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irishbabyx · 6 months ago

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Parts of me last year

unk date --- green lake starbucks

so many faces and bodies that contain unique energies. i still feel that imposter syndrome. who do i think i am? i think i am a good person somehow. i am not hurting anyone or wishing bad luck either. i simply sustain myself.. but on digital media, i presume more life than i actually do. what is success? is it being financial secure? why don’t i have relationships? its like i can’t call or text anyone to hang out with or just be around. is it the energy i give out that people don’t think of or miss me? am i difficult to be around? some days i just want to sit down and not have to talk….. this is why im single lol my expectation is way too high. i expect someone to be perfect when im not and that causes insecurity then i retract. it a vicious cycle i take part in and don’t know how to stop.

i hate being home. ive wasted a couple of years of my life doing nothing. i haven’t really enjoyed myself in washington. i feel like im just violently existing - waiting for someone to notice me and be with me as i heal��

wow - just caught someone’s eyes and that was cute. he was cute - though i am not sure what he is doing here. what’s wrong with me? or what’s right with me? i just want someone to notice me. this guy next to me is .. whatever.

idk if its the caffeine but im having a lot of anxiety. maybe because of daniel. he’s ignoring me. meaning he’s not interested in me anymore. what should i do? just keep cool?

tuesday, march 21st, 2023

at GL starbucks

got back from vegas this morning. spent almost 2 weeks there visiting family, my parents came up as well. helped my sister semi-settle in her new home. so proud of her for coming this far in her life and career. it felt intimidating but i had to pause and tell myself that she also had her own pathway full of treks and obstacles to get her to where she is now. got to know jordan a little bit more, though it was always awkward interactions. he is a family man. he will do everything he can to protect them despite two of the kids not being biologically his. i hope he didn’t feel too overwhelmed us all there - we are all pretty crazy. i also wanted to feel how it would be like living there, so far the only downside is lower income. though now that i think about it, will it matter if i stress about money no matter where i am? the kids are truly little humans now. time is a thief. when it was with kayla, everything was amplified but with more children, everyone’s got a little more chill. not so worried about what goes in the baby’s mouth or if their eating/sleeping schedule is off. we were all just living in the moment. what i did notice, which i want to avoid happening (if that’s even all that possible) is to deter kayla from swallowing derogatory words from my parents and taking it to heart. i know what those exact words did to me as a child and i want her to avoid taking the same steps we have. providing a nurturing, loving, protective home allows them to see the world in a lighter and brighter lens. that no matter the cruel things we see and hear around us, that family should remain golden. i took my family for granted. i made them disposable even though they are the most permanent things from the day i had my first breath.. i wish i had listened to my parents more and read between the lines instead. they showed tough love, but love regardless. had i known they were just new parents experiencing trials and tribulations in a new generation and didn’t also know a damn thing about mental health. their behaviors are hard to unlearn but it feels my duty to protect the next generations from their blinds eyes toward positive child rearing, rather not known. being their aunty mom makes me feel more confident in becoming a mom truly. i aspire to be like my sister who possesses patience day by day. she always kept grounded.

the downside of the trip was the the deep, slow hum of loneliness. i want to experience life with someone. highs and lows. someone to feel and express with. someone i gravitate towards to and look forward to any time of day. i miss that. i miss a partner. that deep ache and longing was present. i met nathaniel, 39 y/o air force pilot. i still can’t wrap my mind around our interactions. i was late 30 mins and made a fuss about it. he noticed everything i said and also had an answer to everything. i didn’t think he’d invite me back to his apartment. that was also strange. idk what he thinks of our age difference - i don’t think he does but he wants someone who is more mature than i. the thing about me is that i don’t know how to express my thoughts into words, let alone formulate a sentence that actually has context. it doesn’t make sense to me. i have lost touch with meaningful conversations. anyway, he’s hot and buff and god damn i choked. i haven’t been able to stop feeling giddy, though i know this is only temporary. he is emotionally unavailable and knows it himself.

boundaries and traumas emanating

monday, march 27th, 2023

at GL retreat

so much has happened since i got back from seattle. so much? actually maybe not but something significant happened. lol that guy i mentioned above turned out to be super psycho and downright TOO sensitive and disrespectful. the messages he sent me were very questionable regarding his integrity and character, for someone serving in the military? now that i think about it, that’s almost abuse, no? i don’t know but glad it only lasted that short. i can’t imagine what other shit he would have came up with or deduce. anywho, i hate that i spiral so quickly when i know what’s about to happen. like financially, how am i gonna come up with rent for next month? and also calling out of work because i got too drunk again last night. these decisions are affecting my livelihood and it’s embarrassing to think and write about. tho this is my reality, i never learned through these difficult times in my life. i continue letting it happen as if it one day, everything will miraculously solve themselves. i am proud of how far i’ve come though, especially without a college degree. i was able to make it out in seattle this long and though.

i want better relationships with my family, individually and as a whole. they continue to support me despite showing angst and being disappointing. i never stopped caring about them and vice versa. i’ve just been hiding my vices from them and that’s what ultimately broke our relationship apart. i was always the issue, not them. i am learning as i go and going on that trip to meet them solidified that family is what i need right now. there was this narrative in my childhood and early adulthood that i was a burden to them and that i was some sort of a leech. i have to forgive myself for that because while it is/was true, i didn’t know i was doing it maliciously. well maybe in their perspective it was.

love life? lol why do i keep talking about this. broken record laced with desperation.

you know, mollie says this over and over that there is a chemical imbalance and it’s not me… why is it so hard to admit that myself? that there will always be that throughout my life. most people dip down multiple times in their lives. i can validate my thoughts and emotions, but i can’t always feel sorry/bad about myself and stay in that dip. cheers, irish. take care of yourself because others need you to.

saturday, april 1st, 2023

at GL starbucks

the early months flew by. i feel like this is the case as i get older. it all just.. happens. the earth will remain even without us. we are but a flicker of light. this week was okay. i fell ill after restarting naltrexone. at least i know now that that’s what the medication does to me. i never knew if meds worked for me or not because i always just feel numb.. now i question if the fluoxetine is also working. the only thing i feel like i need to work on is self-esteem. i have a few people in my circle because that side of me is so vulnerable. you can easily use it to tear me down.

something about having a routine though. it feels safe. but when you do the same thing over and over, people think you’re crazy? for example, going to starbucks ordering the same thing and sitting in the same spot..

anyway. idk what came over me last night but david came over. i hurriedly cleaned my room and vacuumed. lolol the shit i do for men that i wouldn’t even do for myself. i was already so drunk but man was i desperate for it. wow idk how long its been but he aged. LOL grew a mustache but overall looks and smells the same. still bad in bed. won’t stay erect and takes FOREVER to cum. i’m convinced he needs medication. he did remember a few things about me tho? my bed? he was wearing converse how cute. he does care about what he wears. i might buy those converses now. i need to forget about him. he obviously doesn’t care about me and just thinks im a quick booty call. maybe i am a sucker for him tho. i may have hurt his ego too much. from his clothes, to his name, how his converse were yellow, how he lasted, it was all sarcasm but maybe that is my toxic red flag. men have much more sensitive ego that we think.

tuesday, april 18th, 2023

at GL retreat

what’s going on with me again? honestly.. i have these waves of motivation. one week i’m at the very tip top. the next, i’m just existing. i need to stop sending messages to people when i’m drunk like LINDA OR DAVID?? OR NELSON?? JESUS irish. you need to stop. that shit is embarrassing and you are jeopardizing your relationships with people and it makes you look bad and pathetic. i really don’t know how to control myself. alcohol is putting me at risk.

monday, may 8th, 2023

at LV house

i feel like i’m drowning above water. just in debt. i don’t know how to manage my money. i don’t know how to ask for help. i don’t know who to ask for help for. what can i do? a financial advisor, but will i get through this feeling of shame? my parents can’t know.. let my alone my siblings. i feel like a failure. it is because i am. they are all successful and here i am struggling. it was nice being around the family, even just for a day. i feel safe with them.

wednesday, june 7th, 2023

at home (green lake terrace)

what am i feeling? this is a weird sensation. when i want to just talk to someone. or jolt my thoughts down. i’ve gotten too used to being alone that loneliness doesn’t bother me anymore. i feel like i am living in an elderly woman’s body and growing accustomed to independence. however you see that lol. i still feel the need to connect to the outside world and i guess that’s the younger version of me comes in. though i could live alone or isolated, i would still need to know what is going on around me. is this the age i was brought up to? maybe i couldn’t escape that reality.

thursday, june 15th, 2023

at home (green lake terrace)

qi xuan?? huang? hahaha why do i feel so giddy? is this a new thing? i like that he’s not afraid to be himself. he has a fire in him that i want to ignite in myself.

thursday, june 22nd, 2023

at home (green lake terrace)

drunk. me and qi had sex like twice already. sooooo good. its not even the size but the intimacy. feels so comforting. i feel comfortable with him.. just someone i don’t feel like i need to compete with or feel like i need to impress. he’s humble. he’s himself.

sunday, july 16th, 2023

at armistice coffee in roosevelt

woof.

