#this is why i hate reading new books
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Idk how I'm doing dude, I just know I want to end my life cause the book series I've been immersed in for the past week has come to a glaring end and idk what to do with my self and this reality. Anyways how's your mum doing?
#this is why i hate reading new books#hualian#has me in a chokehold#mxtx tgcf#new favourite author#new fandom to obsess over
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Sorry for the lack of posts, have some more headcanons!!
#MYYY self indulgent V headcanon number 234 is that shes a huge fucking dork#i.e she was a huge bookworm as a worker#well she was a dork in general#reading. painting. dancing. all of it#but alot of that. was kinda things she had to leave with the rest of her. when she became a Disassembly Drone.#And while alot of her died in the manor. she still kept some things close.#and one of those things is reading!!!#she cringes at like 90% of what she used to read but still goes out of her way to reread the copies she finds or is given#N usually gives her copies#She acts like she hates it but still reads them alone anyway#theres a reason she has bad eyesight and its because she reads with the book 3 inches from her face in the dark#also Uzi probably makes her read Twilight at some point and laughs the entire time (they both hate it. Uzi just likes messing w/ her)#anyway i just like the idea that in a world where V is finally allowed to start her life again#she looks for the things she loved that she had to leave behind#and finds new joy in them as who she is now#she might not be that little worker anymore#but shes still the girl who loved to curl up in the library when no one would notice. reading any book she could get her hands on.#idk i just like the idea that V deep down is still just a girl who wants to have fun.#i just want her to be HAPPY#anyway do you guys wanna hear why Chappell Roan's “Pink Pony Club” is so V code- (i fall down the stage stairs)#murder drones#serial designation v#serial designation n#uzi doorman#also for context ive never read Pride and Prejudice despite meaning to#its just one of the only actual romance books i know off the top of my head#imean no offense to it. I just like joking abt V reading romance sdkfjkldsjf
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I would love to take a Moment of Silence to appreciate that the Ever After High fandom is still alive and healthy on Tumblr.
#ever after high#mattel#like seriously each and everyday I miss them posting a new episode#the fact that it ended on a cliffhanger is so fucking frustrating#like im sorry but this is why I hate Descendants with a passion#not that there's anything wrong with liking Descendants and the characters look...fine I guess?#but EAH was just 100% superior#And I still resent myself for not getting all the original dolls#I'm hoping Mattel revives it like with MH and makes a new story for it#but with G3 being on hiatus or canceled and Descendants being more popular I kinda doubt it#never read the book series either#I heard they were good#they should make more if those are considered canon#are the book series canon? IDK i just feel like they are
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anybody else feeling. a way. about the state of the world
#mlm scams and horrible new yorker articles that were sent to me and ai and just bleh.#i hate.. fake intelligence. fake business. poor writing. and all of it for money. what is that fucking worth really#also even looking at this damn cereal box is making me.. blegh. “keto friendly high protein gluten free grain free soy free wheat free--”#SHUT UPPPPPP#WHY ISNT EVERYTHING LIKE THAT HUH. WHY IS EVERYTHING BULLSHIT#AND IT'S ALWAYS ALL BEEN BULLSHIT MAAAAAN THAT'S THE GODDAMN THING#THE WORLD HAS ALWAYS BURNED#i just wanna bake some fucking bread make some damn tea and read a damn good book#lessons of the hand and the mouth#ok to rb
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#in other news: I decided to try out that reading tracker Fable#not at all for the social aspect (ew) but because the various trackers looked pretty#readers: I hate it 😅#navigation is a nightmare#editing reading details is next to impossible because I can't find any of the options I need#and I am not the kind of person who updates a tracker every time I read a bit of a book#(this is why I hate how my library does their summer reading program. girl I don't know how many MINUTES I spent reading yesterday!)#*scuttles back to my beloved storygraph* I'm sorry I lusted after pretty graphics#your pie charts are enough for me
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Oc drawing. Dzmuha in the old village.
And a little snippy... From my 180 page google doc of nightmares. Backhanded compliment from local tryhard internalised mysoginist girl.
