#this is why i dont wanna write a fic abt it LOL

[waywardsalt]

Hi! I hope you’re doing good in life! So it’s spooky season so I have an ask related to that. I don’t know if you play horror video games, watch horror movies/shows, or read horror books, but if you do, I have to ask: What is the most disturbing book, or video game or show/movie that you’ve played/watched/read? In my opinion, there is two types of horror: the ones that scare you, and the ones that traumatize you. If you can think of any book, movie, or game that really kind of fucked you up, I’m curious to know if you feel like answering. I hope you have a good day and a good life.

Hey, I’m doing good and I hope you are too!

the answer ended up being really long lol

Woof, this is honestly a pretty hard question, since I can't really name any horror (or otherwise) media that actually left me kind of fucked up for a bit, at least not to the degree where it affected me for a while. I probably haven't been really fucked up by anything since I was a kid, so I'll try and recall what a few things fucked me up back then...

Off the top of my head I know that two different spongebob episodes got me bad, the first being one with that tunnel of love thing (tho tbh i havent seen it in a while so it might still spook me today) and the one where i'm pretty sure for whatever reason squidward gets locked in some small locker and has some kind of fucked up dream, whatever that was. I remember there was an eagle in that one. the eagle terrified me. (i looked them up, and the first episode is titled 'tunnel of glove' and the second is 'squidward in clarinetland'. with how badly that second one got to me, i'm surprised i ended up learning to play the clarinet at all)

other than that, i think the courage the cowardly dog episode 'the house of discontent' got me pretty bad, too, but i think everyone who saw any amount of that series as a kid has at least one episode that got them fucked up.

there's probably a handful of scooby-doo stuff that got to me when i was a kid, but i could not name any specifics (asides from charlie the robot's original episode, christ) because i think i managed to see just about every bit of available scooby media around that time.

nowadays stuff still does kinda fuck me up, but it's usually only for brief bits of time. the most recent example I can think of is cowboy bebop's 20's episode, pierrot le fou, which is honestly some great horror, especially how it uses the show's typical format and flips it on it's head, but i wouldn't necessarily say it got to me because of it being scary, more because of the way the ending disturbed me for a bit. it was the only episode that had me stop afterwards and really look into it for anything other than clarifying a character's gender, lol.

the endings of both neon genesis evangelion and end of evangelion had me shaken, the latter more so than the former, but not really due to horror aspects, though. i did have to take a walk after finishing end of evangelion. i don't really watch horror movies, i just... read the wikipedia plot descriptions of them.

honestly, i think some of the more popular youtube analogue horror series have gotten to me worse (likely due to the fact that they can get a bit more fucked up than, say, a tv show or movie), specifically the walten files (which i did watch) and the mandela catalogue (which i just watched wendigoon's vids on), and those two and mostly because facial distortion is generally just an incredibly effective form of horror imo. a lot of the time (esp with the childhood examples) the way i was 'fucked up' was that id be in be visualizing the stuff that scared me, and both the mandela catalogue and the walten files had me doing that for a bit.

now that i remember it, i was really scared of fnaf when it first came out. i first learned of it second-hand from seeing some other kids looking into it, and the bits and pieces i put together about it really scared me.

honestly, it's usually straight-up disturbing sequences or imagery that gets to me the most, and i know my limits well enough to generally identify and avoid that stuff, which is probably why i don't have too many recent examples. i've got one or two examples of non-horror movies that fucked me up as a kid, but that's mostly because they were wildly inappropriate for someone of my age (at the time) to be witnessing, so that's a different sort of topic.

i mean, i think i generally have a decent tolerance for fucked up stuff in media, anyways, i mean, i enjoy berserk and haven't really been too upset or disturbed by what happens in it (look theres some nasty shit in there im not saying its not that bad) so there's definitionally some kind of line that media needs to cross to really get to me nowadays, or it just needs to be a specific kind of fucked up. books generally don't do that for me so i don't have any book examples. no games, either, though shadow mario and the haunted house segments in super mario 3d world scared me so much that i had to make my mom do the levels for me, and i'm pretty sure scooby doo: first frights scared me a bit when i first played it on ds.

other than that, though, I just think that, in pokemon x, the story that an npc tells you during your first trip to route 14 and then the strange office building encounter with the animation-less hex maniac creeped me out pretty bad.

yeah, it's kind of hard for me to think of anything (recent) that actually really fucked me up or anything. most stuff just scared me, never really fucked me up or figuratively traumatized me in recent years.

[coridallasmultipass]

.

