#how the fuck are popular gay books so low in quality

[garrettwrites]

I am so tired of how Quotev/Wattpad level fanfiction, written by what reads as a 15 year old getting into their first fandom, gets pushed up the book ratings in the gay romance genre (m/m). Why is Red White and Royal Blue always at the top. Why is Boyfriend Material. Why must I suffer. Where are the standards. Why is a 30/40 year old recommending me, a grown adult man, stories that feel like they were written for highschoolers who don't like to read so they pick up the trashiest, most easily digestible shit in order to have the bare minimum of fun while doing their reading interpretation project for class.

This is coming from someone who had fun reading goddamn Twilight by the way. I'm not a book snob. I can enjoy objectively bad media if it's fun. My favourite book series with LGBT main characters is All For The Game, and that's a shitshow! But at least there's passion in it! There's fun!

I am going insane!!!!!

[amnachil]

The College Society Chapter 4 Part 1

And here we go !

This is the last chapter of Liam’s 1st year at the university. It’s a long one, so be ready ;)

A new pov will replace Barbara starting now, I hope you’ll like it.

Damian-Nicholas Smith Carrey Friday March 8, in France

When people said him that he could write a book about his life, he never imagined what kind of book it would be. But now, he had quite an accurate idea. He would call it : 'How to change from the most famous hunter to a stupid and naive man in love'. He had gone through step one for a long time now : have a fucking ridiculous teenage crush. And now, he started step two : be in a relationship with your so-called crush. Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey wasn't someone easily flustered. At least on paper. But when it come to the baboon, it was a true disaster. He must have left his pride back in the US.

"What do you think ? Isn't this one better ?" asked Liam.

The junior looked at him, his brows furrowed. They were doing shopping for souvenir. Well, the baboon searched little things for his siblings and Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey tagged along.

"I dunno. There are the same to me."

One was a key chain with the eiffel tower, the other with the Arc de Triomphe. Both were low quality products anyway. But the baboon finally picked one, and they went out of the store.

"Where are we going next ?" asked the blond lad. "There is plenty of time before our departure..."

"I bought everything I wanted." replied his boyfriend. "So I thought we could hum... take some time for us ?"

He blushed when he said the last word, which made Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey blush too, and then they both blushed even more. This is an endless circle of  pathetic shyness. I mean, I eat ass every other day, so why am I so prude right now ?

"Fine." he agreed anyway. "Lead the way."

They honestly had a good time. It was fucking weird to enjoy this at much as sex. Maybe even more. They went for walk the length of the Seine. Liam ate a box of pastries along the way and they talked about this and that. This is the end of my damned life. I'm having a silly conversation with someone. It must be the first time since... I don't even fucking remember. They were on their way back when Liam sighed.

"I'm happy to have you Dami." he whispered.

All this romantic bullshit was so embarrassing. Do I like it or not ? Just get a grip dude ! Not only he was having a damn date with his boyfriend, but he also looked like the flustered one here ! No one must ever know it happened. The baboon took his hand.

"I'm serious you know ?" he continued. "I mean, I'm still very worried about a lot of stuff... Nate is my main concern, but I'm also still preoccupied by my father. And I can't deny my story with Kilian is giving me an headache. But I'm really happy to know you're here."

"First of all baboon, it doesn't suit you to be so serious." replied Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey while trying to regain composure. "Secondly, there is nothing in what you said that can't wait tomorrow. You've the right to enjoy a little time for yourself with someone you love."

Liam blushed. He kissed his boyfriend to thank him. Holy crap. I'm getting good at the cheesy stuff too. Well, it wasn't surprising : Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey was good at everything.

This evening on the plane, the junior felt a weird dread through his whole body. Suddenly, he stressed about his relationship. But there is nothing new... I mean, we already were a couple before. So what is different ? He quickly put his finger on it. I said to the baboon I loved him. I confessed my weakness. The hunters shall never know. Nobody in the university, for that matter. There are already too many fucking people aware of our relationship. I don't trust anyone about this.

"Hey dude."

Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey glared at the sophomore who hailed him. It was the dipshit called Matthew, Theo's heir.

"What the hell are you doing here ?" he asked. "Want to suck my prick ?"

The cocky lad (it was obvious this guy was an arrogant bastard) smiled.

"Maybe another time. I just wanted to say D.R sent me the contract regarding Barbara. She has to stay away from Colton and all his friends starting now. So you won't see her again much."

"Don't give me that crap, idiot. I don't care about the roach. You can fuck her, so go on. Isn't it what you wanted since the beginning ?"

Matthew's smile grew larger. I can definitely see the ressemblance with this shitty Theophile now.

"Just go away, moron." he concluded.

Liam Sunday March 10 back in the US

"This trip has done some damage..."

The young lad bite his lips. I knew I had indulged a lot but that's quite a change...

"Do you dislike it ?" asked Nate, while slumping on his bed.

"Not really..."

He had been ages since the last time Liam had looked properly at his reflection. He was pleased with his general body shape. His face was finely chiseled. He had strong biceps and triceps. His legs were robust but thick just like his chest. His pecs were nicely standing out. Even his back was kind of burly. But where three month ago he had a blossoming six pack, he had now a modest amount of squishy flab. His bulging waistline was easily noticeable since he was only in briefs. But he wasn't dissatisfied.

"I think I like myself." Liam whispered.

"And that's a good thing." mumbled his bestfriend, his eyes closed. "You have nothing to be ashamed about, trust me."

The chesnut lad outlined a smile. I'm glad to see Nate is talking more and more. He was also pretty sure Dami won't judge him for a little bulk.

"I mean..." resumed the other lad. "You're even well-endowed."

It made Liam blush like hell. (Not that he didn't take the compliment.) (Who could blame him ?).

The freshman expected things to improve since they came back from France. After all, Nate was getting better, Nick was actually making some progress at swimming and Dami literally confessed his feelings. It looked like the unicorns were finally powerful enough to repel the forces of evil. (After all, he had been feeding them with his dreams for months now !). So when a girl went to talk to him during his training this afternoon, he completely ignored her. (Not on purpose of course !). He was just so happy that he couldn't focus on anything. He went throught weight lifting and then legs exercises without noticing the many people who accosted him. He left campus without taking note of the lustful looks around him. I think I'm happy. The talk with Kilian had freed him. He was so glad to know the force of evils failed to take his ex-boyfriend. Anyhow, he finally went to work. As soon as he arrived, Judy came to him.

"Oh god Liam here you are ! I was so worried !" she shouted.

He blinked, not sure to have heard right. (Not that he often didn't heard people or anything...). What was she worried about ? Did he forget something important ? Something life-saving ? Maybe the aliens were gonna attack soon ?

"Liam focus ! I'm trying to have a conversation here !"

Judy clicked her fingers right under his eyes, breaking his thoughts.

"Are you alright ? Did someone do something to you ?"

"What ? No." he replied, surprised. "Why ?"

