#this is the tag for this whole trip now
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hi im back from my million year hiatus is there still anyone in this fandom
#dear evan hansen#deh#evan hansen#jared kleinman#connor murphy#alana beck#zoe murphy#yall know that trend where a friend group goes on a trip somewhere and they each pick out a horrible shirt for someone else in the group to#-wear to the airport#thats what i was going for#bc this is a#shitpost#i did not draw the airport in the background my deepest apologies#jared picked evans shirt#evan picked zoes#zoe picked jareds#and alana and connor picked eachothers#if u even care#shoutout to chris for prompting this idea#and a bigger shoutout to the person in the mall wearing a shirt that said 'orgasm donor' yesterday who was the true inspo#as i was originally going to draw evan in that shirt being tormented by jared obvs#kleinsen#garbage.jpg#WAIT I CAN EDIT A TAG NOW WITHOUT HAVING TO DELETE IT AND REWRITE THE WHOLE THING#thats sick i should come back here permenantely
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Becoming deeply radicalized against the idea of crewed Mars missions, y'know how the Rovers keep sending back better and better data what if instead of that we made an even bigger one and devoted nearly 90% of its capacity to holding a guy in a bubble on top of it instead of sending back useful data, but wait! They'll eliminate like a half hour of latency and also almost certainly contaminate the landing site and possibly the entire planet, so it's not all downside.
#At least in the near term it's fucking pointless and the downsides are very large and very big#Quite frankly it is extraordinarily likely that the first people to arrive at mars will do so dead#Because they will have been sent by fucking idiots willing to take too large risks#But the good news is that the wreck will spread across and contaminate huge amounts of the martian biosphere#To the point that we will quite possibly never be able to discern the history of life on mars#But if they live at least they'll get to slightly reduce the latency on our telerobotic fleet!#And travel home with the samples I guess#Good thing Percy's tagging and bagging rocks that we just canceled the return trips for#At least once we fuck up the rest of the planet those will be sterile#Kinda still excited about Aritimis but also kinda becoming anti-human spaceflight in general#We should consider not doing that for a while and at most focus specifically on living on the moon in a controlled and limited fashion#Ground the whole fucking commercial fleet who gives a shit those capsules are both gonna get someone killed sooner rather than later#And it's not like we're learning a whole lot by having people on hand up there#They spend most of their time trying to keep the machines from falling apart#Which is the main thing people would be doing for three continuous years on the shortest possible mars mission#Like you could send a dozen rovers for the price of one crewed mission both mass and money-wise#And that's probably a lowball estimate even assuming more and more advances in rover technology#Which are happening a lot faster than the advances in life support technology#Right now we do not even have enough functioning space capsules at our low earth orbit space station#Starship HLS is a fucking joke#The whole thing reeks let's just stop sending people into space for a while what were we really getting out of it
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that part of the endwalker finale
#ffxiv#geese art#ocs#oc: yesui#endwalker spoilers in following tags#i need you to imagine with me how awkward and tense the whole trip there was#zenos: hello my ex best friend how have you been#kiril: don’t talk to me.#zenos: that’s fine you bore me now anyways#kiril: BITCH???#zenos is like i’m sooooo excited to fight yesui again after all this :) and kiril’s like you have no fuckign idea how lucky you are rn#if i did not need u to get me to the literal end of the universe rn. biting tearing killing
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lays on the floor do you guys ever think about how in ResF Bulma falls for Vegeta's fake-out with Freeza and both she and Yamcha are worried about Vegeta's villain fake-out strategy in Champa and Beerus' mini tournament and how it's only been a couple of years since the Buu saga and how Vegeta straight up stopped using that strategy after that tournament
