#this is why boys will always be so scary to me
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TIME TO YAPP 🎀
I named him zach, mainly as a "placeholder," but i don't care if his name is different in the 3d. he's taller than me, pale skin, brown eyes, with his dark hair in a wolfcut style. we met on the first day of school and i thought he was so cute. but i was too nervous to talk to him, until we got paired up for a project. zach was so goofy and fun, and even after it ended, he still wanted to talk to me and ended up taking my number. his whole wardrobe is kind of like a 2000s rapper mixed with opiumcore. baggy jeans, wife beaters, chains, all that shi (and he looks so fine in them 🩷) zachy looks really scary when u first meet him (ngl he can be if u piss him off), but he's generally just a big teddy bear ( ˘ ³˘) he is one of the sweetest people i've ever met and the best choice for my first bf :D he's always there to help me and listens to me when i vent abt shi that's bothering me. ik it sounds like the standard, but trust me, it's above the standard for a teenage boy...he also just has the EXACT same humor as me. bro is literally just me as the opposite gender ong 🙏 like one time i texted "hawk tuah 🔥" for literally no reason and his response was "ur very very SPECIAL 💜" (in revenge, i didn't give him any cheek kisses for a whole day (`ω´*)) another thing is that he let's me practice braiding his hair. my mommy never learnt how to braid hair from her mother and so struggled a lot with mine. i didn't want that problem if i ever had a kid, so he lets me practice on him. the first time i tried cornrows and he asked how he looked, I said "white boy carl ahh 🙏" he stole my juice box after >:T he's also one of the most chronically online ppl ik. like i swear bro is on tiktok 20 hours a day bcuz why am i responding to the tiktoks he sends like im grading his fukin homework?? speaking of hw, im so glad that he had y'know,actual aspirations n shi. so many boys in my school r getting into gangs n shit which is why it makes me so happy i ended up with someone who isn't affiliated with allat. he wants to go to a local college, which is fine, but i definitely think he could get into a better one if he wanted to. my prince is so intelligent (σ´∀`)σ also, he's been working out at the gym lately and it's starting to show 👀 (ngl gotta start doing it too) his parents absolutely love me, especially his mommy :3 once while we were in the car she was like "remember [my name], if my son ever gives u trouble, u come straight to me, ok?" it was a joke ofc (my bf would never hurt me) but it's nice to know i have their backs!! there's so much more i feel like im missing but it's hard for me explain!! when i love someone or smth a lot, i get so excited to talk abt them i can't put into words how i feel. i wuv him sooooo much n im so happy he loves me too!!!🎀
I need someone to yap about their s/o
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random spn opinions that no one asked for
Lilith always should have possessed or appeared as a little girl. everything is the same but i just view her as someone who died young and took people to possess accordingly. Also It's pretty scary for one of the most powerful demons to just always appear as an innocent child
chuck should have just been a prophet or at least not confirmed god because personally i like when stories let you theorize about something as important as god. It also would have played into the Faith idea of the show
for the same reason as before i never really liked Amara. like shes cool. also she was in such an off putting love situation with dean him meeting her as an infant and all.
sam should have been 'the boy king' at some point and i get that could be a reference to the fact he is Lucifer's vessel. but him as a yellow eyed demon like hinted to would have been amazing (like how did we get night of hell Dean before Prince of hell Sam?)
In the later seasons sam and dean kept calling themselves hunters but they really were people who kept ending the world for each other and then trying to fix that problem by ending the world in a different way. Love them anyway
the cage shouldn't have been so easily broken into by Rowena, like it took 66 seals by Lilith to open it the first time and The four horsemen rings to open it to throw something back in. Love Rowena obviously she's really powerful but still seemed too easy
The alternate reality plot shouldn't have been introduced at all. i love au Michael buttttt there could have been so many different ways to reintroduce Michael without introducing different realities.
I loveeee love love love love Adam but They should have either never introduced him or treated him better as a character than they did. Because he deserved it, he did quite literally take the fall for Dean
SOMEONE LITERALLY ANYONE SHOULD HAVE KEPT TRACK OF WHAT WAS CANON. it pmo soooo much every time they went back on what they said last season or at the beginning of the show and never mentioned that it changed or why it changed.
The boys should have never lost their saving people part of the hunting things quote because at some point they just started killing every single possessed person either by an angel or a demon they ever came by
The Angels falling was a beautiful scene but them never gaining their wings back was odd to me, And I feel like it was only done like that because they didn't want them to be so powerful So they could just go back to having demons being problems
The angel tablet made me mad as a whole, like why was it powerful?? none of the other tablets were powerful They just were things prophets read
#spn#supernatural#adam milligan#the angel tablet#lilith spn#saving people hunting things#dean winchester#sam winchester#john winchester#spn takes
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WSFSP - Chaos
Masterlist
Might delete this later!
cw: pet whump, box boy universe/bbu adjacent, institutionalized slavery, romantic whumpee, conditioned whumpees, multiple whumpees, drugging mention, abuse mention, dubcon mention
——————
“Hi.”
Joey almost didn’t hear him, ear pressed to the speaker of her radio, but she saw him. Wesley was tall and lanky, something hard to miss when he was standing right in front of you.
For a moment she wondered where Graham was, always two steps behind, but realized he was more than likely still in bed. Wesley liked to sneak out alone in the early hours of the morning.
Picking up her head and resting it in the palm of her hand, she strung up a smile. She was ever so good at pretending those. “Hello.” She lightened her voice, bubbly as her ma’am would have liked it.
He didn’t seem comfortable with that. “Can I… can I sit? Please?”
“Yes.” The rest of the sentence - whatever you like - was left unsaid, yet still there in a way, like he knew she’s gritting it back. It was probably sat right there in his throat too, waiting to be set free.
He knelt in the chair, knees bumping on the wood, sat uncomfortably. She was never like that herself, her ma’am always kind enough to allow her on the furniture, but she recalled Florence doing the same.
“Do you always listen to the radio?”
“Kind of.” She said, with a nod. “A lot of the time.”
Nicely Wesley flashed a smile, a pet smile, crooking his head in her direction. “You change the- the um… the station a lot. Why?”
“I’m just…,” biting her lip she turned away, “just looking for something.”
“What is it?” He pressed, resting his chin on his arms, crossed over the table. He seemed interested, curiosity painted over his expression. An innocent curiosity, not stemming from a rotting place of malice.
“My lady.”
“Oh.” He said, rolling that around in his head for a moment, before nodding. He refrained from looking her in the eye. “I- I kind of thought that.” Wesley paused for a moment, his lack of social skills obviously not preparing him for what to continue with. “Do you think you’ll find her?”
Tipping her head, she shrugged. “Sometimes.”
“Do you want to?”
“I’d rather not answer that.” She wasn’t so sure she had a satisfactory answer, or any answer at all. Definitely not one that could be put into words.
He bit at his lip, fingers curling into fists.“Sorry. Sorry.”
“You’re fine.”
“I don’t know if I want to see my sir again.” He said, quick and nearly a mumble, working his jaw.
“Mm.”
“I miss him… a lot. A lot, a lot. I think.” Gaze glazing over, Wesley had a little glint in his eye that made him look as if he was about to cry. “Do you think he would hate me now? If he knew I let you guys take me away and… and make me this?”
“I dunno.”
“I… hope he wouldn’t. I don’t like it when sir is mad at me.” Then he sounded like a child, one wishing their parent would not be angry with them instead of a human pet with a sir.
“I don’t think any pet wants their owner mad at them.” Joey’s smile was gone then, dropped in favor of the circumstances. “My ma’am… she got scary when she was angry. Violent.”
He lit up, almost with a strange excitement. “My sir, um, he made me lick his shoes once.” Giggling at his own words, it was out of place, but she was not unnerved.
“My lady liked to force me to eat until I threw up. Like cake and stuff. I hate cake.”
“My sir,” he was chuckling just thinking about it, “he’d give me this medicine that made me feel all weird and sleepy, and then dress me up funny. I can’t remember anything after that.”
Swallowing, she curled his hand into hers. “I’m sorry that happened to you, Wesley. You didn’t deserve any of that.” She thought maybe it was something he needed to hear, sounding just like Isaac.
He was surprised by that. “But- but it’s funny… I was bad. I didn’t mean to-,” his lip trembled as he paused, holding himself back. She tightened her grip on his hand, and he copied her in return.
As he blinked back tears she said, “It’s okay, you can cry.” And he did just that.
A moment later, “Wesley?” Graham called, words shaky, rushing out from their room until he found his companion. Soon enough, he switched to Joey. “Why is he- what did you do?”
“We were just talking, Graham.” She said, as calm as she possibly could with a beast baring his teeth at her.
He didn’t believe her, not one bit. “Did you- have you hurt him? Is he hurt? What did you do?”
Rufus stood to his feet, reaching out a hand in his best attempt to calm Graham down. “She- she didn’t-,”
“Hey-!” He picked her up by the armpits, pinning her to the wall. “I didn’t-!”
“Tell me what you did!” He shouted this time, Joey blinking as bits of spittle splattered onto her scrunched expression.
Her hands were gripped to his arms, wriggling her best out of his hold. “Calm the fuck down!”
“What’s going on?” Florence entered the scene then - Otis hanging back behind the doorway - rushing in wearing pajamas, eyes falling wide as they settled on the fuss. “Get off’a her!”
Wesley looked between the group, fear clearly stuffing up his face. “Please don’t- he’s just confused-!”
“Don’t touch him!” Graham snarled at Joey, blinded by aggression, shoving Florence away and allowing her to slump to the floor.
”Don’t fucking touch her!” Florence, a good deal smaller than Graham, continued to stand his ground as the newer rescue let a growl rumble from his throat.
The front door slammed shut, bags of groceries disregarded swift to the countertop. “Hey, hey, hey! What are you people doing?” Isaac threw herself between them, both Florence and Graham backing away.
Joey bit her lip, rubbing at her shoulder. Florence and Graham were staring daggers at one another. Otis looked on the verge of tears.
“I was,” Wesley started, brushing away at his tear stained cheeks, “with J- Joey, and Graham thought she hurt me ‘cause I was crying, and-,”
“Yeah, and he fucking attacked her!” Florence threw his hands in the air, yelling.
“Hey! Wesley’s speaking, please show him some respect-,”
Isaac made a mistake. A grave one at that, palm clamping right over her mouth with a hitch of breath.
All five rescues dropped to the floor, all in the same position, each rigid and stone cold as they pressed their foreheads to the wood. Sucking in a breath, each rescue rushing through the horrors in their head, the air fell silent.
Hey, pet. You think you’re all that ‘cause my momma liked you? Do us all a favor and give me my rightful respect.
Don’t you dare ever speak to me that way, dog. You’re a fucking animal that needs to learn the basics of respect.
You don’t want to, Princey? Really? And when have I, or really anyone for that matter, ever cared what you wanted? I think you should show some respect.
You’re just a dirty mutt with rocks for brains, and I’m sure you’re aware. Do you want to go back in the dog house, or are you ready to learn to respect?
I’ve given you everything you could ever ask for, Buttons. All these sweets, a home, a name, and that is what I get? Show some fucking respect.
“God fucking dammit.”
