#this is really not that serious I just had some shit to get off my chest
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The moon is pretty, isn’t it? ✧ CS
───~𓆩♡𓆪~───
bsf!chris! Could’ve, would’ve, should’ve—all the possibilities kept eating at you, until he showed up knocking on your window unannounced. [angst, smut, fluff, a sprinkle of everything]
wc. 1.1k
note. English is not my first language!
You and Chris had a falling-out.
You had accidentally laid your feelings bare during a harmless game of 'Truth or Dare'. The look on his face alone made you feel that twist in your gut, but what he said after his silence made your stomach feel like it was dropping down 10-stories.
"Are you fucking serious with me right now?" The almost mad sounding tone made your heart beat faster as you tried to backpedal, "no, Chris, that was–" he cut you off, standing up, looking pissed. "I’m going home, can’t fucking believe this shit," he stormed out before you could utter another word.
The front door slammed shut after him and you sat in silence for a while, your brain unable to comprehend what had just happened. When the realization finally dawned over you, you couldn’t help the tears from forming in your eyes nor the painful clump in your throat.
Not only did he reject you and get angry at you, he left as well. Was he that angry? Were your feelings such a bad thing? Questions swirled in your head like a broken record.
You didn’t know what to do, what to think or what to say. All you could do was sit there and cry, completely shocked with the turn of events. Some people may call you oversensitive or dramatic, but they don’t know how much it hurts—how much more painful it was than any physical injuries.
You curled up in bed, thinking about everything that you could’ve done differently, everything that would’ve been if you didn’t tell him about your stupid crush on him and everything that should’ve been – in your selfish fantasies.
𓆩♡𓆪
You had fallen asleep on your bed after crying. Feeling slightly better but your sleep was plagued by memories of his face, the way he reacted to your feelings and the words he spoke.
You were jolted awake by the sound of knocking, looking around in confusion as you sat up on your bed, only to see Chris looking at you through your window.
You nearly had a heart attack, staring back at him with wide eyes and your hand on your chest. After all, your room was on the second floor, how the fuck did he climb up?
You scurried to the window, opening it to let him in, all the previous hurt gone, replaced by pure bewilderment. His expression turned pained when he saw the dried tear streaks and red puffy eyes, "don’t look at me like that." You blinked, finally realising you’ve been staring at him with wide eyes and a gaped mouth, quickly closing your mouth as you schooled your expression.
"What was that?" Chris sighed, "what was what?" He questioned back, "how the fuck did you climb up? Better yet, why the fuck are you climbing in through the window?" He rubbed his temple, looking frustrated, "look, I knocked on your front door but you didn’t open it, just forget about me climbing in and let’s... let’s talk about—"
You cut him off with a stubborn "no" , he blinked, surprised at what he was hearing, "what?" He asked confused, making you repeat yourself, louder this time, "no." He looked at you bewildered, like he couldn’t believe he was hearing what he was hearing.
"Don’t be a brat," Chris inhaled deeply before continuing, "listen, I know I reacted a bit too dramatically and I’m sorry for that, but you have to understand how surprising it was for me," you scoffed at his words, eliciting a heavy sigh from him.
"Please, just..." His voice trailed off into another sigh, "I can’t... I mean, we shouldn’t," his voice was barely above a whisper, the uncertainty and vulnerability in his eyes caused your heart to race. "Why?" A simple question really, but the answer wasn’t so simple.
"Because..." His voice trailed off, knowing he doesn’t have a good excuse as to why they couldn’t, "because we’re friends." That made your expression harden, "right, of course Sherlock, I know." Chris groaned, "you’re not making this easier—" you cut him off, "and you’re being insensitive."
"Don’t be like that, i just..." he trailed off again, biting the side of his bottom lip nervously, he was fighting a losing battle between what he wanted and what was the better choice in his opinion. "Please..." you looked at him, "please what? What do you want me to do Chris? You know what, never mind—"
His eyes widened at your dismissive tone, realising he might lose you if he wasn’t honest, "no, no, I’ll— we’ll—fuck, let’s do it." He stammered, making you pause, "what?" He quickly added, "let’s date." You looked at him for a good minute, "what?" You asked dumbly, "let’s date," he repeated himself.
"Are you serious? You were just saying you won't and can't when i asked you just now," you raised your eyebrows, completely taken aback, to which he let out a quiet chuckle to. "I know, I just realised something, forget about it and come here," he pulled you closer, and you eagerly complied.
He hugged you tightly, "I realised I couldn’t fight it anymore, you’re too important to me, I can’t lose you no matter what," you let yourself melt in his embrace. "You serious?" You whispered into his chest, nuzzling into it, making him laugh softly. "Yeah, dead serious." You sighed, in relief and contentment.
Suddenly, he walked backwards with you still in his embrace and plopped on the bed, taking you down with him. "Hey–" he shut you up with a kiss, a soft chaste one, and you smiled into it, your heart feeling lighter and warmer.
As you deepened the kiss, his hands wandered over your body, inching down to squeeze your ass before smacking it gently. The sudden feeling made you squirm, causing you to grind on him, making him let out a small groan into the kiss.
You could feel the heat and hardness under you, the only barrier being your thin clothes, and the friction was almost too good to stop. Your hips rolled as you chased after that friction, only for Chris to hold your hips in place.
Groaning as you broke the kiss, "why?" you whined breathlessly, "I wanna feel you, can I?" He whispered, playing with the waistband of your sleep shorts. Nodding as you helped him take off your sleep shorts, followed by his sweatpants.
𓆩♡𓆪
Your world blurred as he fucked you senseless, you didn’t even remember how or when you got into the doggy style position. Your orgasm crashed over you for the nth time tonight, gasping as you tried to control your loud moans, your wrists were pinned on the small of your back by Chris as he pounded into you. "Fuck—so beautiful, ma."
As you two lay in each other’s embrace, content and relishing in the afterglow, you couldn’t help but make a comment about the full moon glowing brightly in the darkness of the night.
"The moon is pretty, isn’t it?" Chris chuckled softly, pulling you closer, nuzzling his face in your hair, "yeah, as pretty as my girl."
