#this is the signal to finally learn how to solve one of these...
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swanfable · 3 months ago
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i very much lack consistency in spaced work but also my life feels like a rubik cube at this point, so when i fix one side i've completely fucked up the rest of them and that's how i never make any progress
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elumish · 6 months ago
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I think one of the most important unspoken skills of being a writer is knowing how to take critique and criticism of your work.
This is not about comments once work is published--this is about how to actually deal with and adjudicate feedback from beta readers, sensitivitiy readers, editors, etc. Because at some point, if you plan to go through any sort of publishing process, you will need to deal with feedback.
Especially for content/structure comments (as opposed to grammar/typos/etc.), most people have an instinct to get defensive. It's normal! I get it! I also get defensive. These stories are usually the product of many hours worth of work, of time and energy and emotion dedication. Having someone tell us there's a problem can feel like they're telling us that we did something wrong.
So first, recognize the defensiveness. You're allowed to start with defensiveness (if you're not a jerk about it). But recognize that you're being defensive, let yourself sit with it as long as you need to, and then figure out how to move past it.
The next step is to make sure you understand the feedback. Sometimes feedback can be confusing or unclear (the people giving feedback are human too) or it can be talking about a problem that doesn't really exist. You want to make sure that you know what they're actually saying and how it fits in the story.
Along with understanding the feedback, recognize when feedback represents a fundamental misunderstanding of your story. Sometimes people misread your story or aren't careful or just have a vastly different interpretation of your story than the words on the page, and they will give feedback that reflects that. You are allowed to say, basically, "this isn't actually commenting on my story but the reader's interpretation of my story" and move on. But sometimes a fundamental misunderstanding means that your story is confusing or unclear, and it may signal that you need to make changes, even if they aren't the changes the commener suggested.
When you're working your way through feedback, trust identifications of problems more than you trust recommended solutions. This is not to say that you should never follow people's recommendations (and what recommendations you follow may/should depend on who they are), but it is your story, and ultimately you know it better than they do. If someone gives the comment that the pacing doesn't work in x section and that you should think about adding y scene, you may realize that what would actually solve the problem better for the story is updating an earlier or later section instead.
Trust your understanding of your story but allow it to evolve. You know your story best and shouldn't change it just because someone had an idea--but you should also be flexible about your story and not stick to your original story just because it was the first idea you had.
Finally, learn how to be okay with having been wrong. Sometimes your idea wasn't the best. Sometimes what you wrote didn't work. Sometimes it was racist or sexist or homophobic or transphobic or ableist. Sometimes it was confusing or unclear. Sometimes it was a stupid idea. And when commenters tell you that, the only way to fix it is to learn how to look at something you love and say, yeah, okay, this was bad and needs to be fixed.
And as a postscript to it all--remember that critical feedback isn't a reflection on you or your writing. Every author in existence has gotten critical feedback at some point (or, if they haven't, it's because they have a terrible editor). Nobody is perfect on their first true, and nobody is perfect in a vacuum. Critical feedback is one of the ways that you and your stories get better.
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mattiebluebird · 10 months ago
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Yk that post that's like ‘signal is the spiritual successor to nightwing’ bc I DO & IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT NON-STOP.
And the comics pretty much confirm it (To Me) in Grayson #15.
So in this issue each of the Robins, minus Steph (RIP Steph) get paired off with one of the We Are Robin gang and give them their own advice on what it means to be Robin.
Tim—whose main problem with this whole thing is that they don't know these kids, how can they trust them?—gets paired with Andre Cipriani, a mob kid whose dad was murdered by a rival gang when he was eight years old. Tim trains Dre by having him fight blindfolded. He tells Dre that being a Robin is about truth and investigation, which makes sense, right? Tim became a Robin by figuring out Batman and Robin’s secret identity (keep this in mind, all the Robins’ advice links to their origin).
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To be a Robin, you have to understand what you don't know. And then you must seek to know it. You must always ask: how can I see into the dark? Batman once told me, being a Robin can be summarized into one word: investigation.
These two were an interesting choice to pair up. I would've thought they'd put Dre with Jason, given their violent tendencies—Dre is smart, but at this point in the comics doesn't strike me as particularly investigative. Then again, right after this arc he goes undercover in a gang, so maybe he learned something?
Speaking of learning something: at first I thought they should've paired Dre with Steph (#teamcriminaldads lmao), and while that would be an interesting team, Dre did learn from Tim. If Riko were present in this issue, she would've been a good fit for Steph, as she idolizes the Batgirls and Steph was both a Batgirl and a Robin. Plus, Steph and Riko are both brave & have mean streaks, something that Riko has trouble showing because of her shyness. Steph’s advice probably would've been along the lines of “being a Robin is about defiance”.
Besides, if Tim and Dre weren't paired up, we never would've gotten this interaction.
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— You like Liszt.
— What?
— Franz Liszt. The composer. You play the piano. I looked you up. People who play the piano like Liszt.
Points to Tim for the most autistic small talk ever. ‘You like this, which I know because I researched you in a totally non-creepy way.’ Amazing. 10/10.
Dax gets paired with Jason. They're interesting parallels. Dax is the inventor/mechanic of the team, but also sort of the wild card with very strong morals, like Robin!Jason in a way. Like Jason, Dax’s father is (implied to be) a crook, though they took different moral directions because of that—Dax is completely opposed to gun violence.
Anyways, Jason's main reservation is that you can't have Robin without Batman. And I guess he decided to solve this issue by just becoming Batman & making the WAR crew relive his origin story by stealing tires from the mob.
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Y'know, kid, Batman once told me, being a Robin comes down to one word: confidence.
Jason Todd, the Crime Alley street kid who had the balls (and the skills) to steal Batman's tires and get away with it. Sort of. Confidence, indeed.
Damian's problem with the Robins is, of course, that they're weak, and strength (according to him) can't be trained; you either got it or you don't. He gets paired with Izzy, who probably has the toughest home life of the WAR crew. Her brother's in a gang (that he regularly beats her up for not joining), and she's failing all her classes because she's too busy working night shifts at her mom's restaurant to sleep or do homework.
So Damian's advice to her is pretty apt:
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Batman told me that there is one word that captures the essence of being Robin. Suffering.
Damian and Izzy are both outwardly surly, stubborn characters who have had to fight to survive. Notably, Izzy is the first of the crew to almost resort to killing/guns (in WAR #6). She's also probably the best fighter in the WAR crew after Dre and Riko. She does dancing, gymnastics, judo, and kick-boxing.
And, finally, we reach the point of this whole post: Dick & Duke.
Duke deduces Dick's secret identity in like .5 seconds.
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— I've solved a lot of hard in my time. This ain't hard.
— No. No, it wasn't hard. Not for you. Again, Duke Thomas?
Dick: You discovered my secret identity!
Duke: What? Like its hard?
After scoping out their strengths and weaknesses, Dick sends the Robins on individual assignments: Dre and Tim to investigate, Dax and Jason to cause a distraction, Izzy and Damian to apprehend Robo-Batman/Gordon.
Dick brings Duke on to a roof for a stake-out, where they have this exchange.
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— You think only the originals understand how to be Robin?
— Nope.
— Yeah. Me neither.
Then it turns out that Dick actually turned them all in to the cops because he wanted them out of harm's way. He's been watching Duke for a while and he knows he's scared of heights, so he led him onto a roof he knew he couldn't get off of. Just before they part ways, Dick imparts his Crucial Robin Advice:
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Batman once wais to me that being a Robin is about one thing. Family.
(I find this whole thing super ironic considering Dick's whole aside concerning the Robins was the fact that it doesn't matter if people know you're manipulating them as long as it works.)
The point of Robin? Family. Dick and Duke are alike in this way. Dick only became Robin to get justice for his parents’ murder. Duke only joined WAR to find his parents.
Their origins and motivations are similar, and so are the characters themselves. Dick is often called the world's second-greatest detective next to Batman himself. Duke is a child prodigy—one of our first introductions to his character is when he tried to solve the Riddler's riddles in Zero Year. He loves puzzles. He's an amazing detective.
And, of course, one of the things we know and love about Nightwing is his inherent kindness, something that's present throughout Duke’s entire character arc. Even their hero names, Signal and Nightwing, are parallels of each other (light and dark). Batman’s first sidekick and his last. And, like Nightwing, Signal formed his own team (WAR) with no help from the others (except Alfred ig).
Of course, the entire point of Signal’s character is that he's not just a Robin. He's something different. It reminds me of that post that's like—’poor dick grayson, originator of a legacy he never meant to be a legacy, crushed with guilt and jealousy when he looks at all those who came after’. To me at least, it makes sense that Nightwing’s successor would've never been a Robin at all.
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fractualized · 2 months ago
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I talked about the first issue of Robin Lives! and my high hopes for it, but when #2 & 3 came around, I didn't have the time to post about them.
But this final issue… uh… Let's get into it. ("It" including gun violence and suicidal ideations.)
So as a brief recap: at the end of #3, Jason found Joker's hideout but froze when confronting him, and Joker decided to solve his Robin problem by mind-manipulating him to be a sidekick of his own: Jokey the Boy Lackey.
In #4, Joker takes his new pal to go after Dr. Stoner.
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In #2, Joker pretended to be reformed but Stoner didn't buy it, expressing disappointment, which only set Joker off. And that anger reappears here, less about the offense of some nobody little man pitying him and more about insisting that nobody could actually care about the criminally insane. Of course, this scene comes off more like Joker punishing Stoner for caring— or rather, getting Jason to.
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But whatever control Joker had over Jason doesn't hold.
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Interesting that Joker leaves Jason alive, and Stoner too. Also, Jason is still awake in this scene, so Joker is truly not worried about him.
Compare this interaction to the opening of #3, in which Joker imagines he's watching films of old comedians with Batman, who is having a great time, and that fantasy is interrupted by an imaginary Robin, who makes fun of Joker's sense of humor. Did Joker decide that since trying to kill Robin had too many downstream effects, he should try to bring him into the joke instead? And then confronted with the real Robin's disdain for him, Joker lashes out to make him feel small? In any case, Robin has proven himself a poor fit for Joker's plans, unlike Batman.
Joker returns to his hideout to get his supplies, and he leaves a note for Batman not only with a clue to his whereabouts, but explicitly letting him know that he let Robin go!
