#this is very incoherent like always

[domsaysstuff]

Season 2 of Russian Doll Steve Harrington-centric au

I have only some vague plot and just some scenes from the show down but I'll probably never write this and I need to get this out of my head so here we go! Another Dom's au idea dump! (I missed them)

Season 4 never happened btw but 1 through 3 did, also Eddie Munson never existed in Hawkins in this AU

Steve's mother is dying, Steve's mother is dying and he wishes he could feel something other than anger about it, he wishes he could be sad because his mother is dying but she hasn't really been a mother for him for a long time now

But she's dying and Steve still feels like the lanky teenager that observed and analyzed every breath of Cynthia Harrington to know why she hasn't loved him, or moreso why she loved him and yet it wasn't enough for her to care about him

He just wishes he had something to mourn a relationship that never was

She is dying and she's reaching out to Stevie after years of not talking after he packed his bags and moved with Robin to Chicago and haven't looked back since then

She wants him to come and he thinks it's cruel of her to want him there when all she's going to do is left him one last time

He is debating with himself whether to return to Hawkins or not when he takes his morning train to work

And that's when the time fuckery starts, he like Nadia becomes his mother(because we are keeping the gender fuckery that was Alan becoming his grandmother, like Stevie is just gender™ like that) who is very much pregnant, the baby is obvs him, unborn yet and they are in New York or some big city like that (for pain it could be Chicago and maybe Steve never knew she was born in Chicago, that somehow he followed in her footsteps) because Cynthia has always been a big city girl, it was Richard Harrington that wanted to move to Hawkins, to settle down there

When he figures it out he tries to change his fate, he thinks he is here to fix things, to give himself and his mother better life, one where she was happy, one where she maybe loved him enough to care

He knows he needs to leave, he packs her bags and tries to escape by taking the train and it just takes him back

He comes back to his apartment with Robin and spills everything to her, they have survived shit™ so she believes him, but tells him to not mess with time shit but he's determined that he can just fix it, fix everything

So he goes back and finds out that Cynthia is still with her parents, still to be married to Richard, he founds out that the escape did happen but she returned when she realized she was with a baby, has no money, no other people than her family that is pushing her to marry Richard since she is already carrying his child and she's so young, barely eighteen

She chicken out, so he tries other means and somehow somewhere there as his mother he falls for Eddie Munson, Eddie who he never heard of, Eddie who his mother never spoken a word of (his mother hasn't told him many things)

So he falls for Eddie because Eddie is so kind and free and different and he loves him, god he loves him, learns about his mother's past and it's all doomed anyway because the problem of Cynthia Harrington was that she was doomed from her birth and it's the same shit as in the show that every decision that Steve makes doesn't matter, they end up exactly the same anyway

Side plot is Robin taking the train and becoming her grandma and learning her grandma was the same as her, that she was queer, that she fell in love with Vickie, she falls in love with Vickie and it's a doomed romance, she comes back to her present time and learns that Vickie died just two years after Robin/her grandma met her and she tries to prevent that, she thinks she is there to prevent that, in the end she can't, in the end Vickie dies and Robin loved her god she loved her so much

There are obvs intermissions where Stevie and Robin are in the present together and talk and scheme and try to make it all right

Stevie like Nadia steals himself as a baby because he thinks he can raise himself better, that he and Robin can do a better job and the scene where Nadia gives Alan the baby-her and says think of all the things i could be if i was raised with love and as Robin holds baby-him "just what i was talking about" because Robin loves him and he knows she will love baby-him

Also maybe the rest of the party come to Chicago at some point because they heard the news and are there to support Steve and are sucked into the chaos but also meet a random baby and as Steve sees baby-himself surrounded by the party who even tho question from where the fuck did Robin and Steve have gotten a baby are taking care of it anyway

It's just- Steve finally learning his mother, gaining knowledge why she's like that, how she was before him, that him and her are quite similar, that they both loved Eddie Munson and lost him and it will hurt them for the rest of their life, Stevie coming back to Hawkins to say goodbye to his mom

Because he wouldn't chose her to be his mother but that's how the story goes and he knows her and understands her now and they both deserve to say goodbye

