#this is the best shitpost of my life
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killkaramazov · 2 months ago
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TBK but everyone has a phone:
- Fyodor makes incomprehensible boomer voice to text posts on Facebook and sends inappropriate friend requests at odd hours when his ambien is kicking in.
- Grushenka has an Instagram with hundreds of gorgeous selfies and photos of herself that Mitya takes
- Madame K runs the local Facebook gossip group like the navy and posts shit like this on main every morning:
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- Ivan lurks Reddit and watches YouTube video essays. And sometimes gets into arguments with strangers because he’s a loser.
-Mitya has an Instagram with nothing on it but yearly #nationalboyfriendday posts of Grushenka that she insists he posts and follows a bunch of gymbros and cute baby animal meme accounts so that he can send their posts to Grushenka and say “that’s so you babe”
-Lise uses her 3 hours of daily iPad time to go on r/watchpeopledie and update her secret Tumblr dark coquette emo female manipulator femcel fujo blog. She has 20,000 followers but she had more before she got deleted for posting gore and had to remake.
-Alyosha has a flip phone and does not know any social media.
-Rakitin spends 4 hours a day scrolling through Twitter and 4chan and is a contributor on wikifeet.
-Smerdyakov femcel tumblrina royalty. Has sent anon hate telling people to kill themselves before. On multiple blocklists. Incoherent back to back personal posts at 2:00 in the morning:
I fucking hate it here
*screenshot of his own fragrantica review with 10,000 notes*
*spotify link to Norman Fucking Rockwell*
*10 reblogs in a row of the Margiela F/W show*
*depop screenshot* should I buy this lol
He and Lise are mutuals. They will never know this.
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everwalldigan · 3 months ago
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Bruce being a toxic boy mom when it comes to nightwing will never not be funny as fuck he is literally the biggest nightwing defender one bad word against him and the next day he’ll show up at ur house
Bonus:
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ruizpizzaria · 1 year ago
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"Drown yourself in the digital lake!"
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as they should
definitely real tadc plot leak caine told me himself
edit : what the FUCK 18k+ notes holy shit guys thanks??!?
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royaltea000 · 8 months ago
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Every letter addressed to Jonah Magnus just sounds like several men of good high standing who he’s tricked into giving him their knowledge money and affections realizing that they’ve fallen for a succubus but they can’t find it in them to hate him too hard- like do you know what I mean??? I know it’s just the old timey way of speaking but every statement just sounds like “please my evil twink, I beseech you!” Like this is why I can only imagine him as like very Dorian Gray-esque in my head. Please someone tell me I’m not crazy for thinking this that’s literally their evil bbg that’s sucked them for all they’re worth and thrown em away
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k1tty5 · 14 days ago
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[sad robot noises]
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canon-gabriel-quotes · 4 months ago
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Transcript:
I'd like to congratulate you on getting your CPR certification.
Now remember, when you’re going in for compressions, it should sound like somebody is standing behind you with the worlds largest Dorito and cracking it open!
Go in firm and hard and snap as many ribs as you can on the way down, that means you’re doing it right.
You save that life. Good luck.
Or... Or... Or kill them, I don’t fucking care.
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#ultrakill#gabriel ultrakill#congratulations this is misinformation and by listening to it you have actually gotten a bit dumber <3#you're welcome!#anyway. this is the first post using a new method for the filter. my second time completely redoing it lol#can anyone but me tell the difference? probably not! did i spend hours trying to figure it out? yes!#basically what i did was download an unedited audio from his patreon and compared it to the edited version (the srimp special if u care LOL#and did edits- then compared it to the edited version. over. and over. and over........ and over.......................#ANYWAY.#turns out i have been delaying too little#before i had done between .025 to .075 depending on the audio#its more around .1#i also downloaded reaper to add the bitcrush#so its about as close as i can get it without having the exact number that the filter is supposed to be delayed by#i could not for the life of me figure out why mine has less 'echo' but its close enough..#plus the audio from the streams is not the best quality and already has a slight filter on it anyway so like- theres only so much i can do#cough. so anyway i brought my laptop to work today and spent a long time figuring that out#paid to shitpost on company time~#also i have no idea if this is too loud or too quiet cause the audio levels on my laptop are weird#like anything over 10% volume is super loud#i was at 6% while editing but idk how that is going to translate over to other people uhhhhh idk let me know if its ok
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sea-jello · 2 months ago
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Day 8/October 8: Curses || Empty Titles || "You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?"
