#this is so cringe bc it was literally all in my head
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soliyl · 2 years ago
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im going to be closing my comms indefinitely
in the past year, ive drawn about five times (forgot to post them here lol, i will tomorrow). this isn’t super uncommon, ive been pretty bad about drawing consistently for awhile now. i think a big part of the problem is the fact that ive had comms open. i first opened them in 2016 (jfc) and ive steadily drawn less and less frequently since then.
even though literally no one ever commed me (besides a couple friends, and in 7 years... sheesh), just having them open put me in this mindset toward my art. it had to be “marketable.” it had to be good enough for someone to see and say “i want to spend money and get something similar.” i haven’t drawn something just to draw in a really long time. everything i make, it has to be to a certain standard. it has to be worth something.
it stopped being fun. i stopped drawing for fun.
im like, in desperate need of money, too. im in a really bad spot in my life and doing comms for some cash would be great. but when i think about it, i don’t even want to do comms. if someone genuinely tried to commission me rn i would not enjoy it, even if their request is fine. i hate the idea of forcing myself to monetize what used to be a hobby. i hate the idea of anxiously working on it and being unsure if im making it worth the customer’s dollar. i seriously just want to like art again. i want to sketch again, fuck’s sake. i literally don’t sketch anymore, i try to make a polished product right away every time.
the decline in art frequency became more steep when i started posting on twitter, too. posting on multiple platforms, desperately trying to get attention. spending hours and hours on each piece and only getting a few likes here and there. disappointed the algorithm didn’t favor me, disappointed in my art for not being good enough to catch the appreciation i craved.
im going to go back to using tumblr as an archive for my art. i’ll keep tossing it up on twitter, too, just because i participate in xiv art parties sometimes. but im done trying to market myself. i don’t want to claw my way past other people all screaming “look at me!” and also be saying “please look at me.” from now on im just going to draw when i feel like it. if it sucks, that’s fine, who cares? im not trying to sell myself anymore.
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lazylittledragon · 4 months ago
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hi i'm unw el l
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comradekarin · 1 year ago
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Never shutting up about the flash and gl dynamic I’m seeing (and will continue to see as I watch) in jl/jlu. It’s the annoying gen z younger brother/perpetually tired and serious older brother dynamic y’all. It’s gl thinking wally is annoying and unserious and immature but he’s also regularly amused and indulging in wally and all of his wallyism. It’s gl wanting to dump wally somewhere in a desert but would also be sad if he left for like more than 48 hours. It’s gl wanting to bash his skull in by the sheer brilliance and stupidity wally exemplifies almost simultaneously (john watching wally deconstruct and reassemble alien technology for funsies !! vs watching wally eat twenty hot dogs in thirty seconds bc hawkgirl said he couldn’t). It’s gl being embarrassed by flash but also finding him super funny ,, but it’s even funnier to pretend he doesn’t because then you get your cringe best friend/little brother that’s either on child genius or dumber than a brick wall defending you from getting a death penalty sentence at a public intergalactic space trial where you are being accused of abusing authority and executing a mass genocide. And then y’all go to a baseball game that same day.
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im-smart-i-swear · 7 months ago
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guy trapped in a hell of his own creation: haha ive never done anything wrong in my entire life. and im always right:] anyway. why did my little brother move out:(
its so funny to me that at first glance tashi seems like hed be the most 'normal' out of all the clones but at least all the others are slowly healing n shit while hes just getting more and more insane each day and one day hell snap and explode and maim someone
#my art#my funky guys#HES SO FUCKING STUPID.#tashi im sorry ily but youre literally the dumbes fucking motherfucker ive ever seen. and a cringe loser. never change king<3#like. this guy realised he was a clone when he was a month old and decided to base his new personality entirely#on the idealised version of the original he made up in his head.#like he did this to himself!!! he chose to revolve his entire personality around being a 'perfect flawless mom friend'!!!!!!!#in his head hes like the most selfless & altruistic person to ever walk the earth but in reality hes a sad selfish mess who just wants to#be loved.#he started out as a pretty nice and level headed guy who wanted to help ppl but then it just spiraled when he made that his entire#personality bc of his inability to move on from a lie he really wanted to be true.#he percieves shiro as this perfect flawless leader figure and he wants DESPERATELY to imitate that. deep down its not enough for him to#simply coparent and share responsibility w the others. no no no he has to be The Leader and do everything himself!#this mindset results in him later on starting to dismiss and undervalue his familys work and commitment to keeping them all alive-#esp soup. like sHE WAS THERE W HIM FROM THE VERY BEGINNING THEY ARE EQUALS THEY ARE BOTH EQUALLY IMPORTRANT#AND HES SO FAR UP HIS ASS HE FORGOT. somewhere along the line he forgot. he missed the point. he spiraled too deep.#and he knows. he knows but hes so terrified of change and growth and admitting he CANT do this alone.#he wants to be a cool epic capable solo leader AND he craves family and connection soooo badly he cant live w/o his loved ones.#so yeah. hes an angry little pathetic freak<3 i love him#despite all that hes not a bad person. just a flawed guy thrown into a situation so stressful and traumatising that he clinged to the only#coping mechanism he had at the time and just sorta. ran with it.#dw he gets better tho! it takes a lot and his and sticks relationship is strained for a LONG time but he slowly gets better. good for him
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ragnars-tooth · 19 days ago
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One of my big compulsions is taking a fuck ton of screenshots Just In Case a piece of information is important in like 4 years and I can't remember it (sometimes the information is an instagram post that I might not remember later and of course needs to be recorded everywhere (I will Not be looking at that again)) so today is my transfer 16000 images off my phone admin day (woo)
Like yeah I never looked at any of them and they were completely irrelevant to my daily life, But what if I need them ✨️ later ✨️ (you'll see that the idea of Later is doing a lot of heavy lifting here) OR what if there's a vital piece of information in the mix somewhere that I'll lose forever if I delete them? So: onto the external hard drive they go
This is one of those cases where. Yeah. Ideally I wouldn't take 16000 screenshots in half a year. And YEAH ideally I'd just delete them and not transfer them somewhere else to never look at again. BUT at least I get a clean slate and I can maybe not mindlessly save everything for 2 seconds. It's like. Small wins? Progress. Yknow.
