#this is surely gonna make the problem worse....

[nilla03]

𝑪𝒀𝑩𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑬𝑿 ✰ 𝑓𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 : 𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒖𝒑 𝒎𝒆𝒈𝒖𝒎𝒊

𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑠: 𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑠𝑒𝑥, 𝑙𝑎𝑝 𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔

𝑝𝑙𝑜𝑡: 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑦 𝑑𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑒𝑔𝑠 𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡

You had been good—for the first thirty minutes. Now, though, you were over it.

“Megs,” you whined, kicking your feet a little as you pouted at him from across the room. “This is taking too long.”

Megumi didn’t even glance at you, his dark hair hanging over his eyes as he sat with his arm stretched out, the artist carefully dragging the needle over his skin. His sleeve was nearly complete, intricate blackwork and delicate shading wrapping around his muscled forearm. His rings clinked against the chair’s armrest when his fingers flexed.

“Not my problem,” he muttered.

You huffed, crossing your arms under your chest to make sure he saw the way your tits pushed up in your tiny, low-cut top. “But I’m bored.”

“Then go home.”

You narrowed your eyes. Oh, he was being mean.

Pushing up from your chair, you strutted over to him, placing yourself right next to his seat. “No,” you said, pouting. “I wanna sit with you.”

His eyes finally flicked to you, heavy-lidded and sharp, the silver hoop in his lip catching in the light as he exhaled. “Sit over there.”

“I wanna sit here.” Before he could stop you, you climbed onto his lap, settling yourself right over the hard muscle of his thighs. He stiffened beneath you, but you just curled your arms around his neck, brushing your fingers over the piercings in his ear.

The tattoo artist gave a short laugh. “She always this needy?”

“Worse,” Megumi muttered, but his big hands found your waist, gripping you tightly. “You’re testing me,” he murmured low enough for only you to hear.

You smirked, shifting ever so slightly, feeling the bulge beneath his sweats press against your barely-covered core. His grip tightened.

“I just wanna be close,” you whispered, tilting your head as you trailed your fingers down the back of his neck. “That a problem?”

His jaw clenched, the muscle ticking. “You keep moving like that, and we’re gonna have a big problem.”

The second you shifted on his lap again—just a little grind, a little test—Megumi exhaled hard through his nose, his grip on your waist turning bruising.

“Yo,” he called to the artist, voice tight. “Gimme a break.”

The tattoo artist lifted a brow, setting the gun down. “Need a smoke or somethin’?”

“Yeah,” Megumi muttered, but his hands never left your body. The artist shrugged. “I’ll be outside. Ten minutes.”

The second the door clicked shut, Megumi’s fingers flexed, then tightened—before he was flipping you onto the chair so fast your breath hitched. You barely had time to squeak before his big hands were on your thighs, spreading you open, yanking your little skirt up so fast the fabric nearly tore.

“You just couldn’t fucking wait, could you?” His voice was low, dripping with irritation

You batted your lashes, feigning innocence, even as your cunt clenched around nothing. “I don’t know what you mean, Megs.”

His lips curled, amusement flashing for just a second before his ringed fingers hooked into your panties and ripped them clean down the middle.

“Megumi!” you gasped.

“Shut up,” he muttered, shoving them into his pocket like a fucking souvenir. Then he was undoing his sweats, pushing them down just enough to free his cock—thick, flushed, already leaking. He stroked it once, twice, and you whimpered, your hips lifting off the chair.

“Look at you,” he scoffed, dragging the tip through your slick folds. “All that whining, all that attitude—just to end up bent over looking like a slut for me”

Your face burned, but you still pouted. “Took too lonnng”

Before you could throw another bratty quip, he was sinking into you, stretching you open with one slow, brutal thrust. Your mouth dropped open in a silent moan, eyes rolling back as he bottomed out, your walls fluttering around his cock.

Megumi groaned, head tipping forward, lip piercing glinting under the harsh shop lights. “Fuck,” he muttered. “Always so fucking wet everytimee-.”

You whined, fingers scrambling to grip his tattooed forearms as he pulled out almost entirely before slamming back in, the chair creaking under the force.

“What happened to all that attitude?” he taunted, setting a ruthless pace. His hands dug into your hips, keeping you still while he fucked into you

You sobbed, legs wrapping around his waist as his cock dragged against that spot inside you over and over. “M-Megumi—”

He leaned in, lips brushing against your ear. “You wanted my attention, baby,” he murmured darkly, rolling his hips deep. “Now fucking take it.”

