#this is the first and only political post i'll post here. this is my mental health blog damnit.

[minnesotangothic]

If you vote third party or don't vote at all, your activism is performative at best, and nonexistent at worst. Get off your moral high horse and begrudgingly vote for the "Lesser of Two Evils" instead of allowing all the rights of women, POC and LGBTQ people in America to be actively stripped away. If you don't believe they'll be stripped away, just read Project 2025. Yes, you can still protest and vote for more personal things, but you can only protest under Kamala Harris. Trump is going to make protesting outright illegal, taking away our first amendment freedom of speech. Would you rather have a presidency where making a change is somewhat possible, or a presidency where you're guaranteed death for trying?

If you see it as the trolley problem; would you rather have millions of LGBTQ children and young adults kill themselves across this incredibly large country, and not be able to do anything about it specifically because your actions/inactions caused their basic rights to be taken away and your right to protest taken away, or would you rather continue to see violence against Palestinians for a little while, but still be able to protest against it and fight like hell for the living?

In the trolley problem, you choose the second option if you want to take the moral high ground, or you're more of a murderer than the first option, and yes simply doing nothing is actively choosing the first option.

And guess what! EVERYONE can see if you vote. That information is public knowledge. They can't see who you voted for, but they can see if you did absolutely nothing.

[junelovesaz]

Shadows and Whispers

Note: Hello loves! I'll try to be more active and post more often, maybe once a week (this is my proof that I'm trying 😀). It's really been a long week for me, but I truly appreciate and I'm so happy for the support the previous post received. I'm very grateful for the likes, reblogs, and comments 💙💙💙 I'm not sure if I should make a second part of that one, but in the meantime, here's this. I hope you enjoy it, and sorry if it's a mess! Again, remember that English is not my first language, but if there are any mistakes, don't hesitate to let me know! I’m leaving the song I wrote this with, the slow version sounds really good :)

P.S.: I’m not really sure if this would work in ACOTAR, but I don’t know, I just liked the idea.

Words: +1k

Warnings: none, slight mention of tension

Summary: Reader and Azriel are sent on an undercover mission where they must pretend to be a couple. Reader has unresolved feelings, and the closeness with the shadowsinger leaves her confused.

The Mother definitely had a twisted sense of humor.

I was certain that in this life, I was paying for each and every bad thing I had done in my previous ones. If not, what would be the point of all this?

I had to suppress the complaint lodged in my throat ever since I had left the meeting with Rhys and he had communicated his plans for the Autumn Court.

Why? Why did these things always happen to me?

I could have gone with Cassian, Mor, or even Amren. I wouldn’t have had any issue pretending to be the lover of one of them. But of course, I had to go and pretend with Azriel.

Rhys had received a formal invitation to a ball in the Autumn Court, but decided to send us instead to investigate the political situation surrounding that entire red-haired family and how the stir was being perceived by the court’s nobles. Evidently, we were supposed to look as distracted as possible to catch any murmurs here and there, and the simplest way to do that was by pretending we were simply there to enjoy the evening as a couple in love.

Fantastic, I thought.

"I try to respect your privacy and not intrude on your thoughts" I heard Rhys’s voice in my head "but the way you’re shouting them, I could hear them even from the scraps of the Spring Court."

I grimaced but didn’t respond, letting the anger fill my mind so that he could feel it.

"Why are you so… irritated?" I heard him ask with genuine curiosity, and I sighed.

Rhys could dig just a little and find the reason, but he would never dare. Not without my permission.

"What do you care" I barked mentally, sulking.

I’d apologize later for speaking to my High Lord like that, but right now, I could feel the smoke coming out of my ears, and I guessed he could too because a laugh echoed in my mind before it simply vanished.

"Idiot" was the last thing I thought before raising my mental walls and reinforcing them with everything I had.

By the Cauldron, what was the problem? Well, for starters, I wasn’t in love with Cassian or Mor.

Hell, I had even suggested going with Amren to avoid going through this. Going undercover with Cassian was impossible—Nesta’s scent was all over him, and it wasn’t a secret that he had a mate. Mor was in the Winter Court visiting Viviane, and Amren… well, she was busy with Varian.

So that only left the shadowsinger and me free. Plus, neither of us was involved with anyone publicly, so we were the perfect candidates.

This time I didn’t suppress the groan of exasperation as I headed to my own room in the House of the River. I missed the company of the House of Wind, but now that Cassian and Nesta were there, it was impossible for me to stay—for the sake of my mental health, I fled that place. So I sighed and nearly cried when I reached my bed, bracing myself and trying to find the strength to endure what would happen in a few days.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two nights had passed. Two damned nights sleeping like shit, practicing a mask of indifference and composure that I clearly didn’t feel.

I had also been more sensitive than usual, so I tried to avoid everyone, including Azriel. However, I saw Cassian every morning at training, and although I felt him casting strange glances at me, anticipating my mood, he didn’t ask about it. For that, I was grateful.

In a few hours, Azriel and I would be on our way to the Autumn Court, and I was just trying to control my breathing to avoid panicking. Even now, my hands were shaking so much I couldn’t fasten the endless buttons on the back of the pretty midnight blue dress, adorned with some crystals at the top and quite fitted from the waist down. Courtesy of Rhys.

A knock on the door distracted me from the mission, and holding the top of the dress to my chest, I opened it to come face to face with the man I had been avoiding with all my might.

I had to restrain myself from shrinking away upon seeing him in all his glory—not dressed in Illyrian leathers, but in a formal suit the same color as my dress, fitted in all the right places that made him look out of this world. If you added the large wings behind his back, the stoic hazel gaze, and the tendrils of shadows that surrounded him, giving him a mysterious and irresistible air… My breath faltered a bit.

He scanned me from head to toe as well, and the shiver that ran through me was completely involuntary. His gaze burned, but I did nothing to break the silence in which we were immersed.

"You look… beautiful" he finally said, hesitating a bit.

I swallowed hard and looked away, unsure of how to act. I had never been shy about receiving compliments, but when they came from him, they managed to destabilize me.

"Thanks" I whispered "You look great too."

Azriel nodded, and I saw his eyes drift to my chest, right where my hands were holding the dress.

"I need help with the buttons" I said in a tired tone.

He nodded again and entered my room, closing the door slowly. His shadows roamed freely, and I felt one of them caress my braided hair, making me smile.

"Sorry" Azriel apologized as he gestured for me to turn around.

I shook my head.

"I like them" I replied with a smile that died the moment I felt his fingers touch the exposed skin of my back.

"And they like you" he answered in his usual calm tone.

I didn’t respond, fearing my voice would tremble, and I focused on avoiding my skin from tingling wherever his touched. I even resorted to thinking about the painful blows to the stomach that Cassian gave during training when Azriel’s hands brushed dangerously low on my back.

I knew he also noticed the tension by the way his wings were tucked, but he didn’t say anything. Finally, I released the breath I had been holding once he finished and he removed his hands, though a strange sense of loss invaded me. Nevertheless, I ignored it.

A moment later, I turned around and faced him, tilting my head back to meet his eyes now that we were so close.

"Rhys told me you had certain… reservations about this" he broke the silence, looking at me with a calm expression.

Of course, he had told him.

I almost scoffed.

I opened my mouth to respond, but he interrupted me.

"We won’t do anything you haven’t consented to or that makes you uncomfortable"

I frowned.

"Of course I know that, Az. It’s just that I doubt this will work" I responded, smoothing out my dress a little.

It wasn’t entirely a lie. Though that wasn’t the main reason. It all boiled down to the fact that doing this with him made me nervous.

"It will" he reassured me. "Rhys and I have evaluated all the scenarios. We are the most credible for this plan. Just trust me"

I nodded, though I couldn’t shake the slight anxiety of having him so close.

The shadow from before wrapped around my arm, making me smile again. Even though the touch was cold, it didn’t feel strange, so I didn’t fear playing with it with one of my fingers, not realizing I was practically brushing Azriel’s wing membrane until I noticed his shiver and the way his breath escaped him. I quickly pulled my hand away and looked at him only to find him with his eyes shut and the rest of his shadows slightly agitated.

"I’m sorry, Az" I apologized. "I’m so sorry"

I knew how reserved the Illyrians were about their wings and how they shouldn’t be touched, so his silence only increased the unease brewing inside me.

"It’s fine" he replied slowly after a moment. "It’s nothing" but I could see him swallowing hard.

I bit the inside of my cheek but said nothing more.

"We should go now" he spoke after a moment.

I nodded and took one of his hands, preparing to pretend I was in love with him, according to that stupid plan. When in reality, I would stop pretending I wasn't, for a moment.

That was what terrified me—letting my feelings out and not being able to hide them again after tonight.

But there was no turning back now.

"Ready?"

No.

"Yes" I responded with the steadiest tone I could muster.

He gave me a deep look before I felt the shadows envelop us, and soon the room lit up, leaving us at the entrance of the grand hall of the Autumn Court.

Then, I let go of one of his hands and gently brought it to his cheek, trying to convey my intentions. He held my gaze for a second before bending obediently, giving me the opportunity to leave a chaste kiss on his lips.

The sensations exploded inside me, but I held back. This was a mission, I reminded myself. So why did his hand immediately curve around my waist?

This is just a mission, I repeated.

I pulled away a moment later, smiling softly at him. Before we both straightened up.

I supposed we had made it quite clear that we were together by kissing in front of all these people. I made sure to do it at the entrance so everyone would see, and I guessed Az understood too by the slight squeeze he gave my hand.

I looked at him one last time, letting a bit of my love for him escape. And then I turned towards the crowd, with a bright smile.

All right, the game had begun.

List of tags: @favsrachz @kennedy-brooke @rafeecameronsbitch @cleverzonkwombatsludge @latinxbipride @highladyofhogawarts @mp-littlebit @andreperez11 @rcarbo1 @janebirkln @olive-main @sillyfreakfanparty @clementine111002 @thoughtdaughtersworld @blessthepizzaman @littleblackcatinwonderland @sizzlingstarlightsky @historygeekqueen @thebeautifulmysteriesoflife

Let me know if you want to be added to the list of tags!

[thefiery-phoenix]

Read recently your post about yandere Jichang (why did he have to die 😭) so can you also do yandere Jihan Kwak ?