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Again with the signals that Joker regrets almost changing the game. (Though he still has, considering what happened to Barbara, which is never mentioned in this miniseries, which is disappointing. In all the brooding in #2 & 3, it's not like there wasn't room for it.)
Anyway, Bruce pulls that move where he works with a sidekick just fine until it gets too dangerous.
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While Bruce goes to meet Joker, we learn that Jason has been stewing in humiliation and has had enough.
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And the narration gives the first signal of how the storytelling in the last quarter of this issue is gonna go. lol
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Oh, so you couldn't think of anything plausible? Anything at all? Not even, I dunno, Joker boasting to Jokey about his plan, or Jason catching sight of a map when he was in the hideout? Alright.
Anyway, Bruce finds Joker in the Miagani caves, home to the particular bat left with the note. Joker has figured out a frequency that allows him to control the bats, and he's also infected them with a psychoactive agent that he wants to unleash on Gotham.
UNLESS….
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A proposal?! 😍
So it's either a swarm of infected bats or one infected Bat. Batman should forget about the dang kid, who just doesn't get the joke like they do, and join Joker!
Jason disagrees with this, which he demonstrates by popping up and shooting Joker in the chest. But we've known since #1 this doesn't end in a chest shot.
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Farewell, sad clown. :(
So like Joker not planning to kill Jason, his expressions say that not only did he not expect Jason to follow through, but he was relieved when the kid did. Compare this scene to #1 when Bruce almost let him drown. Joker looked only distressed then; with Batman, he needs the game to go on. But Jason finally brings the compulsion to a stop, forever.
Bruce, of course, is upset, and he was not planning to drink Joker's toxin.
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That face kills me
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"WHATCHA GONNA DO OLD MAN"
When Bruce gets up to the ledge, Jason is gone. And while Arkhamverse Bruce nicely carried Joker's body out of Monarch Theater, here he seems to simply panic, per the first panel below. Which is quickly followed by a lot of shit that sure seems too easy??
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Alert, alert! 🚨 WFA has breached containment again!🚨
There are versions of this that I could buy. None of those versions have Bruce simply hugging out Joker's murder within hours of him dying.
The next three pages are an unbelievable speedrun of the aftermath. Let's go one by one.
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The Three Jokers-esque rundown of why Jason couldn't be held accountable for Joker's death is all fair enough. And it is in character for Bruce to take the blame for Joker's death, and boy howdy does it make the batjokes feels dance when Joker's death prompts the death of the Batman persona.
But Bruce putting all his bad bat-decisions into the dead persona doesn't really reckon with him having made all those decisions. In an earlier issue, Sara notes that Batman was a fantasy Bruce used to run away from facing his pain, and him now running into his parents' roles just feels like the same thing.
Also being told that Jason was "nearly catatonic" and not showing it is just odd.
Next page!
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This page is also weird. I suppose if the logic is that Bruce's sin was bringing a child into the vigilante life and he needed to give up the cowl to atone… No, it's still weird, because Dick was also a child brought into that fight. Just writing him off as already damaged goods so Batman can stay around feels like it undermines the meaning of Bruce retiring.
I'm setting aside whether or not Dick would really want to be Batman, because I don't have a dog in that fight. But making him a Bruce clone does not feel right.
Maybe that's the point, though?? That the cycle is just starting all over again, inescapable? Is this just TKJ? 🤔
Before we follow that line of thinking, next page!
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Ohhhhhhh, poor Sara. I thought you could still get out of this as a confidante. But no, you're the narrator and you're so familiar with Bruce and his family because you're ✨in love✨ now. We didn't have to do this. There's literally no point to making her a romantic interest. Sure, I can see going with her instead of an established one because they're all in the crime game and Bruce is escaping that here, but still. And don't tell me "it took years" in an attempt to gloss over how we don't even know this lady. WE DON'T KNOW THIS LADY. This development feels tacked on. I hate it.
Though I mean, Bruce only falls in love after Joker is dead. That's something. 😂
And then we have Jason getting multiple degrees related to mental health care and eventually becoming a higher up at Arkham Asylum. Way different than the Jason Todd of today, but hey, this is an alternate universe and—
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what
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WHAT?
Uh… 🎵 Cue game show music! 🎶 Congrats to the jaydick fans out there! You are the next batjokes!
I have no idea what to think here. You could theorize that Joker's brainwashing lingered, I guess, and influenced Jason to take his place later. Or perhaps that Jason studying mental health made him ponder the Joker too much and he "infected" himself with his late tormenter? Or are Batman and Joker truly inevitable in any universe and Jason is just helplessly compelled to take on the role?
I don't know! This all was going so well and then it just ends with a bunch of stuff that happens!
I wonder if it was always supposed to end this way? I reread all the issues today, and some of the narration is strange if #4 is indicating that the Sara telling this story exists at a point where she knows that Jason is now Joker. Like some of it you read and think, "Ohhh, the inevitability here isn't about Jason shooting Joker; it's about Jason becoming Joker." But then other parts conflict with that, like in #3 when Sara talks about Jason feeling like it's impossible to victimize others, as if it's a present fact. Clearly he does not feel that way!
Also, at the end of #3 when we saw Jokey, I was excited at the prospect of Joker seeing himself in Jason, and perhaps vice versa, and the emotional struggle that direct compare/contrast could bring. And the first couple pages get at that a little, I guess? But certainly not enough that the final two pages aren't completely out of the blue.
You could say that since Jason takes on Joker's old identity as Red Hood, he's just doing the same again here, but there's still no lead-up to it!
In the end, I guess this is just a sad story about how even when Bruce breaks away from his violent coping mechanism to really promote healing, he still fucked over his kids and it's just too late? I mean, fair enough, but still. Could've used one of those big exposition pages to at least drive more at that. 🤷‍♀️
The next mini-series I'm pinning my hopes on is the Two-Face one in December. Christian Ward stuck the landing in City of Madness, so let's see if he can do it again!
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comphetkoncass · 1 year ago
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little fic about tim's love language being contingency plans
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The thing is, Tim has a way of attacking Kon’s problems like a puzzle. Like a riddle, waiting to be solved. 
Tim’s plans also don’t involve much feeling, usually, even if the issue is purely an emotional one. While Tim is decent at listening and empathizing, at a certain point he always gets his Robin face on. A signal that, while he’s still certainly listening, there’s a chemical reaction in his brain, completely out of his control, that activates his detective skills. His problem-solving skills. 
It has taken Kon a combined two lifetimes, four years, five collective identities, and two–maybe three?–timelines, but Kon has finally gotten Tim to at least ask before starting to strategize. But lately, Tim has undergone some personal growth, and Kon is starting to wonder if, perhaps, he has learned to not even ask. To instead, politely wait for a signal – a sign, an invitation, even– that said advice is actually wanted. 
Kon would like to take the credit for training him, he really would. But he has a feeling he’s only one of many factors. 
Today, Kon is sitting face-down on Tim’s bed. Krypto sits on top of Kon’s back, the world’s most powerful emotional support dog pinning him in place. Preventing him, more like, from leaving before he's gotten all his complicated, messy, unwanted feelings out. Also preventing him from looking up at his boyfriend before Kon is done feelings-dumping, because otherwise Kon just won't finish talking, and it will go unsaid.
So Kon can’t see it; he can't see the detective face for himself. Can’t verify, for sure, absolutely, 100%, that TIm’s detective face is on. 
But he knows it’s there. 
He’s just spent half an hour talking about his latest identity crisis. Of course Tim’s detective face is on. It’s probably been on since minute two. 
However, Tim is also running his fingers through Kon’s hair, and making the occasional appropriate comment, always generous and rational and kind, always active listening, and– listen, Kon isn’t immune to the soft victim support voice. He’s definitely not immune to the Robin leader voice, but the softer, empathetic, gentle one Tim uses with people who need help? And when it bleeds in so subtly into his regular speaking voice that it’s not immediately obvious that’s where he pulling it from? 
Incredible. Show-stopping. Kon could listen to it all day, if he wasn’t the one monopolizing the conversation by info-dumping all his problems. 
Finally though, he finishes the garbled, soft, self-deprecating speech about how he’ll never be completely free of Lex’s braingook (yes, that is the scientific name for it, thank-you-very-much) and how that means he’s always going to have a chip on his shoulder until Lex dies and even then Kon’s going to have to worry about some secret chip in his brain that transfers Lex’s consciousness to his or what-the-fuck-ever. 
He can hear the comment Tim wants to make. The unspoken, soft little, 'You know, we could probably test you for that... A chip would definitely show up on an MRI...'
Instead, Tim only pauses the briefest, softest moment. “...That must be really stressful for you, worrying about that.” 
Kon looks up, just a little. Sees Tim’s best poker face. 
Then sighs, and bids the victim comfort voice goodbye. “Okay, I give in,” he says, and moves to cross his arms in Tim’s lap instead. Krypto lets out an annoyed little huff at being jostled from Kon's back, but he soon hops off Kon’s back and moves to lay at his side instead. Kon rubs him behind the ears, Krypto butts his head against his hand, and all is well again. “C’mon, out with it.”
“Hm? Out with what?” Tim asks, still in the same plaintive tone. “What do you mean?” 
“Relax, you can stop the sympathy. I know you want to start strategizing how to solve all my problems,” Kon says, and leans up in what he hopes is a very kissable position, because he really wants one. “You’ve suffered enough, I know you’ve already thought through eighteen different plans.” 
Tim lets out a shuddering breath, immediately sagging his shoulders. “Thank you,” he says, sounding exhausted. Distracted, and clearly already thinking of how to phrase his plans, he meets Kon halfway for a kiss. It's even a proper kiss, soft and sweet, and it really does make Kon feel better. Then, to his surprise, Tim also presses a more tender one just between his brows. “I really do empathize, though. Just so you know. This isn’t me not empathizing. But I mean, if you're giving me explicit permission it's not like I haven't been starting to think about how we could test for these and help you stop worrying about them-” 
Kon shakes his head, fond and sweet. “I know. Your love language is solving people’s problems for them, I've accepted this about you."
Tim looks the tiniest bit offended. "I- that's not a love language."
"It is for you," Kon says. Then, he grins, looking up at his boyfriend through his lashes. "So come on. If it's your love language... Show me you love me.” 