——————
Masterlist
Taglist - @softvampirewhump @ivymyers @taterswhump @octopus-reactivated @tippytappytyping
@distracted-obsessions @starfields08000 @bitchaknso @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl @scoundrelwithboba
@whumped-by-glitter @whumpering-heights @arlin-always-writing @bilightningwhumper @sharkyydoesnothing
If anyone wants to be removed or added to the taglist, please let me know! :)
#Writing#my writing#whump writing#Whump#whumpblr#we search for stolen personhood#Isaac oc#otis oc#josephine oc#wesley oc#graham oc#Pet whump#conditioned whumpees#Recovery whump#fighting#dubcon mention#drugging mention#Abuse mention#Box boy whump#bbu#box boy universe
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the phrase "girls girl" is sexism evolved and created in fear of being labeled as misandry and/or the south's fear of being labeled of a leftist, liberal, or feminist.
I am all for being a girls girl, but men aren’t required to like all men. Women now are required to like all women and everything about them. We must like someone’s music just because a woman made it. They can’t be competitive and trash talk like men because that’s not being inclusive for all women. We can’t talk about how we dislike a certain style, god forbid we hate a certain style; god forbid we say we hate something a woman is a part of.
women can take the same amount of criticism a man gets. BUT. Women shouldn’t be criticized just for being a woman. They shouldn’t be harmed, discriminated, hated just for BEING a woman.
I hate this new “girls girl” culture. I hate how people criticize Taylor Swift (womp womp) for being competitive on the charts and calling her “not a girls girl” simply for doing what a man would do with other men.
men don’t have to be a “boys boy” or whatever. Why?
Even in “feminist culture” we see harmful things.
don’t just say you’re a girls girl to gentrify and make yourself less scary to men. Say you’re a feminist. Criticize women. Advocate on your own life that every woman, even the ones you criticize are safe and treated as equal.
We are now held to the same standard we were in 1950 to always be pleasant and never to hate anyone. But it's been re-branded to being a girls girl.
But it's so entertaining when we are, isn't it? That's something we may never escape no matter what we do.
Be someone who fights for women. Be someone who believes all women are equal and all deserve to live life as freely as men. But you do not have to like every woman, just as you come prepared in mind that you may not be liked.
All that is truly important is that we don't put down other women to intentionally HURT them. There is a line between simply not liking a woman and putting them down intentionally.
AND WHILE I'M ON THE SUBJECT, I am also tired of this "pick-me" shit that's been going around. Blatant sexism that comes stems from the expectation of how women should act. You have no cause to call a woman a pick me just for mentioning that she likes video games, or may just get along better with boys- it depends on how she treats about women. That is all that matters!
And yes- you get to not like her. Because? We're human too.
Writing this very essay has made me feel inhuman. We need a guide on how to be morally right because we keep having to put up with how society wants us to be. We should be girls girls, but we also need to entertain by getting pulled into rivalries intentionally for the sake of.
If you skipped everything I said, this is the only thing you need to worry about. TREAT EVERYONE AS EQUAL AND HAVING SUCH EQUALITY TO EXERCISE AN INHERENT LIKE TO OUR OWN FUCKING FEELINGS TOWARD PEOPLE. TREAT EVERYONE AS EQUAL; AS YOU WOULD NOT CARE FOR ONE TO DISLIKE YOU, BUT WOULD CARE VERY MUCH IF THEY ALLOWED YOU TO BE HARMED, EMOTIONALLY OR PHYSICALLY. BUT- HATING OR DISLIKING SOMEONE FOR A QUALITY THEY WERE BORN WITH CANNOT BE JUSTIFIED BY ANY FORM; UNLESS SAID QUALITY HARMS OTHERS.
THAT IS FEMINISM. LIBERATE YOURSELF FROM THE NARRATIVE AND GO FREELY.
#writers on tumblr#female writers#writing#my writing#writeblr#on writing#feminism#liberal feminism#sexism#fuck the patriarchy#girl's girl#smash the patriarchy#fuck trump#personal essay#essay#in this essay i will#food for thought#gender roles#democratic party#leftists#leftism#liberals#morality#ethics#philosophy#ideology#morals#women#womanhood#girls supporting girls
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WOOO HERE WE GO!! REACTIONS TO THE LAST EPISODE!!! SPOILERS!!!
^ i feel like i'm gonna laugh at that later.
oh my god the stop motion is gorgeous
jinx why are you doing that
JINX
SILCO'S CHAIR??? THE LAST DROP???
JINX NO DON'T KILL YOURSELF. OH MY GOD THAT'S THE SAME WAY SHE KILLED MILO AND CLAGGOR. I'M UNWELL
EKKO!!! BOY SAVIOUR DEAREST!!! BEST BOY!!!
HSJAHHAA THE WAY EKKO KEEPS CANCELLING JINX SETTING OFF THE BOMB THING
"always a dance with you" after he just danced with her in an alternate timeline :((
and her hair is short like there too now :((
"see if i can talk an old friend out of blowing us up" when she already blew them both up in season 1 during the bridge fight. oh the parallels. arcane you make me sick
watching the intro again, blind, for the last time ever. not skipping this time out of respect. as it plays, let me just say that suicidal jinx is written so beautifully and so accurately i am actually worried about the arcane writers. especially with the "please let me go" lyric playing right before the intro, when ekko is trying to make jinx not kill herself (and him)
aftercare ❌ planning a fight that starts a war ✅
anyway in season 1 the writers used a deez nuts joke, so i am choosing to believe that whatever is going on with the vi pov flashes is their take on the "subtle foreshadowing" trend. i will die on this hill
oh my god the parallel between vi freezing up when she sees blue hair under the enforcer's helmet and jinx freezing up in season 1 when one of the firelights was a girl with short pink hair. arcane writers i will have your heads on SIGHT.
on another note, this show is honestly one of parallels. by that logic i am declaring my last prediction, five minutes into the last episode; the season will end either with an explosion or with a fight on the bridge. i'm thinking explosion
naurr ambessa what the fuck that was NASTY
not the noxians sniping the sniper.. foul.
is that warwick???
LORIS NO
maddie is so cute you guys i can't even lie i get why caitlyn went for her
poor vi man she always gets more trauma
HELL YEAH BLUE ENFORCER GUY
IT DID NOT JUST GET JAMMED. WITH A FUCKING SCREW. WHY NOT COVER SUCH AN IMPORTANT PART UP???
boss music playing when ambessa shows up was not on my bingo
THE MADDIE BETRAYAL OH MY GOD. I MEAN I SAW IT COMING BUT IT'S SO GOOD. MAYBE THAT'S WHY IT'S SO GOOD. OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS GODDAMN SHOW.
anyway as i was saying boss music playing when ambessa shows up was not on my bingo card but it definitely should've been. that got a cackle out of me
did ambessa just say the professional version of "i told you so". that's what vi told caitlyn to tell her. now caitlyn is being told that
HOLY SHIT FUCK YEAH CAHOLY SHIT NO CAITLYN DON'T GET STABBED
yeah bitch doesn't feel so good to get hurt near your hip and be left whimpering now does it. this is how vi felt you ASSHOLE
HAAA NOT MADDIE GETTING SHOT BY HER OWN BULLET. ICONIC
MEL MEDARDA FUCK YEAH
why is humming intensifying OH FUCK YEAH JINX HELL YEAH THIS IS SO ICONIC JINX I LOVE YOU
HELL YEAH ZAUNITES!!!
the parallel between us being shown jinx fighting the firelights on a ship in season one. and now jinx is on a ship fighting WITH the firelights. parallels will be my undoing.
mel is iconic that's all i have to say
the hexcore is HOLLOW???
oh Wish!jesus how did you sneak in
EHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU
OH MY GOD THOSE CREATURE THINGS ARE TERRIFYING
SEVIKA NO DON'T TURN TO JESUS
HAAA THE BITCH SLAP
THE JESUS CREATURES ARE SO SCARY
NO DON'T KILL VI. DO NOT KILL VI.
OH MY GOD WARWICK LEAVE JINX ALONE
OH MY GOD EKKO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SAVING VI
AND THEN VI SAVES JINX. THIS IS THE GOLDEN TRIO I DON'T CARE
"choice is false" fuck you too viktor. i CHOOSE that you are a fuckwad
ambessa trying to stab caitlyn in the eye, jinx stabbing silco in the eye (with that needle). parallels
not caitlyn ending the fight with the blade that was INSIDE OF HER THIGH
"a wolf has no mercy" may be the most satisfying callback i have ever seen
...eh? mel sent ambessa to black rose but then took her back out?
"you are the wolf" do not make me cry. this is like "you're perfect" (silco to jinx) but with more context and layers and oh my god i'm gonna be SICK.
viktor you are NOT about to force corrupt jayce.
"i'm always with you" // "you were always with me; whispers on the street, hairs on the back of my neck" arcane writers i LOATHE you and that's a compliment
warwick leave my girls alone.
"dad?" i'm gonna CRY.
the way jinx just starts shooting again with no clear target. girl please remember what happened to silco
jinx + vi vs. vander and viktor vs. jayce was something i NEVER saw coming before i started watching season 2. i also did not expect to see it happen IN THE SAME SPACE.
the jesus follower creatures: *cutely tilts head at jayce*
oh my god viktor corrupted all my favourite girls. ekko do not get corrupted please i am begging
jayce is conscious within the jesus verse?
WOOO BOY SAVIOUR!!!
NOOO EKKO
YAAAYYY EKKO
NOOO EKKO
ekko how far did you just rewind
"that device can't be" ok and? yet it is still
viktor is losing jesusness? "losing my faith" moment?
"all i want is my partner back" jayce i WILL cry.
VIKTOR IS THE MAGE MAN IN THE HOOD THAT SAVED JAYCE'S MOM CONFIRMED!!! MY LONGEST THEORY HELL YEAH!!!
"in all timelines, in all possibilities, only you can show me this." you might as well have written him a love song, viktor.
viktor pushing jayce away like vi and caitlyn pushed each other away in the intro.
oh the art is so hauntingly majestic.
sorry did jayce just DIE.
holy shit it's raining bodies!!!
no i'm on jinx's side VI WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING
OH MY GOD WARWICK WHAT THE FUCK
poor jinx is being traumatised
OH MY GOD THEY'RE ALL DYING. IT'S BODIES BODIES BODIES UP IN HERE
"always with you, sis," i already talked about the always with x parallels but i think my heart just shattered into a million pieces and then got stomped on over and over again and the pieces were reassembled to spell out "FUCK YOU ARCANE VIEWERS" because WHAT THE FUCK ARCANE WRITERS WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK FUCK YOU YOU FUCKS??? WHAT THE FUCK???
oh my god that's jayce's mom right there :(
sevika is a councilor now oh my god i have so many thoughts
singed's daughter is alive??
fuck you black crow
omg is noxus mel's now
is vi okay???
vi!!! NO YOU ARE NOT SINGING THAT SONG.FUXJ YOU ARCANE WRITERS I'M GONNA SOB
(the series ending with the same song it started with being hummed. FILTHY. perfect circle, perfect parallel, i should've seen it coming, i didn't. i am ILL.)
vi resting her head on vi's shoulder after powder did the same with ekko in an alternate timeline. FOUL.
okay the episode just ended and i have absolutely nothing to say. this was. an experience. i am traumatised. what the fuck. this was beautiful.
30 minutes until arcane season 2 act 3!! i am not okay
predictions/bingo:
mel dies and/or loses autonomy (gets corrupted by black rose)
that golden thing on mel's back is magic
jinx starts doing shit again to honour isha
ambessa learns about communication & being truthful (but it's too late)
viktor lives (somehow)
warwick lives (somehow x2 maybe singed will save him?)
ONE (1) silly moment between vi and jinx. please just this crumb man arcane writers please
caitvi stick together again?
caitvi FUCKS (the buildup???)
uhhh what other characters exist
it'll be explained more thoroughly why jayce killed his boyfriend jesus
what other characters exist???
