#this is why i cant do speedrunning

[demento-mori]

Out of curiosity, how long did it take you guys to beat isat?

I ask because I've heard that the playtime is around 30 hours but........

I feel like that's severly underestimating my dedicaction to dilly-dallying

[jorvikzelda]

two very different experiences were had

[teknikolor-walters]

i love being such a subhuman freak i scare my mom so bad she nearly throws up

[darcyolsson]

forcing myself to look in the mirror and forcing myself to remember it was in fact me who decided i wanted to reread this even though i knew exactly what was waiting for me at the end of this book

[todayisafridaynight]

its cute kondo and hijikata both have fireball attacks but i wanna know why the fuck tokugawa has a whole fucking flamethrower

[bloodandthebreakingofmyheart]

I have an addition to your theory- Krosis was likely not his priest name.

"Krosis" means "sorrow" or "apologies" in dovahzul. It's possible (and indeed likely) that his name was changed at some point because of something bad that happened... like the dragon he served rebelling. Think of all the other priests- they have names like Morokei, or Otar. Most aren't names immediately translatable from dovahzul, and those with dovahzul names make more sense in their meaning ("Nahkriin" meaning "revenge" or "Miraak" being one letter removed from "miiraak" meaning "portal", for example).

So why is the only dragon priest without a temple named "sorrow"? Going with your theory, it would make sense that the dragon Krosis served was marked as a traitor, and after that, Krosis had his name changed and his temple taken.

Whether it was changed by him, though, is unclear (or maybe it's not and I just don't care enough about the timeline to know when he would've died in relation to Parth's rebellion). Personally, I like the idea that he had his crypt removed and name changed AFTER his death- kind of like how the ancient Egyptians would scratch the names off the tombs of traitors.

listen i know bethesda never stated this but just by the clues it’s 99% possible that krosis was the priest of bleak falls barrow, and it was once paarthurnax’s temple. after paarthurnax’s betrayal and overthrowing the cults power, krosis’ crypt was dumped at shearpoint. dragon priests were hailed as kings and buried in the temples, you don’t dump a figure of that power on top of a mountain for no reason. this also explains why bleak falls barrow is without a named dragon priest despite it being one of the larger ruins in skyrim. 

and i like things that add up. bleak falls barrow is a fairly large ruin, like labyrinthian and skuldafn. so why would there be no named dragon priest? and of course there’s no confirmation that it was paarth’s temple or not, but he was second in command to alduin and that kind of power doesn’t amount to a tiny temple.

[supersuperdupersecretnerd]

Pressure is such a good game, but good lord what the hell have they done to Roblox.

[valleyyofthemoonnn]

losing my mind this year’s tntduo wine stream is most likely going to happen at 11pm PST (10am my time) … thats in the middle of my fucking chem final 😭😭

[baekuras]

Today on Elden Ring bs

I wanted to go grab some more Runes AND do so fighting Fortisax which I haven’t done yet

yeah anyway i just lost 160k runes because i did something else since Fia wouldnt go to sleep even though I took every step listed and restarted the game 3 times and not even D’s brother shows up to murder her so nothing is happening there and now I’m poor

i just decided not to go all Frenzied Flame and save that for the next run of “kill everything and everyone” but i am feeling very much ‘chaos reigns’ right now thanks fia

[ganondoodle]

seeing a speedrun of botw all dungeons and even like that .... its so strange how soulless totk feels to me when botw didnt, allthough it feels much flatter to me now since i know there wasnt any thought put into the things i thought were meaningful and that it will go nowhere in the end

and yet still it feels like its got soul that totk just hasnt; botw is far from perfect, like everything really, but totk to me really feels like a clunky grind game with no trust in the player at all, be it puzzles or 'story', and a fundamental missunderstanding of why botws world design and structure worked well as a whole in the end

i honestly still cant quite understand how on earth botw got totk as its 'sequel', all the things that needed work in botw where neglected or made worse totk while it also failed to follow up on literally anything in a meaningful way- when i still think the changes it needed where so OBVIOUS and the directions to follow up and expand on things to enhance not just the sequel but also botw in retrospect where so plenty and ready for the taking, it hurts me still even to think about it not being done and everything really being actively thrown away for NOTHING or things that make it AND botw WORSE in retrospect instead

i wont ever be able to forgive that, and some part of me hopes that this is the worst that they will ever do so at least we will get better games again in the future