#rangnar rambles#i also use my tumblr drafts this way which is how i have probably 2000 drafts for this blog that are just? like me saving a post for 'later#and then theres too many in my drafts for me to even find *MY* drafts#i need to just hard reset the draft function bc its literally unusable for me#'matt this is all irrational and weird' by god. my irrational thoughts disorder makes me do weird shit? are you fr rn??? 😨😨#i get so stupidly in my own head and then i dont make progress towards Anything#even like a fun sideblog where i can actually yknow. post that 2k nightmare? i just cringe myself out like a dumbass 😔#i feel like ocd thoughts always sound lame out loud (and in my head to myself too)#like the Urgency doesnt come across#like in the moment i am Completely convinced that my national insurance number and bank deets are in there somewhere#and theres suddenly no way on earth i could ever find them again if i delete the picture. so to the hard drive they go#i Would go through that whole thing if i suddenly needed a screenshot from 2019 btw. like the crazy isnt theoretical#ive hallucinated gas leak smells before and woken up my flatmates bc i couldnt convince myself i was over reacting#its just cus the seasons have changed that everythings ramping up but omg its hard to do anything but spiral nowadays#thats a little dramatic but i am losing like. a quarter of the day to my ocd#its like. not great 😬#im not back to convincing myself i gave my dad cancer but i am not letting myself use half the kitchen again#but eh soo la voo we ball#HAH i checked my drafts after this and i was lowballing so hard#5.7k on this blog. 12k on my main 💀. its not funny but it kind of is#this is why youll never catch me running a queue#this is such a miserable post but i do feel the need to not let it sit in the drafts pile. to prove the point i guess 💀💀💀#'no one gives a shit this is your blog' 'oh my GOD WHAT IF PEOPLE GIVE A SHIT' <- omg shut upppp youre so embarassing 🙄#one more time for the gallery: i am like. aware that these feelings are irrational. like i am fine it just takes time for reality to kick in#ANYWAYS what was that who said that that was so weird im gonna go look at old romantic era paintings now#if tam is a screenshot fiend in the next fic u know what happened
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nygleskas · 1 year ago
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erm. thinking. possibility of jean being as annoying abt me as i am with him. possibility of him becoming a mushy/lovey dovey drunk after we're together (as opposed to him [canonically] being a sad drunk) . like he's just so so annoying he's turning every conversation into smth about us and he's rambling to anyone willing (and unwilling) to listen abt me and if i'm not in his immediate vicinity for 5 minutes he starts acting like "whereee is my boyfriend i miss him when will he return from War btw did you know i love him" . etcetera.
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ratgingi · 2 years ago
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another nonfandom oc falls victim to the dialed town beam. everyone say hi to felicity, shes like if government spy drone pigeons were a person doing their best
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cowboy-robooty · 1 year ago
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i am protecting the world by never chainsaw man posting because you dont understand how much i have to say about my boy denji
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transbee · 1 year ago
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having did and being online in any capacity is so fucking exhausting because you literally can't go anywhere without seeing the most heinous takes about your existence or validity it's like. can we be normal. can we please be normal and Chill for like two seconds.
#HEADS UP: this accidentally turned into a huge rant/vent feel free to get the hell out el oh el#i try reallly hard not to talk about it too much here because you can. offhandedly mention the mere concept of did or osdd or any#dissociative disorder and its like. people will not shut up about how its not real or how its people being delusional or kids being cringe#like. can we go. two seconds without treating people with mental disorders like a spectacle. please. you dont have to have a ''take'' on it#idk and i also avoid online did communities bc theyre the most exhausting spaces you can ever be in and theres constant fighting about#literally anything and everything. like. maybe i would like to find a space to meet other people with similar experiences to my own.#and we dont get that!! we literally cannot get that. and this goes for a lot of mental health related stuff but like my god#and im very lucky to have other people i know in real life who also have did so i can in some amount have that support system (hah.)#but it is EXHAUSTINGG that people cannot go literally a day without saying something stupid about systems#or i can be following someone for years and unprompted they will saysomething heinous thing about did and hide it behind something like#get a load of how weird and cringey kids are getting online these days.#and CHRISTT thats a whole OTHER issue i REALLY dont wanna talk about because it has its own whole set of nuances but like jeeeesus#is it really so hard for people to grasp that brains when exposed to traumas at a young age will be affected by it in weird ways.#idk man ive been seeing a lot of offhanded disregard for systems recently and it's so normalized and it's starting to get to me i guess#i wish people could just go well this is something i dont understand and dont need to have an opinion on and move on with their lives.#what the hell ever this is all to say having did has impacted my life in a lot of complicated and intricate and hard to explain ways and it#sometimes painful and awful but other times is an incredible experience and ALSO. most IMPORTANTLY !#i should be able to make jokes about BEING FRIENDS with SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG!! in REAL LIFE!!!#and not have to deal with SUICIDE BAIT IN MY INBOXX BECAUSE OF IT!!!#WHATEVERRR !!! RANT OVARRR I HAVE NOODLES TO MAKE AND EAT#.... WITH my friend SHADOW!!!#.txt#and btw this isnt about anyone ik here so dont worry im not upset with any mutuals etc etc and all that.#in fact i love getting the chance to chat about it n it can be fun to teach stuff to people who know how to like...be normal about it LOL#<3
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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idk how to reconcile my new self with my old self. also i fucking hate waiting. GRAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#delete later#im getting a taste of my own medicine bc when im overwhelmed depressed etc i don’t even open emails or dms or whatever and then ifeel guilty#and let them build up and run away from them and literally do not reply for years. but ive been waiting for like 5 different but related#replies for 3ish days at this point and im soooooo impatient omg i want to bash my head into the wall.. and afaik no one i messaged has#opened the message despite being active online elsewhere which is EXACTLY what i do so i have no right to complain at all. but still. omggg#i just have a simple question (me and the ps5 voice) reply to my message boy#purrs#also.. ok yeah im gonna be honest about it even if there are consequences lol. idk why im on such a mission to get back all my old#characters but if i don’t i can and will go crazy. i don’t even do that kind of thing anymore and d*viantart is an irreversibly warped#landscape due in part to capitalism and in part to own mistakes and selfish actions. and i truly feel like my tumblr mutuals are the only#ones who understand me and feel safe and cozy on here. but i miss my old internet home. and i really miss my old internet friends and seeing#all the jokes we had and how we were all like interconnected w the same adopt groups and stuff and now we don’t even talk… it makes me so#sad and i feel weird messaging them just for the purpose of asking if they can give me back characters i gave them 4 years ago like a) you j#just don’t do that kind of thing i don’t think but b) it feels so transactional and would make the part of saying hey our friendship was#important to me when i was a teenager and even though we don’t talk anymore i think of you fondly and wish you well. like lollllll. and i#feel cringe even tracking them down / messaging them bc we are all jn our 20s now… embarrassing. but i am so mad at myself for letting those#friendships wither (not that i have the spoons to