#this is what dying feels like
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save me midol….. midol save me……
#god i feel like shit#also i’m having some weird side effects from my medication. this is fucked up.#this is what dying feels like#reymbles
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Netflix is blind I swear
Since we're all sad, angry, screaming, crying and throwing up, here's a list of the things we'll never get a chance to see bc Netflix decided to be a cunt and cancelled the show on the biggest cliffhanger known to human kind:
"I would've come for you"
"This is Wylan Van Eck. Jan Van Eck's son"
Jesper getting Inej back
All the crows together for an entire season
Not Crow related, but Zoyalai
"Is my tie straight?"
THE. ICE. COURT. HEIST-
"My darling Inej, treasure of my heart"
Kaz finding Inej's parents and literally having to hold her up when her knees weaken at the sight of them
Jesper going frantic bc Wylan (his now bf) has changed his entire appearence
Matthias calling Kaz a Demjin every two seconds
Helnik ACTUALLY kissing
#shadow and bone#six of crows#this is what dying feels like#no mourners no funerals#never stop fighting
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By now, there's lots of people have heard about the internal CDC memos for all newly prepared manuscripts (like future scientific papers waiting to be published):
There's so much to comment on, and I'm seeing it all right now. What the state of science is. What this means for the queer community. All of that.
But fuck, I think I might genuinely start crying over this. As a transgender biologist, this feels like a brutally personal blow. I slowly accepted my gender alongside my biology education. The more misinformation that was spewed about "biological sex" by mainstream media, the more my professors, colleagues, and primary sources would casually drop information that proved they have no idea what they're talking about. I'm not an expert on sex determination, gender, or transgender biology specifically by any means. But my worldview has been crafted by my studies in genetics and molecular biology.
Engaging with this research helped me demystify transition. It helped me optimize my transition. It helped me explain how HRT and other steps of trans healthcare work to other people. And it helped me overcome my own internalized transphobia, and finally start transitioning, despite knowing I wanted to since my preteen years.
Who knows how enforceable internal guidelines like this will be. But its certainly going to scare a lot of researchers away from transgender healthcare and science in the coming years, and that breaks my heart.
There's a lot I can say here, but fuck. I just needed to vent for a moment. Fuck.
#before this election#I had a backburner disillusionment with the current state of research and society#particularly in its impotence#climate scientists collecting data on a dying world and sending it to governments who do nothing#lab biologists generating more and more experimental data thats stifled from becoming real medical development by pharma and insurance#the events of the past couple of weeks have escalated that feeling a lot tbh#add it to the pile of reasons im leaving academia#i feel like i need to do SOMETHING with that feeling#but i dont know what#biology#transgender#trans#us politics
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Harmony Syndrome Part 5/5
The last chapter of my mlp infection AU! Thank you to everyone who followed along. Some final thoughts on my twitter @cracklewink if anyone's interested : )
#mlp#my little pony#mlp infection au#mlp infection#twilight sparkle#Sorry for leaving the ending open ended but I genuinely couldnt decide on just one way for things to turn out and I liked the idea of#leaving it open the most#in my mind sunset's final message is like we found a recording from the later days of the infection and we dont know what happened in the#end because the recordings stopped/ended#In any case I think they were able to put twilight and the others to rest#but who knows who survived the “final battle” and who didnt#also yes Twilight created harmony syndrome but not on purpose lol#it was the result of her botched attempt to create a spell that makes ponies immortal#obviously it backfired lol#and the irony is that twilight ends up dying before any of her friends#if they didnt want me writing my little pony horse tragedy they shouldnt have left mlpfim off on the note that all of twilight's friends#were growing old without her#ending thats been haunting me for five years#if anyones seeing this this is an open au btw so feel free to adopt any of the ideas if you like! : )#tw thanatophobia#thanatophobia
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itafushi nation how r we Feeling!!!!!!!!!!!
