#this is the peak of my humor

[caslutz]

Ted Lasso Text Posts: Part #1

[raddestrose]

they look like they’re about to sing candy store at me

[fellow-fandom-fruitifier]

Red Son: “Good morning.”

MK: “Sup.”

Mei: “Sdown.”

Red Son: “I lied, it is not a good morning.”

[sutille]

THEY KILLED THE LIVING ROOM. IT IS NOW A DEAD ROOM.

During the renovation of your living room you hire cheapest designer avaliable due to lack of funds. But when you come back to twitching raw muscles covering the walls and bloody heart in the chandelier you realise they might have misunderstood the assignment.

[cardo-de-comer]

the right way

[moeblob]

So with the Community Center done + both harem routes taken... Asmodeus♡ proposed! In Marnie's kitchen. Like a classy individual.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

science brain vs hopeless romantic brain, who will win

[andi-o-geyser]

lou it sounds like you need to calm down. have a snickers. or maybe some cheetos.

[cartoonartistpng]

:0

(Sonictober Day 2: Double)

[just-anotheralex]

[eggs-n-ham-sam]

And he'd do it again if his wife wasn't a therapist.

[riveatstoes]

The Charles Xavier Dr. Pepper Timeline (CXDPT)

i can feel in my bones that this is something hardcore X-Men fans are going to lose their minds over (because it’s already happened once in real life), so a quick DISCLAIMER: this is a joke! this is not a serious post, but is actually the culmination of an inside joke between me and my friend! laugh! it’s supposed to be funny.

so, almost two weeks ago now, me and my friend were chatting with a logan chatbot, and—as two people who ship scogan—decided to ask him about scott. and it replied by accidentally using she/her pronouns for him, thus giving us the first inkling of this horrible, horrible au: transmasc scott summers.

from there it wasn’t a long road to where we’re at now, which is…interesting, to say the least. we add onto this universe whenever we’re being stupid and the X-Men come up. for example, we were at work and hating it, so we thought “what if charles decided to make the X-Men work in fast food for a day, and they all abandon kurt inside to do every station himself”

goes without saying that now whenever we’re mad at our job, we express it out loud in mildly okay kurt wagner impressions.

but anyway, the main part of this post is next: the specifics of this AU, written out in a bullet point list of everything that’s canon in it. let me reiterate that this is for shits and giggles, so i don’t want to hear anything about “but _____ isn’t canon!!!” WE KNOW.

Everything Canon In The CXDPT

Charles was not born with his abilities, but instead gained them right after WWII. His parents offered him a crisp can of Dr. Pepper, and the sheer deliciousness gave him the powers we know him for

In order to maintain his abilities he has to drink an absurd amount of Dr. Pepper daily

TRANSGENDER SCOTT!!!

Scogan is real and they’re insufferable

Laura is a Disney Channel / Hannah Montana girlie and makes Logan watch with her (he’s secretly also a fan)

Jean is transphobic. This is a repercussion of her having almost no personality in the original movie trilogy. She was also hit by the lesbianism beam

Laura got Hollywood Undead banned in the mansion

Kurt has a mysterious BF who just stands next to him most of the time and enjoys throwing rocks at Magneto (Kurt doesn’t take part in this but does encourage it)

Charles uses his telepathy to harass Scott into bringing him Dr. Pepper (the others don’t care as much so manipulation doesn’t work)

“Hey Scott, it’s me, Charles Xavier. Remember how my legs don’t work? Do you see this wheelchair? Wanna bring me a Dr. Pepper about it, Scott?”

Laura got banned from MovieStarPlanet for harassing and cussing out her “ex-boyfriend”

Mystique and Rogue defend anything questionable that Laura does by going “Oh come ON guys she’s JUST a GIRL!!!”

Storm is the only normal one here. Everyone else ages her so very badly just by being their pure, unaltered selves

Scott is actually Y/N

Cherik is canon but only in a “it’s my weekend with the kids, I don’t care if it’s your birthday, I only get to see them once every other week ASSHOLE” kind of way

we acknowledge that this is quite the departure for certain characters, but the thing is that they’re fictional characters so what harm is this actually doing? this AU was purely made to fit our senses of humor which aren’t always the best, to say the least, but it’s funny to us.

hope you enjoyed this post but you probably didn’t, if i’m honest.

[ventique18]

- Pretense: Silver calls Lilia "old man" in Japanese, which leads to some hilarious misunderstandings.

🌸♀️: I heard you've been sparring with Silver and Sebek a lot more recently. Don't overdo it, ok? Here, some pain relief patches for the old man!

🐉: !! Old... man..!

🌸, laughing at the joke: Yeah, you're already an old man!

And Malleus' lizard brain short circuits and blocks off any room for critical thinking. He breathes heavily, whines with a sob, and takes your hands with the softest eyes you've ever seen on him.

🐉: Thank you. You made me the happiest being in the world. I swear on my life that I will devote myself to protect you and your happiness.

🌸: That...sounds a bit too dramatic for a box of salonpas but... I'm glad you like it!

And then he starts focusing most of his time reading books unrelated to class. The professors try confiscating them, but are too stunned to react and think of the appropriate course of action when they discover he's studying phases of pregnancy and how to properly raise children.

He also starts pampering you out of the blue: personally preparing your meals for you and ensuring that the food you take have the appropriate balance of taste and nutrition, as well as escorting you everywhere. He even carries you up and down stairs. This one embarrasses you so badly that you threaten not to see him in the evenings anymore if he won't stop this insane overprotectiveness.

🐉: Nonsense! If you slip and fall, what happens to our offspring? Would you rather not let it see daylight even once?

🌸: Offspri-- what?! What are you talking about?!

🐉: You told me that I have become a father!

🌸: When?!

🐉: When you gave me that box of... Salon pass!

🌸: Salon-- Oh my god Hornton, I said you were an old man. A literal old man. You're literally hundreds of years old.

🐉: !!

🐉: ... Do you mean... I am not a father?

🌸: No! How did you even think of that?

🌸, not knowing whether to laugh or cry: We've never even slept together once? 😭

[spacepatrolhana]

flirting vs harassment

[ardentlytess]

TINN and TIW in MY SCHOOL PRESIDENT (2022), episode 2

[itissadbutitsmy-artblog]

this is making me giggle so much