#1000+ votes

[sillylotrpolls]

Deepest apologies, everyone. While I do on occasion deliberately leave out popular choices, that was actually not my intention here. Rather, there was simply such an abundance of possibilities that I had to cut myself off from imagining even more and focus on choosing from among the ideas I already had.

Yes, "meat's back on the menu!" would have been a great choice, but - which option would you have removed to add it? "Kingsfoil" placed last with 3.7%, but among book readers was still quite popular judging by the comments and tags. So let's just say this was a case of me leaving the most popular/obvious choice off to give the others a fighting chance. :)

I don't think there's much to analyze here beyond being glad so many of you enjoyed this very silly poll, so I'll just note that yes, as of 2024 the Swedish Chef really has been in every Muppet movie to date, if only for very brief cameos.

Some of my favorite tags and comments from the notes:

@bloggingwithoutpants reforging Narsil#Like Elrond just kinda tosses the bits intk a bucket and hands them off#“TODEE WE FORGEE ANÜE DE SWERD THAT WAS BROKEE!”

@camgirlpanopticon It's important to me that you all know that in Sweden he's called the Norwegian chef

@maggiemayhemnj “verdeskuugen orc orc orc”

@selifator Looks like Swedish meatballs are back on the menu boys!

@chemistry-sherlock-whatever i genuinely thought that pelting tomatoes would be the pacific ocean of this poll

@smoothjazzdigit The prancing pony was my first thought but I realized the prancing pony HAS to be rowlf’s big scene. It’s a bar in a muppet movie, rowlf is legally obligated to be there

@bitterfucked everything galadriel down is very much a contender#but i really feel like you missed an opportunity#by not suggesting he replace the orc that really wants to eat merry and pippin#merry and pippin keep crawling away while he's prepping them#the same combat is ongoing and merry and pippin are very concerned about it#but the swedish chef uses it opportunistically ie disarming foes to use their sword to chop veggies etc#and the scene ends when he tries to grab a leaf from an ent as an ingredient and it bops him on the head knocking him out

And finally, two bonus Swedish Chef/LotR memes are below the cut. Please enjoy my simple photoshop photopea.com efforts, and feel most welcome and encouraged to share your own.

Getting back to serious topics today.

[cirrus-grey]

[yas-of-pacifico]

Congratulations fiddlestan fans!!!

[yourpalsalamander]

just a couple of girlies plotting propaganda

@kingprinceleo Silo (left)

Asha is mine on the right

@sonic-fankid-showdown 🤭🤭🤭

[lena-cant]

Hi Tumblr. I often like to bake sourdough bread.

Please reblog so it gets more votes etc.etc.

Below the cut is a few pictures of bread I've baked as proof that I know what I'm doing at least a little bit

[raygirlramblings]

If Raymesis loses you know Rayman will NEVER let him live it down XD

[dinogoofymutated]

Alright everybody!!! We are officially on the second prompt poll! If you missed the last one our winners were the promt Haunted Mansion, and the character Nightcrawler!

Sadly, that means he won't repeat in a character poll, but you'll be seeing him again soon! For this poll, we've got a whole Vampire vs. Were-something going on!! (I'm gonna be so sad if my favorite one doesn't win, but at least I have the redemption round!)

Prompt Three: Howling

Something has been spotted in the woods behind your house. You don’t believe any of the bullshit all these reporters and wannabe horror vloggers are pushing, all you know is that you really want them off your land. Until you have a personal encounter with this creature, that is. What is the thing that has seemingly moved into your neck of the woods, and does it have anything to do with your new neighbor?

Prompt Four: Bloody Halloween

A bat flies through your window one night, and although you're dreadfully afraid of rabies and scared to touch the little thing, it's in really bad shape and you can't stand by and just let it die. You spend the next few days nursing the little guy back to health, when one day he up and disappears. The next night you go out with your friends, and feel like you keep seeing a familiar pair of eyes in the crowd.

[modmad]

rgb GOOD BRITISH click EVIL BRITISH

nice try anon but WRONGO BONGO Hero is Good brit, RGB is Neutral

[fatherphaniel]

the funniest thing is that j2 has the least amount of votes out of the 4 ships in the semis

like obviously bc it's phan, mclennon and jedus but how did they think they had a chance😭😭

[itsyveinthesky]

1,000 days of war in Ukraine captured in images

[sillylotrpolls]

No surprises here. Everyone loves Sam, and "There's some good in this world..." is everyone's favorite quote by Sam. No wonder it took first place with 20.5%, and was probably all over your dash in motivational poster fashion besides.

