#this is such a long post and for SUCH a shitty concept
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something something the fear of being vulnerable
#don’t look at this for too long i’m feeling shitty about my art so i’m trying to draw and post more to get through it#if i had a nickel for every time i drew saeyoung handcuffed from saeran’s after ending i’d have two nickles. you know the rest#idk why i feel less like a perfectionist when drawing angst. idk maybe i think the flaws and concept are strong enough to carry it#as opposed to feeling like i have to make everything look Nice in other art#anyway my pathetic sopping wet meow meow#707#saeyoung choi#my art#art#mysme#mystic messenger#mysme seven#mm seven#tw injury#? idk i’m not great at tagging this stuff#mm 707#707 fanart#mysme fanart#meow :3
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eusgahhhhh goddddd the lazy urge to just beg the internet to mansplain killer's lore to me in baby talk so i can finally GET IT and then the other less appealing urge to actually do an analysis on him so i can form my own opinion and observations. fucj
#im so tired maaaan eudgahhhhhh#i need to come up with more asks to ask people#because apparently i want to do that now. whats wrong with you brain why do you want this#im so TIRED i could EAT a WHALE!#i need to DO IT. I NEED TO ACTUALLY DO A FUCKING KILLER ANALYSIS ITS BEEN TOO LONG#thanksgiving break is coming up will that be enough for me to want to study him with my magnifying glass#this feels like sans and papyrus are the energy controlling angel and demons on my shoulders#speaking of classic undertale this has actually nothing to do with undertale LMAO#but i can just imagine myself as chara in the murder time trio fangame fight#aaaahahahahahaha horror would be so maaad <33333 i DID just destroy his entire au after all :333#and dust would be FURIOUS!!! BOTH OF THEM!!!! SO PISSED AT ME!!!!#i just took away one's place of achieving a goal and another's place of demented comfort#yeaaaah those two would be SO pissed heehehehehehe#horror never gets to have his potential happy ending because i took it away#dust never gets to honor all those he killed and put an end to what he did because of ME#the murder time trio fangame concept is SO underrated guys. touken-kamui's mtt is AMAZING#and because i look like a chara of course killer's got an entire internal conflict going on#FUCK alright sure. unsure of where this thought process will lead but we ball. me when thinking about anything killer related (i am unsure)#ANOTHER fucking chara messed up his life eruaghhhh and to make things worse they dont even seem to LIKE something new#touken-kamui's chara seems to be a megalomaniac instead of a shitty sadistic scientist#i would look so similar to the one that he doesn't know if he hates or not#should he fight alongside these 2 strangers or should he submit like he always did to his chara. to this NEW chara???#and this is all just assuming this is that 1 ending where killer kills chara and hasnt met nm yet (my favorite ending)#EFUAGH!!!! would killer stay back after the first few minutes. let dust and horror fight in steed of him as he deals w this#the two would be SO annoyed at him too. at this point if i wasn't there they'd probably kill eachother. or killer#well killer can't save or reset in the judgement hall that we got sucked into#so he actually has to put some value to his body and life if he wants to fight me#SEE WHAT I MEAN TOUKEN-KAMUI'S MURDER TIME TRIO IS AWESOME!!!!!#tricule rant#this got totally off topic from what the post was about but i should do it
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I wish the denmark joke has stayed dead. it is literally the most unfunny asexual joke we got.
#text#it was only funny at it's first conception of “there is the same percentage of ace people as there are people in denmark”#because in general hearing that of itself IS funny#but once it turned into “let's invade” and shit it became very much less funny#idk i don't find the idea of “Asexual army” or invading a real life country to be that funny?#like this joke died for a reason and now ppl brought up back and it's just....it's never been THAT funny guys#ik some ppl have brought up the problematic idea it tends to represent and like idk im not super well versed on that argument#but even then if it's true that there is no problematic element it is still not as funny as people think it is#it's kinda annoying#yes this is because someone turned my actual funny aromantic post into a shitty half-baked aces invade denmark post#they got blocked because they also had haz/bin hotel icon and i was feeling extra mean#anyways denmark jokes are stupid and probably the sure fire way for me to just dislike you and block u at this rate#signed an ace who has been here too long and is sick and tired of this shit
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I HAVE FIVE PAGES. LEFT. TO DRAW.
#i don't want to jinx it AGAIN but tomorrow........ i might have adhd meds#should the fucking stars align#vacillating wildly between#okay tangent but that “draft saved!” thingy that shows up ON TOP OF THE TAGS I AM CURRENTLY TYPING#DO YOU FUCKING MIND#anyway#vacillating wildly betweennn#there's no way you really have adhd you're using other peoples' struggles to justify being a shitty person#and okay time to draw i just need to look up every person i remember from elementary school on facebook#oh yeah name redacted has a beard that suits him so time to draw oh and name redacted IS cool even tho my shitty brother said he was like#a huuuuuge stoner well i didn't believe him anyway#time to draw i just need to find out if mika is on tour and if he's coming to canada and read his entire wikipedia page and time to draw#i just need to listen to his new song but the song youtube is playing next is not the vibe but i DO need to see a giant spruce beetle#not a cool giant beetle the kind that make a clicking noise and pinch you and strike a visceral fear into my heart#and i need to rewrite this later scene because i was thinking about it and thought of something better#and time to draw but first i need to write this tumblr post#this is because netflix doesn't have himym on there anymore#the concept of talking about himym ends all rambling bc i could talk about it for so long i don't even know where to start#thanks for coming to my ted talk
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Trying? Trying??? By learning. By succeeding!
(about this and my text under the cut)
this is very nice actually thank you so much <3 <3 and like, i probably do need to give myself more credit in general but also i am still very much learning and stumbling and figuring digital art out (and for the most part it is so fun)
I’m gonna ramble about this a bit so bear with me and also i apologize lol, but that art was done after a month of getting increasingly more frustrated with everything turning out so badly and eventually realizing that I was trying to 1. copy a certain look/style that i’ve internalized is what fanart and digital art should look like and is very far away from my style/comfort zone 2. i was trying to do everything digital allows without being comfortable with it or understanding it
so (and this took me a month to realize ? ??) i did what i already knew from doing acrylic and oil painting in the past and could somewhat easily transfer to digital without having to know more than the basics, like i didn’t use a lot of the things digital provides or allows for. i used layers for my own peace of mind but without actually needing them and did some color adjusting (honestly, the color adjusting digital lets you do is such a blessing to me) but the only fancy way i really utilized the medium was making it a gif (which is so fun and a lot easier than i would have thought, like honestly watch me make any future art into gifs too) but there are so many things you can do with the medium with settings/effects, different brushes, tools to use in the process etc that i just do not understand what they are or how to implement them so i am very slowly learning digital art as a whole new medium rather than just being able to use it to adapt what i already know
#sorry you just wanted to say a quick thing and i went on a whole rant (welcome to my blog tbh)#like i'll watch tutorials and they'll be like 'and i just did an overlay and then a multiply layer in a good color (:' and im like ??? wdym#'a good color' what color is a good color? like i can put those effects on my work but that's just me clicking a button without knowing wha#will happen really and like i watch speed paints and see them do stuff and im just ? HUH? what was that and why?#i also do not understand a lot of these concepts with traditional art tbh like people will talk about under paintings and im like yeah sure#i hear you however i also do not- i just place a color where it should be and that's that which i know is why my colors often don't feel#cohesive which is also something i need to learn which is blah- im basically just saying i actually do not know any theory or technique#even with traditional it is all just vibes and hoping for the best which in the long run just makes me very confused about what i am#actually doing and not confident at all i'll be able to do it again so u know#we're out here literally just raw dogging art without any thought#but it's also just i do not need to do all those fancy things but i would like to understand them and i am excited to see my progress now#i just really had a shitty month of making ugly things up until now okay so i was a little fragile when i posted that#but people have been so so nice about it and ive been crying for two days straight#also people have been so lovely about the colors and colors are deadass the hardest part about digital like with paint you often buy a set#that already match and then mix them if needed and they'll look nice together but with digital you're just on your own- no training wheels#ask#anon
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i think—after writing saudade, my dislike for remus has become much more…clearer?
like, it’s definitely not the fact that he didn’t do anything to help sirius that bothers me. it’s pretty clear he had no power or resources to do anything about the fact, especially if even dumbledore didn’t do anything.
but the fact that he believed sirius to be at fault? or atleast, capable of betraying james? that he supposedly didn’t make any attempts to say, go see him in azkaban? that he acted exactly the same as everyone else in the WW who either didn’t know these two or only barely did? kinda terrible, tbh.
