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rogerbriden · 5 years ago

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Dreamscape P5

Part 4

“Things really are a bit of a mess aren’t they?”

“...I think so...yes. But I don’t know why,” Roger had his eyes closed. He wasn’t sure why he had answered the unknown voice. It wasn’t exactly familiar to him. But it sounded friendly...calm. Like, maybe he could have heard it once, somewhere.

“Well...that’s how life is sometimes. Things get tangled up and confusing. But it doesn’t last forever. That’s the good thing about it all.”

He furrowed his brows and frowned a little harder before hesitantly opening his eyes to peek.

He was...at the table. In the kitchen, back home. Roger turned his head from side to side. There was the sink, there were the counters, and the fridge with all the magnets and the oven- It was all there.

In front of him was a big plate of cookies next to a kettle full of steaming hot tea, and two teacups set for two people. But there was no one around, only himself.

Immediately Roger reached for a cookie and took a big bite. Sugary, soft, warm...Everything a cookie ought to be (he didn’t care for crunchy ones.)

As soon as he reached for another, before finishing the first no less, he paused, the hairs on his neck standing on end.

There was another man sitting adjacent to him now, sipping at his own cup of tea and running his thumb over a datacron.

He had blonde hair and wore rectangular shaped glasses and a lab coat. He looked like a doctor, almost like the mean doctor from the hospital that Roger had met before several times prior...but...there was something different. Maybe it was his eyes. They were grey, but they were warm, almost golden.

Before Roger could gobble down the second cookie, he drew his arms in cautiously, holding it close to himself as he eyed the other man suspiciously. Walker always told him to be wary of strangers. Even if they looked like they could be nice people. Because a lot of them weren’t always.

The doctor, for lack of better identifiers, eventually looked up at him and smiled. “It’s all right you know. There’s nothing to worry about, so don’t be afraid.” “What’s your name?” “Liam.” He said, sighing almost but still smiling. “We’ve met once before. Not in person, but you met a part of me technically.” “I did?”

“You’re familiar with Jacquemont, aren’t you?” As if on queue, the little yellow bee-bot came flying over from seemingly nowhere, more than pleased to see Roger.

“Jacque!!” In typical fashion, he yanked the bot right out of the air and held him close (cookie still in hand as well,) Jacque letting out a series of ‘happy noises’ as his antenna bobble blinked rapidly and glowed brightly.

“There see? Best of friends even.”

Roger looked up towards Liam again, “I still don’t know what you meant when you said that we met before.” As soon as he finished his sentence, he squinted. “...Wait-”

“Are you surprised you remembered what I said only minutes earlier?”

“I-”

“You’ve come far, you know.” “I remembered-” Roger’s eyes darted around almost in a panic. They couldn’t find anywhere to settle at first, until Jacquemont squirmed out of his arms and flew around in circles above him. “But how? Why-” He tried to think about other things.

Some memories came, others refused to. Or maybe because there simply wasn’t anything there.

But the most important ones seemed to still be around. He remembered his room upstairs- all his things and where they were- Walker and Bell and Pepper outside, and the gardens and even the funny looking captain with his green hat and his coat.

And Mara, her too...and Acorn and Walker’s weird yellow friend who was very VERY tall and had a funny metal mouth, and the other Mordesh with the wild dark hair and green eyes who was also kind of mean...

They all weren’t as prominent as the botanist Walker however.

“I couldn’t really say for certain. Things can change on a whim, without any warning. And sometimes, they change again before you can even figure out what’s what.”

“So...so then- am I better? Am I better now?” Roger asked, sounding distressed.

He knew something was wrong with his head, deep down. Walker wouldn’t always say it- in fact, he never said it at all. But, he knew.

“Well,” Liam adjusted his glasses, "That all depends. Do you want to get better?"

"Well of course. It's not good being sick or...or having something wrong…" Just saying so made him anxious. "So… earlier you- you said we met and then Jacquemont came, are you INSIDE him?"

"There is a small bit of programming, yes. It's gone on for so long without being activated. I left it behind so Walker would always have a piece of me to talk to, to keep him company. But… perhaps it's made him too sad to do so." In turn, Liam also looked sad about it. "I would definitely apologize if I were able."

"Well we should go find him and tell him."

"We? Oh… no… he's already here. You just need to wake up is all. He's been absolutely worried sick about you."

"He has?" The anxiety grew.

From there, whispers began to tickle his ears. They sounded like a muffled voice, but they steadily became louder. Clearer even.

"...don't worry… I'm not going to leave you… it'll be alright… I promise… I'm sorry…"

That was definitely Walker's voice. Roger couldn't tell where it was coming from however. It was like it was coming from...well, all over really.

He looked to Liam helplessly. "Where is he? I don't like this anymore- this isn't home- it just looks like home. I wanna go home, there's nobody here and I don't know why!"

Liam gave him a sympathetic look. "I don't know any more than you do. But, what I can say is this. You really ought to wake up now. He's out there all alone, and he needs you."

Walker's disembodied voice grew more clear. "Everything's going to be fine...we'll go home soon and forget it ever happened-"

They'll forget…

Roger stood up, holding his breath. "If… If I wake up," He wasn't sure how he was going to at this point, "Will I forget everything again? Please.. I don't wanna forget… I'm tired of forgetting… I can't remember anything nice or fun when I'm awake," Tears were welling up in his eyes as he grew more and more upset. "I don't wanna forget…"

"We don't always have a choice in these things I'm afraid. We all do the best we can, and sometimes that has to be enough. At the very least… were you happy?" Liam stood up slowly, as if preparing to send him off whether he wanted it or not.

Roger thought about it, eyes downcast.

Was he happy?

"I-"

Feelings more than vivid memories came back to him. Nice hugs… never being alone...smiles and a few affectionate kisses here and there. The madness of being doomed to live on repeat.

But…

Was he happy?

"...If Walker's there with me then�� then…" He swallowed. "...I'm happy. I am. Even if I can't remember it. I want to go back home now… Please?"

Liam smiled sadly at him. "It's time to wake up now."

________

Walker remained slumped over Roger in the early morning hours. He had absolutely refused to be removed from the recovery room, and after a lot of fighting (and convincing from Mara) the staff had decided to leave him there like he wanted. Though he was to be closely monitored, of course. For security reasons.

His eyes were shutting themselves and his vision was swirling and fading in and out. He couldn't keep this up any longer. Days without sleep was taking its toll and never felt so close to metaphorical death. Not even Neil working him constantly drained him this much. That anxiety could never compare to now.

Walker held his head up again weakly to look at Roger, feeling him twitch briefly. Maybe now he would wake up.

Maybe…

Nothing happened.

Again he sank into somewhat of a crumpled heap hovering over the bedside.

He didn't care HOW long it would take. He'd wait until Roger woke up just like he promised. And then they'd go home, just like he said they would.

Even if Roger did just stare off into space...and do nothing else.

The guilt hit him like a truck again, and he laid his head down to cry. Again.

"Why did I do it… I shouldn't have- I should have just said no- they had no idea about anything they were doing-" The new experimental procedures, the new medicines, the new everything.

He was the one who turned Roger into a vegetable. It was his fault. And he could have died on the spot admitting that.

But he was still here. Still alive.

