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sillylotrpolls · 9 hours ago

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Normally in these results posts I include some interesting/amusing analysis of the results, but as seen in yesterday's post I'm not really feeling it this week.

Instead, let's talk about something else interesting that happened with this post: it was my first experience with Tumblr's Blaze platform!

A whole bunch of information about that below the cut. ( @staff, if you're reading this, I have some ~burning~ questions for you. 😁)

I'm not sure if anyone noticed, but much to my surprise this poll was blazed on November 5th courtesy of @katco-cereal, who runs @silmarils-for-breakfast. They thought the poll was funny and had a free blaze thanks to Tumblr's new ad-free -> premium system, so why not?

What happens when your post is blazed

When someone else blazes a post of yours, you get a notification in your activity feed as well as an email. However, I first noticed because the poll had a little "fire" icon right above the notes.

So, if a post of yours gets blazed, you'll definitely know about it so long as you check tumblr and/or your email regularly.

Clicking the icon got me this notification:

As you can see, anyone can blaze a post as long as your blog settings permit it and it passes moderation. However, if you blaze someone else's post they might choose to "extinguish" the campaign before it starts or is over. If this happens, you don't get a refund or your free monthly blaze campaign returned. So, be sure the original poster isn't going to be upset at being blazed or else be comfortable being out the princely sum of $10 (or however much you spent).

Why you might want to check before blazing a post

I was touched that someone found my poll funny enough to reblog, but there is a reason I might still have extinguished the campaign early: you can't edit a blazed post while it's blazing.

Obviously you already can't edit polls (a fact I approve of, actually), but I do often go back and add context to posts or links or just fix a typo or whatever. Even adding a new tag would have required ending the campaign first.

This makes sense! The post has been through moderation, and it would be a huge loophole if you could submit something unobjectionable, like Gollum singing about how he likes it raw and wriggling, and then edit the post to feature hardcore Gandalf/Balrog porn after the campaign starts. But it's something you should be aware of before blazing.

The report and how to interpret it

Here's a copy of the report I was emailed after the campaign ended. It was sent pretty quickly; clearly Tumblr puts some effort into providing a good experience for users willing to actually give them money unlike the vast majority of us.

Something I have frequently lamented while running this blog is the lack of detailed stats. In particular, I would love a time-stamped breakdown of votes, so I can see exactly when a certain option took off or how getting reblogged by a certain popular blog affected things. With this report I still don't have that, but I did get some impressions stats.

As it happens, I have experience marketing and running ads on other social media platforms (mostly Twitter (RIP) and LinkedIn), so I had no trouble interpreting this. If you don't have that specific experience, however, let me break it down for you.

About impressions

According to the report, I got 3,677 impressions, 277 of which were "earned." An impression is when someone sees your post. Or, more accurately, an impression is when Tumblr puts a post on someone's dash. It's entirely possible for Tumblr to do that but for users not to actually see the post because they have some sort of ad-block in place. How exactly a platform determines if a post was seen is generally kept secret in hopes of preventing exploitation.

An "earned" impression in this context means someone saw the poll because it was blazed and decided to reblog it. Then, additional users saw their reblog. Those additional users seeing it are the "earned" impressions. Same for the other stats in this report.

Note that this report is only for impressions and other stats related to the blazed version of the post. If you saw this poll because you follow @sillylotrpolls or because someone who does reblogged it, that impression is not counted in this report.

Something else to notice is that the campaign promised that the post would be shown to "at least 2500 users." Why not make that exactly 2500 users? A few reasons come to mind. This is educated speculation as I do not work for Tumblr, but it's very likely a combination of:

Not being able to be 100% certain each user actually saw the post for above ad-blocker reasons (or if their dash just glitched for whatever reason, or the power went out as they were scrolling, or whatever).

The blaze system lags in counting how many impressions have already been served, so it's simpler to just show the post extra times rather than constantly checking to see if the count is at 2500 yet.

It's marketing technique meant to make users feel good about choosing Blaze because Tumblr is being generous with the impressions (which is fine to feel! there is nothing wrong with appreciating something nice!)

Votes = impressions?

Finally on the topic of impressions, one thing I really love about running polls is that they are a good proxy for measuring impressions without an ad campaign. When you scroll through your dash, you probably vote in most of the polls, right? Even the ones you don't like or reblog? (Actually, now that I'm saying it, I realize I'm not sure and would dearly love some stats on this.)

If you look at literally any poll on this blog, you'll see the number of votes is much higher than the number of notes. Since each user can only vote in a poll once, it makes a good estimate for how many people saw your post even if they didn't otherwise interact with it.

On the other hand, sometimes I have a poll that gets very few votes compared to other polls posted in that same time-frame. When that happens, it's probably not that I'm getting less impressions, since I can generally assume about the same number of followers are seeing each of those posts. Instead, it's much more likely that people just didn't want to vote on that particular poll.

A good example is this poll on dwarfism. I know it got at least 85 impressions, because it got that many votes, but generally other polls that didn't do well in that month got at least 200 votes or so. So votes can be a quick proxy for a proper impression count, but you have to be aware of complicating factors.

What about those other stats?

An engagement means someone interacted with the post. This includes clicks, follows, shares, replies, reblogs, and likes. It does not include votes.

A click means a user clicked on a link in your post. This is an important measurement in most "real" campaigns because you make the post trying to get people to click a link to the page selling your product or whatever. If there's no link (as was the case here), this stat will be zero no matter what.

A follow is pretty self-explanatory, but I will mention it can be difficult to capture all follows as a result of a campaign, especially if a user has turned off tracking cookies. If a user follows directly from the blazed post, of course that will be captured in the report. But what if a user sees the blazed post, then goes to check out the blog and see if they like it before deciding to follow? Depending on how the system is set up, that may or may not be reflected in the report.

The other stats I'm guessing you're familiar with if you use tumblr in any capacity at all. XD Once again, "earned" means the engagement happened on a post that was reblogged by a user who saw the post in blazed format. Interesting to me was the high ratio of reblogs to likes in the report. I'd have to see reports from additional campaigns to have any insight into whether that's common for blazed posts or specific to this one, however.

Something else I'm curious about is if any of these engagements are "hidden" in the notes until after the campaign ends. It's not going to be noticeable with reblogs or likes unless you're very meticulous, but I noticed right off that the number of replies the poll theoretically had (6) wasn't matching the number of replies I could see in the notes (4).

Usually if there's a mismatch like that I would assume it's because either I have a user blocked or visa versa, but that shouldn't be possible on my own blog, right? And if I go to check now, there are indeed the number of replies the notes say there should be, and they're timestamped Nov 5. So, I guess they were hidden? But I have no idea at all why that would be, as it would require extra code to make that happen, right? Very odd.

Is blazing a post a good idea?

Sure, if you like a post and want it to get more attention, why not? Just be sure the author (if not you) is cool with it and doesn't have plans to edit that post. However, it's also the case that a good post will probably spread around Tumblr anyway.

If I were making the call and had a set budget to work with, I'd blaze under some combination of the following circumstances:

The source blog doesn't have very many followers so the post isn't likely to be seen otherwise

The source blog has followers, but the post to be blazed would be popular with an audience beyond the typical demographics of those existing followers

Getting only a few clicks is enough to justify the cost of the campaign

Getting the post in front of users, regardless of any engagements, is enough to justify the cost of the campaign

In this case, Katco had a free blaze to burn (heh) and it was worth it to them to share the post with no potential personal return simply because they thought the post was funny and should be shared. And as a bonus, we got to learn about the Blaze process together, which was neat.

Generally, just keep your expectations realistic and remember it's only Tumblr, after all. $10 to have a little fun is perfectly justifiable if it brings you joy.

Okay, fine, a LITTLE bit of poll analysis

I said I didn't want to dig into the results, but I think we can all agree that "The monarchy is fine, but city-states like Rivendell aren't" getting 0.3% of the vote while "City-states are fine, but Galadriel should face re-election every 500 years" got 10.2% is pretty interesting, right? Can we get a Political Science major in here to dive into that result?

