#this is so stupid. i love it

[formerlycookierunauprompts]

how about just-

giant flustered jester

idk i think that'd be cute have a good day/night whoever decides to write this vague prompt -Anon #368

You don't realize what power you have given me anon #368.

Request Prompt #14 - 💓♪

The beast stood tall, looming over you and the rest of your friends. The seal White Lily Cookie had laced upon the great tree had broken, allowing the beasts to escape... Or well, at least one of them for now. Either way White Lily Cookie was down for the count(almost immediately flicked into a tree by a shadow hand), and Pure Vanilla was tending to her leaving you as the only adult between Shadow Milk Cookie and GingerBrave and friends. There was almost literally no way this could get worse. However, you are very reckless and stupid. " Hey!" You called out to the beast, what you're about to do is rather nerve racking, but since when have you cared about your nerves? Never, that's when. This could get you crumbled, but that's a risk you are willing to take. You almost shudder as you feel the plethora of eyes from the shadows and Shadow Milk Cookie's own two eyes stare at you, brimming with curiosity. " Oh? Does another audience member want to try their hand at beating me?" He chuckled, his grin wide and manic as he gestured to the other fallen cookies around them. " I wouldn't advise that unless you want your dough to crack." " No, I've just got a question." You begin, you can see his brow raise with curiosity. " ... Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see." Silence. " Oh my god we're going to die." You can hear Wizard Cookie mumble under his breath, with GingerBrave responding with a " No no, let them cook.-" It, it actually looks like you threw him off his rhythm. It looks like he's questioning what the fuck a Tennessee is, good, you don't know either. Shadow Milk Cookie is just staring at you, almost dumbfoundedly with a light blue fluster on his cheeks. It takes him a moment before he realizes just what you're doing. He crouches onto the floor, picking you up with a confused, and maybe a bit flustered, grin. " Are you flirting with me right now?" He asks, barely concealing a chuckle under his breath. You lean forwards in his grasp, resting your chin on your hand and fluttering whatever cookie eyelashes you have at him. " Maybe I am." You begin, " Is it working?" " ... Maybe." He mumbled out, looking off to the side.

[mychemicalbrromance]

Guys ive been reading peak

[demonicsuffrage]

8 year old freshly adopted Dick, throwing the moths and flies he caught on Patrol directly at Bruce's face: I got you dinner!

Bruce, who was just bombarded with insects: Chum?!

Dick, smiling cheerfully: Bats eat insects!

Bruce:

Dick: I just read it in a book

Bruce:

Bruce: Bats also eat fruits and nectar

Dick: So you're a fruity bat?

Bruce:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick, throwing an apple at him the next day: Dinner!

Bruce:

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

It's always so weird to come down from the biology heavens to see what the average person believes about animals, plants, ecosystems, just the world around them. I don't even mean things that one simply doesn't know because they've never been told or things that are confusing, I'm talking about people who genuinely do not see insects as animals. What are you saying. Every time I see a crawling or fluttering little guy I know that little guy has motivations and drive to fulfill those motivations. There are gears turning in their head! They are perceiving this world and they are drawing conclusions, they are conscious. And yet it's still a whole thing if various bugs of the world feel pain or if they are simply Instinct Machines that are Not Truly Aware of Anything At All????? Help!!!!!! How can you look at a little guy and think he is just the macroscopic animal version of a virus

[thephantomsdream]

Soap: What did you do on break, Lt?

Ghost: Rode my bike and slept in an alleyway behind a bar.

Gaz: Checks out... (leaves the room)

Ghost: ...

Ghost: Want to know what I really did?

Soap: (immediately interested)

Soap: Yeah!

Ghost: (pulls out his phone)

Ghost: (shows picture of him having someone cuddled up next to him, both under a blanket, two switches in hand, both on the Stardew Valley logo screen)

Soap: (his smile falls immediately)

Soap: Wh—

Ghost: I played Stardew Valley with the missus.

Soap: The mi—?!

Ghost: Planted crops, went to the mines...

Ghost: (swipes through more pictures of them playing)

Soap: (stunned silence)

Ghost: Upgraded the house for the missus, made some town friends... (screenshots of more gameplay)

Soap: Wait—

Ghost: Even fishing. (shows a picture of him catching a legendary fish)

Ghost: The missus doesn't like fishing. (clicks his tongue) Caught them all though. (nods to himself)

Ghost: (smirks) Want to know why I'm telling you this?

Soap: (still stunned, but nods)

Ghost: Because nobody will believe you.

Ghost: (starts deleting all pictures in front of Soap)

Soap: (pained gasp)

Soap: Ye monster.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

elita pep talk

[splinnters]

is this anything

(edit: there’s a fic now)

[laur-rants]

I love when my borzoi does the thing

[thatone-churro]

i had a revelation

[ladysqueakinpip]

guys hot uquiz was just discovered but I'm taking it about 100 yrs too late. anyways everyone share how wifeable you are.

THE WIFE RATING SCALE 1929

[tempo-takoyaki]

Listen, I love the "XL helps HC to see how beautiful he is" scenario as much as the next person... But I also see it like this.

[qiyuearning]

your first time with caleb and he is so, so… how can he even describe it?

“you’re— you’re— i can’t even . . . ohmygod? just wow.” he says all in one breath, eyes struggling to focus on just one part of you. his hands hover just over your torso, tracing the air over eager skin. he doesn’t know if he can handle even a second more of this. is he dreaming right now? is he allowed to?

god, let him have this. finally, his hands find their way to your hips, slender fingers flexing against smooth curves. he could feel your body pressed against his, warm and solid. real.

he always had a snarky quip or a teasing remark to lighten the mood, but right now, all that escapes his lips is an uncharacteristically pathetic sound he doesn’t mean to let slip.

“pip— you’re gorgeous. i mean you’re always gorgeous! o-obviously. always have been,” he sputters, his breathing almost erratic as he chastises himself in an attempt to chase after what little shred of common sense and control he has left. “can i? i mean, will you let me . . . ? no— god, if i could just—“

caleb babbles perhaps a million things per minute—prayers most likely, so fast that it makes your head spin. it isn’t until he feels your touch on his chest that he calms down, your hand warm and solid. real.

“slow down.” you sigh from your place in his lap. he looks like he’s about to burst into tears— or flames. “use your words, caleb.”

he was a man on the edge, a man finally acknowledging his need. his lips found the sensitive spot on your collarbone, teeth scraping against tender flesh lightly.

he looks at you for further permission, a violet gaze that is screaming please, please, please, let me have this. hesitantly, he places an experimental kiss along your jaw. then one to your lips. then another, and another until he can’t remember a feeling that could ever be better than this. it’s desperate, rushed, and a little clumsy, a culmination of years spent holding back.

“. . . words are the last thing on my mind right now, pipsqueak.”

he feels the heat of your body through the thin fabric of your clothes, the weight of your thighs pressed against his. his fingers find the edge of your shirt, slipping underneath to ghost over your skin. his touch is both gentle and possessive, as if claiming something long overdue as his.

[obiwhat]

Later…

armand de yaoi 🍅🍅🍅

[m3llowm1sh]

how to (not) court a defense lawyer

[bloominglegumes]

still thinking about soundwave face and trying to figure things out bc im.nuts??? ur silent intimidating spymaster making these faces under the mask like just think about it

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

momlita