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tears-of-boredom · 1 year ago

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i feel like a lot of people just do not understand cats. nor know what they sound like. i will see a video of a cat meowing completely normally and the comments will be full of "omg wtf noises are those?!!🤣". Or alternatively its a video of a cat clearly being really scared or alarmed, and all the comments are laughing at how silly it is being. reminds me of my mom who just calls our cats stupid for doing normal cat stuff. they'll be playing in the cat tree and she'll be like "omg look at that stupid ass cat"(less harsly but you know). and also she keeps calling Hessu stupid, or implying that he isnt in control of his own behaviour. which is like, I guess its true, but also like, his behaviour makes complete sense. he climbs you to rub on your face and bites you, because that is how he shows affection. he kneads your skin because he clearly isnt aware that we humans are really sensitive to that. he gets really focused on chasing bugs when he sees them, because that is what cats do. quite literally all our cats chase bugs, even if they are on the other side of the window. he jumped into the toilet full of cleaning agent that one time probably because he had jumped on it once when the lid was closed, which would already confirm it in his mind as a safe platform. and he learned to not do that again! now he checks if its safe to jump on the toilet lid! he drunk cooled coffee that one time because it was full of milk and cool and didnt know what it was! and he learned to not drink from human cups from then on, after calming down from the caffeine high that small sip gave him. like pretty often my mom judt sys that Hessu learns nothing, and its so annoying cuz its just factually wrong. he knows where the cat food is kept and knows to meow at my door if he wants it. he also learned to avoid candles! he has learned so many things a cat living in the wild wouldnt need to!

so yeah. like im not saying that its harmful to laugh at cats falling or something, but it just really annoys me when cat owners dont seem to understand their own cats.

like, two of our cats have been with us for long enough that they've learned what boundaries can be pushed, so yes, I will get mad at Seppo for trying to eat my food, because he knows he isnt allowed to do that. he doesn't even like it that much! but i wont get mad if the more recent additions try to do that. I mean I dont think they're that interested in what the humans eat, because neither of them have tried to steal my food yet. but that also means that there hasnt been an opportunity to teach them to not do that. so if they one day stick their snout a bit too close to my food, im not going to get mad, or even annoyed. because why should a cat know that they arent supposed to inspect something that could be nutrition!

#im really tired sory #aminals

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feisty-yordle · 1 year ago

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I have a troubled relationship with caffeine. I really want to like her, and i do not know why. Maybe because people praise her so much. But it has been nothing but ups and downs with us.

And at the heart of many troubled relationships is misunderstanding. Recently, i think i have solved a misunderstanding.

But to explain, i will go into the weeds for a bit. It should all make sense in the end.

[Biology of Exercise and Blood] There is not enough blood in a human's body to perfuse well all tissues. The body handles that by constricting and relaxing vessels in different parts of the body. When a human exercises, blood moves away from the gut and other places into the periphery, especially voluntary muscles, and the heart, among others. This is why humans may find that your hunger disappears when you exercise, and remains absent for some time after. This is also why many runners get nauseous if they have food in their stomachs and may even vomit.

[My Health is not Great] I want there to be lots of blood in my muscles and general periphery. I do not have great circulation most of the time. But i also have very little energy on most days. We do not know why yet.

[Caffeine is a Remedy?] Caffeine can give you energy. Usually does, at least in the short term. But in the long term, people have mixed results. My side-effects can be so severe i get profound mental, emotional disturbances that are very scary to deal with. As well as even worse fatigue than before. But i do get warmer, more focused, and sometimes happier, and more satisfied with my life. It can also, when used well, help me with my circadian rhythm, something i struggle with a lot.

[Caffeine and Exercise: Siblings?] The results i get with caffeine feel a lot like exercise. Its like caffeine puts me into a state of exercise even if im not doing any exercise. I even get the same kind of gastrointestinal discomfort i get when i run hard for long. In a study i recently read, researchers found that caffeine induced central vasoconstriction but did not affect peripheral blood vessels. Which is similar to what exercise does. But with exercise, you can take a break whenever. Caffeine makes you wait hours.

Sounds like if i want the affect of caffeine, i should exercise instead. I am trying to be more regular in my activity. And it has helped with my energy levels and life satisfaction. But getting the butt off the bed, or the Christen into the study mode, is hard if Christen has not already been exposed to caffeine or recently completed exercise.

[Hidden Sibling: Food] Additionally, food is a participant in this dance. When i eat, blood goes to my gut, and i get sleepy. I also get hungry when i am sleepy and feel safe, which may be a natural response for some persons, some more than others. Particularly night eaters. Most humans want to not eat when they are sleepy. But some have the opposite response. I have heard "chronotype" used to describe when people enjoy being awake and asleep. Eating is a part of the circadian rhythm and involved in the same processes that are involved in wake-sleep. Why cannot "chronotype" also then describe when you like to eat?

[The Tug of War] I see a clash here between caffeine and food and maybe also exercise/activity and eating/rest. And maybe, we can work this out. So here is my idea.

[The Idea] If i do not want to be sluggish during a time of the day, i should avoid eating anything substantial. Limit myself to drinks (with energy or without) and light, easy to digest snacks, like bananas. Try doing my morning jogwalk/chores on an empty stomach and making my first meal in the afternoon before my shit. Wake up, go about the rest of my day until my daywork is done. Come home and have a nice dinner and snack whenever i get peckish until it is time for bed.

[Maybe it will not work out with Caffeine and I] Now that i write that all out, i do not see any mention of caffeine. Maybe caffeine has been a cope for me. Forcing me to be in a state of activity, when my body wants to be resting and digesting. Something you may also not know about me: i eat a lot, and i am hungry a lot. Maybe it should not have been so weird to me that i struggle both with hunger and grogginess. But for the same reasons it is hard to tell myself "just eat less", my new plan will be hard because i will become too hungry to go about my shit. But if i am active enough, should that not suppress my appetite until it is a good time to eat and rest? I guess that is where caffeine would come in. In the morning, and after my nap. Pretty standard! Just gotta be more regimented and careful not to consume too much of it. If that is too hard, then i can try becoming a smoker instead.

[Some Closing Props to Cardio] I should add that this has all been made possible at all by me getting back into regular exercise, particularly cardio. Altho exercise makes me tired, i am not more tired overall, and i feel like i have a larger capacity for work, and that it is easier to move my body. I also feel better about my health, and health in one part helps health in the others. And sometimes, when i feel like the best course of action is to lay on the sofa, it may be, but if i exercise first, i sometimes find that i have energy i did not know of.

[Summary] So this is my issue and my new plan. Accepting being a "night eater" and a scantier day eater. Getting up earlier so i have time to eat and nap during midday when it is like planet Venus outside. Allow myself to have caffeine, but be wary of amount, and keep it to mornings and post-siesta so i do not get those awful stomach aches.

#dear diary #txt #caffeine #my health

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orcelito · 2 years ago

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should i make a Bad Choice?

no.

do i Want to make a Bad Choice?

.................yes

#speculation nation #i have a monster energy drink and a schedule to do let's goooooooo #i used to drink these like candy when i was 18 or so lol #HORRIBLE decision to do it bc it can fuck me up so easy and also im currently struggling with a caffeine addiction #tho that's. kinda exactly why i want to drink this.#ive only managed to write like 700 words. fucking NOTHING for a day's attempts.#i took a nap and that hasnt fixed it. my eyes have been Pressure all day #and i have a bit of a headache. again.#im not gonna drink the whole thing in one sitting probably. maybe half. which SHOULD hopefully help me avoid the worst of symptoms #i have to be careful with heavy caffeine intake these days bc it kinda does fuck with my heart lol #which. that Fluttering is not a good feeling. at all. so i would like to avoid it.#but i have several more things i want to get done tonight and so. the risk is perhaps worth it this time #you may say 'but fanny havent you been having trouble sleeping lately?'#to which i would say 'yes but shhh its okay dont worry about it'#risks and rewards my followers. risks and rewards.#be prepared for me to be annoying as hell. as a heavily caffeinated me will be.

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ibroughtyoumybullets · 4 years ago

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insomnia sucks balls dude

#i can smoke weed i can eat melatonin like its candy i can avoid caffeine past certain times i can have intricate before bed rituals #i can do anything and everything. and still my brain and body tells me to go fuck myself #im tired. i am so tired. like physically and fucking mentally. and i still cant sleep #its frustrating. its so fucking frustrating.#i used to be able to sleep anywhere anytime and now the stars need to align for me to be able to fall asleep in less than two hours #and sometimes i just cant sleep at all. and nights like tonight when i really cant sleep i also am just suddenly in weird physical pain #that there is no rhyme or reason for.#i just. :/.#://////////////////////////////////////////////////

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tf2fansderogatory · 2 years ago

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Maybe goin against common belief but i think pauling can be just as impulsive as the mercs. Dont get me wrong, she is absolutely smarter than most of them combined, but when you work 20+ hours a day, 364 days a year, the brains gonna get a little mushy. she just does things thinking its gonna turn out fine, usually things that involve her personal health.

im just saying she has 100% gone to medic at least once with enough caffeine in her system to kill a small horse, and she only went because she was shaking too hard to dig shallow graves properly.

No no no ur sooo right I think it's kind of annoying when people write her off as "the braincell of the group" cuz I find it to be a fandom trope to avoid making women funny. I don't rlly think she's any more of a "group braincell" than like, Spy or something. I think Pauling is super frazzled from being overworked and that should be explored as much as everyone else's quirks and possible side effects retained from their line of work. Also Pauling does literally kill people! It's not uncommon for me to see people write her as like totally inexperienced and needing man, idk, Scout the ultimate weenie man or smth to show her the ropes. She kills people. Let her kill people and be funny

#dimeadoesnt #tf2 #miss pauling #answered by mick

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thefloatingstone · 2 years ago

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hello cpuff, how are you?

i have an adhd related question and need your advise

i would like to try a medical treatment for my adhd again but im very traumatised by my first time. it was apparently a small dosage and the side effects were horrible (i do believe my therapist was only for children too)

how did you find out what treatment was right? do you need a treatment to get by in everyday life?

im going to university soon and i dont want to fuck it up.. :')

thanks in advance!

Hey Toast!