Sure :) And I know, I get down in the dumps every time I think about Jichang's death, WHY is the world so cruel? 😭

YANDERE KWAK JI-HAN (JIHAN KWAK) HEADCANONS

I simp for him too lol and god DAMN...I'll die from a nosebleed at some point because of how good looking so many of the Lookism characters look and cue my unholy screeching and psychotic giggling

You were visiting your grandparents for the summer vacation as you got down the bus and you sighed as you shouldered your backpack. You were too used to city life, you weren't sure how you'd fare in a quiet countryside but you did have to admit it looked peaceful. You pulled out your phone from your pocket to contact your grandparents when you realized the universe was playing a colossal joke on you since your phone battery was dead you grumbled under your breath. It's been a while since you'd visited your grandparents so you couldn't remember how their house looked like so you decided to ask someone along the way, hoping they'd know the location to their house. You were unaware of a certain pair of calculating eyes watching your every movement, surveying your features till you were approached by a guy who looked almost similar to your age and had a friendly polite smile on his face. "You seem to be lost there sweetheart...anything I can help you with?" he asked you politely as you smiled and explained your situation to him. The guy introduced himself as Jihan Kwak as the two of you headed to your grandparents house

As he kept talking to you, he couldn't help but feel more...attracted and drawn to you. You were a city dweller and yet you weren't so obnoxious and loud or had an ego complex, you had a genuine and nice personality. He kept looking at you from the corner of his eye, his cheeks heating slightly every time he saw you smile and talk about something you liked like your favorite book or your favorite movie and such, mentally noting down whatever you were telling him for future purposes when he'd meet you next time. Of course he'd be meeting you next time, and plenty more times after your first encounter, you've managed to make him intrigued and charmed him with your personality, you remind him of a fragile little doll to be honest, his savior and protector complex would get activated whenever he sees you, you're just too adorable for him, he can't take you seriously sometimes. He wonders how you've managed to survive this long but not to worry, he's here for you now

He'll pop by your grandparent's house every day and he'll have a good impression on them to get more closer to you. He usually wasn't someone who really gave love that much of a thought before he met you, he loved how soft your hands were, how kind and caring you were to those around you, how adorable you looked whenever you had that gleam of passion in your eyes when you spoke about things, how mesmerizing your eyes are and how he feels like he's getting lost in the beauty of your eyes... he loves everything about you. He isn't delusional, he knows his feelings for you are going out of control and he tries to suppress them only for something more darker, sinister and twisted to emerge as a form of love for you

He's aware his feelings for you are unnatural but he just can't help it. He just can't seem to get enough of you. He won't spill his heart out to yet since he doesn't want you to think he's weird but at the same time he doesn't have any qualms of being clingy to you and stalking you wherever you go. You're new to the countryside, you probably wouldn't be aware of the dangers but you don't need to worry, he's there for you to protect you and keep you safe. Of course, it kind of goes without saying, since he's also the brother of Jichang who's an officer, the people around would gladly keep an eye out for you to make sure you don't get yourself into any kind of trouble

His brothers would eventually find out about his immense feelings of love for you after Jichang catches his brother stalking you in the night as he simply glared at his brother which made it a bit awkward for a few seconds till they went back home and Jichang, Jibeom and Jihan sat down for a family discussion where he'll eventually be forced to spill his guts and heart regarding his feelings for you. Of course, they'd be happy for him and they don't really see anything wrong with how twisted his concept of love had become for you and Jichang would do whatever research necessary to find out more information regarding you by pulling a few strings here and there and would get rid of someone posing a threat to yours and Jihan's relationship. He wants his little brother to be happy after all, law be damned, plus they're eager to welcome you into their fold

Jihan likes being affectionate with you, deep down he's slightly insecure you might find someone else better than him which makes him even more clingier to you than usual till he starts developing the fear and paranoia of you leaving him. One day when you told him you'd be going back to your parents house since the summer vacation was over, he just looked at you in complete shock. For a moment he forgot you were on summer vacation and you were just visiting, he'll swallow the bitter lump forming in his throat as he wishes you all the very best and would invite you over for his house for dinner to which you'd agree. Then he'll formulate a plan to ensure you'd stay with him since he just can't afford to lose you, you mean so much to him. He'd feel empty without you and there needs to be someone by your side to take care of you, he's more than willing to be that man for you

Jichang would assist him in procuring some sedative to make you fall asleep after you've finished consuming the food which would make you black out in less than five seconds. Deep down Jihan feels slightly guilty he's slipping sedatives in your food but his fear of losing you overrides his sense of rationality which would compel him to slip the sedatives in your dish while telling himself that it's for your own good and he can't lose you. You're all smiles as you greet his brothers and they're really impressed with your courteous behavior and politeness. Jibeom would nudge Jihan in the chest and smirk at him and whisper what a good choice his brother made as Jihan grows slightly flustered and drinks some water. After you've finished eating your food, before you're about to bade them farewell, you lost your consciousness and you ended up blacking out in Jihan's arms as he carried you to a room and placed a blanket over you and caressed your head lovingly. You woke up after a few hours when the sedatives finally wore off as you looked around, confused as to what was going on when you were supposed to be at your grandparents house, packing for going back to your parent's house in 2 days

Jihan will enter the room and hand you a glass of water as he explains what he did and you'd stare at him in shock. He'd be hurt if you scream or insult him but he understands, he understands how you feel. It's a new concept for you and you can have all the time in the world to adjust, he doesn't mind. If you cry, he'll feel really bad and he feels an ache in his heart from seeing you cry as tears are streaming down your face. He wanted to ensure your happiness all the time, he didn't like seeing you sad so he'd just hold you in a comforting embrace and pat your head gently, telling you how much you mean to him. He isn't unreasonable, he knows you might be mad at him but deep down he'll be hurt and have the expression of a kicked puppy if you ignore him. Nonetheless he'll never raise his voice or hands at you, he can't bring himself to hurt you. That thought wouldn't occur to him even in his worst nightmare. With the kindness and love he's treating you with, you'll end up getting Stockholm Syndrome faster than Zack always screaming for Mira

You actually might have a shot at escaping from him since he does tend to take you out on dates outside to make sure you don't die from boredom from being at home all the time but if you do end up escaping, it'll be Jichang who'll find you and just bring you back to Jihan. Jihan would be worried about you and check you for injuries and then he'd tell you in a very serious tone how he'd never let you attempt something like this again since he loves you too much so now you'll have to earn his trust back before you're allowed to go out. If it's someone trying to take you from him then it's a completely different story. He might be kind and loving to you but his personality is like a snake, cunning and crafty as he analyzes how to get rid of the pest to meddle in between the both of you. Don't forget about his fighting skills, he's learnt from the very best himself and will not hesitate to snap the person's bones like a twig if he has to for your sake and the person would disappear off the face of the planet the next day who may or may not be buried 6 feet under the ground or probably fed to the wild dogs they have, but you don't need to stress your pretty head about that. Just leave all the violence and brutal things to him all right?

His love for you has no bounds which is mixed with possessiveness. Don't even try resisting his affection for you, he'll just hold you tighter to him and cuddle with you. He loves seeing you cooking, having a cute little apron on your frame as he envelopes you into a hug from the back and he kisses the nape of your neck and nuzzles your cheek with his. He truly does love you, just make him happy by being with him please, he'd be crushed if he loses you. Overall, a great yandere to have and he'd seriously be a blessing to have compared to the other messed up characters...

[oh-no-its-bird]

TORA AU TIME YES ITS THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN !!!

Ok so first, quoting this from a previous tora au post:

Personal take here: I don't think Itachi likes being in charge! That boy is a born, built, and bred shinobi who follows what he is told to a perfect T, no matter how blatantly horrifically awful the order is! Even if hates it with all of his heart! He'll still fucking do it! And then only blame himself for it and not the guy who fucking ordered it! Because he'll still obey that guy after! Which also adds another fun layer of irony bc hes supposed to be clan head one day! To me, Itachi is a fascinating subject of having an unshakable, unbreakable iron will— and also having absoloutley no spine To be fair tho was also like. Fuckin 13. He was fucked up and was tricked at a very, very young age and unfortunatley that one mistake came to chain him to that one specific way of thinking. If he came to grow out of that way of thinking, he'd first have to admit he'd made a mistake, which wasn't gonna happen bc it was too late for regrets. But anyways: With Tora here Itachi has another "voice of reason" to help steer him away from other voices who might otherwise bind him. There isn't as much pressure on only him + Shisui to here and now choose what they (and only they) will choose to do to save the entire clan or Konoha Tora is a natural leader and quick to take charge, and Itachi is ok with that. When Itachi chooses to speak, he is listened to carefully and his opinions are taken seriously, which is all he can ask for tbh. Otherwise he's allowed to sit there and look pretty till given a nice, neatly wrapped plan approved by 2 people he can really, truly trust. So he's doing a bit better mentally than canon Anyways, in this AU I think Itachi should actually get to semi-retire as a shinobi and actually Sasuke gets to be clan head bc his brother ain't built for it. Plus it can play more into the stuff I was talking ab earlier about Sasuke struggling a lot more than those around him to learn different stuff (sealing especially) only to come out as one of the most terrifying in what he eventually masters. Let the second son inherit!! Let Sasuke have a defining character moment where he decides he wants to help guide the clan, and he's forced to kind of get over his brother worship to confront Itachi to say he doesn't think he'd make the best clan head. And Itachi let's out this sigh of relief he did not know he has been holding for his entire life and tells Sasuke he's proud of him.

With that in mind ^

I think the ultimate ironic pairing for the finale of the Tora AU would be Tora and Itachi ending up together, but with Itachi as the retired ninja housewife and Tora the big boi breadwinner

The ultimate fuck you twist call back to all Tora's parents talk of Tora needing to find a "good man to take care of you" + irony from them originally cheering Tora on when they learned he and itachi were friends bc they thought he'd snag him as a husband and the culmination of Itachi's "I don't really want to be in charge actually" arc

I love a full circle !!

Sasuke is Itachi's best man and Shisui is Tora's and Kakashi gets to walk Tora down the isle instead of his parents who he has no real attachment to

Actually POV I fucking kill off the Haruno's and Tora and Sakura have to deal w the death of their parents, who they both had very complicated relationships with but relationships nonetheless

Mmm I kinda like that, putting that in my back pocket for now

I honestly don't even know how the romance would happen, tbh I'm not the biggest romance fan but I just love the progression of it in the narrative. I think it'd be a cool end to their story, I'll sweat the little details later

Maybe they aren't even in love fr fr

Oh my god wait no hear me out

HEAR ME OUT

Itachi getting out of being clan head via marrying Tora. Don't ask me how this works. They aren't even like in love or anything but Itachi is using Tora as a political shield to fuck off and enjoy his housewife retirement actually.

Tora is similarly using this for one of his infamous political plots somehow, it's all part of his master plan and as usual itachi is just happy to go along for the ride

,,,the perfect queer platonic besties end to their arc ,, I love it this is my new ideal endgame

Sasuke drops that he's gonna fight Itachi to be clan head and Itachi one ups him by going "oh cool. Guess I don't need to marry Tora then."

Queue Sasuke spit take "You don't need to WHAT"

"Yeah we were gonna get married as part of a 10 step plan to help Tora take over the clan council + get me out of being clan head by abusing some old laws Tora found."

"??????????"

"I guess I'll tell Tora we don't need to do it anymore. I'm happy for you, little brother."

"???????????????????"

Anyways yeah, thinking ab tora au again.