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

sitting here thinking about the last decade and how tonight really is End Of An Era... esp for those who's character deeply cares about Solas (either friendship, or romance, or rivalry, or hatred or whatever else!) because like. We are FINALLY going to find out. We waited basically the same length of time that is being skipped in-universe to Find Out. Anyone who asks "why would your character still care that much after 10 years, don't you think that's unrealistic" well buddy its been the SAME DECADE for me on the outside and here i am still just as obsessed with this miserable elf.

but anyone who plays the games after this point ISN'T GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT... not ten years not 1 year not even a week if they don't want. they're gonna be able to load up DA:V right after they finish Trespasser if they wish. what the fuck???? insane. i think actually we should make them wait AT LEAST a month to go wild on speculation as a speedrun of what we have been Enduring on our own...

anyway im feelin some kinda Way i guess.... thank u everyone who has been following this blog for any amount of the almost-decade i've had it up... i started it after it became clear my Solas and Dragon Age obsession was eclipsing every other single thing on my main blog (which is @songofsaraneth hi that username is me when it likes/comments on your stuff) and HERE WE ARE. damn. its been an honor. i cant actually do the saluting emoji here bc i am using an iOS from like 2018 still but imagine i have inserted it

[k4txlulzz]

yknow now that i think about it, if mystic messenger wasn't so loyal to traditional gender roles it would not have the issue of "female character does emotional labor for the male characters and puts up with their bs"

if only mc was not stuck in a traditional role of "soft nurturer girl" and able to be a lot more proactive and take on the "protector" role instead

i read an amazing honkai star rail analysis on gender identity in aventurine's story and loved that it basically reverses the roles ; which is, as the author of that analysis said, probably one of reasons why he is a popular character amongst ladies . why cant cheritz do the same ? i honestly think it could really benefit the narrative!

cheritz needs to realize that by liberating our fem mc from traditional gender roles it will give her more power and make the issue i began this post with almost nonexistent. y'all alrdy have two canonically queer characters, you might as well stop with the archaic gender norms😭its okay for her to be the knight instead of the damsel in distress

it's especially frustrating when its with characters like saeyoung, who, in my opinion, require protection more than actually being the protector lol . (hes also one of the two before mentioned queer characters so this gender norm issue is especially confusing in his route)

this is one of the reasons why i like hana from the webtoon !! shes more proactive and bold, which also leads to her basically speedrunning seven's whole "im too dangerous for you go away" shenanigans

and again we circle back to "if only mystic messenger mc was non-binary" 🥲 .... these issues would be nonexistent

[thereal-true-ogilvie]

hello everyone welcome to i talk about benrey for a minute here

as someone who’s watched the entirety of hlvrai at least 6 times, the full vods at least 3, and the cast commentary hovering somewhere around 10, i consider myself to be pretty well-versed in the series. i also kin benrey. this is probably important to my perception of him.

the series is about self-aware AI.   its in the title! so it seems obvious enough to me that Benrey was programmed to be the final boss. he was SUPPOSED to be a silly character that antagonizes the protag and throws off the group dynamic, and then it’s a big reveal and you get to beat up this guy that was mean to you!

but he doesnt wanna. hes self aware.

Of all the characters, i think Bubby and Tommy are the most “powerful” in that they were able to break their characters the most. Tommy is a bit of a wild card because he doesn’t usually act like an AI. I view him as the “character you’re supposed to protect” in the party, but somewhere along the way he, too, became self-aware and figured out how to handle his own. I think that’s where the age thing comes in. He was programmed to be a 5-year-old that you’re trying to get out of this dangerous facility! but he didn’t want to be a 5-year-old, he’s smarter than that, he’s capable! so he changed it. Him being the son of Gman also probably helped with him being able to just do that.

