#this is so unserious my bad bye

[drtroad]

status. open | @atxstarters location. local lime

it's about halfway through the other's sentence- was it a sentence? middle of a story? fuck. howie realized he had invested far too much focus in achieving the perfect guac-to-chip ratio to be paying attention either way. like at all.

“yeah, you're gonna have to start the whole thing over again, ‘cause i wasn't listening.” then he's shoving the aforementioned chip into his mouth. he'd done it! perfect guac-to-chip ratio alright. totally worth it.

[goldsainz]

❝ THAT’S THAT ME, ESPRESSO ❞

MASTERLIST!

pairing . . . charles leclerc x reader

◦∘｡ﾟ. request . . . “hii !!! i love the new sabrina carpenter song (esspresso) and was wonderimg if you could do a smau with charles x reader based off it !!”

◦∘｡ﾟ. summary . . . the internet can’t believe you two know each other, let alone fancy the other.

◦∘｡ﾟ. note . . . back from my fic making slump!!! i hope yall like this because i actually had fun writing this soooo… happy reading everyone 💙 (also pls don’t ask for pt2 because i don’t usually make them or enjoy doing so)

liked by charles_leclerc, maudeapatow and 1,724,865 others

yourusername you can keep thinking about me every night even more because espresso is out everywhere now!!!! ☕️🤎

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ynfan1 MOTHER IS MOTHERING

ynfan2 can’t wait for ynchella

⤷ ynfan3 oh she’s gonna eat everyone uppp

charlesfan1 what is charles doing here🤨

ynfan4 if y/n was my gf best believe i’d never stop thinking about her

charlesfan2 charles liking… i have a theory but i fear i’ll get bashed for it

charlesfan3 charles is so real for being a y/n fan

⤷ ynfan5 who’s charles???

⤷ charlesfan3 f1 driver! and apparently likes y/n cause he liked this and doesn’t even follow her😭

ynfan6 this song SLAPS

ynfan7 she just releases banger after banger after banger!!!

charlesfan4 bye why did charles like this

ynfan8 huge HUGE slay

charlesfan5 charles i get you sweetie

charles_leclerc updated their instagram stories!

charlesfan21 responded to your story!

charlesfan21 BYEEEE THIS IS SO UNSERIOUS

charlesfan22 responded to your story!

charlesfan22 you’re not slick this song is obviously about you!!!!!!

ynfan21 responded to your story!

ynfan21 spreading the y/n agenda iktr 😌

charlesfan23 responded to your story!

charlesfan23 that performance had you SHOOK

ynfan22 responded to your story!

ynfan22 i just KNOW it was you she was smiling at

liked by ynfan31, ynfan32 and 62,904 others

ynupdates y/n at bleachers’ coachella set with f1 driver, charles leclerc!

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ynupdates guys i was so chill in the caption but i can assure you i am freaking out too😭

⤷ ynupdates WTF IS HAPPENING ACTUALLY

ynfan33 my brain cannot comprehend this

charlesfan31 nah this can’t be real

charlesfan32 oh im so sick

charlesfan33 he shot his shot and SCORED

⤷ ynfan34 how did he bag my womannn😩

⤷ charlesfan34 that’s HIS woman now i’m afraid

ynfan35 they could be so cute together

liked by tinistoessel, tayrussell and 2,058,439 others

yourusername coachella weekend one you’ll forever be in my heart 🩶 thank you to everyone who made this possible and to everyone who came to see me, you made this experience even more incredible!!!! can’t wait for next weekenddd

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charles_leclerc Amazing perfomance 😊❤️

liked by yourusername and 173,982 others

⤷ charlesfan41 boy if you don’t get off the floor…

⤷ ynfan41 oh you are down BAD too

ynfan42 she slayed so hard

ynfan43 should’ve headlined tbh

charlesfan42 charles you better spill your secrets

⤷ charlesfan43 we need pierregasly to tell us the tea

ynfan44 nobody is doing it like her

ynfan45 babes what are you doing with that vroom vroom guy

charlesfan44 WE ARE IN SHAMBLES SOMEONE DO SOMETHING

ynfan46 did i just lose my wife

⤷ charlesfan45 just lost my husband too…

-ˋˏ *.· taglist . . . @lorarri @lpab @noncannonships @lunnnix @elliegrey2803 @saintslewis @leoramage @toomuchdelusion @anthonykatebridgerton @enhacolor @gulabjamoon @louvrepool @ravisinghs-wife @hobiismyhopeu @starlightpierre @lecsainz @kkeelss @namgification @minkyungseokie @gothgirlez @f1version @vroomvroommuppett

[junhanner]

Since you asked for requests, I could go for an XH fluff scenario where they realize they have a crush on you☺️ Like, is it something you say or do, or something else what makes them realize it? Thanks in advance 🫶🏻

ask and you shall recieve!!! ଘ(੭´꒳`) my fingers were CROSSED for a xdinary heroes ask omg the prayers worked🤞🤞🤞i had to sit my ass down and WRITE . i love the scenario sm omg😞😞😞

𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎡𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟

౨౿ xdinary heroes realising that they have a crush ༘. on you ౨౿

𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎡𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟

✧ ꒰ঌ gun-il ໒꒱ : he would be so chill about it omg😭😭 when he realized he had a crush on you, he most probably thought “oh it's not going to transform into a bigger crush” like sorry to break it to you gunil it kinda did. And when he would realize it did turn out into a bigger crush this man would be speechless😭. I think he would be the type of person who would try to impress you . From drum covers of your favourite songs to maybe even teaching you the basics of playing drums!! Around the members he would surely say something like “confidence is key” but around you, he would def stumble on his words or embarrass himself omg😭😭😭 when it's about confessing, I think he will 100% either will write a paragraph on his notes app and message it to u or either literally learn it word by word and recite it to you like a poem

𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎡𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟

✧ ꒰ঌ jungsu ໒꒱ : When he first found out he would be like “oh ok” but as time flies he would realize that he has became down BAD for you😭😭 .. i think he wouldn't really try to impress you as much as the other members.. he would be more of a gift giving / quality time person ^_^ when confessing i am telling u he would most prob SERENADE you😭 would definately sing you a love song or maybe even one he composed for you ….

𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎡𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟

✧ ꒰ঌ o.de ໒꒱ : CERTIFIED GIFT GIVER. when he realized he has a crush on you, he would def give it a lot of thought before actually confirming he does in fact have a crush on you idk if it makes sense😭 but when he has the chance, he is surely the type that would take you out on movie nights to have fun claiming “this is not a date this is 100% a family friendly hangout between good friends and there's nothing behind it” (he would still call it a date) and when it's about confessing this man is so romantic .. he would literally give his whole salary including his money for food for the perfect confession because if he pulls you who the flip needs food anyway

𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎡𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟

✧ ꒰ঌ junhan ໒꒱ : shyest boy EVER. when he realizes he has a crush on you he avoids you as much as possible so he won't do anything embarassing in front of you he would be too shy to even look you in the eyes . i think he would be a acts of service or quality time person. like, whenever he would go tk the store he would surely say a quiet “hi im going to the store do you want anything” or when its about quality time i think he would enjoy the most playing videogames with you .his biggest weakness ever would be talking to you😭 he could barely even push out a word out of his mouth when he’s around you so i think confessing would be such a problem to him.. i think one day the members got fed up with this and just messaged you themselves “hey vro junhan likes you” or something they would be so unserious its actually killing me bye💔

𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎡𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟

✧ ꒰ঌ gaon ໒꒱ : HE WOULD BE SO UNSERIOUS HELP. The second he would realize he likes you, he would 100% google up “cool pickup lines that work and make your crush fall in love with you no clickbait real confirmed “ when he would be around you, he would surely do INSANE things to try to impress you.. mf would pull the fire alarm at the jyp building risking his job just to impress you😭😭🙏 i think when it's about confessing this would be the only scenario where he would actually be serious and not crack a joke after saying i like you this man would crack a joke even at a funeral to try making the people there feel better. (spoiler alert it did not help them)

𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎡𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟

✧ ꒰ঌ jooyeon ໒꒱ : who is the person in xdinary heroes who would literally make himself look stupid just for you to laugh, and why is it jooyeon. when he would first realize he has a crush on you he would say something to himself along the lines of “u can do this bro” to try talking to you . when i tell u he could actually end up in the hospital but his ass wouldn't give a flying flip as long as he made you laugh or giggle for atleast a second. the type of person who would also search up stuff on google but this time confessions.. he would invite you at literally MCDONALD'S dressed up in a suit and saying the most poetric shit you have ever heard .

𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎡𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟

a/n : i’m sorry if there are any grammar mistakes english is not my first language😞

[ynbabe]

Fake texts au- pt.10 bffs with the rookies+ The Hangover III

I can't believe we're on part 10 already 😭😭😭

| Masterlist |

"How could I? I didn't have my phone?" the girl asked slightly panicked,.

"That's because you had mine," Lando spoke up, tapping on his phone, "You logged into your account from mine," he said showing it to the girl.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP ME?" She yelled.

"BECAUSE YOU GUYS KEPT RUNNING ONTO THE FUCKING ROAD AND LOGAN AND ARTHUR COSPLAYED SPIDER-MAN" He yelled back.

"Okay, okay," Max put his hands up to calm the two down, sometimes they were so similar he'd want to ask if Lando had a twin separated at birth, "Lando, what did she post?"

"oh oooh, this going to be fun," the boy said, switching to the girl's profile.

its_y/n_love

liked by 21,023 users

Tagged: @/arthur_leclerc @/logansargeant @/oscarpiastri

its_y/n_love me with my Pookie bears everyone say thank you Oscar for paying the Hospital bills 😍

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usernamei SHES GIVINGGG

username she ATE

username they're her pookie bears 😭 she's so unserious I unironically stan her

username a grown woman calling grown men pookie bears 😒 username fr like oscar had to pay for HER hospital bills username he literally payed for Arthurs too but yall ain't gon say none abt that

its_y/n_love

liked by 501,023 users

Tagged: @/arthur_leclerc @/logansargeant @/oscarpiastri @/landonorris

its_y/n_love LANDOOOOOOOOO why he always with his boy tho 🤨

view all 20,874 comments

username omg she's literally living my dream 😫

username fr god i've seen what you've done for others

username omg she's freeloading off him now too?

username give it up she literally just their friend username and even if she wasn’t why would yall treat her differently than any other wag? username look at her man she's literally using them for fame and money

"Well, that wasn't as bad," y/n shrugged.

"That's cause you didn't have your camera roll," Logan snapped back, finally feeling a little more human, the hangover easing down.

"Look who's talking," the Aussie came to y/n's defence, "You're lucky you didn't have YOUR phone," Oscar called out, making the American's face turn red.