[mosviqu]

cried bc my mum asked if i was upset bc i dont like my drawings bc she heard me ripping out sketchbook pages and throwing them to the bin

[choccy-milky]

Status update on the dark relic nsfw comic please ma'am 🙏 my family is dying

ITS DONE!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉...well, the DRAWING part is as of yesterday BAHAHA. now im just adding all the dialogue/speech bubbles/sfx, SO ITS DEFINITELY GONNA BE SOON!! DEFS BY THIS WEEKEND!! ive just been very nitpicky on the font which i cant decide on LMAO and im also nitpicky abt other final touches LOL. i didnt wanna show anymore cuz ive already shown so much but HERES THE FINAL SNEAK PEEK

and speaking of fonts, i normally use handwriting by jeremy paz!

oh man its so random, but i either use the name lumi or clora for everything whenever i play rpgs (baldurs gate 3, dragon age, you name it) and clora originated from rune factory 4 LOL. theres a character named 'clorica' and i really liked that name, it sounds so elegant and fantasy ish, so i eventually just shortened it to clora bahaha. now its my go-to. i like how simple it is but it also sounds unique and works in modern AND fantasy settings, imo

my first and ONLY playthrough was as clora! i originally did try to make myself at the start, but i have short brown hair and straight across bangs, and they didnt have a style that felt 'me', so i went with just making a ravenclaw that i liked, and then gave her my go-to name of clora HAHA. and yea, i built up her and sebs relationship in my head as i was playing, especially with all the running around the castle i did. i just liked to imagine her constantly out of breath and flushed and seb just watching like ....🧍girl chill...

AND SPEAKING OF MY DARK RELIC COMIC/SMUT, my biggest advice for writing smut id say is to have a reasoning behind it, i guess? i focus a lot on their headspace/WHY they're fucking at that moment when i write it LOL instead of just the movements/sex for the sake of sex. in your case, the sexual tension leading up to the first time gives you SO much to work with, since you can just be in his head with how much hes looking forward to it, how much hes savouring it, how he's also nervous but enjoying it and trusting the other person, etc. the thoughts are hotter than the actual deed a lot of the times (which is why when clora and seb did it for the first time it ended up being like, 15k words of just foreplay and build up from sebs perspective LMAOO) so yeah id just try to focus on their emotions and desires if you can! and a lot of the times with consent stuff it CAN feel forced, and you dont even really need your characters to talk about that stuff verbally, at least not too much. you can do it in body language, or just something as simple as 'ill stop if you want'. it doesnt have to be a long therapist-like conversation about consent, which CAN tend to sound a little awkward and unrealistic (esp in the heat of the moment), if thats the problem you're having. HOPE I COULD HELP

also i love this for you and for me. YES GO ON AND MAKE A BUNCH OF CLORA CLONES, I COMMAND IT👉👉👉

and last but not least the most important question. honestly i like plain sweets a lot with no icing/filling. im a slut for shortbread cookies and also just plain glazed donuts. and also custard/portugese/egg tarts, which i also forced clora to like in my fic HAHA. IF YOU HAVENT HAD THEM YOU HAVE TO, THEYRE SO GOOD😩😩💖💖

[angelmichelangelo]

ive had 2012 brainrot recently and i think abt raph and mikey’s dynamic so much i’m gonna yell abt them in ur ask box. i feel like a lot of fans dont understand that they are the Siblings of all time; its incredibly accurate to be like “fuck you fuck you fuck you die” and then also threaten to disembowel anyone who messes with ur sibling. i also specifically love the one scene where raph tells mikey not to apologize to bradford and mikey goes UH…SORRY I DIDNT DROP YOU HARDER!! and raph is so proud of him hes like :) good job buddy. anyways sunset duo for life i love them

oh you GET me dude. you get me

their bond, in this iteration is so important to me. i think that in 2k12 all the brothers have a good, solid relationship with one another - dynamic that even when they’re not getting along, it proves that they do very much love each other but the mikey and raph dynamic is something that i very much cherish.

mikey knows how to push all of raph’s buttons SO easily. he’s always there to rile him up and it’s all so very much on purpose. mikey is such a Little Brother and raph knows this, and even when he does allow himself to be annoyed at his antics or his teasing, it’s always in good nature.

and raph has so much love for his little brother!!whenever mikey is hurt, down, injured or whatever in the fight, it’s almost ALWAYS raph calling his name or rushing towards him. i think about that a lot. it makes me.. unwell lol :((

i imagine that when they were young, they were THOSE kids that if they went quiet, splinter’s day was about to be ruined lmao they were probably such a pair of rascals and that just cements that they are each others best friends. (now i wanna write turtle tot fic about these two just terrorising their poor father and more quieter siblings lol)

i think i already mentioned this before (and wrote a fic on it lol) but mikey for sure has a temper to match raph’s. they’re so very alike: very emotional driven, feels everything tenfold. we already saw in the space ep that mikey’s anger is a HUGE part of his personality but it’s something he’s perhaps able to keep under wraps than raph is. and that seems to me, why he’s so close with raph, always teasing him, making him cut loose because he knows he needs to let off steam because mikey knows how it feels !! to have all of it bottled up all the time !!! they’re so alike it’s :((( wahh !!!!!

