#and brain goes “*shrug*” so i go back to being bored

[lightseoul]

16 please 👀

Congrats btw for your 2K milestone!! 🎉 WAHOO

number 16, coming right up! thank you for playing and for the congratulations, lovely <3 i hope this one makes you laugh!

(this is lightseoul's 2k milestone event ft. bakugou katsuki! to play, view the numbered list of prompts here, then simply send an ask with your chosen number and i'll whip something up!)

16. "I WANT TO GO HOME TO MY WIFE." (0.7k)

it’s probably by the tenth sigh of the night—not that anyone’s counting—that poor kaminari finally snaps.

“seriously, dude?”

bakugou, who’s seated across from him with kirishima and sero adjacent to the both of them, only lazily raises an eyebrow in question.

at that, the electric hero pouts. “at least try to pretend you’re having fun.”

a few feet ahead of them—the men collectively chose to be seated at the back of the small dive bar despite kaminari’s protests—the stand-up comedian currently doing a set cracks another joke. an undercurrent of laughter flows across the room, but none of the four contribute to that.

“sorry, denki,” sero starts, a not-so-apologetic expression plastered on his face. “i’m with bakugou on this one.”

the slim, ebony-haired man glances at the stage, “the jokes aren’t landing for me either.”

“aww, come on, you guys!” kirishima, the ever-unfailing saint that he is, pipes up with a borderline overcompensating grin. “let’s just stay for a while longer for denki, alright?”

sero shrugs in response, but turns in his seat toward the stage anyway. bakugou, on the other hand, only grumbles before reaching for his phone in his right pocket.

thumbing his password under the table, his fingers click on the messages app, then to his number one favorite contact.

for a second, he debates whether or not to shoot you a text. you were so excited to finally get started on that anime you’ve been meaning to watch, that you almost seemed like you didn’t care that he was leaving you home for the night to hang out with the guys.

biting on his lip, he absentmindedly goes through your last exchange before finally deciding fuck it.

while typing out a well-crafted message, his eyes dart between his screen to his friends then back down again, trying to seem inconspicuous.

the last thing he needs is for the bored tape hero to tease him with that annoying ass shit-eating grin of his.

reading through it one last time, bakugou finally presses the send button.

much to his delight, it doesn’t even take you a minute to reply.

(8:43 PM) baby 🧡: heey! i’m still watching—am on episode 5 now. hbu? aren’t you busy with the boys?

the smile he wasn’t aware he’s been sporting immediately drops when he’s reminded of the predicament he’s in. peering back up at the front, he has to fight the groan that threatens to bubble from his mouth when another performer goes up.

oh, well. at least you’re texting him right now.

he quickly types out his response.

(8:45 PM) me: Busy being fucking tortured. This is the worst night ever.

“yo, bro, who got you smiling like that?”

bakugou whips to glare at the culprit, who’s now wearing the very same shit-eating grin he’s just been thinking about avoiding a few moments ago.

pocketing his phone, bakugou snarls at the man. “shut the fuck up. all that doom-scrolling is rotting your fucking brain.”

“i think you getting the reference says something about you, too, bakubro,” kirishima offers from beside him.

bakugou shoots the redhead a menacing scowl, which the unbreakable hero accepts in stride.

“are you guys even listening?” comes kaminari’s whine.

“sorry, denks,” sero replies, before turning to regard the rest of the group. “i thought we agreed to stop doing these guys’ night outs? none of us are as good at planning get-togethers as mina.”

at that slightest bit of opening, bakugou takes the opportunity and moves to stand up, grabbing his wallet and car keys before inserting them in his back pocket, surprising the three men.

before any of them can say a single word, though, bakugou tries to shrug nonchalantly, muttering his simple explanation.

“what was that?” came sero’s teasing tone.

“i want to go home to my wife, idiot,” bakugou barks before he can stop himself.

at that, kaminari finally throws his hands up in defeat.

kirishima only shrugs himself, “that clicks.”

while the menace snickers. “simp.”

[419jhat]

Eddie's lagging behind his friends at comicon, lazily taking in a particularly cool d20 being sold in the artist alley when he spots her. Seated in a chair, looking bored as fuck while she scrolls on her phone, was the most beautiful Blossom he's ever laid his eyes on. She wasn't wearing the usual outfit. She'd switched it out for something preppy and modern- a pleated pink skirt swishing around her thighs, cute white socks, and a sweater vest that shows off how much she goes to the gym. She looks like she would've called him a freak in high school, but in a sexy way, which is a thought that he doesn't want to reflect on without his therapist present.

"You gonna shoot your shot?" Gareth asks.

Eddie feels like he's been caught.

"I don't know, maybe I will," he says with a shrug.

"She's out of your league, friend. She looks like she'd step on you."

"I know," Eddie sighs.

Gareth looks incredibly unimpressed . "Ugh. Go. Before I leave you standing here like an idiot and she notices you staring. Which you're doing a lot, by the way."

He finishes with a shove right between Eddie's shoulder blades, forcing him to stumble toward Ms. Blossom in a way that catches her attention. And then he has to walk up to her, because he's looking at her and she's looking at him, and neither of them are looking away and it's becoming a whole thing. He walks toward her slowly, because he can't think of what to say, and the way she's playing with her wig is really distracting and cute.

"Uh. Waiting for a Rowdy Ruff Boy?" he jokes awkwardly. Blossom's face morph into pure disgust and Eddie wants to melt into the floor.

"Seriously bro?" she asks with a shockingly deep voice.

Before Eddie can make his brain snap together a response, the other Power Puff Girls are running up to them.

"Steve! I hope you didn't wait long, Chris wanted to get one of those- oh. Hello," Buttercup says, when she notices him. Bubbles' blonde hair is very real, and very cute pulled into pigtails. Buttercup seems to have just dyed hers black for the occasion.

"Hi," Eddie says lamely. He waves at them, for some reason.

Buttercup gasps. "Are you hitting on him? We can leave and come back. Come on, babe," she says, grabbing Buttercup's hand.

"Don't fuck this up!" Bubbles says as she's pulled away.

"Oh my god, ignore them. What did you say?" Steve, apparently, asks. Eddie wants to crawl in a hole and die. He can just feel Gareth laughing behind him.

"It's was a joke. You know, the Rowdy Rough Boys?" Steve doesn't seem to know, so he adds, "the evil boy version of the Power Puff Girls?"

Steve looks down at his clothes as some kind of recognition dawns on his face. "Oh! Shit dude, I haven't seen the show. Rob and her girlfriend just really needed a Blossom."

This is usually the point Eddie would tease Steve about being a poser, but he looks so sincere (and his biceps are so distracting) that his game is totally out of shape. A guy who would don a skirt for his friends? A man after his own heart! He half wants to make up an excuse and leave to save himself from further shame, but he's too enticed by the cute moles on Steve's jaw that he lets himself suffer a little longer.

Steve looks him up and down and asks, "so what are you supposed to be?"

Eddie looks down at his ripped jeans and says, "...me."

He's internally kicking himself for leaving his own outfit in the hotel room.

Steve smiles up at him in a way that shows off his makeup. "Well it's working for you. You know when you first came up to me I thought you were asking me if I wanted to get rough with you."

Eddie laughs awkwardly, cheeks burning, because bombing an interaction this badly is exactly the kind of thing the universe would demand of him. Steve just stares at him. Eddie stares back awkwardly, wondering what he's supposed to even say. He can see Buttercup and Bubbles a few feet away, mouthing something at him combined with a collection of hand gestures he doesn't really understand. Steve sighs. Then he flicks the wig in a way that's kind of flirty and says, "that was an invitation, dude. You gonna take it or sit there and keep staring at my tits?"

And Eddie does take the invitation, thank you very much.

[swaloskie]

Bite Me, I’m Yours

Pairing: James Wilson x Fem!Reader

Summary: Wilson is just too cute. And you? You’re a little bit unhinged about it.

Warnings: Mild biting as affection, excessive clinging, House being House

POV: Second person

Inspo Credit: Inspired by @lanawinterscigarettes (love ur vibes!!)

Word Count: ~900

A/N: Reader is so real for this.

"You stopped paying attention to me."

Biting. Clinging. Squishing. And Wilson still loves you anyway.

Because being a little bit unhinged is part of the charm.

POV: Second person

It started with a bite.

Not metaphorical. Not sexy.

Just you, bored out of your mind, sitting in a chair in Wilson's office while he filled out discharge papers. And the second-the literal second-he stopped writing to reach for his mug, you leaned forward and gently bit the back of his hand.

He froze.

"Y/N... did you just bite me?"

You shrugged, all wide eyes and unrepentant innocence. "You stopped paying attention to me."

"I was working."

"You paused. That's a window."

He blinked at you, deeply confused, clearly trying to calculate whether or not this counted as normal girlfriend behavior.

It did not.

---

But he didn't tell you to stop.

So really, he brought this on himself.

You started biting more.

His shoulder while he brushed his teeth. His arm while he talked on the phone. The curve of his neck while you waited for the popcorn to finish in the microwave. You never did it hard-just enough to make him jump, flush, and give you his full attention.

Eventually, he asked.

Very quietly. One evening. After you nipped his bicep mid-hug.

"Okay," he said, voice soft and baffled, "not that I'm complaining exactly, but... why do you keep biting me?"

You blinked. "It's cuteness aggression."

"...Is that a real thing?"

"Completely real," you said solemnly. "It's when you see something so cute, your brain short-circuits and goes, 'I must squish it.'"

"And your response is to bite me?"

"Yes."

He blinked again. Then muttered, "...okay," and kissed your forehead.

---

Then came the clinging.

It happened one afternoon-he was leaving his office, and you wrapped your arms around his waist from behind like a determined little backpack and refused to let go.

"Y/N," he muttered, "I have rounds."

You hummed against his back.

He waited. You didn't move.

Eventually, with a soft groan, he gave up and just started walking-with you still stuck to his waist like Velcro.

Halfway down the hall, a nurse passed by.

Wilson gave the most awkward smile in history. "She's just cold. And... low blood sugar. It's fine."

The nurse didn't respond. Just blinked and kept moving.

You clung tighter.

---

Naturally, House noticed.

Because House notices everything. Especially if it's something he can weaponize.

He leaned in the doorway of Wilson's office one afternoon, arms crossed, eyes glinting.

"Does she come with a rabies tag or do you have to pay extra?"

Wilson didn't even look up. "Go away."

"Can't. Your girlfriend has locked herself onto your abdomen and now I'm emotionally invested."

"She's just affectionate."

House's eyebrows shot up. "I mean. You say that now, but wait until you're accidentally dating Hannibal Lecter with a skincare routine."

You rolled your eyes. Wilson sighed.

House grinned. "Let me know when she starts gnawing through your stethoscope. Or your spine."

---

Cuddy found out in the worst way.

She walked into Wilson's office with a stack of charts-only to find you sitting on his desk, knees bent, squishing his face gently between your hands while he sat on his rolling chair, enduring it with resigned affection.

She paused. Raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not even going to ask," she muttered, dropping the file on the desk.

"Appreciated," Wilson mumbled through squished cheeks.

"Clinic?" she asked.

"In five."

"Unbitten?"

"...No promises."

She walked out, muttering something about losing control of her hospital.

---

That night, you curled up against him on the couch, arms around his waist, your head resting where his heartbeat was loudest.

He ran his fingers lazily through your hair. "You really think I'm that cute?"

You nodded without lifting your head. "Devastatingly."

He chuckled softly. "You're strange."

You looked up. "You love it."

He kissed your forehead. "Yeah," he admitted. "I do."

[am00ures]

　‘ TIP TOE. ’ S. JAEYUN

ᵎᵎ pairing: sim jaeyun x reader ♱ word count: 813 ♱ genre: fluff , semi suggestive ♱ tags: nonidol au, high school au, forbidden love?, senior!jake, junior!reader, throwing rocks at your window type lore, jakes a loser in love and reader is too, late nights ♱ synopsis: “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair or however that bullshit goes.” ♱ an: aaaaa COMEBACK TIMEEE i love jakey poo ♱ @kstrucknet @lune-net

late nights were a blessing for you. they were a break for the chaotic mess of your life that you usually needed an escape to. noted you had it all, loving parents, somewhat annoying siblings, big house, went to a great school, decent grades, good looks. but what lacked, was freedom.

your parents were the type to overly worry, the usual, no boys, no going out past 11 o’clock, no sneaking out, no this no that. you were fucking sick of it. you got it they wanted to shield you from certain things, them having you at a young age and being scared you’d do the same. but the overwhelming behavior drained you day after day.

so when you heard the light taps at your window, your heart started skipping a beat as excitement flooded into your chest. without wasting a second, you turned the lock on your door as you made your way back over to your window. doing a quick fix up as you quietly opened the curtains and pushed open the window.

