#in this show feel more and more relevant
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katierosefun · 1 year ago
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oh there's something particularly painful about my mister in that dong hoon tells ji an that as long as no one knows, it's no big deal, and there's something particularly painful about how ji an tells dong hoon that sometimes, i want [my secret] to play out on big screens for everyone to see, and there's something particularly painful about how the second dong hoon meets the loan shark tormenting ji an, he starts screaming and yelling about how she's just a kid, how could you do that to a kid, and there's something particularly painful about how dong hoon doesn't even let ji an know he did that, but ji an knows. she knows because she was listening in the entire time and she just starts crying because someone actually knows this ugly, sad part of her and still took her side, and something particularly painful about how my mister started with as long as no one knows, it's no big deal but really concludes with there is so much risk in having someone know who you are but there's also so much comfort and peace to be found in that, too and maybe you shouldn't isolate yourself and maybe you should reach for that kind of comfort in being known and loved anyways
#caroline talks#my mister#if this is incoherent. it should be#rewatched the first 2.5 episodes of my mister last night#felt like crying my eyes out the entire time tbh!!#every time i watch this show there's just something about it that hurts me more and more and there's something that makes the messages#in this show feel more and more relevant#idk. thinking a lot about when ji an talks about how sometimes she wishes. sometimes she wishes#that everyone knew what she'd done and what had been done to her.#something about how ji an can't ever bring herself to connect truly with another person because of how much she hates#the feeling of people realizing what her past looks like#and not wanting to withstand the pity and also horror. like. okay.#something about ji an sobbing by the bridge when she listens to dong hoon pummeling that loan shark guy#and how i used to always cry at that scene but now i tear up just thinking about it#because you know! there's that shock (that firstly: someone knows your miserable secret. and secondly: they're still on your side)#and then absolute heartache because you don't know what to do with that information. you didn't expect it.#you're sobbing at a bridge because someone knows who you are and someone knows the scars of your past and still gets angry and sad for you.#and you still feel like you don't deserve it because you know deep down you are not a very good person (or so you tell yourself).#and. oughough. lee ji an holds such a place in my miserable little heart
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kimdokjas · 4 months ago
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We are alive. And we will continue living. So long as you remain by my side.
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thebramblewood · 9 months ago
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Exciting news: I now have a story page and a characters page! They're pretty basic at the moment, but I'm hoping to think of some fun stuff to add later. For now, you might find a few new nuggets of insight in the character bios! I just wanted a cute little hub for readers new and old to find everything they need in one place. Let me know if you think anything (or anyone) major is missing or if you notice any errors. Here are all the character portraits. Aren't they cute? And thanks to @buglaur for the incredibly easy to modify template!
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peridots-pixiwolf · 11 months ago
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[Start ID. A redraw of the official icons of the ten named slugcats from Rain World, arranged in two rows: Survivor, Monk, Hunter, Nightcat, and Gourmand in the first, Artificer, Rivulet, Spearmaster, Saint and Enot/Inv in the second. Each is drawn in roughly the same pose as in the original art and fitted with speculative interpretations of their biology, and the second image is a “dead” version of this. For example, all ten have slug-like rhinophores in place of ears, cuttlefish-like colorful eyes with strangely-shaped pupils, cephalopod-like beak "teeth", expressive barbels or oral tentacles at the corners of mouths, spiny radulas, and the frilly mantle fringes of sea slugs, though otherwise their faces are squishy, simple and mammalian-shaped.
Cream-colored Survivor and yellow Monk both share triangular, bicolored spots matching their eyes (which are tan and brown, and two shades of blue, respectively), small, bumpy fringes, and relatively neutral looks on their faces. Defensive-looking Hunter is mostly a dull orange-pink, though their blobby fringe is a more violent red and their back is purple and marred with lumps. Nightcat is navy blue and flecked with dots of yellow and teal, their rolled rhinophores are a lighter blue, and their shading fractures into stars in some places. Gourmand is almost uniformly tan, their wide, very ruffly white mantle fringe bordered by a spray of white spots, and their beak sticks out from either corner of their smile. Primarily red Artificer, snarling, has yellow markings of multiple sorts, a prominent yellow dewlap and their characteristic dark scar taking out a chunk of its face. Rivulet is a darker blue than usual, with long barbels, red gills and rings, countershading, and a cheerful expression, sticking out their radula. Spearmaster is purple with orange accents, eyes and spots, a large fringe and spines down their back. Saint’s green caryophyllidia are marked by small, yellow diamonds, and their long, thin radula extends far below them. Enot is decorated with mottled red stripes, blue patches, yellow stars, and an uneven and almost cartoonish imitation of blush, though generally the same deep blue as Nightcat, a passive or almost slightly smug look on their face and their rolled rhinophores out to either side.
In the second image, nine of the slugcats’ eyes are crossed out, indicating that these are death icons. They look fairly the same, with mostly expression differences. Survivor is caught in the beginning of a threat display, a karma flower sprouts from Monk’s side, Hunter is burdened with overgrowing, purple and blue rot, Nightcat’s rhinophores are pinned back, and Gourmand looks mildly disheartened. For the final row, Artificer bites its radula between small plumes of smoke, Rivulet drops their expression, Spearmaster looks very startled, Saint looks almost entirely the same besides half-open eyes and their markings greater in number, and Enot grins confusedly. End ID]
If you'll excuse the unusually lengthy ID: the arena meme introduced by @pansear-doodles at long last after a nearly year-long wip status (or, rather, finished a month ago today to honor my own first time playing it!)
Design notes and shout-outs under cut! :]
The following people are some of those who’ve inspired my designs most since I started this eight months ago (or just inspired me to get a little weirder with slugcat biology), among many others for sure, and I thank them for it–but this is simply to bring attention to artists I find cool, and in no way an obligation to interact or anything :]
> @saturncoyote , @carpsoup , @charseraph , @gallusgalluss , @bitsbug , @dopscratch , and @0hmanit (and a special mention to dddeerbo and hunterlonglegs, who’ve since deactivated)!