I take Bubby and Dr. Coomer as both being tutorial characters. Dr. Coomer is a bit broken, but he still does his best to teach you about things. I think he’s the tutorial NPC that goes “watch out for [x]” and “we can use ropes to cross big pits!” and “we should call them Peeper Puppies!” while Bubby was supposed to be the “here’s how you shoot a gun”

Like, Dr. Coomer does the knowledge about the world, and Bubby does the action. for the video game. And Bubby is supposed to be kinda cold to you, because the action-tutorial NPCs tend to be. Like “what you cant even hold your own? tch, guess ill have to teach you.” But Bubby doesn’t do that. He doesn’t WANT to play the game, he wants to go back home. He liked it before the game was switched on. So he doesn’t teach Gordon shit and just tries to speedrun so the player will leave and he can go back home.

one little scene that stood out to me so much was when the crew is sitting around in a circle with the pigeons. not outside, the other scene with them sitting in a circle and there’s pigeons. why are there 2 of those.

anyways, Benrey is just staring at this pigeon behind Gordon, and singing to it, calmly. And then there’s a loud beep that sounds like the vox, and definitely doesnt come from Benrey. and he suddenly gets up and shoots the pigeon. That reads SO HARD like he was being too soft with the game world, so it pushed him to do something evil randomly. Like a little villain reboot.

Almost everything he does to antagonize Gordon can be read as genuine confusion. He kills random NPCs because he knows theyre not important, and that they can’t feel anything, and that they’ll only slow the team’s progress. And what makes Gordon so mad at him is how often Benrey says Gordon shouldnt be allowed in here. I take that as a similar stance to Bubby. Benrey doesn’t want to be the villain. He doesn’t want the player to progress and make him. That gets more obvious the closer we get to the end, and most people tend to notice it in the last scenes before Xen, where he’s suggesting they go all the way back, and basically begging the player to stop here, at least for a little while.

its really sad, honestly. but i take the cast commentary bits as canon. Which makes it adorable when Benrey comes back into the movie theatre with Gordon and we get

“I wonder what will happen. I bet you know what happens!”

“I win!!!”

He did win. He got to get past being the final boss. He got to join the epilogue. I think, he probably wasn’t supposed to be able to. But these guys broke the game enough that he could. Isn’t that sweet? Isn’t that a nice ending for him? I think he deserves it.

Wayne says he acts like “he isn’t aware unless he’s being spoken to” and I think that fits really well. Like, sometimes his actions are coded into his behavior, so he does them without realizing. And then the player interacting with him (which is the premise of the self-awareness) forces him to actually look at what he did, and sometimes he has no idea how to explain it. Leading to his “huh?”

listen to me. are you listening. i need you to hear this. i need more people to understand benrey. and how much i love him. hes trapped in the narrative, doomed by it to be the villain. but he doesn’t want to be. he clearly cares about the crew in his own silly goofy way. he doesn’t want to fight them. i wrote down everything he said in the finale, and he only says 5 outright malicious lines, all of which are directly after an unnatural pause, like he’s being rebooted again. Some important lines: “I knew this was gonna happen,”

“Stop shooting at me, I have to shoot back, I don’t wanna do that,”

“I didn’t have a big plan, I was supposed to be nice, but you forced me to be BAD so I’m gonna be BAD… friend.” the small, quiet “friend” there gets me every time. even after everything, even after his nature is revealed, he wants to believe theyre still friends.

“Don’t go in there, please… I don’t like that room." The amount of times he sounds so genuinely sad when asking them to stop, or even just saying “bro..” like he’s mourning the friendship they could’ve had. The amount of times he sounds genuinely pained when he’s glitching out and stretching across the screen.

And his last words, said childishly of course, but,

“This isn’t fair.”

