#this is such a shit starter but it'll get Better

[menagerofmischief]

Dia's Diner (closed)

diner is closed for catch up as I have too many unwritten orders, it'll be back start of january 2025

Welcome to Dia's Diner, here you'll be able to order your meal (fic) with as many specifications and dishes as you want. We hope you leave satisfied ;)

first step is choosing who you want your fic to be about, so pick a server (you can even pick two)

SERVERS:

Max Verstappen

Charles Leclerc

Carlos Sainz Jr.

Lewis Hamilton 

George Russel

Lando Norris

Oscar Piastri

Daniel Riccardo

Alex Albon

Fernando Alonso

Franco Collapinto 

Pierre Gasly

Esteban Ocon

Lance Stroll

Ollie Bearman

Kimi Antonelli

Mick Schumacher

Arthur Leclerc

Sebastian Vettel

Mark Webber

Jenson Button

Nico Rosberg

Toto Wolff

every good meal starts with an appetizer, by choosing your appetizer you're setting the main trope of the fic

STARTERS:

charcuterie board (dating)

artichoke dip (brother’s friend)

olives and cheese (friends to lovers)

stuffed cherry tomatoes (sugar daddy)

hummus nachos (teammates)

shrimp cocktail (rivals to lovers)

and how you want it served

HOT OR COLD: 

hot appetizer (sweet sex) 

cold appetizer (rought sex) 

now it's time to order the main dish, feel free to choose as many as you want

MAINS:

lobster (“I love watching my cum leak out from your pussy”)

caviar and oysters (“Gonna look so good full of my babies”)

fish and chips (“Where are your manners?”)

steak (“Made just for me. My pretty little cocksleeve”)

burger and fries (“Hurts? That’s too bad baby, should have thought about it before being such a slut”)

buffalo wings (“Count them for me”)

ramen (“What would your brother think if he saw us?”)

gyros (“Gonna fill you up”)

full english (“My pretty little slut”)

pizza (“My good girl”)

pesto pasta (“Slow down, you just told me to speed up. What’s it gonna be silly girl?”)

carbonara (“Look so good on my cock”)

sausage rolls (“I’ll make it fit”)

sushi (“Better quiet down, you don’t want them to hear us.)

tacos (“I’m gonna give you an attitude check”)

chicken quesadilla (“So pretty with my cock down your throat”)

crab cakes (“Yeah, gonna swallow like a good girl?”)

chicken nuggets (“Couldn’t help being a brat, could you?”)

kimchi (“Be a good girl and take it”)

tomato soup (“Running away from my dick? I don’t think so.”)

cheese fries (“I love making you squirt”)

stuffed potato (“Just where you belong … on your knees for me”)

sarma (“Gonna put a baby in you”)

moussaka (“You look your best covered in my cum”)

caesar salad (“Lie to me again and you’re not gonna like what happens next”)

chicken skewer (“Be a good girl and cum for me”)

mac and cheese (“Only good girls get to cum”)

mango sticky rice (“Next time you try that shit I’ll make him watch while I fuck you”)

chicken fingers (“Yeah, you like being filled in both ends like a slut”)

butter chicken rice (“If you want it then you better beg for it”)

eggs and bacon ("Are you gonna stop moving or am I gonna hold you down?")

spring rolls ("All you do is complain, perhaps I should shut you up")

sloppy joe ("You have the prettiest mouth. Why don't you put it to good use?")

kebab ("Look at that my cock is splitting you in half")

grilled cheese ("I buy you nice things and then I get to fuck you in them. Sounds fair to me")

pot roast ("You going to let me take my anger out on you, sweetheart?")

chili ("Look at you humping my thigh like a bitch in heat")

california rolls ("Scream my name - I want everyone to know who's making you feel this good)

PB&J ("Look at him while I make you cum")

dumplings ("Ride this cock - it's your cock")

black pudding ("There we good, you're such a good girl, taking you punishment so well")

smoked salmon ("My good girl deserves a reward")

fish tacos ("Just lie back and let me take care of you")

seafood boil ("Maybe I'll make a mix tape of your moans to listen to while I drive")

spaghetti with meatballs ("Why don't you put on that pretty little set I bought for you?")

veggie burger ("Feel how hard you make me")

hot dog ("Thought about you while touching myself. The real things is much better")

ratatouille ("I'll mark you up so much no man will dare talk to you again")

bacon pancakes ("I love when you wear dresses. It's so easy to flip it up and fuck you")

chicken alfredo ("You haven't been very good, have you? And you know what happens to bad girls")

avocado toast ("Look at you all dumb and crying on my cock")

lasagna ("Where did all that cockiness go now that it's time to take your punishment?)

gnocchi ("You like when I treat you like a toy, don't you?)

mashed potatoes and gravy ("You had no problem getting fucked in here like a slut. Then you should have no problem walking out there with my cum dripping down your legs")

having a drink with your dish really elevates the experience, drinks represent different kinks

DRINKS:

ice tea (oral giving/receiving)

sweet tea (morning sex)

mint tea (body worship giving/receiving)

redbull (filming sex)

vodka redbull (squirting)

white claw (pegging)

white wine (sir kink)

red wine (daddy kink)

rose (spanking)

champagne (threesome)

old fashioned (drunk sex)

whiskey (double penetration)

mai thai (mirror sex)

cosmopolitan (temperature play)

beer (bondage)

root beer (blindfold)

apple cider (spitting)

apple juice (edging)

orange juice (overstimulation)

pineapple juice (wax play)

boba (anal)

smoothie (hickeys)

matcha (toys)

vanilla milkshake (nipple play)

hot chocolate (dry humping)

chocolate milk (thigh riding)

espresso (dom/sub)

black coffee (chocking)

mocha coffee (degradation)

pumpkin spice latte (losing virginity)

fanta (size kink)

coca-cola (somnophillia)

coke zero (free use)

pepsi (car sex)

lemonade (public sex)

strawberry lemonade (breeding)

coconut water (jealous sex)

sparkling water (phone sex)

iced water (dirty talk)

to end the night you might consider getting a dessert, in this case dessert is aftercare

DESSERT: 

yes (aftercare included) 

no (aftercare not included)

special instructions: tell me your favorite track/race at the end of your request and I'll throw you in a freebie on the house that goes best with your order

Thank you for visiting! Here at Dia's Diner your pleasure is our priority, so be on the look out for new additions to our menu. Come back again.

A/N: I'm so grateful for each and every one of your requests, but I just ask that you be patient about waiting for it since I don't have much free time because of school.

[pb5-a35]

Exhibition vs Fort Hayes thoughts

this is all with a grain of salt bc it was fort hayes and we looked like shit the first quarter and every time p sat down but we're back!!

PAIGE FUCKING BUECKERS IS UNREAL!! my efficient queen always gonna do a little bit of everything. loved her aggressiveness think it'll be even better in real/big games. her rebounding like she did the in the tournament too I PRAYED FOR THIS LAST SEASON!! if you wanna say you're 6'0 your ass better be grabbing those lol. her defense (which i've said is one of if not my fav part of her game)!!

so glad we have kaitlyn we need experience on a roster of young players and her defense was really good

MY YEEHAW COUNTRY QUEEN!! aggressive as hell she was working this summer. she was cooking

sarah is gonna be just fine and im so glad she's a husky. she works on defense and grabs rebounds and her shot is so pure they'll start falling way more. she looked a lot better as the game went on

janaaaa im so happy for her and shes def over aggressive and over helps, but she's so exited to play and i appreciate it! she's gonna get better with time just needs to slow down and work on timing. also need some set plays for her bc the turnovers trying to get the ball to her down low....

ice baby we got so many shooters lets leave that to them and you stay under the basket to get the rebounds and bunnies you don't need to be shooting threes

ALLIE a shooter!! when she gets hot it's gonna be scaryyyyy

the first quarter was so messy but the shooters got hot in the second and that was the end of it

watching the new players get progressively more comfortable and settle into play as the game went on was really nice, but as has been the story her entire uconn career, paige is the leader and will have to carry them until they get more experience especially in the big games

the bigs all in foul trouble....yeah let's relax

see yall thursday for boston!! grandpa will probs use the same starters but he should put jana in for ice

[genericpuff]

Do you think Rachel can evolve in her writing and art in possible future projects?

As much as I talk shit about her work here, I do hope that she moves on to better things after, yeah. I think getting away from WT would do a load of good for starters, though I do hold Rachel responsible for a lot of the 'creative' decisions in the story that are indicative of her being just a poor writer, there are certainly a lot of things that can be pinned on Webtoons as well, such as the deadlines and panel requirements they enforce that don't allow anyone to have the room they need to breathe and plan ahead.

I'm not planning on following any of Rachel's work after LO, not just because of how bad LO turned out, but also because I just don't think it would be in good spirit to do so. When I started reading LO, I loved it, and I hadn't seen the issues in it yet because many of its issues were still hidden by the potential that it had. When that potential fell through, I saw the cracks more and realized that Rachel just... didn't have it in her to write the story that was promised. So now, knowing how badly LO turned out, it just wouldn't feel right for me to read her future projects because I would be going into it with that bad taste still in my mouth, and that wouldn't be fair to her or myself. I never set out to read stories with the intent of hating them right off the bat and that goes for any of Rachel's future projects as well.

If I do ever read her work in the future, it'll be after a lot of time has passed and only if improvement in her writing and art has become evident enough that it's worth checking out. I don't think she can find that improvement working for WT's, or with the attitude that she seems to have towards criticism and holding herself accountable to doing better.

If she does evolve and improve in her art and writing, great. I may not read whatever projects she has planned for down the road, but I hope they improve and do better so that her legacy doesn't begin and end with LO. I don't think anyone deserves to be known for one project forever (unless they explicitly want to), regardless of whether they were good or bad, because every artist and writer is so much more than a single piece of work.

And hey, if Adam Ellis can turn his career around from being known as the daily laughing stock of /r/ComedyCemetery to being known for his fascinating horror comics and creepypastas and legitimately funny comedy strips, then I don't think it would be impossible for Rachel to turn her work and reputation around, either. The potential is always there - she just has to take hold of it and learn how to move forward with it.

[candyredmusings]

Bioshock Splicer Starters

Assortment of dialogue taken from the a from two types of Splicers in the first Bioshock game; Baby Jane and the Breadwinner

Other Bioshock Splicer starters: TBA [Dr. Grossman & Lady Smith] [Pigskin & Rosebud] [Toasty & Waders]

Baby Jane

Get away from my face! Not on my face!"

"Oh! Oh, God damn it!"

"Look at yourself! And you would do it too!"

"Talentless?! BORING?!"

"You don't deserve this!"

"I'm a star, not you!"

"You're jealous, jealous!"

"Why did you cut me?! Why?!"

"You did this to me! You!"

"I deserve it, you fuck!"

"Give me the part, you bastard!"

"Off. My. Stage! GET OFF!"

"Stop ogling me!"

"You're making me lose my place! STOP IT!"

"No, it's not perfect, AGAIN!"

"He's standing in the wrong place!"

"Get your FAT. HANDS. AWAY FROM ME!"

"Just say something, goddammit!"

"What's that? Is it him?!"

"I smell something nasty."

"Is that someone naughty?"

"Honey? Is that you…?"

"I heard that!"

"It hurts, it hurts…"

"Why did you…?"

"I'm sorry… We can do it together!"

"DARLING! I'M HOME EARLY!"

"I don't- I don't wanna- I don't wanna hear this… I- [Whimpering] I don't want to hear this…"

"Pretend you're not interested. They like that."

"Have it your way, you sleaze!"

"Well, that was good drama."

"Get a girl all bothered… for NOTHIN'!"

"That gets a girl's blood flowing."

"I'll be better next time! Please?! Don't go!"

"When we do meet, it's gonna be so nasty!"

"He's gone! They always leave…"

"When I murder you I'm gonna put your body in a dress!"

"My god, there's so much blood!"

"Aw, Jesus, what did you do to me?!"

"I'm NOT. DEALING WITH THIS!"

"No… No No No. Wha- What's- What's that? Oh, no no, no…"

"In the theater, a woman gets used to attention."

"She was up for the part as well, but then they found her in a salt pond."

"I was gonna be famous… now look at this dump!"

"Who needs to make it on Broadway? When you can make it here."

"What's the matter with me…? I'm pretty enough!"

"Hey fella'! Don't 'cha wanna take a walk with me?"

"Come on, baby! You told me you was gonna take care of me! Were you lying…?"

"I used to be beautiful. What happened to me?!"

"Why are you making this so hard for me?!"

"C'mere and say that to my face, you slimey bastard!"

"You wanna play with me?"

"Hello? Did you come to talk to me?"

"I can be nice if I want to…"

"Next time, work on your timing."

"Oh, and we were just getting to the best bit!"

"Tell me you love me! Go on, say it!"

"Just pretend, you imbecile!"

"You ruined me!"

"No one touches me! No one!"

"You won't touch me again!"

"Someone shou- should do this for me, someone should be doing this for me!"

Breadwinner

"Get out of my territory!"

"Amateur! Fuckin' amateur!"

"I'm top dog, you shit!"

"GET OUTA MY FUCKIN' OFFICE!"

"You come to my town?! To MY TOWN?!"

"You're a nobody! Nobody!"

"Who the hell is that?"

"Yeah? Well, you're fired! Ya got that?"

"I was right, I tell ya. I was right, god damn it."

"Come on. Gimme a break!"

"Come on. Just let me explain, will ya?"

 "I'm too busy for this shit."

"Waste of my goddamn time."

"This isn't makin' me time OR money!"

"Goddammit, I'm bleeding!"

"Ahh. Ahh yeah, finally some service! Woo!"

"What happened to this thing?"

"Ha, it's my lucky day!"

"She should not have come here."

"Ah, a man can start a business down here, yeah. Now now, it's- it's not too late. I'll get to it."

"It's just a bad quarter. Naw, that's all. Yeah, market'll come back, huh? Yeah! Everything'll be fine. Yeah, it'll all be fine… Augh."

"I just gotta wait out the down cycle. I'm a success… I'm a fuckin' success!"

"I ain't afraid of failure… cause I ain'ts gonna fail!"

"These assholes don't get it. I'm a winner!"

"Came here to get rich… ain't gonna leave 'till I do!"

"Came down here with a dream… That dream's gonna happen."

"Aw, come on… they're gonna kill me if I lose you!"

"That's it? We're done?"

"You think that I'm dumb? Sure, sure, why not? You keep on thinkin' that."

"You think I wouldn't notice if you just waltzed in here? Huh?"

"I'll tell you what: I'll pay you to stay alive next time. How's that for a deal, you shit head."

"I earned this! Me!"

"You give it to me, you hear?"

"Just open your mouth."

"Ah, whose fault is this?"

"Look at this dump! Nothing left but nothing!"

[arpmemething2]

The Last of Us sentence starters

Taken from both the TV show and all video games. Send one for my muse's response. Feel free to change pronouns as needed.

"I've struggled a long time with survivin', but no matter what you have to find something to fight for"

“So you went from teacher to preacher; because what? It fuckin' rhymes?”

“You can't stop this.”

"You live in a broken world that you could have saved."

"That is... a hat on a dinosaur."

"There are a million ways we should’ve died before today, and a million ways we can die before tomorrow."

“Fuck Seattle.”

“But she gets to live...”

"I would do it all over again."

"That's gotta be hard. Leaving all of your stuff behind like that."

"Now get the fuck out of my town."

"We let you both live and you wasted it."

"To the edge of the universe and back, endure and survive..."

"It's called luck and it's gonna to run out."

"Everyone I have cared for has either died, or left me. Everyone ... fucking except for you! So don't tell me that I would be safer with someone else, because the truth is I would just be more scared."

"The only people who betray us are the ones we trust."

“Hello? Anyone? Cure for mankind here!”

"I don't ever want to see your goddamn face again."

“I can make it quick or I can make it so much worse.”

"I was never afraid before you showed up"

"I walked in to my sister's room and slipped on her bra. It was a booby trap."

"After years of wandering in circles, we’re about to come home, make a difference, and bring the human race back into control of its own destiny."

"It wasn't time that did it."

"Every bad feeling… Your palms sweating, your heart racing… They're all signs you're actually stronger."

"Light on the reading, but it has some good photos."

"That was lame. You're lame."

"Those were your fucking people!"

"Go. Just take him."

"Well, here's your chance to bring your kid into a better world."

"Hearing them talk, it's good to know they're scared of you."

"A bad reputation doesn't mean you're bad."

"I was supposed to die in that hospital."

"I swear."

"Endure and survive."

"If I were ever to lose you, I'd surely lose myself."

"I mean it's why you took off on me, right? To make up for the things we did."

“I'm just a girl. Not a threat.”

"You'd just after her."

"You have no idea what loss is."

"If you lie to me one more time, I'm gone."

"I'm sorry for getting older faster than you."

"Our luck had to run out sooner or later."

"I had a sixty-foot yacht."

"We're not murderers. We just survive."

"I guess you can't outrun your past"

"You mattered to me first."

"Okay, one more. What do you get when you cross an angry sheep and a mad cow? An animal that's in a baaaa-ad mooooo-ood."

"Well, maybe in all that research they turned into fucking monkeys."

"Once upon a time, I had somebody that I cared about. It was a partner. Somebody I had to look after. And in this world, that sort of shit's good for one thing: Gettin' ya killed."

"Bomb this city and everyone in it."

"Why are these pages stuck together?"

"It doesn't matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery."

"I got you."

"No, fuck you! You handcuffed me!"

"I dreamt about flying the other night."

"I've lost something. I'm failing in my sleep."

"I think they should be terrified of you."

"All the promises at sundown. I meant them like the rest."

"Think I'd let you do this on your own?"

"And just so we’re clear about back there, it was either him or me "

"Lets wait it out. You know we....we can be all poetic and lose our minds together."

"So... why don't you fix one these cars?"

"People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow... Too soon."

“Maybe you should have.”

“You took that from me.”

"What is the downside to eating a clock?"

"Holy moly. I guess this is what these buildings look like up close. They're so damn tall! So, what happened here?"

"You think I can still handle things, but I'm not who I was."

"I believe that everything happens for a reason."

"Why don't you say whatever speech you have rehearsed and get this over with."

"Just one peaceful night; a clean conscience…all gone…"

"Drugs. I see hardcore drugs."

"Let's see, scorpions are pretty creepy. Ummm, being by myself. I'm scared of ending up alone. What about you?"

"I don't want to be a burden."

"I don't want to lose you."

"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe, you idiot!"

"I'll make her pay."

