.' I try to accept, but then the memories come running back to me.

Talking with Vander, Silco and Benzo.

Listening to Heimerdinger play toons on the street.

Messing around with Claggor and Mylo.

Having tea with Cait and Vi.

Sevika showing her tough love.

Going out with Powder, Ekko and Isha.

Talking, laughing, caring and living.

'I want to live.'

I move my head last second and the shovel imapcts the ground next to my head and I use as much strength as I can muster curl up and kick him away. I use the force of the kick to roll over onto my feet and try to run in the confusion, but don't make it far. Someone manages to trip me and I fall down again.

"Damn! She still has some fight left in her! Not enough luck though!" The guy says with a laugh as I try to get up, but I get stomped on my leg.

"Stop! If you do this we're done for!" their boss, or maybe former boss, tries again to stop him but is stopped.

I can only look over my shoulder as the man with my shovel stands over me again and raises it high.

'At least I tri-'

*BANG*

"AAAGH Shit!" The man yells as he drops the shovel and blood spills from his hand. I look forward and see Cait and Vi there.

"Drop your weapons now! Or else!," Cait yells out orders, but no one moves. She shoots near one's head and only barely misses, "I'm not asking again! Drop! Them!," she commands them and they follow orders this time, "Back away from her to the end of the alley! Now!" she says and I glance back to see them continuing to follow orders.

I hear Cait and Vi get closer to me and I can only make brief eye contact with Vi before they move to stand between me any kidnappers. I hear people running from where Cait and Vi arrived and look forward again.

"Cait! Vi! What happ-......" I feel a wave of relief go through me as I hear Powder's voice and see Ekko next to her with Claggor and Mylo behind her.

They rush over and untie my restraints before gently turning me over after seeing my state. Powder gently lifts my head to lay it on her lap instead of the cold floor and brushes some hair from my face. I can't help but let tears fall now and cry. I turn myself into her and she holds me close; not too tight because of my bruised body.

"Someone get her gun." Vi says and Ekko is quick to respond and get's it from the floor and brings it back to Powder and I. Handing it to Powder to hold onto.

"Kids! What's goin' on!?," I hear Vander's voice now, rushing towards us and I peak out from my embrace with Powder to see him, Silco and Sevika. Vander is wearing his old gauntlets. They give me concerned looks before staring down the alley at the thugs on the other end, "What happened." Vander says, sounding more like a command than a question.

"They were going to kill her. We got here right before that guy was about to cave her head in." Vi answers and I feel Powder stiffen at that. I feel her hold on me only tighten a little. Not too much to hurt me, but just to have me closer.

"Ekko." She says and no other words are exchanged. He looks over at the thugs, specifically at the one bleeding from his hand before he picks up my shovel from the floor.

He walks forward and before the guy can step back Ekko swings the shovel at him, knocking him to the ground; the others backing away from the sudden outburst.

"Wait! Wai-" he's cut off as Ekko doesn't stop. He keeps beating on the guy on the ground. No one tries to stop him. Not even Cait; who keeps her rifle aimed at the other thugs.

"Wait, he doesn't ha-" I try to protest through a strained voice, but Powder just cradles my head closer to not see what's happening.

"Shhh. It's okay. Don't worry about it. Everythings okay now." she says as I hear the guy's yells and screams and Ekko beating him senseless. I hear bones break, blood leaking and more screams.

"Stop! He's had enough!," I hear their boss say, but Ekko doesn't stop. He ignores her and keeps going. I feel one of Powder's arm loosen and peak out to see the woman go step forward to grab Ekko, "Sto-" *BANG*

I hear a familiar gunshot. Not from Cait. Powder's arm with my gun in hand is extended out towards the woman. Powder shot her. The woman drops dead and I stare in shock at her corpse, before Powder wraps her arm around me to hold me close again. Ekko continuing to beat a man to death; his screams and yells getting weaker. I hear the breaking of bones and blood being spilled. No one stops him.

"Wh- Why did you....."

"It's fine. They deserve it." she says in a certain tone that sounds too familiar. Too much like Jinx.

I'm overwhelmed by emotions. Too much happening for me to know what to do. Eventually Ekko finally stops and I can hear his labored breathes.

"We-We won't resist arrest. We'll go to Stillwater!" I hear a thug says and getting no protests from the others.

"Vander. Y'know what needs to happen right?" I hear Silco ask, "They hurt one of ours. They were going to kill her." he continues in that cold tone I know all too well.

A few seconds goes by before I hear Vander's heavy footsteps walk forward towards where I know Ekko is.

"You're done here, Ekko. Kids! Take her home."

"What!? Dad, they were going to kill her! If Cait and I di-"

"There might be others who might try something Vi. Take her home," Vander says again as Ekko walks over Powder and I, "We'll handle the rest."

"What!? We'll turn ourselves in! We won't bother he-" the voice is cut off by a loud impact.

'What are they doing!?'

"Come on, let's go home." Ekko says as he picks me up gently and I can only get a peak over his shoulder at what is happening. I see another dead body in front of Vander, there head looking like it was caved in. Powder runs a hand through my hair before gently coaxing my head to lean into Ekko.

"Don't worry about them Y/n. Get rest." she says as if there isn't a massacre about to happen.

As we leave Vander, Slico and Sevika in the alley with the rest of the thugs, I can feel my exhaustion taking over. The screams and yells being left in the distance. My eyelids grow heavy before I have no choice but to sleep. Too tired and hurt to fully process anything that is happening.

"It's okay. You're safe now. Just rest. Isha is waiting for you back home." Powder says softly before I finally drift off into sleep.

Hope you enjoyed. And hopefully 2025 is a good year for everyone. Sorry for any grammar mistakes.

[sapphire-weapon]

I've been thinking about this whole thing wrt Leon's morality and his conflict wrt his relationship to the government, and like

there's a big part of the story that's getting lost in all of this.

From 1999-2005, Leon was basically the government's little bitch. He was being held under duress via threats to Sherry's life and had absolutely no power, autonomy, or esteem within the government.

But after RE4, that completely changes. Yes, he still can't leave because of Sherry, but he starts to gain clout, and a sort of mythology surrounding him begins to form within the ranks of the government and the military. This is then amplified following Degeneration, especially after Ron Davis is found dead in his office (even though this wasn't Leon's doing; it was Tricell's -- but it was still Leon's actions that led to that moment).

We see the effects of that at the start of Infinite Darkness.

So then, fast forward to the end of ID -- the reason why Leon buries the story of what happened during ID wasn't because he was under orders to. I don't know where that perception comes from.

Leon buries the story at the end of ID as a thank you to President Graham. President Graham comes right to the edge of declaring war against a nation that didn't deserve it, but then he pivots at the very last second possible entirely based on Leon's word.

So, at this point, Leon has every reason to believe that he can effect change from within while also protecting people who have been good to him (in this case, the Grahams). And, as far as we know, there were no further incidents under President Graham's administration.

Then Adam Benford takes office, and now Leon has reached almost legendary status within the US government. He's able to -- seemingly right away -- get Benford to agree to open lines of communication with the BSAA (completely reversing course on the US's foreign policy up to that point), and the two of them work together to form the DSO. Remember -- the DSO was, at least in part, Leon's fucking idea.

Going into RE6, Leon has an enormous amount of political capital and uses it to the best of his ability. At this point in the series, if Leon wanted to start a civil war in the US, he'd have enough agencies and big enough chunks of the military behind him in order to do it. This is why Helena sought him out in the first place.

But then Derek Simmons turns out to be The Deep State (lmao), Leon is forced to kill Benford, and then we don't really know the state of the US government since then. It seems to not be going great, but we don't know why, and we won't know why until RE9 comes out.

If I had to guess, I'm willing to bet that Leon lost a lot of his esteem thanks to the events of RE6. Despite his legendary reputation, he still allowed Raccoon City 2.0 to happen under his watch in the form of Tall Oaks; Simmons was right under his nose the whole time, and Leon never sniffed him out -- so, not only did a fucking US President end up dead as a result, but the US was also then forced to put boots on the ground in China. It was a shitshow.

So, Vendetta and Death Island were almost kind of like... Leon attempting (and mostly failing) to claw his way back to where he was in his career pre-RE6.

Like, Leon has been an effective force for good in the US government. Him being a government agent doesn't make him morally gray because, within the confines of the story, he uses that position to enact positive change. And that's probably the biggest reason why he doesn't just leave.

But the conflict within his character comes in because he never wanted to be in this position in the first place and he resents it as a result, and the high-ranking officials around him -- with the exception of Graham and Benford -- don't engage with him in good faith. But he really just wants to cling to the belief that if he keeps doing a good job, they eventually will -- because he also knows that he'll have to take far more drastic measures within the government if he accepts that they won't.

And he knows that he can take those more drastic measures. It's within his power to do so. Because, at one point, he could have conceivably started a civil war.

But, being a Good Guy, he doesn't want that. So the conflict in his character persists.

[yuri-is-online]

Sorry for making you explain all the yutus but can you do Jades? Bros gotta be so overprotective 😬

Jokes on you I am always down to talk about Jade Leech (my beloved)

notes: they/them used for Yuu, for context on the fyuuture kid au can be found here and here. I think I typed up way more for this than anyone else up to this point, I'd apologize but it has been a second since I brain rotted about Jade, so excuse me for feeding myself (づ_ど)

Put yourself in Jade's shoes for a second.  He is a merfolk from the coral sea, only able to appear human through the use of a potion but still retaining his inhuman features.  He tries hard to appear human, he goes to a boot camp where so many things have to be explained that he is able to mimic but doesn't fully understand.  There's no reason for you to like him, he knows that better than anyone; he doesn't fully understand why he's attracted to you himself but he is.  And he longed after you for so long, he was drowning in his desire that had such a little chance of being reciprocated but by some miracle it was.  You stay in Twisted Wonderland, you let him take you under the sea and agree to be kept there.  You're going to give him a family, he's beyond excited and filled with feelings of love he didn't think he'd ever get to have.