𓆩♡𓆪
wc. 1,183
Isa's notes. I know my fics always end with smut or something suggestive... I try to make it any other genre, i really do, but the voices— lmaoo I'm js fucking around, i just like me some smut 🎀
xoxo 𓆩♡𓆪
Masterlist 𓆩♡𓆪 Taglist
Taglist: @strnilolover @mattsfavoritestar @sophand4n4 @tpwktahlz @lilyyliloo @slut4angstt @pvssychicken @poolover123 @loud-sturniolos @inlovewchrissturniolo @queenshet @chrisstopherfilmed @billiesbabya
© sweetshuga
#chris sturniolo#smut#blurb#chris x reader#chris x you#fanfiction#chris sturniolo smut#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo blurb#christopher sturniolo oneshot#christopher sturniolo blurb#christopher sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo oneshot#chris sturniolo fanfic#christopher sturniolo fanfic#smut oneshot#oneshot#fanfic#chris x y/n#sturniolo triplets#nick sturniolo#matt sturniolo#sweetshugacs#𓆩♡𓆪sweetshuga
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Shits and Giggles
You and Logan get drunk together and get caught by Xavier.
professor logan howlett x professor fem!reader - established relationship (y'all married), cute, fluff, teasing, no y/n used, no reader description, your an english professor, logan is a history professor - imagine days of future past logan with the white streaks in his hair
read on ao3 or find more parts for the series: here
“I’ve lost count of how many I’ve had,” you giggled, waving the half-empty beer bottle in your hand like it was some kind of trophy. The world felt a little off-kilter, the living room spinning just slightly as you leaned against Logan on the couch.
Logan, slouched back with his legs stretched out and another empty bottle at his feet, glanced over at you, his lips curling into a lopsided grin. “Sweetheart,” he slurred, his words tinged with a hiccup, “I think we both gave up on countin' somewhere between… hell, I don’t even know.”
You snorted, dissolving into another fit of laughter that made your shoulders shake. “Between 'hell' and 'I don’t even know,'” you echoed, the absurdity of it striking you as the funniest thing in the world. “That’s gotta be at least… five?”
Logan chuckled, shaking his head as he reached for another bottle on the coffee table, nearly knocking over a half-eaten bowl of pretzels in the process. “Five? Try ten,” he shot back, popping the cap off with a quick twist of his wrist. “You’re lightweight compared to me.” He took a swig, then glanced sideways at you, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “Remember when you tried to out-drink me that one time?”
You burst into laughter again, nearly spilling your drink. “Oh my God, yes! I thought I could handle whiskey,” you said, still giggling as you shook your head. “And then I ended up singing 'Bohemian Rhapsody' on the pool table.”
Logan snorted, his deep laugh rumbling in his chest. “Yeah, you were ‘Galileo’-ing so hard, I thought you were gonna fall off.” He pointed at you with the neck of his beer bottle, his grin widening. “I’ve never seen anyone get that passionate about Freddie Mercury.”
“Well,” you said, trying to compose yourself but failing as another hiccup escaped, “Freddie Mercury is worth the passion.”
You both dissolved into another round of laughter, so loud that the quiet mansion seemed to echo with it, the kind of laughter that left your sides hurting and tears forming at the corners of your eyes. It felt like the whole world had shrunk down to just the two of you—your private little universe of bad jokes and too many drinks.
Logan wiped a tear from the corner of his eye, still chuckling. “We gotta be the loudest drunks in history,” he murmured, his voice low and amused. “Pretty sure we just woke up half the neighborhood.”
“Hey, it’s not our fault the living room has such good acoustics,” you said, hiccuping again, then letting out a laugh that quickly turned into a snort. “Plus, if the mansion was really soundproof like Xavier claims, we’d be fine.”
As if on cue, Xavier wheeled in, looking every bit the stern headmaster despite the lateness of the hour. His brows were raised in a mixture of amusement and disapproval. “And what, may I ask, is the cause of all this ruckus?” he said, his voice calm but carrying that unmistakable tone of authority.
You clapped a hand over your mouth, trying—and failing—to stifle your laughter. “Professor!” you said, eyes wide as you tried to sit up straighter. “Uh, we were just… um…”
“Studying the effects of… alcohol on… something,” Logan added, attempting to sound serious but breaking into a grin halfway through the sentence. “Purely scientific. For… education.”
Xavier sighed, shaking his head as he looked between the two of you. “At this hour? In the middle of the living room?” His lips quirked slightly like he was fighting the urge to smile. “You do realize there are other people in this mansion who require sleep?”
You bit your lip, trying to look contrite but still giggling. “Sorry, Professor,” you said, though your voice wobbled with barely contained laughter. “We’ll keep it down. Pinky promise.” You held up your little finger as if to seal the deal.
Logan glanced at you, then back at Xavier, and without missing a beat, extended his own pinky in a solemn gesture. “Swear on it,” he said, the grin still tugging at his lips.
Xavier shook his head again, a hint of a smile breaking through his stern expression. “I suppose I’ll let it slide this time,” he said, turning his chair toward the door. “But if I hear another rendition of 'Bohemian Rhapsody,' you’ll be on kitchen duty for the rest of the month.”
As soon as he left the room, you and Logan exchanged a look before breaking into laughter all over again, doubling over as you clinked your bottles together. “Kitchen duty,” you gasped, wiping tears from your eyes. “I can’t even make toast without setting off the smoke alarm.”
Logan’s deep laughter echoed through the room once more as he reached over to pull you closer, his arm slipping around your shoulders. “Guess that’s one more reason to behave,” he said, his voice still rough with amusement. “But I gotta admit, darlin’, there’s nobody I’d rather get scolded with.”
You leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder as the laughter finally started to die down, leaving a warm, fuzzy contentment in its wake. “Likewise,” you murmured, your voice softened by the alcohol and the comfort of his warmth. “We really are a bad influence on each other, huh?”
Logan chuckled, his fingers gently brushing through your hair. “Maybe,” he said quietly, “but I’d say we’re a damn good time.”