[thegreatyin]

while on the topic of iron posting. a very small very insignificant thing that i really enjoy is that nobody really harasses it for not speaking. and like. we don't know precisely why it doesn't speak. it could be because it's mute, it could be due to an unseen injury, it could just be a selective choice, it could be that it never bothered to learn human language to begin with, etc etc. but there's never been a scene (at least as far as i can recall) where mr iron is specifically called out or pressured or anything of the sort. not even by its own haters 4 haters coworkers. and yeah this is realistically probably because its an ESPECIALLY deadly space bat that could kill you six ways from sunday if you pissed it off, but also, y'know, sometimes it's really nice just having a mute character that's treated Normally for once

[gin-juice-tonic]

Not to get too into it, because to be honest I don't enjoy thinking about the bill book, but what with the panel being tomorrow/today it's on my mind right now anyway. So lets get a teensy bit into it.

The subject at hand: The giant back and forth block quote dialogues in the missing journal pages section.

I think we can all admit that's weird. To call it "significantly weird" would likely be a matter of disagreement, but it's definitely weird. Ford didn't write like that in J3.

But the thing about it is... It's not just weird in a vacuum.

It's weird and also paired with the context of the last however many pages before the journal ones having been essentially Bill's memoirs/biography/whatever.

Bill has been talking our ears off about himself for an entire book, and suddenly we get to these journal pages where it is for some reason of the utmost importance to quote every bit of dialogue Bill is delivering. It takes up several entire pages, over and over again. None of that was something that could've been paraphrased or otherwise condensed in some way?

While it is true that Ford had a lot of reverence for Bill pre-betrayal, I don't think it went so far as for him to feel he must record every word Bill said to him like this. (And continue to do so post betrayal as well?) Within Journal 3 proper, we don't even get a single quote in general from Bill until Ford details his time in the nightmare realm after his return.

I don't think Ford thought the journals needed all these direct quotes of Bill's in them. I think Bill does.

I think Bill's been screaming "pay attention to me!" for an entire book, and now you're gonna have to sit through his full set of remarks in these journal pages, because his thoughts and ideas and words are just that important. So important that he needed to insert them where they were never actually written down.

It could be that he genuinely said some of it, and wanted you, the reader, to 1) know that he said it and 2) know exactly how he said it. Some of it might be things he said but paraphrased or edited in that sort of "And then I said [xyz]" way people do when they tell stories. And maybe some of it he's just completely made up. I think there's probably a mix/assortment of all of these going on. But regardless of what of it is true and what isnt, I don't think any of it was ever in the journals.

.

Though I do admittedly have a stance on one "quote", and it's that Bill supposedly being the one who first said "Trust no one" has real "Yeah, I taught him that" energy. Like oh, I'm sorry. Ford's famous quote was actually yours first, Bill? The big quote central to the big mystery element of Gravity Falls and heavily affecting the attitude of the main character was one you came up with, not Ford? Sure, pal.

[meamiki]

a star being appeared in your apartment, wdyd?

(aka loop getting reverse isekaied into the modern office au)

also there are some scattered mumblings on loop in this AU under the cut actually in an rb now link right here if anyone's interested (spoilers for all of ISAT, including 2hats!)

[notsoftysof]

Okay I don't love the wedding episode and I have some questions:

First, who the fuck did they invite??? I get that they couldn't get the actors back (or didn't try), so Jared and Russ(+families) were out. But neither of them has that many friends? Brennan has the squints and some professional acquintances and Booth has the hockey team???? Maybe some old buddies from the army???? Fbi????? Their main social circle is the squints from Jeffersonian plus Sweets and Caroline. Did Booth just invite everyone who has ever worked with them? And then Angela saw the guests, realized that it wasn't going to work and made Brennan invite the squinterns so there were people for her there too?

Second, how much stuff did they loot from the Jeffersonian? Were there people in the museum when they went through the exhibits? Did Hodgins take the clothes off some mannequins?? Imagine you are there to look at the historical clothing exhibit (or whatever it's called) and some random dude comes up and starts to strip them? "Don't worry we'll bring it back later"????huh????

Also, the big meaning they try to put on the wedding is kinda dumb when the bride is Temperance "I don't care about marriage, I just love Booth" Brennan and the groom is Seeley "I finally don't have to live in sin anymore" Booth. They wouldn't give a crap.