She frowned.

"Are you and Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey still a couple ?" she eventually asked.

Liam blushed. I think I'm supposed to keep it a secret but... He could trust Judy, right ?

"We are." he replied. "But what is your point ?"

"Be prudent when you're not with him okay ? I never thought I would say that one day, but I think you're safer with him around. Even if I still bet he'll hurt you in the end, like he did with everyone else."

Liam nodded. Their boss was calling them. I'm not sure I understand what she meant... However, he was certain Dami wouldn't said "I love you" so lightly. I'm special to him, I'm at least sure of that.

When he arrived at their flat tonight, Nick announced Nate wasn't there. Apparently, he had left for a talk with Archibald. It reminded Liam there were still things he wanted to improve in his life. My bestfriend and my poor family situation should be my priorities. He had no doubt the unicorns would agree on this. Besides, everything was linked to the forces of evil anyway. He grabbed a slice of pie in the fridge and joined his roommate. (Of course a pie made by Dami. Now that he had tasted his boyfriend's pastries, it was very hard to eat anything else to be honest.). (Once you visited heaven, you wouldn't come back, right ?).

"I can tell he's doing better." said Nick while staring at the screen of his console. "But I also can tell he went through something very disturbing. What do you think they're talking about so often ?"

"I don't know." admitted Liam. "But Dami assured me Archibald was a good guy so I trust him."

Of course, the chestnut lad wanted to help. And yes, I want to know what happened. (Curiosity is not a sin). (Glutonny is, but Liam didn't think much about it).

"Yeah well, until now we can say whatever he's doing is working." agreed Nick. "You should go to sleep... Wait, are you snacking ?"

Liam took a mouthful of his pie and chewed happily.

"This is just too good." he explained.

"You were sooooo against food at the beginning of the year." laughed his roommate. "I never imagined you were such a foodie."

Well... Seems like I changed my mind.

Nicolas Monday March 11 – Tuesday March 12

< Imagenius : yo what's up ? >

< TheSavior : long story short it sucked. I m better looking at my screen and playin'. Wht abut you pal ? >

< Imagenius : long story short my roommate is fuckin' loud while talkin' with her new friends. I hate people with actual life you know ? They remind me I'm a loser >

< TheSavior : won't say I know the feeling cuz I dont. >

< Imagenius : lol becuz right youre so popular >

< TheSavior : at least i hav friends outside a lame chat bruh >

< Imagenius : bruh >

< Abeautifulwomen : guys I do to. >

< Imagenius : as if a man who claims to be a girl could. Anyway Sav can you send us another pic of  this cute roommate of yours ? Pretty please ? >

< Abeautifulwomen : Same. But hey Ima are ya gay ? >

< Imagenius : Joker ? >

< TheSavior : need 2g. I'll turn the chat off. I don't hav any another pic >

* Abeautifulwoman is offline *

* Imagenius is offline *

* TheSavior is offline *

Nick sighed and looked at the clock. Almost midnight. Nice. I can still play. He slowly stood up and headed to the kitchen. First of all, he needed supplies. The raven-haired boy opened the fridge and grabbed a slice of pie and a beer. Two beers. He knew Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey had cooked it for Liam but whatever. His friend wouldn't mind. Nick came back to his room and turned his console on. A sligh whine came from his roommate's bedroom. Nate was having a nightmare again, he guessed. It was happening every other day. Not like if I could just ask what's wrong. If he doesn't talk to Liam, he won't talk to me. The lad drank his beer and started to play. He was good at it at least. He finished the level rather quickly, only to notice he had already ate the pie and emptied the beers. Again, he stood up and headed to the kitchen. Not that he was hungry, but he liked to play while chewing something. This time, he opted for ice cream. And beer of course. Then, he took his playing up again. One hour later, he was done with two more level. And he had devoured the ice cream. So once more, he stood up and headed to the kitchen. No wonder I'm fat. He put his snacks on the counter and patted his belly. When he had entered college he had been a twig. But the sudden freedom allowed him to indulge without his parents constant nagging. Maybe he had enjoyed it a bit too much. When he had come back at home for the christmas holidays they weren't very happy about his changes. Himself had been surprised to discover he had already hit the freshman 15. Now this limit was beyond him. I checked when we came back from France. I weight 89 kg (196 pounds) now. Almost 200. Nick shrugged. He didn't really care. He took his snack and continued to play.

The next morning, he got ready quickly. Unlike Liam, he wasn't dozy on the morning. Well, Liam was dozy all the time so bad comparison. They left together for the first lecture. When they arrived, the first thing Nick noticed was Barbara. The girl hated him for some absurd reason. She was so obnoxious. Then, he glimpsed Rebecca. Another one he couldn't understand at all.

"And to think I've been interested in her..." he mumbled.

Liam didn't hear him. That was the good thing with this dude. I could've been screaming, he wouldn't notice. They joined Colton who greeted them warmly. Nick turned on his gameboy but he wasn't paying attention to the screen. He knew the game by heart since middleschool anyway. Instead, he looked at his friends. He often did that without them noticing. Everyone assumed he was just another nerd but he was an observant nerd. Their trip in France had took a toll on Liam waistline aswell. If I'm looking closely enough, I'm sure even Colton's ever slim frame must've softened a bit. Nick was pretty sure this one would lost it in one day or two. As for his dreamy roommate... I think he will keep it on purpose. He seems to like it. Well, both of them were handsome anyway. The raven-haired boy didn't have this luck. He heard someone laugh behind him. The person whispered something about pokemon being a lame game. Another talked about his little bathing in the Seine. Not a day I want to remember. Seriously, classes were so boring...

Noon eventually came. Nick hit the buffet of the cafeteria like a ravenous beast. He needed his daily amount of junkfood to functiun properly.

"What do you think about the math assignment ?" asked Colton. "Shall we work on it tonight ?"

"I finished it already." he revealed. "But I'm sure Liam would be glad to do it with you."

Of course, his roommate wasn't listening. He was looking away while munching on home-made cookies. And new thing, he was crooning. I know some very weird people but they can't hold a candle to him. Nick discreetly kicked him under the table.

"Uh... What ?"

"Welcome back to earth." he said. "Colton wanted to ask you something."

Nick didn't listen to their conservation. He had glimpsed Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey in the crowd. Another strange dude. Since I came here, I met too many real character. He looks pissed. I mean, more than usual. He was talking to a girl. Well, probably insulting the girl to be fair.

"... Swimming tonight ?"

The raven-haired lad turned his attention towards Colton.

"No thanks." he replied when he had guessed the question. "I'm not very... at ease when there are so many people watching me."

His friend smiled.

"Of course."