EKKO will reappear and save the day. boy saviour my beloved <333 i swear i have never seen a single hate comment on ekko he's so precious we all just universally love him
ekko will do something problematic (just because the writers like spiting us and we've all been on his side all this time)
ekko time power thing upgrade
jesus!viktor is the magic man in jayce's memory or something (you can't deny the similarities idc)
i have no clue what'll happen to heimerdinger so I'll just say he dies
lol i'm looking through the arcane wiki character list and basically everyone is dead fuck you arcane writers
sevika gets +1 arm again?? pls dude that poor woman
piltover + zaun vs noxus/black rose?
why is the hexcore listed as a character.
jayce mom returns and goes "son wtf have you done why did you kill a ma— a jesus??"
ekko's tree dies. i'm sorry buddy i don't see it living. unless ekko uses his new time power to reverse the damage or something but i don't think that's how it works
something happens with caitvi and they never see each other again
act 3 breaks my heart
act 3 makes me want to never draw and write ever again but simultaneously makes me want to make so much art
i will need therapy after act 3
YOU will need therapy after act 3
^ that will be all of us, everyone who watches arcane act 3
okay i think that was all. nine minutes left. may the lord (viktor, and also the writers) have mercy on us. lighting a candle and surrounding it with crystals for good luck. i have 4 earrings in and they all have moonstone. pls jesus (viktor, and the writers) go easy on us
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on one hand completely ignoring your emotions is soo good for my mental stability and productivity but man i miss staring at the ceiling and listening to sad songs on loop
#idk if depression is the right word but yeah that author was right you become comfortable in your sadness you start loving it because#it becomes such a defining part of you#if i don't engage in any bad habits throughout the day i start to feel so uncomfortable and wrong and unfamiliar#that i crash and do something old me would've done again :(#the bounce back time has significantly improved tho so that's a relief#also lol who am i kidding pms will come soon im sure#but anyway#i physically can't listen to waiting room rn i listened to the opening notes and it was like#like a dam about to burst#so i just closed the gate very fast#i can't be sad rn because then i will feel lonely and then i will miss people and they won't miss me and ill cry the gasping for breath#i don't know what to do with this emptiness in the middle of my chest crying#man i hope this doesn't have any long term consequences#also i hope one day being good feels like me again and rotting in bed becomes unbearable again#i used to be so active like not physically but idk just like engaged with life more#curiously excitedly#well there's no going back now but i do hope i find a good balance#i was reading normal people and kinda rerealised that woah this sadness will always be a huge part of me. you only get#one childhood and. welp it got too real too relatable#i hope i don't turn out like her every self help book ive read says kids follow in their parents footsteps but god i hope not#this is why boys will always be so scary to me#future seems so bleak sometimes like not my 20s they'll be fire im sure but after that. am i even capable of being loved long term?#if the person who knew me the most well can move on from me in a flash. well then. i don't have anything more to give this is all#what has this post even become oh god. whatever. ill keep trying to be smarter first interesting second hopefully lovable will follow
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been scribblin with the dip pens to prepare for inking the next comic (yuuto⏫’s “origin story” kind of basically) and wow turns out I can do anything I want forever
yuuto’s new friends names of amy and linh >:]c
#UTAU#sawayama yuuto#bakuspecial#[comic tag pending]#I'll be drawing about just the beginning of this whole plot this time round. but boy oh boy if I were paid to serialize this!!#well even if I wont. I will hopefully get to chip away at it a bit at a time. over the next uhhhhh ten years#in another news. I think somethings up with the dip pens. about anything comes out looking good with them#its scary!! I kept looking at my sketches like no way these are gonna work out. but I'll do it for the practice hour#and then I do it and it always turns out pretty good. what the hells!!! thats weird!! thats kinda scary I like it!!!#and like I'm absolutely not even that good with a dip pen yet!! 1/Ive just had these for uhh. two days. and 2/my hands are NOT steady#its why u see me undo and redo a line 298473987 times twice a half hour. it was caught on stream multiple times#but!! the dip pen's making me commit to a line. and also I'm slowly internalizing that anything'd come out okay with them#as long as I have a sketch. boy oh boy is freehanding with these hard#its so. idk its so nice!! its so fun. somehow a lot less pressure than the usual stuff I do lol#I cant wait to really get into drawing this comic... I cant wait to force all of u to look at yuuto&co#you WILL see and hear my baby boy#dskjfhsjk Im so glad the senpai lets me do this. I mean even if he doesnt I will do it anyway. its just gonna suck#but Im so happy I get to do this with him actually#hehehe >:]c
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im gonna answer the other ask later but TRANSFEM SCARY I WAS. ALSO THINKING HBBBGNN
#willy goes both ways abt such things bcus. one he is a misogynist and a homophobe or at least was on earth. obviously#and he still holds you know that. hypermasculine toxic mindset as of s1 based on the uhhh#“overly feminine namby pamby” whatever he says#(kicking myself for not having it memorized)#but i assume that he encountered more variable things in the forgotten realms that may have made him more normal abt. gender variance there#god okay i. hes not. he has an opinion of “you can be a freak if you want whatever. ill play pretend with you. ill tolerate it.”#i really like transmasc ron for similar reasons.. of.... especially when they meet in the cabin where hes cooking fish#and willys like “thats right get some bass in your voice boy !!”#like i know its just regular like. ron isnt masculine enough. but it reads very sarcastic....#“get some bass in your voice” like . you wanna be a boy so bad okay. ill humor you. hahahah. man up then.#um but transfem scary i like a similar. thing. of.... tolerating her being a girl and playing along but always being.#kind of chiding about it.#im so worried were not on the same pagw#which is fine obviously but i get so shy abt when. someone offers me headcanons that i dont agree with and i have to be like#“hahaha yeah whatever you say” like i cant say anything back cus its Wrong to me. BUT.#god though yeah her. visibly being hard around him & its both deeply sort of gross but very flattering to him like. i can work with this...#i think of him as a. opportunist. hes not into cock & not into kids really. dwindling upwards of teen girls but eh.#so when a cute troubled teen girl is literally. offering herself up to you at your feet man its like. why would i say no !! ♡#hes more into taking advantage of her than any of her personal details you know. like her as a person doesnt really. matter. who cares#shes available and stupid and looking to him for advice and validation.#sorry again i havent LISTENED TO ANY OF THIS. I CAN BE WRONG#didnt anthony make the joke abt willy not being brave enough to try pegging. maybe this is his chance#who said that. who. said that#you really want to manipulate a teen girl then you humble yourself and suck her cock and shes yours forever.#im crazy. im crazy#.dxt#scary
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is it autism or is it a symptom of previous longterm social isolation and lack of agency ?
#i think. im not good at being a person.#ive finally gotten some alone time and i am reflecting. and well.#i dont think you can make me socially aware ^-^ i dont think i'll ever get good at it.#i donknow why ^-^👍 and i dont think it matters 👍#i think hes getting tired of me alreadyyyy......#and i think. lots of other ppl . dont see me wout him already also.#ive managed this already... impressive ^-^#but the japanese international girls like me so !!! it doesnt matter !!! i have. two nice friends. and 1 intimidating friend.#i will not get bullied or made fun of or be in ungetoutable bad situations bc of. mafia friend.#and then i will recharge and be silly around. nice friends.#i think the fact that im actively thinking about this. doesnt do anything for my case.#i think. im getting masking lessons. when i hang out w him. if it really is the autism. and im failing a little bit.#he thinks ive got anxiety. 💭💭 psych major ass. sorry. my roommates also psych major. why are they. talkers.#theyre scawy.#they both got adhd too. whats with that#anyway.#i want to get a haircut.#and hes like. well. hes literally 4 real a model. and his mom was a model. and all his friends were. guess what. models.#so. scary. so i will go to a shitty salon w a nice normal level of social skill friend and then not say anything i think.#i love yapping on here this is awesome. i can just say anytging.#non u know me in real life#how did i end up making friends w the most 'popular guy' guy in the world this is so stressful.#everyone likes him. there are ppl who only talk to me to get an idea of where he might be at. what happened.#howd i go from friendless loser to. loser but in a completely different friend environment. friends w guy who is too good at making friends#but chooses to hang out w me ? does he choose to do that. is it all coincidence?#how did i get here. it really doesnt feel real#i want. to . explode.#yknow i never even really talked to boys before this also. wtf. wtf..#i have only been saying nice things so far i think but i think its important to know that he. scares me. hes so from bc.#i have always been scared of island ppl theyre. all so mad always. and guess what he is too. and yet here i am.
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honestly love robots so much especially as a trans guy bc of the sort of customisability and gender neutrality offered to robots. a lot of the ppl who voted robot on that poll seem to be hung up on the non-human element which is scary but the way i see it a robot can be lovingly crafted the way a child is born. especially when you aren't religious so the here and now means more to me than any concept of a soul. robots still have their own identity and even if they aren't 'human' they still feel... something. even if its programmed. our brains and environments essentially program us to feel specific ways so why get hung up on that as a robot. ROBOT CLONES HOWEVER
#when i tell you astro boy honestly fucked me up as a kid...#to be a robot mimicking a dead person AND IMPLANTED WITH THEIR MEMORIES.......#its similar to the way fern from AT makes me feel.. like being a non human clone with distinct memories of human sensations#like taste and stuff. and having that ripped from you in an instant essentially#I LOVE CLONES... I LOVE CLONES THEY ARE SO PERFECT FOR STORIES ABOUT GRIEF AND FAMILIAL EXPECTATIONS#it just really resonates with me bc i look quite like my dad but i also probably inhereted by disorder from him#and he pretty much tried to raise us to be as conspiratorial and paranoid as possible#so ive lived enough with my mum to avoid becoming just like him but theres parts of him i can recognise in myself#which also upsets me because i worry that i remind my mum of him sometimes. bc he was a shite husband and father#so yeah. clones are freaking badass and induce a certain amount of despair in me...#i do understand why finding out u were a robot would be scary. but i just kinda fuck with robots#in a similar vein i always think that if i found out i was an alien id be like OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. okay. everything makes sense now
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#sighs shawols come on now can we just stop being mad before this comeback wow#yeah some choices have me like (i.e headwear or facewear) but like just to say that the concept is bad and the mv will be bad is just...#maybe I am too sensitive#I just don't get why we are doing this again after not having the boys together for so long#we can criticize choices and I will always back that but nuance is needed here#there has been so many crazy cool things related to these teasers so far#I feel like they went all out#hard#SHINee#FAMILee#my gods#8th album#shawols#it's like I can agree the wardrobe is really giving NCT but how is that scary? we are talking about motherfucking SHINee NCT could never
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So, I'm trans. And several years ago, I was at my great grandfather's funeral. 17, newly on T, barely out to anyone other than my close friends and family. And I'm standing there at the refreshment's table, surrounded by strangers and members of my family's church, when George walks up to me.
This man is ancient, bent like a finger and frail. Tufts of white hair surround his wrinkled face. Like always, he's wearing thick glasses, massive hearing aids, and his veteran's hat. George was my first introduction to the concept of war, when he told me as a child why he was missing two fingers on his hand. He's been a fixture at church since I can remember. I've only ever seen him at there or in uniform at parades, the rest of his time spent in a nursing home somewhere. He picks up a deviled egg and says, in his quiet voice,
"You know, before your grandfather died, he told me that now he had 3 grandsons."
I'm frozen in place. I don't know what to say to that, if I should say anything at all. This is not a conversation I expected to have, especially not with this man. But he continues.