Jacquemont laid nearby on another surface, blooping a few times to signify he was recharged. Slowly and sleepily he hovered into the air before opening his eyes fully and zipping over to the two at the bed. He settled down gently next to Roger then, emitting little "purring" noises as he warmed up. That was new.

"Jacquemont what if he never comes back," Walker asked, or weeped. He wasn't sure.

Jacquemont made a questioning sound before his attention darted back to Roger.

Walker noticed and looked up at him. His eyelids were fluttering and his nose twitched.

"Roger??" Immediately he sat up and leaned in closer, holding his breath.

________

The first things he could see were lights. Faint lights that were blurry, but everything was starting to come back.

His hearing faded back in and he could hear Walker's voice. The feelings in his fingers and everything else came back too, resulting in feeling like he was made of lead, but he could also feel the botanist's hand over both of his much smaller ones.

And a hovering yellow ball off to the side-

Roger stirred some more, fidgeting almost. He wanted to move but found he could hardly do so. Instead he emitted a whine that may have been akin to a chorus of angels for the Mordesh in front of him.

"Oh my g- Roger- Roger it's ok it's ok- lay back- don't worry-"

That was Walker certainly. Pushing him back down gently so he wouldn't move. Why though?

He groggily turned his head to look to the side. This wasn't his bedroom. Where the heck were they? The panic welled up in his chest and he could not contain it. Immediately he choked out a sob.

"Oh no, no no no Roger it's ok, it's ok see?" Walker pulled him into a tight hug, completely smothering him. "It's ok… it's ok… you're ok…" He sounded so relieved, and he felt really hot. Roger couldn't figure out why.

Where the heck were they? And why did he feel absolutely terrible? He hated it. He wanted to go home.

Why was Walker so sad?

Where was he? Why did everything feel like it hurt…

Walker was really, REALLY sad. Or really happy. Roger wasn't too sure.

If only he knew where they were. It didn't smell like home.

He felt sore.

But… Walker was there. That was all that mattered.

#hey ow everything hurts #totally setting up shit as usual for bigger shit ogh what could this all mean #also walker wins the award for worst life ever

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vitalpen · 7 years ago

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A criticism of Persona 5

So I’m gonna preface this diatribe with three disclaimers:

First off is going to be the SPOILER WARNING. This post spoils the game all over the place as it needs to given the nature of the discussion. That’s why the read more is there.

Second, this post is long. Coming in at a lover 2000 words. So if you ready this, get ready for an essay.

Third: I love Persona 5. I played through it twice, did every social link, filled out the compendium, and beat the secret boss. It is a fantastic game with a fantastic story, loveable characters, beautiful art, and menus stylish enough to have their own fashion show.

That being said, there are things that it does with each character that I can’t help but sigh at in frustration. There are a few running themes for all of these that I’ll expand on at the end.

A lot of the issues come down to how a character is treated after their “important thing” is resolved. I’m gonna run down them in order of people entering your party.

Starting off, there’s Mona. Leaving behind how happy I am that he was not just another Teddy, there are points with Mona that make him out to be such a whiny little brat. Mainly, the section where he leaves the party because he thinks they’re getting too greedy. Rather than try to get them back on track, he drops them after one bad conversation with mostly just Ryuji (the rest of the party is pretty unclear on where they stand), thus leaving them with no supervision when they seem to need it the most. There’s also the whole constant insulting of Ryuji to the point where it’s eyeroll-inducing and the fact that backstory wise, he does end up being part way to a rehash of Teddy.

Actually, speaking of Mona insulting Ryuji, man that guy never gets a break. Despite the fact that he has a compelling backstory and motivation, after the first palace, he starts to lean pretty heavily toward the “punching bag” type of joke character. He’s the one that everyone (especially Mona) calls an idiot, he’s the butt of nearly all the slapstick, and he’s the one that gets harassed by the gay stereotypes with some really uncomfortable cutting to black (and that one’s an large issue all on its own). At the point Mona leaves (with poor justification) Ryuji, understandably, doesn’t want him back and is treated like the bad guy for it. Even when you aretrying to get him back, suddenly Ryuji is uncharacterisitically cold toward him. Even near the end of the game, when Ryuji does something incredibly brave and selfless, seeming to sacrifice his life, the game completely undermines it by having the girls beat the ever loving shit out of him when he makes the mistake of... surviving, I guess.

Now, Ann, aside from the way they pronounce her name. She is a straight up different character in her Social Link than she is in the main story (which is actually connected to another problem that we’ll get into later). In the story she is typically caring, usually level-headed, if easily annoyed, and loves sweets, whereas her Social Link turns her into little more than a ditzy blond with a penchant for competition that we don’t see anywhere in the main story. It creates this disconnectio between the two stories that’s really hard to reconcile.

Yusuke is window dressing. He does nothing substantial for the main plot after the second palace is done. The majority of his unique contributions could be summed up with deadpan, straight-faced joke moments (that are legitimately amazing every time they show up), dialogue that any of the characters could have said, and saying “yeah, that’s right” in the “every party member gets to say something” moments.

Makoto’s issue involves another theme that we’ll expand on later. Her relationship with her sister is incredibly unhealthy and never realistically addressed. It gets to point where she’s actually afraid of her. It isn’t helped when the rest of the party guilt trips her into installing a virus on her sister’s computer (one of the few moments that I think is legitimately bad in this game). How is this resolved? Once you do the palace it’s all just gone, despite you not stealing Sae’s treasure. No counseling, no baggage, no promises to do better, not believable progression, nothing. That’s not how that works.

Futaba has a similar issue. After her palace, she is just magically cured of her crippling social anxiety, as far as the main plot is concerned at least. She hangs out in front of LeBlanc, plain as day, totally fine, never having any issue in the main plot with other people ever again. No therapy, not even the slightest relapse or difficulty, no believable progression, nothing. I repeat: that’s not how that works.

Haru... poor, poor, Haru. She gets nothing when she should have had so much. She’s introduced at about 3/4 of the way through the story, doesn’t get a proper awakening to her persona and reveal of her thief outfit, never gets a moment of catharsis for her father and arranged fiance treating her like an object in the real world, nor any catharsis about dealing with the emotional trauma of her losing her father in a way that is as crushing as it could ever be, and eventually just ends up kinda telling the one who killed him that it’s no big deal. Everything about her just gets buried until you’re left with a Persona Q character, which is a game that has a serious problem with reducing complex, multifaceted characters to one-note personalities.

And then there’s Goro “I have daddy issues disguised as an interesting take on personal justice” Akechi. A character that was waaaaaaaaaaay better before the heelturn. The switch from morally aligned but methodologically opposed antagonist to mustache-twiddling, muhahahing, train-track-damsel-tying villain sucked all the depth out of him. They had a three-dimensional character that portrayed an interesting foil in both personal beliefs and public opinion of the party. And by the end, all of that was stripped away because you have to have a bretrayal in a Persona game, and he gets with nothing resembling a satisfying sendoff. The fact that he has essentially disappeared from the real world is never even addressed (this is yet a third thing that we’ll get into shortly).

All of these issues culminate in three specific themes.

The first is that the Social Links feel very disconnected from the plot. P3 escaped this because the party member Social Links were specifically tied to events in the main story and sometimes couldn’t be progressed through until certain events occurred. P4 didn’t have this problem because the Social Links all resulted from the personal issues that came up in their dungeons with their shadows, so there is connective tissue to the events.