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP FOUGHT MY DYING PEN PRESSURE FR THIS#TH MEGUMI DROUGHT. OVER. CROPS WATERED with yuuji's tears#im a wreck im a gd WRECK#megumi nation itfs nation whatever happens from now on know tht tonight was a Victory#god there r more redraws i want 2 do . i need to like. calm down tho#im so emotional im shaking and my pen is on its last legs i dont think more is good for it#or for my hand#i feel her protesting GHGSD i did paint a lot of leaves today#YA SPEAKING OF . WENT FROM LA DI DA RELAXING SUMMER LIGHT ITFS IN2 THE MOST DEVASTATING/pos CH OF MY LIFE#what a day what a time to be alive#times like this make me so grateful i can draw what wld i do except scream otherwise#i have no words and i must Draw#anyway i dont have anything valuable or coherent to add just know that i am the human embodiment of a whole bunch of exclamation points#my brain is like bzzzzt my heart is like wowwww
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are. are you telling me that if the romanced mage warden dies and alistair is king, he deadass stares greagoir down over her dead body and grants the circle of ferelden its autonomy after ordering it rebuilt somewhere safer. first you have to deliberately leave him behind so he won't die for you and then he does that for you once you're gone, even when you're broken up??? absolute and literal king behaviour of the highest order????? the actions speak louder than words of it all??????? I think I hauve covid
#that's the hottest thing I've ever heard I feel nuts#what an absolute chad alistair continues to be tbh there may be a day when men fail but it will not be when he's here#like I'm very sorry to the blond chantry boy repeat crowd but cullen could & would NEVER!!! they are NOT the same!!!!#dragon age#dragon age origins#alistair theirin#alistair x warden#can u imagine what it must be like to be irving standing there watching this happen. you're free and your kid is dead. congrats#tried to free her from the circle and she's the sacrificial lamb that bought the circle's freedom instead. fuck dude#it does make for a very sad kind of symmetry that every time irving tries to get clever with it he triggers a monkey's paw situation fhdskj#I am replaying the game with my new canon (mistress amell + king alistair to save him from the da:i fade choice lol)#and in doing research I found out about this and had my world rocked. I've never had my warden die before so this is new to me#(my warden isn't dying in this canon to be clear she's going to be the reason no one would dare assassinate king alistair lol#nightmare bae eminance gris behind the throne/loving and supportive partner with a fade connection and a vengeful side#she's going to be like sam vimes tiredly fending off assassins as the watch books go on except she murders a lot more people back)#the way his voice breaks in the version where they were broken up tho... sick and twisted and mean to me specifically
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It is so, so important to me that people understand that Tim didn't figure out the bats because Dick was a "Show off". Like yes, Dick Grayson is the most flamboyant, dramatic ass man you will ever meet.
But the quadruple somersault? There's no way that was because dick was just showing off. Because you're telling me Bruce Wayne, who's so committed to hiding his identity that he literally acts like a completely different person out of the mask in public just to ward suspicion, would miss the fact that Robin regularly uses the flying Grayson's trademark move? There's literally no way.
In the comics we see Tim explain his deductive process to Dick and Alfred and they're both surprised impressed whatever. We don't see him explain it to Bruce. I think Bruce would be surprised and shocked that a 9 year old was able to put the pieces together but I don't think he'd be surprised that the quadruple somersault gave it away.
So if Bruce was possibly aware of such an obvious give away, why let it continue?
I'll tell you why.
It really comes down to the physics
So Dick was 9 when he started out right? That means the most he'd have likely weighed was 43kgs or roughly 95lbs in freedom units.
But Dick and both of his parents are gymnasts who tend to be smaller. So he was likely less than that.
In physics, rotating objects build up angular momentum (this is how bikes stay up right for example). The more rotation, the more momentum. And objects with less mass build up that momentum much faster than those that are heavier.
Robin constantly has to fight people who are nearly 3 times his size. I teach 8 year olds, they're tiny. A quadruple somersault for a small boy that weighs less than a hundred pounds is a brutal weapon. Especially if you add in the acceleration from gravity as he drops in from above.
And I can guarantee you this logic tracks because Dick literally utilizes this idea, without the somersault, in the 2009 teen titans cartoon.
Yeah, that's right. We're talking about the infamous knee drop.
Like it is borderline savage. Add in a quadruple somersault and the resulting force is nearly fatal. It's likely the main reason Batman would ever allow him to do it with the cape on.
Also, Dick landing feet first on the penguin in the first image probably gave the guy severe back issues
#I'm so tired of people giving Dick shit for being a show off#like he is for sure#but thats not what gave him away#it's strategic and practical#he's using the skills he already had in his repertoire to his advantage#also unrelated but#when Tim shows up to convince dick to be robin again#and has to explain how he figured it out#it was just after the arc where dick and bruce had to deal with tony zucco getting out of prison and nearly starting a gang war#pretty sure zucco dies sometime during it#but it brings up a lot of feelings for dick#which is the entire reason Tim finds him at Haley's circus in new york#then Tim immediately reminds him about his parents death again#and technically jasons too because thats his entire purpose for being there#point is#dick was going THROUGH it when Tim shows up#idk thought it bore mentioning#lena speaks#batman#tim drake#dc comics#robin#batman and robin#dick grayson#bruce wayne#nightwing#dc robin#dc analysis#a lonely place of dying#physics
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WE'VE WON
WE'VE LOST
#I'M NOT CALLING HIM THAT#I am simultaneously thrilled and crushed. is this what dying feels like#ace attorney#aai2#miles edgeworth#sebastian debeste#EUSTACE WINNER
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someone probably said this already but in spiderverse i think it's interesting how when pavitr was first introduced everyone thought something bad was gonna happen to him bc of how confident and optimistic he was. and then in the actual movie we see that something bad was supposed to happen to him (police chief dying!) but it doesn't! miles stops it! and miguel berates miles for this, says it's going to cause the universe to collapse or whatever.