Your nails dug into his back, pleasure twisting tight in your gut. The sound of skin slapping against skin echoed through the shop, filthy and obscene, mixing with your breathy moans and Megumi’s ragged groans.

“Gonna come already?” he taunted, feeling the way your walls fluttered around him.

You gasped, nodding frantically, tears welling up. “Y-Yeah—”

“Too bad.” His fingers wrapped around your throat, just enough to make you whimper. “You wanna be a brat? You come when I say.”

A sob left your lips, legs shaking, body strung so tight you thought you’d snap.

Megumi smirked, cruel and satisfied. “Guess you should’ve behaved, huh?”

[wlwsoccerfics]

The ACL Chaos Continues(KerstinCasparijXRuthBrownXJillRoordXCasparijReader)

A/N: this Is Part two of 'The ACL Chaos Roommates' so read the first Part before this one.

Warnings: mental health issues, ACL injury, angsty

Summary: your healing Journey continues and so does the chaos.

Jill was off the crutches. So were you. It has been two months since surgery. But you still needed a cane sometimes to get around. And your pain was still a 6 sometimes even a 7 out of 10. But you kept pushing yourself even though you knew this was probably only gonna make things worse. Your fiancee, your twin and Ruth sure saw you struggling and they became quite worried with how you were handling things.

You were standing on the back porch, trying to walk without the cane while trying to get your leg to stay straight and it just wasn't working how you wanted it to work so you became more and more frustrated. Kerstin saw you from inside and walked out.

"y/n! Stop! What are you doing?! You are clearly exhausted! And overworking yourself doesn't gonna make this better!" Your twin sister told you. Her tone was a mix of worry and anger.

You looked at her before you started yelling and crying. Hugging her.

"i hate this! I know i said i would be patient but Physio said he isn't sure i will get back to my old self! What If i can't Play anymore?!" You cried into her shoulder while she wrapped her arms around you. Holding you close.

"it will be okay! Whatever happens you are smart, you will figure something out! And you are not alone, ever!" Your twin told you. You didn't see her face but you could hear in her voice that she was close to crying.

Unknown to both you and Kerstin, Jill & Ruth were watching you from the inside. Eyes filled with concern.

"this looks serious." Jill whispered out.

"i agree. whatever it is, we all have eachother! And we will support y/n! I just hope that Kerstin managed to get through to her. Because honestly your fiancee is not doing herself any favors like that! She is overworking herself constantly!" Ruth said.

"i noticed that as well, whenever i try to talk to her about it she keeps telling me how fine she is and that i imagine things!" Jill admitted.

Back to you and Kerstin...

"Luister alsjeblieft naar wat de dokter zei." (please listen to what the doctor said) Your sister spoke up.

"Ik probeer het. Maar dit is mijn leven." ( i am trying. but this is my life. ) You explained why it wasn't so easy to let things go and give them time. You were afraid your career might be over.

"Jezelf nog meer pijn doen, maakt het niet beter!" ( hurting yourself even more won't make things better! ) Kerstin answered.

You two talked for a little bit longer before walking inside. Both Jill & Ruth staring at you.

"Wat is er, lieverd?" ( what's wrong, darling? ) Jill asked.

"zag je mij een inzinking hebben?" ( you saw me having a breakdown? ) You asked your wife.

"we both did!" She told you and was referring to Ruth as well. You sighed softly taking a step towards hery grabbing her hand gently.

"let's sit down! I can't stand for that long without a cane." You admitted.

"which is Part of the Problem. Right?" Ruth asked. You nodded your head. All of you sat down on the Couch.

"Physio says he isn't sure i will be able to play like i used to before this injury. I am afraid my career might be over." You admitted, tears streaming down your face again. Ruth and Jill both felt like someone was punching the Air out of their lungs. They didn't expect this information to leave your mouth.

"liefje, it's still early on. Give it time! Even if you can't Play as strong as you do now, it doesn't mean you fully have to stop playing. Let's Focus on the healing process now. And worry later. I know things aren't going great for you but if they don't tell you that you can't Play anymore let's not go to career ending right now. Might take you longer to get back on the pitch, but you will get there!" Jill told you. Wrapping her arms around you. you cuddled into her side. It was clear to you, Ruth and Kerstin that the speech was not only for you but really to make sense of this for herself and well and build everyone back up.

"Jill is right, be patient with yourself! Be kind to yourself! You will get back onto the pitch. Even if you can just give 50% of how you played before this injury you still are world class! You are one of the best Players in the world, y/n! So don't give up on yourself! Cause the three of us sure won't ever give up on you!" Kerstin replied.

