#this is super old but he is my everything so i had to post
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Hello hello, hope you're having a good day :DD
i wanted to know more about your OCs, more specifically, what Nyoka and Emilio were doing in Book 2 and Book 4?
Was Nyoka against Leona whole plan or didn't care? Was Emilio aware of Jamil's plans?
(thank u 🥺)
BOOK 2 NYOKA: Nyoka did not care (…p-positive). Leona just respects Nyoka’s space and vice versa, so whatever brouhaha Leona cooks up for #reasons, that’s none of Nyoka’s business as far as he’s concerned, but it was probably utterly brilliantly executed 👍 as expected from a Housewarden who truly embodies the spirit of the King of Beasts. Nyoka is more of a benchwarmer for Spelldrive anyway.
…Also he believes Leona can do no wrong ever—
BOOK 4 EMILIO: WELL… refer to this post about his signature spell/unique magic first AND SINCE I CANT HYPERLINK FOR SOME REASON IT HAS TO GO RIGHT HERE all ugly:
On a random day, Kalim thought it would be quirky to ask Emilio if his upcoming winter break would be extra fun this year. Breaking the “1 question 1 answer, and no more” rule towards asking about his future. And for something SO inconsequential and innocuous? How absurd and wasteful. But, anything for the beloved housewarden (<- sarcastic, Emilio does not care for Kalim that much, but he greatly prefers being in his favor for vanity reasons). Kalim isn’t really too concerned about the future anyway, so this was just a fun thing to try out and super cool and based and etc.
Emilio saw one vague possible future where Kalim is acting out and winter break is rather chaotic as a result. Anything regarding the future with Emilio will only net him potential outcomes, but any one of them will happen. So no, no fun to be had, just turmoil. (Note, since folk will misinterpret: He does not see the definitive events of Book 4 itself. Just that Kalim will not “have fun” and that the turmoil involves him.)
Kalim finds the answer a bit unsettling but laughs it off ultimately. Good thing the future is never set in stone. He’ll just make sure to have a lot of fun anyway!
And Emilio, being a freaking fleeing coward, used that smidgeon of knowledge he learned + Kalim’s “flip flopping” behavior lately to determine that something bad was potentially about to occur to basically get permission to dip from school not long before winter break even started. He went to the Headmage and lied about having a “dire family emergency” and that he just HAD to leave. Even used crocodile tears, a sob story and everything being the great actor he is (and Crowley orobably just relenting because bro was annoying and he’s just so kind and magnanimous).
So the bastard wasn’t even there for the events of Book 4 at all. 💀 He was just chilling at home. (and doing absentee assignments.)
So, did Emilio know about Jamil’s plans? No. I’ll give it a no for specifics as he didn’t know it was Jamil behind Kalim’s behavior and was hypnotizing him. Just that things were not gonna be great during the break and he didn’t want to be there for whatever it was.
I’m too fatigued to draw a doodle for this portion. So it’s only wall of text and I can only hope my point was made. 😔 This is a REALLY OLD concept, tbh. And I’m not personally sure if I even jive with the outline. It’s less complicated than it looks written out. But it is very Estéban Elena of Avalor coded to be an asshole and abandon people to save his own skin so maybe I’m just being picky.
So you can only imagine bro coming back to Scarabia only to find everyone and their mom hates Jamil. (Dw Kalim fills him in later when he stages that dorm meeting we see a glimpse of in Book 5)
#cozy ask#twstposting#im kinda embarassed about the latter. but maybe thats the low self esteem talking.#i forgot to tag somwone but editing the post fucks it up#twst oc
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between us
Lando Norris x Amelie Dayman
Summary: Amid the backdrop of Barcelona's F1 testing, Lando finds himself distracted by thoughts of Amelie, whose recent Instagram post stirs both admiration and nostalgia. A teasing but insightful Carlos pushes Lando to confront the depth of his feelings, ultimately leading to a heartfelt confession about their relationship.
Wordcount: 1.6 k
Warnings: just fluff
request over here!
February 11th, 2024 - Barcelona, Spain
Lando Norris sat on the edge of his hotel bed in Barcelona, the crisp winter air blowing in from the slightly cracked window. His phone was clutched in his hand, the glow from the screen illuminating his face as he scrolled through Instagram. F1 testing was in full swing, and the pressure of the season loomed, but his mind kept wandering back to a different kind of distraction.
He paused when he saw the notification: Amelie Dayman posted a story.
He didn't even think twice before tapping it open. The screen was filled with a glamorous shot of Amelie, dressed in a bold black outfit, sitting with Taylor Swift in a luxury suite at the Super Bowl in Nevada. The camera angle hinted at the stadium below, but it was the smile on Amelie's face that caught Lando’s attention. Her eyes sparkled, that confident, radiant grin that always had a way of drawing him in.
She looks incredible, Lando thought, a smile tugging at his lips as he replayed the video.
He was so absorbed in her story that he didn't even hear the soft knock at the door.
—Lando, you in there?— Carlos Sainz’s voice cut through the silence.
—Yeah, come in,— Lando replied, quickly swiping away the Instagram app and setting the phone down on the bed, hoping Carlos hadn't caught a glimpse of what he was doing.
Carlos walked in with a grin that immediately made Lando nervous.
—You know, it’s a little early in the morning to be watching that story, mate,— Carlos said, raising an eyebrow, his gaze flicking to the phone.
Lando’s face flushed, but he quickly recovered. —What do you mean? I wasn’t... I wasn’t watching anything. I just... I was... checking my notifications.—
—Right, of course,— Carlos said, his grin widening. —Just like last time when you were “checking notifications” during the race weekend in Mexico City, huh?—
Lando's heart skipped a beat. He had hoped Carlos wouldn’t bring that up. After all, that weekend had been a turning point.
Carlos flopped down on the chair beside Lando’s bed, his gaze never leaving the British driver. —I saw the way you two were acting back then, mate. You’ve been pretty cozy lately. I’m just saying, if you’re getting back to your old habits...—
Lando shot him a look, but Carlos wasn’t letting it go. —You do know people still think you two would make a perfect couple, right? Fans, I mean. Even after all the... history.—
Lando rolled his eyes, trying to act cool, but it was hard with Carlos pushing all his buttons. —What’s your point, Carlos? Am I not allowed to have friends?—
Carlos leaned forward, his voice dropping to a more teasing tone. —I’m not blind, mate. You’re not just friends with Amelie. You’re... way more than that, aren’t you? Just admit it.—
Lando sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. The last thing he needed was Carlos playing matchmaker. He had already dealt with that enough during their time as teammates. But this time, it felt different. This time, it was serious.
Carlos didn’t let up. —Come on, Lando, it’s obvious. You two are practically inseparable. I’ve never seen you act this way with anyone else. And you’ve always had that... thing for her, right? From way back when you first met her. Back in 2019? You’d never shut up about her. So, what’s going on now?—
Lando was quiet for a moment, weighing his options. He could deny it, pretend everything was just as it seemed to the outside world. Or he could admit the truth. But saying the words out loud was a different challenge.
Finally, Lando let out a breath, looking at Carlos with a mix of exhaustion and relief. —I’m... I’m dating her, Carlos.—
Carlos blinked, his expression shifting from playful teasing to genuine surprise. —Wait. What? You’re actually dating her?—
Lando nodded, his gaze dropping to the floor for a moment. —Yeah. We’ve been seeing each other seriously since last November. It’s... it’s different this time.—
Carlos leaned back in his chair, absorbing Lando's words with a raised eyebrow, clearly processing the confession. He let out a low whistle, then a chuckle.
—Well, well, well. Look at you, finally making it official. I thought I was going to have to keep hearing you whine about her forever, mate,— Carlos teased, his grin widening. —But you know I’m not gonna let you get away that easy, right? You’re dating her, and you still haven’t told me the most important part. What about the other guys? What about Checo?—
Lando’s stomach tightened at the mention of Checo. He had known this would come up eventually, but he wasn’t ready to hear it.
—Don’t— Lando started, his voice sharper than usual. —I don’t want Checo to know. Not yet. Promise me, Carlos. Promise you won’t say anything. Especially to Checo. He can’t know yet.—
Carlos paused, studying Lando’s face for a moment. Then he nodded slowly, the playful gleam still in his eyes. —Alright, alright, I won’t say anything. But you know Checo is going to flip when he finds out, right? I mean, it’s not like you two have ever been shy about your... chemistry.—
Lando’s expression darkened, his fingers tapping nervously on the bedspread. —It’s not that. It’s just… I don’t know how to explain it, Carlos. Things are… complicated. We were friends first, and I don’t want to mess that up again. And if Checo knows… it’s going to be a mess.—
Carlos laughed, shaking his head. —You’ve got a death wish then, Lando. Checo is gonna kill you, mate. He’s got a temper. Especially when it comes to her—
Lando groaned, running a hand through his hair. —I don’t want to be in the middle of that. I’m not ready for the whole family to know. It’s not just about Stella and Checo, though. Amelie... she’s still figuring this out too. We’re not ready to make it public.—
Carlos, still smirking, leaned forward. —So, this is a "secret" thing? What, you two are still pretending to be just friends to everyone else?—
Lando nodded, his eyes darting to his phone as he unconsciously grabbed it, tapping the screen to see if Amelie had messaged him yet. He couldn’t help it; it had become second nature. —Yeah. I mean, we’ve been good about keeping it low-key. People think we’re just close friends, which... honestly, isn’t wrong. We were friends first, before all this, and I think that’s what makes it work now. It’s... easier that way, you know? But that doesn’t mean it’s any less real.—
Carlos leaned back, tapping his fingers on the armrest, clearly amused. —I think you’re the one who’s overthinking this, mate. It’s obvious to everyone around you that you two are into each other. Hell, the fans think you’re already together anyway. They’ve been shipping you two for years. I guess they’re right, huh?—
Lando’s lips twitched into a small smile, even as his heart raced slightly. He couldn’t help but feel a sense of warmth at the thought of how everyone else saw them—how their relationship seemed so natural to others, even when it still felt new to him.
—Maybe,— Lando said quietly, looking at Carlos. —But it’s still... complicated. I just want to get it right this time, you know? I don’t want to mess things up again. She’s... she’s too important to me for that.—
Carlos’s expression softened slightly, a rare moment of seriousness overtaking his usual teasing. —You’re a good guy, Lando. You’ve always been there for her. But if you hurt her again...— He trailed off, a knowing look passing between them. —She’ll never let you live it down.—
Lando’s jaw tightened, a flash of guilt hitting him. He didn’t need Carlos to remind him of the past—the history between him and Amelie wasn’t something he liked to dwell on, but it was always there.
—Don’t worry, I’m not messing this up again,— Lando replied, his voice low but firm. —This time, I’m doing it right.—
Carlos raised his hands in mock surrender. —Alright, alright. No need to get all serious on me. Just remember what I said. Checo is gonna find out eventually, and when he does... I want a front-row seat to that show.—
Lando rolled his eyes. —You’re such a shithead.—
Carlos grinned. —You love it, Norris. Now, go ahead and text her. I’m sure she’s been waiting for you to stop obsessing over her Instagram feed and start thinking about something else for a change.—
Lando shot him a playful glare, but Carlos’s teasing had hit its mark. He grabbed his phone, quickly opening the messages to find the thread with Amelie.
Lan🧡: How's the Super Bowl?
Ames💛: Tiring, but fun. I miss you, though. Can’t wait to see you soon.
Lando couldn’t help the grin spreading across his face as he read Amelie’s message. The words were simple, but they carried a warmth that made his chest tighten in the best way. Before he could reply, Carlos’s voice interrupted his thoughts again.
—Is that her?— Carlos leaned over, trying to catch a glimpse of Lando’s screen.
—Mate, seriously?— Lando laughed, pulling his phone away. —Can you not?—
Carlos smirked, leaning back in the chair. —Just making sure you’re not getting too soft on me, Norris. Don’t let her distract you too much, though. Testing’s in a few hours, and if I catch you staring at her photos in the paddock, I’m telling everyone.—
Lando shook his head, still grinning. —You’re insufferable.—
—And you’re whipped,— Carlos shot back, standing up and stretching. —But I get it. She’s... she’s special, mate. Just... be careful, alright? And remember, I’m here if you need someone to laugh at you when Checo finds out.—
—Helpful as always,— Lando muttered, watching as Carlos made his way to the door.
—Oh, one more thing,— Carlos said, turning back with a devilish grin. —If you’re really serious about this, maybe think about not getting caught scrolling through her Instagram during the drivers’ briefing. Just a thought.—
Lando picked up a pillow and threw it at him, but Carlos dodged it effortlessly, laughing as he closed the door behind him.
Alone again, Lando let out a deep breath, the grin still lingering on his face. He looked back down at his phone, typing out a quick reply to Amelie.
Lan🧡: Miss you too. Can’t wait for Melbourne. Save me a spot in the crowd, yeah?
Her response came almost instantly.
Ames💛: Front row, obviously. Just for you.
Lando smiled to himself, the stress of the upcoming season momentarily forgotten. Whatever challenges lay ahead, he knew one thing for sure—this time, he wasn’t letting her go.