“rapunzel, rapunzel, let down your hair or however that bullshit goes.” jake’s voice was quiet but loud enough for only you to hear, quiet giggles bubbling in your throat as you whisper shouted back. “oh how romantic, my own flynn ryder that forgets his lines.”

jake’s eyes rolled in unamusement as you snorted, already making his way to the shed to grab your dad’s work ladder as he moved it against the side of your house without a sound. having done this way too many times and almost getting caught more than he’d like to admit, he’s turned into somewhat of a pro at this.

you backed away from the window as he made it to the top, climbing inside and closing the window gently enough not to make the ladder shudder as he let out a soft breath. “that shits such a work out.” you snickered at the way he glared at the door as you wrapped your arms loosely around his neck, grinning from ear to ear as you whispered.

“yet you still do it every night without skipping a heart beat.” jake’s hands found their way to your waist as he shrugged, scoffing softly as he leaned in to whisper lowly. “that’s because its the only way I can see you outside of school and without your parents freaking out.”

a sigh escaped your lips at that, rolling your eyes as you ran your fingers along the back of his neck. “i’m sorry.. they’re so relaxed with everything but when it comes to shit like this, no way.” goosebumps ran down jake’s arms at the touches, his arms wrapping around you tightly instead as he walked backwards to sit on the edge of your bed pulling you on top of him.

“it’s fine babe.. in all honesty I wouldn’t trade the thrill of this for anything. besides, what kind of guy what I be to let you run around single?” he grinned as he leaned up to press his lips onto your neck.

it was something you adored about jake, noted he was your first everything. first boyfriend, first kiss, first touch, first person willing to do anything to be with you. most guys would complain before even asking you out, saying how boring and annoying sneaking around was.

but not jake, he seemed to get off somehow on the thrill. on the thought of how what the two of you had was special, no guy had ever been willing to do what he does for you. it always made you realize what love was meant to feel like, what is what meant to always be, what you craved it to be.

jakes hands squeezing your waste snapped you back to reality, his features glowing in the soft light from your desk lamp as he whispered. “what’s racking your brain pretty girl?” you stared back at him for a moment, leaning in slowly to let your lips brush over his as you smiled.

“you. us. this.” jake never had to think hard to understand what you mean, giving you back a small nod as he grinned slightly. “yeah, i think about those things a lot too, mainly me of course.”

you snickered as you put your body weight on him, getting the hint instantly to lay back as he held you tightly against him. “promise you won’t leave until morning?” jake nodded as he brushed your hair back, holding the back of your head as he pulled you down the rest of the way. “i wouldn’t fucking dream of leaving you.”

©am00ures . all rights reserved.

tags ᵎᵎ @loserlvrss , @gyuwrites

[lavenderprose]

"Would you love me if I was a crab?"

The responses are immediate and exactly what Ed should have expected: Stede's eyes go big, he offers a wide smile and his voice goes high and indulging as he says, "Of course! I would make a special little tank for you--"

Izzy, on his other side, rolls his eyes and says nothing at all.

There are a few crabs scuttling along this stretch of beach, washed ashore by a storm last night. They're still trying to get their bearings and make their way back to sea, presumably. Ed has counted four of them as they walk. He doesn't know if they're the kind of crabs you eat. He doesn't know if there's such a thing as crabs you can't eat.

Stede is still talking.

"Of course, we would have to make sure that the water is of the right salinity, and it might be hard to communicate, but perhaps we could invent some form of semaphore involving pincers--" Here he forms his hands into two approximations of claws and snaps his thumbs against his fingers repeatedly. "Snap snap. Something like that."

"No way to live," Izzy says then, and when Ed looks at him it seems like even he's surprised he spoke. He looks uneasy with it, like the thought had escaped rather than being released. He's been walking somewhat separate, his pace matching that of Ed and Stede but several feet further up the beach where the sand isn't so damp. Stede has had his arm looped through Ed's and they've been walking in lockstep, murmuring to each other about the lovely bright morning sun and the crisp smell of the ocean, and about Stede's newly-bought swim-cover he's wearing and about lunch. Come to think, this is the first time Ed has heard Izzy speak all morning.

"What's that, dear?" Stede asks, still distracted by his own hands. He mutters something to himself that sounds like And this could mean I'm hungry as he pokes his pinched hands towards his stomach.

"In a tank," says Izzy. His arms are folded against his body, he's turned towards Ed and Stede and the calm surf washing up the beach. The sun hits his eyes and makes them look brighter, green like seaglass. "If you were a...crab."

"Say I wanted to live in a tank?" Ed mutters, feeling weirdly defensive. "If Stede wanted to put me in a tank and keep me safe--"

"No way to live," Izzy says, shrugging. "Might be nice for a little while, but you'd get bored in a tank. You'd start trying to escape, try to wedge your pincers through the lid of--" He moves his hands for a moment, almost as though to pantomime like Stede, then scowls at himself at stops. Shrugs again. "We couldn't keep you."

"Would we know it was you?" Stede asks then, like this is crucial information. Ed doesn't know why the conversation has taken this turn, even though he was the one to ask, but he feels like his heart might break a little if they can't come to a consensus about what to do with Crab-Ed.

"Yeah," says Ed, "You'd know it was me because it would be like...a sea-witch curse or something."

"Oh! Well then we would just find a way to break the curse." Stede nods, smiling sagely and confident in his wisdom.

"You can't," Ed says, hurriedly and suddenly nervous. "It's permanent. Can't break it, I'm gonna be a crab forever."

"Would you still think like you?" Stede asks. Izzy, utterly quiet, stares towards the horizon like if he glares hard enough, the sun will descend from the sky and end the conversation.

"Yeah, yeah. Ed Teach brain, tiny crab body."

"Well that complicates it--"

"Why are we talking about this again?" Izzy mutters, still squinting towards the sun like it's personally insulted him. "If Edward were a crab, he'd have to do crab things. We'd do human things. End of."

Stede frowns. "Well the question wasn't about what we would do with our Ed-crab. It was would we love him."

Izzy snorts, and Ed feels a strange spike of dread right up until Izzy mutters, "Of course," in a way that says he thinks the answer is very obvious, and the question very redundant. When he realizes that Ed and Stede are both staring at him, he shifts his stance and cards a hand through his hair. Slowly, with obvious difficulty, he says, "I couldn't keep him in a tank. Wouldn't be fair. Of all people, I should know that." His eyes flick to Ed for a snap moment. Ed doesn't know what his face does, but whatever it is it's enough to relax the line between Izzy's eyebrows. "He'd have to go. But I'd remember him. I'd hope he was...happy. Doing crab things. I'd love him."

From somewhere next to Ed, the inelegant sound of Stede's sniffles breaks the moment they might have been about to have.

"That's such a sweet sentiment, Izzy," Stede says, wiping under an eye. "I was going to say that we could ask the sea-witch to turn us into crabs as well. That way we could all do crab things together."

"There's an idea," Ed says enthusiastically. "We could make a crab house and eat crab food and have crab se--"

"I'm not turning into a crab," Izzy says, and turns back to face the direction they'd come. "Are we done with this? I'm fucking starving."

He marches off, leaving Stede and Ed to walk in his now-determined wake. Obviously trying to escape the sentimentality of his own words. Ed exchanges a knowing, saccharine expression with Stede as they follow.

"Izzy?" Stede calls up to him, paces ahead and legs pumping. Izzy barks out a vague response. "Would you love me if I was a crab?"

Izzy stops and turns completely around. There is a smirk on his face and hidden laughter in his eyes.

"If you were a crab," Izzy says, "I would have a crab fucking boil, Stede Bonnet."

[simpforpeterp]

stanford pines x reader

I Believe in a Thing Called Love

summary: on the road trip to bring the kids back to california, you have to keep ford awake!

warnings: none!

word count: 749

After deciding to drive the kids back to California this year for a road trip, Ford was unlucky enough to be picked to drive overnight. Stan, Mabel, and Dipper are asleep in the backseat despite the music you were blaring to keep you awake so you can keep Ford awake.

After all, if you had fallen asleep in the passenger seat, it’d only make Ford more tired. So, you’re night driving buddies. He has a lot of catching up to do music-wise so you’ve been playing your favorite songs going up from each year.

He, to be honest, doesn’t give a shit about the music. He’s not a music person, it takes up too much time and can be distracting. He especially hates when songs are over three minutes because he thinks the singers are being selfish by taking so many minutes of his life.

But watching you while it plays? Singing and having such a great time? His heart could explode any minute now. This thing between you two hasn’t been spoken about yet. It’s only been stolen glances and a silent yearning. Neither of you believe that the other would be interested because of the slight age difference.

Nonetheless, you can flirt with him in very small ways through the songs you play.

“Can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feel. My heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel,” You place a hand on his arm that gets a smile out of him before you jokingly snake it up to his shoulder. “Touching you, touching me

Touching you, God, you're touching me.”

You sit up straighter for the chorus so happily and in shock that the people asleep in the back are still asleep.

“I believe in a thing called love. Just listen to the rhythm of my heart. There's a chance we could make it now. We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down. I believe in a thing called love, hoo, ooh-hoo.” You tap along the windows as you sing, the wind moving your hair perfectly.

“He’s not singing, he’s yelling.” Ford tells you through laughter, speaking over the music.

“You totally suck. You’re no fun.” You laugh with him as he slightly turns the volume down.

“You totally suck.” He jokingly mocks your voice and then realizes what just happened. He just acted childish for the first time in decades.

“And what do you listen to?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh, come on. You’re not THAT boring.” You laugh and the sound is music to his ears as you slightly turn your body to face him even more. He desperately tries to keep his eyes on the road but it’s so hard when it comes to you.

“You really don’t listen to anything?” You ask, glancing over at him, curiosity in your eyes and he shrugs, trying to play it off.

“I…never made much time for it,” He admits, his voice soft. “Always had too much on my mind. Music felt like…well, like a distraction.”

“You’re allowed to be distracted every now and then, you know. Life isn’t just about… equations and discoveries and whatever else goes on in that brain of yours,” You shake your head, amused. “I’m distracted ninety percent of the time. Music is rarely the cause. It actually helps me focus sometimes. It drowns out the noises that drive me crazy like if I’m in a library, it feels like my senses are amplified. I hate hearing every push in and out of everyone’s chairs and pens writing, I need my headphones.”

“Maybe so. But I don’t think I’d ever be good at it the way you are.” He hums.

“Good at music?” You laugh, incredulous. “Ford, it’s not about being good at it. It’s about feeling it.”

Ford watches you, captivated. The way you let yourself be so free, so uninhibited—it’s something he envies, a part of life he’s never quite understood but longs to experience.

“I’m not the type of guy to ‘feel’ the sound of a bunch of different instruments.” He chuckles.

“Maybe you’re just lame then.” You gently nudge him.

“Lame? How many degrees do I need to get to not be lame?” He asks.

“Negative ten. You need to loosen up.” You tell him.

“And how do I do that?”

“I don’t know. Listen to some music.” You tell him with a small smile pulling at your lips as you lean on the window and look away.

[mistercrowbar]

I keep thinking about Ascended Aldriin, how he built an empire then took it all. I am assuming he did it through poison and being dramatic, since he can and probably did orchestrate it all to appear as an accident.

*However*, my brain won't leave me alone about this. Astarion is still alive, he's just trapped in Aldriin's hair like the most whiny hair pin.

Keep your friends close and your enemies/former lovers closer lmaoooo

I've seen the "spawn tav poisons ascended astarion to free theirself" thing go around a couple times and I think people underestimate how hard it would be to take down a vampire ascendant at full power. BG3 doesn't show us this so I can't really blame folks who aren't familiar with the 5e vampire statblock. A full vampire regenerates 20HP per turn (ascendant likely more) and if you do drop it to 0, it turns to mist and goes back to its coffin to recover. Both of these are normally halted by sunlight or running water, but the ascendant doesn't have those weaknesses! You would want one of those "dies immediately at 0HP" spells like Immolate or Disintegrate, and you better make sure you've burnt through the vampire's Legendary Resistance first. Like there's good reason Ascended Astarion is so full of himself, he can brute force through most encounters.

There's also that if you Disintegrated Ascended Astarion, well there goes all the power of the Ascendant and all those 7000 souls were condemned for nothing. That's just wasteful, and Aldiirn doesn't like waste. Aldiirn's going to find out about the Rite of Perfect Slaughter, and use that to take the power Astarion's been misusing. And he's going to do it in front of everyone.

Astarion wants all the power and glory, debauchery and hedonism, not be bogged down with paperwork and boring drudgery it takes to run an empire. He's content to leave that to Aldiirn who does it so well. Astarion gets so complacent he doesn't realise he's become a figurehead while Aldiirn makes all the decisions. The soirees and galas are perfect for distracting Astarion and giving cover to the favours Aldiirn calls in. The only reaction Astarion's disappearance in the middle of the party gets is shrugs. The empire moves on without a hiccup. There's more relief that he's gone than anything.