"we are here to support your healing Journey!" Ruth let you know. Offering you a kind smile. You thanked the three of them. Trying to stay focused on the good things. You knew they were right. You had to be more kind to yourself. And see what was about to come your way. Give yourself time. The Pitch will be there when you are ready.

You look at your fiancee ,a few minutes later you spoke up.

"i am thankful your journey is going better then mine Babe. I genuinely mean that. i hope you are right with what you say about my Journey but If you aren't...i know we talked about kids in the future...and i would be willing to carry one for us." You stated.

"that's sweet Babe! But let's wait okay? Focus on healing. You will get there!" Jill said.

Turned out that you indeed just needed more time but five months later you managed to do some running without pain, working on other skills as well. It was 7 months after you got hurt now. You weren't on the end of your healing journey but you were doing so great now and everyone was proud of you. Jill was doing even better , you were proud of her.

The two of you moved back into your place 3 months ago. Planning your Wedding, which was gonna be in exactly a year from now on. You had pushed it back cause of your Injury.

Even though your journey was difficult you appreciated everyone that was there for you and you liked being there for their journeys whatever those might be. You wanted to help people and not just receive help.

[crxzytogether]

Something that gives me a lot of confidence is how defensive milvens are. Like the way they talk, things they say, the way that more often than not it’s them coming over here to attack us, it really shows me how scared they are. They would not care as much if they truly thought there was 0 possibility of byler. Even the ones, especially the ones that say they believe that there’s no way byler could happen, there’s a small part of them that does believe it could happen. Because why else do you feel the need to broadcast your hate towards byler and tell us we’re stupid and delusional? Like that is not gonna affect us💀 grow up. And notice how hardcore jancy/stancy shippers don’t give ronance/steddie/stonathan shippers any shit for their ship? Yeah that’s because they know it won’t happen and it’s not hurting them that people like these pairings. The milvens on the other hand… Also idk about everyone else but my hatred for milven isn’t solely related to my want for byler to happen, like even if I didn’t ship byler I still wouldnt think milven would be endgame or a healthy relationship worth rooting for but yk for a lot of milvens their hate towards byler is almost entirely motivated by their want for milven. Like they have to tear down everything that we say to lift their ship up- idk but if your ship can’t stand for itself I’d be worried… but that’s just me

Like i don’t need to tear down milven to make a solid case for byler. I could but I don’t need to because the show supports byler. Meanwhile the show doesn’t support milven- not anymore… I’m not sure if it ever did, even in the beginning, while it was kinda cute but when you really think about it it was really weird😭 like el: fresh out of a lab and doesn’t even know how to know what she likes 🤝 mike: little kid with not the best rep for love and everyone expecting him to start something with el bc he took initiative to take care of her just like benny and just like hopper

anyways it kinda makes me laugh how defensive they get for their ship- like calm down- killing will isnt gonna solve any of mike and els problems(bc keep in mind all of their problems are between them) if anything it’ll make the problems worse bc will’s the one that spent the last season fixing their broken house

[redstonedust]

wait what did minecraft do to the sheep??? what did they change?

its just a snapshot change so it may be reverted but they followed up the biome dependent cow and pig changes with just. putting more dyed sheep in the wilderness? like so

which bothers me because a) come on man that feels low effort compared to the other mob updates b) makes the rare pink sheep feel less special and c) i feel like its just gonna make earlygame hell? please mojang my inventory is full enough i dont wanna be carrying around five variants of dyed wool while trying to make a bed,

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

I think qbad being on his own taking care of two little guys again after watching every person he thought he could trust (except tina and aypierre) hunt the caricatures of their children to the bloody, bloody end- i think it will make him worse

he’s being reminded of what he lost. what he thinks only he will protect

[puppppppppy]

i have to say its a strange experience taking classes on branding and marketing while being vehemently anticapitalist and scorning the economic system

[lloydfrontera]

Im so curious

What about BK Moon gives you so much beef with him like the misogyny I understand but you talk about him like there's more

it's all the untapped potential. that's all it is. bk moon can be such a good writer at times and there's some genuinely interesting and fascinating ideas in his work, but man do they get buried under some of the most bizarre and tedious plots he can come up with.

he comes up with some amazing dynamics, concepts and characters and then does shit with them. he writes incredibly passionate and heart-wrenching relationships between his male protagonists and then shoves them into the most boring and/or underdeveloped straight romances possible. he describes utterly horrifying scenarios (affectionate) with such vivid detail you can almost see them play out perfectly in your head and then goes on and on about very boring topics with too much detail that you can skip without losing anything for it.