#f1 fluff#lando norris#lando norris fluff#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#lando norris fanfic#lando x reader#f1#formula 1#f1 smau#lando x singer!#lando x you#lando x y/n#lando norris x singer!#lando imagine#lando fanfic#lando#formula 1 fanfic#fanfic#formula one#lando norris x you#lando norris x reader#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x oc#barcelona#superbowl#sabrina carpenter#super bowl#carlos sainz
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medic tf2 doodles?!?!?? in this economy!???!?!? (art from yesterday)
most gentle and sweet middle aged german man in the whole entire world smile vs planning to swap all of your organs with a series of interconnected frogs smile
a doodle i did of Medic and Archimedes.... he looks too round in this drawing, not smug and evil enough..... also Mitzi from the RAE appearance :D
i LOVE the voicelines Medic has with Haunted Archimedes, he's not disturbed or even slightly put off by the fact that his zombified dove is 1. talking and 2. has a violent and constant craving for brains. he's just like. being a slightly irritated pet owner about it. he's just like "ugh yes archimedes vants all zhe brains doesn't he. now shut up". also i think this is the most on-model medic drawing i've ever done wtf
#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 medic#medic tf2#archimedes tf2#mitzi mozzarella#doodles#sketches#sketch#also um. please no thirst comments in the tags. /srs#i feel incredibly uncomfortable with comments like that and i don't want those things being said about my art#and i feel like it might happen here so like. please don't do that thanks 👍#man i love drawing medic. he's actually so fun to draw and i love giving him the most insane expressions ever#he has so many sharp angles it's so fun!!!#i also really like the second opinion voice lines. he's not even frightened. he just has an annoying roommate sewn to his face#aahh this is why i love medic#i have a cold right now so i can't think of any other tags to put on this post........#might post some more barry stuff later. i drew a pretty cursed one yesterday heehoo#i want to post some of my really old tf2 art from like 2018#and maybe some SUPER old tf2 stuff from a decade ago if i can find the notebook i drew it in#back when i used to draw everything with a pen and no guidelines 💀#i'm pretty sure i still have it! it's not something i would throw away at all#it's probably hidden deep in my closet with my other old art stuff#i'd like to share my super old unhinged comics with a bunch of characters from various properties some day#i remember making a comic where all my favourite tf2 and mlp characters teamed up to stop peg from peg + cat from taking over the world#because i really didn't like the show as a kid. i thought peg's voice was annoying and it was a show about math. and i hate math#it's not even a bad show... it's really cute actually..... why did i hate it so much#i was peg + cat's biggest hater. if p+c had a million haters i was one of them. if it had 1 hater that was me. if it had 0 then i grew up#anyway. ignore all those tags i went on a ramble loolll#i forgot this post is about my medic drawings... yeah i really like these drawings and i love drawing medic <3
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as much as this past toronto trip was incredible and i'm so grateful to have experienced it i'm also probably gonna need like at least a week to fully recover from it bc jfc. like last trip resulted in a dopamine-crash that made me spend most of my free time taking naps and even tho that trip was amazing it doesn't even come close to the incredible high points this KITH-weekend had. plus this time i had to come back to a major holiday the day after i got back to the US and i was unable to find time to take my antidepressant today bc i didn't have time to unpack
which like fine i'm gonna let myself rest before i make myself write an in-depth recap. but also pairing this exhaustion with the extreme ambition this weekend instilled in me (seriously, nothing makes you feel like your comedy can change the world more than getting high while watching the SNL movie with scott thompson and having him hype up every weird aspiration you vocalize lmao) means there's so much i wanna do right away but my brain just can't yet. so that's where i'm at!!
#also i think i'm at a point in exhaustion where everything i write is like 5 times longer than it needs to be#i was about to vent to a mutual about one of the 2 low points of this past weekend#(neither caused by any KITH member dw both were just other friends being rude without thinking in a way that made me insecure)#but i realized just the setup for the vent was longer than any reasonable person would text so i'm gonna sleep it off for now lmao#even this post itself. i know it could be like 4 sentences but my brain cannot comprehend how to do that rn lmao#anyway yeah watching the snl movie with scott was the best. like idk how to objectively judge that movie's quality bc the experience#was so tied to just talking over it with scott the entire time. and that one wild moment where i was like#''holy shit did i just accidentally convince scott i'm the future of comedy?? i'm just a stoned 22-year-old saying shit''#fun fact i was actually super close to having scott join my family for american thanksgiving this year lmao#(actually idk if he was considering it but paul was 100% he would say yes and there was no reason not to lmao)#i did ask. he said no (but probably bc of travel times bc we were leaving at 8am and him doing a show on friday which i hope goes well)#and ngl with how exhausted i am i'm kind of glad i got the small amount of rest i had today#which i know i would not have let myself get if scott was here bc i'd want to be hanging out all the time lmao#BUT the fact that my parents went from joking about scott being at thanksgiving to genuinely asking him while in toronto#means that there's a high likelihood i could invite both paul AND scott to our american thanksgiving next year#especially if i invite them in advance rather than like the day before lmao#which like. can we just appreciate how fucking wild that is that it's even a possibility#anyway my grandma did tell me at dinner that she's gonna work on a quilt for paul bellini to support his recovery#and she's also gonna make one for scott bc she doesn't want him to feel left out lmao#so come on my honorary-uncles are already being considered part of the family even if they're not at thanksgiving dinner#hopefully i'll be living in canada by this time next year so who knows i might experience TWO thanksgivings lmao#i hope you enjoyed this very rambly post i need to get my brain working again otherwise every text is gonna end up like this
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walenty attack BOO!!!
#been thinking about it recently and he's totally super into fighting and rhythm games#those doodles with him and wanda are based on a playthrough with igamer so it might not be completely in character but it was funny#<i was sooooo scared#art#dst oc#body horror#there are also a few doodles with songs from his playlist#one is ermm. lavender town jazz cover and the other is#never thought i'd get to meet the devil. yay#some of these are recent and some are like. a few months old#anyways i love walenty soooo much kit is everything to meee<3333#if i posted any on these before my apologies. i forgor#OH AND ONE OTHER SONG. baby shoes by bad books#anyways. walenty canonically had his transsexual awakening because of gg. specifically testament and like. venom and probably ky but#only in xrd. yipiee
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time a flat circle why the hell am i usin the same loafers i bought for one cosplay of my fave antagonist for another fave antagonist
#snap chats#can i even call it cosplay. why are police sirens going off in the bg oh my god shut UP#anyway yeah ill elaborate. Super Snap Stalkers will remember my p4 era and will remember the time i did in fact do an adachi cosplay#i deleted the og post like an hour later. plus that blog's gone. but im sure some freak can find it if they dig hard enough#ew i think i was 17/18 in that pic (not at all that long ago) ok anyway.#i use the same loafers for my aoki outfit. and yeah i do Regularly wear my rgg outfits i TOLD YOU its functional cosplay i QUIT#just funny that like.... damn everything always goes back to square one LOL#these busted ass old ass loafers still rockin with me years later#if im feeling cheeky i think i will post all my rgg outfits actually. for halloween#hang on gotta be depressed and cringe for a moment#cause ive always liked cosplay but whenever i did it it never felt. Good Looking#like i always just felt like my face never worked for the charas i wanted to portray and so thats why i say with a heavy heart#that aoki's round-ass square-ass head is perfect LOL it makes me wanna throw up looking in the mirror#i got the same weird lips. ok not that squished Similar but Its Awful that he makes me feel comfortable with my face now#at least my eyebags arent double deckered... i at least look like i get sleep.. some days.#breaking !!!! objectively one of the most vile bitches in this franchise makes you feel comfortable with your body and existence#NAW to continue from last post if i had a webcam i prob coulda done a cosplay y7 stream LOL thatd be funny#anyway since this tag ramble is just pure cringe let me round it off with a final bit of cringe#the Forbidden Mention of my trans masato hc cause one reason why i have a Teehee over the thought is how raspy his voice is#and i only really now realized how right i was tonight because my prof called on me to speak and when i tried speaking DAWG.#the forbidden acknowledgement of Myself GROSS#BUT DAWG MY THROAT WAS FUCKIN CRUSTY it felt like sandpaper EW?? WATER FOR YOU?? christ. i hope that was just a one-time thing#ok im leaving now BYE
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little brothers and their will to #slay, man </3
#while yes yes this post technically does apply to the simp bros i wanna cry about my own bro in the tags so you have been warned~?#so to start off my monthly existential crisis rant i just wanna say that… i’m so so soo envious of my bro. like to a really unhealthy extent#he’s tall enough to reach the top shelves. i can barely touch them if i jump. he has so many friends and even a gf. i have 0 irl friends.#he is able to sit in one spot and focus on his studies. i can’t even sit down for a full half hour to *eat* without getting up to take a nap#he’s learning how to drive. i can’t. he was admitted into university. i wasn’t. he’s able to find what he likes and stick to it. i can’t.#like mannn. he thrived in the course he chose in tertiary education while i lost my passion for it in the middle of my first year.#he’s good at picking up everything he tries (puzzle cubes; bball; you name it he’s good at it) while i’m just. bad at everything i try lol#he’s very good at his studies (aside from languages) and sports. i’m not good at anything at all.#he gets told that he has a great sense of humour. i’m just. boring and annoying. lolllll#he’s super sociable and he has good relations with pretty much every single family member (sans me). i’m not in contsct with most of the fam#heck he was pretty much the favourite from the moment he was born. his baby pics still get brought up from time to time bc of how cute he is#(granted it’s bc he looks like a bby m*ch*l*n man (like the tire company mascot) and he’s super cute in them but still)#and he’s also a guy and content with being a guy which is just… not fair y’knowwww~~~ asian family boy biases and all (cries)#our father pretty much cast me aside once my bro was old enough to hang with him. and even before then the bias was as clear as day. >:(((((#i make the dude mad? i get screamed at and whaccced. bro gets the dude mad? he gets a lesson on how to throw punches instead!!! like wow!!!!#he’s the only one who got to escape any direct physical harm from the guy and yet!!!! he was the 1st one to be singled out for trauma focus#idk if it’s bc of his age back then or whattttt but i can’t believe i had to friggin’ ask my therapist back then for a trauma assessment :(#2015 was a different time… my bro managed to succeed in school while i was rejected from the drama club for being too depressed :((((#but i’m sure my bro has his own share of struggles… and i’m glad that he has a few groups of friends to chill with. really.#but i just can’t help feeling extremely envious of him. i could never tell him any of this though we hardly talk at home lol#and he pretends not to know me when i approach him in public lmfaoooo. i don’t blame him though; i’d do the same if i were to approach me#so yeah. if you read this i’m sorry for being cringefail and bad at everything~~ am i still allowed to pollute your dash~? <3#and also. idk if i’ll be able to continue sischange over this week bc i’ll be handling 2 workstations by meself :( and idk how tired i’ll be#but we’ll see ok~? sorry for having zero time management skills am i still qualified to be a legit adult~?#sunday’s 🧂saltfest🧂
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i feel such an incredibly frustriating yearn
#when i went to ecuador everyone was so warm#like strangers to you probably not since its dangerous and crime rates and stuff but the general love and care dynamics are so different#like im super anxious and closed up and im not very touchy nor do i say a lot but it wasnt ALWAYS like this and i thought oh maybe i just#grew up but also maybe i just moved to canada#like yeah canadians are super nice but friendships are so strict and dynamics are so like. idk its different#I mean there's obviously the fact that i havent' met a lot of people and that i am closed off and stuff but at least in my old school in#Ecuador friendships are the same and theres boy/girl friendships and its not romantic and hugs are normal and#ive messed up so many guy friendships because of that like im “oh my god yes new guy friend unlocked” and sudenly ive been sending them#mixed signals all along even tho im like yeah we chillin and ahhhhh#like#if i got shit wasted drunk here id probably get filmed and posted on the gc#but in ecuador i did get terribly drunk and i was with a friend (guy) and it was a pool party#this party i did not KNOW it was a pool party so i got thrown in with jeans and all but i got super drunk and everyone was kinda drunk and#there was a point in which he like sat me down and kept giving me water and like its just that care that#ah in canada it could never#at least not at this age i dont think#not at my school at least lmao#like in everything theres no judgement and theres a general friendship thats really good#god i miss it#but i never really had it#yk#like im gonna talk a little more abt this party k#it was the whole graduating year bc we're seniors and they all knew each other#nobody knew we were getting in the pool but by the time i got there EVERYOEN was in#like in jeans and school uniform and all#and people were like DRAGGING YOU#like it was all laughs and skjfhjkdhjjhkdhjkdfsjkhdsjhkdsfkjdfjkhdfs#like physically throwing you in the pool#obv no harm bc it wasnt deep but like everyone was just#like bridal style and wrestling and there were drinks and music
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The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.
I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.
And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!
We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.
There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.
Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.
Except...
I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.
I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.
The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.
Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".
There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.
And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.
His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.
I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.
That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.
I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.
Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.
Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.
If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.
It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.
I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.
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i ran out of tags kms why doesnt tumblr tell me when i run out of tags. continuing..