"I'm gonna find... and I'm gonna kill... every last one of them."

"My friends' problem are my problems."

“It's called a hatosaur.”

"I got one for you. What's the quietest animal on a farm? A Shhhhhh-eeep. When you're older, you're going to have a deep appreciation for these jokes."

"Save who you can."

"I worry. Just... let me see her. Please."

"Whoa! How the - how the hell would you even walk around with that thing?"

"Arby's didn't give free lunches."

"You're such an asshole!"

"You're lucky you're still drawing breath! That was plan A, B, all the way to fucking Z!"

"I don't think I can ever forgive you for that."

"You don't think he got what he deserved?"

"Well, you're a burden now, aren't you?"

"We lose"

“’80s means trouble. Code broken.”

"Yeah, well try not to let your guard down."

"After all we've been through. Everything that I've done. It can't be for nothing."

"That ain't the hard part."

"We did those things. And they weren't things. We murdered people."

"What you say goes."

"We've got a family now. She doesn't get to be more important than that."

[thwardengates]

woah uh. i forgot i had this blog but i did more doodles of the au. which is also bein dubbed the peace in chaos au (picau/pcau for short) just for the sake of my sanity cause otherwise I'll never actually name it

au rambles/shenanigans below cut

uhh if it werent obvious it takes place somewhat during the Forces area? but the story is rewritten a lil bit. I'll b talkin ab chaos energy later on probably. only thing u need to know is I'm takin slight inspo from werehog sonic n fleetway super sonic ^_^ at least for overloaded amounts of chaos energy. there's a whole thing I'll elaborate more on it later in a separate post.

For starters, Shadow is a lil more involved in the story, and rescues Tails a lot earlier on (he spotted Tails nearly getting attacked when out on a patrol/scouting mission, and saved him). He ends up sticking w Tails for the 6 months that Sonic's in captivity because he saved Tails fairly early on after Sonic was captured. He essentially became an unofficial guardian for him, simply because Tails could help repair Omega + shadow could keep him outta danger. more on that later

Rouge still works w both the resistance and team dark, but she gives shadow information she gathers before she gives it to the resistance, due to his request. some work is better suited for different parties so she'll sort thru that on her own too. she's mostly an organizer

characters from SATAM & AOSTH are also gonna be here ^_^ I've only figured out places for Nicole and Sally, and I won't be using archie comic designs for any of the characters in this au simply for my own comfort (I don't rlly have an issue w the comics I just wld prefer to use my own material). a lot of characters may not make it in the full vers or a lot of story is gonna be rewritten, but that'll come on its own time

The characters will get full infosheets later, but it'll take me time because I'm also busy with real life, so atm I only have doodles to offer you. the au is gonna be centric on tails + sonadow but there'll be aspects of other things n ships later i just won't be gettin to it atm

I'm painfully unaware of how to write shit on tumblr so forgive me 🫶 pls feel free to send questions either if it intrigues u bc i do better answering specific things than looking at the general picture

[spunsugarmusings]

Young Frankenstein: The Musical Starter Sentences

Starters from the Mel Brookes' hit musical Young Frankenstein. Change pronouns and tenses as necessary, and enjoy!

"What happened in that castle made our lives a living Hell!"

"We're the happiest town in town!"

"Hold the happiness!"

"Please, do I look like the kind of madman who'd prowl around graveyards, digging up freshly buried corpses?"

"I don't indulge in hijinks or tomfoolery!"

"I live for truth and reason, that's the reason I exist!"

"Hearts and lungs are simply tinker toys when stacked against the brain!"

"His reflexes have no freedom to react when I mistreat him."

"Those naughty thoughts are fine with me as long as they stay locked away in your imagination."

"You can savage me and ravage me; I care not what you do."

"Oh everybody look! How unique. They're not touching."

"Please keep your hands off these."

"It'll be like old time, you and me, right up there with the world's greatest pairs!"

"We've only met in a dream!"

"Up until now it's been the worst time, but now that you're here, we're a team!"

"What good is a stooge if he ain't got a boss?"

"I'm very high spirited, doctor. I hope you won't hold it against me."

"So, have you thought of any ways you could use me?"

"Nothing's better than a hayride, underneath the sun."

"There! There wolves!"

"There wolves, there castle!"

"Don't risk my curse, it could be worse!"

"Join the family business, learn the family trade!"

"Make yourself a monster, and make the world afraid!"

"Follow in our footsteps and you'll earn eternal fame!"

"As you know, predestination, from the day of your creation has determined you vocation, that's a fact!"

"Just relax, create a serum; come up with a brilliant theorum!"

"This is one position that you never can decline!"

"Love dances in on a whim."

"He was a bully and a brute, he was as crazy as a coot!"

"He was my boyfriend!"

"He always treated me like dirt!"

"But I was happy to be hurt!"

"I was an innocent young lamb, and he was a dirty old goat."

"He was the one I gave my heart to, but we were never wed, even so."

"If I'd mention wedlock, he put me in a headlock!"

"When I asked to be his wife, he stabbed me with a kitchen knife!"

"Where did all the good times go?!"

"If he had an angry fit, I was the first thing that he hit! But I didn't give a shit!"

"So, now we hurl the gauntlet of science into the frightful face of death itself."

"Death has ruled without question."

"Tear the night asunder, cast your light upon the dark!"

"Give my creature life!"

"We're considered both a Death and a Tourist Trap."

"Rich and poor are all soft-shoeing it in hotels or huts!"

"Even dogs are also doing it, pedigrees and mutts!"

"Do the Transylvania Mania!"

"Catch the monster before he strikes again!"

"Hello heartaches, goodbye kvellings."

"Let's forget about thinking, thinking's never smart."

"Flush your brain right down the drain, and listen to your heart!"

"Lose your mind, 'cause love is blind, and listen to your heart!"

"You'll find such bliss in the kissin' you're missin'."

"Intellectuals are ineffectuals when it comes to making love."

"Don't resist cupid's dart."

"Everybody loves to get a surprise."

"It all can change, if your fates arrange a nice surprise for you."

"There’s nothing like a wonderful surprise!"

"Here’s what we advise, never bother people with a surprise!"

"It's been so long since I felt the touch of someone's hand."

"Oh, Lord, let's face it, we're talkin' LONELY here!"

"You don't know your left from your right."

"You'll be the greatest creation of man since the invention of fire!"

"You'll be cheered, never feared evermore!"

"You know, until now my life has been nothing but a meaningless world of silly parties."

"Again? Oh, you're incouragable, aren't you?"

"We will take a hay ride when we're on our honeymoon!"

"Even monsters fall in love!"

[qballqueue]

Bloomburrow's story is good

Having just binged the audio version of the Bloomburrow story, I can say with genuine surprise that I actually enjoyed it a lot??? I'm stunned, legitimately, that it actually delivered.

For context, I'm not an avid reader of the Magic story. It had been so reinforced from community consensus--as well as my own experience--that the story for each set was largely lacklustre, existing mostly so people could see what their favourite blorbos were up to instead of actual entertainment, that I hardly bothered reading them and stuck to story recaps on Youtube. It had always seemed to be a better use of my time.

This was echoed by my reading of the Thunder Junction story. I loved the idea of Magic Cowboys, so I actually dove in to read this one as it was being released, and it was meh at best. It was a story where most of the characters were reappearing ones instead of new, almost none of whom felt they had any reason or motivation for wanting to be there. And the climax largely centred on a cliffhanger, which left a lot of narrative tension feeling unresolved.

(For the record, absolutely no shade thrown towards author of the OTJ story articles, Akemi Dawn Bowman. I found the actually writing to be enjoyable, and I'm 80% sure most of my issues with the narrative were mandated to be there)

I went into Bloomburrow expecting more of the same, honestly. I only really started it because I needed something to listen to, but, like, holy shit. We have a mostly original cast that's simple but fun. We have a plot that's almost entirely self-contained, with no larger narrative implications so it's just allowed to be itself. We actually only have one reappearing character who joins in on the current story instead of taking it over. It's just a short, pleasant ride you can finish in an afternoon.

I do have some issues. For starters, the prophecy that happens at the end felt like a shoe-horned in way to remind people that there's supposed to be an over-arching plot. I do prefer it to the 'something interesting is going to happen soon, we promise' form of storytelling longer narratives often fall prey to, which MtG's story often does, but I would just as soon do without an over-arching story at all if I'm being honest.

The pacing also felt a bit rushed. By the time we get to chapter five, it feels like we're only at the middle of the story, but then the antagonist's introduction, their explanation, a couple climatic battles, and the ending happen all at once. It felt like I had skipped something, but this feels more like an issue with WotC only allowing five chapters per set and one set per plane.

Speaking of which, if the quality of the Bloomburrow story is doing anything, it's highlighting how shitty it is that each plane only gets one set worth of story before we have to leave again. I liked the story, so it's a shame that as soon as the set arrives it'll be gone for a while; WotC almost assuredly has the next year-or-so's worth of sets planned out already, so if there ever is more Bloomburrow story it'll be way in the future, and not because someone decided to put faith in it--it'll be because it proved profitable enough for a revisit.

So, yeah. You know the drill: artistic integrity good, capitalism bad, etc., etc.. But I will say that I think these story articles are worth a look. Kudos to the author, Valerie Valdes, and the entire story team.

[willbeck]

to walter white, indeed. (walter white x GN! reader)

notes: gen-rated, 2nd person narration, pov: you're his bartender (and therapist), takes place during s5e15 - granite state

words: 1981

also available on ao3.

It was just like any other day in your average life, work was the same and tiring as usual until you started noticing a stranger slowly strolling into your bar. Something about the way he carried himself - His long and confident, yet somehow defeated looking strides aimed towards you, piqued your interest in the man. You had only just finished attending to one of your customers, serving them with a forced smile as you mentally prepared yourself to deal with the next patron. After all, work was never easy. The previous night, someone had puked all over the place and you ended up spending an extra hour cleaning the place up before closing. And what's worse, was that the manager didn't even pay you for overtime. 

One, full hour of life that you can never get back. 

However, those thoughts didn't last long as your attention was quickly snapped back towards the newcomer. His hair was tousled up like a bird’s nest, and maintained an unkempt beard, almost as if he hadn't shaved in months. His clothes looked rough and had multiple dirty patches all over its fabrics, reminiscent of your homeless regulars who frequented your bar during late nights. Lingering your gaze onto him, you observed his mannerisms - His bluish green eyes darkening, his body slightly slouched, and his shoes were dragged across the floor as he walked. In other words, he was barely keeping himself together. 

And… He looked like shit. 

Whatever had happened to this man, you didn’t know. But you did see him using the payphone outside a few minutes ago, his face initially desperate and panic-stricken, was now reduced to a blank canvas. You couldn’t read what was on his mind, aside from the fact that he wants a drink from you right now. 

He looks over to you, catching your gaze as he makes himself comfortable, placing himself onto the bar stool. 

“One Dimple Pinch. Neat.”

You nod and manage a smile, hoping that it'll at least cheer him up a little. “You got it.” 

As you turned your back to him to retrieve his bottle from the drink cabinet, you couldn't help but think about the drink he was ordering. He had decided to order a Dimple Pinch neat, which wasn’t exactly the best recommendation to drink in your personal opinion. You supposed he probably couldn’t afford an aged Dimple Pinch. Still, you'd known better than to judge a book by its cover throughout your years of bartending experience. For what you may know, this guy could be a rich man in disguise. Where his money came from, hard-earned or not to get this drink, was for him to know and for you to find out. 

After pouring his drink, he slowly takes the glass from you, muttering a soft “Thank you.”

“You're welcome.” You replied. 

A sad smile forms on his face as he silently nods, taking a sip from his glass. 

For a while, the two of you were at the counter, letting the quietness take over, save for the noise made by the television running in the background. There weren't any new customers coming in, so you didn't really have anything to do either. 

A million questions popped into your head as you grew more curious of this man. In a way, he was attractive to you, ignoring the messy hair that covered most of his distinctive and appealing features. Though, that didn't stop you from wanting to initiate a conversation with this man. 

“So uh… Cold weather these days, huh?”

God, you're so fucking stupid. 

Of all of the topics you could've talked about, you decided that the number one popular conversation starter would be about the weather. 

You had expected the man to ignore you, but instead, you saw him notice you for a good ten seconds before responding with a single word, “Yes.”

At the very least, you managed to get an answer from him.

But now, things were beginning to feel slightly awkward. The two of you were now silent. You decided to ease things up between you both by switching the TV channels, hoping to find a common topic shown on there to connect with. As you started pressing onto the remote button a few times, you were abruptly stopped by the sound of his voice.

You saw him quickly perk his head up towards the television screen. 

“Would you, would you, would you go back? Please.” 

He sounded desperate.

“Sure.” You pressed again. “There.”

You took a look on the screen to see a man being interviewed on the news, wondering what could possibly be so interesting to your customer. “What, this?” 

He nods. “Yeah.”

You didn't know the exact details, but you somewhat pieced together bits of information like, ‘Grey Matter Technologies’ and ‘Walter White’, along with many other words you didn't quite process into your brain yet. And even if you did, you only knew about the ‘Walter White’ part. You had heard of him on the news for being a drug meth lord or something, and it seems that the man was wanted throughout the country. 

You refocus your gaze back to your new customer, seeing how his attention was now concentrated onto the TV, as if looking for something. As the TV ran for a period of time, you start to see the man looking enraged, his shaky hand now holding onto his glass with bulging veins. 

“Hey, uh. Sir? Do you need anything?” 

Concerned, you quickly let out a meek response. You weren't about to take any chances with compensating your boss for a broken glass, definitely not under your watch. 

He turns his head to face you with a cold and brooding stare. You could feel yourself about to shit your pants. This man was intimidating as hell. 

It was like he could read your mind. Because before you could even say a word, he suddenly smiled at you, shaking his head to say, “No, thank you.” before returning his attention back to the screen. 

Huh. 

You looked at him again. His expression is much more distraught than before.

“Are… you sure?”

He nods, “Yes, I'm fine.”

You let out a slight frown. You were unsure why you're putting in the effort to interact with, or care for this man. Maybe it's because of how there's no one else here, but the both of you, and you simply wanted to make the best out of it. 

“If you say so–” You shrugged. “-Just wanted to be sure, ‘cause lately, there's been a lot of troubled people coming here. They would spill all of their sob stories to me and it made them feel a bit better after that-” You paused for a moment, suddenly questioning yourself why you were even saying this. It's not like you would get extra credit for offering yourself to be someone's therapist. But you continued anyway, not wanting to embarrass yourself. “-I can lend you a listening ear, if you want to…”

The man looked deep in thought as you finished your sentence. His eyes glazed over you, making you feel weirdly vulnerable. Finally, he makes a sigh of resignation, giving you the green light to the story of the mysterious man you've set your eyes on, ever since he had stepped into this bar. 

“I already called the DEA.”

You were taken aback by what he had just said. You figured you must be hearing things. 

“Sorry?”

He points towards the TV, “I'm that guy those people are talking about on the channel right now.”

It took you a few milliseconds to understand who he was referring to, only to let out an “Oh.” as you realise that the man standing before you, is Walter fucking White. 

Christ. What have you gotten yourself into? 

You weren't scared. You just didn't want to get into any scuffle with the police, considering how many times they've entered your bar each time someone reported drunk assaults. And plus, Walter looked pretty tired of whatever he'd been through, probably from all that running away from the authorities. Giving him a break would do him good. 

You stared at him, expecting him to continue. 

“In ten minutes, the DEA will come and I will be gone. But I doubt you would call them either way.” He says as his green eyes pierced into your soul. 

You slowly nod. Walter wasn't wrong - You couldn't stop looking at him when you first saw him and he could tell. He knew you were interested in him, right from the start. 

“So.” He turns towards you. “What do you want to know about me?”

“Everything.”

The past ten minutes flew by as Walter described his whole life with as much detail as he could possibly muster to satiate your curiosity. And from what you've heard, after digesting every bit of information spoken from the drug lord’s very own mouth… You actually felt pity for him. Pity for Skyler, his children, his partner Jesse, as well as his in-laws. Death surrounded the man throughout his journey, and he had grown numb to it. He had lost whatever remaining empathy he used to have, becoming just a shell of his former self. Walter knew he was wrong, but kept doing it over and over again just like how drug addicts would relapse continuously.  He liked and enjoyed having power and control, which led to his downfall as he grew short sighted of his initial goal of providing for his family. He was addicted to power. 

You looked back at him, seeing his soulless eyes drifting across the table. He had stopped making eye contact with you since he finished speaking. 

You try reaching out to him. 

“Hey.”

But Walter remained unfazed, his thoughts still drifting in his own mind space. He was out of it. 

“Hey.” You repeated, only louder this time. You started taking an additional move to rest your hand onto his, which startled him, snapping back to attention. “Wha-?”

“You still want to give the money to your son, don't you?”

“...Yes.”

You press onto his hand firmly, surprised that he allowed your bold move by not letting go.

“You're a good father, Walter. You had good intentions. And even if you screwed things up along the way, it isn't too late to change now. You're still alive and breathing.”

Walter listened silently to your words, putting them into consideration. You saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes as he quickly got up, feeling a new sense of purpose. 

“I still have unfinished business left to do.”

You smiled. “Go for it.”

Walter takes one last long look at you and smiles back, his hand reaching into his wallet–

You stopped him when you realised what he was doing. “Hey! No need for that. It's on the house.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Now get out before they come.” 

Walter paused. “Thank you again, really.”

“It’s my pleasure.”

Nodding, he turns his back away from you and heads towards the exit, leaving you at the counter, where your eyes followed him until he was completely gone and out of sight, and until the familiar sound of police sirens came wailing into your bar. You could feel its vibrations travelling to the palm of your hand that was resting on the tabletop. 

You let out a sad smile as you thought back about his story, pleasantly surprised at the fact that he had opened up to you, or maybe it was because he had already given up. But for now, you could only hope that Walter would find a way to redeem himself- before he lands in jail or dies from cancer, whichever comes first. 

You look at his half-drunk glass, taking it and chugging it down without thought as you made a toast for him. 

To Walter White, indeed. 

[princesstillyenna]

I just found your NYR punishment verse and first of all, holy shit. I may have binge read the entire series one after the other. It was such a fascinating take and I’ll admit I don’t know a ton about the Rangers so it was fun getting to know them through your portrayal of them. I kind of desperately want to pick your brain about the goalies especially now that Georgiev is in Colorado. The legacy of Lundqvist, the dynamic between Shesterkin and Georgiev. What was it like that last year in New York? It feels like you alluded to some friction between them and I kind of want to know more. Thank you for sharing your writing I’m gonna go read through some of your other fics now.