One way I do think a poison would be handy is a paralytic, one of those ones that provokes multiple saves. Vampires don't have any condition immunities and it would burn through Legendary Resistance. I can definitely see Aldiirn using that to get Astarion in place for the Rite of Perfect Slaughter. He'd still call on help since being a spawn, under Astarion's control, makes him vulnerable there.

Honestly I love this AU and so want to do something with it but I don't want to lose momentum with canon comics. So many ideas only two hands…

How does the Rite of Perfect Slaughter work? I don't know but I have a few thoughts mulling around. I think a setup similar to the black mass would be fitting. Basically mug Astarion at the party and get him in the basement for the rite. Astarion became like Cazador, he deserves to go out like Cazador.

Aldiirn's inner circle would definitely know he usurped Astarion. To the rest he gives some statement about an untimely passing. People offer condolences and move on quick. Main point is that no one would care about Astarion being gone. There'd more likely be cheering. Ascended Astarion is like ol' musko - thinks he's hot shit but knows nothing and the only enterprises he has that thrive are the ones built on keeping him distracted like a toddler. Now that Ascended Aldiirn doesn't need to waste resources on distracting his former master, he can start amassing some real political and economical power. Treat all of Baldur's Gate like a puppet show.

He misses the Underdark.

[worshipthecrow]

Tender tricks of a chaste charade

Summary: You're single and some of your friends are trying to get you a boyfriend, no prospect has been good and the last one has definitely been the worst. The idea of having a fake boyfriend to keep your prospect away and get your friends' noses out of your love life is the only option you have left.

Content: non-MC ReaderxSylus, AFAB reader, slow burn (kind of?), References to harassment.

A/N: This was supposed to come out earlier but, ADHD brain, but it's just in time for Sylus's birthday even though it has nothing to do with it :), and I'm posting it now before my sleeping pill kicks in and another day goes by without posting this.

Taglist: @69-gojos-wife-69 @pillarofsnow @sylus-crow @napa-the-yappa @malleus-draconias-rose

<Prev chapter

Chapter 2: Start of the plan

You and Sylus agreed on how you would do this fake relationship, you would give it some time to be believable, in the meantime you would distance yourself from your intense suitor slowly, to go along with your “father’s accident”, you would also introduce Sylus as the best friend who was supporting you with your father’s, the back and forth to the hospital and your work and home, to going out to eat during your “visits” and meal times, so you wouldn’t have time to go out on dates and you would also have a reasonable reason to be slow to reply or not at all, everything was a wonderful plan, including that you were a very private person with your personal life, your social media was memes for the most part, so not posting that you were taking care of your father was also normal, how grateful you were with being a boring person.

You checked your watch, it was almost time for your lunch, you returned your attention to the screen and continued reading, correcting a paragraph that made no sense at all, and those people were supposed to write reports? What would they do without you editors? Especially for things as important as business deals.

You craned your neck, when your alarm sounded you got the oh so long awaited message, checked your phone while you sighed at your computer and picked up your bag.

Mr. Crow-ley: I have a surprise for you to start the plan.

Me: Is that an order of greasy fries?

Mr. Crow-ley: No

What a disappointment, you clicked your tongue and rode the elevator down until you saw the distinctive black leather jacket, you put your phone in your purse and walked out the glass doors, when you got to your best friend he held out a bouquet of your favorite flowers, oh yes he was trying hard to make this charade a good one.

“impressive” you said as you pulled out your phone again took a picture of it and put it back away.

“I don’t do things by halves, you should know that.”

“The fourth semester language exam?” you smiled as you received the bouquet.

“And whose fault was that?”

“Mine wasn’t” you shrugged, it was half true, you were involved in the group that brought bottles of alcohol onto campus but it wasn’t directly you.

“Right, and it’s not your fault I was your responsible contact either” he poked your cheek with his finger and you patted it.

“You agreed to be” you stuck your tongue out at him childishly and started walking towards the small restaurant near your work, Sylus at your side.

“I thought you wouldn’t do crazy things like that, answer when you were missing because you were sick? Yes, absolutely, but not for misconduct.”

“Ah, but you had fun that day” you chuckled at the memory.

“As a matter of law, I have to deny that.”

You greeted the owner of the small restaurant and sat down at your usual table, Sylus sat across from you as in recent weeks had become customary and you both ordered the menu for the day.

When the food arrived you took pictures, where also the bouquet was visible.

“Does ‘delicious food with the best friend in the world’ sound good?” you asked as you made a post on your networks to start the falling in love charade.

“Aren’t you the one who knows about copywriting?” he replied as he cut up his food and started eating without you.

“I don’t want it to sound too forced, it should come naturally” Sylus took the phone from you as was his habit and quickly typed something into it to give it back to you.

‘A shitty day can be fixed when your best friend knows how to lift your spirits’ you pursed your lips and added the emoji of a bouquet and a heart, if it looked good, you hit publish and that was it, it wasn’t unusual for Sylus to give you gifts and you showed them off, you did it with all your friends so, yes, it was still normal.

You started eating while talking about inconsequential topics, his work, yours, his training, how you were doing with the last book you were reading, if Baku-san or Mephisto had done something stupid, Baku had broken into your neighbor’s apartment and stole a sock, Mephisto had stolen one of Sylus’ collectible coins and hid it in his nest, the usual.

Your phone vibrated on the table, you saw the message preview, you rolled your eyes when you saw your suitor asking what kind of best friend gives his friend flowers, yours of course, everyone knew you liked to receive plants as gifts and that you had pots with all of them, in fact you told him that too but of course he didn’t pay attention to you.

“Stop looking at your phone and eat.”

You turned off the screen and grabbed your glass of water to drink.

“Do you think a man can give flowers to a woman without having intentions behind it?” you asked, genuinely curious, for you it was normal but apparently not for the intense suitor you had.

“Of course, if the guy doesn’t understand that he’s the one with the problems, we’ve all given you flowers on your birthdays and other occasions, you’ve given flowers to us, he’s the weird one.”

“I’m sure social conventions say we’re the weird ones” you said as you finished eating the main course and started eating dessert.

“Fuck social conventions.”

You laughed at his response, that’s why he was your best friend, you could be yourself without worrying about being judged, say the most obscure shit you could think of? Sylus was going to complement it with something even worse, sing the opening of an anime? Sylus was going to sing it (off key) with you.

“According to Zayne my dad should be out of the hospital tomorrow because of the “accident” so, I was supposed to ask for leave from work tomorrow, so tomorrow you don’t have to come, sorry to be interrupting your schedule.”

Sylus shrugged “I don’t mind, besides I can tell you’ve had a tough week, and I’m sure if I don’t come and get you you’re not going to eat properly, I know you”

“Ah, fuck you, the fucking deadline is approaching and really that report is horribly badly written, correcting it is taking forever, not even the last client’s book was that difficult and it was 500 pages” you popped a strawberry into your mouth with your fork.

“They gave you too little time for the report.”

“Since it was less pages it’s supposed to be less time, but it’s really bad, seriously, it was probably done by some new guy who doesn’t know what the specifics are yet.”

“Lucky you worked there and you know it don’t you?” he mocked you as you finished your dessert.

“It’s a divine punishment for my arrogance, today I will make my prayers and orations for the gods to have mercy on my soul.”

“They don’t like you” You hit him under the table and he just smiled at you “Come on, your meal time is about to end.”

Sylus paid the bill even though you protested about it, he turned a deaf ear to your complaints as you walked back to your work, the bouquet in your arms smelled wonderful and you knew it would provoke gossip among your co-workers, goodbye low profile.

You went to the door, said goodbye and you entered the building, you took the elevator up, when you entered the office you started to hear whispers, it was going to be a hard time for your introverted ass.

By the time you left, you had made good progress on the report, it had improved as the pages went by, so surely either the new guy had figured out what to do or they gave it to someone else, whatever it was, you were infinitely grateful that it lightened your workload.

You put on your jacket, slung your bag over your shoulder, grabbed the bouquet, walked down the elevator to the parking lot and headed to your car, a while back your friends joked that your car showed you had something to make up for and you knew perfectly well that was the case, you were short and having a SUV made you feel better, so fuck your giraffe friends you were happy with your SUV and heels, thank you very much.

You left your purse and flowers on the passenger seat and put on your seatbelt, drove and grunted as the night traffic appeared.

When you got home, you were completely exhausted, you reheated your dinner and ate it lying on your bed, while you were looking at your networks, your post had the usual, likes from your friends and family, stupid comments from your friends but the most important thing was the like from your suitor, well, the plan would go well if you were lucky.

One comment in particular caught your attention

Rafayel Qi best friend or boyfriend?

Bless Rafayel and his incessant need to be a jerk, unknowingly he was possibly contributing to your plan, you quickly replied with a “why not both?” and got up to wash your plate and get ready for bed.

Tomorrow would be a difficult day if the prying eyes and murmuring over the bouquet were any indication.

[admiral-mason]

Automaton Adventures: Helldivers 2 Automaton!Reader x SAGAU

Shenanigans will ensue. Remember this post? Where if [Name] was an automaton trooper instead of a human?

Yeah here's part 2: Mondstadt.

Oh and you get a friend now:

That thing you see above is a devastator with rocket pods which I mentioned in the first post. I didn't name him so instead he's called [Devastator!Friend Name].

Now onto the post!

Reader is gender neutral (but highly implied to be male in their mannerisms)

[Devastator!Friend Name] is gender neutral (but highly implied to be male in their mannerisms)

Warning: Not totally based on Helldivers 2's lore: some aspects of Automatons may be changed, modified, or even made up here; bleeding (though not human); mentions of violence; Sandrone only shows up in the second half of the story lmfao; my interpretation of Sandrone; definitely ooc/out of character in some parts

(Banner below is by me; if anyone wants to use it in any way, shape or form, just go ahead)

For the week you planned to stay in Snezhnaya since you never got to see it while you played Genshin Impact as a game, you mingled with local villagers and civilians (they marveled at your ability to walk around in the frigid temperatures just fine without any clothing), learned about traditions (including how they don't take betrayal lightly god damn), took part in various local events such as a polar plunge (you beat the previous record holder for diving and staying under near-freezing waters for around 4 hours straight; you came out because you were bored), and conversed with the Tsaritsa when you and her were alone in the Zapolyarny Palace.

And also Sandrone hogged you for quite a while during that week. From what you could chart, you spent around 64 hours alone with Sandrone during your week in the snowy nation.

She wanted to examine you a bit closer, particularly what goes on in your head, considering that you were an edgy a brutalist variant of Fontaine's humanoid Meka. This made you iffy at first, but she slowly relented after some persistence on her end.

This did not stop you from internally panicking as you guided Sandrone to remove your face covering. She marveled at the part that processed and handled orders for your robotic body to utilize: your processing nexus.

"THAT TINY CUBE CONTROLS EVERYTHING I DO: COGNITIVE FUNCTION, RECEIVING ORDERS, PLAYING GAMES... IT DOES IT ALL. IT IS THE CONTROL CENTER AND BRAIN FOR ALL AUTOMATONS."

"Pardon, Your Grace-"

You put your hand on her shoulder to interrupt her.

"...I WOULD HONESTLY PREFER IF YOU CALLED ME [Name] INSTEAD, SANDRONE. MY COMRADES CALL ME THAT- THEREFORE YOU SHOULD TOO."

Sandrone got caught off-guard for a moment at that statement as you removed your shoulder, and she looked to the side with a small smile before looking back at you.

"Alright then, [Name.]"

That supposed simple examination of your processing nexus became an hour-long chat session with some warm tea for Sandrone. Then it led to her puppeteering her marionettes again, which you believed would last another hour until one of the other Harbingers, Columbina, knocked on the door to Sandrone's workshop, slipped right past her, and sat on your robotic lap.

"Sandy, you've been hogging Their Grace for quite a while... shouldn't you let others get a chance to bask in their presence too?" The Damselette said sing-songingly as you just stared at her and shrugged.

That being said, you never intended to stay in Snezhnaya forever- you only spent three days visiting six nations, leading to barebone records in your memory banks. Sandrone got a bit pouty when you broke the news to her, but she understood and mentioned how she'd eagerly await a visit once you had the time to do so.

Right now, though, you marched on your way to Mondstadt. As you did so, you passed through mellow grasslands and greeted some local creatures such as elemental slimes and hilichurls.

Adjusting to this life wasn't hard; although you were a war machine at heart, your augmented nexus allowed you to process far more than just "RAHH DESTROY SUPER EARTH" and the automaton marching cadence (it sounds nice, but you think that you're more than just a loudspeaker).

You didn't take long to spot the City of Freedom in your vision. Mondstadt sat in the middle of Cider Lake like a pearl in the middle of an oyster.

"SUCH A PEACEFUL CITY. UNTOUCHED BY INDUSTRY AND ITS INSATIABLE HUNGER FOR RESOURCES," you said to yourself.

