#this is so stressful and its making me so anxious
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this girl who's fucking. being too familiar with me at uni and I am so uncomfortable with that and now there's a chance that she's hitting on me???!!!!! now I'm 10 times MORE uncomfortable like PLEASE I DONT WANNA TALK!!!! PLEASE GO AWAY!!!!
#i have a hard time saying no and like shutting down conversations so its just so hard to stop these interactions from happening#and shes so assertive and extroverted and like uhhh touchy????#I DONT LIKE THISSSSS (HISSING)#delete#AAAUUGHHGHHGH!!!!!!#and like i dont want her to find out ANYTHING about me i cant wear my (fandom) shirts there anymore#she complimented my gorillaz shirt i will only wear plain shirts now#i cant wear my akira shirt j cant wear my band shirts i cant wear my jjba shirt#like this really shouldnt be that big kf a deal but i HAVE BRAIN PROBLEMS IM CRAZY IM INSANE#I DONT KNOW HOW TO RESPOND TO (POSSIBLY) ROMANTIC INTEREST FROM SOMEONE ELSE!!!!! STOOOPPPPPP#this is so stressful and its making me so anxious#idk if im exaggerating and blowing this out of proportion but i have problems ok. i have issues i dont function correctly#but i cant fucking deal with ppl having crushes on me !!!! that shit fries my brain circuits!!!!!#I DONT WANT TO TALK TO NEW PPL.!!!! I AINT GOT TIME FOR THAT!!!!#NEW PPL WILL THINK IM NORMAL AND WANT TO HANG OUT AND SHIT AND I CANT DO THAT AND I DONT WANT TO DO THAT#gonna start barking
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not my usual kind of comic but just... how I've been feeling recently
if you're feeling the same, maybe it will help to know you're not the only one
#overwhelmed#neurodivergent#actually autistic#sketch comic#vent comic#im fine im just so stressed you wouldn't even believe#i didn't feel like cleaning this up and making it nice since its just me venting lol#also im pretty anxious posting this so pls be nice thank u#thanks for listening
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for day 9 and 26 of @jeguluskinktoberr <3
#hp#jegulus#marauders#jegulus fanart#regulus black#james potter#james x regulus#regulus x james#jegulus kinktober#james potter fanart#regulus black fanart#Marauders fanart#Mine#My art#*#i repurposed james room from the crop top james drawing#did actually write text on the letters this time tho#very anxious about posting this one for so so many reasons#i need to get this whole stress behind me so i can actually draw again and be happy with it cause atm its just making me feel vaguely awful#also funfact on the side#the james and sirius polaroid in the back says bffiueufazewp because i love my best friend and this is a little nod to her
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hello my dearest flueries ^_^
i have been trying to be active on this account,, as you can tell i try to post every 2-3 days. but a lot of my close mutuals are going on long hiatus or leaving blr—which is effecting if i should stay any longer on this platform. but i will try to post a fic every week but for a while, i'll be answering asks a bit slower than usual. i promise soon after i feel much better mentally, that i'll be answering all asks and interacting with you guys. i just felt the need to say that especially since i don't want anyone to think i'm ignoring you TT..
#⠀၇୧ ׄ ִ important notices#i apologize about this; its js really making me a bit anxious and stress so TT#especially since most of them are my closest mutuals i had for a while ..
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Look, I just think it's VERY funny and on brand that I thought of an entire premise of colorful characters for half the cast and immediately drew the only one void of color.
#my characters#i will not bore you all too much in the main post but now its story time in the tags so yeefuckinghaw#noll is a fae and is distinctly the only one that just lacks colors#at first he was like well surely i can wear colorful stuff to make up for my dark hair and eyes !#and then he overhears some of the fae talking about how hes a blemish to the fae and hes like well fuck#guess its time to go all in baby! and decks himself out in all black and jagged clothing#and he tries to play it off as hes an idiot and a lot of the fae actually believe its not ALL an act#like they can tell he thinks about stuff but he normally does it staring into space so they dont care to ask#cause surely it isnt important enough to brood about hes just thinking about stuff#and he really REALLY has a lot of confidence issues and worries that more fae are disturbed by his darkness than let on#but then the other fae that like to hang out with him are like#YOOOOOO THATS OUR LIL VOID! THATS OUR LIL GUY! our lil black spot look at him hes so edgy and cute!#and treat him like a pet cat at times giving him head pats even if he bats their hands away#and the plot premise is that some of the fae are bored and decide they should go play with some humans! give THEM enrichment too!#and noll gets roped into it and The Game is basically go find a human partner and convince them to be an ally#then the fae give the humans cool lil toys (weapons) and are like GO FORTH MY CHAMPION!#so noll keeps like ... not picking anyone to participate because its not just A Game to him#if he can prove victorious in A Game with outside factors such as humans then he can prove hes not#an absolute disappointment to the fae like he has a lot riding on this in his mind#and his friends are just like buddy you cant even play if you dont pick a human you gotta#anyway here is noll and then i have ideas for two other fae and also a veeeery vague idea for two of the humans though not as sure yet#rae if you read all this you should know the cobalt is a fae thanks bye#i am so stressed posting ocs every single time and i am incredibly depressed and anxious#so good lord please let me not just delete all the tags in an hour bc im ashamed
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She is everything to me.