I'm in a unique position in that despite being born in the late 80s and growing up in the early 90s, my dad is a doctor and my mom was heavily involved in his medical practice. So I was very lucky to be diagnosed with "Type 2 ADD" from the age of 4 or 5. My mom did have me on Ritalin as a small child but I wasn't on the medication long although she can't remember why she discontinued it. But something wasn't working for me.

As an adult, my ADHD is a type that is high functioning for most things, thankfully. I still have big struggles, and as a result I developed the fun little splinter skill called "Anxiety disorder" to counteract the forgetfulness, procrastination, avoidance and general executive dysfunction. It works for a lot of things... but it's still an anxiety disorder which has its OWN symptoms and detriments.

As a result, I'm not on any ADHD specific medication. Although most of them are illegal here anyway due to them being an amphetamine. The medication I am on is for the anxiety disorder which became necessary after some extremely traumatic events in 2018 when I hit my limit.

When I was in matric, I self medicated with vasts amount of diet coke (it was the caffeine which helped focus). I still have an extremely difficult time with studying if it's a subject I don't find interesting as my brain will heavily resist the study period itself and will "dump" any information I learn during studying because it doesn't produce dopamine and so the brain function considers it "useless information." (this isn't me trying to be cute. This is a gross simplification of what actually happens cognitively).

At the moment I am trying to study for the ILETS exam and I admit it's very difficult and I am avoiding it a lot.

I am using a star sticker reward system which has worked for me in the past. (it doesn't seem as effective these days but it used to work very well). And I try and limit how much I study to extremely short sessions more frequently than doing long study periods. I also do a lot more cramming the day before as a result of how my brain treats "undesired information".

The flip side is I remember random trivia and knowledge in subjects I enjoy for literally decades...

Anyway I'm rambling.

I don't know if it would be beneficial to you and your ADHD make-up, but I find that behavioural therapy, reward systems and structure work better for me in lieu of medication. (outside of the anxiety meds to manage anxiety symptoms. The medication does not take away the functional anxiety that counter-acts the ADHD luckily). The only downside here is that BECAUSE of my ADHD I struggle to do a lot of the therapy practice specifically designed to help manage my symptoms. (but I am not in a place where I can find ADHD specific therapy to help me with how my brain functions). But I DO find repetitive practice, structure, and breaking things down into the tiniest most basic tasks does help a TINY bit.

That, and doing more than one thing at once. THAT one is a winner for me. Cooking supper? Put on a video to listen to as I do so. Driving? podcast time. Working? youtube tutorial time. reading? music time. (just no lyrics). Jogging? More podcasts/audiobooks.

As well as different methods of processing information. If you can, try to find places that present the material you want to learn in a unique manner. I'm currently 1/4 through the first Dune novel because a DJ made a 23 hour video putting the audiobook to his own lo-fi mixes and trippy visuals. Which resulted in me very quickly memorising a LOT of names and world building which I'm normally terrible at. I tend to internalise information best through video than reading. But when I do read a physical book, audio input is a big must as my brain gets bored otherwise and I lose focus.

My friends with ADHD have great success with journalling in bullet point although it doesn't work for me. (I start, it works great, then I stop doing it and forget it was a working method.) They found breaking things down into bullet points helps them bring order to their thoughts. Same with calendars.

Use multi coloured pens. This is a BIG help. Just writing every paragraph in a new colour helps so much for re-reading notes and stops you skimming a huge text wall.

Speak to your lecturer and make them aware that you will doodle in class while they lecture, and that you are doing so because it stops you from getting visually distracted while they lecture and helps you process audio better. Maybe they won't care but it's best just to let them know "I'm not ignoring you so don't call me out."

I hope some of this can be helpful in SOME way... I still struggle a lot so I don't have a lot of answers because I mostly feel like I don't function well at all. And what I do function with I only function with out of dumb luck.

I know I have adult mutuals who also have ADHD so maybe some of them can help chime in with more tips. (I won't tag them because I don't want to call them out without permission)

#ADHD #C-Puff answers

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eternityservedcold · 2 years ago

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akira paleeease talk more about tomoyo just share a bunch of stuff about tomoyo I want to learn about her so bad. shes just so ermmm pardon my french. hot as hell

AKSDJHASKJDHK of course my friend. here are some Assorted Tomoyo Facts (aside from the things able to be gleaned from her reference blurb)

all of the amalgam assembly characters have an associated tarot card (because im insane). hers is the magician, which can mean a lot of things but in her case mostly represents:

skill and success (her work is complex but she is very good at it)

the physical and spiritual (her work can be seen as a form of magic and/or transmutation)

concentration and willpower (yeah)

creation and manifestation (she is literally frankenstein 2, having created a living being from nothing)

speaking of, i dont talk about connie much but its tomoyos daughter, a living being made from candy. she honestly started the project as a joke but once it worked she was like "WHAT THE HELL. i need to study this thing." and made it go fight monsters lol (it went willingly!! it was NOT forced)

the creation of connie is actually, OBJECTIVELY, the inciting incident for everything. so you could say tomoyo is the foundation on which amalgam assembly lies!

tomoyos usual work is commissioned body modifications, clones, bioengineered animals/people, and prosthetics. some of what she considers her best work (aside from connie) are: an idol/actress harpy girl (commissioned by a media company), a living ball jointed doll (commissioned by a toy company), and a mermaid girl with a functional tail (commissioned by the mermaid girl herself)

amalgam assembly will be a fighting game, but tomoyo herself will not fight because 1. she doesnt care enough and 2. she is pretty physically weak. anyone who wants to fight her will have to take it up with leo. that being said, with the amount of FREAKS there are in amalgam assembly (demons, angels, vampires, dragons, etc), im sure shed love to thoroughly examine (dissect) all of them. maybe she can be a dlc character with a similar shtick to valentine from skullgirls?

leo has a big gay crush on tomoyo (big shocker) and in the final product its going to be extremely ambiguous whether tomoyo is leading them on, ambivalent to it, or genuinely clueless. the real answer lies somewhere in the middle? tomoyo is married to science and thus cannot be wooed, but she also doesnt see leo as an attainable partner for herself (for many reasons), BUT she ALSO sees the value in keeping them around to do stuff around the lab

ok ok ive been going on for too long. here are some rapid fire facts:

her blood type is actually O, even though the commonly accepted blood type personality theory says she should be B or AB. she thinks this is very funny

her favorite flavor category is savory (avoiding giving her a favorite food so as to not curse her)

though she provides plastic surgery, etc to others, shes actually staunchly against doing it on herself

i like to imagine she had a deviantart sparkledog phase (or whatever the 2030s/40s equivalent would be) but idk if i would say thats concretely canon

she made her goggles herself and they are prescription (shes very nearsighted)

she often falls asleep at her desk, no matter how much caffeine she consumes

she likes to make pottery as a hobby whenever she actually has free time

she owns a three-headed cat named catberus (the heads are also individually named. havent decided what theyre called though...)

(NOT real lore dont take this seriously lol)

#SORRY FOR THE BIG TEXT DUMP LOL this freak has been living in my brain for 6 years i have no choice #also sorry for the ''late'' response i drafted this so i could look at it when i was more awake #amalgam assembly #drinksss #ask

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ms-indifferwnt · 4 years ago

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“I’m Cold”

“I’m cold"

“And?”

“Can’t you give me your jacket or something?”

“Can’t you accept my proposal and marry me already?”

In which Prince Donghyuck’s parents are forcing him to get married and he decided to propose to the first girl he sees to shut his parents up

Genre: Prince!Lee Donghyuck x Maid!Reader, Angst, Fluff, Arranged Marriage (kinda), Slowburn

Warnings: Curse words, Suggestive, [In this Chapter] Sexual and Physical harassment

Notes: Chapter 8 of Im Cold. This one was written fairly quickly cause of my background music and I never realized I’ve already wrote this much anyway enjoy

WORD COUNT: 3.1k

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Its been a day since the fight and neither of you made a move to speak to one another. You didn't approach him in fear of getting yelled at, Well that's part of the truth, the other part was basically you not wanting to look into the prince's eyes and see how hurt and sad he was.

That day he didn't wake you up, he sat at the dining table, actually this was the first time he sat down and ate in the palace in almost two weeks, you and him would always eat out and come home before lunch return for a couple of duties and stay in your room the rest of the day while The Prince goes to his lessons and remaining schedule

He takes the tea that Yuta offered him as Doyoung reads out his schedule for the day, "You have a schedule later at Ten A.M. a meeting with the neighboring countries' Dukes for an exchange that could possibly benefit the kingdom" He looks at his notes "Or at least that is what they said, so attending this meeting is mandatory Your Highness, then next you also have a Lunch date with the Earl of WayV later, Do you remember his name from your last meeting?" Making the Prince nod Doyoung hums in approval "Its Lord Kun and Lord Ten, Your Majesty" He reminds just incase the Young Prince was bluffing and he continues rambling on about his schedule

The Prince takes a sip and looks at the other cup of coffee and snickers "You'd might not want to send that to father" making Yuta look at him in slight confusion "Mother is lessening Father's caffeine intake"

"Of course you're right" Yuta spoke and Doyoung stopped, and Yuta bows in respect "This is for Lady Y/n," Donghyuck visibly straitened at the mention of her name and he looks at the older male "She ate breakfast as her Maid went to fetch it this morning but I thought I'd make her a drink as well"

Donghyuck looks at the coffee, the two of you haven't spoken a word, To you that was probably one of the worst punishments someone could ever grant, you have no idea what you did to you silence is fear and the fact the Prince is avoiding enough proof that you did something unforgivable, Donghyuck on the other hand saw this as an opportunity, an opportunity to get away from you, an opportunity to stop the rapid beating of his heart when he sees you, the perfect opportunity to use as the reason why you two would break up, It was perfect, he then looks at his tea before placing it down and grabbing the coffee "I'll drink this" He hums and takes a sip "Get her something new," He looks back at Doyoung "like Hot Chocolate and some cookies" he suggested, knowing very well that is exactly what Yuta will bring you