OMG NONNIE LOVELY TO MEET YOU!!!!!

<3 thanks for the binge!!! THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT A READER CAN GIVE

There was A LOT of tension. And I can give you some of the backstory...

Sooo back in 2014, Henke was at his PRIME but hockey is a long game, and they knew that eventually they would need someone to replace him, so they draft in the fourth round, an incredible young goaltender from Russia. The plan is, that he'll develop in Russia for a couple of years, and then come and train and develop in New York, and as Henke grows older, the new up and coming goalie will train under him (and Benny obviously) and eventually take over as the starter, and it'll be a beautiful slow transition.

So, two years later, they're like "OK, Igor, time to be done with the KHL" and Igor is like "Nope, because I get paid a LOT here, and also my girlfriend who is a model, is here, and my boyfriend who is also a goaltender, is here... no."

So the rangers start talking to this undrafted goalie in the finnish league. He's pretty good, he's backed up the U20s russian team a couple of times, he'll do. He's a great gap filler, and they'll keep him to back up Hank for a year or so, and then send him down to hartford (AHL)

Except, well, Igor KEEPS saying no to coming over to New York, and this other russian kid? Turns out, he's better than expected? And is developing pretty well, and either Benny Allaire really DOES work magic, or the ghost of goaltenders past watch over the new york rangers or something along those lines, but anyhow, Georgie starts turning into a really good goalie, not a great one, but one that, with time, could be part of a good tandem with Henke. We're also going to note here that his name is Alexandar, but unlike a lot of russian speakers of that name, he doesn't go by Sasha, he prefers to be called Alex. He's REALLY introverted, like, INCREDIBLY introverted (side note, his instagram is the most pathetic thing in the world and if you go and look at it I promise you will want to give him a cuddle)

And for a couple of years, this works, really, really well.

And then Igor (and his boyfriend, and his girlfriend) decide to come over to New York. he's like HI, HERE I AM, THE PRODIGAL SON! I HAVE ARRIVED. And they give him until December to settle in in Hartford, to learn the different rink size, to learn english (something he doesn't actually need to do, despite what he says, watch his interviews when he was IN hartford, he speaks english just fine) and to get used to being in North America

And then, 6 days after his 25th Birthday, they decide to give Igor a try in Madison Square Garden. And just like he'd been utterly incredible in Hartford, he was utterly incredible 

Enter 2020, when covid-19 wasn't the biggest problem faced by the new york rangers management, because that was in fact what was referred to as "the three goalie problem"

They had, all three, Henke, Alex and Igor on the NHL roster, which wasn't the MOST stupid roster move I've ever seen them do, but it's up there. Every night, one would be in net, one would be on the bench and one would be a healthy scratch. Now in case you don't know this, goalies don't tend to do well if they have long periods without playing a game, it takes a special kind of goalie to be the kind of backup who plays 20 games a season... and none of these men are particularly it. Management know they can't keep all three of them, they're all too good to be playing in the AHL, but Henke isn't ready to retire yet, and he's supposed to be a ranger until he retires, and there's no way in hell they want anyone else in the in the league to get their hands on Igor, but also there's the issue that long term, Alex is a better option than Hank, who should be retiring in a couple of years

There's also the issue of personalities, as previously described, Alex is quiet, he prefers to read a book over hanging out with his teammates, and Igor can best be described as... a little shit. Igor slots in with the boys on the team, and particularly the russian speakers, very quickly, in a way that Alex never particularly seemed to. 

Now, the rangers management are bought a little time by two things, the first being that Igor sadly breaks a couple of ribs in a car accident, putting him on the IR for six weeks, the second being that the international pepperami put the entire league on hold. When the league introduced the "unlimited goalies" rule for the rosters taken into the bubble for the bubble playoffs many of us joked that it was purely for the new york rangers because there was no way of knowing who the heck to take. 

At the end of that summer, Hank was the one traded (to the Washington capitals (for whom he never actually ended up playing)). Now, personally my theory is that both Igor and Alex would have rather it was the other traded not Henke. Igor has made no secret of the fact that growing up, his favourite goalie was Henrik, and he was delighted to be drafted by the rangers, specifically because he would get to learn with Henke. Alex on the other hand has worked his ass off to get to where he is, and I can't imagine how it would feel if some smug irritating (I love igor, but he is very smug, and if his smile wasn't so charming, some of his behaviour would be very irritating) upstart turned up and was a lot better at your job was you. This is also the point where it's worth noting that in interviews, Igor consistently refers to Alex as Sasha, something that we know Alex doesn't like. 

Igor and Alex played together for two seasons with Igor as the clear starter, they were, due to some other factors a rather tense two seasons (this is already far far too long, but some time I might write out the whole saga with tony de-angelo, but it's notable, that our quiet, introverted Alex got into a fist fight). Eventually Alex got traded to Colorado where he is playing as the starter, and honestly, it's where he deserves to be, and I hope he is adored there because I have a really really soft spot for Alex.

Igor goes on to play with Halák for a year, which works, fine, and since then, has played with Jonathan Quick, which works TREMENDOUSLY possibly because the pair of them bond over fangirling about Henke.

This got seriously long, but I hope it helped give some context? For sure it should explain why I write Igor and Alex as having a very terse relationship at best, they're a great choice for enemies to lovers imho lolll

[michixoxo]

"how does the god-tier trio show affection?"

long over due lol

John

shows love through quality time and acts of service

he would spend a lot of time with his s/o simply hanging out together while doing stupid shit lol

he isn't so easy to trust, so it takes a lot of bonding together for him to really open up towards you.

once he does like you, doing things for you is sort of a way to show his worth, since he's used to people overlooking him.

abandoning him...

though he's not the best cook, nor a good tutor, and is more likely a patient than a caregiver... he really does try for you.

anything from tidying up or carrying your bag for you is a gesture of love to him. making your day just a bit brighter is an achievement in his books.

who knows? he might even teach you some of his secret boxing techniques. you're welcome, honey!

personally, i think he's an anxious attachment style that shifts towards disorganized attachment as the story progresses. especially when analyzing his relationship with seraphina.

he puts you on to a pedestal and can only pray he doesn't ruin it all due to his... everything. it's been so long since he felt like this about someone. he can't destroy it.

even if destruction is all he knows how to do.

he's extremely hyper vigilant of your needs. it's sometimes a good thing, when he's so observant of your likes, dislikes, and what makes you comfortable or uncomfortable.

but, as we saw in the webtoon, if his perspective shows you getting distant from him or getting closer to others, or god forbid both...

...yeah he's ripping his hair out and foaming at the mouth.

therefore, he receives love best through words of affirmation.

he quite literally needs you to tell him he's doing okay and that everything will be alright. he often gets lost in a hell of his own creation, spiraling down into it.

your words make it better. you make him better. that's why he loves you.

Seraphina

shows her love through quality time and words of affirmation

by analyzing her relationship with john, it all starts with just a chance given.

just the chance of having a conversation, or being next to one another, or understanding each other's mindsets.

she doesn't fall in love easily, not by any standards, but that's really all it takes. just a chance.

she isn't one to do all the mushy pet names and "I love you"s, but she's also not shy about her love for you, making sure that you know that, especially when you're feeling down.

whenever you're feeling sad, she'll be the one to take you out of that mindset. need her to solve the problem? she's got you. need to just vent and have her listen? she's all ears. just need someone to cry on? to tell you it'll be okay? she's there for you.

that being said, in my book, she's a secure attachment style with avoidant tendencies.

for starters, she isn't codependent by any means, actually, she's rather hyper independent. she's always done things by herself, solved her own problems, wiped her own tears. her self reliance and negative view of others is best illustrated during her perfect era flashbacks. (why does this sound like my apush essays...)

but, from the beginning of the webtoon till now, she's been able to settle into a secure attachment style.

she isn't insecure, but not dismissive. she's adamant about her own feelings, but doesn't disregard others. she doesn't like conflict, but won't run from it.

overall, she's a very healthy girlfriend. despite dealing with her own problems, she tries not to let that affect you and your relationship.

however, she isn't perfect, and sometimes she spirals. and when that happens, she receives love best through quality time.

actions speak louder than words and knowing that you're there for her makes whatever she's going through that much more manageable. she finds, over your relationship, that you've become her peace of mind.

Arlo

guys dw i know my man from personal experience

he shows love through acts of service and giving gifts.

first of all, don't tell me this man wouldn't be lowkey spoiling his partner, whether they need it or not. he smells of rich people and he most definitely is spending it on you. not in a sugar daddy way, but in a "i love you, and this is how you know it," sort of way.

in a way, we can see this behavior from him in the comics, but very subtly. its less that he's doing something for someone to make them happy, and more in a way that the actions he takes shows that he cares about others.

after his ambush of john in season one, he tells elaine to heal melli and ventus first before him, the designated king. he warns seraphina about the authorities looking for her, allowing her to escape their grasp. when the siege of wellston happens, it's blyke and him that sacrifice themselves to help isen, remi, and john.

helping you, whether directly or indirectly, is how he shows how much he cares about you. besides that, i think he would give you lots of gifts.

i don't have any analyses to back this up, i'm just pushing my sugar daddy arlo agenda.

okay, walk with me, imagine you and arlo, on a date, at the mall. you look around and people carry shopping bags in their hands with joyous smiles on their faces. you look through your wallet and... a fly buzzes out. you feel your eyes start to sting as embarrassment and disappointment swell deep inside. suddenly, you feel a hand at your waist. "don't worry, baby [girl/boy/boss baby]. i got you.", arlo says, handing you his black card.

seeeee? you get it.

he's definitely an avoidant personality style. hyper independent? check. avoid emotional intimacy? check. hides or suppresses feelings? check.

we see this throughout the webtoon and can even just infer it. the moment we're introduced to him, arlo is king. he's the one people go to when they don't know what to do. he's the one that leads the turf wars and keeps wellston's ranking high. he's the one that put the school back together after rei's graduation and who kept it together once seraphina exited the hierarchy.

when everyone is relying on you, who do you lean back on? that's right, no one. he keeps almost everyone at a distance, even those he cares about such as holden and elaine(i guess?). he doesn't listen to isen's warning in season one, why should he? in his mind, at the time, the only person who he could listen to was himself.

and look at what happened. yikes. wouldn't want that on my conscious. but arlo does, he regrets and regrets, and asks "what if?" so much that it no longer sounds like a real sentence. just syllables bouncing off the edges of his mind. sometimes, he just needs to hear you say he'll be alright.

like john, arlo receives love best through words of affirmation. I guess when you're so stressed without a direction on what you're doing and where you're going, someone reassuring you that you're doing it all right eases the mind. or maybe not just that you're doing it right, but that it's okay to do it wrong. mistakes are human, and no matter how strong any of us are, we're only human. hearing that from you... it means everything to him.

[kocherry]

⟡ Truthful Adoration in False Illusions ⟡

Pierro x Isekai!Reader

(Part 1/3) (Part 2/3 is here now :>)

I am really nervous to post this fanfic since this is only for my self-indulgence but I decided to share it with everyone. It has been years since I've actually written a fanfic this long.

In all honesty Pierro really did a number on me ever since the Winter Night's Lazzo trailer. Genshin really needs to release more dilf characters huhu. Aaaand this fic is inspired by numerous works but especially two fanfics namely:

Petty Desire by @shumidehiro and Disjecta Membra by @jessamine-rose (Please check them out they're fantastic writers!)

This is only the first half of my Pierro x Isekai!Reader because it'll be a hassle to read 30k words if I combined it all in one post :> Also please keep in mind that this is pre-released characters.

TW: Vomitting, Mental Instability, Mentions of Suicide, Death, Dottore, A lot of Holding Hands

< 15k words under the cut for Prologue, Acts: I, II, III >

⟡ Prologue ⟡

‘I am so pathetic.’

That is what you thought as you were dying in the sea of flames that consumed your entire house.

Perhaps coming back to save those thesis papers isn’t worth it. In hindsight you were a troubled adult that struggled between having a job and getting your own degree. Truly your ambition may not be that big but all you ever wanted is to get a better paying job.

If you had maybe your family would've been prouder of you.

The tears you shed dried up from the fire, your vision slowly made its way to the walls of your room. Your lips weakly smiled at the sight of your favorite character from Genshin Impact smiling down at you. Their hand is directed to your direction as if wanting you to take them.

How you wish you could just do that… you didn’t want to die yet... if only your favorite could save your life. Perhaps being inside the game wouldn't be so bad if you were there.

•••••

Gasping for air, sitting upward, letting out a strangled cough, the sun shined directly into your eyes. Looking around and noticing that this wasn’t a burning bedroom anymore. But instead surrounded by a bright blue sea, legs dipped slightly into the soft waves of the water. Back laid on the grainy white sand, it was more comfortable than dying on your bedroom floor.

First things first... you look at your hands realizing that you weren’t dreaming.

‘How the fuck did I not get any burned scars?’

You place a hand on your cheek then placing them in front of you counting them one by one, “Holy shit I'm still alive...” Then by the spaces between your fingers you had realize that you are not alone.

Your entire body froze at the sight of a silver haired older man with his face covered in half by a black mask. He stood tall, his figure loomed over you and his broad figure blocked your view of the sea. His diamond shape eye stares at you with such intensity that it made the sand you lay in start to melt. 

Well, you got your wish to be in Genshin Impact, but at what cost? Well for starters this person in front of you is definitely not Paimon. Wait scratch that thought... he is by far the scariest man you have ever seen in your life.

There is no mistaken it, this person is the Jester, the Director of the Fatui Harbingers.

The outfit he wore isn’t quite different from the trailer. He just didn’t have the Fatui cloak draped around him.

“You're—wait wait don't kill me I'm not a threat!” You yelled at him with a hoarse voice, it’s as if your body is exhausted. Though you were surprised that your elbows could prop itself up. 

“Princess (Y/N) I advise that you remain calm as you had just woken up after falling from Starsnatch Cliff.”

The Jester's frightening deep voice startled you badly. Honestly at this point you thought that this was all just a dream. Yet reality starts to sink in when your mind started to comprehend what he just said.

Wait a minute…

What did he just call you?

And did he say you just fell from the god damned famous wishing spot?! 

“Princess (Y/N), do you not remember who you are?”

Ignoring the Jester, ran pass by him to see your own reflection in the water. 

The reflection of your image became clear, the first thing you saw is that your eyes had diamond shaped pupils. You didn't look like yourself anymore like back in the real world. If this is how you look and if Pierro called you a Princess then there is no mistake that you have been reincarnated into another body.

When you wished to be in the game... Being the Princess of Khaenri’ah isn't what you had wanted. You only wanted to live in the game after seeing the smile of a poster of your favorite Genshin Impact character. 

However… seeing that you were in the first spot where the traveler meets her traveler buddy…

You definitely in Mondstadt.

But the one who greeted you isn't of cute floating little girl.

Now you just have more questions than answers. Turning to the Director of the Fatui Harbingers with a pursed lip, you asked: "How many years has it been since Khanri’ah’s downfall?" Your question is difficult to say but the older man seems to be indifferent by it.

"...a century." 

‘Shit so I'm 400 years early?!’ You bit your lip to conceal your bewilderment. “I'm afraid... I could not recall anything Lord Jester.” You bat your lashes at him, you didn't pass in feigning innocence but your diamond shaped pupils were wide in fear.

Pierro’s eye narrowed down at you, he certainly didn't expect you to treat him like a stranger. Though he didn't voice out his worries just yet... after all he could forgive this minor inconvenience since you had been in a coma for a while.

“It is understandable that your memories are not intact.” For now, he had seemed to believe (more or less going with the flow) with your lies. “Since you had woken up from the fall, I advise we must go to the camp and examine if there are injuries that needs to be well taken care off.”

The Jester’s show of concern surprised you, his tone shifted into a much softer tone. Somehow you could not believe how utterly different he is from the Winter Night's Lazzo trailer. He is rather calm and gentle so far, although if looks could kill, you would be dead by now.

You gulp a bit, perhaps you ought to just listen to him. But what if the Princess has bad blood with the Fatui? The Jester certainly didn't tell the reason why she fell from the cliff.... what if the Fatui did it because you weren’t of use to them anymore? Would they dispose of you again? Would you be subjected as Dottore's lab rat? 

“Alright I guess I can come it's not like I have any other choice, right?” You feel utterly helpless by asking that, it’s as if you had any other option at all. 

Though you did remember that some of the Fatui do have compassion. However, that may not be true for most of the Harbingers. But there is no way you were going to die again.

Not on your favorite game.

You place a hand over your chest, eyes determined instead of feeling hopelessness. This was not the moment to show the Jester that you were a weak-minded fool. “I may forget who I was but if I couldn’t remember a century of my life. Since I'm still alive, perhaps I can repay your kindness Lord Jester.” ‘Yes, this is utterly a good idea, offering yourself for the Fatui how dumb can you be?!’ You let the second sentence be an afterthought.

The Jester paused for a while, he certainly didn’t expect that you would be so calm. Anyone would start to break down if they suddenly lost their memories and to find out shortly that your home country, Khaenri'ah, has fallen. Perhaps he had underestimated how you value your nation or that you already had come to peace that the nation would fall someday. After all, the Princess of Khaenri'ah is the one who witness how the sages and King Irmin refused to heed to his warnings. 

Either way it didn't matter anymore for what you thought. He could tell that there is no lies when you told him that you couldn't remember the past century you had lived in his care. 

“Lord Jester...?” You ask after realizing he went silent for a minute.

The Jester snapped out of deducing what was happening. He certainly thinks that this is too much of a troublesome situation he is in. “Princess, I would have to consult your condition to a medic. I will have the soldiers immediately prepare our voyage back to Snezhnaya. Meanwhile it is on your best interest to cooperate so that you can recuperate from your memory loss.” When he suggested this, all you could do is nod and follow after him when he held out his hand towards you.

Somehow a flash of red encased your vision and the burning wallpaper of your bedroom is in sight. Then a poster of your favorite Genshin Impact character didn't burn among the rest.

Was that really what happened?

Wait why is the Jester the one holding out his hands?

“Or do you need more time to rest in the city of Mondstadt?” He asks though his tone shifted into a softer one, yet gaze is still intense as ever. 

But much to your relief his hand is still open for you to take and it would seem your presence is accepted... for now at least.

This time you are able to place your hand to the one holding it out to you. Taking note how warm his hands were as he held yours.

Oh by the way...