sustain them these days anyway but still) and for not keeping bettr track of my characters#when i sold them and for giving them up in the first place and for letting my old internet life just fall apart due to neglect bc it puts me#in a bind to try to piece it together again no matter how i try it and i shouldn’t try anyway. but i am so tempted to rn. lol#* itd make saying stuff abt appreciating friendship weird bc there’s a transaction tied in (source: i did this and feel weird and bad)#like the way i want to SCREAM seeing that dA ate all of the journals i made when i was a 14 year old and turned them into glitched polls. th#the way the wayback machine has terrible unreliable records of everything and i can never get some stuff back / track some stuff down. pain#anyways it’s stupid bc i feel cozy and listened to and as connected as i have the energy to be to all of u guys so why am i doing this. but#i miss the dA stuff too and i wish it wasn’t cringe and i wish i could have everything that’s ever been part of me all in one place. lol#also this doesn’t even take into account my poetry community on dA on my other account who i also felt so safe and cozy with and i abandoned#that too and lost touch with basically everyone even though we all knew each others deepest secrets for years.. the heartsickness of it all#anyways mutuals who knew me on deviantart i am clutching both your hands with impassioned urgency and kissing u on the cheeks. that’s all
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phagodyke · 1 year ago
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its actually nuts how missing a single vaccination has shaped my entire fucking life. like not only would I not be deaf if I had gotten it on time but I probs wouldn't have adhd either 🫣
#like yeah I have a family history of adhd but im pretty sure the current model suggests u can be genetically *predisposed* but the actual-#development of adhd is thought to be closely linked to environmental 'triggers' like childhood stress or head injuries lol#or in my case brain trauma. fun fact: a suspected 62% of kids who survive hib meningitis later develop adhd symptoms#vs. 5% incidence in the general population.....#when I first heard that I was still in denial bc i thought of adhd as a 'natural' condition like ur just born that way#so if meningitis survivors displayed symptoms that didnt mean they were ACTUALLY adhd. except literally all adhd is-#is a collection of symptoms its not some tangible 'switch' thats flipped in some ppl and not others. maybe thats a rly obvious statement-#but I found it kinda hard to get my head around. i guess just bc of how a lot of psychology is viewed by the public innit#anyway being deaf + nd kinda fucking sucks yall better be jabbing ur babies with every vaccination possible or im coming for ur knees#its funny bc it sounds like im saying watch out !! vaccination may PREVENT neurodivergence NOT cause it !!#*andrew wakefield voice* u wouldnt want a child with autism#but thats not what i meaaaannn obvs ur kid not getting xyz disease that could kill them is the number 1 most important thing#its so cringe actually bc hib b incidence has been down to abt 2 in every 100 000 babies since the vax was introduced in 1985#so I was one of like. probably less than 10 babies to get it in the fucking country and they misdiagnosed me a bunch of times#bc it was so uncommon + I had some rarer symptoms plus the only way to actually CHECK is to test spinal fluid which is a faff#if theyd realised earlier then i also wouldnt be deaf bc it wouldnt have been as severe. just a series of unfortunate events i guess#anyway. immunology is so fascinating i wish id focused on it more in my degree tbh#over and OUT#.diaries
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kavehater · 2 hours ago
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My mum came to my room just now and was like what time did you sleep I was like oh my head was hurting so yeah … I actually slept quite late ngl but I was pretending to sleep bc I was still crying LMAO and my mum is really mean to me when I’m upset or stressed let alone full on crying so like PFFTTT
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lilac-melody · 1 year ago
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Hm....g?
#its so awkward having people ask me how i write so well bc i honest to god feel like my writing is subpar and cringe lol#like. Ive gotten a lot of comments abt how “they can see this happening” or complimenting how in character it all feels#or whatever#and like . While im genuinely flattered i just sit here scratching my head like#what. what am i doing right#all i can weakly compare writing to is acting#Since i was in theater in high school and acted in a few plays#when you play a character you have to get into the chars mindset. You Breathe Life into your character.#if you understand them and Become them#then writing in various povs becomes much easier#for me thats all i do... just apply my line of thinking from theater to writing#thats about the best response i can give#but it doesnt feel like a valid answer...#i just. Idk. Im happy people like my fics- enough for LITERALLY MULTIPLE PEOPLE to refer to me as a CELEBRITY#Bc my fics get talked abt in hw#kgs#which one of my fics is no.7 most kudod work in the whole fandom and no.3 without crossovers#which i still dont think much of bc the fandom isnt that big#and apparently people talk abt my fics in hpmc servers???? this gave me a mf whiplash????#bc i only have so many????#and the stragglers have referred to my fics in the dead utapri fandom#And i used to be a big name in the dee-gee-r fandom but i think nowadays im mostly faded into obscurity#my point in this all though is just. Idk how to tell people that im a lil awkward w all this. I dont see any of this as an accomplishment..#its just a bunch of writing that happened when i felt the need to scream into a void#my shit isnt anything special.#Again!!! Im flattered that people love my fics!!! Thats what i aim for!!!#but to be gushed over is rly embarrassing im ngl...#If you read my ramble wow im sorry for you i just!@!#Want to get this all off my chest but also not sound like im bragging so like. Yeah fjfkfkrkfodo
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astrxealis · 1 year ago
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i'm so angry at myself sometimes for how obviously i would have become an astarion lover
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#he's just like me but also i would give him a hug. and a kiss.#LIKE ... i have a very definite list of Most Favorite Characters and it's complicated and complex and fun#and i also talk too much abt it sometimes or maybe it's all just in my head bcs i think wayyy too much#so anyway astarion fits the list so badly it's almost embarrassing for me but unfortunately i'm cringe and free#it's so bad for me guys#i'm incorporating bits of him in my irl-ness (personality etc) too ..... which has. always been there bcs i'm a dramatic theatric extra#gay little boygirlieboygirl but ????? !!!!! god#he's just like me in so many ways (either literally directly or just vaguely but in a way that matters)#he is so important to me it's indescribable and honestly it's. really special and important to me#and the fact i associate way too many hozier songs w him ... downright evil to myself ..... why do i hurt myself so#and the fact my TAV. and by extension Me. so much stuff with light and the sun and the stars#MY TAV IS LITERALLY NAMED APOLLO okay and that is my name also i love to go by .......#and i love anything to do w the sun especially with . just. yeah okay.#and the way astarion's a little chaotic a little babygirl a little traumatized and and and#LITTLE STAR. i cannot stress enough how much that means to me. little star.#and i Love vampires ... but i forgot abt that until astarion tbh but i have always adored vampires oh my god. so yeah.#and. astarion. just. Yeah!! yeah#i also have a funny story behind how i like him and his story fits so well and his color scheme. fits all the checks for being my fav#and yeah like i said i've adopted some of his mannerisms!!! i've done that w Raha and Akechi and Nines and etc#and he's in a fantasy game series based off dnd and ????? what more can i say. it's so obvious he would have been my fav#once again bg3 is a game i am... so in awe i only learned of literally in july. oh my god.#i've played elder scrolls dragon age etc etc etc so many fantasy games i ADORE fantasy and. goodness me
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merlucide · 15 days ago
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BLLK TEAM SPOTTING YOU IN THE CROWD!