Tim’s cheeks bloom red. But he smiles instead of shying away, then runs his fingers through Kon’s hair again, gentle and sweet. “Get comfortable then, because I’ve got a lot of- love to show. To finish the metaphor, I mean. There’s only five so far, but number three is kind of complicated, you're going to want to take notes, but I could summarize it again for you afterwards, when you're less cozy-”
Yeah, Kon thinks. There’s no denying how much Tim loves him. He might be a strategist at heart, but Tim also wouldn’t make immediate contingency plans for just anyone, either. 
Kon curls up on Tim’s lap soon after, with Krypto snuggled up onto his chest. As long as Tim keeps stroking his hair, Kon doesn’t mind the clinical approach to his problems. It’s nice to have a boyfriend who can both meet him where he’s at, and say what he really feels. Even nicer, he thinks, to know that it’s all coming from a place of genuine affection. 
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skyward-floored · 8 months ago
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For IAU requests… anything Four related? Sorry if that’s too vague lol
Don’t worry about it anon, being vague is fine! Precise prompts are fun too, but having some more vague ones adds some nice variety. And gives me the freedom to do stuff like this, hehe.
(Set when they’re all a little older. Four is somewhere in his early teens).
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“Hey, um... Link?”
Four startled, nearly banging his head against that of the girl leaning over him. She jumped back, and Four blinked a few times, trying to focus on her face. Freckles swam into view, and Four finally recognized the girl as his friend Dot.
Friend, despite how his brothers tried to tease.
“Ah, sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you,” Dot apologized, and Four waved her off, yawning.
“‘S okay,” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “Did you need something?”
Dot hesitated, something odd shining in her eyes. “You um, really seem tired today, Link. Are you all right?”
No. “Yeah.”
Dot studied him a second, then leaned down, and lowered her voice so the other kids couldn’t hear her as easily.
“I... I heard your brother was in the hospital.”
Four swallowed as the familiar ache in his chest came back, and he looked at his desk as he nodded.
“I’m really sorry,” Dot continued, her voice soft. “Is there anything I can do?”
“No,” Four mumbled, not wanting to think about Twilight, still struggling to recover after a hit from a mysterious weapon had nearly killed him. Hyrule’s powers had had almost no effect on his injury, and they’d exhausted every option they had. And though Twilight was finally no longer on death’s doorstep, he still wasn’t healing like he should be.
He could easily slip back to a dangerous level, and if that happened again he might not have the strength to pull through this time.
“...Link?”
Four swallowed. “Sorry. Thanks though. Appreciate it.”
Dot hesitated, but nodded, and patted his shoulder as the bell rang, signaling the start of class. She sat in the desk next to him like she always did, and poked his arm whenever he started to drift off, giving him a light shake when that wasn’t enough.
The school day dragged on, and dragged him with it, Four fumbling his way through his classes. Dot stayed at his side for all of them that she could, and the part of him that was awake enough to notice was grateful for it.
He’d barely slept the past few days, his emotions were a wreck, and on top of all that he’d had a nasty argument with Wild last night.
“He doesn’t need this right now!”
Four swallowed. All he really wanted to do was go back to the hospital and sit with Twilight, but instead he was stuck in school, currently learning about some math formula while his and Wild’s angry words rang in his head, along with the noise Twilight had made when he’d been hit and Four couldn’t stop thinking about how still he’d gone after he’d fallen—
“Mr. Forester, I asked you a question.”
Four blinked, and realized his math teacher had come up to his desk, arms crossed as her foot tapped on the floor. The classroom was quiet, and Four swallowed when he noticed everyone was looking at him.
“Mr. Forester?” the teacher reminded sternly, and Four swallowed.
“I’m... could you repeat that, please?” he stammered, and she sighed.
“I asked if you knew how to solve the problem,” she said, raising an eyebrow. “And I would appreciate an answer sometime this year.”
A few of his classmates tittered, and Four blinked the exhaustion out of his eyes, trying to remember if he’d actually heard her say the problem or not. His cluttered brain couldn’t focus though, too many thoughts and feelings clogging his usually sharp brain. The writing on the board blurred, and Four swallowed, looking at his desk.
He had no clue what he was supposed to be solving.
“I... n-no. I’m sorry,” he whispered, and to his horror, his eyes began to water.
His teacher sighed, and went back to the front of the class. “Disappointing, Mr. Forester. I expect more from you. Can anyone else tell me how to work these equations? Miss Castor?”
Someone else spoke up, but the words just buzzed in Four’s head, his throat tight as he stared at his desk.
His brother could be dying right now, and he was wasting his time sitting in a math class.
Four bit his lip as it trembled, flipping up the hood of his jacket. The argument with Wild wouldn’t stop replaying through his mind, the way he’d yelled and how Four had yelled back, and how he’d split in the middle of it and said things he knew he’d regret, but they’d felt so good leaving his mouth, and the way Wild’s face had looked so miserable as he’d run away, and how his father had just looked resigned to the fact that they were going to lose Twilight—
A hand squeezed his arm, and Four looked through his hair at Dot, her face sharply worried now. He swallowed rather thickly, and Dot suddenly raised her hand.
“Yes, Miss Gustafson?” their teacher asked as she turned around, and Dot stood from her desk.
“I think I need to take Link to the nurse,” she said firmly, hand still holding Four’s arm. “He hasn’t been feeling well all day, you can see for yourself he’s pale.”
“Are you certain?” their teacher asked, and Dot nodded, unwavering. Their teacher thought for a moment, tapping a finger on her desk. “Hmm. I suppose he has been acting unusual today... that would certainly explain some things. You may escort him.”
“Thank you,” Dot said with a nod, and she pulled Four out of his desk and out of the classroom before he could blink.
They didn’t go to the nurse’s office though, rather Dot pulled him to a small spot behind the stairs, one so small only a few kids could actually fit back here. Four and Dot fit fine though, and she tugged Four down to sit, rifling in her bag.
“Okay, go ahead,” she said, pulling something out.
“Go ahead?” Four asked, barely stopping his voice from wobbling.
“Go ahead. Cry. You were on the verge of breaking down in there, you’ve got to let some of it out or there’s no way you’re making it through any more classes today,” Dot said matter-of-factly. She held up a small packet of tissues. “So cry, please.”
Four let out a hollow laugh. “I’m not going to just start crying because you told me to, Dot.”
“It’ll help, trust me,” Dot urged, and her voice softened. “It’s okay to be upset, Link. Anyone would be with what you’ve got going on. Just cry for a bit, and then we can go back. We don’t even have to go to the nurse if you don’t want to.”
Four laughed again, but the sound was watery. “Dot, just because Tw-Twilight is in the, the hospital, doesn’t m-mean, I...”
For some reason saying it out loud made it all crash down on him, and Four’s voice broke.
He tried to keep talking, but his breath hitched, and suddenly he was crying instead, a sob hiccuping from his throat. Dot stayed quiet as she set a hand on his shoulder, and Four felt tears begin to drip down his cheeks.
She rubbed it a little bit, and Four hiccuped again, wishing in the back of his mind that he could split. Then only a fourth of him would be sobbing his eyes out in front of Dot, and this would be a little less embarrassing.
But his powers were secret, and supposed to stay that way. So Four continued to cry, Dot scooting over to sit more closely beside him, her hand warm on his shoulder.
He didn’t know how long they sat there, Dot patting his shoulder while he cried his eyes out, but it was long enough that he was sure their teacher would be suspicious.
“Y-you should go back,” Four finally said, shakily wiping his eyes on his sleeve. “You’ll be missed.”
“Oh don’t worry about that, I can just say you threw up on me and I had to clean myself up,” she shrugged, offering him a tissue. Four let out a watery snort, but took it, shakily blowing his nose. “Or that the nurse wanted to make sure you hadn’t infected me. Ooh, or maybe you were so delirious you begged me to stay at your side, and I was forced to forgo math in order to stop your feverish ramblings.”
“No way that would work as an excuse,” Four said, his voice still wobbling.
“It might, you never know.”
Four fondly shook his head, then sighed, feeling drained from all the crying he’d just done. He didn’t feel... better, exactly, but he felt less overwhelmed by it all. His head felt less cluttered at least, and he gave Dot a grateful look.
“Thanks Dot,” he said quietly, and she nodded, then gave him a quick hug.
“Of course. If you need to talk, or just... anything else, just ask, okay?”
Four nodded, and hugged her back. “Okay.”
They sat under the stairs a little while longer, trying to make Four look like he hadn’t spent the last half hour crying, and then Dot pulled him to his feet, and they went to the nurse’s office together. They at least needed an alibi for being gone so long, and it would be suspicious if Four was never seen going to the nurse. Even if he only felt sick because of worry.
Four sighed as they walked down the hallways, and Dot squeezed his hand, giving him a little smile. He somewhat succeeded in returning it, and his thoughts drifted back to Wild, and their argument.
As soon as he made it through the rest of the school day, he’d... try and talk to him. He owed Wild that much at least.
And... Twilight would want him to try.
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pizzaronipasta · 1 year ago
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READ THIS BEFORE INTERACTING
Alright, I know I said I wasn't going to touch this topic again, but my inbox is filling up with asks from people who clearly didn't read everything I said, so I'm making a pinned post to explain my stance on AI in full, but especially in the context of disability. Read this post in its entirety before interacting with me on this topic, lest you make a fool of yourself.
AI Doesn't Steal
Before I address people's misinterpretations of what I've said, there is something I need to preface with. The overwhelming majority of AI discourse on social media is argued based on a faulty premise: that generative AI models "steal" from artists. There are several problems with this premise. The first and most important one is that this simply isn't how AI works. Contrary to popular misinformation, generative AI does not simply take pieces of existing works and paste them together to produce its output. Not a single byte of pre-existing material is stored anywhere in an AI's system. What's really going on is honestly a lot more sinister.