And how about the notion that monarchies are great so long as you like the guy in charge (17.2%)? And yeah, the Shire has democracy, but it's limited and both Merry and Pippin are part of aristocratic lines and inherit (not earn) positions of power...

Apparently even when I'm depressed, I just can't help but be interested in data. It is a sickness gift.

Finally, I'll leave you with these tags from @narcissusneverknewme:

#honestly this is a case of 'any system can fall to corruption'#our government sucks not bc it's a democracy but because its corrupt at every level of governance#lol#the bureaucracy and the fact they can just lie to citizens and do horrible harm. like red hill#or flint mi#this wouldn't happen under aragorn#not bc he's a king but bc he isn't corrupt

#results #commentary #1000+ votes #politics #mixed results #long results post #like SUPER long #poll craft explained #advertising campaigns explained #tumblr blaze explained

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ordowrites · 2 days ago

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Can I request something Diluc x wife/husband reader scenario?? Pretty please. Domestic routine at the end of the day (cuddling and kissing)👉🏻👈🏻🥺

hello! certainly. i love myself some fluff!

cw: established relationship, gn!reader, domesticity, fluff, mdni, minors dni, blank and empty blogs dni, flirting, mild insinuations, domesticity as intimacy.

He is so pretty, you think as you watch him move about the room, his muscles taught and stretching as he slowly strips out of his day clothes, every inch of his skin revealed to you like a gift unwrapped every single night. Of course, you don't tell him this out loud because he will fluster and get a bit shy, clearing his throat and push the compliment right back at you without even a second thought.

You think it's cute that he gets shy when he's compliment, it's a far cry from the man he presents himself to be.

"Want me to brush your hair before you go to bed?" You ask from where you sit on the bed, book in your lap and candlelight flickering on your skin.

The groan he releases as he stretches makes you bite your lower lip a bit. This man.

Diluc grabs the brush from the vanity, you meet his eyes within the reflection as he picks it up and strides back towards you. You both know that he can certainly do his own hair, but it's something you've come to love doing, morning and night, because of how soft and thick his hair is, how he seems to relax and let down his guard.

And it also allows you to admire his muscles and scars up close.

When he quietly presents the brush to you, he sits down and you maneuver so you're sitting behind him, on the edge of the bed and slowly start to run the brush through his hair. It's a quiet affair, one that feels so deeply intimate yet not quite. Despite how in love the two of you are, it had taken him quite a long time to get used to you touching him.

Once you're done with that, you run his fingers through the soft strands, massaging his scalp, working it into a braid for the night. The whole thing takes longer than it should, but he doesn't say anything and you don't quite want to stop. Afterwards, he climbs into bed next to you, wrapping his arm around your waist as he pulls you close and presses his lips against yours.

One kiss to your lips and more follow, along your cheeks, forehead, and a few bites down your neck. Of course, you're not one to only just take and take, you kiss back. Gently, gingerly, sweetly - you tease sometimes.

Beneath his shell, you have learned, is a man starved for affection and attention. And you're happy to give all those things and more to him.

"Good night, my love." He breathes against your ear, breath hot and tickling.

"Good night, Diluc."

#diluc x you #diluc x y/n #diluc x reader #diluc x gender neutral reader #genshin x y/n #genshin x gn reader #genshin x you #genshin x reader #diluc imagines #diluc #reader insert #gn reader #x reader #gender neutral reader #ordo.txt #genshin.txt #genshin fanfic #diluc.txt #anon quests

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pjsk-hot-takes · 18 hours ago

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I don't think this is going to be a "hot take" per se but... Long time Vocaloid fan here (first song was "Last Night, Good Night" if that gives you an indication haha), but I genuinely enjoy pretty near all of Project Sekai! I enjoy how they've done the Vocaloids, how different they all are and how they embody different parts of vocaloid songs and the interpretations of the voice banks' personalities, and by extension, the fandom. While ProSekai can't cover ALL of the niches, I think they've got a decent variety. And while in another world I would love to have ALL vocaloids (or voice banks, whether by crypton or no) as characters, I understand why they just kept it to just Miku and co. I enjoy the characters made for ProSekai, whether main or side. I enjoy seeing how they have grown, how they will grow, and how they interact with not just their own groups, but with the world around them. I also enjoy the side characters, and how they also have their own struggles, and how, whether they be a good or bad person moral-wise, they add a lot of flavour and background to the main characters stories and struggles. I enjoy our main characters personalities. Yes, all of them, even if I wasn't as big of a fan at first of some, I've come to grow to like all of them. I also have found myself relating to all of them in some way or another. Whether it be Nene and her desire to do better despite her stage fright in the beginning and pushing through and learning from the critique of what she considers to be her strongest quality, or Ena and her struggle with her art, or Minori trying her absolute best and proving to not just others, but herself, that she can achieve her dreams and she can, indeed, be an idol that spreads hope (just for a couple of examples). Plus their singing! Sure, not every song may be a banger, but I enjoy listening to both the vocaloid and sekai versions of songs. I can't wait to see where the story takes them, especially since a lot of things have gone down as of late. Both in JP and ENG. I enjoy the gameplay and the art! First time playing a rhythm game that does piano-style, but I've been enjoying getting better at the game and playing with others. And the art has been lovely and I like seeing the themes and motifs that have been integrated into not just each set, but each character's card. Whether you choose to just enjoy it on a surface level of just being pretty, or if you choose to look further in to try to glean more, I find that it's a pleasant experience regardless. I know there's a lot of stuff going on in the fandom, and obviously not everything is perfect. Some events, cards, songs, and other media have been, well, cause of controversy, and I can completely understand why. There's also other things that can be improved, and as always, there are many different opinions as to how things can improve/be fixed. But I also think they have tackled some issues very well, and hopefully they can continue to try to do so. To conclude, I'm having a great time watching others create and enjoy the world that Colopale (and by extension Sega) have created. Hope you all have a great day, and thank you for making this blog! It's been interesting to see the many takes here, whether I agree with them or no.

#pjsk #project sekai #prsk #fandom take #game take #event take

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melancoley · 2 days ago

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WHAT MOVES THE WORLD

SYNOPSIS: when you’re born into a burning house, you think the entire world is on fire – that was kakashi’s reality. always surrounded by fragments of war, kakashi grew up with only the purpose of surviving beating in his heart. for him, nothing else existed in the world but war – that was kakashi’s philosophy. until you showed up. and, like spring, you came with the promise of hope and warmth and ended up bringing an inevitable change that would forever alter the life, and heart, of hatake kakashi.

PAIRING: hatake kakashi x gn!reader WORD COUNT: 5.811.

TAGS: soulmate!au, strangers to lover(s), fast-paced, unrequited love, kinda miscommunication. angst, fluff, hurt/no-comfort. CONTENT: gloomy kid kakashi. confused young-adult kakashi. heartbroken adult kakashi. shinobi reader. you are full of life & love talking to kakashi. conversations about stars, wars & love. he is the captain of your team one time.

WARNINGS: mention of sakumo's death but nothing explicit. you are going to break kakashi's heart, so be ready.

COLE'S NOTE: hiii, miss me? ♡ so !! this fic was originally a request and i posted this on my previous blog - if it sounds familiar, maybe u read the old version: ‘war & love’. i did some changes here and there to turn ur reading more pleasant and i hope i did a good job lol also !!! someone made one fanart based on this fic - if u know them/saw the fanart, please tell me so i can link it and give them the attention they deserve. ok, that's all ♡ have fun breaking hearts ♡

Not all stories are happy.

Not all soulmates are reciprocal.

Not all people could change their destiny.

Of course, in a perfect world, one person’s soulmate would also be another person’s soulmate. But reality went far beyond fairy tales and, as such, not all soulmates were mutual – and a person only knew their destiny when it was too late.

For years, people woke up with words tattooed on their wrists. They were simple, small words, just for the purpose of summarizing people’s love lives with their true love.

