#this is why i started sleeping early
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Everyone hates me and wants me to die :D
#this is why i started sleeping early#bro my melatonin ☹️#wont come until tmrw so im stuck like this#now ill undo all the effort i put in fixing my sleep kill me!!!
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being a sanji fan is an intense experience because it takes you like 200 episodes to finally understand why sanji's eyes turned lifeless for a flickering moment at those words
#epi 793#me : im gonna sleep early tonight#me at 3 am : *thinks about sanji's past and starts crying*#man why couldn't i just do cocaine to pass my time why did i start watching one piece#one piece sanji#black leg sanji#sanji#vinsmoke sanji#kuroashi no sanji#whole cake island#whole cake arc#queued im so fuckin bummed goodbye#but yes i still maintain my stance on sanji and the punk hazard children.he was absolutely right#sanji my beloved#sanji meta
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Sanji and Usopp during The Sabaody Incident™ won't leave my mind.
Usopp standing in front of Sanji protectively because he is wounded and he can't fight, so Usopp will do it for him ("I'll do what you can't do").
There is just something about Sanji's expression when he realizes he might actually lose Usopp. This is my interpretation, at least. He is literally frightened.
Usopp helping Sanji stand up to run away. This is crucial for something I want to point out later: Sanji needs help to stand up. (Also, Brook disappears trying to protect them both and saying he will do anything to save them even if it costs him his life. I am feeling sick).
Sanji being self-sacrificing and blaming himself for not being able to protect them/act sooner is not new. But he does manage to gain the strength to fight when Usopp is the only one left with him and the possibility of losing him is even more real now.
The thing that I love the most about this is not Sanji sacrificing himself for Usopp, because he does that. He is like that. But Usopp not running away or moving in the slightest because he refuses to leave Sanji on his own.
Something I'd like to point out too is that Sanji actually touches Kuma before Usopp disappears. He tries to fight and protect him and Kuma could've easily sent Sanji to Momoiro Island right away, and yet Sanji was just sent flying far from the scene and forced to see Usopp disappear in front of him.
And I am not saying that "not being able to protect both Brook and Usopp (especially Usopp) is needed for Sanji to realize he has to become stronger and find more reasons to go back with the crew" but not being able to protect both Brook and Usopp (especially Usopp) is needed for Sanji to realize he has to become stronger and find more reasons to go back with the crew.
Not to mention that we can't deny (right after Water 7/Enies Lobby) that Usopp is one of Sanji's strongest bonds within the crew. This specific scene focusing on them both is more than enough to prove it.
Sanji seeing Usopp disappear in front of his eyes without being able to do anything to save him.
Remember what I said about Sanji needing help to stand up seconds ago? Well. This is him the moment Usopp disappears. What adrenaline and the power of love do to a mf.
They are so "I can lose everything, but not you. Oh God, not you" shaped.
#sorry for bringing up sabaody i am sure nobody wants to think about it#but they mean the world to me and there is SO MUCH to unpack#we don't talk enough about this i think ?????#sanji spending two whole years having nightmares about not being able to save usopp. about seeing usopp disappearing in front of him#he still has them btw#sanji having to sleep with usopp post-ts because he is afraid of waking up and seeing he is gone#also i am having thoughts about brook protecting them and#and brook saying he will do anything to save them#because sanji has only heard that from zeff so......... so just thinking. i have thoughts. i told you brook is one of sanji's father figure#back to sanuso- thinking about how this whole scene despite having brook too is mainly focused on both sanji and usopp#thinking abt how the others disappear mostly focusing only on luffy's reactions but this emphasizes a lot sanji's attempts to save usopp#why would you give them a whole scene i am throwing up#sorry still thinking abt sanji apologizing to usopp for not being able to protect him or#or having nightmares he definitely has nightmares about it#and usopp just. staying with him and making him see that he is alright now. and letting him cry.#early post-ts kills me#still angry we don't have almost post-ts sanuso#i might start crying thinking abt them so it'll be better if just shut up and post this#one piece#black leg sanji#usopp#sanuso#sabaody
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Seriously how can M*r*uders stans like random Slytherins (who tf are Evan Rosier, Pandora (is that Luna's mum and why tf is she Evan Rosier's twin in half of these), and I don't even want to discuss Regulus) and make them Actually Misunderstood Good People Who Were Forced Down That Path when at least one of them *coughreguluscough* was obsessed with Voldemort
And then turn around and make Snape an awful person?