Yuta knocks on your door, humming when you answered. When he entered you were there in a sunflower patterned sundress sitting on the window sill as the wind poured into your room going though your hair and skirt, the sun painting you in a light cozy atmosphere and both of you meet eyes "Good Morning" You smiled softly

He bows and nods "I have brought you some cookies and Hot Chocolate" he says and places it on your side and happily serves you the cup

You smile "Weird" you murmur and he looks at you with a questioning glance "Cookies and Hot chocolate are my favorite" you answered and looked at the cookie before taking a bite "No way" you said and took another bite "This- This is from my favorite shop, how did you?" You look at him amazement, placing the half eaten cookie down no longer having the appetite to eat that

He chuckles "The Prince suggested that shop" He answers, and offers you a tissue as you moved to suck on your fingers when the chocolate chip coated your finger "He as quite adamant about that shop and now I see why" His eyes travel to your bedside where an uneaten tray of today's breakfast sat and he looks at you "Was today's breakfast not to your liking today My Lady?" He asks nd takes the tray "I could ask the kitchen to make something more of your liking

You flinched and looked at it before shaking your head "No, The food was delicious" You defended

"And yet, you have not touched it"

"I'm not hungry, I barely eat breakfast on normal days anyway"

"Breakfast is an important meal, you've been eating with the Prince"

"Cause he whines when I don't" She smiles "And you know the best way to get the Prince to stop is by giving him what he wants"

"It's because the Prince wants you to be happy and healthy"

You wiped your hand on the tissue he had offered, thinking about what he said, words of the unsuspecting, nobody besides you and The Prince really did know that this little arrangement was fake "Did," You spoke before you could stop yourself and he hums waiting for you to continue "Did he call for me?"

"No, My Lady" He answers and you nod, bowing. He leaves your room once you start looking out the window once again, he stops at the door way just about when he leaves "If my Lady is bored the library is always open, and reading a book in the patio is definitely a must try" he smiles and leaves making you watch him

You gave his leaving figure a sad smile "When was the last time I sat down and read a good book?"

Donghyuck had his papers and notes in his arms and went in the direction of the Tea room in order to make a good impression on this meeting, he reads through them murmuring to himself as he reads through it, keeping every thought of you in the back of his mind and made sure you stayed there, he could not afford messing this up.

You on the other hand had three thick books, excited to read them on the patio just like what Yuta has suggested, you were excited, you haven't had a day off where you could read books like this anymore. You don't wanna think about Donghyuck, not right now at least, let him stay out of your head an let you drown into your own world with the books.

You balanced them and carefully (so you won't accidentally bump into anyone) going to the direction of the patio. that was until you felt something by your feet, you tripped making the books fall some papers in between spill out and you yelped, not cause it hurt (it did) but the books were of more value than your life, these are old and kept in the library of the royal palace, you could get an earful from both the Prince and his Parents at this rate and that is something you want to avoid. The sun dress you were wearing was slightly caked in dirt, you hair that Hana has taken the time to fix falling out of the pins she has place. "The books!"

You looked up and was met with an awful looking woman, her hair was pompously styled showing off nothing but arrogance, he make up caked, skin one, two shades lighter than her arms, he lips a horrible shade of red and you can tell from the girl who looks at you in disgust, is her daughter, they look alike, too alike its uncanny "So you're the girl My Donghyuck is going to marry"

Donghyuck flipped over the page he was on, two young maids and a butler of the palace walking ahead of him, unaware of the Prince behind them, He keeps reading, focusing on the topic of his meeting with the Duke, Duke Park Bong, he stops come to think of it the name is familiar in a way he can't put his finger on. He probably heard the name in one of his lessons, no matter he can wing it. He continues on his journey and focusing on the notes at hand

"Did you see the Duchess and her Daughter?" asked one maid to the other and Donghyuck zones them out making a mental note to greet the guests after the meeting

"You mean out by the Garden?" The other replies "ofcourse I have"

"Y/n was with them right?" The butler chuckles "On her knees as the Duchess' daughter spoke to her so ruthlessly" Donghyuck looked up at the sound of your name and looks at the three in confusion "All she could do is look down at the ground"

"Serve her right" Says one maid angrily "Seriously can't stand her, can't believe she seduced the Prince and is now the pearl of the Palace"

Donghyuck stopped walking at their words, in shock and anger bubbling up inside of him. Fake or not, no one is allowed to hurt you an think so little of you, no one, he opens his mouth to speak

"Do you think she gives good blow jobs if the Prince likes her that much?" asked the butler jokingly "If she did it for the Prince I don't think she'll mind going on her knees for me, or even better on all fours" he laughs

He walks, faster and faster catching up to the three and landing a swift and clean punch to the Butlers face making the maids scream and move to yell at the sudden intrusion only to stop at the sight of the Prince giving them a glare "Say all that again"

They bowed down in fear, and the butler back away at the sight of the Prince, his glove red from the blood that the Prince managed to hit "She may be a maid" Donghyuck says his voice dangerously quiet "But she is my Fiancé, The woman I love, The girl that will one day be Queen once I take the Throne and you dare speak of her that way?" They started shaking doing anything to look at everything but the Prince "Where is she?" they kept their mouths shut, he tilts his head to the side before walking towards one maid who back up "I said, where is she? Now!" He yells and the other maid broke out into a sob in fear cowering under the terrifying atmosphere the Prince has set up, his notes were scattered all over the floor and he could careless his only priority was you

"G-garden, your majesty" The butler answer as he stood up and bowed at the sight of the Prince

Donghyuck turns in the other direction, away from the Tea room and towards the Garden "You're all absolutely Disgusting," He says and turns his head just to look at the three of them "Get out of my sight" he answers and runs

You yelped once the girl grabs you by the hair and pulled you up to face her your hand on her wrist and holding it tightly "You're nothing but a palace rat!" she huffs and lets go of you making you fall "Why did My Donghyuck ever choose you?!" She yelps once you found what you were looking for holding it tightly made her yelp and drop you "Mommy! She hurt me!" She calls once you looked up at them, confusion and anger in your eyes, you have no idea who they are but you hate them, you can fight for yourself you were sure of that but why are they mad at you

The mother, moved to grab your hair, anger in her eyes "You have no right to touch my daughter rat! You spend time as the Prince's Fiance and you forget your place! You are a maid of the Palace, a nobody, someone with very little value-" You let out a loud yelp at the tight she had

"You forget your place" You retaliated and glared at the woman "I am at My home and you are a guest, Duchess" You answered and tried to pry her hand off "Neither of you have the right to raise your voice at me and hurt me!" you said venom and anger dripping every word

The Prince appears "Let her go" He says his anger from the encounter a while ago and now he was even more angry at the sight infront of him. He runs to hold and pull you away from them once The Duchess lets go inshock, he places you down and hold you close as you gasped and clinged, hiding your face in his chest in an attempt to calm yourself, you were angry and in pain and Donghyuck became your rock as he glared at them

"Baby!" The girl said happily once seeing her "I missed you"

"Haneul, you're absolutely horrible" He says and covers you from sight when Haneul glares at him and you "Neither of you deserve to be in our presence nor be in my palace"

"But Baby!-" Haneul starts and gets cut off by The Duchess who started explaining herself

He rolls his eyes "Save it, I heard enough. Harming a fellow person is already enough for punishment but harming the light of my life?" He smiles and it made Haneul and her mother freeze at the sight "Do you even know why you're in my palace?" He taunts and moves to nuzzle you as you sobbed into his chest, everything was just becoming too much, the fight with Donghyuck and now this one, You were just so scared and sad and now here you were sobbing into the Prince's chest. Donghyuck hates them more after hearing you try to calm your self, silent sobs and sharp intake sof breath are what can be heard from you "You're in my Palace because the Duke wants to talk matters with me," He continues and looks to the side to see them in his peripheral vision, and it looks like the duchess has the gist of what's going to happen as Haneul continues on glaring at You

He lifts you up, making you gasp and he shushes you, shifting you so you'll be comfortable in his arms, "You're safe" I'm sorry, He thinks, then looks at Haneul and The duchess "I think the the will be greatly disappointed to loose the worth of his family name, title, and watch his wife and Duaghter rot in prison now, don't you think?" He asks and carries you in the palace leaving the scattered books and speechless Duchess

"wa-wait" You said and wrapped your arms around his neck "The- the books" You said inbetween sobs and pulled away from his chest making Donghyuck finally see your face

Tear stained cheeks and red swollen eyes, he hated the Duchess and Haneul for treating you and here you were worried about Books, he turns his head to see the books scattered, "Doyoung can pick those up" He answers and walks to your room

You shake your head, "No Donghyuck" You said panicked "Those books are older than you" He looks at you, trying to understand why that would be worth more "They're irreplacable"

He looks at you everything you just said made his entire being disagree "No" He answers, A book can be bought again, a book can be borrowed, a book can be re-printed, a book can be replaced "You're irreplacable" He answered and finally sprinted to your bedroom, clinging on to him more

He gently places you down on your bed his hand flying to your head, "Are you ok?" He visibly softens, he knows your scared of him when he's angry so now he calms down and rubs your scalp "Stupid question really" he admits, and you leaned into his touch and he had to control the heat that spread on your cheeks "I'm sorry I wasn't there earlier, If I had known-"

"you saved me" You answered and cut him off, you didn't look ok,"Thank you"

He looks at you worried "You should change" He murmurs "Go take a shower and change" He stands, reluctantly pulling away from you and taking a step back "I'll call Hana" He says and you shake your head once he reaches your door

"Stay" You whisper, "Please? Stay here"

"You're Highness" Doyoung entered your room making Donghyuck let go of the hand he was holding, Doyoung clears his throat "My Prince, may I speak with you outside?"