But the Social Links in P5 feel so distant. Ann’s modeling stuff, Ryuji’s track team, Yusuke’s painting, Makoto’s friend, and Haru’s arranged marriage and coffee stuff, all have nothing or very little to do with the story. The only one who didn’t quite have this issue, is Futaba, who got the P4 treatment, complete with confronting and accepting her shadow to gain her persona. But even that deals more with her social anxiety than her acceptance that her mother’s death wasn’t her fault but actually an assassination. Because the Social Links, which are literally “character development as a game mechanic”, are separated from the story, it gives the feeling that they’re inconsequential. We never see the fruits of the character’s labor as they try to better themselves. As far the main story is concerned, they may as well have not happened. This is especially salient if you do the Moon social link, wherein you have to teach Mishima not to let the power go to his head, only to later have your party let the power go to their heads (or Ryuji at least, like I said earlier, it’s not super clear where everyone stands during that part of the game).

The second issue is that, for a series whose core themes are based off Jungian psychology (personas and shadows), it’s really bad at handling psychological stuff. They want to have the drama of things like:

“a character who has social anxiety and intrusive thoughts of guilt about her mother’s death that have haunted her for years”

“one of your party members has an older sister who’s her legal guardian, but is neglectful of her duties in that role and verbally abusive of that party member, thus creating a dependent relationship that revolves around trying (and failing) to gain her sister’s approval”

“After thinking that she may have helped turn her father into a better person who might love her as a daughter rather than an asset, in mid-celebration, a girl sees her father die on live TV and she may have been the cause of it”

But they aren’t prepared for the fallout that comes with those kind of elements. Social anxiety severe enough to keep you in your room is typically going to take more than just support from friends to rehabilitate from. Sae’s abusive tendencies toward her sister are explained by her palace, but they are not excused by it. The palace’s are physical manifestations of the point where someone can justify anything to themselves, not a mind control device. Nothing about Sae’s resentment toward her sister (that is doing everything she can not to be a burden) is given any kind of proper follow up. It needed more addressing than the NOTHING it was given. And don’t get me started on the rush job that was Haru.

Her father is killed in gruesome fashion, eyes literally rolling back into his head and leaking blood, after she thought she had saved him from his own cruelty, and for a period of weeks, it seems a lot like it’s her fault. She is left orphaned, and being pulled every which way by members of her father’s company in the void of power that’s left behind, once again turned back into an asset just after she thought she had escaped that. This should have been the mother of all gut punches. This should have been something that took her out of the game reminiscent of Shinji from P3. This should have given her a hate boner for Akechi twice the size of Aegis’s for Ryoji. This ruined her life just at the precipice of it getting better. In one fell swoop, victory was ripped from her and replaced with bitter defeat and loss. There was so much set up for her to have a character arc. But we never see her react to it. No crying, no depression, just back to her sweet, gardening self. To top it all off, like a month later, she forgives the person who killed him and betrayed your party in a passing comment during one of those “every party member gets to say something” moments. This is the pinnacle of emotional blue balls.

(Edit: @lightybulb brought it to my attention that Haru doesn’t actually forgive Akechi. She, in fact, specifically says that she can never forgive him. While it’s swept under the rug, I totally misremembered on that one. My bad.)

Pretty much all of this fits into the third main issue that Persona 5′s narrative has. It has a bad habit of not sticking the landing or following up afterward. Which sucks for stuff like Akechi, where he was built up the entire game, and personal traumas like Haru, Futaba, or Makoto. It sucks when it takes away a lot of the character’s depth like it did with Yusuke. It sucks when the villain backstory and plan is literally just told to you in an exposition the likes of which I haven’t seen in years.

This is not to say it never sticks the landing, as it very often does (more so in the first half of the game in my opinion), but there are a lot of key points where plot threads just kinda peter off into nothing or are wrapped up way too conveniently with a little bow on top.

There are ways to fix these issues.

You wanna connect the Social Links to the main plot? Lock ranks of party member Social Links behind story events. This intrinsically ties the personal growth to the main plot and lets them talk about story events. Events from the story can be used to kick of a conversation that moves it to the next level or draws a parallel to the personal situation they’re dealing with.

You wanna have satisfying and believable treatment of psychological issues? Understand that they are not just something you deal with in a few days or weeks. Understand that “the power of friendship” (Copyright Anime 1962, please support the official release) is not a substitute for counseling or medication. Understand that the road to recovery is long, arduous, and sometimes loops back on itself. It’s anything but a straight line.

There is no set remedy for sticking the landing and following up other than a pretty general good writing tip: don’t leave plot threads hanging and don’t introduce plot threads you don’t have adequate room to include.

Now as previously stated, I love Persona 5 and nothing I’ve said here takes away from that fact. But I also want to see the things I love do even better for themselves. That’s kinda the point of this post.

That’s pretty much all I got for this. If you agree or disagree, feel free to add your own arguments to this, I’m always down for a conversation. Cheers.

#random thoughts #persona 5 #persona 5 spoilers #criticism #discussion #persona 3 spoilers #persona 4 spoilers

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abramsbooks · 7 years ago

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HOW-TO: Knit the Sheep Sorrel pattern, designed by Pam Allen + a profile on Quince & Co.

An excerpt from Slow Knitting by Hannah Thiessen.

Open a back issue of Interweave Knits, search your shelf of knitting books, or simply glance through your Ravelry library and past projects, and I’m sure you’ll find something designed by Quince & Co.’s Pam Allen. From the publication of her first patterns in the early 1980s to her management of one of today’s most popular and prolific knitting brands, Pam has been a stable presence in a knitting market that has undergone vast amounts of change.

Pam’s earliest published knitting patterns appeared in Family Circle magazine. She sustained herself by publishing works and getting herself involved with anything knitting-related, including knitting swatches for yarn companies. She then moved into writing books (like Knitting for Dummies, which adorns my own bookshelf and taught me to purl, yarn over, and increase stitches), and she eventually became the editor in chief at Interweave Knits. Interweave combined many of Pam’s interests—fashion, art, history, research, construction, and instruction—into one neat package. She helped the company weather the industry’s move toward new Internet content offerings bolstered by the rise of Ravelry, the popular online knitting and crochet community, and the overnight boom of independent publishing. Afterward, she left Interweave Knits to pursue her interest in the making of yarn as creative director at Classic Elite, an established yarn company.

Pam enjoyed the process of coordinating and creating the new visions for each season of yarns, patterns, and campaigns for Classic Elite. During her time there, she got a call from a Texas mohair producer interested in making a yarn featuring his fiber. The fiber was wonderful, but like many large yarn companies, Classic Elite had long forgone using American mills to spin their yarn in favor of better pricing and higher production overseas. Regardless, Pam agreed to see samples. In talking to the mohair farmer, she discovered that a mill local to her in Maine was doing custom spinning, and she decided to do some research. While Classic Elite wasn’t interested in expanding to American production at the time, Pam decided to break away and pursue her new dream of becoming a yarn producer with the purpose of rejuvenating American textile production. She partnered with the mill owner, Bob Rice, and launched Quince & Co. in 2010.