(and like, not to make it transactional or anything, but j&s did *so much* for remus; went above and beyond for him and…this is what he’s like in return? yikes)
#remus lupin#remus is like. such a shitty messed up character in shitty messed up situations#and the thing is—i can even empathise with some of his actions lmao#i too am someone w no energy or motivation to do things when it gets tough#things in motion stay in motion unless an outside force acts#except the motion is depression ykno?#but my god remus. just. a little faith could’ve gone a long way ykno?#imagine sirius escaping azkaban and knowing that there was atleast one person who always believed in him#and it’s the person who knows him best other than james#except what does he get?#betrayal betrayal betrayal#and yah i see those posts ab how remus was probably manipulated into it by dumbledore and all#but like. all of that is conjecture and depends on ur conception of him#but at the very core of it all—he didn’t believe in sirius. he thought he was capable of betraying james.#and can there really be a greater crime than that?#but also!!!!! it’s so shitty from james’ pov too!!!!#and now i’m thinking particularly of those fics where james or the potters come back#and take everyone except remus to task for their treatment of harry#and it’s one thing if it’s acknowledged and moved but most times it’s never even brought up???#that remus never contacted harry????#even after poa???#like dude. that guy messed up a lot lol#saudade was just one way for me to come to terms w it#i still don’t think i like him—particularly considering his most ppl write him#but it was still fun#pen’s notes
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sorry for saying I was going to do things and even starting them and then disappearing from this website entirely for three days. It will happen again
#Nothing new. Tbf I’ve done this a lot#I would say I’m focusing more on school and my personal writing but that’s more of a fucking lie than full truth#I genuinely have felt sick to my stomach posting here for whatever reason#Guilt shame anxiety paranoia etc etc you get the point. I feel like shit with no valid reason as to why#So for now I’m going to stop doing the thing that makes me overly emotionally sick to the point I have actual physical reactions????#Yeah that’s the logical course of action. Might post small personal anecdotes and doodles and such to give off the vague energy that Im fin#But beyond that I quite literally can’t. I sat down and thought about writing this post and immediately broke down#I don’t know why I feel guilty over having inconsistent motivation for putting up shitty writing on a website for strangers to see#But I do and k think the only good way to get past that is this. Gotta stop acting Impulsively it’s ruining my fucking life man#There’s only one other thing that I’ll thank Eloise for#and it’s for getting me off of tumblr long enough to realize that I desperately need to get help#This is fucked I fucking hate it. I might be online if k can bare the possibility that people can see this#Namely people I’ve grown attached to in concept#Idfc at this point. it doesn’t change much about how things have been going for the past year#Vent#S.K explains that things never really got better they would just suck less for short periods of time
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sry but people get way too serious abt crowsquirrel maybe people don't make art for it because they literally think it would work perfectly in canon maybe they think sassy girl x emo bitch is a funny dynamic. maybe they headcanon them as dating for a while then crashing and burning later down the line. maybe they just like writing au fanfiction WHO CARES if it's ooc, not every single drawing is supposed to be a deep character statement that speaks Truth to canon, sometimes its just fun to play with character like dress up dolls it literally does not matter 😭
#like 'um this wouldn't work in canon' who cares bro#'ur basically saying squirrel just needs another man' again. maybe it's not supposed to be a statement#or they make the argument that crowfeather is shitty so it'd be bad for squirrel. again are you familiar with the concept of fanfiction and#AUs not always being perfectly realistic. I've seen basically nobody write crowfeather as being#shitty towards squirrelflight in their fanfics and fanart so why does it matter???#we all know it wouldn't literally work in canon (especially young crowpaw and squirrelpaw) but that's not the Point#I don't think leaf and moth would work well as a couple in canon but I'm not gonna make posts saying it's bad#to draw and write fanfics for it???#that would be fucking stupid bc it's AUS it's not supposed to line up perfectly with canon#it's fine to hate it and even make posts abt it but talking shit under people's art or making posts IN the tag?#actual weirdo behaviour lmao leave people alone#it literally doesn't matter if someone takes a character and makes an AU where they're a nicer person than they are in canon#maybe they think it's more compelling than canon. why do you care so much#as long as they aren't saying 'this is exactly what this character is like in canon' WHO CARES like. lmao#it's not that serious my friend some people who make AUs are aware that it is in fact an AU
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tom,
why must you talk about all of the relateable life experiences that i have
why
youre the only one who really understands me, tom
and for that i thank you
*waggles slug off of foot*
What are your icks? 🐌
#tom will no longer date this slug#if we really must insist on having to learn stupid annoying new internet words#never read the comments#i refuse to be obligated to learn and know idiotic new concepts invented by people trying to make extra work for me and for tom#its so much better having tom talk about slugs#look what we almost could have lost#well but on the other hand#now im imagining tom sitting across from prettily-dressed little slug in a cafe#gently and caringly telling it#i'm awfully sorry but i just dont see this going any further#its not you its me#dear slug we all must accept sooner or later that we cannot have tom#his lovely interviews and work are nevertheless still there and you will be all right dearest slug#hot cocoa will help too and before long little sluggy#the sun will shine on you again#cue shitty listicle post on shitty slug garbage culture website:#Heads Up Slugs: Dating Someone Solid & Dry? These 8 Common Mistakes Could Be A Huge Ick#3: Don't Get Underfoot#“I dated an amazing guy named Tom for two months and we were having a great time” recalls Sonya.#“But after stepping on me barefoot on a cold dark night he just seemed... distant after that.”
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It's Hard to Believe | Jungkook One Shot
Summary: Getting pregnant with your best friend's baby definetly wasn't a part of the plan... Pairing: f!Reader x Jungkook (fwb, f2l) Word Count: 2.7k Warnings: A tiny bit of explicit and suggestive language but nothing crazy a/n: This is something I started writing at like midnight and it's kinda shit but I thought I might as well post it since I haven't posted in a while (Like five days short of a month wtf?!?!? How has it been that long?!?!) (I just barely checked rn lmao my bad 🥲) p.s. I kinda wanna do a full on series on a concept like this but it'll be different and less fluffy but that won't be happening for a long ass time but yeah lol Requested by a lovely anon 💜
"How am I supposed to tell him?" I ask my friend Sam for the millionth time since I found out. "Y/n just tell him. You guys have been friends for how long?" she asks and it's like I'm having deja vu from both of our responses. "Like ten years" I mumble and pull my sweatshirt sleeves down over my hands in an effort to stop my nervous fiddling but it only makes it worse.
"Right and you guys have been messing around with each other for over a year now, maybe even more...I don't wanna know" she says while holding her hand up in a way to assure me that she doesn't need the details. "Just tell him. If he's as great of a guy as you keep on telling me he is then I promise everything will be okay" she says and places a hand on my shoulder before she gets up off my couch.
"Where are you going?" I ask while she shrugs on her jacket. "Didn't you say he's supposed to be here around five?" she asks and I nod my head, checking the clock and seeing that it's already 4:30.
"Yeah...are you sure you don't wanna stay and say hi?" I ask and she glares at me. "Let me know what his response is to that bun in the oven and then we'll talk. I wanna figure out if he's an asshole or not before I decide to waste anytime on him" she says while lacing up her shoes.
"Promise me you'll tell him tonight?" she asks and lifts up her hood, getting ready to shield herself from the pouring rain outside. I nod my head reluctantly, that being way more progress than I've made for the past few weeks since I found out. "I promise" I utter under my breath and she smiles, pulling me in for a bone crushing hug.
"Text me if you need me" she says, worried for what might happen but hoping for the best. "I will...thanks" I whisper and she nods her head before walking out of my door and turning slightly and waving to offer me one last farewell.
I close the door after I see her get into her car and lean my back up against it, steadying myself for a second and taking deep breaths, trying to stop my racing heartbeat before pushing off of it and tidying up before Jungkook gets here to distract myself.
Sam has been the only one I've been able to count on and honestly the only person I can trust since I haven't told anyone else. She was the one I called when I missed my period and she's the one who brought me a pregnancy test...and then when out and bought me ten more because I couldn't actually grasp the concept that I was pregnant...am pregnant.
Jungkook and I have always been careful and taken all the necessary steps to keep this from happening but I guess we got careless this time.
Through out this whole arrangement we've made it very clear to each other that we're not sleeping with anyone else but neither of us are looking for any sort of commitment either so that's why this has gone on for so long.
Like it or not though we're going to be committed to each other in one way or another no matter what because I'm keeping this baby. No matter what he says I'm keeping them.
Jungkook is my best friend, the one person who has been there for me through everything. He's seen me at all of my highest highs and especially at my lowest lows and no matter what he's never made me feel shitty about it. I know he's not the kind of guy that'll turn on you because of something like this but I can't help but still feel terrified.
This wasn't supposed to happen but even if this child wasn't made with love from his side...it was made with love from mine.
I don't know how long it's been since I fell in love with him but I know I shouldn't have said yes to this whole fuck buddy ordeal. I just couldn't stand the thought of him being with someone else so when he offered up the idea I said yes.
I figured that if this was a way to prevent him from getting his heart broken by all those sorry excuses of girlfriends he's had in the past then I guess I'll be okay with breaking mine.
He's been acting different lately though. He's been a lot touchier, asking to come over more often, going out of his way to help me with things, offering to feed me all the time and all of it is making me feel like he already knows.
Does he know? Have I started showing already? I haven't really noticed a difference in my body yet but he looks at me naked a lot more often than I pay attention to myself naked so I mean I guess he could've noticed right?
Only one way to find out though...
A half an hour later I hear him take out his keys and unlock my door and soon I'm greeted with a smile that tugs at my heartstrings.
"Hi baby" he says, using that pet name he's become very fond of since this whole ordeal started. The sound of it after finding out I'm pregnant with his baby has made me a little uncomfortable though since I haven't told him yet.
Don't get me wrong I love it when he calls me that but I can't help but think that if this goes south that he won't ever call me that again.