"I wish it need not have happened..." came in second at 15.8%, which A) legit, I am also exhausted, and B) is actually indicative of the overall hope present here on Tumblr.

If you combine all the non-hopeful options, you get 15.8% + 7.8% + 1.8% + 14.2% = 39.6%. That's nowhere near a majority, and if we remove the votes by people sick of the quotes entirely, is only 29.6% of the total (15.8+7.8+1.8 / 100-14.2). Less than a third! Galadriel was absolutely right; hope does indeed remain.

If you take the time to peruse the ~1900 replies and comments (which, good lord, that's a lot for this blog), you can find many more messages of such hope, plus thankfulness for Tolkien and suggested quotes that didn't make it into the poll. Two of my favorites:

@thevillainofthisstory #i will be a healer and love all things that grow and are not barren#let us cross the River and in happier days let us dwell in fair Ithilien and there make a garden

@cleanfreakandshittyglasses #in place of a dark lord..you wOULD HAVE A QUEEN#not dark but beautiful and terrible as the dawn!!!#treacherous as the seas!!!#stronger than the foundations of the earthhh!!!#all shall love me and despairrrrr….

Not gonna lie, that second one hits especially hard given, you know. The possibilities. First woman US president when?

Last, I want to get into the performance of "If I see one more quote..." This option started at around ~10% of the vote, climbed to ~12% by day four, and eventually finished at 14.2%. That might not seem like a big difference, but as you may know if you pay any attention to the aftermath of an election, it's quite difficult to make up ground as votes are counted. A detailed explanation of how this works is under the cut below.

Let's say Blorbo and Shitto are both running for Mayor of the Shire. It's election day and the votes are being counted. When 1000 votes have been counted, Blorbo has 60% of the vote, because this is convenient math land (home of the friction-less plane and spherical cow!). Shitto has 40%, because in this example there are no third parties and no one left their ballot blank or filled in two bubbles or anything else.

Let's also say that 3000 votes total were cast in the election. It's the end of the day and the polls are closed, so the total number of votes is known. It's only the contents of those votes that's still being tallied.

The timeline then looks like this:

Zero votes counted Blorbo needs 1501 votes to win (50% + 1) Shitto needs 1501 votes to win (50% + 1)

Local hobbit reporters are hanging around polling places and doing exit interviews, but nothing is yet known.

1,000 votes counted Blorbo: 600 votes (60%) Shitto: 400 votes (40%)

Blorbo needs 901 more votes to win, ~45% of the remaining votes Shitto needs 1101 more votes to win, ~55% of the remaining votes

Shitto's campaign manager says "It doesn't matter; the votes from Buckland aren't even in yet!"

2,000 votes counted Blorbo: +500 = 1100 votes (55%) Shitto: +500 = 900 votes (45%)

Blorbo needs 401 more votes to win, ~40% of the remaining votes Shitto needs 601 more votes to win, ~60% of the remaining votes

Shitto's campaign manager says "We're trending in the right direction!"

All 3,000 votes counted Blorbo: +450 = 1550 votes (~52%) - WINNER Shitto: +550 = 1450 votes (~48%)

Shitto's campaign manager sends out text messages asking for donations to pay for a recount (that, mathematically, is extremely unlikely to succeed).

As you can see, once you have a deficit, it's extra-hard to gain ground in an election (or tumblr poll) where what matters is not the number of votes but the percentage of votes gotten. Given infinite time and votes, Shitto could potentially have pulled out the win, but there was a very finite number of votes cast with a very specific deadline.

Similarly, Tumblr polls may not have a cap on votes, but they do run for a limited amount of time. And when you reblog a poll for "awareness" or a "bigger sample size" or to try and propagandize in favor of your favorite, yes, you might get more votes for your preferred choice, but at the same time votes are still coming in for the other option(s).

Anyway, given the large number of votes (for one of my polls) and the clear pro-Tolkien leanings of most voters (who were also the most likely to see this poll), not to mention the 12-way race, it's actually very impressive that "If I see one more 'inspirational' Tolkien quote on my dash today I might hurl" made up as much ground as it did.

However - and this was not intentional, but you better believe I'm gonna remember it - at least some people who voted that they were sick of the quotes still reblogged the poll. They did so with a comment or tags that indicated their irritation, but - they still reblogged and shared the poll, spreading the inspirational quotes they themsleves were so sick of.