anytime someone wants to argue the whole “raph was abusive” or “mikey never respected his brothers” spiel i literally lose years off my life. siblings will always fight and say things to one another than they shouldn’t. siblings will know how to make you mad and angry and siblings will always be that way, because you know that at the end of the day, that’s your best friend and of course you’re gonna make up at the end of it.

and that’s what mikey and raph have. they have each other and they know that they always will have each other and that’s just. very neat :)

[sharpbutsoft]

i get ur post abt being turned off by that and i agree but i think ppl do it cause they see just the act of posting a fic as like, being confident that what ur writing is great, so then they try to play it off like that to come across as more humble/shield themselves against criticism. tho i agree it kinda makes me pause and be like well dont tell me im not gonna like it before i even read it!!! also as a sidenote i really dislike when the summary is “Lol imbad at writing summaries but i swear the fic is better than the summary haha” like dont. talk to ME in ur summary i wanna see a description or put a preview of the fic! gimme 2-3 lines from the fic that show me the tone/plot and im fine u dont have to write an elaborate summary to make me click! anyway sorry i just wanted to join in on the convo u dont have to respond if u dont want this discussion on ur blog lol just know that i see u and i agree haha

Anon yeah like that’s p much it

& i dont wanna knock other fic writers because it’s hard and it’s a very vulnerable thing to do - to write something and share it with the world is nothing to scoff at, truly

It just makes me sad because for someone to pour their heart & soul & energy into their writing, and then devalue that with a snarky “oh idek what this is it’s probably full of plot holes cause i couldn’t be assed to proofread it” is like… okay well why should I value the time you spent writing this if you don’t?

And they’re protecting their feelings, but when their fic gets little interaction/feedback they’ll learn the wrong lesson & think its not worth being sincere & putting yourself & your writin out there when the opposite is true!

Sorry this kinda got away from me but yeah

[ofmdee]

😵

been having some thinky thoughts today, and for a while, rly, abt my Feelings abt breathing underwater and i tried to type something up on twitter but that jsut was not letting me think my thoughts correctly

i love BU........... so goddamn much. it started out as nothing more than a silly idea abt little mermaid ed meeting stede and kind of ballooned into what ive built it up into today. it's so important to me... but it's making me a little miserable right now?

miserable because i dont want to work on it, but i WANT TO want to work on it, i want to tell this story and read the finished product, ive got so many ideas, but i just. cannot get myself to do the actual WORK of making sentences and then staging all the pics........... what used to be a fun little pastime now feels like a chore, an obligation, a compulsion almost. it sucks, but it sucks more NOT doing it, you know what i mean? idk.

i know ive built it up into this big THING to myself, like... idk, i do this so often, i have big ideas and love to plan and organize them and then i get going with such intensity until i abruptly fizzle out. i start things and dont finish them, and i guess i just rly dont want this to be another thing that gets thrown on my unfinished projects pile :/

i have the next 2 parts drafted, but every time i go back to poke at them and edit them i just get so disheartened because it's obvious that my heart wasn't really in writing them, and it's difficult to salvage a rough draft like that. part of me wants to just delete those parts entirely and say fuck it im taking an indefinite hiatus, and i will start fresh when this is fun again! which would probably be the best thing, actually, but... i am reluctant to do that, because i just dont have anything else to rly fill my time rn.

i havent been getting a lot of joy out of... anything, rly, for a long time now, im so bored and apathetic and even my normal go to things arent cutting it anymore. and idk if it's a depression thing or if im truly outgrowing some interests, but either way i know i need to get more Things in my life somehow, because writing and sims are my two biggest pastimes, and then i combined them, and then i got sick of both so ive got so little to go on! so i keep poking at the things that i used to love, hoping to find that spark again 😪 i love these little guys and their little world!!! and it makes me sad that im not actually having Fun with the PROCESS.

it doesn't help that i am constantly torn between man i wish more ppl read my fic!!! i work so hard on it!! and man i never want anyone to perceive me or my writing ever it's so amateur!! idk what i want and idk what i want to DO about it!!

so, idk!! idk where this is all going, lol, i just... wanted to try and organize these thoughts somehow.

trying to reason w myself that at the end of the day, i am writing a fanfiction. that's it. it's not that big of a deal, and yet it feels huge to me, somehow. I don't wanna let down the ppl who are reading it, and i dont wanna let myself down again, either.