his novels could be so good... if only they were good. there's something there but you have to grab a shovel and dig them up by yourself because he's not gonna help you do it.

he's a good writer! but he could so much better. and that's what makes it so infuriating! because i see the potential, i see the seeds being planted, i see what could've been... and i can't do anything about it but make silly little posts about it! i wanna be his editor and beta-reader soooo bad.

but to be clear i don't have,, real beef with the man. like. i don't know him. i just read what he writes and sometimes stalk his fb but that's it. my feelings about him are completely based on what his writing and his novels tell me and nothing more. and i do like his writing! i genuinely do enjoy his style and the way he writes! some times more than others but nonetheless!

and also sometimes i just like being dramatic. sometimes i'm mildly annoyed by one of his writing decision and i say i'll stab a man. doesn't mean i actually hate his guts or anything aksjhdka

i will even admit that maybe if his novels were better i wouldn't be so into them as i am. take orv for example. i love it, i definitely binge-read it, cried my heart out and it remains one of my favorite webnovels of all time. but i didn't dedicate two years of my life to talk about it, y'know? it's so good i don't really have anything to add to the conversation. unlike with tged and cpsm where i have entirely too much to say about them.

i guess i just... mourn the wasted potential of his writing. and like with a lot of other authors i can't help but be bitter about the hetero/amatonormativity that seeps into it. if he were just a little bit more open to write his protagonists as anything else than straight or at least stopped adding romance for romance sake, his novels would stand out from many others even with his rather run-of-the-mill plots.

also i'm salty that he keeps catering to whiny dudebros with such fragile egos they can't handle an emotional scene without calling it cringe. when he could be catering to me instead <3 i, unlike them, do appreciate how he writes incredibly deep and passionate friendships between men willing to risk the whole world for one another <33

tldr: he gives me brain worms. and i'm mad about it. he needs a better editor and it should be me.

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

if you're a Unasaka Misaki hater we can't ever be friends

[snekdood]

i need more friends that i can give the responsibility of perennial native plants and perhaps shrubs and trees to

[whyshedisappeared]

remember that time my contact got lost behind my eyelid during cruel summer and I thought I fixed it in the bathroom but then it popped out when I came back so I literally put it back in without a mirror with dirty (ish. I did wash them 2 minutes earlier in the bathroom) hands standing in my seat with @betterthanrevenge giving me her phone halfway through for me to use as a mirror

[hesgomorrah]

a knight to remember is probably the silliest episode of bonanza i've seen but it is also still about how adam's family and friends have put him on such a pedestal that they're blind to how tenuous his grip on his sanity is and that makes me :(

[fatelcved]

" i'm not totally mad at you. i'm just sad. you're all locked up in that little world of yours, and when i try knocking on the door, you just sort of look up for a second and go right back inside. " when i say i'm YELLING!! CRYING!! " stop punishing yourself for being someone with a heart. you cannot protect yourself from suffering. to live is to grieve. you are not protecting yourself by shutting yourself off from the world. you are limiting yourself. " CHIYO BABY I'M SICK!!! " and i understood that if i kept it all up... no one would love me. a dim light in the far distance? no. to love-- i had to be there. i had to be there to be loved. " HELP MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT!!!

[ourceliumnetwork]

because i'm feeling chatty today but i know my sentences won't make lots of sense i don't know that the medicine i'm taking for the fibromyalgia is the best fit for me actually. i'm kind of thinking maybe the mental side effects aren't worth the pain relief lol.

[lokh]

I think it’s muscle tension, for me, my blood pressure and rate is fine. I had it for i dunno, 3 months? It also felt like I couldnt breathe deep enough. And again another time for a couple of months, which felt even more muscular than the time b4, stabbing pain when I laid on that side for a month, that one started at a social event completely out of nowhere so couldn't have been pulled by anything other than internal tension. I think spending so long researching what it could be, and trying to Make it go away made it much worse because ofc…it was giving me anxiety which made it hurt which made me anxious. I can’t tell you what made it go away, I think seeing a doctor to be like. You’re fine. Was good. But after that trying to accept it and idk, telling my body to do it worst instead of trying to fight it and being scared of it getting worse. I still get it now but usually only for a few days. I also try to get my heart rate up once a day by like. Jumping or running etc. which kinda helps get rid of the anxiety that I feel like…builds up without my awareness.

hmmm interesting... im glad that its lessened for you at least!