[astraystayyh]

here is the essay that no one asked for because long for you is my fav hyunjin song and one of my all time favorite songs (it spoke to the yearner in me)

first the hauntingly beautiful melody 😭 as soon as i heard the whistles in the beginning i thought of the melancholic chirping of birds that feels like they’re calling out to someone who is far out of their reach, and it just sets the tone for this excruciating nostalgia throughout the song, for a time that has passed that we cannot go back to again.

at the beginning i thought this was about longing for a loved one but when hyunjin said that it’s about ‘missing your past that has lost its shine, and therefore longing for everything from back then’ the song just got more devastating for me, because (imo) this song is about longing for a past version of yourself that you lost and that you had to relinquish and that you never wished to part from, and hyunjin weaved this yearning for someone who technically doesn’t exist anymore so so well :,)

When was the last time we walked side by side

to me this could be about this kind of dichotomy that you feel within yourself when you can no longer recognize who you are and when you kind of lose sense of what you love and who you wish to be. And you no longer feel as if your past selves and your present ones are in harmony, walking side by side, but rather that your present self tries to go backwards to reach for your past self when the only possible trajectory for it is to go forward

In the faded photo, I come across a smile. Spread across a youthful face, overlapped with the seasons.

again with the longing for your past self, clinging to photos that have faded with how much time has passed and yet you still wish for the smile you had, long ago, to come once again. i relate to this so much because there was a time where i looked back to my old photos and i just missed how smiling came so easily to me back then instead of feeling like a chore. a smile that once withstood the changing seasons, but that is now a simple memory

The night’s so cold that it’s almost unreal. I wake up in another silence, and I close my eyes

hyunjin and the loneliness that only manifests at night :(( just like in cover me he manages to perfectly convey the cold and daunting feelings that come with being lonely,, also the act of waking up and closing your eyes right after, as if you wish to wake up in any reality but your own

The white flower we planted together has bloomed. I do not dare pick it. Now it withers away

OHHH this one had a little (huge) kick to it, this verse is just so poetic and so full of emotions im unwell :(( white often symbolizes purity and beginnings and its referencing to a time where your existence wasn’t tainted by anything, to the very beginnings when everything was well, back when you had enough will and happiness to care for something, to plant a flower. and now that flower has bloomed, but you do not dare to pick it because it is the last string tying you back to that time you longed for, so you leave it there, afraid that once you’d touch it then you’d soil it with everything that makes up your current self. but by doing so, the flower withers away, and i feel as if this last line plants a seed of hope, of light in a very melancholic song. that by longing for the past and forgetting the present all you do is harm the flower, harm yourself. that you shouldn’t forget your present self while reminiscing the one that faded away

So I long for you. And I long for you. And I'll long for you. So I can keep loving you. So I could be loving you. And morе.

THIS PARTTTTT!!!! this is The Part that gave me goosebumps and brought tears to my eyes,,, hyunjin’s vocals throughout the song were so mellow, so soft, so tender to hear, yet so melancholic at the same time. but this part. THIS PART. this feels like floating atop the pool on a warm summer afternoon and you are hit by this wave of nostalgia for a moment that has yet to pass, because you know that you will miss this instant right here, and that you might comeback to this exact same pool next summer, and the one after it, but things would have inadvertently changed AND IT’S SOOOO 💔💔💔 especially the part where the music quiets down and all you can hear is his voice and then THE VIOLIN PICKS UP and it feels as if he’s tugging with my heartstrings and he’s harmonizing with himself and it’s all so HEART WRENCHING in the most beautiful way, like this is the embodiment of yearning.

i got carried away but as for the lyrics this part also makes me wanna cry and weep because it’s so full of hope?? of moving forth?? instead of longing for who you were and letting it hinder you, you long for who you were and behold it as a compass to love your present self, because past or future you are you, and if you loved who you were at one point of time, if you were at peace with who you once were then you can and you will love who you are now too. and i’m so 💔💔💔 also him harmonizing with himself ties it all together like the only person you got is yourself and it reminds me of THE PAINTING 😭😭😭😭😭😭

yes this isn’t over yet. the painting. The Painting. THE PAINTING. hyunjin hugging himself, burying his face in the crook of his neck i am too sensitive for this. i am no art expert but i am always at awe of the way hyunjin plays with colors and lighting and shadows, even if you aren’t well versed in paintings you can still feel the emotions hyunjin wants to portray and it’s all so.. special to me. all his works deserve to be hung in an art exposition

also i feel like this cover painting is the continuation of the one he shared some time ago, they look very alike and the color scheme resembles one another

i just love how hyunjin writes and produces and draws the covers of his songs like 🥹 i’d never tire of saying that he is the embodiment of art