BUT it's not supposed to make me feel miserable it is supposed to be fun i am lowkey crying rn because like urghghghgh why isnt it fun?!!?!

so. i think i gotta do some more thinking, because not making any kind of decision is making things worse! and idk, if all of this hasnt put u off of the idea of my fic, here is the series page lmfao i could use some encouragement i guess......

but i am going to seriously put more thought into an official hiatus, because i think i am getting Too preoccupied with it again and it's messing with me!!!

i actually had a decent time doing those kitty ed pics today, even tho they didn't do so hot, so maybe i am just gonna try to focus on that kind of thing, doing stuff that actually catches my attention, and also doing things without the intention of sharing them at all. allowing things to be messy. i get so caught up in the thought of someone else seeing my work that i paralyze myself trying to make it PERFECT.

i had a decent time doing that oneshot from ed's pov as well. so maybe i need to work on projects that are a bit smaller scale. i dont have to say goodbye to BU stuff forever, but i am just so ALL OR NOTHING that it feels like a way bigger decision than it actually is 😓

so i guess....... im gonna sleep on it for a while. think about it and try and come to a firm decision. because if i take a break, i need to REALLY take a break, which includes not thinking about it all the time and constantly beating myself up for not doing it 😅

idk, thank you if you read this far, here are a few kitty pics of ed for ur time:

[storiesoflilies]

HIIIII LILY!!!!!!!! ok ok for your game :))

✿ did anything major change when you started writing [fic] to when you finished? - for ‘as we fall, time is broken’ !!!!!!!!

(can you tell i literally have not stopped thinking abt that fic HAHAHAHAHA im so curious how you came up with the idea vs how you started vs the final product !!!!!!)

ok also im cheating and asking 2 >:) but WHAT WAS YOUR FAV LINE FROM IT???? i have a few [many] but i wanna hear yours :’)

HOPE YOURE HAVING A GREAT DAY LOVE YOU MWAH

AHHHHH QUINN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH N I’M SOSOSOSOSOSO HAPPY THAT YOU STILL LOVE THE FIC <3333

now to answer the ask!!!

no, nothing major changed during the writing process. i was absolutely in love with the idea of the whole story, and i knew i did not want to deviate from the final outcome.

more under the cut to keep the post short lol :3

ask game.

as for how i came up with it, i dont even knowwww hahaha. i don’t know why, but the song ‘wake up call’ by nothing but thieves really inspired me shape up the ideaeven though the lyrics n most of the song (except the chorus) dont really fit the vibe. but you know what, it worked haha, and you asked how i thought of the story so there you go. and honestly i have always wanted to write a vampire story that explored how unfeeling they are as creatures. how some of them feel too much or too little. i wanted readers to really question just how much of the love was even real in the first place, or if it ever was love.

now the only thing i suppose i changed was i didn’t write a smut scene. and the only reason why i didn’t was i simply wasn’t in the mood to write one!! i think allusions to smut are sexier anyways :3

AND NOW FOR MY FAVORITE LINES!!!

• he offered her his hand like salvation, his palm facing the heavens.

(the first woman from long ago screamed.

you will not survive this - him.)

- i’m aware this isn’t one line but oh wellll i adored this part!!

• the darting squid would watch her with their bulbous, intelligent eyes. they used to speak to her once, wrap their tentacles around her throat and tell her stories of creatures from the depths even she had dared not go to.

- i think there’s something so mystical and inspiring about how the squid once spoke to her, and idk the part about their tentacles wrapping around her throat really shook me to my core (and i wrote the damn thing lol).

• she was sparing him from the fire and silver, so eager to take his place and save him from haunting the seas.

i mean, enough said really haha. i felt very big brained writing this one :3

now what are YOUR favorite lines my darling?!?!? i musssssst know!!!

much love,

Lily xo

[mrkis]

okkk please let me know :) i will go off from the synopsis you have and i’ll stalk the tags lol

i just wanna ask if the vibes i’m getting from the asks that you’ve answered already are right. lmao i’m bad at explaining myself so most of these are just songs 😭😭

marks series - innocent but with a dark side. i struggle with his one 😭😭 overprotective and “i’m yours” kinda vibe. “i wanna be yours”

ynfalm - obsessive but cuteeee and in loveee and boys falls first girl falls harder maybe. nct without you but like the particular line “can’t live without you”

why you - my love mine all mine vibes, here with me, this is what falling in love feels like (and a freaky sex song) try again jaehyun, nct without you but like the particular line “can’t live without you”

the other idk 😭😭i will figure it out though and i’ll send you the final result

ok waitttt im gonna see if i can like. work my way around explaining the vibes of each fic without giving too details away abt what im wanting to happen/wanting to write down......watch me struggle lol

[ynfalm // haechan series] pretty accurate with this one lowkey !! hyuck falls for people easily and falls hard. becomes obsessive in a way. you're all he thinks abt and because hes around so much, he gets inside your head too.