Each and every yarn released through Quince & Co. goes through a design process that highlights the unique qualities of the fibers involved. Pam has pulled on her vast experience working with and selecting yarns to create beautiful versions of familiar things. Owl, a worstedweight, plump two-ply, is one of my favorite examples. Typically, Huacaya alpaca is spun to enhance the slinky, silky aspects of the fiber, resulting in yarns that have great drape, but may be heavy for use in larger garments. Combining alpaca with a special blend of American-bred wool, Owl is then woolen-spun, a method that adds air in between the yarn fibers and allows for warmth that is lofty and lightweight. One of the unique aspects of Owl is that each season, alpaca colors are slightly different based on the animal’s breeding, age, and coloration. This results in a yarn that while not consistent year to year, is truly special in its uniqueness. Instead of seeing this as a challenge, Pam has embraced these differences and introduces new colors of Owl frequently. (Although she does encourage those who knit with this yarn to buy enough for their garment all at once!)

Like the sheep’s wool used in Owl, the fiber used in all of Quince & Co.’s yarns is carefully considered and sourced, and not simply in the easiest way possible. After consulting with cotton farmers and discovering that growing and maintaining organic cotton standards wasn’t resulting in a premium product, Pam decided to go with Cleaner Cotton™ through the Sustainable Cotton Project. This process uses biologically based processes to manage pests and avoids compounds that create problems for natural wildlife populations, like honeybees. Unlike organic cotton, in which losses and waste create their own harmful results, Cleaner Cotton™ allows farmers to maintain the yields that are profitable without sacrificing the land’s quality and stability.

Six years after its start, Quince & Co. has become synonymous with beautiful, fresh design. Pam Allen has long since bought her partner out and expanded her production from a single mill to five, and has gone from making a handful of yarns to releasing new bases or colors seasonally (the current tally is thirteen yarns). While Quince may still be a fairly small company, Pam hopes it will continue to grow—she never intended it to be a boutique yarn, but instead hopes that someday the company may be large enough to support many farmers. More yarn means more sheep, and more sheep mean more open spaces, ranches, and farms that will not be turned into industrial development or construction. Open space is a commodity that cannot be regained, and Pam is passionate about maintaining as much of it in the United States as possible. Wool, as Pam says, is a living fiber that changes and grows, just like the industry that feeds it.

Sheep Sorrel

Who better to design a pattern than the person who designed the yarn? Pam created a simple hat and fingerless mitt set that celebrates the rustic beauty of Owl in high relief. The combination of basic knit and purl stitches used on panels is reminiscent of Guernsey patterning. Ridges of garter stitch and simple cables make these a knit that allows for yarn appreciation throughout the project. Since the stitches are approachable, these make a great group project that knitters of all levels can enjoy.

Finished Measurements Hat: 17¼" (44 cm) circumference Mitts: 7" (18 cm) hand circumference

Yarn Quince & Co. Owl [50% American wool / 50% alpaca; 120 yards (110 meters) / 1¾ ounces (50 grams)]: 3 skeins Mesa (2 skeins for Hat, 1 skein for Mitts)

Needles Hat: Size US 8 (5 mm) needle(s) in your preferred style for working in the rnd Mitts: Size US 6 (4 mm) and US 7 (4.5 mm) needle(s) in your preferred style for working in the rnd

Change needle size if necessary to obtain correct gauge.

Notions Hat: Stitch marker Mitts: Stitch markers; waste yarn

Gauge Hat: 21 sts and 29 rnds = 4" (10 cm) in Hat Pattern, using size US 8 (5 mm) needles Mitts: 19 sts and 34 rnds = 4" (10 cm) in Garter stitch, using size US 7 (5 mm) needles

Special Abbreviations LT: Slip 1 st to cable needle and hold to front, k1, k1 from cn. To work without a cable needle, insert needle from back to front between first and second sts and knit second st, then knit first st and slip both sts from left needle together.

RT: Slip 1 st to cable needle and hold to back, k1, k1 from cn. To work without a cable needle, skip first st and knit into front of second st, then knit first st and slip both sts from left needle together.

Stitch Patterns

HAT PATTERN (multiple of 15 sts; 4-rnd repeat) Rnd 1: *P5, k2, p6, k2; repeat from * to end. Rnd 2: *P1, k3, p1, RT, p1, k4, p1, LT; repeat from * to end. Rnd 3: *P5, k2, p1, k4, p1, k2; repeat from * to end. Rnd 4: *P1, k3, p1, RT, p1, k4, p1, LT; repeat from * to end. Repeat Rnds 1–4 for Hat Pattern.

MITTS PATTERN (panel of 12 sts; 4-rnd repeat) Rnd 1: P1, k2, p6, k2, p1. Rnd 2: P1, RT, p1, k4, p1, LT, p1. Rnd 3: P1, k2, p1, k4, p1, k2, p1. Rnd 4: P1, RT, p1, k4, p1, LT, p1. Repeat Rnds 1–4 for Mitts Pattern.

HAT

Note: Use your preferred method of working in the rnd.

Using Long-Tail CO (see below), CO 90 sts. Join for working in the rnd, being careful not to twist sts; pm for beginning of rnd.

Begin Hat Pattern; work even until piece measures 10" from the beginning, ending with Rnd 4 of pattern.

Shape Crown Rnd 1: *P2tog, p1, p2tog-tbl, k2, p2tog, p2, p2tog-tbl, k2; repeat from * to end—66 sts remain. Rnd 2: *K3, RT, k4, LT; repeat from * to end. Rnd 3: *K3tog, [k2tog] 4 times; repeat from * to end—30 sts remain. Rnd 4: *K2tog; repeat from * to end—15 sts remain. Cut yarn, leaving a 12" (30.5 cm) tail. Thread tail through remaining sts twice, pull tight, and fasten off.

Finishing Block as desired.

MITTS

Right Mitt Note: Use your preferred method of working in the rnd. Using smaller needle(s) and Long-Tail CO (see below), CO 36 sts. Join for working in the rnd, being careful not to twist sts; pm for beginning of rnd.

Rnd 1: P3, work Mitts Pattern over next 12 sts, p3, pm for beginning of palm, p18. Rnd 2: K3, work to 3 sts before marker, k3, sm, knit to end. Rnd 3: P3, work to 3 sts before marker, p3, purl to end. Rnd 4: K3, work to 3 sts before marker, k3, knit to end. Rnd 5: Repeat Rnd 3.

Change to larger needle.

Rnd 6: Work to marker, sm, k12, k2tog, yo, knit to end. Rnd 7: Work to marker, sm, purl to end. Rnd 8: Work to marker, sm, k11, k2tog, yo, knit to end. Rnd 9: Work to marker, sm, purl to end. Rnd 10: Work to marker, sm, k10, k2tog, yo, knit to end. Rnd 11: Work to marker, sm, purl to end.

Shape Thumb Gusset Rnd 1: Work to marker, sm, k11, yo, knit to end—1 st increased. Rnd 2: Work to marker, sm, purl to end.

Repeat Rnds 1 and 2 six more times—43 sts; 18 sts for back of hand, 25 sts for palm.

Hand Next Rnd: Work to marker, sm, k1, place next 11 sts on waste yarn for thumb, CO 4 sts over gap using Backward Loop CO (see below), knit to end—36 sts remain.

Work even until piece measures 6" (15 cm) from the beginning, ending with Rnd 1 of Pattern. BO all sts purlwise.