And then it's gone.  There's no evidence as to why, no one to tell him where you went.  Azul starts off confident, excited at the prospect of revenge and encouraging Jade.  They'll find them, between him, Jade, and Floyd they'll find Yuu and someone will have a very bad day.  But there's nothing, they're being lied to and stonewalled at every turn and when finally (it's been 10 months 3 weeks and two days, he could count down to the hours and seconds but who would listen?) Riddle of all people contacts them with a lead, he's dead almost immediately.  Turned into a phantom, all of those friends of yours he was so jealous of too… no one is telling him but he knows.  You're not coming back, he's never going to meet your child, he failed at a moray's one job of protecting his cleaner shrimp.  When he's alone he talks to you both sometimes, nights when you can see the stars are becoming increasingly rare as the sky flares up with ink but he likes to think you found your way up to the sky.  

When he loses Floyd and Azul he sort of loses his will to live.  The only thing that keeps him going is the promise of one day being able to lay them both to rest eventually, but until then he bar tends at NRC and listens to all the little things people talk about when the world is ending. If he was in a better place he'd probably find it funny how lose people's lips are getting, Azul’s business would be doing so well if he were here now…

That's what he's doing one day in September when one of the mage students runs up to him out of breath, Sehrish he thinks her name is?  

“The headmage needs you in the hospital wing!”  She sounds scared, out of breath like she's run the whole way and Jade is just curious enough to go.  Something spurs him on to run himself, through the mirror and into the wing and-  

He doesn't even hesitate, his body acts before his brain does launching him towards you and grasping desperately at your hands.  They're cold, you're going cold and he doesn't have the warmth in his body to give you.  Something has mercy on him and let's your eyes open just the bit as you reach just as desperate to be close to him as he is to you and he feels your strength pass into him.  

“Don't apologize.”  He manages to whisper.  

“But I'm sorry.”  You cry.  ��I love you so much and I couldn't forget even though they wanted me to.”  

“Who did this.  Who took you just name them and I promise you my pearl-”  he gets to kiss you one more time before your gone.  Jade doesn't move, he thinks Crewel is yelling for his attention but he can't move, he wants to stay here forever he has to protect you, why wasn't he able to protect you?!

“Oh holy fuck that tastes bad.”  There's a dazed voice Jade has never heard before, heavy with sorrow, and though he doesn't quite have it yet, Jade feels purpose begin to return to his heart.

Jade! Yutu is a menace.  I like the idea of him being some form of punk or goth, with piercings and a few tattoos that Yuu doesn't know anything about.  He grew up with a small group of close knit alt friends who would come over to Yuu's house and shoot the shit.  Yuu was really popular with Yutu's friends actually, he had mixed feelings about that. (No, his parent isn't accepting step-father applications, Joshua, keep running your mouth and see what happens)

Has a mixed ranged of emotions about his parent's amnesia. When he was younger not knowing who his dad was made him really sad, he'd listen to other kids talk about doing things with their fathers and he'd dream about doing them with his dad, but the picture was always blurry and felt just... wrong somehow. As he gets older and starts forming his world view he starts to think his dad might have left Yuu for any number of reasons. Did it happen before or after their amnesia, that's what he wants to know.

He has a pretty big problem with authority, residual trauma from the trip across worlds he thinks now… but back in your world he just didn't see the point of respecting someone just because they have more money and power than him.  Almost everyone does, that doesn't make them special!  But he's so sneaky about it, if it weren't for his clothes or his friends Yuu would hardly know what he gets up to in his spare time. It put a bit of strain on their relationship, Yutu sees his lies as something he does to protect his parent, while Yuu sees themselves as well.  A parent.  Who is the one who should be protecting their child not the other way around.  

When he tries to pull similar stunts with Original Timeline! Jade he gets a rude awakening. He tries sneaking out to meet up with some friends only to find his dad sitting with them, polite smile on his face clearly reveling in how awkward he is making this.  Oya, did Yutu think he was being slick?  He's hurt, no really this is the first time Jade has had to fake cry in years, he'd almost forgot how.  Didn't Yutu ever wonder where he got this from?  Because he had to know it wasn't Yuu.

Jade! Yutu also played in a band in middle school and also played bass, it just wasn't a jazz trio or an upright bass.  He would have liked continued to play in bands, but he shares his dad's issues with stage fright which makes it sort of difficult. He has tried his hand at writing his own music from time to time, but he's waaaaay too shy to ever play it for anyone other than the woods.

He really likes horror stories and cryptids, so he wasn't super afraid of the monsters when he first arrived in Twisted Wonderland.  One round with Phantom Riddle changed that nonchalant attitude quick, and while he still is very attached to the stuff he read about back in your world he hates blot monsters and Twisted Wonderland fiends in general.

Speaking of those monsters, Jade hates Yutu fighting them.  Father and son are an absolute nightmare for Crewel to deal with, one is threatening to drown him if Yutu is allowed to fight, the other is screaming curse words and saying it doesn't matter what Crewel does, he's going anyway.  He needs a drink (but not from Jade's bar he's going to get poisoned) 

I don't think Yutu actually told Jade he was planning on going back in time because he was angry and just assumed that he would try and stop him.  He's really proud of himself for the first few weeks he spends in the past thinking he got one over on his old man finally (he didn't, but he did hurt him quite a bit), but the more he interacts with the younger version of his parents the more he starts to regret that decision.

Past Jade is so… fun.  He thinks his dad is fun?!  His weird obsession with mushrooms was never something they talked about beyond a few compliments his dad gave to a mushroom patch he had on his jacket; watching his old man prattle on now he never would have guessed any of this.  Yutu never doubted that Jade loved you, but he didn't really think about what that looked like, or what you might have meant to Jade.  They just didn't talk about it, now that he's forced to think about it Jade was probably trying to focus on having him back and how lucky he was to even have that.  And instead of being honest about how angry he was to have lost you he lied and said he was fine.  With how good his dad was at knowing when he was lying Jade had to know that's how he felt, but respected his boundaries and didn't push. All those comments about being there when he's ready to talk, all the times Jade said he loved him, and those long nights he watched from afar as Jade sat with tea next to your grave, just talking to you as if you were still there are put into context. Yutu isn't able to sleep for a few nights after that.

Jade finds Yutu interesting.  He's a potential source of information about Yuu, a lot of his quirks remind him of himself and he finds the new kids blatant disrespect for authority to be hilarious! And hilariously good blackmail material, now now don't be afraid he really is just here to help...

"Nice try old man you won't pull shit out of me." Yutu sounds smug, but Jade knows when his spell has worked and when it hasn't; how delightful he doesn't seem to remember someone ever being so cocky about it before.

"That's a shame." He makes sure to make his face fall to keep the new kid off his guard as he continues his questioning. "It's just I am curious where did you come from? I thought Yuu's world doesn't have magic."

"I mean it doesn't, probably never would have been able to come back in time if I was still stuck there." Yutu blinks, clarity starting to come into view as Jade pushes through the surprise to ask a final question.

"Oya? And just why did you come back in time, were you worried about Yuu?"

"Of course I'm worried about my parent what sort of stupid question is-" Yutu returns to himself and treats Jade to a look of shock so rare and downright delightful he can't help but smile himself. "Hey just what did you do?"

Old man? What a disrespectful thing to call his father, no wonder his future self never told his son about his unique magic. Jade doesn't have time to doubt his affections for Yuu, once Yutu realizes he's fucked and can't get out of admitting that was the truth he tells Jade who he is and a bit about what the future is like. Jade can tell he's keeping a few details back, but he knows himself well enough to know that everything Yutu is describing would have changed him to a degree that he might not have been in the best mental space to help his son through the loss of Yuu.

Speaking of Yuu, Jade asks Yutu to keep his existence to himself for a bit. He wants to win over your affections without the help of the future looming in your thoughts, he only gets to have this part of his life with you once and he intends to savor it. But the confidence boost he gets from knowing you do end up as his mate does have him acting a bit goofy for a bit. Floyd and Azul are legitimately scared.

They are brought up to speed as Jade insists on introducing Yutu to them "properly" and he is every inch the proud father showing off their new baby to the relatives even though Yutu is practically his height and has a bunch of piercings. Floyd takes a liking to him immediately while Azul is a bit more awkward, not that he doesn't like Yutu he's just a lot different from anyone Azul has ever met before so he's unsure how to sell himself. Luckily he doesn't have to because Yutu appreciates his genuine self just like Floyd, Jade, and Yuu do.

Jade gladly invites Yutu to join the Mountain Lover's Club and is very excited when he says yes. Yutu finds a lot of enjoyment in helping his dad work mushrooms into Azul and Floyd's food by pretending to agree with their complaints. Floyd is so mad he calls Yuu and tells them to come get their kid.

The over protectiveness doesn't end exactly, but Yutu is more willing to understand and Jade is more able to explain himself. They're both extremely protective of Yuu and in sound agreement that nothing like Yutu's future can ever be allowed to come to pass. Jade wanted a family, so to learn that he got that and someone took it away from him? Future him was overwhelmed with grief but current him is overwhelmed with rage. Remember book four? He described what he would do to someone who betrayed him, and it wasn't pretty. His plans for whoever did this to his precious mate and child is going to get so much worse.

[constantfragmentation]

Silco Headcanon

Okay, whether you want to believe Silco was crushing on Felicia or he was just fond of her....

It really explains a lot in regards to Jinx and Vi.

I think Silco would have been both devastated at Felicia's death and proud that she died for a cause they believed in. Vander taking her kids, I believe, could have been a major sore spot with Silco.

Depending on when we want to believe the river betrayal happened (prior to the bridge battle or after), Silco doesn't appear to be on the bridge and why? Was he already so terribly injured he couldn't fight? That Silco stoked up the people's anger to where Vander couldn't back out of the battle and Felicia ended up dying?