Maybe the hormones have started to scramble my brain already because those uncomfortable feelings are quickly thrown away when I take in the sight of him after he shrugs off his rain coat. A simple black baggy hoodie and jeans engulf his form and the comfy sight just makes me want to curl up in bed with him and forget about everything and everyone.
Just him and I, it's always been him and I. I just don't know if this little one is going to change things.
I place a hand on my stomach for a second as a way to gain some strength from my itty bitty baby before finally working up the courage to greet him.
"Hi" I greet him softly, walking over to where he's stopped to take off his shoes and when he looks back up at me he smiles again and kisses me. I sigh into it, savoring it for just a little bit longer and when it finally breaks he looks down at me with concern now written all over his face.
"Are you okay?" he asks, sensing that something's off right away from the just the small change in the way I kissed him. I hesitate for a second then simply hold out my hand for him to take and he does, following behind me as I lead him over to my couch.
Getting this over with sooner rather than later is my best option right now so there's no reason to delay.
He needs to know, he deserves to know.
We sit there in silence, longer than he would like us to since I can tell how tense his body has gotten in a matter of minutes. "Y/n you're scaring me" he whispers, not wanting to pressure me but relaying his feelings.
I take a couple more deep breaths before finally starting. "I need you to listen to me and I need you to please not speak until I'm finished" I say while looking down at my lap, not being able to meet his eyes.
He murmurs a soft 'okay' and waits for me to continue, taking one of my hands and placing it in his lap. He needs some form of physical contact to keep him grounded since he's not too sure what to expect and I let him, knowing I need some reassurance too.
Even if I don't know what his reaction is gonna be, in this moment I need it more than ever.
"I guess there's really no right way to go about saying this because this wasn't supposed to happen so I'm just gonna come out and say it..." I start off and he squeezes my hand, encouraging me to keep going.
"I missed my period...over a month ago...and I haven't had it since then" I say and finally look up at him where he has an unsure expression. It's not one that's mad or disappointed with what I've said thus far which is a good thing but more like he's trying hard to hold himself back so he can keep that promise.
His hold on my hand hasn't loosened, in fact it's gotten even tighter and that gives me hope that we'll work this out so I take another deep breath before continuing.
"I tried to kid myself into thinking that it was late but when another week passed by I got nervous. I asked Sam to get me a test and it came out positive. I didn't believe it and thought it was a false positive and so to ease my mind she went a bought ten more from a bunch of different brands and...all of them came out positive" I say and he still looks at me with that same expression, waiting for me to give him the okay to speak and so I do.
"How long have you known?" are the first words out of his mouth and although they're not negative they aren't necessarily positive either. "About a month now" I say and he nods his head, taking another second or two to formulate what he's gonna say next.
"I'll support you no matter what you decide" he says and I let out a breath I didn't even know I had been holding in. "I wanna keep it" I say and he nods his head and smiles softly at first and then as the seconds go by it gets wider and wider making my heart beat faster.
"Am I allowed to get excited now?" he whispers and I can't help but chuckle as tears start to prickle my eyes and give him a nod. "You're excited?" I say, my whole being slowly overcome with emotion.
"How could I not be?" he scoffs playfully but that answer has me confused. "But Jungkook we're not together. I mean we're not in a relationship, we're just friends" I explain and there's a playful glint in his eyes after I say that that's making me even more nervous.
"You wanna know what I thought you were gonna tell me?" he offers up, slightly changing topics but I look at him in a way to urge him to continue. "I thought you were gonna break up with me" he says and I smile, "Jungkook we're not together. How could I break up with you?" I chuckle in disbelief.
"Correction, I thought you were gonna break up with me before I even got the chance to ask you to be my girlfriend" he says with a grin and my jaw drops, the dots all connecting as to why he's been acting so different lately. "You were gonna ask me to be your girlfriend?" I utter quietly as if we were in a crowed room and I had a secret for just the two of us.
"I had actually planned on asking you tonight" he explains, walking over to where he had placed his backpack on the floor, taking out a bouquet of slightly squished flowers. "Sorry they're all beat up. I forgot and rode my bike over here so I didn't really have any other option but to put them in there" he says almost as if he was nervous, rubbing the back of his neck and it's then that I notice how pink his ears have gotten.
He is nervous
I take them from him and smile, waiting for him to say it but he simply stands there and admires me and I can't help but laugh. "What so funny? I told you what happened to them" he utters through pouty lips which only makes me laugh more. "No, no it's not the flowers it's just that...don't you have something to say?" I ask, calming down my chuckles and when he looks at me with the same confused expression I have to try my hardest to keep the laughter at bay.
"Do you have something you would like to ask me Jungkook" I rephrase it and after a second his lips go from a pout to the shape of an 'O' as he's figured it out. "Oh um, yeah, right. Well I um" he starts off, rubbing the back of his neck again while stuttering and trying to find the words and after struggling for a second I decide to poke fun at him again.
"Jungkook I am literally carrying your child and you're too afraid to ask me to be your girlfriend?" I laugh, giving him a slight reality check which he scoffs at before responding.
"I was trying to remember what I had rehearsed to say to you but now that you're being a little brat I guess you'll never get to know all the nice things I was gonna say" he retorts, his voice suddenly taking on a darker tone that sends a shiver through my body and he smirks when he sees my reaction to it.
He cups my face and rubs his thumb along my bottom lip, making them part and he leans in as if he was going to kiss me but stops just shy of my lips. "Will you be my girlfriend?" he whispers, nudging his nose against mine and making me smile.
"I'll have to think about that" I play coy with him which he chuckles at. "You know if you weren't pregnant right now I would have thrown you over my lap for that smart mouth" he warns and I smile before leaning in and kissing him for just a second before pulling back.
"Yes I'll be your girlfriend" I say and nudge my nose against his as well and before I can register it my back is on the couch and his lips are pressed against mine, the kiss not rushed but full of so many words that have yet to be said and he gives in, not being able to hold it in anymore.
"I love you" he says, pulling back and looking down at me to see my expression which is completely dumbfounded to say the least. "You what?" I ask and he chuckles, "Is it really that hard to believe?" he points out and I guess now that I think about it it really isn't.
"I guess we've both been in love with each other for a while now huh?" I smile and his eyes light up at my round about confession. "Say it" he says, and I can feel my cheeks heating up. I hadn't planned on actually saying those three words to him even though I've felt them for so long but I don't want to hold them back anymore.
"I love you" I whisper and he smiles, "Say it again" he repeats, clearly not believing it just yet. "I love you Jungkook" I say and the little switch up with attaching his name to the end darkens his gaze. "I guess there's no chance in me getting you pregnant a second time right now huh?" he asks, sliding his hand up my thigh and I giggle.
"No I think that's pretty much impossible but the odds are never zero" I say and he rolls his eyes. "I'm trying to tell you that I wanna hit it raw" he states the obvious while rolling his eyes. "I know I know...and the answer is yes Daddy" I tease, testing to see how that word affects him now that he knows.
He tongues his cheek at that making me bite my lip, knowing that's gonna be even more of a trigger word for him from now on. "Daddy huh? Well I guess that title is a little more fitting now isn't it?"
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Obsessed
Pairing: Pro-hero!Bakugo Katsuki x Reader
Summary: Bakugo is obsessed with your ex and it’s driving you up a wall (Inspired by Olivia Rodrigo’s song Obsessed)
Word Count: 4.2k
Warnings: Smut, 18+
A/N: a few weeks ago I saw a post that was about this same concept, and I couldn’t find it to link it here unfortunately. I just thought it fit so well with him that I wanted to write my own take on it. Also this is just comedy, obviously his behavior in this would be problematic in real life so I’m definitely not condoning his obsession.
Minors DNI
Bakugo Katsuki’s eyes danced from cover to cover of every one of the magazines stocked in the stand at the convenience store he regularly stopped at after work. Each one baring a hero with advertisements of their interview inside. He noticed that some of his friends had even made the cover, notably Shitty Hair’s and Racoon Eye’s engagement announcement and a magazine that Dunce Face had recently modeled for.
But there was one specific cover he was glaring at.
His hands crackled.
Fuck it.
He hadn’t hesitated any longer before grabbing the magazine and staring at it with scrutinizing eyes.
Fucking Hawks
That fucking asshole was on the cover of another magazine— as if the other million with him on it wasn’t good enough.
He rifled through the pages, landing on the one that the cover said his interview would be on. It wasn’t one, or two, but four fucking pages long.
He read it furiously, eyes bouncing from each and every word.
‘What would you say is the most rewarding part of your hero work?’
Who gives a crap.
‘How have you learned to balance fame with being a hero?’
Absolute shit question.
‘Everyone knows you have a large female fanbase, so we’re all curious to know why you think that is?’
Because they’re all fucking idiots with shit taste, that’s why.
‘About two years ago you were part of a pretty big scandal when you were seen leaving your agency hand in hand with a hooded woman. Now that some time has passed are you willing to admit that she’s your girlfriend?’
No she was his fucking girlfriend, not that fucking asshole pretty boys—
The magazine blew up in his hands.
”Hey!” The store clerk yelled at the hero, “I don’t care if you’re a hero, you have to pay for that! What kind of business do you think I’m running!?”