"I didn't know what he meant! So he explained it to me."
And I can imagine it. My great grandfather, uninformed and opinionated but supportive, explaining to his friend the news he barely understood himself over after-service coffee and cookies. His eldest grandchild was now a boy.
"And, you know, I didn't know what to think."
Here, George looks me up and down. This 90-something year old war veteran, who knew me mostly as the little girl playing in the church kitchen with his wife, processing what my great grandfather had really meant. It feels like a long pause, even thought it probably passed in a second.
"But you look good. So, eh!"
And then he smiled, shrugged, and walked away without another word. If I was fine, if I was happier, then that's all that mattered.
George passed away this week, at the age of 99. This memory has been bouncing around in my head for a while, but I wasn't sure if or how I should share it. It was a conversation that meant very little, but also meant the world. It was scary, and funny, and the moment when I realized that sometimes the people you least expect will accept you. Sometimes, even if they don't fully understand, even if they barely know you, someone will choose to support you. And that will always matter.
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#the idol system is such a fascinating and scary thing to me#like hearing shit over the years it's like how does anyone survive it?#(i'm staying away from all the anti-blackness of kpop & their fandoms rn so just the system)#((that was more for me bc my brain wants to go in that direction bc hooooooo. it's the main reason i cannot vibe w more than a few songs#over the last almost 15 years cause like knowing.... anyway))#like i just got groundfloored w a group rn via jbrekkie shoutout michelle like literally their debut is 24 hrs from now i've rabbitholed#since i heard their snippet on her vid and like the way ppl talk about it already like... as an outsider it's like alriiiight here we goo#they're (mgmt) pipelining another group of ppl let's be sure to support it! streamstreamvote!! oo it looks like their taking the toy/doll#route w these girls super aesthetic let's goo. & like......????? and ppl are already rabid about it. it's wild. and like this is the system#this is it. they make groups and then tease and the people who follow the conglomerate see it and are waiting to#be fed another x amount of folks doing formations and looking cute/hot open wide and consume#(like ik some (or a lot) of those accnts are bots/plants to pad the release and gain traction against algos but like also real folks too)#like not to discredit their vocal work (&dancing though some (alot) of these grps are not nearly as lit w 'dancing' as folks hype em up to#be Frfr. good movers/formations/camera motion & body rolls do not a dancer/good choreo make) but it's really secondary for a lot of#folks atp it's so strange & fascinating. and like i dug the song that's why i'm here so no knock against that but just the factory of it al#it's so damn WILD to me. but at the same time let's be real here. same dish different kitchen for a lot of western pop#they're just more transparent about it and have streamlined finding their popstars & having the public be great w it#it's just... i think it would be less strange if stan culture wasn't a thing or at least more mild than it is now#if it wasn't blown up to this unfathomably massive ever-churning industry by people in literal droves#idk idk i have a lot of thoughts on kpop it's truly a very interesting thing and to have been aware of it and into it to#an extent a while before the sonic boom in the west is an incredibly wild thing to look back on#like i wanna follow this (mostly cause i wanna hear the whole song) but also v curious but also like man the system is bad for many#reasons & here's another batch on the conveyor belt. idk :/#like as long as the participants are happy and healthy and being actually taken care of and not advantage of then great but#yk. the music industry at large is horrible (and esp to women) so like. god ide wanna think about the disparities btwn girl & boy groups#(like to start are they not referred to as 'male groups' on the reg but 'girl groups' more often than 'female'? always w the infantalizing#like given girl group has way more ring than female group but the words still conjure up different things it's just how language works#but boy group idk if i've ever really heard someone use that? and there's been a long time battle w the reclamation of 'boy band'#like it's still dirty for a lot of folks but anyway v western context but there's a large fanbase here so many fans speak as such#this is what we call our own pop groups etc. and it's just interesting and sad idk anyway it's just... huuuhhh a lot.) ok gn lol
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"SHUT UP, MAMA." 𓆝 ⋆。𖦹°‧
ִ ࣪𖤐 featuring. gojo satoru, toji fushiguro, nanami kento
ִ ࣪𖤐 warnings. fem! reader, husband! au, i made names for your children but feel free to disregard it
note. i remembered this tiktok trend, just figured i should write about how the jjk men would react to their child doing this.
𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔
gojo had a day off. it's rare for a jujutsu sorcerer like him — being the strongest, he's an asset to the jujutsu world. so him being in a day off is like a miracle to both you and your seven year old son, who might i say, is an exact carbon copy of your husband.
"honey, you need to put your toys away. it's almost dinner time," you said from the kitchen, gojo by your side, ready to help you with anything.
"let me take that," he sings out, grabbing two plates from your grasp — you chuckled, letting him take the white colored ceramic disk, "looks good, baby."
as you and gojo walked out of the kitchen, placing the plates on top of the dining table. gojo pulled out your seat for you. habits die hard, the male has always pulled your seat out for you since the very first date.
your son. marise gojo. a boisterous little boy, absolutely loves to play with his rocket toys, and somehow believes he's a little astronaut. there he sat in front of the TV, playing with his toys, an astronaut helmet covering his small head.
"buddy," gojo calls out to the boy, "it's dinner time, clean up your toys. mama made some good food."
when gojo's call didn't work, you tried doing it next, "marise, your food's going to get cold, honey."
the young boy didn't make any visible movements, but you heard him yell out with his high pitched voice, "shut up, mama!"
gojo looks at you briefly. i mean — as a father, he couldn't believe his own son said that. to his mother. gojo wasn't one to get mad, in fact, marise is a total daddy's boy. but he felt angry, frustrated, annoyed, all at once.
he wasted no time leaping up from his seat, approaching the young boy. his smile no longer visible; gojo was unhappy. the male used one of his hands to take off marise's astronaut helmet, tossing it aside before grabbing the young boy by his small waist.
marise didn't complain, and he still has no idea of what his father is about to do. so he just sat still in gojo's embrace — until gojo puts him down beside you, "say sorry."
marise's bright blue eyes stared up at gojo in confusion, "say sorry to mama, marise."
it wasn't "baby" or "buddy" like gojo used to address him by, and marise wasn't stupid. he knew he did something wrong, but he just didn't get what or why his father is telling him to apologize to you.
"sorry mama . . ." marise's soft voice resounds.
"do you know what you did wrong?" gojo questions sternly.
marise shook his head, his eyes watering at gojo's tone of voice, "no papa . . ."
gojo sighs, he squats down and gazes into his son's eyes, "you should never say 'shut up' to mama or papa, okay? not to anyone, 'ts not polite. don't ever do that again, now say sorry to mama for saying that."
marise nods his head and turns to look at you, his eyes watering — it's not everyday that you get to see papa gojo get angry, "'m sorry mama, i will never do that again," the young boy finally cried, letting his tears fall out of his doe eyes.
you can't help but to smile at the young boy, pulling him onto your lap to cradle him, "don't do that again, baby. 'ts not polite," your fingers grazed his chubby cheeks, wiping his tears away, "and if mama or papa tells you to stop playing and eat, what do you do?"
marise sniffled, "stop playing and eat."
"good boy," you kissed his little forehead, "go give papa a kiss."
and that marise did, gojo immediately picking the boy into his arms with a big smile, "give papa two kisses, buddy."
sure, gojo is a fun parent. but he knows how to teach his children boundaries — what to do and what not to do. he's scary when he's angry.
𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎
megumi is the child that made you and toji think you both should have another child — fukuo is the child that made you and toji stop wanting more children. not saying that fukuo is a bad kid, but the boy is relentless.
with a pretty large age difference between megumi and fukuo with six years, sometimes megumi had to teach fukuo some manners, telling the younger boy what's right and wrong. when fukuo misbehaves, it's megumi and you to the rescue — while toji would usually chuckle it off since, well, he's a little minus on the manners part as well. but you're working on that.
toji said so himself, he wouldn't mind fukuo misbehaving on some things. but the male did set some boundaries up for both of his boys and how they should act well towards you (and him).
today, megumi is twelve and fukuo is six. both of your boys look alike, "mama, 'm gonna be staying late at school because we have a play coming, 'm gonna help my classmate decorate the stage," megumi tells you as he puts on his shoes.
"alright, baby. have a good day at school, i love you," you pressed a kiss on megumi's head, waving him goodbye.
as megumi disappears behind the front door, you walk back inside the house, "toji, wake fukuo up, please. 'm getting his breakfast ready," toji who had his eyes on the television curtly nodded, sluggishly walking towards the boy's room.
"hey, champ." toji approaches the boy, who was sleeping soundly, "your mother's made some good food f' you. if you're not gonna eat it, i'll steal your portion."
fukuo squirmed a bit, but his eyes were still shut tightly, "fukuo," toji gently shook the boy, poking his cheek.
like anyone, fukuo didn't like his sleep disturbed, "papa, stop . . ." he mumbled out, shifting his small body so his little back was facing toji, "five more minutes."
toji sighs, "five more minutes."
he then went out of the room, "he asked for five more minutes," he informs you — sitting back down on the couch.
"five more minutes," was not an unfamiliar statement to you, especially coming from fukuo who had always managed to, of course, butcher the concept of time right after. it was either an hour, or more.
so you waited five minutes, and when the young boy didn't emerge from his bedroom, you found yourself walking towards it, "fukuo? baby, come on, mama made you breakfast . . ." you turn on the light, which made fukuo subconsciously twitch.
"fukuo, come on, papa will eat your breakfast . . ." you shook the boy gently.
"shut up, mama."
you blinked in surprise, but only managed out an exasperated sigh at the boy's sudden outburst, until all of a sudden toji appears beside you — his hand wet, and he slides his palm across the boy's face with a serious look on his face.
"wake up, fukuo. i won't tell you this again," toji mutters out, "three."
oh, god. the countdown was every kid's nightmare, "two," including fukuo's — shown by how the young boy immediately sat up on his bed, "apologize to your mother."
fukuo furrowed his brows, "why?"
"you don't tell her to shut up. apologize." you were just there silently, a little shocked at how toji had become so serious when he's usually so laid-back with the boys, "say sorry and eat your breakfast."
fukuo swallows his saliva nervously and scoots over to you, "'m sorry for telling you to shut up mama, i promise i won't do that again . . ." he whispers, throwing his short arms around your neck — burying his face into the crook of your neck.
you pulled him close, carrying the young boy in your arms, "'ts okay baby, no more telling people to shut up, okay? 's not nice, it'll hurt people's feelings."
"okay mama . . . 'm sorry for hurting your feelings," fukuo pulls back slightly, pressing a chaste kiss on your cheek before facing toji, "'m sorry for hurting mama's feelings, papa."
toji placed his palm over the boy's face, covering it entirely, a sheepish smirk plastered on his lips, "go brush y'r teeth and eat your breakfast, mama made some pancakes."
𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎
nanami is such a girl dad. ever since he found out that both of you were going to have a baby girl, he's delighted. just knowing that he'd have a mini version of the both of you made his stomach churn in happiness.
hoshi. nanami hoshi is her name. it was a very peaceful six years of raising her — but they said there will be a devil baby phase, and here she was. whining, throwing tantrums over things she didn't get. it was honestly tiring, but you knew this was a risk of raising a child.