#look at me pretending like anyone knows what I'm talking about#art#illustration#concept art#oc art#original character art#original character#oc story#original art#digital painting#i want to talk more about the little text portion#what happens with a lot of diehard conformist people is that they don't form the concept of moral principle#outside of the current social norm#breaking news: mysoginy is always the social norm#and in vaguely 1930s eastern european villages they REALLY hated non-participation#read an old belarusian book about how not making friends with your neighbours will make your son a nazi. yeah that makes sense#so this blonde girl is a very avoidant individual whose idea of participating in this fucked up ass world is nonstop labour#this C: girl is not making sense because#it's a vague shot at a vague notion of “something bad”#she doesn't have a hard moral code so it's like sure I guess we slyly hating now. doesn't care to know why she's saying this#or what this sentence says about her#like she isn't saying that we shouldn't smile so we don't end up ugly#she's on some BULLSHIT basically
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another fun tech fool decision ive made is that im highly aware of the foibles of having all your files saved to one specific machine, particularly being unable to access them on other computers, yet i nurse an instinctive hatred for the cloud. Bro I Do Not Trust You
#well i put some shit on there obviously but like. microsofts Keep All Your Shit On The Cloud stuff can fuck right off#my relationship to tech is very much defined by the fact that im a hipster with a pathological hatred for the mainstream#i dont like using websites instead of programs i dont like updating software i dont like using bluetooth#i love it when tech is inconvenient and bad#and like thats genuinely impacting my life a little bcos there are things i actively avoid for being mainstream but whatevs!#its fine. also just dont ever try to get me to watch something i perceive as 'popular'#which can range from big new movies to shit i only know bcos i have one mutual who posts abt it#we have no idea why we hate that we think its bcos of the whole 'formative years spent on reviews side of youtube' thing#now if u try to get me to watch a video essay abt a book ive never read ill trying to hit you with hammers#we're rehabilitating we're getting more into actually experiencing art for ourselves instead of living life secondhand!#which we're bad at bcos we fucked it and now we see 'reading books' as a Task that takes Effort whereas reading fic is free#but yknow. smile. i just need to get into meditation and ill b fixed itll b fine. just need to meditate#sidenote its hard to meditate when you flinch away from a lack of stimuli#both from an adhd 'boredom is pain' perspective and from a plural 'Dont Leave Me Alone With My Thoughts' perspective#anyway where the fuck was i. its been like 40 minutes in the library and ive spent all of them textposting#oh well u guys love the sound of my voice and i am so so awesome. youre welcome for more of my words. yay
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I am so tired of how Quotev/Wattpad level fanfiction, written by what reads as a 15 year old getting into their first fandom, gets pushed up the book ratings in the gay romance genre (m/m). Why is Red White and Royal Blue always at the top. Why is Boyfriend Material. Why must I suffer. Where are the standards. Why is a 30/40 year old recommending me, a grown adult man, stories that feel like they were written for highschoolers who don't like to read so they pick up the trashiest, most easily digestible shit in order to have the bare minimum of fun while doing their reading interpretation project for class.
This is coming from someone who had fun reading goddamn Twilight by the way. I'm not a book snob. I can enjoy objectively bad media if it's fun. My favourite book series with LGBT main characters is All For The Game, and that's a shitshow! But at least there's passion in it! There's fun!
I am going insane!!!!!
#my new technique is seeing which gay books tiktok hates#I always like those#honestly I think I'll just drop romance books entirely by this point.#fanfic is usually so nice to me on the romance department anyway#why am I paying for subpar shit that a goddamn fic author on ao3 does perfectly and better#i am so tired of the current state of popular romantic gay books#feel free to rb btw this is not a deeply personal post or anything#i am so tired#how the fuck are popular gay books so low in quality#like its not even about taste and opinion it's about straight up standards#like aristle abd dante is an objectively good book even though I was meh about it#I might not have personally enjoyed it that much but I can give it high praise#but boyfriend material? the american british one? really????#i liked the gentleman's guide when I first read but... I went back to it and it's kind of meh too#but when I first read it I was the target audience so. i can give it a decent rating too I guess#even though the characters are... kinda flat#aaaaaaaaaaa#I am so done#gotta start ignoring book recs and look for books with like. 2 reviews#unblemished by tiktok#published out of blood sweat and tears
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ive been rereading tnp and it’s bothering me so much i need to mention it here; it’s kind of insane how much the erins bend over backwards to make brambleclaw deputy, it’s kind of just nonsensical.