Thumb Transfer sts from waste yarn to larger needle(s), pick up and knit 1 st at left side edge of thumb opening, 4 sts from CO sts, then 1 st at right side edge of thumb opening—17 sts. Join for working in the rnd; pm for beginning of rnd. *Knit 1 rnd. Purl 1 rnd. Repeat from * until thumb measures 1" (2.5 cm) from pick-up rnd, ending with a purl rnd. Bind off all sts purlwise.

Left Mitt Work as for Right Mitt through Rnd 5.

Change to larger needle.

Rnd 6: Work to marker, sm, k4, yo, ssk, knit to end. Rnd 7: Work to marker, sm, purl to end. Rnd 8: Work to marker, sm, k5, yo, ssk, knit to end. Rnd 9: Work to marker, sm, purl to end. Rnd 10: Work to marker, sm, k6, yo, ssk, knit to end. Rnd 11: Work to marker, sm, purl to end.

Shape Thumb Gusset Rnd 1: Work to marker, sm, k7, yo, knit to end—37 sts. Rnd 2: Work to marker, sm, purl to end. Rnd 3: Work to marker, sm, knit to last 11 sts, yo, knit to end—1 st increased. Rnd 4: Work to marker, sm, purl to end. Repeat Rnds 3 and 4 five more times—43 sts; 18 sts for back of hand, 25 sts for palm.

Hand Next Rnd: Work to marker, sm, k13, place next 11 sts on waste yarn for thumb, CO 4 sts over gap using Backward Loop CO, k1—36 sts remain.

Complete as for Right Mitt.

Finishing Block as desired.

Special Techniques

Long-Tail CO

– Leaving tail with about 1" (2.5cm) of yarn for each st to be cast-on, make a slipknot in the yarn and place it on the righthand needle, with the tail to the front and the working end to the back. Insert the thumb and forefinger of your left hand between the strands of yarn so that the working end is around your forefinger, and the tail end is around your thumb “slingshot” fashion; *insert the tip of the right–hand needle into the front loop on the thumb, hook the strand of yarn coming from the forefinger from back to front, and draw it through the loop on your thumb; remove your thumb from the loop and pull on the working yarn to tighten the new st on the right–hand needle; return your thumb and forefinger to their original positions, and repeat from * for remaining sts to be CO.

Backward Loop CO – Make a loop (using a slip knot) with the working yarn and place it on the right-hand needle (first st CO), *wind yarn around thumb clockwise, insert righthand needle into the front of the loop on thumb, remove thumb and tighten st on needle; repeat from * for remaining sts to be CO, or for casting on at the end of a row in progress.

Like the “slow food” movement, Slow Knitting encourages knitters to step back, pare down, and celebrate the craftsmanship of their work. In five chapters centered around the tenets of slow knitting—sourcing carefully, making thoughtfully, thinking environmentally, experimenting fearlessly, and exploring openly—Hannah Thiessen challenges knitters of all skill levels to view their practice in a new way. Each chapter contains explorations of fiber types; profiles of well-known yarn types, makers, and yarn suppliers; and garment patterns inspired by the featured fibers. With contributions from knitting superstars Norah Gaughan, Bristol Ivy, and many others, Slow Knitting proposes an approach to knitting that is both minimalist and all-encompassing, and emphasizes what makes knitting a meditation, a passion, and a unique necessity.

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spootiliousrps · 5 years ago

Text

Suspicious Nature P5

[Beginning] // [Previous] // [Next]

Celeste nodded packed away her equipment, neatly folding Castiel’s garments. “Thank you, S-Cas.” She whispered, bowing low to him.

Cas bowed to her in return. "Thank You, Celeste." He returned before moving to get the door for her.

Celeste bowed as she left with her work. She left quickly, getting one of her workers to start on the trousers as she started on the tunic. She worked hard and precise tailoring the garment to fit Castiel’s measurements, before adding on the embellishments.

It wasn’t long before Gabriel and a few other men arrived with Castiel’s belonging. Naturally the smaller Omega had a lot to say about doing ‘hard labor’ but his feathers were soothed fairly quickly. Castiel escorted him down to the kitchens, exchanging a few words with the Omega in charge before leaving his brother. It would be strange being so far away from the man but he supposed it was bound to happen sometime though he had to admit he expected Gabriel to have found a mate by now… Then again there weren’t very many people that could put up with an Omega like him.

After Castiel had unpacked and he had started to have his supper there was a quiet knock at the door. Celeste, having done all that she could within the time restraints, had Castiel’s clothes folded neatly in her arms, waiting to be allowed in. She kept her head bowed, in respect, as she waited patiently.

Cas moved to get the door, peaking out before shooting the woman another grin and allowing her into the room. “I am very impressed Celeste. I know you said it would only be a few hours but… I still had my doubts. I hope you didn’t push yourself too hard?” He admitted as he moved back to his small table. “Are you hungry? Have you eaten?”

Celeste smiled. “Thank you, Si- Cas.” She said as he stepped into the room, she hung Castiel’s clothes up on the wardrobe, starting to straighten it. “I will eat once this garment is satisfactory, for you.” Celeste explained, “but thank you for your concern.”

Cas’ gaze moved to the clothing in question. “Celeste…” He mumbled in awe moving over to it. “This is perfect! This is so much better than I had in mind. You really are brilliant.” He managed before his hands shot up to start undressing, unashamed and eager to try on the new outfit.

“Thank you, Cas.” Celeste whispered, she laid out the sash separately, before turning her back to give Castiel privacy. “If you would like some help into your tunic, then I will help.” Celeste explained.

“That’s alright… The Knight Commander’s formal attire tends to be a bit more complicated than this and I’ve had to deal with that for years. I should be able to handle it.” He mumbled as he worked the buttons carefully. He moved on to the trousers, adjusting them carefully before slipping on the dark flats and pulling the dupatta into place. “Perfect.” He mumbled softly before moving past her to glance at himself properly.

Castiel stood examining his reflection in the mirror, taking in the sight of the clothes he and the tailor worked for the past few hours to create. He stood tall as he ran a hand over his tunic. It was a light off white with a seam that was a bit too intricate for an Alpha but not quite loud enough for an Omega. The high collar hung open slightly as was traditional for the larger status. The fabric clasped on his right side with simplistic gold floral clasps and ran low, just past his waist. His trousers bunched low at his ankles the large dark folds of flowing fabric wrapping around his calves before draping elegantly over his left shoulder a nod to the capes Alphas usually wore. He offered a pleased smile at the sight. It was perfect. He was not a typical Omega nor an Alpha which meant a mix of both suited him quite comfortably. All he was missing was the right bit of jewelry… Which he had never allowed himself and was fairly excited about.

He turned to the woman, still grinning. “What do you think?” He asked her pleasantly.

[The image should be similar to this for the trousers and sash:

While the tunic is a shorter version of this only in white:

For the future ones I pictured the same outfit only with the color contrast and embroidery of this one:

]

Celeste nodded, appreciatively. “It fits you perfectly, Cas. It’s not to baggy or tight, and the sash doesn’t swamp you, as I feared it might have. It is a beautifully simple Omega attire, that nods to both the traditional Alpha-wear for your class, as well as adding your own flavour.” Celeste offered. “I am proud to have it... modelled so well, as it does on you.” Celeste moved to her bag, a different much smaller one. “I’m sure His Majesty will explain broaches, and do it much better than I could ever imagine. But as a Royal Aide you must wear one. Am I right in thinking that you don’t have one yet, Cas?” She asked pulling out a gold broach fashioned into the Winchester Crest.