#so basically. after coyotespeck agrees to be deputy halfmoon was like erm waht the spruce. kind of butthurt even tho hes coyotespecks bestie#and theyre also flirtyvibes tbh.. but halfmoon is 1 clanborn 2 he was reeeeeally good like a great warrior he got his warriorname like a#while b4 his littermates. hes also likee 2 ish years OLDER than coyotespeck so hes like idkk.. and coyotespeck has only been there 6 months#so hes sort of cranky with it. but erm... Coyotespeck wasnt deputy 4 super long loll bc burntstar doid 💀 got hit by a monster while they#were trying 2 find a new camp. SAD!! but coyotestar makes halfmoon his deputy aww aww.. and then like its another moon b4 they finally find#a safe place 2 settle down and its an abandoned animal burrow in a big open meadow awww awwwww... n theyre like#EMERGENCY MEETING!! in the leaders den. not rly emergency theyre just like planning 4 setting up camp n everything ykk. and coyotestar#is sort of quiet for a seconf and then is like halfmoon. i appreciate you sm fr... i wouldnt be here without you.. yr the only one whos bee#on my side the entire time ive been here etcetc... and halfmoon is like blushed ermm r we abt to kiss. and love confessions basiclaly and#now theyre mates :] and they raised podkit and serpentkit together aww.. into podtail and serpentpetal :]] yayy.#except they arent mates anymore bc halfmoon juszt died and im soo sad abt it.. like he was old he was 129 moons etc. and like#theyve raised. so they raised podtail and serpentpetal and then they had a biological litter wisteriashadow rainbowpaw and flutterfleck..aw#rainbowpaw died tho sad. and then they also have 2 other kits they adopted bc their mom was a lightclan cat and was like do u want my kits#and they were like ermmm sure ! and thats goldpaw and sproutpaw.#like they even have grandkits... so its not like a Wasted life but im still SAD!!!#so yes basically. now i make a new post 2 talk abt robinfreckle and shadefall..
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reborn
1.4k / pairing: jackson!joel miller x f!reader
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summary: Joel’s long hair is a testament to a long life in Jackson, Wyoming. He hasn’t had time to get it cut since the birth of his daughter.
warnings/information: joel’s long hair appreciation post!!!!!, fluff, established relationship, a little swearing, soft!joel, girl dad!joel, jackson!joel, mother f!reader, ellie and joel are just fine okay!!, obvious maria appreciation, reader doesn’t have a physical appearance but has given birth
A/N: this is super short and I wrote it in 24 hours - you all know why we’re here, we saw that new picture of long haired joel miller and yadayadayada now we’re here! graphics by @saradika-graphics
There’s a new baby in Jackson.
One more teeny tiny resident. The population sign must be repainted to acknowledge its three hundred and fifth resident.
And she’s your little girl.
She’s not just perfect, she’s the center of your universe. Wrapped in a freshly hand-washed baby pink blanket, a testament to the hours of labor in Jackson’s makeshift delivery room. Joel held your hand throughout.
This was his second child, but his first with you. The flood of emotions was overwhelming, and you promised to stand by him, even if you could never truly understand the pain tangled with newfound joy.
But you should have seen the way his eyes softened at the first sight of her. Everything changed, for the both of you. His once-buried fatherly instincts took over, walking with the delivery nurse from your bed to the small cleaning station. He couldn’t let her out of his sight.
Already so protective and wound around her little finger from the moment she took her first breath and wailed her first cry.
Scream it, little one, tell the world you’re here and that you’re ours. You are already so loved with your big glowing eyes and round cheeks, your small hands curled into your chest, and you kick your tiny little feet. Stomp, roar, live.
You’re born into the most dangerous time in history, but your parents are here to protect you. The moment your baby girl was born, you and Joel were reborn.
One month old, and nothing has changed. Except for your and Joel’s sleep schedules. Tommy gave Joel temporary leave from patrol duties, which Joel did not protest. He found it impossible some days to leave the house for food and supplies.
Ellie was helpful. Despite no blood relation, she and Joel shared many qualities. She didn’t let you lift a finger if she could help it. She had moved into the garage a few months back. After all, she was a teenager who loved having space.
“You sure you don’t just wanna move back inside the house, Ellie?” She was here more often than not, and her company and help were dearly appreciated.
“And wake up to a crying baby twelve times in the middle of the night? I love you guys, but no thanks,” she teased as you playfully rolled your eyes.
“That’s fair. But the offer still stands.”
Ellie shrugs nonchalantly and lands beside you on the couch, laying her head on your shoulder as you both stare lovingly down at the baby sleeping soundly in your arms.
“I know, but you should make my old room the baby’s new one. Besides, Joel just set up my stereo, and I blast that thing non-stop. No baby is gonna like that.”
“Oh, trust me, we know.” You whisper as you kiss the top of her head, your cheek nudging against her brunette tresses tied back into a ponytail.
Ellie cooks some sort of monstrosity in the kitchen upon Joel’s return from Tommy and Maria’s. He holds piles of Maria’s hand-sewn diapers and onesies. She was a God send, a woman you consider a Jill of all trades.
Oh, Maria. She always desired that Jackson would not fall into turmoil like most of the country had surely found its way to. In her eyes, Jackson would remain a thriving and welcoming community to those who were good of heart.
That woman worked to the bone to ensure that Jackson’s residents were safe and happy. Living here was like living in a snow globe, safe from the outside world and protected from danger.
As the de facto leader of the Jackson settlement, she wore many hats. From trading and supplies to security and community welfare, Maria made it her mission to ensure that all new families found their new home in Jackson to be an inviting one—a safe haven from their old lives and here to start anew.
“Maria bartered for new cotton,” Joel whispers as he enters the living room, quiet so as not to stir the baby.
“She did?” You ask softly, sitting up slightly as you feel his hand cup your cheek from above, tilting your head back so he can give you a proper kiss.
“Yeah, she was gonna try and find somethin’ alternative to cotton for the diapers, but they set her up with some scavenged materials and clothing to make lots of diapers out of. Plus, gave her some stuff to cultivate it here. Y’know, be self-sufficient.”
“Wow,” you mutter tiredly, rubbing at your eyes as your daughter begins to twitch in your arms. “I think she hears her daddy’s voice.”
Joel cooes softly, quick to drop the items off on the kitchen counter with haphazard abandon. He grunts quietly as his knees scream for rest until he sits beside you on the couch with open palms. You delicately hand him the baby, and his eyes twinkle at the sight of her. He was adorably cute when he baby-babbled, though he swears he never does.
“Hi sweet wittle girl, pretty pwincess, did you have a good day with mommy?”
It takes you this long to realize how much his hair has grown out. Your fingers softly weave into the greying curls, twirling one around your finger before you let it fall into its natural waves.
“It’s so long, baby,” you whisper like honey.
He lets out a quiet chuckle and absentmindedly leans into your touch. “I’know. Haven’t had time to get it cut,” he turns his attention back to the little girl swaddled in his arms, “and I think I know who’s been keepin’ me so damn busy.”
You hum and gently clutch the curls at the nape of his neck, truly in awe of how long they were. You’ve never seen him let it get this long. As Joel would say, this is Tommy long. But was there really a look he couldn’t pull off?
“I, uh, I don’t want you to cut it.” Your words come off shy and sweet, making him melt as he slowly turns to look at you with a raised brow.
“Is that so?” His southern twang rolls freely off his tongue.
“Mhm, you look so handsome. I think I would cry if you got rid of that thick mane of yours.”
He chuckles again, a low and sultry one. “Alright. I’ll keep puttin’ up with it.”
“Mmm, please do. It’s sorta doin’ somethin’ for me.”
Joel pauses and watches as the aging sunlight shines over your face. He takes your hand in his large calloused one and squeezes, circling his thumb along your wrist. “You’ve given me a life I sometimes don’t feel like I deserve. A happy one. I don’t think there’s a way I can ever say thank you or I love you enough for how my life has turned out. Without you, I might be dead.”
“Oh, Joel,” you whisper as you rest your forehead against his own, both of your eyes falling closed. “You are deserving of every moment of happiness in this life. You make my life worth living. You saved us.”
Joel lets out a wet chuckle, kissing the tip of your nose before meeting your lips delicately.
In this light, the amber glow of the sun setting just beyond the walls outside, he’s so handsome. It truly makes your heart skip a beat. After all these years of pain, loss, and suffering, Joel is happy. It’s all you’ve ever wanted to make him.
During the first few weeks in this new and unfamiliar settlement, Joel would shoot up in the middle of the night, upset that he had fallen asleep. He hadn’t slept in a home with four solid walls in so long, none of you had. You remember the first night he slept soundly, snoring like a madman and nuzzling into his pillow. He was safe. There were no clickers in waiting, no scavengers to fend off. His people were protected. He could breathe.
Never did you once think that at the ends of the world, there would be room for you to feel like this. Reborn. It led you to Joel and Ellie and continued with your baby girl. Your lives are getting a second chance.
You didn’t know how long it would stay like this because nothing was forever. But you would wake up tomorrow morning and run a hand through Joel’s hair, through the pretty curls that tickled his neck, and the opportunity for it to keep growing would be another sign that your lives weren’t ending. They were only just beginning.
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#joel miller#joel miller smut#pedro pascal#pedro pascal the last of us#pedro pascal joel miller#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller one shot#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x female reader#tlou#tlou fic#the last of us#the last of us fanfiction#hellishjoel#joel miller x reader#joel tlou#jackson joel miller#tlou2#ellie tlou2
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HOW I MANIFESTED MY DREAM LIFE IN A WEEK
BACKSTORY
So I decided to fully immerse myself in "persisting" and fulfilling when I listened to Lonely one by LOVA because I spent around an hour just sobbing because I related to the song.
the week that I started was around Easter break and I was under the most amount of stress I have ever been through and I could see it the effects on my body
I was breaking out with huge pimples even though I was on accutane, I was averaging 2 hours of sleep a day every week for 2 weeks, my period had going on for 2 weeks, I was losing weight rapidly (was under 35kg:( ) my anxiety was at an all time high because I got harassed again(sexual assault victim). I used to have severe depression and have had multiple failed attempts of suicide. AND YES I WAS DESPERATE AS FUCK TO MANIFEST THIS DREAM LIFE OF MINE WHICH IS NO LONGER A DREAM
in the mornings I would be super anxious but I learned how to deal with it and get myself into the state super easily
HOW I DID IT
I GOT OFF TUMBLR: you know how many times I doubted myself only to realise I was doing everything right
I also read and listened to Edward Art MULTIPLE TIMES
Within a week of fulfilling and persisting, I had manifested my dream life. just like that. I woke up one morning and everything I had ever desired was right there. and it was super easy.
all I did was affirm(to remind not to get), visualise and feel. I would only do these methods if I wanted to, if I didn't I wouldn't.
Within a few days, the anxiety lessened so much and it started to feel natural.
this was a question on Bambi's " how I manifested with hard circumstances " post which has now been sadly deleted but I remember copying this because it gave me hope at the time I copied it (don't hope, just know)
"But isn’t ranting “not letting the old story die out?” you and i could rant until our minds are cleared, just as long as you flip my thoughts, you are on the right track. I rant for 2% of my 24 hour days. The other 98% i was persisting in the fact that creation was done. as “time” went on, it began to feel more natural and I felt more at ease. I held onto that feeling because I knew this was when I would get my desires and I did."
and that was when I knew I shouldn't give up and I just kept going even when I wanted myself to just get on tumblr and overconsume
I actually nearly decided to see what I was "doing wrong". I clicked on one of Aphrodite's posts but I didn't read it. I just asked myself if I would look through it if I had my desires and I wouldn't and since I already have all of my desires I didn't.
Whenever the anxiety was too strong and I could feel the frustration and desperation building up, I would just rant and it helped me calm down and get back into the state super easily.
why?
because STATES MANIFEST THOUGHTS DON'T
which is why you can rant.
you know how many FUCKING DOUBTS I had, but I didn't even give them attention coz they didn't deserve any and how many times I wanted to just give up, but I was like NO, STFU, I DON'T WANNA LIVE MISERABLY ANYMORE and now I'm not :)
The affirmations I used:
It is done
I am living my dream life
I am in my desired reality
The 3d will conform as long as i keep persisting
Imagination is the real reality
I also daydreamed, but since imagination is the real reality they were real
WHAT I MANIFESTED
- desired appearance
- name change
- family change
- skills (drivers licence etc)
- apartment and furniture
- wealth
- a bunch of random materialistic things
- desired friend group (I absolutely love them!)
- desired uni and always getting good grades
- outfits from pinterest
and a bunch of other things
- I also ended up manifesting an sp without even knowing and he's pretty much I everything I scripted him to be(scripted a year ago because I didn't really care for a relationship) but this happened before I manifested my dream life
after a year and half of being on loablr I finally manifested my dream life. and you can too
(there was probably over 100 things I wanted but I realised what I want is not much, nothing ever is when you know about loa and yes, i was super desperate)
you don't need anymore information other than @angelsinluv states post and fulfillment challenge
you shouldn't ever be stressed or worried while manifesting whatever you want, because you wouldn't stress if you had it
TAKE YOUR TIME
YOU GOT THIS
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LAMB X BISHOP MASTERPOST YEAAAA!!!