There were the luckier ones who woke up with little ‘fulfilled’ or ‘happily ever after’ on their wrists after their wedding. There were also those who had little ‘close call’ or ‘don’t try again’ written on their wrists on the coldest nights. And there were also those that read painfully ‘not destined’ or even ‘maybe in a next life’ that caused an inexplicable burning in the eyes of those who received such words. There were those who liked it, there were those who didn’t mind a mere tattoo and there were also those who did everything to force a soulmate into their lives.

The reality is that a person’s tattoo was already inscribed on them from the moment their soul found a body, always wanting to arrive at the right time to make itself noticed. And that was why no one could change their destiny.

But none of that matter. None of that mattered one bit to Kakashi. Because he only had one thing in mind: becoming strong and reliable. Kakashi didn’t care about dating or romance. Kakashi just wanted to do his duty as a shinobi.

But, of course, no matter how much he didn’t want to know, no matter how much he showed he didn’t want to know, his father was always attentive to him, always wanting to make him even minimally interested in the subject. After all, parents only wanted the best for their children.

And that was why Sakumo forced Kakashi to sit next to him on that cold, foggy morning.

“Kakashi, there is beauty in the midst of all this chaos.”

Sakumo’s voice was lost amid the fog, a phrase of pure harmony and delicacy trying to find its way in the thick maze of clouds and trees that invaded the territory.

There was a pause.

Kakashi didn’t deign to respond – he knew perfectly well where this conversation would end, he knew perfectly well what awaited him.

“The world is not driven by war alone.”

“Dad…”

Kakashi let a long and monotonous sigh escape his small lips, muffled by the dark mask, trapped inside the fabric without being able to show his total dissatisfaction.

“Not again. I have class in a bit.”

Kakashi stood up carefully and a little hesitantly. The truth is he didn’t want to leave his father alone. Kakashi didn’t want to abandon him once again at the mercy of fairy tales that did nothing but deceive a person.

However, Sakumo gave him no other choice. The cheap repetition of stories and princesses and kings became tiring – there was no longer any surprise in his father’s speech, there was no longer any hope for Kakashi.

As such, he was determined to abandon his father sooner than expected, his little feet taking short, uncertain steps to get away from his father, to get away from yet another unwanted conversation.

“Kakashi, why do you think there is war?”

Kakashi stopped his step with some abruptness.

That simple question from Sakumo echoed strongly inside Kakashi’s head, causing small dizziness in his mind where several possible answers appeared without any invitation, assaulting the little child’s sanity, making him question everything.

Why does war exist?

Of course, the main answer focused on people’s inability to be able to communicate with each other. There was also that need to come out and show their disgusting egos – that is the second answer to that question.

But there was something more.

There had to be something more.

People didn’t start wars just because they were bored.

…

Right?

Throughout his small and short existence, Kakashi has lived in a world of war and from an early age he was trained and taught to live and survive amidst so much devastation and anguish. Kakashi’s entire existence was shaped around the thick and aggressive sphere of what moved the world – war.

Would he have to know why?

In reality, Kakashi didn’t care if someone wanted to conquer the world, or if someone was kidnapped or killed unleashing days and months and years of pure destruction. Kakashi only had the mission to fight the war – that was all that mattered. Now the reason?

“I don’t care. Certainly the origin of all wars has an illogical basis. I have to stop the war. I don’t need to know why it started.”

Sakumo smiled and let his son go on his way, slowly losing sight of him as he began to be consumed by the fog.

Sakumo’s lips formed a perfect smile, a smile that left a trail of sadness with it because he knew perfectly well what was going to happen that day – Sakumo couldn’t really smile, not when he knew the end was near.

But there was something else hidden in his smile.

No matter how loud the voices screamed in his mind, the reality was that Sakumo feared for his son. Sakumo feared that Kakashi would never experience the beautiful pleasures of love as he himself had once experienced.

And there was nothing to do. There was nothing to do when Kakashi only focused on the human intellect. There was nothing to do when Kakashi purposely denied all the emotions that moved the world. There was simply nothing to do.

And Sakumo kept smiling.

His cold fingers gently stroked a small ‘there will be more in the next life’ that was fading due to the passage of time.

Several memories of a short and intense love began to haunt him in such a way that Sakumo didn’t even notice when the sadness on his lips turned into hope.

That hadn’t been the last life with his beloved – Sakumo knew that.

Then, muttering the answer to the question he himself asked his son, Sakumo stood up as well.

He knew perfectly well that there would be a second chance for his love. He knew perfectly well that Kakashi would realize the reality of the world they lived in. He knew perfectly well that everything would end well.

After all, there has never been a war without love.

Kakashi had lost everything.

There was nothing left for someone so young.

At fourteen, Kakashi’s entire life fell apart before his own eyes. Without family or friends, without anyone who could support him, he had lost everything – including his way in this world. Kakashi was wandering through the days, lost on the path of life, with no knowledge of maps or no guides that could help him.

Kakashi had lost everything, until he gained a new friendship, a new hope.

You appeared with the arrival of spring. Uncertain and always encouraging steps, an enormous desire for knowledge to be noticed in the intense shine of your sweet eyes, and wide smiles enchanting anyone.

You brought with you the breath of fresh air that prevailed at that time of year. Your feet encouraged so many beautiful flowers to bloom, new lives were created by you, new paths were drawn by your bare feet. The innocence of someone who had not yet experienced the evils of the world painted your smile with an extra tenderness that gave your cheekbones small splashes of the passion that the sun felt for you.

That spring day, when Kakashi saw you leaning over a hollow log, you carried something more than pure curiosity and amusement in your fingertips. You brought with you the hope of a new life for Kakashi, a hope that was felt by him when he, very clumsily, stopped you from rolling with the log to the bottom of the cliff.

Quickly, like someone blowing a leaf, something formed between you. A friendship? Probably. It was hard to be sure with Kakashi. But whatever you and he shared, you both knew it was something unique, something true.

A new stage in both of your lives was discovered in the other’s presence, a vast and longing wave of feelings beginning to form in you.

There was complicity between the both of you.

Since your first meeting next to that log, you and Kakashi shared an enviable complicity. Each one understood the other without the need to exchange words. A simple look, a simple sign, was enough for one to be understood by the other.

Days were spent together. Little secrets were exchanged amidst laughter and sighs, two distinct lives were soaked in pure melancholy, drenched in an extreme longing for a long-lost past.

And your adolescence has never looked so beautiful in the eyes of others.

Before you knew it, you and Kakashi have reached adulthood. And what used to be so simple and natural now seemed complicated with so many glances and hidden smiles and that hint of desire that clung to every word you exchanged.

Quickly, like someone forming a smile, beyond that very natural friendship, something more emerged between you. Something deeper began to emerge between the two of you.

“I don’t understand people’s admiration for the stars.”

You stretched a little as you sat next to Kakashi, the red blanket you always carried protecting you from the cold wind of that autumn night. “It’s something that has existed since the beginning of time. There are maps and photographs of them everywhere. Why the fascination?”

“It’s like war.”

The rest of your team rested silently on the ground, wrapped and cozy by a small fire starting by you, the tranquility of a successful mission being noted by their deep and steady breaths.

You and Kakashi were relaxing on one of the many branches of the most colorful and sturdy tree near your camp, your vision completely focused on the vast starry sky and the faint line of the horizon painted by the small mountains covered in snow.

There was silence on the ground and there was silence in the tree branches.

The breeze had been encouraged by several clouds venturing along unknown paths, giving you a little privacy on that very welcoming night. The moon was small, gaining strength for a more special date, slowly feeding on the desire of the most melancholy people who wrote to her. Every animal in the forest slept near you, the heat of the fire that crackled so loudly convincing the most diverse living beings to truly rest that night – except you and Kakashi.

“The war?”

You couldn’t contain the laughter that formed inside you, a sound so melodious and innocent that it woke up nature itself for a brief moment. The breeze had returned to you only to take with it the pure sound you released, keeping among the various clouds and stars the memory of your innocent question and laugh.