not even him not having an apprentice when he’s picked, though that is kind of wild, he just… there’s basically no good reason other than him being a main pov character and tigerstar’s son. literally any other thunderclan warrior who’s had an apprentice (barring maybe ashfur) would have been a better choice. thornclaw dustpelt sandstorm cloudtail brackenfur- brackenfur is one that firestar explicitly considers and the reasoning why he decides not to is so incredibly weak ‘oh i dont think he’d be right for leader’ number one what are you talking about number 2 then use him being deputy as an opportunity to help him become right for leader are you telling me firestar thinks the cat he once considered letting die in a fire is a better fit for leader than the cat he half mentored. dustpelt is clearly an experienced warrior, sandstorm is someone firestar obviously has faith in, thornclaw is experienced and i’m pretty sure you even see firestar consult him a few times (cloudtail is iffy bc thats cloudtail but he’d really be a better choice, just how he treats daisy and her kits would be an interesting justification for firestar making him second-in-command) but honestly besides the narrative jumping through hoops to act like the other very viable options are either secretly bad choices or otherwise ignore them (why is bramble the only cat we ever see jump to help firestar with stuff they just wrote everyone else to be silent or w/e) but in twilight where he arguably acts the most like de-facto deputy in leaf and squirrel’s pov he’s framed as a jackass half the book??? why would you do that if you intend to make him actual leader?? in his trial run of being kinda-not-deputy you just make him use his semi-authority to be cold and fucking mean to his friend and her buddy??? like i see him being qualified due to having experience being the travel group’s leader and whatnot, but barely anything else is done to make him realistically more qualified than anyone else- he just angsts about his ambitions and gets handed the position because starclan vouched for him for some damn reason even though by his society’s laws he should not be in that position
#sorry its just really bothering me bc i am NOT seeing why he should be deputy#warrior cats#salty talks#the new prophecy#i dont hate tnp i just hate the bramble wants to be deputy plot he does not deserve that shit#not even on the level of him being a shitty guy or anything he literally should not have been picked#its probably the most egregious example of the authors just forcing a plot point instead of like. building it up realistically#literally in twilight he just comes off like he’s going to be a cold distant asshole as deputy it’s not a good look#opposed to firestar being deputy gaining his position while qualified and also through the understandable logic of bluestar’s mental state#fire just picks bramble be leafs like hey starclan says so and fires like oh ok even tho he’s literally not qualified#and also barely seems like he’d be a good choice anyways despite having been a main pov character#yes im complaining abt bad writing in the Bad Writing Cat Books leave me alone this is bothering me#adding while i read sunset; i will concede that this one does a better job building him up as possible deputy with the trust he’s given#its still just. why him (besides him being the mc) why is no one else given this trust or somewhat filling this role the same way#i feel like it would be more interesting if someone else got chosen over bramble and he had to be at peace with that#instead of oh he gets what he wants yayyy. idk switch the fox trap scene to hawkfrost trapping the new deputy#i feel like bramble not being deputy would be interesting like helps him realize that he doesnt need to be in a position of power#for his clanmates to trust him and rely on him if hes still worried abt the tigerstar’s kin thing and maybe confront tigerstar abt it
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Reading shit comics kind of sucks but at least I get the satisfaction of proving my own point w this
#like damn if i really was 100% right about this before i even knew what i was talking about#anyways one of the many many problems with new 52 wonder woman is the fact that diana isnt religious enough#also that azzarello and chiang are incapable of imagining a feminist utopia which is the original genre that wonder woman comics were based#in in the same way that batman for example is connected to the noir genre. and the mythological aspects of the og wonder woman comics were#in fact a common framing aspect of the feminist utopia genre of the progressive era (with many of the deeper greek mythology aspects being#established as the foremost ww genre later on)#anyways this failure to understand this layering of genres in the ww mythology i believe is the principle contributor of why this run which#is popular with many and has such a footprint in other more mainstream media is hated by so many longtime wonder woman fans in that it not#only neglects but actively goes against key parts of her premise#a comparison could be made to a superman run that is heavily based in science fiction and exploring deep sci fi genre plots without any#understanding by the creators of why it matters that superman is champion of the oppressed and disrespecting that core part of him by in#some ways making him actually go against that in service of the high sci fi genre plots and conflict#and then ofc to translate better in this reality this run would function like a can of worms in that while dc in comics would eventually#course correct back to the base version the public opinion would become divided and especially adaptations would need all the canon changes#from that run torn viciously out of their hands bc they refuse to LET IT GO#anyways yeah teehee i swore to someone id never read it but i needed it for fic research purposes unfortunately so i started it. only read 6#issues but meh. first one wasnt terrible tbh id read worse but after that i got much more unhappy#anyways they simply dont understand why people like the amazons or why people should like the amazons. which again is like half the freaking#point bc like. feminist utopia genre. but i digress#its bad but its bad in a way that proves me right about why its bad so at least theres that#someday when i post my rebirth ww fic ill post the analysis of nu52 ww and the comparison to the beat movement/ginsberg that ive got in my#drafts. finally get that A in comic book literary analysis#blah