* TheSavior is online *

* Abeautifulwomen is online *

* Imagenius is online *

< Imagenius : yo ! Day was booooring. How was yours ? >

< TheSavior : Same as usual. Couldn't wait to be back in my flat >

< Abeautifulwomen : Mine was fine. I don't actually leav my flat. Lucky me ! >

< Imagenius : Btw guys there is something up in my college. I heard ppl sayin a big hunt started. Don't know what that meant but they were very excited. Apparently, the prey is one of a kind ! >

< Abeautifulwomen : Funny. Do you think they hunt human ? >

< TheSavior : I'm sure they're talkin abut a treasure hunt or smthg. We shuld play. >

< Imagenius : Nah Sav it was about a real person. They want him but idk why. Maybe he did something wrong. Beauty yu didnt hear anythg from your boss friend ? >

< Abeautifulwomen : He doesnt control every college in the country duh. Last time he called he was very very very very very angry :3 I got a dick pick thanks to that ! >

< Imagenius : You really are gay. >

< Abeautifulwomen : I told yu im a girl >

< TheSavior : Come play and stop the chichat. Wdc abut a fke hunt nor ur fke dick pick >

< Imagenius : Aye sir >

< Abeautifulwomen : Aye sir >

To be continued

Tadaa. Something is going on in the community, but what could it be ?! I can only tell you Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey will have a lot of work to do. Liam is in a happy bubble, but you know me, it won’t last long.

And welcome Nick. He has been a steady presence in the background since the beginning, so he earned his own pov. He’s on a group chat with two other people... Maybe you’ll be able to guess who they are ;) 

[smallnico]

Does Sofiya like a specific kind of tea aside from just sugary? What's her family like? Why does Dom (presumably) like tropical print shirts? What are Lani's top five countries she would be banned from if she got to choose which ones? What's Chris's favourite sport if any and why? What got Candace into baking? Is she competitive at the bake sale? What are Erol's opinions on sci-fi as a genre? Would Leandro star in a musical and if so what kind? What does he think about musicals in general?

:D

sofiya’s favourite kind of tea is milk tea, but when she drinks other kinds, she adds a lot of sugar and milk. she doesn’t really have a preference aside from preferring less caffeine, as she has a low bitter tolerance and is paranoid about setting off psychotic symptoms. i, personally, know that you need a lot more caffeine than anyone should reasonably digest in order to cause said symptoms, but sofiya does not, or at the very least, she’s so worried about it she refuses to even chance it. 

how her family is depends on which family you’re asking about! her current family consists of the theatre dads -- her biological father miko and her not-yet-legal-unmarried-stepfather theo -- and her two honorary siblings -- theo’s estranged-but-reconnected daughter grace, and beau, a former student of his who he got legal custody of a few years back due to Circumstances. they’re a weird family, the members of which adopted one another into their lives at some point and just ran with it. they have a surprisingly natural and healthy family dynamic, all things considered, with the exception of grace, who is newer and less on board with the whole situation (she really only considers their house a temporary place to stay, though she warms up quickly to beau and miko). sofiya really likes grace and frequently tries to engage her and persuade her to be less mean and intimidating. it doesn’t really work. sofi’s one of a few characters in the group who wasn’t born in canada! she and her dad are russian-ukrainian, with her dad having lived and worked in russia most of his life, and having moved to ukraine after sofiya was born in order to live with her and her mother. sofiya’s dad and mom were in a tumultuous relationship from the start, and it only got worse after sofiya was born, since she was kind of an accident. she remembers her mom being cold, bitter, and deeply unhappy, when she wasn’t having spells of paranoia and intense emotional outbursts. miko and sofiya’s mom split on good terms when she was ten, then he took custody of sofiya and they moved to canada. 

dom does like horrible loud shirts, yes. there are a few reasons for this, but none of them are very compelling: he’s gay, he likes thrifting, he likes that vibrant energy, and they make him feel better about himself. he has about a half dozen equally questionable fashion choices in his wardrobe, and a handful of quieter clothes he wears when he really needs to do laundry. 

honestly, the only reason lani hasn’t made this list is because she’s allergic to planning ahead. her chaos is the sort that comes from impulse rather than conscious thought and self-awareness. i think it takes a lot to be banned from a whole country, but i also believe lani’s the kind of presence to somehow manage to do it by a colossal series of spontaneous mistakes. she has been suspended from school before, and she has been kicked off the bus on at least three separate occasions. if she had to choose a country to be banned from it’d be australia, because she’d think it’d be hilarious to be banned from a country that used to be where the british shipped criminals.

chris used to play rugby in high school. she initially got into it on a whim, but really committed to it after it became the thing to finally persuade her dad to say no to her -- see, she really wants to rebel and used to act out a lot more than she does now that she’s a bit more mature, but it’s hard to rebel against your parents when they spoil you unconditionally. her main sport is now kickboxing, for purposes of self-defense and good cardio, but she’s still a fan of rugby and women’s soccer in particular. she refuses to watch men’s soccer because she vocally thinks it’s overrated.

baking is candace’s go-to de-stressing activity. she’s a fundamentally high-strung person, so this means she got really, really good at it. for a long time baking was the Thing She Did For Herself, though it eventually got folded into the miasma of taking care of her younger siblings while her mom worked full time and late into the night. she’s kind of a duty elemental, though she hates being passively obligated to take care of people more than she hates anything in the world, except when people bring premade store-bought goods to bake sales. (”it’s lazy, it’s lying, and it’s disgusting”, she says. “some of us got up at five in the morning to make sure their homemade cinnamon bread rose and got into the oven in time to be warm for this, you animals.”) she loves her siblings, but literally the second they got old enough to take care of themselves, she left for university and resolved to never have kids of her own. she now truly bakes for herself, though she usually ends up bringing stuff in to the theatre and to parties, because baking a tray of delicious hazelnut chocolate cookies is absolutely no good if you can’t share them with the people you really want to be friends with. she does stay hyper-vigilant of everyone’s dietary needs out of habit.

erol really enjoys it, but only a certain kind of it. they see science fiction as a genre that should be fundamentally humanist, it should say something about human nature, rather than just being fantasy in space or “hey look at this cool robot”. they’ll get snitty and correct you if you say star wars is science fiction (”it’s space opera, it’s a whole and fundamentally different genre!”) but they’ll accept that star wars exists. erol’s more of a star trek kind of person for sure, but their real love of the genre is classic science fiction, your isaac asimovs and your phillip k dicks and your ursula leguins. overall their taste in literature skews toward either “shit you’ve never heard of” (which if i’m being honest, when i write erol, i just make up on the spot) or “classics that you’re allowed to be a snob about”. they haven’t read a piece of genuine young adult literature since they were 13 and read twilight. they refused to admit they enjoyed it for years, and now they’ll defend its place in the literary canon, past the point where any reasonable person would cave to the popular insistence that it’s just a book for teens that blew up and that’s Fine.

