#this is the best shitpost of my life | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pavelkaramazov · 1 month ago

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TBK but everyone has a phone:

- Fyodor makes incomprehensible boomer voice to text posts on Facebook and sends inappropriate friend requests at odd hours when his ambien is kicking in.

- Grushenka has an Instagram with hundreds of gorgeous selfies and photos of herself that Mitya takes

- Madame K runs the local Facebook gossip group like the navy and posts shit like this on main every morning:

- Ivan lurks Reddit and watches YouTube video essays. And sometimes gets into arguments with strangers because he’s a loser.

-Mitya has an Instagram with nothing on it but yearly #nationalboyfriendday posts of Grushenka that she insists he posts and follows a bunch of gymbros and cute baby animal meme accounts so that he can send their posts to Grushenka and say “that’s so you babe”

-Lise uses her 3 hours of daily iPad time to go on r/watchpeopledie and update her secret Tumblr dark coquette emo female manipulator femcel fujo blog. She has 20,000 followers but she had more before she got deleted for posting gore and had to remake.

-Alyosha has a flip phone and does not know any social media.

-Rakitin spends 4 hours a day scrolling through Twitter and 4chan and is a contributor on wikifeet.

-Smerdyakov femcel tumblrina royalty. Has sent anon hate telling people to kill themselves before. On multiple blocklists. Incoherent back to back personal posts at 2:00 in the morning:

I fucking hate it here

*screenshot of his own fragrantica review with 10,000 notes*

*spotify link to Norman Fucking Rockwell*

*10 reblogs in a row of the Margiela F/W show*

*depop screenshot* should I buy this lol

He and Lise are mutuals. They will never know this.

#george.txt #this is the best shitpost of my life

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everwalldigan · 2 months ago

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Bruce being a toxic boy mom when it comes to nightwing will never not be funny as fuck he is literally the biggest nightwing defender one bad word against him and the next day he’ll show up at ur house

Bonus:

#you won’t join the justice league you’ll be leading them #Bruce: nightwing is literally the best vigilante to ever exist #Bruce: when I grow up I wanna be like nightwing #meanwhile dick: ugh Bruce literally doesn’t respect me he always treats me like a child he thinks I’m incompetent #Bruce: you are literally who I aspire to me you’re the only thing I’ve ever done right in my entire life #dick: he’s such an ass I’m not a child anymore!! I can take care of myself why won’t he trust me??#Bruce: losing you would literally be the death of me I won’t lose you cause I’ll be joining you in death #batman #dc comics #bruce wayne #batfam #batfamily #dc robin #dick grayson #dcu #nightwing #good dad bruce wayne #unhinged dad Bruce Wayne #dick and bruce #shitpost #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batman quotes #batman twitter au

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ruizpizzaria · 1 year ago

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"Drown yourself in the digital lake!"

as they should

definitely real tadc plot leak caine told me himself

edit : what the FUCK 18k+ notes holy shit guys thanks??!?

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #tadc fanart #tadc caine #tadc jax #out here living my best life #tadc zooble #tadc ragatha #memes #shitpost #art #fanart #myart #gooseworx #digital art #digital illustration #digital circus

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royaltea000 · 7 months ago

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Every letter addressed to Jonah Magnus just sounds like several men of good high standing who he’s tricked into giving him their knowledge money and affections realizing that they’ve fallen for a succubus but they can’t find it in them to hate him too hard- like do you know what I mean??? I know it’s just the old timey way of speaking but every statement just sounds like “please my evil twink, I beseech you!” Like this is why I can only imagine him as like very Dorian Gray-esque in my head. Please someone tell me I’m not crazy for thinking this that’s literally their evil bbg that’s sucked them for all they’re worth and thrown em away

#I may only be thinking about a select few but these are all the ones that I remember #bear with me it’s been a while since I’ve finished tma #I’m thinking about Jonathan Fanshawe going I hate you never speak to me again I’m filing a restraining order #all the best and your loyal loving servant I miss you already bbg Jonathan 😔#Peter there is a long line of bodies before you #I mean that literally #boi really sucked the life outta em #and watched #thought about this real hard while brushing my teeth #tma podcast #tma #tma shitpost #the magnus archives #jonah magnus #elias bouchard

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canon-gabriel-quotes · 4 months ago

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Transcript:

I'd like to congratulate you on getting your CPR certification.