"Damnnn Oscar!" The girl praised, colour returning to his face, all were slowly returning to normal, even Arthur had found his way back to the table. Seeing this, the two older men Max and Charles ordered for the table, while Lando, went through more of Y/n's Instagram with the group.

"Honestly, the response isn't that bad, and our PR officers won't murder us, sooo we're good," he said, smiling and logging out of her Instagram account.

"Oh my god," The Monganeseque boy spoke up after being missing for almost half an hour, " I don't think we ate last night," he said shoving the food in his mouth.

The older men expected one of the other three to corroborate the boy's words but they just witnessed four twenty-somethings guzzling down food and large glasses of OJ, lifting plates to slide food into their mouths, letting runny egg yolks and bacon grease getting over their face and hands.

"Fucking hell," Max snarled, "it's like watching animal planet or something,"

"It's disgusting is what it is," Charles agreed, "MERDE ARTHUR, MAMAN RAISED YOU BETTER THAN THIS!" He yelled at his brother who was currently dipping a rolled up pancake in orange juice.

"Oh mate that's fucking disgusting," Y/n scoffed but then followed suit.

"Both of you are insane," Logan cried out, his accent thick, but failed to notice his own disgusting plate, dipping his bacon in maple syrup.

"ugh, there is something mentally deficient with all of you," Oscar frowned.

"Big words for someone mixing coffee into their oj," Lando cringed, taking a photo of the four and their disgusting eating habits.

"I- I can't look at this, I'm leaving," Charles gave up, holding up his hands in surrender, "I have a meeting at Ferrari anyways,"

"Bye, Charles!" the table chorused.

"Oh shit, it's 11am already?" Max called, looking at his watch, "I've got debrief at noon, see you next race, yeah Y/n?" He patted the girl's shoulder as he left.

"Never, again, ever." She yelled out, behind the man, making him laugh.

"Wait really?" The American looked over, bacon in hand.

"Nah, but like I've got uni and stuff and I've been going Arthurs races as well so, I'll probably be back by Britain or Netherlands," she explained.

"Oh yeah I forgot you still go to uni," Lando said.

"Not all of are millionaires cause of our fast vroom vroom cars," she spit back.

"yeah, yeah, " he waved off, "Oscar, Zak's told me to babysit you till our flight tomorrow so you don't do something or someone," he wriggled his brows, smirking at his teammate, making him roll his eyes, "you regret, so let's go and leave that disgusting abomination here," he said pointing to the coffee-orange juice.

"Guy's I don't know about y'all but I'm going go and pass out in the room till next year," The girl said, pushing away from the table.

"Same," The two boys followed.

oooooh this was ✨✨✨ but next we have the summer break chapter 🤭

Taglist: @dark-night-sky-99 @cashtons-wife @i-wish-this-was-me @thehufflepuffavenger1 @eugene-emt-roe @fangirl-dot-com

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Blurbs: Blank Space

————————————————————————-

Summary: You prank Joe by texting him the lyrics of Blank Space by Taylor Swift while he's out with the guys.

Warnings: Unserious/funny, pranks!

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine Universe: Into the Mystic

A/N: Part 3 of blurb night!

————————————————————————-

No particular date for this blurb!

Joe had just left to go hang out with the guys at Sam’s house - something about welcoming some of the newly signed players.

I was home alone. Robin and Jimmy had picked up Miles and Tyson this morning to have a little grandparents' day with them, so it was just me.

The house was clean, and Joe and I had started packing to move, but according to him, I wasn’t allowed to do anything without his assistance.

There was no way Joe was at Sam’s yet, so I decided to give him a call.

“Hey, baby. Is everything okay? I just left.” - Joe

“Hi, yes, and I know. I'm just super bored.” - you

“I can turn around and take you with me. Jess will be there obviously, maybe you guys can hang out while we’re there. We’ll probably be in the basement.” - Joe

“You’d do that?” - you

The smile must have been evident in my tone because Joe laughed a little before answering.

“Would I offer if I wouldn't?” - Joe

“No.” - you giggled

“I'll see you in a bit, Mama.” - Joe

“Okay, Joey. I love you.” - you

“I love you too. And baby?” - Joe

“Yeah?” - you

“I turned around as soon as you called.” - Joe 

——

I held onto Joe’s hand as we walked up to Sam’s door, and when Sam opened it, he was surprised to see me there. 

“Oh hey, y/n!” - Sam

“Hey!” - you

“The boys are with my folks, and I didn't want her to be home all by herself.” - Joe explained

Silently squeezing Joe’s hand to thank him for not telling Sam that I’m a hormonal pregnant woman who's so needy she can't be away from her husband, he squeezed back.

Joe led me into the familiar house, and I immediately saw Jess standing in the kitchen by herself.

“See ya later.” - you

“Wait, don't sneak off yet. I wanna introduce you to some people.” - Joe

He directed me to the basement where we would make our rounds, Joe proudly introducing me as his wife over and over again.

“Bye, baby.” - you

“Bye, text me if you need me.” - Joe

“I will.” - you

Joe leaned down and gave me a quick peck before I made my way over to the stairs.

After finding Jess, she thanked me for coming, and we found ourselves deep in conversation.

——

“Wait so you just do it randomly?” - Jess

“Yup. I'll just feel like pranking him, and then I just find one to do.” - you

“Just like that?” - Jess

“Just like that.” - you

Jess laughed as she scrolled through my saved TikTok pranks.