leandro fucking loves musicals and would kill to star in a big one. he’s actually a good singer and performer, too, so it’s not a far-fetched dream for him, though round river doesn’t put muscials on very often. they’re more expensive than non-musical stage shows to make good quality, and not all of the cast members can actually sing, so whenever they put on a musical, they have to bring in... the choir.(horror chord) leandro and erol are on opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to the sorts of shows they prefer, with erol preferring thinky highbrow stuff, and leandro being completely swept up in spectacle and drama and performance. he’d make a great phantom, according to himself. in the two musicals round river’s put on while he’s been around, he was billy flynn in chicago, and kenickie in grease. when i did my little heathers fancast (which is outdated, sofiya can’t sing and neither can lani), i set leandro to play jd.

thanks for asking! :>

[margridarnauds]

I actually don't know *exactly* what you ship but 1 - 5 and 9 - 13 for whatever your 1789 ship is since I haven't seen it yet and don't know much about it, I jsut like soft HCs

HARD SAME on That Soft Shit

So, Royal Officer Who is Also a Part Time Parrot/Peasant Whose Father He Tried To Arrest For Tax Evasion (and who was killed in the attempt WOOPS)

As a word of warning: Canon has been bent forward, backward, and sideways to support this one, since at least 98% of the 1789 fandom is dedicated to nothing if not figuring out new and inventive ways of twisting canon to our own diabolical ends. 

1. Who makes the first move and how?

Ronan. Always Ronan. Probably via tackling. Like, it’s 100% canon to the Takarazuka that this is how he kisses: 

There is no helping this boy. He might think that he’s being smooth and suave, but no. There is NOTHING smooth or suave about this disaster. The good news is that there’s nothing ELSE that could get Lazare to take the inevitable hint. Things Lazare de Peyrol is good at: Strategy, shooting things, giving the 18th century equivalent equivalent of powerpoint presentations on how to shoot unarmed civilians, stomping in place. 

Things Lazare de Peyrol is NOT good at: Actually thinking that the peasant boy he’s been awkwardly trying to flirt with is interested in him sans a 20 page paper with citations. 

“The fuck is this? The fuck are you?” (Also: I REALLY need to remake this gif one day but until then, enjoy it in all its low-quality splendor.)

2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

Both of them have their reasons to be insecure. I think that both of them, on some level, always think that the other will choose their side over them. On one hand, Lazare feels really, really insecure that Ronan will eventually choose the other revolutionaries, especially since they all have more in common and Ronan spends more time with them. And, on some level, I think that Lazare is fully aware of what he did to Ronan’s father, what he’s continuing to do with the Revolution, and so there’s this kind of BAFFLEMENT that Ronan loves him. And, meanwhile...there’s not a LOT that’s mentioned about Lazare’s upbringing in-canon, of all of the main cast, he tends to get very little in the way of what we KNOW about him, a lot of the speculation that I do is pure projection/speculation. I do think, however, that there’s enough evidence, at least in the French version, to indicate that Laz was pushed into the army from a young age by his family. Again, not CANON canon, but there are a few lyrics that could indicate it, and there were a LOT of aristocratic officers at this time (Off the top of my head, I can bring up Lafayette and the Marquis de Sade), who got into it when they were about 14. So, Lazare’s never really HAD the stability of a home/family life, and I think there’s this constant dread that it will be pulled out from under him. 

 Meanwhile, it has to sink into Ronan’s mind at some point that Lazare, unlike him, actually CARES about what society thinks. Lazare isn’t interested in creating a brand new, shiny world, he wants to succeed in the old one. And that means keeping things behind closed doors, marrying someone with a comparable pedigree, doing what’s expected.

As far as what makes them feel better...Ronan’s continued presence is a biggie for Lazare. Like, there’s that worry that one day, Lazare will come back to an empty room because Ronan’s changed his mind, but nope, there’s his boyfriend, sprawled out on their bed, and as soon as he gets in, Ronan’s right there, pulling him closer. And also, even though Lazare gets IRRITATED with Ronan’s “Brave New World” speech from time to time, given that Ronan seems blissfully oblivious to what is going to HAPPEN with that Brave New World (namely, the extinction of everything that Lazare’s known), there’s SOMETHING about the fact that Ronan always mentions that BOTH of them will be there. Ronan started the Revolution for the purpose of revenge against him, but he’s going to end it so that he can create a world where they’ll be together. And despite everything else, that’s oddly soothing, to the extent that sometimes (just sometimes), Lazare likes to imagine what that new world could be like. 

Meanwhile, I think that Ronan sometimes is completely taken aback when Laz DOES go that extra mile and shows affection. Like, they’ll be having dinner together and he’ll catch Laz doing a half-smile at something he’s just said, or Laz will take his hand and press a kiss to it, and it’s suddenly like “Oh. Oh. He really does. Like me, doesn’t he?” And it’s moments like those where he realizes that Lazare really IS committed to this one, he just has a different way of showing it. 

3. Who is the most romantic?

Popular belief would say Ronan, because he’s the one who’s most outwardly expressive. He’s the one who tends to initiate cuddling, he’s the one most likely to regularly say “I love you,” etc. BUT! Lazare is the one most likely to remember some minor detail that Ronan mentioned once just so he could surprise him with a present, he’s the one who tends to do more quiet, intimate gestures (hand kissing, forehead kisses, etc.) and he’s the one who tends to look at Ronan like he hung the stars when he thinks Ronan’s not looking. And it’s more dramatic coming from Lazare because he ISN’T a natural romantic, he tends to think this kind of thing through. 

I just realized there’s a very distressing lack of French 1789 gifs on my computer and that needs to be amended soon, but THIS? Is how Laz tends to look at Ronan in the Takarazuka. (Ignoring the caption since I added it. Even if it’s accurate.)

Keeping in mind that THIS tends to be his default expression: 

“Hello, my name is Lazare and I’m dead inside. I have three emotions, one of which is ‘homicide,’ another of which is called ‘Ronan Mazurier,’ and another of which is called ‘I haven’t had enough morning coffee for this.’” 

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

Ronan. He’s always trying to figure out ways to touch or cuddle with Lazare. If he could, he would totally sit on Laz’s lap all the time in lieu of a semi-decent seat. He tends to “accidentally” manage to get his hands underneath Lazare’s shirt when they’re cuddling or just...tugs him closer. It’s not like Ronan’s ever really been in a situation where privacy was the NORM, since he’s a peasant. You have to figure that all his life, he’s slept at least three to a bed.

Lazare will never admit how much he actually loves it, because he’s been so touch starved all his life that he NEEDS that. 

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?

With Ronan “most embarrassing” is a very interesting term, since he’s.....Ronan. He’s the EMBODIMENT of “disaster, chaotic gay/bi.” There’s “That time that the illegal press that he was helping run was raided by the police, causing Ronan to go through the sewers. Shortly thereafter, he *mysteriously* gets a new coat.” There’s “That Time Ronan Initiated a Dance Off In Front of Laz’s Boss, Who Happens to be the King of France.” There’s the first time they met, where Ronan more or less called Laz a bitch to his face and got into a fist fight with him. And then, there’s That One Time Ronan got called out by the Queen’s favorite governess and shipped off to the Bastille. Bonus for the Takarazuka and Toho productions, where he’s ALSO hella drunk/hungover at the time. Modern AU Ronan would get hurt after slipping on the floor while dancing to Baby Shark (dododododo). There’s just...never a dull moment. 