"hoshi, baby, please stand up." you cooed down at the girl who was lying down on the ground. in the middle of a mall, "mama and papa will buy that toy for you next time, i promise."
nanami was by your side, holding onto the baby stroller. his eyes were unreadable, you don't know what he had in mind, but the look he peered at your daughter was plainly and eerily terrifying.
yes, there are moments where he spoils hoshi with what she wants. toys, food, drinks, you name it. but there are times where he declines because he didn't want her to grow up too spoiled, "i wan' that toy, mama!"
you inhaled sharply, trying to slide your hand underneath her armpits to pick her up, but hoshi refused by kicking your hands away. her little kicks barely scratched you — but the people looking at your small family as they passed by definitely got a little kick to you.
"baby, people are looking at you . . ." you whispered.
"i don't care, shut up, mama!"
that was the last straw for nanami who had been silent. he grabbed your arm and tugged you up gently, nodding at you as if telling you to leave this one to him.
you backed away slightly, taking a hold of the stroller nanami had let go a few seconds prior as he squats down. forcefully but gently slipping his hands underneath hoshi's armpits, carrying her into his arms.
"mama said we will buy that toy for you next time, okay?" he sternly said, eyeing his little girl who was now silent as she gazed into his eyes, "and you never. never tell mama to shut up, do you understand?"
hoshi nods her head slowly, lips quivering at her father's sudden lecture, nanami's eyes visibly softened and he rocked her in his arms, "papa's not angry at you, hoshi. but papa wants you to know that telling mama to shut up is not polite, okay?"
again hoshi nods her head.
"go and say that you're sorry to mama," he pecked her chubby cheeks before letting her down onto the ground.
hoshi's little legs ran towards you, hugging your leg, "'m so sorry mama," she muffles into your leg, "i don't want the toy anymore, mama. 'm sorry for being a bad girl."
you squat down, nuzzling your nose to her, "you're not a bad girl, baby . . . mama and papa will buy you that next time, okay? we promise."
"okay, mama. i love you."
© CHURIPU 2024 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#fluff#gojo satoru#gojo fluff#jjk#gojo satoru x reader#nanami kento#nanami kento fluff#nanami fluff#nanami kentor x reader#fushiguro toji#toji fluff#toji fushiguro x reader#toji#nanami#gojo
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I'd love to see me from your pov — GOJO S.
synopsis: Gojo Satoru seems to struggle with the idea of love and doesn't quite know where to stand. Luckily for him, you're there to soothe his worries every time.
word count: 2,1k
content warning: a tiny bit of angst, but you know me and my love for this man.
note: hi hello there :)! it's October which means it's the 4th year anniversary since the release of ariana's album positions! I adore that album with all of my being, and what better way to show my love than to dedicate some of my favorite songs to my favorite anime men? enjoy reading!
Satoru has never known what love is. His parents’ marriage was an arranged one, his mother’s good looks and her status along with his father’s powerful technique is what brought them together. And nine months later, the wielder of the six eyes was born. Raised in an environment where his father was barely around, the only warmth he’s ever felt was his mother’s hand holding his smaller one as she walks him around the Gojo estate, showing off the boy whose birth altered the balance of the world.
Then she was off to do her duties as Madame Gojo.
Satoru remembers his childhood as being extremely dull. He was forbidden from social interactions, was told that they are useless unless the person was of any benefit to him or his powers—which at the time, six year old Satoru didn’t understand but he had no choice but to comply with his father’s words.
Bright pair of blue eyes would then follow his father’s figure as he made his way towards the sliding paper door, but before he could leave, the tall man turned towards his wife whose eyes remained glued to her lap before announcing.
“I’ll be off.” Whether that meant for hours, days or weeks, Satoru never knew.
Logically, that led to the creation of his image on love and marriage. He avoided the two concepts like the plague. Love was always meant to find others before it could even glance his way, and Satoru was okay with that.
He was okay with spending the rest of his time alone, maybe he would buy a house on the top of a hill and own a nice border collie dog. Perhaps, that dog would show him a little bit of loyalty and love because Satoru feeds it and takes it on walks, but when the sun goes down and the dog goes to sleep, it would be just Satoru and his thoughts. Dying alone sounded scary, but it was better than ending up like his parents.
“Are you okay?” The tall man feels a gentle squeeze on his large hand. Suddenly, he’s pulled back into the present.
The smell of fresh roses and the cold breeze overwhelm his senses. He blinks and realizes that he must’ve taken off his blindfold somewhere—Satoru can’t remember where, or why he got so lost in his thoughts.
“Satoru?” That voice. That sweet, warm and honeyed voice, barely above a whisper as it calls out his name and he gets another whiff of something—perfume.
Your perfume.
You’re standing next to him, smaller frame and smaller hand squeezing his own and he remembers why he was pulled back into his childhood.
You had squeezed his hand the same way his mother did. Except this time, you don’t pull away like she does. In fact, you haven't pulled away in years.
When Suguru left, Satoru was trying to piece himself back together within the confines of his own place. Quiet, cold and unwelcoming. He despised the feeling, it made him feel like shit and Satoru was usually the type to ignore his feelings—so when they come crashing against him in strong waves, the strongest can’t duck down and avoid them, he can’t swim away and find refuge. He chooses to believe that he is his own refuge, even if he’s messy and selfish and quite literally just a jerk. The strongest was unable to save his own best friend from a fate that is so horrible, one that could’ve easily been avoided had he looked harder.
Had he not been raised that way.
“Satoru?”
On a cold October night in 2007, you show up at Satoru’s apartment with food and homemade sweets. You’re sweaty, clearly having climbed up the stairs since you had no access to the elevator. He sees you, he cannot process the reason for your sudden visit until he sees your lip quiver and your eyes fill with tears.
“I’m sorry.” You say with so much emotion that the teenager can only try to stop himself from digging his fingernails into the palms of his hands.
Although he only realizes it years later, the only person who had shown Satoru that he was worth a bit of love was Suguru. He had been your classmate too, your friend. You’re grieving his absence too, but you choose to stay with Satoru that night. He doesn’t say much, you don’t press him about it.
He doesn’t understand why.
A couple of months pass, your visits become more regular. He buys you a mattress and even suggests you move in with him in the guest room of his apartment. And after much consideration, you agree and the two of you become roommates.
What had once been a cold, uncomfortable apartment slowly turns into a refuge for Satoru, a place he looks forward to coming back to after a long day of missions. Was it because of the smell of food that fills the hallway as he approaches the door, or the thought of finding you in there when he inserts the key? Satoru isn’t sure yet.
He’s still a bit confused as to why you want to be around him.
Months turn into years, your presence remains a constant in his and Megumi’s lives when he takes him in. You have your own room that you choose to share with Tsumiki and you treat the two children like your own. The strongest believes that your heart is as big as the oceans combined.
For someone whose youth was stolen away by the Jujutsu society, Satoru tries to make sure that his students don’t meet the same fate. So he takes on countless missions, protects students like they’re his own children and promises them a bright future. Even if it’s at the expense of his own.
You hate that, and you make it clear to him the day he takes in Yuuta.
“That’s such bullshit.”
“Hey, watch it.”
“No, you listen to me!” This is the most emotion you’ve shown since that one night you came to visit him. Satoru looks up from his phone where he’s sitting, and is a bit taken aback when he sees your eyes fill up with tears. “Do you realize how dangerous it is to be going around and doing shit like that?”
“What–saving them?”
“Ruining your future!” You raise your hands in the air.
“I don’t have a future.”
The room falls silent. Suddenly, you’re glad that Megumi and Tsumiki weren’t home. Your eyes meet his, and the white haired male watches as your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. There’s a thousand expressions on your face—betrayal? Hurt? Worry? He can’t decipher them.
He is overwhelmed. His six eyes are screaming at him that your cursed energy was elevating, your body temperature was rising and he can see that your chest is heaving.
He still doesn’t realize what he had just said.
To him, it was the truth. There was nothing morbid about his words. If he couldn’t see himself marrying or falling in love, then Satoru simply did not have a future. Those children do, and that’s what he should prioritize.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t–”
“Satoru–” you lose your breath as you utter his name, broken and weak. You gulp harshly, heart pounding loudly in your ears. “You can’t say that.”
It’s selfish, you’re aware of that, but it can’t be helped. You watch as the light of the man you had been clinging onto like a lifeline for years starts to dim, and you scramble to find the source of the problem.
And while Satoru’s six eyes are screaming at him to walk away, his heart pins him to the ground of his living room. Overwhelmed and emotional, it reminds him of that one lonely night. He can’t tell you how he feels, he can’t pinpoint to you that it’s because of his parents that his heart refuses to let him accept the idea of love. He sees the waves coming, large and tall and ready to destroy him years later—as he scrambles to find refuge, his heart finally feels at ease.
Your arms wrap tightly around his middle, chin resting on his shoulder and your hands digging into his shoulders in an attempt to soothe him. You want to stop your chest from stuttering, but your quivering lip gives away your strong emotions.
“I’ll stay.”
Why would you stay?
His arms feel heavy as he lifts them up and finally rests them on your warm body, pulling you so close to him you feel yourself suffocate. It doesn’t matter. Satoru hugs you so tightly that you hear your heart break.
You don’t comment on the wet feeling on your shoulder, or the way his hands tremble as they grip the back of your shirt. You let him cling onto you as though you were the air he needed to breathe, the warmth he sought in the middle of the coldest nights.
—
“Thank you.”
“Hm?” You look to your side, a bit confused. The white haired man thinks you look very adorable when you’re clueless, trying to understand his words.
“Thank you? What for?” Satoru isn’t one to get nervous, but your stare has him feeling a little hot. He hopes he isn’t blushing, it doesn’t suit his brand.
“For saying yes.” This time, he is the one who squeezes your hand and you hold back a chuckle at how he avoids eye contact. You squeeze his hand back and lean your head against his shoulder.
“I would be crazy not to marry you.”
“But you know… given my line of work, and Suguru—”
“Satoru,” you stop the man before he can carry on with his small ramble. You appreciate how vocal he is, it is one of the major changes to his personality ever since the two of you made it official. “I am a sorcerer as well. I understand.”
“You hate the missions I take.”
“I hate the way the higher ups view you, not the missions you take.”
Silence engulfs the two of you.
You fidget with your hands, feeling as though you might’ve crossed a line your husband wasn’t ready to let you cross yet—
“And you?”
“Huh?”
“How do you view me?” He asks, voice low and small. He still doesn’t look at you, nor does he look anywhere really. Despite being 28 years old, Satoru feels the same way he felt at 6 years old. Vulnerable, worthless and in need of a reminder of what he brought to this world other than his powers–
“You’re handsome.” You break his chain of thoughts with a lot of ease, and he looks up at you with wide eyes. “A handsome, caring young man with a big,” a finger traces his heart over his shirt, “big heart. You have a child-like spirit, and a boy-ish smile that could make anyone fall for you very easily. I don’t want to focus too much on your looks, but they’re unfortunately a huge part of who you are,”
“You’re selfless.” You lean against the balcony railings, staring down at the city. “People take you for granted and either you don’t seem to notice, or you try not to.”
“And last, you’re too good for this world.”
Your eyes sparkle as you describe every small detail about the man. You pour all of your emotions into your tiny monologue, so you fail to notice that Satoru had removed his hands off the railings. Until you feel something warm on your sides and something heavy on your shoulder.
“Satoru?”
“I’m fine,” his broken voice would beg to differ, but you don’t push him. You rest your hands on top of his and let him pull you back against his chest in a warm, tight hug.
He had always wanted to see himself through your eyes, filled with so much adoration and trust that it made his heart burst in his chest. He was riddled with confusion and something he couldn’t quite decipher anytime you had told him ‘of course it was you’ when he would do something nice, or ‘you’re not like that’ when you heard Nanami mumble something about Satoru’s playful behavior.