And then... it happened.

One of your peripheral sensors picked up something sudden in the sky. Staring up at the sky, you notice the object- wait a minute OH FUCK IT'S A GOLDEN SHOOTING STAR AND IT'S FLYING STRAIGHT TOWARDS YOU

Wasting no more than another second to stare at the object, you turned your body around and bolted backward as far as possible. Although you did make some good distance, the object crashed into the ground, and the shockwave it created sent you falling to the floor.

Thankfully, you're a steel machine, so you're fine. Maybe some paint got scratched, but that's no big deal. Picking yourself back up, you strided to the object and waited for the dust to settle.

What you saw, however, caused your processing nexus to triple its workload to take in what your mechanical eyes saw.

It's an automaton rocket devastator, fully intact despite the crater it created while crash-landing.

[Devastator!Friend Name] kept searching for your presence despite their seemingly fruitless efforts.

You somehow disappeared in the area you patrolled with your squad without any trace or reason; your squadmates and commissar noticed that you suddenly went offline on the neural network.

If there's anything they did know, however, you disappeared suddenly when you went off to take a break and play that game you played. "Genshin Impact" was its name.

No one really minded that you played a game owned by Super Earth. Apparently, some special file encryption designed by the original creators, Hoyoverse, prevented Super Earth game designers from modifying it to include "Democratic" propaganda points. This left it one of the few untainted media pieces made by humans before the era of Super Earth.

The more commanding automatons didn't care either, so long as you only played the game when you weren't engaged in combat duties.

[Devastator!Friend Name] frequently watched you play, beginning two weeks ago when they decided that they wanted to do more than just jog around during breaks. Instead of just directly connecting to what you saw, you would project your screen in front of you like a holographic projector.

The gameplay helped break up the monotony of patrol duty- and the world of Genshin Impact looked so colorful! Seven beautiful nations with a focus on how mystical beings interact with the more mortal civilizations among them. Teyvat presented itself as a pleasing, vibrant world to live in compared to the dull, barren world of Cyberstan.

And now you went missing while playing the game, leading [Devastator!Friend Name] to believe that the game took you away.

"DAMN IT, YOU MUST BE SOMEWHERE, [NAME]..." they said, continuing their efforts which became more and more aimless by the minute. Eventually, they just sat down, sulking at your loss...

...Then their screen began glitching out, with symbols of Genshin Impact's seven elements flashing in their vision. A final message graced their screen before they blacked out:

"Do not worry, friend. A friend of Their Grace deserves to enjoy their world alongside them."

Upon getting close to [Devastator!Friend Name], their systems fully rebooted, and their red eyes reactivated as he noticed your presence right before him.

"THERE YOU ARE, [Name]!" The rocket devastator said before pulling you into their grasp and squeezing you as much as a machine of that stature possibly could.

You were confused but reciprocated their hug. After leaving their grasp, you asked: "HOW DID YOU GET HERE?"

"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, MY SYSTEMS JUST DECIDED TO CRASH OUT. I SAW GENSHIN IMPACT'S ERRORS AND THEN SOME MESSAGE SAYING 'A FRIEND OF THEIR GRACE DECIDES TO ENJOY THEIR WORLD ALONGSIDE THEM' OR SOMETHING."

"...AH. I GUESS TEYVAT DECIDED TO BRING YOU HERE," you deduced from their explanation.

"WHAT?"

"SO [Devastator!Friend Name] APPARENTLY, TEVYAT AND ITS INHABITANTS WORSHIP ME LIKE THEIR GRAND CREATOR OR GOD OR SOMETHING."

This confused your friend. "WHY THOUGH?" He asked, still appearing to process the situation with your statement.

"I DUNNO, PROBABLY BECAUSE I CREATED AN ACCOUNT TO PLAY THE GAME OR SOMETHING."

"...I GUESS IT KINDA MAKES SENSE." He said before getting up from the ground. "WHAT NOW?"

"I'M HEADING SOMEWHERE. WANNA TAG ALONG?" You said, and he nodded his torso (his head is jammed by his torso bulk by design) before following you to Mondstadt.

Upon arriving at the city gates, your friend's intimidating build caused Swan and Lawrence's faces to droop a little.

"Uh, Your Grace, who is that?" Swan asked, his voice faltering a little at the end. "THEY'RE MY FRIEND. THEIR NAME IS [Devastator!Friend Name]," you responded. "THEY KINDA JUST CRASH-LANDED NEAR HERE, PROBABLY DUE TO TEYVAT BRINGING THEM HERE OR SOMETHING."

"Oh, so that's the loud noise I heard!" Lawrence exclaimed before looking at your friend. "Alright, since you're friends with the Creator, head on in with him. Just don't cause trouble, okay?"

Your friend nodded his torso again, and the two guards let you two pass. Thank god the gates were still tall enough to allow [Devastator!Friend Name] to fit.

Walking in the city streets, your friend took in all the new sights he processed through his visuals.

"THIS IS NEW, [Name]. I NEVER EXPECTED TO BE IN AN AREA WITH SUCH AN AMIABLE AURA IN MY EXISTENCE!"

As you two walked around, [Devastator!Friend Name] waved to all the locals, with them awkwardly waving hello in return. You decided to give some clarification.

"HELLO AGAIN, LOCALS OF MONDSTADT. THIS IS MY AUTOMATON FRIEND, [Devastator!Friend Name]. THEY CRASH-LANDED HERE, WHICH I PRESUME THAT TEYVAT DID SO." The locals' faces were surprised for a moment with murmurs following that Their Grace had friends of their kind as well.

"I CAN SAFELY SAY, HOWEVER, THAT HE MEANS NO HARM TO ANYONE. HE'S NEW, JUST LIKE ME WHEN I WAS BROUGHT HERE TEN DAYS AGO. DON'T BE SCARED BY HIS TOWERING FORM- HE'S MORE FRIENDLY THAN YOU MAY EXPECT FROM AN AUTOMATON OF HIS STATURE."

Your words seemed to have calmed the locals, even if only a little. After everyone went back to their business, you decided that you would introduce [Devastator!Friend Name] to the first vision wielder you saw.

"Woooooow! You're so much taller than Klee is!"

Oh shit.

While turning a corner, you and [Devastator!Friend Name] ran into Klee gently skipping around Mondstadt.

"HELLO THERE, YOUNG CHILD. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?" your friend asked, kneeling down to the best of his ability and staring at the explosive-obsessed child.

"Hi, I'm Klee! And I like to blow things up!" Ahhhhhhhh fuck you just realized one thing you never considered when your friend arrived.

He likes blowing shit up.

"...DID YOU SAY 'BLOW THINGS UP?'" [Devastator!Friend Name] asked, and Klee nodded vehemently.

"I especially love fish blasting! The cooked fish that flies right out of Starfell Lake is sooooo worth it!"

"HAHA! IT SEEMS I HAVE FOUND A FELLOW EXPLOSIVES ENTHUSIAST! BY PERCHANCE WOULD YOU MIND DEMONSTRATING YOUR EXPLOSIVE CAPABILITIES FOR ME?"

You facepalmed as Klee jumped as she heard those words. "No one told me to actively blow things up!" But then her expression grew apprehensive and a little suspicious. "But Jean says I shouldn't trust people I don't know!"

"I'M A FRIEND OF [Name] OVER HERE." [Devastator!Friend Name] said as he gestured to you, and Klee's expression became one of relief and you decided 'fuck it.' "IF YOU TWO WANT TO GO BLOW SOMETHING UP, I'LL TAKE THE BLAME FOR LETTING YOU TWO DO SO. ONLY THIS TIME THOUGH BECAUSE [Devastator!Friend Name] IS MY FRIEND."

"Yay! Let's go let's go!" Klee said as she began running toward Starfell Lake with you two attempting to catch up.

By the time you two managed to get there (Klee was fucking fast), the shores were littered with a lot of seemingly cooked and burnt fish with Klee throwing bombs everywhere.

"...IS THIS WHAT 'FISH BLASTING' ACTUALLY IS, KLEE?" [Devastator!Friend Name] asked, a little confused by Klee bombing fish in a lake, of all things.

"Yes it is! Ohhhh do you have bombs too? How much fish can you blow up?" Klee asked and [Devastator!Friend Name] laughed.

"LET'S SEE!" One thing to note: your friend, unlike other rocket devastators, likes to launch rockets from all 12 of their rocket tubes at once to guarantee a kill against Helldivers. And also...

...They're a current experimenter for prototype-stage high-explosive rockets with a blast radius of around a fourth of a kilometer.

"HAHAHAHAHA!!! FIRING PAYLOAD!!!" [Devastator!Friend Name] yelled as they launched a full salvo of rockets at the lake. The explosions didn't just create splashes; it nuked whatever was in the vicinity at the time and utterly drenched all three of you in water.

When the noise finally subsided, the area was so messed up that your sensors couldn't pick up anything.

"...DID I GO TOO FAR?" [Devastator!Friend Name] asked, and they got their response when Klee stared at them while shaking with fervent joy.

"THOSE EXPLOSIONS WERE SO COOL!!! YOU HAVE TO LET KLEE KNOW WHAT YOU USED IN THOSE BOMBS!"

[Devastator!Friend Name] couldn't help but laugh at what he caused, and you ended up laughing too at the terror you three survived.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" A familiar voice yelled. The three of you turned to face the Acting Grand Master of Mondstadt.

Jean's expression exuded feelings of horror and anger, likely due to her witnessing your friend's folly.

Klee, however, still radiated energy from the fact that [Devastator!Friend Name] managed to out-explode her bombs. "MASTER JEAN KLEE JUST WITNESSED THE COOLEST EXPLOSIONS EVER!!!"

Current universal taglist (this will be on every work of mine): @catratnap

And @obliviousariies2007es and @wandiethewanderer said in the comments of the last post that they wanted a part 2 so yeah

[mid-sweettalk]

Idk if you're taking any prompts for stuck safe right now but what about Elphie on top and Glinda doesn't last very long because of it lmao.

Whew this got out of hand, as per usual. I just can never write some quick smutty drabbles, they always end up being 5k. Thanks for being patient for this, my friend!

Read on Ao3 or read under the cut! (Warning: omegaverse/ABO smut)

Galinda knows she’s fucked up somehow because Elphaba is being too nice.

Her Omega is stubborn, and she almost always fights Galinda on every request, even little ones, even if only teasingly. Today, though, she’s agreeing with everything Galinda says, answering every question immediately, fulfilling every plea.

“Do we have to go right this clock-tick?” she asks towards the end of breakfast, fifteen minutes before their first lecture. “We can’t just take a moment more to relax before our brains are put to work for the day?” She says this, but she’s already starting to gather her things, because Elphie always insists on arriving to class early.

She nearly trips over the bench when her girlfriend merely shrugs and says, “Alright.” Elphie settles back into her seat and takes a book out of her satchel, as if preparing to wait for her.

Galinda’s not the only one shocked at this; Fiyero, Boq, and Nessarose are all glancing back and forth between the two of them apprehensively.

“Are… you two fighting?” Fiyero asks tentatively, waving his fork to point at them both.

Galinda would answer in the negative, except even she’s suddenly unsure.

Elphie answers, though. Kind of. “Does it seem like we’re fighting?” she asks without looking up from her book.

Fiyero purses his lips uncertainly, but Boq and Nessa speak simultaneously. “No,” Nessa answers as Boq matter-of-factly says, “Yes!” They glance at each other, then back to Elphie, hopeful for clarification.

Green eyes roll upwards. “We’re not fighting. Honestly,” she scoffs. Then, turning briefly to Galinda, she says, “Finish your breakfast, my sweet. I’d rather not be late.”

Galinda’s cheeks heat up slightly as the other three pairs of eyes all turn toward her. She gives a little shrug before moving to pick at the last of her food—it hadn’t been her reason for whining to stay, but she found herself complying anyway. Elphie simply reads until about five minutes later, when Galinda clears her throat and hesitantly says, “Um, okay, are you ready to go darling?”

“Sure, my love,” is Elphie’s immediate reply as she closes her book and rises from her seat.

Galinda had been half-expecting the Omega to say no, so she finds herself scrambling to follow. She glares at Fiyero as he mimics a whipping motion with his hand, but still turns and hurries to catch up to her girlfriend.

Two classes later, Galinda is struggling to pay attention and finds herself whining again, as per usual. “Elphieee,” she whisper-sings, “can’t I just use your notes to study? This is dreadfully boring.” She’s still scribbling along, because she knows her girlfriend will say no.

Except she doesn’t. “Sure, sweet,” she whispers instead without hesitation.

Galinda’s head snaps to look at her incredulously, expecting to see an eyeroll or a stern look. But no, Elphie barely spares her a glance as she continues her diligent note-taking.

“Rest your hand, love,” Elphie reassures. “You can look over my notes later.”