[umilily]

(at the top of my lungs) I HATE UNIVERSITY

[inbabylontheywept]

bad dating stories time: the shoe incident

so in highschool, my best friend wasnt allowed to go on dates unless there was another couple there to keep an eye on him. part of this was his parents being insane, but also, part of it was him being insane. in a problem with no reasonable parties, there are no reasonable solutions.

at some point in my junior year, my sorta-gf broke up with me, and i just wasnt feeling dating, which was bad for my friend, because he had a good thing going with a girl he met in court.

he kind of hounded me about it. kept pushing me to just put me feet back in the dating pool and i wasnt real thrilled about it, because i knew he was pushing me for his own benefit, not mine, so i kept telling him to fuck off, and after a few weeks of being told that i would date when i was damn well ready, he eventually said: okay. what if i paid for the date AND found you a blind date AND all you had to do was show up?

and i shouldve said no, i know, but i let him wear me down, and i will own my fault in that. a date starting on such a stupid premise could never have gone well.

but he still managed to find a way to make it worse.

i dont know how long he tried to set a blind date up. it couldve been multiple attempts. he couldve stooped to this immediately. but what happened in the end was that he called a girl from the ward he attended - a girl that he knew had a giant, mushy crush on him - and he said: hey! how would you feel about going on a date this weekend?

(you know, implying it was with him, but never actually saying it.)

and she said YES WOW I WOULD LOVE TO and he said great! and then he called me up and said he found me a date.

i did not learn about his crimes until several weeks later. i will die swearing before god almighty that i would never have allowed this travesty to happen if i had known.

that was on a monday. the date of the date rolled around that friday evening, and im sorry to confess, i really phoned the whole thing in. i showed up in my favorite comfy outfit, which was also a fashion crime: basketball shorts and flipflops and a baja hoodie. it was super comfy but it made me look kind of crazy. i picked him up first, and then i picked up his date next, and then we went to pick up my date, and thats where you're gonna get the play by play.

i arrived, walked across the yard, and knocked on the front door. she opened it almost immediately, like shed been waiting right by it, and i could see her expression go from OMG IM SO EXCITED to super disappointed, then disgusted and finally pissed. and because i didn't know about my friends sins, i thought it was from my outfit. which seemed... harsh. like, hey, im allowed to be quirky, fuck you. also its a blind date, i thought the deal was that we were both going to be sad broken sacks of mortality.

anyway, we looked at each other for several seconds before she slammed the door in my face.

i looked back at my friend. he was sweating bullets. i dont know what he expected from this, but there was this big long pause where we both tried to figure out what to do, and then the door opened up, and her dad invited me in, and he said she was gonna need a few minutes to finish getting ready, and that in the meantime we could sit and talk.

we did not talk. we did sit. i sat down on the couch, and he sat down in a chair across the couch, and then instead of talking he cleaned his pistol on the coffee table. i wasnt actually sure if it was a threat, or if it was just a fidget thing for 40+ year old republican men, but when i tried to help he got snappy so i just watched him put a pistol back together.

he was okay at it.

eventually my date came downstairs, still mad as hell for reasons beyond my ken, and i felt pretty guilty for being such a mess because i thought that was why she was so angry. i tried to make up for by walking her to the car and getting the door for her, just generally trying to be extra polite, but before i could make it back to the drivers side, her dad called me back to the door. so i flipped around, went to the door, and immediately regreted my decision.

soon as i was within range, her dad got waaaay too close to me, leaned in, and said "whatever you do to her, i will do to you," and my brain went into overdrive making three consecutive realizations.

realization one was, damn, the pistol thing was a threat. that sucks. what an asshole. realization two was, wait, im autistic and even i know theres a 0% chance me and my date even hold hands, least of all boink. does this guy actually think there's even a 1% chance of anyone in that car getting laid tonight? is he an idiot? and then realization three went through, which was wait, is this guy threatening to fuck me? and unfortunately, with my brain doing so much processing, my mouth was left to run amok, so somewhere between realization 2 and 3, i said:

"i can't get pregnant"

which, i swear, wasn't actually me trying to be a smartass, it was just me pointing out that he couldn't actually follow up on that threat. it just wasn't possible. we do not live in the omegaverse and im not scared of you.