(original template link)
this genuinely took me so long but i needed to explore my ship dynamics with ramzi and his bishops! more details under the cut if you want to know more- warning this post is LONG!!!:
[edit: i was obviously rlly sleep deprived while writing this so im editing it for better readability, including using more consistent pronouns for everyone bc reading it back this post. was very hard to parse 💀]
in order, just adding notes and addendums :3c im super sleep deprived so im trying my best but i need to yap about them
ramzi's pronouns are it/he/they!
narinder;
initially a very slow burn relationship, this sheet shows them at their peak. it takes a very long time for the lamb to forgive narinder, and vice versa, but once they're over their differences they're committed.
notes;
he/they for narinder :3c he's bisexual with a preference for masc presenting people! (using he/him for this post)
prefers to be the big spoon but will allow ramzi to take that spot if it really insists on it
reaallly loves to wear the lamb's fleeces and cloaks (the only clothing of theirs that will fit him) but is too proud to directly ask for them
narinder really does not like most people- the only ones he usually socializes with are ramzi and his siblings, possibly a follower he can tolerate for a few minutes. if ramzi is talking to others while narinder is shadowing him he tends to just flick his tail and sulk quietly until his lamb gives him attention again
narinder isn't great with words, he prefers to show ramzi his love with physical affection (in private) and acts of service, while ramzi is more than willing to shower narinder with loving words and acts of devotion
ramzi refuses to confess its feelings to narinder first, full stop. narinder waits and waits, but eventually gives in and tells ramzi how he feels first- ramzi is still feeling bitter and betrayed by narinder, not appreciating them snatching it from its peaceful death to be a tool in his games. they're both incredibly conflicted, it takes a long while for them to work their differences out. its not something that can be solved with a single conversation, but eventually they come to terms with everything that's happened and make amends
ramzi wouldn't actually squash the bug- it'd prefer to just grab it and take it out of whatever space its invaded, narinder will just smack it and be done with it
im just applying the driving one if i ever make a modern au lmfao
narinder cannot cook to save his damn life after being locked up for so long- ramzi had to learn quickly being raised by ratau, i'll be real i dont think that rat knows how to cook
that prickly cat would prefer not to show his love for the lamb in public, but he might sneak a kiss while no one is looking... ramzi however doesn't care, though it does like to fluster narinder a little by flirting while others are around
these two would kill for each other, narinder is practically begging the lamb to let him do so actually- nari is described as the lamb's shadow (affectionately) by most because of how often he's seen just following it around the cult. god help you if you confess your love to the lamb while he's around- though ramzi does get pretty jealous if it sees anyone making eyes at his special kitty...
nari is 4,000 years old virgin to me lmao. ramzi has had a few relationships before narinder, it actually marries shamura before nari- they're not beating the toxic yaoi allegations any time soon they were still battling their resentment around that time
i'll touch on the spicier dynamics in a dedicated post sometime >:3c that'll apply to the rest too-
i wouldn't describe narinder as being awkward, but moreso stoic and lost really. he's also just incredibly pissed off with ramzi, feeling robbed of his rightful status as a god and feeling jealous of everything its built for itself in such a small amount of time- later on he's more flustered than nervous or awkward because that damned lamb wont stop flirting with him
gods help you if narinder even sees you making eyes at the lamb. he's incredibly possessive over his former vessel, its perceived rejection of him made something in him snap and they want to possess it, even if he knows that's not exactly plausible... he's normal, i swear (<-lying) ramzi returns some of that energy, it really does not like followers flirting with its favorite cat- i'll be the first to admit that they've got some toxic codependency going on
-
leshy;
leshy uses any pronouns! he really just don't care that much, same with his sexuality (using he/him for simplicity for this post)
these two fight over who gets to be the big spoon, since they're nearly even in height (leshy tries to argue his branches make him taller) it makes it easier for them to trade big/little spoon positions- but theyre so competitive they end up wrestling over it
leshy can't even see the clothes he's wearing, but he likes the idea of ramzi matching with him, even if he won't directly admit that
ramzi is rarely called by name when leshy is around, it's always 'lambzi', 'lamby', 'cottonball', or any other seemingly sarcastic pet name he can come up with for it- meanwhile ramzi often calls him 'wiggler' or 'wormy'
compared to leshy, ramzi is a little less outgoing. leshy loves to be the center of attention, he loves to pull pranks and cause mischief whenever he can.
ramzi's quick to let leshy know he is loved through any means, though surprisingly leshy is a bit more inconspicuous about showing his affections for his lamb through old traditions it clearly has no clue about but leshy gets a bit of joy watching its confusion (shamura tells it later-)
these two have a pretty easygoing relationship, at first leshy is upset about his lost godhood but he quickly begins to like staying with the lamb when he learns how accommodating and, frankly, extremely chaotic it is- they get along very well and have a teasing, poking and earnestly soft relationship rather early on. leshy admits his feelings first, mainly getting fed up that ramzi hasnt confessed that it obviously likes him by that point
neither of them mind bugs, leshy actually likes them quite a bit. they'd prefer to catch and release rather than smash them
the poor worm is blind of course he cant cook!! he might be able to if he really focused on building muscle memory and focusing his senses but he's honestly just too lazy to bother, heket's cooking is better anyway
leshy doesn't care if anyone is looking, he loves his lamb! he gets a little embarrassed when they know its siblings are around, but she does get a kick out of knowing he's making narinder jealous
ramzi would lay down his life for his precious chaotic grub, it knows leshy is more than capable but it can't help but worry sometimes- leshy knows ramzi can handle itself so he's pretty relaxed about everything, unless ramzi comes home particularly hurt
i like to think leshy was a bachelor in his time... why not?? he's the bishop of chaos, im sure he's started a love triangle intentionally to watch them fight over him- ramzi however is a little less experienced in romance
leshy has not an ounce of awkwardness in his body, ramzi's a little awkward when he says something particularly unhinged but otherwise they match each other's freak a little too well
leshy would never admit to ramzi that the smell of anyone else stuck to his wool makes leshy a little jealous... another reason he likes to lend his clothes to ramzi, really-
-
heket;
she/they/he for heket, she's bisexual with a preference toward women (using she/her for simplicity on this post)
heket is the big spoon, no questions asked. she loves to cradle that lamb in her arms and it is NOT one to complain about that
heket doesnt lend out her clothes very often, but she likes to see how baggy they are on ramzi- she quite likes seeing it wake up wearing her shirts...
ramzi is incredibly formal with heket, usually referring to her by name or some honorific to show its respect (something she appreciates greatly)- meanwhile heket is always referring to the lamb by anything but its name, really
heket's level of social battery depends on the day, some days she would prefer not to speak to anyone, others she's more outgoing
heket shows her affection by making sure ramzi isn't overworking itself, making sure it's eating and sleeping- she knows it can care for itself, but she just wants to protect her lamb.
there's absolutely no way heket would swallow her pride and confess her brewing feelings for ramzi, she waits very patiently for it to finally get its nerve up and admit that it wants to pursue a relationship with her- after (mostly) healing her throat, she doesn't feel so lonely in the cult once her voice returns and she begins to feel conflicted about ramzi... she wants to hate him, but it's doing everything they can to help her siblings and she can't help but respect and admire it for that, she would admit that she would never consider it if she was still a god-
heket thinks bugs are cute, she'll either catch and release them or keep them in a little container for a bit (she's never beating the weird little sister allegations to me)
ramzi's cooking definitely is not as good as heket's, if it cooks a meal the whole cult is asking when it's heket's turn next LMAO-
PDA ruins heket's cool and stoic exterior in her eyes, though she can't just say that to the lamb- she'll gladly give it a hug or a kiss when nobody's looking, though
honestly, ramzi is just protective over all of the bishops. it feels terribly for killing them repeatedly and making them suffer in purgatory, and it never wants to see them suffer again- heket knows the lamb is strong, she's seen it with her own eyes. that doesn't stop her from worrying for it a little when it leaves on a crusade, however...
heket has some relationship experience, though its been a WHILE- forneus and ramzi are her most recent romantic endeavors and she's incredibly awkward about both of them
heket is insanely awkward, she tries to maintain a cool exterior but it's so hard when that damned lamb is so cute and that sweet cat mom is so kind and shaped- whats a woman to do in her situation??
she can get a little bit jealous if her buttons are pushed on the wrong day, but other than that ramzi and heket have a pretty open relationship
-
kallamar;
any pronouns for kallamar! though he/she are most preferred, she's very lax about his gender and loves to experiment (using he/she interchangeably, lamb is referred to by it/its for simplicity)
despite being nearly a full foot and a half taller than ramzi, kallamar loves to be its little spoon! he feels so safe in his lamb's embrace, she would never leave if it was possible
none of her clothes would fit the lamb, but he does have clothing made for it often! he'll be damned if he lets ramzi walk around looking anything less than presentable, even if its naked it must be TASTEFULLY naked- (though his definition of what that means is a bit nebulous. ramzi's convinced he just wants to ogle)
they love to make up pet names for each other, 'mari' and 'kallie' are ramzi's favorites to use for its precious husband. kallamar is particularly fond of calling ramzi his puppy, often flustering it-
kallamar is a YAPPER and she will not shut up about how much he loves her lamb! ramzi doesn't mind it, but she's often talking so much that it can't properly find the words to express it back- so it gives gifts often, knowing how much its wife loves to adorn himself in jewelry and silks!
ramzi is actually a little bit intimidated by kallamar's experience in love and how pretty he is, kallamar ends up making a very dramatic love confession in front of everyone, totally flustering ramzi (though it has to admit it really loves the dedication!)
he is TERRIFIED of bugs kallamar will shriek so loudly if she finds even a small beetle anywhere near her living space- ramzi often finds itself catching the little bugs while kallie screams bloody murder in the corner
kallamar absolutely can cook but he doesn't want the responsibility of cooking entire meals for the whole cult so she intentionally cooks like shit to avoid it- ramzi catches onto that pretty quickly though
these two need to get a ROOM the confessional is NOT to be used in that way!!!
kallamar's overprotective attitude mainly comes from a place of not wanting the lamb's image to be ruined, he'll tend to its makeup and wardrobe, even helping to enforce loyalty amongst its flock to keep its image pristine- and kallamar is just an easy bullying target, ramzi is Very quick to put an end to that!
kallamar is absolutely more experienced than ramzi, though he's no less dedicated to it. it makes their relationship very calm, there's very little tension between them!
ramzi is very awkward around kallamar at first, he's pretty indignant and a bit cruel to it during the first few weeks- once ramzi begins offering him gifts and praise she warms up rather quickly, however. ramzi's disarmingly cute appearance and dirty mouth tends to make kallamar a nervous mess sometimes, though...
there's not a single ounce of jealousy between these two 🧍♂️ they both understand that they're dedicated to one another, and can dedicate themselves to others without compromising their bond
-
shamura;
they/it for mura! i feel that they enjoy experimenting with their clothing in relation to their gender, but they prefer neutral pronouns (using they/them for mura and he/him for ramzi for readability)
these two take turns on who gets to be the big spoon, though usually shamura claims that spot
shamura loves to weave clothes for ramzi! they enjoy seeing his face light up when they incorporate designs ramzi has shown them that sheep often wore, wanting to keep that memory alive for him
they're pretty formal at first, but the two of them can't help but call each other by loving nicknames once they've become comfortable with each other- ramzi often calls shamura 'softie' or 'dearest'
shamura prefers to keep to themself, though they've grown rather attached to webber. they've basically adopted the little creature, that's their son...
once clarity has returned to shamura through ramzi's healing, they have a better grasp on their words- but they still struggle to word their feelings a lot of the time. they try their best, but they find it easier to give gifts or show their affections with physical intimacy when words fail them
shamura is incredibly paranoid and wary of ramzi's presence when they're first indoctrinated, until they finally break bread and reach an understanding, shamura doesn't even consider the lamb could feel anything but hatred and resentment toward them. they assume that he wants revenge, but learns that he just wants to help them- it takes a bit longer for the fear to truly leave shamura, but when they never feel that dagger in their back, they begin to soften he clearly isnt lying to them, he's helped all of their siblings become as happy as he can- and he asks nothing in return of them? it feels too good to be true, but they can't help but trust him eventually ramzi confesses first, and is initially (softly) rejected... but theyre not entirely opposed! mainly conflicted, for a while-
they both love bugs, obviously- though sometimes ramzi gets bitten while trying to show shamura the little spiders he's captured
shamura likes to cook but they prefer liquid only foods- it's not horrible, but sometimes they want more variety
shamura is a bit shy about their relationship with the lamb, they're the least experienced with this sort of thing out of all of the bishops- war and reason have no room for love and compassion, after all. they're learning, with ramzi's help
if someone even LOOKS at ramzi the wrong way, shamura is the first to come to the lamb's defense. both a form of devotion, claiming ramzi as their charge they'd guard with their life, and a form of facing their grief- they'd ended ramzi's life once, they don't want to see it hurt anymore
these two match each other's freak so well its scary- you dont wanna see what happens in the mating tent when these two are in there!!
after shamura's initial wariness and shortness with ramzi fades, they become incredibly shy and awkward- they don't know how to navigate all these new feelings, and they don't really know who to turn to for advice
shamura is very possessive of their lamb- they were the first to be wed by him, after all- not to mention i personally think them being a spider influences this quite a bit,
WOAW THATS IT!!! holy shit thats a lot of text.... anyway if u have any questions abt any of them or want more clarification feel free to send me asks i love to yap abt them all <3
oh boy im not looking forward to putting all the tags on this
#g.png#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl lamb#cotl leshy#cotl heket#cotl kallamar#cotl shamura#cotl narinder#narilamb#leshylamb#shroomwool#lambket#kallamb#kallalamb#lambura#lamura#narinder x lamb#leshy x lamb#heket x lamb#kallamar x lamb#shamura x lamb#they of salvation au#oc: ramzi
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wanna be yours
18+. smut. voyeurism ig? eddie, steve and reader are all freaky little fucks;) steddie x reader.
this is just something short and sweet to ease myself back into posting lol. idk if anyone read my post, but i will be going ahead with my plans for a spooky week on my blog!! i'm super excited about it!!!! i need to organise everything but when everything is finalised, i'll update you all :)⋅
───⊱༺ ♰ ༻⊰───
eddie had known he and steve were never going to be the best of friends, that was clear from the moment he’d moved in.
donning a basketball and a polo shirt rather than a bass guitar and an amp.
when his girlfriend had started coming around, he didn’t think she liked him much either.
there wasn’t a day where you weren’t arguing or bickering over something stupid.
eddie just kept his head down, sliding his headphones over his ears instead of listening to the yelling.
he did that a lot while you were around, keeping his head low so as to not make it completely obvious that he had a serious boner for you.
he doesn’t think that steve was the type to take lightly to something like that, more likely to beat his ass than to fist bump over your appearance.
well.
maybe you’d caught him looking a few times. gormless in staring at your tight jeans or the tiny skirts you went out in. but that was all.
you’d usually smile a little, maybe even twirl to give him a better view and then flounce out of the door on steve’s arm.
but now, his eyes stay clamped shut.
he’s not stupid.
the blanket rustles in a certain way when you’re doing something you’re not supposed to be.
contrary to popular belief, eddie had had sex before. he knew about the little sighs and muffled grunts, that’s why he could tell instantly what was happening five feet away from his bed.
you whisper something to steve, too mumbled for eddie to really make it out.