Donghyuck nods and smiles assuring you, "I'll be right back" He promises and moves off your bed and into the hallway where Doyoung was waiting

You sat there, being in your thoughts gave you enough time to think about what The prince said The light of his life, The Prince was taking the agreement to seriously. None of his words are true, he's only doing this caused he promised to take care of you in the time you are his Fiance and that time is almost over

"Donghyuck are you alright?" Doyoung asks the moment The Prince closes your door and hugs him "Is Lady Y/n alright? I heard what happened The Duke was about to issue a warning 'till he word got around what his wife and Daughter did" He pulls away

Donghyuck leaned against the wall "We're ok," He assures but he still looked angry and Doyoung knows he has every right to "Strip the family of their title and issue a warrant to in prison the former Duchess and Haneul for physical abuse, Physical assault" He starts "Against my Fiancé" Doyoung stares at him in surprise "Please like they'll go to jail, they'll can pay a fee" Doyoung stays in place and Yuta walks past them only for Donghyuck to call him

"Yuta Hyung" He calls and the older stops, turning to look at the Prince, who seemed to have a lot on his mind "There should be a a butler with a bloody and hopefully a broken nose somewhere, get him and his friends, out of my palace and charge him with Sexual Assault"

Doyoung became wide eyed and looked at the young Prince "What- Why? What happened"

Donghyuck didn't answer and looks at them with an unamused look "Go" He said and the two left to listen to his orders. "Jaehyun" he calls after dialing the number on his phone "I need you to cook pasta" He starts

Jaehyun scoff on the other side of the phone "You don't like pasta"

"Yeah, But it's not for me"

"Did the Queen crave pasta again?"

"No, It's for Y/n, She likes Pasta"

I’m Cold Taglist:

@staysstrays @tyongf-sunflower99 @jackyeongljin @rebel-lious-alien @daydreamiies @channiespup @jaeshark @itlittlefangirl @ncttboo @manutuankim

If you wanna be added, leave a comment♡♡

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jtrbluv · 4 years ago

Text

hell-ish | pjm

summary: can be read as a separate oneshot or a continuation of ‘we’re not really strangers’“

“But do you remember when we went on a field trip to that amusement park in 8th grade? Around halloween time? … Yeah, I think that’s the moment I pretty much fell in love with you.“

pairing: jimin x reader

genre: fluff, humor, establisedrelationship!au

word count: 7.7k+

warnings: profanity (they are beyond terrified), inaccurate depictions of amusement park shenanigans, neurotic clowns (but they’re acting)

A/N: IM SO SRY ITS LITERALLY NOT EVEN HALLOWEEN ANYMORE GOODBYE DD; in my defense they typically have these typa things open after halloween ends... miss rona just isn’t allowing it this year ofc ;w; a special thanks to @viopera , @koushiningg, and @bangtans-peaceful-piegon for letting me use their likeness, i love u all. and i hope you enjoy this late halloween fic right before thanksgiving break!

The car rolls to a smooth stop. The man in the driver’s seat puts the car into park—turning towards you while placing a reassuring hand on your thigh.

“Hey,” he says, a small close-lipped grin painting across his features, “you excited?”

You reposition in your seat so you can face him, or more specifically, your best-friend-turned-lover—the sight of him smiling causes you to elicit one of your own, your nerves slightly subsiding.

“I am actually,” you admit, “how long has it been? Six? Seven years?”

“Around there I think, but we should probably get going. The lines are probably going to be stupid long like always,” he suggests, his hand leaving your thigh only to ruffle the hair on top of your head, "Here's to new memories Y/N."

You step out onto the pavement—the crisp, cold night air nipping at your cheeks and nose. The cooler temperature serving as a reminder that winter was yet to come and autumn was about to come to a close. You form an O-shape with your mouth, exhaling sharply and seeing your own breath swirling and blending into the air around you.

Footsteps approach you from the side as you shut the car door. Your head whips around to see Jimin walking towards you with a dopey grin plastered on his face. In response, your eyes playfully loll back, a stream of air huffing out of your nose.

You shift your focus back towards in front of you, eyeing the roller coaster that intimidatingly loomed beyond the fence of the park, the drop tower that appeared just as high, and the other neighboring attractions that towered significantly enough to be seen from afar. The whole stretch of the park emitted a red glow, from what you could assume was from the large-scale lighting and technology that was spread out across the expanse.

A soft hand slides its way from your forearm down to your palm, intertwining all in one smooth motion. It was warm and comforting much unlike your frozen, almost entirely numb ones.

“Someone’s a little cold aren’t they,” he teases, using his other hand to attempt to rub more warmth into yours.

“You know my hands are chronically cold,” you pointedly whine, causing small clouds of air to shoot out of his mouth and nose due to his laughter.

He locks the car and you two begin making your way towards the entrance—from what seemed like a mile, in reality, was only a block away. There was practically no gap in between the two of you the entire time, taking advantage of each other’s body heat amidst the numbingly cold weather.

The wait wasn't too shabby, but you knew it was because time always seemed to pass by so much faster when you were with him, most of the pastime consisting of talking about how your past week has been, the fuckton of assignments you two had gotten, and the dangerously high intakes of caffeine you two had consumed as per usual.

The conversation ceased after a while, and it was just the two of you pressed side to side in comfortable silence, hands still intertwined. It was interesting to see such a vast variety of ages all around you—the most common age range were teenagers or people of the same age as the two of you, which wasn’t a surprise. After getting past the ticket booth and security check, you

two finally make it inside.

The first thing you notice is the large, antique carousel that hadn’t changed in the tiniest bit since the last time you were here.

The meticulously decorated entrance—brought to life by the fire torches, heavy-duty fog machines that didn't allow one to see after 10 feet ahead of them, bright lights that were replaced by either no lights at all or a faint red tint, and just the whole ambiance—had greatly juxtaposed the simplicity and familiarity of the carousel that stood in the eye of it all.

The heat of the fire torches allow you to regain some warmth back into your body—you create a small gap in between you and Jimin, in which he pouts and lifts your intertwined hands up to his face, pressing a kiss into the back of your hand.

“So, where do you wanna go first?” He asks, swinging your arm back and forth after passing through the gates.

“I’m fine with whatever,” you enunciate a bit loudly, the usual noises of amusement park shenanigans hindering your hearing.

“You sure about that?”

You click your tongue, “Jimin please, I’m a college student now, not a puny 8th grader anymore,” you argue, watching him turn away as he tries to stifle his laughter, “I swear!”

“Alright! Alright! I’ll believe you,” he eventually caves, frantically waving his hand to dismiss your concerns, “But I won’t believe you until I see it.”

“Oh, so we’re gonna play that game huh,” you retort, brows furrowing as a smirk creeps across your face, “Alright, so what do you think about riding that?” You ask innocently, motioning up towards the drop tower that forced one to crane their neck all the way back just to see the top.

You break your focus as you look back down and turn towards him to gauge his reaction. His jaw dropping down to his knees—eyes widened in complete bafflement and horror.

“Y/N. I am literally going to fucking die if I ride that shit. Oh my god.”

“What do you mean? It’s totally safe! I’ve been on it so many times.” You attempt to console him, knowing it’s futile because of the piercing glare he gives you right after you say that.

“And that’s supposed to make it better how?!"

You soothingly rub the back of his hand in an attempt to ease his nerves, “Of course I won’t push you if you don’t want to, you know.”

He sighs, “Well, now you’re just making me sound like a puny 8th grader.”

“I can assure you that you very much, are not Chim.” And he smirks at that, tightening his grip on your hand, making you wish that you didn't give him that ego boost in the first place because he surely didn’t need any more of that.

You take some time to mull over your options, but instead, go with whatever your gut feeling was initially leaning towards, “Okay, so what if every time you take me to a house, I have to take you on a ride. You get to choose the house and I get to choose the ride.”

He nods in acknowledgment, “I’m listening.”

“Does that sound valid?” You inquire.

He bites on his bottom lip, taking a moment to quickly cogitate between the options you had given him, and at last, he nods, "It sounds like a win-win."

"Or a lose-lose." You chuckle, and he mirrors.

He shakes his head, “I know you like rollercoasters and all that scary shit, but there’s also a ton of stuff that they’ve added since we’ve last been here.” He replies, thinking out loud, while making you feel more content with your decision, “You got a deal ma’am.” He affirms at last—releasing his grip to offer you his hand to seal the deal, in which you confirm resolutely by shaking it.

Just like he said, the amusement park most definitely stepped up their game ever since you both were middle schoolers, navigating the large expanse with a bunch of other measly and equally puny peers.

The deeper you two make your way into the park, the more themed attractions lined the path. At this point, you could barely make out the bottom half of your legs due to the thickness of the fog. Actors were running around left and right—faces decorated with FX makeup that you could barely discern because of the dim lighting—effectively scaring others, clear by the amount of ear-splitting shrieks you've heard in the past ten minutes that was enough to make your eardrums burst.

Jimin takes note of your slight tenseness. He wasn't oblivious and he knew that you were trying to feign nonchalance—but the razor-tight grip on his hand and lack of chatter on your end was saying otherwise. But just like everything you do, he thought it was cute anyway.

He promptly squeezes your hand, making you turn to face him, "Do you want the first pick?"

You hum, "You can have it if you want."

"Are you sure?"