I want to wonder if Vander prior to the battle, was having second thoughts. Felicia now had two kids and Vander was starting to see things differently. There were too many kids or people that would become collateral damage if they failed against Piltover. I'm thinking Vander began to believe they were going to lose big.

So perhaps, killing Silco was to way to end it before it became worse but by that time there was no stopping the rebellion and he still had to lead them in battle.

Yet, of course, the letter Vander wrote Silco signifies that the betrayal happened post-bridge battle. I wish the animators had not made them so young in Silco's flashback in S1E3 and then Vander clearly with a full beard in S1E1. I have to think that they didn't plan to expound on Silco/Vander post-S1. I believe they added the backstory because fans fell in love with these two characters.

So making her death the reason behind Vander killing Silco?. I kind of wish it was pre-battle that Vander had a change of heart but it was too late to back out, so he took it out on Silco thinking it would be a wrench in the cog and stop it. Silco jokingly claiming "#1" makes me feel like he thought he was the mastermind and Vander was just the muscle. So Vander used that muscle to stop him.

I think it works better if Vander tried to kill him before the battle, but it seems like Riot is making her the catalyst which I think is too easy a cop out. UNLESS, one of those kids is Vander's or Silco's.

Why is Felicia so important to kill your brother over? There are plenty of families, kids being put at risk but she is the big catalyst? Yeah, she's the mum of Vi/Jinx but why is she so important to Vander and Silco? Such importance needs to be explained.

When Silco says in S1E3 that Vander still kept his respect maybe that was because he still went through with the battle. Silco then adds, "until you played lapdog" and it all changed when he saw how Vander controlled the Lanes and worked with Enforcers and gave up all effort to combat Piltover.

So you have Felicia dead. Silco probably was barred by Vander in paying respects, etc. Vander talks to Benzo about Silco as that dark secret no one wants to know about.

Vi being the leader of the kids. She would be more on Silco's radar than Jinx. She is very much like Vander and that probably irks Silco to the bone if he considers Felicia a true patriot like himself. So, by extension he low-key hates Vi.

When he sees Jinx at Vander's dead body. He is vaguely aware she is Vi's sister and probably considering kidnapping or using her to get to Vi. It IS fucked up because these are KIDS. But Silco has a warped sense of life.

Most likely when he was a kid (as he chides Finn at the Chembaron meeting) he had nothing and most likely was a child labourer. So maybe he doesn't see Zaun kids as innocents and they are fair game. Hell, he has child labour making shimmer (Renni's son).

So, JInx tells him Vi isn't her sister anymore and he sees Vander's dead body. Vander isn't his brother anymore. But now he can take Felicia's younger child and mold her to what he though Felicia was? Like him? However, in S1 we don't see any conversation or hint of JInx knowing much about her mother or that Silco knew her.

As Jinx ages, she looks more and more like Felicia and I think that is a positive memory Silco chooses to keep. It makes him happy that he is protecting her daughter, helping her. He encourages her experimentation/scientific skills. Silco molds her into a version of himself, a patriot that maybe he chooses to believe Felicia was more like him than Vander turning her kids to his views.

SIlco lets Jinx gets away with EVERYTHING. He gives her important jobs that confound his subordinates like Sevika and piss off the Chembarons. No one touches Jinx. Silco won't allow it.

Smeech knows she's fair game now because Silco can't protect her anymore.

I think this is why Silco has a fragmented view of Jinx. He's sees a daughter he wants to nuture and protect but he also sees her as an equal and has absolute faith in her skills to build a weapon against Piltover. He struggles between the two. Treating her like his child an d treating her like a member of his team. Basically Felicia 2.0.

In her lab when he is so angry at what Jinx did in Piltover, only to see she stole the stone and he isn't giving her enough credit. And when she hugs him, he's reminded, she loves him like a father.

On the bridge after her fight with Ekko, Silco is mortified that he caused her death/injury. He sees the stone and realizes he put her in this position. She almost died because of him.

I wonder if that triggered a memory of Felicia dying on the bridge. He wasn't able to understand Vander and I think finding Jinx on the bridge was the beginning. He couldn't bear to lose Jinx. She can't die. It will kill him. He can't be the reason she dies.

So when he meets Jayce, he's protecting Jinx the whole time and when the ultimatum is handing her over to get everything he's always wanted, a free, independent Zaun. He can't do it. He cares too much . He still wants freedom but he'll find another way to do it.

At the tea party, he tells Jinx she means more to him than getting what he's always wanted. She knows how important that was to him, and you see it in her face. He calls her his daughter. She has the love and acceptance she's been looking for. It wasn't just Silco being protector/mentor. He sees her as HIS family.

I think that's why "you're perfect" hits so fucking hard. You know he loves her. In his own messed up way, all the mistakes he's made with Jinx, he loves her and was willing to give up his dream to keep her safe.

If Vi knows more about Silco than she lets on.... Sevika turning the knife by saying "she's like his daughter" is a real kick in the face. Because Sevika would probably know, wouldn't she??? Food for thought.

Fuck, I could talk about this all night but I have to go to bed if I want to get up for work tomorrow.

[nico-esoterica]

More about celeb sps!

"But what about the millions of other people manifesting them?" 🤔⭐

There's the perspective that they've successfully manifested them in their personal realities, but I'm an elitist. In every other reality, I believe I am the only person my man would ever want to be with, consider, or fathom as a partner. I am the best of the best. I am the only person to ever exist in his world he'd want to be with intimately. I don't care who he's been with. I'm the best lover, best romantic partner, most attractive person to exist in their world. I am always infinitely better. I am what dreams are made of. Billions of the most attractive and good men in the world would kill irl to be with me or even be in the same room with me. Women and other identities too!~

This is how you need to think. If you think anyone's manifesting them? No, they're not lol. Because they'd never do it successfully or have the confidence and conviction to maintain it. They're also not you. And they're weak bitches! I said what I said. I've never thought small in my entire life and I have unwavering confidence, self discipline, and belief in myself. I am self-obsessed and radiate power, magnetism, and sex appeal. I'm also the most beautiful person I've ever personally come across, alive or dead. In a room full of the most conventionally beautiful people, my sp would only have eyes for me. Even in an industry full of surgical beauties! Idgaf! Even if I wasn't gorgeous, my sp would still think I was! Now, let's discuss stalkers and other criminals and what makes you different:

You're always winning in your reality, even if that winning is you losing, lol. You're winning in the assumption that you can't have what you want or who you want. That's winning but just not in your favor.

Even if millions of people are casting love spells or manifesting your person, they will always fail because you've rendered them ineffective in your reality. Also, AGAIN, you are YOU! Someone can only 'take' your sp if you THINK it's possible that they can be taken! That's why you need to STAND THE FUCK UP! Would you wanna be with you? I would wanna be with me! My sp is LUCKY that I even give a fuck the way I do lmao! I also personally believe whoever you're manifesting is manifesting YOU back! That's how manifesting people works objectively if you look at stories of couples who've described how it feels on both ends.

I don't consider stalking to be something celebs want but may be what they expect due to their job and not thinking they're in control of their realities, etc. I also put obsessive fans in that category because their emotional investment makes them money lol. But as a celeb who wants to be genuinely loved as a human being, I do believe they're manifesting the right person for them and that spectrum of possibility will involve someone that's potentially a fan or was one due to the magnitude of their fame. But this person would truly love and appreciate them. That's the difference. When Hailey Bieber and Victoria Beckham were manifesting their men as fans, they wound up in healthy and happy relationships with them. Thriving, tbh.

But the typical 'fan' is usually someone with piss poor self esteem, puts their fave on a pedestal, and may think they have to force themselves on their fave to 'get them to like them' when that's just abuse and assault. That's due to poor self concept and probably due to having an unhealthy relationship with them bc of social alienation from Capitalism, untreated/misdiagnosed neurodivergence because of lack of money and access to quality healthcare, and a combination of factors where their fave is the only 'good' experience in their lives. You're always telling yourself a story. With your sp, celeb or not, it's the same thing.

These people don't believe that they can successfully 'be' with their fave without breaking the law or bypassing personal boundaries and that lack of self belief is because of bad self concept and personal self esteem. They don't think they would ever choose them without them needing to force it to happen. When you're manifesting like Hailey, Victoria, etc, you're putting yourself on the pedestal instead. You're believing that there's no way in hell that celeb sp WON'T want you for just existing. I don't know those women personally but it takes audacity and that audaciousness is a result of a strong self concept about themselves and what they're capable of. But it doesn't have to be all that.

You don't even have to like yourself to manifest a celeb sp, but most people don't tell themselves that they can just exist and the sp will find them and fall in love with them.

That's the difference between a stalker, saesang, and toxic person vs another person manifesting them. You'd think there's overlap but there's a distinct difference in mindset. You don't need to be in creepy group chats full of criminals exchanging stolen personal info or do any weird shit but people do most likely because that's the only way they think they'll get access to their sp. They're still insecure, lol.

That's why people commit crimes anyway and is the way our system is set up. They're still manifesting that fraudulent access but they rarely, if ever, land the full blown relationship where their sp wants them back. Their sp not wanting them back despite all the weird shit (bc people irl DO have relationships w/ toxic people) is proof that they DON'T think or believe this person wants them. Otherwise they'd think it was cute or something because they'd see them as the one and only exception. That rarely happens with celebs, even though I'm sure it does, but that not being the norm means those people manifesting celeb sps simply don't think they can do it deep down.

That's why you're one out of millions or a billion, honestly. Even if someone seems very confident, unless they have consistent commitment to their inner story like con artist Anna Delvey, for example, then they won't be successful.

Because that's all it takes with anything, sp or not. It's the story you're telling yourself. It doesn't have to feel real. You just need to not change it.

Like I said, the other girls are weak bitches. It just is what it is.