You wish you could give him your eyes, take away some of that overwhelming feeling of being the wielder of the six eyes and allow him to rest—see himself as the selfless, kind-hearted man that he was to you.
Since that was physically impossible, you’ll stick to loving him as though he held the universe between his palms.
You make loving him seem as easy as breathing, and the inner child living deep within him is forever grateful for that.
2024 © all works belong to @slttygeto. do not repost, translate or steal any of my works.
#moon's works#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#Gojo Satoru x reader#gojo angst#gojo satoru x reader angst#gojo x reader fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen angst#jjk gojo#jjk gojo satoru#gojo x yn#gojo x you#gojo x reader#gojo x y/n
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— sugar, i've got a taste for you.
NAVIGATION // inbox. | tags. | writing. | library. | moodboard.
pairing: theodore nott x reader x mattheo riddle.
song inspiration: sugar by sleep token.
author's note: happy halloween ya'll! this isn't a trick, @writingsbychlo and I are once again back with a treat. enjoy my spookie pookies.
“What’s your favorite scary movie?”
You settled in between Theo and Mattheo, handing each boy their own respective popcorn bowls. Mattheo’s was simple — homestyle with enough butter to send a healthy grown adult into cardiac arrest, while Theo’s was sprinkled with candy and chocolate to satisfy his sweet tooth. You alternated grabbing handfuls from each of their bowls, hence your strategic position of being sandwiched between your best friends.
“I don’t have one,” you responded after popping a sour gummy worm into your mouth.
Mattheo looked incredulous. “That’s impossible. Everyone has a favorite.”
“Mattheo is right,” Theo added in agreement. “There’s the cult classics: Halloween, Friday the 13th, Child’s Play, A Nightmare on Elm Street…”
“I’ll even allow the newer additions, which aren’t as good as the originals.” Mattheo grinned sheepishly at your pointed look. Between the three of you, he was by far the biggest movie snob. “Hereditary? Pearl? The Strangers?” He pretended to shudder in disgust. “Even…the Purge?”
You shrugged. “I’m more of a romcom type of girl.”
Theo sighed. “Horror is wasted on you, bella.”
“It’s not my fault you two always outvote me,” you responded with an eye roll. “Speaking of which, what are we watching tonight?”
Mattheo and Theo wore matching grins as they answered in unison. “Scream.”
When the movie started playing on the projector in the living room, you snuggled up under the blanket and prepared yourself for another terrifying movie night. You honestly had no idea why you put yourself through this every week. Scary movies terrified you, but the boys always managed to sweet talk you into watching them.
Usually, Theo distracted you by reciting horror trivia facts. Your best friend did so now, informing you that the movie’s title was inspired by a Michael Jackson song, but the fun little tidbit barely registered. As it turns out, you had no need for distractions tonight. For once, you didn’t flinch or hide or tuck your head into Mattheo or Theo’s neck. Instead, your eyes were glued to the screen. Every time Ghostface appeared, you bit your lip and clenched your thighs.
You blamed your latest smutty read and your overactive imagination for the reaction. The last novel you devoured featured erotic scenes enacted by not one, but two masked men. The sheer filth of it left you flushed and flustered, a fact that piqued Theo’s curiosity earlier this week.
Perhaps you should’ve focused on your studies rather than uncovering your newfound mask kink, but you couldn’t help it. The book captured your attention in a way that your Potions homework could only dream of. Nosy little git that he was, Theo attempted to peek at the page over your shoulder. Luckily, you escaped what would’ve been a rather embarrassing conversation by smacking him upside the head and walking away in a huff.
You managed to evade the situation with your dignity still intact.
Or so you thought.
Unbeknownst to you, Theo had snuck into your dorm later that day and borrowed — okay, so maybe stole was more accurate — your book to see what had his best friend all hot and bothered. He couldn’t believe the absolute filth you were casually reading in his presence. Naturally, Theo shared this interesting little discovery with Mattheo. From there, a plan was formed.
The first thing that should’ve tipped you off was Mattheo excusing himself for a cigarette. Matty never took a smoke break during movie night. He said it ruined the cinematic experience. Unfortunately, you were too engrossed in the movie to notice him slip away.
“I’m gonna get a refill,” Theo announced. “You want anything from the kitchen, bella?”
You shook your head absentmindedly. Theo smirked to himself as he watched you in the doorway. Any other time, you would’ve insisted on coming with Theo, anxiously fisting the edge of his cardigan and clinging on like a koala as you hugged him from behind.
Theo could’ve watched you all day, but the way you gaped when Billy Loomis licked red dye off of his fingers reminded him to stay focused. There were other things at play tonight.
Unaware of Theo’s nefarious plans, you continued to shovel popcorn into your mouth while watching the big reveal at the edge of your seat. You were in your own little world. It wasn’t until the credits started rolling when you finally realized you were alone. As the movie faded to black, you startled when the sound of your ringtone sliced through the silence.
You blinked at your phone, thumb hovering over the Unknown Number flashing across the bright screen. That was odd. Everyone knew you weren’t big on talking on the phone. Besides, who even called nowadays? That’s what texting was for.
Part of you wanted to let it ring and run its course, but a bigger part of you — the morbidly curious part of you — won in the end.
“Hello?”
The voice on the other end was distorted and difficult to identify. You had no idea who was on the other end, but they knew you. “Hello, Y/N.”
“Who is this?”
“I’ll give you one guess.”
Your fingers shook as you glanced at the phone in confusion. “Who are you?”
“That’s not the way the game works, little mouse.”
“I don’t play games.”
“What if your life depended on it?”
Anger boiled to the surface in response to the stranger’s threat. “What the fuck do you want?”
“You’re pretty when you’re angry, little mouse.”
His words stopped you cold. A shiver went down your spine as you gravitated towards the window, glancing at the street below. At this hour, people milled about the main square in flocks. Any of them could be the person on the other line.
You started to panic, but remembered you weren’t alone in the house. Theo was in the kitchen supposedly refilling on snacks. It was the perfect cover to play one of his little practical jokes on you.
“That’s not funny, Teddy.” You huffed in annoyance. “You scared the shit out of me.”
The other line was silent as you made your way towards the kitchen.
“Seriously, you’re freaking me out. Can you please just come back and cuddle?”
From the hallway, you heard the sounds of shuffling. “Yeah, yeah, I’m coming, bella. Teddy’s here to save you from the big bad wolf—”
Color drained from your face as you rounded the corner. Theo was coming towards you with a fresh bowl of popcorn, but he wasn’t alone. Lurking in the shadows, Ghostface pressed the phone against his ear and waved.
“Boo.”
You screamed, scrambling towards Theo as you nearly dropped your phone on the floor.
“What’s wrong, bella?”
You responded by tugging your best friend by the wrist, the bowl of popcorn tumbling out of his hands and scattering all over the wooden floorboards. “Run, Teddy, run!”
The two of you sprinted up the stairs hand in hand. The house was dark, slivers of moonlight creeping through the windows while you and Theo ran blindly. Thinking quickly, you tugged him into the nearest closet. Theo’s hand shook as he pressed a finger up to your lips.
With a nod, you held your breath as Ghostface stomped up the stairs. Fear surged through your veins, small whimpers escaping your lips involuntarily. The floorboards creaked as he crept his way through the second floor. When the masked man’s shadow drew closer, Theo pulled you into his chest and pressed his hand against your mouth.
“Come out, come out, wherever you are…” Ghostface sang in a mocking tone. His voice echoed through the walls, giving an even eerier feel to an already fucked up night. “I’m waiting for you, little mouse.”
Your ragged breaths were silenced as you squeezed your eyes shut, forcing yourself to focus on the steady beating of Theo’s heart. Your best friend gripped your hips in place, his silver rings cold against your bare skin. You wondered how they would feel pressed against other parts of your body. You bit your lip at the sensation, mentally scolding yourself for all the inappropriate thoughts running wild in your lust addled brain.
Luckily, Theo was none the wiser. Seconds felt like hours as Ghostface lurked around the corner, trashing rooms in his wake. The sound of furniture crashing and glass breaking filled the otherwise silent house as you struggled to hold it together.
When the squeak of boots stopped right outside the door, you pressed into Theo for comfort, praying to whatever deity that the two of you could remain hidden. You clutched the end of your best friend’s cardigan as Ghostface stopped right outside the door.
Whatever hope you might’ve had of hiding was ripped to shreds when Ghostface yanked the door open. It was terrifying enough to see his cloaked figure boxing you in, but the knife in his gloved hand caused your fear to skyrocket. Theo threw himself between you and the masked man, urging you to run.
“Go, Y/N!” Your best friend commanded. “Don’t let the bastard catch you.”
“No, I’m not leaving you!”
“I’ll be fine,” Theo said unconvincingly as he dodged Ghostface’s blade. “Hide and I’ll find you, okay?”
“But, Theo —“
“Please, bella.”
The argument died in your throat as Ghostface lunged towards you. He grabbed you by the hair, yanking you towards him. As you fought back, the masked man pinned you against the wall.
“Where do you think you’re going, sweetheart?”
Your breath hitched as he ran his blade over your cheek. “Such a pretty face,” he murmured. “Are you going to be a good girl for me, little mouse?”
“Fuck you,” you spat vehemently.
Ghostface chuckled darkly as he lowered his face to yours. He teased his knife along your thighs, the steel climbing higher and higher until it rested against your clothed core. You keened at the cold sensation against your clit. It was so wrong, but it felt so fucking right.
“I will if you beg me nicely,” Ghostface drawled. “Maybe if you got on your knees and sucked my cock, I’ll give you what you really want. I’m dying to split you apart, little mouse.”
“Go to hell!”
You drove your knee into Ghostface’s crotch and made a run for it just as Theo tackled him into the other room. Your best friend frantically instructed you to escape once again. As much as you didn’t want to leave him, you knew you had to escape and get help.
Stumbling down the stairs, you fumbled for your phone. With shaky hands, you dialed emergency services. The dial tone flatlined in your ears, indicating that the lines were down. Likely thanks to Ghostface.
You screamed in frustration, tears blurring your vision as you tried and failed to concoct a back up plan. Running past the bathroom, you jerked when a hand shot out in the dark to grab your wrist. You started to fight back, hitting and kicking at whatever you could.
“It’s me, princess,” Mattheo said.
“Matty?”
Mattheo nodded as he dragged you into the bathroom. “What happened?”
“There’s— there’s a psycho in the house. It’s Ghostface. He has a knife. He’s— Theo— oh god, I left Theo alone with him. I didn’t want to, but he told me to go.”
You were hyperventilating, your chest tightening to the point of pain. “Shh, it’s okay,” Mattheo cooed. “It’s going to be fine. We’ll get Theo back, but first we have to hide, okay? Can you do that for me?”
At your nod, Mattheo directed you towards the bathtub. He instructed you to lay on your back as he drew the curtains. You held your breath as Mattheo lowered himself, his body hovering over yours while the two of you came face to face.
“We have to be quiet,” Mattheo whispered. The low, smoky tone of his voice sent shivers down your spine.
Though a psychotic masked man prowled the house, you couldn’t control your body’s reaction. The delicious heat radiating off of Mattheo was impossible to ignore. Especially since he was so close your lips were nearly touching.
“You’re doing great, Y/N,” he praised.
You should’ve been scared. You were both in danger, but there was something about being in close proximity that awakened arousal within you. First Theo, now Mattheo. It wasn’t surprising. You’ve never been able to choose between your two favorite boys.