I just finished re-reading my vault fic chapter for it and am having Thoughts(tm)

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

Apr 9th

~*~

1. ITMF fics with (a) good and well-developed original characters! i really enjoyed "I told you when I came I was a stranger" and would really love to read more like these. also looking for (b) fics where wwx is brought back in an OC's body, where their identity matters to the plot (eg politically), like "The Housewife’s Guide to Causing Chaos" (wwx brought back as a yu) & "Everyanything" (wwx brought back as qin su).

would still like wangxian to be tgt, & complete/actively ongoing fics only please. thank you!!!!! @potatokunst

1B)

There's the wwx resurected in other people's bodies comp, but more specifically,

❤️ Beauty and the Boot by PTchan (T, 44k, wangxian, summoned by f!oc, Canon Divergence, Romantic Comedy, Genderbending, Denial, Fem!WWX, WangXian kids, Crack-ish, WIP) would probably fit

~*~

2. Hey there! For the next itmf:

I want fics where wwx is in love with lwj, and he knows it too. So I don’t care if its time travel or anything like that, I just wanna see wwx treating lwj good/like a spouse while being aware that he’s doing it.

And even greater would be, if lwj was very much confused/ in gay panic mode/ horny for it .

Thank you :3 @desperation-is-my-middle-name

two guys r in love thats literally it by victortor (M, 11k, wangxian, Time Travel, the fluffiest thing ive ever written)

When the Words Stop Coming by mrcformoso (T, 7k, WangXian, Canon Compliant, POV WWX, POV LWJ, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Pre-Sunshot Campaign, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Canonical Character Death, Love Confessions, Rejection, LWJ is a Panicked Gay, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Trauma, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending) more of an angst take honestly but it fits the prompt?

And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 139k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together)

~*~

3. Hi! For ITMF, can you suggest fics where it picks up soon after the novel ends and explores wangxian’s relationship and how it develops?

Or just fics where wwx learns to take up space/ adjust to gusu and in lwj’s heart?

Thank you for your help, always!

And Yet Here You Are by cosmicmilktea (T, 10k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Domestic Fluff, Cloud Recesses, settling down, Separation Anxiety, Teacher WWX, very light angst, Chief Cultivator LWJ)

call me home and I'll build you a throne by anaphoricae (E, 51k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Cloud Recesses, Getting Together, Developing Relationship, Self-Indulgent, Gusu Lan Juniors Dynamics, Touch-Starved, Non-Sexual Intimacy... and then Sexual Intimacy, Lán Juniors Gossiping about Wangxian, as a treat, Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, little hurt lots of comfort, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Farmer WWX, Chief Cultivator LWJ, iMutual Pining, Communication, Quietly Falling Into a Married Life, Light Angst, Wholesome, POV LWJ, POV WWX, LWJ in braids agenda, Sharing a Bed, WWX's Birthday, Semi-Public Sex, Cold Springs, Inventor WWX, Jealous WWX, turkish translation)

I hope that you will come and meet me by feyburner (M, 28k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Getting Together, Love Letters, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Literal Sleeping Together, Intimacy, CQL Compliant, No Plot Just Feelings, First Time, Two soulmates figuring their shit out, Let Hanguang-jun talk about his feelings agenda, Podfic Available)

my age has never made me wise by idrilka (E, 63k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Part-epistolary, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, Marriage Proposal, Homecoming, One Brain Cell WWX Strikes Again)

~*~

4. hello! for itmf any fics with wei wuxian and mo xuanyu? smth like i'll take a secondhand monster by stratisphyre

tysm<3 @r3n-vy

~*~

5. Hi! Hope u r having a great day!

Do you know any good wangxian fics where LWJ leaving cloud recesses along with A-yuan and raise him on his own? You know, before WWX's return? I remember reading one where LWJ competely fell off the radar once. Sadly, i can't recall the name. Pretty please @grrumpywoof

❤️ And Miles To Go Before I Sleep by Glitterbombshell (T, 23k, WIP, WangXian, Heavy Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, LXC is not really a good brother in this sorry, Canon Divergence, rogue cultivator!lwj) It's a WIP that hasn't updated since 2020, but there's this

Home isn't Where the Heart is. by Hauntcats (Not rated, 7k, wangxian) Jingyi comes along too here

The Best I Can by Zephyr (ZephyrAndTheSilverfish) (T, 26k, LJY & WWX, wangxian, WWX talking to his donkey, Canon Divergence, Light Angst, Drama, Recovery, Coming of Age, Secret Identity Fail, Friendship, Rogue Cultivator LWJ, Road Trips, POV Multiple, Happy Ending)

~*~

6. Hi!!! Thank you, you are all amazing and this place is magnificent!! Well, In the mood for... A) Fics were Wei Wuxian raised or helped raised the Juniors, all of them, modern if possible, I just finished The Edge of Night by Hobbsy3 and the relationship with the kids is so amazing, even if is not the central theme also B) Zombie themes fics, similar to the previous one, modern to if posible with happy ending!! Thank you so much for everything!! Be well :) @monicaop21

6A)

🔒 and having a marvelous time by varnes (E, 108k, WangXian, Yúnmèng Siblings, Sound of Music AU, (i know!!! i know. stay with me on this.), Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Family Feels, spies to lovers???, Protective Siblings, Sometimes You Just Want Your Dads To Admit They're Your Dads, Angst with a Happy Ending, podfic of and having a marvellous time by varnes by Spinifex) not modern but WWX raises all the kids

6B)

Darkness Before the Dawn by Selenay (E, 64k, wangxian, Zombie Apocalypse, Modern With Magic, Necromancer WWX, Reunions, toddler A-Yuan, There Was Only One Bed, There are zombies but not graphically horrific zombies, Angst with a Happy Ending, Find a home in the middle of an apocalpyse)

~*~

7. Academic rivals wangxian? :<

~*~

8. For the next itmf! I wonder if there are any fics where the lan and nie bros are really close and then wwx gets added into the mix, and there are shenanigans! Things like the lan/nie bros having a problem that only wwx can solve, or the bros discover how wwx's been treated by other people and get super protective. I just read With This Shadowed Blade and discovered that I very badly want to read more of this dynamic! Thank you all!

Come Around and Stay by trippednfell (M, 160k, wangxian, modern, slow burn, kid fic, found family, it gets worse before it gets better, PTSD, blood and injury, dissociation, trauma, angst w happy ending, musicals, alternating pov, JC & WWX reconciliation, hurt/comfort, panic attacks) 

Debts of a Child Part 2 by Hauntcats (M, 111k, WangXian, YZY Bashing, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Angst and Feels, lots of anger, JC Bashing, not Jiang friendly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Content warning for icky spiders in later chapters.)

~*~

9. Pls pls next itmf secret relationship wangxian? Bonus points if it’s CRA but modern au or post canon or whatever is great too I just need it (I have read a few where their families don’t believe they’re dating but I want them hiding it)

Silenced With A Kiss by NinjaKK (E, 132k, WIP, WangXian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Flirting, Teen Romance, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Soft WangXian, WWX in WWX’s Body, Secret Relationship, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Dates, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Canon Divergence, Protective LWJ, Protective WWX, Ripple Effect, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Optional Smut, Supportive LWJ, BAMF WWX, Inappropriate Use of Gūsū Lán Forehead Ribbon, Has an Angry LWJ Kink, Drunk LWJ, Gusu Lan Alcohol Tolerance, No Golden Core Transfer, WWX Leaves the Yunmeng Jiang Sect)

A Guide on How to (not) Have a Secret Relationship by Grapesey (YumGrapeJuice) (T, 6k, wangxian, Established Relationship, Secret Relationship, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Boys Kissing, they are horribly in love, WWX is a Little Shit, LWJ is So Whipped, WWX is obsessed with LWJ's hair, JC is So Done)

~*~

10. For the next itmf could I see if we could find any fics where mo xuanyu is adopted by wangxian. I’ll take both modern au and canon type fics

a thousand fragile and unprovable things by theLoyalRoyalGuard (G, 5k, WangXian, Modern AU, Trans Male Character, Trans MXY, MXY Deserves Happiness, Best Dads Wangxian, Handwaving The Legal System With The Power of LWJ, A little bit of angst, mostly soft, Happy Ending, Gender Happiness, Let LWJ Wear Skirts Agenda, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note)

silk linked together by theLoyalRoyalGuard (G, 6k, LWJ & MXY, Wangxian, Modern, Autistic LWJ, Cellist LWJ, LWJ, Runs A Rabbit Rescue, MXY Deserves Happiness, Fluff) which ends w/ both wangxian relationship and Mo Xuanyu adoption in process.

🔒 and having a marvelous time by varnes (E, 108k, WangXian, Yúnmèng Siblings, Sound of Music AU, (i know!!! i know. stay with me on this.), Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Family Feels, spies to lovers???, Protective Siblings, Sometimes You Just Want Your Dads To Admit They're Your Dads, Angst with a Happy Ending, podfic of and having a marvellous time by varnes by Spinifex) (link in #6A)

~*~

11. Hello! ITMF current wips? For the last few months Truth Will Out has been super fun to keep up with, but now it is complete I would love to find other wips to follow! Any genre (canon, au, or modern) and any topic/plot! Preferably something that updates with relative frequency, like weekly or every other week. Thank you so much!

No Matter What You Are by LilyFaraday (M, 209k, wangxian, WIP, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Female WWX, MXY is a girl in this one and WWX has to deal with it, Genderbending, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, A lot of comedy coming from WWX dealing with being a girl, and also using it to his advantage, Marriage of Convenience, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, no miscarriage)

A Matter of Time series by mrcformoso (E, 84k, wangxian, time travel fix-it, graphic depictions of violence, underage, LWJ pov, JC pov, dark LWJ, manipulation, grooming, teen body adult mind for LWJ, happy ending for wangxian, problematic consensual underage sex, blood & violence, insane LWJ, manic LWJ) My current MDZS WIP is the A Matter of Time Series, it's currently on worlbuilding extras before the actual sequel. It's update about monthly but considering the amount of thought and worldbuilding and the size of this series I think that's pretty fast hahaha make sure to read the warnings first!

once upon a time, 很久很久以前 by gentil-minou (Flyingsuits) (M, 69k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX, LSZ & LWJ, WIP, Modern, Canon Divergence, Transmigration, of the townwide variety, Amnesia, of the nearly everyone variety, Mystery, of the shenanigans variety, Not Everyone Dies AU, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, WWX is sad and down bad, Single Parent LWJ, except a-yuan runs away to find his other dad, Fluff and Angst, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Minor Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, Once Upon a Time Fusion, Curses, part of the fun is figuring out how to make these characters as miserable as possible :) ) may i offer up my wip? Updates arent thay frequent cause each chap is over 15k but im hoping to post the next chap this month!