#i do#do you think he noticed it upset her twice in a row and was like 'oh I haven't earned the trust back yet i'll retire this strat'#'it's fun to scare people but i do not like my wife being scared we can put this one up on the shelf for emergencies only'#because like bulma can consciously trust him and I'm sure she does but one can still have The Fear if you've seen your spouse relapse befor#And he probably thinks it's very amusing but it is also almost certainly very not funny for her no matter how much she trusts him#and the next arc is Trunks and she's so worried about the way he left she ignored the PDA rules and squished him when she saw him alive#Because Geets determination can be self destructive when it comes to Bulma and Trunks and he killed himself to protect them once before#and knowing how connected they've been for so long some part of her probably Knew he would opt to stay behind and die like he was going to#And I love the idea that between those two events and all of the things Trunks tells him about Bulma during the GB arc Geets has to really#really be confronted with how loved he is -- and it's not that he wasn't aware before but knowing she even missed him at his worst#and loved him maybe even before she was pregnant -- means the cruel part of his mind can't make excuses for why she stayed with him#I also like to think that being confronted with the idea that Bulma is still scared for him getting his worst wires tripped#wouldn't be offensive to him. Knowing he's still got work to do if his wife is worried about those things happening to him again#is just proof that she loves him with his flaws and was still thinking about it and supporting his recovery when he didn't#even notice he was recovering -- which has always been true of her -- and now he has the chance to support her recovery in return#and being in a place where he can still put that work in to make her feel secure in his priorities is a privilege and a gift#and man I just really like how casually comfortably close they are in Super's manga I love them a lot they worked so hard#to make each other feel safe and secure for the past decade+ that it's Easy for them both now and they're SUCH a confident couple#and I am once again shaking the anime by the shoulders WHY didn't you give us that they are SO the team's Mom and Dad in the manga#until Goku riles Vegeta up -- then Piccolo is the team Dad. Bc Piccolo is the team Grandpa aksjda The Z-Fighter's locker room judge#dbtag#vegebul#putting the whole essay in the tags again oops#happy pride i am gay for a whole married couple
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the downside to being a sitcom neighbour sort of person is that when rough things happen and emotionally fuck u up a lil bit, it also sounds completely made up
#bert's dead dad tag#found out today the way my dad told mom he wanted a divorce?#he wrote her a letter and left it on the dining room table for her to find on the morning of her fortieth birthday#who the fuck does that dead father#like that is the sort of thing i would entirely make up if i needed everyone at the table to fuckin hate an npc#and at least one person would go 'you're laying it on a little bit heavy'#i know he did work to become a better person as he got older#which is good because BOY howdy was that man a piece of shit in the early 90s#and we are having Complicated feelings about it tonight and also for the last nine months#something something when i was writing his eulogy i came across an old article discussing something he did in the 90s#YDIP (your dad is problematic)#like yeah this is the sort of thing that would have been vaguely acceptable in the cultural context#but like. still objectively bad. potentially ruining several lives sort of bad.#learned this and then wrote the rest of his eulogy about how he was a great guy and how i'm lucky to have been his son#(which was rough enough on its own because i've never said 'i'm [dad's name]'s son' as many times as i did that trip home)#but like what else do you do? i sent off a message looking for more information#and that information if it comes is just gonna sit with me i guess#sure as hell not telling my sister and this whole thing i've been getting through without really having anyone here for me to talk to#(hence the big fuckoff tag rant. your problem now losers who like clicking the read more button)#so even if i get all the answers i want about this one thing it's not gonna do any good except putting an end to one question#but part of having a dead dad who's been out of the business of forming new memories since you came out is having more questions#answering this one's just gonna add even more questions to the pile#but. got fuckall else to do