Survivor: Surprisingly the hardest to pin down the colors for, since nothing with its sibling's palette seemed to match up right (I did have to add in a little blue somewhere for Monk, the beginning of making it clear how much I’m simply going based off of vibes for the colors of scug innards). I consider them, Monk and Gourmand to be part of the same gene pool of slugcats, and even possibly the same colony even if the latter isn't really related, so took a bit of Gourmand's coloring and fit them in with their inspiration: Goniobranchus verrieri. They serve as a bit of an introduction to my ideas of scug traits (i find it really fun how many people have thought to add so many silly sluglike fixtures of biology completely independent of me, buuut here I’m mostly talking about species variation), and like in-game they’re pretty average! They, Monk and Hunter have a couple scars sourced from a piece of Joar's concept art that I'm failing to find, those across the bridge of the nose, under the eyes, and across the rhinophores, respectively, and my Survivor interpretation features many on the back of the neck, as a result of survived lizard bites.
Monk: Their coloring is primarily based off the fact that I associate them with blue fruits, honestly, a bit because I was compelled to establish a familiarity with Rivulet, and lastly inspired by the spots of Goniobranchus kuniei (and geminus, less important to me as one of my characters is a kuniei instead, but more fitting). Between the yellow + blue and the circular marking in the center of their face, they’re meant to bear a little resemblance to an iterator that shares similarities with the characterization I’ve given them, and similar coding of her sibling can be seen on Survivor’s markings around the eyes. As both a “default” slugcat and one whose campaign I haven’t played, though, I can’t say I have much more to point out about em.
Hunter: The whole rot thing made for a really fun time drawing them, and while the color change on their back is a result of this, it’s also an excuse to relate them to Babakina festiva, arguably my favorite sea slug (mostly for sentimental purposes). And to Spearmaster, a fellow messenger slugcat, and it serves as a gradient between Hunter’s pink and the “traditional” color of Rot seen in the DLLs. Aside from their affliction, they’d actually be the plainest in terms of design, as they don’t have any patterns or quirks of body type, just the red + purple and strange lumps + possible malnutrition. I can’t remember if NSH had created them in particular or just...caught + released or something, but it probably wouldn’t be strange for a lab-grown slugcat to be simple like that.
Gourmand: Like the two above, they’re rather plain in terms of coloring and adaptation, and like the two above, I find that fun. I decided it would be nice to avert the “all slugcats being of the same body type, and Gourmand’s out of place as the exception” thing by just...adding more fat to all of them, really. I did want to emphasize their sheer bulk even so, both fat and muscular (not like I couldn’t have still gone further with it, of course, but slugcat anatomy can be a little obfuscating sometimes, and they were intended to look rather plush considering personal size headcanons and therefore the lack of proper gravity), and the thick and flounced mantle looked like a good addition, as per their sea slug Glossodoris hikuerensis. Unlike Survivor and Monk, I didn’t attempt to hold their resemblance to any particular other character (which means a little less to balance out the “default gene pool” thing), so those are all the design notes I have for em.
Artificer: The second slugcat I’ve ever played, or finished the campaign of, my favorite for at least a long time, and the first thing I did was give them yellow accents, the shape of which have troubled me slightly (not quite like the spots or stripes of the others). They’re both a little more appealing and more explosive-looking to me, and considering how early on I played Arti, actually present in some of my older art. It does give them a little resemblance to Saint (completely intentional, two slugcats with strange relations to karma), as well as the fact that its radula is green for familiarity with one of its children (at some point it was going to have all-green markings, even!). I’m generous with their scars, partly because it was fun to overemphasize the one on their face and partly because it does seem like a reckless slugcat, on top of the dangers of its explosive abilities–I’ll probably just keep adding more forever. Mostly-red sea slugs aren’t too common, but Hexabranchus sanguineus works for sure. The ridged, yellow dewlap can expand for combustion purposes, or something along those lines. Arti’s where I began experimenting with a lot of the mildly-offkilter features seen in my interpretation of slugcats, as they’ve once again been a favorite from the start.
Rivulet: I've obviously given other slugcats spots, deeply enjoy the bubbly-soda markings of other peoples' slugcats, and thought seal riv would be cute. Despite not too closely resembling it, they've been government-assigned Hypselodoris bennetti, for color reasons and for a couple sentimental ones. Originally, the colors of every scug were meant to match up with the custom colors I gave them at the beginning of their campaigns, (though Arti, Gourm and Spearmy are the only three who actually apply here, since I've only played through half the slugcats: I gave arti the yellow as mentioned above, gourm brown eyes and spearmy light pink spears, furthered by the outskirts pearl accompanying me and that palette all the way to moon. Tolerance training for eternity in hell cause I already knew about the maroon pearl quest). I initially gave them the colors of the bi flag for fun... but with the limited palette of this image, I was left without pink for a while and decided to see how they'd look in red. I then realized how they now wonderfully matched Moon, and besides, red's a sort of camouflage in deep water! As a side-note, the difference between their eyes and those of others always bothered me a little for anatomical purposes, and the cephalopod eyes were probably influenced by this!
Spearmaster: Inspired as much as possible by @notyourfunnyman ’s wonderful spearmy: designed in a way that helps it fit in with scavengers, at least between the long sensory tentacles, big ruff, back spines and slightly thin/distended anatomy, a form of defensive mimicry. I always had annulate rhinophores in mind, for a little diversity sure, but mostly because the shape reminds me of radio antennae and communication towers (seems fitting for the comms array and being a messenger slugcat)! I started searching for a real-life slug to give them just by looking up their rhinophore shape...and was met immediately and coincidentally with annulate-topped nudibranchs that fit them more perfectly than I could've imagined: Flabellina and surrounding clades, I think Paraflabellina ischitana works very nicely. The orange was completely unplanned, but there wasn’t a place for light pink among the other slugcats’ palettes, and importantly it likens them to both Hunter and Seven Red Suns a little more.