“You should do one on him right now.” - Jess

“Ooo okay. Which one?” - you

After careful consideration of a few different pranks, Jess and I decided on one that would be easiest for us to do. It was a text prank.

Nice to meet you, where you been?

Uhm, in the same house that you're in…?

I could show you incredible things.

You do all the time, baby. 😊

Magic, madness, heaven, sin.

Sounds poetic.

Saw you there and I thought “OMG look at that face.”

Wait when? I'm confused.

You look like my next mistake.

I hope I'm not a mistake.

Love’s a game, wanna play?

We're professionals at that game when it comes to each other, Mama.

New money, suit and tie.

Is that what you want me to get with my extension???

I can read you like a magazine.

I know lol.

Ain't it funny? Rumors fly.

What rumors? Is it bad?

And I know you heard about me.

Heard what?

So hey, let's be friends.

We are already. You're my best friend and lover.

I'm dying to see how this one ends.

I hope it doesn't end, we’re forever.

Grab your passport and my hand.

Woah woah, where are we going that I’ll need a passport??

I can make the bad guys good for a weekend.

What the hell? I'm so lost. I'll be upstairs in a second.

Jess and I cackled as we typed and sent each message, soon Joe was striding into the dimmed living room with a confused look on his face.

“The hell was that?” - Joe

“A prank. It was song lyrics.” - you laughed

“It was my idea, so don't get mad at y/n.” - Jess

“Oh, I wasn't going to.” - Joe

“He can't get mad at me.” - you grinned

Joe jokingly rolled his eyes before plopping down next to me on the couch.

“What are you doing?” - you

“I’m already up here, might as well hang out with you for a bit.” - Joe

Jess smiled at me when Joe cuddled closer to me.

“I feel like I'm third wheeling in my partner’s house.” - Jess

“It's not my fault I'm better than Sam.” - Joe

“Joseph.” - you shoved him

“Am I lying?!” - Joe

————————————————————————-

Authors note: Next fic is at 8:15!!!

(I lost the request for this, but it was around the lines of “texting Joe the lyrics of Blank Space by Taylor Swift to see what he’d do”)

[kentocee]

So Anxious • Gojo x Fem!reader • (18+)

CW: smut( sexting, nudes, dirty talk, masturbation, gojo being unnecessarily horny for reader, impatient!gojo), slight humor bc gojo is VERY unserious 😭

Cee’s Note: I heard this song on tik tok and it instantly reminded me of Gojo (don’t ask) but I hope y’all enjoy

Song inspo: So anxious by Genuwine

[Minors do NOT interact; explicit content ahead]

Satoru: Babe

Y/N: Yes?

Satoru: come thru ;)

**Delivered**

It was embarrassing the amount of times Gojo checked his messages to see if you responded to him.

Granted it only was a couple minutes but with his growing erection tightening his pants, his patience was running thin.

He knew you were at work but he was hoping you would be out already to help him with his little…problem.

Suddenly he noticed his phone lit up due to a notification and he nearly dropped his phone, fumbling to unlock it.

***

Y/N: im at work but I should be there in 30

Satoru: seconds? :D

Y/N: …

Y/N: minutes -.-

Satoru: :(

Satoru: :((

Satoru: thats too looooong :(((

Y/N: BYE! Ur so dramatic lmaoo

Y/N: ill be there before u kno it

Y/N: and then im all yours tonight ;)

Satoru: but I have a bit of a problem…

***

The tightness was becoming unbearable to the point where his print was visibly showing through his sweatpants. Suddenly it was as if a lightbulb appeared above his head.

***

Satoru: *image attachment*

Satoru: u see my dilemma

Y/N: OH

Y/N: O.O

Y/N: that’s a BIG problem alright

Y/N: it might be too much for me to handle

***

You were such a tease. Acting all innocent as if Gojo hasn’t had you folded like a pretzel on many occasions. But this was usually how it started. You feigned innocence and next thing you know Gojo would end up sending detailed messages on how exactly he planned to fuck you later on.

He knew this all too well, yet here he was falling for it yet again. Usually he was the one doing the teasing but the times when he was needy you were quick to seize the opportunity.

***

Satoru: my baby can handle it ;)

Y/N: and what if it doesn’t fit

Satoru: oh imma make it fit

Satoru: and u gonna take it like a good girl

Satoru: u gonna be a good girl for me?

Y/N: yes baby only for u ;)

***

“Sh-shit” Gojo groaned through gritted teeth, palming himself under his sweatpants.

The thought of him stretching your tight pussy to fit his size made his dick twitch subconsciously. He can just imagine the way your mouth would hang open and eyes widen as he bottoms out inside you. He can just imagine all the whines and moans through your pretty lips you make on his dick.

***

Y/N: how u want me to take it?

Satoru: want ur arms and legs around me

Satoru: want u so close to me

Satoru: wanna see ur pretty face wen I fuck u

Y/N: mmm can’t wait ;)

Satoru: i cant either

Satoru: need u so bad rn baby

Satoru: need to feel u

Satoru: need to hear your pretty moans in my ear

**Delivered**

All this dirty talk was just making him hornier by the second and he didn’t think he could wait much longer.

After a couple minutes, Gojo was once again checking his phone, anxiously waiting for your response. The longer he waited for your responses the more anxious he was getting.

After five minutes and no response, he knew you were still teasing him. Got him riled up and left him high and dry.

Oh how cruel.

His eyes wandered to the time almost as if it would go faster the longer he gazed at it.

