#this is what my life amounts to
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I’ve already said it, I’ll say it again, Mal du Pays is such a visceral and clever word to describe Siffrin’s Sadness. When I first saw it in game it genuinely made me pause like. Yes, it translates to homesickness. But it has the literal word for country in it. “Country sickness”. For a guy whose core problem is that his childhood, his culture, his country is missing. One could argue it’s a twisted pun. I’m obsessed with it.
#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#isat siffrin#isat mal du pays#isat fanart#my art#in stars and time spoilers#isat headcanon#not done yapping: like you meet mdp at a point where the Big Problem is the loops and siffrin's fear of being abandonned by the party#and then Mal du Pays shows up and it hits you#thats the core of every fucking issue Siffrin has#his country and how it fucked everything for him#his bad memory making him forget too much and making him feel like a horrible friend and making him think that surely#hell also be forgotten#because hes a bad friend and a mess and is missing half of his fucking life#he holds onto the party with everything he has but also feels an infinite amount of shame about it because Hes A Bad Friend#hea so scared to forget whats important to him just like he forgot his past#just#ough
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I feel the need to share since my lube post is going around that my life is just like that since I worked at the sex shop. Sex Ed is a very standard topic. People just immediately pick up a vibe from me and even in situations where someone doesn’t know I used to sling dildos for a living they’ll just start confiding sex stuff to me.
Not in a creeper way. But like this weight had been lifted and they can finally talk freely about sexual topics. The energy I put off is just so blasé and accepting that people tell me about their sex lives, usually very quickly after meeting me. They usually then have a moment of panic or regret and apologize but I always reassure them that I used to work in a shop and that I see nothing odd about talking about it.
My go-to line is, “I’m a creature devoid of judgement.” They always laugh. Then the questions get more specific or people start asking for brand recommendations. It’s always been funny to me.
My beloved has always been a little confused by it. “People don’t just start talking to me about sex! I know you don’t bring it up. It just always seems to go there when people talk to you.”
“It’s just my energy.”
The first time I was meeting their mom she was coming to stay with us. We picked her up from the airport and brought her home. My beloved went upstairs to use the bathroom. When they came back down their mom was asking me questions about vibrators and their jaw hit the floor.
In our room later they said, “She doesn’t even talk to me about that stuff! She’s so embarrassed about sex topics, I cannot believe she was asking you about that!”
“What can I say,” I shrugged, “I’m a creature devoid of judgement.”
#ramblies#ffs foibles#funny#story#writing#they also note the amount of times I’m approached by strangers for random stuff#most recently was a woman looking for a hair model for beauty school#afterward my beloved was just like what is your life that people randomly come up to you#I’m getting an A+ in humaning
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"do the opposite of what people tell you to do"
#desert duo#grian#goodtimeswithscar#secret life#mcyt#trafficblr#favourarts#ok to tag as ship#so i posted this to twitter first right#and the amount of people i have in my replies saying that they'll kill themselves is honestly Very funny#anyways im back :))#i missed drawing these two GOD#okay life update in the tags for this piece is: something about finals season just makes you want to draw more#<- has been saying this for 4 days straight now#YAAAAAAYYYY i got another desert duo sketch cooking fellas and this one is a Bit more self indulgent if yk what i mean hehe#<- SEE U IN THE SIDEBLOG
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i am thinking how much poorer, how much less colorful the world would be if art was only made by "professionals." if all the music, all the stories, all the sketches & paintings & craftwork of the world was created only by the small category of people able to make a decent living from their art. imagine if the only people allowed to create were the experts & the renowned & those aspiring to the top. what a grey world that would be. how much joy would be bleached away! i love you people who create for the sake of creating, i love you artists who do art for tiny audiences, i love you people who make things even just for one person, even just for themselves, even if no one's watching, thank you thank you thank you for decorating the world in which we all exist