[why you? // jeno series] jeno has always had a type he goes for. someone who is confident, outgoing, likes parties & sex. but he comes across you who is more reserved(you keep to yourself), you focus on your studies, perhaps a homebody, relaxed. you're basically someone who he wouldn't usually go for but you've caught his interest somehow.

[boyfren // jungwoo series] (so. this one is going to be messy. so when this comes out, everyone please check the warnings and if this doesn't seem like the fic you would like, don't read. simple.) but this is basically abt falling for your sisters boyfriend. falling for someone you can't and shouldn't have. like i said. messy. (so if you dont want to create a playlist for this, that is totally fine !!)

[something about you // mark series] (AAHHHHCANTWAIT) you're not a fan of relationships. you like to have fun and hookup with whoever is willing to do so with no feelings involved or no strings attached. but you can't get mark, the cute guitar boy from the music department, out of your head. you want him.

[f**k you // doyoung series] enemies to lovers. academic rivals type of stuff. he's very mean and selfish, always wants to get under your skin and vice versa. you hate each other. but the sex is good lol.

[moonstruck // jaehyun series] the definition to moonstuck is: unable to think or act normally, especially as a result of being in love. you're falling for the professor lol. falling for someone older basically (legal age gap, like 3-4 years apart)

[bluhjeans]

songs i associate with dbh characters / what i think their fav songs would be

pleasee share ur own thoughts & opinions id love to hear them!! and I need to ramble abt my dbh opinions to people (+templates if u wanna make ur own)

explaining my reasoning here if anyones curious

gavin: couldn't decide between rehab and in my feelings because theyre both just so him (and by that i mean fanon him cuz there really wasnt much to work on) 'in my feelings' because I can just imagine him to all' of the lyrics ('Sobbin' in my cup of coffee 'cause I fell for another loser' and 'Who's doper than this bitch, who's free-er than me' in particular) and rehab is a little looser of a connection, it stems from this story that ive been sorta writing that focuses on gavins relationship with alcohol aswell as his friendship with tina, and I just feel like rehab really captures his reluctance to give up the many different problems he has in the story like drinking, smoking & drugs rk900/nines: i dont really imagine he listens to music but but i kinda associate him with the pre-chorus in 'In my feelings' by LDR with the 'get that cigarette smoke out of my face' and the bridge with 'got me feeling so blue, making no sense at all, gotta leave right now' sooo duet with gavin...? 'shades of cool' (u may have noticed i like lana songs by now!!) also really matches nines IMO, the song is about her own pain and disappointment but but it also centers around this flawed love interest she wants to fix and understand, but ultimately can't, which to me just feels like nines and gavin, atleast in my own hc's (can you guess my fav ship yet) connor: whilst this song (a human's touch) could generally apply to all androids in dbh I connect it most with connor, especially in the second verse; "We were still going strong I never did you wrong Until the new me came along It was just you and me We were such a good team But now I’m alone on the boulevard of broken screens" Listening to this, I can really imagine him talking to Amanda after being introduced to his successor, the RK900 ('the new me') - I also can imagine the boulevard of broken screens being in reference to the graves of his previous bodies and I just think thattt hits yk, + whilst the second verse applies to machine connor more, the craving for human touch (connection in general) feels rather apt as by becoming deviant he has severed ties with Cyberlife, causing him to be pretty alone so yeah kara: I can just imagine her, alice and luther all singing country roads together in a car during the summer and it just warms my heart sm like its just sooo cuteee <3 I can also imagine her being a fan of Adele's music in general, I can't really explain why but she just seems like the type of person to be reaalllyyy into adele (me too) (+ i know age as a concept isnt a thing for androids really but adeles music appeals to a large age range making her music appealing 2 families so maybe im connecting adele n kara because of that) markus: I feel like I don't even need to explain history has its eyes on you... i mean come on.. but ohhh emmm geee!! I can not stress how PERFECT 'as the world caves in' is for markus atleast in my opinion, when I listen to it I can really picture this song over markus either choosing to sacrifice himself in BfD when surrounded, but generally I can just imagine this song over him doing anything really. 'run boy run' also feels like it needs little explanation, just listen to the song/look at the lyrics and youll see the connection north: I don't actually have any meaningful reasons for these songs but I just feel like north would like them but I guess 'breakin' dishes' is the one I thought about most because I can imagine her acting similarly in the same situation soo yeah chloe: Chloe doesn't really have a lot to work on with her extremely limited appearance in-game so this is completely based off a fic i read lol, where chloe was in a relationship with kamski but only in private because of his concern for his image anyways, in 'a loving feeling' mitski sings about feelings of loneliness in a relationship where her partner only shows affection alone and yeah that just feels like chloe n kamski to me!