#fluff#logan howlett#wolverine#x men logan#x men wolverine#james logan howlett#marvel#hugh jackman#logan howlett x you#logan xmen#logan wolverine#charles xavier#logan howlett x fem!reader#days of future past#professor logan#professor logan howlett#fluff and humor#the wolverine#logan howlett fluff#james howlett#fluff and romance#logan fluff
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A needlessly thorough review of DATV so I can move on with my life:
WHAT I LIKED:
The story pacing flows better without all that open world slog from DAI I am not bombarded by 50 side quests that have no baring on anything other than rp flavor
The game is pretty, CC is nice
They gave you far more opportunities to flesh out your Rook's background than in DAI and da2 but it's not as fun has having a mini origin story from DAO
no fall damage and if u run out of a combat zone ur companions follow u too
Hossberg wetlands really remind me of dragon age awakenings and I like the way the blight looks there, it gave me a nice nostalgic feeling for the older games
WHAT I DID NOT LIKE (IN DETAIL)
Voice Acting & Dialogue
It is really hard to be invested in a game that feels the need to recap everything you just experienced from 5 minutes ago, (verging on insulting my intelligence) and the silliest part is while i do hate this I got so checked out after act 2 I needed the recap
A lot of the dialogue and banter is just empty small talk and meaningless pleasantries that sucked the life out of me, had me longing for the days of hearing Ohgren's beer belches reverberate off the walls in the deep roads:
Voice acting is really consistent, I hated it when you never knew how your inquisitor would sound in DAI sometimes too serious for a funny comment or like yelling at Cassandra and cullen over nothing - Rook is more consistent but it comes at a loss of personality every line is uttered in the same annoying tone that had me being like damn can he stfu already (da2 was ideal voice acting for me if they cant deliver that again just go back to a voiceless protagonist)
Me whenever my rook opened his mouth: i was getting violent on that skip button
The dialogue between rook and their companions holds it back from being enjoyable at all really- here's some examples:
Emmerich's personal quest in act 2: "I want to do this immortality rite it's a very high honor in my order but rook I might die in the process permanently, I am an orphan and afraid of dying" Rook: "You could die?!?! That's awful". In Origins you can have a conversation with Wynn about her inevitable death and respond in a manner similar to rook and Wynn teases you by saying "well i'm not going to live for ever dear" it made me smile and sad about not being able to really help her. Did not feel that way Emmerich though, Im so uninterested in him as a character my response and feelings are "old people die all the time" and then 'wait why the fuck haven't you done this immortality ritual yet instead dragging me over here to collect some flowers"
Companions & Romance
the flirt options aren't all that flirty, its just rook being nice, all the romance content seems behind a 'romance locked in' moment (that comes in so late in the game u already forgot who u were even flirting with at times) so you can't hop ur way from one bed to another before deciding on 'the forever one' (remember when I could ride the iron bull then break up and be with Cullen- I don't think that’s an option here)
The companions are all pretty forgettable, I did everyone's personal quest (with the exception of Taash tried to kill a dragon for them n failed so bad i just moved on) and forgot there was even an approval system with them or that I was supposed to pick choices for them. It felt like i was on a train going in one direction where it did not matter what I said or did to them they would be fine. It’s like I've lost and gained nothing by doing these quests. The deepest thing I learned about Emmerich is that he is a 50 yr old orphan scared of dying. And it makes me not care all that much about them beyond “I just need you to function enough to get me to the end of the game sure Taash embrace being Rivaini, yes Harding live peacefully w that Titan shit inside you idc… Lucanis..ahh what was ur issue again I forget”
I made Lucanis live peacefully with Spite (stuck as an abomination that's supposed to be as volatile as Anders & Justice) Let Emmerich become a lich and no one batted an eye. Everyone just heehee haw hawing over Emmerich's new skeleton form and I forget about spite a lot unless he comments on something i've killed. Was there supposed to be some moral quandary? to make Emmerich a lich I had to "kill off" Manfred... the walking skeleton who might as well have been a rock with a pair of googly eyes attached to him for all i care
I don’t want to help Bellara light funeral pyres in a puzzle game play style that isnt a deep message about death. I want Aveline's speech about reading her favorite book to her dying father after hawke lost thier mother.
For Neve's romance, it took the whole world falling part and everyone dying for her to kiss me for a 2 time and then pity fuck me and afterword she’s like I’m leaving don’t want to be too distracting. All these lines carry no weight like bad actors w no chemistry
jaw on the floor comparing this (first time I said "i love you" to neve)
to the first time I said it to cullen and how he treats u before the big battle
I get that she isn't lovey dovey but at 70 hrs in and 2 kisses it feels like she just dont love me </3
Combat - as a spellblade mage*
combat was this weird mix of sometimes fun sometimes a new and unique form of human torture (wydm press shift 4 times n hold down e then press V C and 2 IM ON A KEYBOARD!) Once u make it past level 20 u are immortal but ur enemies are sponges I dreaded every single dragon fight despite that being my favorite thing to do in DAI. Don't ever want to see another Ogre in my life they body me into corners that hitting space can't save me from.
At some point u just gotta run around the place a lot hoping ur companions can do the damage for you bc the mobs aren’t interested in them at all. i was spamming 2 n slamming on that E key hopping it would be over n done with already, If i wanted to play a flashy monster hunter game, well then id play tw3 at least that combat is fun.
Lore & Story building
At the end of Trespasser, I was under the impression that the conflict in DATV would revolve around solas amassing an army of elves all over Thedas to rebel against the Evanuris. He had a whole network of Spies working against the Inquisition and the Antaam, and planned to restore the elven people, upend their religious views, and try to tear down the veil as a way of atonement. So I was understanding of there only being 3 import choices ( 1- who you romanced, 2- Save or redeem Solas 3- Disband or Keep inquisition). But that's not the story we get; instead its this??
The veil jumpers are like engineering mages with no ties to Solas beyond being an elves. There is no religious struggle they just seem to accept that these Gods have always been evil and need to be stopped. Solas is just a one man army trapped in the fade off screen for like 70% of the game. Should I have just kept the inquisition around after all? The only mention I got was my disbanded inquisition choice was inky going "my name still carries weight in southern thedas" and it seemed like disbanding or keeping it would have an affect on how easy or hard it would be to stop Solas but no it really doesn't at all
“It doesn’t feel like a Dragon Age game”
A criticism I rarely take seriously because that can mean so many different things? Like what is it the atmosphere? The aesthetics? The “dArK fAnTasy” none of these things have ever stayed consistent in any dragon age game. And I’d say DA franchise lost its teeth/edge when dai rolled around it was pretty light in the world of dark fantasy
However…theyre kinda right this time around....
It doesn’t feel like a dragon age game because they removed a lot of the lore your were exposed to in the previous games to the point where this might as well be another game all together. (i am not even a lore nerd but i do need something there to feel like i am in a dragon age game)
Yes the city is named Minrathos you were are told of its cultural significance and history as the seat of the empire but looks like a shittier version of kirkwall (and I kept getting lost going around the map so I hated it even more for wasting my time) Honestly the city felt super high tech and out of place in a fantasy setting imo, I missed it when everyone lived in a wooden hovel in the middle of the woods.