Just as Mattheo’s eyes dipped down to your lips, Theo’s scream pierced through the tension. Guilt washed over you instantly. Theo was out there fighting for his life while you were thinking sinful thoughts about his best mate.
“Stay right here, princess,” Mattheo commanded.
“No, no, please Matty, don’t leave—”
“I have to help Theo,” he explained. “But we’ll come back for you. Just stay put, okay?”
Unshed tears rimmed your eyes as you nodded. Mattheo squeezed your hip before stepping out of the tub. He looked back when you caught his wrist.
“Be careful, Matty,” you whispered. “And please, get Teddy back. I’d never forgive myself if anything happened to either one of you.”
Mattheo kissed your forehead in agreement. As he slipped out of the bathroom, your anxiety spiked once more. For a few seconds, there was nothing but silence. Then the sound of raised voices drew your attention. It sounded like an argument of some sort before you heard a sickening crunch, like a body crashing against the wall.
You heard Mattheo screaming out Theo’s name, launching you into action. Fuck staying in the sidelines. Your boys needed your help.
The scene in the living room was chaotic. Mattheo was nowhere to be found. Theo was on the floor, surrounded by broken glass. Something flashed in the corner of your vision, a hint of silver that caught your attention. It distracted you momentarily, allowing Ghostface the opportunity to shove you aside.
The moment of realization hit you too late. Ghostface was already charging towards Theo while brandishing his signature knife. Time slowed as you screamed, crawling towards your best friend while glass crunched underneath you.
You watched in horror as Ghostface stabbed your best friend in the stomach, blood gushing down the front of Theo’s shirt while you screamed. With shaking hands, you tried to stanch the bleeding by putting pressure on the wound. Tears spilled onto your cheeks as his cardigan turned crimson.
Brushing his hair off his forehead, you leaned down and cupped his cheek. “Teddy? Stay with me, please.”
His skin felt cold and clammy under your fingertips. You looked around frantically, trying to track the psychotic killer that just stabbed your best friend. A scream tore through your throat when a hand gripped your wrist.
Underneath you, Theo’s eyes fluttered open. “Surprise, bella.”
You drew back in surprise, scooting right into the masked man behind you. “What’s the matter, princess?” A familiar voice whispered as he discarded his disguise. Mattheo flashed you a sinister smirk. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Mattheo pulled Theo up off the floor, the two of them laughing while you stared in disbelief at the shocking reveal. When it clicked that Theo was perfectly fine, your concern morphed into rage.
“What the fuck?” You put a palm over your heart, trying to slow down its erratic beating. “You guys are assholes!”
“Aw, don’t be mad, Y/N. It’s just a harmless prank.”
“Prank?” You screeched. “I thought you were hurt, you fucking prick. I thought you were gone—”
Theo’s expression softened when he saw your teary eyed gaze. “I’m not, cara mia. I’m not hurt. It’s fake, I promise.”
Mattheo kneeled beside you, licking the edge of the fake blade. “S’just corn syrup, sugar.”
Theo nodded in agreement, bringing his fingers up to his lips. He sucked his middle and pointer finger clean, his gaze never leaving yours.
“It’s sweet,” Theo murmured, brushing his thumb over your lips. “Do you want a taste, bella?”
You shook your head vehemently. “No, I’m mad at you,” you replied with a huff. Looking up at Mattheo, you crossed your arms and frowned. “You too, Mattheo.”
“Come on, sweetheart,” Mattheo drawled, laying on the sweet talk. “Don’t be like that. You know you love us, even if we’re a pain in your ass sometimes.”
“99% of the time,” you corrected with an eye roll.
“You cracked a smile,” Mattheo teased. “We’ll take it.”
“I’m still really fucking upset at the both of you.”
Theo hummed, slipping on the twin to Mattheo’s mask. You held your breath as Ghostface took his place.
“Oh, but I don’t think you’re that upset, bella.” The mask distorted his voice, but you could still tell it was him. “I think you enjoyed yourself.”
“Admit it, princess,” Mattheo purred into your ear, his mask firmly back on. “This turns you on, doesn’t it?”
You flushed, crimson flooding your cheeks. Theo trapped you against Mattheo, his hands settling on your hips as you gasped.
“Don’t try to deny it,” Theo whispered. “I read your book, dolcezza. The filth and smut in there… well, let’s just say it made us both blush. Who would’ve known that a sweet little thing like you would have a mask kink?”
“You stole my book!”
“So what if we did?” Mattheo said with a lazy shrug. “What if we memorized all the depraved things that you love reading about just so we could turn your fantasy into a reality?”
“What are you saying?”
“The more we read, the more we realized it was pretty similar to Scream. Anonymous phone calls? Check. Masked men? Check.” Theo hummed as he brushed his thumb over your bottom lip. “Pretty helpless victim? Check.”
“We wanted to act out your book,” he continued with a smirk. “With one exception.” He held up a video camera and focused it on your face. “Mattheo and I thought that since you don’t have a favorite scary movie, maybe we could help you make one.”
“I think we’ve just about reached the climax,” Mattheo whispered in your ear, his curls tickling the side of your neck. “What happens next is up to you. What do you say, little mouse? Do you wanna play?”
“Yes,” you breathed.
You didn’t even need time to think about it. You trusted Theo and Mattheo with your life. Putting yourself at their mercy was something you shamelessly fantasized about countless times.
“We hoped you’d say that,” Theo said with a smirk as he looked at you through the lens.
Without warning, Mattheo gripped your chin roughly and lifted his mask up just enough to crush your lips together. He tasted like cinnamon and cigarettes and the smoky taste left you dizzy. You wondered if it was the nicotine that had you buzzing, but you were pretty sure you were just high on Mattheo. His kisses were deep and sensual, exploring every inch of you with a level of hunger that couldn’t be satiated. The low groan that rumbled through his chest made your core throb.
Mattheo dragged your hand down his chest, smiling into the kiss as your nails raked over his abs. The hard muscles flexed underneath your fingertips, distracting you momentarily and allowing him the opportunity to slip his tongue deeper into your mouth. You gasped as he guided your hand to his hard length.
“You feel that, princess?” Mattheo grunted. “That’s what you do to me. I’m so fucking hard it hurts.”
You batted your eyelashes up at him. “What can I do to help, Matty?”
“On your knees,” he commanded. “Let’s give Theo a show.”
Theo positioned himself in front of you as you sank down to your knees. The camera whirred while he zoomed in on your face.
“How do I look, Teddy?”
“You look perfect, bella. You were made for the camera,” Theo praised. “Our little superstar.”
Mattheo hummed as you unbuckled his belt. His warm brown eyes were nearly black with lust through the mask when you pulled his pants and boxers down, revealing his hard length. You massaged him in your hand, your mouth watering at how thick and long his cock was. Mattheo released a shaky breath when you licked the precum off of his tip, looking up at him with big doe eyes before you licked the underside of his shaft.
You watched as his head lolled in the mask, satisfaction coursing through your veins at the sight of him grappling with his self-control. Mattheo moaned when you took him all the way back, his cock stuffing your throat deliciously. You bobbed your head up and down at a steady rhythm, holding your breath while you continued pumping him in your hand.
“Fuck, just like that,” Mattheo groaned as he thrusted into your mouth. He fisted your hair in his hand and drove in deeper, causing you to gag. “You look so pretty gagging on my cock, little mouse.”
Drool dribbled down your chin and tears filled your eyes while Mattheo continued fucking your throat. Theo hummed in appreciation, making sure to capture all of your best angles. You made sure to show off for the camera and licked and sucked until Mattheo’s breathing grew short and ragged. You could tell by the way his abs clenched that he was close.
Mattheo yanked your hair back, his thrusts growing sloppy and rushed. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum. Swallow it all, sugar,” he purred as hot spurts of his cum shot down your throat. You did as you were told and slurped up every drop. You were sure that you looked like a hot mess; your hair disheveled, your eyes smeared with mascara, your lips dripping with cum, but Mattheo had never looked prouder. “That’s a good girl.”
“My turn,” Theo said as he handed the camera off to Mattheo.
You crawled towards him and tugged on his belt, but Theo shook his head. “There’s plenty of time for that later, cara mia. Right now, I want to eat your pussy until you cry.”
You couldn’t help but flush at the vulgar words, which made Mattheo chuckle. “I think our little mouse likes the sound of that.”
You didn’t have time to respond before Theo hauled you over his shoulder and placed you on the sofa. You bounced against the cushions, watching curiously as he spread your legs wide open. Theo raised the mask slightly and rested it over his brown waves before kissing you slowly.
“You taste so sweet,” he purred. “I bet your pussy is sweet like sugar too.”
From this vantage point, all you could see was the Ghostface mask. Theo tugged your panties off and discarded it over his shoulder. His cool breath fanned over your thighs as he trailed kisses between your legs. Theo took his time while he sucked and kissed and marked you up. You could feel his smirk against your skin when he finally reached your dripping core, his mouth hot and eager as he licked a stripe along your slit. You arched against his mouth, bucking your hips upwards shamelessly.
Mattheo filmed you at your most vulnerable state — eyes heavy-lidded, lips parted in a silent moan, and fingers threaded through Theo’s hair. Your moans encouraged Theo to drive his tongue deeper past your folds, licking and sucking and devouring you in a way that almost seemed reverent. When Theo added his fingers into the mix, you were out of your mind with pleasure.
Your pussy clenched as Theo curled his middle and pointer finger inside your walls. The soft pants and squelching sounds that filled the room was erotic, even more so as Mattheo filmed a close up of Theo feasting on your cunt. Your arousal dripped off his chin, but it didn’t deter him from driving you to the brink, his thumb firmly circling your clit to coax you towards release.
“Are you gonna cum for me, pretty girl?” Theo murmured. You gasped for air as he filled you with his fingers, pumping and scissoring until a familiar sensation began to build in your core. “You’re so fucking wet, bella. I can’t wait for you to cream my cock.”
The obscene declaration pushed you over the edge. The climax swelled within you until you were awash with blinding heat. Your surroundings turned fuzzy as your senses were overloaded with pleasure. Despite the intensity of your orgasm, Theo showed no signs of slowing down. He kept circling your sensitive nub and licking your cunt in slow, purposeful strokes through your peak.
You squirmed away, but Theo only held your hips down. “I’m not finished, little mouse.” He lifted his head, those clear blue eyes blown out and dilated. “Tell me, have you ever squirted before?”
“No,” you admitted truthfully.
Theo smirked. “We’ll have to change that.”
With that, he pried your legs apart and dove back in. Theo was relentless in his pursuit. He ate pussy like he had something to prove. You felt overstimulated with all the new sensations and reactions he was bringing out of you, but you didn’t dare tell him to stop. Every time you tried to crawl away, Theo yanked you by the ankles and spanked your pussy for misbehaving.
You were on your third orgasm when a pressure in your lower abdomen made you keen. “Theo, I can’t— I feel like I have to pee—”
“You won’t,” Theo reassured you. “Just let go, cara mia. I want you to squirt on my face.”
“Fuck,” Mattheo cursed behind the camera. “I want that too.”
Theo chuckled before speeding up his movements, fingering you rapidly until you were at the height of your peak once again. When he matched the rhythm with his tongue, you came with a cry. With tears streaming down your face, you stopped holding back the strange sensation and let go. You squirted all over Theo’s face, soaking him in your juices as he ate you through it.
“So good,” Theo growled as he kissed you, the taste of your arousal lingering on his tongue. “You’re so fucking good.”