#not a shitpost#related: the most powerful crafters alive are crocheters who spend 7+ years making an intricate table cloth no one is allowed to eat on#all that arcane magic into making a display object primarily for their own enjoyment#and that of the blessed few lucky enough to be invited into their home to behold what is by rights a sacred object#if you spend a certain number of hours crafting something u have the right to have it put in a shrine or museum of your choosing i think#you have imbued it with your Life Essence by sheer force of concentration and obsession it is Holy now#anyways. old ladies who knit/crochet/embroider etc are a thousands times more powerful and intimidating#than old white dudes who are obsessed with war memorabilia or whatever#i have nothing but respect awe and appropriate amounts of fear towards crafters. my liege
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no way she's alive ?? yea those mental health breaks because social media makes people suck are wild huh
#star wars#clone wars#star wars fanart#ahsoka tano#captain rex#anyway i bring you this a) because i'm going back to my tcw roots of late and b) because i miss them terribly#as you can see because i can't handle reality i put her in the novel design#cause wdym they split up after order 66 haha what no that didn't happen you're crazy#read it however you want idc ^^)b any interpretation of their dynamic is the best one i think#yea anyway in this amount of time i've gotten a lot better at anatomy and i don't really care about social media anymore#but i have like nowhere to put my art now so *shrug*#star wars the clone wars#artists on tumblr#i've wanted to do one of those post-type drawings and i am .-+ too lazy +-. to color it sooo#signature got cropped sigh. whatever#if you see a mistake no you don't. you know the drill#also i finally watched bad batch season 3 around christmastime and hewiutgeh.#singlehandedly took the show from a 4 to a 10 for me so thx dave filoni we love u as always >>>#lowk kinda missed it here *gazes fondly at the bot spam and screaming and cursing in my feed*#btw i have never used instagram in my life so if this is formatted wrong it's your fault. bye#someone tell me whether or not i should tag this as rxsk because i am very much debating#does tumblr even like them anymore ?? i know ao3 does they're still going crazy over there (>1k works God bless)#“bro's first post back and she's yapping her head off” cmon you know me by now anyway can we talk about season 7 ahsoka#i find no fault in her. she is perfect. she is the greatest version of any star wars character ever at all#no i will not be thinking about whether or not anyone told her about fives. no i will not be thinking about whether or not anyone told echo#ok that's enough bye i'll wait for this to get four notes at most and three of them being comments screaming at me#one more thing uhh suspend your disbelief since anakin liked the post. rots didn't happen and everything is fine !!#my art
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one thing i love beyond measure is the fact i know that jason todd adores comfortable silences.
to have you sat together in a room, or tucked up in bed, both of you doing your own things, knowing the other is close by. theres no pressure for conversation. just a grounding reassurance that if either of you were to glance over, you’d both be there. to feel you in the room and know that that’s enough. to maybe have your foot pressed against his thigh, or for jason to have his head in your lap and neither of you share a single word.
to know above everything else that your presence brings comfort. and to be comforted by the knowledge that you don’t have to do a single thing to make him stay other than exist in his space. to know that you are someone who can exist in his space when so many others cannot. to have that concrete, solid awareness of trust and rest and endless love without words. to look at him when he’s in the middle of his own world and know that you are an incredibly important part of it.
to love him quietly and have that come back in equal measure.
#what’s that quote again?#to love and be loved is to rest#my social battery has been draining so quick lately#and not everyone in my life understands that#so the though of jason just existing in your space without the expectation of conversation#it brings and endless amount of comfort#jason todd x reader#jason todd fanfic#jason todd x you#ella writes
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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commit to making istighfar 1,000 times a day for 6 months. mark it in your calendar so you can track it. and see how much your life changes.