This is a story after I died in the real world then getting isekai'd into Genshin Impact but why the fuck is the Director of the Harbingers is the one who greeted me instead of Paimon?!

⟡ Act I: Masquerade ⟡

Masquerade! Paper faces on parade... Masquerade!

Hide your face, So the world will never find you! Masquerade!

Every face a different shade... Masquerade!

Look around - There's another mask behind you!

•••••

The lush green of trees, bushes, and plants.

The river stream flowing from the rocks above.

The Barbatos Statue of the Seven stood tall in the middle of Starfell lake.

And the fake blue sky had the sun giving light to Mondstadt’s environment made the scenery quite beautiful. Truly is a wonderful sight for any daily Genshin Impact player seeing it with their own eyes in real time. Being able to walk into the nation of Mondstadt, the beginning of the game, is truly a good part of this isekai fanfic.

However, the only downside is that the Director of the Fatui Harbingers is the one who is accompanying you. Perhaps it wasn't what you had wished for but besides him... nothing could ever ruin your day.

Maybe except for the fact that you've actually reincarnated into the body of a Princess of Khaenri’ah.

At least together with Pierro you were at least able to travel safely since he avoids monster camps and he even lend you his coat since the clothes when you woke up is quite a mess. If you were alone, you would’ve fought a hilichurl with a rock or a stick then die pathetically.

“Wait a second Lord Jester.” You halt in following after him, there is something on your mind for what he said earlier. “Are we really going back Snezhnaya immediately? I don't even remember living there or even meeting you at all.”

The Jester once again narrows his eye towards you. It's as if he's analyzing the way you would act. Whether it be talking, walking, or even looking in awe with your surroundings. You felt bare in his gaze and yet you didn’t find his constant staring hostile.

He then lets out a deep sigh after realizing that you had honest reactions of having a memory loss. He reluctantly let’s go of your hand, “Princess (Y/N) you were under my care after Khaenri’ah has fallen. Three months ago, you left Snezhnaya for a diplomatic mission in Sumeru. You never had reported back and we traced that you’ve been in Liyue, Inazuma, and finally...” He pauses for a while not wanting to overwhelm you with information.

“Found me in Mondstadt where I fell from Starsnatch Cliff?” You finished his sentence but wanted to ask how did you fall but didn't since the Jester wouldn’t probably disclose that information.

The Jester pursed his lips he knew that lying would be terribly bad for his image towards you especially at this stage of your so-called memory loss.

At this point, you didn't trust him enough to lead you to camp without so much doubting his words. “The Fatui does not take traitors very lightly, you may leave if you wish so. However, beware that there is no place in Teyvat that you could hide.” The harsh glare from his deep blue eyes made you shiver.

‘What the fuck did the owner of this body do?!’

You whisper yell at yourself after hearing what he had said. Out of all the people you could isekai into, it's someone who did the Fatui wrong. And so, without any choice you continue to follow Pierro to the camp.

This time you didn't feel the warmth of his hand on yours.

Although it is kind of weird that he even held your hand in the first place.

‘Maybe he's trying to gain my trust since he thinks can't remember anything?’ You ask yourself that, no answer came into mind of course. In all honesty you wanted to tell Pierro that you were not the Princess. That seems like a bad idea now since the Fatui might misinterpret it as the Princess trying to escape from her crimes against them. Or worst-case scenario they might give you up to Dottore for further examination.

You shudder at the thought.

•••••

Okay maybe you were just being paranoid because you were definitely not treated as a prisoner when the Jester brought you to a Fatui camp. Instead of being put into handcuffs, the soldiers just served you a warm cream stew soup and chicken skewers as a side dish. Then you were also the only one inside the tent slightly shivering but with the coat that the Jester lend to you earlier… at least you feel warm and covered.

Not that you were ungrateful or anything but he literally just called you a traitor and now you were getting away with it?

‘Oh shit, what if he’s just making sure that we would lay low and not attract any surveying knights?’

You stare at the Jester talking to the Fatui agents who were preparing a small carriage and the horses which concludes your disappointment not being able to camp outside.

“Princess, you haven’t finished your food, do you feel ill?” He caught you peeking at the slight opening of the tent, although he immediately ignored you after asking that question. “Get the Cicin Mage, she needs a fresh change of clothes.”

“Wait Lord Jester-”

The tent opened itself but it wasn’t Pierro anymore, it was an Electro Cicin Mage that greeted you as she zips up the entrance of the tent. “Greetings Princess (Y/N), since we are both women, Lord Harbinger permits me to assist you.” She is holding a clean and brand-new clothing, it’s not like what you had seen on Sneznhayan NPCs.

The clothes look like what noblewoman in Snezhnaya would wear. Its shade matches the shade of your favorite color and it would help in making your skin tone shine as well. Although there is a fluffy coat made from a wolf’s fur that would cover your skin.

“Thank you it looks beautiful Miss uh… what’s your name?” You accepted the clothes of course delighted it matches your aesthetic but you also want to know the Electro Cicin Mage’s name since she would be with you on the journey back to Snezhnaya.

“…” She didn’t react and you don’t know what expression she makes behind her mask.

“Oh, are you not allowed to tell?” You ask tilting your head slightly.

“Forgive me Princess (Y/N), I just find it hard to believe that you had lost your memories but you may call me Natalia.” The Electro Cicin Mage replied her nonchalant tone retained.

“I like your name, Natalia.” You gave her a sympathetic smile thinking that she may have known the Khaenri’ahn Princess. “I can change by myself, since I don’t feel really weak but uh thank you for the sentiments.”

Natalia just nodded as she turns around while you change into a much cleaner and fresher clothing. After a few minutes, you tapped her shoulder then unzipped the tent.

“Alright I’m done changing, so when are we leaving?”

The Jester is the only one outside as the other soldiers along with Natalia who hurriedly went to help were still arranging the carriage ride (probably into Mondstadt’s city). “You seem to be more complacent Princess (Y/N), earlier today you did not desire to be return in Snezhnaya.” He raises an eyebrow curious about your sudden desire to leave.

“Well not that I have any choice, plus… my life would also be in danger if I won’t be with the Fatui.” You say that fact first of course but seeing how his face starts to contort into a frown you immediately backed up your poor choice of words. “Oh Lord Jester, you may call me just (Y/N), princess is just an empty title now.”

Your request is simply more personal and despite the fact that may wear the Princess’ mask, you were still (Y/N) by heart. Being called a princess from a nation that has been obliterated is merely an insult to the surviving people of Khaenri’ah, and the Jester is of course one of them.

“Very well (Y/N) we shall sail ten days from now, you may extend your recuperation in my estate in Snezhnaya.” Yet somehow the Jester is indifferent from the request, he focuses more on your well-being. “You need not to call me formally by title, when it’s only just the two us, you may call me Pierro.”

Now that you are actually processing that you were inside the gacha game you had often played…

Did your ears betray you? You certainly are surprise by Pierro’s request as well.

Did your eyes betray you? You saw his lips turn into a soft and small smile but it disappeared quickly as it came.

Did your mind betray you? You just spent five hours in this world with him and even when he calls you a traitor, he does not treat you like one. You would think that he only keeps you because you’re probably a useful character and yet you did not feel used.

It feels the opposite, you were using him just to be comfortable in your isekai experience.

Perhaps you were not the only one parading in this masquerade of lies, the Jester still has not disclosed his relationship with the Princess. If he truly calls her a traitor then why do you receive warm food and getting assigned Natalia to be your personal body guard/helper?

“Shall we head to the City of Mondstadt?”

Maybe the answer would come by another time, you were too busy taking his gloved hand once again.

•••••

9 days later…

Teyvat is quite different in the perspective of being with the Fatui. Aside from the indifferent attitudes of the soldiers, you were at least compensated in being able to explore the City of Mondstadt for nine days now. Of course, Natalia is the one who is your bodyguard or personal assistant? Whatever she is, it’s still kind of annoying how she would always follow you everywhere even staring at you intensely while you go to the comfort room.

At this point you didn’t think much about your privacy, if you did it again… Pierro will beat your stubbornness with his logical expiation about how your health needs to be monitored… blah blah blah you stopped listening to him since you were distracted by the smell of Mondstadt’s local foods.

And speaking of the Jester, he hasn’t shown his face around for two days now and tomorrow is your last day in experiencing Mondstadt and you’ll probably never come back here again. Even though you were satisfied with the tour, you kind of wish you could glide everywhere and collect mushrooms on top of rooftops. Or maybe even blow dandelion on top of the Barbatos statue in front of the Favonius Cathedral.

“Lady (Y/N), you’re spacing out again do you need to rest?”

“Ah no worries, Natalia I was just wondering if I could do a summersault if I could glide from the hand of the Barbatos Statue.”

“That would be unfortunate Lady (Y/N), your neck may break if you fail.”

Natalia’s dark and dry humor is what keeps you sane sometimes, but despite the fact that she is growing into you then vice-versa she still won’t listen to your requests.

“Hey Natalia,” You call out her name softly

“Yes My Lady?” The maid immediately replied.

“Uhm it’s quite alright, you really can call me just (Y/N).” You have been tirelessly asking everyone to drop the lady title and especially to Natalia for the last six days.

“It is within the interest of the Jester that you would be addressed properly. After all you are still recuperating from your fall in Starsnatch Cliff and could not remember the past century that you had lived with him.” And of course, Natalia’s answer is the same as always.

Although you find it odd that the daughter of King Irmin would be with the Jester. From the lore you had read, he didn't gain the favor of the sages and royalty about his warnings.

Ah maybe you two were friends before in Khaenri’ah.

That’s literally the only explanation you could really come up with.

Disregarding those serious topics, at this point you have given up hope that Natalia would call you by your name instead. So, you grabbed her hand surprising her a bit since she has been given strict orders not to touch you. “Let’s go to a tavern, I want to talk to you like a friend I’m quite tired of not being able to communicate properly with anyone who see themselves beneath me.” You gave her a pout to emphasize that you did not enjoy having someone to treat you as their superior.

“I have nothing to share Lady (Y/N), all my life I only have been a Fatui soldier, so you might just be listening to a teacher instead of a friend.” She replied with a deep sigh knowing she would have to give in.

“If I am to learn, shouldn't I be hearing it from someone who lives in Snezhnaya? I do want to learn more about the country that I somehow forgot in remembering…. in your own perspective of course." You were looking at her with puppy eyes hoping she would be okay with your request.

“Very well ask away Lady (Y/N) but no alcoholic drinks.” Natalia replied which made you smile.

•••••

“...and that is why we would always follow the Tsaritsa. She does not need to be alone in the war against the Heavenly Principles.” The way Natalia spoke is as if she had lived through a rough life then having a place in the Fatui. Although she censored a lot of things related to the organization meaning that Pierro might have been the one to order her in withholding the information regarding the Fatui.

Again, you were not interested in them, you were always curious about the remaining three unreleased nations. Snezhnaya presented itself as available to learn so why bother hiding your curiosity about the nation that has a bigger role in the game.

It is most interesting that despite their differences and ailments towards one another they always have one thing that they agree. All soldiers in the game speak highly of their loyalty to the Tsaritsa and Natalia isn’t an exception.

“A most delightful insight Natalia!” ‘Although it got boring and I zoned out a bit but still…’ “I admire your passion to your archon.” Despite being satisfied with your curiosity about the Tsaritsa, you were distracted by more important details. Such as the relationship of the Khaenri’ahn Princess to the Director.

Every time you think about him, your stomach starts to sink in with heavy guilt, that’s what you had noticed for the last nine days. And earlier you did come up that maybe they were friends since he treats you kindly… now your curiosity got the better of you. With a gentle clap you brought Natalia’s attention to you.

“So now tell me more about the Jester.”

Natalia seemed surprised by the sudden shift of your mood and the soldiers that is nearby the tavern doors perked up with the mention of their boss.

Suddenly the air felt colt despite the tavern having a hearth that continuously producing heat.

You could tell you made a mistake by showing that you are aware of your situation as a prisoner. You held both of your hand up, “Ah I see he made sure that I would not run away by being friendly. Ha! I'm fully aware that the Jester is keeping me as a prisoner. Besides if I prove myself that I can cope in this foreign country I can be some use, right? In that way...” Your tone is soft and gentle, which made Natalia flinch, she isn't really good with dealing with such a venomous hiding in the softest expression.

“...I can slap Pierro in the face that he made a mistake in imprisoning me!”

Natalia takes everything she thought of you as a gentle soul with a motherly personality, you were like a wild hilichurl who always have an unpredictable behavior.

“U-Uhm L-Lady (Y/N). you should not talk about the Jester like that!” She stuttered not wanting to get into trouble as she stares at the space behind you that is now occupied by the said person.

“And why I shouldn't I? The Jester is not even here, besides he's busy with the meeting between him and other harbingers." You cross your arms but then saw the maid’s eyes that is staring at the space on your right. You suddenly became extremely nervous, "Oh shit... he's right behind me isn't he?”

“I was always behind you all this time Lady (Y/N).”

‘Oh.’

‘Ohh..’

‘Ohhh…’

‘I fucked up lol.’

Natalia excused herself while you turn around to face the Jester. He didn't seem amused nor does he look annoyed, he just stares at you blankly.

On the other hand, the Jester is actually surprised by your behavior (deep inside his blank stare), it honestly contradicts with how he viewed you as before. Although despite the fact that you are a Princess of Khaenri'ah, he already could tell that you already know your place. You were really going to play hard to get at his attempts of being patient towards you and in all honesty, he really didn’t have any ulterior motives… maybe he has but…

Now you just threatened to slap him, it amuses him.

“Such attitude is unbecoming of a royalty such as you Lady (Y/N).” Well despite his inner thoughts, his expression is somewhat annoyed by what he had heard.

“If you scold me, can you at least drop the formality? I’m definitely not a Lady or anything.” Honestly if they call you Lady (Y/N) again for the nth time, there is always the temptation to slap Pierro for real.

“For some reason the title isn’t really farfetched to the Princess title, I don't know who she is nor do I care to become her.” Although it is pretty convenient that you share the same name as the original Princess.

Indeed, you looked like the Princess of Khaenri'ah who wasn't even mentioned in game. However, there were features that you could see yourself as. If not for the diamond shape pupils you would look no different from the real world.

“Very well, (Y/N), I should have not dishonored the drop of the titles when we are together.”

Your ears perked up by the sound of the Jester's voice saying your name for the first time since the day you met him. “It would seem that I underestimated how much you had remembered. You are more perceptive than I thought. So, I am going to be honest with you…”

‘Wait is he going to really discuss this with a lot of Fatui soldiers and Natalia overhearing us?’

“There are traces that you recently used the Art of Khemia before you jumped from Starsnatch Cliff.”

⟡ Act II: Music of the Night ⟡

Night time sharpens, heightens each sensation

Darkness stirs and wakes imagination

Silently the senses abandon their defenses

Helpless to resist the notes I write

For I compose the music of the night

•••••

You were taken aback from what Pierro had said, the Art of Khemia is now the lead reason to why you were isekai'd to this world.

‘Alchemy that is said to be the biggest factor in the fall of Khaenri’ah. So that means the princess might've been afraid of dying but the question is... did we actually just switch places?’

‘Wait why would she even be afraid if she willingly jumped…?’

‘Fuck her and fuck this situation holy shit…’

You shook your head now is not the time to be distracted. You need to know if you are allowed to investigate if you can go back to the real world. “Wait are you afraid of what I can do? Are you not also waging war against Celestia itself so why be cautious of me performing alchemy?” The questions were already answered because by the look in the Jester’s eye.

It would seem that he disapproves of what you plan to ask next.

“I had not lied to you that you jumped intentionally, you wanted to die, and it is merely your own consciousness that responded to your will to live that made you use alchemy as a last resort.” The Jester seems to fixed on the idea that you know the alchemy. “Art of Khemia is forbidden to use, I do not wish to awaken the Heavenly Principles, at least not yet...”

‘Of course, not yet... the Gnoses would only be collected 400 years from now. Great just great, I might be fucking stuck with him for a while!’ You shifted your thoughts to that part and not the fact that the Princess tried to kill herself.

Despite the desire to actually just tell Pierro the truth about yourself. It would seem that it’s a dangerous thing to do. He hates the Heavenly Principles and from what you had read in the Enkanomiya story quest they were also descenders from another world.

So, if the Jester were to find out that you too are a descender, perhaps your fate would be in the hands of the Doctor. 'Normally I'd say why not since Dottore is hot, but perhaps it's not really a good mindset to simp for anyone in this game.' You cloud that thought not wanting to become a perverted isekai character like the ones you would read in light novels.

“Then can I at least act like a citizen of Snezhnaya? You can assign guards around me if you wish so. I do not want to remain a prisoner by your orders.” You suggested, not wanting to be useless and a piece of decorative prisoner under his care.

The Jester looks at you with a raise eyebrow as he sits on the empty seat beside you. He honestly is still baffled that you were quite sure that he is treating you like a prisoner. His gloved hand reached out to yours placing them on top. His thumb gently caressing your forehand.

Your cheeks suddenly became red from the contact.

“(Y/N). If you feel that you are a prisoner, cease those senseless thoughts. I am merely looking out for your well-being.”

It actually surprises you that he would actually care for your mental health. Not that you could blame him if he would still have such disdain towards the royal family. Then again you wouldn’t complain that much, maybe the Princess is now definitely a close friend to the Jester.

Wait you really haven't asked him about that part, "Err... are we friends Lord Jester? Because you seem to care about me which is odd since you're you... you know?" Not wanting to be rude about his stoic and indifferent attitude, you didn't say anything to make this even more awkward than it already is.

“What?”

“Ah nevermind it's a weird question!”

“If that is how you want to play it, then I shall indulge such foolishness.” The Jester lets out a deeply annoyed sigh, “Do as you please and maybe you can be useful to the Fatui and Her Majesty.”

Some use huh? So, the Jester thinks nothing of you but a tool? Of course, what did you expect from the Fatui Harbinger. After all, knowing their lore so far, Pierro and Dottore were by far the scariest amongst them.

The way they manipulated Scaramouche's life, it’s as if they would disregard all life for the goal of burning the Old World.

You did not think any of this too deeply, once you find out how to switch with the real Princess again. You would be back into the real world and leave this world for good. Genshin Impact is much more enjoyable if you would be thrown to Mondstadt without actually reincarnating in the body of a person who has deep ties with the Fatui Harbinger Director.

‘Wait...’

‘What's Genshin Impact again?’

You suddenly panicked flinching your head sidewards making the Jester raise an eyebrow. ‘Why did I suddenly question my own reality?’ You look at the older man and strained a smile.