“How does the fascination of the stars compare to the war?”

“Humans can’t live without them.”

Kakashi was leaning against the trunk reading one of his typical books. None of his words were of the slightest interest. His uncovered eye cautiously read each line of the book. And he just waited for an answer. He waited for your curiosity. He waited for you.

“My dear Kakashi, I live well without both. Does that make me non-human?”

Kakashi let a long, amused sigh escape his lips and grab the echo of your new laugh. By closing the book and adopting a posture more favorable to a conversation, Kakashi let his movements continue over time.

The relaxing crackle of the fire calmly accompanied your team captain’s gestures as you fixed your eyes on Kakashi in the vain hope of encouraging him to speak or, at the very least, to hurry up.

However, there was no rush in Kakashi’s movements – all the time he took to sit next to you and stare at the stars seemed like an eternity to you.

But finally, Kakashi spoke.

“Of course you live well without both. But would you be the same person you are if they didn’t exist? Would you be complete if they didn’t exist?”

“Are you insinuating that we humans need to have stars and wars to be real?”

It seemed like an outrage. What Kakashi had just insinuated to you seemed to be wrapped in a thick layer of blasphemy and nonsense. The indignation at those words was reflected in the way you looked at the various leaves that framed Kakashi in an ethereal casing of change.

What was once a peaceful setting has now become a stage for nature. Strong winds and thick clouds slowly began to appear, hoping they could continue listening to Kakashi’s thoughts. Small nocturnal birds greeted you shyly with sweet and tender melodies that spread through the sleeping forest and made you smile.

“It’s what moves us.”

“I’m sorry,” you let out a fake laugh as you composed yourself on the tree branch.

You turned to Kakashi and focused your attention on his relaxed posture. Curiosity was caught in your eyes, and an eagerness to prolong that conversation could be seen in the way you so firmly and enthusiastically pronounced the words. “But I still don’t follow your reasoning.”

“A’right, let’s go step by step.”

“Please.”

Kakashi let out a small, almost inaudible laugh at your tender plea.

His eyes were now resting on your very curious posture: your arms adjusted the red blanket to also shelter Kakashi on that cold night; your eyes sparkled with the enthusiasm of yet another conversation with your best friend; your smile warmed Kakashi more than any blanket or fire could do.

“The stars, yea? We all know that since ancient times they have been the cause of all happiness and pain for people. People in ancient civilizations worshiped the stars as gods and saw in them countless stories and life lessons. And the very own people of those civilizations used the stars and their positions for agriculture and to make decisions. Are you following?”

“Yes, professor.”

You let out another laugh as you placed your legs over Kakashi’s and gently slid closer to him. The night was getting cold, the fire was on the ground and all you had was a red blanket and Kakashi.

And how he thanked all the gods for wearing a mask and for the moon being lazy that night. For, the pink tone he quickly adopted when he felt you so close to him only revealed how much he was waiting for that action of yours.

“So…”

A brief moment of silence followed after Kakashi’s statement.

Your captain’s reasoning was lost with your innocent act. It was a simple, affectionate gesture, something that had been repeated so many times. And, like every other time, Kakashi simply lost any coordination – the feeling of having you so close to him was fantastic, almost magical.

Thus, a brief moment of silence followed as Kakashi tried to find the thread of his thought, as Kakashi tried to grasp that thread without losing the very welcoming feeling of having you close to him.

“So,” he repeated again, his posture always relaxed and carefree, the mask being the perfect hiding place for his rosy face. “People adopted these little habits from their ancestors and that’s why there are so many people who still marvel at the stars. Of course, all romantics are also enchanted by them.”

“Why?”

Pause. Silence. Contemplation.

Why? In fact, that was always the question you asked. That was always the question that made sense to ask. Indeed, why?

Kakashi stared at the stars, trying to understand why. You stared at Kakashi, waiting for him to answer why.

But the answer never came. The answer never showed up and beautified your ears with sweet justifications and immaculate logic. For, realizing that there really wasn’t a defined reason for that question, Kakashi continued his reasoning.

Your captain’s voice was drawn out and always monotonous as if it were perpetually stuck in a timbre that conveyed a vast sense of comfort.

And you listened carefully to every word Kakashi said. You listened attentively to everything he had to say, always trying hard to follow his thoughts.

“Now the war.”

Kakashi paused briefly and took a deep breath.

A sigh that seemed to be filled with tiredness escaped his lips without realizing it – the memories of conversations he had with his father were felt at that exact moment. And they weighed. They weighed so much.

“War has always existed. Since the beginning of humanity there has been war. No wars, no humans. It is in our condition as human beings – it is our need. We crave destruction. We seek chaos. It’s in us. We need war to move us. Because, quite simply, we are the war. Without it, what would we do? Who would we be? That’s why there is fascination with it. That’s why there’s so much admiration. War is the stars of the most political. And the stars are the war of the most romantic.”

“So, by that logic, love is the war of the most philosophical.”

Kakashi looked at you with confusion expressed in his eye. The various and infinite stars reflected in Kakashi’s gaze showed that, in fact, he had not understood the use of your words.

Why did you decide to grab love out of nowhere?

Why did you decide to bring that taboo into the middle of a conversation that was so special to both of you?

Why?

You noticed the confusion in Kakashi’s lack of reaction. You realized that there must be doubt in your captain’s thoughts. Looking at Kakashi, it was easy to decipher the confusion he felt and you were intrigued, fascinated even.

“Do you really think that it is only war that moves the world?”

Kakashi opened his mouth but you didn’t know.

Kakashi closed his mouth again and you didn’t even notice.

In your captain’s mind, that last conversation he had with his father began to replay endlessly. Sakumo’s words came up whenever that dangerous topic was brought up – it seemed that Sakumo’s cheap philosophies tormented Kakashi until that day.

But it wasn’t always like that – no.

From the moment Kakashi met you, Sakumo’s haunting finally ceased.

There was no need to understand love because, quite simply, and even though he didn’t know it, Kakashi was experiencing that feeling so strong, so true. There was no need to recall a conversation that tried to explain something he was feeling, even though he couldn’t decipher that specific something.

Therefore, for several years, Sakumo’s words that were imbued with understanding and affection had been forgotten, completely erased from Kakashi’s memory.

No. Wrong. The words were still there, safe, inside Kakashi’s heart.

And it only took your question, your question so similar to Sakumo’s question, to free the words and torment Kakashi again.

“Kashi?”

You let out a laugh.

Kakashi certainly knew there was something more than war. He positively knew that not everything was destruction or contempt in this world. He had to know there was beauty and hope. He had to know that there was something good in this world. Kakashi had to know all this – right?

“Love?”

The word burned in Kakashi’s mouth, his melancholic eye locked in your eyes, the reflection of the universe trapped in your fingertips.

“Love.”

Your response came with a real, genuine smile. Your eyes showed a light and tenuous sadness while a tiny hope threatened to collapse at any moment.

You spoke like love itself. Delicate and light, your lips pronounced that word with precision and extreme ease.

You spoke like love itself. Your smile was genuine and embellished by the infinite stars, painted by the cool night breeze. Your eyes were sad, scared and fearful of the drastic change of an event, of a feeling.

You spoke like love itself. You spoke in a mix of emotions that were foreign to Kakashi, a thick ball of feelings and memories was trapped in your expression and made Kakashi feel confused.

You spoke like love itself, but Kakashi could only speak like war.

Kakashi spoke like war itself. Without any feeling, afraid of what his lips could utter, scared of the strength of the word itself.

Kakashi spoke like war itself. His every word and thought was completely calculated by him, no mistake to be uttered by Kakashi, the doubt that escaped his lips bringing a bit of wisdom.

Kakashi spoke like war itself. Kakashi spoke knowing perfectly well what awaited him, he spoke knowing perfectly well the answer to his question.

And between war and love there was a brief moment of silence. A moment of tranquility brought by the infinite stars.