🔒 The Second Hand Unwinds by trulywicked (E, 51k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, WIP, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Time Travel Fix-It, Not JC Friendly, Not Yunmeng Jiang Sect Friendly, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, Not YZY Friendly, Time Travelling LWJ, Protective LWJ, Fluff, Minor Angst, Minor Character Death, JGS is his own warning, Wooing, LWJ is romantic af, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Protective Gusu Lan Sect, Supportive LXC, Good Uncle LQR, WWX Protection Squad)

A-Yuan's Big Adventure by KatanaHatake (G, 13k, wangxian, WIP, Time Travel, transmigrator LSZ, Found Family, Canon Divergence, Parents LWJ & WWX, People believing WWX birthed A-Yuan, Eventual Happy Ending, Accidental Baby Acquisition)

We Meet at the Thousandth Step by Admiranda, Rynne (T, 273k, wangxian, CSSR/WCZ, WIP, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot Campaign, CSSR & WCZ Live, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Different First Meeting, Night Hunts, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Romance, Drama, Fluff, Strangers to married, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Everyone Lives AU, Developing Relationship, Minor Violence, Case Fic, Mystery, Flirting, WWX's Canon-Typical Flower Flirting, Arson, There Was Only One Bed, Getting Together, First Kiss, Meeting the Parents, Resolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Romantic Tension, WWX Is a Good Big Brother, New Relationship Bliss, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Blood and Injury, Yiling siblings)

🧡 The Shade of Old Trees by Kryal (T, 266k, WIP, WangXian, Ridiculously Long Notes, History, Canon Divergence, Modern AU, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Slow Life, Action/Adventure, Magic Returns, BAMF WWX)

At heart by apathyinreverie (M, 28k, wangxian, WIP, Dark LWJ(Ish), Amnesia, WWX gets to be Not Okay after the BM, Hurt WWX, Recovery, Caring, Protective LWJ, Possessive LWJ, some definite manipulation, but not everything is as it seems, not nearly as dark as the tags make it sound, Canon Divergence, Golden Core Reveal, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, kind of, Domestic WangXian, Fluff, WWX Goes to Gusu, Possessive WWX, WWX happily atticwifing away, Sunshot Campaign, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ)

~*~

12. Itmf for qiongqi path divergence 🖤

The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou (E, 66k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Injury, Injury Recovery, Blood, Respiratory Illness, Major Illness, Fever, Grief/Mourning, Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hunger and food scarcity, Surgery, Fix-It of Sorts)

when you're doing all the leaving (then it's never your love lost) by tardigradeschool (T, 23k, wangxian, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Sharing a Bed, Sharing Clothes, Fix-It, the inherent eroticism of under robes, Golden Core Transfer, LWJ finds out about wwx's missing core and says i have plenty to go around)

the cycle of regret by KouriArashi (T, 14k, WangXian, Groundhog Day, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending)

in this place where we don’t have a prayer by Cerusee, Mikkeneko (T, 42k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, WWX dies at Qiongqi path, Demonic Cultivation)

Home and the Heartland by Witch_Nova221 (T, 210k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, Slow Romance, Romance, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Fix-It, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Self-Discovery, Golden Core Reveal)

isn't there a Qiongqi Path canon divergence comp?

~*~

13. itmf fics with Lan Wangji laughing/smiling/giggling etc. The bts of The Untamed with Wang Yibo laughing his ass off are killing me and i need LWG just being happy and laughing now

~*~

14. An ITMF ask: I am looking for fic where WangXian's marriage is being arranged but one or both of them simply don't know about it until late in the game -not just "everyone knows but them" but literally they are being measured for wedding outfits and are clueless. Pining a plus! HEA pls! <3 @kimboo-york

Searching for a Heart by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 21k, WangXian, Modern AU, married at first sight au, this is basically modern arranged marriage, Getting Together, Reality TV AU)

Lead Me On Through by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 54k, wangxian, Alternate Universe, Arranged Marriage, Practice Kissing, practice other things, horny boys in love, questionable logic, Questionable Choices, they're dumb but cute, but dumb, but really cute, slight knives, Happy Ending)

~*~

15. itmf modern au inventor wwx, similar to kizukatana's Truth Will Out? thank you for all that u do 💗

💖 One Can Keep A Secret (If He Does Not Know It’s There)by H_Belle (T, 5k, wangxian, NHS & WWX, modern w/ cultivation, inventor WWX, secret identity, identity reveal, YLLZ WWX, rogue cultivator WWX, pining LWJ, WWX pov)

There's An App For Everything by Sweetlittlevampire (G, 4k, wangxian, Modern Cultivation, Rivals to Lovers, Friends To Lovers, Competition, Demon fighting, Getting Together, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Night Hunts, Wangxian x Caves is the real ship here, Happy Ending, Humour)

~*~

16. hi hi! could you recomend any fics where Lan Yuan grows up in Lotus Pier? thank you <3 @nyxiblue

What Remains After the War by Swan_Song (T, 41k, JC & LSZ, JC & JL, JL & LSZ, JL & LJY & OYZZ & LSZ, JC & WWX, WIP, Canon Divergence, LSZ is a Jiang, Good Uncle JC, Cousins JL & LSZ, JC Needs a Hug, JC Needs Therapy, The juniors solve a mystery, Junior Ensemble Shenanigans, Good Uncle LQR, he tries his best, LSZ Needs a Hug)

~*~

17. ITMF any fics where other characters preferably Jin zixuan has an unrequited/one sided crush on Wei Ying. Could be any setting preferably Canon/Canon divergence or with some sort of cultivation and wangxian end game. Gimme all you have please @linossock

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[my-unorthodox-life]

okay can i vent for a minute? get real personal with all y'all?

i've been a tumblr user since i got my first tablet at age 12, over a decade of having at least one active blog (usually more) so it's safe to say i've both gotten my fair share of hate and found ways of using this app to benefit me and keep me detached from this hate

currently i have 4 active blogs, my main where i do the typical reblogging and updates on my fanfics, this one where i post like a proper blog and reblog jewish things that matter to me, my mental health recovery blog where i talk about my eating disorder and ptsd, and my adult one where i reblog fun sexy stuff and chat about the struggles of dating as sex positive people with trauma.

all very important to me and all have various levels of anonymity when it comes to knowing about me as a person. some have my name, some a nickname, one just my age. plus various tidbits so people know what to expect from my posts and what we can chat about, basic blog rules essentially

in the past few months as antisemitism has gotten more and more common place i of course get more anon hate, i don't turn of inboxes since i do get nice stuff from time to time, and that's kind of the territory of running a blog (i had a trans rights one in the age of kalvin garrah, i think i'll live)

out of those four blogs the one that gets the most antisemitic messages, i mean full paragraphs of truly vile ramblings that read like a nazi fever dream, is the one for my mental health recovery. a blog that i block all but mutuals on, meaning either a stranger or someone i've interacted with is sending these messages

i've started replying to them, cause i feel if they want to be mean and make a fool of themselves i might as well let everyone see (poor guy keeps sending me weird reviews of "my" wattpad fics. i've never had a wattpad account but this doesn't seem to stop him), but what gets me is that blog has the least personal information on it. no name or nickname, no hobbies or interests listed, nothing about what i do for work beyond "pet care", and the only mention of my religion or politics was one post that joking about how my mental health often gets worse around the high holy days (very demure, very mindful)

and yet that's the blog that gets straight up death threats, not even disguised as anything else, just straight up calling me a pig who deserves to burn. not the personal blog where i've posted about israel and palestine, or about dating while religious, or hell even this one that might as well be a "i'm a sensitive jewish minded person! thoughts?" blog.

no the one blog that people feel safe harassing is the nondescript recovery and relapse blog. that's where people feel comfortable.

and it makes me sad, not because of what was said, but because it *was* said. that there's people out there comfortable enough in their bigotry to go up to someone and spew vile hate like it's nothing, but only of course if they can't put a name or face to the person they're talking to

what this reminds me of is when i was in high school i had an art teacher who didn't stand for antisemitic jokes, and there were a lot in my school. one day a kid just asked him "Mr.Dexter, are you a jew?" and his response really stuck with me. he said "It doesn't matter, maybe I am, maybe I used to be, maybe my wife is. But you shouldn't not say mean things just because you don't want to get in trouble, you shouldn't say them because you know it's wrong. If you didn't know, you wouldn't ask."

and i think that really sums up all these trolls i've seen running through jewish blogs or even ones that casually mention it, they know it's wrong but the aren't saying it to a jewish face, they're just saying it to the idea of judaism

these people wouldn't walk up to you on the street and look you up and down and say half of what they feel comfortable typing, but here where they can not only hide their face, but seek out a target that has hidden their own they've found a way to give themselves free reign to say and do whatever they want. to them it's not a person on the other side of the screen, it's the strawman caricature of a jewish person, out here just for them to yell at to get whatever anger they have out of their system

of course there are some people who would say truly despicable things to a random person on the street, but cmon is that person really on tumblr hunting through buzz words to send hate?

anyways i know the compassionate thing to do would be to pray for them to heal what's hurting them so bad, but yanno what, they can suffer a bit first

[stromuprisahat]

Second Army disorganization

Siege and Storm- Chapter 14

One of the most frustrating and famously nonsensical passages of Grisha trilogy, easily explained through doylist approach- the author's inability to write strategy or politics and demands of the genre, requiring a weak, unfit heroine to defeat immensely powerful opponent way out of her league:

Alina: Oh no, they dare to oppose me again! :(

Isn't that why would you want to establish a council in the first place? So you get constructive criticism and suggestions to do things better?!

My objections to the notion Alina came up with representation of Grisha can't be more obvious:

Army is a structured organization. There are ranks and councils by default. No amount of ignorant teens will persuade me calling it "Second" makes it otherwise.

Any big organization has a structure. Even if Second Army were only about education, there would be councils and posts on different levels. Hell, school system works that way.

Alina: I'm gonna have the useless ones represented, because we're not doing things like the Darkling, but that doesn't mean I'll respect them myself or abandon my prejudices. Fucking nerds. Weidos...

Another YA nonsense- you cannot put people into categories based on their physical predispositions, and expect the mental ones to fit accordingly. You can have a huge, muscled guy, skilled in delicate handiwork. You can have a tiny wisp of a girl beating the living shit out of you (popular trope by itself).

Now why should sensitivity to metals get you a spot in labs, if you're a strategic genius? Or incredibly skilled, witty rhetorician? Isn't it more likely you'd be required to complete basic training to stay healthy and prevent accidentally endangering others, while being assigned to whatever you're most useful at?

And what about those weak or less intelligent ones? Are they bringing coffee and arranging entertainment?!

It also fits this fan interpretation, that Materialki are often neuro-divegent, so they are tend to be kept away from battle for their own sake.

Alina wasn't involved in practical running of Second Army before. Just because she doesn't know about something, it's not a totally fresh idea.

I'd be afraid of a girl, who almost murdered a bunch of people for asking questions, too.

At this point, I'm gonna run with the idea that all the older Grisha are torn between face-palming and silently laughing their assess off (so Alina doesn't overhear and her clique doesn't resort to violence).