“nah.. he’s asleep,” steve reassures, louder than you had been.
he wasn’t. but he doesn’t want to look now, squeezing his eyes shut tighter and attempting to control his rapid breathing.
the mattress creaks as steve pulls your body closer, his chest pressed against your back as his hand fusses with your tiny pajama shorts.
you exhale softly, signaling that this was no longer just a raunchy make out session and instead a manifestation of both his biggest dream and worst nightmare.
there’s not much you can do on a university of chicago single bed. but you were sure giving it a try.
“shit,” your voice shudders, now accompanied by the unmistakable sound of skin against skin.
eddie doesn’t mean to, honest.
but his eyes flicker, forcing themselves open to witness the x-rated scene in front of him. he can’t help it, his mind going positively crazy trying to picture what was happening.
he just needed a reference image, something to help him fall asleep.
you’re already looking back, eyelids flitting shut with every stroke of steve’s cock, your mouth hung open with wetted lips.
he can’t pull his eyes away. not with your gaze solidly meeting his, not when you were already looking at him.
your lips quirk into a smile, throwing your head back against steve’s shoulder but your eyes steady on him.
the blanket bobs up and down, consistent with the rhythm of the old squeaking mattress and steve’s low grunts. his face buried into the back of your neck, acting as a muzzle.
his hand snakes around your body, fist wrapping around your exposed neck.
eddie almost chokes on his breath, his fingers curling around his blanket. his cock was throbbing at this point, aching in his tight boxers.
fuuuck.
how is he even in this situation? he should be out partying or pulling an all-nighter in the library or maybe even meeting his very own girlfriend.
no.
he’s laid up watching his roommate fuck his girlfriend instead.
your eyes glitter in the low light, just before you pull out the big guns.
“oh fuuck steve,” breathlessly whining into the room, zero regard to the volume of your mewls.
steve hums, the hand that enveloped your neck now sliding down slowly to your tits, grabbing hungrily at the flesh.
eddie’s own hand palms at his skin, pawing pathetically at his thigh in a bid to divert some of the blood rushing to his dick, elsewhere.
steve’s pace fastens, his own moans getting louder, deeper even. his mouth sucking at the taut skin of your neck.
you weren’t trying to hide it anymore, blinking slowly as steve pounds into you. the headboard now joining in on the chorus of sounds, repetitive and loud in the otherwise quiet room.
eddie’s cock twitches, forcing a strangled huff from his throat. he needed to touch you, badly. fingernails leaving half-moon markings in his thigh, counteracting the gnawing ache settling in his cock.
what steve does next very nearly sends eddie to fucking mars.
his hand leaves your chest, sliding back up your neck, his middle and fore finger circle your glossy lips before sliding slowly into your mouth.
holy fucking shit.
���just like that, honey,” steve coos, his lips cock to the side.
he’s known this entire time.
eyes peering out from over your neck, watching eddie watch you and your performance.
eddie’s eyes flicker between the two of you, unsure of where to settle.
this all felt so strangely intimate, like he should get up and go join the two of you. he would, of course, if that were even an option.
to steve, this was probably some weird power play. a real, dirty kink, maybe. he’d hold this over eddie for the rest of the year, goading and taunting him about the time he watched him fuck his girlfriend.
but you, he can’t figure out.
you were looking at him first.
that had to mean something.
you draw him out of his thoughts with a thick, raspy moan, stifled by steve’s fingers still between your lips.
“c’mon baby,” steve groans, averting his eyes back to you, “you gonna cum? give it to me princess,” his thrusts becoming more sporadic as he obviously nears his own orgasm.
your eyes close fully now, leaving eddie to watch on his own. squeaking out intoxicating mewls with every stroke, every slap of skin.
your body goes limp in steve’s hold, “ohh shit- don’t stop, please.. please don’t stop,” desperate pleas turning to whimpers as steve comes to his own climax.
throaty gasps for air mix with your whining words, frazzling eddie’s poor, hopeless brain for the rest of his inadequate life.
his dick hurts, straining in his hole-y boxers, begging to be touched. he’ll have to tiptoe out to the bathroom once he’s sure you’re asleep. not that it even matters now.
eddie can’t help but let his mind wander, had he cum in you? was it dripping out of your pussy?
he’s disgusted with himself for even going there.
steve sighs, placing a lazy kiss to the back of your neck, glancing at eddie one last time before embracing sleep and letting his eyes flutter shut.
it takes longer for you to come back down to earth, still reeling from your orgasm when your hazy gaze meets his again.
there’s something different about your eyes, something that was missing from steve’s. the warmness, the friendly crinkle that sat on the corner. he’s not sure but it makes his heart thud even faster.
you blink a couple times before turning over and nestling into steve’s chest.
eddie’s left reeling.
a churning in his stomach that he’s not sure he’ll ever be rid of.
he waits until your breathing slows completely and steve starts snoring before padding out of the room, an obvious tent in his boxers and a dying urge to make it disappear.
life wouldn’t ever be the same again.
#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve harrington smut#eddie munson smut#steddie x reader#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington fic#eddie munson x reader
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WHAT GOOD IS SORRY?
ex husband!leon x f!reader
word count: 3.3k summary: why does one wound those they love so deeply? masterlist | taglist | ko-fi
18+ MDNI. mentions of divorce, cheating/infidelity, awkward leon stuff, guilt, yearning, leon and reader have a child together — and i named her denise for whatever reason, getting stood up by a date, drunk texting, kissing, oral(r!receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, bittersweet ending(?) i guess.
a/n: old wip,, this was supposed to be super gut wrenching and angsty but for some reason, my brain didn’t want to cooperate and decided that this would be the ending. also, i’ve been contemplating whether to address this or not and even tho its not a big issue, PLEASE interact with my posts. it’s the only way i’m able to know that you guys actually like the stuff i write, and ever since i’ve started writing on here 7 months ago, i’ve been noticing a decrease in interactions. im honestly losing motivation to write because i truly don’t know if people actually read my shit and like it. anyway, enjoy my mediocre writing ^___^
leon regrets everything he’s done up to this point. running into ada on a mission, going to the bar with her afterwards, and the kiss. the stupid kiss that eventually led up to this.
the divorce.
it all felt wrong, so wrong. yet here he was, driving his car to your doorstep, his stomach in knots despite having done this several times before.
for the sake of your daughter, the two of you had decided that shared custody would be the best option.
he stands at the door, hesitating before knocking, his knuckles hovering anxiously. clearing his throat, he gently raps his knuckles against the door, hoping for an answer. he's already second-guessing himself, wondering if he should have texted or called first.
your door eventually opens, and he's met with a familiar face. you.
you greet him with a civil smile, pressing a kiss into your daughter’s hair before ushering her inside.
he fidgets, adjusting the brim of his leather jacket nervously as he takes in the sight of you.
you reach to shut the door, catching a glimpse of him awkwardly hovering over you porch.
“you okay?”
he tries to find his voice. "yeah, i just, uh... i was just thinking..”
he looks down at his feet, kicking the ground with the side of his scuffed boot, as if trying to buy some time or maybe just willing the floor to swallow him up. when he speaks, his voice is low and sheepish. “when i was— last night, i thought… uh, do- do you remember when.. shit. are you free this weekend?”
”what?” you muse at his question. “leon, i really don’t wanna have this conversation with you again,”
he winces at the rebuff, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets as a defensive measure.
leon’s adam’s apple bobs up and down as he swallows hard, his ears burning at your words. he looks anywhere but at you, his eyes darting over the porch railing, the foliage, the sky — anywhere but your eyes. oh, those eyes he adored so much.
"no, wait, hear me out,”
"listen..." he takes a deep breath, steeling himself for whatever fallout this might bring, knowing he's already on shaky ground. “i just wanna talk.. to you.”
he shifts his weight, glancing up at the roof of the house as if the heavens themselves could offer a solution. when he does meet your gaze again, his eyes are pleading, his jaw clenched with a mix of anxiety and something akin to desperation.
“i’m sorry, leon. i’m busy,”
he scoffs and his face scrunches up, a pained grimace contorting his features as he cuts you off. “c’mon, please?” he's standing too close now, invading the personal space he once knew so well. “i.. i know it isn’t what we do anymore but—“
“no, seriously. i literally can’t. i have something up.”
“oh.” he deflates slightly at your dismissal, shoulders slumping in defeat. a soft, regretful sigh escapes his parted lips, and his eyes drop, gaze wandering aimlessly. "can- can you can you cancel? is it really important? what about on sunday-? i’m sure we can..“
“leon.” it's not a question this time, you stare at him with the tiniest hint of pity. “i have a date.”
ouch. he freezes, his chest constricting as if he's been punched. a date? the words echo in his mind, each syllable like a dagger to his pride, his ego, his everything. a muscle in his jaw twitches, his hands clenching and unclenching in his pockets. leon swallows hard, his throat suddenly parched.
"oh," he repeats, the sound barely above a whisper. he takes a shaky breath, trying to calm the storm brewing inside him.
he rubs a hand over the back of his neck, jaw working in agitation as he grapples with the blow of your words. a snarky retort rises in his throat, a cutting remark to deflect the sting, but it withers on his tongue, a futile attempt at salvaging pride he knows is misplaced.
leon swallows hard, his mouth opening and closing a few times before he finally finds his voice, laced with a wry bitterness. “yeah, no worries.. guess that's that," a bitter, hollow chuckle escapes him as he shifts his weight. his tone is flippant, trying to mask the sting of rejection, but the defeat is palpable as he turns to leave. he starts down the porch steps, his boots thudding against the wooden slats.
you finally close the door on him, standing by the door, hand on the knob, unease prickling along you skin like a thousand tiny needles, each one stinging with the weight of guilt. you sigh, rubbing the bridge of her nose as she tries to process her feelings. guilt, regret, a twinge longing — it's all so confusing, so messy.
the weight of his pleading eyes, the desperation in his tone — he had no right acting like a dejected puppy after he cheated on you.
you shake your head, face between your hands. he made his choices, just as you had, and now it was time to move on. you squared your shoulders, took a deep breath, and stepped away from the door, determined to let go of the ghost of what was and focus on the life you were building. for you, and your daughter.
but it’s not really easy.
not when you’re sitting alone at a restaurant, waiting for a date that never bothered to show.
your phone buzzes and you hold your breath. hoping for some sort of confirmation, but it's quickly snuffed out.
‘hey, sorry i couldn’t make it. something important came up’ the simple text reads. the same stupid excuse. every. single. time. your heart sinks, a dull ache forming in the pit of your stomach.
a bitter, derisive chuckle escapes your lips. serves you right. you knew he was trouble from the start. yet, your heart aches, a dull throb of pain and disappointment. you feel so foolish, sitting there, waiting for someone who never shows. though, it isn't really new.
now you lay in your bed, having already kicked off your heels and changed out of the uncomfortably tight dress you wore.
you pull the blankets up to your chin, suddenly feeling cold. you toss and turn, brooding and wallowing in misery, and it seemed like you’ve been doing it for hours till you’re startled out of your fitful doze by the buzz of your phone.
it's a text from leon, of course it is. it’s another one of his ‘where are u? i miss u’ ‘can’t stop thinking about you. please let me c u’ meltdowns.
he's drunk again, you can tell by the sloppy caps and the desperate pleas. every time he has a rough night, he always thinks coming over will magically fix everything. and you always refuse, knowing he’s only drunk and alone. but tonight, you feel particularly lonely.
your thumb hovers over the keyboard, and before you know it, you're typing. ‘come over.’ you hesitate, then send the message.
by then, he’s already halfway out the door, stumbling out and nearly falling as he trips over his own feet in his haste. he takes the stairs two at a time, a goofy, shit-eating grin plastered on his face. when he reaches your door, he pounds on it with a fist. his breath comes out in short puffs as he waits, anticipation making his heart race.
click.
the door creaks open a fraction and his eyes lock onto you, looking all soft and domestic in a robe. leon's breath catches in his throat as his eyes drink you in.
he tumbles in, arms outstretched as if he's about to catch something. he's immediately in your space, arms around you in a tight, needy embrace. his face buries itself in the crook of your neck, breathless with relief and something else, something suspiciously like love.