Between war and love there was a moment of serenity that was heard only by your careful breathing, your gaze locked on each other, your smile slowly fading as time passed.

Love.

Was that the answer to his father’s question? No. It couldn’t be something so simple like that – but there was no such thing as simplicity in love.

“Love.”

Kakashi said his statement again, allowing a fragile and invisible line to escape his mask and take with it the bruning of that word.

There was something comforting in your gaze, something soothing in the way you held the blanket tight to you. There was something serene in the way you rested your legs on Kakashi’s, something welcoming in the way you and him stood together under that starry sky.

“Love” – Kakashi never found it easier to pronounce that word.

Days without you were boring.

Everyone knew that whenever you were on a mission without being on Kakashi’s team, he would roam the streets of the village like he used to do before he met you. Everyone knew that, for Kakashi, days without you simply didn’t make sense, not when you and he had already become fully accustomed to each other’s presence.

And that day wasn’t much different from the others.

Kakashi walked through the streets calmly. His feet shuffled without any energy, one of his hands sheltered in his pants pocket, the other holding a book close to his face.

Kakashi didn’t pay attention to what he was reading or where he was walking. Having already read and reread that book so many times, having already walked those streets countless times, Kakashi didn’t need to pay attention – because something else occupied his mind.

Your mission was somewhat complicated and you left with a good team, yes. But Kakashi couldn’t trust them, not when your integrity could be at risk – Kakashi could only worry about you.

A melancholy trail was left by Kakashi’s short and relaxed steps.

His eyes read and reread the same page over and over as his mind wandered to so many possible scenarios that could happen to you.

How he hated being away from you at a scary time like that.

Kakashi had been your team captain enough times for him to know you knew how to take care of yourself. But you were also distracted and that was what bothered Kakashi. A distraction from you, an ambush from them, a misfortune from the universe – everything seemed plausible when he was away from you.

He just wanted to be with you, to hear from you, to know that you were okay. He had to be with you.

But regardless of whether or not you managed to get home safe and sound, Kakashi spent his days monotonously without you by his side.

Even though Guy continued to make his occasional appearances, enticing Kakashi into meaningless duels; even though Naruto and Sakura could fill a fragment of the void you created; even though he knew you would be back next week, the reality is that Kakashi simply couldn’t live the days in your absence.

Not since that night under the starry sky. Not when the confession of a love came out disguised in a novice and somewhat shaky pronunciation.

What could Kakashi do? Just wandering around the village without your company. Just wishing every day was shorter than the last. Just peacefully wait for your arrival.

“Today I received my words!”

Naruto was always so loud.

Kakashi lazily looked up from his book and watched Naruto talk excitedly to Sakura and Shikamaru. The smiles they shared with each other were big, contagious, as if enticing Kakashi to also let out a small smile.

“Hinata is my soulmate!”

“I got mine during the war. It was Ino who noticed,” Sakura let out a small laugh as she recalled her chaotic reactions when she discovered that Sasuke was, in fact, the man the universe had destined for her. “What about you, Shikamaru?”

“Nothin’.”

A small sigh escaped Shikamaru’s lips and brought with it the hope of not having to worry about a soulmate anytime soon.

“What about you, Kakashi-sensei?”

“I don’t pay attention to that.”

A shrug was enough to direct the conversation back to Shikamaru.

But Kakashi kept thinking. Without realizing it, all the younger’s’ speeches were obstructed with the thought that, perhaps, Kakashi had already received his words.

It was true that Kakashi avoided looking at his wrist – since that night, the mere thought of love scared him.

Once, Kakashi simply didn’t care about something as trivial as love. The mere thought of such a feeling brought only haunting of long, uninteresting conversations with his father. But now, after that night, there was fear in the feeling. There was an extra fear that burned in Kakashi’s heart when he allowed himself the luxury of thinking about something as dangerous as love.

Ever since that night, the mere thought of love scared Kakashi because, quite simply, Kakashi couldn’t imagine that word without picturing you.

And Kakashi blamed you. Yes, you. You were the bringer of Kakashi’s destruction. Because, since that night, Kakashi really started to see the world differently. And he blamed you. He blamed that word. He blamed all the stars.

But had any mark already been engraved on his wrist?

Leaving conversations and laughter behind, Kakashi returned home.

A single goal was stuck in his mind. A single need ran through his heart. A single feeling moved Kakashi. Love.

The four walls of Kakashi’s room had never felt as cozy as they did at that moment.

It was the end of the day.

The last rays of sunlight were lost in Kakashi’s room. Shades of gold and hope burned fiercely in the three frames that rested delicately on his little furniture. Your face and Kakashi’s were adorned with light celestial tones from the last ray of sunlight, enhancing the joy and comfort that that photograph brought to Kakashi.

Night fell so quickly that it didn’t even give the sun a chance to warm Kakashi’s room.

It was cold.

The proud and bright moon contrasted with the weakness of that night, the stars taking the night off to give the various and diverse clouds their turn to shine.

There was darkness and there was cold.

In the midst of that discomfort, Kakashi looked for some warmth in his wrists.

His right wrist had nothing on it – the pale skin brought a bit of disappointment to him.

But there was still hope. There was still a second chance.

Cautiously taking off his left glove, Kakashi saw a single word shining in the moonlight.

‘Almost’.

Almost?

Kakashi’s mouth opened slightly on impulse as his eyes repeatedly read and reread that single word that was carved into his wrist.

How long had it been there? How long ago did fate decide to steal you from him? Almost? Why ‘almost’? Hadn’t his confession that night been enough for you? Wouldn’t the vulnerability with which he uttered and repeated that forbidden word have been enough for both of you? Almost. Almost? Why? Could he have done something? Could he have done nothing?

A wave of corruption completely washed away any and all hope Kakashi might have had. The curiosity that once drove Kakashi’s gestures was entirely replaced by regret and frustration.

Could he go back? Could he do something to change that word?

Surely if you arrived and he confessed everything he wanted and felt for you, maybe you would reciprocate his words.

No. Not ‘maybe’. Kakashi was sure there was reciprocity. That night left no doubt. The way you two spoke, the way you looked at each other, the way you pronounced the forbidden word.

Yes. There was definitely still a little hope, even if it was small. And Kakashi knew, as years of war had taught him, that hope would always be the last to die. Surely the same applied to love. Right? – you said it yourself: love is the war of the most philosophical.

Yes. Hope.

‘Almost’ wasn’t the word Kakashi had chosen to dictate his fate, no. It was ‘hope’.

Clinging to that small flame that had quickly lit in Kakashi’s heart, he watched the remaining days pass slowly and wistfully.

Kakashi just wanted you to come back as soon as possible. He just wanted to cheat fate once and for all and grab the happiness he had been so deprived of. Would it be too much to ask?

‘Almost’. Pathetic.

‘Almost’. Of course it wasn’t almost – Kakashi would never allow it to be ‘almost’.

And when you arrived, Kakashi carried the war with him – he was determined to change his destiny, even though he was scared. There was determination in his steps, Kakashi’s eyes so empty conveying a bit of uncertainty, of fear, of regret in actions he should have done long ago.

Waiting for you for so long only gave Kakashi permission to think, to ponder all the opportunities that were missed by him in fear of a confession made of decent words – he could make a list of all the waste that was lost.

The ‘almost’ was right.

Years passed – Kakashi should have known better. He had so many books about it, he should have known better. It wasn’t enough to just say a complicated word. It was not enough to just feel a complex feeling. Kakashi had to show – and Kakashi never showed.

But now Kakashi was determined to change that. Kakashi was determined to change his destiny.

Just like war, Kakashi came to you without any warning.

Just like war, Kakashi caught you unnoticed in a spontaneous embrace of longing and nostalgia. It was rare for Kakashi to express his love, but you couldn’t deny that it was something that always made you smile.

You hugged Kakashi back, your arms fitting perfectly around his body, the way his strong arms squeezed you in a comforting embrace making you more relaxed. Although you had already arrived at the village two days ago, it was at that moment that you truly felt at home.