“Now I can't wait to get out of this nation and actually see Snezhnaya for real.”

Now if there is anything that the Jester could conclude for today's interaction is that you hide your real emotions through a bravado façade. From the reports of your maid, it would seem that you love to engage in nonsense conversations. You perk up the moment they serve hot chocolate and cookies when you take a break from reading. You who often poke the soldiers randomly while Natalia scolds your behavior.

You are quite a headache to the soldiers...

But the Jester honestly did question himself if you're having an identity crisis or if you did actually lose memories of the past century you spent with him. It troubled the former royal mage because the Princess of Khaenri'ah started to revert to your attitude before the Cataclysm. You were always a curious girl and talkative as well.

So why did you suddenly revert to the Princess he knew before the Cataclysm? Does your memory loss have anything to do with it? ...Or is it something else?

“However, I still cannot allow you to be without any soldier accompanying you just yet. You would need time to recuperate and it is unwise to rush in adjusting to your situation and maybe I shall allow you to pick up your claymore once again.” Again, the Jester talks as if he really doesn’t believe that you have already  

‘Wait back the fuck up am I gonna be like a playable character once I can prove to him that I recovered?’

“If I can prove myself, will you finally disregard the soldiers but I’ll have Natalia if it would ease your mind!” You suddenly have a stupid plan but it’s worth a try.

“Pray tell how on Teyvat are you going to prove that you are recovered?” He raised an eyebrow already expected something ridiculous would come out of your mouth.

“I challenge you to a chess match!”

Consider him a prophet, he is right to assume that you are an idiot. You never beat him once before and most especially now that he assumes about your memory loss.

And of course, to prove your worth to Pierro, you challenged him for a match in chess. That is the only reason you could think of, he is an intelligent man after all. He wouldn't be the Director of the Fatui Harbingers if not for his tactical mind.

Although the look of surprise in his expression is something you would relish. Since he didn't expect that the Princess would actually be so bold in threatening him in front of his subordinates.

Perhaps he would believe that you are a descender from another world like how you would often whisper to yourself.

Yes, he can hear you by the way, you are not as discreet as you think.

“Well? Are you not going to accept? You know Lord Jester this is not a behavior I would expect from someone like you. Are you afraid that you might lose to me?” Your behavior can be quite irritating, you know how to pull your strings and by challenging him while the subordinates he borrowed from the Doctor and the Fair Lady that were stationed in Mondstadt are present… it meant he needed to accept.

Gossips are more bothersome than dealing with you.

Pierro didn't break eye contact as he steps forward utterly disregarding the close proximity between the two of you. He notices your cheeks reddening and that made his lips quirk upwards. "Is this how you would beg for my attention? Perhaps it is time that I teach you a lesson for being such a headache." He lifted your chin upwards with his glove fingers, he knew how to make you squirm.

And he succeeded.

You were far more endearing when you try to take control of the situation but in the end, you never were in control.

You were always at his mercy.

“Let us begin.”

Pierro breaks contact from holding your chin, he stands up leaving you alone in the couch. He went to the nearest soldier ordering them to prepare a room for the chess match. While you on the other hand stare at him dumbfoundedly wondering if he is mocking you or seducing you. Either way your face is incredibly red as you grumbled.

“Damn it, here I thought someone like Scaramouche is my type.”

You utter those words out loud and the Fatui solders who heard you started to question if themselves if you were insane. And Natalia’s response is wanting to have a mental breakdown.

•••••

Of course, in conclusion you had lost that chess match.

You did last at least two hours against him until he utterly cornered your white king piece on the corner of the chess board. The empty space had been your downfall, it was a blocked road to make sure the white king is being surrounded by the white pieces.

The match is lost due to the fact you moved your white pawns to save them which made way for his black queen and black knight piece to corner your king piece.

“There is no need to feel defeated Lady (Y/N), you lasted against Lord Harbinger for two hours to which he does recognize that you are recuperating faster than the medic had anticipated.” Natalia spoke up after she notices that you were not paying attention to the bard that is playing in the middle of the plaze, just underneath the statue of Barbatos.

“Aw Natalia that’s the first time I heard you being so nice to me.” You tease your companion, although she did have a point of not being upset. Despite losing the chess match Pierro still allowed you to roam Mondstadt for a few hours since he still has some final business to tend to.

“I am merely stating a fact Lady (Y/N).” She blankly replied, “And I have to ask if you had enjoyed enough of the view of the Favonius Church and the statue of the Anemo Archon.”

There were glares and stares directed at the two of you, yet their gaze would not linger because of the bard that was still performing.‘Oh, right I forgot the Fatui has a bad rep here I guess I underestimated their ability to piss off people in different nations at their century of existing.’ You let out an unbothered hum because technically you were not part of the Fatui, the Princess is. “We’ll go after the bard is finish performing his piece.” In all honesty you just wanted to listen to the ballad since you haven’t really heard it after gloating over your lost to the Jester.

The bard with twin braids dressed in all green and white is looking at you while he strums his lyre and sang a ballad that made your body turn cold.

“You take in anything the ego tells you

Whatever you believe, it will always be a lie to you

The truth is constantly hidden by deceptive mental concoctions

Clear your perceptions from your palette

Be free of egoic contamination to see clearly

Peace emerges from the calm of the mind~”

Your stomach churned at the lyrics of the song, it’s as if it insulted your very mind and soul. The bard’s words were meant to ease the people who were listening. And yet why didn’t it do the same to you? Why were you wallowing in guilt that for some unknown reasons is buried deep inside your consciousness?

Then familiar voices started playing inside your mind, there were two people that spoke, one is your own voice and the other…

Your vision suddenly shifted into a different scene.

“After all these years why have you begun to regret what we had done? Do not forget that you were the one who started this with me.”

“I wish I did forget all of this.”

“It’s time to end these foolish theatrics (Y/N), if you wallow in your delusional fantasies then you will truly succumb to madness.”

“Then so be it, █ █ █ █ █.”

A strangled gasp came out from your throat, bile rose up from your stomach and you fell on your knees with tears in the corners of your eyes. You clutch your chest and heaved, ‘What the fuck was that memory inside my head? And whose name was the one that the Princess had uttered?’ Your ears were ringing and the bile you held back from the back of your throat has finally relieved itself.

“Lady (Y/N)…? Lady (Y/N)…!”

Your vision started to blur but you could still make out the view; Natalia yelling, the Fatui soldiers hurrying to your side, and the bard who played that dreadful song started to walk towards your direction.

A warm comforting wind enveloped your entire body. The pain stops along with your consciousness as the world began to fade in black.

•••••

When you came to be the first thing you observed is the wooden ceiling, the smell of the ocean, and the slight sensation of rocking. Alarmed by the fact that you were most definitely in a ship, you sat up immediately which is a bad decision. Your head started to ache again and bile threatened to escape your mouth once more.

“Fuck…” You curse under your ragged breath. “Is this the consequences of switching bodies with the Princess?”

You murmured as you turn to your side and to see the window that gave you the view of the ocean, the fake sky turned dark projecting the illumination of the fake moon and stars to the water. Once again you stare at your reflection instead of the view, you were still (Y/N) with the same features as in the real world, the only difference is the diamond shape pupils in your eyes.

“(Y/N) you should lay down again.”

The Jester had been sitting at your side and it would seem he was there ever since you were brought into the ship. His hand hovered over your shoulders and yet he refuses to touch you afraid that you might break like glass.

‘Wait…’

‘Did he hear what I just said?’

“I already ordered the Cicin Mage to bring you warm water and soup.”

‘Maybe not since he didn’t question me, I probably just said that out loud inside my mind.’

Since you weren’t responding Pierro never talked again, you just lay back down and did what he told you since your head is still pounding. After a while Natalia came inside to place your warm soup and water just beside the table near your bed to where Pierro sat. Her gaze lingers at your form for a few seconds and excused herself right away to leave the two of you alone.

“Okay this is really awkward Pierro, I think I’m alright now but… I don’t know whether or not I want to immediately move to Snezhnaya.” You broke off the silence first because the atmosphere would become more intense if the two of you would continue to gloat in silence.

“You may scorn me for leaving Mondstadt but we need you to be checked by the finest doctor in Snezhnaya one that could help in your case.”

When the word ‘doctor’ is heard your vision began to change.

“I suppose you have my gratitude. This amount will suffice until my experiment is a success. You were the one who killed this minor god right?”

“A fine observation Doctor, is the blood on my claymore not enough proof?”

“Oh no no, I'm just curious since you do know the consequences of killing a god. The people are plagued with madness already so I thank you for saving me the trouble of finding new test subjects for the archon residue you had collected.”

“Do not test me Zandik. Get to the point.”

“Hahahahah! Hah. It's just amusing that you once called me a monster but are we really so different Princess (Y/N)?”

“No! Do not bring me to that crazy fucker!”

In all honesty you would have just normally tell him calmly but your chest began to constrict and your stomach churned at the thought of Dottore. The memories started to flood your head once again, your arms flail as you smelled the miasma dried blood that is poison to most humans. The memories of the Princess with the Doctor plagued your mind and clouded your logic to respond appropriately.

“I would never let Dottore check on your health, he isn’t the best person to ask that of him. What I meant is the group of doctors that is based in Snezhnaya’s capital.” Pierro replied calmly although his eye widens the second you had yelled at him. “We need to get you examined otherwise you might self-destruct again.”

Your heart skips a beat at the tone of his voice. It’s as if this body of yours is programmed to be flustered at everything he says or do.

“I’ve always wondered… isn’t it a great traitorous sin to betray the Fatui? So why bother yourself with me. Be honest Pierro… I just want to know.” You pleaded because the very fate of your existence in this game depends at the fate of the Princess of Khaenri’ah. You looked helpless in the Jester’s eyes, one that he is not used to seeing you in such state of distress. You were confused and afraid, yet despite the fact that he knew that you often mumble about this world being in a game, what you experienced so far is quite real.

With a sigh Pierro cups your cheek, his thumb gently brush your soft skin. “If you would stop lying to yourself, you would find it easy to believe why I would do this for you and pleaded for your mercy. Had it been up to Her Majesty, you won’t find forgiveness in the land of ice and snow.” His tone shifted from a soothing voice to a cold one. You learned that whatever the Princess had done must’ve pissed of the Tsaritsa and that Pierro would have to obey her had she not accepted his plea.

“Had you accepted our fate had been damned from the beginning we would not have been in this situation. Nevertheless, who am I to scrutinize you when I am partly to blame of what happened between us.” He added as he lets go of your cheek after realizing his touch had lingered to your warmth longer than you had realize.

Although you did not expect that honesty from him.

“Will you play another round with me?” You ask wanting to change the topic.

“Does this game have anything in return?” He asks and… was the Jester teasing you?

“Nothing at all, I merely wish for a companion. Just to get my mind off of things… if you are not too busy of course.” You didn’t want to further analyze the situation besides why would you face the consequences of the Princess if she’s not even you in the first place.

“Very well, I shall indulge your wishes.” He gives in to your request, “However, I am not foolish enough to know that you are diverting this topic (Y/N) when the time comes, I need you to accept what will happen.”

“If that is the case when that time comes when I am to be honest with you, will you listen to me first?” You wanted to clear up this whole misunderstanding about you being the Princess because Pierro had misplaced his sentiments to you instead of her.

“Like I said when you find it in your soul to accept, I will consider it.” He replied, well that was to be expected but you accepted his answer with a nod.

And just like that another game of chess had begun as Pierro brings the board to your bed with a much more relaxed expression. As he arranges the pieces you quietly observed the older man, his expression did not much how his eyes look so desolate as if he is longing for something. Perhaps his homeland? Or is it the real Princess he had miss? It was certainly an emotion you had not expect when the fans and some speculation deemed him as someone who is determined for a war that will end the Heavenly Principles.

“Let us begin.”

Despite your unfortunate experience in getting isekai’d in Genshin Impact, getting to know Pierro is the one you somehow enjoy. So, for now you let your mind wander to this the soft and deft music of the soft splash of the sea waves and the tap of the chess pieces as you both move them around. Although it is Pierro’s presence that you can feel and hear it closing around you.

For tonight you would open up your mind and let your fantasies unwind because in the dark night at the sea, you cannot fight your fate in this world. At least not yet. So, for now you let yourself get immerse in a game of chess and accept Pierro’s presence.

“Like I said before (Y/N), do not let your pawns be your downfall, they are called pawns for a reason so you should at least keep that in mind.”

Your thoughts stop as Pierro takes your white bishop.

“Fine fine… I just can’t help it you know?” You shrugged but despite being nonchalant about it you notive that Pierro means to break the towering strategy before letting his black knight and black rook to corner your white king. “I’m often known as a soft person back in my world and ugh I really need to admit to myself that its okay to use others to win.” Okay maybe you really ought to be careful of your choice in words but this game is making you lose concentrate on what you were saying since your mind is focused on how to turn the tables on him.

“A precise reminder to make sure you will improve. I do take pleasure in playing a game that would mentally challenge me.”

Pierro smirks as he notices that you had taken his black knight with your white queen, at the very least this game should be more interesting than the first.

Thus, the following nights would end with the two of you being entangled in each other and let the darkness of the night be the witness of your chess games until your arrival in Snezhnaya.

•••••

“Is she here Jester?”

Wait was that La Signora’s voice that you just hear outside your quarter in this ship?

The slight fierceness of the sea covered your movement as you slow crept up to the door as you try to overhear them. You gently place your ear near by the door and made sure your feet couldn't be seen underneath the small cracks. 

“Yes.” Pierro answered shortly and with annoyed tone if you may add.

A chuckle could be heard from the woman, “I heard that she had gone mad, part of the rumors is because you had her locked up in your estate. Another said that she had defected the Fatui and got caught since Scaramouche had spotted her over in Inazuma. Then... the last speculation is that she is on a mission and that someone had altered her memories.” Every speculation is quite bizarre to be honest, you hadn’t expected that word of your incident would actually be a hot topic in the Fatui ranks.

“Baseless rumors are nothing more than to be their entertainment.” Thankfully it would seem that Pierro is definitely on your side in covering this incident, he did imply that this matter is between you, him, and the Tsaritsa.

“So what has become of your wife then?”

Wait what?

“Such information is not of your concern, now what of the Tsaritsa’s letter?” The topic quickly changed from the tone of his voice, he is not amused anymore.

“Ah we should discuss that without your Electro Cicin Mage here.” Finally, La Signora dropped the topic and two footsteps slowly made its way to the other side of the ship.

Your head started to pound at this new information and your heart started to beat faster out of nervousness. At least the questions you kept pestering Pierro had finally been cleared up via eavesdropping.

‘The dots finally connected…’

‘I’m his fucking wife what the hell?!’

“Lady (Y/N), you heard that didn’t you?” The door opened without you noticing it, Natalia had caught you eavesdropping on Pierro and La Signora’s conversation earlier.

With a defeated sigh you nod at Natalia’s question.

⟡ Act III - Phantom of the Opera ⟡

Sing once again with me

Our strange duet

My power over you

Grows stronger yet

And though you turn from me

To glance behind

The phantom of the, opera is there

Inside your mind

•••••

Zapolyarny Palace is colder than anticipated, the atmosphere is far from the feeling of comforting winters. The atmosphere is tense and the tension is thick. No one could cut it with a knife, a claymore maybe... a really hot claymore.

The cold gaze of the Tsaritsa is something you could feel. Your entire body felt like as if it incases in layer by layer of ice. Nothing could have saved you from her gaze, not even from Pierro.

The Harbingers were summoned, Pierro and Signora are there of course is there since they were the one who delivered you to the Tsaritsa. Pulcinella, Columbina, Scaramouche, and Dottore were all present. The other Harbingers... well that isn't really something you can think about.

“(Y/N),”

When the Tsaritsa mentioned your name, you feel so small and terrified from the calm anger of her tone. “You have deserted your position in the Fatui. The price for your sins would be equal with death. A founding member capable of defection... does death seem like a proper punishment for you?” She spoke with such gentleness yet her void of emotion is what made this encounter unnerving. This is what the Cryo Archon is like face to face she is not like the other archons you had encountered in the game.

“Your Majesty, the Tsaritsa, can I really be guilty of defecting the Fatui when there is no evidence of my sins?”

Natalia had advised not to look guilty or weak in front of the Tsaritsa and the rest of the Fatui Harbingers. You actually don't know why the Electro Cicin Mage would side with the likes of you but thankfully your question did break the tension that was directed towards you. All the Harbingers’ eyes were on you, some is expecting you to fail while the others are indifferent towards you.

Columbina is the only one who is smiling and humming to herself. Although despite her eyes being closed you could still feel her gaze is directed towards you. She's so relaxed as if she didn't care about what's happening right now.

“Hoh hoh. Despite having your memory lost, you seem to have a sharp tongue as ever, Lady (Y/N).” Pulcinella amusingly let out a chortle but his amused tone betrayed the hostility in his gaze.

“Lady (Y/N), your claims do not have enough proof. Still your mission is to have diplomacy to the Akademiya which you had not failed.” Dottore looked at a stack of report papers, “Not only that you've established connections with some officials in Liyue, Inazuma, and Mondstadt. However, you disappeared for five months somewhere in building those connections. Coincidentally, the Jester found you in Mondstadt with no memories.” His tone is amused yet you could feel it mocking what the Princess had done although he does seem impressed by how there zero evidence of her defection. Dottore would at least acknowledge the effort to cover up a big scandal within the Fatui.

“A convenient scenario yet despite the coincidence evidence of your defection has not been seen in the investigation. Quite the cover if I do say so myself.” Scaramouche didn’t hide his distaste towards you and you do wonder what the heck did the Princess do to receive hostility from these three Harbingers.

Well at least they did acknowledge that you were not a traitor but you do recall Pierro accusing you of one when the two of you first met. “So... uh there you go. I technically have not defected the Fatui if there is no evidence.” You shrug your shoulders instinctively feigning innocence… which is technically true in your case.

Although despite the fact that you were about to calm down, the entire throne room suddenly became extremely cold even for your immortal body, you could not endure this cold. Icicles formed around your shivering clothing and your skin started to turn blue. You however did not break eye contact to the throne that stood so far from where you had stood.

The Harbingers all looked at the Tsaritsa, and one by one they left the throne room leaving you all alone. Pierro is the only one who stayed, his gaze never left you. His expression looks hardened and he did not show any ounce of pity, which you are thankful or else you would have looked really guilty in front of Her Majesty.