“HAH!?” Bakugo puffed up his chest with a sneer as he stormed up to the counter, “MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T KEEP SHIT MAGAZINES HERE IF YOU DON’T WANT THEM BLOWN UP! GET SOME BETTER SHIT! I’M OUTTA HERE!” He yelled furiously at the man before storming out of the store and slamming the door shut, shattering its glass.
The clerk ran up to the door in a rage, screaming something or other at the hero as he stormed down the sidewalk angrily.
He’d probably need to find a new convenience store.
Bakugo continued to stomp his way down the sidewalk as he walked to your apartment. He shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled his phone out, pulling up google.
He found his fingers quickly tapping away at the screen.
Hawks
Picture after picture of that stupid hero came up and his finger swiped through each one as he sneered at his stupid face that even Bakugo couldn’t deny was objectively attractive— not to mention he had this air of coolness around him, making every single goddamned thing he did seem effortless.
Bakugo was seething, passerby’s staring at him in fear as they watched him silently rage on such a beautiful, clear day.
Before he knew it, he was standing in front of your door, shoving the spare key under the mat into the lock.
”Hey, Kat!” You chirped, looking over at him from the kitchen, “How was work?”
“Fine,” he grumbled, walking over to you and taking a peak at the dinner you were cooking. Looked like chicken soup but knowing you and your cooking skills it was probably some amalgamation of whatever was in your fridge. “Couldn’t fuckin wait an hour?”he grumbled— he would’ve cooked for you if you weren’t so damn impatient.
”You were taking too long,” you whined, throwing some celery into the pot. “I got hungry.”
He grunted, reaching for your hips and turning you into him, slamming his lips into yours.
Hawks probably used to kiss you more gently— he could just picture him seducing you into kissing him, making you chase for it.
Not Bakugo. No, if he wanted to kiss you then he was going to fucking kiss you.
You pulled away breathlessly, a hairs breadth away from him, “Whoa— what was that for?”
He stared down at you with hooded eyes.
He was better than Hawks.
He could even prove it.
He turned the stove off and picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder.
”Hey— what are you doing!” You yelped, kicking your legs.
“Bedroom,” he grunted.
”But what about dinner?”
“I’ll fix whatever mess you started in there later. I’m making sure you work up a real appetite.”
* * * *
Bakugo’s hips smacked against your ass sharply, balls hitting your clit with every thrust, each slap louder than your muffled moans in the pillow you clung to for dear life.
One hand gripped the headboard as his other gripped your hip in a bruising hold. He stared at you, hunched over your trembling body as tears clung to your lashes.
Hawks couldn’t fuck you like this— no damn way.
But what if he could— he technically was the number two hero, while Bakugo was still stuck at number 15.
What if he fucked you better?
The thought had Bakugo fisting your hair and pulling you up, freeing your pleasured moans and cries.
”K-Kat— ah, fuck—“
Did you even mean to say his name? What if you really meant to say Hawks’— what if you meant Hawks every single time you ever said his name?
”Tell me you’re mine,” he grunted.
”’M yours— all yours Kat— only yours,” you babbled uselessly. He’d be lying if it wasn’t one of his favorite things about you in bed, given any sort of prompt and you just ran with it.
“Who fucks you this good?”
”Y-you! You do!— You fuck me so good Kat—ah- best cock I’ve ever had—“
He growled, wrapping his arms around you and hoisting you up, now fucking up into you as he held you against him, head lolling on his shoulder.
He bit down on your neck hard, making you cry out as he started sucking on it, sure to leave a nasty hickey behind.
Maybe Hawks would see. He knew neither of you even talked anymore but what if he’s just on patrol, sees you, decides to say hi, and finds that dark bruise right on your neck, sucked raw.
The thought had him bouncing you faster against him, his muffled groans into your neck sounding with your high pitched cries of his name.
He wound his hand down to your clit and rubbed back and forth furiously.
”Oh fuck—“ you sobbed, body arching and trying to get away, but he tightened his arm around you and held you in place.
”Cum pretty girl, cum around the best fucking cock you’ve ever taken.”
You came with a shrill cry, grasping for any part of him you could hold onto.
He came soon after, inside.
He knew he shouldn’t but something about cumming in you sated whatever beast was inside him.
You whined as you slumped into his arms, weak and shaky.
”You promised Kat.”
”Couldn’t help it.”
”Then you’re wearing condoms again.” You huffed as he lowered you down on your side of the bed.
He tsked, “Go on birth control.”
”I’m not fucking with my hormones.”
”Damn woman,” he growled, laying beside you, “I’ll get you a plan B, just quit your whining.”
”You’re wearing a condom next time.”
”Yeah yeah, fine.”
”And go make dinner.”
He pulled you against him, your body curling against him with your head on his chest. “In a second. Lemme catch my breath and help clean you up first.”
You huffed but nuzzled against him.
He liked having you curled up against him but he couldn’t deny there was an ulterior motive to him ‘catching his breath’.
He just really loved the fact that you were laying with his cum dripping out of you right now.
Not Hawks’s cum— Katsuki’s
The rest of the night went as it routinely did for the most part. He fixed the mess of the soup you were working on before eating you out and making you cum three times then fucking you for a second time… then a third time.
And when you thought he was finally done, you went to shower and get on with your shower routine only for him to walk in half way through your shower with his dick hard again.
He fucked you for a fourth time.
All with a condom.
”Seven times,” you breathed as your head hit the pillow. “You made me cum seven times tonight.”
Your limbs were sore, Bakugo had to carry you to bed. Your legs were basically useless now.
“What’s gotten into you tonight— it’s only a Tuesday.”
Marathon’s like these weren’t exactly out of the norm, but tonight felt so unprompted.
He grunted, turning on his side and pulling you against his chest, clinging to you like a Koala.
”I’m not allowed to want to fuck my girlfriend?” He murmured into your hair.
”No… just felt out of no where that’s all.”
”What? You didn’t like it?” He growled defensively.
You rolled your eyes, slotting your legs with his. Everything was always so dramatic with him, “No I liked it. Best cock I’ve ever had, remember?” You snickered.
His arms tightened around you… now he was thinking of the other cock you’ve taken.
”Better than the birds?”
“Oh my god,” you hissed, annoyance dripping from every word, “Really Katsuki? This again?”
”What? It’s a simple fucking question.”
”Yes. Your cocks better than Keigo’s. Happy now?”
Silence filled the room. You thought maybe he dropped it and you closed your eyes.
”Are you just saying that to shut me up?”
”Kat,” you snapped, eyes opening again. “Drop it. I’ve already told you everything about that relationship. Just move the fuck on— I already have.”
He was silent once again.
”Do you still have his number in your phone?”
You cursed to yourself… this was going to be a longer night than you thought.
* * * *
Bakugo stared out the window as you snored lightly in your sleep, burying his nose in your freshly washed hair.
He couldn’t sleep knowing he was laying in the same spot Hawks once had.
Did he used to hold you just like this too?
When you mentioned your ex in past conversations he had thought nothing of it. You were a civilian, your life was normal, he always figured this ex you mentioned was some boring ass nine to five guy that put the most generic shit in a dating profile like ‘Favorite Hobby: Traveling’.
Of course Bakugo would be better than that guy.
Come to find out you were in a long term relationship with the number fucking two hero.
What the fuck was it about you that attracted high ranking heroes of all people.
Like yeah you were cool and fun and magnetic and didn’t take shit from anyone— you were even able to go head to head with him in a screaming match which shouldn’t have been as attractive as he found it. Not to mention how fucking hot you were…
Okay fine, Bakugo thought you were goddamned perfect any man would be a fucking idiot if they didn’t find you any less than perfect like he did.
But still.
Number fucking two.
Hawks had always been cool and collected, saving people every day without lifting a finger. He dominated the skies and had a trail of girls drooling after him. The media loved him— everyone loved him.
Bakugo on the other hand… not so much. How could you go from someone like Hawks to Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight.
From number two to number 15.
One day he would become number one but he still wasn’t quite there yet.
Ever since he found out he had found himself thinking of the hero more than he ever had before. Hawks dominated every second of his life.
Is he still friends with your friends? Is he good in bed? Do you ever think about him? Is he easy-going? Not controlling like Bakugo sometimes could be?
Oh god.
He had issues.
* * * *
“Y’know they were in love,” Bakugo practically gagged.
Kirishima side eyed his friend.
He was seriously over talking about Hawks every single time he patrolled with Bakugo.
”Isn’t she in love with you now?”
”That’s what she says,” he grumbled.
”You don’t believe her?”
”No, I believe her. I just think she’s confused.”
He was really starting to lose it, huh?
”Don’t you think,” Kirishima started, choosing his next words carefully as he waved at a little kid they walked by, elbowing Bakugo to do the same. “It’s unhealthy to think about your girlfriend’s ex this much? It’s been like two years since they broke up hasn’t it?”
”19 months and three days.”
Oh boy.
”Okay… have you tried talking to her about your obsession—“
”IT’S NOT A FUCKING OBSESSION!” He suddenly exploded, hands crackling. “WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT!���
Kirishima didn’t even flinch as he screamed, instead offering an apologetic smile to the civilians on the sidewalk. “Maybe because you started asking how he is in bed after you two had sex?”