“How’s the mission?”

That wasn’t the question Kakashi wanted to ask – it wasn’t what he had rehearsed.

But you started a long, drawn-out monologue about all the ups and downs of that mission that lasted almost two weeks. A rollercoaster of emotions was reported by you as Kakashi listened attentively to every word out of your mouth.

And, while he listened to you, he looked intently at your arms.

Kakashi’s empty eyes searched for tattoos made by the stars. The curiosity to know your fate was what moved Kakashi’s eyes and forced him to look at your body.

Until finally he saw it.

‘It was close’.

It was close?

What absurd words had fate given you? It didn’t make sense.

Was it close that you didn’t end up with Kakashi? Was it close that you fell into someone else’s love trap? What did those words mean? What did they mean in a vast sea of possibilities?

“And I got my tattoo on the way here.”

You extended your arm and gave Kakashi permission to read your mark better.

‘It was close’.

“I was confused by what it meant. But it made sense when I found…”

“Him?”

Him.

Kakashi knew who you were talking about.

You didn’t need to confess names or draw portraits with your words. Kakashi always knew who you were talking about, because he was the one you loved before you met Kakashi, and he was the one you loved during the early days of your friendship with Kakashi.

“Yea.”

The smile you let out reminded Kakashi of love: shy and so happy, a hint of accomplishment displayed in the beautiful curves of your lips, a sense of comfort trapped in your confession.

Love.

Damn you.

“He walk with me to the village and is staying here. Today we’re going to our first date.”

And that’s when Kakashi realized – no one could change their destiny.

With a fake smile and forced curiosity, Kakashi allowed you to nail long, painful barbs into his heart, erasing any hope he still had left, completely staining the forbidden word for Kakashi.

With a fake smile and tears trapped in his eyes, Kakashi allowed your happiness to flood his darkness, little stars of your joy faintly painting Kakashi’s pain.

Because, yes. Despite everything, Kakashi was happy.

Even though he would be happier with you, Kakashi was happy for you.

You overflowed with love.

Extreme happiness wrapped in a film of euphoria delicately filled your room. Your eyes shone with the emotion of a love about to be lived. Your wide smile managed to be contagious, even though Kakashi didn’t want to smile.

You were the embodiment of love.

You were hope and comfort from the first day he met you and he hated you for it.

Kakashi hated you because he knew he would never be able to find someone who had as much of an impact as you did. He would never be able to find someone who made the word ‘love’ mean as much as you did.

It was the way you spoke so happily about each other. It was the way you still cared about Kakashi like you still liked him. It was your own way of being.

You were kindness and simplicity hidden behind a strong sphere of complexity.

You were, undeniably, love.

And the conversation that night never made as much sense as it did at that moment.

In Kakashi’s realization, in the midst of all the suffering caused by you, you continued to move Kakashi. The way you still made Kakashi eager to see you. The way your company was still, and always would be, crucial to Kakashi. The way he still loved you after you caused him so much anguish.

You have always been the personification of the word love. And, just like the feeling itself, it was you who moved Kakashi’s world.

♡ feedback is always welcomed ♡

#ㅤ⋮ naruto ₊˚ᰔ. .ᐟ #kakashi x reader #kakashi x you #kakashi x y/n #kakashi #hatake kakashi #kakashi imagine #kakashi fanfiction #kakashi hatake #kakashi fanfic #kakashi headcanons #kakashi imagines #kakashi fluff #kakashi headcanon

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ask-aph-hws-iceland · 3 days ago

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[OOC: hello again! Paiko here! So, there's been a bunch more ask blog drama these past few days, so I thought I'd give a very friendly reminder of some other unspoken (that at this point should be spoken) rules of having an ask blog.

Alright, uhm, can we all agree as a community to avoid having very heavy historical topics play a part in our blogs? I know a lot of us are huge history nerds which is absolutely fantastic, but let's keep in mind that hetalia is very silly and unserious, so it might not be in very good taste to portray a serious topic in a very goofy medium. It just doesn't sit quite well. Now, a lot of people may wonder if what they're doing can be considered insensitive, well, a good way to know is listening to your followers. Respecting the people who read your blog is a very important part of having a good ask blog. If something isn't sitting well with a lot of people, maybe let's avoid it.

On that topic, having unique headcanons for your ask blog character (I've seen people call them muses too) is absolutely amazing and one hundred percent your right, however, you have to consider that hetalia, unlike countryballs or countryhumans, is not so versatile. People come into it with a specific expectation. Having our own unique headcanons is great, but there's a point where it strays so far that it's better to just make an original character or an 'OC'. I love seeing people's headcanons as it adds a lot of depth to the characters, but just because a pool is shallow that doesn't mean your shoes won't get wet if you step in it. All the hetalia characters could use more development which is what a lot of us do with our headcanons, but we have to accept that some people just won't like them.

Try to refrain from making headcanons about certain subjects if you're not entirely confident in your ability to portray them in a sensitive and respectful way. A lot of us suffer from things like weak vision, allergies, etcetera and it's very fun to get to put little parts of ourselves into our characters, but what gets tricky is portraying medical conditions we personally do not have. Things can get super insensitive very quickly, so it's really important to try and be mindful about these things. I've said before on my main blog that I really do not like bringing up topics of chronic illnesses because I personally do not suffer from one and I know that I'm not nearly educated enough to talk about someone else's experience. This doesn't only apply to physiological conditions. I know we all love our angst, but let's not trivialize mental health problems. It can be very upsetting to people who do suffer from these conditions. They have to see something that they know much more about than anyone should ever have to know. They are the ones who will have to see that, so again, let's try to be mindful.

If you get into trouble with any other blog or even another group of blogs, there are good ways to go about addressing these issues rather than just straight up fighting. I think I speak for a lot of blogs when I say that we'd like to keep this community relatively drama free. I'll let you in on a little secret, no matter how right you are about something, there will always be someone who just refuses to see things any other way. We have to start considering each other's thoughts when it comes to disagreements especially when it comes to fandom discourse. I'd hate for someone to be driven away from the fandom over a disagreement gone wrong. Remember, you're dealing with strangers here, let's try to keep things peaceful.

And that's about it for now, if any of these things apply to you, no worries, we're all working on bettering ourselves and it'll take time, patience and guidance, but it's worth an effort.

Alrighty! Bye!]

#hetalia ask blog #ask blog #hws ask blog

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every-sanji · 3 months ago

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#one piece #sanji #black leg sanji #everysanji #summit war saga #ch553 #ft. luffy #ft. zoro #ft. nami #ft. usopp #ft. chopper #ft. robin #ft. franky #ft. brook #thinking abt that one blog that is kinda going around rn does it hate/love women or whatever #and even tho as of queueing this i havent seen op on there i dont think you could do a hard and fast yes or no for op #since i think there are a number of women that are loved by the series and oda does actually give women diverse body types #and not all of the good women are stereotypically attractive (lola and charlotte come to mind whenever i think about this)#and a lot of the women do have established goals and wants and needs that are validated through the narrative #even pudding is a well written character tbh <- needs to reread wci dont ask me to go into details quite yet #but then you look at some of the other character designs. and how some characters do just fall flat #or arent well written. given that its such a long series though that is so expected and it holds up a lot better than say...#naruto. or bleach. in this regard but i wish we did get more fights with nami and robin sometimes u know.#i do really enjoy the ones we get and i'm excited to get back to wano for robin's fight with black maria #bc i did see some screencaps from that and ik fights arent the only thing to showcase a character's worth #but this is a shounen series so to some extent fights are a staple of the genre.#idk where im going with this its 10pm for me and i'm very tired t-t #i'm so lighthoused out. and they're redoing the roof on my house this week which is so augh