Cas was practically beaming with the compliments, a stark contrast to the serious demeanor he tended to show Dean or any of his men. Honestly the only one who had really seen him this way was Gabriel. It was just so nice to be able to do something like that for a change…

“Oh.” He mumbled snapping out of it as the woman began to explain the piece of intricate jewelry in her hand. “No, I don’t.” He admitted, stepping forward to examine it. He had seen them on the Aide’s clothing when he had attended many of the battle meetings with King John and his Aides but had never really taken the time to appreciate the craftsmanship of the things. “May I?” He asked politely, holding out a hand for the item.

“Of course.” Celeste bowed her head as she handed him the broach. “This is just a simple creast, but you will get one tailored for your class and positioned. You may wear it, if you’d like.” She offered, keeping her eyes on the floor. “I believe without the embroidery, it will give another little detail to your garment, to break up the stock colour.”

“Thank you, Celeste. I can have it returned to you as soon as you’d like.” He offered lifting to attack it to his dupatta, just below his right shoulder; low enough that when he gave his solute his knuckles would brush against the polished metal, another sign of respect to both King and country.

“Whenever your new broach is complete.” Celeste explained. “How about I leave you to your supper, and in a couple of days, I will return with a couple more of the same clothing, plus the embroidery.” Celeste explained. “If you would like any more clothes, either for professional purposes or otherwise, please don’t hesitate to speak with my assistant to book in an appointment.” Celeste offered.

“Of course.” Castiel replied with another large. “Thank you again Celeste.” He mused lightly before simply offering out a hand just like he would one of his soldiers. “You’ve been a really great help. I truly do appreciate it.”

Celeste blinked before taking his hand, tentatively. “I have been doing but my job, Cas.” She explained, before starting to pack her bag back up. “May I speak freely for a moment, Sire?” She asked.

“Of course, Celeste.” Cas acknowledged with a shrug. He knew he was perhaps being a bit to friendly but he had never allowed anyone to be around him behind closed doors unless it was absolutely necessary. He couldn’t risk an Alpha discovering he was an Omega or vice versa. The fact that he could now was… freeing… and daunting at the same time. It left him feeling a bit… giddy.

“What you have done, as an Omega. The decisions you’ve made, you are giving us all a good name. Painting us in a good light.” Celeste started, blushing lightly. “You make me wish to be better, braver. You make us all try harder. I am proud to be an Omega like you. You’ve proven we are not a second class citizen. We can be equals of the Alphas and Betas, if we are given the opportunity. Thank you, Sire. For providing us all the opportunity to prove ourselves.” Celeste said, he head bowed and her fist over her chest.

Cas… was at a loss. He stood dumbfounded as he stared at the woman, tears threatening him once more as he fought to push them back down. His smile faded, turning into a thin line, his stomach churning uncomfortably. “Celeste…” He whispered softly, stepping up to her, a hand moving to clasp hers. “I can’t tell you how much it means to me to have helped someone fight back, to be brave… I am moved. But… What I have done to be where I am was nothing more than survival. I lied and deceived every one… There is no honor in that. Maybe your right… maybe I have proven we can be equals with those who see themselves above us but it has come at a great cost to myself. I have no one… My life’s work is now gone I am…” He paused, eyes glazed for a moment as it truly hit him… finally settling in his chest, causing him to grow cold. “I… don’t know what I am.” He whispered softly before shaking his head as if to rid himself of such thoughts. “It doesn’t matter.” He mumbled. “What matters is that people like you… other Omegas… take pride in the fact that you simply /are/. I hide myself like a coward but you… /You/ have a chance to become so much more! The coming years are going to be difficult for all Omegas… The Alphas will not allow their world to change so easily. I hope you will still feel the same way when that happens.” He added, knowing that if Dean truly planned on making his claims a reality there would no doubt be rivers of blood in the streets. Hard times indeed.

Celeste flinched as Castiel reached out to her, forcing a whimper back down her throat. “Sire, many of our kind, we simply did not survive. We were killed because of who we are. Over something we cannot choose. But you did choose. You chose to fight. Even if this changes nothing out there. It changes everything in here.” She explained, tapping her temple. “You have shown us what we are. What we truly can do. And even if it is a hundred years from now, before there is change, everyone will know that you started it. You proved what our worth could be. You are many an Omega’s hero.” Celeste blushed as she remembered herself. “Forgive me, Sire, I do not wish to argue or keep you from your supper.” With that, she picked up her bag and bowed deeply out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Cas watched her go, unsure of what to do or say. It was all so very overwhelming. In a single day he had gone from Knight Commander… Alpha among Alphas… To… An Omega that was to be a Royal Aide… Hero to Omegas everywhere? He sank down into his chair, meal forgotten as it hit him, tears falling as he sank back into the cushions staring up at the ceiling. Everyone expected so much from him but he was just a man. How could he live up to it all? All he had done was what he could to survive… Did that really make him a hero? His mind wandered to the men he had fought with over the years; some deemed heroes others glory seekers. He examined each, trying to find an answer. Most of the men who managed the title of hero came from a simple background… they wanted very little aside from peace… They earned the title by simply fighting when their lives and homes were in danger while the glory seekers rushed in to gain things they wanted rather than protecting the things they had. Could he compare himself to either?

What made a hero anyways? Were they born thusly; their fates already pre-determined or were they just like everyone else and had hardships merely thrust upon them? He supposed it was the latter… Given enough hardships a man either broke or rose up to face the challenge. He supposed in that instance and in that instance alone a hero was decided. The question was, did Cas truly deserve the title? When the hardships became to much for him, he rose up sure but at what cost? Did cost matter in title? Would all Omegas be looking to him for answers now?

He was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t realized how much time had passed until a knock sounded at his door, making him start. He pushed to his feet, coming face to face with a soldier, sent to escort him to his meeting with the King.

“Sire.” The soldier bowed. Solider Surges, one that had held back others as Castiel declared who he was that day. “Forgive me, but His Majesty has sent for me to escort you to meet him. Is this agreeable?” He asked, before finally standing back up to attention.

Castiel visibly brightened at the sight of the familiar face. “Surges! It is good to see you!” He boomed with a grin, giving the man a hearty pat on the shoulder before realizing what he had done and the fact that the Alpha may not appreciate it now that he had admitted to being an Omega. He pulled his hand away hesitantly. “Oh… Forgive me. I haven’t quite adjusted to everything just yet.” He mumbled awkwardly, trying to gauge the man’s reaction.

Surges smiled. “That’s quite alright Sire. It’s good to see you in good health. I can see the tailor did a good job. Have you finished your supper? Or would you like me t wait outside a while longer?” He asked.