#I watched a reel on Instagram w a brother saying this#I was like idk if I’ll ever be able to reach that amount but I was so curious so I tried it#I didn’t always reach 1000 but I did make the intention#and subhanAllah literally 7-10 days after I began the challenge a duaa I’ve been making for months that felt impossible was answered#and in the most bizarre way subhanAllah#w Ramadan coming I can’t stress this enough increase ur daily amount of shukr#I’m trying to focus on astaghfirullah salawat on the prophet and alhamdullilah#bc my heart connects more w them#see what dhikr your heart is pulled to make and set a daily amount or dedicate a few min daily to them#truly life changing#the reel was by @rhyadmuslim for those interested in watching it
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I was just thinking about the fact that in so many Merlin fics, Merlin keeps being an healer/doctor/medic, which makes sense, since that’s how he started his life, by helping people however he could, but now consider this:
Merlin, who has lived so long and more than probably witnessed the deaths of thousands, even of those he loved, cherished and respected. So what if a millennia of life completely flipped his view on what it means to heal and study medicine. What if after all Merlin saw, everything that happened had the opposite effect on him, which means that he stopped trying and left the job to someone else.
Merlin still helps, surely, in the end, it’s in his nature as human, but we can already see how he changed, even only after ten years of being in Camelot and witnessing death after death.
What if he despaired because disease spread and not even his magic could help it, what if his magic decided that humans had to live with their own course of actions and so his magic simply refused to help them, which got Merlin just angry at the prospect of doing this for so many years.
But now take into consideration when Arthur returns:
I believe Arthur would be the healer/doctor/medic this time around.
He would be eager to help everyone he can, because that’s also in his nature, but since he can’t do it anymore in the way he once did, he has to find another path for him, a path that would make him heal too, heal from all the times he killed, instead of helping someone in danger.
Arthur lived a life of death even before Merlin could start to think about killing someone.
Arthur had his hands smeared with blood since he was a child. Being Uther’s son was automatically, in both magical people and peasants’ perspective, who lived under Uther’s tyranny, a sin and a guilt, even before Arthur could pick up a sword.
He did not just kill sorcerers, but he was raised with a mind of a killer of justice. To defend his kingdom, his father, his counsellors, his court and his people no matter what he felt regarding it, was and had always been his main duty.
He was trapped in a murderous cycle, literally, where he couldn’t do anything but raise himself to believe that the only way to help people was to kill them.
On one side, we have a man who spent his life helping people and who got tired of death, and on the other side, we got another man who spent it killing people and still got tired of death.
But to Arthur and Merlin it happened in different ways.
Where Merlin left the responsibility to someone else, Arthur decided to take that responsibility himself, in the hope that maybe, one day, he could bring back to life all those he had condemned for the simple act of living as themselves.
#this is just to say that to read an au with arthur as a doctor would be very great#he’s usually a ceo or someone with a certain amount of power which absolutely makes sense#especially if the fics are not canon compliant#but it would be great to navigate the idea of arthur still being himself of course#but trying to be better#and all of this by merlin’s side#me thinks it would be very neat#merthur#bbc merlin#merlin#arthur pendragon#merlin bbc#merlin x arthur#merlin fanfic#also because sometimes it happened to me to read of arthur coming back and becoming a cop#because that’s apparently the most similar job#which if we are watching merlin under a cop propaganda show#also makes sense#but if we are reading fics also under a reality perspective#it would mean that arthur is still part of that failed system that brings death upon people instead of life#so it would make more sense for him to be in the medicine field instead of a cop who is part of a system that cannot be changed#if not dismantled from its root and defunded#which now that I think about it would also make sense for arthur#usually in fics merlin is the activist or the one who goes against authority#true very true#but what if arthur slowly changes his mind and decides to take part in that too#in a life full of real justice instead of a pretend one#where he can actually truly help people like he wishes to do#and this is also just my way of saying ‘how cool it would be to have a merthur fic with arthur either as a paediatrician or a veterinarian’#ao3