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autumnrory · 2 months ago

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i rmr when all the initial meta around endgame was coming out people were talking about steve being depressed and whatnot and it's like well yeah but he's BEEN depressed, like he woke up alone in this century and he kept going, now i can understand it being worse this time after finding a family and getting bucky back and losing them all except of course that's not why endgame steve was on about so like......the people writing meta were trying to connect these things that of course weren't really there on screen because that simply wasn't our steve

but i think it really could've been SO interesting to see this is the thing that finally makes steve stay down like he's lost so much and he just CAN'T keep fighting like i get some people think that's what they were going for but considering the ending......it's really not. and so i'm just thinking about a version after iw, maybe he gets some of the thor treatment except not turning his depression into a dumb fatphobic joke lol and maybe nat and others are trying to get through to him and it just doesn't work and then we get some flashbacks (which you could have done for all the original avengers actually which would be particularly important for bruce and nat and clint who did not have their own trilogies) including his mom telling him "you always stand up" and THAT being the thing to finally get him moving like it would've been such a perfect way to finally show sarah rogers some respect and ACTUALLY show steve really struggling instead of whatever they tried to do with him in that movie

#steve rogers #mcu #anti endgame #why am i still rewriting this movie five years later #really though i think i rmr just trying to work through it all #and a lot of the meta i was reblogging initially still wasn't really accurate to endgame or the rest of the mcu #like they were still making steggy more important than it canonically was while trying to explain why it was a bad ending #and it's kind of like you can say steve would respect that peggy had a life and wouldn't interfere with it but that's about it like #going on about how he DID love her so much and just wouldn't be selfish enough to do those things #or that she was soooo important to his moral compass (hence why so many fic writers had her telling him to go back to bucky lol insanity)#are just not accurate lmao i do think much as she may be rightfully disliked #while canonically he did not LOVE her he did respect her even if we think that's annoying bc she's an asshole to him in catfa #but yeah no he had a moral compass before her i understand what people were going for with the compass being symbolic but like....#any time she said anything did he listen? except for maybe when she told him he was meant for more? it really doesn't seem like it #nor did he need it! jesus! the whole point of catfa is he was chosen for a REASON he was already a good man #he did not need peggy 'sure i'll let nazis into shield' carter to teach him shit #but yeah it was bc i followed one stucky blog at the time who was reblogging a lot of good shit but a lot of that nonsensical shit too #and i was just reblogging it all bc everything sounded better than endgame #and i really did start seeing more of the discussions around peggy where her culpability in catws hadn't even occurred to me #bc i was so in fic from the beginning of joining fandom that not only was their relationship made as impt as stucky #it was also made out like what happened to shield was hurting her legacy and it's like...but she had to have at least SOME responsibility #and yeah eventually it's like okay no it's not just that steve wouldn't Do That it's also that they would've been a terrible couple #and not only would he not be so selfish but he wouldn't give up everything for HER lmao but he would've for bucky as was shown over and ove

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sunbunnyyy · 2 months ago

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i know i just got here, but seeing all of the laughably bad takes from both sides of the spectrum is convincing me that no, i don’t actually need to be on social media again.

#this is about mdzs fandom discourse #this is a jc/jiggy support blog #but #they did bad things and made bad choices and i love that about them #i can acknowledge their bad choices and their flaws and still like them #but hooooooly fuck #the jc/jiggy/XICHEN antis drive me fucking banana nut bonkers #there are valid reasons to dislike all 3 of those characters and somehow you have created ones that are so far from reality i cannot believe #that we read the same book #or watched the same shows #1. get some reading comprehension i beg you #2. for the love of fucking god please like. find some god damn joy in your lives and stop giving a fuck about characters you don’t like #2.5 and people who like characters you don’t like #2.75 and i know that’s kind of blasse of me to say in the tags of a post griping abt people griping abt characters they don’t like #3. just??? go find joy? touch grass?? not everything is about you and your terrible reading comprehension #4. stop assuming that your way is the right way #5. the puritanical bullshit of protagonist inherently good is really getting old #i am begging you to do any modicum of research into the concept of antiheroes #it will broaden your horizons i prommy #not everything is about blorbos being all good all the time #your blorbo is not free of sin #(unless it’s sizhui. sizhui is always free of sin)#anyway i think imma delete tumblr. the algorithm keeps showing me anti posts and im old and tired #no discourse here pls and thanks #moots dm for discord if u wanna

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mulletmitsuya · 9 months ago

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random tokrev rant ahead !!

when i first started this blog it was going to be for random shitposts, groupchats once in a while, and mostly tokrev analysis but i was so scared of discourse that i just chose to do the funnier stuff 😭. when tokrev was at it's peak i'd be reading 20k+ words of analysis and it was so fun!! but i felt like i couldn't word what i wanted to say properly so that discouraged me but i wish i'd ignored that because there would have been at least one person who understood what i was saying yk?

#anyway #i used to have a tagging system but i forgot so that's my bad #and the thing about discourse is that you could give a person all the canonical facts of the story and they'll still find a way to pretend #that they're right and i personally cannot handle that #i take things very seriously and someone thinking they won a argument when they didn't would make me rip my hair out #so maybe my blog not going into that direction was good for my metal health #i feel like fandom interactions always end up as fights for some reason #why can't two opinions co-exist #let's discuss and have fun why we gotta tell each other to kill ourselves😭#like i saw a very well thought out and written theory about sanzu having autism or something along those lines #and a comment was like “stop trying to give him excuses he's a terrible villain and he's just crazy blah blah blah”#whole time this person's an izana apologist #like😐#i love both these characters but a lot of characters in tokrev are more complicated than just a “crazy villain”#and it seems like they understand that about izana so????#ok i'm done now i hope you guys get what i mean #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers manga #tokrev

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ohhcinnybuns · 5 months ago

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Hi. It's me. I'm back at it again.

Today I'm thinking about a singer! Dazai and 'only there against his will to end his situationship' concertgoer Chuuya au.

For one song, be my Evangeline

Chuuya, a classic rock listener who prefers to stay at home and read books after a long day, receives a text from his situationship, Yuan, who pleads to him to attend an up-and-coming rockabilly concert with her and the rest of the sheep on Saturday night.

Chuuya doesn’t have to. He's not obligated to. Whatever he and Yuan have going on, he’s not putting his all into a half-made relationship. He hasn't shown much interest in her hobbies or likes after their initial flirty phase months ago, and he's starting to think he should run.

Situationships are just so confusing, and he can't tell if he likes her in the same way that she likes him anymore. She's clingy and bossy, thinking she has him under her clutches all the time when Chuuya is on the precipice of jumping ship.

Besides, the music doesn't fit his style. Why go to something that doesn't pique his interest? With a sigh, he mulls it over. This would be the perfect time to know if he and Yuan have anything in common or if their situationship is based on attraction. If it's not his scene, and she's not what he's looking for, he's high-tailing out of there. End of situationship.

Chuuya agrees to meet with Yuan and the rest of the Sheep, and Saturday arrives quickly.

Walking up to the venue, he is immediately pounced on by Yuan, and she gives Chuuya a VIP badge while the rest of the Sheep move to enter the venue.

Chuuya can feel a pit in his stomach because Yuan looks beautiful in her polka dot dress and retro pin-up bobbed hair. Chuuya looks like the most basic man possible with his plain white tee, black jeans, leather jacket, fedora, and Converse. They are on different pages, even in style, and it is clear to him that their relationship won't work immediately. Though for the slightest second, he's scared he will change his mind about her. He can appreciate beauty when he sees it.

That thought flies out the window when she opens her mouth to fangirl and squeal about the artist they'll see tonight, though. She twirls and gushes about the new up-and-coming artist Osamu Dazai and says that Chuuya should be jealous; he is all she can think about. She also mentioned that the VIP badge would let them meet Osamu later and is looking forward to it. She yaps about how sometimes, during the song "Evangeline," the spotlight will find someone from the VIP section, and he'll dedicate the song to them and how she wishes it was her, and yadda, yadda, yadda.

Chuuya zones her out the rest of the way to their booth, thinking of how to tell her he's not interested in whatever they are and to go home.