Saint: I am very much a non-furred slugcat enjoyer, with respect to those who aren’t, so figuring out the only visibly furred slugcat was an interesting challenge. I’ve decided that they likely have other, milder adaptations for help in the cold, mainly just more efficient fat storage, and what looks vaguely like fur is instead a bunch of tubercles (called caryophillia, for the second reminder out of three). Their inspiration doesn’t have these, however, Miamira sinuata’s numerous yellow and blue spots (not to mention...whatever’s going on with that shape) and general effect of being the only really green nudibranch I could find were probably perfect for a strange green echo. Not pictured, but their beak-teeth are tiny and flat to make a surface for grinding soft food against with the lack of a functioning radula, which is tipped with a specialized spiny “grapple-hook” for better traction/grip (not to mention the numerous little teeth running down the whole thing).
(Best part of hiding this under a readmore means edits will be seen by all reblogs, I'm mostly sure, because I completely forgot to mention! The spots on their forehead are simple eyes. Their camera eyes appear closed in-game, I like to believe their complex eyesight is rather poor anyways or otherwise reason that they aren't seeing out of those, and while this was far from her REASON for attunement with the world, it does help compensate for mainly viewing it through a canvas of simple light and dark. This, and the fact that their swapped-out "fur" is not only to commit to a lack of hairs but contributes to sensory input!)
Nightcat/Enot: I guess you could say I found the “these two are technically the same person” compelling. (E.g. similar colors, both very strange and enigmatic, and Enot/Inv/Sofanthiel’s remark during the dating sim about getting removed from Arena Mode.) I doubt they’re the only two slugcats in their body, considering humans with DID tend to have more than a few (and I find it very funny that a slugcat bearing resemblance to Nightcat appears in Gourmand’s ending. They’re allowed in the colony and Enot isn’t </3), and I have to credit @faelingdraws ’s art for being what convinced me on it! Their design inspirations come down to trying to balance a few different ideas: making the patterns and palettes of both look oddly similar (special mention to the stars, since those are fun to draw), basing them off of Felimare sechurana and juliae respectively, using blocks of color with the same placement as in Enot’s official art, and specifically making Enot look...biologically reasonable and imperfect, whilst also clearly trying to imitate human displays of emotion (what with...the eyes and blush on that one piece of official art).
Lastly, here’s just a lineup with notes on body shape and size. Most of the nicknames (existing to give a little more space, that’s all) are obvious, and while I can’t remember why I shortened Nightcat to Nox, it is in honor of my friend by the same nickname :]
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#survivor rain world#monk rain world#hunter rain world#nightcat rain world#gourmand rain world#artificer rain world#rivulet rain world#spearmaster rain world#saint rain world#enot rain world#slugcat rain world#rain world#peridots-art#< feels like too long since that last tag's been used. i can say with certainty that the majority of the reason i haven't been just as#active here (not to mention not drawing as often since that's relevant) is just due to my life getting busier with a new school year but i#do miss putting my stuff here! and would like to reblog more on top of that.... so forgive not remembering exactly how to tag everything#(and how to write everything up there but to be fair it's not like long textposts were a staple of mine. i mostly just rambled and it was#fun hehehe.....some of those notes (parts of riv/spears mostly) were written around the beginning of the drawing itself)#OH i messed something up with the drafting and really did not mean to post it while tags were in progress! but regardless. i would've liked#to post it tomorrow to mirror how i was going to post it on JAN 29 a month ago......but it's not like i'm unhappy with this outcome :]#to sum it up really though it's been strange working on this for so long.....unfortunate to not get a chance to let it be seen and keep#experimenting with odd biology much earlier but i'm just glad it's out now cause i am proud of these!! it's been a lot of fun and slugcats#are still my go-to doodles :] if i had to end this off promptly though what's up with that secret pipeyard shelter as gourm that's not on#the maps. connected to vs_a04. doesn't appear on the miraheze or interactive maps for anyone strangely but i've only been there as gourmand#anyway! i'm sure there's a lot i could've said in the rush but goodbye dear reader anyway :]#i forgot spearmy initially. i'm so sorry#peridots-described#< NOOOO THAT DOESNT SHOW UP THERE'RE TOO MANY TAGSS.......
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maya-caffrey · 2 months ago
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can we bring back procedurals? or at least just proper shows like how TV used to be? 5 to 15 seasons, a generous amount of episodes per season, 45 minutes: the sweet spot between too long and too short, pilot episodes that are wildly different from the rest of the show, filler episodes that overall contribute nothing but are extremely fun because that is what god intended, random musical episode, crossovers, waiting an entire week in anticipation to see what happens next, like, this was the PEAK of television, where did we go wrong
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skrunksthatwunk · 6 months ago
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actually i'm still thinking about the moral orel finale.
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he has a cross on his wall. do you know how much i think about that bc it's a lot.
a lot of stories ((auto)biographical or fictional) centering escape from abusive/fundamentalist christianity result in the lead characters leaving behind christianity entirely. and that makes complete sense! people often grow disillusioned with the associated systems and beliefs, and when it was something used to hurt them or something so inseparable from their abuse that they can't engage with it without hurting, it makes total sense that they would disengage entirely. and sometimes they just figure out that they don't really believe in god/a christian god/etc. a healthy deconstruction process can sometimes look like becoming an atheist or converting to another religion. it's all case by case. (note: i'm sure this happens with other religions as well, i'm just most familiar with christian versions of this phenomenon).