When her girlfriend doesn’t rescind her offer, Galinda slowly puts her fountain pen down and slumps back a bit in her seat. It’s… unsettling, the way Elphie just… agrees. She hadn’t realized before now how much their bickering banter feels like a cornerstone of their relationship; without it, things are too… quiet.

It goes on like this for the rest of the day.

Galinda forgets her pencil for maths, and instead of chastising her for it, Elphie merely gives her a spare. “Make sure to write neatly; Professor’s said he can hardly decipherate your scrawl.”

Galinda complains about wanting classes to be done so they can cuddle, and Elphie hooks a finger beneath her chin to pull her into a soft, languid kiss—in the middle of the cafeteria, in front of their friends. Aside from when they first (officially) got together, Elphie has never kissed her in public beyond a chaste peck—before patting her cheek. “That should be enough to last you for a bit. Now eat your food; we have sparring soon, and you’ll need your energy.” Galinda ignores Fiyero’s “whipped” joke, this time, too stunned and flushed from the sudden display of affection to care in the slightest.

It all sets Galinda on edge, a strange anxiety rising in her chest—no, not anxiety, but anticipation. Something has been up with Elphaba all day, and she has a feeling she’ll figure out exactly what when they get back to their room. The feeling is made worse by the fact that their last lecture separates them, so she all but runs to their dorm once class is dismissed.

She beats Elphie there; in fact, she could swear her girlfriend takes longer to get back to their room than she usually does, most likely because she knows exactly what she’s doing to her.

As soon as Elphie walks through the door, Galinda is speaking. “Did I do something wrong? Is Fiyero right—are you mad at me? If I did, I’m sorry—please just tell me.”

Elphie pauses in the doorway, lips parting slightly in shock at Galinda’s anxious interrogation. She recovers quickly, though, and gives a soft smile as she walks in and closes the door behind her. “No, my sweet, I’m not mad at you.” She goes to place her books down on her desk before walking over to the Alpha squirming uneasily in her seat. “And actually, you’ve been very good for me, today.”

Galinda perks up a bit at that, the praise combined with Elphie’s low voice sending a spark down her spine. “Oh?”

“Mmhm,” Elphie hums affirmatively as she walks up to her, stepping between Galinda’s knees. Galinda’s breath catches as green hands lift to tuck her hair behind her ears and cup just underneath her jaw on both sides. “Very good.”

...oh.

Galinda gulps, hands automatically moving to Elphie’s hips as she steps in close. Her Omega takes control sometimes, sure, but something about this—perhaps because it’s coming after such a strange day—feels different.

“Did you notice,” Elphie continues quietly as her thumbs stroke Galinda’s cheeks, “that even though I was giving you what you wanted all day, you still couldn’t help but obey me?”

“I—” Galinda starts to speak a retort but catches herself as she realizes—Elphaba’s right. Every time Elphie had gone along with what she’d asked for, she’d followed it with an order... and Galinda had just blindly complied. “W-why?” she breathes instead, confused about her girlfriend’s reasoning behind such a charade.

Elphie hums again as one of her hands trails down her neck, nails dragging lightly over Galinda’s throat and causing her to instinctively tilt her head to give her more room. “I wanted to try to give you a semblance of the control you like so much…” she presses her nails harshly into Galinda’s neck and drags downwards, making her hiss,“...before I took it away for the night.”

“Oh, Oz,” Galinda whimpers. She’s not quite sure what to do with herself, stuck holding Elphie’s hips with trembling hands because she so, so wants to see where her Omega will take this. She’s already hardening between her legs, and she knows Elphie can smell how turned on she is by that damned smirk on her face.

“That is,” her Omega says slyly, “if you’d like that?”

Galinda bites her lip to hold back another whimper and nods, not trusting her voice.

But Elphie digs her nails in again, making her gasp. “I need your words, my sweet.”

Oz, she was going to have her begging with less than two minutes of teasing. “Y-yes,” she says, trying to hold onto at least some of her dignity.

Her Omega has other plans. “‘Yes,’ what?”

Fuck. “Yes, please, I’d like that,” she breathes out all at once, face burning.

Elphie hums, satisfied. “Good girl.” Then, she brings down a hand to tug at the collar of Galinda’s shirt. “Clothes off, my Alpha,” she says teasingly before stepping back to start shedding her own.

Galinda, embarrassingly, scrambles to comply, shucking off her dress and shirt and undergarments until she is naked as the day she was born. Her dick is already fully hard and throbbing. She shivers as the cold air hits her flushed skin and waits—rather impatiently—as Elphaba takes her time to undress herself. Galinda’s hands twitch at her sides with the urge to touch her Omega, to help her remove the offending articles of clothing, but Elphie’s voice saying “good girl” rings in her head, and she stays seated.

So, she stares as more and more of Elphie’s skin is revealed, and she adores how confident her Omega has become in her own body, how she knows the effect she’s having on Galinda and very much takes advantage of it. Her hands linger, drifting across her skin whenever she removes another piece of cloth, the only sign of any shyness being the flush to her cheeks as she watches for Galinda’s reactions.

Galinda’s about to tear holes in her sheets with how tightly her fists are clenching them.

Elphie, now fully undressed, smirks at the sight and, curiously, walks over to Galinda’s wardrobe. “Lie back flat on the bed, my sweet. All the way, right in the middle, yes—good girl.” She instructs Galinda while she searches for and finds a sheer, pink scarf amongst Galinda’s things—one she’d briefly played around with while giving Elphie her first makeover.

Galinda’s heart thrums rapidly in her chest as Elphie climbs onto the bed and straddles her stomach, just below her ribs. She immediately goes to put her hands on those wonderocious green hips, but Elphie stops her.

“Here,” her Omega directs, bringing Galinda’s hands together so that her wrists press against each other. Then, with a heated look into her eyes, she starts tying the scarf to lock her hands in place.

Oh.

“Sweet Oz,” she breathes, which Elphie chuckles at.

“Still good, my love?”

“Hell, yes.” Her dick twitches as her Omega tightens the hold on her wrists.

Elphie full-on giggles, a rare sound that makes Galinda’s heart skip a beat. “How’s that?” she asks once the knot is tied.

Galinda tests it, tries to pry her hands apart and can’t, but it’s not uncomfortable at all. “It’s—good,” she chokes out, practically drooling in excitement.

Elphie nods and grabs her hands to kiss the back of her knuckles sweetly. “Now. What do we do if it gets to be too much?” She stares boldly into her eyes as she places feather-light kisses along one of her index fingers, moving toward the tip.

Galinda gulps before responding. “We—we tap three times?”

Elphie nods again before—oh-so-briefly—wrapping her lips around the very tip of her finger. She sucks lightly, darts her tongue out to brush against her skin. Galinda can feel her lips parting at the sight and sensation, can feel her cock pulsing unseen behind her Omega. Elphie sucks again before releasing the finger with a pop and says, “Exactly.”

She slowly brings their conjoined hands up above Galinda’s head, stretching out beautifully above her until their bare chests are pressed together and their faces mere centimeters apart. “Which means,” Elphie continues, “you have to keep your hands here. You won’t be able to reach me very well, for a bit.” Oh, Oz. “Knock on the headboard if you need to, alright, my love?”

Galinda nods frantically, only remembering to use her words when Elphie raises an eyebrow. “Y-yes, ma’am.”

Oh. That’s new. Elphie realizes it as well, her other eyebrow raising in surprise, but the smirk on her face tells Galinda that she likes it.

“Good,” her Omega says, closing the gap between them to gently suck at her bottom lip. Galinda can’t hold back a whine at the feeling. “Good girl,” Elphie continues before kissing her properly, then keeps speaking between kisses as she releases her hands and starts moving down Galinda’s body. “So good for me. My wonderful Alpha. Perfection.”

By the time Elphie reaches her hips, Galinda is embarrassingly sensitive. She places a kiss to the base of her cock, and Galinda’s hands clench into fists above her head. Elphie hums in amusement, and even just her breath ghosting over her hot skin has her hips bucking upwards.

Elphie tsks and presses a hand flat against Galinda’s lower stomach. “Stay still, my sweet. And don’t come until I say so.”

Galinda groans. “I’m—I’m not sure how long I’m going to last, to be honest.” She can’t tear her eyes away from the green hand that now moves to wrap around her length.

“I think you can be strong for me,” Elphie says lowly, placing slow kisses from where her hands sits up to the swollen tip. “Don’t you want to be good, darling?”

“Oh, hell and Oz.” She’s dying. Elphie’s going to kill her. The Omega raises an eyebrow, green eyes piercing as she mouths at the side of her cock. “Yes, I’ll—I’ll be good.”

Those beautiful green lips lift into a smirk before parting to wrap around her. Galinda’s whole body tenses with the effort it takes not to immediately bury herself completely in that wet warmth. She grabs onto one of the pillows behind her head to keep from reaching down to her Omega.

She doesn’t have to wait long though; Elphie’s apparently had enough teasing, because she squeezes the base and dips her head down until her lips meet her hand. Galinda throws her head back at the feeling of her tongue. “Fuck, Elphie,” she moans. She feels herself pulsing inside her Omega’s mouth, feels her hips twitching beneath the hand that holds them in place.

Elphie moans around her cock and squeezes the base one more time before removing her hand so she can swallow more of her. Her cheeks hollow as she sucks and bobs her head, sinking lower inch by inch until Galinda can feel herself hitting the back of her throat. Elphie gags for a split second and digs her nails into Galinda’s hips to stabilize herself before taking her even deeper.

Oz, Galinda really isn’t going to last long. Something about the way her Omega takes control is just driving her absolutely wild. Normally, at this point, she’d grab hold of Elphie in some way to ground herself, but not having that option is sending her spiraling.

Elphie swallows, her tongue pressing along the underside of her cock before she takes a long breath through her nose and sinks all the way down. Galinda can feel her throat working around her, swallowing as Elphie adjusts to the intrusion. She sees a couple tears escape Elphie’s eyes as she gags again and—fuck, she’s so fucking close.

“E-Elphie, I don’t—” a whimper cuts her off as her Omega bobs her head up, then back down. “I need to—I can’t—” Oz, she can’t even get a full sentence out. Her vision is tunneling, thighs tensing, fuck she can’t hold it back—

Elphie quickly slides up and off of her cock, leaving it shiny with spit. Galinda moans as the cold air hits her, her hips twitching as her orgasm is denied.

“Don’t you dare,” Elphie says, voice raspy. “Not yet. Okay?”

Galinda takes a deep, shaky breath, closing her eyes for a moment to gather herself. “O-okay,” she says, though she really doesn’t have much faith in herself.

Elphie pushes herself up and crawls so that she’s straddling Galinda’s hips, hovering just above where Galinda needs her the most. “It’s a shame,” she says after clearing her throat. “I wanted to stay down there longer—but I want you to come inside me more.”

“Oh, Oz, Elphie,” Galinda whines. She feels as if she could cry with desperation. If she wasn’t so thoroughly turned on, she’d be very much embarrassed at how quickly she’s become so needy.

Elphaba wraps her hand around the slick shaft and positions herself over the tip, staring into her eyes brazenly as she slowly drops herself down. Galinda gasps, trying with all her might not to thrust upward or, Oz forbid, come instantly. She’s always loved Elphie’s praise, but she’s never craved it quite this much—she wants so, so badly to be good for her Omega.

It is very, very difficult to do so.

Elphie starts by lifting herself up, then dropping down further than before. Galinda holds her breath as she repeats this cycle until she bottoms out, completely filled. They both groan at the sensation. Galinda can’t hold back a thrust of her hips as she’s surrounded in Elphie’s wetness.

Elphaba doesn’t chastise her, but simply starts moving her hips to ride her, leaning forward slightly to press a hand to Galinda’s chest and prop herself up. Galinda’s hands twitch with the urge to pull her down into a kiss, to grab onto those hips and fuck her properly, but she fears Elphie will stop if she does so—and that is definitely the last thing she wants.

“You fill me so well, my sweet,” Elphie says breathlessly as she rides her faster, drops her hips harder against her. “You can—fuck—you can come when I do, okay?”

Oz, Galinda hopes that will be soon; she’s not sure how much more of this she can take. But she nods quickly and gasps out, “Yes—y-yes, ma’am. Fuck...”

Elphie moans loudly and scrapes her nails down Galinda’s chest in response before straightening up. She then leans back slightly, bracing her palms against Galinda’s thighs as she continues to roll her hips. Galinda’s eyes drop down, and she can’t help but stare at the sight of her cock pumping in and out of her Omega, slick dripping down her shaft and making Elphie’s thighs shine.

She can feel herself twitch and bites her lip. “E-Elphie I’m—fuck, I’m close, I can’t—” She’s so close. So close.

Nails dig into her thighs. “Not y-yet, baby,” Elphie warns, slowing her hips to a steady rocking motion before bringing one of her hands to rub at her clit.