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the new Anne of Green Gables anime adaptation/remake came out, and its making people share their thoughts about how they hated the netflix reboot adding things (talking about feminism, having a character be gay, talking about black people or native americans in 1890s canada), and it's kinda making me fume
#personal#oh no the woke agenda... women gay black people and native americans wahhh#like how the fuck are you watching anne of green gables and then draw the line there. anne would hate you. literally#idk it reminds me of iwtv. like after watching the show i dont think i'd read the book. same with invincible's comic about women.#but anne herself is such a good girl. how do you watch/read a wholesome story and then get offended when poc are included...#this isnt the fucking witcher where dudebros just want geralt to fuck every sexy white woman he sees.#anyway before i said the same thing abt yaiba but idk why this media needed a remake. awae was right there and did new shit#with it. even if ppl complained abt diversity being added in. and then i see this and know that probably wont happen. why was it made#besides ppl thinking old stuff looks ugly?? what is being added. sure we arent keeping outdated jokes like yaiba/ranma#but what else is going for it. besides remake/reboot/remaster shit
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Ok looked at all the vampire f/f books listed on sappfic.com or whatever and. Thats not a lot comparatively and also I had an idea! Who wants to read the one scene i already wrote for it
#please cant we... cant we just have .... my idea written by someone else and better than i could do it by one million times#i want. to go to bed i guess#sigh.#wont anybody please make vampires actual ceo assholes hello.#that dhampir academy thing came closest first book was pretty homoerotic#read that decades ago (not quite)#my stuff#blagh ignore me i am so so so tired#and i didnt do anything for most of the day i hate this#its actually a series book one is about a zombie apocalypse in europe due to a new bioweapon and a student is on her way home from uni her#train gets bombed she attempts to go home but the zombies get her she is a zombie for a while but wakes up one day#still hungry...but lucid. her senses sharpened and herself more capable of anything. she hears a little girl trapped in a basement and gets#her out. and while travelling back to her hometown keeps her safe. then almost gets killed eating dead people for sustenance gorges on blood#but yhe girl sees her. then she comes across a guy she helps they protect each other and the kid. she keeps moving and moving just hoping#her family might be ok. the guy and her fall in love. theres no news no information why hasnt anyone come to help them how far has it spread#anyway they have sex she infects him he dies. shes mad with grief her family are dead (they arrive). the u.s. army comes in and#and seemingly offer aid but they find out shes undead / immortal they put her through experiments for 20 years (patient zero tests) the girl#is called elise and grows up in the u.s. shes the first sired vampire (she was introduced to the mutated virus at a young enough age and#gradually) and manages to disappear before she follows the fate of her lost adoptive big sister. then the first immortality treatments#come out. but only the richest families can afford them and its somehow carried in the living body. strange rituals. blood becomes something#you can sell at an ok. price. you can become immortal but only through more obvious indentured servitude. TAKES DEEP BREATH#ENTER jess and haley two normal u.s. teenagers no good families in a crumbling education system whose teacher is managing to hold on to#life by his teeth by paying his students for blood because blood banks are now all in hands of oligarchal immortal families and hes been#banned#getting infected generally means death only those families have the medical resources to make it go right#DEEP BREATH.#anyway#personal#and more - jess and haley become blood workers - sell blood for money. very dangerous catering to either criminals or elites or desperates#jess does get infected haley nealy kills herself getting the money to pump her full of drugs so she might survive. jess nearly kills haley a
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Everyone knows that bisexual women are LGBTQ unconditionally right? Right?
#I don’t know why the bi hate is getting to me this year#like even ppl who call themselves bi Allies say the stupidest shit around pride#ESPECIALLY about bi women#like you really hate us huh#even if you don’t say I hate bi women specifically if you’re excluding bi women from pride for like#dating a man#or whatever#read a gay history book or whatever#go outside#it’s nothing new to hate bisexual people in particular like it’s a tale as old as lgbt history lol#but maybe do better in 2024#Mari talks
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I just realized, I never talked about it since the beginning of 2025, but I had a resolution for 2024 to read more books. To make it short, I've read 24 books in 2024. Which is like, 4 or 5 more times than I usually read in a year.