[sameschmidtdiffname]

A Comfort or Two

Mike Schmidt x Gender Neutral! Reader

Summery: Vices never killed anybody.

Tags: No use of Y/N, no use of gendered pronouns for Reader, pre-established relationship, hurt/no comfort, Reader has ✨️issues✨️, this isn't a vent fic what are you talking about???, use of cigarettes, brief mentions of sleep medication, arguement, and this is barely proofread. (Read: Isn't.)

Notes: I have had writers block for three months. I shit this out in ten minutes. What the fuck?

Anyways, phone blapple teet.

                       ▪︎◇{¤♧■♧¤}◇▪︎

"Since when do you smoke?"

The voice rings clear in the dead of night, the only sound surrounding us being the crickets chirping and mosquitos buzzing past my ears.

"I don't," I answer, taking another drag off the cigarette between my cold fingers.

Mike doesn't speak as he steps onto the patio, softly shutting the glass door behind him with a sort of 'thump' sound that it always makes when the door seals shut.

For a moment we don't say anything. Then I exhale, and the noise that makes must be his silent blessing to speak.

"American Spirits," he notes, too awkward to say what he really thinks.

"Turquoise," I say. I take another drag, then speak as I hold my breath. "You know how many people that work at gas stations don't know what the fuck turquoise looks like when you ask for a pack of this shit?"

He sucks his teeth. I wonder for a moment if he knows what the color looks like.

"Most people are pretty good on red, blue, yellow," he says.

Yeah, he doesn't know.

"Pretty warm out here for a sweater," he notes.

"I don't like bugs," I say, exhaling. "They pick at my skin, eat me alive. Sue me."

His foot scuffs the concrete, a nervous habit.

"Can I bum one?"

This makes me turn my head to look at him, almost glaring as I try to gage how serious his request is, looking him up and down in his undergarments before speaking.

"Seriously?" I ask.

"If we're having a cheat day, yeah. Count me in," he says, walking to sit beside me, crossing his legs and resting back on his palms, then readjusting as he decides he doesn't like the feeling of the gravel on his skin, brushing the pepples off on his shorts.

I shrug and scoff, but pick up my pack and open the flap, shuffling out a little bit of tobacco and then finding a paper, getting to work on rolling a cigarette for the man who watches me curiously.

"Why not buy pre-roll?" He asks.

"You gonna give me the extra money to buy pre-rolled?" I ask, my tone too dull to be sharp, but too pointed to be sarcastic. He relents, looking away.

"Bad day?" He asks after another moment of silence, daring to glance back at me.

"Not a good one," I answer around my own cigarette, then hold it between my left pinkie and ring finger so I can stick my tongue out to wet the paper so it'll stick together.

"You wanna talk about it?" He asks.

I don't acknowledge his question, instead picking off a spare bit of tobacco that sticks out from the end of the new cigarette, then put the leftover back in my pouch. I offer it to him, asking if he needs a lighter. He nods, and he takes it with such a gentle hand it's like I'm watching a 15 year old try to act cool for his sisters college friends or something.

I lean back, removing the cheap, purple BIC from my shorts pocket and hand it to him. It shouldn't irritate me how he looks at the items like he's completely clueless, failing to hide it as his brows furrow in thought.

"It's not gonna kill you," I say to him.

"I mean... they will," he says quietly.

There's another silent moment. He toys with the lighter, flicking it to life.

"Why purple?" He finally asks. I look at him, our eyes meeting. He doesn't look less tired than me, but he looks concerned more than anything, which irritates but sates me all at once.

I contemplate answering honestly. Take another drag, hold, exhale.

"When I graduated high school, I started fucking this guy. Awful man, great-" I pause. "Mediocre dick."

I don't say that for Mike's benefit, let me make that clear.

"But I thought it was great at the time. And I thought I liked him. And his favorite color was purple," I say.

Mike looks down at the lighter again, letting the flame die.

"We smoked together," I clarify. "I thought he would like it."

"So, you've had this since high school?" He asks, sounding slightly impressed.

"No," I say. "I just became the friend with the purple lighter, so I stuck with the theme. They're cheap, so it's easy."

He nods, then finally lifts the cigarette to his chapped lips, licking them and carefully holding it as he lights it. I watch, anticipating his coughing fit, which he tries to suppress after his first inhale, though there's already tears in his eyes. I look away, trying to let him pop his cherry in peace.

"Did he?" He asks in a very strained voice, sounding pathetic as he holds in his breath.

I furrow my brows, looking back at him. His face is red, his chest is trembling.

"You're gonna die," I point out, reaching to pet his back, rubbing right next to his spine, under his lung. "Hold your arms up, that'll help."

He obeys, exhaling and coughing so disgustingly it makes me grimace. But I just rub, trying to help him as he sounds like he's trying not to vomit. I should take the cigarette away from him, but I kind of don't want to. This is the D.A.R.E. exercise that works, in my opinion.

"Like it," he coughs out, gasping for clean air. "Did-"

"Okay, okay, I got it now," I reassure him, patting a bit harder on his back. He gives me a thumbs up, finally starting to recover, and sniffling back tears that threaten to trail down his face. This man is 25, by the way.

I sit back onto my palms, relaxing now that he isn't going to die. I let him recover for another moment, then watch as he decides to go in for another hit.

"He didn't," I answer. Mike does better on this inhale, not trying to act cool and letting himself cough, which helps extremely. "He didn't even notice it, and when I pointed it out he just told me it's his favorite color because girls thought it was cool."

Mike's brows furrow in disgust, and at first I think it's from the cigarette.

"Dick," he coughs, smoke pouring out of his mouth and nose, which must burn based off of how he picks at his nostrils, trying to wipe away the burning sensation.

I nod. "Yep," I say, popping the 'p.' Then there's silence again, me smoking, Mike trying.

Eventually, I reach the end of my stick and snub it out. Mike contemplates holding out, then decides against it. Probably for the best. He looks a little green around the gills.

"So, what makes you go out and buy loose tobacco and smoke like you're used to it?" Mike asks me, handing me back the lighter and remainder of his cigarette, which is warm in my palm.

"I don't even know," I sigh, looking down at the semi pregnant joint. Not my best roll. "I've just been exhausted lately."

"Work?" He asks. I shake my head. "Friends?"

"I don't know," I sigh irritablely.

"Is there-"

"Don't ask me what you can do, because everyone else had already asked and if I have to sit through another grilling on this shit, I'm gonna fucking bite someone's head off," I snap, raising my head to look at the fence in front of us, closing us in and providing privacy from the neighbors that drink too much and party too loud during football season.

Mike sucks his teeth again, looking down at his lap. "Think you just did," he points out quietly. But it's not to make me feel bad. The delivery is almost comedic, really. More for my entertainment than guilt.

"I'm sorry," I say softly, shame creeping into my stomach and making me bury my head in my hands. I try to think of something else to say, an explanation to give. But all I can say is a repeat, "I'm sorry."

Even though I can't see him, I know Mike's face softens. His arms encircle me gently, pulling me closer to him, smoke so wrongly mixed with the taste of mouthwash on his breath.

"Hey," he soothes. "It's okay."

"I'm just tired," I say in a strained voice.

"I know," he says.

"And my head hurts."

"I'm sorry."

"And I can't sleep at night."

Mike's quiet at that, trying to figure out what to say, what to offer. My insomnia isn't new, and he's offered his own sleep pills, but I decline everytime. I'm just glad by the time my leg starts bouncing enough to rock the bed, the medication has such a deep hold on him he doesn't appear to notice. I wonder if he feels guilty that he sleeps so much easier than I, a relief that escapes me.

"Have you been eating?" He asks.

I scoff. Rude.

"I'm serious," he says.

"Yes, I'm eating," I answer, not raising my head from my hands, my palms digging against my eyes.

"How much?" He asks.

"Michael-"

"I just want to make sure-"

"Don't baby me-"

"I'm not babying you-"

"Than what the fuck is this?" I ask, looking up at him.

"This is me being worried over you," he says as though it were obvious, furrowing his brows.

"Well, I don't fucking need it," I tell him, now trying to rise, but his hands hold me down, pissing me off.

"Hang on, let's talk about this-"

"What the fuck is there to talk about?" I snap, standing so abruptly it throws us both off balance.

Mike stares up at me incredulously, his mouth slightly agape. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" He asks me, his concern turning into a glare.

I don't answer, storming back into the house wordlessly as he calls my name, opening the door with strength I don't mean to use because it sends the glass sliding door ramming into the other side of the wall, but thankfully it doesn't break.

"Hey!" I can hear Mike's snap echoing sharply in the room, loud and making me flinch as I storm away. "You don't fucking slam that door!"

I don't respond, too irritated and guilt ridden to acknowledge him, my mind scrambled on locations of where I can run for comfort. My feet carry me automatically to the living room, my hand snatching my keys off the coffee table.

Mike calls after me again, demanding of me that I come back, that I talk about this. But I don't want to. These emotions inside of me, I don't even know why they exist, what they are, what part of my soul to bare to force them to go away.

I unlock the front door, and there's part of me that acknowledges I don't have a phone on me. I'll be on my own, alone. A state in which I used to never find comfort, but is now the only state in which I know how to exist in.

Mike grabs at me, a bit too rough to be appropriate. He's desperate, maybe angry, maybe scared of what will happen if I walk out that door. He's stronger than me, which makes me react in fear rather than logic.

I jerk my arm out of his grasp, but I have to use such force it sends my fist flying into my own face, my eye getting a good hit in the process, making Mike freeze temporarily.

It just makes me run out the door, into the night, scurrying into my car and turning the key quickly, leaving both of us to wonder where the hell I'm going and when I'll be back.

For both of our sake, I wish I had an answer. And I'm sorry that running feels better than staying.

I'd be a better person if I could be. If it could bring me comfort.

                              ¤▪︎{♧}▪︎¤

Rawdogged this like I did your mom last night.