still, it was an insanely catastrophic thing to say, and the moment we both heard it, we bluescreened. that single sentence obliterated both of our momentary streams of consciousness like a saltine in front of a sand blaster. problem was, he'd probably gone his whole life not even realizing someone could say something that stupid, and making that realization was going to cost him a lot of thinking time. me though? i had been saying shit like that for 17 years, i didnt have to rewrite my expectations of human nature, i just had to plan an exit and start striding. so i was already halfway back to the car before i heard "hey. hey come back. Hey. Hey. HEY. HEY WAIT. HEY GET BACK HERE. HEY-"

and then i was in my car, and i drove away.

if this happened today, he'd have called her, and the whole thing wouldve imploded then and there, but back then, there were still a decent number of teenagers without cell phones. especially the teenagers of insane, gun toting parents. so she just said: whoa what was that all about? and i said: dont worry about it, he'll tell you about it when you get home.

and she said: ok and went back to staring daggers at me and my friend.

WHICH SURPRISINGLY isnt even how the story ends.

we went to an improv comedy show, and it was a disaster. it shouldve been like, 7/10 tops, but between my date being mad, and my friend having a good time, and me having the existential terror of knowing that a guy with a pistol was probably waiting outside his house for me to come back, it was easily 11/10. i laughed way too hard at everything. especially the jokes that flopped. id sit there in this mostly silent room and laugh until i dry heaved a little, and my date was absolutely disgusted, and even my friend was a little embarrassed, which would just make me laugh harder. i laughed so hard that night i could barely talk the next day. and then the show ended, and my friend said, you know, that was a good time, but i think we should maybe do something a little chiller? who wants to walk around the park? and his date said yeah, and my date said no, and i finally had mercy on the poor woman so i said, look, im gonna drop you off. and i am so, so sorry about this, but im dropping you off like a block away. super duper sorry.

do talk to your dad about the pistols thing if you dont want this happening more in the future tho.

and she said: okay. so i dropped her off, and she walked a block down, and that was that.

then i drove my friend and his date to a park that was good for wandering. i figured they wanted something more private, so instead of following them around point blank, i chose a park with this 30 foot rope tower, and i climbed to the top and i said: hey i can see you anywhere from up here, you are officially chaperoned from a distance. get panopticoned idiot. except my friend really is an idiot, and he didnt really get the whole 'now i dont have to third wheel so insanely hard with you guys' thing so he climbed up the tower too, and then his date followed behind him, so there are three people basically sitting together on top of a telephone pole.

and then they started making out.

i was close enough to hear it.

i didnt really know what to do so i was just kind of sitting there, dissociating, when some college kids came around and started shaking the tower. my friend's date went aaaaaaaaaa im afraid of heights :( and my friend went oh, dont worry, ill hold you tight ;) and i went hey, im gonna climb down and ask them to stop.

so i did climb down, and i did ask them to stop, and they flipped me off, which i wasnt even mad about. at that point i was i was like yeah, it would be weirder if this wasnt a mess. gods plan has been to fly this day like a 747 into my metaphorical twin towers and brother he is close enough for me to see him grinning through the cockpit window. still, eventually the college students got bored, so they climbed up the tower, which gave my friend and his date a window to climb down, and together we walked back to my car.

now, i cant explain why this is, but sitting back in the drivers seat was my carriage-back-into-a-pumpkin moment. i'd been chill about all the chaos, just rolling with the punches, but sitting down made me realize how much of a shitshow the day had been, and while i couldnt go back and fix all of it, i could go back and fix one thing.

so i told my friend and his date, hey, you two, stay here and don't do anything weird. don't. then i walked back to the rope tower, and i started picking up the shoes the college students had left at the base in order to climb.

about halfway through this, i realized that if i took all their shoes, they might think i was in it for the money, and i actually wanted them to know i was in it specifically to spite them. fuck those guys. so i put all the right shoes back, gave myself a 100 foot headstart, yelled "nice shoes, assholes", did a little jig, and started running.

my advice to everyone is that college students are faster than you think. even with the headstart, and the whole climb down the tower thing, i was still only fivish seconds ahead of them by the time i got to my car. i flung the door open, looked in the backseat, didnt see anyone, flung the stolen shoes in the backseat, heard two "ow"s, took that as proof of presence, jumped in and pealed out of the lot.

my friend and his date popped up a few seconds later. they were, uh, doing something weird in the back seat. my one request - obliterated.

they climbed up to ask where the hell all the shoes had come from, and i was like yeah i stole them from the college students, and they were like oh. cool. hope you had fun. and i was like, i did. i did. but speaking of fun, what were you doing back there?

and for the first time in my buddies life, i think he was actually embarassed.