And it was thanks to tumblr that I had the idea to how I should read more.
I came across a post talking about new resolutions and how they should be realistic, or just funny (someone said they counted how many times they sneezed in 2023, that was pretty cool). And one resolution I saw was talking about watching more movies, and that they gave a note to them each time they finished one.
So I had the idea to take that resolution but for books, mixed with what my mom already do by writing a little resume of what the book is about.
I present to you my notebook for all the books I've read so far. Basically, I first write in the index the name of the book at the page number I've written about. You can see there is 26 names, even though I've said that I've read 24 books, it's just that I've gave up reading 2, the 1st one being "Hades & Persephone" (I've read about a 100 pages, if I wanted to read 50 shades of Grey, I would have picked that last one, and even through the translation, I could see how badly written it was, so many fanfictions that I've read before are way better than those first 100 pages) and the 2nd one was "Nouvelle histoire de la révolution française" (it was way to complicated for me, it was a book addressed for historians only I think, I've read about a third of it before I gave up).


And then, each page is reserved for one book. I write the name of it, the author(s), the date I started it and the one I ended it (or gave up), with a 5 stars review, a little resume of it and what I thought about it briefly. And gotta say, it's really encouraging to know that I will give my little review at the end of my reading, like it's gonna be posted somehow in a magazine or online.

I usually read in the public transportation on my way to work or to my home. I made a promise to myself to not use my phone when I take the metro, the tramway or the bus, and gotta say, I definitely changed the number of hours I spent on my phone in a year. And I try to also read before going to bed, just so that I have a more healthy routine.
My objective for 2025 is to read a bit more books, we'll see how it goes ! Of course, I didn't include the mangas and the franco-belgian comics, I personally consider it cheating (only for myself, if you do that, go for it honestly, there's nothing more healthy than to read on paper, no matter what it is (if it's correctly written though)).
#new year 2025#project 2025#new years resolution#2025 resolutions#read books#book#notebook#rambling#if you ask me what is my favorite book that i discovered in 2024#i would say that it's the entire London Charismatics saga#it's soooo good#i don't understand why there isn't more people talking about it#if you want to read 4 books already in 2025 i could not recommand enough The London Charismatics by Jacquelyn Benson#anyway#go read something on paper#it's good for you brain AND your eyes#my wish would be to be able to print in a book the fanfiction that i read#i hate reading on my phone or my computer now
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james baldwin you sick son of a bitch </3



#I LOVE THIS BOOK SO MUCH i’m not even halfway through…. oh my godddd it’s so good#I’M SAD THOUGH BC :(((( i tried annotating it a bit and i ruined it . sniffle#i hate it so much why does my brain always act like this :’3 hhhhhhhhhh it genuinely stresses me out#i’m just gonna. read it w/o annotating…. maybe i will on some lines but only the ones i wanna post here#sniffle sniffle i’m so sorry you beautiful beautiful book…..#kinda wanna buy a new copy so i can annotate properly but that feels too mean to the book i have now#…. s … sigh…….#anyway. THIS BOOK IS VERY WONDERFUL it’s gonna ruin me i just know it….. and baldwin’s writing is so unbelievably pretty#ari noises ✩
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And if I were to drop on here just to say that I Love To Travel from The Frogs by Stephen Sondheim is Frodo-and-Sam-at-the-beginning-of-their-journey coded?
#Frodo: I love to travel don't you? I love the change of pace I love the change of space I love to see a place that's absolutely new :3#Sam a little behind him: I HATE TO TRAVEL I hate to even leave the house I hate the change of air I hate the getting there I hate to pack#and all of that I hate to change my habitat I hate to not know where I'm going and to not know where I'm at-#Frodo reminding Sam for the umpteenth time that it's fOr ThE gReAtEr GoOd (it really is tho): YOU'VE GOTTA LEARN TO SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE-#the whole bit where Xanthias is like 'well the world's a mess and it's devastated by war but like who caaress your honour who even caresss'#in a much more desperate like is very Sam to me. I have only watched the movies I haven't read LOTR so please forgive me if this is#inaccurate for his characterization in the book#but I have always interpreted Sam as that textpost 'I'd go to hell for him I just wished he stopped going there'#Like at first he doesn't understand why this whole deal with the ring is such a big thing and why they HAVE to do this#why can't things sort themselves out on their own#lotr#lord of the rings#frodo#sam#samwise gamgee#frodo baggins#the frogs stephen sondheim
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