You felt limp and boneless as he lifted you up and placed you in Mattheo’s arms. He cradled you against his chest and placed kisses all over your face, praising you for doing so well. You had no idea how much time had passed when Theo finally returned with a warm towel. He kneeled before you and brushed a strand of hair behind your ear.
“How are you doing, superstar?”
“Good,” you murmured as he cleaned you up. “Really good.”
“I think you wore her out, Theo.”
You shook your head. “I’m fine, I promise. I don’t mind. I can— I can go again.”
Theo chuckled, tilting your chin towards him. “Can’t get enough, can you?”
Mattheo hugged you from behind and kissed your shoulder. “She can take it,” he said proudly. “The only question is, which one of us do you want first?”
You glanced between Mattheo and Theo, biting your lip. A deep flush tinted your cheeks as they looked at you expectantly.
“You never could choose between us,” Theo teased. “Let’s make a game out of it then. You have thirty seconds to find a hiding place. Whoever finds you first, gets to fuck you first.”
Mattheo’s smirk was downright wicked. “Masks on.”
Theo nodded in agreement before they both slipped on the Ghostface masks. You swallowed thickly, utterly turned on by their twisted little game.
“How will I know which is which?”
“That’s the beauty of it,” Theo said. “You won’t.”
Mattheo leaned down, brushing his thumb over your bottom lip. “I’d start running if I were you, little mouse.”
“Run, bella, run.”
You didn’t need to be told twice. As the countdown started, you sprinted through the house and tried to find a place to hide. The living room was out of the question since the boys were currently occupying it. The kitchen was too exposed. The bedrooms too obvious. There was only one place in the house that they would never suspect.
As you crept down the basement, you held your breath. It was dark and damp down here, the rows of wine racks crowding you in as you ventured further into the labyrinth. You hated coming down here. It always gave you the creeps, which is what made it the perfect hiding place. As you slotted yourself between vintages, you hunkered down and prepared to wait it out.
When five minutes passed, you started to grow a little too confident in your choice. It would likely be the last place they checked.
How wrong you were.
As you peered through the racks, you heard the sound of metal clinking against the wine bottles. Two rows ahead, you saw Ghostface tapping his blade against the bottles as he searched for you in the dark.
You backed up as Ghostface prowled closer, hoping to lose him as you weaved through the rows. One second you were watching the dark figure check your previous hiding place and the next second he was gone. You swiveled around in confusion and tried to track his last whereabouts. You didn’t have to look very far.
“I guess I win,” said one of the boys. The voice changer was on again, so you couldn’t be sure who was underneath the mask, but that was part of the thrill. Ghostface backed you into the wall and cornered you until you had nowhere else to go. “I’ll take my prize now, little mouse.”
You gasped as Ghostface picked you up and wrapped your legs around his midsection. He unzipped his pants in a haste before lifting up your skirt. His cock teased your entrance and he murmured profanities under his breath as you watched him slowly push in. It was a stretch to even get the tip in and you took gasping breaths as his thick, long cock breached your walls.
“Oh fuck, s’too big,” you keened. Despite the lubrication charm he cast, it was still a struggle as he thrust in. “I don’t think it’s gonna fit.”
“We’ll make it fit,” Ghostface grunted. “You’re gonna take every inch of me like the good little slut that you are. Do you understand?”
Tears welled in your eyes, but you nodded in agreement. You were too cockdrunk to argue. Ghostface eased the last few inches in, causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head. You’ve never felt so full, so stuffed to the brim.
“That’s fucking right,” chuckled Ghostface. “Take it, little mouse. Take this fucking cock.”
You were nearly out of your mind when he pulled out and slammed back in. A choked sob escaped your throat. You weren’t used to being stretched so wide and deep. It felt so fucking good.
“Yeah, you like that?” mocked Ghostface. “Such an innocent face, but you love getting fucked like a whore, don’t you?”
“Yes,” you breathed. “Yes, yes, yes…”
A hand wrapped around your throat, cutting off your oxygen. You grasped Ghostface’s wrist and smiled as you did so. He might’ve taken off his rings, but you knew it was Theo.
“You’re so big, Teddy,” you groaned. “I knew it. I knew you’d feel this good. I knew you’d split me apart just like this.”
“Che cazzo,” Theo moaned as your pussy clenched around his cock. “How’d you know, bella?”
“You always burn your fingers when you get too high,” you explained. Theo watched as you kissed his fingertips and held his gaze as you sucked on his thumb. “I know you, Teddy. I know both my boys.”
At that, Theo fucked you even harder. His balls slapped against your ass with every thrust. There was something animalistic about the way he moved. It was like seeing a whole new side of him. You decided that you liked this version of Theo. The version that took what he wanted, when he wanted, and made no apologies for it.
“That’s sweet,” drawled Mattheo. You looked up to find him filming the whole thing. You had no idea how long he’d been there, but you were glad that he’d finally joined.
Theo smirked, his thrusts turning shallow. “You should let Matty have a turn,” he murmured. “He’s been waiting so patiently after all.”
Mattheo set the camera by the windowsill and prowled towards you. “That doesn’t mean I should get all the fun.” Theo set you down on shaky legs as you looked between your boys. “Who says you have to choose? You can have the best of both worlds, princess.”
Mattheo directed you to bend over one of the stools by the window while Theo positioned himself in front of you. “Be a good girl and suck Theo off while I fuck you.”
“Oh,” you murmured, your pussy wet and your head fuzzy at the idea of taking them both at the same time. “O-okay.”
“You’re our superstar, remember?” Mattheo teased as he smacked your ass. “So show the camera what you can do.”
The encouragement urged you on as you pumped Theo’s cock. He cursed in Italian when your wet mouth wrapped around him, your juices still covering his hard length. You began working him with your mouth as Mattheo mounted you from behind. The stretch made you moan. Theo gripped your hair in response and bucked into your mouth.
You couldn’t keep track of the pain and pleasure as Mattheo fucked you from behind and Theo abused your throat. All that mattered was that you felt full on both ends, floating on cloud nine while you were stuffed to the brim. Both boys worshiped your body. Mattheo trailed kisses down your spine while Theo massaged your tits.
Every now and then, Mattheo smacked your ass to demand your attention. He even bit down on your ass cheek when you got impatient and tried to grind down on him. Mattheo set a punishing pace as his fingers dug into your hips, marking your skin for days to come. You’d wear the bruises like a trophy.
“Wait.” Mattheo slowed his movements and Theo cocked his head as you looked up at him. “I want— I want to try something—”
”What is it, princess?” asked Mattheo.
“I want you both,” you whispered shyly.
Theo tilted your chin up. “Don’t get all shy on us now, bella,” he drawled with a smirk. “You can’t say you want to take us both and then get all embarrassed about it.”
Mattheo chuckled and patted your ass. “Theo’s right, baby. You need to own it.”
You cleared your throat, shaking off the nerves. “I want you both inside me,” you said confidently. “At the same time.”
The boys smiled as they slipped their masks back on. “Your wish is our command, little mouse.”
With a flash, the three of you apparated to the bedroom. Mattheo pulled you into his lap, stroking your back as he slithered in. Theo filmed you with the camera.
“Deep breaths, sweetheart,” Mattheo murmured. He sounded dazed and distant, barely hanging on to reality. You controlled your breathing and relaxed your walls, which allowed him to slip in easier. “Oh fuck, yeah, just like that…”
Behind you, Theo cast another lubrication charm and warmed your puckering hole up with his fingers. He took his time to make sure you were nice and pliant, soft moans muffled as Mattheo lifted up his mask and tongue kissed you. His curls felt like silk between your fingers as you continued to make out sloppily.
Not one to be left out, Theo turned your chin for a kiss that left you lightheaded before leaning over and sharing a dirty, filthy kiss with Mattheo. You watched as they made out, heat spreading through your veins at the sight. Just when you thought you couldn’t possibly get wetter.
Mattheo squeezed your hip. “I can feel your pussy clenching around me,” he said with an amused smirk. “You’re fucking filthy, baby. I think you’re ready for Theo, aren’t you?”
You nodded excitedly, flashing your doe eyed stare at Theo. “Please, Teddy.”
Theo smiled. “How could I say no to that?”
It was a tight fit. Tighter than you’ve ever taken before. You felt like you were being stretched to your limit as Theo eased his way in to join Mattheo. It was hard to get air in as you buried your face in Mattheo’s neck, gripping the sheets for dear life.
Theo pumped slowly, letting you get used to the sensation. Mattheo trailed kisses down your neck and shoulder, his tongue swirling against your nipple before he took it into his mouth. He massaged and licked and sucked while Theo picked up the pace.
“How does that feel, bella?” Theo asked.
“Really fucking good,” you hummed, your whole body vibrating with pleasure. “Don’t stop, Teddy.”
”Wouldn’t dream of it.”
When Mattheo began to thrust upwards, you started to feel lightheaded. Your head was in the clouds while your body experienced euphoria. “Fuck, fuck, oh my god…” you moaned. “So good.”
“Yeah?” Mattheo growled against your ear as he thrust in sharply. “You like being full of us, huh? You like letting your best friends split you apart like this, baby?”
“Yes, god…” you blubbered, tears streaming down your cheeks. “I fucking love when you’re both inside me.”
Theo groaned. “Merda, you’re going to make me cum.”
“Do it,” you breathed. “Please, please, I want you both to fill me up.”
“Merlin, you’re a fucking dream,” murmured Mattheo as he circled your clit.
Theo and Mattheo synced up their rhythm, filling you up simultaneously. There wasn’t a single thought in your mind besides chasing after your release. When you felt yourself getting close, Theo yanked you by the hair and turned the camera on all three of you.
“Give us the money shot,” Theo said through his mask. “Cum for us, little mouse.”
As Mattheo stimulated your already sensitive nub, you lost yourself to the climax. It hit you all at once. Your vision went fuzzy as you came with a cry. Mattheo cursed when you creamed him, triggering his own orgasm. You could feel him filling you to the brim. The only tether to reality you had left was Theo’s hands gripping your hips as the camera tumbled on the mattress.
Mattheo picked it up and filmed you getting railed by Theo, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as his thrusts grew rushed and sloppy. The camera captured Ghostface cumming inside of you before Mattheo panned down to where the two of them dripped down your thighs.
“Look at her,” Mattheo murmured in awe. “She’s our perfect little superstar.”
Your legs wobbled beneath you as Theo pulled off his mask. As gentle as possible, he scooped you up and cradled you into his chest. Theo kissed you softly, a smile tugging at his lips.
“Yes she is,” he declared proudly. “You did so well, bella. Let your boys take care of you now, okay?”
You nodded, dazed as Mattheo set the camera down and brushed your hair back. “Okay.”
As Mattheo got the bath started and Theo carried you over to the tub, you sighed in satisfaction. “Teddy? Matty?”
Both boys turned towards you, concern written all over their faces. It was sweet how much they cared, how they took it upon themselves to look after you. Even before tonight, the two of them had always been attuned to your needs. Just like now.
“I think I have a favorite movie now.”
The two of them broke out into matching grins. Theo carefully lowered you into the warm water before climbing in. Mattheo eagerly joined, sandwiching you between your two favorite boys and ending that night the same way it started. As Theo shampooed your hair, Mattheo wrapped an arm around your shoulder and kissed your cheek.
“If you’re good,” he drawled, a mischievous twinkle glittering in those big, brown eyes. “Maybe we’ll make a sequel.”
#this just kept getting more and more unhinged soz#theo nott#mattheo riddle#theo nott smut#mattheo riddle smut#theo nott x reader#mattheo riddle x reader#theo nott x you#mattheo riddle x you
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