but in orel's case, his faith was one of the few things that actually brought him comfort and joy. he loved god, y'know? genuinely. and he felt loved by god and supported by him when he had no one else. and the abuses he faced were in how the people in his life twisted religion to control others, to run away from themselves, to shield them from others, etc. and often, orel's conflicts with how they acted out christianity come as a direct result of his purer understanding of god/jesus/whatever ("aren't we supposed to be like this/do that?" met with an adult's excuse for their own behavior or the fastest way they could think of to get orel to leave them alone (i.e. orel saying i thought we weren't supposed to lie? and clay saying uhhh it doesn't count if you're lying to yourself)). the little guy played catch with god instead of his dad, like.. his faith was real, and his love was real. and i think it's a good choice to have orel maintain something that was so important to him and such a grounding, comforting force in the midst of. All That Stuff Moralton Was Up To/Put Him Through. being all about jesus was not the problem, in orel's case.
and i know i'm mostly assuming that orel ended up in a healthier, less rigid version of christianity, but i feel like that's something that was hinted at a lot through the series, that that's the direction he'd go. when he meditates during the prayer bee and accepts stephanie's different way to communicate, incorporating elements of buddhism into his faith; when he has his I AM A CHURCH breakdown (removing himself from the institution and realizing he can be like,, the center of his own faith? taking a more individualistic approach? but Truly Going Through It at the same time), his acceptance (...sometimes) of those who are different from him and condemned by the adults of moralton (stephanie (lesbian icon stephanie my beloved), christina (who's like. just a slightly different form of fundie protestant from him), dr chosenberg (the jewish doctor from otherton in holy visage)). his track record on this isn't perfect, but it gets better as orel starts maturing and picking up on what an absolute shitfest moralton is. it's all ways of questioning the things he's been taught, and it makes sense that it would lead to a bigger questioning as he puts those pieces together more. anyway i think part of his growth is weeding out all the lost commandments of his upbringing and focusing on what faith means to him, and what he thinks it should mean. how he wants to see the world and how he wants to treat people and what he thinks is okay and right, and looking to religion for guidance in that, not as like. a way to justify hurting those he's afraid or resentful of, as his role models did.
he's coming to his own conclusions rather than obediently, unquestioningly taking in what others say. but he's still listening to pick out the parts that make sense to him. (edit/note: and it's his compassion and his faith that are the primary motivations for this questioning and revisal process, both of individual cases and, eventually, the final boss that is christianity.) it makes perfect sense as the conclusion to his character arc and it fits the overall approach of the show far better. it's good is what i'm saying.
and i think it's important to show that kind of ending, because that's a pretty common and equally valid result of deconstruction. and i think it cements the show's treatment of christianity as something that's often (and maybe even easily) exploited, but not something inherently bad. something that can be very positive, even. guys he even has a dog he's not afraid of loving anymore. he's not afraid of loving anyone more than jesus and i don't think it's because he loves this dog less than bartholomew (though he was probably far more desperate for healthy affection and companionship when he was younger). i think it's because he figures god would want him to love that dog. he's choosing to believe that god would want him to love and to be happy and to be kind. he's not afraid of loving in the wrong way do you know how cool that is he's taking back control he's taking back something he loves from his abusers im so normal
#i had a really big fundie snark phase a year or two ago so that's part of like. this. but im still not used to actually talking about#religious stuff so if it reads kinda awkwardly uhh forgive me orz idk#maybe it sounds dumb but i like that the message isn't 'religion is evil'. it easily could have been. but i think the show's points about#how fundie wasp culture in particular treats christianity and itself and others would be less poignant if they were like. and jesus sucks#btw >:] like. this feels more nuanced to me. i guess there's probably a way to maintain that nuance with an ultimately anti-christian#piece of media but i think it'd be like. wayy harder and it's difficult for me to imagine that bc i think a lot of it would bleed out into#the tone. + why focus on only These christians when They're All also bad? so you'd get jokes about them in general#and i think that's kinda less funny than orel and doughy screaming and running from catholics lsdkjfldksj#i think the specificity makes it more unique and compelling as comedy and as commentary. but that's just me#like moralton represents a very particular kind of christian community (namely a middle class fundie wasp nest)#you're not gonna be able to get in the weeds as much if you're laughing at/criticizing all christians. but they accomplish it so thoroughly#and WELL in morel and i think that's because it chose a smaller target it can get to dissect more intimately. anyway#moral orel#orel puppington#(OH also when i say wasp here i mean WASP the acronym. as in white anglo-saxon protestsant. in case the term's new to anyone <3)#maybe it's also relevant to say that i'm kindaaaaaaaa loosely vaguely nonspecifically christian. so there's my bias revealed#i was never raised like orel but i like to think i get some of what's going on in there y'know. in that big autistic head of his#but it's not like i can't handle anti-christian/anti-religious media/takes. i'm a big boy and also i v much get why it's out there yknow#christianity in specific has a lot of blood on its hands from its own members and from outsiders and people have a right to hate it for tha#but religion in all its forms can be positive and i appreciate the nuance. like i've said around 20 times. yeah :) <3#(<- fighting for my life to explain things even though my one job is to be the explainer)
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hellfiyre · 11 months ago
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thinking about how adam was the first human soul in Heaven bc what the fuck happened to Abel. did he go to hell (for some reason?)
like what happened there. he was the first human to ever die so like would the theories saying Eve is the first person to enter hell be therefore incorrect? Because Adam and Eve had another son to replace Abel, Seth. Eve did not die first.
idk i have gripes and confusion about that stuff.
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leafatlaw · 22 days ago
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Sorry still thinking about Derap after that stream and- “Do you care about me or mapicc more?” Because what a stupid question, you shouldn’t ask people questions like that and expect an answer. It’s rude and hurtful, it’s only going to make everybody feel worse, because there is a wrong answer here, at least for Derap there is.
Because Derap probably cares about Zam more than anyone on the server. He cares about Atlas more than anything on the server. And he’s scared. Deraps a smart guy, he knows abit of how much Zam cares about Mapicc, he knows abit of their history. He knows just enough to know Mapicc is a threat to how much Zam cares about him. Like I’ve said in another post, Deraps really only got Zam, and he knows this, hence why he keeps testing him and quizzing him on everything. He’s trying to force Zam closer to him. He wants Zam to care about him as much as he cares about him. If not more.