“But what do they do in there?” I asked, not entirely sure I wanted to hear the answer. “Only the Corporalki know. But there are rumors that they’ve been working with the Fabrikators on new … experiments.”

Shadow and Bone- Chapter 8

... and that says nothing about the field, or the little groups in noble houses. People tend to stick together with their own, when in strange enviroment. I'm sure such bonds dissolve immediately after their return "home".

I've also delved a little into the sitting order here.

A few lines earlier, Alina noted Materialki didn't show up to complain. Who is so horrified then?! Not them, for sure.

Ironically, this fits into Fabricator-brain theory linked above AND the most logical explanation- Materialki have basic self-defense training, but only those, who are able to, continue. Alina isn't particularly friendly with any of them, so how would she know no one had EVER bothered to teach them? Alright, there are none in her class, but as far as we know, it consists of a Squaller, an Inferni and a Heartrender. Not the most saying sample.

Having a third of all Grisha helpless doesn't fit into the picture of Aleksander's leadership:

“That’s what Botkin always says. ‘Not showy, just to make pain,’” I said, imitating the mercenary’s heavy accent. “Smart guy.” “The Darkling doesn’t think Grisha should rely on their powers for defense.”

Shadow and Bone- Chapter 17

You don't have to become another Bruce Lee, you only need a chance, when they drag you out of bed in the middle of the night.

What tradition?

This is rather well-written group of angry, disorganized people. It might start with a reasonable goal, but soon everyone talks about something else than others, and the message gets lost in the noise.

Tradition doesn't equal "the way things are done". Neither of them is the same as "the need for structure and people knowing their places". The third one is a legitimate concern, although one could argue it's exactly what Alina's attempting.

This whole scene very much reads like:

The author is desperate to prove the Heroine isn't quite useless- she has good ideas! Look! *whacks a hundreds of years old stategist and survivor par excellence with stupid stick*

[enby-dragoon]

Rating the IBO Gundams by how much I personally want to fuck them

Hello, I've been writing Gundam fanfiction recently and that has gotten me intensely horny. This was the result.

The following is mostly just my opinion, formed by a combination of aesthetics and role in the series.

Unless they're very different I'll be looking at only the final version of each Gundam.

1: ASW-G-08 Gundam Barbatos Lupus Rex

We're starting off strong with this one. Lupus Rex is very butch. She'd wrestle me to the ground and I'd thank her, and if I wrote down what I want her to do with that tail and those claws, I'd have to set this post to mature.

Conlusion: Very fuckable in a way that would hurt me, but sometimes you just want to be hurt you know?

2: ASW-G-11 Gundam Gusion Rebake Full City

Gusion is the kind of guy who outwardly seems extremely tough and masculine, until you talk to him and realize he has a pet goldfish and does model building as a hobby.

Unfortunately he's also a bit shy, so we'd never actually get together, neither of us would be able to work up the courage to ask.

Conclusion: Very fuckable if one of us got drunk or something. Bonus points for probably being the healthiest relationship of the bunch.

3: ASW-G-64 Gundam Flauros (Ryusei-Go)

Flauros knows exactly who he is and wants to be, and he's not afraid to be open about it.

Of all the Post-Disaster Gundams, Flauros is the only one capable of transforming and I, uh, may or may not have a clip of that saved for... Research purposes.

Also those big cannons, which in his transformed state become electromagnetic railguns!

Conclusion: Probably the sexiest one of the lineup here, if not the sexiest. I want him to fire those cannons if you get what I mean.

4: ASW-G-01 Gundam Bael

The first of these not from Tekkadan, and fittingly the first one ever built too.

This picture doesn't really do him justice, he looks much better in motion, especially those wings.

Bael is interesting, because on his own he's plenty fuckable (if a bit dedicated to duty), his problems are mostly the kinds of people that surround him.

He's definitely old money, but he genuinely works hard and got his position through merit rather than nepotism.

his friends, however, are normal rich people, and thus the worst.

Conclusion: A one night stand would work, but anything more would see his friends try and get rid of me for his reputation.

5: ASW-G-29 Gundam Astaroth Origin

Astaroth is a military veteran, which is a bit of a turn off, and his colour scheme is also too samey, he really should have added some other colours than red and grey.

Conclusion: Not my type.

6: ASW-G-32 Gundam Asmoday

Now here's a much better colour scheme, the lime green adds some much needed oomph to what would normally be a pretty drab look.

Unlike Astaroth Origin, Asmoday gives the impression of a resistance fighter, he doesn't want to fight, but he will do it for a cause he believes in, and won't slaughter children in the process.

Conclusion: Unfuckable only because we'd get too distracted discussing political theory.

7: ASW-G-35 Gundam Marchosias

Marchosias is badassery incarnate. She has a sword that can turn into a mace, and then has four extra swords on top of that.

I want to find out what else those arms can do, if you catch my drift.

She has also completely disappeared, and the cops are after her.

Conclusion: We'd fuck, and then I'd wake up to an empty bed with a note apologizing for having to leave early.

8: ASW-G-56 Gundam Gremory

Gremory is, so obsessed with being cool and edgy that it's like he never grew up past 14.

His claws look nice, but it's not enough for him to stand out, his gimmick is wearing a hood for stars sake!

Conclusion: Unfuckable

9: ASW-G-XX Gundam Vidar

Vidar is what Gremory wants to be. he's cool, he's mysterious, he's got swords in his feet, and he actually has a good colour scheme.

He's pretty obsessed though and not exactly mentally stable.

Conclusion: while a relationship is off the table, a night of rough sex is not.

10: ASW-G-66 Gundam Kimaris Vidar

And breaking into the double digits is... Vidar again.

Kimaris Vidar has all the same problems that Vidar does, and none of the good parts.

he looks like a prototype that was smashed together over the weekend.

Conclusion: No

11: ASW-G-71 Gundam Dantalion

Dantalion is... Interesting. She looks a bit plain on her own, unfinished almost.

You'd think her armor fixes that, but it makes it seem like she's compensating for something, it doesn't fit her at all, like she's trying hide away who she is beneath it all.

Conclusion: That girl needs help, and I don't think I could give it to her.

12: ASW-G-11 Gundam Gusion

This is Gusion before he pulled his life together. He's hanging with a bad crowd, takes credit from others work, and is one step away from being a nazi.

He's an incel, essentially.

Conclusion: No woman wants to be in a two mile radius of him, me included.

13: ASW-G-04 Gundam Gamigin

He has a fucking revolver-hammer-glaive and a minigun.

This guy would smash down the door of a nazi and threaten to beat him to death.

Unfortuneately, he's also an enforcer for a very rich family.

Conclusion: I could fix him.

14: ASW-G-16 Gundam Zepar

He pretends to be a knight, fighting for justice and all that, but secretly is just the worst.

Also, he's definitely a crypto bro. Instant turn off.

Conclusion: I'll send you an NFT of my fucking dick, bitch.

15: ASW-G-48 Gundam Haagenti

This girl is ready to fight, and she doesn't have to stop being feminine to do that.

She would, however, definitely be a terf and call me a slur.

Conclusion: I don't have a degradation kink.

16: ASW-G-54 Gundam Murmur

In an alternate universe where I was a rich cis woman, we'd have an affair while our husbands were away which would scandalize the business world.

Hower, I am a disabled trans woman.

Conclusion: She's more likely to call the cops on me than go down on me.

17: ASW-G-61 Gundam Zagan

Zagan works out a lot, and brags a bunch about being a professional athlete.

However, he is actually a loser who is ontologically incapable of winning.

Conclusion: Normally not into such muscular men, but I'd make an exception if he dropped the bragging.

And that's all the IBO Gundams I could find ranked by how fuckable they are.

If you disagree with this list remember: My opinions are objective fact and anyone who disagrees with me is wrong.

[kalethemonster]

my american trans siblings, you will be under a fascist government once january rolls around. that fact is fucking terrifying. even for me as an aussie. (though your politics heavily affect us also bc all social media algorithms treat anyone posting in english as american)

take your time to mourn your freedom. you're losing sooo fucking much and it breaks my heart. the next two months you have left should be used for networking with irl trans people and preparing yourself mentally. let yourself morn but for fucks sake stay alive.

every day you exist is an act of resistance against those who wish you never existed in the first place.

so, how can you keep yourself existing?

irl? go back to 80's queer social policy. dont ask, dont tell. but definately use ways of signing to other queer people that you are one. with irl community, do your best to keep eachother afloat and help where you can. if you grow food, share it out. if you have a vacant room, add someone who needs a place to your household (ground rules and house rules important obvi). if you gotta go back in the closet do so, if you're already transitioning medically do your best to stock up on hrt during the next two months. your irl community is the best resource you have, so networking to find them while you an still do so freely in the next two months is critical.

social media is a tad more complicated so i'll break it down by site/company.

twitter: archive any important past posts you have made via screenshots and then just fucking nuke your account, delete all posts you have made individually to make sure and the delete the acc. elongated muskrat is the annoying orange's biggest financial supporter. he will turn over any and all info he government may request about trans and queer users. if you ever needed any more reasons to dump twitter thab the ones you have already had, take this one.

meta: in terms of facebook, if you still need it for family, archive posts abt being trans via screenshots, and delete said posts. if they were posted by supportive familiy members then get them to delete what they have posted of your identity for safety reasons, then only use for family you can only reach through it. for instagram and threads private any accounts you have that has your personal information attached other than ones for personal businesses. if you need public account access for reaching out,, make an account with only your first name listed, fill it with aesthetic shit or meme posts so it isn't easily linked to you as a person.

as far as i know with bluesky, more or less post as usual but stilll protect your personal information. first name and pronouns only. do not include location markers.

redit, hold all personal info verry close to your heat, give nothing away, have like 50 burners, you dont need karma.

youtube, if you only use it for viewing, use as normal. if you upload, do your best to not show ANY recognisable outdoor landmarks, keep personal info tight, and donot get into anything political. if you can take a hiatus that would be even better.

tumblr: post as normal minus locational and government info.

common thread here is do not reveal any personal shit at all and do your best to conceal what is already posted. back to 90s rules for most sites. unfortunately tech-literate bigots finding your info is a possibility and so you want to withhold as much as you can to avoid being located and identified.

general ruled (both irl and online):

you are dealing with fascists. anything out of line they will actively try to snuff out. if anyone st all tries to get you to talk about ANYTHING REMOTE POLITICAL in any form of public space, SHUT THE FUCK UP. completely shut it down with "i dont talk about politics" or "i dont like politics". yes it's the pussy's answer to get out of shit, but being a pussy in the presence of violent fascists keeps you alive. if they try to talk about palastine, shut the fuck up. if they try to talk about trans people, shut the fuck up. if they try to talk about abortion, shut the fuck up. if they try to talk about disability/meantal health. from new years onwards, you will treat any person in the US who tried to talk about any of that shit in public that isn't doing it for the sake of protest as a narc. you will only properly discuss it behind closed doors with trusted family, comunity and allies.

as of new years day, it is the job of all allies in the us to basically be human shields for not only queer communities, but disabled, migrant, and any form of non-white communities too. if you are cis, white, able bodied, and have been an american citizen from birth, and happen to be a decent person, you are the ones who gotta protect those who cant protect themselves or cant leave the country. yes even if you're queer. if you are a white cis queer person, you can hide your sexuality for 4 years. most trans and intersex people cannot hide their gender or traits.

to recap: for the next two months, mourn your freedom, connect with your local queer comunity. do not share any personal info anywhere online unless you have a buisness, and then keep said info to the bare minimum. if people try to talk to you in public, shut the fuck up. allies and white cis lgb must protect those who cant run or hide.

the next four years are gonna be hell. but just know that of it seems no one has your back, this trans man all the way in australia has your back. love from me, my cousin, and my wonderfully supportive mother. stay sane, aqy safe, stay together.