”SHUT UP SHITTY HAIR, NO ONE ASKED YOU!”
“So you haven’t talked to her then?”
Bakugo growled in response.
”Maybe talk to him?”
Bakugo looked over at his friend, eyes wide as he watched Kirishima walk beside him with his arms crossed behind his head, staring up at the sky. “Talk to Hawks?”
The idea had never struck him before.
”Yeah. Maybe you just need to meet him. You’ve probably just built up this grand image of him that the media keeps perpetuating— he might not be as perfect as you think, they always did say never to meet your heroes.”
Meet Hawks.
Meet Hawks.
Yeah— he could do that.
Bakugo was suddenly blasting away from his friend.
”Hey! We’re still doing a job you know!?”
“I’m working by myself today!” He called out behind him.
Bakugo was on a mission.
He was going to meet Hawks and give him a piece of his mind.
The hero was often spotted perching on rooftops, miles away from his agency as any villain with a brain would know better than to commit a crime right by a hero agency— Hawks’s agency especially.
So Bakugo found himself bounding from rooftop to rooftop, searching the skies for that damn bird— he was also keeping an eye on the city, he was still a hero with a job after all.
But as the sun started to set, Bakugo grew restless, finally deciding to take a break and lay on one of the many rooftops he landed on.
No damn sign of him.
Of course he’d be hard to catch, his whole schtick was being fast.
Bakugo’s eyes narrowed at a cloud that reminded him of bird wings. He wondered if you two ever got up to weird sexual shit with those stupid wings.
His chest felt so damn tight every time he thought of him, like he could explode at any second.
He knew so much useless crap about him now that he read and watched practically every single interview of his.
He was a Capricorn.
His blood type was B.
He was 5’7” and 3/4.
His favorite food was chicken— goddamn cannibal.
He wondered if that was why you were in the habit of cooking chicken for dinner most nights.
You were together for two and a half years, that was a long time to spend with someone. What mannerisms have you picked up from him that he always believed were yours?
He pulled out his phone and pulled up Hawks’s instagram, scrolling through perfect photo after perfect photo of him and reading his replies to fan comments.
Damn bird probably didn’t even run his own account.
He tapped on his tags, scrolling down to one of the many photos that haunted him.
He remembered the news at the time, headlines reading ‘Pro-Hero Hawks Has A Girlfriend’ and ‘Sorry Ladies, This Hero is Taken’.
At the time he couldn’t give less of a shit, but now.
It was all he could fucking think about.
He stared at the photo of Hawks dragging a hooded woman by the hand out of his agency. He scrolled and stared at the second photo of him grinning down at the woman.
It was you all right.
There weren’t any other pictures of the two of you out in public and it irked him. It was like an itch that couldn’t be scratched as he wondered just how the two of you looked together in your relationship.
Did you have any pictures of the two of you in your phone?
That was when the sunlight was completely blocked, blanketing him in shadow.
He lowered his phone and his quirk nearly blew up the device.
Fucking Hawks.
His eyes followed the bird as he perched on a telephone pole near the rooftop.
”There a reason you’re lounging on a roof, hero?” Hawks asked with an amused smirk.
Bakugo only stared— was this real or had he actually lost his mind now?
He raised a brow at his silence, tilting his head, reminding Bakugo of an owl. “You didn’t get hit by a quirk or something did you?”
He suddenly had no idea what to say— he hadn’t actually planned anything out to begin with. He figured his mouth would take over like usual and he’d go from there.
”Wait, I know you,” he suddenly snapped his fingers, “You’re that hero Dynamight.”
”THAT’S GREAT EXPLOSION MURDER GOD DYNAMIGHT TO YOU.”
Hawks blinked at the outburst before he barked out a laugh.
”WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT BIRD BRAIN!?” He shouted, stomping his way over to the edge of the roof.
”Nothing, nothing,” he laughed, waving his hand, “That’s a great name.”
”ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME!” He screamed again, throwing his hand up and blasting off an explosion straight at Hawks.
Hawks’s eyes widened as he quickly darted upwards, missing the attack. “Y’know I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to be on the same side,” he called out, watching Bakugo as he seethed.
”Same side my ass,” he growled under his breath, “Is my girlfriend’s number still in your phone!?”
”Your girlfriend?” Hawks scoffed, “I don’t know who’s been lying to you but I can promise I don’t have your girlfriend’s number—“
”(Y/N) (L/N)!”
Hawks’s face fell, “You’re dating (Y/N)?”
”YES I AM, YOU STUPID BIRD.”
”Alright fine,” he shrugged, “I guess I do have your girlfriend’s number.”
Bakugo screamed as he hurled blast after blast at Hawks, to which he swiftly dodged each and every one.
He stopped, panting as he searched the sky for him as the smoke cleared, only to find the man standing in front of him.
”Is there a reason you’re trying to kill me? (N/N) moan my name while you two fucked or something?”
A fierce rage boiled in him at the nickname, “DON’T CALL HER THAT!”
He began shooting more and more explosions at him.
Hawks tsked.
What a bother— were you really dating this guy?
He sent his feathers straight at Bakugo, each one catching onto any piece of fabric it could without slicing him and another set of feathers sliding off his gauntlets.
He had Bakugo pinned against the rooftop, palms against the concrete.
Hawks walked through the smoke, staring down at the struggling, screaming man with an unamused expression.
He kneeled down. “You’re aware we broke up like two years ago.” He said flatly, this was so ridiculous, he could barely remember what happened the last time he talked to you.
”19 months and three days,” he spat.
“Whoa,” his eyes widened before a grin tugged on his lips, “You have issues huh?” He only laughed as Bakugo continued to scream at him. “You also know she’s the one that broke up with me, right?”
”Of course she did! Because you’re a fucking dumbass who can’t fuck!”
“Can’t fuck? She tell you that? Because I remember her telling me something very different.”
Bakugo saw red, now thinking about you moaning about Hawks’s dick the same way you moaned about his.
He sighed, standing up and crossing his arms over his chest. “Y’know… it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen her. And I suppose I should cut your rampage short. Let’s go on a little trip.”
* * * *
You hummed, dancing around your kitchen while you cooked. Bakugo was late, but that was fine, he probably got held up with hero work.
You knew he’d probably yell at you for cooking dinner without him again but you were sticking to a chicken dish that you had perfected so he could complain all he wanted while eating his deliciously seasoned chicken.
There was a knock at your door.
”One second!” You called out, quickly washing your hands. It was probably the landlord again.
You turned your music off, humming as you skipped over to the door and opened it.
Your smile immediately fell.
Keigo fucking Takami leaned against the wall across your door with your boyfriend, who was currently wrapped up in a bandage capture weapon from his ankles to his mouth, being floated by Keigo’s feathers.
”It’s come to my attention that you’ve lost something,” He coolly stated with one of those grins you used to see on almost a daily basis.
Bakugo was screaming into the bandage around his mouth, not a single word coming out coherently.
Your head fell as you pinched the bridge of your nose, “For the love of God please tell me I’m being pranked.” You groaned.
”Not today sweetheart.”
More screaming ensued. “Alright,” you huffed, “Come in I guess.” You moved to the side, Bakugo being floated into the room first with Hawks following behind, and his two gauntlets floating in afterwards.
Hawks looked around the familiar space, “You redecorated,” he stated calmly, before noticing your neck, “And that looks painful,” he pointed to the ridiculous hickey your boyfriend left on you the night before. He went over to the couch and placed Bakugo down, his feathers finally rejoining his wings.
He immediately rolled off, hitting the ground with a thud as he struggled.
Hawks quirked an eyebrow at him before looking back to you, “Dynamight huh? Little hero magnet aren’t ya?”
You shrugged, “Seems so— this one keeps my hands a bit more full though.”
”Just wait till he finds out about the other hero you dated.”
Bakugo struggled more, smacking his head against the coffee table.
”He’s fucking with you Kat!” You called out, walking over to him, now standing above your restrained boyfriend, “There was no other hero— do you have to rile him up even more?” You snapped at Keigo.
He only shrugged, “He tried killing me so I think that’s fair.”
You groaned, “I’m really sorry about that. I’m gonna talk to him tonight.”
He hummed, “Nothing I couldn’t handle. You look good by the way, it’s nice seeing you doing well after all this time.”
”Yeah, you too,” you grinned, “Hero work going well? I see you on the news almost every day.”
”Better than ever.” He smiled, “I’ll let you attend to him though, I think he needs the attention.”
You rolled your eyes, “Thanks.” You said leading him to the door, “And thank you for bringing him here, I’m sorry again for any trouble he caused.”
”S’alright,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets, “I do have one question though,” he turned, facing you in the doorway, “Did you really tell him I can’t fuck—?”
“Good night Keigo,” you slammed the door in his face.
You walked back over to your boyfriend, watching him roll back and forth between the couch and coffee table as he struggled with the capture weapon.
”Oh Kat,” you sighed, “What am I gonna do with you?”
You sat on the couch, leaning down and yanking the bandage from his mouth.
He said nothing.
You raised a brow, “Really? You had a fuck ton to say when he was here,” you crossed your arms over your chest.
“You were flirting,” he grumbled.
”You tried to kill him? Really? You don’t realize how fucking psychotic that is?”
