#this is what sleep deprivation does to a person!!!!

[vikdec4i]

why did mordecai shoot viktor?

i wish i knew BUT we can always do what every fandom does: SPECULATE!!!

i have seen a lot of people interpret this as a very messed up, angsty, “i shouldn’t have been so infatuated with you and now i need to deal with my repressed emotions” goodbye. i do love this interpretation. THE FACT MORDECAI WAS WILLING TO ACCEPT VIKTOR HATING HIM FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES IS SO EUGH… IT’S CHEF’S KISS

or, simply, they got into a very heated and violent argument which seems very plausible as well!

BUT HEAR ME OUT…

what if viktor actually knows mordecai than we think he does. and that mordecai shooting him in the knees was his way of saying:

“I’m leaving and don’t even think about trying to find me.”

[mimocrocodilelol]

Creature

[the--firevenus]

That one world quest with cassadee where we try to help her realize that her idolization of merlin maybe not for who he is as a person, but rather what merlin represent.. Which is magic itself....

Anyways, take that concept and put it to when young mirael when she was still merlin student. In a sense, her adoration for merlin appear the same to cassadee idolization for merlin, and once merlin had said to young mirael; "are you sure you're adoring me for who I am or are you adoring merlin?" and for the longest time mirael was so sure what she likes about her mentor IS for who that person really is, not the title he carries, not what he represent as a whole. Merlin was mirael dearest and she so sure of that, so sure she looked for her mentor for 20 years...

Then she meet her dearest again, except... He's different. no longer the same person she remembers (and he doesn't remembers her)

So once again came in the question... Is it merlin she adore, or her dearest "mentor"?

[teaitis]

That Gojo booklet...

[sisyphean-metamorphosis]

[green-cinnamon-stick]

Louis De Pointe Du Lac: A Study on Memory

Okay this started off as me berating myself for watching "I Could Not Prevent It" before work. And devolved into revelations. So enjoy my sleep deprived ramblings. Spoilers ahead for S2.

Okay why the fuck did I watch this episode knowing I have a week of hell at work ahead of me? Because now I'm spiraling going through the tag on Twitter. There is SO much nuance added to Loustat. And after hours upon hours of the manipulation that is Loumand, to finally have Loustat again is driving me mad. Because we got them back but at what cost? This isn't them and because so much of Paris is laced with Armand, it's hard to tell what's real from what we think is real. Hell Armand said the very same. But I don't mean the obviously not real elements like the trial. I mean the times Lestat breaks character, but instead of adding to what Louis told us, it's almost a complete rewrite. Which brings into question how unstable Louis' mind actually is. Louis who is attentive and consistently praises Daniel for his memory. Daniel who is not a spring chicken and had a very serious drug addiction for almost a decade. The man whose memory shouldn't be as intact as it is. Why does he recall more than the vampire who's supposed to be better than humans. Yes time warps things but complete rewrites? Is Louis' brain and memory that fragile or is this more manipulation from Armand? Which also begs the question, how much is Armand doctoring Louis' memory? After the San Francisco episode they want us to believe if he can rewrite a week, he can do more. But what if he HASN'T done that much. What's Louis' actual mental decline and what's Armand? We also still have no explanation for Lestat outside of Louis potentially being schizophrenic...........holy shit I think I just answered my own question.

Schizophrenia is a genetic trait. I've been saying it's the trauma because I wrote off Paul as an anomaly in their family. But what if he's not? What if Louis' own schizophrenia was simply delayed BECAUSE of the vampirism. But time is catching up to him and the immortal blood can only do so much. "Law number 2: The Dark Gifts must never be given to the crippled." The law goes on to say it's because the gift should be bestowed on beauteous people as a laugh in the face of god. But time and time again we've heard it can't be given to children who are also considered crippled, because their brains can not handle it. It has nothing to do with beauty and everything to do with vampirism exacerbating issues. When Lestat made Louis he seemed of sound mind and body, and he was...because it hadn't started yet. And a vampire surviving brutal injuries in turn makes them stronger. Louis burns himself his first day. The fall was his first big recovery. Then the burning in SF. He's gotten stronger which keeps the decline at bay. But he's growing weaker living in that tomb of an apartment. Armand goes out but Louis stays home. Isolated.

He tried to break free with Daniel once. Here we are again and would you look at that...his memory is suddenly coming back clearer. Okay I need to sleep before I dig even deeper into whether or not I'm way off base or I've cracked the code.