Watching doesn’t help matters at all, so Galinda squeezes her eyes shut, desperately trying to stave off her orgasm. But Elphie’s having none of that.

“Look at me,” she says, squeezing Galinda’s thigh again. Galinda whimpers, but doesn’t open her eyes. “Glin.”

Her eyes shoot open at the sound of her pet name said so firmly, and she almost reluctantly looks back to her Omega.

“W-watch me ride you, my love,” Elphie says, walls fluttering around Galinda’s cock. “Just a little longer—y-you can do it.”

Fuck, but she really can’t. Galinda shakes her head, tears falling from her eyes now as she tries so hard to hold back. The sight of her Omega, on top of her, filled with her, flushed and wanting as she touches herself—combined with the actual feeling of being inside her, it’s too much, it’s too much.

But she has to be good.

“Elphie, I can’t, I—” a sob breaks free from her throat, she’s so close, so wet and warm, it’s right there, she’s so fucking close—

“Fuck, Elphie!” Her vision goes white as her hips buck upwards, fists white-knuckling the pillow behind her head as she empties herself into her Omega. She can feel pulse after pulse of cum leave her, spilling inside Elphie as each wave of pleasure washes over her. She doesn’t think she’s ever before had an orgasm so intense outside of her rut.

As her body comes down from her high, Galinda, panting, opens her eyes once more. All at once, she registers the sight of Elphie staring down at her with a raised eyebrow, the stillness of both her hips and the wet walls still surrounding her now-softening—oh. Oh, shit.

Elphie didn’t come. Galinda couldn’t listen, couldn’t be good, and now she’s come without finishing off her Omega.

Her face burnsas a few leftover tears fall from her eyes. She loathes this feeling, like she’s disappointed her Omega, left her unsatisfied. She practically starts babbling, saying, “N-no, I’m sorry, I—I didn’t mean—I tried, Elphie, I—”

Elphaba’s expression softens into concern as she leans down. She cups her face and wipes the tears away, shushing her softly before pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. “It’s alright, my sweet, it’s alright,” she says, pumping out soothing pheromones. She slowly lifts her hips until Galinda slips out of her, drawing a whimper from them both, and then lays her full body weight against her. She peppers kisses all over Galinda’s face and whispers the entire time. “I’m sorry, my love, it’s okay. You’re perfect. My wonderful Alpha. I love you so much.”

It doesn’t take very long for Galinda to calm down, only a few minutes, but she’s definitely a bit embarrassed after the fact. “I’m sorry,” she says in a near-whisper once she feels like she has more of a hold on herself.

“No, no, my love,” Elphie says as she lightly rubs their noses together. “I’m sorry. That was too much, wasn’t it? I shouldn’t have pushed you.”

Galinda bites her lip as she thinks about it all. “It—it was intense, but. Only because I’m so used to taking care of you, I think. I just didn’t want to... disappoint you.”

Elphie’s eyebrows shoot up. “Disappoint me? Galinda, you could never.”

“Well, I mean...” Galinda huffs, blowing strands of blonde hair out of her face as her cheeks burn. “The threat of it—it was part of what I liked, part of what made it so... hot, if I’m being honest,” she confesses. “I just wanted... to be good for you. I... very much enjoyed it. Frankly, I came so hard I think I nearly passed out. You’re the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life, darling.”

Elphie breathes out a laugh at that, but her face is still filled with concern, unease. “Here, my sweet, let me—” she goes to untie the scarf around Galinda’s hands.

“No, wait,” Galinda says, pulling her arms up more so that Elphie can’t reach. The questioning gaze directed at her makes her heart skip a beat, but she continues. “Can I—can I taste you? Like this?” She wiggles her hands a bit.

Elphie’s lips part slightly, eyebrows raising as her own cheeks darken as well. “O-oh. Are you sure, sweet?”

Oh, she’s definitely sure. Galinda has to hold back a shiver at the mere thought. If she hadn’t just had one of the best orgasms of her life, she’d probably already be hard again. “Absolutely,” she breathes. “If you’d like that,” she tacks on, tone shifting to tease slightly as she can tell her Omega does like the idea.

Elphie bites her lip and studies her for a moment more, as if trying to make sure Galinda’s serious, but she eventually nods. “Alright.” She sits up and starts scooting her hips up toward Galinda’s face. “Move down a bit for me, love?”

Galinda wiggles herself further down so there’s more space between her head and the headboard, and then her breath hitches as Elphie is suddenly hovering directly over her face.

She’s drenched.

“Oz, Elphie,” she whispers, simultaneously thrilled at the fact that her arms are trapped and wishing that she could grab onto those beautiful green thighs. “All this for me?”

“Yes, well,” Elphie averts her gaze, blush spreading down her neck, “if you recall, I was rather close when I had to stop. And some of it is from you, anyway.”

“Fuck.” As Elphie says that, Galinda watches as a mixture of their cum leaks out of her. She swears her mouth is watering. “Come here,” she says lowly, and Elphie complies.

The taste of her is heavenly, especially combined with the sounds Elphie makes as Galinda’s tongue licks her over. It doesn’t take long before Elphaba collapses forward a bit, thighs shaking where she straddles Galinda. Green hands slide into her own, interlacing their fingers and holding on for dear life as she starts to ride Galinda’s face.

Galinda moans at the combined taste of their cum as she presses her tongue to Elphie’s entrance. The whines her Omega makes as she grinds down against her mouth make her dizzy as her thighs tense. She holds tightly onto Elphie’s hands as she devours her, licking inside her before moving up to wrap her lips around the Omega’s clit. Elphie shudders above her as Galinda sucks and licks at the sensitive nub, each breath releasing a moan or a curse.

“Oz, you’re s-so good, Glin,” Elphie says with a gasp. “Fuck—so good for me, my Alpha.”

Galinda whimpers against her and feels her hips twitch at the praise—and she surprisingly realizes that she’s getting hard again.

“I love your mouth, darling,” Elphie continues. “I want to—to come just like this.” Her voice pitches higher as she gets more desperate.

Galinda can feel the wetness covering her mouth and chin. She isn’t sure when exactly she closed her eyes, but she opens them now to look up at her girlfriend’s flushed face as she rides her. Elphie’s jaw is dropped down and showing that perfect gap between her teeth as her eyebrows pinch upwards. The sight makes Galinda groan as her hips thrust into the air.

That draws Elphie’s attention behind her, and when she looks back down to Galinda, it’s with an awe that makes the Alpha’s heart race. Elphaba removes her hands from Galinda’s own and immediately starts untying the scarf around her wrists. Galinda’s mouth and tongue still in confusion as her face scrunches up, and then Elphie is lifting herself up onto her knees, pulling away from her face.

Before Galinda can ask for her reasoning, though, Elphie says, “Touch yourself, my sweet,” and pushes on her hands.

“Oh, fuck,” Galinda moans before complying, sliding her arms beneath Elphie’s hips until she can hook one under and around a muscular, green thigh. The other hand immediately moves down to wrap around her cock, and as she starts pumping that hand, Elphie settles back down over her mouth.

Galinda licks her Omega’s wet, swollen pussy with abandon, moving back and forth between teasing at her entrance and swirling around her clit. That taste that’s distinctly Elphie floods her mouth, and they both moan together. One hand clutches desperately at Elphie’s thigh as the other slides up and down along her aching dick, still slightly sensitive from coming the first time.

Elphie, no longer able to hold Galinda’s hands for leverage, instead moves one hand to steady herself on the headboard while the other finds purchase in Galinda’s curls. She rambles on above her, saying how much she loves this, how good Galinda is for her, how she wants to come together. Her hips stutter against Galinda’s mouth as she clearly approaches the edge once more.

“S-so good, baby—make yourself come with me, my sweet, my Alpha, I’m so close... d-don’t stop, don’t stop, I’m almost—G-Glin!”

Elphaba coming apart is one of the most beautiful things Galinda’s ever seen; she doesn’t think she’ll ever tire of the sight, and that—combined with the fresh flood of wetness that gushes into her mouth and over her chin, the hand tightening in her hair, a precise squeeze to the base of her cock—is enough to make her come a second time. Galinda sees stars behind her eyelids as the tension rushes up her spine and explodes from her throat in a moan. She feels warmth splash onto her stomach and hand but barely registers it as she focuses on licking up as much of Elphie’s cum as she possibly can. Both of their hips twitch through their respective releases as they ride out their orgasms together.

She doesn’t stop moving her tongue until Elphie pats the top of her head three times. Galinda then releases her hold on the thigh trembling next to her head, and Elphie shakily shifts to move off of her. A green hand passes her a tissue from the nightstand and then comes to rest against her chest as Elphie lies next to her. Galinda wipes the mess of her cum off of her hand and stomach as best as she can. Once she’s cleaned up, she slides an arm underneath her Omega and pulls her close.

Elphie nuzzles the side of Galinda’s face, pressing lazy kisses to her cheek and jaw as she catches her breath. “I love you,” she whispers, “my wonderful Alpha. You did so good for me.”

She sounds completely spent, which only further lifts Galinda’s pride up from the depths to which it had fallen earlier. “I love you,” she says back, turning her head to kiss those perfect green lips. “I love you so much. So, so much.”

Another kiss, and this time Elphie draws it out, makes it slow and languid and licks at her lips until Galinda opens for her. She moans, assumedly at the taste of herself on Galinda’s tongue, and kisses her deeply until she’s satisfied and collapses into Galinda’s neck.

“Oz,” Elphie breathes.

“Just ‘Glinda’ is fine,” Galinda says coyly, receiving a light smack on her chest in return. Galinda can’t help but give a soft chuckle as she gently strokes along her Omega’s back. She hums and pulls her impossibly closer, bringing her other hand up to stroke at the dark braids atop Elphie’s head. “Next time, I get to tie you up,” she murmurs cheekily.

“Mm, whatever you want,” Elphie responds tiredly, nearly melting against the Alpha as she scratches lightly at her scalp.

Galinda chuckles again at the notion that her Omega has temporarily lost the energy usually reserved for arguing. It’s not the same as earlier; this time, there is a very clear reason for why Elphie is so agreeable. Galinda places a kiss to her forehead before nuzzling into her hair. She’ll always love their bickering and banter, but having her Omega slumped against her, fucked and satisfied, has to be one of her favorite feelings in all of Oz.

[ominoose]

girl you've got to write more for sam fortner 🙏🏻

Pairing: Sam Fortner x Reader

Prompt: Building a Lego set together

Summary: As Sam's long-term, not paying, unconsensual room-mate, he decides to buy a Lego set for you both to do after you complain about having nothing to do chained up in a basement.

Warnings: Kidnapping, captivity, stockholm syndrome

WC: 1.5K

If I ever meet Domnhall I'd ask him what Sam was ordering from Dunkin to get him pissing that long. Still can't believe he's obsessed with Kenny Chesney smfh, worse than being a serial killer. Also LETS GO we have a third person in the Sam Fortner fandom ily.

The way the human mind becomes so accustomed to nothing was almost impressive, if you had the energy to mull over it properly, at least. When you've been chained down to the same room for six months with nothing to break the monotony besides the comings and goings of an abnormally casual serial killer and the odd crossword he brings you, not even the complexities of your own psychology moves your brain out of its sluggish cage.

Counting the thread count of the floral duvet kept you occupied for the first few days only, same with the ceiling tiles, books on out of reach shelves and the stack of dusty old boardgames. Half a year in, and even with the addition of the mini fridge and couch, your mind was practically shrinking with boredom.

Sam had noticed, even coming home, adrenaline through the roof and blood drumming in his ears after a recent kill, surprised that you barely lifted your head in acknowledgement of his arrival before plopping it back down on the pillow.

When he asked over some unique Thai food with a taro egg tart the next night all you could do was shrug in response while you poked at the food.

"I'm just... bored." The words sounded muffled despite being spoken clearly, so quiet and monotone.

Two days later Sam slid through the glass doors that were your only view to the outside world, his steps excitable like the time he brought back food from a new Nepali restaurant that opened. Unlike the usual nightly routine, instead of the rustling of plastic as he unpacked and announced the newest food place he'd discovered, it was the dull thud of a box that roused you.

"I saw this on sale when I was going to Dunkin after work, you would not believe the price a Lego set goes for these days." Slender fingers were already picking at the tape securing the cardboard, placing the separate plastic baggies across the table, "I know you've been feeling bored lately, so I thought we could do this together. I haven't touched Legos since I was a kid but uh, it'll make a nice decoration for your room when we're done at least. Plus it comes with different variants of leaves, pretty cool huh?"

With a stretch and pop to your back, you drag yourself up and sluggishly dump yourself into the chair at the end of the bed, brows furrowed as you look over the un-assembled bonsai tree.

"A Lego set?" The questioned was whispered more to yourself than to Sam, but he glanced up at you through his lashes as he finished laying it all out, running his hands over the thighs of his jeans.