there's this idea that tragedy is inherent to spidermans growth, and while it's true that some spiderpeople learn important lessons through loss, no one stops to ask, is it really necessary? yeah, maybe the chief was supposed to die. but why does spiderman have to be formed through tragedy? why do we (as heroes) have to let people die? pavitr didn't lose anyone, and he's still a good spiderman! maybe, if he doesn't suffer, he'll end up better off for it!
so while miguel is arguing for all this big picture stuff about saving the multiverse he's lost sight of what it really means to be a spiderman, he's not looking out for the real individual people. yeah it's just one person who would die, but that one person means something to someone. shrugging and saying "stuff just sucks sometimes, we can't do anything about it" is the opposite of what superheroes do. pretty obviously, miles arc is also a reflection of the struggles people face in real life, working within unequal systems, where it's easy to shrug and say "that's just the way it is" and not ask "but why does it need be this way? can't we do something about it?"
miguel is arguing that you can't have your cake and eat it too. presumably, miles and co. are going to find a way to get around that and change things for the better (and maybe that's why miles has that line about two cakes in the advisors office!)
#across the spiderverse#across the spider verse spoilers#break from my regularly scheduled trigun posting for spider posting#i'm actually kinda eh on the idea of the canon and police chiefs dying it is not my favorite plot point#but like any sane person i love spiderverse so#actually still think i like the first one more but wroaw much to think about#spiderverse#atsv#.lieii#i only watched the movie once so hopefully this is all accurate#i feel like this is all really obvious my point was like#pavitr being an example of a spiderperson who is still successful without going through all these awful things#and you think despite all this stuff about the multiverse how does he feel about the chief being saved? hes probably rly grateful right?#i mean maybe something terrible will happen to him in the next movie but. yk what im saying#.lieii txt
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i see this jason todd who actually looks his very young age (instead of the 30yr old man that comics like to portray)
and feel my heart breaking just imagining bruce beating him up, almost killing him, mind-breaking him, and just overall being a total piece of shit father towards him.
a huge chunk of the reason why people don't view bruce's actions towards jason as abusive or wrong is because jason doesn't look his age. he's drawn to be this 35yr old father of three who looks even older than dick (and way too on par with bruce) that people see their fights as one between batman and any of his regular rogues. when they fight, it just looks like batman is fighting a man his age and not an actual young person. it doesn't look like batman is fighting his son who's barely even drinking age (and who def wasn't drinking age in utrh). their fights are portrayed in a way that eliminates the very real power struggle between them.
this applies to jason's entire character as well. a lot of people don't sympathize with how he died or his actions as robin or his fights with the other bats because he doesn't look his age. he always looks older and scarier than everyone else. tim has many sympathizers from the titans tower incident because jason just looked like a grown man fighting a 12yr old (even tho i disagree, tim was built and like 17 lmfao).
anyways, i just wish comics would actually draw jason to look his age, which literally ranges from 19 to early twenties. he's young- so young, and it's so annoying to see him drawn and written as someone older than even bruce.