Meanwhile, it’s a longstanding headcanon of mine that Lazare tends to pace back and forth. This is not in and of itself embarrassing, I say as a chronic pacer. What IS is when his boyfriend catches him mid-pace, making gestures and facial expressions to go along with an imaginary conversation in order to prepare for an audience that he’s not had yet. 

10. What two songs, two books and two luxury items do they take to a desert island?

Ronan: Baby Shark (Dodododododo) (No, I’m never NOT going to be on my bullshit with this one) (Lazare regrets allowing him it, but there’s very little that Lazare can ultimately deny him), he can’t read in-canon but in a modern AU I GUESS something that’s

Lazare: Two Steps From Hell - Nero 

(Historically, if it was at all possible, it would be a duel between Richard mon Roi and Ah, Ça Ira)

Neither one of them’s a big reader, but I can see Lazare taking along, like, a copy of the military regulations. And maybe a copy of Pamela if he’s worried he might suffer from insomnia. And honestly, in a modern AU, I can see Ronan taking, like, a pulpy gay romance novel about an innocent peasant being seduced by a wicked count. He does dramatic readings of the steamiest bits. Lazare rolls his eyes and turns over in their shared hammock. 

Luxury items: Lazare NEEDS his work computer. He doesn’t even need wifi, even though it’s obviously IMPORTANT; he just needs to be able to do his work. There are times Ronan thinks Laz would MARRY his work computer if he could. Also he and Ronan can BOTH agree that water filtration is essential. They are NOT going to die of something easily preventable.  

11. What do they hide from one another?

Lazare suffers from traumatic nightmares, and it’s something that he REALLY does not like to talk about, at all, mainly because he considers them to be humiliating. (Just like he really doesn’t like to talk about what CAUSED aforementioned nightmares.) Ronan eventually is able to coax him to talk about it and can usually get him to go back to sleep. 

Ronan has been known to tone down just how bad he’s hurt, either intentionally or unintentionally (”I’M ALRIGHT. Oh fuck, I’m not alright. Fuck.”) He tends to call Lazare out on “mother-henning” him when he thinks that Ronan has so much as a scratch on him. (Which is ironic given that we KNOW that if Ronan ever found out that Lazare got hurt, he would make over him just as much if not more.)12. What first changes when it starts getting serious?

Suddenly the stakes become REAL. Like, the Revolution VS the Monarchy conflict really starts to come into play, as they both start to kind of realize that one of them might not survive this. Suddenly, Ronan’s little tendency to get himself into trouble is something that causes a HUGE amount of anxiety for Lazare, because suddenly Lazare realizes that if Ronan doesn’t come back, he won’t be nearly as fine with that as he’d been pretending. Because Lazare’s life rests on stability, and somehow, without him realizing, Ronan had become that source of stability. And suddenly, Lazare’s devotion to the Royal Family becomes even more frustrating for Ronan, as he has to think that every time there’s violence in the street, “That could be Lazare.” He started with the Revolution in order to get revenge on Lazare for he did to his father (”Hello, my name is Ronan Mazurier. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”) but then when the situation FINALLY turns around so that Lazare could actually go down, there’s this sudden “OH SHIT.”

13. When do they realise they should get together?

I mean, in the French version of Maniaque, there’s a Very, Very Interesting place where Lazare goes from using the “vous” form of you on Ronan, indicating a high degree of formality and separation that’s almost TOO polite given their social statuses and that then switches over to a “tu” form. Shortly after male dancers dance homoerotically on stage. Because it’s a French musical. So, in terms of the canon material...........I would say that’s a very good indicator. I kind of like the idea of Maniaque as a back and forth between the two of them, with both of them kind of getting under each other’s skin with their responses. It’s fairly common to read it as Lazare-As-Interrogator, Ronan-As-Plucky-Revolutionary reading, and that’s probably what the writers INTENDED, but...it’s so much more fun imagining them both coming in with this high level of tension and mutual hatred and ending it on a much more uncertain territory. 

Personally, since we’re dealing with HEADCANONS though, I actually tend to put them actually realizing that there’s SOMETHING when Ronan arrives at the printing shop and no one even ASKS about where he’s been for the last month and then he has that argument with the Revolutionary Bros. Like, as a warning, this is totally outside the realm of any canon evidence, but I tend to see Lazare as very, very stressed when Ronan escapes and in my own AUs he totally helps him escape because it’s the only reasonable explanation for where the FUCK Ronan’s been staying all this time, and Ronan is at this point where his faith in the Revolution’s at an all-time low, and he realizes that Lazare is the only one who really...CARED about whether something happened to him. 

[bitt3rsw33tsymph0ny]

What’s your deepest fear? Recently I have had a lot of anxiety about my dissertation and the possibility that I will end up graduating with low grades. That turns into the fear that I’m going to end up sitting around doing nothing meaningful with my life. Or sometimes I fear I am not changing or growing fast enough, that I should be learning from my mistakes more quickly. I often get these huge feelings of doubt and insecurity when I think about my university career, and my ability to succeed. I think it’s rooted in a fear that I will disappoint myself but mainly my parents…

Share a memory that makes you smile every time you remember it. So many. But I’m going to a share a fight memory. My coach Jock was wrapping my hands and giving me a pep talk right before my fight in Nov. He was being very sweet, he really helped me up my game in the run up to my fight, working on my technique and fitness and I’d grown to really like and respect him as a trainer and as my coach. And as he was wrapping my hands he told me that I was to be the first woman to fight for the MXP gym, and that now I was going from being a ‘muay thai practitioner’ to an actual ‘muay thai fighter’, I dunno I guess it meant a lot. He was also the one that gave me my fight name ‘the lioness’, which as a name I really loved.. I’m pretty flattered I was the first woman to fight for both MXP and the Stirling University Muay Thai club What was the last thing you google searched? I was researching the documents you need to teach English in South Korea and Japan, and popular teaching programs. Are you a dreamer or a do-er? I think I’m quite a dreamer. And I am constantly in an internal battle against this side of myself. But 2018 is the year I become more of a do-er! Share one of these dreams of yours. I have lots of dreams! Most of them involve travelling and experiencing as many exciting, new and positive things as I can. When I come back from teaching in Asia I plan to stay in Greece for while, get my boat and sailing certificates. Then I’d like to work on a yacht as part of the crew, sail around the world. Has anyone told you they wanted to fuck you recently? not in such explicit terms, no. But something along those lines was suggested. What are your views on gay people? views? what views? I will literally fight you if you say anything derogatory towards gay people. LOVE IS LOVE. Would you ever have sex with a member of the same sex? I find women really attractive and get crushes sometimes, and yes, as I have had sex with a woman before.