Taglist:

@cassiecasluciluce @gh0u1ishly @joshhutchersons-slut @schmidtsbimbo @sugarevans @wompwompwomp57 @jhutchissupercool @laurrrelise @sleepyhutcherson . Thank you for your support pookies!!! <3

                 •¤Masterlist¤•

[somewhereincairparavel]

Hey, thanks for replying to my previous ask! and don't worry about the time it took to reply, I understand needing to recharge in order to give your 100% on a reply.

Now about that villain Jason you were speaking of... do share your thoughts if you don't mind :)

i responded like. 10 days late I'm sorry I had so much to do and i didn't get the time to write such a long post- I'm scared if I lost my momentum on my essay writing skills but let's see if I did good on this one.

I have thoughts about this man especially villian jason, so let me begin. i know luke was considered as “what percy would've become if he did the wrong thing” but hear me out. jason being the one ‘hero’ demigod to succumb to his bitterness and didn't just solely exist in the series to be a villian, but a hero changed villian.

luke kinda existed in pjo to be an antagonist, but it would be great if a main hero character slowly descended to madness and I don't just mean going around killing people. no. not that kind of villian. because that defeats the purpose of jason's character.

I mean villian in the sense of a drastic change in his personality where he brings obstacles to the seven's missions emotionally or physically because of his trauma, and that's where dark! jason comes in.

after he regains his memories after he experienced the warmth of chb, he's pissed at how badly he was treated all these years in camp jupiter. he comes to a REALISATION that he was used.

people don't take jason seriously and say that he suffered the ‘least’ because he doesn't ever acknowledge his trauma. Not even to himself. of course the argument ‘he was raised this way, to supress himself!’ would be the explanation, but that doesn't even make sense, considering how much it's emphasized that jason ‘changed’ after his experience in camp half blood.

give me a jason who maintains his roman ethic but simultaneously inherits the greek demigod qualities, like self realisation, calling people out for the bad treatment, anger towards the gods, or just expressing himself in general. the argument of ‘he was raised this way, to supress himself! that's why he's so submissive’ makes me angry

give me a jason who's jealous of how quickly percy was accepted into camp jupiter, in contrast to how everyone in camp half blood couldn't stop talking about percy and never gave up on him. camp half blood was friendly to jason, but in a ‘yeah he's cool ig’ kinda way in comparison to camp jupiter's ‘HES OUR HERO, BOW DOWN TO HIM’ kinda dramatics for percy.

give me a jason who is disappointed at the lack of warm welcome he got when he returned, when he was clearly expecting more from them (does that make him look entitled? for wanting repayment for his service and kindness all these years? maybe. but that's the point he really needed to be an asshole sometimes and he's fucking right.)

give me a jason who takes some of the bitterness he has against his mom out on thalia, for not looking for him (yes it's not even remotely her fault for getting manipulated by her mom by thinking jason is dead, but see the parallels here? camp jupiter and thalia both got gaslit into thinking that jason is dead, that jason sees the correlation and it gives him ptsd) jason is jealous and bitter that luke and annabeth ‘replaced’ him as thalia's family. jason is jealous that thalia said ‘i have to look for percy’

give me a jason who's jealous of percy having such a huge support system like basically the whole of camp half blood, annabeth, grover sally and paul. and is salty that he had an alcoholic mother who wanted him dead.

give me a jason who feels distant from everyone, because in a way, he always was. he just didn't show it. his friendship with reyna failed, he was ‘rivals’ with percy, they became friends bit not best friends, annabeth was wary of him, piper dumped him, frank saw him as a historical leader, and hazel who once admired him, didn't really like him till the very end bc of the nico thing.

give me a jason who's cold to reyna after they reunite because he was angry that he was so quickly replaced, upset that reyna avoided him ever since the venus incident because he didn't understand why.

give me a jason who inherits his mother's worst traits despite that being his biggest fear. it would parallel very well, his mom descended to insanity because zeus abandoned her, give me jason who also descends similarly because he was abandoned by her. full circle.

jason's interaction with beryl should've been way more emotional and compelling rather than the 2 second bit we got tbh, most people don't even remember that scene, that tells you how short it was.

give me a jason who momentarily makes the room full of giants and monsters suffocate by harshly sucking the air without even realising it, because the sight of his mother made him so fucking angry and agressive, it triggers his PTSD and makes his mind THROB (but piper and annabeth are safe from that because they were the ones who anchored him to reality, regardless, they get terrified of how mad he got)

jason who actually remembers his childhood trauma VIVIDLY and reflects on it instead of brushing it off, please. people also, for some reason are more sympathetic to antagonists with tragic backstories? like luke? like they pity them over the morally good characters? idk but it tends be a tendency in most fandoms. I saw so many pinterest posts comparing luke's actions to jason's? like I'm sorry luke is a good character but NOT comparable to jason (who's a morally good ‘hero’ character) they're not even on the same level of moral goodness. but yeah, maybe jason would've gained more empathy from the fans if he were an antagonist, like luke is receiving.

[icarusredwings]

"I guess I'm not used to the

silence

Chapter 4

1/2

Me and My Husband

Wade took 'I fucked the reaper' too seriously. And now he's dead.

Cw: Death, Descriptions of pain, Voices, Character death, Depictions of Heaven, Hell and the Universe, child death.

An apology post

Some asshole always told him… The end of one thing leads to the start of the beginning. Who was that you might ask? Some strange doctor guy who absolutely was kookoo bananas. That's who.

Though.. He was right.

Wade gasps loudly, shifting to sit up. It's bright. Too bright. Lifting a hand to cover the sunlight through the clouds, he rolled his eyes. “Oh no fucking way.. I'm not going to heaven! None of my friends will be there- HA! Oscar Wilde. Man.. what a riot that guy was-”

“Wade.”

A voice says, a figure blocking the sun, the light wrapping around her to make her look ethereal.

“Oh, damn. An angel.” He mutters, realizing that he could talk again, hand coming to his throat as he rubbed it gently. A sigh of relief washes over him as he had his skin back. His true self. Scarred permanently.

She waits patiently for a couple of minutes, letting him steal a few breaths, allowing him to feel all over himself, checking to see if his toes were broken again, rubbing his legs and his arms, and patting his cheeks. This was normal for those who finally got to pass. Especially if in such pain when they left. Her soon to be husband was no exception.

“Not quite, sweetheart.” She whispers, smiling down at him. The true, original angel of death.

Wade squints, then gasps, reaching up to the cloaked woman. “My lady!! Hey babe! What's shakin’? Hopefully your boney ass.”

She chuckles, shaking her head softly. “As much as I do enjoy your playful attempts to initiate, now is not the time for that, my love.”

He frowns “Aw.. why not?” He looks at her like a child pouting, not wanting to leave the park despite the park being closed after a long day.

“Do you know what you just did?” She questions, shifting to sit close to him in the yellow grain.

“Died?” This was obviously A no brainer. He only got to see her after that. That was kkiiinndd of their whole thing.

“Yes but.. Look.” She gestures around them.

The skies were dark, the fields went for miles, the sun only lighting the clouds enough to shine down on them both as he could see a thunderstorm rolling in from the distance, hot flashes of lightning appearing over them once in a while. The storm looked as if it were coming closer, but the wind was changing directions, softly blowing the wheat in all different ways. The storm was metaphorical Wade guessed, how death was always in view, waiting for you. The whole place was absolutely gloomsville. Like a tornado coming and wiping through all you could see, leaving nothing but ruins and godlike light to flow over all who survived.

“It's beautiful.. but you've never brought me here before.”

His Lady says nothing, grinning gently as she lets him figure it out for himself. He's waited far too long for this, there was no point in stealing his thunder. Besides, watching him go through the phases of thinking was always adorable. He was so expressive, each look causing you to guess what he was thinking.

Finally, he gasped again. A eureka moment.

“Wait wait wait… so… I'm dead? Like.. actually dead?? I did it!? I died!?” In almost all of her time doing this, she has never once found anyone so excited to see her, let alone ecstatic for her to bring him home then Wade Winston Wilson. In all of the universe, he had to be one of her favorites. There were others sure, just as Wade had his others, but he would jump into her arms the moment she arrived.

Not cry and shoo her away. Beg her for more time or call her the devil. She was tired of being screamed at. Tired of people calling her cruel. She wasn't cruel. If she was cruel, would she have taken Wade before he could drown in his own internal blood? Before his body failed him? If she was cruel like they said, why would she comfort each and every person she must take? Why would she bother speaking to them so softly and kindly answer the questions that they had for her?

“Yes, darling!” She matched his excitement, as she often did when deserved. He grabs her hands, holding them lovingly as he smiles widely. “Fucking Finally!! You look different though..”

���This is my domain so this is my body.” She says to him, allowing Wade to take her hand, kissing it as he always did. Each knuckle got their own kiss, as he said ‘They got lonely.’ Which was physically impossible because knuckles were not sentient. What a goofball.

Once each knuckle was kissed, he glanced up at her with a sneaky smile. “So If im picking up what you're lying down- in which I most certainly will… Your ass is in fact.. not.. boney anymore?”

“Would you like to find out?” She asks, giving him those teasing eyes.

“Well yeah that's why I asked…Oh..OH- You mean? Fuck yes! I love that and we'll get to that later, I definitely won't forget but.. do you like your new body?” He asks, by now having subconsciously began to pluck the wheat, beginning to braid it together. He always did like making her flower crowns, even if they died the moment they touched her.

Now, It wasn’t often someone took Death aback, But I suppose she chose him as her eternal partner for a reason. “Do I.. like my body?”

“Yeah” He says casually, tying off part of the wheat crown. “I've never liked mine much but.. I think I do now. And you don't have to change yourself for me. I meant what I said.” There was a pause as he strung the end through the tie he made. “I'd fuck you bones and all..” It was a quiet whisper. Intimate. A mutter under his breath as if it were common sense. None different than saying peaches were pink, the mirroring color of her cheeks.