"Yess," you drag out exasperatedly, "how many times do I have to tell you that I'll be perf– !" You abruptly halt as a zombie (that very much isn't real is what you keep reminding yourself) whizzes past you, brushing against your shoulder and making you jump and trip over your own two feet.

The man beside you is quick to react—leaping in front of you with his arms out so you could fall into his grasp. And you do, gripping his arms to better steady yourself and stand up. As you attempt to straighten yourself out, your head sinks into his chest, laughter erupting out of the two of you to the point where his knees almost give out.

You detach yourself from his chest, tears pooling in the corners of your eyes from laughing so goddamn much. Finally regaining your poise, you immediately slip your fingers back in between his. He cards a hand through his locks with his remaining hand while taking deep breaths.

While tugging him away from where you two were standing to avoid another ruckus... granted that you were at a haunted amusement park, you shout into foggy air, "I'm fine, I'll be fine Jimin! Let's go!", hoping that maybe if you spoke it out into the world, you could manifest it into being true.

Well, weren’t you wrong.

A rare and near impossible feat is what you were able to accomplish: forcing Jimin to make a decision. Despite him already being a trademark libra, you always believed that one of his most standout and consistent libra-esque traits was the fact that he was so indecisive. To which had resulted in him forcing you to make decisions instead of him most of the time, whether they had been trivial or not.

The moment you realized that this "feat" wasn’t much of a feat, after all, was when you two had finally reached the entrance of the first haunted attraction he had chosen, his impulsive and most likely ulterior-motivated driven decision causing you to retract all preceding moments in which where you were being stubborn and indignant in him making the first pick.

Just your luck, his explanation behind his decision (and your almost near-death experience) is that he says and you quote, “Start off with a bang! We get the worst over with now so it’s all smooth sailing for the rest of the night. Trust me.”

For some context, you had a very rational fear of clowns. The year of 2016 was already bad enough as it was—a time in which you had gotten out of your first serious relationship, afterward giving yourself the most horrendous haircut in your entire life because you were emotionally strung and the scissors… well they just happened to be within an arm’s reach.

Later on in said year when you had become a junior and assignments had been piling up higher and higher without any shits given whatsoever, your minuscule fear of clowns had been blown out of all proportions—ultimately fueled by the number of clown sightings around your town and one altercation that you still think about until this day. Four years later, you can still vividly recall the time where you were coming home after studying all day at the local library and on the other side of the street, you had spotted a clown—feet planted to the cement sidewalk, body immobile besides their head that would keep its focus on you as you continuously made your way down the street. As you began to quicken up your pace, the clown began to reciprocate your actions from across the way, and you came to the conclusion that you didn’t really wanna die that night so you sprinted the entire rest of the way home.

And here you two were, at the front of the line standing behind the black curtain entrance—next to a rugged wood sign with the words, CLOWNEUROTICS, inscribed with a dripping, rich red liquid which you surmise was fake blood and not Kool-Aid.

“I cannot believe I let you have the first pick and you do this to me” You quip, chewing the chapped skin of your lips, breath shallow and bated.

“Y/N, you’ll be just fine. I’ll be here right beside you, remember?” he assures you once more, giving you another tight squeeze on your hand.

The curtains swish open, the employee in a simple all-black ensemble motioning the two of you to come inside. You close your eyes, taking one deep and steady inhale before stepping in.

You can barely make out your surroundings, let alone Jimin, who was standing right beside you. The worker’s voice hollers over the deafening noises of the tent. “Follow the path, don’t go backwards, or else you'll hold up the line. And you see that green light?” He asks while pointing to the tiny green bulb that was down the hallway in front of you, “Take a right from there.”

Jimin replies, knowing that you’re too fear-stricken to form coherent sentences at the moment, “Alright, thanks.”

The man nods, and Jimin tugs on your hand as he begins to walk forward. You follow closely behind, reminding yourself to take breaths before you flat out lose consciousness.

As you reach the end of the hallway and the green light bulb the man mentioned, Jimin pauses and turns around to stand in front of you, placing his hands on your shoulders.

“Y/N, I know you hate my guts right now, but I’m sorry in advance and just know that I love you, okay? You have full permission to torture me after this.” He reassures with a wide grin.

“Yeah, yeah, I love you too,” you grumble, lips downturned and head hanging low.

You feel his soft lips graze over your cheek, leaving a chaste peck before giving you an airy, irresistible smile that you can’t really help but relent, even though it already feels like your heart is about to implode on itself.

Taking a right, the setting of the attraction comes into periphery. White walls and floors—reminiscent of a hospital, are tainted with blood, a disarray of medical equipment, and severed body parts. You take notice of the vacant hospital beds, sheets crumpled and stained with red. Framed pictures of medical staff were hanging by loose nails, glass shattered, bloody splatters and smears all over the frames, walls, and white tile.

You two reach a doorway, next to one of the hinges was a sign that clearly said, Psychiatric Ward. Well, I guess that explains the neurotics part.

In an attempt to swallow down some of the fear in your throat, you tighten your grip on Jimin’s hand while opting to slither your remaining hand around his bicep.

He takes notice of your actions that were propelled by your increasing fear, and naturally, he can’t help but feel bad, “Hey, you know I’d never let anything happen to you.” He tells you, shaking you out of your slight daze, “You can hold onto me the whole time and stick your head in my shoulder just like you did years ago, I won’t mind,” he teases while booping your nose.

“Alright, let’s just get this over with, please.” You huff out, determined to somehow put on maybe not a brave, but a braver face than what he expects from you.

You manage to fail in a whopping, record-breaking, ten seconds of going inside.

The first jumpscare was so entirely predictable—the thunderous pounds against the wall, the trudging and supposedly neurotic clowns (although clowns are already neurotic enough as they are) had all built up suspense until a head of a clown had shot up from around the corner. Their usual clown features distorted with gashes in their skin and blood dribbling out of the corners of their mouth, clothes ripped and stained. Your entire body violently spasms, a shrill shriek, and an embarrassingly long string of curses leave your lips in a matter of mere seconds.

You don’t even notice the man you’re holding onto folding over in laughter because the clown is still very much still following you even after you turn the corner, but before you can recalibrate and trek forward another clown materializes just sparse inches at your side. Your entire body forcefully jerks back, knocking into Jimin, but the force doesn’t phase him in the slightest as he swiftly brings his arms around your frame to prevent you from falling back.

Next to you, the man’s laughter hasn’t ceased a bit the entire time, and as you quickly dash forward and away from the clowns that you oh-so-wanted to knock a tooth out of, while clinging onto his side, he presses a kiss to the top of your head, “Hanging in there?”

“I think I’m gonna murder you before I murder any of these clowns.”

“Noted!” he chimes while playfully bumping his head into yours.

As you two turn another corner, the sight of more clowns banging against vacant windows on either side of you has you wincing, and you could swear you could feel your left eye start to involuntarily twitch. You come to the indubitable realization that amidst dozens of clowns, you are evidently the biggest one here.

The sounds that blaringly elicit from your lips are the nearing equivalent to keyboard smashes with a variety of curse words in between. In short, if you had a swear jar, you’d be practically penniless at this point.

The clowns are quick to take note of your cowardly conduct, using it to their advantage and targeting you specifically—reaching and intruding so eerily close that you’re almost convinced that they’re actually touching you. You cower in their presence, squirming and sinking deeper and deeper into Jimin’s hold as you make your way down the path.

Beads of cold sweat began to assert their own path down your forehead—heart ricocheting against the walls of your chest, straining the cords of your throat because of your never-ending shouts and shrieks of terror upon terror. Your whole body was convulsing and shivering without fault, even when accompanied by the body heat of the man next to you, the harsh lighting of the overhead lights, and the lack of ventilation in this shoddy tent proved to be no match against your bodily functions that were going completely haywire. If you were an Amazon package, you would have a large ‘Caution: Handle With Care’ sign slapped right onto the box.

The pea-sized amount of pride that remains within you is the only thing stopping you from completely losing your shit.

Jimin's laughter—airy and unwavering, tickling the shell of your ear was the only thing keeping you grounded, serving as a constant reminder that at the very least when you might have lost all your pride and composure, you still had him by your side.

Without much forethought, he continues to lay kisses along your temple, clutching you close to his chest and keeping you upright as your knees constantly buckled under the weight of your looming fear, crumbling composure, and the grisly clowns that were most definitely preying on your downfall.

The ten-minute duration—which to you, had felt like a whole lifetime-and-a-half had finally come to a close. Once you were able to discern what you thought was the exit of the tent—the small opening leading to what had looked like signs of civilization, you booked it without hesitation, hastily tugging Jimin with you to the point where he nearly tramples over his own feet and crashes to the floor due to the sheer and sudden force.

You two finally pass through the exit. Feeling as if you had just ran a timed mile in five minutes, your body caves immediately—hunching over, briskly bringing your hands to your knees to support your deteriorating physiological state. The sound of your heavy breathing gets disrupted by Jimin’s laughter. You stand up, straightening yourself out when you realize that other people were starting to make their way towards the exit too, and you two were clearly blocking the way out.

Jimin takes you by the wrist and swiftly pulls you aside as more people start to trickle out of the tent. You two lean against the metal fence, comfortably silent as he lets you catch your breath.

You huff out, taking deep exhales as you speak, "Holy fuck, what even was that?"

"The funniest thing I have ever seen," he shoots back with a smile, slightly breathless as well.

You blink rapidly, body slumping against the fence, still completely cynical and disbelieving in what you had experienced. Biting the inside of your cheek so hard you're pretty sure you left teeth marks, you wipe your sweat with the hem of your sleeve.

"You okay?" he asks softly, closing the gap in between the two of you.