ik its late and its more of a concept sketch that anything anyways but like. do you understand the vision. was he ever called a general or am i imagining things
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lostsomewhereinthegarden · 5 months ago
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As a track athlete I just watched the Olympic Trials for track and field and….
WTF NOAH LYLES AKA THE FASTEST MAN IN THE WORLD AFTER USAIN BOLT LEFT THE SCENE IS PULLING OUT HOS FUCKING BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON AND SHOVING IT INTO THE FUCKING CAMERA!!!! YUGIOH WIN!!!! SETO KAIBA WOULD FEEL SOOOOOO MUCH PRIDE LIKE WTF???? HE SHOWED IT TO THE CAMERA BEFORE EVERY 100 METER RACE TOO I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HIM DO IT FOR THE 200 METERS!!
Its not even funny, I started ranting to my dad and the significance of the card and it’s importance to Yugioh, who owns it and what it means by Noah showing it.
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fishareglorious · 2 months ago
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i do a light chuckle once i remember hofmann and semmelweis are friends but then i remember semmelweis and marcus' suitcase interaction where they talk about her and i am once again inconsolable about this old woman's death
#reverse 1999#semmelweis#greta hofmann#certified storm moments#i miss hofmann so bad i know ill start sobbing when someone brings her up again in chapter 7#r1999 shitpost#i still think their canon ages are bullshit and theyre both older than canon in my head but yeah semmelweis is half hofmann's age (19 to 38#bluepoch i prommy you won't start profusely bleeding income if you make a character older than their mid twenties. i promise you that#nothing more but hofweis rambling after this you have been warned#anyways you mightve seen me here or there mention that i ship these two and. yes the age gap is a central theme to how i percieve them#semmelweis lived the dream (see how i say this in past tense) she bagged that old woman </3#the inherent angst of your partner being so much younger than you and close to death thanks to a terminal illness yet in the end#its actually you that dies first. and she ends up finding a cure to illness and ending up immortal. something something 'i will never see#how old age looks on you. you are breaking my heart.' and how it applies to both of their perspective towards the other#one went to vienna to (unknowingly) die and the other went there to live#koshka-sova said it best its a pair that dances round life and death. and can't forget about the inherent workplace yuri#also its funny thinking of marcus unwittingly finding out through either her arcane skill or some other method her mentor's coworker-friend#got it on with her. like i think the two start bonding because of hofmann but then one day marcus approaches her with haunted eyes and#shakily goes 'd...did you. did you and madam hofmann..? my arcane skill said. that you and. did you two......?'
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luna-the-bard · 7 months ago
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This is what trying to talk to my friend for the past several weeks has been like.
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starkittnd93 · 2 months ago
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…why is this unironically my best artwork posted on here so far-
[Textless version under the cut!]
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ow-my-zock-and-zalls · 3 months ago
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💔
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trashcreatyre · 1 year ago
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Realized I can finally draw the stupid idea I had a few years ago now that I can actually draw him lol
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quinngefail · 3 months ago
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Today's been pretty fucking epic in the Walmart
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s0ull3ss-p3rs0n · 3 months ago
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Garmadon you fucking dumbass atleast tell Lloyd how Oni biology works before you introduce him to his in-his-mind-biologically-impossible sister
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scarletlight-has-issues · 9 months ago
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Cursed joke Scarab drawing request from my algebra teacher. (I love him)
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