“leon—“ he smashes his mouth against yours, tongue pushing past your lips, the taste of beer and regret in his breath. his hands roam, sliding up your back, gripping your hair, fingers splayed wide as if to assure himself you're real. a low, desperate sound escapes him, half-groan, half-moan as his body presses against yours. he's desperate, sloppy, but undeniably passionate. when he finally breaks for air, he rests his forehead against yours, eyes glassy with drink and longing.
“missed you s’ much, baby,” he presses a kiss to your neck, tongue tracing the pulse point with a reverence that borders worship.
“let me make it up to you, please,” he looks up at you with those big, puppy-dog eyes, an expression so pathetic it’s comical. yet, the desperation behind them makes it anything but.
his hands skim down your sides to your hips, fingers digging in as if to keep you anchored to him. his face buried in the crook of your neck as his hands knead the meat of your ass, claws digging in through the fabric of your robe. his breath hitches as he nuzzles into you, inhaling deeply as if committing you to memory.
he trails a string of open-mouthed kisses down your neck, pausing to nibble on your collarbone before continuing his journey south. his hands never stop moving, roaming over your body with an insatiable hunger.
you let out a soft whimper, arching into his touch. "bedroom," you breathe out, and he happily obliges.
once inside, he kicks the door shut behind him and spins you around, backing you up against the bed. he begins to undo your robe with shaking fingers, your heavy breathing and the rustling of silk the only sounds in the charged silence between you. when the robe falls open, he pushes it off your shoulders, letting it pool at your feet.
the thin, sheer fabric of your nightgown offers little resistance as he practically rips it off you. a shaky breath escapes his parted lips as he reaches for you again, fingers grazing your skin as if he's not quite trusting his own touch.
he guides you to the bed, pushing you to sit on the edge. he immediately drops to his knees before you, face between your legs.
“these ‘re pretty,” he slurs out, before he fucking tears your underwear off.
“leon!”
he chuckles at your reaction, a low, rumbling sound in the back of his throat. “sorry,” he murmurs against your inner thigh, his hot breath causing goosebumps to rise in its wake. “gonna buy you new ones,”
his stubble scrapes against your sensitive skin as he slowly trails open-mouthed kisses up your thigh, savoring every inch of you that you’re willing to give him.
he buries his face between your legs, licking and sucking with a single-minded devotion that makes your toes curl and eyes roll back in your head. his scruffy cheeks hollow as he sucks a hickey into the soft flesh of your inner thigh.
god, it’s been so long. the feelings practically foreign.
his tongue begins to lash at your slit, long and flat, with a dexterity that belies his level of inebriation.
“you still mine?” he huffs. “‘course you are, ‘m the only one that can get ya this wet,”
slurp, smack, suck, repeat.
his tongue is relentless, probing your entrance, swirling around your clit with increasing fervor. he's sloppy, uncoordinated, but it only serves to heighten the intensity of it all. every time he pulls back, you can hear his heavy breathing, feel the vibrations of his moans against your most intimate flesh. your fingers thread into his hair, tugging him closer as your back arches off the bed. a keening whimper escapes you, the sound muffled by your clenched teeth as you struggle to maintain some semblance of control.
“fuck, leon—” your words trail off into incoherent mumbles as he drives you closer to the edge, tongue darting in and out with a pace that’ll make a grown woman go crazy. “d-denise, were gonna wake her up,”
a low growl rumbles in his chest as he responds to your whine. there's a hint of accusation in his gaze, but it quickly morphs into a look of raw, desperate need. “don’t matter,” he's relentless, persistent, refusing to back down even as you tremble and writhe beneath him.
he grunts, his attention snapping back to you, blue eyes squinting as he looks up from between your thighs. his tongue is a damn metronome, lapping and smacking with a relentless rhythm that has you chasing the edge of oblivion.
it's like every drunken fantasy he's ever had is being poured out onto you. messy, uncoordinated, desperate. and you’re eating it up. “gonna make you forget all about that stupid date," he mutters through slurred words. "’m the only man who can make you feel this good,"
he's not wrong. the way he's attacking you with his tongue, it's like he's trying to prove a fucking point.
"leon, please," you gasp out, and he takes it as an invitation to continue. your entire body is wound up tight, a taut string ready to snap. he slips a finger in, then two, curling them just right so that they’re pressing against that spongy spot that has you seeing stars.
your legs wrap around his head, fingers threading into his hair as you pull him in as close as humanly possible. his name is a chant on your lips, a prayer to the gods of pleasure. "leon, leon, leon,". denise could come in right now and catch you like this — legs splayed, back arched, eyes squeezed shut in bliss. he's that good. or maybe that bad. you dont know. and you don’t care to find out.
"yeah, just like that," he praises, voice a low, gravelly growl. "love my fingers in this greedy little cunt, don't you?"
your thighs clench around his head, heels digging into his back as you ride out the pleasure. "gonna cum, leon, please—“ yours words trail off into a wail, a keen of pure, unadulterated euphoria.
your back arches, toes curl, and your fingers dig into his hair, holding him to you as the wave crashes over you. he tugs you down to the edge of the bed, practically burying his face in your groin. he laps at your slit, in and out, in and out, until the last bit of resistance melts away.
he lifts his face from between your legs, eyes hazy and unfocused as he fumbles to unbuckle his pants. once he has it off, he's back, pushing your legs apart as he kneels between them. the thick of his length throbs against your lower belly, and you can feel his racing heartbeat through every inch of him that's in contact with you.
he notches the head of his cock at your entrance, pressing in just enough to make you feel the pressure, gathering your juices before giving a long, slow stroke up and down, coating himself in you. he's throbbing, pulsing with need, and you can practically taste the desperation in your mouth.
he presses in, just the tip at first, then a bit more. slow, shallow strokes, in and out. his hips rock against yours, the motion slow and languid. one of his hands cups your cheek, thumb brushing over your closed eyelids to check if he was dreaming. the other hand palms the small of your back, fingers digging in as if to anchor himself. your legs wrap around his waist, ankles locking behind his back as he slowly sinks into you.
he's quiet for a moment, just holding you, his heart racing in his chest as if he's trying to communicate something without using words. his hips move, the action slow and lazy, as if he's trying to spoon you into submission.
he pulls out, just to the tip, before pushing back in. the motion is slow, sensual, a deliberate teasing that has you whining and writhing beneath him.
sweat beads on his brow, tracing down the lines of his face, but he doesn't slow. if anything, he's driven by a desperate need to make up for lost time, to prove himself worthy of you. your back arches, hands scrabbling for purchase on the sheets as he pistons in and out, the force of his thrusts rocking your entire body. he's not gentle, not soft, but rough and demanding, just like he always used to be when he was trying to stake his claim.
he nips at your earlobe, his teeth grazing the sensitive flesh before he sooths it with his tongue. “fuck, feels so good,” he gasps out, his words punctuated by the slap of skin against skin. “can't believe i ever let you go.”
"leon," you whimper, the name a plea, a prayer. his lips find yours in a sloppy, frantic kiss. he's drinking you in, devouring your mouth, your moans, your gasps, trying to consume every ounce of you.
he's sweating, hair a mess, face scrunched up in concentration, but those blue eyes remain locked on yours.
you're lost in the sensation, every nerve ending on high alert, screaming for friction, for relief, for release. "leon, leon, gonna cum," you pant, your voice raw, your throat dry. "please, i—" but your pleas are swallowed by his next thrust, his cock dragging against your sensitive walls.
he leans forward, his forehead pressing against yours, noses nearly touching. his hot breath mingles with yours, the scent of his beer-soaked breath and the musk of his arousal mingling together in the most intoxicating way. "love you," he suddenly whispers, the words a quiet, a desperate confession that hangs in the air between you.
“love you, love you, fuck—“
the way your walls squeeze him when you cum drags his own orgasm from him. for a long moment, he stays frozen, buried to the hilt, his chest heaving against yours as he tries to catch his breath.
the heat of your body seeps into his skin, chasing away the chill of the night air. he collapses against you, a boneless heap of satisfied male. his cock throbs, pulses, and drips onto the bed between your legs as he tries to catch his breath. the room is silent, save for your joint heavy breathing, and the occasional groan as his softening length slips out of you. eventually, he rolls off, lying on his back beside you, one big hand coming to rest on your stomach, thumb stroking in a slow, idle pattern. his eyes are hazy, unfocused, but they find yours and hold. a small, sheepish smile tugs at his lips.
"sorry," he slurs out, the word garbled and slightly off-kilter. "i shoulda been better, should’ve tried harder, i... i‘m gonna make things right, i swear,"
he peppers your neck with soft kisses, his stubble rasping against your tender flesh. he's warm, solid, and comforting. gentle and tender, a stark contrast to the desperation that drove him mere moments ago.
he's not reaching for grand gestures or flowery declarations. he's asking for something simple, intimate, and achingly human. a chance to hold you, to sleep beside you, to maybe, begin to rebuild something from the rubble of what once was.
and for a moment, you let yourself believe that he’ll be different this time. that he's not just trying to relive past glories, but genuinely wants to make amends, to start anew.
tags: @crowleyco @withonly-sweetheart @fanilkychae
#— grey’s fics !#luvrgreyy#leon kennedy#resident evil#leon kennedy x reader#leon#infinite darkness leon#yippie#leon scott kennedy#tw cheating#divorce#ex husband#angst#good stuff#idk what else to tag#they have a daughter#shes a girl#tw drinking#drunk texting#bittersweet ending
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neglect kink with older leon???!!?!? like… you’re super horny whining and begging for his attention and he’s just. completely ignoring you. maybe he eventually lets you cockwarm him but he’s still ignoring you… the only way you know he’s enjoying this is because he’s still hard… no sounds or nothing. you’re so desperate for ANYTHING a kiss, a touch, literally any words at all but he’s just focused on his work!!! maybe daddy kink because everything needs daddy kink… maybe, like, you did something bad so this is your punishment… i don’t know… maybe he gives you the attention eventually or not!!!!
pairing: leon kennedy x fem!reader
summary: you've been bad, but you never seem to learn from spankings. leon has to try something new to remind you why you should be a good girl.
cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, cockwarming, masturbation, overstimulation, daddy kink, praise/degradation, age difference, dom/sub stuff (rules, punishment, etc.)
word count: 6.2k
a/n: you're so right, everything does need daddy kink <3 thank you for the request, love. i hope it's what you were wanting. i imagine post-DI leon for this so he's a bit older, but i just used DI for the pic. anyhow, reblogs and comments are always appreciated <3
tags: @sleepyluxe @kaitkatme @tosuckmyweenis @pupthepokemonenthusiast @bizzarethirst @death-paint @iron-toxinz @wildest-dreams-at-midnight @nexysworld @explorevenus @luniaxi
Your deep breaths and soft whimpers had overtaken the quiet murmur of the tv in your bedroom. An old movie played on it, one you had seen time and time again. It no longer had your attention. Instead, you’re focusing on playing with the pulsing bud between your legs. Your fingers thrum back and forth over the sensitive spot, hips pushing down against the mattress as sparks fly in your belly.
Technically, you weren’t supposed to be doing this. It was one of the rules you agreed to when Leon had approached you with some things he wanted to try out for your sex life, just a small set of guidelines to play with. ‘No touching yourself without daddy’s permission' had been listed among others. He counted each one on his fingers as he did, and you nodded your head and looked up at him with your sweet set of eyes. The same set that now flutters with ecstasy as you played your forbidden game. But as long as he didn’t know, it was fine, right?
Your heels dig into the blankets beneath you while your breasts rise and sink with each inhale and exhale. You feel that hot sensation between your legs, the tightening cord, the boiling pleasure. You’re about to let it loose until you hear the front door open and shut, keys clatter on the table, and the familiar grunt Leon does when he slips his shoes off, using the tip of one on the heel of the other.
You nearly miss these little cues because of the rain clashing against your windows, but in a stroke of luck, you catch it all and tear your hand out of your shorts at light speed. Leon’s just walking into the bedroom as you drape the blanket over yourself. Shifting around a little to get comfy, you then gaze up at him, putting some tenderness into your eyes in hopes of throwing him off your scent.
As he gets closer, you take in his appearance. Little droplets of water on the shoulders of his jacket from the rain outside. Shiny hair fresh from the shower he took this morning, shaggy bangs hanging down into his face. Tired glaze over his eyes, work must not have been a walk in the park.