[bunnylouisegrimes]

A Quick Thank You

I just wanted to give you guys a quick thank you for all the kind messages and support despite my depressing posts yesterday. I'm finally starting to feel a little bit better physically. I think the reason I've been feeling so negative emotionally and mentally was how rough this Thanksgiving weekend was being so sick and unable to have a dinner with my family, and having to be sequestered in my room to ensure they don't get sick. Outside of studying for my final (which is overwhelming and hard to focus on as it is), all I had for entertainment was essentially Internet breaks, which led to a lot of dwelling about dumb fandom things and insecurity. Basically, doomscrolling but with negative content and insecurity rather than real-world events.

My fandom fears were mostly centered on people thinking that I am an annoying part of the AP community that I so wished existed back around the time I first left Tumblr, and that the few people who want to talk about the Purge and the Polite Leader would see my content for this (very small almost nonexistent fandom) and recoil in disgust. But seeing those of you who talked to me made me realize that I'm not as alone as I might think.

I post a variety of works, all inspired by fanfiction writers that left impressions on me in my preteen and teenage years, and even now in adulthood. I post a whole lot of fluff and angst, and in recent years, I've begun posting smut. I love the (gentle and firm) maledom/femsub dynamic, especially with a master and slave/servant/pet dynamic. I should never have shame in this. It brings me joy and happiness. It's a part of my sexuality, which leads me to my next point...

As for my kinks: I'm interested in them for several very specific reasons: they all involve the idea of "becoming one" with someone/something you love, you completely escape with them, and you completely give in and submit to them. Hypnokink involves complete trust and giving everything to another, going into a happy mindset. Soft, safe oral vore involves being quite literally "consumed" by someone more powerful and someone you love, being safe inside of them. Transformation fetish is another form of being consumed by someone you love, going into a happy mindset completely filled by them. I love my f/os so much that not only are they my f/os, but I wish to be consumed by them. With this all being said, I need to remind myself that I should never have shame for these things, especially with how full of love they are. After all, the writers of these kinks I grew up reading on Deviantart (are you that surprised that's where I found them? 🙃) had the confidence to share their works and instill inspiration and happy memories for me. Why shouldn't I give back?

Lastly, I should have pride for being a self shipper. Maybe my content will always be obscure or never popular compared to the rest, but that shouldn't matter. It is made with pure love for these characters, and that is what matters. I need to always remind myself that if anyone ever has a problem with my content, they can always block me.

Thank you all again for reading this and for your support on here and AO3. Here's to hoping I can always remember this post and the points I made in the future. I'm not perfect, and I'll have my down days. But at least I know I have my own place with all of you ♥️♥️♥️

[scribble-dee-vee]

Writeblr Intro circa 2024

Hi writeblr!! Sooo, I've been around here since about 2014. (Yes, I am ancient.) However, I've been dormant for the past 4-5 years. Blame college and a brief stint on Twitter. Now that I'm active again, I thought I should make an updated writeblr intro so ppl know my Deal. Basically, I want to engage with other folks who write fiction (esp original SF), and that's a little easier if I have a clear post that outlines what I do. Here to make connections and hear about your blorbos :)

About me

Hi, I'm Vee! They/them, 23, 💖 🤍 🧡

I do journalism/comms in western New York

My literary jam is feminist/adult SF and gothic lit (OG or modern) 🥀 ⚔️ 🌙

Enthusiastic about gay people, body horror, and sociopolitical allegories

I cook, run, play tabletop games, and occasionally draw. Other than that, I'm mostly writing (for work and for fun)

If you were on pre-2020 writeblr, you likely know me from my eight billion daily tag games. (I still like tag games and appreciate u for tagging me. I have also gained adult responsibilities and better mental health, so I respond very slowly now. <3)

Always happy to get asks or dms, tho as I've noted: I may reply slowly.

Sometimes open to beta read! I only read one longer project at a time, but it's always super fun :)

I tag very consistently – happy to tag triggers for followers/moots

Fun fact: I love mushroom hunting and worked as a mycology TA. #cottagecoreera 🍄 🧚‍♀️ 🌱

About my creative writing

I write,,,, feminist/adult SF with gothic leanings (surprise!)

Longform and short! Trying to do more short writing this year, and I'll likely share a bit on Tumblr. It's easier to clip a short story than a 150k novel, god bless.

The Aesthetic: moral g(r)ays, Victoriana, androids/cyborgs, Women™, monstrous femininity, incessant Hamlet/Frankenstein motifs, extremely boring socioeconomic worldbuilding, evil queens and/or dilfs, psychosexual witchcraft, probably a cat. Also, an ominous, plot-relevant letter laced with anthrax from your unhinged and brilliant ex-wife. Open if you dare.

Major projects

I'm going to be writing some short work this year, but these are the longer projects that I have going in the background. If I reblog blorbo-related text posts, they probably have something to do with these.

Let me know if you want to be added to any project-specific taglists 😎

Heart of Lead – Series

The big one

Perpetually evolving

Never ceasing

Pls send help I can't stop adding shit

5-book gothic fantasy epic that I'll definitely publish one day but probably no time soon! My bastard child, my wicked firstborn, my greatest love <3

Character-oriented political drama set in a pseudo-Victorian, dystopian oligarchy where everyone's heart is made out of metal. It's about coming of age and discovering queer identity in a world that is absolutely fucked. God is an extraterrestrial lesbian who gives ppl very traumatizing magic powers. There are cyborgs, shapeshifters, and morally gray women in STEM. It's tight as fuck idk what else what to tell u.

Book 1 is about achillean monarchists, and book 2 is about sapphic anarchists. There are only two genders, I guess.

At this point, I've drafted most of the books at least once. Working to refine a lot of raw material atm!

Tag: "heart of lead tag" or "hol tag"

Lost Letters – Book

Aka the current active HoL WIP, and book one in the revised series structure

Length: 80k as of now; around 120-140k when the first draft is finished, I presume.

Genre: adult fantasy, gothic, noir detective drama?? um?? If you want me to frame it in BookTok terms (why?) it's a dark academia villain x villain tragic romantasy. Hrgh.

Summary: Cyborg soldier goes to college, joins a shady socialite frat, and falls in love with the jilted heir-apparent to the throne. Hilarity ensues.

(By "hilarity," I mean a militant revolutionary faction and a tragedy of Greek proportions.)

POV characters: Charles (the cyborg), Dale (the heir), and Cecelia (Charles' sister, a junior detective, the love of my life and potentially the Chosen One???)

This book is twisty and dark and immensely fun to write.

I'm about halfway through the first full draft! Hoping to share snippets and vaguepost about my children here.

Tag: "lost letters tag" (also "hol tag," tho that one's less specific)

The Last of Mortal Tourists – Book

The next longform project on the docket!

Length: a standalone work that will hopefully fall on the shorter novel/novella spectrum.

Genre: literary SF, cyberqueer, psychological space quest

Summary: The consciousness of a dead coding genius, trapped inside a spaceship, seeks a new planet to sustain their sister, the last surviving human, after the destruction of Earth.

If you're here to get wildly philosophical about gender and the myth of essential self, this is the story for you! That's why I'm writing it, lol. 🏳️‍⚧️ 🚀 🤖

This one started out as a short story (100% finished) which I want to expand.

POV: Archer Alto, the coder. Spaceship? Human? Soul?

Supporting Cast: Pandora, the last human, and Abby, a holographic impression of Archer's childhood consciousness

Tag: "the last of mortal tourists tag" or "tlomt tag"

If you read all this way, you get a whole bouquet of flowers that are certainly NOT poisonous: 🌸 🌹 💐 🥀 🌺

<3

[princesssarisa]

I've decided not to write any more long posts about why some people don't like Disney's Belle. I've probably been dwelling too much in other people's negative thoughts that I disagree with. But here are the rest of the critiques of Belle's character that I've read, and my short, succinct thoughts on each one.

I still think it's very interesting that some critics think Belle is too sweet and gentle, too feminine, and not "strong" or "modern" enough, while others think she's too defiant, too "modern," and not sweet or gentle enough.

Her desires at the beginning are ill-defined: she wants "adventure" and "more," but has no specific goal. This is true, but personally, I don't mind it. Plenty of us don't know exactly what we want from life, but do know that we want more excitement and wonderment.

She does nothing but read and complain in the village; she makes no effort to achieve her dreams of adventure, and she never does any realistic peasant chores, which makes her come across even more as a spoiled rich girl. I think it's implicit that Belle and Maurice are too poor to leave the village – that's why Maurice sets out to gain fame and fortune with his invention. And I think Belle's never doing housework onscreen was part of Linda Woolverton's feminist agenda. Maybe it's not realistic, and maybe it's overly "second wave feminist," but I do think it was fair of Woolverton to want to break away from the Walt-era Princess model and not show Belle cooking or cleaning.

Her dreams of adventure are side-swept in favor of a mere love story. I think there are two ways of addressing this issue. One is to argue that her dreams of adventure do come true, just in a way she never expected. The other, supported more by the song "A Change in Me" from the musical, is that she does lose her dreams, but for the better, as she realizes her life doesn't need to be like a romantic storybook to be happy.

Her romance with the Beast isn't nearly as fleshed-out or as realistic as fans claim it is. This is subjective. Some people think it's one of the best-written romance arcs in cinema.

She affects meek politeness and plays games with Gaston instead of plainly refusing his advances. First of all, if Belle didn't care about politeness, she would be a hypocrite to criticize Gaston and the Beast for their rudeness. Secondly, Gaston is intimidating. Third, this is only the beginning of her journey – with the Beast, she arguably learns to stand up to someone who mistreats her, which lets her decisively reject Gaston and call him a monster later on.

She seems to blindly love all books without questioning their content, which could be dangerous, especially when the French Revolution arrives. Belle has no trouble thinking for herself. If she can open her heart and mind to the Beast, and loathe Gaston while the rest of the town adores him, then I'm sure she can tell good books apart from bad and dangerous books. And the fashions in the movie are such a mish-mosh that I'm not sure if it takes place before the French Revolution or after... or if the French Revolution will even happen in this fairy tale world.