How It Actually Works
In reality, AI models are made by initializing and then training something called a neural network. Initializing the network simply consists of setting up a multitude of nodes arranged in "layers," with each node in each layer being connected to every node in the next layer. When prompted with input, a neural network will propagate the input data through itself, layer by layer, transforming it along the way until the final layer yields the network's output. This is directly based on the way organic nervous systems work, hence the name "neural network." The process of training a network consists of giving it an example prompt, comparing the resulting output with an expected correct answer, and tweaking the strengths of the network's connections so that its output is closer to what is expected. This is repeated until the network can adequately provide output for all prompts. This is exactly how your brain learns; upon detecting stimuli, neurons will propagate signals from one to the next in order to enact a response, and the connections between those neurons will be adjusted based on how close the outcome was to whatever was anticipated. In the case of both organic and artificial neural networks, you'll notice that no part of the process involves directly storing anything that was shown to it. It is possible, especially in the case of organic brains, for a neural network to be configured such that it can produce a decently close approximation of something it was trained on; however, it is crucial to note that this behavior is extremely undesirable in generative AI, since that would just be using a wasteful amount of computational resources for a very simple task. It's called "overfitting" in this context, and it's avoided like the plague.
The sinister part lies in where the training data comes from. Companies which make generative AI models are held to a very low standard of accountability when it comes to sourcing and handling training data, and it shows. These companies usually just scrape data from the internet indiscriminately, which inevitably results in the collection of people's personal information. This sensitive data is not kept very secure once it's been scraped and placed in easy-to-parse centralized databases. Fortunately, these issues could be solved with the most basic of regulations. The only reason we haven't already solved them is because people are demonizing the products rather than the companies behind them. Getting up in arms over a type of computer program does nothing, and this diversion is being taken advantage of by bad actors, who could be rendered impotent with basic accountability. Other issues surrounding AI are exactly the same way. For example, attempts to replace artists in their jobs are the result of under-regulated businesses and weak worker's rights protections, and we're already seeing very promising efforts to combat this just by holding the bad actors accountable. Generative AI is a tool, not an agent, and the sooner people realize this, the sooner and more effectively they can combat its abuse.
Y'all Are Being Snobs
Now I've debunked the idea that generative AI just pastes together pieces of existing works. But what if that were how it worked? Putting together pieces of existing works... hmm, why does that sound familiar? Ah, yes, because it is, verbatim, the definition of collage. For over a century, collage has been recognized as a perfectly valid art form, and not plagiarism. Furthermore, in collage, crediting sources is not viewed as a requirement, only a courtesy. Therefore, if generative AI worked how most people think it works, it would simply be a form of collage. Not theft.
Some might not be satisfied with that reasoning. Some may claim that AI cannot be artistic because the AI has no intent, no creative vision, and nothing to express. There is a metaphysical argument to be made against this, but I won't bother making it. I don't need to, because the AI is not the artist. Maybe someday an artificial general intelligence could have the autonomy and ostensible sentience to make art on its own, but such things are mere science fiction in the present day. Currently, generative AI completely lacks autonomy—it is only capable of making whatever it is told to, as accurate to the prompt as it can manage. Generative AI is a tool. A sculpture made by 3D printing a digital model is no less a sculpture just because an automatic machine gave it physical form. An artist designed the sculpture, and used a tool to make it real. Likewise, a digital artist is completely valid in having an AI realize the image they designed.
Some may claim that AI isn't artistic because it doesn't require effort. By that logic, photography isn't art, since all you do is point a camera at something that already looks nice, fiddle with some dials, and press a button. This argument has never been anything more than snobbish gatekeeping, and I won't entertain it any further. All art is art. Besides, getting an AI to make something that looks how you want can be quite the ordeal, involving a great amount of trial and error. I don't speak from experience on that, but you've probably seen what AI image generators' first drafts tend to look like.
AI art is art.
Disability and Accessibility
Now that that's out of the way, I can finally move on to clarifying what people keep misinterpreting.
I Never Said That
First of all, despite what people keep claiming, I have never said that disabled people need AI in order to make art. In fact, I specifically said the opposite several times. What I have said is that AI can better enable some people to make the art they want to in the way they want to. Second of all, also despite what people keep claiming, I never said that AI is anyone's only option. Again, I specifically said the opposite multiple times. I am well aware that there are myriad tools available to aid the physically disabled in all manner of artistic pursuits. What I have argued is that AI is just as valid a tool as those other, longer-established ones.
In case anyone doubts me, here are all the posts I made in the discussion in question: Reblog chain 1 Reblog chain 2 Reblog chain 3 Reblog chain 4 Potentially relevant ask
I acknowledge that some of my earlier responses in that conversation were poorly worded and could potentially lead to a little confusion. However, I ended up clarifying everything so many times that the only good faith explanation I can think of for these wild misinterpretations is that people were seeing my arguments largely out of context. Now, though, I don't want to see any more straw men around here. You have no excuse, there's a convenient list of links to everything I said. As of posting this, I will ridicule anyone who ignores it and sends more hate mail. You have no one to blame but yourself for your poor reading comprehension.
What Prompted Me to Start Arguing in the First Place
There is one more thing that people kept misinterpreting, and it saddens me far more than anything else in this situation. It was sort of a culmination of both the things I already mentioned. Several people, notably including the one I was arguing with, have insisted that I'm trying to talk over physically disabled people.
Read the posts again. Notice how the original post was speaking for "everyone" in saying that AI isn't helpful. It doesn't take clairvoyance to realize that someone will find it helpful. That someone was being spoken over, before I ever said a word.
So I stepped in, and tried to oppose the OP on their universal claim. Lo and behold, they ended up saying that I'm the one talking over people.
Along the way, people started posting straight-up inspiration porn.
I hope you can understand where my uncharacteristic hostility came from in that argument.
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andydona-chan · 3 months ago
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Soulmates, AU!
The one where you get the words the person first tells you written on your skin on your birthday. The twist, it only lasts until you find that person so it can vary between a few hours and several months or years.
There's literally many selfies every day on the internet, with people displaying their soulmark in various degrees of concealment, just to keep record. From one word stamped on their forearm to long sentences or paragraphs.
It's what is keeping Katsuki in his room on his f*cking birthday. He refuses to leave the room. He has already spoken with Aizawa and sent messages to his friends so they could stay away from him, at least until it got solved, which he expected to happen in the next few hours of the day
He knows his case is probably a rare one, but he will not become a viral meme, nor will he allow anyone to make fun of him. He even called his parents to get the congratulations over with as soon as possible and made clear he wasn't going to dinner due to his current problem, though he mentioned that if it was solved quickly he might consider it.
Thank god he had bathed the previous night or he could have spent all day in the bathroom instead if he had gone straight there as he usually did, scrubbing at his skin trying to remove the words and knowing there was only one person who could rid him of this misery.
Because as soon as he woke up that morning, aware of what was supposed to happen, he knew he was in trouble. With bleary eyes still heavy with sleep, he noticed words on his left arm, but when he used his right hand to trace them, he noticed that one too was covered in words. Suddenly, he was very much awake. He saw the letters extending over both arms, and when he lifted his t-shirt, he saw them too.
He ran towards the mirror inside his closet and found his face also covered in scribbling, going down to his neck, and when he turned, it was also around his back!
Exasperated already, he slid his hands over his face, knowing exactly who would be connected to this. He tried to read the words using a smaller mirror that he usually had with him for multiple purposes and caught many interesting details about soulmarks and soulmates... well, at least it wasn't going to last for too long.
After learning that, he had purposefully not sent a message to Izuku, he knew the green haired boy was going to find an excuse to come find him as soon as he heard from this and would probably come and help him without being aware that he was the key to free him.
It didn't take that much time, considering it was lunch time by the time he heard knocking on his door. The worried voice of his longest acquaintance, past friend, turned rival, and apparently soulmate could be heard asking silly questions and sounding as if he wanted to spare him the embarrassment, how ironic.
He responded in short sentences and tried to act as his usual grumpy self, which was not too difficult, but he had to admit it was accompanied by a small level of fondness by now. So he cut it short and asked the other. What did he know about soulmates that could be helpful?
As expected, Izuku started to ramble, muttering away what he knew about the topic and going on tangents that made him shiver as if he could feel each word tingling on his skin as they were being spoken.
He had been able to read the last couple of words along with Izuku. They ended right above his navel so he could read them right and noticed how Izuku fell silent when he pronounced them. Sighing in defeat, he finally opened the door. The words were going to fade anyway once Izuku saw them, so better make it quick.
He was not expecting Izuku to snap a picture the moment he did, but it was okay. The look of surprise in his green eyes was worth the smirk on his face as he noticed the words dissolving on his skin like water, he rolled his eyes and signaling the other boy to enter his room, they needed to talk anyway.
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j0hb0y · 2 days ago
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Hiya Papaya! 👋
Someone online (I actually forgot who it was though and cannot find the message anymore) recommended to me Haibane Renmei with the quick summary of "It’s about a sort of afterlife where haibane need to figure out what to do to ascend.". I decided to give it a go, which was a good decision! I can really recommend you to watch it too! It's even better if you do that and then come back to this post and read the rest. However, I felt like this anime is not about "ascending" or "reincarnation". Personally, it's about moving forward with your life. (Spoiler warning obviously and I should mention that I have no clue about psychology and english isn't my first language, so I could confuse some phrasings.)
If you didn't watch it, let me clarify some small things:
There are angel-like people called the Haibane, born from cocoons, who cannot remember anything except for the dream they had just before.
The walls encase a town called Glie and some landscape with buildings (e.g. Old Home), forests and many plots of land
Nobody is allowed to touch the wall (or go even near it) or go behind the wall except the Toga and animals like birds (e.g. Crows which play a big role)
An organization called the Haibane Renmei takes care of the Haibane and their head is the communicator.
Being Sin-Bound means that a Haibane didn't have a dream and don't get their Day of Flight.
I'll also try to write this essay chronologically, so along what we learn in each episode.
So let's talk about my view on what story the anime is trying to tell. I believe Haibane Renmei talks about being able to take a step towards the future.
In episode 1 we learn that the one and only thing that the haibane remember is the dream they had before waking up in a cocoon, for example: falling, being surrounded by sparkling light, getting run over by a train or just sleeping. You can either interpret this as how they died or their plan to end their lives. In my opinion, it's the latter one because it makes more sense why they arrive in Glie and inside the walls separating the town from the outside world. We'll talk about it at a later point. So, the Cocoon represents coming out of their shell and getting help on their own. That's why it's a custom that one should break out of their own cocoon. It's like the haibane has regained their will to live and tries to improve their lives by getting help. Which is quite a tough thing to do. The part where a haibane doesn't remember anything besides the dream and getting a new name could be seen as a metaphor for restarting from zero and leaving the regrets (or anything similar) behind.
