#Guilt shame anxiety paranoia etc etc you get the point. I feel like shit with no valid reason as to why
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sorry for saying I was going to do things and even starting them and then disappearing from this website entirely for three days. It will happen again
#Nothing new. Tbf I’ve done this a lot#I would say I’m focusing more on school and my personal writing but that’s more of a fucking lie than full truth#I genuinely have felt sick to my stomach posting here for whatever reason#Guilt shame anxiety paranoia etc etc you get the point. I feel like shit with no valid reason as to why#So for now I’m going to stop doing the thing that makes me overly emotionally sick to the point I have actual physical reactions????#Yeah that’s the logical course of action. Might post small personal anecdotes and doodles and such to give off the vague energy that Im fin#But beyond that I quite literally can’t. I sat down and thought about writing this post and immediately broke down#I don’t know why I feel guilty over having inconsistent motivation for putting up shitty writing on a website for strangers to see#But I do and k think the only good way to get past that is this. Gotta stop acting Impulsively it’s ruining my fucking life man#There’s only one other thing that I’ll thank Eloise for#and it’s for getting me off of tumblr long enough to realize that I desperately need to get help#This is fucked I fucking hate it. I might be online if k can bare the possibility that people can see this#Namely people I’ve grown attached to in concept#Idfc at this point. it doesn’t change much about how things have been going for the past year#Vent#S.K explains that things never really got better they would just suck less for short periods of time
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