She sacrifices her own needs for men. Yes she does, but it's not framed in a gendered way, and both the Beast and Maurice do the same for her.

She emasculates the Beast. Well, I'll admit that the Beast's arc isn't very empowering for him – that's the whole point, that he learns to give up some of his personal power and love unselfishly. But is that necessarily a bad thing? I'll also admit that sometimes, I feel troubled that the Beast lets the mob attack the castle and does nothing to protect his servants. Still, we probably shouldn't judge a character whose mental health is clearly suffering at this point: immobilizing, suicidal despair doesn't only exist in fiction, so we should think twice before we call it "weakness" or "emasculation."

She needs male characters to rescue her – the Beast from the wolves, Chip from the cellar. I respect the complaint that the Disney Renaissance movies still rely too much on the "boy rescues girl" trope, but there's no shame in needing to be rescued. Especially because in the forest scene, Belle is just one human facing a whole pack of wolves, and in the cellar scene, her father is rescued too.

She never uses her skills, knowledge, or passions to solve problems – the only purpose they serve is to unite her with the Beast. I think this is just a genre problem. The whole story is geared toward uniting Belle and the Beast in love, and every story beat serves that end.

She almost leaves the Beast to die in the snow and stays angry about the West Wing incident even after he saves her life. The former is only a split second, while the latter is only in self-defense when the Beast unfairly blames her for his injury. Besides, consider the context of how the Beast has behaved until this point!

She's a hypocrite for giving the Beast a second chance yet dismissing Gaston as a monster. She doesn't give the Beast a chance until he risks his life to save hers. If Gaston had done anything like that, she would have given him a second chance too, but he doesn't. Gaston is also far more cold-blooded and narcissistic than the Beast ever is.

She's to blame for the Beat's near-death at the climax because she reveals his existence to Gaston and the other villagers. Of course she is. It's explicitly framed as a terrible mistake and she openly blames herself. But it's an impulsive act of desperation to save her father, and she tries to explain that the Beast is kind and gentle. Until it's too late, it clearly doesn't cross her mind that the villagers could form a mob to kill him!

She plays a nurturing, motherly role to both the Beast and her father. I agree that heroines shouldn't need to be nurturing. But it's not inherently anti-feminist to be that way!

She's sidelined in the final battle. Yes, this is true, but her presence is still essential to the scene, and not every heroine needs to be an action girl.

Her portrayal falls short of the original Beauty's greatest virtues: her kindness, selflessness, and compassion. Belle still has those qualities, they're just combined with more "modern" ones (adventurousness, defiance toward unjust authority figures, etc.). Besides, Disney had already made several excellent movies about heroines defined by kindness and gentleness. What's wrong with giving Belle a slightly different set of virtues?

She's too traditionally feminine and ladylike. I think most of us can agree that "femininity" ≠ "anti-feminist," and anyone who thinks that way is a little misguided.

Her creators glorify her at the expense of the other Disney Princesses. I agree that it was unfair and mean-spirited of Linda Woolverton to imply that the three Walt-era Princesses are "insipid," but I do respect her insistence on making Belle a different, more "modern" heroine. And I agree that Paige O'Hara was mistaken when she described Belle as "the first Princess not looking for a man" (neither Cinderella nor Ariel dream of romance until they actually meet their princes), but I don't hold that against Belle.

She's too blatantly written as a role model – she doesn't feel like a real person, but like a living instruction manual for how a "smart," "empowered" woman should behave. This is valid. But I personally do think she seems like a real person as well as a role model, and I think she's engaging enough that I don't mind the obvious "role model" qualities.

[makopi--kimni]

I promise you a better future... (Part 1)

Summary : As Kanade is desperately trying to compose a song that could save Mafuyu, Mizuki and Ena notice that Kanade is absolutely destroying her physical and mental health. What can they do to help her ?

1:00 AM.

Time to log in Nightcord.

And that's what Kanade did. Just like every night, she logged into Nightcord, turned her mic on and joined the voice chat. Mafuyu was already there, but Ena and Mizuki weren't. They probably were busy for now.

"Hello, K." Mafuyu said.

"Oh, hello, Yuki." Kanade replied, surprised that Mafuyu was the first one talking. Usually, Mafuyu was either pretty silent, or just replying when she was talked to. But recently, Mafuyu seemed to be more comfortable with the members of Nightcord at 25. Still.. Kanade knew perfectly that Mafuyu wasn't okay, and that it was just a small step forward. A tiny, little, step forward. "Do you know when Amia and Enanan will be online ?"

"No, not really. They will probably be here in a few minutes." Mafuyu answered.

"Oh, okay."

And then, the silence was back. The silence that Kanade recently started to hate.

A few minutes passed in the uncomfortable silence and, finally, a little sound could be heard from both of Mafuyu's and Kanade's phones.

"Hello ? Oh, hi, you two." Ena said, seemingly happy to be online with them.

"Hi hi~♪ ! How is everyone doing ??" Mizuki added, just after Ena.

It was strange, but Kanade was quite happy to hear Mizuki's and Ena's voices. These voices were breaking the loud silence. The so, so loud silence....

"I'm good. Thank you for asking." Mafuyu simply said.

It was so obvious that Mafuyu was simply replying politely. Not because she actually meant it. It's not like she knew how she felt... And that exact thing was truly starting to scare Kanade. She knew Mafuyu and the others for quite a while now but... She still couldn't manage to compose a song that saved her. Not a single one. She made her discover new things about herself, yes but... It wasn't enough...

"Um... K ? Are you alright ?"

"Ah-" was the only sound that came out of Kanade's mouth, surprised and suddenly out of her thoughts. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you..."

"I asked if everything was okay, K ?" Mizuki repeated. "You weren't replying so..."

"Oh, I'm sorry... Yes, I'm fine, don't worry."

"Okay... If you say so." Mizuki added. "Anyways ! I'm finished with the MV of our new song ! I added darker colors here, and a bit of brighter ones there, just like you suggested, Enanan ! It turned out super great !"

"Of course it did, it was my idea." Ena replied. Mizuki could tell how proud she was even without seeing her face. "But since you're finished, it means we can post this song and work on a new one, right ?"

"I think it does." Mafuyu said, before adding, "Are we right ?"

"..Yes, it's right." Kanade answered. "I'm going to post it right now, and I'll work on a new demo after that."

"Okay." Mafuyu said.

Just after, Kanade did it. She posted the song, checked if the song was correctly online, and she immediately started to work on a new instrumental.

"Hey, K, do you have any idea of what the theme of the new song will be ?" Ena asked. "This way, it could give me an idea for a very rough sketch for the illustration."

"Oh, um... Not really. At least, I'll have to work a bit more on the demo to give you the answer.. I'm sorry, Enanan."

"Don't worry, it's fine ! Then, if there's nothing more than I need to do, I think I'll log off and go to sleep..." She said before yawning. "I'm pretty tired..."

"Aww, Enanan's cute when she's tired~" Mizuki said, teasingly.

"Hey ! I can hear you, you know ?"

"Aren't you supposed to go to sleep~?"

"Can't you stop teasing me ?" Ena said, angry. "Anyways, I'm gonna log off. Goodnight, everyone."

"Good night !" Mizuki replied. "I think it's time for me to go to bed, too.. Goodnight !"

"It's in fact getting pretty late. It would be better for everyone to just go to sleep." Mafuyu added. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Simply said Kanade, not intending on sleeping anytime soon.

She simply logged off, just like Mafuyu, but Ena and Mizuki were still online, despite them saying that they were going to go to sleep. Strange, isn't it ?

"...Hey, Amia..?"

"Yes, Enanan ?"

"Do you know if... If Kanade is okay ?" Ena asked, worried.

"Well.. I was about to ask you the same thing, actually."

Funny. They both had a feeling that something was... Off.

"Oh ? Really ?"

"Yes !" Mizuki said. "I was kinda hoping that I wasn't the only one who felt like.. like.."

"Like she's overworking herself and putting others before herself ?"

"...You could say that, yes, haha.." Mizuki laughed nervously.

"No but seriously, I'm really worried for her... She's so focused on saving other people, especially Mafuyu, that she completely forgets that she needs help too..."

"Yes... But no matter how much we try to open her eyes, she doesn't really see what she's doing wrong for herself... I just wished she would listen to us.."

It was such a complex problem. How were they supposed to do to finally make Kanade understand that she also deserves to be selfish from time to time ? Kanade was stubborn, in her own way, which made things complicated. Suddenly, Ena had an idea..

"How about you and I meet up to talk about it, Amia ? I'm sure it would help us more if we could discuss it face to face !"

"Well.. That's not a bad idea. So... Sure ! Where do you want to meet up ?"

"Is the cafe okay ?"

"Yeah, don't worry !"

"Great ! See you tomorrow, then ! Goodnight !"

"Goodnight !"

3:30 AM.

Time to sleep.

(END OF PART 1)

[star-anise]

Pulling a piece out of an already massive post to reply to @zenosanalytic :

Most of this is great, but I feel like this overstates the influence and power of exclusionists; they never took over either Feminist or Lesbian groups or turned them en masse against bisexuals and transpeople, at least not in the US(in Britain it's an accurate description from what I've read). They def were still there, TRYING to(they were majorly annoying in the Fair scene), and you'd meet them or lesbian-separatists moving in wider queer circles, but they were pretty consistently losing that fight especially in academic and political queer orgs and, by the 00s, were pretty much irrelevant. They stayed that way until the Conservative movement deliberately revived/coopted them in the 10s.

Because... here's the bit from the original post I think this is talking about:

That process of expelling bi women from lesbian groups with immense prejudice continues to this day and leaves scars on a lot of bi/pan people. A lot of bisexuals, myself included, have an experience of “double discrimination”; we are made to feel unwelcome or invisible both in straight society, and in LGBT spaces.

It is absolutely true that radfems did not succeed in making exclusionary politics the mainstream policy of LGBT institutions. Hooowever. That's not what I was talking about.

Most people do not engage with the LGBTQ+ community solely by, like... walking into a policy meeting at GLAAD. Generally we do things like finding LGBTQ+ content on social media, or by attending LGBTQ+ social events, or by trying to find people to date!

In those settings, groups that are minoritized within the LGBTQ+ community (bi, pan, m-spec, ace, aro, trans, nb, etc) experience being treated in ways that are invalidating or derogatory. Not all the time! #notalllesbians!! The majority of the community might actually be kind and welcoming, and it might be relatively small microaggressions. But those microaggressions can happen often enough, and in a context where not much is being done to show that we are valued by the community, to create a sense of wariness and unwelcome in a space that ought to be safe for us.