[kaeyachi]

i know i said im on hiatus but i speedran thru the 4.7 dain quest coz i had a feeling the alberich clan is involved again and here are my speedrun thoughts:

NON SPOILER THOUGHTS:

- short (as always) but very sweet

- lore drop was insane

- i have been crying for the past 15 mins send help

SPOILER THOUGHTS:

caribert?! WITH 1 EARING LIKE KAEYA?! (ayo why does his npc ass look hot af)

also the hair swoop is also very kaeya

other comments:

- dain has an older bro too? damn. if we had a nickel (how many nickels do we have now?!)

- me about caribert: "huh? who tf is this? he sounds like how kaeya would talk..." *screen pans to his face* "...NO FCKING WAY-" *screen pans to scarf on wrist* "NO WAY NO WAAAAAAAY-"

- maybe i want someone to draw caribert babysitting baby kae. JUST SAYING. (gave him a piercing too w/o permission from parents)

- caribert angst. we been knew. Khaenri'ahns never catching a break fr

- CARIBERT WAS 8 WHEN HE TURNED INTO A HILICHURL?! DAAAAMN YOOOUUU HEAVENLY PRINCIPLEEEEEES *fists shaking*

- caribert baby u deserve better *i pull off an abyss twin post caribert aq*

- saw our twin and started sobbing ✌️

- pain...

- more pain...

- traveler and abyss twin in hsr? no?

- *glass crack frame scenes* ... traveler eidolons? close enough. WELCOME HOME PLANET TRAVELING TWINSIES

- atossa gurl calm down, your bf died so he kinda had no choice but to leave lmao

- speaking of leaving without saying proper goodbyes... DAIN. YOU CANT KEEP DOING THIS

- this was so short. howd they manage to make something so short? not complaining much tho coz im speedrunning rn

edit: I HAVE THEORIES. PLS WAIT FOR ME BESTIES 😭

[boxheadpaint]

diary post baby. Heavier than usual or at least probably but i dont know or remember a good portion of the things ive ever said about myself on this line. For the normal guys though i had fun making that comic, usually when i get the motivation to make anything in that format i get pretty bummed about it pretty quickly simply because of the paneling

its fun to imagine making dynamic pages of comic panels, but when you have no experience beyond trying to make manga in your teens you mostly just have the squares/rectangles stacked next to eachother. for anyone else this is fine and isnt boring to look at by its nature alone, but for me i always believe that my own work would be too dull and unexciting to eye-catching to even bother reading. trying to just lose that pressure i give myself for a day and make something silly like some animals looking at eachother is nice

one of the things i kept hearing from my own head during the call about The Good News Of Getting Disability Income And Payment For The Time I Wasn't Recieving Benefits, was that i needed to kill myself for some reason. my body reacts badly to experiencing a lot of things, though of course its worst when its negative feelings. not even particularly strong ones, maybe a little nervous or a little mad and it likes to tremble or tense up totally. i dont know why exactly i reacted in this particular way other than the usual "what do you mean i dont need to freak out about this anymore. what am i going to do with all this freaking out juice? just chug it?"

im worried lately that ive built up too much of a tolerance to my sertraline, if thats something that happens. but i dont know for sure, and i dont know what ill do if that is the case. maybe it is still working and i just cant tell because even though its bad things would be much worse if i stopped taking it. it just feels like these days it doesnt do anything to help me feel better or more in control. can i speedrun making it work again by going cold turkey for a week and then getting back on it so my brain is like wow this awfulness stopped after i took this awesome pills.

can i give the money i recieve from social security to someone else to save? is that legal? or do they hunt you down for sport for doing that. what if you wanted to buy a house. or rent a house. Or just fucking live somewhere because these days prices are fucking absurd. ridiculous even.

hey girl, rat piss. hey girl, rat piss. I realize other than the blue puppy video i havent posted anything for pride. partly of anxieties of course, especially given the Great track record of the site withing the past month, but also straight up forgetfulness. I keep forgetting too many things and being too tired to remember. At night though i can do just about anything. I think ill take a nap and then wake up at 2 am to keep drawing. I have things to draw

6/24/2024