[fellhellion]

sorry i need to expel the demon that is comicsverse thoughts from my head w a weirdly structured ramble ive been trying to articulate fdsjkfhkjds

-> miguel is initially alienated from his body post transformation - not just due to the nonconsensual nature of being spidered - but because he views the transformation as alienating him from a claim to humanity

-> however, the identity of spiderman and the ideals that represents seems to be in big part the means by which miguel reconciles himself to the nature of his physical body. not only do his abilities become naturalised to his understanding of himself as Miguel (rather than being thought of as alien) but they enable spiderman to be that force for good and change that miguel so desperately wants to see in himself

-> but miguel simultaneously depersonalises himself from his spiderman identity. he thinks of it as the better half of himself, as something almost ephemeral, that he doesn't quite have a claim to or is able to reconcile completely to Miguel The Human Being and all his associated baggage

-> and that's an interesting internal conflict to have when he simultaneously can never escape the lived reality of his own body and where it diverges from those around him, even as that lived reality eventually becomes something he can reconcile himself to far more easily

-> and what overhangs across this entire discussion is context of (and thus how Miguel would be influenced by) Nueva York's hypercapitalist society and thus the understanding and conception of your physical body in that lens. how much or little your body is owed by you yourself. the access you are told must be permitted to it by others/corporations. how the physical body is policed and politicised. the commodification of the body in the most literal sense via Vulture's cannibalism.

[araindropshallfall]

I’ve been casually rewatching some of the Lizzie Bennet Diaries and I was wondering why the vlog format doesn’t feel the same anymore and my god

it’s because they’re not selling me something every episode

[bleaksqueak]

Insomnia is letting up off and on, but I'm still super jelly brained from it case in point, I want to continue back with posting WIPs for the aired pages, but I can't remember what page I left off on now lmao (guess I'll have to dig through my blog to check... eesh. at least it's decently organized by tags?) Not a result of goo brain, really, but equally "AUGH" is that I let my screen protector go for too long without replacing it and now it's slick as snot and I don't have a replacement handy to put on it. This isn't a resulting consequence of goo brain but it does mean I'm going to be trying to draw without any traction while I'm already loopy. Good times ahead!

[acourtofquestions]

Possibly dumb fandom question of random nonsense: is Rowan vegetarian?

— If he isn’t… does that mean he eats all meat… including bird? … or is that cannibalism?😅😂

[feniksiara]

I caved. This is XFeni(wow such original name I know), my self-insert for XTale. God damn you voices in my head for making me actually post my art.

Yes this is the affermentioned OC I ship with XGaster. Have mercy on me I am but a poor, unstable mentally young adult on way too mamy meds. This is my way to cope ToT

This scene is very important in my head it has so much lore importance but I will not bore anyone with it that's it ok goodnight

[quietlyblooms-gone]

i’m home and getting ready to crawl on here… i crave tension and yearning and emotional vulnerability so let’s see what i can do hehe

[promise-you-doie]

how does brothers best friend sound? Slow burn, 30k words. (maybe that’s not slow burn but idccc) Fuck it i’m gonna do it.

[babsaros]

How did you know you were gay?

ah, couple reasons i guess. some that only became obvious with like 15 years of hindsight, and only after pulling myself out of the deep dark pit of compulsory heterosexuality.

like. classic symptoms of lesbianism include shamefully staring at the floor when you pass the women's underwear racks in the department store, even though you're not quite sure why you're uncomfortable. that sort of thing.

i have memories from early elementary school of accidentally glimpsing down a girl's shirt at recess and then bottling up that feeling and refusing to think about it. any time i had a crush on a boy, it was from an extremely idealized and safely non-actionable distance. the one time i did have a boyfriend, it was just my guy best friend from middle school, we dated for barely a school year before i ended it and the most physical intimacy i was ever comfortable with was holding his hand when we walked to class. i went to a different school's prom because a guy i was kind-of friends with asked me, and spent the whole night uncomfortably avoiding eye contact.

basically i started questioning my sexuality towards the end of high school, when i noticed myself getting like. jealous about my guy best friend's girlfriends?? like. i wanted to date them. i wanted to steal them from him lmao. i thought girls were pretty and soft and nice and cute and i was too afraid of being a predatory creep to do anything about it besides have far-fetched daydreams, but there was no heterosexual explanation. like, i hugged a girl i thought was pretty one time and it did things to my brain. that memory got locked in for life.

i identified as ace/pan early on, but again- compulsory heterosexuality. the idea of being with a guy romantically or sexually was never actually appealing. i had just been told that was what i was supposed to want my entire life, and the movies do a great job of selling that fantasy. but really i was just a lonely depressed helpless romantic teenager that wanted to be loved lol.

a large part of why i identified as asexual was because i was so sex-repulsed by the idea of penetration, honestly? (which i have since gotten over, but specifically Only with girls. the idea of having sex with a man still icks me out, and my preference is definitely femme-presenting ppl) a bit of it was probably also because i hadn't unpacked gender yet either. it made it very difficult to actually imagine myself having sex with anyone ever lol. this is gonna sound so cringe to say, but reading gay smut did awaken things in me.

in conclusion, tldr, i just like to think about tits and kissing women sometimes, idk. thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

[merrycrisisbr]

I just wanna have a fucking sleep schedule but it's so hard to undo the 14 years of damage my relatives did to me

[dandelions-and-white-wolves]

You can tell the exact moment I fell asleep while actively writing and my brain proceeded to predictive text the most rambling non-sequitur until my head fell and woke me up again.