“Fuck it”

Gojo slipped down his sweatpants and briefs, his cock springing out, bobbing slightly.

He closed his eyes and imagined his fist was your wet pussy. He started stroking himself at a desperate pace, trying to release what he’s been holding for what felt like hours.

The sounds of his low moans and wet sounds filled the air as he continued to chase his pleasure.

Just when he could feel himself reaching close, he heard a door opening from outside his room.

“Babe! I’m home”

Oh shit.

Gojo practically fell out his bed trying to pull his underwear and sweatpants back on.

When he finally made it out his room, he found you by the front door hanging your coat up and taking your shoes off.

“There you are! I told you I’d be home before y- TORU!”

Gojo had scooped you up and brought you over his shoulder, having your ass next to his head as your body dangled behind him.

Gojo brought his hand up and smacked your ass, “That’s for leaving me hanging earlier”

“I dunno what you mean”

He couldn’t see it but he knew you were smirking behind him. Oh you were gonna be in for it.

With that, Gojo ran to his bedroom with you over his shoulder. He was bout to make his imagination a reality.

[synthe4u]

You and the team were in a safe house at the moment. You were waiting for evac to arrive, but considering the storm that was happening outside, the helicopter wasn’t going to arrive any time soon.

It made you anxious knowing you weren’t going to be able to sleep in your bed for a night. At least the house had a working heater which helped you calm down. The heater made the house nice and cozy.

Ghost had went to one of the bedrooms and Price followed along going to his own. Gaz and Soap stayed in the kitchen and living space.

You tried busying yourself with writing. Not that any ideas were actually coming to mind and not like you could actually write down the experiences you went through, that would be saved for your report.

You spotted a spider web in the corner of the house. There was something blurry in your vision which you couldn’t wipe out. You know how you have white mucus in the corner of your eye sometimes? Yeah, it got on your pupil, but it didn’t hurt.

You kept blinking, which Soap and Gaz took notice of. It’s not like you were loud, it’s just you were staring off into the distance and blinking really fast which they had taken notice of.

Well, the blinking worked and the eye mucus said bye bye. (I don’t know when this started becoming unserious)

Then an eyelash fell in your eye. Great. Lovely. Amazing.

You tried blinking it out your eye, but still couldn’t get it out. So you turned to another option, which was to ask for help. You couldn’t rub your eye because it was dirty and who knew what was on it. The house didn’t have any soap and you didn’t want to use shampoo for your hands. So, yes, you had only used water to wash your hands.

“Hey, Gaz?” Your eye with the eyelash stuck in it was shut tight, but the one without was slightly cracked open.

“Yeah?” He was eating a sandwich at the moment, so it sounded a little distorted.

“I have an eyelash stuck, could you come blow it out for me?”

(Author: “come blow you out?” I have bad hearing sometimes and I don’t be paying attention so if someone actually said that that would be what I hear)

…I lost my appetite for writing

(not proofread)

masterlist

[regretevator-confessions]

i see a lot of partybeetle hate in here, so i wanna talk about my love for them !!!!!!!! <3 theyre just very fun to me hehehehe

i like to think poob is very outwardly affectionate, calling pest lots of pet names (honey, lovebug, cutie, etc) n loves showering him with hugs n kisses :] !! pest isnt very good at showing his affection in the same way as them, but he IS good at gift giving !! he’ll often give poob random items or things outside he finds cool or that remind him of them, n he likes to make little gifts for them !!! :3

something i like about partybeetle is their kinda cartoony dynamic ???? theyre like lord hater and wander from wander over yonder, or squirdward and spongebob i think !!!!!! :] unserious frenemies who kiss sometimes.... i dont care if people find them ’lame’ or ’bad’ for dumb reasons, i am going to keep imagining them being in love . Because i can do whatever i wantttt lalala ☝️ checkmate LIBERAL !!!!!!!!!!!! hehehehehe OK BYE !!!!!!!

.

[milfgyuu]

I haven't sent one of these in a hot minute! The last gifset had me thinking: Sincr it's 🎃time, how about assigning the typical horror movie roles/tropes to Seventeen? Like, we already know Mingyu is The Hot Girl that Dies First™️ 🤣 (grouping them is also fine!)

HELL YEAH, it's spooky time!!!!! I am popping these under a read-more jusssst in case there are some sweet angels on my blog that may be sensitive to the themes or aren't into the horror genre <3

but if you're into SVT and horror film roles/tropes, read below!

Cheol - is surviving. idc. he's giving Chad Michael Murray in House of Wax like he definitely is kind of the asshole with a seedy past in the movie but it's also the reason he is making it out alive because he's fighting back. mf is running around with a tire iron and a gash down the side of his face and he's PISSED.

Jeonghan/Minghao - is taking things a little too...unseriously. like "why are you guys freaking out? ooooh he's gonna getcha!" probably even finds himself getting caught or injured and laughs when everyone gets mad at him because "it was just a joke, omg u guys". definitely turns out to be the killer in the end.

Joshua - god, sorry, but he's the handsome, sweet, innocent boyfriend of the female lead who gets absolutely gutted by the killer in the first half of the movie. Like he is the letterman jacket-wearing jock bf of Drew Barrymore's character in the original Scream. He was truly a bystander but boy is he pretty.