“… He called you sweetheart.”
”Okay,” you snapped, “This has got to stop Kat. Honestly it seems like you’re more into Keigo than me.”
”That’s absolute fucking bullshit, and you know it. I’m only obsessed with him because of you.”
”So you admit you’re obsessed?”
”What!? No!—I— shut up you fucking idiot!” He screamed, rolling on the floor again to try and break free.
”Okay, how are we gonna remedy this? What can I do to help you get over this? Therapy?”
He stopped, staring at the ceiling, ”… Lemme send him a picture of my dick in your pussy.”
”Absolutely out of the question.” You stated, utterly unamused.
”Sucking me off?”
“Nope.”
”Eating you out?”
”Try again.”
“Mirror pic of us in doggy?”
”Kat—… actually I can deal with that— but only if you agree to talk to a therapist. I love you Kat so I’m really gonna need you to drop this obsession with my ex or I’m gonna have a new one.”
”Fine!” He barked. “Doggy and a therapist.”
You nodded, “Doggy and a therapist— and did you pick up that plan B like you said you would?”
“…damn it.”
* * * *
[New Message… Unknown number]
[1 Attachment]
Keigo Takami: ‘Thanks. I almost forgot what she looked like in that position’
[New Message… (Y/N)]
(Y/N): Idk what you said but I’m begging you to stop riling him up. There’s only so much screaming I can take in one night
Keigo Takami: Good luck sweetheart, I’m sure you’re doing a lot more screaming than he is anyway ;)
(Y/N): Bastard
#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha#bnha#Bakugo katsuki#bakugo#katsuki#bakugo katsuki x reader#bakugo x reader#katsuki x reader#my hero academia bakugo#hawks#hawks x reader#keigo takami x reader#keigo takami#mha takami keigo#pro hero#pro hero bakugou#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#bakugou x you#bakugo x you
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hi hi hi!!! i know you’re working on the bau sleepover buttttt i was wondering if you could write a aaron hotchner x reader fic where like what happened to garcia, reader gets shot and she’s in hospital and they don’t know if she gonna be okay and stuff. her and hotch have this mutual pining for each other and when she gets shot he kinda spirals. after being released, hotch takes her to her apartment and stays with her until they catch him and stuff. i know this is really long, thank you!!!
Some Profiler You Are - A.H
a/n: hi hi hi thank you so so sooo much for requesting <3 i kind of took this a more fluffy route and focused more on the recovery so let me know if you like it :)
masterlist
‧₊˚ ✩°。⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆。°✩˚₊‧
pairings: aaron hotchner x fem!reader
warnings: reader was shot, comfort, angst like a teensy bit, fluff, changing of bandages, kinda shitty ending per usual
wc: 2k
"Do you want to sit down?"
No, you really didn't. After spending the last six hours in a state of near-motionlessness, sprawled across various surfaces, the last thing you wanted was to do was sit down. Your legs had taken on the consistency of overcooked noodles, so you made the grave mistake of misreading the quiet of the house as Hotch's absence, a mistake punctuated by the garage door's sudden rumble.
You should have known better than to assume he would leave you alone for even a second. Now, you were face to face, his scrutinizing eyes boring into yours, arms crossed across his wide chest. He was in a casual zip-up--a rarity that you never imagined him wearing before practically moving in with him. But you really did enjoy this relaxed side of him, he wore it exceptionally well.
Taking work off was a concept you knew was foreign him, yet here he was, not at his desk, hovering over you like a concerned parent. The entire office, yourself included, gaped at him as if he had sprouted a different head when he told them. His next move was even crazier--he insisted you stay with him while you recovered.
You protested. A lot. Shocker. But he wouldn't take no for an answer. Again, Shocker.
You winced as you stepped forward, your hands automatically gravitating to the bandage that spanned around your thigh.
"You can't baby me forever, Hotch," you murmured, though your conviction wavered under the dull throb in your leg.
You braced yourself against the counter, trying to mask the discomfort you were sure was etched all over your face.
Filling the shoes of the communications liaison for the FBI post-JJ's shift to profiling, you signed up for a life of managing the media narrative, being the conduit between local and federal levels, and choosing the cases. You provided assistance in ways that aren't glaringly obvious.
What you didn't sign up for is getting shot.
The movies, the stories, even the firsthand accounts from coworkers--none of it could brace you for the raw, blistering pain of a gunshot wound. It fucking hurt. And the recovery? It was a different kind of torture, and you'd even argue that it was worse.
"It's not babying, it's common sense," Hotch countered.
He was frustrated. You had that effect. He stepped closer, his hand dragging down his face. "You took a bullet. It's still in your leg. It's perfectly rational for me to want to prevent any unnecessary strain on you."
"Feels dramatic," you shrugged, but he was right, like always.
Your grip on the counter tightened, knuckles growing white as you struggled to keep the pain under wraps. His brows lifted in response.
"I'm fine, really, Hotch. I hate this. You're probably dying to get back to work--don't let me be the reason you don't. Despite popular belief, I'm quite capable of fending for myself."
"I'm aware," he said, his attention briefly shifting to your bandaged leg. You were wearing shorts, a choice that felt less than appropriate, but practicality trumped formality under these circumstances. "Work will survive without me. I'm not sure I can say the same about you."
Your laughter was short-lived, swiftly turning into a stifled grimace as your footing slipped. Hotch's reflexes were quick, his hands steadying you--one against your ribs, the other just shy above the hem of your shorts.
"Point in case."
"Poking fun at a wounded woman? Shame on you, Hotch," you chided, your lower lip jutting out in a pout. His eyes darted to it momentarily.
He didn't move, his hands staying put, stirring a gentle, jelly-like feeling inside of you.
This was an odd sort of comfort, the kind you're not supposed to feel with your boss. You shouldn't be talking to him like this, shouldn't be in his kitchen, and certainly, his hands shouldn't be where they were. But the ache in your heart didn't seem to care about shoulds and shouldn'ts.
Hotch's presence was hard to ignore. He was reducing the space with every word.
"You're hardly acting like a wounded woman," he pointed out. "You should be in bed."
You tilted your head, sliding onto the barstool to carve some much-needed space between you. The scent of his cologne was intoxicating, and you needed distance to gather your wits before you did something that HR would definitely not look kindly upon.
The action was a mistake, a fact that became painfully clear as the feeling of something stabbing into your leg took hold. You tried to muster a smile, but you were sure it came across as a snarl. The last thing you wanted was to inflate Hotch's ego by showing that maybe, just maybe, he was right.
"Shit."
You followed his line of sight, landing on the fresh red seeping through the bandage and staining your shorts. Oh. That's not great. Don't think you can fool him with this one.
Hotch didn't hesitate, his response outpacing your own surge of panic, which was incredibly fast, because you were panicking and frankly not that great with blood. His hands were on your skin, easing the hem of your shorts upward to lay bare the wound you had stupidly underestimated.
You're never going on a date again.
I mean, the only reason you even went was to get your boss of your mind. Since the first day, you'd been hopelessly drawn to him--how could you not be?
But there are a couple factors to consider.
Firstly, he was your boss, and the whole notion of a coercive relationship dynamic seemed problematic.
Secondly, there's the age difference; it had never been an issue for you--perhaps a reflection of your daddy issues--but you knew it would raise some eyebrows.
And thirdly, he didn't even like you back. That was, of course, the biggest issue. If not for this, the other concerns could definitely be overlooked.
Before this whole incident, he barely acknowledged you beyond was professionally required of him. You knew you hadn't been part of the team long enough to bond--though you weren't sure Hotch did bond in the usual sense, but the point was made.
You were fairly sure you hadn't made much of an impression on him.
"Hold still." That was a tall order, considering it hurt more than a mother fucker.
You found yourself glaring at him--not that he was to blame, but you needed to anchor your frustration on something, or someone. Unknowingly, your grip had latched on the fabric of his zip-up, but he seemed unfazed. He grabbed a clean cloth from the drawer, pressing it against the wound, only furthering the colorful vocabulary going on in your head.
"Fuck, Hotch."
You didn't make a habit of cursing in front of your superior, but the sharp sting forced tears to the brink, your body going rigid as you snapped your eyes shut.
His other hand found its way to your uninjured thigh, giving it a firm squeeze--a clear attempt to divert your attention. It worked for a second. "I'm sorry, just keep this pressed here, okay?"
He motioned toward the cloth, and you complied, too drained to consider otherwise. Your brows knitted, and you bit into your lip until you tasted something metallicy, your mind desperately racing trying to think of anything other than the blood flowing freely from your thigh.
"Where are you going?" You knew how panicked you sounded as he turned away, stepping towards a cabinet.
He rummaged briefly before holding up a first aid kit. Catching the brief alarm in your face, he quickly returned to your side, his hand finding the crook of your neck as you instinctively clutched at his shirt once again.
"If you dare say I told you so, I swear, Hotch, fists will fly," you ground out through clenched teeth.
He laughed, and now that did distract you, your eyes zeroing in on his perfect teeth. It was a rare display, and it only served to aggravate you further. Of course he had perfect teeth.
"I didn't say anything."
"I could feel you thinking it," you said, your voice rough as you willed the moisture in your eyes not to fall. "Maybe I should be a profiler."