#im having a hard time today#my anxiety has skyrocketed#i can barely sleep at night#running a buisness is so fucking hard#im always stressed about finances clients training plans marketing and everything else#then my girl my heart and soul is aging#E called her an older girl yesterday and something in me broke more#she is slowing down and i think the arthritis in her elbows is more consistently bothering her#she is getting more anxious and fearful#and i feel like the part of my heart that she holds is already mourning its terrified#she is healthy#she is happy#yet she has this weird tuft of fur on her side that is unlike the rest of her coat#is it old dog coat that won't shed anymore? its longer than normal#i am retiring her from obedience this year#ASCA nationals is probably the last time I'll step into the obedience ring with her#it makes me so sad#my girl#my best girl
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i dont think i made his hair big enough honestly
#i have a speech outline for one of my classes due in a couple days and im very stressed#ive been freaking myself out over that class a lot more recently. like#getting so anxious i feel like im going to vomit right before presenting#im usually able to reason myself out of panicking like that but it totally got me last time….. i guess i just lost my grip a little#aaahhhgh#ill get over it#anyways i dont draw curly hair enough. i need to do it more often#iv e been thinking about sho a lot recently (translation: obsession phase)#im making a stageplay shou post at some point soon. i want to really bad#specifically reigen&shou… its important to me#its very. i cant even make a keysmash accurate enough for me right now#mew is moody everybody RUN#mob psycho 100#mp100#sho suzuki#shou suzuki#doodles#meowmeow art#mob psycho fanart
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Can I be mega autistic here and vent for a second and ask if anyone else is lowkey scared for whatever the next RE game is HSBWHDNDJ
#having hyperfixations/special interests combined with a PARALYSING fear of change SUUUUUCKSSS MAAAAANN. IT SUCKS ASS#like realistically I KNOW it’s silly and I KNOW I’ve got nothing to stress over BUT ITS STRESSING ME OUT BAD AND THERES NOTHING I CAN DO#RE4R/Luis has been SUCH a massive comfort of mine and turned into a full blown special interest and I guess the thing I’m most scared of is#the fandom moving on and forgetting abt re4r/luis as a whole which again I KNOW is silly but I can’t control my brain!!!!#and also combined with the fact that Luis probably isn’t coming back to the franchise at least anytime soon is HEARTBREAKING man. like thats#my special interest!! that’s the thing I’ve poured hours of my time into!!!!! I’m scared to see people move on#he’s already a fairly unpopular character in the wider fandom too!! and the fact that the content we do have of him is ALL we’re gonna have?#I dunno that makes me so much more stressed out and anxious than I should be which. again. I KNOOOOOOWW IS SILLY BUT I CANT HELP IT MAN#THE AUTISM!! THE AUTISMMMMM#I dunno I’m expecting Capcom to announce their next game this summer fest and it’s genuinely stressing me out sm which I hate#I hate being so afraid of change it sucks so much man#anyways sorry for the massive vent I just had to get this off my chest cuz it’s been weighing me down massively and making me more anxious#than it has any right to BCNDNENDJXJ#and again the fact that there’s a solid chance we may never see him again at lest not anytime soon is so so so so so devastating to me it#again makes me so much more upset than it has any right to HDNSHENDJDJ#not to mention people who are already weirdly mean and nasty to people who DO like him. I’m Not having a Time rn
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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I have a haircut Saturday so I'm trying to find hair inspo and i s2g 90% of hair photos on pinterest are all AI ?¿?¿
#also does anyone else literally make themselves anxious looking for hair inspo? no? just me??#idk why its so stressful lmao
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You know the game is getting serious when you have the wiki open on one monitor and the game on the other so you can double, triple and quadruple check ✨everything✨ you do
#DoL#degree of lewdity#sdv#stardew valley#shitpost#but seriously#DoL has me attending school like its my fucking religion#GTFO pervs i gotta get an A in all my classes or else i am failing#and freaking Stardew making me so anxious about maximizing my profits and making friends with everyone#the good part is that i am getting so inspired to write again!#lol might have cheated a bit with DoL so I am not as stressed about getting to school unmolested
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don’t understand how ghosting is such a big deal these days, like you’re in a relationship of some kind and it happens ok that’s one thing, but you’re casual or even distant friends or acquaintances and they don’t reply for a few days? they don’t owe you their time, and i’ve never understood the notion of also blowing up someone’s phone if they don’t respond. i just accept they aren’t that bothered and move on unless we r actively intimate for a long period of time where expectations r established 🙄