You nod, affirming your composure in hopes that it would solidify it for real. Giving him a smile to ease the nerves you knew he had, you visibly saw his smile widen, and with that, you ruffle his hair, take his hand into your own, and walk a few steps forward before announcing brazenly into the chilly autumn wind,

"Drop zone time."

"Y/N PLEASE—!"

"Don't do this, anything else but this please." He pleads, lips jutting out while childishly tugging on your sleeve.

You groan, "Bub, we had a deal."

He presses his lip together, "I know... but just look at that! How does that even look remotely safe enough for one to ride?" He tries to reason with you, staring up at the attraction that he believes should not even be labeled as an 'attraction' in the first place.

You chuckle softly, shaking your head, "If it was that much of a safety hazard, it wouldn't even exist Chim."

"I will never understand why people ride this out of enjoyment and pleasure. This is insane," he says, his eyes trailing to the long line of people behind the two of you.

"It's three seconds, I swear. Three seconds compared to my ten minutes of cussing and wanting to punch a clown in the face is very reasonable in my opinion. You’ll be just fine, I’ll hold your hand the whole time," you add on.

He quietly freezes in place—eyes fixated on the tower, hands leaving the fabric of your sweater. You feel his warm hand come in contact with yours, the back of his hand grazing your knuckles. Lacing your fingers in between his, he meets your eyes, giving you a timid, lopsided grin. A silent affirmation that had said more than words could’ve. I trust you but I’m still scared shitless.

“You guys are next,” the worker announces, opening the gate and gesturing you two to come inside. Jimin’s smile dissipates, face contorting into a look of mortification at the man’s words—eyes widening to the size of what would be considered as utter shock and lips curling into a form of disgust.

Tugging lightly at his hand, he whips his head towards you, waiting to speak until you two have passed the gate, “Y/N, I’m literally gonna piss my pants like I’m not even joking.”

“Jimin!” you say in a hushed yell, “Please don’t, I know your pride is too precious to you for you to annihilate it by pissing on a ride that even kids go on.”

He scoffs, “Okay fine… but we’re getting churros after this.”

Your brows furrow in confusion, smiling at his tone, “Why would I argue against churros?”

“Hello, miss? Come this way, please,” another worker greets, leading the two of you to two vacant spots of the ride where you presume were going to be yours.

You nod, making your way towards the two seats, hearing Jimin splutter incoherent words and sounds from behind your shoulder.

He immediately plops into the innermost spot, refusing to be on the outermost seat that only had one accompanying seat on one side, albeit it truly didn’t matter. And of course, you don’t tell him that.

Smiling at his overt signs of apprehension, you slide into the spot next to him, beginning to put on the seatbelt over your lap.

Drumming his fingers on his knees, he already has his seatbelt buckled and his over-the-shoulder restraints locked and secured into place.

“Ugh, can these things go any tighter! I can still move under here,” he tuts, vigorously trying to push the restraints closer to his body, yet his attempts are proven to be in vain.

“Bub, they still want you to be able to breathe,” you remind him with a small giggle, your head popping out of the U-shaped bar to look over at him—his brows knit in concentration, nose scrunched, lips tucked into his mouth.

In a final attempt, you hear the man beside you take a sharp and deep inhale, only to hear a tiny click emit from the restraint shortly afterward.

He releases his bated breath, only to come to the realization that he can’t extend his stomach all the way forward, the bar forcing it to come short. He splutters, bringing his hand to cover his face while he coughs only to realize that his arm can’t fully reach around the bar to meet his face.

You watch this entire scene unfold out in front of you—wishing you could do something to help the poor guy, but you already knew your attempts would be pointless in the end as your arms are physically incapable of extending that far. You sink back into your seat to make sure he doesn’t see the fact that you were trying so hard not to laugh.

“Jimin, deep breaths, in and out,” you instruct him as the worker starts to make their rounds around the ride, double-checking for seatbelts and secured restraints.

“Y/N, that’s the problem, I can’t.”

“Try scooting back into your seat,” the worker suggests to Jimin, giving him an empathetic smile.

“What do you mean–oh, erm, thank you.”

She nods, shaking Jimin’s restraint a little more energetically to reassure the man of his safety.

As she leaves, he says to you, “Y/N, I can’t believe you convinced me to go on this.”

“Me too, honestly. I’m really proud of you Chim.” You admit, reaching out a hand towards him in which he takes.

“Three seconds, right?” He reiterates.

“Give or take, yeah.”

“Y/N—!”

Your seats suddenly clatter, signaling the start of your long ascent. Jimin’s grip on your hand tightens substantially, causing you to groan out in pain.

He quickly takes note of the noise, loosening his grip ever so slightly, “Oh my god, sor- oh fucking hell, there’s no going back now?!”

You chomp down on your bottom lip before another sound could escape your mouth—his grip on your hand tightening the higher you two go, “No, no you’re fine, it’s okay..”

“HOLY SHIT WHY ARE WE ALREADY THIS HIGH UP?!” He yelps, kicking his feet against the air—people’s heads starting to look as small as ants, the rest of the park coming into view as if you were experiencing it from a drone’s point of view.

“Dumbass, don’t look down!”

“It’s too late–what the hell, why can I see the whole damn city from here?!” He sticks his head out of his restraint, looking up and trying to find the top, “wHen the FUCK does this shit stop please, Y/N, I cAn’T do this?!?!”

“Chim. Breathe. Deep, steady breaths, okay?” You say while audibly taking breaths so he can do the same.

“Okay, okay,” he says, voice cracking but following suit.

After you think that he finally manages to get a grip on himself, you decide to try to take his mind off the situation at hand, “Jimin, look at the view.”

His breath softens as he begins to take in his surroundings. He could see everything. To him, it feels as if he had the city in the palm of his hand. The rollercoasters that reside next to the tower were practically reaching eye-level to him, and despite the lack of color due to the theme of the park, he thought it was mesmerizing anyway. He marvels at the fact that he could even see past the park—catching a glimpse of the cars zooming on the main highway, minute specks of light emitting from the windows of skyscrapers, people living in their own little worlds in each one, And of course, the envy of it all, the night sky—the dark depth littered with a multitude of stars in their own little patterns and worlds of their own as well.

The overhead speakers trumpet, ripping Jimin out of his trance-like state, “Welcome to the drop zone brave newcomers. I hope you’ve had an enjoyable trip on the way up here. And I hope that your descent is just as enjoyable as well. We will be dropping in... “

Jimin heaves out, “Now that’s just plain rude at this point.”

“Ten.”

“Are you okay?”

He scoffs. “What kind of question is that Y/N?!”

“Nine.”

“Jimin, you’ll be just fine,” You reassure for the umpteenth time.

“I swear if this is longer than three seconds–”

“Eight.”

He frantically kicks the air. “Fucking hell! I can’t believe I’m doing this right now, I miss the ground.”

“Seven.”

“We’ll be back down to earth sooner than you think, I’m telling you.”

“Six.”

“Oh my fucking god, oh my fuck–!”

“Five.”

“Oh fuck, holy shit–!”

“Jimin, I’ll be right beside you–”

“Four.”

“–the whole way.”

“OH MY FUCKING GOD?!”

“Thre–!”

Before the countdown can finish, you two plummet, plunging down at great speeds—a feral-sounding squawk leaving Jimin’s lips when it all happens.

He squeezes his eyes shut, refusing to see what was going on—letting go of your hand, he opts to hold onto the other handlebar on the restraint instead. His breath is caught in his throat, the ride is moving so fast that he can’t even produce any noise, let alone move his body.

Just like you have been saying this whole night, the ride ends in a blink of an eye. Or more specifically, three seconds, give or take.

Jimin slumps in his seat—fingers still curled so tightly around the handlebars that his knuckles turn pale.

You stick your head out of your restraint, craning your neck to look at him beside you, “Jimin, it’s done, it’s over.”

“Are you sure?” He mumbles.

“Open your eyes.”

His head slowly rises, eyes remaining shut. Cracking one eye slightly open, he loosens his grip on the handlebars before opening his eyes and letting out a deep sigh of relief.

"That wasn't so bad, right?" You beam, waiting for the restraints to be lifted.

"I wouldn't know, I had my eyes closed the whole time," he shyly admits, lifting the restraint off of him and unbuckling his seatbelt.

You two jump out of your seats, heading towards the gate and bidding the drop tower goodbye, juxtaposing afterthoughts lingering in the air.

"That felt so weird, I don't know if I wasn't able to move or if there wasn't enough time for me to react," he chuckles dryly while twining his hand with yours once again.

You smile, "Probably a little bit of both," you suggest, eyes scanning the park for any signs of a churro stand, "but hey, you survived!"

He smiles at that, teeth out and all, "We both did," he assures earnestly, "and now as an incentive, we are getting churros."

Your eyes light up—the sight of the bright neon sign being the next destination of the night. Jimin notices your sudden reaction, quickly looking in the same direction as you and pinpointing the small churro stand from afar.

To your luck, the line isn't very long—people are most likely preoccupied with the multitude of attractions that are only going to be available for this appropriate time of the year, taking advantage of the opportunity before having to wait for an entire year before getting to experience it all over again. But you and Jimin weren't like most people, and you two strongly believed that churros should be indulged in at any time during any situation. And right now, it was being utilized as a form of consolation, just in the shape of a deep-fried pastry sprinkled with cinnamon sugar.

After obtaining your consolation desserts, you two resume your journey around the park. Too preoccupied indulging in your churro, you’re temporarily able to block out the commotion that was occurring around you, keeping four out of five senses focused on said churro and churro only.

“You feel better?” You ask, taking a brief moment to dust off all the cinnamon and sugar off the corners of your mouth.