After several smaller artists and bands perform, the curtains rise for Osamu Dazai, who sits in a chair with a microphone, playing with it idly. His black suspenders dangle lazily from his dark denim jeans, and his white tee, tucked in, captures the ripples of his toned, bandaged body beneath. His bandages stop at the base of his neck and biceps, which make them nearly unseeable, but even in his drunken stupor, Chuuya can see through the mouthwatering tight-fitting shirt. Dazai's hair has been slicked back with a loose, wavy strand to frame his face, and his white and black sneakers complete his outfit.

Chuuya is slightly impressed by him because he looks a little pretty. Okay, maybe Dazai is a lot pretty. He'd never hidden his curiosity towards other men from anyone, and he wasn't about to now that there was a handsome, talented man before him, making him raise a brow.

Chuuya has had a couple of drinks and finally relaxed enough to enjoy the show. He'll worry about Yuan later. He’s stuck here, after all. He hasn’t had a moment with Yuan to let her down gently. So, he'll make the most of things.

The crowd cheers wildly, and Osamu takes a moment to talk and settle the crowd. At any sudden movement he makes, his fans roar intensely. Osamu laughs into the microphone, teasing his fans with a simple devilish smirk asking, "Did you miss me, Yokohama? I’ve been out searching for my Evangeline, are they here tonight?”

The crowd immediately goes wild as the music starts through the speakers. A spotlight comes on in an otherwise dark venue, and Chuuya can feel his muscles tense. What was that thing Yuan had mentioned that he zoned out again? Something, something spotlight, something, something song...

The spotlight looms over their booth, and Chuuya can feel himself internally hoping and praying it goes away. It doesn’t.

The bright beam rains down on him, his face shielded by his hat to hide his dumbstruck look. He can hear the gasps and wild screams of the girls around him.

He attempts to trade places with Yuan, but the light follows him, and he growls in annoyance, yelling profanities that are long lost in the sea of screams at the spotlight operator. He thought he heard Yuan scream into the crowd, "Wow, this has never happened before, Chuuya! You're so lucky!"

With a growl and defeated sigh, now that all eyes are on him, Chuuya finally looks back at the stage and locks gazes with Dazai, who is blinking at him stupidly. Wasn’t this part of the moron’s act? Why did he look shocked, too? That only made Chuuya want to start picking fights because the look on Dazai’s face annoyed him.

Suddenly, the simple idea of being serenaded by a man to a man hits them, and they just give each other a “never speak about this again, so get on with it” look even though it's being witnessed and recorded by thousands of fangirls. It’s not like things can get worse, right? Chuuya was too tipsy for this.

As Osamu Dazai begins his song, he motions his head to his bodyguard, Hirotsu, in Chuuya’s direction. He did have an act he followed. Hirotsu nods and makes his way to the booth, where he takes an animated Chuuya (against his will) to the stage. Chuuya hoped Hirotsu was there to toss him out of the venue and save him from embarrassment, but as he expected, it’s always a 'no' to wishful thinking.

Chuuya just about throws a fist at the old man in his drunken stupor but stops when he’s shoved on the stage next to Dazai, who leans down to him during the chorus with a warm smile,

So don't go to sleep, don't rest your head, I'll be the pillow, and I'll be the bed, holding your dreams as you lie to rest, Evangeline.

Chuuya was never one to be speechless, but even he couldn't fight the flutter of his heart at the tenderness behind the words, or the gentle way Osamu picked him up and pulled him close to sway to the ballad, a hand sliding into Chuuya’s hair to guide his head to rest against Osamu's broad shoulders. Dazai sings the rest of the song into Chuuya’s ear, making him flustered and struggle against the hold.

Anybody call a doctor, I'm a thousand degrees in love Oh, and I'm sick of all the guessing, between the two of us.

When he can’t break free, Chuuya groans in defeat and watches the way Osamu smirks down at him, and his legs turn to jelly. Was it the Osamu Dazai effect, or was it the alcohol speaking? He couldn't tell. Not that he was complaining. All the fight in him was gone, so he just listened to the soothing voice from above and held on to Osamu's white shirt so he wouldn't stumble while they swayed, the lyrics echoing back to them from the ocean of fans.

During the final chorus, Osamu finally lets go of Chuuya, bends down to one knee, and places a chaste kiss on his hand. Chuuya blushes and hurriedly uses his hat to cover his flushed cheeks from the crowd. He grumbles a clear "loser, don't do that again" to Dazai, who only laughs and finally lets him go.

Osamu leans into Chuuya's ear and tells him he'll see him later, which only makes Chuuya's heartbeat quicken in his ears. His brain was clearly not keeping up, and it took him a minute to realize that Osamu was playing with his VIP badge. Yeah, he forgot all about that, and yuan, the screaming fans, and everything else that wasn't Osamu Dazai.

As Chuuya is escorted off the stage, he glances back at Osamu, who keeps his eyes on his figure, making Chuuya shudder. There is a moment when Osamu looks down at his hands, thoughts running so quickly that no one can tell, but Chuuya can see it through his tipsy haze.

Osamu gives Chuuya a final innocent smile. He watches as Osamu lifts the microphone to his lips, and with a chuckle, he says, "My Evangeline sure is a handsome one tonight. A true inspiration for this next song..."

Chuuya walks away faster than ever before, realizing the next song is a love ballad, and he settles back in his seat, ignoring the jealous eyes of fans on him. He tips his fedora over his face and sinks into his spot, listening to the Sheep go on about how it was all caught on video and this moment will forever be memorable.

Chuuya groans and ignores them for the rest of the performance. When he goes backstage later, he's 100% going to kick Osamu Dazai's ass for the embarrassment and let him have it (in what way, he's not quite sure yet). Perhaps he'll also ask him for an autograph too because, above being fine, Osamu showed great talent, and Chuuya appreciated that.

In the meantime, though, he'll casually flip Osamu off anytime the singer so much as mentions anything to do with Evangeline and sends him flying glares from his seat every time they make eye contact as payback. Osamu's laugh echoes through the speakers each time, and Chuuya can't help but smirk back at their silly interaction. That'll show Osamu to pick Chuuya as his Evangeline.

Note: Wow, this got out of control really quickly. It was only supposed to be an idea...It's not what I had planned at all, but sure. LOL. Something a little stupid, fluffy, and sweet.

Update: Gave it a title. :)

Extras.

Chuuya does kick Dazai Osamu's ass backstage, but at video games. They drink, hang out, nearly kiss in their drunken haze, and decide this is the time to go HOME.

Chuuya asks for his autograph and a picture, to which Dazai agrees and writes his number on the back of a Polaroid. You know... Just in case.

Chuuya breaks up with his situationship because he's over it and much more interested in the butthead of a singer whose voice will haunt his dreams at night.

Inspirations

Dazai's song

youtube

Yuan's hairstyle

Dazai's fit (ish) - this was the closest representation I could find. I have 0 drawing skills, otherwise I would.

The closest representation of their pose when they take a picture backstage later.

#bungou stray dogs #singer dazai #homebody chuuya #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #can you tell i'm mad at Yuan?? Pff *facepalm*#I recently read the latest chapter drop to one of my favorite ao3 fics/authors #and Yuan was so... *insert Arthur balled fist meme here*#Nothing against the author I love her lol #I always think it's a good thing when authors can make you feel what the characters feel #but man I wanted to just rattle the heck out of their Yuan and give SKK their silly moments and happiness back lol #I've also been going down the 50's binge hole for some reason inspired by Stephen and Lana del Rey's playlists #so now we're here lol #I had to get it off my chest #blog fic I guess ?#alternate universe #no powers au #i'm also saving us from that tragic bsd chapter 115 guys #sweetening up your TL with ballads #SKK usual bickering #skk fanfic #bsd skk #skk au #soukoku #can you tell it was hard for me to call Dazai by his first name?#Like I'm not worthy ffs #au ideas #I love them in every form #even in dumb and dumber form #even in 50’s retro form

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