Blinking, she thought for a second. No one has ever asked Death if she enjoyed her own appearance. Let alone someone who has been so desperate to hold her since- well since they first met.

“..Do you not like it?” She asks, confused. Now, Death knew she was extremely beautiful. Either way. But she thought Wade would be all over her by now. Why was he so… Calm..?

“That's not what I asked, M’lady. I asked If you like yourself. Not if I do. But yes, I think you're smokin’ either way, babe.” Wade's head was quiet. Focused. Attention fully on her.

Death is quiet too. Thinking.

He hums to fill the silence. A soft melody.

Death wonders, she knew Wade was quite the romantic, gentlemanly even, but he seemed different. He seemed… Cared for.

In a way she didn't remember providing.

“Yes..”

“Yes that you like your body?”

She nods. “I do..”

He smiles at her, widely with those big white eyes of his. They reflected the sun perfectly, reminding her of pearls from the ocean. Reaching up, He puts the crown on her, watching as it wilts before putting his fingers together like a camera. “Perfect…stunning. Give me a pose!”

Have you ever seen Death blush? Wade has. Very often in fact. She looks down, embarrassed before shifting, leaning back on her arms, tugging up her robe a bit.

“Gorgeous. The camera loves ya, Darlin’!” He teases playfully, snapping a few imaginary photos before she sighs, staring at him with this sense of serenity. How could anyone hurt someone so sweet..? How could they? She was fully aware of Wade's work. She respected it highly for obvious reasons, but even out of work, he made her feel… Mushy.

Warm.

Like she was alive. It was disgusting..retched, foul..

And she wanted more of it.

“How long have we known each other, Wade?” She asks, watching as he starts on his own crown, pulling his legs up to focus, his tongue poking out the same way he used to in special ops when they put him on sniper.

“I wanna say almost 20 years. But I have a feeling you're going to tell me longer.”

She nods, shifting to lean against him. “Much longer. Closer to 30 now if we're going by earth time.”

“Oh yeah? But I thought..” he tries to recall how old he was when they first met, how old he was now, and wondered how old she was. A small giggle came from him. Man she must be a cougar by now, huh? There's no way she was anywhere near an appropriate age for him. Oh well... Logan wasn't either.

“I have known you since you threw that grenade at me.” She whispers.

“Oh yeaahh! I remember that. I could never forget those eyes…I thought it would be a good idea.”

“Wade.. You thought it would be a good idea to throw a grenade at me, tackle me out of the way, and then present the pull tab to me as a ring?”

He shrugs. “Still sounds romantic to me.”

She chuckles, putting her hand in front of his face as he finally notices the ring.

He pauses in disbelief. “.. is..”

“It's the same one.”

“Does that mean I've been married for 30 years!?” He says, Groaning, then pouting.

“Oh mann!! My marriage isn't even legal!?”

“Mmh…engaged..actually.” She wanted to tell him No. That his marriage on earth was not valid, jealous that Logan got to marry him first. She's already taken Vanessa for that same reason but thought this was too cruel. But… She thought he's been through enough today. “It's different.” Death admits. “The universe doesn't have laws to capitalize on Love.”

“Fuck yeah! I love the universe!”

She lets out a giggle, before sighing, enjoying her time with him. By now he would have gone back. It felt amazing to actually have him. To hold him. For him to be hers once and for all.

Though.. something seemed off. He was thinking about something. She knew he was. He was too quiet. “...Most.. people.. have questions by now.” She says, slowly.

Wade nods. “I know..” It's barely a whisper.

She frowns, sitting back up. “What's wrong?”

He shakes his head, dismissively. “Nothing I just.. I guess I'm not used to the silence..”

“It is very peaceful here.” She says, watching as he finishes his wheat crown, putting it on with a wide smile. “What do you think?”

“I think..” She runs her hand down his arm, to his leg. “You look like a prince.”

“Oh, My dear you seem to have forgotten. If you're my Queen, then that makes me King.”

“Mmmmh no.”

“Alright then. Prince it is.” He agrees, instantly submitting to the idea of not being a king. It was far too much work anyway. He preferred to sit around and look pretty, let his Queen do all the work.

Over the course of 2 weeks.. at least… Wade thought so, not actually sure how long it's been but it felt close to that- They got married. Moved into her home, learned a lot about down here, and overall was happy. This entire time he hasn't felt an ounce of unwanted pain, feeling her nails scratching his back but other than that? No. His skin didn't itch, his bones didn't ache, he could even eat whatever he wanted without throwing it back up. Lady said that by rights he shouldn't be able to eat here but she made an exception.

He felt... normal.

It was gross.

Between tackling her in the field, the bed, the couch, and anywhere else she gave him a small tease, he was currently on his stomach, drawing a picture of them getting married, except he was the one being carried in a white dress.

It's been like this for a bit. She would go out for work and he would lounge around the house. There wasn't much to clean or cook so he just did little things like go outside, gather up more flowers and bring them back in to put in the vase, watching them die the moment he set them down. “Hm… Well that sucks. Oh well.” He'd say. He'd go through the closet of clothes, trying them on and seeing which he preferred, meeting her each evening to ask how her day has been, tell her what he did, and ask if there was anything else he could do for her.

Usually, the answer was no, but today she was holding something in her arms.

“Whatcha got there, gorgeous?” Wade hums, getting up as he brings the drawing to the fridge, pinning it with a magnet shaped like a taco.

“A baby.”

“Aww- wait- is he mine!? I thought that took longer!? And why is he so big? You know what, nevermind I don't care. Gimme gimme gimme!” He gasps at first, eyes lighting up with excitement as he puts his arms out.

“He's not yours Wade.”

“Aw shucks. We'll have to fix that later. As for now- Give!”

“He has to go,Wade.”

“I know!”

“So you can not get attached to him. Understand? His life is over.”

She of all people has overlooked him for decades now? Watching his heart swell 6 times its size the first time he even saw Vanessa let alone all those other small things.. between Theresa and those guys in the army. His heart was so large but never truly full. He could love forever and she thinks it's part of the reason he adored her so. One needed great patience and a true love for mother nature to understand the ongoing death and rebirth of life. To wait for her until his final end. And now he finally had it.

“Oh.. I can still hold him though right?”

She smiles, almost melting. “Even death is so kind to allow a child one last embrace of warmth.. you know that.”

She hands him the baby and Wade instantly begins coeing, nuzzling the boy's head and bouncing him. “Awww what a sweet.. er”

“Andrew.”

“Awww cute little andrew. How’d ya die buddy?”

“Car crash…”

“Oh… poor thing.” He gives the baby a couple of kisses and a good squeeze.

“Where's your mama? Hm? Or just you?” He asks the child, who gabbed nonsense.

“Oh yeah?? Bitch left ya? Don't worry. We'll look after you. Won't we babe?”

“Wade… no. He must go now.”

This was what she worried about. Worried that he would become upset once Andrew had to leave, but She knew how much Wade loved babies… if only she could have her own… she wondered if she would be a good mother before shaking her head. No. Death can never bare children. Not in a way in which she would ever get to meet them anyway-

“Oh.. right… well- where's he going? Surely babies don't go to hell?”

She gives him a sympathetic look. “Oh sweetheart… there is no hell.”

“Ooohh okay. I was wondering how I got into heaven.” He wiggles his eyebrows at her. She laughs quietly. “No honey. There's no “true” heaven either. He's going back to the universe.”

There was actually both Heaven AND Hell but the majority of writers got it wrong. The majority of mortals assumed that heaven was all clouds and lights, robes and wings but in truth Heaven was much more of an Office. A well lit, perfect temperature, never behind or over worked office. With mandatory 5 weeks vacation and paid maternity leave. That is… if angels could HAVE children. Such a silly thing to think about.

Hell on the other hand was in fact on fire. But not because of pitchforks and hellflame, more like because the fax machine was overheating and finally caught ablaze. Yes there was torture and agony for eternity but this was because hell did NOT have mandatory vacation and would fire you if you even LOOKED with child. How could you not be miserable if you are handed 50 new cases every single minute of every day until the end of all time itself?

“Wha-what do you mean? You're just going to throw him into space?? All alone?”

“He won't be alone darling. He has the entire plane of all things known to look after him.”

“Oh…”

She noticed that he was struggling to understand. Oh poor humans. Their brains could never comprehend such things.

“Think of it like this.. how many stars are there in the sky?”

“We think about two trillion but I have a feeling you're going to tell me somethin’ different, yeah?”

“Well… Think of all those stars as souls who have passed on.”

“Hm..What do they turn into?” He scratches his head.

“Energy.”

“So.. they're stars?”

“No. Just shapeless energy ready to form something new.”

“If you think about it.. Stars ARE shapeless energy.”

“Good point.”

“So…How long does that take? To be reincarnated or whatever?” His wrist flicks around a bit, gesturing to the child who was just sent off.

“Your idea of reincarnation is much different than the truth. But to answer your question..It can take forever if the universe deems it.” She smiles upwards. “Do you have any more questions?” She loved answering his questions. Wade was much more curious and intelligent that he let on in the mortal realm and it made her newfound skin tingle.

“...How are we in space right now if the underworld is.. you know.. Under?”

“Ah, that's a good one. Try not to think about places in time as a construct my dear. Time itself isn't even a straight flowing line.. people just think it is because it's easier that way. Little Andrew here is already an adult somewhere.” She smiles, shoulder to shoulder with him as she watches the ‘Star’ move far away, going where the universe needs it.

“He is?”

“Sometime.. yes.”

“...does he remember us?” Wade asks, asking about Andrew yes, but he was actually referring to himself, curious if he would start to lose his earthly memories.

“No. I'm afraid not. If he's lucky he will have some remembrance of his life, but I doubt it because he was so young.”

Wade thinks for a moment. “Where do his memories go?”