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#horrible awful no good very bad day#apparently last night the apartment below ours caught fire and we were out of town#and we didnt find out til several hours later from our neighbor who had to track me down on facebook- we didnt hear a thing#from the apartment in any official capacity until like? 10 hours after the fire?#anyway we rushed home supremely early from a friend trip that was like#meant to be very good and fun#anyway so we rush home because no one can tell us if our cats are okay#and they were but our whole apartment is supremely smoky and all of our possessions are extremely smoky#and we cant stay there or let the cats stay there because of the smoke and soot and particles it just doesnt feel safe#so now im in my partners familys house which is like#fine but its full of people and i dont feel fully comfortable and i cant fully relax and and and and and etc etc etc etc#and tomorrow i have to wake up early and go over there and find out what if anything the complex plans to do about it and how long its gonna#be until we can come back safely. or more likely get more noncommittal answers and be unsure#and i dont know how long i can stay here and be normal#AND to top it all off i paid like 60$ to go to an aquarium i didnt even get to go to . but yknow. all of my friends got to !#and like im happy for them but no one was excited as i was and now i get to ruminate on how everyone got to do the fun thing i love#while i was stuck doing 17 loads of laundry and bathing the soot out of my cats fur in someone elses house#certainly it could be worse and im glad my cats are fine and im glad its just smoke damage and not yknow. Burn damage#but im having a sad little pity party anyway because i was supposed to have an amazing beautiful day ending in a relaxing evening#in my own home#and now i have to cope with all of this instead. all i want to do is cry#and also like. im scared we will have to move#but im also scared we wont... because like#i think it was a gas issue. and knowing that that happened in my building? and also knowing how much landlords love to halfass#repairs and everything else#i just dont know how safe i will feel there#even if they tell me its fine#anyway sorry for the tag vent post again my old ways will never die#ghost posts
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The fact that this trip cost a solid $50ish less than last time to book everything is the kind of positivity I needed tbh
#yes I booked the hotel room and train ticket 2 months in advance#I am a planner. I love the beautiful spontaneity of some things#but like they had maybe 2 rooms left near the venue for $110ish#and the train tickets were thankfully SO much cheaper than last time's bus tickets omg#to be fair. last time was New York LMAO so it was admittedly a further distance#But like yeah the event isn't for another 2 whole months exactly as of today#and I already bought the ticket for That a while ago lol#now I just have to save up for the trip itself LMAO#and also get new glasses skdfhksfljdslsd#talking in tags
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am finally back home and can say without a doubt that i am just fundamentally not built for long distance travel however the train was much nicer than planes
#that being said. pressurized cabins drive me insane a little bit#and also it gives you pretty intense sea legs for a While#like. the ones from the first trip hadnt gone away by the return one. so. might be stuck with that for a few days#we shall see#also ajr live fucks severely#the albums were already incredible but that was a goddamn religious experience#like. idk the way i think abt it is theyre more djs than a regular band esp w their performance showing the making of way less sad#like their music is very electronic‚ theyre making mixes of their own sound effects more than singing in one go#so like. the vocals were a teeensy bit rough at times#notably times it has taken me Literally Hundreds Of Hours Practice to be able to consistently sing along with#and times ive found its literally physically impossible to like. no matter what#idc how big your lungs are‚ there is no human on earth who can do that final run of karma in one breath#much less to An Entire Stadium After An Hour Of Jumping And Dancing And Singing Loud As Fuck#so like i dont blame them for that‚ you dont go to live shows expecting it to be 100% perfect anyways jwbdjsbfksb#the trumpet however. well she was certainly playing sometimes. and was very enthusiastic about her flares.#however. in most of their songs they use midi trumpets to my ear at least#meaning she was likely an addition specifically for live performances and in my personal band kid opinion#prooobably was not in any of the like. higher tier bands? idk just. a lot of the mistakes she was making were hitting as stuff that got#taught out of us the instant we joined any band beyond regular concert#so i would guess she was probably just like. a friend who happened to play trumpet in high school or maybe even just middle school#and they knew that the trumpet parts in their pieces were big and distinct enough that like they /had/ to get a live player#and just kinda. didnt anticipate the audition -> performance gap#like. her tone was really fried the whole time like she was playing as hard as possible#which. she was mic'd. have the sound guy turn her up.