Now remember, when you’re going in for compressions, it should sound like somebody is standing behind you with the worlds largest Dorito and cracking it open!

Go in firm and hard and snap as many ribs as you can on the way down, that means you’re doing it right.

You save that life. Good luck.

Or... Or... Or kill them, I don’t fucking care.

Audio source

#ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #congratulations this is misinformation and by listening to it you have actually gotten a bit dumber <3 #you're welcome!#anyway. this is the first post using a new method for the filter. my second time completely redoing it lol #can anyone but me tell the difference? probably not! did i spend hours trying to figure it out? yes!#basically what i did was download an unedited audio from his patreon and compared it to the edited version (the srimp special if u care LOL #and did edits- then compared it to the edited version. over. and over. and over........ and over.......................#ANYWAY.#turns out i have been delaying too little #before i had done between .025 to .075 depending on the audio #its more around .1 #i also downloaded reaper to add the bitcrush #so its about as close as i can get it without having the exact number that the filter is supposed to be delayed by #i could not for the life of me figure out why mine has less 'echo' but its close enough..#plus the audio from the streams is not the best quality and already has a slight filter on it anyway so like- theres only so much i can do #cough. so anyway i brought my laptop to work today and spent a long time figuring that out #paid to shitpost on company time~#also i have no idea if this is too loud or too quiet cause the audio levels on my laptop are weird #like anything over 10% volume is super loud #i was at 6% while editing but idk how that is going to translate over to other people uhhhhh idk let me know if its ok

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sea-jello · 1 month ago

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Day 8/October 8: Curses || Empty Titles || "You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?"

ik its late and its more of a concept sketch that anything anyways but like. do you understand the vision. was he ever called a general or am i imagining things

#dont look for symbolism i havent brainrotted about season 5 in forever #not my best work its kinda shitty i def could have done better with the whole like. layout business but whatever i did this in like 2 hours #the reason general is an empty title is cause obviously she was using him to like come back to life or whatever right #so the title general means nothing to her. she doesnt care about him #yeah #hes never had a real #identity?? title?? hes been operating under 'green ninja' and then under 'general' for who knows how long #and then both titles turned out to be useless #you get it #i came up with her design on the spot i dunno its supposed to be hair in the background #kinda mimicking her weird ass tentacles #when i say shitpost morrotober i mean SHITPOST #morro ninjago #morrotober 2024 #jellos scribbles #thatsall im doing

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lostsomewhereinthegarden · 5 months ago

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As a track athlete I just watched the Olympic Trials for track and field and….

WTF NOAH LYLES AKA THE FASTEST MAN IN THE WORLD AFTER USAIN BOLT LEFT THE SCENE IS PULLING OUT HOS FUCKING BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON AND SHOVING IT INTO THE FUCKING CAMERA!!!! YUGIOH WIN!!!! SETO KAIBA WOULD FEEL SOOOOOO MUCH PRIDE LIKE WTF???? HE SHOWED IT TO THE CAMERA BEFORE EVERY 100 METER RACE TOO I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HIM DO IT FOR THE 200 METERS!!

Its not even funny, I started ranting to my dad and the significance of the card and it’s importance to Yugioh, who owns it and what it means by Noah showing it.

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fishareglorious · 2 months ago

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i do a light chuckle once i remember hofmann and semmelweis are friends but then i remember semmelweis and marcus' suitcase interaction where they talk about her and i am once again inconsolable about this old woman's death