“Well played Princess of Khaenri'ah.” The Tsaritsa rose and descended from her icy throne. She slowly stepped towards you in a menacing way if you may so add. Your eyes widen in panic as you look at Pierro for help but he remained standing still at the bottom of the throne letting the Tsaritsa pass.

“You have not betrayed me nor the Fatui.”

You gulp as she stood in front of you not even noticing that her arms were slowly moving up to your body. “But the one you had truly betrayed is yourself.” Her tone is more disappointed than angry with only the three of you left in the throne room.

‘I’m genuinely confused…’

‘Does that mean the Princess really did not defect?’

‘Base on what Pierro had said she tried to kill herself... Maybe...’

“Welcome back.” The Tsaritsa's tone became soft as she wrapped her arms around your body. The hug you had receive is cold but it felt so pure of love. It cut you off from the numerous questions that ran through your mind and without any reservation you returned her gesture.

“Forgive me Your Majesty, I really am not the Princess of the Khaenri'ah...” Your eyes widen a second, maybe that's not really the answer you should tell her. “...E-Er uhm only because I feel like I am not her due to my memory loss.”

The Tsaritsa's gaze remains to be soft as she pulls away from the hug. "(Y/N), stop this foolishness you had been gone long enough I do not want you to succumb to madness. "She cups your cheek while holding your hand rubbing your forearm softly with her thumb. "Do not betray yourself again, that is all I would ask." She lets go of her hold on you, her gaze became cold now as she slowly ascended the throne.

Pierro then stood at your side he nods at you as if he was telling you did well.

“You two are dismissed.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.” You and Pierro then place a hand over your chest bowing slightly to the Tsaritsa.

On the way out of the throne room and back into the halls of Zapolyarny palace. Pierro poked your index finger slightly, you turn to him and he looks relieved that you hadn't really made the Tsaritsa angry. Pursing your lips slightly, the look he gave you is something your parents never gave to you.

The look of someone being proud.

Hugging him is out of the question instead you held out your pinky poking his hand back. In return his own pinky intertwined with yours as the two of you discreetly held each other.

At the first few seconds it felt nice but panic started to slowly sink in... ‘Is this really okay to go on even if I'm not really his wife?’

Then you look at his face, he had a really cute expression right now. His cheeks were slightly painted with a small blush. So, for now you don't think about the consequences and just let Pierro escort you to a carriage ride back to his estate with your pinkies intertwined.

•••••

“Did you ever regret it █ █ █ █ █?”

“Regret what?”

“What we became.”

It’s that voice and name again, the one that plagued you on Mondstadt up until the journey back to Snezhnaya. You purse your lips wondering who that mysterious person was.

“Lady (Y/N)? You're shaking from the cold.”

Thankfully Natalia’s voice cut you off from drowning in your own thoughts, ever since the bard playing a song about self-deception and the Tsaritsa claiming you to betraying yourself hit the nail and buried it deep inside your mind. You wonder why those words affected you so much when it was all for that Princess.

“Dear me it would seem that you had a hard time in your journey Lady (Y/N).” A small elder man with an elf like ears and moustache came in with servants who prepared a tea set that seems to be locally made and it looks really fresh. “Have some tea just to calm you down.”

The encounter with the Tsaritsa had passed by a month and Pierro suggested to have you work again, it was only simple work. Organizing the files in the mayor’s office while he would temporarily take over the heavy burden for you. Pulcinella wasn’t amused by the fact that you would be so casually taking over his work for 5 months during your disappearance.

To him it’s not about the power hierarchy but how serious were you in helping Her Majesty improve this nation that keep enduring hard these past few years.

“Pulcinella, you don’t have to be so friendly towards me just because I lost my memories, I can tell that you spite me because of what I have done.” Honestly the fandom doesn’t really justify the grandpa vibes from this specific harbinger, he is the total opposite of a kind and gentle grandfather that community had concluded.

“Hoh. Perceptive I see, I will give it to you Lady (Y/N). I really could not forgive that you are utterly weak minded. You once said that being a leader required a mind of steel and a stone heart to overlook the carnage, after all an empire could not be built without blood.” The elderly man stated his tone is rather venomous but you maintain your composure, despite the fact you absolutely intimidated. He may be short but between the two of you, you’re the one who felt small.

‘Why the fuck would the Princess say that? Now this little shi-old man isn’t giving me a break.’

With shaky gulp you inhale the tension and exhaled deeply to let out your nervousness, “Then if I maybe so bold Pulcinella, how about you would take over the position from me?” That was the very thing that Pierro had suggested from the start, give Pulcinella what he wants and he will open his mind to reconsider his thoughts about your competency.

In all honesty you absolutely do not want to involve yourself with the Fatui but for Pierro you really have to endure it since he’s your provider and caretaker. This is the least you can do to take a lot of workloads from his shoulders, and since the Princess isn’t here to decide for herself is she still wants to be the mayor then it’s up to you.

You smile at Pulcinella, sarcastically. “Oh, make no mistake I am not affected by what you had said, from the five months that the Princess had gone you have done well in managing Snezhnaya. Perhaps it is time that I would retire from such position and focus on more important matters… behind the scenes.” Although you are genuinely impressed that he shouldered the burden of being a mayor. And from the Winter Night’s Lazzo, a harbinger did call him mayor and it definitely wasn’t the Princess.

“And what are these matters?” Now the Rooster took the bait from your words.

“Rooster.” The deep baritone voice surprised you, only you the rest were already aware that he had entered the office. “Have you ever read the accounting-”

“Damn it Pierro!” You smack his arm.

The servants under Pulcinella were utterly horrified that you just slapped their superior’s boss meanwhile Natalia had already seen that coming. You were truly unaware that he had already came inside the mayor’s office when you asked the Rooster to take over as mayor. He is actually impressed that you had already spot the problem, although he did already spot it a few weeks ago but he does admit that he is far engrossed in searching for you.

And this problem is just perfect for you to prove yourself to the one who is most passionate about Snezhnaya’s improvement and who worships the Tsaritsa devotedly.

“-as I have said, the accounting is poorly managed, what can you do to recuperate from the billions of mora that we had lost these past decade?” He ignored your slap since it didn’t really hurt him, besides he does admit it amuses him that he can sneak up on you like this. Garnering such adorable expressions truly makes his day better.

Pierro does make up with him surprising you with presence by handing out the official documents that would prove that Snezhnaya is on the verge of bankruptcy.

“Please don’t surprise me like that…” You grumble as you grabbed the accounting records from Pierro, “Look this right here the numbers don’t add up, why should we fund Dottore’s laboratory anyway? As far as I am concerned his experiments have done nothing but take mora and results don’t even compensate for what we have lost.” You pointed at the numbers of mora, which would probably can pay your student loans and fund your family for at least a century.

Pulcinella does pay attention at least and now you have finally hooked him, least to say that being the mayor won’t be your problem anymore.

“The noble families in this country should be contacted, the taxes of the people have not seen the light of day in the north and eastern side of this country.” You continued while he takes the papers that would be under his care to solve.

“And with your built connections in Liyue Harbor and Ritou we could recuperate millions of sums.” Pulcinella finally connected the dots of your disappearance, although, you really don’t know what happened to the Princess predicting this situation. It was as if she truly is ready to pass on the mantle of the mayor to Pulcinella. Perhaps she was really ready to… you shook your head and gave Pulcinella the second main problem of the bankruptcy, “Then we cut off Dottore’s funding for a while, if he wants his research to be funded then we should expect more results rather than more hypotheses.”

“While I do this, Pulcinella can we both trust you in handling things here in Capital? And if those noble families hold back the taxes and refuse to give us the real documents…”

“Ah it would seem that I had made a mistake in being bitter towards you Lady (Y/N), you truly do know how to manage this country.”

“An honorable job such as being the mayor is something I would give up just so we couldn’t overlook Snezhnaya’s built up of corruption. The Fatui is indeed establishing its influence but can we really stay in power when Snezhnaya is going against itself?” Okay your mouth suddenly went on autopilot because what you have been saying so far… it’s as if you already know how to handle Snezhnaya’s economic problems.

“And what of the blood that will be spilled?”

Now the tension is back again after the Rooster asked an ominous question, Pierro gave him a warning look but of course he chose to ignore it.

“Why would there be a need for bloodshed?” You asked the elder man back unaware of the tension.

Your response made Pulcinella close his eyes, though he does seem disappointed but nonetheless he finally got what he wanted. “Hmm. I can overlook this naivety for once since your memories are lost, you may not have them yet but that doesn’t mean your compassion to those who doesn’t deserve it should stay.” He leaves the room to start working with the position you passed onto him, the servants and soldiers inside the room followed after him.

“Leave us.” Pierro ordered his subordinates and so they all left including Natalia.

Now that it’s only you and Pierro who were left, you turn to him a bit worried. “Did I say something wrong Pierro?” You look absolutely helpless compared earlier that held a really suave and dignified aura.

“What you had said, can it be really resolved without any people being killed?” His tone is soft as if crossing through a fragile bridge, he notices you starting to panic. When your hands start to shake and your knees buckle that is the cue that you would start to shut down. “Breathe… and think carefully (Y/N), is bloodshed truly the answer?”

The palm of his gloved hands were on your shoulders, he rubs them gently knowing how affected you can get when it comes to death. The way he rubs your shoulder blades with such tenderness and slowly unknotting the tension made you calm down.

“No… but it can be avoided…” You finally answered him.

“And how are you going to do that?” He urges you to go on.

“Talking… chatting…” You purse your lip as you had been enlightened. “Negotiation! Scare their fucking asses!”

Well your answer finally came through the acceptable answer that he also have thought of, “Remember not to use profanities when you do it, intimidation often comes from how well you would handle yourself. Though you are aware that words won’t work if you do truly want to save Snezhnaya from bankruptcy.” Talking to him feels so natural at this point, whether it be casual or work conversations you find comfort in hearing his voice. Although you were still quite reserve with him trying to get close to you, especially now that you found out that the Princess is his wife.

It is wrong to lead him on believing you were her.

“Of course, but I don’t know if I can do this alone… sheesh! We truly need a banker.” You replied jokingly, you were walking to the door not really wanting to be alone with him. “Well, I guess we should go now, right? You are still needed in-”

You mentally cursed for being too slow.

Pierro’s strong grip is wrapped around your wrist, he was so close to you that you could feel his chest on your head. The size difference between the two of you is quite evident when he stands so close, his hand trapping yours made it hard to leave the room. You didn’t dare look at his direction and close your eyes letting out a shaky sigh then faced him tilting your head, “Do you need something?”

He chose to ignore your question, “Since you cannot recall, we used to work together when the Harbingers haven’t formed yet. Shall we do this together once again?”

You nervously let out a chuckle, this wasn’t supposed to be your role to this world, you only helped Pierro as a thank you not as a permanent job. Even if you were starting to look at him in a different way, you were not the Princess of Khaenri’ah. You were not his wife.

This time instead of holding his hand, you let go of it but his grip became even tighter and looks of remorse is evident on your facial expression. “But uhm what if I am not really your wife? What if I’m not the Princess you once knew? What if… her soul is no longer in this body?” There you finally said it but it was more of a hypothetical question rather than being firm with the real thing.

“That she believes she’s in a different world reincarnated into her favorite game? Do you truly still believe in that false illusion?” The more you had tried to avoid his voice the more it starts to invade your mind.

“Isekai? Reincarnation? That is ridiculous and it definitely doesn’t seem to be well written base on its title.”

“It isn’t so bad and besides I think it’s funny that the title of this novel is ‘This is a story after I died in the real world then getting isekai'd into my favorite board game but why the fuck is the Demon Lord who greeted me instead of a cute fairy guide?!’ It’s creatively eye catching.”

“I would close my eyes.”

“Ugh come on don’t you find it funny?”

Now it was clear who the mysterious person was during your relapses, it belonged to Pierro.

Now you were utterly helpless from this confrontation, Pierro started to believe that you were faking your memory lost. It was all the same from everyone, including the Fatui subordinates, Signora’s gossip, and the Tsaritsa’s words that you truly had betrayed your own mind.

“What?! I’m not crazy Pierro! I am not the Princess! I’m just (Y/N)!” You cried loudly not wanting to loosen your grip on your own reality, “I’m a corporate worker who is underpaid while balancing my life in getting my master’s then-”

“Died by saving your thesis paper and then reincarnated into your favorite game. I know I have read the novel you had bought in Inazuma.” Pierro’s calm angry tone scared you now… and what’s even scarier is that your vision started to change and this time the visual is clear as day on who you were talking to.

“Don’t you have a diplomatic mission in Sumeru?”

“Ah… well I just want to see you one last time my dear husband…”

“Is that why you came to annoy me so late in the evening? You know you could have just asked, we’ve been married for decades now and you’re still shy as ever (Y/N).”

“Yeah… I know… I just really wanted to see you, █ █ █ █ █.”

“█ █ █ █ █! you’re hurting me…!”

When you yelled his real name, Pierro froze like deer in headlights, he realizes that fragments of your memories were slowly slipping through the alchemy marks that you had planted within your mind. His grip is still tight and you began thrashing around and yelling at him to let go. You sounded so confused and hurt that he is tempted to let you go but he already had enough of your lies and his patience is grounded to zero.

“We will return to my estate and continue this conversation there.” He declares since you were starting to get hysteric.

How could you not go hysteric? This man confused your mind and the reality you had believed in, you weren’t so sure about what’s real and not. It didn’t help when he started to have a vice grip on your wrist on which you are sure that it will bruises.

“I said let go!” You slapped his cheek unaware of the blue wisp on your palm hitting the right side of his face as his mask is thrown on the ground.

Red started to drip on the marbled white floor of the office, your eyes widen as you saw the cut on Pierro’s cheek. The blue wisp of your abilities is the one that created the wound, you look at your hand and saw wisp still lingering. Then you look at Pierro again his reaction made your heart dropped from what you had seen

An expression filled with so much grief, anger, and pain. Before the older man could say anything you ran out of the office afraid of the consequences of your actions.

And though you turned your back on him.

You knew he would always plague your mind from this day on.

•••••

You absolutely underestimated Zapolyarny Palace, when you ran away from the mayor’s office you were surrounded by dark hallways that had soldiers stationed in each door of every room. They seem to ignore you which is good because you clearly could not deal with anyone else especially Pierro. They all think that you had gone mad, you weren’t… but are you really sure about believing in your own reality?

When you ran away from the mayor’s office, your feet dragged you to a secluded garden nearby, the bushes were all painted in white snow and the flowers never grew in this area. You realize that your stamina still hasn’t been depleted and physically you were still okay but mentally? You were absolutely exhausted by the events that transpired as you squat down letting your knees sink down the soft and cold bite of snow.

“Fuck…” You curse under your breath, “Fuck fuck… they all think I’ve gone mad.”

“Hah. I suppose that makes two of us then.”

Dottore’s voice didn’t even startle your exhausted form. When you raise your head up this one is the same clone back in the Tsaritsa’s throne room and in your vision, the Omega Build, you could tell from the beak mask and clothing. Although beside him is Scaramouche who remained silent as he is disinterested in whatever was happening.

You look up to the two of them, “Why are you still not leaving?” Honestly you didn’t want to talk to anyone who doesn’t think you’re insane.

“As much as it is not my business to meddle, I am just curious to why you would continue to deny that you are living in a fake reality of your own making?” Dottore genuinely is curious but his lack of empathy somehow made it easy to talk to him.

“That’s the very thing I don’t understand Dottore, why do you all assume that I am the Princess and not some poor soul that had switched places with her?!” You were starting to get riled up again because even Pierro hadn’t believed in you even though back in the ship he said that he would listen and trust you… and yet he didn’t, you do understand his reaction but when he made you start to question your own memories that was when you begun to get upset.

“Switch souls…?”

Dottore began to laugh.

And you were on the verge of tears.

“Amazing! This is truly a product of your own research except you have not reached for the conclusion of your hypotheses because you had failed. To put you out of your misery Lady (Y/N), the answer has already been given by Her Majesty, the one you had truly betrayed is yourself.” Dottore had been lost to his own ramblings now and had bark insults at your pathetic crying form, “Well, I could not blame you for completely living in ignorant bliss, you always have a fragile soul despite being the fiercest Harbinger that we have. Unlike the Jester he accepted that he no longer had any ounce of humanity left in him and you on the other hand, continues to deny that you had long fallen from grace. And, proof of your denial is your own belief that you had truly switched places with a poor soul from another world.” Dottore dropped something on the snowy ground, it made a small crater but the white color of snow turned red.

“Here I wanted to give this back.”

For your dignity, you swallowed the scream that you want to let out and the object became clearer in your vision. “This is…” The item is the container of the archon residue that you had seen in your elapse with Dottore being there. “The minor god that I had killed and those people that I purposely turned my back to so that you may be able to use them.”

Tears finally streamed down to your face as the memory of the carnage the Princess of Khaenri’ah, who’s real identity is none other than you, the one who put fake memories in your mind to forget the sins of what you had done for the Fatui, for Her Majesty, for Pierro, and for your vengeance.

Dottore crosses his arms looking down at you with a smirk “And there you go, the first step towards the answer, acceptance.” In all honesty he is proud to have made you realize to the answer you had been looking for. Although he does not look forward if Pierro ever finds out about this incident.

“Enough already Dottore, you have taken too much time of your schedule to bother the Jester’s wife, shall we proceed to your laboratory?” Scaramouche asked a bit irritated that his precious time is being eaten by a woman he doesn’t even know and she started to cry because of Dottore.

“Ah yes of course but this is basically a service to Her Majesty and the Fatui,” Dottore is surprisingly honest with his answer but it did give him satisfaction he finally had snapped the hanging thread of your fake memories. “Scaramouche you may have just joined the faction but Lady (Y/N) is not just the Jester’s wife, she currently holds the title of the Second of the Fatui Harbingers.”

“I see, then if that is the case Lady (Y/N), the solution to your problem is something you already have passed through. Start from the beginning and it may just help you.” When Scaramouche had said that, you stopped crying and looked at him.

Although he and Dottore were already walking away from you.

“Is your advice a reference in your contribution in ending the Raiden Gokaden?” Dottore asked with a grin.

“And yet I did not get the results I wanted, the Electro Archon simply didn’t care, this isn’t about me Dottore… I am just giving Lady (Y/N) a better advice than yours because if she recovers from losing her mind then I don’t have to take orders from you.” Scaramouche scoffs at him clearly annoyed by his entire existence.

“Indeed, what an insight Scaramouche, would you like a lollipop for that?” Dottore teased.