"Definitely."
"Sarcasm doesn't suit you." You were lying. Everything suited him. He stepped back, and you reluctantly peered at the wound, only to find a neatly sutured leg. "Where did you learn to do that?"
"In this job, you learn to be handy with more than just a gun.”
You’d love to know what else he’s handy with.
He pulled your leg up to rest on his as he took a seat on the opposite stool.
Your body was buzzing, from the closeness, from his hands on you, and also from the pain, but you were trying to ignore that. He grabs a new bandage from the counter, hands trailing up your thigh so slowly you thought you might pass out. He was so gentle. There was no other word for it.
"How's it feel?"
You paused. Eyes fully locked on his precise movements as he wrapped you up. You were closer than you realized, practically sharing the same breath.
"Fine."
"Yeah?"
You nodded, and he finished up his task, his hand lightly patting your thigh to show he was done. You didn't move your leg from his lap, and he didn't move his hand.
"I couldn't sleep for three days."
"What?" Your brows were furrowed, your focus sharpening on his face as the words left his lips.
"When I found out you had been shot." He cleared his throat, his thumb making gentle rotations on your calf. "I couldn't close my eyes without seeing red for days. I wanted to kill the son of a bitch who did that to you. I almost did."
You weren't sure how to process this information, or why he was telling you. "You and me both."
"I'm serious." And you could tell he was, his eyes narrowing slightly as his hand firmly encircled around your leg. You felt a lump in your throat form as heat rose from your neck to your ears. "Do you know what that was like? I felt like my heart stopped."
"Why?"
"Why?" It was more a scoff than a word. He blew out a breath, his fingers pinching into the space between his eyebrows. "Is it not obvious?"
Your heart was beating a lot faster. You wanted to say something, anything but your throat was dry and every time you opened your mouth you found it snapping shut.
Hotch's expression softened ever so slightly, his voice low and bouncing off the walls as he spoke. "Because I'm in love with you."
Your breath stalled, as if every ounce of oxygen had been vacuumed from your lungs. The air felt heavy, almost tangible.
You stared at him, heart skipping a beat.
"That's not funny," you said. It wasn't. You weren't in the mood for jokes, and your brain couldn't comprehend he might be telling the truth. "You...you don't even notice me."
He shook his head. "I notice everything about you." His thumb stilled on your calf. "I'm your boss," he said, as if that explained everything. "There are rules, protocols. I couldn't...I still shouldn't..."
The confession stripped the room of its warmth, leaving a raw aching silence in its wake. You searched his face.
"When you got shot," he continued, "I realized that if I lost you, I'd regret not telling you how I feel for the rest of my life."
"Hotch, I..."
He leaned closer, causing your words to catch in your throat. His hand moved from your leg to your face. You were speechless, the world narrowing down to the man in front of you, to his eyes, the warmth of his hands.
"Say something."
"Are you kidding me?" Your heart was pounding like it was trying to escape from your chest. "I've been in love with you since I started. How could you not see that?"
He looked taken aback, as if your words were the last thing he expected. "Well—,"
But you didn't let him finish. "Some profiler you are."
You were practically climbing into his lap, hands framing his face, pulling your lips to his.
He chuckled against your lips, the sound vibrating through you. "Easy," he murmured, "don't make me fix that bandage again."
You laugh, the sound muffled by his mouth. He tasted like cinnamon and coffee. "Shut up, Hotch."
taglist: @hotchhner @khxna
#aaron hotchner x reader#Aaron hotchner fluff#aaron hotchner x fem reader#Aaron hotchner#Hotch#criminal minds fic#Aaron hotchner fic#criminal minds#Thomas Gibson
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Subclass Concepts 5/112
Ershy Abak, Longtooth Shifter Barbarian [Path of the Beast]
The noblewoman watches as her friend is cut down, a growl tearing from her throat. With nothing but animal fury in her eyes, she rips the greatsword from her back and charges the attackers on all-fours, her immense sword cutting a groove into the dirt as she drags it behind her.
Ershy Abak has a problem. Once the proud, competent head of a merchant fleet, she's been suffering from uncontrollable rages. The last of these ended in her throwing a business partner though a window, mortally wounding him. Ershy's husband promised to take care of things while she fled town in search of a cure— but what will he do with the fleet now under his complete control? And why did the rages seem to start only after he and Ershy were married?
[build notes & expanded backstory under the cut]
Background: Guild Artisan (Guild Merchant Variant)
Traits:
It is important to me that things be clean and nice. I take pains to keep my surroundings tidy and homey, and take equal pains with myself.
I have an excellent nose for a good deal, and always stop to haggle if I think a shopkeep is overcharging.
Bonds: I will find a cure for my condition.
Ideals: Fair Dealing. I have always tried to run my business cleanly, and despise huxsters, swindlers, and liars, especially in my rung of society. A penniless beggar trying to trick you out of your copper is one thing; a rich man trying to trick you out of your platinum is another.
Flaws:
I'm a terrible improviser. When a plan goes off the rails, I start to panic & struggle to figure out what to do next.
I was born into, and have lived in, immense privilege, and can occasionally be sheltered and ignorant as a result.
Skill and Tool Proficiencies: Athletics, History, Insight, Intimidation, Investigation, Survival
Stat Spread (Highest to Lowest): STR, CON, INT, DEX, CHA, WIS
Build Notes: Of course, you should really have DEX higher than INT for a barbarian, but Ershy's life as a merchant has left her with a keen business sense that I think it's too fun not to play into a bit. I think the dynamic of someone who's usually very clever, sophisticated, and cunning completely losing her mind and biting the shit out of people in combat would be really fun to play with.
If I were to play Ershy, I probably work with the GM to set Ershy up to multiclass into battlemaster fighter as she got more and more of a handle on her rages and was better able to keep her head on in the heat of the moment. Apart from that, I imagine her as a really standard barbarian. Big old greatsword, using the Longtooth shifter bite ability to get a bonus-action attack every turn she's shifted. I might also want to give her something like Keen Mind or Observant, to play even more into her more bookish past as a merchant.
Expanded Backstory: Ershy was the second daughter of a powerful merchant family. An adventurous child, she expected to grow up to sail the seas as a captain in their fleet while her beloved sister ran the business end of things back home. Tragically, Ershy's sister was killed in an accident- one that Ershy caused- when they were both still teenagers.
Crushed by guilt, Ershy stepped up to take her sister's place as heir, learning her duties inside and out. While it had never been Ershy's passion, she dedicated herself to the work, and developed a keen mind, taking over the business after her parents' retirement. She quietly put away her childhood dreams of adventure, discarding them as the foolish desires of a foolish girl.
Years later, needing to continue the Abak line, Ershy married a fellow merchant- Pryce Lancaster- in order to seal a business deal, consolidate power, and produce an heir. Things were not especially warm between them, but they worked well together, and Ershy- long used to ignoring her desires- set aside her loneliness, as she had long set aside her other wants and needs.
Pryce, a cunning man, noticed this quiet unhappiness, and decided to manipulate it to his advantage. Unbeknownst to Ershy, he had plans for the fleet that didn't involve her [I would leave what these were up to the GM as a way to tie in plot events etc]. What began as simple manipulation evolved into Pryce provoking Ershy sufficiently that the beast in her- passed down by the Shifter lineage- awoke, and she started to go into blackout rages. She was completely uncontrollable in this state, and never remembered what she did afterwards. This gave Pryce an excellent opportunity to tell her whatever he wanted her to believe; with no other reliable witnesses, she was forced to take his word for it. Eventually, just as Ershy seemed poised to discover Pryce's schemes, he set her on a mutual business partner; and, in her rage, she fatally wounded him.
Pryce promised to take care of things with the fleet- and the merchant's family- while Ershy fled the scandal, and she set out in search of a way to manage her rages.
This is where she starts off as an adventurer; looking for a way to cure her condition– but rankling, in some private, long-buried way, against the fetters of her life. She has pushed down every private need and want for most of her life– but the animal in her refuses any longer to be denied. Like a wound spring finally snapping, all of her ugly, unruly desires are bursting free uncontrolled. She needs to find a balance between complete repression and a wild, animal self-indulgence– or Pryce will be left to his dark dealings, unopposed.
#dnd#dungeons and dragons#shifter#barbarian#subclass concepts#ershy#i like her so much lol.#her backstory write-up is actually like twice as long as this in my google docs it was just a bit. excessive for this so i cut it down#my idea for her is her 'rages' are actually probably triggered by ANY sufficiently strong emotion#she's just bottled things up for way too long & didn't learn how to manage anything#so fear or sadness or even like overwhelming happiness = werewolf mode#i do think your character not remembering what happens in most combats would be interesting to play around too#your GM would def have to be on board for this one but i think with a good GM it would be so fun#kinda wanna actually play her lmao#anyway she should get to rip her shitty husband's heart out with her teeth. i think.#long post#it's alive!