[apuff]

thinking about love in danger days

this is part of my conspiracy theory that that album is aroallo, but i've always gotten the sense that romance and romantic attatchment is much less important to danger days than any other mcr record. with bullets&revenge it's quite obvious as the demolition lovers take up like, everything, and the black parade has a heavy focus on a romantic relationship as well. 

while i do think there are lines in it that are romantically coded, there is a definitive lack of emphasis on it- like it's nowhere in the plot at all. 

i do think danger days represents a very familial type of love though. while other albums visit a sense of "i want you, i need you, i miss you, i hate you,", this is more like…"i love you, i want to protect you, i'm sorry"

i find this especially strongly in s/c/a/r/e/c/r/o/w:

"Nevermind about the shape i'm in, I'll keep you safe tonight"

"love, love, love won't stop this bomb"

"run, run, bunny, run"

and other songs: 

"i'll find you when the sun goes black"

"just save yourself and i'll hold them back tonight"

"how long until we find our way in the dark and out of harm"

relevant things i can't cover with just quotes are planetary go, oft-theorized to be about party poison and kobra kid, as brothers, leaving battery city together; sing, about the killjoys' last message to the girl while saving her; goodnite dr. death, phrased as him saying goodnight to children; and summertime, which i can't discern the meaning of but seems more like a family type of love. 

i think it makes sense that danger days is like this, seeing as it features main characters that take care of a child main character as opposed to main characters that love other main characters of the same age/ability. 

another thing i noticed while re-listening to the more sentimental songs for this essay is that there's just a distinctly different vibe to it. So much of it is focused around wanting to protect people, keep them safe and out of danger (<- ha that's the name of the album) and loved. i think this also makes sense, because the killjoys live a very, well, dangerous life without much security, and they'd want to provide what they lack the most. another semi-related thing i noticed is just how much of an emphasis there is on childhood in this album. i feel like there's a vibe of youth or teen-hood throughout the earlier ones, but this is just VERY strongly about kids. again this makes sense cause not only are the killjoys teenagers (a type of kid!) they also have a proper little kid to watch. 

also, i wonder how much of this stuff was due to gerard becoming a parent. just something to think about 

[ducktracy]

i've been in a very "nostalgic for SpongeBob" mood lately and that's warranted a lot of reflecting on Baby Me being a Sponge fanatic and thinking of what she'd think of now. and i have to say that one of my favorite parts of doing what i do--and also the most stupidly niche--is that one of my first online hyperfixations i recall having was SpongeBob production music. i remember animating magical girl transformations in Flipnote to SPONGEBOB MUSIC. i remember feeling so smart researching all the songs and getting to hear them without any dialogue on top. very gratifying to 11 year old me. i was and am still very fixated on production music, and so i always get very excited when seeing uploads of these songs and spotting a screenshot of a scene i worked on among them. one of my favorite aspects of watching episodes premiere is seeing what music they added on top of scenes i touched. it's just neat how many facets my thankfulness for Doing What I'm Doing gets to reach. i'm never not thinking of how grateful i am to be doing what i'm doing

[wonder-worker]

“Studies of Elizabeth Woodville […] have been hampered by the continuing fascination with her brother-in-law, Richard III. The Ricardian [and Yorkist] apologetic is now largely dependent upon the argument that the Woodville family posed such a threat to Richard of Gloucester, and the kingdom as a whole, that Gloucester had little option but to take the throne from his Woodville-dominated nephew. Although this argument has [irregularly] been contested, a reassessment of the queen's role in 1483 has not yet been attempted. Michael Bennett, in his 1987 account [...] still dismissed her as `an inveterate intriguer, capable in her vanity and fecklessness of some remarkable shifts and turns'. But more often she is scarcely mentioned in general histories of the period.”

-J.L. Laynesmith, “English Queenship 1445-1503” (thesis for the degree of DPhil in Medieval Studies, University of York, Centre for Medieval Studies, April 1999)

[hinamie]

do u have any tips for uhh idk art term....highlight and contour but for art? specifically w digital art? w pencil and paper it feels super intuitive but then when i switch to digital it looks all flat.............