There is no reason for the venatori to follow Elgarnan and ghilian'nan or for the Qunari either but it all gets hand waved away with "they offered us power"
Reading the Inquisitors letters made me feel like im in a spinoff game and the real story is happening somewhere else. And sad to like baby take me with you!! i want to save u from this nightmare
A lot of the factions are sanitized to the point of being boring Darvin's little 'we're warden we don't do blood magic that's just not right" baby I let the wardens sacrifice elves to Corphyeus 3 weeks ago :/
Qunari Culture
So the whole reason you were fighting the Antaam in DAI was because they believed you were in cahoots with Solas, who's whole plan to them is to sow chaos and disorder- that is a HUGE no no in the Qun so they see it as their sacred duty to stop you. The Qunari we meet in DATV mindless npc mooks who attack you not because your with Solas but because the Evil elven gos promised them uhh power n shit for stopping you. Like I know I did not just waste my time in DAI reading about how egalitarian the Qun is everyone is like a Hive, they depend on each other so selfishness is rooted out so wtf was going on in Treviso with these guys. A whole culture decimated down to being darkspawn mobs part 2
What made me never want to play another DA game ever again:
Everything you ever did in Orlais, Ferelden, Kirkwall is pointless. No matter what the last letter from the Inquistor is "yeah the blight reached the south Denerim is gone, ferelden is blighted beyond repair, we took back Skyhold but barely. The Venatori disposed of whoever you put in charge of Orlais and there's giant leviathans rising out the sea in Ostwick" There is no conclusion to this it's just the state of the world now
I cant even pretend my non solas romanced Inky is happy and safe after all this? My hof and Alistar might as well be dead for all that it ever mattered. I get that the devs wanted a clean slate but did they have to burn my house down and salt the fields? It feels so spiteful and mean, like they wanted to make a whole separate game and tack on the "dragon age" title to it for money. If they're not interested in the lore or world building why should I? it made me fully checked out of the rest of the story. Like damn idgaf about elgar'nan and the other one give me back Redcliff
TLDR I dont know if i should be sad that I still care about this or glad its over either way im blocking all datv tags n moving on
#datv#datv critical#dragon age veilguard#da posting#if it were up to me! it be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for this game to win GOTY#im doing this so i dont become annoying to the ppl that follow me and DO like the game <3 we can move past this
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Soul’s Desire [Ch. 33]
- Masterlist -
~~~~|~~~~
“Are you sure you didn’t hit your head when you fell?”
“We can go back to the hospital if you need to”
“I swear to God I’ll get Eunji fired, she went too fucking far”
“Want some more food?”
“How many fingers am I holding up?”
“You sure you’re not concussed?”
“Security stopped me from going onstage when I saw you fall”
“You have a bruise on your arm”
Chan was nice enough to allow you some much-needed silence on the car ride to Han and Lee Know’s dorm, but as soon as you two stepped foot in the door, the other seven of your soulmates swarmed you.
Soon, eight worried men were surrounding you, offering food, questioning you, or ranting about how they were going to avenge you.
Han knew half the reason you were upset was because of the backlash you were getting, so that was the main topic after the boys ensured you were full and well-hydrated.
“This is so fucking frustrating” Felix, the usual peacemaker, seethed. You noticed he and Chan spoke English when they were pissed. Their accents were heavier than usual as they ranted to one another, offering solutions to your problems.
“Baby we’ll take care of this, don’t even worry about it” I.N sighed, giving you a look of sympathy
“How so? It’s not like you guys can tell people to stop talking shit about me”
“I can” Hyunjin shrugged, “And I will. Fuck my idol image, I’ll do whatever it takes to defend you”
You smile, “I appreciate that baby, but that’ll do more harm than good”
“A dating rumor will start. Dispatch will eat that shit right up” Seungmin noted, “Then she’ll get more hate. Then the company is involved, internal investigations, hiatuses maybe”
Hyunjin rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, his irritation apparent but he nodded, agreeing that speaking out may not be the best solution.
“All we can do is let this shit blow over. I mean, people are talking shit but I saw a bunch of Charms defending me”
“I’ve seen some Stays defending you too” Han pointed out, “Actually, anyone with sense is defending you”
“There shouldn’t be a need to defend her in the first place. People are mad because she had a medical emergency. That’s so stupid” Changbin ranted
“People are stupid” Chan sighed, frustration clear in his voice, “What do you wanna do y/nnie? How do you want to handle this?”
Eight pairs of eyes stared at you as you thought about the question. Really, what could you do?
“It can’t be helped” You conclude, “This is just… one of the downsides of being an idol. It sucks but I just gotta deal with it.”
“I’m so sorry baby” Felix frowns, tears welling up in his eyes. You dubbed Felix the “feeler” in the group. Whenever you felt like crying but you didn’t want to let those tears out, he’d do it for you. Same for if you wanted to laugh, or scream. He gave you that relief.
“I feel like we can at least get Eunji fired” Han groaned
“She said it was an accident, plus I can’t blame her entirely. I hadn’t eaten anything the entire day, part of it was my fault too”
“It wasn’t a damn accident” Changbin huffed, “And don’t blame yourself for anything. However, I’m gonna make it my mission to make sure you’re eating and drinking like you’re supposed to”
You nod, knowing when Changbin is serious about something, nothing is going to stop him from doing it.
“You know what? How about we all turn our phones off and just spend time together? No outside distractions, and especially no social media” Hyunjin suggested
Everyone agreed, but you made sure to send a message to your members and manager, letting them know your whereabouts.
I.N. ran to the kitchen and came back with a large plastic bowl. It had little cartoon cats on it, so you knew who it belonged to.
“Everyone put their phones in the bowl. We’re having a soulmate bonding night”
“You sound like Felix” Minho rolls his eyes but is the first to hand over his phone. The rest of you follow suit, with Hyunjin being the last one to do so.
“Let’s pop some popcorn and watch a movie” You suggest, “I’ll pick the movie”
“Nuh uh y/nnie” I.N. protests, “You have a habit of picking sad movies. We aren’t crying tonight”
“Let’s watch a scary movie,” Seungmin says
“Hell no” Chan and Felix seem to say at the same time
“Romance then” Hyunjin smiles
It’s you who sighs this time, “Hyunjin, please. You know I adore you, but nobody wants to see Titanic….again”
“I say we watch an Action Movie,” Changbin says excitedly, “Jurassic Park?”