[stylezxsilvermoon]

okay yeah ! so i think i am gonna do a xmas theme, also i feel like this "promo" for cool kids / i'm faded is me trying toooooooo hard

(big rant under the cut)

, idk i just get very frustrated at these things so i think im just gonna go back to posting when i wanna, like being so real its always been my dream to be a big account and share with my readers, and at my CORE i still wanna be that but the issue is i dont know WHERE to start, and its not like im a new writer i've been writing since i was like 15 (what i'd consider the writing i like) and im just so ????!! about it, like i feel so physically incapable of being a fandom writer like i can't explain it its everything i want but everytime i work towards it i just self implode and stop posting / stop writing, like i still wanna write OBVIOUSLY but the pressure of wanting to "make it big" destroys me like everytime idek? and it seems so easy when i think about it but then when i do it its like LOL NOPE idc idc how much effort you put in. and yes it could be the fact i've never posted a complete fic so there's really nothing for people to know me for, i just feel like people get "suprised" i write on here LIKE YEAH, i post like insanely haphazardly but yeah i do!! and it feels so preformative and ugh.

also i've struggled for a long time on what i wanna do with this account, i wanna speak up about things which includes RB'ing a shit ton, but ive always had an unhealthy imbalance of what i wanna do on here, i wanna be a writing account but what abt the stuff i wanna bring to light by RB'ing, and yes i have other side accounts but they're all for fun, i dont wanna seperate my intrests because they all belong here, just like i do, its kinda my home atp. i feel like i'm one of those people who you dont miss on dash because i rarely curate my own posts and just silently reblog so ig its kinda my fault. idk, the more ive been thinking i feel like the "big fandom writer" thing isn't gonna be for me, and then AT THE SAME TIME i feel like im shooting myself in the foot everytime i complain and wanna pick up the fight again, but idk ive been whining abt it since i was like 15 and im oh so tired with everything going on in the world so i'm just gonna write my fics.

i feel like i write so diff from everyone else, like when i post something i want it to convey something in you, i want you to feel moved and feel appreciated and loved and happy reading something i make, and i dont even know if my writing is built to do that and i may be just dicksucking myself. idek. i dont wanna post for just notes i wanna talk about what i write with other people and for people to ask me why i chose what i did and why i wrote my stories and how it made them feel or what they like about it, and i just feel like im pandering to an audience that doesn't exist everytime i idek, write author's notes, ask for feedback, talk to people about what they like, i've always taken myself way too seriously and i just feel like modern fandom is so. so.

like i grew up reading 2010's fanfics and thats the kinda vibe i like creating, like 2012 chronically online wattpad stories, with long chapters and chatty authors and a bunch of funny comments, i just idk.

[coridallasmultipass]

.

[rollercoasterwords]

genuinely thank you so much for writing thtf. it's my favourite thing to read in the whole world for so many reasons. like other than where it's obviously devastating (in SUCH a good way), idk it just makes me so happy

I think it's the first wip i followed from start to finish and I have to say that part of 2022 was not the greatest but yk, every few days there'd be a new chapter. and it was great.

I fucking love Dorcas talking about "a butterfly in the palm of your hand" it's changed the way I think so much. like you would not expect this from a fanfic lmao but it's pretty much exactly what I needed to hear at the time. living just to live, even if it's complete shit, not caring about what they're leaving behind. ch 42 (i think) where all they're doing is just washing the dishes but it's so special and they're listening to dawn storm is so important to me I love it SO much. fucking amazing.

ngl I don't really think there's anything I don't like. every character feels so right - regulus in particular sticks out to me, like there's such a good balance between him doing pretty bad things because he's not a particularly "good person" but also not being a complete dick. also I would die for marlene mckinnon and the way you write her is just so fucking good. the way she is just so alive to make up for her shorter life is so beautiful to me. I could ramble on for a very long time about everything in this fic but I dont want this to get too long lol

the music you put on the chapters is also really good like I'm pretty sure the first time I read it I didn't listen the music and then I reread it with the music and it was like a whole different experience

yeah i would've sent this earlier (like maybe a year ago) but looks like I put it off for a really long time lol

also - really love where atwmd is going rn I'm so excited for more chapters, i love Sirius Black etc etc