#the way they did it made it sound like she was using a mute but not. like she only got the bad parts of a mute from it yknow#her tempo and timing were. bad. theres no nice way to put that one it just Was Bad‚ like the trumpet runs in ajr songs arent. complicated#like. quite literally if you handed me the sheet music right now i would have it down perfect in a week at absolute most#and better than that player on sightread. like. we did so many sightreading drills.#like ill share my band kid creds if anyone cares but i need to emphasize this isnt me being braggy like. they genuinely just arent hard#fuck im out of tags. w/e i think only like one of yall also listens to them anyways so i can leave it there
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~~~
#i am close to tears - beware there is a rant about my life in the tags ahead so watch out - it's nothing VERY serious but it's... well#also this is literally about supernatural convention so it's not like a serious problem but it is a problem for me personally#so anyway last year when they announced misha for purgatory con 8 in dusseldorf i was like yes yes yes and i bought the tickets because:#1. i had a whole year to plan a trip 2. going to spn con was this little dream of mine because i've been in this fandom for years so#so i thought hey i deserve a little treat. i want to and deserve to go to a con and they just announced misha and i'd love to go#(and then they also announced jensen. and then jared too so like all 3 main guys will be there so !! a Treat !! yay!) and also Why Not#because it's in germany so it's the closest i would ever get a convention because i am from poland [*] no conventions here sorry#so i was like yeah the stars seem to have alligned yeah AND I BOUGHT THE TICKET. and the thing is SOLD OUT. and 3 main actor men are there#and a lot of mutuals that i'd finally love to meet maybe if they feel like it or whatever but i'd love to meet tumblr people so there's tha#and now. i just spent 3 hours after work looking for flights and everything. and. the conclusion. after 3 hours of looking at every possibl#way for me to get to Dusseldorf at the days of the con. well. the conclusion is i have no way to get there. and i am stuck.#and there are flights and they are not even that expensive. but the HOURS are horrible. i checked different airports and even looked at#flights to dortmund and i literally have no way to get there in a way that makes any sense... because arriving at 4pm on saturday is#too late. and the other option is being there at 8 am - cool - but i have no way of getting to the airport at 4 am. i'd have to take#additional day off from work (not an option). and i literally don't know what to do. it's almost 1 am and i should be happily asleep and i#am trying to solve this problem lmao because on one hand i really want to go and i want to figure out a way to get there 1. on time 2. in a#way that won't cost me 1/3 of my paycheck ; and on the other hand i just want to email the organizer to return the ticket or resell it to#someone because i know there will be someone who wants to go because the event is sold out#WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE THIS HARD......#AS I WRITE THIS I AM FULLY AWARE THIS IS SUCH A FIRST WORLD PROBLEM i know!!!!!! fully aware!!!!#but i just :(( really wanted to go :((( but i am slowly leaning towards the option of not going :((( because money and time :((#and the kilometers between me and the con place :(((((#personal
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so i did what any normal, sane, and rational person would do and overhaul-edited a multi-chapter fic right before a week-long trip to see family on the other side of the country. you know. regular behavior.
anyway. after giving the more the merrier the space i needed to not violently attack it, i've edited it to be more cohesive in tone and just got it to a place that i like better and feel good about
i've edited the original versions of the posts as well as what's up on ao3, so i'll reblog all 4? 3.5? chapters again shortly
#at first i was just gonna edit the first chapter but then i . did all of them#i left ch. 3 alone for the most part#but i wanted to match the other chapters to it a little better#they're still very much framing for the main event#but now it feels like one whole fic to me#not weird taped-together bits#and now i feel like i can finally relax and work on other things#i'm almost done with the wintery oneshot#it's very cute if i do say so myself#it'll probably be posted right after i get back from this trip#as usual thank you for reading these tags#i love and cherish you
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did you see the lord hater reference in the newest episode of tgamm?