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notes: hahahahehajajsj I’m SO excited for this guys- the new episode had me TWEAKING.
characters: Isagi, Rin, Bachira, Chigiri, Nagi, Karasu, Otoya, Yukimiya, Niko, Gagamaru, Aryu, Reo, Barou, Hiori, Shidou
warnings: reading the same thing over again but in a different font LMAO, cringe but WHO gaf??, y/n glazing (help😭💀)
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You and your friend managed to snag close seats for the Blue Lock vs. U-20 match, and you could BARELY contain your excitement!!—especially because your beloved boyfriend was playing. You both were decked out in all blue, sticking out from the white and red crowd. The odds were stacked against him and his team, but you had complete confidence that they would hold their own. As you settled into your seats, the teams made their way onto the field. The moment you spotted your boyfriend, you and your friend screamed your heads off, cheering as loud as you could. The game was going great so far; at halftime, the score was 2-1, with Blue Lock in the lead! The players were standing around on the field, catching their breath, when he finally spotted you in the crowd, screaming + waving your arms wildly.
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ISAGI YOICHI
He’s like ehh?!? You came?!? To watch him?!? For reals?!
Gets all touched lmao 😭
Waves back with a big ol smile :3
Means a lot because you cheered for him when he was nobody 🥹 AND now he’s playing against THE U-20 aaaa
Yells ‘HIIIII’
-Bachira wiggles his eyebrows at him 😏 -which makes him all blushy and pushes him off him lol
Que bachira going ‘ooooooo isagi’s gotta s/ooooooo 🤭😏’
So embarrassed hehe
Blows you a little kiss when nobody’s looking tho :3
RIN ITOSHI
He didn’t think you’d come tbh
Feels proud that you did tho! not that he’d let you know ofc
He gave you a little wave and called it good (he has to remain mysterious- especially in front of Sae!!)
He’s very conflicted if he’s glad you came or if wishes you didn’t lmao 💀
Bc when he heard ‘Woah- They’re cute’ from his teammates he snapped his head over
“They’re taken, back off scum.” He’ll snap
Everyone’s sorta like ?? RIN PULLED SOMEONE?? 
Que immediate questioning
‘HOW DID YOU GET A S/O BEFORE I DID?!’ ‘I feel bad for them..’ ‘DID YOU PAY THEM??’
He just tells them to shut up
smirking inside, heh
BACHIRA MEGURU
He’s like 😦-> 🤩
inside he’s like ‘OHMYGOSHTHEYCAMEEEEEEE! :D’
Screams your name jumping and waving his arms
‘Y/NNNNNNN ARE YOU WATCHING ME?!? Y/NNNNNNNN!!’
‘YEAAAAAAAAAH!! YOU LOOKED SO COOOOOOOOL!!’
You def go with his mom tho 😌
You and Yuu are screaming your heads off together- ‘GOOO !! YOU GOT THIS!!!’ ‘GET THE FREAKIN’ BALL MEGURU!! HES OPEN- GOOOOO!!!’
Shes very glad you’re supportive of her son 🥹<3 (live laugh love yuu)
He points to you and says to his friends ‘THATS MY S/O!!! :D’
and they’re just like ‘..cool buddy’
They’re trying to figure out how he pulled someone lmao
After the match he practically jumps on you lol- No sorry, he literally does and you both crash on the floor
Both of you are just rolling around screaming in excitement lol
CHIGIRI HYOMA
So embarrassed lol
Like ‘My family AND my s/o came?!” Help he appreciates yall coming but it flusters him!!
Especially when his teammates are making comments about YOU and his SISTER
it’s too much for him 🙂‍↕️
He made it real clear that he’s your bf tho, so no one gets ideas!!
Really happy you came though, especially since you were one of the most encouraging people when he tore his ACL <3
NAGI SEISHIRO
Didn’t even think you’d come- like the thought that you would come didn’t even cross his mind (go figure)
‘Oh, y/n’s here, cool’
Lazily waves back
Wants to tell Reo you’re here but remembered that they broke up  🙂‍↕️
Yuki goes up to him and asks ‘Oh who’s that?’ and he’s just like ‘It’s y/n’
‘..I see, who is y/n?’ ‘uh, I don’t remember..🧍‍♀️’
‘Someone important tho,’
Just sorta stares at you until the whistle blows lmao 😭
KARASU TABITO
Super proud n smug :)
Like ‘Heh, MY s/o came’
Super super happy you’re there omg, but ofc he can’t let that show too much 😌
Waves back ofc
He looks at all his teammates to make sure they’re seeing this
It makes him feel really special that you came to watch HIM play :)
Def a confidence booster
Gets a annoyed bc he knows you spent a shit ton of money for this lmao
🐝:’oooo who’s that Karasu-kun?’ 
🐦‍⬛: ‘Heh, that’s my s/o 😏’
🐝: ‘For realsies? :o’
🐦‍⬛: ‘Yup 😌’
🥷:He’s such a simp bro’
🐦‍⬛:’Shut up Otoya.’
OTOYA EITA
He’s low key tweaking on the inside tbh
gives you the frat boy ‘nod’ and the three finger wave 💀
Doesn’t even wait for anyone to ask about you he’s already going
‘Yeah that hot chick/person is my s/o, it’s aight’ to be jealous’
But they’re just like ?? How tf did YOU pull anybody bro??
Poses for you LMAO
Is def waiting for you to make an edit of him or smth 😐
Your friend is looking at you like ‘seriously, him?~_~’ I am that friend.
Will NAWT shut up about how his hella hot s/o came to his game
YUKIMIYA KENYU
He’s like ‘Oh! They’re here?! Really?’ :3
Calls your name and gives a big wave
Super happy and proud that you came :)
Laughs a bit at the your dramatic outfits but appreciates it!
Tells the nearest person who you are and a bit about cha’ :3
When you blow him kisses he catches em’ and cradles them to his heart >:)
got a side eye from Nagi lol
NIKO IKKI
SOOOO flustered lmao
pink cheeks n everything ><
whispers a ‘hi’ and waves a little wave back
Super duper excited n happy you came :3
Wants to impress you so bad now- lol
Really hope no one sees you bc he might just die if he gets teased
-which of course they do and what he feared happens lmao
ARYU JINBEI
a very stylish single tear falls from his eye
‘Oh dearest y/n, you are so glam for this, I cannot even..!’
Dramatically flares his arms as a ‘wave’ and sings your name
‘Y/NNNNNNNNNN!- are you ready for this historic momennnnnnt-‘
Poses elegantly for you, talking to himself about how styl this is
GAGAMARU GIN
Squinting like ‘Is that y/n’ - o -
then eyes wide like ‘It is y/n’ • o •
Jumps up and hits his head on the goal 💀 then proceeds to jump again
Waves both arms and yells really slowly ‘CAAAAAN YOUUUU SEEEEE MEEEEEE?’