During episode 2 we also learn that there are not just angel-like Haibane in Glie, but instead they are allowed to stay by the normal people living there. The townsfolk are really nice people too, so I think these people personify a safe space where the Haibane can work and get back into a rhythm and normalcy. Additionally, in episode 4, Kana also mentions that the town is extremely protective of them, further strengthening this argument. This idea of Glie as a safe space is also represented by the communicator, who helps the Haibane and has them live in a controlled space so they can focus more on moving forward.
The next big thing that happens in this anime is Kuu having her Day of Flight (episode 6). I believe that this event is a signal that the Haibane has finally "solved"/worked out their problem and broke free of it. From my point of view, it seemed like Kuu figured out that she doesn't need to be like everybody else. The first clothing item she bought was a jacket in a larger size, the size of the other girls. She also tried to be like them by wearing Hikari's glasses or riding Reki's scooter. However, Kuu said to Rakka "You gave me some of the drops, Rakka.". Drops were filling a cup (in her mind) and it got completely full. On that same day, Kuu had her Day of Flight. In episode 3, Kuu said that she hoped that Rakka would be a little sister and seemed happy when Rakka called her senior. I think that made her realize that she doesn't need to be like everyone else; she can be herself and still be a senior. Kana also confirmed that in episode 6 by saying that "I think she no longer has to pretend to be what she isn't anymore." and "[...] but maybe she's grown up in her own way.". Meaning she's able to move forward towards the future. Having her Day of Flight. After Kuu had left, the only thing that remained was a few feathers and her halo. This can be a metaphor for stripping off that feeling that she's not like others. Like she's regained her humanity and not feel alienated.
Sadly, Rakka couldn't get over Kuu leaving and is in a really depressed state (episode 7). So much so that black spots appeared on her wings, which Reki recognized. This is where we learn about being sin-bound. (Note: I'm jumping between the crow and sin-bound themes since both of them are deeply connected) I think that being sin-bound signals someone that has given up or is about to. In episode 8, Rakka is led by crows to a well to meet someone. That someone is a skeleton of a crow. However, she recognizes the bird by saying "You've taken the form of a bird now, but it feels like I had known you from somewhere, a long time ago.". Furthermore, she adds "I can't even remember my name. [...] So I can't remember who you are. Except that you're somebody precious to me. I was always lonely. And I thought nobody would grieve, even if I was gone. So I wanted to disappear. But you were by my side. You became a bird to go over the walls and let me know that I was not alone." These sentences give us a lot of information. She wants to disappear. She even thought/dreamed "My existence should be erased from the world.", when she was unconscious in the well. Due to her feeling lonely, she thought that she didn't belong in this world. That's why it hit her so hard when Kuu left.
The crows play a huge role in the anime too. In episode 4, Kana said these things about the crows "They're said to carry lost items.", "Things we left behind and forgot when we went into the cocoons." and Kuu also talked with Rakka about them in episode 3 "But I think they want to be friends with us.". It seems to me that the crows represent someone or something that is connected to past regrets/problems. But instead of being hurtful, they're trying to help so that the Haibane can be free again. Free from being sin-bound. That is why the crows led Rakka to the well. This thesis is further proven by the fact that Rakka wants to return to her dream and apologize to the crow (episode 9), which is directly followed by the communicator saying "One who recognizes their own sin, has no sin." Side note: They also talk about sin-bound itself, that "Perhaps that is what it means to be bound by sin. To keep going around in the same circle looking to find where the sin lies and at some point losing the sight of the way out." When Rakka got back to Old Home, Reki noticed that the black spots were completely gone. Meaning that Rakka is no longer sin-bound and has let go of her past regrets, she actually confirms this at the end of the episode too.
Speaking of Reki, she's another sin-bound. That's the reason why she knew so much and was able to help Rakka this often. Since Rakka has recovered, she and the communicator got to have a talk in episode 11 about Reki. There she learns that "She is still lost in the dark. Rakka, you had the bird come to you enabling you to fill in the missing pieces of your memories. However, Reki has no one. She must face the darkness in her mind, on her own." From what we learn throughout the last 3 episodes, I'm positive that Reki's regret is similar, if not the same as Rakka's regret. Reki is alone but, in contrast to Rakka, she felt betrayed by everyone "Every time I trusted someone, I always ended up being betrayed." (episode 13) because everyone leaves her side. When Kuu had her Day of Flight, she said to herself "In the end, everybody leaves me.", just like when Kuramori (a Haibane who took care of her) was gone or she and Hyouko (a Haibane from the Abandoned Factory nest) weren't allowed to go to each other's district. She was afraid to hurt somebody she trusts and get hurt by them. As a result, she stopped trusting everybody and became a "stone" by closing her heart (episode 13). Even Rakka noticed that in episode 11 "Because she doesn't want to worry anyone and because she doesn't want to lean on anyone, she just smiles.". In the last episode (13), Reki also remembers her dream; in that dream, Reki is run over by a train: "It's an iron rail that carries something. This is where... I abandoned myself.". So not only has she "[...] lost the people that she could share her sorrow with.", but also herself. Additionally, her time is limited as she was ready to vanish, leaving nothing. "Soon, I will be forgotten by everybody and vanish. Where did I go wrong?" And if she was not rescued and forgiven by Rakka, she would've gotten hit by that train. She would've died if she hadn't found the last remaining energy to call for help. To put it bluntly, this is a direct comparison to suicide. Reki had given up on her life and wanted to end it because "[...] no matter how much I wished for it no salvation has ever come to me!". She was afraid that no one would come to her aid if she asked for help. But at the same time, Reki didn't want to die. She wanted to be just like Kuramori, helping the newly hatched Haibane and that's why she called for Rakka and was "forgiven". Rakka found the answer to the question of the circle of sin (episode 12): "The one who recognizes one's own sin has no sin. You cannot help going in circles if you are alone, but if you have someone by your side..." and together they broke free and both of them were no longer sin-bound. The same night Reki had her Day of Flight.
So what happens after the Day of Flight? For that, we got to talk about the walls that encase Glie. We go a few episodes back, specifically episode 9, when Rakka touched the wall because she heard laughter coming from it. Rakka even recognized it as Kuu's voice. Then she has another conversation with the communicator and we learn that "Only those whom the walls recognized as ready to live outside may go beyond the walls." which implies that the Day of Flight is someone ready to live a normal life again. However, Rakka falls ill shortly after (but this time it's not because of being sin-bound). In episode 10 we learn from the communicator that "Even a good Haibane must be punished if she touches the wall.". I think that the walls are a metaphor for a limit and you should not overstep or push too hard to get back on track. I firmly believe that the walls also act as a reminder to take your time to heal, let go of regrets, ask for forgiveness and when you're ready, aka the day of flight, you can go outside and go towards the future.
While working inside the walls (to collect light leaves), Rakka has to wear a robe as protection. I imagine this acts as guidance to avoid overstepping the limit too. Inside the walls there are tags on walls with names written on them. In episode 12 we get to understand that these are the names of the Haibane. Furthermore, the communicator explains "It is proof that the Haibane attained a true identity. When the time comes the name on the tag hanging from the wall is changed to the true name." I'm positive that its meaning is that the Haibane is not someone new, but rather the Haibane did (re)find their real selves. The real self who was lost and can move towards the future.
Of course there are some things that I cannot interpret or some that don't really fit, for example, the Toga (people who come from outside the walls to do trade and only the communicator is allowed to talk to them) or sentences like "As you cannot remember the world you used to be in... nobody in this world remembers you.". However, it's stated that "[...] The creators have deliberately maintained this ambiguity and refused to elaborate on these points in interviews, with Yoshitoshi Abe stating he doesn't want to impose his personal views on the viewers."(Source: Wikipedia) and I'm misusing that as an excuse to not be able to explain everything, hehe.
To put it in a nutshell, given the arguments above, the safe space being Glie, being sin-bound represents giving up and from what we learn of the walls. I'm firmly convinced that anime's key motif is going forward and not reincarnation. Anyway, I'm grateful to you for reading my thoughts and opinions! And I hope that you'll share yours with me. :D
On a side note: The communicator leaves Reki alone after their conversation in episode 10 with the following sentences: "You have always been there for Rakka. You have been doing the right thing. And now, you must not be envious of Rakka for moving forward.".
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acciotherapists · 3 months ago
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Far From Home (Chapter 63: A Dying Universe)
Loki x Reader
Y/n Y/l/n never thought her past would come back to find her. After all who would look for her on Midgard? But one day in the small town of Puento Antiguo her world is turned upside down when an old friend turns up, threatening everything she has built and the people she’d fought so hard to protect. What happens when the life she left behind finally catches up with her? What happens when the old flame she thought had burned out reignites within her?
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My brain felt fuzzy as I woke, trying to take in my surroundings.
“She’s waking up.” I heard Wanda’s voice… no, not Wanda… her. The witch. I wasn’t safe at home, sleeping in my bed. The arms around my body felt strange. They weren’t Loki’s. They weren’t home. I stirred, moving in the strange embrace, unsure of what… or who was holding me. My eyes fluttered open, locking onto the figure above me. Stephen Strange. Suddenly the memories fell into place. Wanda’s voice in my head, the eyes that were no longer hers. I stumbled away from Stephen, breathing heavily as I tried to get my bearings.
“Darling-.”
“Shut up!” I hissed, interrupting him. 
Wanda was watching me carefully as I fought back my tears. “Did you let them go?” I asked her and she nodded.
“So long as you keep your end of the deal… they will remain unharmed.”
I nodded, sighing as I realized this was now my life. “Care to give me a tour?” I looked around. “This place looks different from the sanctum I’m familiar with.”
“I suppose that’s what happens when a world is destroyed,” he said sadly, looking around the crumbling sanctum.
“I want to rest… It's been ages since I’ve been able to sleep without being afraid.” In reality I wanted to sleep to try and communicate with my friends back home.
He seemed sad as he looked up at me. “You were afraid?”
I scoffed. “You manipulated my dreams… sent me to a dying universe. What did you expect?”
He said nothing; he simply signaled to Wanda to bring me upstairs.
She led me to a room that clearly belonged to someone else but I said nothing. I have to get home. 
“Do you think… in time… you’ll learn to like it here?”
I looked up at the witch as she spoke, noting the dark circles under her eyes, the fear within them.