literally I was going insane his name is lord doom check out the references
OOOOH, I'VE SEEN A FEW CLIPS, BUT I HAVEN'T WATCHED THE EPISODE YET!! (I still have a bit to go to be caught up with TGAMM... it's kinda low on my priority list and I'm bad at keeping up with the things I wanna watch BUT I SO HAVE TO GET TO IT SOMETIME 🌟)
#THAT EPISODE LOOKS SO FUNNYYYY#AOAYHGH I'D LOVE TO SAY THAT I HAVE THE WHOLE REST OF SUMMER BREAK TO DO THAT NOW THAT MY CLASSES ARE FINISHED#BUT I ACTUALLY HAVE SOME PROFESSIONAL EXAMS TO TAKE BEFORE NEXT SEMESTER.. and at least one of them ummm ideally this weekend maybeEEE#because I'm going on a week-long trip out of state soon so AWNASBABNBDS#I NEED TO SHOVE TGAMM S2 PLANS SOMEWHERE... SOMEWHERE IN THE SECOND HALF OF NEXT MONTH-#actually ykw i might've just convinced myself to go watch it Now while I download some sims 3 mods.. hmmmMMm#anyway sorry for the extra rambly tags IT'S BEEN. A BIT. SINCE I'VE GOTTEN TO SPEAK TO PEOPLE OR DO ANYTHING MUCH AT ALL HI HELLO
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Zaptor from Elestrals!
#elestrals#pixel art#Hey gang another secret tag update#I am in talks with the guy who makes this and he's commissioning me to make every elestral :')#this is my first animation commission/job that will stop me from having to worry about commissions for like... months#maybe even a full year. who knows. But the point is I will finally be a big shot#My home and love life are comfortable as can be but I have been worried about money a little recently as commissions are sporadic#But... I'm actually on track to move to full time animation. I'm so excited.#Game is still under construction. Story is done and I'm still coding. Might need a new computer soon because this one is nearly a decade old#I'm so hopeful that the universe has finally thrown me a proverbial bone at least career wise#I have a small fanbase who is really really nice to me and I met a lot of friends there and I need to remember them when this all kicks off#Misty Ripley Heck are three that have been super supportive and I will help give back to them for keeping me afloat this whole time#Ashley has also been subscribed to me for a year. It's our year anniversary soon and I'm so nervous bc I'm not certain what to get her/do#Will just be grateful to have more memories w her. Might get a little trip away somewhere if she can get someone to watch pets#just checked. Nothing standing out but I'll figure it out now that money is significantly less of a worry#I guess that's nearly every one of my worries gone. Just gotta actually grind and finish game and I'll have nearly nothing to complain about
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Hiiii sorry I disappeared on yall (if anyone cares lmao), I went through some rough shit and I just couldn't stand being on this app after that BUT I'm definately feeling a lot better than I did in the beginning, still not 100% there but I think I should be well enough to come back <3
Plus, I really miss posting about my girlfriend revenant apexlegends so I'm gonna try to get back into the swing of things 💕
#making this post is already making me anxious.... if i end up changing my mind later then ill let yall know at least#if i decide to disappear again 😭😭#i was gonna wait until after my trip but im so fucking bored without this damn app i figured i outta start getting back into it now#im going to visit a friend tomorrow again!!!! im very very excited to hang out with her!!! <333#and I know it's definately gonna help me move along and get better mentally so i cant wait!!#ah fuck i hope this doesnt end up in the tags bc i put his whole government name in the post 😭😭😭#anyways I'll let yall know how the trip goes when i can <3
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🙃🙃
#dont mind me venting in the tags!!#just had a VERY EXHAUSTING LUNCH#my work buds have way more busy/consequential jobs than i do#my one friend is in the stat centre and the other one deals with like 200 plus students who need alternative materials#and they are BOTH having a BAD TIME with this year's freshmen#so they vented which was cool. but then the next 40 minutes of lunch#was spent talking about which airports they like best in the world#bc they are well travelled enough to be able to PLAY that kinda game#meanwhile im sitting there like. i can count the number of trips i have taken involving a plane on 1 hand#they're out here like OH YEAH THIS AIRPORT WAS TRASH THEN I WENT BACK AND IT WASN'T TRASH#FOR FORTY MINUTES#anyway i'd love to travel but cannot afford it. which i know. and im sure one day i will!#but that day is not in the next 5 years lmao#so it kinda sucks to sit for a whole ass 40 minutes and listen to fun travel stories#well. more like. airport rankings#but whatevers!#other downside was that today was a 12pm lunch so now the afternoon is going to DRAG by#gross#i need like some good social vibes now or smth like. good lord#dani vents#dani speaks#personal#ish