(is it shading? idk what im doing tbsh)

(also hope ur doing well i feel like im crawling into ur asks every two days or smth looking for art tips sorry T_T)

(yuuji comic made me cry so hard btw)

hi rin!!!!!!! that wld be shading/rendering yes hgbhgfjs there’s no One specific term tho so ur all good <3 also omg re: the yuuji comic IM SORRY I KEEP MAKING U CRY GHJKGJDSGHKJ its ok i made a lot of people cry if the death wishes/pos in the tags are anything 2 go by so ur in good company :D i teared up also

i would Also like to apologize in advance because fr me this is one of those Art Things that becomes more intuitive the more u do it so i am a bit. lost as 2 how to explain but i will sukuna voice ganbare ganbare !!!!

it’s all about light sources babes so pick a direction where the light is hitting from and use that as your main point of reference. If u need to remind yourself where the light is coming from i was taught to draw a lil arrow or sun somewhere on your canvas 2 keep track . areas closest to the light or planes that are more Elevated will be brighter than areas farther away or Deeper. When u think of a face, the forehead and cheeks rest Higher than fr example, the eye sockets, so those areas will catch more light and appear brighter. it /is/ kind of like makeup in that way. 

also, shadows/highlights can have soft or hard edges depending on how . uh . intense, i guess?? the angle of the light is. like with a box vs a sphere, the former will have a lot more Cut and Defined areas of darkness because the plane where light hits is cut off more directly by the presence of a corner, whereas with a sphere the Slope means that the values follow more of a gradient. 

tbh tho if you’re still starting out, to practice light sources and shading it actually might be good to scribble and shade some 3D shapes and spheres/boxes or maybe even draw from life so u can really take time 2 pay attn to how light catches different surfaces . it’s boring work but the practice is never wasted !! lighting can be tricky so try and take the time 2 form Good habits :'> references r ur friends here now more than ever.

other than that, which i feel more or less covers the basics n fundamentals, my wisdoms 2 u and any1 else who will have it: INVEST TIME IN2 FINDING GOOD BRUSHES omg i feel like a lot of that New Artist Look (tm) comes from using default brushes —which on its own is fine, but the kicker is not taking time to get comfortable with how to make the best use of them. the fun of the render is getting to play with textures and colours so find some brush settings that help add a bit of personality!! also . resist defaulting 2 the airbrush tool to shade it Rarely cooperates and can muddy a piece. uhhhh what else what else try not to shade with black for the same reasons ???? i'm scraping the bottom of the barrel here but i hope something here was of any value :'>>

[peridots-pixiwolf]

[Start ID. A drawing of @mieczmaszyna 's character Izzy. In the words of its creator, Izzy is a humanoid robot with a white chassis, oval head, black headset, square green glasses, claws, and a tail resembling a cable plug. Ai wears a cowboy hat, vest decorated by a star and bottle cap, pants with tassels, spurred boots, and a red bandanna. He's viewed from the side, kicking up one leg and holding both arms out in front of itself to shoot finger guns, looking excited and rather jaunty. The background is a dull yellow-green, muddied by the warm reddish tone of the drawing, and in paler green are the words "BANG BANG!!" by ais arms. End ID]

robot cowboy!!!

[devotedlystrangewizard]

the school arc to me is so good because it drags ciel out of his position as a powerful figure and literally places him in the shoes of the person he could have been. the circus arc ALSO drags him out of his position as big bad queens watch dog/head of the phantomhive estate but the school arc feels like a mockery of a future that never was. this is what he could have been had his parents not died. and even then its NOT because he will never be that kid.

he never was.

[katierosefun]

oh there's something particularly painful about my mister in that dong hoon tells ji an that as long as no one knows, it's no big deal, and there's something particularly painful about how ji an tells dong hoon that sometimes, i want [my secret] to play out on big screens for everyone to see, and there's something particularly painful about how the second dong hoon meets the loan shark tormenting ji an, he starts screaming and yelling about how she's just a kid, how could you do that to a kid, and there's something particularly painful about how dong hoon doesn't even let ji an know he did that, but ji an knows. she knows because she was listening in the entire time and she just starts crying because someone actually knows this ugly, sad part of her and still took her side, and something particularly painful about how my mister started with as long as no one knows, it's no big deal but really concludes with there is so much risk in having someone know who you are but there's also so much comfort and peace to be found in that, too and maybe you shouldn't isolate yourself and maybe you should reach for that kind of comfort in being known and loved anyways