When I create poll options, I usually try to cover as many bases as I can (unless it's funnier not to). Frequently, I'll throw in an "other" as a catch-all. This is because I'm trying to capture the electorate (so to speak) as best I can and am genuinely interested in the results and what voters think. But, if I simply wanted a poll to spread as far as possible because I had delusions about the advantages of going "viral" on tumblr, there's clearly a case to be made for including an option that boils down to "actually, I hate this poll and everything about it." A hate reblog is still a reblog, after all.

Use this information as you will.

[bl-bracket]

Horny on Main Round 3: Lan Zhan (The Untamed) vs Wen Kexing (Word of Honor)

[Submitted Reasons Under Cut]

Lan Zhan: "Man realized sex with Wei Wuxian was an option and immediately thought of nothing else for over a decade, instituted an "every day means every day" policy the second he got his horny little hands on him"

Wen Kexing: "this man has a constant stream of consciousness centered entirely around his need to fuck zhou zishu and he will make it everyone’s problem. even when zhou zishu is dressed like a homeless man he’s still spouting poetry about his waist and flexibility and how pretty he is"

[sesamenom]

a few days ago i made a random poll on a sideblog and

help

[scramble-crossing]

It never ends well but we try so hard

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

sorry but frankie being the ONLY ONE at monster high who thinks cleo is Cool will never not be my fav headcanon

cleo LOOKS like she's the popular one-

the attitude! the presence! the outfit! the ambition! the kind heart and the CONFIDENCE!! But Canonically Speaking-

frankie's the one made from various famous monsters, hanging with the ghoul kids in school. THEY'RE the one crushing hard on the local organization nerd ("self-proclaimed party princess"),

cleo, miss Number One human enthusiast, who means well but isn't always the best at reading the mood or focusing on priorities

(all of werewolf weekend) (also "clawed and clawdeen?? thank ra my parents didn't name me nefra-een! ugh~!" smiles, realizes no one else is smiling, "...right not the time cleo.")

she WANTS more fame, but mainly spends her time setting up school events, talking with her scarabs, and is starting to tag along with the popular group sometimes

result is THIS

So whatever her song says, i headcanon the vibe in school is more like....

Random Monster High Student:

Oh Cleo? Nefera's little sister, the one who always plays a tree in school plays?

Yeah, she has the funniest, most TRAGIC picture in the fearbook- I hear she has to make herself sneeze all over again whenever she wants to get something at the Coffinbean!

She's head of the dance committee, right? They did a "human themed" dance night once, because of her. And didn't she also organize the after-pep-rally eyescream this year? I think I remember her asking me what flavor I wanted...

Her friends? Um well, she's got these scarabs that are kinds cute. She tags along with Clawdeen Wolf and Draculaura sometimes, but I'm pretty sure she wasn't at that wild Nightmore party the crew had at one of Drac's mansions.

Other than that...

Oh oh wait!

I've seen pics of her hanging out with Frankie, though!

You know Frankie Stein- tall, goes by they/them, wears pretty much nothing BUT school memorabilia, falls apart a lot

I think they built a robot instead of turning in a paper one time, and blank out when remembering something from one of their famous brain bits?

They've got like, bits from almost any amazing monster you could name in the last half century! Monster models, Scareisian monsters, ballet dancers, monster scientists, lawyers. Even a bit from a king of Goreway! They're pretty clumsy but I mean, they HAVE only been alive for less than a year...

They dorm with Drac and Clawdeen- those three are pretty much always a trio, except for fearleading practice and theater stuff.

And yeah, I guess I see them with Cleo pretty often. Frankie, that is.

They sit with her at the creepateria a lot!

Huh. The brilliant franken monster and the second-in-line, dramatic, wanna be queen... I mean, don't get me wrong, Cleo's really nice! And her outfit is AMAZING... Just... I wonder what they even have to talk about...?

meanwhile, Frankie, @ Cleo:

actual canon dialogue: "Any party you're in charge of is sure to be zaptacular! You're so good at parties, and planning things, and picking things, and ah... (flustered) ..making things nicer, and..."

cleo-> decides to sneak into the family tomb. frankie -> PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME PICK M-

also frankie: laughs way too long at cleo's lame pun, tells it it's a good one anyway

also also frankie: goes to cleo for help looking good in their fearbook picture, even though cleo's last photo was a disaster and is the whole reason frankie got nervous about theirs

also also also frankie: "Anything for you, Cleo!"

also also also also frankie, after cleo holds their face and compliments them:

Me: what do they talk about? well mostly frankie just flits with her and is smitten and stuff XD

[elevenelvenswords]

Me when a post of mine hits 100 notes