I shrugged. “Perhaps.”
The witch opened the door, leading me into an unfamiliar bedroom. “Stephen thought you might want your own room for a bit… to adjust. When you’re ready you’ll move into his room.”
“I’ll never be ready,” I spat.
I could see tears forming in her eyes and I sighed. “I’m sorry… it’s just… you have to understand how difficult this is for me. I left my home… my family… the man I love.”
She sighed.
“I loved him, Wanda. I get that that’s not what you want to hear but it’s true. I spent years running… trying to keep him safe, and we were finally back together. I get that you want me to fall in love with Stephen but I didn’t love him in my universe. Our relationship was simply that of a friend, nothing more.” My eyes lock with hers. “You chose the wrong Y/n. Out of all the options… why choose me? The one who wasn’t in love with any version of Stephen Strange?”
She smiled, seeming lost in the memory. “He knew it would be difficult… we looked for years… but of all the versions we found… you were the one we chose.”
“Why?”
She shrugged. “You were the one he fell in love with… and when I saw the way you protected the Wanda from your universe… it reminded me of our Y/n.”
“You know this can’t last… this universe won’t last forever. It’s crumbling around us.”
“Stephen is holding it together for now… and when the time comes… we’ll make a home somewhere else. We’re the Scarlet and Sapphire Witches. There’s nothing we can’t solve.”
“I’m not the Sapphire Witch!” I hiss.
She flinches and I take a breath, calming myself.
“I’d like to rest… alone.”
She nods and makes her way toward the door. “The door locks from the inside… you’re not a prisoner here.”
With that she leaves the room and I quickly lock the door behind her. I make my way toward the bed, crawling beneath the covers. Wind whipped against the windows before settling to a quiet hum and I closed my eyes, praying to whoever might be listening that I dreamed of something useful.
************
Taglist:
@nelachu2423
@purplekitten30
@lokisprettygirl22
@huntress-artemiss
@lokis-little-love
@lokis-tigress
@the-archangel-in-asgard
@crimson25
@thedistractedagglomeration
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thepanicsquid · 1 year ago
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How Unmanaged ADHD Almost Killed Half the Universe: A Peter Quill Character Analysis
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First, a disclaimer: I'm not a professional anything. I genuinely don’t even know how to use Tumblr but I needed somewhere to get weird about my hyperfixations where the normies can’t see. 😅 I can't diagnose anyone with anything, and I'm not saying that Peter Quill was written as an intentional representation of ADHD. I am just a person who was diagnosed in adulthood with ADHD who loves and relates to Peter Quill. This is just my interpretation of him through the lens of my own experiences. Also, this is (hyper)focused on the MCU version of the character.
Impulsivity, Risk Taking, and Emotional Dysregulation
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Ok, so this is the big one. We know that Peter has massive impulsivity issues. This is how to works in an ADHD brain (from additudemag.com): "The thalamus area of the brain controls response inhibition. It works like a gate — sending signals to allow or stop behaviors. When the brain detects a red flag, its limbic-hippocampal connections relay a warning from the thalamus to the frontal cortex. That’s the control center of the brain that handles emotional expression and problem solving. In ADHD brains, the thalamus gate is broken." So let's look at some examples by movie.
Vol. 1
He goes back for his walkman when it's been stolen from him at the Kyln, even though they're currently breaking out of a high security prison because of an impulsive, emotional reaction. He also gives Gamora his mask when she's floating out in space, with the hope that calling Yondu will also save him (impulsivity involves a lack of foresight). His bragging about how selfless it was afterwards to Gamora came across as arrogant, but it was probably also him realizing himself that things could have gone very differently because people with ADHD don't tend to think ahead. Finally, he banks on his 12% of a plan being enough to defeat Ronin. Peter thinks ahead *just* enough but struggles to see things through to completion. And then at the end he just does the first things he can think to do - a dance off and then grabbing the same stone that he had just watched tear a woman apart.
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Vol. 2
When he learns that Ego killed his mother, his anger completely overtakes him and he shoots his father immediately, once again reacting emotionally and impulsively.
Infinity War
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This is the one that hurts, because it shows how devastating unmanaged ADHD symptoms can be. When he learns that Thanos killed Gamora, he literally can't control his emotions because his brain doesn't work that way and he's never had the tools to manage it, and he impulsively beats Thanos without any thought for the consequences. It always broke my heart to see him villainized for this because I knew it would be my exact reaction in his shoes. Peter always acts from his heart, for better or worse, and in that moment, his pain overwhelmed any logical thought. As an aside, I've found that this is one of the hardest parts of being late-diagnosed. You look back on all the times where you can't quite explain rationally why you did the thing you did and start to understand why and there’s a whole lot of shame involved in it (more on shame later!)
Vol. 3
"Kill them all" Peter spends an entire scene telling Drax they're not going to kill anyone, because that's who Peter Quill is. He's compassionate and empathetic, but once he gets angry, once he's hurt, all that goes out the window. Literally! He grabs Theel and jumps out of the window towards a dying planet! People with ADHD tend to have low frustration tolerance, impatience, a hot temper, and excitability. So, in addition to jumping into an exploding planet...
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Forgetfulness, Music, and Dopamine Hunting
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Because the reward center doesn't produce enough dopamine in the ADHD brain, boring tasks like cleaning are painful. Our brains don't give us any sort of satisfaction for doing it, so there's very little motivation to do it. The Milano is a mess, of course it is! Cleaning isn't interesting or rewarding and even if we want to live in a clean environment, we're constantly at war with our own brain over having to make it that way. When he gets back from Morag, he's forgotten Bereet's even THERE. People with ADHD struggle with their working memory, meaning that if a thing isn't right in front of them, they tend to forget about it. We also know that Quill's a bit of a womanizer, and that impulsive, pleasure seeking behavior is one of the ways that people with ADHD try to up their dopamine levels. People with ADHD tend to have issues with alcohol and drug abuse as well, since they stimulate the pleasure center of the brain, and we know that Peter uses alcohol heavily to cope after losing Gamora.
Speaking of the pleasure center of the brain, music triggers it, and we know my guy cannot do anything without music on. And for most of his life it was the SAME 12 SONGS (hyperfixation?). Not only that, but familiar music (or tv shows, or movies) can provide a sort of white noise that let's people with ADHD focus better. Peter loves music because it reminds him of his mom, sure, but also because it helps him get shit done because otherwise his thoughts would be all over the place in silence. Plus dancing is a great way to stim and get that extra energy out.
Masking, Rejection and Identity
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People with ADHD also often deal with Rejection Sensitivity Disorder, where they are extra sensitive to real or imagined rejection. We don't see *too* much of this, but there are hints of it. Like his interpretation of the night his mother died. His grandfather carried him out of the room to protect him, but he interpreted it as getting thrown out. He took Yondu's joking about wanting to eat him literally. He panics at the idea that Gamora might be rejecting him for Thor (who is, as everyone points out to him, the real version of the person he pretends to be). He also can't accept the Other Gamora's rejection of him. Part of the way he protects himself is by creating a persona that can handle rejection.
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Masking is more commonly associated with ASD than ADHD, but people with ADHD can still mask to try to hide their ADHD symptoms. And truthfully, if you're a human kid trying to survive around a bunch of aliens, the only hope you've got is to try to fit in anyway. Peter's entire persona is what he *thinks* a cool space pirate should be like. He creates this Star-lord persona based on his heros growing up. But where Han Solo is genuine in his confidence and swagger, with Quill, it's an act. He's a sensitive, emotional kid that had to develop this mask to survive being raised by the Ravagers. It crumbles when he meets Thor and sees himself next to the sort of person he's trying to be and just how insecure Peter is. And we see over and over again that he's most successful when he lets the mask drop and leads with empathy and compassion. Every single Guardian started as his enemy, but Peter, unlike Han, doesn't shoot first. At his core, he is still that little boy who got into a fight with the other kids for killing an innocent frog. A lot of people with ADHD feel stuck in arrested development and Peter Quill is still a kid playing pretend in a lot of ways.
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I think Quill is a much more layered and interesting character than people tend to give him credit for because he masks TOO well. People look at him and see a boring white dude. Handsome and confident just like all of the other MCU leading men...but it's because that's what he wants you to see. Because if you saw what a mess he was underneath all of that you'd understand why his family are these other neurodivergent weirdos. He might be pretending to be "Star-lord", but there's a reason his best friends are Rocket and Drax.

I think the heartbreak of Vol. 3 is that he had started to figure out who he was with Gamora because she grounded him but he wound up tying too much of that progress to her. He can't go back to the person he was (Legendary Outlaw Star-lord) because that was never truly him, and facing the world without that safety net is too hard. So he chases the dopamine. He drinks, he tries to convince the other Gamora to be with him, he even briefly turns to Nebula, because he's never really had to face himself. Mantis says that Drax is the only one of the Guardians who doesn't hate himself, and in spite of his outward confidence, I think that includes Peter. Peter loves the Outlaw Star-lord persona, he loves the Guardian Star-lord he became with Gamora, but deep down, he's sensitive and driven by emotions he can't control and he's ashamed of that. Remember, he was raised by Yondu who constantly derided him for his sentimentality and he was blamed for the Blip because of an emotional reaction he didn't have the tools to control. The qualities that helped him create a family out of a group of criminals are the same ones that cause him to screw up and cause him shame. Which is pretty much what having ADHD can feel like.
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So there is is! I'm sure I've missed stuff and some of this is just character analysis regardless of ADHD, but there it is. Also, definitely check out @peter-quill-is-so-fine ‘s breakdown of Quill's report card that inspired all this for further evidence.
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theresattrpgforthat · 1 year ago
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Mint Reviews: Eureka Investigative Urban Fantasy, by @anim-ttrpgs
The following is a review for Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy, a game currently in playtesting, set to be put up onto Kickstarter later this year. I received the playtest copy of the game in exchange for this review.
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Eureka is a game about solving mysteries in an urban fantasy setting. It's meant to be dangerous and constantly keeping you guessing. The copy that I reviewed is a playtest copy, which is important to keep in mind for two reasons. One, because I was reviewing it before it's been subjected to proper layout, and addition of art. Two, because there may be changes to the game that alter the play experience that I would be expecting from this initial read-through. I certainly expect the authors to change or include new things before releasing the final version.