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something quick to relieve the tension of these final hours ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
close-up, 'cause it got kinda lost in resizing:
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#i have been staring at this too long and have no idea what it looks like#but i only have a limited amount of time to post it in now oh gosh#(just as a warning i might turn the old inbox off tonight)#(just in case!)#(because while i would love to stay up until 3 am to play it immediately...alas. adult life makes fools of us all.)#(you will know when i'm done because my screaming will be audible throughout the world)#eyestrain
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any time I am asked to talk about any of my interests like a normal person it turns into a hostage situation
#you WILL listen to me (grips head in hands and stares into eyes)#my friends are forced into liking or knowing copius amounts of detail about things I like no matter WHAT#batman#danny phantom#spiderman#mob psycho 100#saiki k#chernobyl#garfield#bruce wayne#dick grayson#nightwing#saiki kusuo#billy batson#the disastrous life of saiki k#mp100 mob#shigeo kageyama#mp100 reigen#jason todd#red hood#batfam#I love talking about Batman lore for extended periods of time
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Today I smiled like like an idiot while at work because I was thinking about Edwin and Charles and I also just stress ate a box of chocolates because I was thinking about Edwin and Charles
#dead boy detectives#dbda#charles rowland#edwin payne#payneland#i love them a stupid amount#pretty sure this show altered my brain chemistry or something#i watched it and went all oh so this is what my life will be about from now on okay#save dead boy detectives
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KIM SEOKJIN + music videos ↳ happy birthday, kayla! @cordiallyfuturedwight 🤍🌼
(beautiful background art made by @kithtaehyung)
#kim seokjin#seokjin#jin#bts#btsedit#seokjinedit#gif#userdimple#userkelli#usersky#annietrack#raplineuser#rjshope#tuserandi#useremmeline#usermaggie#dailybts#userbangtan#underbetelgeuse#hi kayla!!!! this is nothing compared to what you deserves but i hope this brings a smile to your pretty face#firstly i want to wish you the happiest of the bdays i've found in you someone who truly brings me comfort and happiness#u since day 1 was the most adorable and lovable person with me#forever grateful to bangtan to bring me someone like you into my life#you deserves nothing but the best because YOU ARE the best#i love you to the jin (moon) and back 🤍 the prettiest daisy of my flower field 🌼#the amount of times i've listened to awake while making this was crazy#i'm so glad to have you in my lifeeeeeee aaaa#what a lovely day the 24th april#this is prob not in the correct timezone but i'm going to celebrate your day in any time 🥳#*smooching you*
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KEANU REEVES as TED "THEODORE" LOGAN Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)
#Keanu Reeves#keanureevesedit#dailyflicks#filmedit#*#bill and ted#bill and ted's excellent adventure#Ted Logan#me 5'4": i will pick him up#excuse me what breed of puppy is this#A PRECIOUS#FRECKLES#the amount of cute aggression that is currently consuming me is like a 45 on the richter scale#when you've lived in one corner of tumblr for so long you don't know how to tag things#this movie gifs super super well wow#can i have one of these for my pocket#it would make my life a lot better#THAT SMILE WOULD MAKE FLOWERS GROW IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SAHARA#his hair 😭😭😭
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—the mirror crack'd from side to side
#speaking my truth we dont talk about american accent redhead hannah NEARLY enough#coloring this took twenty years off my life.#and they still look like shit lmfao#putting a horrific amount of effort into the most zero note post youve ever seen is my specialty<3#hannah waddingham#gifs*#LOOK WHAT WAS IN MY DRAFTS LMAO
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@ballcrusher74 BOO MF!!!!!!😈😈😈😈
#sensitive sense is very funny i could've written that better#but overall i went insANE in the past like what 20 hrs or so and made a nutcracker yaoi comic#people do NOT appreciate the amount of beautiful eye content you can draw with nutcrackers#not my oc (fencer)#ITS NOT GOING TO MAKE SENSE BUT IN DRAWING THE LAST PANEL THIS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL MLP FANSONG PLAYED#AND NOW I CAN'T SEE THESE GUYS WITHOUT THINKING ABT IT N ITS FUCKING ME UP /POS/CONFUSED#Feed Me With Your Heart by Ponyphonic btw thats now how i imagine fencer sounding im so so sorry#on a last note i could not for the life of me figure out how i wanted Woodys jaw mechanism to look like#Fencer is more consistent just look at the pretty colors okay#lethal company#lethal company oc#fandom oc
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