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firewolf111 · 5 months ago
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Based off of a conversation I've had with myself (though slightly changed to fit the characters and because my memory is trash)
Logan: What happened to our dreams? To our goals of success? Why did you abandon them? Why did you give up on them? I thought you were passion. What happened to our drive? We wanted to be something. Now look at where we are.
Roman: You aren't the only goals we had.
Logan: What do you mean?
Roman: Did you forget his dreams? *Gestures to an image of a younger version of Thomas and himself*
Roman: Did you forget his dreams came first. Our want to be an actor, a singer, a dancer, a writer. Did you forget that to them, success was chasing our creative dreams? Our goals of science came later.
Logan: Well, that would make sense. Kids often have foolish dreams.
Roman: Foolish?!
Patton: Now, now. Let's calm down.
Roman: No! I'm tired of listening to him tell me my dreams mean nothing.
Logan: Well, they do. They have no merit to them. We all already know that they will get us nowhere, but our logical goals of pursuing science would have brought us the success we dreamt of.
Roman: We wouldn't have been happy. He wouldn't have been happy.
Logan: He would have been fine. We would have been better than we are now.
Patton: Okay, why don't we agree to disagree? I mean, you both are making great points.
Roman: I'm just trying to pursue something that will make us happy! To figure things out!
Logan: And look where that got us.
Roman: *small and dejected* Why can't we be content with where we are?
The silence is loud. Maybe it's the fact that you could hear a pin drop, or maybe it's the flinch Thomas gave or the disappointed look Patton sent him. Maybe it was the look of hurt on Roman's face. Or maybe it was his own painful self-awareness. But suddenly, he feels guilty. The anger simmers down, and he realizes that Roman was right. He wasn't the only one who had goals for Thomas. He wasn't the only one who had to sacrifice things for the greater good for him. But it's too late to back track, and he was never good at admitting he was wrong.
Logan: Are we content? I don't see why we should have to settle for such a pitiful outcome, just because you decided to quit pursuing better options. Perhaps if you were less lazy or had let me take control, things would have worked out better.
Roman: *defeated and not making eye contact* You didn't offer any compromise. The only option was to quit. We would have been miserable if we kept on the path you wanted.
Logan: *sinking out* Like we aren't now.
And like always, he regrets what he said. And as always, he still doubled down.
Later, he'll pretend like nothing happened. Guilt will eat him up on the inside, and he'll wonder if he is the robot people say he is. Yet no apologies will be said. Later, Roman will cry himself to sleep after staring in the mirror, questioning if he is actually Thomas's hero. He'll create something from the pain and hide it in his special drawer. Later, Patton will play mediator like always. He'll act more cheerful and kind to cover the obvious tension but will not acknowledge it.
And after that, Logan will offer coffee to Roman in the morning and ask if he wants to brainstorm ideas. Roman will accept the extended Olive branch. No apologies said or offered, but accepted all the same. Roman will create a story about a scientist and will ask Logan to help make it believable. Of course, Logan will agree and pretend he doesn't know the reason behind the story. Patton will watch and finally feel relieved at the end of the tension. And the mindscape will once again breathe.
Until it happens again.
Because they are not content with where they are.
But why can't we be content with where we are?
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bidokja · 2 years ago
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I was joking a while back that the actor they have playing KDJ for the orv movie was too handsome for him and a friend who's read orv was like "KDJ is actually secretly attractive!!" And I just felt my soul leave my body right then
SIGHS...
Okay. Buckle in. I'm gonna finally actually address and explain and theorize about this whole...thing.
I'm not gonna cite any exact chapters cause it's like 11:30 and I've got an 8 hour drive in the morning but I'll at least make an approximate reference to where certain things are mentioned. Also, this post is just my personal interpretation for a good bit of it, but it's an interpretation I feel very solid about, so do with that what you will. Moving on to the meat of things:
There is one (1) instance in the web novel that I know of which describes specific features of Kim Dokja (especially ones other people notice). This takes place when members of KimCom are trying to make Kim Dokja presentable to give his speech at the Industrial Complex (after it's been plopped down on Earth). This is when they start really paying attention and focusing on Kim Dokja's appearance since they're putting makeup on him; I still don't think they can interpret his whole face, but they can accurately pick out and retain more features than usual. If I remember correctly they reference him having long eyelashes, smooth skin, and soft hair. These features can be viewed as (stereotypically) attractive.
Certain parts of the fandom have taken this scene and run with it at a very surface level, without realizing (or without acknowledging at the very least) that this scene is not about how Kim Dokja looks. This is, in part, due to not realizing or acknowledging why Kim Dokja's face is "censored" in the first place, and what that censoring actually means. I think it's also possible that some people are assuming the censorship works like a physical phenomena rather than an altered perception.
I'll address that last point first. The censorship of Kim Dokja's features is not something as simple as a physical phenomena. It's not a bar or scribble or mosaic over his face. If that were true it'd be very obvious to anyone looking at him that his face is hidden. But his face is not hidden to people. They can look at him and see a face. If they concentrate on his eyes, they can see where he's looking. They know when he's frowning or grinning. They see a face loud and clear. But what face are they seeing? Because it's not really his, whatever they're seeing.
No one quite agrees on what he really looks like. And if they try and think about what he looks like, they can't recall. Or if they do, it's vague, or different each time. We notice these little details throughout the series. Basically, Kim Dokja's face is cognitively obscured. Something - likely the Fourth Wall, though I can't recall if this is ever stated outright - is interfering with everyone's ability to perceive him properly. This culminated in him feeling off to others; and since they don't even realize this is happening, they surmise that he is "ugly."
Moving on to the other point about what the censorship means: To be blunt, the censorship of his face is an allegory for his disconnect from the "story" (aka: real life, and the real people at his side). The lifting - however slight - of this censorship represents him becoming more and more a part of the "story" (aka: less disconnected from the life he is living and the people at his side). The censorship's existence and lifting can represent other things - like dissociation or depersonalization or, if you want to get really meta, the fact that he is all of our faces at once - but that's how I'd sum up the main premise of it. (The Fourth Wall is a larger part of the dissociation allegory, but that's for another post).