Junhui/Hoshi - He's just a side character but the whole audience loves him! and then he gets kidnapped and disappears halfway thru the movie so everyone assumes he's dead but just when the killer is about to whack the main character he shows up out of nowhere and knocks them out with a fire extinguisher to save them. he's a hero, baby. he still might get got tho :/

Woozi - can we get fluffy for a sec? i know it's horror tropes but this is Thackery Binx from Hocus Pocus, ok? he was kind of a little shit and then he got turned into a cat so now he's chasing around these three idiot kids trying to help them stop the witches from eating all the kids in Salem and he's perpetually irritated at his lack of opposable thumbs bc if he had them, he could just do it all himself.

Wonwoo - he's the dark-knight detective on the case. he's scary, kinda shady, and is likely doing a ton of illegal shit to find leads and force information out of people, but he's not a bad guy. He's been on the case for over a decade and lives off black coffee and cigarettes. definitely makes it to the end and has a hand in taking the killer down.

Mingyu - ok, yes, i still think he's the token slasher-bimbo - like he's the opening kill before the title sequence BUT alternatively, he's the martyr...he's the character you end up loving and then you have to watch as he sacrifices himself so everyone else lives & we love/hate him for it. We weep for him. We write alternate ending fics for him.

Seokmin - Sigh, he's the dad who buys the super-haunted house in a paranormal horror flick. He can't afford to move because he poured his life savings into buying the house. Shit keeps getting progressively worse. His dog chased something into the woods and never came back. His kids are possessed. His wife is floating in the corner and making weird noises. but he's hot - like ryan reynolds in Amityville.

Vernon - bro, he is actually Darry from Jeepers Creepers. I literally can't explain this to you if you haven't watched this CLASSIC and those of you who have seen it...you get it. Like why tf is he ignoring Ms. Dabney????? she's trying to save him and he's like...ok weirdo...i'm gonna go check out that hole where it looks like bodies are being dumped...bye.

Seungkwan - he's not going in that fuck-ass house dude. he's not doing it. he will stand guard with whatever makeshift weapon he can find and he's talking mad shit about everyone and their stupid plan the whole time he's waiting. he is, however, a good friend, and he will run into the house the first time he hears someone scream. is soooo pissed when he finds out it was over nothing and now he's stuck with everyone else in the death trap.

Chan - he is the planner, the optimist, the strategist. he is getting everyone the hell out and he's got the brains and balls to pull it all off. like, my boi is setting traps as if he's Freddie in Scooby Doo. He is pissing the killer off left and right. definitely gets himself in a pinch - almost meets his end - and still, somehow finds a way to live.

[crguang]

still can’t believe I have Kafka ngl, I was playing earlier and kept stopping to stare at her and giggling. Her traces are almost fully maxed, ignoring the fact that I have 100 credits, the build sucks but it’s fine, she just has to show up yk. btw what’s ur kafka’s level, I prefarmed bc, but wbu? omg her voice lines are killing me, forgot how nice her voice was…hsbsbsjsj I’ve only read her voice lines so I was giggling the entire time she was talking. And I got the same messages you did for her so uh our accounts are definitely like synced up or smth, that why we both won the 50/50. And not you making a 9/11 joke the day before 9/11. Also Kafka not having an account to message the TB is so unserious. Like all the stellaron hunters have one but she just needed to be dramatic and mysterious, she’s such a loser, I love her sm…I took so many photos I’m actually not okay, her blushing? I need her so bad.

also u watch arcane? I watched it like a month ago bc one of my friends told me to, but I haven’t found anyone besides myself who doesn’t rlly like Caitlyn. I don’t rlly interact w the fandom bc of that + spoilers from people who play league. I’m just watching for jinx tbh, she blue and mentally ill so shes my favorite character. also I might finally play the story again, but we’ll see, I’ve been busy but I’ll probably like the characters, from what I’ve seen.

-🌠

i can’t believe shes home either like i made a delusional tweet 3 months ago about how she’d be home in september and it actually happened😭😭 im abusing the camera feature fr she’s so pretty… my build also sucks, ive been farming prisoner of deep for months for robin and havent even gotten 2 good relics. like its unbelievable at this point, the drop rate is horrible. i use kafka with jiaoqiu and acheron so at least she’s useful but shes no dps yet </3 im putting that woman to work REGARDLESS.

kafka’s insistence on using burner phones is purely for the drama because her actual phone is likely encrypted and untraceable… like theres absolutely no need she just wants to be mysterious hdjdnfnf shes so silly i love her so bad.

listening to her voice lines is a daily affair at this point. if i don’t hear “oh, bye bye” i start twitching. also— her delivery of “fiercest” always makes me smile i just know she’s a good storyteller

ALSO U DONT LIKE CAIT EITHER?? anddd you love jinx… youre so real

[screampied]

hiiii. so, first i just want to say that the feeling is mutual, because i’m always looking forward to your replies to my asks, like giggling and kicking feet typa shit!!!

second of all, i’ve realized that if you do a scream theme, it would be perfect because of your username?!?! ngl i wish i was creampied by billy loomis

i used to look at those people eating and drinking pumpkin flavored stuff and i would gag, until i realized it probably taste like a famous pumpkin candy in my country, so yes, pls try it and tell me if it’s sweet and good. i’m a very picky eater and i can’t stand pumpkin, unless is for decoration and eating bits and bits of the said candy.

also, yeah, fuck scream 5. it was awful, i love gale and dewey, it was so unnecessary what they did to them, and proceeding to fucking kill him??? ain’t no way, i punched my tv.

classics are truly the best. ngl, i don’t like new horror movies, they are always lacking something. i did, however, enjoyed the movie talk to me from a24, but i saw it more as the metaphor (drgs) instead of possession, so yah…

NOW SHUT UP HIP PIERCINGS? AND BELLY BUTTON? oh i know u a bad bitch, like i can’t help but stan more. ☝️

how was your day today, btw? i finished an edit for my theme that was pissing me off and now i’m just waiting for the one person i’m comfortable with to be online so i can show and be like “gimme ur opinion 🥺” and they are sincere af so if they hate it, imma kms, i see no other option.

oh, also, this week i got a hate anon and i kept laughing because?? it’s so random, people are really miserable and funny sometimes. it’s like a certificate that their life sucks, idk.