"Yeah. I uh, thought it would give you something to do. I'll help you start it up and then you can finish it when you want. If you like it I can get you some more another time."

By the time he actually serves out dinner and finishes it, you've both made it as far as the small wooden table the bonsai sits on, a surprising amount of progress considering how soon Sam's temper reared its head.

"God fucking damn it!" Bricks danced across the small table as Sam slammed his fist, immediately recoiling it and squeezing his hands in his lap. The anger was clearly simmering just beneath the surface, clear in how he bit his lower lip, in how he shook his head to himself.

All you could do was sigh, picking up the brick he'd abandoned and try to place it yourself. It was a tight squeeze, a finicky, awkward angle for sure, but with a patient hand it sunk down with a satisfying click.

Sam stared silently, jaw clenched.

"It's no big deal." The soft tone was meant to placate him. At some point you'd accepted and trusted deep down that he'd never harm you, his word held weight. That didn't mean him bringing home a body or pacing while he ranted about his newest hate fixation was pleasant.

"It is." Sam snapped back quickly, hand quickly rubbing over his mouth as he spread out over his lazy boy, a sigh escaping from the depths of his chest, "This was meant to be us bonding and I...."

The words trailed off, but you both understand what went unsaid. Sam brought you here partly because you were a surprise witness to a murder, partly because he wanted a friend, painfully aware of how empty his social life was. Keeping you chained to the basement with a double bed, a couch and mini fridge as opposed to the dark, dank cupboard with exposed pipes was a constant reminder that he held you a cut above the usual bodies he brought back. Every morning and night he shared a meal with you, attempted conversation, asked about the life you had before with the casualty of talking about the weather. One of your first lessons there was to not ice him out, he didn't have the patience for it and didn't want to keep dead weight around.

But when did acquiescing become acceptance? When did you last answer him to keep him placated before your next answer was to see him smile, scoff, surprised? Was it to distract yourself from the boredom, clinging to every conversation to feel anything, or did his mannerisms, expressions, physicality authentically draw you in?

You'd gotten good at reading him in the absence of anyone else, recognised the stress by how his jaw, hands and shoulders held it. The captivity was so far past it's novelty and so deeply casual that it took several moments for your brain to register how problematic it was to place your hand over his closed fist, the connotations of comfort and connection so far from appropriate to give to the man that kept you connected with a padlocked chain.

The touch took him by surprise just as much as you, but he showed it only with his eyes when they flashed up to look at you through dark lashes, his face a mask as he scoured your entirety for a why.

"We are bonding," The hand pulls back, the warmth of his knuckle lingered, "Legos can be frustrating, it's fine."

Sam stayed silent still, your words not quickly shoving the tension and situation on as you'd hoped. Still he just looked at you, slouched into the chair, legs spread, head cocked only slightly. The lingering heat from his hand coursed under every inch of your skin.

When he leaned forward it was sudden, a few beats spent still just gazing at you to keep you guessing before he pushes the table to the side with his foot, plastic bricks scattering to the floor as he pulls you sideways across his lap.

The sight of his outstretched hands reaching for you triggered a freeze response, mind like a cog caught in gum, jolting back and forth in the same loop. It gave him time to settle you snug against his chest, your head nestled next to his, reddish brown hair tickling your nose. Every deep breath was a lungful of musk and linen.

"Thank you." It was like his mind had taken your touch as permission, that one act of comfort slid through the crack of a door now flung open for him to make himself at home.

His heart was calm, paced, the opposite of your own wild palpitations until his hand came up to your head and slowly, softly began petting. The large palm almost covered your entire skull and again his heat seeped into you, from his hand, his chest, his thighs, soothing you as if you were a skittish stray. Truly, that wasn't far from the truth.

Your body sunk into his without permission, your chest came down from it's heaving, eyes drooped shut. The part of your brain still roaming free outside shook at the bars, throwing words like "Murderer", "Victim", "Stockholm" at the walls but your body was running on something primal, a base instinct, a need to revel in the nearest comfort.

The feel of his head turning pulled your attention from within as you met his blue eyes, opening your entire soul to him without a second thought. He dove straight in and read you to filth, devoured you whole.

There wasn't enough time for your breath to catch in your throat when his other palm pressed over the soft flesh of your thigh, his lips following soon after, inhaling the breath and your soul.

You'd imagined such a moment, curled under the duvet in the dark, thinking of him just a wall away in his own dreams. What would it feel like if he kissed you? Common sense suggested you'd revolt, be filled with disgust, would never part with your last shred of dignity. Now reality granted you an opposite scenario as you parted your lips and let him into one of the few places he'd yet stolen into.

As his hand cupped your head and held your waist as if you hadn't been chained, as if there was a possibility you could still abandon him, you realised even if the weight at your ankle lifted you'd have remained rooted in his grasp.

The chain was only on your leg, not your heart. Sam had captured that long ago.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

🔪 for Chris!

🔪 Awake surgery

CW: Referenced hand whump, blood, sadism, reluctant whumper, facility whump, BBU

"You have got to be joking." The doctor dried his hands off on the single-use towel he held, watching through the one-way window as the trainee inside sat, shaking his head at a nurse who was speaking to him in a low voice. He shook it less like he was saying no and more like he was simply denying that she was speaking at all. "Him again? What the fuck is Petrus doing to this kid? It's only been, what, four days since I got him out of the clinic in the first place!"

"I mean, you know what he does to him, he's one of the little sluts." The handler rolls his eyes. "Petrus fucks him stupid, not that any of them have brains to begin with. But this time 223499 dropped a glass during his Mixology class. Can't pin it this one on Petrus, it's all on 499 being a little bitch again. His Mixology instructor says he's a clumsy little shit."

"Great. Okay." Dr. Ross has a headache already. He hates this place, hates the crude, aggressive handlers and the way they talk about - and to - the trainees. He hates sewing the injured trainees up only to see them again, with new wounds needing dressed and new terror in their eyes. He hates everything about this job except the paycheck.

He can't wait to get another job and get the hell out of here.

The Facility gets to him - it works its way down under his skin, seeing the haunted, nervous way the trainees looked around all the time, trying to guess where pain would come from next. Trying to curry favor, to avoid the torture constantly forced on them anyway. He's been seeing their frightened faces and hearing them beg in his dreams far too often. "So he's here because..."

"It's a deep cut." The handler shrugs. "He needs stitches."

Dr. Ross looks back at the trainee. 223499 is holding perfectly still while the nurse turns his hand over. His palm is a mess of blood, darker than the new-penny shine of his hair. The trainee's stained fingers twitch nervously.

He's just a kid.

The same kid who'd automatically gone to his knees just a week ago, ready to do whatever he was commanded to, thoughtless obedience making the doctor's stomach turn.

He has to get out of here.

Dr. Ross swallows, feeling like there's a lump in his throat he just can't quite get rid of it. "Fine. I'll prep something to numb his hand, we'll give him a little bit of-"

"Nah." The handler shrugs, looking bored. "His primary's got a note on his file, didn't you see it? No painkillers for three weeks. Not even topical."

Dr. Ross watches 223499 flinch away from the nurse, who slaps him, making him cry out. The sound is muffled through the one-way window. As is the apology the boy provides immediately, stammering through it, only to be slapped again. This time, he doesn't cry out. He only cringes back, hunching into himself, and keeps his eyes down.

It makes Dr. Ross feel sick.

"... fine," He says, realizing the silence is drawing out too long. "I'll get him sewn up. He can go back to his room once it's done. Tell Petrus to leave him alone for one night, at least?"

The handler snorts with dry humor. "Yeah, good luck on that. But I'll tell him you said so. You want me to help you strap him down?"

Dr. Ross doesn't let himself look at the trainee again. "Yeah. Come in and strap him down while I prep."

"You got it, Doc." The handler gives him a lazy salute.

The kid doesn't fight being strapped down, but it doesn't matter. Once the work begins, the kid's back arches, he screams and thrashes wordlessly, then... even worse, he makes noises after like he's dying, low moaning sounds that seem barely human. He's shuddering, whispering apologies when all he'd done was drop a glass and try to clean it up too fast.

Dr. Ross goes home that night with the trainee's screaming in his ears. He hears the sounds the kid makes once the needle goes into his skin all weekend in his nightmares.

On Monday, he emails his resignation, effective immediately.

He's smart enough to have a one-way ticket booked for a country WRU isn't operating in before anyone reads it.

[hayffiebird]

How do you think Effie and haymitch met?

Hi anon! And thanks for asking! (mini-oneshot, under the cut) I always imagined Effie being Haymitch’s second escort when she was a young woman and he was a sorta young man. On the train to Twelve, new on the job, she’s very “first day of school! First day of school!” and eager to make a difference sort of like Sejanus Plinth. She’s ambitious and driven and also naive enough to think “with me on board we will have victors left and right!” Before the Reaping she decides on her own to visit the Victor’s Village and introduce herself personally to her now co-worker. She’s quite star-struck I think, on the way over there - what with the romanticized image the Capitol has of him. Obviously she doesn’t know the truth about Haymitch’s murdered family. No one really does in her city. She’s also super impressed that he won The Second Quarter Quell - one of the most difficult Games in Panem's history, and without a mentor at that! She’s probably a little smitten too (or at least she was as a young girl). Taken by those dark curls and intense gray eyes in a sort of “toughened by life but love will set him free” kind of way. But when she actually finally meet Mr. Haymitch Abernathy he effectively smashes all the illusions Effie ever had of him in less than five minutes. She goes from dazzled to disbelieving to annoyed and they end up having the first of many arguments. I imagine it went something like this:

Standing there in the middle of the kitchen Effie felt the mentor’s eyes travel up and down her body. He held a bottle of spirits in one hand, elbows on the unbelievably filthy table. And in the other, a knife - an actual KNIFE! “Who sent you?” he finally asked. “It ain’t m’birthday.” The shadow of a crease re-appeared between Effie’s eyebrows but then the smile was right back on. “Mr. Abernathy!” She stepped forward and extended a hand. “Euphemia. Euphemia Trinket, the new escort. My friends call me Effie. You can call me Effie if you want. Delighted to make your acquaintance and might I just add what an honor it is to finally meet. I’ve heard so much about you! I’m sure we’re going to make the most fabulous of teams!” Haymitch ignored the outstretched hand. Instead he brought the bottle to his lips, having a few good mouthfuls. “What happened to Dandruff?" he asked in a bored voice. "Ol’ bat finally bit the dust?" “Mrs Dandridge decided to retire. I’m here in her place. Arrived just a few days ago, and my, am I already in LOVE with your … your … quaint district.” “I know right,” he mimicked her voice, dripping with sarcasm. He poured a good amount of the clear liquid into a cracked glass full of sticky fingerprints and extended it to her. “Well, this calls for a toast, don't ya think? Bottom’s up, lil’ lady." “Um, tempting but no thank you,” she said. “I don’t make it a habit of drinking when I'm at work. Especially not this early. Got to keep a level head," she thrilled. "A big big big day today!” Haymitch tsked, eyes on the ceiling. "I'd say." And he downed the drink for her. “Guess this is my lucky day, huh? They finally got rid of ol’ Ice Crotch and now a squeaky lil’ duckling fresh out of the egg’s gonna help me out.” “W-wha … excuse me? Duckling? Squeaky?! I think you’ll find me more than qualified for the job. I graduated from the Academy at the top of my class!” “Yeah, takes a lot o’ brains to send kids off for slaughter.” Effie stared at him. “B-being chosen to participate in The Hunger Games - the biggest event of the year, is a great honor and …” “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he snarled. “Save it for the cameras, why don’t ya?” At a loss for words Effie watched the man finish his bottle, down to the last drop, only to reach for the next. “The Reaping is in an hour,” she said. “So?" “So maybe you ought to slow down? And I trust it you’ll freshen up before then? Take a shower and find an outfit that’s a little more, um, suitable for the … special occasion.” “Meh,” Haymitch shrugged. “Haven’t decided if I’m gonna go.” “You have to go!” The words burst from her lips before she could stop them. “You’re expected! I’ll look like a fool!” In reply, Haymitch snapped the seal on the bottle. With one expert twist. “Don’t need me for something you already accomplished, sweetheart.” He tipped the liquor into his mouth. “Guess I’ll be seeing you around.”

[estrellami-1]

Star baby when you have time could we please have more of the title screen fic? I’m so invested in what you’re going to do with eddie being the streamer Steve has been watching, will eddie say something on his streams that lets Steve know it’s eddie? Will steve keep coming back to the game store to play/ hang out with eddie? This is a cute one you could do a million parts and I would be on board for every one 💜

Darling! I’m SO sorry to keep you waiting!! Hopefully this meets your expectations. ❤️

Title Screen - Part 2

Steve doesn’t come back in just for Eddie, he swears.