Then proceeds to talk to you yelling his lungs out, he stopped when Karasu told him ‘shut up, they can’t hear ya’’
He stopped for a brief moment, then continued
 (after they get on field)
REO MIKAGE
SO happy. Like ‘🥹😁’ happy
Smiling the BIGGEST smile :)
Really, really appreciates you coming
Especially since you were literally the only other person aside from Ba-Ya that supported his dream
And! Speaking of Ba-Ya she was beside you in her usual attire, waving a little blue flag
Waves to you with both hands😌
Also blows you so many kisses ofc 
Afterwards he’s going to give you the biggest hug and the FASTEST smooch ever
BAROU SHOEI
He was hoping you’d come, he wanted you to see just how much more he’s improved 😌
He heard your cheers and screams when he came into field and that also fueled into his desire to crush Isagi >:3 like ‘heh, bet’
You were VERY happy with how he celebrated his goal 😏🤭 you spammed your camera lmao
Waves back at you ofc, he is a gentleman after all
When someone asks who are you he just says ‘My partner, y/n. Don’t get any ideas donkey.’
heh, 😏
Really appreciates you coming :) especially with how expensive tickets are oml
def forced you to let him pay you back lmao
HIORI YO
He knew his parents would be there, but he wasn’t sure if you’d come. Very pleased you did! :)
Chuckles + rolls his eyes at your outfits
He’s got a cute little smile on his face :3
Waves back at you and signs you ‘thanks’
Points you out as ‘y/n, my sweet s/o’ to Isagi
Brags to him too lmao
Like ‘Yeah, they’re like perfect in every way- but you’ll find someone who is pretty decent though, don’t worry ☺️’
SHIDOU RYUSEI (my man will always be included soo)
Lets out the goofiest, happiest laugh
points at you with two hands and yells
So pumped you came omg
‘SAE- SAE LOOK! THATS MY BABY! THE ONE I WAS TELLN’ YOU ABOUT!’ ‘I don’t care.’
Continues to yell out you asking ‘DID I LOOK COOL?’ or ‘DID YOU FREAKN SEE THAT?’
Blows you tons of kisses before he has to start again
everyone on the bllk team is genuinely confused how tf this guy pulled anyone and is concerned for you and your mental health 💀
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AHHAJSJEJES IM SO EXCITED BROOOOO
made Nov 9 2024
1K notes · View notes
deafsignifcantother · 10 months ago
Text
the v's reaction to someone taking your hearing aid
♥ summary: "what the Vees would do if they noticed their partially deaf s/o being picked on - like the other people would tear out their hearing aid(s) and break them and stuff" @aceduchessdragoness ♥ characters: velvette, vox, valentino ♥ notes: screaming and crying okay so i did val's spanish as spain spanish bc i think spain sign language would be better than narrowing his signs down to a specific latin american country but if the translation is cringe then tell me bc i'm literally using an lse dictionary
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Vox
♥ word count: 1.9k ♥ notes: i use [Y/N] for the first time in my career ong, she/her pronouns used in third person, reader doesn't speak and only signs, protective but violent vox, vox in a healthy relationship, reader gets harassed in public
It was never a mystery to you how Vox always knew where you were. Even without the watch on your wrist, you felt his eyes on you, the looming knowledge of persistent monitoring.
Not that it bothered you, of course. If anything, you were worried that he wanted to spend his time watching you instead of running his business. But whatever, it was flattering.
Whenever you went on your routine errands, you would smile at every television or security camera you encountered. On the big screens in Vox's room, he feels like the common softening of his heart. Your smile always seems so genuine. How can somebody like you adore him so much?
.
Blue light illuminates your living room. From the kitchen, you groan as you make your way to the television. Can he stop bothering you at this hour? All you wanted to do was get some damn water, but of course, as always, he's monitoring you.
Words pop up on the screen as you approach it. You rub your eyes, the brightness overwhelming. You reach for your coffee table.
GO TO SLEEP
With the sudden click of the remote, you smile as the screen goes black. One, two, three... it lights up again.
DON'T TRY
Again, the screen goes black. One... again, a bright blue illuminates you.
[Y/N]. The television shakes.
You snicker at him, finally sitting on the floor and putting the remote down. On the other side of that screen, Vox sits on his swivel chair, gazing up at you, your frame taking up multiple monitors. Your eyes look below where his point of view is.
"It's late," you sign, and the light makes your hands shine in the darkness. "Dim it a little."
He listens; his small act of consideration makes you melt. Your eyes soften immensely. Internally, he begs you to stop looking at him like that; it's embarrassing how good it makes him feel.
The television is still a blinding blue as you go from the living room to the bedroom; he follows you per any screen by your side. Worst of all, a flat-screen faces your bed, which was mandatory.
"Goodnight, Vox." You sign while putting your face up to the screen.
You turn this TV off, and to your delight, it stays off.
.
With a yawn, you stretch your morning aches away and lean your head against the table of your vanity. You get a few seconds of shut-eye before popping back up. Vox is watching; if he notices you're tired, he will try to be domestic and nap with you regardless of how much work you must do today. So you rub away your sleepy eyes and massage the tension in your jaw. Putting on your hearing aid is first on your daily to-do list; you'd like to hear if he pops up on your television and decides to update you on his morning. Sometimes, he gets so impatient. Next, while picking up your moisturizer, you try not to shiver at the coldness once it touches your fingers.
You wish yourself a good morning before rubbing it in.
At the same time of day, Vox was already up and doing his rounds, making sure his employees were getting work done. He gets antsy between when you wake up, and you get to the tower. Every morning once he sees you entering the elevator, he'll wait on the other side to welcome you in with a kiss to the forehead.
Vox checks his watch. It shows his favorite things: your vitals, location, and pretty little face whenever you dial him.
You've finally left your place, thank goodness. Pacing aimlessly has never looked good on him.
.
He stands by his window, looking down at the streets below, watching you approach. You're wearing your usual uniform, one that he picked out just for you; it consists of the same red and blue stripes he has on his everyday suit. It makes you an eyesore in the everyday crowd.
If you didn't know any better, you'd lift your head to see if you could spot him among the many stories. The building is beautiful, overpowering. The V tower's magnificent brightness outshines the rest of the V district. The constant noise of people always has you walking with your hearing aid turned as low as it can go without turning off.
With the pink light reflecting off your face, you look both ways before crossing the street, a bright smile on your face, stepping onto the asphalt before a hand grabs your wrist.
Vox furrows his brow at the sight.
You turn your head and see a friendly reporter and a cameraman, the camera not yet rolling. Your pupils flicker between them.
"Hello!" She smiles, removing her hand. With caution, you fully face her, stepping back onto the sidewalk. The 'professional' persona you've been forced to practice is finally coming to fruition.
"Hello! I'm Deaf; I don't think I'd be able to do an interview."
She flicks her hand and rolls her eyes in the most friendly way possible. "Not a problem," she signs, moving the microphone vibrantly, "I can work this out, no problem!"
You widen your eyes in a wowwwww, oh my god, that's perfect... "Oh, what a kind woman you are!"
Vox? You beg internally. Baby? Save me.
Up high, he doesn't remove his eyes from you. With the use of sign language, he can't listen in, and he can't tell whether he needs to intervene or not. There's nothing wrong with going to check, right? Or will he seem possessive, or scared? He doesn't want people to think he doesn't want you to talk to anyone. It's good that you get to sign to someone other than him and Velvette, right?