“Mmhmph,” he incoherently mumbles, after shoving half a churro into his mouth. He abruptly pauses, cheeks puffed up and eyes wide, realizing he can’t talk and instead he nods with a grin as wide as his mouth would allow him to stretch out.

You giggle at his actions, taking your focus off of him to take another bite.

A few moments later, when most of your churros noticeably nowhere to be seen, you ask, “Where should we go next?”

He cinches his brows together, “We probably shouldn’t go on anything to extreme, considering we just ate. How about the ferris wheel?” He suggests, pointing to the attraction that was standing in front of the two of you.

You nod, “You’re right, these workers already go through enough. And we shouldn’t add cleaning vomit to the list.”

He chuckles, “Agreed. Let’s go, the line is pretty short!” He exclaims jubilantly, flashing you a mega-watt grin while pulling you along with him towards the gated entrance.

Leaning against the gate, you two wait for the round of riders that were currently riding to finish, mindlessly scrolling on your phones to pass the time.

The gate entrance opens, tearing your focus off of your phone and back to reality. The enormous and dazzling neon wheel that stood boldly enveloped your vision in replacement of your dim and dark-mode setted phone screen, making you blink a few times to adjust to its harsh hues.

One of the carts comes to a halt, doors releasing as the group of friends inside it begin to grab their belongings and head out. The worker in charge motions you to step inside after they leave, the two of you following suit. When you two become situated and seated, they press a few buttons on their control panel, the doors promptly swinging close. A few brief seconds after, the cart jolts before moving just enough so the other people behind you could board onto the next cart.

The carts reminded you of the teacup ride at Disneyland—built in a circular shape, seats lined around the border with a small gap made for the entrance door, but of course, it was void of steering wheels in the middle. Now that would just be a recipe for disaster, and a solid segue into Jimin vomiting all over you.

He nudges your leg, “It’s so funny to me.”

You turn to him, “What is?”

“Out of all things to do while being here, and we’re riding the ferris wheel,” he beams, a light chuckle leaving his lips, “I don’t know whether to pity us or not.”

“All my pride has left me already and I’m okay with it,” you tut, lips unwillingly curling upward as you replayed the scenes of what had happened earlier at the drop zone, “I wouldn’t talk too much if I were you Mr. ‘I’m gonna piss my pants.” You tease, poking him in the side.

He scoffs, squirming slightly where you poked him, “I am still proud of myself, I didn’t think I was gonna make it up there.”

You turn away, holding in your laughter, “I didn’t think you were either.”

“Hey! Don’t even get me started on you,” he says, nose scrunching and brows furrowing, “those poor clowns were about to get their noses punched in if it wasn’t for me being there. I think your screams and threats were starting to scare them more than they were scaring me.” He fires back, giggles erupting in his throat and interrupting his words.

“I’m not even gonna argue against that. We are so sad,” you say—laughter flaring up in your chest as well, the two of you keeling over so hard the cart begins to swing back and forth.

“Woah! Woah! Woah! Easy there,” Jimin yelps as you two take notice of the movement and immediately cease your actions, hands grabbing the ends of the cart to try to stabilize it.

Just as your cart has moved up enough for you to start seeing an overhead view of the park, he whips his phone out before saying, “Lemme take a picture of you, the view is so nice here.”

As he whips out his phone, you scoot to the other end of the cart as he brings his phone up to his face and focuses it on you. Naturally, you bring your hand up, hand changing to a trademark peace sign as you flashed a smile for the camera. He brings his phone down many lock screen worthy pictures later, happy with the result evident from the grin etched onto his face.

“Your turn,” you say, motioning you two switch spots as you take your phone out of your pocket.

Jimin, infuriatingly photogenic, simply sits while staring off into the distance, jaw on full display as you begin to rapidly snap pictures. Hearing your camera clicks he changes his position—turning towards you as the chilly wind blows through his hair, eyes crinkling and dazzling smile on full display that you can’t help but smile at the familiar yet all too breathtaking sight.

Placing your phone in your lap, you scoot closer to him—leaning your back against his shoulder, you prop your legs up onto the seats. Turning towards you, he snakes his arms around your waist as his chest comes in contact with your back. You let yourself sink deeper into his grasp, conforming into his body as warmth spreads to your fingertips. Your head lulls back, falling into the space right below his collarbones as you stroke the back of his hands gingerly with the pad of your thumbs. He rests his chin on top of your head, the two of you simply admiring the view below.

The ride still hasn’t started—people still boarding the ride as the carts momentarily halt and move from time to time.

Not long after, your cart reaches the very top.

Head peering over the edge, he turns back, “See, why did we have to go on the drop tower when we could’ve went here instead,” he grumbles, the peak of the tower standing nearly just as tall as the highest point of the ferris wheel to the point where you could stare directly ahead of you without tilting your head.

“Well that takes all the fun out of it,” you tease, making him frown, “Hey! You keep forgetting what you made me go through before that. Don’t think I’ve gotten over it that quickly.”

Looking displeased at your answer, he quirks a brow, “You seemed to be fine when we were riding the tower.”

“What can I say, you make a very good distraction.”

“I think I could say the same for you,” he proposes, “I swear I saw some of those clowns turn away and start laughing every time you threatened them. I was like ‘Yes! That’s my feisty girlfriend!” he cheers, pumping his fists into the air. You cower down in embarrassment, grinning to yourself while trying to swat his arm away.

“I feel so burned out already though,” you say, head falling back into his chest, “I think it’s ‘cause we’re here at night.”

“And because you track-starred your way through that entire maze,” he adds.

“That too.”

“I feel it too, we did more walking than anything else to be honest.” He says, which is very much true. The drop tower was all the way on the other side of the park and the churro stand took you guys a whole twenty minutes just to find.

You hum, “Should we head out after this then?”

He rests his cheek on top of your head, “Yeah, if you want to.”

“I feel bad though, it feels like we just got here,” you admit, chuckling into his arm.

He shakes his head, hands reaching over to play with the ends of your hair, “Don’t feel bad, I think we’re still hungover because of midterms. And besides, I’m hungry and I don’t wanna eat a ten dollar hotdog after just eating a stale ten dollar churro.”

“Yeah, we can just eat one dollar ramen, we’re still college students above everything.”

And you truly couldn’t argue with that. “Of course.”

Taking your hands off of his, you prop a hand onto the cart to sit yourself up onto the seats. He releases his hold on you, his arms returning back to his sides as the warmth of your body dissipates to his dismay.

You adjust your sitting position so you could face him—reaching out to take one of his hands into your own. Your eyes bore into his, gazing into the pools of honey that were his irises. The view is slightly obscured as his eyes crinkle.

He smiles, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

You don’t even register that he’s speaking to you until he leans in slightly, his features starting to appear bigger as he starts to close the gap between you two. You shake your head once he gets so close in proximity that you could see each crinkle that etches themself on the sides of his eyes each time he grins.

Your eyes flicker to his lips, taking notice of the action as you quickly revert back to his eyes. He smirks

“Thank you for taking me here,” you say as your eyes intently gaze into his once more, “above all the trepidation we’ve put each other through tonight, at least we’re here together.”

He nods, gratitude evident without him having to utter a single word. It’s as if time is frozen, everything around you stagnant and still, eyes boring into each other because nothing could just quite compare to this. Not even the surreal view of the city or the ability to see all the bustle within the amusement park or even the stars that littered the sky.

You press your lips against his. Although you initiated the action, the sensation of his lips against yours, regardless of how natural, sends a flurry of shockwaves down your spine. Your body tingles—as if you’re floating and the cart you were sitting on wasn’t even there to support you.

And he kisses you back. His lips are warm, welcoming, and comforting—like wrapping yourself in your favorite blanket in the comforts of your bed, the indescribable bliss as the fabric consumes your body and runs over your skin.

Kissing him felt even more blissful than that.

The kiss isn’t fervent, but it’s full of longing. It’s as if he’s communicating to you, through the way his lips mesh against yours, that he plans on making up for all the lost time. Time that could’ve been spent doing things like kissing you, loving you wholeheartedly and unashamedly, was spent pining for each other with the label of being ‘best friends’ standing in the way for far too long. He wants to make up for it just as much as you do.

He slides his hand under the crevice of your knee, pulling you closer to him as he continues to kiss you. You bring your hand up to his neck, entangling your fingers into his hair as you lightly scratched at the surface of his scalp.

He kisses you like he’ll never get to again, which isn’t completely false—the fact that you two were so high up in the air to the point where the stars look tangible, basking in each other’s presence and each other’s presence only.

Frustrated at the abnormal layout of the seating, he hooks his arms under your legs—hoisting you up and placing you in his lap so you were straddling him—incognizant of how the cart was starting to dip due to the unequal distribution of weight.

The gesture makes you squeak, and you can start to feel him smile against your lips. Before you could do anything else, the cart totters—rocking a few times before moving, signaling that the ferris wheel is finally beginning its journey.

“Oh fuck—!”

“Oh shit—!”

The two of you immediately detach from each other as you take notice of the unbalance, hurriedly leaping onto opposite sides of the cart while gripping onto the sides for dear life, the cart rocking back and forth at a concerning extent. You sneak glances at each other, your faces painted with the same expression of shock and distress.

Seconds pass and the cart steadies—laughter instantaneously taking over the two of you.

“I think that’s our cue to leave,” he says, a little breathless while his body hunched over his seat.

“Remind me the next time we kiss to check if we’re less than a foot above the ground first,” you tease, playfully swatting his knee.

He grabs your hand, pressing a kiss onto your knuckles before shaking your intertwined hands up in the air—obnoxiously shouting into the frigid autumn wind, “Yes chief!”

MASTERLIST

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