ahh thank u this is so sweet! i love hearing that thtf resonated w people it definitely feels like the fic kinda took on its own life & became a little philosophical journey that i was not entirely expecting lol. i think writing a story where i knew my main characters were going 2 die the whole time really made me contemplate like. ok what do i actually want 2 say abt death, and by way of that what do i wanna say abt life? bc like. as someone who doesn't believe in an afterlife i didn't wanna write a story that says "well it's ok bc they can be happy in the afterlife" <3 bc like. that does not comfort me lol. & i also didn't wanna write a story that was like "it's ok bc there's gonna be a good future 4 others after them," bc i think life means something and matters even outside of futurity. i didn't wanna play into this narrative that u have 2 Do Something 2 make ur life meaningful by making sure u have an impact on the future, etc; i wanted 2 write abt life as meaningful outside of that. & i also specifically wanted 2 write abt life as something beautiful & meaningful even with the bad stuff mixed in, and even if death is abrupt and scary and painful and unwanted. like i purposely made both their deaths pretty brutal bc i personally find the idea of a "bad death" really scary! the idea of dying before ur ready, dying scared or alone or in pain or all three, etc...and i think part of why that's so scary is bc we place this big emphasis, again, on a linear timeline of life, where death is The End, and if The End is bad, then the story's a sad one. but death is just one moment in the sum total of billions of moments throughout your life; why should that bad cancel out all the good? why should a story be sad, just because the last page of it is sad? you can open the book to any page and find happiness, and love, and warmth, etc. & that's what i'm trying 2 say w "a story is not its end."

anyway. this got much longer than expected lol i love 2 ramble abt thtf but! again ty 4 the kind words glad u enjoyed the fic glad u enjoyed the music as well!! i love the playlist 4 that fic <3

[acaciapines]

so....abt that adventure time daemon au....sits down with folded hands. im SO SO curious as to what your thoughts are and lowkey wondering if theyre anything like what ive been cooking up in my twisted mind...slash joke...YOU GO FIRST I WANNA KNOW!!

jkdfgdjfkg yeah im gonna focus on the fionna + cake aspects since thats what i posted but if you wanna know about someone else send a followup!! i have the strongest ideas for marceline and more scattered thoughts on everyone else but!! i turn this around in my head a lot lol.

under the cut bc i am incapable of being short

so. the reason fionna world is Like It Is despite nominally being a human au is bc i decided that in ooo, humans are the only people with daemons! everyone else has Something Else, but that something else isnt actually a daemon (this bit is still fuzzy lol since it would just be more bg in anything i write).

so that means the only characters in adventure time who have/had a daemon are finn (tossing around the name honey for her?? shes unsettled but mostly dogs bc they grew up with dogs lol), marceline (she lost her daemon upon becoming a vampire, gets her back at the end of stakes. do not ask me what she is settled as idk as of now lol), and simon (lost her upon becoming ice king, he does Not get her back. i think its fun if she is a penguin bc that makes ice king surrounding himself w penguins super tragic. he knows something is gone but cannot articulate what.)

also i guess people like susan strong and the humans on the human island but shhhh i dont have super strong ideas for them lol.

ALL THAT TO SAY. since fionnaworld was created by prismo (gonna be real idk what his deal is but he is obviously His Own Thing and as a deity type deal he probably is granted w 'can see dust' powers and thus has no idea what daemons are all about) and lives in ice kings/later simons head (one who doesnt know about daemons and one who is mourning the permanent loss of his own) when fionna and cake were "created" finn jake and finn's daemon were mashed into two characters, who are! human and daemon.

everyone else either never had a daemon in normal ooo (ex. pb) or didnt have them at the time fionnaworld was created and thus they werent carried over (ex. marceline.) of everyone tho probably marshall WOULD know the most, this is why he has a line in my fic where he's like, do you know what i'd do for a weird cat? as a sort of hint that he SHOULD have a daemon, but. alas.

uhhh. where am i going with this.

OH RIGHT so yeah basically when fionnaworld became de-magicked it took with it a lot of people's points of connection--everyone ends up way more isolated than they were. since simon is mourning his own daemon that translates to daemons just Not Existing, and so fionna and cake are very much isolated from each other. they dont have the words for their relationship. all fionna knows is she needs cake with her, and vice versa.

cake IS still a daemon, but without that framework shes stuck in the 'normal cat' role even though she does a lot of noncatlike things, n her and fionna are very very good still at sorta knowing what the other is thinking and reacting accordingly. the people closest to fionna (so, really just marshall and gary lol) have SOME idea of what is up but if asked its more leftover instinct than like, the ability to actually explain any of this. fionna and cake try to interact w the world as a human-daemon pair but that doesnt work when the world has no fucking idea what that is.

uh. that. probably answers some question!! i think the plot of fionna and cake itself is MOSTLY the same...really fionna and cake just find out there is a word for who they are to each other n get that relationship reestablished which isnt a far cry from canon. i really like the stuff they do with betty/simon so i wouldnt want to change that, though i imagine there is a bit of simon mourning his lost daemon too--idk i feel like you could tie those feelings in if you were to write a full adaptation but i!! dont think enough changes to do that so i wont be lol.

i mostly just wanted to do episode one bc again. daemon in a world that doesnt know wtf a daemon is. truly the funniest and most tragic thing in the world.