The mechanics of Eureka centre on rolling 2d6 and adding a modifier somewhere between -3 and +3. Your result will be one of three options: a Full Success, a Partial Success, or a Failure. Characters are made up of composite parts: you will have traits that give your character modifiers or special abilities, as well as two different health tracks, an Investigation Points Track, character morale/composure, and a list of gear.
Some of the central mechanics outside of the graded success of action roles involve Character Truths and the Investigation Track. Character Truths are personality quirks that tell you something core to your investigator, and reward role-play that is true to the character even if strategically it's a bad option.
As your characters look for clues, they will collect Investigation points every time they uncover a clue or fail a roll. Once they fill their Investigation track, they get something called a Eureka - a resource that gives the player the chance to tilt the narrative in their favour.
Damage in this game is layered: your characters have Superficial HP, and Penetrative HP. These tracks work interdependently of each-other, with Superficial HP bleeding into Penetrative HP if it fills up first. If you are familiar with the bashing damage and lethal damage of World of Darkness games, this system should be very familiar.
Stars:
The setting is very interesting and flexible, which means that if your group is very interested in urban fantasy, but you don't want to learn all of the big systems out there, Eureka is an option that only requires you to learn one system.
The game is designed to elevate suspense; the GM and the players are encouraged to keep secrets from each-other, and combat is often lethal.
The Woo Roll: a mechanic in gun combat that gives your characters some interesting moments when shooting a gun: after all, bullets don't just hit people, they also hit leaking pipes, fire extinguishers, innocent bystanders....
Wishes:
This game has a lot of rules (which is not necessarily a bad thing). There are three chapters dedicated to different kinds of combat and 2-3 chapters that need to be read to understand how characters work. As a result, however, I wish there was an index, to make finding pieces of information easier.
I wish there were more safety tools available in this game. I'm in the camp of preferring safety tools regardless of table or genre, but especially in horror games and games with suspense, there are elements of Eureka that could very easily trouble players who don't know what they've signed up for. The game encourages players to keep secrets from each-other, and prompts the GM to surprise the players with the kinds of horror that could be just around the corner. This isn't to say that a horror game shouldn't have some kind of surprise involved, but having a detailed Session 0 to talk about what is or is not on the table for everyone involved, as well as a method to signal that something in game is crossing Lines, would go so far here.
There are recommendations about what the characters should avoid playing (cops, FBI agents, etc.), but I found very little guidance about what kinds of characters should consider. I'd have loved to see some pre-generated suggestions for reasons as to why the characters are working together, especially because players are asked to create characters that want to work together, not characters that are ready to fight each-other given the opportunity.
Other Notes:
This is not Powered by the Apocalypse, and I think it's important to recognize that if you're thinking about buying Eureka. The rolls take inspiration from many PbtA games in that you roll 2d6 and get a staggered success, but the game is not designed for generative play. PbtA games ask you to play to find out what happens, but Eureka is designed to run pre-written modules, where the clues are thought of beforehand and the answers have already been determined. I read the dice rules and thought this game was PbtA, but once I saw the detail to which the authors explained how to use skills and handle combat, I felt like this game was actually closer to something like Chronicles of Darkness.
This game requires a lot of preparation, especially for the GM. If you are running this game, you will need to co-ordinate the character creation for each player separately, as the game recommends that the players not know what is going on inside other character sheets. It also requires you to convert the NPCs and villains from other adventures into Eureka's stats, because NPCs in this game roll just like PCs do.
This game lives on secrets. There are fantastical options in this game but the author recommends that the GM keeps much of the magical elements secret from the players. If there is a monstrous character, they are expected to keep that secret even from other players at the table - at least until a dramatically appropriate moment.
For me, I don't think I am the target audience for Eureka. There is a lot of guidance in this book for specific situations and expected problems at the table, which might be helpful for GMs that prefer planning to improv or for GMs that are unsure about how to adjudicate certain questions at the table. However, I feel like the 2d6 mechanic feels so close to PbtA for me that I think I would have a hard time separating my play patterns cultivated from PbtA play in order to run this game the way I would run a game like Chronicles of Darkness.
I understand why pvp conflict in a horror game might not be what the party wants, especially if the entire group needs to be on the same page to defeat a larger horror, but if the characters are discovering as they play that one of them is using very different talents and skills, the response to react with distrust or hostility is a very likely event - and the lack of moves to play through interesting character conflicts would make resolving those reactions very tricky for me.
Conclusion
If you are interested in games that encourage secret keeping and hidden agendas, and if you like games with a bit of crunch and freedom to character creation, Eureka might be worth checking out. If you prefer Powered-by-the-Apocalypse style games that focus on generative play, I recommend looking at something a little different.
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sidewayspeace444 · 1 year ago
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Sideways, I’ve been thinkin, how long do you think this charade is going to last? Honestly, do you think there is another path meant to him? I like reading the tarot cards, and I swear to god, everytime I try to read for him the tower card shows up, in the advice position I also see someone uncomfortable and tired but also desperate, trying to solve things. As for her I get mixed up signals, like she seems comfortable but not completely fulfilled, like something is missing. What do u think?
the tower card is apparently a thing in his destiny, I don’t know why, but every time I concentrate on his energy and read the tarot the card show up.
A tower moment is not a bad thing. At least not to me 🥹 we are watching a 20+ year long foundation crumble, because it’s this is the year of Karma. We received the second paparazzi walk during Mercury RX and that was during a sign of Saturn (big lessons) it was pretty clear he sold his friends out to benefit himself during that time and they were upset. I don’t think they’ll invite him again.
Right now starting Jan 1st, 2024 we are in the year of Karma. No matter what he or she does, the truth will always come to light about the shenanigans behind closed doors. We can clearly see it’s fake now, right? Karma. We can see he’s miserable, right? Karma. He brought this upon himself.
The tower moment started in 2022, which will continue until he learns his lesson and starts cutting ties. At the end of the day the Universe will either allow you to grow on your own, or hit you with something big that forces you to grow. He’s lost respect from a 20 year old fan base, Hollywood, and the general public. Until he gets his act in order he can’t rebuild properly until ✂️
I think there’s something beautiful about a Tower moment. It’s one of my favorite cards because it means change, and sometimes change is inevitable. It’s just like the 10 of Swords. You’ve felt trapped by the 8 of swords, anxiety with 9 of swords, then the final sword stabs your back and you’re onto the next chapter.
As for Alba the industry plant side of her will die. Why? You need to water plants with love and attention to thrive, and nobody gives a shit about her. She’s an irrelevant nobody with bad style and stringy hair.
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eric-the-bmo · 6 months ago
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The Neighborhood Watch Recap, s3 ep12: Rewind
[Summary: The Cast breaks into the casino once more. John bites a demon, Song fights her mom, and we have plenty of time to solve our problems.]
Last we left off, the Cast learned about the lore of the town. In this season finale, they make and enact a plan to stop Song's mother, Melody. ----------------------
We discuss how to enter the casino; Song asks her dad Grayson, the head of security, for advice- he says he can make some calls to his own men about it. We can brute force our way into the casino, Louis suggests, and while John has himself as a weapon Song offers her own secret weapon stash for him to grab from.
Grayson returns from his calls and says one of his guys can get us in through the casino's connected hotels and through some hidden tunnels- but the place is full of nameless guards (the librarian's creations), so we'll have to take them out. This causes a quick debate on if it's morally correct to kill them or not, and if they count as people. We settle on trying not to kill them. We eventually craft a plan:
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As we head to Song's house to pick up some weapons, she gets suddenly nauseous, but the moment passes. Louis is concerned, but Song says we should press on. She shows off her weapon storage, and we all pick some: Grayson takes some brass knuckles, and John takes a crossbow.
We all hop in deceased Gerald's van, and Louis's the only one who can reasonably drive us. We all head over to The Vault casino. A few miles away from there, Song gets a sharp pain in her forehead; but a sudden surge of power goes through her, and it goes away. She blinks her eyes momentarily, and for a moment they're purple. John rolls to Investigate that- the last time he saw her with purple eyes was when she had used the magic her mother had given her. Song does some divination with the help of Louis giving her some cards- Queen of Spades (Melody), Ten of Clubs/Ten of Hearts (the twenty people/sacrifices), and the Two of Diamonds (two people with the same power becoming one (Song and her mother)). In short, this magic Song was given by her mother to ensure the ritual was addictive, and she's kinda going through withdrawal atm. She explains what's going on, and how there's a bit of a link now, and wonders what will happen once Melody is dead- Louis says to worry about it when we get there.
We pull up to the catering entrances of the hotel and Grayson manages to get us in, though the guard tells us to hurry up, tossing us disguises. We now look like wait staff <3 No one pays us much attention, and we're lead into a dimly lit hallway. The guard leaves us; Song can sense Melody's presence, and reasons she shouldnt use magic for a bit just in case that alerts her mother.
We head down the hall and see 3 guards patrolling by on the other side of a door that leads to one of the rooms we were in earlier; two walk down the halls back and forth, while one guards the elevator entrance. Markus sends out some bugs to crawl in and paralyze them, and with the way they land, the guards can't get a good look at us as we walk by. We blindfold and tie them up with zipties, just in case. Grayson signals to us to put them in an interrogation room, and Markus steals an elevator keycard from them before we lock them away. Now we can get up to the 3rd floor (melody's office), but we still need the sub-basement key.
Grayson tells us Grant is probably in the camera room at this time, so we head down to the security HQ on this floor. The guards here in this sector work for Grayson, though, so we get by with no issue (Grayson lies and says he's giving his daughter and her friends a tour). We hear Mr Grant from inside: "Just a few more tapes and we can correct this". Markus uses their Jinx ability to try and get the man's key card without hurting him- Mr Grant is busy, telling the guard he's with to "get it back before she notices," bc his job is on the line. Mr Grant decides to do it himself and knocks the guy outta the chair, and Song uses telepathy to see what he's trying to do: turns out he's trying to hide footage of what happened the night before due to our escapades, including footage of the cul-de-sac fight and a cleanup crew (and it turns out the mailman survived). Markus grabs the key card that Mr Grant dropped, and we dip.
The elevator opens up, and we hide quickly in an interrogation room; Melody and Mr Dark appear with guards and they seem to be aware Song is nearby, and so their Plan A can continue. (we piece together that these rooms and this hall can block magical signals, and debate making a break for it). The two beings start looking through the rooms, slowly coming towards us, and Melody seems to be counting on Song being so in magic withdrawal she'll come crawling back to her- but Song's chill rn.