“They're dispersed throughout the ‘stars’ just as he was.” It was actually much more complicated than that but eh- this was much simpler. He frowns, processing. (It was a lot easier now that there weren't other people screaming in his head- at least, not as loud.)

“... so.. one day I'll be nothing.. forever… and all of the memories, all the things i've seen… will be gone? Kaput?”

She ponders, thinking if it were possible to keep him here and still retain his memories. Any other human would have their mind wiped by now but she made the exception and now was trying to think of a way to explain this.

“Y-you mean one day Im gonna get sucked up into that and My head, my shoulders, knees and toes, AND my eyes and my body and me are going to disappear?!” He asks, upset.

This, Obviously was a no no for her.

Shaking her head, she took his hand. “No. You won't. You might forget things that are unimportant to you, but you will remember everything that makes you..well.. You. There's no need to worry. You'll still have your body. Over time it will become like mine, but, It's not that bad really. You can't feel a thing.” She explains.

Taking a breath, He sighs heavily before whispering. “...But I want to feel..”

“What? Why?”

“I need to feel, Hope.”

The woman pauses, tilting her head. It wasn't often Wade said her true name.

“Why would you want to feel pain?”

“I-” he starts, eyes darting back and forth as he looks over the expression on his face.

“...Pain is what keeps me alive..”

Her head tilts the other way.

“Not anymore. You don't have to be in pain ever again.”

He shook his head. “That's not what I mean, babe. Without pain, I can't feel. Without feelings… There's no point in living..”

Hope is silent. She can't remember the last time she was ligitamently alive but.. this feeling she felt in her chest when he spoke to her so sweetly was the closest thing She had to that.

“..But.. you aren't alive, Wade..” She whispers, Watching him come to the realization that this was serious. This is it.

Wade Winston Wilson is Dead...with a capital D.

[fantastic-nonsense]

im soso curious, i need to know... why is tim a child of apollo? bless u for not going with fanon<3

[referencing how I decided who the Batfam's godly parents were in my PJO AU WIP]

People like to sort him into Athena because DC has spent the last few years emphasizing how smart he is and how he's better at the more “cerebral” and detective aspects of the job. But Tim’s most prominent pre-reboot traits are not actually his detective or tech skills: they’re his reckless, impulsive bravery, his ability to analyze and think very quickly on his feet in dangerous situations, and his "power of friendship" idealism.

He's a people person; it's one of his greatest strengths. Tim is like...physically incapable of going somewhere and not making at least one friend while he's there. Hell, when he ran off to travel the world on his "fuck you, I'll find Bruce on my own" trip he still managed to pick up his own little crew of assassin friends along the way. Making connections and talking to people and relying on others for help is how he successfully navigates being a hero, as he himself notes on multiple occasions:

"Did you think I was going to run all around the city, desperately trying to save everyone all by myself? I'm not Batman. I have friends." -Red Robin #12

Tim loves his family and friends, and losing so many people he's close to within such a small timespan sends him off the deep end in multiple ways (trying to clone Kon, fighting Dick to get the Lazarus water, isolating himself from everyone, fighting with Dick and running off to find proof that Bruce was alive on his own, etc).

At his core, Tim is an idealist who becomes a hero for no other reason than a) a broken man needs help and a broken family needs mending and b) if Dick won't go back to being Robin he might as well do it, because someone has to be Robin. He sees what will happen if Bruce stays on the path he's on and says "no. I'm not going to let that happen." He's a hero because someone has to help, and he's able and available to do so. He doesn't work on cold hard logic and facts. He works off of gut instinct and then uses his big brain to go find facts and logical conclusions that support those instincts.

Tim was never going to be an Athena child.

So I started thinking. At first, I wanted him to be a Hermes child; it seemed right to frame his parentage around being the child of the messenger of the gods given how he became Robin. But that's not really him, either. Apollo, within the scope of both classical mythology and the PJO-verse's depiction of him and his children, fits him better.

While modern culture tends to zero in a lot on Apollo's status as the god of music, poetry, and the arts (for good reason), Apollo in classical Greek mythology was first and foremost known as the god who (for lack of a better term) helps his people. He's the god of the sun, of light, of medicine and healing, of prophecy, of truth.

Tim comes into Bruce's life at a time when Bruce is at his absolute lowest point. Jason is dead. He's estranged from Dick. He's failing in his mission to save Gotham. He's highkey passively suicidal. And Tim takes it upon himself to fix that. And he does it by being a solid, bright, stable presence in Bruce's life and an extremely blunt, truthful messenger of the future he sees: Batman needs a Robin, and if Bruce doesn't have one he's going to die.

And I didn't abandon his intelligence in the calculations: Apollo is also the god of rational thinking, order, and knowledge, contrasting and working in harmony with Dionysus (the god of irrationality, chaos, and passion). He was also known to be the god whose job it was to interpret the will of Zeus to humankind, which I thought was appropriate for a boy who spends quite a lot of his time being the living communication translator between Bruce and everyone around him.

So. Apollo child.

............also I thought it was funny to make the god of youth the father of the boy DC refuses to allow to age.

[momo-de-avis]

...

Was enjoying my holiday, doing some shopping, and I get two missed calls from my brother at 3pm. I immediately get this sinking feeling in my stomach because we don't talk, he does not have a reason to call me, so I know something terrible has happened. I call back and when he answers, his voice is muffled and he's clearly tearing up. And that's when he says our father was found dead in a pretty fucked up way. And then he says "it's already on the news but he's not been identified". I'm gonna come out and say something I never do, but my father was once an extremely important public figure which is perhaps the main reason why we barely had a relationship and what in the end fucked up my family more than it was fucked already. And now they've identified him and it's everywhere on the news and I can't deal with this shit. I have never been in this position, I spent years of my childhood having my surname recognised by randos who made a huge deal, I have debated changing my surname because of it, but past the 2010s it stopped. I just cannot conceive being thrown in the middle of this shit AGAIN.

Also, what the fuck are you supposed to feel. This person was never there for me except financially , that's the one area he never ever failed. I grew up in a family split in the middle. He never even announced to me that he had a new daughter, introduced me to his partner (who I don't even know if he was married to or not) ONCE, never bothered inviting me to hang out and get to know her at all, just casually showed me a video of a little girl and told me her name, never even told me that was her daughter (i deduced It from context clues) and in the end of his life he was trying, he was trying to get close to me but was so fucking late. Last time we talked he asked me where I was going on vacation and I said Ponte de Lima and he said come over and stay with us, and I was so hesitant because that closeness never existed. A third of my life was spent devoid of this man's presence while reaping the fruits of his public career. Now he's dead in a freak accident and the person who communicated the news to my brother was the woman who gave him my supposedly half sister and never bothered to get to know me cause she doesn't even have my contact.

I feel like my mourning is for the man he could have been but never was, which is not much different from what my adult self has done for a while, and it makes me feel like a monster.

What the fuck am I supposed to feel? To do?

Portuguese people: however vague I was, you're all going to see it on the news and you're going to know immediately when you see it. This is a small country. Combine freak accident with public figure and it will be easily deducted. Yes, if I had a wikipedia page I'd have a blue link on my father's name. I just ask that you keep this to what it is and don't bring it up. I've been avoiding this shit my whole life and I just cannot conceive dealing with this crap right now

[aristocratic-otter]

Hi all! It's so lovely to see so many people motivated by the fresh feeling of a new year. Thank you for sharing your work with me, @artsyunderstudy, @nausikaaa, @monbons, @thewholelemon, @roomwithanopenfire,

@whatevertheweather, @bookish-bogwitch, @martsonmars, @bookishbroadwayandblind, and @prettygoododds.

One thing I learned from reading everyone's year-end retrospectives: if I want to be more involved, I need to stop being such a perfectionist! I could have been posting every week, but I'd be kicking myself over not having finished a piece of every single WIP...and so I wouldn't post. I'm gonna challenge myself to just post, even if I only wrote one thing the previous week. So that said, it was a vacation week for me, so along with posting my gift fic for @facewithoutheart, A Very Zombie Christmas, I did actually do work on a lot of my WIPs, and you can expect updates on at least two of them this week.

So, here we go. As always, I absolutely did not bother to count six sentences:

From my 2023 COTTA, Snow Fox:

It took some convincing to get Penny and Mitali out the window and up onto the roof. Well, more Mitali than Penny. Neither woman much liked the fact that their petticoats and whatever other underthings women wear would be clearly visible from underneath the whole time they were climbing. 

Penny accepted it as a necessity with a grumble and an embarrassed flush, but Mitali truly balked at the idea. Finally, Pen suggested that I lower a loop of rope rather than an end of rope, and the women could sit in the loop and be hauled up. That resolved the whole ridiculous issue, and we had both women out of the house and onto the roof in short order. 

From my COBB with @cutestkilla: The Rat and the River

I’ve always wanted to be part of one of Snow’s famous ‘lunch meetings’.  Penelope’s told me about them. Simon thinks better with food, so all  information is shared and ideas are circulated over meals in Simon’s team. I used to wish to be British myself so I could join his team and take part in these comfortable meetings of minds. I love food and I love talk, especially talk about disease. What could be more enticing than spending time over sandwiches with the famous Snow’s angels? 

Especially one particular angel. 

From Tiktok Dancer:

Penny, Shep, Agatha and I are all staring at him, jaws hanging loose in our surprise at his unexpected eloquence and passion. Baz just sips on his fruity cocktail and smiles back at us demurely.

I suddenly realize how little I know about this man I’ve fallen head over heels for. And not knowing makes me itch—I can’t stand it.

“What dream are you pursuing?”  I blurt. 

Baz looks at me steadily, and I can almost see him revising his first answer in his head.

From my Visitor Baz AU: 

Baz is dead.

Baz is dead. 