[kamiversee]

HEY KAMI. i did a short little investigation over the sukuna chapters, and i know i'm def wrong about all this but here's the short few stuff i got. i know ppl think sukuna could be the reason gojo's making her do this and i LOWKEY agree. ok so: gojo immediately refers to sukuna as an asshole, his smile fades/expression flickers when she asks about him, and he starts gripping onto the reader and gets more irritated when they get into the party.

this alone probably isn't enough because satoru could genuinely just think this guys disgusting lol.. but we also have some other stuff:

it really didn't take long for the reader to seduce sukuna, which again could just be because of how many partners he definitely has (or at least that's what we're assuming).

i also found it a little weird how sukuna brought her to choso's bedroom and knew that she knew him?? which is why i was like "what if sukuna created the list"... if for some reason he had something against satoru, and knew how deeply he felt for this girl, it would make sense for the list to be made by him-- especially because why would satoru add suguru... or why nanami had no idea what she was talking about when she asked if satoru owed him anything.

also the comments he makes to the reader where it seems like he knows more than he should and then tries to play it off as a joke. i dont see sukuna joking ykwim...

okay i feel like that's enough for me. I THINK I MISSED THE DETAILS U WERE TALKING ABOUT IM SORRYYY.

i love ur writing sm and ik how bad this was oops. ANYWAY CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!! :)

Definitely still missed the detail I was talking about but THATS OKAY!!😹

I js wanna note, Sukuna’s not the only one u guys should be suspicious of BUT AY DONT LEMME DETER YALL FROM UR INVESTIGATIONS !!

Also, I will say tht Sukuna’s asshole status is rather well known as he finds it surprising the reader knows nothing of it :)

And ykw the more I think abt it, there’s actually a lot of lil deats tht haven’t been spotted yet (just in general btw) & the more I think…. MOST OF THE ANSWERS ARE IN THE FIC AS OF RN💀 but you’d have to be a lunatic to actually connect all the dots & guess everything correctly

EVEN SO, as usual I cant deny or confirm this theory but I appreciate it nonetheless ^.^

[faunusrights]

hrm hrm

okay so if i may. be honest. iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii am very torn abt still making rwby stuff for like idk 3 or 4 different reasons. Maybe More. and its something ive been picking at for a hot minute and i still dont have an answer nor do i expect to get one any time soon BUT. whatever. what is a blog but a place to shit my thoughts onto.

i've been feeling bad lately abt tagging my art and fic as rwby because lets all be real here. me and canon have been divorced for a few years at this point. and as fun as it is to run around with my interpretations of these characters as i have been doing since like 2018 i do feel like im at a point where its like. Why Am I Even Tagging It. its basically not even. rwby any more. lol.

"so why not file off the serial numbers yanno? make em yr ocs and do shit with em that way" Well The Thing Is It's Not That Shrimple, You See. cause i've built this interps around the canon of rwby right. like for the way i write blake and velvet and so on so forth the faunus are like a THING. that i cant REMOVE. FUNDAMENTALLY. like if i take them from there into a new ecosystem (my brain) they're gonna die. and you might be like ah well you can make them into animal people with a different cause!!!!!!!! it's not copyrighted!!!!!!!! you are you Right but also i'll b honest team. that tightens up the audience like a butthole. most people would see a bitch with funny ears and literally feel too divorced from reality to care abt em. which is. a problem.

anyway. i also didnt watch v9 of rwby and dont intend to tbh. ive really stopped caring for a long time and now that v10 is probably never gonna get greenlit because of. The Problems. im like. hm. this feels like im gonna start drifting hard and find something else to occupy my brainhole more than rwby but im also SO ATTACHED to my beans............ like the reason im even still writing shit for rwby is because i love the characters and the way i write the characters and a few select others (kiss kiss to my fwends) and whilst i wont stop. loving them. it's hard to let them go. because even if i make an oc tomorrow who is basically my velvet in every way Well. It Still Ain't Velvet. and she'll lack all the things that made me LIKE velvet. yanno. so.

anyway this isnt meant to be a conclusive series of thoughts. its more like. hhhhh. i have a lot of personal projects on the go that're sort of expanding in my brain (follow @mundanearcane if you wanna see my slowly updating devlog on my terrible idea for the ttrpg that nobody has stopped me making yet) and obviously fallout is always my baby over on @nishaapologist and im never gonna stop loving fallout on account of. sarah lyons. existing. BUT. basically if i seem less like. enthused abt rwby. its cause. of the above. yah.