Cas glanced back at his barely touched meal before giving a shrug. “No reason to wait.” He reassured stepping out and closing the door behind him before glancing down at his attire. “I agree. She is quite talented especially do have done such work in such a short amount of time. What do you think Surges? Will I make a statement?” He asked with a sly grin. “I may be out of practice as an Omega but I am very familiar with the way Alpha’s think. I am certain this will get a reaction one way or another.” He teased. He supposed he was being a bit insensitive. It was possible that Surges did not agree with what the ex-Knight Commander was doing… but he supposed it didn’t matter. If the Alpha grew upset with his behavior he was free to request a dismissal; one Castiel would not hesitate to give if he so wished. Though, the familiarity of his presence was comforting to say the least.

“I cannot possibly comment, Sire. I do not know the details of your relationship.” Surges replied, softly. “I’ll be staying outside the door and walking you back to your room.” He explained. “I have been chosen to be your guard, but if you wish for someone else, then all you’ll need to do is ask the Commander.” He explained.

Cas softened a bit at that. “I am quite content with the choice if you are.” He offered. “I know after everything that has happened being assigned to me could be… disappointing to say the least.” He offered. “I would not fault any man who wished to be reassigned. You’re a good man Surges and a great soldier, I give you my word that if you wished it I could have you back at the barracks without a mark on your service record.” He offered, though he supposed his word didn’t mean much after today.

“I would be honoured to be your guard, Sire.” Surges replied honestly. “You were a brave and just Commander. And I hope for the knew Knight Commander to be the same.” He explained softly.

The tension in Castiel’s shoulders seemed to soften a bit at the man’s words. “Thank you Surges.” He replied. “I believe they will be… As long as they have one another to keep them in line.” He added in amusement. “I will be proud to have you in my entourage. The King chose well.” He acknowledged as they drew closer to the room.

Surges hummed. “Thank you, Sire, that means a lot coming from you.” He bowed his head. “If I may be so bold, Sire. You will always be apart of my military family.” He rushed.

Cas paused, blinking in surprise at the words before unable to keep himself from laughing. “I think you were suppose to wait until I gave you permission to say something freely.” He teased lightly. “But I’m glad you didn’t. That means a lot Surges. Thank you.” He offered with a small bow of his own. “I am glad you’ll be with me through the times ahead.”

“Forgive my outburst Sire.” Surges bowed with his hand over his heart. He stopped in front of the door and turned his back to the wall, standing straight to attention. The other guard bowed his head to Castiel before turning and announcing the Omega to the King. He stepped to one side as he allowed Castiel into the room. Dean looked up from his fictional book and bit his slower lip as he took in Castiel’s new clothes. “You are dismissed.” He said waving his hand to his guard before putting down his alcohol and his book and stepping over to the Omega.

Cas offered another small chuckle at Surges reaction before he took up his position. The smile faded slowly as he was announced, suddenly a bit nervous about it all. He adjusted his dupatta subconsciously before the guard stepped aside. By the time the Omega entered, any sign of his nervousness was gone, his head held high almost in defiance of his turmoil… though he did cast one last glance towards Surges before the doors were shut behind him.

“I hope I have not kept you waiting for long. I’m afraid I got a bit distracted, Your Majesty.” He admitted with a small bow of his head as was customary.

“Of course not, Cas. Come on in. I knew you would not forget.” Dean offered Castiel the other plush seat, made out of the finest and softest materials only reserved for Royalty. The two seats sat at forty-five degree angle to each other, so both parties could face each other or the roaring fire on the wall. “Would you like a drink, Cas? I have ones more customary for Alphas or ones for Omegas.” He offered.

“Oh um…” Cas mumbled as he moved to sink into the seat indicated. He eyed both drinks in question, hesitating. “I’ve never really tried a customary Omega drink.” He admitted with an embarrassed flush. “Or food, for that matter.” He added brows furrowing. He had never really thought about things like that before. This could cause a lot of problems during diplomatic conferences. Dread seemed to sink into his stomach. They were not on good terms with many of the outskirting Kingdoms… One wrong move and they could have another war. If he ended up offending someone in some way…

Dean frowned. “It’s okay. How about I get the kitchens to make a tray of samples of traditional Omega foods and we can try them together? I’ll ask them to bring up more Omega drinks, for us to sample.” Dean offered.

Cas hesitated. “If you think that is best, Sire. I wouldn’t want to put you through any more trouble then you have already found yourself in, on my account.” He replied. “Though, come to think of it… If I may suggest it… Perhaps it might be wise to find an Omega etiquette tutor? To avoid any… unfavorable interactions during social gathering.” He offered.

“Of course not, Cas. And please call me Dean.” Dean smiled. “This is important to both of us. I’ll get the Royal Omega tutor, they don’t have much work on at the moment. I’ll let them at you on Sunday before our dinner with the other Aides.” Dean explained.

“Right… My apologize, Dean.” He nodded before pausing once more. “Thank you.” He sighed. “I honestly am not quite sure how well I will do… I’ve already seemed to fail fairly spectacularly at Omega duties and I’ve only been one for a few short hours.” He mused somberly.

Dean quickly ordered his guard to fetch them a sample tray of food and drink, before he sat in his chair and finished his drink. “How could you be failing your duties, all ready, Cas? Please let me help you, because if you are failing then so I am at being your King.” He said softly, as he looked over at Castiel.

“Oh no. No. You are doing amazing as King, Sire.” Cas rushed before his expression turned unreadable. “No, forgive me. I misspoke. Perhaps it is just my insecurities. Give me a thousand men and a War and I have all the confidence in the world but… in a small room full of Omegas and softer things… Well, I’m just not sure what to do with myself, if I am being honest.”

Dean nodded. “It’s only a matter of learning.” He said softly. “I understand your reservations about this new... situation. I feel the same. That’s why I’m taking such an interested. If I can help you, I can help everyone else.” He explained softly. “Forgive me for using you as a learning experience.”

That… did not sit well with the Omega. He was being used as a social experiment? Was that all he really was? Sure Dean had originally asked to court… to mate… but it could all be a ploy. He eyed the Alpha cautiously. He supposed it didn’t really matter. If Dean was serious then he really could help others and that was the most important thing. “Not at all, Your Grace. I understand.” He offered with a slight nod.

Dean tilted his head to one side. “We are not dissimilar.” He said softly, he sighed as he thought about what he should say. “I never wanted to be King. This isn’t who I am. I would have preferred to have served under you, fighting and protecting. When I was a child, I never listened. I never learned how to do this. If I didn’t have to, I wouldn’t have learned to read and write.” He sighed, his King facade finally falling. “I don’t want to be special. I want to be like everyone else.”

Cas listened to each word, their meaning slowly sinking in. He couldn’t help but give a small huff of amusement before shaking his head. “I remember you.” He acknowledged. “I remember you constantly being dragged away from the training grounds by Sir Sanger.” He mused. “Always being scolded. For what it is worth, you would have made a great soldier… minus the not listening bit, of course.” He teased.

“I was a kid with an overinflated sense of self-worth. I knew I was first in line to be King. I thought I was above everyone else. But I’m not. I never was. I would have learnt, I would have listened.” Dean said quietly, looking down at his hands. “Sammy’s always been the clever one. He would have been a better King. He is wiser, smarter, better at diplomatic work. I... I just want the Kingdom to be happy.” He stood and poured two glasses of scotch, handing one to Castiel before sitting back down with his. “You don’t want to be listening to my rambles though do you?” He asked.