Have you ever just felt like giving up? Yeah. I was feeling like that a bit before Christmas, very dejected and demotivated. Thankfully I feel better now. Slowly coming out of the slump. Is there anything you are holding back from telling somebody? no, no secrets. Do you think the last person you kissed has feelings for you? It’s early days yet. But we definitely had a connection. Do you wish someone would show up at your front door right now? yes but woe is me, I need to stay inside. Do you get high a lot? It goes up and down. For the past couple months before I visited Greece, I was smoking quite a bit yes. to the point where it was just hindering my life and depressing me. Since I’ve been here I haven’t smoked at all. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? J. Is there anything you are hiding from yourself? yeh the pot issue I often just ignore and pretend like its not a problem. BUT NO MORE. I have decided to start being real with myself. Are you an emotional person? not excessively, i’m pretty neutral a lot of the time. But my emotions are pretty intense when they do come about. often I let them dictate my actions. How do you feel right now? groggy af. Would you ever get a tattoo? I have one and I am planning on getting at least a couple more. Next time I have the money I’m going to book an appointment. Are you satisfied with what you currently have in life? yes, I have no reason not to be. Are you one of those people who can’t go without their morning coffee? yes. What was the last photograph you took? I believe it was a selfie.

What was the last hot food you ate? a traditional Greek dish I made with leeks, carrots, rice and fresh herbs Have you ever seen a meteor shower? I have been fortunate enough to see a couple. I haven’t seen any for years though, I must remember to keep an eye out next summer and make sure I’m somewhere the stars are visible when they happen again in august. How often are you optimistic? depends. lately, not at all. But it is definitely part of my new years resolutions. That, along with being more mindful and doing more meditation. Would you say your thoughts are generally rational and logical or irrational and illogical? I do tend to think a bit irrationally at times, mostly because I like to opt for short term gratification over long term benefits. And I do careless things, speak without thinking, or just don’t think things through properly. But I’m working on it. I really hate being like this…I think the first step to stopping this is to stop defining myself by these traits. Are you wearing anything of any sentimental value? Describe? I’m wearing one of Jiggles oversized shirts which has a picture of a rainbow unicorn and the words ‘Totally straight’ written above it. I always used to wear it as pyjamas when I slept at his and one day he told me to keep it. It’s not particularly sentimental other than the fact my ex gave it to me.  Are you the type to pay attention to detail? I like noticing details but I’m always searching for the bigger picture, how it all fits together, assessing something as a whole. Sometimes I miss the details because I don’t pay close attention. To you, what is especially distracting? Stress, stressing and pressure of any kind I find distracting. Or social media, social media is fucking distracting and poison for the mind. Actually distraction is an effect of stressing, and social media is the means by which I distract myself, but what I find especially distracting is the fact there is constantly so much activity and so much choice in this world. Often I think if I had fewer choices and opportunities available to me I would be able to commit to one fully and focus much easier. What are some things that are important in your life right now? My degree. It’s the final push cmon Nat. My martial arts training. The benefits I have felt from Muay Thai doesn’t compare to pretty much anything else. And maintaining good relationships with my family and friends. Taking care of my own mental well-being. Making positive personal changes and all those other cliches. When was the last time you did some major cleaning? Before I left for Greece I did a big clean up of the house because it was getting disgusting. Have you ever thrown anything away, and regretted it later? Nothing that I can remember clearly. I mean I’ve certainly done it before but I think that’s just me, I often get paranoid about throwing things away and used to be really bad for hoarding things. Thankfully I have decluttered my life a bit more now so I’m better. Are you the type to regret things, or live and learn? I don’t feel much regret for my past mistakes so I like to think I have lived and learned. Obviously there are some areas where I still make the same mistakes…but it’s a process. How often do you feel like you need time to yourself? I am by myself in Scotland quite a bit, so no I don’t feel like that. Though if I’ve been with people for too long (especially a few days in a row) I definitely require some space after it Do you like being around other people? Why is this? I do get a lot of pleasure from being around other people, i’m an extrovert so I will often seek out other peoples company. In fact sometimes I rely on it as a distraction and use it as a means not to think and deal with internal issues. I need it, almost like a drug. But I recognise that constantly being with others is really not that beneficial for me. it should be quality over quantity. Problem is I believe I work best when I’m in an environment with other people. Do you feel like anyone “gets” you? Who? I feel like a lot of people ‘get’ me. My best friends. Some random people I have met and clicked with instantaneously. And a lot of my old friends from St Lawrence, because we grew up together, understand me more than my friends in Scotland. But it’s like they only get that side of me…they don’t understand the ‘me’ I have become in Scotland. Just like my Scottish friends don’t really get the ‘me’ I was in Greece. Jiggles I used to feel like he understood me so wholly. Obviously not anymore.. there is a part of me that now feels no one will ever know every single part of me, because they’d have to understand the perspective I am coming from and the one I currently experience. Which is impossible because all our experiences are unique to ourselves. What would you be most likely to do with a friend, today? going for a coffee and a swim. it was a beautiful sunny day. When are you most likely to be crabby? I don’t do early mornings very well. Also if I’m stressed or really under pressure I become an asshole. How about upbeat and cheerful? mornings, but after I’ve had my coffee. After I’ve exercised. When I’m out drinking. Who challenges you the most? In what way? Battling with control and self-discipline. STICKING TO SOMETHING. Who seems to hold you back? In what way? I think the only person holding me back is myself. And my inability to stick to plans. Sometimes I’ll allow the influence of other people to hold me back as well. When I need to trust myself more. According to the Myer-Briggs test, what personality type are you? I love that shit. taking personality quizzes. even though they are inaccurate as fuck and really only serve to confirm what people like to think about themselves. I got ENFP-t, the campaigner personality What has been preoccupying your mind today? This guy I was hanging with last night. We had a really good time. We were just talking and talking and talking for ages. He took me to this indoor skate park he’d built himself. Then we went back to his house…I assumed he’d invited me round so we could smoke weed together, then he pulls out this bag of coke …well I guess it escalated. But I had a great time. kind of wish I’d bitten the bullet and slept with him, but we’ve only just met so I wasn’t really comfortable enough. 

What was the last opportunity that you passed up, and why? decided against fighting in february even though I’d already said yes and had even been matched so I don’t have a breakdown. my diss is due a month after that and I just know myself, I wouldn’t be able to fully concentrate on winning the fight or completing my work, I sensed disaster. see, I am trying to make sensible decisions even though they pain me greatly Would you rather have a quiet day at home, or be on the go? It’s all about having a balance, right? Sometimes I need my days inside. But I feel like I enjoy my days out a lot more because I’m quite an active person.  Do you think you made a good impression on the last person you met? yes i reckon so. How do you feel about people who neglect their pets? fuck those people. If you can’t take good care of them don’t have them! Should there be an application process for having children? I feel like that would be a sure way of making it an elitist thing, or to stop those without power and money from having kids…I also just don’t think the government should have that right of control over its citizens…regardless of the fact so many babies are being brought into this world and are suffering at the the hands of neglectful families. It should still be our right to choose. I think there should be better sex education and free contraceptives for all who need them. 