#ive had multiple guys giving me a hard time for this esp at the moment#im in a stressful period and all they do is whine that im making them anxious bc i dont respond to a meme they sent or something#its so selfish#we arent fucking dating what the hell do i owe you?#even if u hang out with someone (like a first date) and they ghost you cry if u need and move on#ok rant over#ive been ghosted a lot and its just how it goes
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im tired as fuck I haven't slept right (like even for me) in weeks and it's having a toll
#ambien did help and im rationing MUCH better than usual but im currently out till next week 🙃#par for the course for me but yk#ive also been super slacking on my adhd meds bc im so so so anxious these days and it makes it SO much worse#im also avoiding caffeine if i can but its like#the only thing that can help my migraines. which i get more of when im stressed.#its been a lot. i am sorry if ive scared people and thank you for the kind asks and dms
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the current state of the arg
sorry guys the art isnt arting D:
(btw if youre confused on why i drew turnip like that i was referencing the picrew he did ages ago bc idk it looked fun to draw anddd i dont like taking reference off real life images)
#i felt like just a lillll bit of a creep relistening to voice messages over and over to find a good quote but. yk what. it was worth it#i totally didnt take reference from the really cool face i used in that animation because im still really proud of it#idk if emi or TD have a sona but if they do im not aware of it and i didnt feel like asking so i just drew both of them as blank characters#im too stressed to scheme lol#maybe#just maybe#i need to stop drinking tea because the caffiene makes me anxious#...#naaaaahhhh#i dont really know what to do with myself atm because i dont want to work on the animation unless turnon is ok out of pure spite#this morning i was absolutely radiating stress#i have a friend who shows up so we can walk together to school and she could tell smth was off lol#i literally could not hide it at all even if i wanted too#i kept pulling my hat over my face thats the main way you can tell that im stressed#not that it really matters that you know that bc none of you are ever gonna witness that but. fun fact abt me ig#ugh#if turnon dies i am gonna cry so hard <333#and i wont finish the animation <333333333#(at this point just trying anything to get turnon back)#im gonna make a word doc#i make word docs when im stressed /hj#quick question turnip : is there a way to get turnon out of the situation he is in or is he just gonna die and theres nothing we can do#about it /gen#because i have a sneaky suspicion that we cant actually do anything about this#i swear to god#LETS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!!#A DEFRAG MIGHT COME OUT TMR!!#its been 21 days and a defrag takes on average 20-25 days#ough#turnip and addon im gonna find where you live and i will burn your respective houses down
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this whole jack unfollowing mark thing, i can feel 16 yr old me trying to give a shit and i just don’t lmao
#at my old ass age this feels so juvenile#the parasocial relationship has stopped parasocialing#i dont care if theyre not as close as they used to be#they are grown men living in different countries of course theyre not gonna be as close#‘oh something big mustve happened!!’ or they just had a falling out#either way its not our business#until something comes out where one of them has done something actually bad it really doesnt matter#theres so much shit in the world that this just doesnt warrent any stress over#and thats not me talking shit abt people#like i said a few years ago i wouldve been one of them#but if this is genuinely making you stress out and feel anxious then you need to step away and ask why#these are men you most likely will never meet#their personal lives are none of our business and dont need any of your emotional energy#well that’s content#markiplier#jacksepticeye
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#i think i first listened to this song around the time Behind The Codes became an official project#My brain probably associated the feelings of excitement and fear with the song so ig that's why I love it so much#On one side. I love working on the Behind The Codes#there's an overwhelming amount of ways to tell this story: brainstorming. designing. animating. writing and rewriting until your brain-#starts to fry and get foggy with so many ideas. its both good and stressful to push your limits like this#On another side. I'm constantly anxious about it#I've always been afraid to admit the things I enjoy as well as the things that i create#You don't allow yourself to create and embrace new things even when you're essentially alone#and yes I'm aware of the fact that there will be people who won't enjoy the series- which isn't what bothers me#What bothers me is that I might regret certain decisions#'This is not the message I wanted to convey'#'This is not the story I wanted to tell'#The decision to share this song here is the clearest example of what I mean:#Part of me says: this song is so btc oh my god please put it at the end credits wait THERE IS A 2ND PART OF IT AND IT'S EVEN COOLER OOOAAAA#then there's the main thought: this song is so stupid. it's so corny in a way it makes me uhghu7ujhkjg..#i won against my negative thoughts today. yay#this whole post is just me rambling and being anxious. i dont even know what to say hjdsfbwjkefkdsf#bye :waves:#starbstalks
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