“We watched that last time” Han whines
“Let’s just do a comedy” Minho grunts, grabbing the remote and picking a random streaming service
You all settle on a random movie you enjoy and the boys have never seen it.
The spacious living room was filled with laughter, sounds of sneaky kisses, and the crunching of popcorn as your movie marathon went on.
At some point, the movies stopped, and you all had sleepy conversations that lasted way longer than they should have.
Before you knew it though, you were curled up in Minho’s bed, wearing only a shirt you stole from his drawer.
You slept in a starfish position, leaving Minho to sneak off to Han’s room to get a chance at a comfortable night’s sleep.
The rest of the boys went to their respective dorms, all giving you a kiss goodnight before leaving.
You dreamt of sunny days and starry nights, lying on the grass with eight familiar faces huddled around you.
It was the best sleep you had gotten in years.
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Arcane S2 Act 1 Thoughts
(SPOILERS AHEAD IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED IT YET PLEASE FOR YOUR OWN GOOD KEEP SCROLLING)
(you’ve been warned)
Episode 1: Heavy is the Crown
HOLY SHIT THE NEW INTRO FINALLY GIVING THE VIKTOR FANS SOME FOOD
Damn getting straight to it not only did Jayce fail to destroy the hexcore but he’s still weaponizing hextech (Caitlyn’s new rifle) great job buddy way to keep your promises
I genuinely thought Mel was gonna get assassinated during the memorial speech
I fucking love Maddie, she’s so damn adorable and I swear if anything happens to her I’m gonna lose my shit
JUST LET THE LESBIANS BE HAPPY
for someone going through the five stages of grief, Caitlyn looks really fucking hot
Episode 2: Watch it all burn
Damn okay I guess I didn’t want to be happy today jinx burying silco in the water- “have you had enough?” ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
Okay that kid Isha is 100 fucking percent dead probably by the end of act 2
Damn Caitlyn I’m pretty sure using poisonous gas as a chemical weapon is a war crime
Viktor comes out of the hexgoo completely butt naked and Jayces priorities are 1.) full frontal hug 2.) give him something to cover himself with
GODDAMN IT THEY TOOK AWAY VIKTOR’S GORGEOUS GOLDEN EYES
viktor, after going through a near death experience, immediately deciding to quit his job and peace out in the middle of a war is so fucking funny to me
That little gremlin Smeech getting ripped to shreds off screen by Sevikas new arm was the highlight of the episode
Y’ALL VIKTOR JUST BECAME FUCKING ROBOT JESUS
Episode 3: Finally got the name right
I mean seriously Caitlyn, using the Zaun equivalent to mustard gas to assist your raids seems really fucked up
I’m sure a lot of furries were very happy to see Mel’s cat-person informant
OH MY GOD WE FINALLY GOT A CAITVI KISS SCENE :D
Seeing Jayce, Ekko, and Heimerdinger nerd it out in a room was unexpected but actually really nice to see
OH MY GOD SEVIKAS REACTION TO BEING BIT IS TO FUCKING SMILE- GIRL YOU FREAK
Okay but on a serious note the little girl putting herself between vi and jinx was heartbreaking- this is a running theme that started literally at the very beginning of the show with Vi and Powder on the bridge, the wars between Piltover and Zaun are always at the expense of the innocent, specifically their children.
FUCK DAMN IT Caitvi was finally happening and then they go and get divorced why can’t we have anything nice
but actually Vi’s whimpers after being sucker punched in the gut by her now ex gf’s rifle were devastating ( okay that’s all my thoughts be ready to see a shit ton of reblogs )
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Sol literally already SA'ed MC in the old build it just wasn't as "extreme" or whatever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Using someone's hand to get off while they're asleep is SA because well. You didn't exactly consent to doing that yea? I really wish we had more extreme depictions of yans because. Well. You wouldn't realistically want a yan after you irl and people woobify the yandere archetype too much without considering just how fucked up and mentally ill a person has to be to be like that
People who are saying this is ooc just haven't been paying attention plainly and haven't put thought into Sol as a character and what lengths he would go to
(Excuse me dumping my thoughts my interest in this game returned with the new update and I like talking </3)
@rite-of-defilement
SPOILERS WARNING
Warning for mention of sexual assault.
Exactly. Guess people were fine with it as long as it was easy to ignore. But now that it's more clear as day, people are acting like it's the end of the world, and want it erased all together now.
I swear this might be a case of them loving a fanon or their own version of Sol more than how he really is canonly now.
And yeah, you don't want a real yandere after you irl. It's not cute like fiction, its real scary serious stuff. Which is why we safely explore and play with it in fiction, you know, in a fictional world and playground. Where we can have fun with it, and not get hurt or put ourselves in real danger compared to irl.
Agreed, I already knew from the beginning Sol was a fucked up little(tol) guy. The sleeping pills and breaking into your home to steal your stuff alone was enough signs. And even in the sfw version, the implications of what was happening or gonna happen. I felt were pretty clear...
One doesn't just drug someone else for just "innocent cuddles time". Some fucked up shit was going on there, just the screen went to black to let your dark imagination fill in the rest.
(It's no problem! I am in the same boat too pretty much. lmao)
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Not particularly involved with 911 as a whole, and only tangentially keep up with the show nowadays (#don'tfollowmefor911content). However, I have kept up with the BuckTommy storyline and occasionally dip my toes into Buddie just for a little fun in my life.
And I would just like to make a comment about something that really bothered me about the breakup that I haven't seen discussed much. Full disclosure, I was not a huge fan of Tommy. I wasn't particularly impressed with LFJ's portrayal of the character, and I don't think the writer's put real effort into giving his character/the relationship depth. But.
I would just like to say - as someone who didn't start dating until well after college (as in, did not go on a date of any shape or form or have any sort of romantic relationship with another human being). If the first person I dated had broken up with me because they would be the "first and not the last," I would have lost. my. f*cking. shit. I would have beaten them to death with a spoon.
It is a plotline/excuse that really grinds my gears. I just hate it. And yes, it's because it hits on a very personal issue for me.
I understand as an adult that first romantic relationships are not always your soul mate. Particularly, first queer relationships - when one person is newly out - are also about self discovery. So, yes, I get why this isn't totally unreasonable.