AND YES, i’ll be showing myself for you, probably on october 1st, like nosferatu coming from the shadows, hihi.

nut anon

omg ur so sweet, hugs 🫂🫂.

FUCK UR SO RIGHT. a scream theme bc it’s literally in my url what are the chances 😋 plus my username was even based off scream omg we’ll see. that’ll be so sexy ughhhhh october hurry.

im kinda scared to try pumpkin lowkey. im also a picky eater and i feel like ill puke 🧍‍♂️ like ive smelled it and its okaaaay i guess but idk if i can handle it paha. if i do try it, ill tell u how it goes trust.

good fucking bye i can talk a whole rant about how AWFUL scream 5 is. out of all the movies, it’s the worst in my opinion. the only thing i loved about it was the opening scene—jenna ortega’s portion, she made me continue watching it 🙂‍↕️ plus she’s mother, i love her downnnnn. AND UR RIGHT. !!!!! LIKE DEWEY ?????? i get he had to die at some point but his death was so stupid. like really. just say you hate him. scream 6 totally redeemed itself tho now that is a SEQUEEEEL. only thing i hated about scream 6 was the killer reveals. the motive was understandable but dumb . LOLLL im such a hater but man ✋🏽 do you think neve is coming back for scream 7, i hope so and they better give her the pay she deserves bc i miss my final gyal 😔

TEEEHHEEE THANK YOU POOKIE 💋 i bet you’re an even badder bitch <3 my day was good !!! i was busy out half the day sight seeing and going to a nascar race showing near me which was sooooo cool. a bird shat on my car window which was totally uncool 😒. SLAAAAY omg i bet it looks so good.

booo hate anons r so unserious. i remember i got one months ago and just rolled my eyes because you could be like … saving the world ✋🏽 or idk doing crossword puzzles instead of talking shit to a silly lil stranger on the interweb. ppl be bored ig. don’t let it get to u tho bae !!!! ur amazing mwah

[holdthegirlboss]

watching doccy who for the first time

1x12 — bad wolf

they better explain this ‘bad wolf’ shit i can’t take it anymore

also love how every episode seems like a one off but they all link together and the previous episodes come back when u don’t expect it wow this is a good show

i went feral over the doctor being on big brother, then i went feral over rose being on the weakest link this episode just keeps on getting better it’s so unserious BYE

expected it to be aj adudu telling the doctor ‘please do not swurrrrr’

ANNEdroid and DAVINAdroid this is so funny

also just did some googling and found out that anne robinson and davina mcall actually voiced the android versions of themselves LOL i love this show

i think quite literally every british actor has been on doctor who at least once bc why’s the headteacher from ackley bridge a housemate loool

OH MY GOD ELAINE THE PAIN IS HERE TOO

not the doctor accidentally destroying earth lol

the doctor’s face when he thought rose was dead omg :((( he loves her so much im so sad he looked so broken

I THOUGHT ALL THE DALEKS WERE DEAD???

i think the dalek who came up with ‘davinadroid’ should be spared

[dull-c]

okay i watched season six part one of three last night. unserious thoughts under the cut

johnny working at larusso auto and the larussos letting him AND him wearing the shirt (😮‍💨) was so fanfic coded and I can't say I'm against that

related- why was johnny's description of daniel's butthole so vivid. can we go one! season!

and why was chozen's departure so abrupt??? wasn't he going to help with the sekai taikai stuff????? one line and he just disappeared and it was so anticlimactic that I didn't even realise he'd fully left until the end

i did note a lot of clunky stuff like this where maybe they needed to focus less on including everything and everyone and more on the storyline cohesiveness. for instance- robby not following tory after she ran away in distress 'cause her mom literally just died. the way he was just like oh Bye i'm just gonna stay here and get my headband~~ 🤔

can't believe they fridged tory’s mom just to rehash her antagonist storyline btw. so much of this is just rehash though (peep daniel acting like he's never seen johnny train before) so why am I acting like they haven't always done this??? and that I wasn't always kind of into it?? couldn't tell ya

I was genuinely entertained by the kyler stuff, but godddd. not him and miguel laughing about him bullying and beating the shit out of him. I got daniel and johnny flashbacks 🤡

loved the sam and tory stuff though <3 of COURSE they're the only ones who did it right

go away kreese!!!!!!!!! stop tryna make your redemption happen it's not going to happen (for me. alas I fear it will happen for everyone else)

(him breaking johnny's neck in his trip dreams was so dark like what the fuck)

i'm trusting it's going to go somewhere because I don't think RM would have been down with retconning miyagi's history otherwise but (grits teeth) leave him alone get a job

liiiiike I get where they were ~trying~ to go with johnny supporting tory to fight it out, however was he literally just planning on standing there while she beat the shit out of sam or???

not johnny crying when he broke up with daniel!!!!!!!!!!!!! he will never beat the down bad allegations

[aviegoescrayz]

Hi guys 😈 (literally no one) I am Avie and I plan on writing stuff soon 🫡 . Im definitely a matt girl but yk ... Chris can get it too 🐺 I don't have any ideas as of now but I'd really appreciate if I got some recommendations for fics (sturniolo related obvi, but I CAN do other stuff if requested) I'll really write anything if it's reasonable and not some weird crazy stuff. I probably won't write anything more than small short blurbs until I gather an audience (gonna be a while I fear) but feel free to ask for anything still !!! 😺. A LITTLE BIT ABOUT MEEE

My favorite color is purple 💜

I love food like so bad 🫡

My favorite emoji is this one 😔 I just think it's so unserious and funny .