#i saw a post with hcs about the marauders and the “slytherin skittles”#and i swear to god they gave everyone a lil nuance but snape was evil#just... how?????#im starting to wonder if they just can't accept that the marauders were actually horrible people as teens#and so in order to digest that they need to make snape awful to be like “Oh but he DESERVED it because he's So Awful”#it's just ridiculous#like i hate james but i can also acknowledge that he did ultimately love lily and harry and would have been a loving partner and dad#even if he was a fool#and i don't vibe well with sirius but i also acknowledge that he was fucking traumatised so yeah he wouldn't be the best person#why is it so hard for the marauders stans to understand that their faves tormenting a geniunely innocent child#because honestly? severus was innocent from the start#they're the ones who pushed him over the edge#I've said it once and I'll it again:#being into the Dark Arts doesn't automatically make someone evil#anyway i need to go sleep#or at least try. i got very pissed lmao#severus snape#pro snape#anti marauders fandom#(not even anti marauders as much its their fandom that pisses me off)#also#anti james potter#(just because i want to be petty UwU)#snape defense#also you know what#anti regulus black#<-whoever he was it wasnt what the fandom said#in my mind he was one of the worst out of the black cousins from an early age#(mostly as a mental Fuck You to the stans lmao)
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the difference between these two 🥺 both??
funny story though. my roommate is still taking food but my memory is so bad when it comes to things i don’t eat myself (adhd)
when i talk to friends and family about the situation the first thing they ask is, “are you sure you’re not sleep eating?” which is adorable. they wanna believe, even if for a second, that maybe i’m not truly at fault for making myself into such a cow 🥺 i get it bc im getting very fat even with the thievery but at the same time. im literally being gaslit
#by my roommate#every time j bring smthn up she’s like ‘oh??? that’s crazy??? wow’#snd she’s a bad liar but i’m such a pushover bc#i have had the fridge so filled with food i look like such a pig i can’t blame her#it’s FINE#but how cute. i wanna start sleep eating 🥺#funnel me in my sleep? make me confused as to how i’m gaining so fast?#i wanna ask someone why i’m having such a hard time moving around when im not eating a lot more#cuddle up to me n change the subject if i bring up how fast we ran out of heavy cream this time#<3#talk#ask#does this count for that tag?#what if my feeder gaslit me. in a cute sexy oh u cow kind of way#i swear the funnel moves after each night and i wake so full but obviously im just forgetting where we put it each day#it’s getting hard to fit through the doorway#obviously i’ve just been lazier than normal. no way im getting that fat#we knew i’d have mobility problems but so early on? i just need to get out#it’s not because he’s started to pump more calories into me anyway he can
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Just to minimize my chances of being genuinely misunderstood OR deliberately misinterpreted, and crucified for something I don't think, How Dare You Say We Piss on the Poor website etc...I'm gonna say this right up top. I absolutely understand why people don't like Thessaly as a character, if anyone does completely unironically stan her as some kind of feminist hero who Did Nothing Wrong uwu, I personally see it as a bit of a red flag. I don't like terfs real or fictional. In a vacuum, I could even completely sympathize and agree with the people who want her cut.
HOWEVER.
It's really something to me to see people clamoring for her to be cut, because she carries and expressed an ugly indefensible prejudice (transphobia) in words towards (1) person. Meanwhile Hob fucking Gadling enacted one of the most violent forms of antiblack racism I can even think of against thousands no, millions of people, the ripple effects of which still affect billions more today. Just a little light idk, profiting off the fucking slave trade and had to be told by someone else that it was bad...and he's a fan favorite.
People are saying Thessally being Dream's love interest reflects badly on him or is somehow endorsement by the narrative (?!?!?!?!?!? Didn't she (SPOILER ALERT AS IF IT MATTERS BY NOW) help participate in his extended assisted suicide? She's not painted as a great person to me just another character what are y'all SMOKING whatever fine. It's fine this is fine.) But shipping Dream with Mr. Former Slaver is not only not verboten or frowned on widely in the fandom but its THEE most popular pairing by far. So...why the difference?
Like where are the same fans who are saying Thessaly shouldn't just be more clearly shown to be wrong, she shouldn't even be in the show at all when it comes to Hobert's crimes??? Yes, transphobia is indefensible. Isn't racism?