So you see, them noticing his individual features isn't about the features. It's not about the features! It doesn't matter at all which features got listed. Because they could describe any features whatsoever and it would not change the entire point of the scene. Because the point isn't what he looks like. The point is that they can truly and clearly see these features. For the first time. They are seeing parts of him for the first time. Re-read that sentence multiple times, literally and metaphorically. What does it mean to see someone as they are?
This is an extremely significant turning point dressed up as a dress-up scene.
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P.S. / Additionally, I'm of the opinion that Kim Dokja is not handsome, and he is not ugly. He is not pretty, and he is not ghastly. Not attractive, nor unattractive. Kim Dokja isn't any of these things. More importantly, Kim Dokja can't be any of these things. The entire point of Kim Dokja is that you cannot pick him out of a crowd; he is the crowd. He's a reader. He's the reader. Why does he need to be handsome? Why must he be pretty? Why is him being attractive necessary or relevant? He doesn't, he doesn't, it's not. He is someone deeply deeply loved and irreplaceable to those around him, and someone who cannot even begin to recognize or accept that unless it's through a love letter masquerading as a story he can read. He is the crowd, a reader, the reader. He's you, he's me. He's every single one of us.
#orv#orv analysis#orv meta#orv spoilers#beso babbles#inbox#there's also the meta that he is described with these (stereotypically) pretty features as they are about to try and 'sell' him to a crowd#which feels to me like a very pointed way to convey how 'beauty' is commodified. how audiences like 'attractive' characters more#note: made some edits to add in a couple of sentences my brain forgot in the moment so make sure u reblogged those if u do#tag edits for further commentary that isnt strictly relevant to the point i was making:#do i think that this face censorship was executed as well as it could have been? nah.#not that it was like. done Badly. it's followed through to a certain point. its established enough for me to make this post at least.#but i do think it is the one thing in the web novel that SS didn't capitalize on.#like. they still stuck the landing but it was not as picture perfect of an execution as the rest of the metaphorical stuff in orv#also. this (not the face censorship specifically but the 'hes just some guy' point of it all) is one of the big reasons i think that-#-visual adaptions of orv can never quite work. they can do the best that they can with that medium but a lot of nuance is lost-#-simply by virtue of it being a visual medium#i personally think the only way a visual medium could work would be one where they commit to the power move of not showing kdj's face#(until a certain point (of view) that is)#his face is always facing away or out of frame or hidden by someone or something else in the way#commit to the fucking allegory or simply perish
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kindaorangey · 1 month ago
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what's fucked up about loumand is i really do believe those two know each other better than anyone else in the world. they might not "get" each other like louis and lestat do and obviously there is a lot of performance to their relationship, but for better or worse they've seen each other through nearly eight decades. you just don't do that without coming out the other side having extremely intimate knowledge of how the other person works.
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indelicateink · 7 months ago
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the more seasons we get the less and less tom cruise’s face will appear on lestat or iwtv searches, articles, and websites, and the more and more sam reid’s face will show up instead. keep the faith
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my-current-obsession · 1 month ago
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every time i see bakudeku compared to k/ance (now specifically in terms of them getting shafted in the ending and/or accused of queerbaiting) i take psychic damage
#i am NOT tagging this one mainly because i don't want to bring down the fucking horde of klance shippers on my head#i was there. i was part of the fandom. and i STILL don't understand how or why THAT was the massive ship#y'all are clinging to something that stopped being relevant after SEASON ONE in an EIGHT SEASON LONG show#lance spent the ENTIRE series crushing on (and eventually fully falling in love with) allura#allura who slowly started to reciprocate. allurance CONTINUED to get ship tease EVEN as she fell for lotor#literally 85% of the significant klance moments/interactions were in the first season#i don't know how y'all kept clinging to a ship that gave you absolute scraps#as for keith. again i watched voltron myself. i even BRIEFLY shipped klance when the show first came out#because again - season one was GREAT for them. a strong foundation for a ship! but that foundation was NEVER built upon#then season two hit and i was quite happy to pivot to sheith which is where i remained until the ending#keith spent the entire show very devoted to shiro. you don't have to read it romantically but it's a hell of a lot easier to do so#than ever imagining he'd feel that way about lance after he just. basically stopped caring about him post s1#meanwhile lance slowly let go of the (one-sided) rivalry and just focused more and more on allura#comparing klance and bakudeku feels like a fucking crime to me.#klance was a once-promising rivals to lovers arc that IMMEDIATELY fizzled out into them being kind of friends.#but specifically The Friends Who Never Hang Out kind. while both parties were lowkey obsessed with someone else.#this ship was NEVER going to happen when it became clear around s4-5 that the writers DID NOT CARE about it at all#(and they went on record saying they were surprised it was so huge!)#meanwhile until the trashfire epilogue bakudeku spent the ENTIRE series obsessed with each other#they were friends to enemies to rivals to friends with everyone HOPING they'd get a canonical 'to lovers' tacked on#they got the MOST development in the series individually and as a pair (platonically or otherwise)#THIS ship had legs and was only denied greatness because it was struck with the typical shounen homophobia curse#PLEASE stop comparing one of the greatest arcs and relationships (even if it stumbled at the finish line)...#that i have EVER seen... to That. to fucking... two bros chilling in a hot tub (five feet apart cause they're not gay)#(except keith MIGHT be. just not for lance. sorry not sorry.)
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imminent-danger-came · 1 year ago
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What the Legos Want
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MK: "I just- I don't want to let my friends down, you know? It's like, I want to help out in the store, do arts and crafts with Sandy, and party with M-m-m-Mei! Mei! But it's to hard, I'm just one guy!"
(1x02 Duplicatnation)
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MK: "Okay! I did bad, I just- I really wanted that peach, and I guess I got carried away."