But I fully reject this idea that a fully grown adult, who is having a first relationship, should be treated like they need a "messy phase" . At this point Buck, like many other adults, is a fully formed person. I didn't date because I simply didn't meet anyone. My feelings for another person aren't any less real just because it was the first time it happened. And I don't need to date 100 people to make my romantic feelings valid or to fully grasp what I want out of a partner.
I don't really think the writers meant it to be this serious. I think they just wanted Tommy off the show and realized they hadn't really given him enough personality to justify some sort of meaningful breakup. But it feels infantilizing to me - like "awe, little baby isn't ready to really love someone". It won't read this way to other people and that's fine. However, the whole thing just kind of had me rolling my eyes in frustration.
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oh I have walked in on the funniest fandom thing Ive ever seen on reddit
r/silksong is a discussion turned shitpost sub for Hollow Knight: Silksong, a sequel to Hollow Knight that doesn't exist (yet(?)). my knowledge of Silksong’s development is kinda spotty, Im just here for memes. after 5-ish years, pretty much every post is either sharing edits of Hornet (hypothetical protagonist of the hypothetical game) and making fake teasers and release dates. these all go under the 'silkpost' flair, the sub's dedicated shitposting flair, to show that they are indeed bait and should not be taken seriously. this flair is very important.
other recent events in this sub include a presidential election, and the week where everyone pretended the game came out and posted fake gameplay. there's a lot going on here. the reason for the state of the sub is that Silksong updates from the devs, Team Cherry, are very few and far between. it's hard to have any serious discussion about a game that literally does not exist.
u/E1331 is famous in the sub for constantly making shitposts of varying quality, ranging from edits of the devs announcing releases and cancellations, the aforementioned fake game screenshots, and all the way to fanfiction about the devs losing their fucking minds. this guy's credited with keeping r/silksong alive.
these are all posted under the silkpost flair. everyone on the sub checks flairs before they even read posts due to the amount of fake hype being posted. everyone on the sub knows that these posts are jokes.
however, because it's always fucking something, isn't it, recently u/E1331 went and posted some fake screenshots of the devs shitting on other indie games, of which I only have the deleted post, as part of his usual posting.
some time later, he had to make this post:
no indication that this is a joke.
and the general reaction from the community:
and yea, I get it, those screenshots could've fucked up Team Cherry's reputation if people believed them. google AI is already scraping reddit shitposts to pass off as actual information, and misinformation spreads like wildfire nowadays. apparently google already says that u/E1331 was sued by TC according to a comment I saw. shit's getting weird. I understand why TC would go out of their way to wipe this from the internet when people outside of r/silksong might take the screenshots seriously, with no way to know any better, and slander the company. nobody can really blame them for doing this.
it's just really fucking funny.
also this was u/E1331's last post before the announcement:
#images#my rambles#hollow knight#hollow knight silksong#silksong#reddit#fandom#funniest shit Ive seen in a while#sorry if the formatting is a bit weird#Im on mobile#hollow knight: silksong#this COULD be a huge ‘you had to be there’ story#but whatever#I found it funny#archiving this kinda
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For those who are unsure of whether or not they really have the "sensitivity to cold" symptom of fibromyalgia, because you think that it's just you not being able to handle colder temperatures like other people, that's one way of putting it. The other way is, when it's winter and the temperatures start dropping, do you feel your pain more intensely? Do you feel like you have more problems with your joints? Is your partner always commenting how cold your fingers and toes are, but it somehow gets more frequent in winter? Those are other ways to consider being sensitive to the cold.
#just a little food for thought#I'm thinking bc I'm high af#I had to take an entire 50 mg gummy tonight because I had some serious fucking pain#I didn't realize it was going to be a consistent pattern of winter making me feel like shit#but here we are in year two of No Longer Ignoring My Symptoms#and I'm still questioning whether or not it's actually fibromyalgia#like I 100% definitively know what it is#I just still don't have the doctors sign off bc I hate phone calls and I'm getting new insurance next month#so I figure might as well wait to see if the new insurance covers any differently#things to look forward to with the new job#anyways I'm forever grateful I didn't have to jump through every stupid ass hoop my husband did when he went full time with my company#it's explicitly designed against people who aren't neurotypical and it's honestly the most bullshit program ever#no they don't give full time by merit in my company#I really only got the job because my file boss wanted me explicitly for her job when she retires#and I will be eternally grateful that she saw something in me that no other manager saw#anyways ignore all these tags anyone who reads this that found this in the fibromyalgia tag instead of my blog#fibromyalgia#>.>#kudos to those who read this far#your journey shall reward you with a small token of my gratitude#🐦⬛ a friend for you
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#hey like. not to be really annoying i shouldn't be doing this aged 32 but i'm really struggling#every time the weather gets cold i feel like i am entering winter with more and more despair#i am really struggling this time#every day is a struggle to get through#i'm losing my hair#i'm losing my reasons to live#i keep putting on a full face of makeup and clothes in my room at like 2am just to desperately try to feel human#i keep saying i don't know if I'll survive the winter and people keep laughing but I don't mean it as a joke#i'm sadder than i've ever been and everything feels like it's falling apart#whenever i get the chance to confide this in people i get told that i'm strong and i'm a survivor#and that i should do some shit to make me happy#and yea i can stave it all off for a few minutes with like a trip out or some makeup or something but it all feels like bandaids#for a serious wound that's going to go septic soon#like this isn't a way to live a life#i don't want to 'be strong' or a 'survivor' anymore i want to be fucking happy#i'm tired and promises of brief happiness between ever worsening pain feel almost patronizing at this point#i woke up the other day in the middle of the night and as soon as conscious thoughts hit my brain i almost doubled over#if i had been not on the first floor i think i might have jumped then and there#i want to be loved and feel like my love is worth something#i want a clean apartment of my own and a career that doesn't feel like it's designed to kill me#i'm 32 and still essentially feel like i'm living my life like a teenager#i want sun and suncatchers and healthy plants and a wardrobe that fits my clothes#and i want the will to actually get up in the morning#i endured all of this for so long on a delusional belief that things were going to magically get better#but i realize now they won't#i became aware of the bounds of my cage with no means of escaping them#i'm sick of living each day oscillating between numbness and grief i can barely eat i can barely work i can barely laugh#and no one's coming to save me#i'm agonized by the idea that this is maybe what life always is for everybody#is this how it's supposed to be