And I hear the cries of "it's fiction!!!" Already rallying (if anyone who needs to hear this even sees it lol) to which I say:
HORSESHIT. I KNOW you don't, deep down, really agree because if you did, why get upset about Thessaly being included??? Why does what she said to one person matter if it's Just Fiction You Guyze. Fictional characters are allowed to do bad things and fiction isn't reality sweaty....except when you only apply that standard to fictional racists you like and simp for, but fictional transphobes you don't are SO HARMFUL they shouldn't even be portrayed in fiction.
Like. Give me a big fat BREAK. This looks like bullshit, no? I'm sorry, but I'd love for someone to try and give any other explanation besides one personally offended you or hit home for you, and the other doesn't.
And if that bothers you or you feel like it says something negative about you...idk what you want me to say??? You can't control how other people perceive you and that's how people outside this majority-of-the-fandom bubble see it. You don't need to respond, I just wish and genuinely hope this gives you a moment to think about why fans who ARE bothered by both (and not just paying lip service to being bothered by the one but railing against the other) are so frustrated with people saying everyone is welcome but in practice only bending over backwards for the comfort and emotions of themselves, and people they can easily relate to.
You don't have to like Thessaly (I don't. I find her an interesting antagonist, I don't stan her. And frankly imo likability is not. the point of her character) but you'll pardon me for feeling more than a bit cynical and side eying people's motivations for what seems a...pretty obvious double standard, on what fictional crimes related to real world issues matter to y'all, and which clearly don't. Either actually bring the same energy to the table for fictional people who committed atrocities, even if against a group you're not part of and thus don't feel the need to empathize with, or just carry on, but accept that you don't have the SLIGHTEST room to talk about cutting characters who do immoral things. And you also need to accept that you look like a hypocrite when you do.
#thessaly#wanda the sandman#hob gadling#fandom racism#I could've cried sexism!!! Problematic Male vs Female Characters except 1) I don't actually think that's the main reason *here*#2) there are WAY better examples of that particular double standard in this fandom#also i can admit when I'm a bit of a hypocrite or was.#i used to dip my toes into the dreamling stuff too early on#but idk. It just got too sour seeing ppl whitewash (lol I know I'm a comedian)#what he did over and over. And I genuinely had started to wonder#if the show hadn't included that particular crime and I'd just imagined it from the comics because#my memory is shit sometimes and I guess I was naive. I *wanted* to believe someone would talk aboutit#if it had made it in. but ultimately i went back and checked and no#and seeing how the whole fandom behaving affected my non-white mutuals some of whom...#like these are my friends man or ppl I just respect and I can't just. Ignore their feelings and their pov#and act like they werent making points or it doesn't matter#like it's all just fun and games for everyone on the same terms. And seeing how easy it was#for everyone to ignore was so unsettling. I couldn't keep pretending it was just fiction and didn't affect anyone real#Call me a bully a t3rf apologist (fuck you and for the record. no)#a puritan or a Fancop (actually stop comparing#people disagreeing with you online to what cops do. For fucks sake you just make it look like nothing is really real to you outside fandom)#whatever man. Whatever helps you sleep. I'm just gonna block you#if you're clearly sticking your fingers in your ears. engaging with you is a waste of time and energy then#Hell I have sympathy for anyone who doesn't like thessaly#especially trans fans. Especially rn. But lbr that sympathy for a lot of the white trans/queer fans only goes one way!!!#never gets extended to anyone else's issues. Like THATSthe issue. And it's shitty!#(sorry this post is not about me in the confessional lol that's why I put this at the bottom#I just had feelings to get out and yes its my blog but i didn't want to clog the airways)
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This is no time for distractions! Seriously, you have a great magician standing right here... You don't want to miss the best part, do you!?
Hello, Travelers~ Today, we will be introducing a new character, the famed Fontainian magician Lyney!
His performances are renowned for their creativity, never failing to take the audience on a wondrous journey. Let's learn more about the Great Magician~
[The GIFs demonstrating Lyney's Talents were too large to post to Tumblr. Check the original article here to see them.]