(1x06 The Great Wall Race)
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Sun Wukong: "Take in everything! Choose what you want to do, and then do it! That is focus."
(1x07 Impossible Delivery)
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MK: "I just wanted to be good enough—like you."
(1x09 Macaque)
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MK: "It's like- I want to be strong, and I'm trying to be! But it- it's like Monkey King isn't giving me a chance! *sigh* What if- what if he knows he made a mistake—chose wrong, chose the wrong successor?"
(2x07 Shadow Play)
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Sandy: "Hurting others isn't a measure of one's strength—took me a really long time to realize that. As long as I'm doing something to help out a friend, I don't mind what it is! I just want to be there for 'em when they need me."
(2x08 To Catch a Leaf)
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Sun Wukong: "You want me to leave it, and I want me to take it! Eh, it's toughy." Ne Zha: "What!? Don't do this! Sun Wukong: "I'm sorry—it's the only way!"
(3x01 On The Run)
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MK: “Why are you helping her—Lady Bone Demon—like, look, I get that you’re a bad guy, but you know that she wants to destroy everything, right?”
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Sandy: "I don't want to fight, but I can't let you hurt my friends!"
(3x04 The Winning Side)
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Sun Wukong: "What? You got what you wanted didn't you? Not gonna gloat? Monologue a little before scurrying off to your master? Go on! The Lady Bone Demon is waiting." Macaque: "I couldn't care less about what the Lady Bone Demon wants!"
(3x09 The King, the Prince, and the Shadow)
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Mei: "I can't! I don't want to hurt you—any of you! I'm sorry."
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Mei: "No! Stay back! I- I don't want to hurt you!"
(3x10 The Samadhi Fire)
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The Mayor: "All my lady ever desired was a world no longer plagued by pain—until the Monkey King and his companions got in the way. Fate however has gifted her a second chance!"
(3x13 Time to be Warriors) (Desired, wanted, same thing.)
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Lady Bone Demon: "Save your hero speech child—I've existed long enough to know when it's over. MK: "You still think that the universe really wants anything, from any of us?" Lady Bone Demon: "Don't you?"
(3x14 Destiny Fulfilled)
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Macaque: "Still the same Wukong, doing whatever he wants with no regard for others!"
(3x14 Destiny Fulfilled)
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Sun Wukong: "It's actually amazing how quickly you're mastering your powers—when I was your age-"
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MK: "-You were fighting the celestial armies and generally swinging your big ol' tail around to get what you wanted?" Sun Wukong: "Well I was going to say making regrettable life choices but yeah, thanks for laying out. I'm embarrassed to admit it but—you might have actually already done more for this world that I ever have!"
(4x01 Familiar Tales)
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Mei: “What’s the point of having power if you won’t use it? Don’t you have people you want to protect?”
(4x05 Court of the Yellow Robed Demon)
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Sandy: “But you were too WEAK to be who you truly are! I am a monster! That’s what the world wants me to be, so that’s what I’m gonna give ‘em!”
(4x06 Show Me the Monster)
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Curse MK: "Hey no no no- I get it man. You want to get back to our monster of the week adventures, get back to our simple missions with Mei, mastering all of Monkey King's powers and delivering noodles for pigsy. Right?" MK: "Yeah...yeah actually that's exactly what I wanna-" Curse MK: "But we can't! Not after all we've seen! All we know and all we don't? *sigh* Right friend?"
(4x07 Pitiful Creatures)
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Azure Lion: "No no—this isn't what I wanted! All you had to do was wait, after this was all over I was going to release Sun Wukong, help him see reason! That is now impossible—not after what you've done!"
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MK: “No matter what I do, it’s going to lead to pain. It’s like the Lady Bone Demon said—it doesn’t matter if I want to help people or not! Everything I do just- it just makes things worse!”
(4x08 The Brotherhood)
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Macaque: "Point is, it’s time to start making your own choices—something I wish I would have learned a lot sooner than I did. You don’t want to fight Azure because people might get hurt, you don’t want to not fight him because people might get hurt–so do something else! Only you get to decide who you are kiddo.”
(4x10 The Jade Emperor)
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Sun Wukong: "Ah, don't be like that! Eat some fruit, soak up the sun—that's why I've been training so hard!" Macaque: "What, so you can be the strongest?" Sun Wukong: "Nooo! Well, maybe a little bit—but that's not the point! It's so we don't have to worry about anything or anyone ever again! Just living a lazy life, sitting in the sun, eatin' fruit, and doing whatever we want!"
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Sun Wukong: "I just wanted to protect the people I cared about—to be strong enough. I lost sight of why I was doing any of it."
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Macaque: "You did it for yourself! You've become this like, obsessive demon! I told you going against the Jade Emperor was a bad idea, but no, Wukong doesn't listen to anyone, he just does whatever he wants!"
(4x11 A Lifetime of Mistakes)
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MK: "That's what you were pretending to be right? To be my friend? To care about me? When really you were just using me to get what you wanted! To turn me against my own mentor! Put your hand in the monkey cage, and expect to get bit son!"
(4x13 Rip and Tear)
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Sun Wukong: "Azure just stop, okay? You've won—you're going to destroy us just like you wanted! Us an the entire universe." Azure Lion: "Huh? No. This is not what I wanted! I can still fix this, it's- it's the whole reason I'm here at all!" Sun Wukong: "Wait, how are you here!?" Azure Lion: "What? What kind of a question is that you know exactly how I'm-" Sun Wukong: "-No! Here and now! I put you in the underworld myself. How'd you get out, how'd you get the scroll? I know for sure you didn't steal it—you couldn't have! Azure, who gave you that scroll? Because whoever it was they must have known this would happen, wanted this to happen! And they used you to do it."
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Azure Lion: "I just wanted to make the world a better place!" MK: "You still can—you're the only one who can."