#the way everyone in jason's robin run saw him as this adult despite him being 12-15#like what the fuck#just because a child has experienced more than the average adult doesn't make him any less of a child#it's like the typical groomer thought process#if jason was shown younger in arkham knigjt for example there'd be less people calling him whiny#they showed 15yr old jason's torture scenes like he was a 25 yr old#he should've been shown as the small child he was#it would've put more perspective into how cruel and fucked it was of the rogues to torture a literal child#and then bruce almost killing him in rhato...#now imagine if jason looked his age there#honestly this all just feeds into the idea that jason feels too small for his big body#imagine being this tiny kid growing up and then dying and coming back to life as this tank#arghhhhh!!!!!#jason todd#red hood#batman#jason peter todd#bruce wayne#jason todd deserves better
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'Strong opinions about femininity and masculinity' moment
#kazuichi souda#mahiru koizumi#Kazukoi#What's their name...?#sdr2#super danganronpa 2#an art#Anyway. Mahiru stans women and Kaz is....not NOT a woman maybe he doesn't know it's kind of a huge mountain to scale#Mahiru is like. Aw jeez. Calm down I'll do your makeup and dress you up maybe then you'll feel better#I think! Mahiru is just a big sis in general to everyone. If you're a MAN she refuses to be your servant#But if you're anything else or if you're just generally nice. She likes the role. Patron saint of women-in-progress#Like washing Hiyoko. Girl has a problem literally taking a shower? No problem I'm on it. Dress her? Sure.#Never really GOT mahiru thanks a lot to her dying first. But I like the her alright#All this to say: I hate gender i don't get any of it it's intriguing but it doesn't grab me i wish it wasn't so huge
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been thinking about the sinnohtrio lately......plus misc other stuff
also, casual ko-fi drop!! get something in this sketchy style starting at $10 woop woop
#finally decided to do a commission test run u_u#pokemon#trainer lyra#trainer kris#trainer dawn#trainer lucas#rival barry#rival silver#ayalumi#hisuian zorua#luxio#timeskip tag#rkgk#anyway it's sinnoh time !!!#still figuring out their designs and lore but this works for now#god's specialest little guys & their very normal bestfriend who they would kill/die for. up to interpretation who is killing/dying#dawn is the platinum protag who meets giratina and becomes champion#distortion world affected her way more than compared to cynthia and cyrus since she's still a developing kid. but hey cool ghost hair!#4-5 yrs later lucas gets blasted to hisui..lost his memory for the three years he's there and when arceus sends him back he's just like Man#the entire time barry is CHILLING PLAYING HAVING FUN#and forever worried abt his friends ): dawn & lucas are soo nonchalant about what happened to them it's a bit concerning to everyone else#design comments umm the only thing that matters is that they still have their og scarves 👍#and i guesss these are spring/summer outfits. winter dawn gets leggings and big coat ok. she already has too much yin energy#btw i use the cleanse tag as the direct opposition to the spell tag even tho that's probably not a real thing LOL)#oh yea barry wears the tower master ribbon 24/7. tower tycoon in training and won't shut up about it (i love him)#character dynamics i will talk abt that in another post if i feel like it... these days i just want to go replay pla aughh
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[ID: SVSSS fanart of Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge. It's the scene from volume 1 where Liu Qingge is having a qi deviation. He's on the floor, face and clothes splattered with blood. Shen Qingqiu has a hand on his shoulder, and smiles as he says, "You're too hot- I mean too young to die. We should be friends now." Liu Qingge scowls at him, angry and confused, thinking "wtf" repeatedly and with question marks floating around his head. /end ID]
this is basically what happened i think
#really funny how this is like. the lqg introduction scene. can you even imagine what hes feeling rn#anyway this is kind of a study of the original drawing idk#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#shen qingqiu#liu qingge#nik art#misc#the specific part im making a joke of is when sqq says “a beauty fading-- ahem‚ dying so young” like shut the fuck up loser jdhjdskk#liushen#<- I GUESS
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hits them with the yuri beam
#enstars#femstars#natsumugi#shumika#hiyojun#listen i still feel like 60% uncomfortable with genderbends as a trans person myself#but they're the exception because a) they're trans-coded to me anyways and b) they also hold yuri potential#i have my reasons it's what i'm saying so don't engage if you're gonna be weird abt it#anyway you can tell what types of ships i like huh#you can't take bassist mugi out of my dying hands if you even tried#doodles
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I'm not allowing anyone to forget that this panel exists
The pain in his whole body , the horror and fear in his eyes , his shaky weak breath and the fact that he's literally looking at his organs coming out from his torn stomach ,,
Truly disturbing
#school bus graveyard#Sbg#sbg (webtoon)#tyler hernandez#sbg tyler#he has been feeling like it burns#And he died so fast that he couldn't see how#HE NEVER EXPECTED TO SEE THIS#I don't know what's worse dying for good or being forced on waking up like “that”#Therapy for my kids NOW
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The absolute terror Curly must've been in upon realizing he was going to be hit dead-on during the crash and the dreadful agony that dawned when he realized he survived.
#like what is more terrifying than knowing you should be dead and just not dying#or feeling like your dying while being alive. i think anya understood#to have to be living through something you shouldn't and not being able to ask anyone to end it.#i like have a deep fear of losing my autonomy or agency so curly terrifies on that scale while Anya is hopelessly realistic to me and its#just so scary to be in a situation you cant just leave like you cant end just like id think I was in hell first if I was Curly vs alive#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing spoilers
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