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y'all seriously overestimating just how much solavellan will even matter. you know the romance in DAI was a single cutscene right? where he dumps you lol. comparatively the least content by far. and this game isn't about the inquisitor. yes it's about Solas but he may or may not have this relationship with last game's player character so, it isn't going to be given center stage. I get being annoyed with the obnoxious chronically fandom-pilled online teenagers and Disney adults, but they do this bullshit in every single space they take up. just ignore them and the rage inducing algorithms of modern social media
instead of being pissed off that one of only two vital choices is whether the Inquisitor said to redeem or stop Solas, how about be pissed off that that decision presumably is what is going to colour your Inquisitor's personality, which now I am left to assume is one of two (.5 for romanced) people, the "redeem" version being you talk soberly about Solas and say shit like "I feel responsible for him... I wish I could convince him to change his mind... He is a good person doing bad things... So sad..." and the "stop" version being you talk aggressively about Solas and say shit like "I feel slighted by him... I wish I had never allowed him access to such resources... He is a bad person doing bad things... So callous..." Like can we instead please be angry that they don't care about respecting the individuality of our different game experiences? This is not about Solas. And this is not about solavellan. It's about apparently the only thing mattering being a check in the box, when the actual experience of this *role playing game* is not universal. Not every inquisitor is going to feel about or respond to Solas in the same ways, even within the confines of solavellan, even within "stop" or "redeem". Like, I have lavellans that romanced him and would treat him kindly, I have some that would treat him bitterly, some that would treat him angrily, some that forgive and some that are furious. Do I get to experience these different possibilities? Apparently not. And it has nothing to do with solavellan. That being a part of the story is not the reason they've limited the flavours here to either one or the other. We shitting on Solas/solavellan now just bc of the most obnoxious voices you could possibly imagine? Ok cool
#i guarantee you it will yet again be like three differences in dialogue. if you were with him for trespasser you had one extra wheel and#and a different animation for him removing the magic. you got: a slight variation to the content within extremely reasonable#parameters for 'talk to go either in negative approval positive approval or a romance path'. like. what do you think is really gonna happen#you honestly believe theres gonna be Inquisitor content and then +150% more if you're a solavallen ???? be serious.#it would SHOCK me if we even got an additional cutscene with the man. i am going into this with the reasonable assumption#that it will be handled much like trespasser. and you again. get slightly different dialogue in like two segments of the conversation#me not being able to select my Inquisitor's dialogue in a scene feels to me that theyre not gonna touch much. they barely said shit w Hawke#who had completed story arcs....the solavellan thread was not tied up so leaving that up to auto dialogue feels insane to me#i have to fuckin wonder man. some of yall seem to think we're gonna have to running around as inquisitor and talking to ppl as inquisitor#this whole damn time. and in no way has any marketing given this impression for any second. the opposite in fact. the inquisitor is gonna be#a fuckin statue in the lighthouse ok#you'll probably have your intro couple of dialogue trees exactly like when hawke shows up at skyhold#and then they just chill there and go “solas sucks” when you pester them if they went Stop or go “solas needs help” for Save#until the climax when he finally busts out thr fade and you're gonna go have your big final fights and decide his fate#then they'll be like “im also here btw” and here if theyre solavellan they'll be like “solas it's our last night on earth can we smooch” and#if you've been getting the Solas is Fine Actually ending they walk off. and then the next day you have the same boss fight you always would#like come the fuck on i mean yall. dude inquisition is RIGHT there. and they did FUCK ALL with hawke!!!! inquisitor is not going to matter#so can we just. shut tf up? why are Solas fans the ones putting this bullshit all over my dashboard. like. just ignore the fuckin assholes.
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Had a moment of "Why do I feel so melancholy haha" and then I remembered that my uncle literally died yesterday
I've been compartmentalizing like crazy I guess
#speculation nation#negative/#death/#we arent holding the funeral immediately bc he wanted his body donated to science#so im still in colorado and im just. here for the duration of my trip.#trying to enjoy myself. doing some insane emotional acrobatics to stuff that shit Down#helps that it doesnt really feel real. im all the way over here. all i have is the word of my sister to know anything's different.#so im here. im existing. even acting approximately normal.#but things still feel a bit off-kilter. the stress lines of a container being pushed further than it should be.#and a passive longing to be with my family.#im going to be meeting my girlfriend's family today. just as we'd been planning.#and it feels a little wrong. the wrong family for me to be going to.#but im not Going to that family. im going to this one. bc that's what we had planned.#backing out wouldnt get me to see my own family today. so im staying true to my promise.#i just might end up a Little emotionally exhausted from the effort of pretending everything's fine haha#im good at it though. i really am very good at it.#also helps that i knew this was coming. with Cassy it went down in a matter of days.#i knew he was Dying an hour before it happened. it was abrupt and frankly kind of traumatic bc of it#just like with Sammy.#with my uncle it's a deeper level of serious. a deeper change to the foundations of my life.#but... ive known this was happening for almost two months now. it was a rapid decline but i'd already started grieving.#spending the past few weeks visiting and preemptively grieving. watching him decline more and more.#seeing him two days ago and seeing how Bad it was. and knowing he didnt have much longer...#i knew it was going to happened. id hoped it wouldnt happen until after i was back from my trip.#but he's gone and im still here. and the plans move on.#time to compartmentalize and forget. at least until i'm alone again.