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Updated my au's recap to add Tarkin and Krennic :)
And of course I updated The Science
[COMMISSIONS]
(also fixed Sabé's sexuality ! Thank you to the Sabé connoisseurs for letting me know she has a canonical boyfriend at one point ! xoxo)
Yapping below vvv
Welcome to me and my struggle with imperial military uniforms fjdkdkk they just so boring and often khaki-
For Tarkin I took inspiration from a Star Trek concept that I'm so mad isn't a thing in Star Wars... The dress uniform ! The classy, just for show, uncomfortable version of classic uniforms ! (Couldn't believe that wasn't already a thing in sw, but when I searched for it I stumbled upon a sub reddit called "the empire did nothing wrong" and sometimes self care is to not clic on the clearly far right corner of your fandom to look upon a shitty fan made alterations of imperial uniforms 🌸)
Also, I had to make a choice here... Do I make the empire more strict when it comes to gender norms and expectations i.e do I put Tarkin in a skirt gkkgkffn like, I already kinda did that with both Tarkin and Krennic keeping their hair long. But in canon imperial uniforms are unisex and the same for everyone, which is great to like know the imperial military (in universe at least) doesn't do sexism a lot.... But once again, the canon uniforms are a bit boring to draw, they don't have the more classy ones you would wear for special occasions and frankly if you want a side to show more gender inequality would you pick the mismatched rebels fighting for their rights and to overthrow the government, or the established force in power that is also incidentally an empire that took inspirations from a real far right party hmmmmm
Let's look at what I made different about the empire in my au, a) Palpatine is a woman, they have an empress but b) said empress force masced her apprentice and made *him* the figure head of her empire. When you think of the empire you don't picture an old woman in a bathrobe, you picture Vader, a tall muscular cyborg with no face a glowy sword and evil telekinesis.... That is gendered in the masculine (still a dyke tho, but random civilians wouldn't know that- they don't even know if he's human). Having a woman lead a fascist empire doesn't make it better- (in my country, France, the far right party has been lead by a woman for the last 20 years and that doesn't make it fucking better)
All this to say I put her in pants fjkdkd tested with a skirt but it felt too uncanny.
And I also made her stand in the worst position to draw (for me at least) : perfectly facing the camera with a stick up her ass and at parade rest so with her hands behind her back fjkddk I struggled so hard to make it look somewhat good, and I'm still not really satisfied- also Peter Cushing's face with a hat that covers his forehead looks very wrong to me fjfkk
But enough about Tarkin ! For Krennic I also modified the uniform :D (for a second time jfofk link to the first post with another version of her uniform), but hers isn't the fancy version, it's very much her work clothes ! Still trying to distinguish her from the classic military, since she is more of an engineer/architect, so she get heels, slutty white gloves and a dramatic cape coat. Also I loved putting her in a very strict outfit but making it a bit messy in small ways kgfkgj one side of it isn't zipped all the way down, and her hair is coming down from her hasty made bun :)))
PS : one must always picture the death star as the third member of this relationship <3
#this *should* be all of them#let's hope I don't have to edit this again in like 6 months fjfkdk#star wars sapphic au#wilhuff tarkin#grand moff tarkin#peter cushing#orson krennic#director krennic#tarkrennic#star wars original trilogy#star wars rogue one#star wars fanart#star wars#fanart#star wars imperials#toxic yuri#lesbian#art#my art#digital art#wlw
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//sorry guys i know i already posted this but i'm reposting it so the masses can see okay awesome so sorry about this it's rather filthy
oh this is an old man logan fic inspired by colors by halsey you know the one
18+
"everything is gray/ his hair, his smoke, his dreams/and now he's so devoid of color/he don't know what it means."
-colors by halsey
i'm really specifically thinking about a relationship with him that starts out sort of casual-- you're young, spending busy days running around in some office, being some rich asshole's favorite thing to boss around.
but at night, you're his. and perhaps even more valuable, he's yours. sure, he drives people around, but on his nights off, he spends long nights that are too short in the shitty studio apartment you rent. he fucks you into the sheets that used to live in your college dorm room, and you are mesmerized by the gray of his beard (and maybe a little bit by the fact that he has such a beard).
one time, he wears pulls out these reading glasses and--
well--
he's sitting on the end of your bed, fumbling with an old book you wanted him to read. he's never been much of a reader, but he thinks to himself, he's not getting any younger, besides, he keeps you in a part of his heart that he wouldn't ever let anyone in to.
it's a scifi novel, you tell him, all about immigration, and the concept of a world without strict borders. it's a love story, you mention, and yet, it's a war story.
so he pulls out his reading glasses to read the back, and immediately, you're turned on. you can tell he's actually invested in it, the way his eyebrows furrow as his eyes adjust to the new look of the text.
what does take him by surprise is when he realizes you're kneeling between his legs, fumbling for the waistline of his pants, like your god damn life depends on it. his lips twitch into a smile.
"i just filled you up, what, ten minutes ago, and you're already begging for more?" he uses 'begging' because you remind him of a puppy, quietly asking for a treat.
"can't help it," you answer quickly, and before you can ask for anymore, he grips your hair in his free hand.
"what got you so worked up, kid?" you whine at the nickname, trying to pull away now, but his grip on your hair is stronger than your desire to get away is. "tell me." he says it like it's an ultimatum. tell him the truth or you won't be sucking anything.
"your glasses." you confess, and he scoffs, this sadistic sort of half chuckle.
"turned on by an old man's poor sight?" he ponders.
"are you complaining that your age turns me on and makes me want your cock in my mouth?"
he grips your hair tighter, a mean name dancing on his tongue.
"what did your daddy do to you to turn you into such a slut?" and your face burns, maybe with embarrassment, maybe with lust.
"fuck off."
his hand slaps your cheek, in a sort of half slap, half tap, and goes, "language." as if he won't have the filthiest mouth as soon as your tongue reaches his cock. then, he notices the way your thighs squeeze together when he says it with such authority, the way your eyes soften just a bit.
then, his hand grips your chin, pulling it up, as he bends down, your faces just inches apart-- as he leans, you hear his back creak just a bit.
he has that shit eating smirk on his face, as he gently kisses you, such a sharp contrast to his actions, to his words, to the way he fucks you.
you try to chase his lips as he pulls away just a bit, but his grip keeps you right where he wants you. then, he whispers,
"you're all mine, kid."
you can't find the words to deny it.
#danny speaks to the void#logan howlett#old man logan#logan howlett smut#logan howlett fluff#logan howlett x reader#wolverine smut#wolverine blurb#wolverine x reader#wolverine brain go brrrrr
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OKAY WAIT I SAW THIS POST AND IT MADE ME THINK OF LIKE-
Shen Yuan transmigrates into Luo Binghe, BUT Luo Binghe's soul doesn't exactly like... Leave?
Like there's that one really popular fic that always comes up on ao3 search results that I haven't gotten around to reading yet where Shen Jiu reloads into Shen Qingqiu's body and he and Shen Yuan have to work at being Shen Qingqiu together BUT LIKE CONSIDER THAT SAME CONCEPT BUT WITH SHEN YUAN LOADED INTO BINGHE'S BODY-
Shen Yuan dies, and wakes up in the world of PIDW, watching the events play out from Luo Binghe's perspective
It's a bit weird to get used to, getting used to watching events play out in this way, but he thinks he's grown so obsessed with PIDW that instead of watching his life play out before his eyes, he's watching Binghe's play out instead
But in true Peerless Cucumber fashion, Shen Yuan cannot stay silent while Binghe endures such abuse, and finds himself cursing out this shitty movie for Binghe to actually do something and fight back
Imagine his surprise when Binghe suddenly stops what he's doing and acknowledges Shen Yuan's comments that have appeared like a voice in his head
Cue mass confusion and panic and eventually Shen Yuan figures out that Binghe can hear him??? Somehow?? Similar to how I imagine Meng Mo will function in the future but Binghe has not yet encountered Meng Mo so he's very shocked and Shen Yuan is also very shocked
Cue Shen Yuan realizing that he's in a very unique position to help make Binghe as OP as possible without any of the trauma because uhh maybe without having a physical body, he doesn't get a System?
Meng Mo eventually appears and Shen Yuan gets a "physical" body in Binghe's dreamscape but by this point Shen Yuan has been doing such a good job of teaching Binghe everything he needs to know about everything, Binghe has already extremely latched onto Shen Yuan (and the shizun obsession begins once more)
Anyways, we basically get Shen Yuan guiding Binghe through the plot of PIDW and reshaping it to his making, much to the chagrin of Shang Qinghua, who very much still has a System and is still stuck trying to move the plot along
Cue shenanigans and things actually relevant to the plot, and maybe a cool mechanic of Binghe being able to pass control over to Shen Yuan at certain points?
And long story short it ends with overpowered Demon Lord Binghe sans the harem of so many women finally finding a way to get Shen Yuan's soul out of his head and into a body of his own
Shen Yuan, being super fucking oblivious assumes that Binghe has not pursued the harem because he didn't want Shen Yuan spying on his papayaing with his many numerous wives and turns to leave Binghe to a life in peace or something only to get wifed to Binghe himself
Bonus sequel fic ideas if getting his own body gives Shen Yuan a system of his own but because he's essentially an OC, his mission requirements are basically to fulfill as many wife plots or something lighthearted and stupid type deal
#svsss#luo binghe#shen yuan#bingqiu#bingyuan#shen qingqiu#fic idea#sammi speaks#fanfic#transmigration#if anyone wants to use this as a concept feel free to go ahead just tag me when you post it
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