#genshin impact#genshin impact updates#genshin impact news#official#lyney#why am i awake this early i need to go back to sleep#sigh. should i start getting the gifs from tw*tter would that be better
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fully HALF an HOUR looking for one glam kitchen recipe video bc i couldnt remember what it was called and i really really wanted it for breakfast. i still have 2 do the dishes before i even start tho
#i woke up at a quarter to five again!!!!!!! why! it's my weekend#i dont MIND it but at the same time if it becomes a habit i WILL start to mind#i did go to bed super early last night. so maybe my body just decided i'd had enough of sleep#anyway!!!!! dishes!! then migas#in the process of this fetch quest i learned that this woman is only vaguely a tiktok cook she's mostly a musician#who opened for lana del rey?? tbh that tracks for her . but i listened to some of her stuff and i quite like it
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why is it that when im sleepiest, everythings extra loud
#like why has there been sirens every 2 minutes and people screaming and fireworks and and#i just need a lil nap pls#like the one time i have an early start and feel capable of sleeping early and its made impossible#id use ear plugs but last time i slept w them i also slept through all my alarms so idk if i can do tht when i have a 6am shift
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vent in tags sorry
cw: mention of loss
#adding a long note to the beginning so no one sees the actual vent in the case that they don’t want to which is absolutely okay#okay that’s probably good#i feel like a failure today.#my car wouldn’t start on friday and i haven’t had a moment to actually call a mechanic until today#called early in the morning and he said he’d call me back with a time#i’ve reached out multiple times since then and have heard NOTHING#if i don’t get it fixed today i’ll have to take my partners car instead#and when i asked them if that would possibly be okay#they started off on a rant about how they were planning to do all this shit tomorrow morning and now can’t if they don’t have their car#but genuinely. how tf was i supposed to know about their plans?? why did they have to say it all like this is completely my fault???#i’m sorry that i’m still in a not so good mental place right now and might forget to do things in a more timely manner#i’ve had two grandparents pass away in the span of a few WEEKS. give me a little grace.#i give them the same understanding every day when they’re having a rough time#so why can’t they offer me the same thing?#i know they’re just stressed and tired and busy but FUCK SO AM I#i’m just. over it. i want to go to sleep.#and by sleep i mean literal sleep i’m not insinuating anything darker i promise#i may be in a rough spot mentally but it is not that kind of rough <3 i’m safe#just. very tired. and in need of support.#i feel like i’m always giving and rarely getting support in this relationship.#and now i’m just feeling like a burden and an inconvenience for even needing the extra support in the first place#the urge to run away and start my life over is strong holy shit
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Me looking through all the reblogs/comments from people genuinely concerned about my wellbeing:
#/silly of course... I very much appreciate your worries but I need to reassure you all: I AM OKAY!!!#And disregarding the first week (was on my period) I have a decent sleep schedule. I've just started waking up early#i'll attempt to explain why I work so fast but I do need to give it some thought:#1) probably the most likely reason is just my art style; its relatively simple and cartoony and i've done it for years.#it could just be quick to work with?#speaking of which 2) I've been drawing for a long while... nearly all my life but getting more “serious” starting 3rd grade#it could be I've done the skills so much I just do them really fast? that and my art style maybe#in other words my art style and maybe my experience with cartooning make me work so fast? I have no clue#even this doesn't feel entirely accurate but I guess it provides some reason... like papercutzo said maybe its very stubborn motivation too#but seriously though please don't worry about me (yet)!!! I'm not overworking myself I promise :)#doodle#artsandramblesandstuff#update I read a thing about cartoonists working quickly and I think another thing that ties with the 2nd reason is practice? maybe?#sorry for sounding so distraught (if I'm honest its that I was beginning to think something was wrong with me for working so fast)#(thats why Im attempting to answer this)#(i should shut up now)
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welcome to an episode of advice from ol’ mother may 👵
(seriously though i might just make a tag at this point)
on this episode of advice from ol’ mother may 👵 …
I BEG YOU LIKE ACTUALLY DO NOT GO TO THE GYM ON AN EMPTY STOMACH OR NO SLEEP 🙏🙏🙏
#so today i woke up early to go to the gym but i don’t eat i forgot why actually#anyway i also pulled my second all nighter of the week 😜#yesterday’s was for the event i just couldn’t sleep last night#so i get to the gym blah blah#then it’s like the last wxcerise i do before i leave and i can’t do it#like i was so dizzy even after the treadmill 💀#and then my ears started ringing and i tasted blood#um i finished the workout though? yay me? 👏#so yeah ✊#nvm ALSO it is 76 degrees at 9:30 am rn so i could’ve died from heat stroke too#also my weights were way too heavy i just wanted to beat my mom 😭#so that’s how may cheated death 😜#⊹₊ ⋆ may yaps#gold stars for yall who made it here ⭐️⭐️⭐️
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oh no. oh no i wanna be warm and cozy and snuggled up in my bed all day oh noooo what do i do
#i dont wanna go to woooork#see this is why ive gotten back into my old habit of waking up absurdly early on days i have work early#so i have time to accept how i angry i am about getting up >:(#im subbing at the high school today. i could easily like. wake up at 6#but i set my alarm for 5:15 so by the time 7:20 comes around (school start time) im like well ive been awake for ages#tales from diana#it's not a genius idea but it is an idea#btw. when i went to this high school i was never awake at 5:15#i woke up at 6 and got dressed and went back to bed until 6:50#and then went to school#i was so sleep deprived in those day tho
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Natsume: You didn't sleep a wink last night. Why not go and grab a few now? Natori [sparkling]: I'm just fine. It takes more than sleep deprivation to dull my dazzling self, so don't you worry your fussy little head. Natsume [concerned]: Nonsense like that is exactly what someone suffering from sleep deprivation would say! Sensei: Oh really? Has he been sleep-deprived every day of his life?