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the day people stop analyzing the shit out of anything britney spears does and calling her crazy for goddamn anything will be so wonderful i will not be forgiving people for treating her like a different goddamn species tho ✌️
#Sorry got like actually pissed reading posts had to get this out because like oh my god??? Oh my god are you fucking serious#If you need context britney went to jack in the box and some random worker saw her crying in the car and went like#Awwww 🥺 everythings gonna be okay 🥺🥺🥺#And she didnt like that so she...posted about how she didnt like some random guy coming up to her and taking pity on her??? You know like#Anyone would? Like ive been in that situation and if youre crying in public youre already NOT having a good goddamn time and probably just#Want some peace to eat some goddamn burgers???????#Like sorry thats so gross to go up to a stranger and be like awww its gonna be okay like??? I dont know you fuck off ???#Obviously your opinion might vary but like Obviously britney felt that way#But because shes britney its not a normal response its proof she needed to be under a conservatorship??? Proof she cant control herself and#needs her license taken away??????? Like all fucking real responses i saw btw#She didnt even say anything to this dudes face she just posted about it????????.?????????#And if being mean to service workers was a goddamn crime you know the first people up are the ones currently calling britney out#With the SAME self serving condescending pity!!!!!!!!!!!! Like!!!! Die!!!!!!!! You didn't give a shit about britneys situation or mental#Health or ableism or anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#Sorry i really needed to get that out....feels good#Ableism#Ask to tag
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when I was around twelve I used to sit at the family computer and send hatemail to a white french dude named Jacques who was a self proclaimed communist on Tumblr. This was back in the day when you didn't need a blog to send anon hate. I had no real beef with him but I just didn't like his tone. used to send him "SHUT UP Jacques" periodically. and he'd answer every single one of my asks like "who is this?? show your face or I'll fucking kill you" and I'd be like "now now, that doesn't make sense, jacques" all haughty and he'd get so fucking mad at me. One time he posted a selfie and I sent him an ask claiming I was a psychologist and that his hair parting suggested that he wasn't a communist at all. and he took it deliriously serious and went off on a 2,000 word rant. I can remember going to stay at my grandparents over that weekend, so I didn't even respond to the rant until I came back. I could've chosen to end it there, but when I returned, I sent him another ask which was like "psychologist here again: if you were a communist your hair parting would be in the middle. evenly distributed. All behavioural signs point to someone who doesn't take their own values seriously." and he went ballistic. really swearing at me. all caps type beat. he never turned the asks off, btw. which always made me wonder if he didn't know how to, or if he didn't want to cause he was convinced he was fighting a war, and this action would ensure he lost it. anyway this went on for weeks until one day I completely forgot about him like he was some kind of childhood imaginary friend I'd conjured up in my loneliness. but yesterday I happened to recall the whole scenario, because my buddy was like "remember when you were twelve and I came over to your house, and you showed me on the computer how you'd been terrorizing this random French guy for days on end. And you were laughing like fucking crazy. and I said it wasn't funny because he probably had problems, and you were like 'oh.' and you looked a bit guilty for a second, but then you went and got a grapefruit from the kitchen and threw it out of the second story window at my kid brother, who was playing in the street, and then you started laughing again?" Well. when she put it like that, needless to say I felt bad. so Jacques if you're out there I'm sorry I was such a little shit. you had totally normal hair, and you only wanted people to share stuff. If it's any consolation I know every day of my life that I'm probably going to hell for the sick things I have done
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anyway i need to hang out with my brother again he is the one person who i am pretty sure knows literally everything about me so he's the only person i trust that i can absolutely not disappoint. nothing i can do could be worse than the sum of everything i've been doing to that poor man (and him to me) the past 19 years
#especially now that im back into literally the only interest we actually share on a deep enough level to enjoy it together LOL#i mean we were also both into hannibal but thats just not an enjoyable show to watch together its too much effort#but wow that time we read das boot slash fanfic on the bus together that was awesome#and the time we wrote fanfic together lol LITERALLY WHY DID WE STOP#he has only gotten cooler and more comfortable with his gayness since then we need to write fanfic again ‼️#anyway i feel sorry for every person in my life but i dont think anyone ill ever know could ever have as close a relationship to me as him#were platonic soulmates lol but like not in the spiritual sense bc its pretty obvious that its not some supernatural bond#its juuuust shared trauma haha and the fact that our trauma is so complex and layered that only we will ever truly understand each other#there has been a really rough patch where we practically did not talk for 4... 5? whole years im serious. maybe on the weekends sometimes#while we were stewing in our own shit. but now were inseperable i think it actually pisses off the rest of our family because every time#theres some event where we meet again (we live like 5 hours apart) we only hang around for like an hour before we get in his car#and drive somewhere and hang out there for the rest of the day and night and only return at like 3am drunk#in a sense i guess were catching up on all the missed time#to be honest we both had some horrible shit going on in our heads me with the transgenderism and toxic relationship#him with his anger issues and (what he calls) psychopathy. like ill say this much he was not a good person as a child he was a devil#he was quite literally what some describe as born evil like u know those satans spawns kids that cut off babys fingers and dissect rabbits#all that yk. and i was his first and most frequent victim due to availability lol and my parents did not know any of it and if they did#they ignored it. so yeah u can imagine the relationship was a little strained and for a long time i lived in fear of him#also due to all the death threats and attempts on my life HAHA its kinda funny because i can say all this all detached now#but i think to anyone else this sounds mad as hell. like im not talking roughhousing or being mad at each other#he was always scarily calm and hyperintelligent he was actually diagnosed with some form of like super high intelligence that#makes kids capable of being really manipulative and thats what he used at every turn. everything was always calculated that was scary#if he was nice to me i would question if he was trying to lure me somewhere to hurt me yk?#anyway. sometimes those old thoughts come back when were hanging out alone but mostly i know hes changed and worked on himself#sorry oversharing oh wow
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I'm such a coward. tried to at least get deep enough as a preparation to slit my wrists but I couldn't even get to the second layer. and it's not even like i don't like to hit styro, i'm just being a little bitch about it
#i'm queasy cutting at sensitive areas which has got to be the most inconvenient trait to have as someone who wants to#I can do it I know I can i'm just#being selfish#it's literally only my family holding me back and not even in a good way#the thought of me doing this and them finally knowing. and I either die and ruin my family or survive and get hurt#I'm so serious I would've already done this by now if it weren't for them. i'm afraid of what they would say what they would do#I only cause another problem for them and they can tell me how immature I am and I need to take more responsibility#suck it up you're gonna ruin your future#nothing's wrong with you it's all in your head#then blame it on my father somehow#punish me and now I really can't escape#it's an absolute nightmare scenario and it scares my subconscious enough to not be willing to attempt#if there weren't going to be people whom I know would further isolate and trap me afterwards if I make it...#they would never understand#I feel like if I do this I have to guarantee I don't make it. which is scarier. but shit I have to do something at some point#I can't. this can't be all what my high school life is going to be#I have no where to go. no dreams no goals#when has me ever doing something drastic ever made anyone listen#I try to run away no one listens. I try to kms no one listens. try to kms again no one listens. run away again no one listens#if i'm dying right in front of them will they finally listen#I'd had pills on me for months. I can end it at any moment#just one bad episode. pushed right off the edge. in the right scenario. I could impulsively do it#still remember when that happened. staring at the pills in my hand. I only didn't do it because I had things to hide and I only had 15 minu#there's so many times where I would've died had something not intervened
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