I didn't attend a single LGBTQ+ event, or try to date a single woman, my entire undergrad career, because when I was 16, the first real-life gays and lesbians I ever met laughed and joked, in my hearing, about how bisexual teenage girls are just sluts who are doing it for the attention, not actually gay. It's not that I believed them, since they were obviously wrong; it's just that I went, "Oh okay, so LGBT spaces are still ones where I'll be bullied and shit-talked. I absolutely cannot deal with any more of that, so I'll just never go into those spaces."

Mine is a very small story. There are a lot of little stories like mine, and also ones big enough that they'd look exclusionary even to an outside observer. I know people who actually did get pushed out of their college GSAs, or lost their whole social support network, or had people try to coerce them into thinking they were horrible misguided tools of the patriarchy, in LGBT spaces, because they were bi, pan, m-spec, ace, aro, trans, nb, etc.

If you'd clicked the link in the post labelled "double discrimination", you'd read an NBC article that says, in part:

“This study adds to the growing body of research confirming that bisexual people face unique mental health disparities [that are] closely related to stigma and discrimination [they face] from straight, gay and lesbian communities,” Heron Greenesmith, a senior policy analyst at LGBTQ advocacy organization Movement Advancement Project, said.

(Note: this means "unique" as compared to gays and lesbians, which have been the focus of most mental health research and practice in this area. Namely, bisexuals tend to face certain pressures as a group that cis gays and lesbians don't so much. It does not mean "unique" as in "only bisexuals experience this". Bisexuals are just one of many groups that feel unwelcome or unsafe in LGBTQ+ spaces they ought to belong in.

Maybe you didn't mean to imply that all these experiences didn't happen. I hope you didn't. Because it would be really goshdarn silly for someone who's been on Tumblr for years to suggest that the 2010s were not a fucking golden age of young LGBTQ+ people tentatively reaching out to explore their gender and sexuality, and being deluged with immense volumes of bullshit by other LGBTQ+ people for it.

I don't want to in any way discourage people from reaching out to LGBTQ+ groups, because it's very possible that the reward will far outweigh the risks. It's possible that other people will welcome you and will enforce a code of conduct against anyone who gives you shit. I'm not saying, "Hide forever! You're on your own, kid!"

But on the other hand, it is very easy, in a million different ways, to say "We didn't think very hard about making these groups feel welcome and protected in our space" without ever writing it into official policy.

[pistatsia]

My first book is out!

HI HELLO EVERYONE, my debut book is finally out and available for purchase!

The exact way I (and you, hopefully) like it: not actually that bad traumatised young people making terrible decisions and then dealing with the consequences while digging up through their entire mentality and life patterns in parallel. This time in a mystery wrapper. Also there's football, because of course there's football. I didn't write the stupid kids kicking the ball these past two years in order to just cast those skills off.

Of course, this is not everything - I love to think that this book is about the need of overcoming yourself, the right of a human for their own fight, impossibility for a child to harm an adult on an equal level, understanding of responsibility, and, most importantly, acceptance of oneself and one's past even in those things that cannot be undone or fixed, - but let me be funny for once.

Once upon a time, a boy meets a girl… And then one of them kills her father. Thirteen years later they both confess to the murder. Who exactly is the real killer? That's a good question, and you have the unique chance to acquire that sacred knowledge for only 3 euro 83 cents. A deal of a lifetime, if you ask me.

So, come read “Louder Than Lies”. In addition to the little hell of psychological themes highlighted, here we have:

Heterobaiting (should be impossible to write but here we are);

Psychopath character study (I wish I was joking);

Childhood friends trope gone WRONG.

And, of course, the main cast, starring:

The gem of all annoying character archetypes, literal wiki trope thinking he's the hell of originality, born to slay but forced to take antipsychotics, crime suspect in reality but an actor in heart. That actually says the truth but only after blabbering on about his stupid life for two hours (And is also wittingly manipulating the investigation)

His childhood friend, unreliable narrator of her own life, waiting for the aforementioned disgrace of a humankind to ruin the rest of what's left of her already ruined life. A suspect in killing, but POLITE because hypercomensation does wonders to a human being (And is also unwittingly manipulating the investigation)

“Holy hell, call the police! Fuck, wdym I'm the police” main character guy trying to uncover this mess, extraordinare Kai "no my mommy issues absolutely DO NOT interfere with the investigation please trust" Laas

If my reputation as a ficwriter matters to you in any way, I'm betting it all on this book. Seriously. I realise that even for someone whose work you know, it can be uncomfortable to throw money away like that. That's why I'm opening up asks again, and will periodically post book-related stuff on my blog, as well as the fragments from the book - so you'll have a chance to ask, rate, giggle, cry, and decide. In addition, a preview snippet should be available on Amazon - you can also give the idea of reading the book a shot after reading it. I will also upload some extra stories on ao3.

On top of that, since I'm not promoting the book in full mode yet because I want to finish the second part first, in comparison to future readers you have a unique opportunity to build on your theories, solve the few lines remaining before I'll publish. And even rant about it with me, so who knows? Maybe you'll influence the way the plot would be embodied. I'd say it's worth the stakes.

Obviously, buying my book will mean a lot to me (especially if you've also read some of the 270k ao3 words I posted in all this time). Thank you for your trust and for reaching the end this post; I really do hope all those hairs lost from nerves in the process of writing it will tip the scales of the decision in my favour.

GET THE BOOK

Cover artist

[goodluckclove]

An Open Letter to a Professional Author

I came across a writer here who I imagine will probably never see this, but their presence was enough to make me pretty mad for two days now. I've decided to pen a little statement to this Long-Term, Professional, Full-Time, Published Author who makes a habit out of being deeply unpleasant in a way that apparently has only attracted an audience of other deeply unpleasant people.

People here seem to like it when I get mad. So, uh, enjoy?

Dear Professional Author,

I came across a post of yours on some feed here the other day and enjoyed your commentary. It was one of those writing memes that sort of called attention to actually writing as opposed to just thinking about your project - the kind that people usually respond to with some sort of joke expressing their repulsion at the concept.

You responded with distaste and I generally agreed. The tone was a little aggressive for me, but that kind of humor also leaves me generally confused. I personally ended up concluding that the self-deprecating humor was a coping mechanism for a larger issue that keeps these people from writing - intimidation, lack of confidence, physical or mental pain, things like that. You seemed to think it was a matter of will, which I found to be an approach that at the very least was well-intentioned.

Turns out it wasn't.

First off, I should say that this isn't about your political beliefs. Your political beliefs that are really more like general human beliefs. I don't want to get into that. Instead, I just want to talk about your writing. You are a full-time, published author, as you say in nearly post where you talk about writing. A major point of pride to you seems to be the fact that you are traditionally published. Any other method doesn't seem to be as legitimate to you. That's interesting to me.

You also don't seem to have much of an audience outside of people who mainly come to agree with your politics. I didn't really see a single positive interaction between you and another writer on here for as much as I was willing to scroll through your blog. That's also interesting to me.

I didn't spent too much time on your blog once I realized that you were definitely not the kind of person I would ever want any interaction with. What I did want to do is use your presence indirectly to prove a point that I've been wanting to get into for some time now.

To put it simply, I'll say this: a career in professional writing is not actually as cool or important as you might think it is.

Now I'll be direct and say that I've never been traditionally published for anything longer than a short story or long-term, unpaid column. You don't give any details on any of your writing, as far as I've seen (Once again - interesting!), so there's a chance you've made more in contracts and royalties than I have. But I'm a working writer. I've had a career in ghostwriting and technical writing. I've written and produced plays that have been featured in festivals in multiple states. I'm not speaking from a place of no experience, is what I mean to say.

What I also mean to say is that - while I view writing in many ways as a spiritual and healing act that I couldn't live without - it's also a job. It's not always exciting, and even when it is exciting it's only exciting to me. I consider the best date night to be when my wife works on video game development while I write my draft. I leave the house on a regular basis, but it's mainly to go to different places to write.

In short - I love to write, but I don't think it makes me cool. Or interesting. Or valuable. Or intelligent. Or just generally fun to be around and talk to. These are things I strive to cultivate in other aspects of the way I live and grow as a human being on this planet.

Being a Professional Author in one particular genre doesn't give you authority over the craft as a whole. You can't just throw yourself into conversations and start with I'm a published writer and assume that means you have the final say on any discussion. Believe it or not, in many cases it does not matter.

Lots of people are published traditionally, and it does prove some level of validity in their line of work. But there are a huge variety of people in the world of trad pub. There are people who write books in genres that don't apply to writers here. There are people who write books that aren't very good. There are even people who write trad pub books that are very good, but their careers are sullied by the fact that the authors themselves are not good people.

Being a successful writer does not mean you're a good person. Being a writer at all does not mean you are a good person. I believe in Death of the Author to an extent, but when that author insists on making a presence on a public website and doling out advice and opinions to other writers the lines start to blur considerably.

Writing is a job. You work it over a period of time and learn skills and strategies that work for you. The same applies to virtually every other job, including ones that society views as less romantic as something in the arts. Can you imagine me breaking into your home while you're making lunch and telling you how to arrange your cheese slices based on what I know as a full-time, professional sandwich artist at Subway? You might be interested based on leaning something you didn't know about a place you might've eaten at before. But that does not entitle me to your respect on its own.

I am not entitled to your respect based on how well I learned how to make a sandwich based on my hypothetical career at Subway. Just as I don't deserve it solely because I know two card tricks, can get out a variety of stains, read most of the works of the major beatniks, can make a really good carbonara, or any other specific about my life that ultimately does not play a huge part in who I am as a person.

When I am on my death bed, I hope to god the core of my character was not the fact that I typed stories from my brain until I got carpal tunnel. If my obituary begins and ends at "writer", no matter how positive the qualifier is before that, it will be the greatest failure of my life.

Because I am a writer. But that does not matter. It does not matter if you're a writer. It can be fun and enjoyable if you are, even better if you make a living at it, but it doesn't mean you'll be happy. It doesn't mean people will like you or perceive you to be the leader and teacher you might think you are. It certainly doesn't give you a free pass to throw cruelty at strangers for truly no real reason.

Professional Author, you had a chance to raise up the next generation of an industry I assume you must value. You're choosing not to, and that's fine. You don't have the obligation to. You do have the choice to not get involved and pretend to give advice that ranges from vague to untrue. You seem to be taking that responsibility very seriously.

It's like some twist on crab mentality, where instead of dragging crabs trying to escape the bucket you're swiping at anyone who tries to crawl in with you. Then, as they struggle, you're looking down at them and making comments on how easy it is to get in the bucket, if you only just do it and maybe read some books.

To all of us, I say this: question authority, even in the arts. Especially in the arts. Nobody knows as much as they say. That includes me, but I do know this - any branch of publishing feels really good. It's scary but it's fun. If you're traditional published or indie published or self published, it says nothing about how good your book is or how good you are as a writer or how valuable you are as a human being.

Don't be this lonely bucket crab. They seem mean and I'm tired of talking about them.

Best Regards,

Clove