The camera starts rolling, and you square your shoulders, adjusting your sleeves for more mobility. The news reporter throws the microphone at the cameraman, who does not catch it but ignores it as she shows off her brightest smile.
"Hello, ladies and gentlemen, I have the sweetest person in hell with me, [y/n]! Tell me, how long have you two been together?"
Of course, the news has been recognizing you recently. You've been seen countless times adjusting Vox's tie (he purposely fucks it up so that you'll step close to him) as well as wrapping your arm around his and pinching the corner of his screen endearingly before you give him a babying compliment. Many people have taken pictures and edited hearts around you two. People are obsessed with how "heavenly" your relationship is.
"Oh, many months now!" You nod to yourself, trying to stop your eyes from shining with admiration. You always get so soft when you think about him; it's one of the things people notice. She looks at him as if he's her entire world.
"Beautiful!" The reporter puffs out her bottom lip innocently. "I'm sure you make that man very happy."
What do you even say to that? I hope so.
"The happiest."
"Now," she doesn't hesitate to change the topic. "Are there any challenges you two face about your... differences?"
Your eyebrows raise before furrowing in confusion. Differences? At first, you think she means his television head, but when she notices you pause, she rudely clarifies. "I mean, with your lack of hearing, you know? Don't you find it a little embarrassing?"
You lean your body away from her. "What are you saying?"
The shock of the tonal shift has you freezing in place. The reporter looks at the camera, her eyes squinting with sadistic amusement. Her fingers twitch as she lifts her arm, not even looking at you before plucking the hearing aid from your ears. She crushes it in her hand.
At first, you grab your ear, pressing your hand to it in disbelief. Your face contorts, your shoulders dropping as you try to step away. Why couldn't you see this coming? And on television—is that where this is airing? The air around you goes quiet, the sensation of spatial awareness fading a bit as you stumble back, your hand still grasping your ear. The watch on your wrist hits your cheek, and without a second thought, you tap on the screen repeatedly. The next thing that popped into your head: her bravery is the most surprising.
With a brief fall of light, Vox stands where the lady once was. You eye him with uncertainty, a look you have never given him. He faces the cameraman, not looking your way. Your eyes go up and down his body; his stance is tense, his arms are folded behind his back, and his fingers sparking with small glimmers of electricity.
You see that lying behind him is the woman, body entirely limp, smoke coming from her mouth, and her eyes looking stuck open.
He speaks to the camera, pointing his finger at it, staring intensely into the shaking, blinking red light. Your hands link around his bicep. Composure, you remind yourself. You turn to the camera with a weary smile and lean your head against him.
.
"That'll never happen again." He stares at himself in the mirror. His dressers and tables are filled with claw marks from his previous meltdowns.
You just sit on his bed, crossing your legs uncomfortably, watching him as he goes back and forth between signing to you and mumbling to himself. You haven't said a word. You just keep your eyes on him.
He protected you in the way he knew best. He wanted nothing more than to put his hands on the sides of her head and crush her skull. It would stain his suit, awful. Even worse, your suit would have been ruined, too.
Should he force you to move into the tower? He's always wanted to. The commute would be no more, and you'd be safe from the outside.
Should he prevent you from leaving at all without him? No, that might be too much, but his entire body craves to keep you secure and protected.
He won't ask you what you want. He knows there's a chance you would just coddle him and tell him it's okay. There's no reality where he will do nothing; he must devise his own plan. But first (actually, secondly, after getting his anger out on his furniture), he wants to make sure his sweetheart is okay.
Once he calmed down and sat next to you, rubbing your thigh, he watched as you scrolled through social media, looking at the hundreds of people laughing and reposting the event. He shuts off your phone, grabs it, and tosses it across the room. You roll your eyes helplessly before he lifts his hands and signs to you.
"I will track everyone down and punish them severely, baby. No one will ever touch you again, or else they will the next flashing headline."
"I know, baby," you wrap your arms around his chest and lean into him, rubbing your cheek against the smoothness of his overcoat.
You hum against him, finding it in yourself to smile softly. Protector, protector, protector. You run those words through your head; they're comforting to their own extent. Suppose he ends up locking you inside the tower. In that case, it's better than him leaving you entirely over this (which, obviously, he'd never actually do). Spending every morning and night with him wouldn't be wrong. Everything happens for a reason.
He leans back onto the bed, his feet dangling off as you curl into his side.
Before resting completely, you use a hand to sign into his chest. "Everything will be fine."
Your coddling, though annoying, provides the most relaxing warmth to his body. He groans, wrapping an arm lazily around you, feeling the usual butterflies in his stomach as you press a small kiss to his collarbone.
.
.
.
Velvette
♥ word count: 1.6k ♥ warnings: reader speaks, party scene, getting harassed by a man, vox is in this too ♥ a/n: i completely headcanon that velvette took an asl class in highschool when she was alive, i have no idea how velvette usually acts in fanfiction so this is MY velvette now
Velvette found you, such a pretty thing, in your little corner of the internet, making content for your little community. That little corner of yours is where you told the news and interpreted a lot of banter from the overlords. Your channel was the perfect mix of education and drama, all for the Deaf community in Hell.
You were, as Velvette described, a tea channel.
She invited you to the V tower to show you around. The three V's introduced themselves to you in their own way, offering you a job. The bossman, ever so gentlemanly and charming, didn't let Valentino try and make sex motions to you for longer than necessary. And before Velvette forced Vox to scurry off, she forced him to snap a few pics of you posing with her as a faux collab.
You weren't stupid. You knew Velvette only wanted your attention to spread whatever brand she endeavored to popularize. But this might be a golden opportunity. You'd learn the behind-the-scenes from three different overlords, and the content you can produce will gather insane traction.
.
Velvette is just so sweet; the way she showed her care for you was just through gift-giving.
She loved putting together gift boxes for you, similar to the sorority kind. The boxes went from cute little baskets to a cardboard box resembling a PR send. These would always be set on your desk with a bit of note from her, each time she'd signed off her name with a heart.
Jackets, shoes, candies, jewelry, pens, everything. The gifts are versatile with familiar themes of hearts. Every day was like Valentine's Day when she was 'courting' you (did she even realize she was?).
She made you bags: totes, crossbody bags, clutches, phone pouches, coin purses, anything she thought you would need with an array of colors to match any outfit. She put in hair clips and pocket mirrors, cozy slippers and fancy journals.
She even got you two matching bracelets.
You love the smirk she wears whenever she notices you adorning anything she's given to you. Damn right, she thinks, I knew it would look good.
The most enormous box she'd ever given you was the day before one of her fashion shows. Inside were glorious clothes from her collection, all for you to pick out and wear. She really loved her stripes.
You put your hearing aid on, smiling at yourself in the mirror as you watch the charm she made you glisten in the light. With your bracelet ornamenting your wrist, you pat down your stripped outfit before taking a deep breath.