(4x14 Better Than We Found It)
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Welcome viewers, to a shadow play the likes of which have never been seen! It follows the tragic tale of a legendary warrior, and how those who bring light into this world inevitably bring darkness to those they hold dear whether they want to or not.
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tenwhiteandalusians · 15 days ago
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is episode 8 the domitian arc ? more on this and EVEN MORE narratives i’ve been ignoring that the show said “actually,,,” about in 5
#hermes staying domitian’s hand… hermes’ face a flash of discomfort when he was torturing tenax… hmm. character growth.#WHAT WAS THAT HERMES. WHAT WAS THAT LOOK. NO GIRL GET BACK HERE I CANNOT ALSO DO THIS NARRATIVE OF YOU NO LONGER ABLE TO PULL HIM BACK FROM#THE BRINK OF HIS CRUELTY WATCHING HIM CHANGE AND SEEKING OUT SOMEONE ELSE IN HIS NEED AND FEAR AND ANGST. NO BABY GIRLLLL#I DON’T WANT TO WRITE A HERMES POINT OF VIEWWWW OF THE SIX YEARS HE SPENT WATCHING DOMITIAN BLOOMMMM INTO HIS POWER AND CORRUPTTTT because.#correct me if i’m wrong but in that very first scene that was a young hermes in the white right he watched domitian give his speech and saw#his father to truly see him the whole time as hermes has seen his brilliance.#NO I ALSO SAW THAT GUARD’S HEAD FOLLOW HERMES oh i hate it here. you know what i also hate? i need domitian to be successful for tenax#but also i do kinda like titus… NOOOOOO NO KILLING TITUS DOMITIAN I JUST SAID I LIKED HIM!!!! DOMITIAN!!!#oh. ohhhh no. OH NOOOO okay listen we can redeem this. we can have the whole turning point of the narrative be domitian’s mercy of hermes#the ultimate staying of his hand. proving he’s not entirely gone that hermes & his love still means something. do i think this will happen#no absolutely not. before he can kill his brother domitian has to kill the only other living person he loves perhaps more than titus if he#could ever realize it. (a brief interlude to yell LET’S GO LESBIANS LET’S GO HI IRIS) domitian… please spare him… OH WAIT HELLO THE BLOOD!!#ALSO a brief interlude to say i knew it was coming but ELIA’S SPEECH ABOUT LOVING INCITATUS??? I WAS ON THIS INCITATUS SHIT WITH THE LITTLE#NOD THEY HAD WHERE SCORPUS CALLED HIM TO BEAT XENON OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!!! elia’s going to crush him. incitatus won’t listen.#scorpus is going to die twice once when they call elia’s name instead of his and then the second time when the scorpion bites him again#(he kills himself and tenax finds him. sorry to give everyone absolutely maximum damage here but uh. that’s how i can see it going down)#or alternatively worse: after killing titus who at times he loves and hates in equal measure (if y’all don’t think I have some UNHINGED#brothers quotes. we’ll keep mum here about why but suffice to say it is. relevant to other fandoms. and thus i have a Collection) the last#thing domitian has to do is kill hermes. and this one is both out of betrayal but also love because I think somewhere in here titus’ queen#berenice plays a role because domitian’s hatred of the jews probably comes to play a role and I think titus would show up and protect her#like Domitian engineers some kind of a situation where in theory titus could escape alive or beat him but he can’t do that & save berenice#and so of course he saved berenice. or she dies in his arms and he goes mad with grief and any way you put it berenice is the trap & titus#happily crawls into the lion’s mouth to save her for love of her etc and domitian sees him die for it. he gives titus every chance to come#back to him to work with him to be what he wants him to be and he always chooses himself he chooses love and domitian can’t understand even#when it makes him weak. and then he sees hermes dirty and emaciated and still terribly terribly beautiful and feels such a pang of longing#and love that he decides he has to die because he (domitian) cannot be weak. he cannot have any of it. also giving domitian worse paranoia#than he already has because if you kill your brother the one person who should always love you—support you—who can build me a new brother—#you’ve gotta generate some MAJOR issues. namely trust issues. and if he kills hermes they’ll be even worse. so like ideally To Me domitian#wouldn’t kill him but i do very much see the symbolism of cutting off his last earthly tie & desire to ascend to the divine imperial throne#those about to die
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heir-of-the-chair · 7 months ago
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Lowkey hyperfixating now and I’ve come to the devastating conclusion that Jacob the main character of Water For Elephants… doesn’t really have a character arc
#or like#flaws#which is#bad?#like oh no that’s why every other character feels so much more 3 dimensional than him oops#so that puts a damper on my general opinion of the show#like oh no the book is missing the arc for its main character#I do wonder now if he had more of an arc in the book or the movie#but like#oh no the main character doesn’t have any character flaws#and like all the other characters are great marlena and august and fantastic#jacob is. a guy. he’s polish and he’s a vet and he’s sad. though honestly the sadness could have been more integrated into his character#like all the other characters got arcs at least a little#but jacob doesn’t really change throughout the story#which makes sense as to my thoughts yesterday that his and August’s relationship was under developed partially bc we really didn’t get#enough time seeing august actually coming to like jacob before he decides they’re besties nowbut also bc jacob is not very developed#in general#no actually he does have one flaw I can think of and that’s being Really Bad at pretending he and Marlena are not totally in love with each#other but that’s not like something he has to overcome it just kind of makes him look stupid cause the goal is not ‘get better at hiding#his feelings’ It’s ultimately ‘get away from august’ which like maybe that gets in the way of it but he doesn’t ever overcome his kinda#stupidity bc it’s not actually that plot relevant it just makes him seem annoying when he does that#I think I was too harsh in my opinion of grant gustin as jacob bc I’ve now realized it’s also the book’s fault#I’m hyperfixating and whenever I see a show I always have a lot of thoughts and now I’m hyperfixating in said show#still absolutely incredible though it’s definitely a new favorite but that part could be better#water for elephants#w4e#water for elephants musical#the heir speaks
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