“Eat shit.” Scaramouche then pointed his middle finger at the Doctor.

As soon as they were out from your view, you stood up from the snow, you let your tears dry on your cheeks as you held the bloodied container in your hand. Pursing your lip, you wonder what really had transpired for you to even think about erasing your own memories and replacing them with ones that you had once read in a novel from Inazuma.

Pursing your lips your grip of the bloodied container started to grow stronger and the glass started to crack as you angrily contemplated on what to do from now on. A hand is place over your own, smaller hands, one that belonged to the first friend you had made in your entire fake isekai journey. You turn to Natalia and smile, at the very least someone is at your comfort for today’s events.

“(Y/N)?” She didn’t use the lady title and her tone is softer than you had remembered. “Forgive me for not intervening, I thought by having Dottore speak to you it would benefit your mind, if you linger in living through this fake memory. Your entire brain would collapse and you would be nothing more than a hallow shell.” She rubs her thumbs over your forehand as she lets out a soft hum that somehow soothes your disturbed thoughts and feelings slightly.

“Natalia… Do you truly think that I have gone mad? I… I can’t even remember being the Princess of Khaenri’ah nor do I even can’t stop believing that I am an isekai character.” You grit your teeth in frustration.

She softly pats your hair, “I do not think you have gone mad, you were overwhelmed with emotions of vengeance and guilt, with a delicate heart as yours… only you have the answer to why you had replaced your memories.”

“Scaramouche said that I should go back to the beginning…” Of course, it is obvious that the Jester is the one you had first encountered. Every question and answer all lies anything related him. “Pierro… I need to go to him…” The beginning of your journey is Pierro and you were not an isekai’d character but truly the Princess of Khaenri’ah who finally remembered that you deliberately tried to kill yourself and since that won’t work you somehow re-wrote your memory.

No wonder Pierro was so upset earlier, now you feel like the asshole because you were the one who got scared then slapped him then ran away. You feel deserving of Dottore’s cathartic way of letting you accept the reality.

“Right answer but wrong action, now are you really sure you would sing a duet with him once again?” Natalia asked in a sing sang tone which is now completely different from his monotonous voice.

“If he would have me…” You do wonder if he can truly forgive you, the man had gone through enough and he has a mentally ill wife as his partner unfortunately. Although it is odd that Natalia knows a lot about the situation, you narrow your eyes at her. “Wait Natalia, how do you know so much about this situation I thought you were just an Electro Cicin Mage?”

Natalia then smiled for the first time, it was an unsettling smile but somehow it didn’t look intimidating. As the matter of fact her smile is somehow comforting as she pulls the hood of her uniform and removed her mask. The true identity of Natalia the Personal Assistant is another Fatui Harbinger…

“Columbina.”

“I truly had missed you dearest (Y/N).” The shorter female tackled you into a hug, she rubs her cheek onto your chest as she lets out a hearty giggle. “Forgive me for lying but your husband didn’t want me to reveal myself to you yet so I became your body guard~” Now it makes sense why Pierro is so confident in letting you roam Mondstadt with minimum soldiers.

Columbina then lets you go and she closes her eyes still smiling, “So now that you’re finally aware of your situation would you like me to return your memories?”

Your breath suddenly hitches in anticipation, “You could do that?” Natalia… Columbina… either way she is truly a dear friend of yours.

“With the help of Dottore’s child segment Zeta, you were able to withhold your memories in the archon residue container. I am able to slowly put your memories back so you won’t get hurt.”

Your eyes widen in surprise because you never thought that the Doctor actually gave you the memories back by making you cry of course. Now that you think about it, you didn’t feel the intent to murder him anymore but instead thank him. Oh, how ironic it is that he just showed the actual traits of a doctor towards you.

Turning to Columbina you gave her a determined look, you wipe your tears once more and let out a really heavy exhale. “Please return everything to me my dearest songbird.” When you had said the nickname that you would often call her, she then slowly turn the container around as small purple colored wisp started to seep through.

As the wisp surrounded your head, you close your eyes and readily accept its content. Under the false illusions of your lies, Pierro had never given up his adoration for you and your response to it would also be the same. You would finally stop giving up on yourself.

•••••

Now you were back from the start, to your real life as the Princess of Khaenri’ah, the memories of your childhood to your coming of age had all start to come through like a fast wind. It’s as if these memories were but a fraction of your long life, after all you had spent 100 years in the Fatui and 23 years as a royalty.

Now face to face with a younger Pierro who wore the suit of a royal mage. He brought your hand to his lips, “Truly you have a compassionate heart Princess (Y/N) thank you for always checking up on me on my lowest days.”

“Hush now Grumbles.” He grunted at your poor choice of nicknames but accepted your hug happily he buried his face on your hair inhaling the scent of pine and mint with a tad mix of strawberries and custard since you had made him some pastries, “We’ve been friends since my coming of age so I would always come by and check on you, okay?”

The grumpy mage couldn’t help but smile at that, what is love without friendship first. Had it not been to you, he surely would be wallowing in self-pity and anger by himself after being ridiculed endlessly by the sages ever since he had failed to stop them from doing something that tore away the veil of sin.

You always had hated those assholes from your father’s council anyway, even Rhinedottir is insufferable as she would not stop creating those monsters. Your friend had been your saving grace from this insufferable castle, at the very least the citizens of Khaenri’ah were not all obsessed with technology but more inclined in everyday lives such as baking, sewing, reading fictional literature, or even gardening.

Those kind of things is what you want to preserve in Khaenri’ah and the grumpy mage is the one you wish to do this with. “Hey there’s something I’ve always wanted to tell you...” You place both your hands on his chest while your cheeks start to heat up from the close proximity between the two of you.

“What is it Princess (Y/N)?” His eyes slowly soften up when you called him by his real name.

You purse your lips finding it hard to say those three words to him, yet you would not end this day without confessing your love for him “I-”

The door of his quarters slammed opened, a tall blonde man with blue eyes holding a longsword came, his expression is panicked and extremely troubled.

“I have been looking everywhere for you Princess-Mage an impeccable timing we need every warrior we can get to protect the people!” He barked out orders his voice is shaking from fear.

“Dainsleif! What is going on?” You ask as your claymore materializes on your hands.

“Twilight Sword who is attacking the people?” The mage asked as well as his catalyst also materializes as it hovers above his hand.

Dainsleif grit his teeth, his eyes were wide open as if he had seen the most horrifying sight of his life. The Twilight Sword is one of the strongest warriors in this kingdom and to him looking so afraid… you were beginning to know the reason for his fears.

“The gods… they have come to destroy Khaenri’ah.”

~ End of the First Part of Truthful Adoration in False Illusions

A/N:

I would like to apologize for scamming everyone who thought this was going to be an isekai reader but it's actually a mentally illed princess reader who could not deal with the fact she had done horrible stuffs for vengeance against Celestia.

In all honesty isekai was really the plot for this fanfic but I changed it due to the fact that isekai reader wouldn't really connect with Pierro emotionally unlike Princess of Khaenri'ah reader whom he already had known for five years before the Cataclysm.

If you guys want to read Act IV: All I Ask of You it's available on AO3 now but I'm holding it back since I haven't polished Act V, Interlude, and Epilogue yet.

I truly admire if you guys actually read this whole thing and enjoyed it, I feel like I'm such a messy writer since its been years since I posted a fanfic ;u;)

Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed the first part of this fanfic! <333

[stratossphere]

sleepover | j.k

you and johnny try to have your first sleepover. key word try.

warnings: mentions of drinking and smoking, suggestive content, getting interrupted, the jackass guys are shit starters, fluff

word count: 4.1k

a/n: this is the first sleepover fic from my poll that i never posted :)

tags: @asskickedbygirl @kristinee (lmk if you want to be added!)

— —

"Oh my god. It's almost three in the fucking morning." You groaned as you suddenly caught a glance at the oven clock in Johnny's kitchen as you were passing by. "I have a 30 minute drive home."

"The rest of us are staying. Just crash on the couch or something." Dave said as he tossed his beer can into the trash from across the room. When he saw the look on your face, he rolled his eyes. "It's only gonna be weird if you make it weird."

"I just don't want to like...push it further than it is." You fretted, taking a small drag off the cigarette between your fingers before blowing a thin tunnel of smoke towards the ceiling.

"You're pushing what?" Suddenly Ryan was in the room too, and he could clearly tell that you were gossiping. Dave just shook his head.

"Y/n’s too pussy to have her first sleepover with Knoxville." He filled Ryan in, yawning as soon as he was done speaking and starting to back out of the kitchen towards the hallway. "Everyone else is going to bed, man. Better make a decision sometime soon."

"Oh, you're too pussy? What, because he hasn't called you his girlfriend?" Ryan teased, decent enough to keep his voice down to prevent alerting the entire house of your conversation. You punched his shoulder, giving him a dirty look.

"Shut up. I don't care about that." You did, in fact, care about that, but he didn't need to know that. You and Johnny had slept together quite a few times now, and you were more than comfortable together, but you had yet to actually have that talk, or ever actually spend the night at each other's houses. It had just never come up.

"Whatever you say, man. I'll bet good money if you tell him that you're driving home now he'll just tell you to stay over." Ryan muttered, rolling his eyes like yours and Johnny’s situationship annoyed him. You were about to open your mouth and say how stupid that was, when suddenly the man of the hour himself was coming into the kitchen with Bam behind him.

"—just look for goddamn blankets. I'm too tired to go rootin' around for you." He was saying irritatedly, waving Bam off like an annoyed dad as he discarded an armful of beer cans into the trash.

"You're the worst fuckin' host ever." Bam grumbled, walking by you with eyes that lit up and then plucking your cigarette right out from between your fingers. "Why thank you."

"I'll help you look for blankets." Ryan was clearly trying to get you and Johnny alone, because suddenly he was shouldering Bam away from the kitchen, along with your cigarette.

"Seriously?!" You snapped, throwing a hand in the air as they both snickered their goodnights and disappeared from view. Which left just you and Johnny.

"You're not thinking about driving home this late, are you?" He asked as soon as Ryan and Bam were out of earshot. You shrugged.

"I don't know. I'm not sure I want to be sleeping on a couch in between Dave and Ehren all night." It was just a ploy to get him to invite you up to his bed, and you could tell by the way his eyes lit up that he caught on. He shook his head.

"Sleep with me. I've got a king." He had a good-natured grin on his face, and you were glad he wasn't aware of the way your heartbeat picked up by tenfold at his words. He winked. "It'll be our first sleepover."

That had you convinced, and then you were letting him lead you up to his bedroom, which you’d only seen a handful of times in passing. The lights were off, but he only turned on a small lamp in the corner once you got inside, leaving the room dimly-lit by orange light as you closed the door behind yourself.

"You want something to wear?" He asked softly, startling you a bit as you sat down on the edge of his bed. You looked down at the jeans and tight shirt you were wearing, and immediately nodded. Even if you had been wearing something comfortable, you weren’t about to pass up an opportunity to wear Johnny Knoxville's clothes.

Soon a Ramones shirt with the sleeves jaggedly cut off was handed over to you, and then you were watching Johnny strip down to his boxers while you did the same. It felt so mundane that it was almost comfortable. Almost, except for your racing heart.

"You know, this is nice. You here means no drunk assholes are going to try to crawl into my bed in the middle of the night." Johnny pointed out as he peeled back the covers, flicking the lamp off before he was crawling underneath. You could still see him pretty well even in the darkness, and you could see that he was holding an arm out for you to crawl in next to him. You laughed.

"Hey. I'm one of those drunk assholes, so technically you didn't win." You teased as you crawled into bed after him, surprised at how comfortable his mattress actually was as you laid down next to him. There was space between you, but he was reaching his arm out to grab your hand before you could even fully register it.

"Are you nervous?" He asked suddenly, voice quiet like he was convinced that he was going to scare you. You let out the breath that you had been holding, nodding. Usually you felt pretty comfortable in his presence, but right now you felt like you were going to throw up.

"A little bit." You admitted, raising your eyebrows as you let him bring his hand forward until it was pressed against his chest. You could feel his heartbeat, and you smiled softly when you realized that it was going even faster than yours.

"It's okay. I am too." He reassured you gently, that smile never leaving his lips as he held your hand against him. "Never had such a pretty girl in my bed before."

Instead of replying, you moved closer to him and pressed your lips to his, your hand that was on his chest sliding up to his neck until you were holding the back of his head. God, you liked him a lot more than what was good for you.

"Once you get me in, I'm never leaving." You warned, kissing him a couple more times and nipping at his bottom lip. "I don't have a memory foam mattress."

"Oh, you poor thing. Guess I'll just have to keep you forever, then." He replied with that grin still on his face, his smile sticking no matter how many kisses you gave him. "In my bed, where you can't get away, and you're not wearing any pants."

"Sounds promising." You snickered, seconds before he was kissing you again, his fingers working their way into your hair. You now felt a lot better about being in his bed, and even more so when you felt his hand slip under your shirt.

"God, I've wanted to fuck you all n—"

"Fuckin’ shit!" Suddenly the bedroom door was being thrown open, and Bam, who had been the one who shouted, was bolting through the room and into the attached bathroom. You and Johnny broke apart in surprise at being interrupted, both looking at each other momentarily before you turned on your other side to look towards the bathroom, where you could now hear the suspiciously familiar sounds of throwing up.

"Bam! What the hell are you doing?" You called, not quite committing to being a part of whatever problem he was having but also not about to continue letting Johnny Knoxville feel you up while he was 10 feet away.

"Fuckin’…throwing up. What does it sound like?" He called back snarkily, more puking sounds following his voice. "I think we got food poisoning."

"From what?" Johnny joined in, not sounding very convinced. You had all been drinking for almost eight hours straight, so the idea that Bam was throwing up for a reason outside of alcohol was an unlikely one.

"I don't know, man, but there's like three other people puking in all the bathrooms downstairs so I had to come up here." Bam explained in a hoarse tone, the puking ceasing for a minute as you heard his head hit the wall softly. "What? Were you two like, fucking or something?"

"Well not anymore." You grumbled mostly to yourself, sitting fully up in bed and letting out a deep sigh. "Do you want me to like, get you something?"

"No. Just—shut up for a second." He groaned, as if he wasn't the one that was imposing on your alone time with Johnny. You turned to the other side of the bed to give Johnny an are you hearing this? look, and he just shook his head.

"You need me to hold your hair back, Bam Bam?" He then decided to add some fuel to the fire, basically singing his words as he leaned over you to get a look into the bathroom. You sighed, because you knew this was going to turn into an argument as soon as you saw Bam stick his head out of the bathroom with a glare on his face.

"I will kill your fuckin' face. Shut up." He snarled, wiping his mouth with his sleeve as he spoke. You wrinkled your nose, because you knew for a fact that he was going to be disgusting in the morning when everyone else got up around one in the afternoon. "I hope you can smell the puke."

"Bam." You groaned, silently urging him to stop being such a fucking dick. You were trying to get a good make-out/fucking session going, and he was severely ruining your chances. "Can you like, hurry up or something?"

"Give me a second." And then he was ducking right back down to the toilet to throw up again. You huffed out a sigh, falling back against your pillow and then turning your head to look at Johnny. He was still on his side facing you, but you could tell he was more amused by the situation than impatient like you were. Who would've guessed?

Bam puked for a couple more minutes, during which Johnny called out occasional insults and jabs (which just encouraged Bam to shout at him through mouthfuls of puke), before he finally flushed the toilet and re-emerged, looking a lot shittier than he had when he'd gone in.

"You got a cigarette?" He asked you in a hoarse tone, once again wiping his mouth on his sleeve. You were glad he wasn't close enough for you to smell his what was probably putrid breath. You rolled your eyes, motioning to where your jeans were on the floor.

"Back pocket." You were mentally rushing him, but of course he had to take his sweet ass time. He bent down, grabbed the pack out, and then made a face at the Newport logo due to the fact that he smoked Camels. Picky little bitch.

Once he had grabbed *two* cigarettes, he got back up, then promptly got back up and walked towards you whilst pulling his wallet out of his back pocket.

"Payment." He explained. You grinned, because you thought you were about to get paid, only for him to pull out a small purple foil package and slap it into your palm. A condom. You threw a hand in the air.

"Seriously? I wanted a twenty!" You complained, accepting the condom regardless because you knew that there was no way either you or Johnny had one anywhere. Responsibility at its finest!

"A kid's gonna cost you more than twenty, so technically you're getting it." He said, jabbing a finger at you before he started to retreat towards the door. "If I hear you two, I'm pissing my bed and making you clean it up."

And with that he was gone.

"I'm gonna dunk a bucket of piss on his head while he's fucking sleeping." You grumbled as you turned back to Johnny, listening to Bam's loud footsteps on the stairs as he disappeared towards terrorizing someone downstairs instead of the two of you. Johnny just laughed, his hand sliding over your hip as he leaned closer to you in bed.

"I want a bucket of piss dumped on my head if you're doing it." He teased, only laughing harder when you made a face and pushed his hand away for that statement. "Alright, alright. I'll save that for later when I'm writing bit ideas."

"Good. I'll make sure it's Steve-O’s piss, just for good measure." You shot back, giving him a pleased smile when it was his turn to make a face. But, despite that, you reached out and pulled his hand back to your hip, making sure to tuck his fingers underneath the waistband of your underwear as you looked at him pointedly. He clearly caught on, his eyes falling to your lips as the tips of his fingers began to massage the bone of your hip.

"Stay over tomorrow after everyone leaves." He requested softly, moments before he dropped his head down to your neck and began to mouth soft kisses at the line of your throat. You smiled, because that meant that you didn't have to immediately get up and rush out of his house once everyone woke up the next morning.

"Okay." You agreed, letting out a soft gasp as he sucked at a particularly sensitive part of your neck. You could always tell he'd been drinking when he used a little too much teeth in his hickies than what could be considered gentle.

His fingers that were tucked in your waistband had now begun to push your underwear down, his lips not leaving your neck as he got them about halfway down. You were pushing down his boxers at the same time, and as your fingers worked with the fact that he was lying in a weird position, you managed to kick your underwear off and onto the floor from underneath the comforter.

"Stop biting." You whined when he nipped particularly hard at your shoulder, laughing despite and then, in turn, pulling him into a fit of laughter as well. You were never able to get through anything seriously after you’d both been drinking.

"What? I thought you liked that." He crooned as he moved over you, resting on his elbows as he caged you down into the mattress with his entire 6'1 frame. You just rolled your eyes and pulled him into another kiss (so that he'd stop biting you), wrapping your legs around his waist and silently trying to urge him to get to fucking you a little faster. He lifted his head after a second. "Where's the condom?"