.
Your entrance reeks of reluctance. The temptation to retreat back to your room is unbearable. Seeing Velvette will definitely lift your mood; where is she? Surely, she'd be the highlight of the room, but amongst all the women with their eccentric colors and clothing shapes, you can't find your eye drawing to her anywhere.
The sounds of the party blend together in a nasty concoction; you can't help but turn your hearing aids off. The sound is similar to what it's like being outside in a heavy storm; the wind, the pouring rain, the blur and whine of the hearing aids. And instead of lingering by the double doors, you push into the crowd. You're the least recognizable in the crowd of celebrities, but it doesn't stop people from moving out of the way when you try to wiggle through. You're wearing stripes, her stripes. You're either bold or very special to her; they don't want to intervene.
But your stripes also get some people to stare at you longer than they would have otherwise. Across the room, in front of you, you notice a tall, almost shirtless model coming your way, directly staring at you. You break the quick eye contact before squeezing through a cluster of girls taking selfies. They won't let you through, grimacing but not laying any hands on you. When you turn to go the other way, the man is behind you, holding out his hand, waiting for you to put your hand in his.
You click on your hearing aid and scroll up. "What did you say?" You ask verbally, clearing your throat a bit.
His eyes bounce from yours to your hand, looking at what you're touching. His head tilts in interest. You don't like the sight of his smile.
"Oh wow." He says.
Immediately, "Yeah, no," Velvette puts her hands on your shoulders and tries to push you away. "I swear, don't even look at him, he's fucking insane."
He speaks over her, but you can't process his words over how close Velvette's lips are to your ear. Her warm breath sends goosebumps down your arms, and your spine straightens. This only makes her hum in amusement.
After turning and growling at him, she effortlessly maneuvers you away. Eyes watch you even closer now as she touches you. You let her guide you throughout the room with not a clue as to where she's leading you, if anywhere. But eventually, you two end up in front of a mirror the size of a wall.
She stares at you through the mirror. "Look at you," she signs, "extravagant as ever, darling."
"Thanks to you."
"Obviously." And she bumps her hip into yours. You laugh, mimicking the motion back.
You had ditched your initial motive of getting close to the V's to gain more information about them. They were fine people to hang out with, making you laugh and feel involved. Velvette gave you special attention that nobody in your afterlife has ever given. Her lipstick left stains on your cheek whenever she kissed you, and she made an 'appointment' in her schedule once a week to paint your nails the same black color as hers.
The afternoon went by quickly; you spent time clapping and watching models show off their garb. Velvette is a true talent.
But something ruined your evening. The air hummed with laughter and the rhythmic beat of music. Velvette had been whisked away by the other V's to overlook the crowd and count the people who had attended. Among the colorful crowd stood a familiar figure whose eyes sparkled with mischief. Different from last time, you don't notice when he starts to approach again.
"You," he coos, placing his hand under your chin. You must stare at his lips to comprehend his words over the music, an awful innuendo you wish you could have avoided. He leaned in closer to you, and in return, you leaned back. Valentino had told you a bunch of times to not worry if someone puts their hands on you, that it's a typical formality in Hell. You would always roll your eyes at him, never expecting a stranger to grab you like this.
You were mentally preparing yourself to dodge a kiss. But then, daringly, he leaned in and gently plucked the hearing aid from behind your ear, holding it aloft like a trophy. Fear flickered across your face, your hand instinctively reaching for it, but he pulled it away. The charm Velvette gave you dangles like a jewel.
"Don't," you say with desperation. He puts a finger in front of your face and waves it back and forth. He coos, using that hand to grab your face as if you were the most adorable thing he's ever seen.
Your eyes are locked on the charm, and it's brash jolts. You almost beg for him to just give you the charm back.
In the middle of a conversation with Vox, Velvette raises an eyebrow; shocked and pissed, she glared at whoever had torn off your hearing aid. She mumbles, "I'd tear their hearing aid off and break it."
Before she can move closer to you, Vox puts his hand in front of her while watching the interaction. "Think before acting, Velvette."
Her frustration turns into anger as she pushes his hand away. He lets her run off; he holds a hard stare as her pink hair bobs through the crowd.
Your eyes are stuck wide with shock, and a million things run through your head, all relating to the appropriate situational response.
True to your casual self, you were having a hard time not just jamming your hand in his eyes and kicking his shins. Would you make Velvette mad? Vox?--Would that result in you being removed from the V Tower? It's all so complicated. Though you were panicking over a 'quick' decision, you and the man stayed in that position for a few seconds. He stayed laughing, dropping the hearing aid and stomping on it.
At almost the same time, Velvette threw a glass from someone's hand at the man, perfectly aimed, hitting him in the face. She lets out a small "nice!" before rushing to you.
Her hand runs down your face, and she holds you tenderly, not turning to face Vox as he puts himself between her and the man. Your eyes bounce around the entire room. Will you ever get a break from being at the center of attention?
"We're leaving. Now." she signs in a single motion so quick that it makes you smile, relieving some of the stress that's been making your head pound. She's able to sign so naturally now.
The crowd splits into two.
Behind the both of you, Vox is declaring an end to the event, apologizing to the people for the inconvenience. Velvette keeps muttering about him under her breath; you can see her lips moving and her face grimacing.
.
She has beads in front of her, a bunch of small charms with string. She signs, looking up at you. "I should have killed him."
You just watch her craft another charm, laying on her bed and kicking your feet. "That would have been funny."
She scoffs and smiles, her painted lips turning upwards. Her fingers trace over the beads, deciding which one to pick up. She wants to make it different than the last one, but what should it look like? She picks up a pink heart with a slight hum before sliding it down onto the string. She whispers to herself, perfect.
.
.
.
Valentino
♥ word count: 1.7k ♥ note: reader is a vodka drinker, i'm obsessed with writing a loving valentino, reader doesn't talk very much and prefers sign, sexually suggestive things happening but it's not nsfw, kinda written like ass, drugs mentioned but no named just symptoms, takes place on porn set, valentino kills someone, blood description
Every time you step into the studio, you're hit by the smell of sex, mostly the sweetened stench of that strawberry lube he loves so much. Visiting his work is not usually something you do often, but he's seem to be so busy lately that you can't help but bring him a drink, the most beautiful drink in hell: vanilla vodka. You can already see him licking him lips.
Strawberry lube, so prominent in your nose.
His legs are crossed and he stares at the scene in front of him, his sunglasses hiding whatever his emotions are, but his lips are still in a prominent scowl.
Though, when he sees you, his expression changes drastically. He stands with so much excitement that the actors stop to see what he's reacting to. All eyes are on you, you shy away from the attention a bit but Val doesn't seem to notice, else care.
"Amor mío!" One of his hands signs, running down his cheek while his bottom two motions for a hug.