[ollylotl]

I WANT TO HEAR YOUR DAKOTA N VYNCENT THOUGHTS SO BAD please tell me about them.....

oooh dakota and vyncent…, where do i start. i warn you i don't normally do like. character analysis writing type posts? so please excuse if it's bad.

they have perhaps the most strained relationship out of the prime defenders. but that's not necessarily a bad thing. it's really compelling. they're very similar but also very different at the same time. and maybe this is why they can sort of grate against each other sometimes, but is also why they are such good friends who can rely on each other.

vyncent grew up living a life that, while not necessarily comfortable, he was familiar with. he was happy and he had a support system in the greats and his parents. that got ripped away from him very suddenly and he got dropped in the deep end of a world entirely unfamiliar. meanwhile dakota (from after his parents death onwards) had a very difficult childhood. he spent many years without a support system - his parents gone, his aunt struggling herself and not able to care for him as he needs. but he's had time to learn to deal with that. rockfall/new haven is where he's grown up, and he knows it like the back of his hand. so they're both struggling but like in opposite ways? where vyncent has been okay for most of his life but now he hasn't had a chance to adjust, while dakota's been going through it for longer but that means he's been able to adjust and is familiar with the rules of this world.

they also have opposite ways of coping with bad things / tackling their problems. dakota shuts down. vyncent lashes out. dakota is determined to never take a life. vyncent comes from a world where fighting to the death is normal. dakota not only trusts, but idolises heroes. vyncent has been nothing but let down by them and doesn't trust them at all.

i think about that scene in season 1 so much where they're at mark's house, and tide has been taken, and dakota's just shut down. vyncent starts yelling at him because he's lost everything he had in this world and can't afford to just stop like that. it's just the perfect example of how their opposite experiences and coping mechanisms cause them to clash.

more extremely, when william gets killed. dakota completely breaks down, while vyncent starts attacking even more furiously. then vyncent is like. almost pleading (? you could say? not sure if thats the word) with dakota to just get up and fight because he can't do this alone. he can't do this without dakota. he couldn't have done any of this without dakota.

but in perhaps the more simple ways, they're quite alike. they're the epitome of dumb teenage boys. i mean, they'll just break into a duet on the train. they goof off together - the shopping cart race, that one scene in the gym in season one.

so. like. they lean on each other. they both don't have much to rely on. but they have each other. i think vyncent was probably, even if its a large part subconsicous, feeling betrayed when dakota left over the s1-2 timeskip. likewise how dakota felt betrayed over the bino and mark thing / mal amulet / belltech, etc. etc. but they stick together. no matter what they go through they get out of it, and they get out of it together.

so. okay apologies for taking so long to say so little. essentially what i like most about dakota and vyncent's friendship is that duality of relying on each other both out of necessity and because they're the only ones who really get each other, and also having the energy of like. "hey bro how many slices of pizza can i fit in my mouth at once. hey bro bet you cant backflip off of this building. hey bro let's do a karaoke duet of breaking free from high school musical"

as vyncent himself said in late season 2. they're brothers. (falls over and sobs)

[technicalknockout]

which The character are you thinking of

take a guess (it's tko. it's literally always tko and im so unwell about that)

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

Me: I don't know what to do with Veronica's character in post s8 au, I don't want her to be Just Lance's sister and Kuron's friend with Pidge's storyline slapped on her, but also I'm not really sure about her character. Sure there's the whole lying to her family thing but I don't think that's enough?

Brain: ok so what if Veronica started out as trying to look for what was Lance upto but she ends up being so obsessed with finding the truth that not only she repeatedly puts herself in harms way but also the original goal falls on wayside.

This could be her way of dealing with trauma which is getting engrossed in the Mission and a problem to fix while suppressing her grief and refusing to actually acknowledge her problems and her own emotions a foil to Kuron's arc that is him being literally driven by emotions. She's angry at Lance for leaving without a word and angry at her family for their clinginess, however she keeps it to herself and just avoid them pretending everything is fine and normal

Also a foil to Lance who started as trying to figure out what was going on but as soon as he realized that 1) Allura and Kuron are still sorta alive 2) he can bring them back, he got obsessed with it consequences by damned.

Plus through her we can actually explore how quintessence actually effects and changes humans rather than become aware of the end result

Also there's something a character who is obsessed with truth but is also such a frequent liar