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just got reminded of one of my favorite bittersweet memories from the closet/denial - when I was 15 we had an exchange student from the US stay with us for a few days and I got along so well with her, and we wrote endless fb messages and emails and letters and I just felt like we were soulmates and cried when she left and couldn't wait to visit her a few months later on a school trip, and I remember sitting in her car with her and singing along to Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl" because i had just bought cherry chapstick so she started playing the song, and my heart started beating faster when she started to sing along and I just remember not knowing what it was but knowing it was a special kind of friendship. I attributed it to the circumstances and the traveling and all the excitement of a school trip, and only years later, when I read her coming out post on facebook something in me clicked and made me realise how obvious it could have been to me that I had a crush on her if I'd had the language for it at 15.
#queer#ramblings#she just posted a wedding pic of her and her now wife on insta and they look so cute and beautiful#and seeing that made me remember how hard the realisation of what my feelings had been hit me when i read her coming out post#which she posted almost 10 years after we first met#and i'm pretty sure we both didn't know back then#maybe she did but i definitely didn't suspect a thing#i remember coming home from the US trip and telling my mom all abt our adventures and how heartbroken i felt when we had to leave#and in the whole friend group of like 10+ ppl we hung out with (my friends & their hosts) there was 1 guy#named kyle and he was someone's boyfriend#and my mom asked me#if i was sad abt saying goodbye to kyle#and i was like#??!??!? KYLE#i'm fucking heartbroken abt my host but not fucking kyle#he was nice and all but he was literally just some girls bf who tagged along but comphet made my mom latch onto the only guy i mentioned lol#i remember the extreme confusion i felt whem she asked abt him#and i was like?!?? i literally have talked abt girls for half an hour WHY are you making it abt kyle#i'm in such an oversharing mood today lol but seeing her insta posts just made me really nostalgic#and sad for closeted teenage me who could have had all these experiences but didn't know it yet
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If you want to know how much of an impact your story has on people. Know I think about “Like the Stars that shine” everyday. I’m not kidding, read this in the most aggressive way possible(affectionate)
You’re an amazing writer. Got me tearing up n shit
and this message has got me tearing up n shit 🥹 tysm for reading and caring about this story, i'm so glad you've enjoyed! i'm looking forward to what i have planned for future chapters and sharing those with you guys, hearing what people think really helps me stay motivated to write :) <3
#so excited for next chap when aemond gets harpooned by laenor!!#jk jk#or am i#lsts#no but for now the future of lucemond in lsts remains uncertain on the principle of “no spoilers”#i say as if the whole plot isnt described in the tags🙈 but details guys details!!#i CAN tell u abt the family boat trip they took when they were like 10 and 12 and luke and aemond got in the stupidest fight#and to be petty aemond stole luke's pressure-point bracelet he wore for seasickness#he got his tho <3 luke threw up on his shoes#what was the fight about you ask#there are conflicting reports#anytime someone brings up that vacation jace sighs and has to look out a window for ten minutes#alicent had to break out the royal stationary to write some noble family at LEAST one apology for their alpha son's nose breaking
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