Before you can initiate a hug, he wraps his arms around you and brings you into his chest, trapping your arms in. He's warm, vibrantly so, it's hard not to melt against him. You couldn't be surprised if you let out a small moan at the contact. Oh, how I've missed you so much.
He pulls away quicker than you'd like and takes the bottle from your hand, holding it up close to his face so he can examine it. "Burnett's, oh you shouldn't have!"
He hesitates, torn between his responsibilities and the irresistible allure of having a drink with the person he was enamored with. He's not so easy to whisk away from work, therefore (of course), you seem to be the only person who he is at every beck and call.
You smile softly, "I knew you'd like it."
With a laugh, he takes your hand and spins you, his free hands popping open the bottle, ready to embark on whatever journey you had in store.
He turns and addresses his employees, granting them a small break before turning to you with his sharp smile.
And together, you slip away from the set, leaving behind the hustle and bustle of the studio for a simple moment of peace and luxury. Walls blazed with hues of pink and blue, you both find yourselves nestled on the fluffy couch in a lounge, a wineglass in your hand while he chugs from the bottle.
"You've been so busy." You sign. You switch the wineglass into your non dominant hand to avoid spilling any of the contents. Val holds the bottle with his bottom set of hands while signing with his top ones (he was originally going to do it the other way around).
“I know, princesa,” one of his hands comes up and squeezes your cheek. “Business calls, I cannot help myself.”
“Which is why I came to visit.” 
The two of you clink glass upon glass before taking a drink. He’s trying not to finish the drink before you, he’s making sure to take his time. He doesn’t want you to leave as much as he doesn’t want to rush the break. His eyes go over your entire form and take you in, there feels like an eternity since he saw you last. Why do you have so much patience for someone like him? It’s astonishing. Surely someone as beautiful as you could find someone sweeter than her. But he’s grateful to have you, he’s mildly addicted to that internal battle of whether he wants to cherish you or own you (perhaps he can do both? Something he’s never done before). 
“What?” You ask.
“Hm?” His fingers pinch together in the casual way of signing.
“You’re staring at me.”
“I can’t resist.”
“What were you thinking about?” You sign and lean forward, giving him bright eyes. Your gaze swallows him, moth to a flame. 
He matches your body language, “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, amor mío.”
When he tries to grab your hand, you pull away. “You're acting as if you're wine drunk.” You sign. You have a sappy smile as you put your glass to your lips. 
“Never,” he wiggles his fingers as he signs. You eye him carefully, debating asking if he's kept his favorite gun on him. There's nothing worse than a drunk Valentino.
After the wine break, he has to go back to work. He feels himself getting irritated as he walks back, why can't he just continue spending the day with you? Is it worth sending everybody home? No, he has a job to do, and he needs to complete it before relaxation. But maybe he'll consider taking breaks (his least favorite word) to spend time with you.
You follow, both of your hands holding his, clinging onto him like a child.
Everybody was still in the studio, waiting for his return, not daring to leave in fear of him coming back. Actors were talking to each other casually, away from the camera, it built a strange sense of community for you. They're so nice to each other off-camera.
He drags you to his chair still holding your hand as he sits in it.
Drinking with you had been a much-needed respite from these people. He made a mental note to gift you more wine.
You remove your hands from his and smile. “Get back to work, baby.” 
Pearly white, sharp teeth show through his large smile. He presses his lips against each of your knuckles while his eyes skin over all of his actors, counting them. He makes eye contact with one particular one, a woman. They stare at each other for more than a second. She's scowling at him and he squints his eyes at her. The fuck is your problem?
She usually looks at him with sultry looks, but now there's a sharpness to them.
But his eyes peel away from her and go back to you, he leans forward and presses a slow kiss to your forehead. He signs low, almost as if he's whispering a secret. "I'll come see you after."
You smile and start turning away. "Good."
Upon noticing your departure, the actors and crew start returning to their places, keeping an eye on Valentino and any commands he might make. Their eyes are always on him, worried to test his anger. But not all the actors were worried about testing his anger.
"Hey," an actress grabs your hand before you could reach the door and you turn to her. She talks, her voice making your hearing aids buzz, "Are you guys like, dating? Are you dating the Valentino? Like, literally one of the V's."
Her words all bunch into one. You blink, taking time to think about both what she could be asking and the connotation behind it. "Yes?" It sounds more like a question than an answer. Is that the correct response?
She hums and nods, her eyes wide in amazement. Her pupils are large. Her cheeks are hollow and she has strong eyebags. With a distant sound from Val, him talking to the crew, she looks back at him before turning to you. "I mean like, why? Why would he want you?"
Oh no. You try to move away but she just follows you, stepping in front of you closer. It's like being cornered, being trapped in an almost unavoidable situation.
"Why wouldn't he?" You test with a squint of your eyes.
She just smiles at you. "Uhm," and her arm reaches over, grabbing the hearing aid from your ear, pinching it between her claws, "Obviously this."
You reach for it but she pulls it away from you, trying not to laugh.
So you do what you know is the best solution, you call his name, practically screaming it. "Val!"
At the sound of you using your voice he whips his head around. The air goes still, you can tell from the way she pauses. Her pause is only for a second, she reeks of hesitance and sudden worry. She looks at the hearing aid in her hand as if she's finally realizing what she had done and what was about to happen.
Before she can say another word, her entire body stiffs, her eyes widen before her pupils roll back. And then she's on the floor, almost falling onto you.
You wipe blood from your cheek and groan.
Val stares at you, his expression unreadable. In his hand is his jeweled gun. He pauses for a moment to take a long drag of his cigarette, letting out a cloud of red smoke before he looks at his gun with a toothy smile until he tucks it back into his belt.
He starts to approach you and for a second you're scared, it was a primal feeling. He walked like a king.
All you can do is watch him, frozen in place.
The first thing he does when he reaches you is bend in front of her body, plucking the hearing aid from her hand. It's bloody, the liquid drips from it as he lifts it up. He wipes some of it off on his shirt before handing it to you. He drops it into your open hands.
He speaks, knowing you'd have a hard time understanding. "Laying her slutty hands on my angel..."
You lean into his touch when he caresses your face. His eyes gaze at you, softening, his smile widening at how soft your eyes look. You're his greatest treasure. He gets off immensely from protecting you, he would ravish you to death in this moment if he could. Valentinos eyes drift down at the body and his pupils narrows as he glares at the dead woman. He's going to have to clean this up. Her blood is getting every where.
One of his thumbs rub against your cheek, touching the bloody smear. It stains your skin in a delectable way. So perfect.
He melts when he sees your soft eyes slowly start to match the mischievous smile growing on your face. He protected you and he was open about being dithered over her behavior, he didn't laugh at it or tease you about it. You don't doubt for an instant that he's the man of your dreams. He killed someone for you in an instant.
When you take his thumb into your mouth, sucking the blood, his spine straightens. He pulls away immediately and turns around, yelling at the his workers that filming will be cut short today.
He just can't wait any longer to spend some lovely time with you.
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