I absolutely LOVE cats (send me cat memes and I will literally make you my lawfully wedded partner)

I'm terribly unfunny

I HATE the smell of gas

I LOVE the smell of nail polish

I am a $uicideboy$ fanatic 😔

Favorite song atm ? THIS 😈 👇🏽

THATS ALL FOR NOW THANK YOU BYE

[ohgodimafraud]

👤🤧?

omg ty for the ask

👤 - Describe your current favorite character (including OCs)

rip im so sorry bc im already so excited.

my favorite character rn is L/ucifer (aka u/rushihara) from the d/evil is a part t/imer. im obsessed w him specifically. i was watching the anime and he came on and i was like oh no, cmon he cant really be my favorite but he just is.

he went from being an edgelord demon general who was previous ly the top archangel who fell j because he was bored and joined w the og satan and then joined with the current satan bc he was like i mean there was nothing else to do. over like 10,000 years old with absolutely zero aspirations other than playing pc games and eating snacks and online shopping. but also he does have some character growth but it's more subtle and hes just like so unserious and nobody respects him at all ToT

hes a little man with big wings. he got duped by some rando into spending crazy money on garbage and was like it's not my fault :( (( im socially awkward.

his whole thing is being a neet and exerting as little energy as possible for the most part but hes also one of the smarter characters for sure. like he does actually contribute to the group but it doesnt rlly up his respect or rep and then he usually evens it out by him doing something like ordering stupid shit they dont need while theyre trying to keep a roof over their heads.

he also has the most canon allergies ive seen in forever. an entire chap of the manga and a chap of the light novel and a 50 min DRAMA CD is dedicated to satan taking in a cat and saving it and l/ucifer sneezes the entire time. and theyre like stoooop being so loud!!! lmaoo T_T hes so cute and pathetic <3 i love him sm hes like basically a cat himself. but also during that chapter when the cat coughs up a hairball he prints out directions to the vet and is like dondt panig call a bro (pro). like ok. also he did try making a FOUND poster LMFAO.

something about him just resonates with me he has an unnaturally long life and just wants to live a chronically online life and i feel that. he gets picked up by the collar or scruff all the time and every time i see him i get like lkFLAEJKJRGJLKJ THERE HE IS!!!! yay!!!!!

🤧 - Do you prefer stoic characters or characters who complain?

both <3 like up until recently i was more for stoic characters or ones who will deny deny deny until theyre forced to admit theyre sick or yeah ok they are having an allergy attack. but i also think some complaining is hot. u/rushihara would def complain/has canonically been like cmon this really sucks u guys. D:< i think for me it's also about the dynamics between the characters and the situation/context. omg or a character who goes from im alright it's not bad to this suckkkss :(( and then starts making specific complaints and is all needy. damn. bye-

[cyarskj1899]

But I was talking crazy when I had and still condemned the league for never gaf about black lives and them not being decent enough and humane organization ?

I might not always be right about things but about this I wasn’t in the wrong

When I say the NFL doesn't give a damn about Black players I meant that 💯 , let this Damar Hamlin situation be a prime example.

It took them an hour to call the game after CPR and AED had already been involved.

Disgraceful, disgusting, but so what happened to Kaepernick. They did not apologize for blackballing him. They didn’t say his fqucking name with an I’m sorry but they were loud enough to say his name when they were bad mouthing him for taking a stand against racism and police brutality though 🙄

A "step in the right direction" my ass. Since when? Nfl has been lying about their stance against racism and their support for black lives. They’re not different than any other system that would still have a bad cop in their department even if they had 30+ complaints (while if it was any other job someone would have gotten fired for no more than one complaint) or association with some white supremacist terrorist organization (why is groups like Rage Against the Machine relevant again?) but as soon as a disturbing video comes out and everyone and their mother is filled with an uncontrollable outrage and the whole entire country is burning to the ground and they wanna act all angry and they now immediately fire the bad guy but it’s already too late and it’s a thanks but no thanks because you have broken our trust in your department and once trust with someone who supposed to be respected is gone, it’s definitely gone for good

Why shouldn’t the nfl be any different ?

For those who say "It's not about race" -- stop lying. It is!

If you're still using the terms "race card," "race baitor," "race pimp," and "reverse racism" in 2023 -- you're unserious AF and going to get blocked. Here’s what we not gone do. Not on my watch

You clearly are stuck in a pre-2020 world where you haven't done the reading and don't care to.

The excuses are over. Bye.

If it was Tom Brady, we wouldn't have to see CALL THE GAME trend worldwide before the NFL finally did.

Period. Debate your cat. Argue with your mom. Get mad at the walls. Damar Hamlin deserves better.

NFL puts capital over humanity.

They don’t give a damn

Never had

The players deserve better.

Enough.