"Here." You were nearing the verge of breathlessness as you handed him the condom from where it had almost slipped under his pillow, trying to speak as fast as possible so that you could quickly get his lips back on yours. However, just as he was ripping the foil package open with his teeth and handing you the condom to put on, suddenly the door slammed open.

And, with that, in waltzed Pontius and Steve-O. Drunk off their fucking asses.

"We need a place to sleEp!" Steve-O literally sang each word of his sentence in a high falsetto, and you had about half a second to literally remove your hand from your boyfriend's dick before they were both toppling down onto the foot of the bed. Steve continued his singing. "And everywhere else is takenNn!"

"No fucking way. Get the hell out." Johnny said sternly, not moving from his place on top of you half because he clearly didn't plan on allowing them in the room for long and half because Steve-O was lying directly on top of his legs.

"There's nowhere else to sleep. And we missed you." Pontius whined. They were clearly completely oblivious to what they had just walked in on, and you could tell that getting them to leave the room by this point was going to be like trying to get gum out of hair.

"You just saw us like, ten minutes ago." You sighed in contempt, silently giving up and setting the condom you had been about to unravel down on the nightstand with an irritated huff. Pontius was looking right at you, and his eyes zeroed in on the condom.

"Were you guys about to get busy?" He looked shocked at the prospect, and Steve-O groaned as he heard the words out of Pontius' mouth. You stared at him for a second, jaw set harshly as Johnny managed to get his legs free enough to get off you so that he was sitting in bed next to you.

"Yes. About made it to the main event, too." He grumbled, motioning to the unused condom as he gave both of them a pointed stare. Steve-O let out another disgusted groan, and Pontius sighed like the fact that they'd interrupted you saddened him.

"Damn. That's too bad." And then he laid right back down on the bed, back pushed right up to Steve-O's and head pushed up more so that he was lying directly between you and Johnny in bed. Great. So now there were drunk people in bed with you, and no physical way for you to even get to each other. Just your fucking luck.

"Please. Make yourselves comfortable." Johnny said in a tone that was about the opposite of welcoming, giving you a look that made you worry for Chris and Steve-O’s safety when you would finally all come back to work. He stretched his arm out against the pillows, reaching just far enough so that your cheek could rest in his palm.

"Thanks, dude. You guys are like, the best." Steve-O mumbled in a heartfelt tone. He then reached up and grabbed Johnny's free hand with his eyes closed, lacing their hands together and then just holding them there at Johnny's side. You could only hold a stoic front for so long, and that was your breaking point, causing you to have to muffle laughter in your boyfriend’s palm as Johnny gave him a look to kill. Steve-O then sighed in content. "I love you guys."

"I love you too, bro." Chris replied in a half-asleep haze, reaching out blindly towards him and ending up just half-assedly patting him on the head. They were so fucking ridiculous when they got drunk. It didn't help your laughing that Johnny had just let Steve-O keep holding his hand. He shot you a dirty look.

"I'm glad you're enjoying this." He spoke in a tone full of snark, rubbing his thumb across your cheek despite his clear irritation at the fact that you were laughing at something that was so clearly funny. You wrapped your fingers loosely around his wrist, shrugging it off.

"I'm still sleeping in your bed." You reasoned, forced to talk over Steve-O, who had already fallen asleep and was snoring due to the fact that he was sleeping on his back with his head tilted upwards. Then, to make things a little better, you nudged Chris. "Chris. Come sleep on the other side so I can sleep by PJ."

"Yeah...okay…" He barely even had the strength to reply, but somehow managed to get around you and to your other side so that you could scoot up close to Johnny in bed just as he finished turning off the only light in the room before you threw your arm over his waist. He still looked a little annoyed, but he had been tired before, and being in a warm bed with a lot of warm people probably wasn't helping.

And then, to add on to it, you felt your side being crushed, at which you realized that Chris had just rolled basically on top of you, and was breathing like he had already fallen asleep. You let out an irritated sigh.

"You need to install a lock on your door." Your voice was strained due to Chris' weight, and you didn't even know if Johnny was actually awake enough to hear you, but you had to complain to somebody. However, he was clearly still conscious, because he huffed out a silent laugh.

"Happy first sleepover." He cheered dryly, shifting his arm so that he could slide it under you. His other hand was still in Steve's death grip, but he rubbed your arm with the one that he still had. You wriggled a little bit until you had slid partially out from under Chris and completely in Johnny's personal space, glad that neither of your guests had tried to get under the blankets due to the fact that neither of you still had underwear on.

You knew sleeping was going to suck ass, because there was a good chance that someone was either going to piss themselves or end up invading your personal space even more, but you made peace with your fate, instead trying to focus on the fact that you were pretty sure this was the closest that you had ever been to Johnny in your life.

Which is why, within a few seconds of your eyes meeting, you were kissing again, you rising up onto your elbows from where you had been lying on your stomach with Pontius still sprawled out across your ass as Johnny's hand raked all of your hair back just rough enough to make you gasp slightly. However, that had been a mistake apparently, because soon the silence of the room was being crushed by a ridiculously loud groan.

"Stop fucking making out. I can hear your tongues." Steve-O's beyond-slurred voice followed his groaning, and you turned your head very slowly to glare at my half-asleep friend who we had clearly just woken back up. If you hadn't been trapped under Pontius, you would've reached your leg over Johnny and kicked him in the fucking head.

"Go to sleep, you fucking douche." You snapped, temper rising once more at the copious amount of being interrupted by your cockblocking friends.

"If you two piss in my bed, I'm going to rub your faces in it like bad dogs." Johnny was laughing while he said it, but you didn't doubt his threat, and you knew that Steve-O didn't either. When there was a beat of silence, Johnny sighed in satisfaction. "Both of you go to bed. Quiet game."

Even that was kind of funny, and after a moment of both you and Steve-O giggling at Johnny scolding you like a parent, he shushed you like one, too. After that, it really was quiet besides the sound of Chris snoring like someone was trying to suffocate him. You were kind of glad that it was dark in the room now, because Johnny would've definitely started a fight if he could've seen the way that Chris was sleeping with his head resting directly on your ass. You weren’t sober enough to care, or agile enough to reach behind yourself and shove him off.

"I love you guys so much. Like, for real. I wanna sleep in your bed forever." Steve-O was talking again before it had even been silent for a minute. He was slurring so badly you could barely understand what he was saying, but Johnny was closer, and he responded first.

"Love ya too, you fuckin' asshole. Now go to sleep." He muttered, sighing again and then doing his best to turn into a more comfortable position with both you and Steve-O so close to him. You grinned to yourself as he settled with his chin resting on top of your head.

"I'm not saying 'I love you'. You’re pissing me off." You added onto Johnny's response towards Steve-O, yawning through your words as he began to run his fingernails gently up and down your back. He was going to put you directly to sleep on top of his arm if he wasn't careful.

"Suck a dick." And those were the last words uttered for the night from your lovely friend. You somehow ended up being the last one to fall asleep, which was unfortunate considering you were the only one in the room who didn't snore, but being snuggled this close to Johnny was helping at least slightly.

All in all, your first sleepover was...a failed success. You had met the objective, which was to sleep in his bed with him throughout the entire night for the first time ever, but you hadn't exactly imagined the first time was going to be with two of your shared best friends on either side of you.

But oh well. At least you still had the condom for when everyone eventually left the next morning.

[arenabreadandbiscuits]

What Disney princess or non Disney couples do Radioapple and RadioStatic remind you of.

For me

RadioStatic bottom Vox is Ariel x Eric, or Christine x Raoul

RadioStatic bottom Alastor is Rapunzel x Eugene, Anastasia x Dimitri

Radioapple bottom Lucifer is Snow White x Florian, Odette x Derer

And Radioapple Bottom Alastor is Tiana x Naveen, Megara x Hercules

But what about you ps sorry for rambling

PLS DONT APOLOGIZE

I was reading and ended up having those moments when you hear something really cute and fluffy about a ship that you're on the fence about or whatever and it's one of those moments that really solidifies your secret love for em.

I'm saying I was like this:

You're thoughts for radioapple got me so good, good job 😩✨

For starters though! (Prompts Below!)

Radiostatic: Bottom Vox x Top Alastor

Ariel and Eric for bottom Vox x Alastor is so cute. Like hold on lemme post gifs too but listen to this bruh, like Vox is definitely the one to run off every so often and BAM...what's this creature that walks on...sticks?? Twigs?? Like BROO IM FINNA DRAW THIS LISTEN TO ME

anyway Vox is curious and of course he's told not to go, I'm thinking maybe instead of the family scenario in the little mermaid, Valentino could be like Ariel's father. Like he's always telling Vox about those humans and stuff, to stay away and all that even though Vox feels such a pull.

He goes anyway. "It'll just be for a moment... No one will even notice!" And then he goes out there, builds this thing where watching Alastor go on about his day to day is a lot more interesting then the ocean all of the sudden.

Bro would literally freak out when it comes down to Alastor actually catching him in the act. Like imagine them freezing for a moment and just looking at each other before Vox seems to realize he's been caught and immediately ducks back down into the ocean just so he can fathom it.

"H-He saw me! Holy shit he actually saw me this time!"

"The people", being Alastor. Vox finds that he desperately wants to be so much closer to Alastor and interestingly enough, the feeling is mutual.

Like come on, Alastor saw a mermaid! How could he not want to investigate further?

I'm also thinking something like imagine Alastor having internal moments of like he's feeling like something is missing and just for a splint moment, just as he lets his guard down, he lifts his head with a little smile and casts his eyes up, perking when he's met with another pair of eyes.

Lol, active representation of Vox when their eyes connect before he ducks under the waves below!

BRUH NAH THIS IDEA IS TOO GOOD I MUST DRAW 😭

...

...

Anyway~

Radiostatic: Bottom Alastor x Top Vox

I LOVE the repunzal x Eugene idea too since I know those two better but yo immediately thinking of this scene.

Alastor would be so spooked to find Vox there that this is TOO him 😭😭😭😂 he definitely wasn't playing with Vox at first and then considering Alastor's a deer it's also giving those videos of deers jumping extra hard at something when it spooks them. Immediately on guard.

Thing is, Vox is quite charming, like more so than Alastor would have ever initially thought.

Vox definitely finds himself looking at Alastor like this often after they get along a bit more. Like he's always been able to run around and be 'free', a commitment issue with saying in one place for too long surely, but Alastor's always been...locked up, hidden away and hardly ever exploring the world around them. Vox finds that while their adventures together are CRAZY he really likes that light in Alastor that Alastor has never been given the chance to show others before.

Alastor has always had to be something so much smaller than what he really is and Vox sees it when they run into each other and he doesn't necessarily mean to but he manages to be up for pulling that side out of Alastor.

Imagine Vox being so lovesick while Alastor is still understanding it, like he's patient but he's always there if Alastor actually needs him, always willing to rush to his aid and keep him safe because after everything Alastor has been through Vox is willing to be the peace he deserves. It's all for Alastor in his head though later Vox really comes to the understanding that it is in fact for himself as well because in reality...all he's ever wanted was someone to love who loved him too.

Radioapple: Bottom Lucifer x Top Alastor

Snow White and Florian! I'm telling you you are brilliant.

For one work with me here because Snow White is an older movie so I'm recounting right now and hopefully accurately but Snow White lived on her own with the animals and such before right?? If that's the cause when Lucifer went about his life he did so simply, doing what he loves. Like it's giving that he is a hopeless romantic here, like imagine when he's outside watching the animals be together and find mates he smiles because of course he wishes he could have something like that. A partner and one who adores him.

In the case from earlier where Vox is a lover boy Lucifer here is too but like I said, hopeless romantic. Where basically he continues to wait, wait, and wait even if doing so gets him down from time to time.

Maybe one day someone will come, maybe someday someone will find him and in moments like that he sings because it feels right. What else would he do anyway?

I see a scene in my head that I wanna draw and basically Lucifer is outside, probably sitting in a patch of grass, bonus points if it's flowers and he sings as the sun shines down on him. Animals would start approaching and Alastor would hear it in a distance, hunting though ..he has to know who's singing. He'll follow the singing, careful just as he would be with an animal just in case he spooks whoever it is and then he'll find him. He'll see Lucifer and just stop for a moment as he listens.

Alastor would definitely take a radio with him when he was outside every once in a while just to do so but imagine his face hearing Lucifer sing. He's starting to worry he may never be able to listen to the radio again without thinking of the mystery man who loves the animals.

It probably leaves him thinking a lot. He must leave him be.. no, no. He must talk to him! Alastor probably would be conflicted on whether he wants to get closer or pull away and act like he never heard anything to begin with.

Imagine he does decide to leave at first but he just keeps coming back later like he can't help but find this beautiful man who sings in the woods every time Alastor goes. Definitely would be a really good slow burn honestly but they definitely would find each other later and Alastor is so careful with Lucifer, easy with him and as they grow together it just feels right.

Radioapple: Bottom Alastor x Top Lucifer

I'm finna eat this up so good. Both Meg x Hercules and Tiana x Naveen are amazing ships for how I think this dynamic between them would go.

Lucifer is so witty and charming so moments like when Naveen was walking out playing his little guitar and stopped for a moment to like wink or whatever at Tiana and the moment when Hercules was at the waterhole and smitten but Meg and the two scenes that jump to mind thinking of Lucifer x Alastor here.

Like Lucifer probably shows more of his fun loving nature here, like he works for himself but he's really just chilling, not particular goal in mind though he does have dreams and ambitions. Pfft frog Lucifer x Frog Alastor needs to be drawn or something because the back and forth that Tiana and Naveen had was top tier Radioapple 😩😭

YOOO THIS IS SO YHEM IDC IDC

Like I always thought that in the movie even before they turned to frogs, that it was interesting that Naveen and Tiana had that moment. It was giving accidentally soulmates or something along those lines because in the cause of radioapple, Lucifer probably seen Alastor at that moment and thought he was cute so tipped his hat and grinned and Alastor rolls his eyes and it's just that. Lucifer doesn't push for anything more and then BAM they run into each other again later and have to deal with each other.

Lol and we saw in Princess in the frog later how when they were frogs Naveen and Tiana had their disputes and such when trying to turn back human and Alastor and Lucifer would literally be the very same way 😂

Same in the concept of them being like Hercules and Meg. With both ships Lucifer is the witty charming love interest and Alastor is the hardworking other who isn't necessarily searching for love but it finds him anyway.

Like they definitely have their moments of arguing but they work so well together when they actually choose to do so and Alastor finds himself being more and more drawn in by Lucifer's presence as they spend time together.

Really it's Alastor having to trust Lucifer and Lucifer having to prove that he's trustworthy but once Alastor lets him in everything else seems to be history.

Imma leave it here for now but I hope y'all like the read! Ask box is open and I'm still healing so commissions are always welcome.

Drawing requests are 4/5 if I believe so RN and I'll post Wips of current art later ^^

[inboxinspirations]

60 Lyrics Starters: Limp Bizkit Edition

"I'll probably never understand."

"We're done."

"Why, why you gotta be like that?"

"You're so stuck in your head don't even know!"

"I'm so sick of the world now."

"And who gets the blame? Me."

"You're so sweet."

"What's the matter with the life that you're leading?"

"Is that the excuse you use to ruin me?"

"Who the hell let you through?"

"Can't you just let me be, you leech?"

"Some things are making me so sick inside."

"I came into this world as a reject."

"Why did it take so long?"

"Just leave me alone."

"Everything is fucked."

"You better watch your back."

"I feel like shit."

"Give me somethin' to break."

"You're no good for me."

"You think that everybody's the same."

"Don't even come around here askin' where my cash is."

"Take your ass and get a job, like you should, jerk!"

"You said you'd pay me back."

"Everyday is nothing but stress to me."

"I can't seem to do anything right."

"Bring it on!"

"What's that? I didn't hear you."

"You act like you don't know me."

"Just what the fuck are you thinking?"

"I feel disgusted and you should too."

"Show me what you got!"

"This pain in my stomach won't go away."

"Do you know where you are?"

"Why is everybody always picking on me?"

"I'm sure I'll be seeing you again, cause this world is really small."

"Someday you'll see things my way."

"You are my favorite motherfucker!"

"Now I know why you wanna hate me."

"It'll be okay."

"It's all just more giving to you and I'm done."

"You want nothin' at all to do with me."

"I'm losing my mind and I know there's no remedy."

"Wait, please wait for me."

"I've never needed anything."

"I'd like to thank you."

"Ain't it funny how time flies, huh?"

"Forgive me."

"Don't tell me how to keep my composure."

"Something's not right."

"You know, I lost my place a long time ago."

"Don't label me a monster."

"I don't give a fuck what none of y'all people think."

"I've had enough drama."

"You don't wanna be my enemy, I promise you."

"I can't escape the tragedy."

"I just wanna be okay."

"Let me see you smile."

"You fuck up everything."

"I know you've been hiding things."

[lmaonade]

What about the LOZ franchise do you like? What do you feel makes it a real LOZ game?

rant under the cut i guess. i would also like to mention it's Not That Serious. im sure i sound tonally mad or whatever but im just giving my opinion. at the end of the day i don't have to play games i don't like, and i don't

fun and unique item progression, more memorable music, characters that have some substance, the entire game's interesting events not fucking taking place in a flash back. all the cool shit that happens in botw/totk happened in the past. it feels like im playing in the shadows of what could be a good zelda game, but the open world mechanics and lack of interesting items to use is just boring. making ur own weapons in totk stops being fun as soon as you leave the starter island and realize the map below is a lot of the same stuff

for every 1 "oh woah this is super interesting" moment i had playing that game i had 10 "meh... ok" moments

also something i've complained about before is since the magic of botw has worn off, totk doesn't feel as fun to explore. everything feels familiar and none of the rewards i get feel worth it. i can do some special feeling cave, that leads up to what feels like it'll be something cool just to get some damn opal. or a totally rusted claymore... and you might argue "jamie it's not about the reward it's about the journey" but when your journey quite literally leads to a treasure chest it is disappointing to just get fodder items i have 16 of already lol

i think some franchises benefit from maintaining somewhat linear progression, and most of what i like about old zelda games (finding a new item that will help me progress in the dungeon, and acess new areas out in the world, and to defeat the -somewhat gimmicky but still fun to do- boss) are just absent and lost in the "go anywhere" nature of it. it's not just zelda though, there's a lot about soulslikes that was lost to me with elden ring going in the open world direction, though to me ER does a much better job of maintaining the feeling of from's previous rpgs