They get close, and we almost enact our plan to trap them inside a room- but then Mr Grant shows up, and seems to want to lead them away from the monitor room/away from where we are. Dark comments plans are going smoothly, and Melody informs Grant of her daughter's presence; he offers to check the cameras, and Melody and Dark turn to leave. John and Louis rock-paper-scissors to see who will cause a distraction to lure them back over, but Song says she can use telepathy instead.
It works, and the two rush over with their guards- Grayson kicks open the door and slams Mr Dark in the face. John grabs the demon with a roll of 14. The guards draw pistols and Markus and Grayson take care of that [Grayson clocks Grant across the skull], while Louis and Song try to grab Melody- Song is unnerved over a lot, and Louis avoids a kick from the mage. John bites Mr Dark, whos face is bleeding black ichor, and flings him into the room after taking a chunk out of his neck. John's face is covered in the black ichor.
We all hold Melody in place save for Song, who keeps rolling low and is having a Time; Grayson moves her outta the way, and bear hugs Melody as a way to grab her (he's visibly trying not to crush her). He tosses her into the room, and John slams the door shut. He spits out some of the demon blood- it tastes disgusting. Song hands him a hankerchief.
The monitor room opens- a guard. Louis shoots him and uses a chair from there to keep the door shut, and we head into the elevator to get to where we need to go: Floor 4B. It takes a while to get there.
[We try to make conversation on the ride, and it's silly and fun. We're friends :-) ]
The elevator opens up to a massive cavern. A path slopes down, and red dust is patterned/drawn into a ritual circle. Several people are digging into stone here, including some controlled townspeople- Sammy's there, which is weird bc Heath said he was at home?? Anyway, Song jams the elevator open so no one else can use it/come down here without going down the shaft. She observes the ritual circle, and it's for the Fate Spell from the book she looked at earlier. She tries to disrupt it as Markus paralyzes some of the townspeople so they stop working (and Louis tries to knock out the rest). Bob Patterson goes by and drops some loose stone into a seemingly bottomless pit, and Louis discovers that since the townspeople are technically already asleep, the knockout plan doesnt work- so down into the pit he goes.
Markus realizes their bugs aren't working. A rumble- dirt falls from the ceiling and a hole opens up, and Mr Dark floats down with Melody. His neck is slowly healing, and he implies that since he made the anti-magic field in that hall, it didnt affect him. Melody yells insults at Song, saying how dare she work against her family, that's not what she was made for! The pain happens again, and Song knows that if she gets close to Melody it'll go away. She fights it.
The townspeople all walk towards the ritual circle, taking their places. John picks up a pickaxe- We all panic, and have an OOC discussion- Song, with the vague psychic link, tries to siphon power from her mother to take the Fate Ritual for herself and use it instead of Melody. Melody gradually realizes what's happening.
Meanwhile Mr Dark tries to get to John, but a roar echoes from the pit- the demon stops. We're going to have company.
Song has enough magical energy, powerful and immense, and she has the ability to use the Fate Spell.
She casts it, wish a wish to undo her mother's plans- the circle starts to glow, and the people get pushed out.
(We hear a noise- Bob Patterson has apparently climbed out of the pit with a hunting knife.)
A creature with a large and white segmented body and red insect eyes crawls out and roars again- a giant centipede.
The last ritual circle lights up, and we're all engulfed with a bright light. -----
The Main Cast are in an open field. It's the afternoon; bugs are chirping, the wind is warm, and no one else is around. We're still in Greenville, in the spot of land where the casino used to be. Song feels faint.
Markus has no cell service, so they can't call their sister to ask about the casino/if this has affected the townspeople's memories. Actually, no one has cell service except for John, who has a flip phone. He goes to hand it to Markus, but then notices the date:
July 20th, 1999.
Notes:
I did not beta read this at all ur getting my pure word vomit
I love heists so much! It's the planning aspect, I think ☆
"Plan Smack-a-Bitch" was so great I love it here
John biting a demon's neck out and then getting covered in black ichor is so incredibly sexy of him /lh
I actually adored our elevator banter <3 John offered to teach Markus to work out bc he didn't understand a social cue and it ended with us all being like "yeah we're found family I think"
GO SONG THATS SO COOL OF YOU. YOUR MOM SUCKS.
like fr she only had you to use u as a power vessel for this spell? What the hell, Melody.
John having a flip phone saves the day yayy!
HEY. HEY???? how is this gonna work oh my god. This is some Monkey's Paw shenanigans. The spell sent us back in time to change fate Ourselves. Cmon /lh
We did the math, right, and in '99 Louis was 11, Markus and Song weren't born yet (Song Finally has a canonical age now), and John... might be around in the woods somewhere? So John might run into himself 👀
Louis immediately began to complain about how now all his suits are outta fashion and John was all "are you serious rn" /lh
My boys so far away from shelby ;-;
Next season is all about Markus! Hell yeah, baby!
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rondoel · 2 years ago
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Actually some more thoughts about base game while we’re at it, my personal favourite moment
Literally, shotout to the bestest most climatic and atmosphere heavy sequence  which for me was going into Dark Bramble after getting escape pods’ frequency, with intention of finding Feldspar/source of the harmonica I then still wasn’t sure the meaning of or what would I even find there.
The switching between spooky unsettling escape pod signal and the familiar homely harmonica was just so climatic - I remember my heart literally hammering in my chest because I had no idea what I would find there but I knew it’s gonna be something important.
Back then I still thought Bramble would be the piece connecting everything, that the plot and the eventual resolution of the story would be all tied to it, so it also intensified all my feelings when going there.
So then finding the escape pod, learning about the signal disruption properties of Dark Bramble and finally realizing how do I actually ‘get inside’ its seed which I’ve spent so much time in previous loops just scouting in, trying to find the solution of seemingly an impossible task.
And then actually approaching the anglerfish skeleton I’ve seen so much before on my scout - not understanding yet what I’m looking at and what meaning does it hold - and then just seeing the familiar smoke of the campfire - all while tracking the signal of harmonica, confirming that this is what I’m approaching. 
And then the moment I get to finally identify it as Feldspar and actually talk to them, all the tension leaving me with that feeling of accomplishment of solving one mystery that accompanied me for so long in my travels.
Nothing will beat that whole sequence for me. It was so climatic, combining all the feelings I had towards space and universe in this game.
Just that combination of immersing yourself deeper and deeper into the unknown - no intention of going back - following that mysterious yet familiar sound that was calling to you since the beginning.
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rockislandadultreads · 1 year ago
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Trending Now: Oppenheimer
Robert Oppenheimer by Ray Monk
Robert Oppenheimer was among the most brilliant and divisive of men. As head of the Los Alamos Laboratory, he oversaw the successful effort to beat the Nazis in the race to develop the first atomic bomb—a breakthrough that was to have eternal ramifications for mankind and that made Oppenheimer the “Father of the Atomic Bomb.” But with his actions leading up to that great achievement, he also set himself on a dangerous collision course with Senator Joseph McCarthy and his witch-hunters.
In this volume, Ray Monk goes deeper than any previous biographer in the quest to solve the enigma of Oppenheimer’s motivations and his complex personality. Through compassionate investigation and with towering scholarship, Monk tells an unforgettable story of discovery, secrecy, impossible choices, and unimaginable destruction.
American Prometheus by Kai Bird
American Prometheus is the first full-scale biography of J. Robert Oppenheimer, "father of the atomic bomb," the brilliant, charismatic physicist who led the effort to capture the awesome fire of the sun for his country in time of war. Immediately after Hiroshima, he became the most famous scientist of his generation-one of the iconic figures of the twentieth century, the embodiment of modern man confronting the consequences of scientific progress.
He was the author of a radical proposal to place international controls over atomic materials - an idea that is still relevant today. He opposed the development of the hydrogen bomb and criticized the Air Force's plans to fight an infinitely dangerous nuclear war. In the now almost-forgotten hysteria of the early 1950s, his ideas were anathema to powerful advocates of a massive nuclear buildup, and, in response, Atomic Energy Commission chairman Lewis Strauss, Superbomb advocate Edward Teller and FBI director J. Edgar Hoover worked behind the scenes to have a hearing board find that Oppenheimer could not be trusted with America's nuclear secrets.
American Prometheus sets forth Oppenheimer's life and times in revealing and unprecedented detail. Exhaustively researched, it is based on thousands of records and letters gathered from archives in America and abroad, on massive FBI files and on close to a hundred interviews with Oppenheimer's friends, relatives and colleagues.
J. Robert Oppenheimer by Abraham Pais
Award-winning biographer Abraham Pais introduces us to a precocious youth who sped through Harvard in three years, made signal contributions to quantum mechanics while in his twenties, and was instrumental in the growth of American physics in the decade before the Second World War, almost single-handedly bringing it to a state of prominence. He paints a revealing portrait of Oppenheimer's life in Los Alamos, where in twenty remarkable, feverish months, and under his inspired guidance, the first atomic bomb was designed and built, a success that made Oppenheimer America's most famous scientist. Pais describes Oppenheimer's long tenure as Director of the Institute of Advanced Study at Princeton, where the two men worked together closely. He shows not only Oppenheimer's brilliance and leadership, but also how his displays of intensity and arrogance won him powerful enemies, ones who would ultimately make him one of the principal victims of the Red Scare of the 1950s.
J. Robert Oppenheimer is Abraham Pais's final work, completed after his death by Robert P. Crease, an acclaimed historian of science in his own right. Told with compassion and deep insight, it is the most comprehensive biography of the great physicist available. Anyone seeking an insider's portrait of this enigmatic man will find it indispensable.
The Ruin of J. Robert Oppenheimer by Priscilla J. McMillan
On April 12, 1954, the nation was astonished to learn that scientist J. Robert Oppenheimer faced charges of violating national security. Why had the charismatic leader of the Manhattan Project— the man who led the team that developed the atomic bomb that ended World War II—been cast into overnight disgrace? In this riveting narrative, bestselling author Priscilla J. McMillan draws on newly declassified U.S. government documents and materials from Russia, as well as in-depth interviews, to present the truth about the downfall of America’s most famous scientist.
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