Are you able to ask for help when you need it? yes, I’m not one of those people who find it hard to ask for help. In fact I would say I am someone that has a tendency to depend too much on others for help, when I run into any difficulties. How intense is your anger? Have you ever hurt anyone/yourself? pretty fucking intense sometimes, but I also get feelings of general annoyance. I have bashed my head against a wall but nothing extreme like cutting. I regretfully have hurt people physically in anger before…I know it’s shameful but I have a bit of a violent streak (I blame the sport and my father.) It’s never anything that leaves a lasting mark but when I lose my temper I snap and can act without thinking. What is something red that you like to eat? tomatoes!! fucking love tomatoes. Do you ever have trouble getting lighters to work? sometimes. If someone drinks, would that lower your opinion of that person? No I would be a hypocrite if I did. Not that I drink much usually but I don’t like to hold peoples vices against them. Unless they have responsibilities to family or are continuously hurting others with their actions. What if they did drugs? This is sad to admit but it would probably do the opposite. I enjoy drugs myself and yeah, sometimes have a tendency to glorify them. Do you know anyone who is abusive? Are you abusive? I do, yes. not physically but emotionally. I know several people. I would like to think that I myself am not abusive, but we all have tendencies to do abusive things without realising it. Actually one of the things that lead to my last break up was my ex bf insisted I had been acting abusive towards him when we went on this trip together to Vietnam. It quite shocked me…made me reassess some things. Mostly that if he felt I was being abusive I probably was crossing the line…and because I couldn’t bring myself to treat him any better, the break up felt like the right thing to do. I think. Have you ever contemplated cheating on anyone? yes, there have been temptations. And I would be lying if I said I have not cheated… If your best friend wanted to cheat on his/her partner, you would say? I mean it’s up to them. Assuming they really loved their partner and was generally happy in the relationship, or if they were drunk and about to make a stupid decision, I would try to stop it. But since neither of my bffs are like that I would probably trust them to make their own decisions. I am not here to judge them although I would probably gently try to warn them about the consequences. Who do you know that gives very sound advice? Isabella gives me pretty sound advice. She’s honestly my rock. And my mum, who has been there for me with all her years of wisdom throughout all my troubles, break ups and other things besides. Between them I can keep myself in check.   What do you think makes a person weak? someone who never confronts their fears…is a coward…someone who preys on the weak, whose egos is fragile, who can’t deal with any criticism. Someone who doesn’t have morals, who doesn’t care about anything, and revels in their indifference. What makes a person strong? I guess it’s the quality of being able to pick yourself up, again and again, despite life’s knocks. It’s about tenacity. It’s about standing strong to your principles and being true to yourself and to others. It’s about honesty…and having the courage to do the right thing even though it’s the hard thing. Name one thing that you think defines you as a person? I would like to think it’s the fact that I’m soft but also pretty tough. The reality is probably different …I don’t know..I think that I stand out from the crowd a bit…because I’m not scared of being unique and acting like myself. And i’m willful as all hell. Okay that was three things but I really can’t say! Who do you go to when you need comfort? Tamsin. I find that she will always empathise and knows what to say when I’m feeling shitty. We’ve known each other for so long and our friendship means so much to me. I also like to go to my sister, who always helps me see the humour in things and usually gives me a fresh perspective on the situation. But I might go to different people for different things, depending on why I needed comforting.

Is there anyone/thing with whom/which you like to cuddle? I used to love cuddling Jiggles, that guy was the most cuddly guy I knew. He was always so enthusiastic about hugs. And he liked to ruffle me and pick me up and shake me in a big hug like a rag doll. Now all the cuddling action I get is from my stuffed animal, Kitty. Do nightmares still bother you? I have never really been troubled by nightmares. Apart from the one off or in a period of high anxiety, but usually I sleep soundly. At what age did you start to feel like a teen, and not a kid anymore? I think 15 was the threshold for me.

Are you or were you in a hurry to grow up? I wasn’t in a hurry before, and I am certainly in no hurry now. If anything it’s even worse now because I am supposed to be a fully fledged adult, and I look like one, but am certainly, 100%, not one. What is a fear you have about living on your own? I get lonely. I don’t know if I’d be able to handle living completely by myself. I waste a lot of time when I think no one is watching. Who was the last person to completely fascinate you? Thomas Shelby from the peaky blinders. I know he is a fictional character but I am full on obsessed.

[bestlivesexwebcams]

Go Nude Cams – Get Naked With The Girls!

If you have an aversion to horny females who have sex for money, you might not want to go anywhere near Go Nude Cams. We learned this the hard way, having unknowingly stepped into its midst one afternoon without first having the proper gear lined up. By proper gear we mean lube, towels, our wallet, a few bottles of water, some baby wipes, and a passport to Hell. Yeah, shit gets nasty in there.

When you’re only a halfway decent chick with pepperoni nipples and a hairy lip, it’s tough to find work. Well, not anymore. Thanks to Go Nude Cams, even trap house bitches can make a living by selling their pussies. What a time to be alive. And because it’s our duty to check these sex cam websites out without losing our gall, we had to maintain a level head even when shit got sticky. While Go Nude Cams doesn’t have dozens of categories, the hottest girls, or even the best-looking web page, it has a lot of redeeming factors that one would only know about if they checked it out for themselves. You know what they say: Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.

That must be the motto of some of the models on this site, since only about a third of them are real-life fuckable. This place is more like a fantasy land for grown ass men who are too ashamed to say they like fucking grateful ugly girls. It’s okay; go to your happy place. We plan to break down this website like it’s the walls of a tight little pussy – no mercy. There’s got to be a good reason Go Nude Cams, with its tiny thumbnail photos of fully clothes girls, has more than 100,000 users and thousands of women doing dirty deeds for dirt cheap.

Who, What, When, Why, How?

This live sex cam site is not like anything we have seen in a long time, and by that we mean it looks like it came straight from 1998. Is there anyone on the Go Nude Cams team who gives a shit about updating the interface? It takes quite a bit to get used to the outdated layout, but once you do you can see how the site is a lot like other sex cam destinations on the net. Although navigating the site isn’t the most user-friendly thing we’ve ever encountered, there’s still a lot of fun to be had therein.

Go Nude Cams is all about raunchy fuck parties with random strangers, as is evidenced by its limited yet specific category list. We’ll get into that shit later but for now, let’s just say this is the place to go if you’re slumming with your mind in the gutter. Nobody on this site seems to give a damn about the rules which are clearly posted on the site for everyone to see. The girls and guys featured here are DTF as a motherfucker, and that’s the kind of hustle we can get behind.