Once he approaches you, he raises his eyebrows, and for a second, you’re sure you’ve been found out. But all he does is sit next to you on the edge of the bed and run a hand over your head. His eyes fixate on you as if he’s studying your features. Your heart pounds, waiting to hear the words belt, over my knee, or sore & stinging leave his lips, but they don’t.
“Been having a nice day, baby?” he asks you, petting your head a few more times.
“Mhm,” you respond. Innocent enough.
“That’s good. What have you been doing?” he asks. Oh fuck.
“Um, just watching a movie,” you answer.
“Yeah? That all?” he continues. Fuck fuck fuck.
“Pretty much. It’s all rainy out. Don’t really feel like getting out of bed,” you say with a casual shrug.
He nods. It seems like an approving gesture, but you could swear there’s a little knowing glint in his eyes. Maybe that’s just your imagination. Hopefully, that’s just your imagination.
“Alright. I gotta go finish up some work for a while, just wanted to check on you first. Keep being a good girl for me,” he tells you. He gives you a small pat on the ass before getting up and walking out of the room as quickly as he had entered.
Your body relaxes, and your pulse descends to normal levels. Maybe you did pull it off. Heist of the century in your book. You settle in to truly just pay attention to the tv for now, but it’s not as simple as it should be when you’re still so pent up. You’d just breached the threshold of release, before you were torn out and back to reality. You could feel the slick that had gathered between your legs, the ache in your clit calling out to your fingers.
The thought of continuing does cross your mind. It would be so easy. Without any suspicion on you, all you would have to do is clamp a hand over your mouth and rub slower so the bed didn't creak. Plus, when he went in his office, he usually worked until the evening anyway. You could cum and be done with it before he had the slightest idea.
No, no, no. You told him you’d be a good girl. You wouldn’t wanna break daddy’s heart by being bad, right? No, you wanted to make him proud. You resign to wait until he wants to play with you. He always did; you can’t recall a night he left you wanting. So you lay on your side, eyes focused on the blue-tinted screen across the room, and keep it together.
But hours go by. And then more hours go by. You keep yourself occupied, marathoning nearly an entire franchise of movies, eating, going on your phone. But none of it fills the Leon-shaped void inside you.
This was the longest he’d ever been in that office. He never worked in there into the night. He always told you that he tried to spend as little time in there as possible. That’s time that could be spent with his good girl, that’s what he told you. Only you hadn’t been a good girl today.
You shake your head, and tell the stupid little voice inside to zip it. He seemed tired, remember? This is probably just an extension of that. He knew he’d have to come home and be in his office all day. It was all a coincidence, this whole thing. There was literally no way he could know what you’d been doing. But daddy knows you better than you know yourself.
Oh god. This was like some form of torture, you’re sure of it. Self-inflicted, or was it really? He was the one who’d made you this way. Whatever. Enough was enough. There was no reason to be paranoid. You could literally just go ask him. Sort this out and soothe your anxiety, so you can go back to waiting patiently like the good girl that you are.
Pushing the covers to the side, you slide out of bed and head down the hall to his office as thunder crackles outside. A gentle push on one of the French doors leads you into the room you rarely entered. Despite that, you liked it in here. Leon’s desk faced away from the door, towards the window that looked out onto the street. The curtains were drawn now, brown fringe overlapping with the spare cushions on the window seat below it. Some bookshelves lined the walls perpendicular to his desk, though you never had the time to actually check their contents.
You walk a few paces into the room. Your eyes cast over to him. He doesn’t even look like he’s doing much for someone working into the night, but who are you to judge? You step over a crinkle in the rug to stand in front of his desk. Your hands rest on the hardwood as you gaze at him over the monitor of his computer.
“Hi,” you say simply.
He nods. A movement so vague that he could’ve told you his head twitched, and you’d believe him.
“Whatcha doing?” you ask.
“Work.”
You stare at him for a moment. Sure, he wasn’t normally super chatty, but he also wasn’t usually so clipped. He knows.
“How’s it going?” you say.
You’re met with a shrug. You have to up your efforts.
Circling around his desk, you position yourself behind him and wrap your arms over his shoulders. You drag your nose against his cheek like an affectionate kitten and kiss the skin a few times.
“How much longer you gonna be in here?” you ask. Your voice remains gentle and undemanding.
“A while,” he grunts. The clacking of the keyboards starts up again, and his eyes remain locked on the documents in front of him.
“But you’ve been in here for hours,” you point out and feign a pout.
“And I’ll be in here for even more if you keep bothering me,” he says with a little gesture that wasn’t fully shrugging you off but at the same time was shrugging you off.
Ouch. Your pout was no longer feigned. You stand up straight and walk back to where you stood originally. He still doesn’t spare you even the smallest of glances.
“Can I stay in here with you?” you ask hesitantly.
“If you want to,” he says. Wow. Not that he wanted you to, no. If you wanted to. Sure, people could call you sensitive for being upset about that, you don’t care. You’re tempted to leave with a huff, slamming the door behind you, but now you’re even more curious if he was aware of your illicit afternoon activities. You kinda hope he is at this point because at least that would give a reason for his icy attitude.
You walk over to the one other chair in the room. Yeah, there was the window seat, but as pretty as you’d made it for him, decorating it with little throw pillows and cute coverings, it wasn’t very comfortable. You plop down on the corduroy cushioning of the beaten-up seat in the corner. with a sigh. Bringing your legs up over the armrest, you lean back against the opposite one and scan the room out of boredom. Your feet swing back and forth absentmindedly as you puff breaths of disinterest from between your lips.
You really try to give him time to finish, but it feels like he’s taking actual eternity. Also, it sounds like he’s barely doing anything, and now you are going to judge because he’s cutting into your precious personal time with him. You stare at him for several minutes, keeping your eyes locked on his face. Unlike any normal person who’d get uncomfortable, he just continues “working.” Finally, you crack.
“How’s it going?” you ask.
No response.
“Are you almost done?” you try again.
Nothing.
Your eyes darken, your frown growing. “Leonnnnn,” you whine.
And still absolutely nothing. You have one more weapon in your arsenal. If this doesn’t work, you know you’ll just have to pack it up for the night.
“Daddy…” you whimper, using the softest voice you could manage, the one that always shot right through him. You jut your bottom lip out a bit more and put that pleading in your eyes. After this, all you have is literal tears, and you’re hoping it doesn’t go to that point.
Leon knows this, and he doesn’t want it to get that far either. He finally spins his chair in your direction. His eyes land on your face. He has to repress the smirk rising to his face over your neediness.
“Funny how that name seems to always slip out most when you want something,” he replies.
At least he wasn’t ignoring you anymore. “All I want is your attention…” you say, keeping up your sweet performance.
“Oh yeah?” he taunts, “Tell me, baby. Were you thinking of daddy today when you were home alone?”
Your eyes dart away from his face, but you force them back. You couldn’t blow this by being too obvious, so you respond with a simple nod.
“I thought so, princess. What else would have had you so riled up today when I came home? It wouldn’t be because you were breaking one of your rules, would it?” he asks. His tone was obviously leading. He knew. You were so desperate for him though that at this point you were starting to think a spanking wouldn’t be that bad. At least it was some form of physical contact to sate you.
“I wasn’t riled up earlier,” you say quietly with a little shrug.
He chuckles and shakes his head. “You’re not lying are you? Cause that’s another rule. Two broken rules in one day. That wounds me, babydoll,” he says.
“I’m not breaking any rules. I’m being honest,” you say.
“So you being all squirmy, hot skin, heavy breathing; that wasn’t you being riled up? Is daddy imagining things now? Do I not know what my girl looks like when she’s aching for me?” he asks, “What she looks like when she’s been trying to solve her little problem herself?”
Finally, he unveils his reasoning. You freeze and stare at him, trying to think of what to say. Even though you wanted attention, there was still that innate part of you that hated being in trouble. You’d much rather be perched on his lap to be loved on like the precious thing you were.
“I don’t know what you mean,” is your weak attempt at an excuse. He laughs and leans back in his chair, the old springs creaking with his motion.
“Did you put your fingers inside or just play with that pretty little clit?” he asks, eyes boring into you as he goes for the kill.
“Just my clit…” you mumble and look down.
Shaking his head again, he turns back to his computer. You watch him, expecting him to start in on you again. To lecture you about your impatience. Tease you about your borderline pathetic need for him. Take you over his knee and crack you on the ass while making you repeat each of your rules back to him.
But none of this happens. Instead, this man just goes back to straight up ignoring you. Your jaw drops and a confused whine comes from your throat. “Daddy, c’mon. I’m sorry,” you say.
He resumes typing, fingers gliding over the keys and eyes fixed on the little words appearing in front of him. You groan in frustration and sink back against the brown ribbed fabric of your chair. You glare at him from your place, trying to telepathically will him into entertaining you again. You must be lacking in mental communication though because he doesn’t change what he’s doing at all. One of your thighs crosses over the other, unintentionally giving your pussy a little friction.
That’s what made this all the more frustrating, you were still unsatisfied from earlier. You should’ve just made yourself cum like you wanted. You’d be in trouble either way. You could only hope he’d take it easy on you now for having chosen the former.
Different scenarios run through your head for how you want to play this. A spectrum of possibilities lies in front of you. On one end, you could just leave. Keep whatever dignity you had left, cut your losses, and go to bed. On the other, you could be over the top. Hop in his lap and smother him with a flurry of kisses before he could object. Either one would probably only earn you more punishment, so you try to think of a middle ground. A way to continue the game.
As you think, your right hand lazily runs up and down your chest. Your middle finger coasts over the area spanning from the valley between your breasts to your navel. Taking your lip between your teeth, you decide to start here. Your fingers move to your tits and round your nipples. The buds harden into small peaks beneath your shirt. You pinch and pull at them gently, and your cunt flutters in response to the teasing. You shift your hips up before shimmying your shorts off and letting them drop to the ground beside your chair.
You reposition yourself next to sit properly in the chair. Your heels come to rest on the plush cushion as you spread your legs and expose your damp panties to him. Not that he bothered to look.
Now your fingers moved down there. They pet your most sensitive area over the thin, wet cloth. Your breath hitches as your fingertips brush over your clit. You press down a little harder and make a soft breathy whine. His eyes flit in your direction, but they don’t linger. Take what you can get, you guess.
You slide your digits back down and massage your dripping entrance. The fabric becomes more wet as you rub it on your slick folds. Your middle and ring finger move in tandem to stoke the flames down there and to ensure the fabric is completely soaked. Once that mission is accomplished, you lift your hips for the second time to remove this garment. Only you don’t drop it to the floor. This time you toss them in his direction, landing them on his desk, lace half covering one of his wrists, half covering a section of his keyboard.
The sound of typing halts, putting the room into silence, spare the raindrops splatting against the window. His eyes remain stern and not on you. Without even looking down, he wads the panties up and shoves them in his pocket. The sound of typing resumes.
“Daddy,” you huff, “I got ‘em all wet just for you.”
He still doesn’t acknowledge you. You let out a growl of sorts and narrow your eyes at him. Your fingers slip through your arousal coating your center. You pay more attention to your clit now that it’s exposed.
“I just missed you so much today. I couldn’t help it,” you reason.
You whimper and squirm in your chair as you start rubbing faster. Your eyes are still locked on him, watching for the slightest crack in his resolve. So far there are none. You continue toying with yourself.
“I was thinking of you the whole time,” you whimper, “That should count for something. I was imagining your hands and your eyes looking down at me. I was pretending I could hear your voice.”
He remains unaffected. Your head tilts back against the plush cushioning as your hips rock in place. You mewl softly which soon turns into a long, drawn-out whine. Finally, he shifts in his seat a little, and you know right away it’s cause he’s starting to get hard.
“I just love you so much, daddy. Can’t control myself when you’re not around,” you say, further chipping away at the little dent in his stoic facade.
Your moans increase in volume as does the slippery sounds coming from your fingers moving through your slick. That feeling from this afternoon is starting to come back. Pleasure builds in your abdomen, one piece stacking on top of the other. You’re shaking more, voice getting less even with each little cry of joy. He finally turns to look at you when you start doing that thing you do when you’re about to cum, the ultra-specific puff of your chest that rolls through your abdomen to your hips. His eyes capture yours, unamused with your antics.
“If you cum right now, a spanking is the only kind of attention you’ll be getting until you learn some self-control,” he tells you.
In an instant, your fingers sputter to a stop. Your mind bounces back and forth on what to do like a metronome. But as always, your craving for Leon’s approval wins out over every other option. You remove your hand from between your legs and even sit up, closing your thighs. Maybe now, he’ll see you’re being good and cut you some slack.
Yeah, right.
He goes back to his computer. Again. You’re about to lose your mind or explode, you aren’t sure which will come first. Standing from the chair, you start walking to his desk. He still didn’t look at you! How rude, you’d think that the touching yourself rule was his favorite or something even though you knew it wasn’t. That title belonged to the rule that let him pick your outfit whenever the two of you went out.
A few paces in his direction, and you’re back right where you started. Arms looped over his shoulders, nuzzling your face against his cheek, and kissing the side of his head. “I said I’m sorry daddy,” you say softly, “I’m really really really really sorry. I know I was a bad girl, but only for that.”
He grunts and scoots closer to his desk, away from your embrace. A noise of exasperation leaves you, and without thinking, you roll the chair back a couple inches and embrace him again, only tighter. A grin rises on your face when you see the bulge that had formed in his lap.