so i've been watching the natsume dub -
#sensei referring to matoba as the 'pirate-princess-tightrope-walker'????? PLSSSS#sensei to natsume about matoba: your wussy little punches won't do jack#also yes sensei he probably has been sleep-deprived every day of his life. this man is a dumpster fire#thanks to qserasera (thank you qserasera!!!) i've been revisiting the natori and matoba episodes#i had started a rewatch earlier this year but got sidetracked early in season 2 so i'm picking up from there#so to refresh my memory i read through the episode summaries i had written for season 1/early season 2#and got SO EMOTIONAL??? just from reading the summaries? what the fuck???#me earlier today: i can't reread le petit prince right now because my heart can't take it#also me: tra la la let's see what natsume is going to do to pulverize my soul into powder today#natsume's book of friends#natsume yuujinchou#natori shuuichi#my posts#anyway i probably would never have tried the dub except that someone put some clips of english dub matoba on here#and i was OBSESSED with the voice acting???#i'm so glad i decided to try it because so many of the line readings are just delightful#natsume and sensei's bickering especially#i don't love madara's youkai voice. and i like the japanese voice playing touko a lot better than the english voice#but it's nice to be able to listen and like do the dishes at the same time! i love subs but you can't really multitask#i guess since this is the dub i should be calling him master not sensei but i'm too used to sensei#i must say though that i'm really enjoying natsume calling him 'master kitty cat' in full earnestness#i don't speak japanese so i wasn't getting the full effect from 'nyanko-sensei'#i get now why tanuma was so embarrassed
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Bump in the Night & Sleeptober Day 14: A Lying Smile & Tomb
#6#Sleeptober#Sleeptober 2024#Sleep Token#Bump in the Night#Bump in the Night 2024#Nomads#Nomads Webtoon#Webtoon#Why hello I am very early with the arts here#That is by design I’m trying not to fall behind againnnnnnn#Well I wasn’t really behind just later than I wanted to be#Anyway yeah so we here#First one is from the WT Nomads!!! I love that story a lot. Fun cast very intriguing magic system funny mask creatures deep themes#Lance Satra Poko Saber Fletcher Simon Estelle Momo Barb my beloveds#Intel and your evil mask creatures please leave the premises you are not welcomeeee#Satra especially my beloved I’ve loved his arc throughout and his determination to wear only crop tops and get as many tats and piercings#as he wants. Character ever#So I drew him here. It’s not thaaat great bc it’s a side profile but uh ignore that#His relationship with Hilda is also interesting#And then for sleeptober I drew vess in the pose of the album cover#With the lyrics of my favorite song from the album#TPWBYT my beloved water/ocean album going up there with Wasteland Baby!#So sad I didn’t start my blog a year earlier bc then it would’ve had the same birthday as this album but whatever#Yeahhhhh artsssssss see you tomorrow
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why does the sun rise at 4 am and set at like 6 pm in animal crossing since when is that how the sun works
#I hate playing acnh in the dark why does it have to be so dark in the evening but do bright do early grahh#Don't wanna grind anymore but don't want to go to sleep don't want to start smth new I'm stuck in boredom purgatory send help#What if I made every lmk character into acnh villager#might do that actually heeheehoo#alright gnnnnn tmblr byeee
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