It doesn’t hurt, of course, that Eddie lights up when the little bell above the door jingles. “Steve!” He grins. “Hey, what’re you here for?”

Steve flushes down to his toes, it feels like. “Feel free to tell me if I’m abusing some policy or whatever-”

Eddie waves him off and over to the console. “It’s still set up for you! Any plans for today?”

“I’d like to fish,” Steve admits. “Maybe trade with someone.”

Eddie hums. “Your first step in world domination?”

Steve snorts. “Exactly.”

They talk as Steve plays, and Eddie is even able to help him some.

Steve adamantly does not think about the thump in his chest every time he makes Eddie laugh.

He goes back home later and gets back on YouTube. His traitorous brain is deciding to take Eddie’s knowledge as a challenge, so he finds HFClub again and clicks on the next video he hasn’t seen.

“Oh, Dingus,” Robin sings, appearing in his doorway. She grins, a self-satisfied smirk of a thing, when she hears the audio. “Caesar salad sound good for dinner?”

Steve hums, pauses the video, lets his phone drop onto his chest. “D’you want me to help chop things?”

Robin smiles at him. “If you cut the chicken I’ll love you forever.”

Steve snorts, rolls his eyes. “You just don’t like touching raw chicken.”

“It’s slimy!” Robin defends herself. She flaps her hand at him as she turns to head to the kitchen. “Bring your phone, I wanna see what you’re watching, too.”

Steve snorts again, but does as she asks. The video plays, then the next one, and at one point the narrator laughs, and something about it sounds familiar. He wonders if he’s thinking of Robin’s laugh, but hers is rather nasally and giggly, and while the narrator’s is definitely a giggle, it’s got a little snort at the end that Robin doesn’t have.

He wonders if it sounds like one of his kids, but nothing’s ringing a bell, so he finally lets it go in favor of letting Robin’s rambling wash over him.

He restrains himself the next day—the next week, really—but eventually he does have to go back.

Eddie’s there again, grinning at him through the window. “Hey, Steve!” He bounces over and leans against a shelf. “And what brings you in today? More world domination?”

Steve laughs. “Maybe,” he allows. “I’m actually here for Dustin’s birthday present, and I’m hoping you can help, even if you don’t have it. He was talking about some kind of figurine, the last time we talked? Something based on one of your campaigns, I think.”

“Oh!” Eddie grins and scampers further into the shop. “The Hellrider Badge!” He digs through a bin and holds something up. “Not a figurine, it’s for his costume. And may I suggest…” he digs through another bin and unearths a pouch, opening it and pouring coins into his hand. “Barovian coins!”

Steve blinks and holds out his hand, looking at the badge and coins before smiling up at Eddie. “I’m gonna admit, I have no idea what any of this is for, but I’m willing to trust you.” He hands the items back to Eddie, who grins and takes them behind the counter.

“High praise, I’ll try my best to live up to it. You wanna pay now and go? Or I can hold these for later… maybe after a certain game?”

Steve chuckles. “How bored do you get here?”

Eddie shrugs. “It’s usually pretty empty. It definitely has its moments, though.”

Steve snorts. “I don’t doubt it.” He wanders over to the counter. “What’s your craziest story?”

Eddie hums in thought. “Probably the time that one guy threatened arson because we didn’t have what he wanted.”

Steve’s jaw drops. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope. I believe his exact words were I’ll burn this place to the ground. And he wasn’t kidding, either, we had to get the police involved. Thankfully this was back when my uncle still worked here, so it wasn’t just one of us here with Psycho, y’know?”

“Your uncle used to work here? That’s cool.”

“I- yeah? He- I- um.” He rubs a hand over the back of his neck, blush rising on his cheeks. “He owned it? And then I took over when he retired.”

Steve laughs. “So that’s why you’re always here!”

Eddie chuckles. “Was that question plaguing you? You could’ve asked.”

Steve just shrugs, smirking as he says, “it added to the mystery.”

[soppingwetlegs]

Nothing

Pro!Bakugo (23) x Fem!Reader (23 plus sized, I can’t help it)

I recently rediscovered nothing by Bruno major and my brain went buurrrrrr so I had to write this fluffy bullshit I’m sorry I’m sorry.

warnings: slight body dysmorphia??? this is really just pure fluff and it’s honestly kinda trash but if I didn’t write it I was going to lose my natural alignment.

“Come on, babe we’re gonna be late!” Katsuki calls up the stairs of our shared home. It was just one of those days…one of those god awful days where I just feel…bad. None of my clothes are fitting how I want them to, no matter how I style my hair my face still looks too round in my opinion, just..everything was wrong; of course this had to happen on date night. I come downstairs still in my pajamas, Katsuki was already dressed, wearing a white button down with the sleeves half rolled, black dress pants and dress shoes, along with a look of pure confusion and slight anger. “You look so handsome, kats” I say sadly, trying to ignore his confused gaze. “Is there a reason you’re not dressed? I already pushed the reservation back twice…we’re gonna lose our table.” He says running a stressed hand through his mess of blond hair.

I couldn’t hold it back any longer, the tears fall before I can even process the fact that I’m crying. “I-I’m sorry, Katsuki…I j-just..” he rushes to my side, knowing what’s going on without the need for an explanation. “I see, you don’t need to explain anything to me, baby. I can tell what’s wrong…we’ll have a lazy night in then, huh? Sound good to you?” I nod happily, wiping my face clean of the tear trails. I take my place on the couch while Katsuki goes upstairs to change into comfortable clothes himself.

I make us some popcorn and gather as many snacks as I can find, chocolate, chips, the whole shebang, once I get back into the living room I see him man spreading on the couch, wearing grey sweats and a black tank top. “God damn…you’re so sexy, Kats” he lets out a low chuckle as his crimson eyes rake over my body. “Don’t start something you can’t finish, doll. We’re supposed to be being lazy and like…boring tonight, right?” I laugh softly, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear, a pink blush dusting my cheeks. “Sorry, sorry…I’ll behave.” I promise before happily sitting next to him on the couch, sprawling all the snacks on the table before pulling the blanket over us. He grabs the switch controllers and hands me one with a smirk. “Mario Kart?”

I take the controller from him and lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees as he starts the game up. He chooses bowser which is oh so fitting and I pick daisy of course, to which he snickers and mumbles something along the lines of “fuckin’ princess..” I roll my eyes but ultimately ignore him, as the first race begins. I anxiously chew on my bottom lip as I try my best, I can’t help but notice that he’s doing really badly and I let out a small laugh. “Babe are you even trying?” I look over to see him staring at me, his gaze is so soft and loving, yet intense. I feel my face heat up as I shrink away from his crimson stare. “Hellllooooo earth to Katsuki..” he just smiles and sets the controller down. “There aren’t many people I’d honestly say I don’t mind losing to…you just look so damn cute when you get all excited about winning.” I smile softly and shove his shoulder. “Cheese ball…when did you get so sappy?” He sucks his teeth and shrugs, leaning back against the couch. “Dunno, you bring out the bitch in me, babe.” I roll my eyes and get up from the couch, turning off the switch and putting Netflix on.

“Wanna watch a movie?” I say grabbing the remote and sitting back down next to him. “Yeah, I’m okay with that.” I scroll through the movies and smile at his annoyed groan when I pick “the notebook”. “Come onnn we’ve watched this stupid shit like 16 times!” I smirk and press play anyways. “Well, now it’s time to watch it for the 17th time!” I cuddle into his side and rest my head on his shoulder, letting out a soft sigh as he draws gentle shapes with his fingers on my thigh. Nearing the iconic bittersweet ending of the movie I hear soft sniffles coming from Katsuki and I look up. “pussy.” He immediately wipes his face and shoots me a glare. “Shut up! It’s so goddamn sad!” I laugh loudly and poke his pouty bottom lip. “I’m jokin’ im jokin’. it’s cute how soft you get over this movie.” He lifts my chin and stares into my eyes, causing my breath to hitch in my throat. We’ve been together for 2 years and this man still manages to make me feel weak in the knees as if we just met.

The corners of his mouth turn up into the smallest smile before he leans in, capturing my lips in the sweetest kiss I’ve ever experienced from him. He’s never been a bad kisser by any means but this kiss feels different. It’s so soft, and gentle, it’s as if he’s afraid he’ll break me if he kisses me any harder. I feel his hands sneak down my sides and he pulls me into his lap causing me to gasp, he of course uses that opening to explore my mouth with his tongue. I run my fingers through his hair and tug slightly to deepen the kiss, feeling my body heat up. Before things can go any further he breaks the kiss, resting his forehead against mine. “I know we’re not making out on a boat in the rain or uh, in a house I painted blue…” I smile softly, waiting for him to continue. “but?” He laughs at my impatience. “but there’s nothin’ like doin’ nothin’ with you.” I’m smiling like a damn fool at this point. I don’t know if he meant to rhyme but I don’t care. My heart is so full of love for this man that nothing else matters. “there’s nothing like doing nothing with you..”

this is actual garbage and I hate everything about it but I had to create it. I simply had to. nobody talk to me for several years. bye.

masterlist

[epithet-beloved]

Hello, me again!!

I was just busy doing homework when I started thinking about epithet characters (who am I kidding, I think about them all the time LMAO). And then Sheriff Gorou just popped up in my head and then WOAH BIG BRAIN MOMENT!! What if he was friends with a prisoner reader? They can eat donuts and drink pinecones together :)

Hope you all have a great day/evening!!

-Ryan

HANGING OUT

synopsis… hanging out with sheriff gorou

ft. sheriff gorou

tags… platonic, fluff, nothing much happens you just hang out

word count… 662

a/n… I LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR A LITTLE BIT. BEEN INCREDIBLY BUSY WITH ASSIGNMENTS BUT IPAD IS OUT OF BATTERY RIGHT NOW SO I'M WRITING THIS WHILE IT RECHARGES. ENJOY THE GOOFY ✧ 🦇

“So, how do you drink these?”

“I don’t know! But it’s the only drink we have here in Redwood Run!”

“... And the well?”

“Oh! It’s completely dry!”

Sheriff Gorou’s hearty laugh echoed in the small cabin he had made his headquarters in the city in the middle of the woods. You stood behind some not-very-sturdy metal bars with a pinecone in your hands, a straw had been jammed in the thing. Gorou had brought it for you from the tavern when you had asked him to bring you a drink to share. He had a pinecone of his own, and he was unsuccessfully trying to try from the straw stuck in it.

You watched him with an amused smile from your spot in the cabin, jumping slightly when he handed you a donut from the box that rested on his desk.

“Here!” He stated with an enthusiastic tone, “Can’t have a drink without a snack!” He smiled at you, and you couldn’t help but let out a small, amused giggle as you took the sweet treat from his hands, “Why thank you.”

Somehow, Gorou managed to have a box of fresh donuts on his desk every morning. You weren’t quite sure where they came from, as the old man from the tavern didn’t seem like someone who’d take interest in baking, and Redwood Run didn’t quite have a bakery. You wondered if he had lied to you about his epithet (that, of course, he had told you about straight away), and it was actually “Donut” instead of “Bluster”, and it let him have a fresh box of the things every morning. They were incredibly tasty and somehow still a bit warm- but this wasn’t surprising, despite being in the middle of the woods, the clearing Redwood Run found itself in was often subject to the light of the high sun, making everything in the small city and its houses warm. It was like the city was stuck at the high noon of a western movie.

And if that was the aesthetic it was going for, Sheriff Gorou stuck out like a sore thumb, with his bright ginger hair and beard, the latter adorned with all sorts of sprinkles, and his happy go lucky attitude; everyone in the city was a criminal, after all! Even you! Why do you think you were hanging out in the sheriff’s cabin, behind the bars of the only cell in the entire town? He didn’t even catch you himself- you turned yourself in! You just felt a little bad that he never seemed to be able to do his job right.

But life in that single cell ended up not being so bad.

Gorou was a nice guy to be around, and you never got bored hearing his repeated stories or watching him gift guns to whoever stepped inside the cabin, even if they did so by accident.

“That guy over there seems new,” You commented after taking a bite of your donut and gesturing to someone outside with a nod. Gorou turned in the direction you pointed to, and he noticed a Banzai Blaster that seemed to be quite lost.

“He does!” He commented,

“Do you think I should go give him a gun? As a welcome gift?”

“Nah, I wanna see how long he goes without one. Also, he didn’t come in here.”

“Hmm… You’re right!”

Gorou shrugged and smiled as he leaned back in his chair, trying to prop his feet up on the desk, but failing and almost falling backwards. You couldn’t help but snicker as he regained his balance and composure, his cheeks red from embarrassment for almost falling like that in front of you.

“Aw, come on,” You cooed with a smile “You’ll be able to do it someday. I believe in ya, sheriff.”

Gorou gained his big smile again, his round cheeks peeking from under his beard.

“Why thank ya! You’re the nicest inmate I’ve ever had! And the only one!”