“Pretty please? I’ll take whatever punishment. I don’t want daddy to be mad at me anymore,” you plead and give him some more pecks on the cheek. You knew you probably looked ridiculous, pantless and visibly horny, but that wasn’t a true concern at this moment in time.
“Go to bed,” he states simply, “I’ll deal with you later.”
That wasn’t good enough. You wanted him now.
“Daddy,” you whine, stretching out the last syllable. You lower yourself to your knees and slink down in front of his chair. “C’mon, I said it like a million billion trillion times. Can’t we just kiss and make up?”
He stares down at you, not impressed with your show of submission. He was playing harder than usual. He knew that wouldn’t deter you though. You squish your cheek against his thighs as your hands creep up his legs.
“Do I have to make a special apology?” you ask, looking up at him with puppy eyes.
He pushes your hands away as they reach his thighs. “Quit it,” he growls, “Let me finish my work and maybe we can work something out.”
But you don’t quit it. You move yourself closer to one of his legs, preparing to put on a little show for him if need be. Your eyes don’t quit and neither does the pleading expression on your mouth.
“But I need my daddy now,” you huff, “I-”
And that’s it. You’re cut off by Leon reaching down and yanking you into his lap.
“Such a fuckin’ brat,” he grunts, “Ready to hump my leg like a bitch in heat cause I don’t give you attention for a couple hours.”
You squirm a bit as his hands rub up and down your sides and squeeze your hips. He stills you with a firm slap to your ass. Both of your eyes gaze into the others, the small spheres swirling with arousal, annoyance, and adoration.
“I just missed you. I would’ve left you alone if you weren’t so mean to me,” you point out.
“Who says I have to be nice to you? You don’t get to decide when you wanna listen based on that,” he says and pulls you to his chest. You lean in against the muscular expanse while his hand snakes between the two of you to get at his button and zipper. “Your job is being a good girl. Not just when you feel like it. Not only when daddy’s giving you kisses and calling you pretty. The only time you stop is when I say, and that didn’t happen today did it? Am I imagining things again?”
“No,” you agree reluctantly, “But I-”
“Cut your yapping out. I’ve heard enough. Give me some quiet or I’ll put those panties to good use,” he threatens.
As your lips fall shut, you hear the tug of his zipper and feel him shift as he takes himself out. Now you’re really quiet, more from anticipation than obedience.
“Now I’m gonna let you sit on my cock, but that’s it. No squirming, no ‘getting comfy,’ no whining, no ‘but daddy.’ You act up too much, and I’m truly sending your ass to bed for the night.”
You look up at him and nod, not even speaking because you didn’t want to cut your chances at dick off before they started.
“Good,” he says.
One of his hands helps elevate you so that he can position his length underneath you. The tip slips through your folds, already soaked from your prior escapades. He doesn’t tease too much, wasn’t interested in hearing you beg right now. He’d heard enough of that for tonight. He pushes you down onto it. His mouth twitches, and he sucks in a deep breath as he feels the warmth of your walls engulf his cock.
You slide all the way down with ease. Looking back at his face again, you feel the insatiable urge to give him a little kiss. If you did that though, would that be one of the things you aren’t supposed to be doing?
“Daddy… can I have a little kiss first?” you ask.
He merely shoots you a look that tells you don’t push it.
With a final look of defeat, you nestle yourself against his chest, head on his shoulder so you can look up at his face. He was so focused. If you didn’t know you were here, you never would suspect he’d be up to this level of multitasking.
You let out a sigh. It was nice being full, but you still yearned for more. You were really trying to be good though, so there wasn’t much for you to do. Minutes tick by as you try in earnest to think of a potential solution. To make matters worse, at a certain point, after you’d been on his dick for a while, his hand starts roaming your back. A soothing touch that made your walls flutter around him. He knew it would too, you could tell from that little smirk on his face.
Trying to focus on the positives, you mentally study every feature of his cock that you can feel. It’s so deep, he’s resting right against the spot that could drive you wild when properly battered. It pulsed rhythmically, twitching slightly when your muscles would contract or release around his shaft.
You’re actually doing better than expected, letting your mind wander. But then, he’s the one to move a bit under the guise of necessary readjustment. The whimper that falls from your lips is inevitable. He shushes you, and you mutter an apology, but that simple movement was enough to reignite the fire in your belly.
You bite your lip, the neediness in your eyes intensifying. “Daddy?” you whisper, testing the waters.
Nothing.
So he had gone back to this? Not if you could help it. You don’t bother speaking again. Instead, you move the tiniest bit, rolling your hips as you act like you’re shifting to alleviate a cramp. To your shock, he doesn’t say anything, just shifts his hips a bit in return.
You glance up hopefully. Maybe he was going to ease up, but he just didn’t want to verbally admit it. You move a little more, but this time, you’re a bit too zealous in your attempt. His hands grab your hips and dig into your flesh, keeping you in place.
You’re so pent up and frustrated. Your forehead thuds back onto his shoulder. “Ple-”
“What did I say?” he asks.
“But da-”
“What did I say?” he asks again and tightens his grip.
“I just wanna cum,” you whimper, “It hurts, been achy all day.”
“Oh it hurts, does it?” he mocks. He jerks your hips to give you some fleeting friction while maintaining his control. “What is it about today that’s making it so hard for you to listen?”
“I-” you start to defend yourself out of instinct but can’t actually come up with anything. “I don’t know.”
“That’s right you don’t. So quit acting like you do. You think with that slutty little pussy, and then act like you don’t need daddy to make the decisions. It’s a little disappointing, babydoll,” he scolds.
Your eyes flicker with every stage of grief as he says this. That’s literally the worst thing he could say. He could call you any name in the book and you’d brush it off with an eyeroll or a “hmph.” But disappointing? That was evil. That word could worm its way into your heart and weigh on you for days.
“I’m sorry,” you say quickly in a desperate attempt to remedy, “I just… I’m so pent up. Can’t think with my head when my pussy keeps distracting me.”
“Oh, poor baby,” he mocks with a chuckle and a shake of his head.
“That’s why I have to cum,” you plead, “I need it. It’s not even the same when I do it. I should’ve just waited. I’m sorry.”
“You need it?” he repeats, “So fuckin’ spoiled. I give you some dick even when you don’t deserve it, and it’s still not enough. I gotta train some gratitude into you next.”
“You’re the one who spoils me,” you pout.
“Oh, so it’s all my fault? So you’re saying I shouldn’t be so easy on you, huh?” he challenges.
You shake your head as fast as humanly possible, now set on backtracking your fuck up. But it was too late. “No, I was just sayi-” you start before he cuts you off yet again.
“And just when I was about to start fucking you too? That’s a damn shame,” he says.
Your eyes widen, and you shake your head more. This had gone from a slight improvement to a downward spiral.
“I mean, why would I bother now? All you care about is getting to cum. Don’t care about all the work daddy puts in to make you feel good the entire time,” he taunts, “If that’s the case, then go ahead. Cum. Take what you want, but don’t you dare move those hips.”
Your look of anguish evolves into that of confusion. You don’t really want to question him right now, but you’re unsure of how you’re supposed to follow that command. “I can’t…” you say softly.
“Why not?” he asks.
“Not enough,” you answer.
“Then make it enough,” he growls, “You were having so much fun today with those fingers. They don’t work anymore?”
Oh. Your face feels hot as the realization dawns on you. You shyly bring your hand to your center and awkwardly fumble with your clit. You look at him, silently begging to ride him.
“You can do better than that,” he responds, “You were putting on such a show earlier, so don’t act like you need my help all the sudden.”
Shamefully, your fingers pick up some speed. You whimper as the pads of your digits rub over a sensitive spot. The whole time he’s still inside you. It felt kind of weird, but still good. You weren’t going to complain. Your upper body twitches a bit, but he holds you straight up, making sure you're looking at him while you work.
“That’s it. How’s it feeling, baby? Is it as good as when daddy does it?” he taunts.
“No…” you whimper, “It’s ok.”
“Aw, well, it’s gonna have to be good enough for now because it’s the only way you’re cumming.”
You groan and whine at the statement. It was the truth, but that didn’t mean you wanted to hear it. You start circling faster and flicking your hand with more urgency. Your head falls back at the sensations as a breathy moan floats from your lips. He squeezes your hips again as you tighten around his cock from the euphoria you brought yourself.
“Look at that. Think you’re gonna be able to cum all by yourself?” he teases.
You nod. Your hips rock involuntarily as the pleasure ramps up, but his grip keeps you stationary. Little gasps like the ones from earlier when you were in the chair escape you. Your fingers move almost like they’re automated.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck. Please can I finish?” you whimper, “Wanna cum so bad, daddy, please?”
“I already gave you permission, baby. Guess you really wanna show me how good you actually are,” he chuckles.
You can’t even say anything back before the switch flips inside you and release tears through you. Your back stiffens up and a strangled rope of moans come out of you. Your hips jerk harder than before, giving you brief brushes with the head of his cock. He sighs contentedly as you flutter around his cock and provide him with a muted sense of bliss.
You’re still riding it out when his hands are no longer just holding you, but rather, beginning to bounce you. You feel it in your cunt before your brain even catches up with the general motion of your body. It’s because you’re still so sensitive. The tingly stab pulling a quiet shriek from you.
“Daddy, gimme a break,” you whine.
“What? Daddy doesn’t deserve to finish too? Is that what you think? You just get to have your fun, and leave me to deal with it. That’s not how it works, princess,” he says.
“I’m not- I didn’t… I just can’t… it’s too much,” you struggle to get out between the whimpers coming from you. He keeps bouncing you, groaning as that hushed ecstasy blossoms into an encompassing euphoria. The noises of him sliding in and out are nearly louder than all the whining and moaning you’re doing.
“You can take it,” he grunts, “I’ll say when you’ve had enough.”
You cry out in a mix of pleasure and pain as his hips start to meet your hips guided by his hands. A deep groan rumbles in his chest as your cunt’s constant contracting massages his length. After a while, it feels like you’re almost numb down there. The fire still rages in your belly, but your actual pussy has been beaten into submission by your boyfriend’s cock. He watches your face as he moves you, relishing the way your eyes are getting glossy with a cocktail of tears, both of overstimulation and relief.
“So pretty for me, sweetheart. Gonna be even prettier when you cum again all over my dick and milk me dry,” he grunts.
“Uh huh,” you moan without thinking, head wildly falling back and forth in what’s supposed to be a nod.
Soon enough, his chest and belly are tightening up. He knows the end is near and pistons into your cunt extra hard for the finale. You wail and grip his biceps for support as you explode. You didn’t ask to cum this time, but being so close to his own release, he couldn’t really find it to care.
He keeps going through your orgasm, practically making you sob in pleasure. You feel impossibly tight, warm, and wet. And when he sees how your precious face is getting tight too, scrunching up as you reach the peak of the peak, he can’t hold it off.
His fingers dig into your hips so hard that you feel like the future bruises are already there. Your eyes are rolled back in advance as he fires his cum deep inside you. A goofy smile graces his features as he pumps it in, enjoying the waves of pleasure that wash over him throughout. And the whole time you’re pulsing away through your own release.
You look even dumber than he does, silly smile not just on your lips, but visible in your eyes too. You’re whimpering, extra whiny and a higher pitch. He rubs your skin to remind you he’s right there. He can see your head coming back to reality as the whirlpool of ecstasy subsides.
“Oh that’s it, there’s my good girl,” he coos as you finally reach the end of the high. His hand rubs your back in long, even strokes. “So proud of you, sunshine.”
A dreamy, self-satisfied grin comes across your face. His words were the best drugs while you were in this state, and the tone of his voice only made them that much more addictive.
“Such a good girl,” he repeats, “Now how ‘bout you give daddy a kiss.”
Eagerly you boost yourself towards his lips to connect in a hazy smooch. You’re a bit sloppy with it, but he expected that and found it cute. Of course you were dizzy. He just fucked you stupid. Once you pull away, he strokes your hair and smiles at your blissed out face.
“Aw, cutie. Looks like it’s time for you to head to bed,” he says as his fingers move to rub your cheek.
“You too. I wanna cuddle,” you say, locking your arms around him.
“Mhm, I’ll be right behind you. I gotta finish up the last of this. Now that I don’t have you distracting me, it should only take about fifteen minutes,” he teases.
“That’s like a million years, and I already had to wait all day,” you sigh dramatically.
“Then I’m sure you can handle a few more minutes,” he says and rubs his nose against yours, “Don’t start getting mouthy with me, little love. I still have those panties I can easily turn into a gag.”
With a playful glare, you get up on wobbly legs to make your exit, dizzy smile still plastered on your face. You start to stumble to the door when he calls out to you.
“Wow princess, not even going to say good night to daddy? I expected better from my baby,” he chides teasingly.
You roll your eyes while smiling and return to him to smack one final big kiss on his lips. “Night daddy,” you say with a small giggle.
He smirks at your clear happiness. As you turn to leave, he swats your ass. “I’ll be right there. Bet you’ll already be passed out by the time I get there,” he says as his fingers start working the keyboard again.
“I’ll be dreaming of you though,” you tease before going out the doors and down the hall to your bed.
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