I can’t understand it. The idea that Baz, my terrible roommate, will never snark at me from his desk across the room from mine again…that he’ll never use up all the hot water with his endless showers or wear his uniform in such a way that makes it look designer while all the rest of us look boring. He’ll never suck down a rat in the catacombs or earn the highest score on a Magic Words exam. 

Baz is dead. 

From Saving Simon Snow (I’ve got to reread this one to get my mojo back on it, I think. But here’s six new shortish sentences):

In all our years of cohabitation, I’ve never seen Simon truly lose his temper with Bunce. With me, certainly. Hundreds of times. In the Catacombs, he was irritable and defiant. But now? The moment Bunce grabs hold of his arm, Simon goes off. 

 From CORB #1, Baby Mine with @argumentativeantitheticalg

His voice takes on that haughty, lecturing tone I used to hate so much. Or at least that I used to think that I hated. It made me want to slam him against the wall and get in his face. 

I think I maybe just wanted to get my face on his face. Why was I so fucking stupid?

I’m lost in rumination on my own failings when the rise in volume from the crib and the pointed clearing of Baz’s throat both bring me back.

From CORB #2: The Stoves Come On At Night, with @ebbpettier

I wake up.

For several seconds, I blink groggily into the early morning light. I try to catch at the wisps of the dream I was having, but they’re fading. 

I can’t have been asleep for more than a couple of hours. Like I’d planned, I’d slept a few hours last night and then got up at three a.m. Three hours later, after I’d finished a sketchy patrol, I headed back to bed as the first rays of the sun were just breaking over the horizon. 

It can’t be more than 8 am now. What on earth woke me up? Even if I can’t really remember it, I’d been having such a pleasant dream…

Suddenly, I realize that the annoying buzzing sound I hear is an alarm–the fire alarm!

Tags and howdies to: @chen-chen-chen-again-chen, @dragoneggos, @erzbethluna, @palimpsessed, @fatalfangirl,

@melodysmash, @moments-au-crayon22, @moodandmist,  @mostlymaudlin, @onepintobean,

@raenestee, @tea-brigade, @upuntil6am, @whogaveyoupermission, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz,

@krisrix, @shemakesmeforget, @confused-bi-queer, @nightimedreamersghost, @mooncello,

@shrekgogurt, @cosmicalart,  @theearlgreymage, @iamamythologicalcreature, @ileadacharmedlife,

@thehoneyedhufflepuff, @facewithoutheart, @thewholelemon, @skeedelvee, @ivelovedhimthroughworse

@messofthejess, @best--dress, @noblecorgi, @alexalexinii,  @hushed-chorus, 

@rimeswithpurple, @blackberrysummerblog, @cutestkilla, @letraspal, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe,

@wellbelesbian, @ic3-que3n, @emeryhall, @larkral, @youarenevertooold,

@j-nipper-95, @ebbpettier, and @argumentativeantitheticalg

[justmenoworries]

Lore Olympus Episode 280 (Finale) Spoilers

Final episode les gooooo!

As expected, the "fight" was underwhelming af. Gaia just yoinks Apollo out of Ouranos (lol) and that's it. And despite being dead - sorry "in HibERnaTioN" for like milennia Gaia somehow knows exactly what's up. Persie has to stay three months in the mortal realm because we gotta get the change of seasons in here somehow and after RS fucked up all the other ways it could have happened this extremely weak "you gotta" is all that's left.

The rest of the episode is time-skips because RS has learned absolutely nothing.

Persie gets crowned even though she was already queen, TGOEM disbands because RS hates women supporting women if it's not for the purpose of pushing them towards a man.

Oh yeah and Apollo is sentenced to community service.

You heard me.

Community service.

After admitting to sexually assaulting Persephone on live TV. After literally trying to murder the king of Olympus. After teaming up with Kronos 2.0 and almost causing the end of the world.

Community service.

I fucking hate it here I'm so glad this bullshit is over.

Hera gets to be sole ruler of Olympus after divorcing Zeus (how does that work???) and getting together with Echo (I wish I could feel anything for their relationship but RS was too busy slobbering over hxp to develop it).

Eros and Psyche were let out of Leto's basement off-screen and have a kid now because every couple in this comic has to be a standard nuclear family in some way.

We also skip over Dionysus growin up because otherwise RS would have to write Persie and Hades actually being parents to him. Melinoe happens because Persie's magical womb powers make Hades' infertility more of a minor obstacle (have I mentioned I hate it here) and then we also get Macaria because why tf not.

Whelp, that's all she wrote!

I won't lie even though I've grown to despise this comic and everything it stands for it's helped me find some really cool people and a fun community.

Even some people who've taken the premise and did so much more with it.

Sincerely, thanks to everyone whose essays and posts and comics created such a wonderful time when the actual comic failed to do so.

It's been fun. Take care!

[mdhwrites]

how would you have written eda's curse and Luz's time in hexside? Eda's curse supposed to be a stand in for chronic illness but not only did they get rid of it they turned it into her 'superpower'- I know a lot of people call that a bad faith critic but it bothers me and just because hexside is cool and magic doesn't mean it's separate from the rest of the BI's laws and darwinism plus Luz is neurodivergent and has no biological magic- she would have issues with bullying and learning like she did back on her world- things wouldn't be magically fixed and might even be worse?

Why is it that The Owl House has nothing interesting to be done with powerlessness? To turn one's theorized weaknesses into strengths? Why do they just have to become strengths?

This is one of the biggest ways in which I would argue TOH is brain dead. Most other aspects of the show I can criticize but I have to admit that they tried. That there's something there... But it's entirely missing here. Which the fact that in an adventure series, the show cannot challenge the protagonist when they have a SEVERE disadvantage like this is emblematic of how the show doesn't challenge anyone on anything.

Eda's curse is like THE plot point of S1. Its finale and S2's opening, and even Affearances, all revolve around how we have gone from being worried about using magic to not being able to use magic. It's a HUGE status quote, especially because it leaves these characters so much more vuln- Oh never mind. Eda has explosive potions and glyphs that outdo all of her magic that she did before. It's not a problem. Move the fuck on.

I talked to an author after Clouds on the Horizon about how Eda gaining a coven sigil means nothing. They argued back that she'd lose her magic then. I shot back that she already lost it... And they admitted, being a fanfic author for TOH, that they FORGOT EDA DIDN'T HAVE MAGIC.

But why would you even remember that? She uses more magic with the glyphs than she did without them. The one time the curse really got in the way was with Tibbles. Then it not just became a superpower, it had EXTRA POWERS! Like what we saw in Eda's Requiem. Her magic genuinely got more interesting and more devastating AFTER losing it.

And this paralleled with Luz. Covention is the ONE time her not having magic comes up as something that puts her in danger and the answer is just to have someone else do the magic, which is always the solution in S1 early on. Need to fight Bounty Hunters? Bring in Willow. Need to escape detention? Yo Gus, use that good good illusion magic of yours. My own unique personality traits, skills and abilities instead? Why the fuck would we use that when everyone is overpowered and that's SO much easier a solution?

And once Luz does have her full arsenal, she rivals ANY other mage we've seen below Lilith's level. Fight a Selkidamus? Sure, I'm better than the entire fucking boat and will solo this bitch after they fail and I only need them for physical strength. The Conformatorium is my bitch by the end of S1 despite no training or practice. I can just walk up to Warden Wrath and render him completely at my mercy with just slips of paper. After those two back to back moments, anytime Luz loses or is challenged is just narrative contrivance because we've seen that her power is essentially limitless. It doesn't even cost her energy since her stamina seems entirely disconnected from her spells...

Which Gus reinforces because when he picks up glyphs, even when nervous with them, they are bluntly stronger than any other version we've seen of those spells. The largest fireball in the entire show is when Gus nervously casts his first glyph. It's horseshit.

And as you point out, it has cascading effects. If you want boring combat because otherwise you would need to sacrifice time from character work, that's one thing. However, the show's premise is on Luz learning magic. Learning to be the best version of herself. Because magic is not challenged though, she does not have to improve as a person to improve her magic. That's why three of her four glyphs have nothing to do with moral lessons. Arguably, all of them, and that's not getting into how the combo glyphs happen off screen and you can't argue shortening because all but one combo glyph is gotten before the shortening took effect. As such, you're not doing character work AND you're not doing interesting, entertaining combat or adventures.

I think the most damning thing here, period, is that I've mixed these subjects because it's obvious. A depowered, master of magic working with someone who wants to be that master of magic to understand the world and their abilities. It should be a bonding point for them that they don't have magic or that magic comes hard for them. But... It's not. It literally never is. The closest it EVER comes to that is when Luz teaches Eda glyphs which is like all of two minutes between two episodes and that's in SEASON TWO. It's not a reversal of dynamics because the first dynamic just straight up NEVER HAPPENED.

But it's easier to just give them powers. To just give super forms or combo glyphs or whatever else the person needs in that moment. It's easier than exploring the complicated subjects of not having something everyone else has, even though shows for TODDLERS literally have done it for decades in single episodes.

How am I supposed to agree that this is the deepest show with the most complex writing when they could not bother even once answering the question "How does someone without magic win against that win against something that does?" And for a show with two of its protagonists entirely missing magic at different points in the show, that's downright embarrassing.

TOH would have to be more than just another isekai using fantasy elements for power fantasy elements to give a shit about that though. Shame to anyone who actually cares about those genres though, this isn't the place for you. See you next tale.

======+++++======

Before anyone tries to crack back with this btw: Putting a glyph on Belos WOULD count if not for the fact that Luz has to break every version of the invisibilty spell we've ever seen for that to have worked. Her magic just did what it needed to do. She wasn't smart, the show cheated, which is essentially the whole point of this blog. And for those curious: EVERY other use of the Invisibility spell includes making the entire person vanish which makes sense since it is connected to the breath of the caster. Then out of nowhere, Luz can do it to a single object that she's wearing despite no one ever making their shirt even accidentally vanish. That's not clever, that's bullshit.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.