While this site isn’t famous for its selection of top notch bitches, nor is it popular for its high-tech interface, it has earned a name in the industry anyway. It must be because of the pure satisfaction that can be derived by bending the rules of engagement a little bit. Yes, you will get kicked offline if you take things too far, but for the most part, this is one of the most relaxed sex cam sites we have ever encountered. That’s got to count for something.

How Does This Work?

At first glance, we assumed Go Nude Cams would be a bitch to navigate, but surprisingly it wasn’t. Once you get to the main page it’s just a matter of selecting a category or clicking on an image. You won’t get very far unless you register first, so luckily that’s free. In fact, it’s about the only free part of this entire Podunk website. For a porn hub with such a shitty presentation, these cocksuckers sure aren’t afraid to charge big bucks for quick fucks.

After you register, you will become privy to unlimited free chats with the girls who are online. Most of them live there, so no worries about missing someone you like. Remember, these skanks have to be desperate to do some of the things they’re willing to do. Use that shit to your advantage while at Go Nude Cams, because you probably won’t get away with that shit anywhere else.

You also get high-resolution images and videos with your membership, as well as a cool “Video Zoom” option for when you want that extreme closeup money shot. We may or may not have spent more time rating the girls than fucking them, but they shouldn’t include that with the membership if they don’t want us being opinionated like that. Either way, the ability to save our favorite bitches was a huge bonus, so overall, we’d say the site is decent enough for its intended purposes, albeit ugly as fuck.

Who’s on the Site?

We’ve done our fair share of mentioning how somewhat unhot the virtual hookers are on Go Nude Cams, but we haven’t said anything about how attractive they can be. As all hornballs know, a good lay can sometimes come from the most unexpected place. Such is the business model of this site, apparently. That’s not to say that there aren’t some prime pussies on here. We’re just giving you a fair warning about the type of debauchery you’re about to enter into.

You won’t get lost in a sea of options on Go Nude Cams, that’s for sure. While it may be one of the top 10 live sex cam websites out there, the admins have taken it upon themselves to streamline the categories to include the most popular ones (and nothing more). You can do a search all you want, but you will only get what they have. Thankfully, that’s some good shit, like:

Girls 18+

Ladies

Mature Female

Couples

Female/Lesbian Couples

Fetish Female

Threesomes

Group 4

Trannies

Tranny Couples

Boys 18+

Male/Gay Couples

As you can see, there isn’t a lot to choose from on this site. We seem to be missing some shit like MILFS, hairy-pussy-having bitches, Asian/Latina/ebony skanks, and hoes with tattoos. When using Go Nude Cams, it’s like playing Russian Roulette. In the words of Forest Gump, “It’s like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

What we mean by that is this: you can hop online, sign in, and click a category. But you might end up with a pair of lesbian performers who both have massive bushes. If you’re not into that kind of thing, the whole experience could be a waste of your time and money. We suggest using the chat room that’s provided so you can learn a little more about the hooker you’re trying to bag. Membership may not be very experience, but a penny saved is a penny earned and it always will be. Buyer beware.

What’s in It for Me?

Yes, there is a way to use Go Nude Cams without paying for anything, but we find that most people who enjoy these live sex cam websites want the complete package and we can’t blame them. Free is free, so there’s nothing more to say. When discussing what members get for their money, that’s when people start paying attention; so listen up.

You have to pay for a premium membership after registered on this website. No worries; it’s completely secure and encrypted, although a confirmation email will be sent to your inbox to verify your identity. The premium membership comes with all the bells and whistles we mentioned above, including private chat sessions as reduced prices. These bitches, nor their virtual pimps are messing around. Playing with their money is like playing with their emotions.

Perhaps it’s because Go Nude Cams is replete with hundreds of money-savvy European girls who have important, international-type shit to do (whatever that is). Or maybe it’s because making money by orgasm is a dream come true for anyone who will admit it. Yes, the models seem desperate to make you happy and cop some cash for it at the same time, but you’ve got to hand it to them for their sheer tenacity. Serving over 100,000 customers has to be extremely exhausting.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

With hundreds of horny babes online at any given moment, it can be hard not to come across a skank or two who just isn’t up to par. At least, that’s been the case with every other live sex cam site we’ve reviewed. It’s a good thing we’re not trying to make any friends here, because we’ve probably already pissed 1000 people off. Oh well.

If we’re keeping it real (and we are): The reason for this review is to give you some honest insight into these things before you fork over your hard-earned money on a worthless cunt who can’t get you off. So, let’s waste no more time on this shit and get right to the point, shall we?

PROS

Sort It All Out – The site’s best models can be easily found by simply clicking on the “Sort” tab at the top of the window. Users can sift bitches based on rating, experience, and quality.

Is This Even Legal? – Some of the shit the girls and guys do or say in the live chat and video sessions is downright raunchy. That’s what the fuck we’re talking about!

Going A-Broad – We have a theory that European women are nastier in bed than any other breed, which is why we’re so fucking excited that so many of them decided to join this site.

Keep It Safe, Stupid – You can get pretty wild in the chat rooms because the whole site is on major lockdown despite it looking like something slapped together by a loser in his grandma’s basement.

Frugal Fucking – While a lot of the site is free to use, the good stuff requires the premium membership and the use of credits. It’s a good thing that shit is affordable.

Loud and Clear – We were impressed by the video and audio quality on most of the Go Nude Cams website, probably because we weren’t expecting much since we judged a book by its cover like a bunch of assholes.

CONS

Tiny Tim – The thumbnail pictures of the featured models are laughable, and only become slightly larger when you scroll over them. So much for cheap thrills, eh?

Back to the Future – The terrible interface of the Go Nude Cams website threw us off quite a bit. You mean there are 100,000 people who are okay with this shit?

Caught on Tape – Most of the videos were amazing, but when they weren’t, they REALLY weren’t. It looked more like a taping of the Sasquatch at one point. Who’s in charge around here?

Roll the Credits – There aren’t any notifications for when your credit balance gets low (probably for privacy sakes), so you have to keep a close eye on it lest you be left with blue balls because you can’t pay to play.

Deaf Leopard – Because the video and audio quality are primarily left up to the models, some of the sounds are quite muffled, fully of static, or just plain not there. Hello?! Anybody?!

When Judgment Day Comes

We won’t lie and say that we didn’t cum our asses off from the shit we witnessed at Go Nude Cams. It was a very good time, despite our initial impressions. Having seen so much in the industry, outdated websites like this surprise the hall off our balls. As for content and quality, these bastards know what the fuck they’re doing.

On our coveted scale of 1 to 10, Go Nude Cams gets a solid 8.5. That’s because it has more than enough shit to look at without all the fluff that the other guys use to distract your attention from the important stuff. Whether attractive or not (talking about the girls AND the site), we can appreciate anything that’s dead-set on making us jizz.

from Best Live Sex Web Cams http://www.bestlivesexwebcams.com/sex-chat-sites/go-nude-cams/