“Honestly… Its actually pretty refreshing to hear that you have the same problems as the rest of us.” Cas admitted, accepting the drink with a mumble of thanks. “For what its worth… I think that wanting to make your people happy makes you a better King than any I have ever met… And I have met quite a few.” He offered with a tip of his glass.

Dean hummed and knocked his glass lightly against Castiel’s. “Apart from if I screw up, I could have the Kingdom slaughtered. Not many people have that on their shoulders.” He said with a sad smile, before taking a large drink of his drink. “Allow me to help you though. I will grow more confident, when I have someone like you to work with. Someone who doesn’t see my as a perfect, clockwork King. Someone who sees me as human.” Dean said softly. “I trust you. I trust us to help each other.”

“I can not say that I trust you… not yet.” Cas admitted glancing away at the admission. “I hope you understand that it is nothing against you. Simply an occupational precaution.” He admitted. “But… I would like to help. I understand what it feels like to know that with a single mistake you can destroy your entire Kingdom.” He mumbled, brows furrowing in contemplative worry. “I’ve seen too much war to be ignorant of the consequences one decision can have. But you are right… and wise for someone as young as you are. Having someone there to help you… to see you as something less than a god… It’s… valuable.” He agreed. “Why do you think I’ve put up with Gabriel for so many years.” He chuckled, the amber liquid already warming him.

“Because no one else would put up with him?” Dean chuckled softly. “And I understand your mistrust. What I’ve done I would mistrust me as well, but I hope you understand why I did the things I did. Why I’ve... a lot of Alphas would say it is a promotion. But I don’t think you do, do you?” Dean asked. “Speaking of your career change, I do like the clothes you’ve chosen. Alpha and Omega blended seamlessly into one. I think if we all learnt how to be both, the world would be a much better place.” Dean said softly.

“There is so many things wrong with what you just said.” Cas replied with a small yawn, obviously forgetting he was speaking with the king. “Firstly, it has nothing to do with what you’ve done. You’re an Alpha your expected to be pushy… A newly crowned King on top of that; and to top it off you were well known for your promiscuity as Prince. I don’t trust you because I don’t trust anyone. It is how I have survived.” He explained. “Though I will admit being treated as an Omega has been… strange.” He added with a sigh. “As for this ‘promotion’…” He paused considering it. “No… No I don’t see it as one… In fact I’m quite worried about it. Earning respect in this role will be difficult most Alphas will believe that I have slept my way to the life of luxury despite my record and as far as I am concerned they can go one thinking.” He shrugged. “No, the worst part is… I didn’t chose this. I didn’t want it. It was forced upon me… And I now have expectations on my shoulder that I will never live up to. I am no hero Dean, no righteous voice. I am a simple man who wants simple things. This position… Its torture.” He admitted, before allowing silence to fall between them for a moment. He scrubbed a hand down his face once more before giving another huff. “Though even if you had asked…. Truly asked… I would have said yes.” He admitted, gazing at the fireplace. “I would take the power that I didn’t want willingly… Knowing now what you claim you are trying to do… Knowing that it will bring torture and bloodshed to other Omegas… because in the end… No one should have to live the life I have… To go through the things other Omegas have…. Even Alphas who want to cook or sew are chastised for wanting these things. It is wrong… and if I have to be the one to shoulder the matarship along side you… Then better me than someone who couldn’t handle it.” He huffed before turning to glance at him. “Also… Thank you for the compliment. Celeste is very talented and worked hard on my design.”

Dean sighed and hung his head low, hiding the tears in his eyes. “What do you want me to do?” He asked, his voice weak. “I am trying to help you adjust, all the Aides before you, they don’t get this. Didn’t get this. Daily chats from human to human. The Royal assistance at their hands. All I am trying to do is help you into a role half the population has never dreamt about being before.” Dean sighed, knocking back his drink, downing it in one. “I don’t want torture or bloodshed. I want everyone to be equal. I just want everyone to be happy.” Dean said, chewing on his lower lip. “Yes, I know the change will be hard, but won’t the end be better. Anyone can be anything. Omegas can be King if they are born first, soldiers, Commander without hiding. Alphas can be maids, can sew and stay at home to look after their children. That’s the Kingdom I want. I never said you would be the face of it. The matar. I want the opinion of an Omega that I trust, because I am privileged without realising how. I know I don’t know everything, I don’t know how ‘commoners’, as you say, live daily. I want to be taught that. But if you don’t see me worth your time, then...” Dean shrugged. “The don’t waste your time on me.”

Cas frowned at that slamming his glass down onto the table a bit too harshly. “Now you listen here…” He growled. “You want to learn? Well, here is your first lesson!” He knew his raised voice was a bit harsh but it was a habit he had adopted when he was feeling too much… Alphas lashed out so if he got emotional that was what he tried to do. “Stop apologizing! Stop feeling sorry. You are King now, what you say is law. If you show insecurity then the men and women under your care will see it and mirror the emotion. You can not afford to be insecure. If you are… Hide it. It is what we do… It is our duty. You are not human to them and cannot afford to be… not where they see it at least. Stop treating me any different than any other Aides. Just… Stop. I will not earn the respect I need if you do and that will not help either of us. At least… not in public… These talks… I enjoy them… and if you’d like to continue to court then that is separate than our duty. You can treat me how you wish in these setting but not out there… never out there… Not if you want Alphas and Omegas to be equal. We must set an example. Second lesson: Everything you do and say has consequences. By promoting me to aide… by forcing the truth out… It has lit a fire that neither of us will be able to control. People will be hurt… some will rise up… some will be torn down. Because /we/ decided to do what we have. You will have to learn to deal with the consequences of your actions without giving away how you feel. To them everything has to seem like it is apart of your plan even if it is not because they will look to you for answers you don’t have. The world you want… the world /we/ want is not achievable without blood, Dean… People will die… we can’t save them all… This will be another war but instead of fighting with a sword and shield we will be fighting with words and actions… Instead of the blood of soldiers it will be the blood of our citizens. I know you don’t want that.” He added, reaching out to touch his arm gently. “But it has already begun. You saw the way some of those men drew on me at the Address… Those were men I trusted and trusted me… who loved me only hours before hand… Now imagine how Alphas and Omegas will act when something like that happens to someone they /don’t/ care for.” He squeezed gently his own scent growing a bit heady with the need for comfort but unaccustomed to it to the point he didn’t notice. “The world is not kind, Dean… Your privilege has perhaps shielded you to the extent of its cruelty but acknowledging that you have it will help you overcome it. You will be a great king; I have no doubt… You just need to believe it as well.”

“Do you think I will show this face to anyone?” Dean snapped, a growl growing low in his throat. “To the public. Out there I am strong. But just like you, just like anyone, we need comfort. Comfort from other people. I don’t know what you need or want, Castiel. I am treating you differently because you are different. You weren’t born into the role. You are an Omega. I am trying to help the only way I know how. If you don’t like that, then I can always make it stop Cas. Make it fair again?” Dean asked, trying not to be threatening. “I am always ready of the consequences. You think I am weak, but the King isn’t. People believe I eat as King, sleep as King, poop as King, but I don’t. This is me dealing with the consequences. I am making laws that will come out this week against Alphas that harm Omegas. The punishment will be severe. The men who stood against you. They will serve as a warning. Strip them of their rankings. Put them in prison. But their wages. Their wages will still be going to their wives, their family. However, I know people will die. But that doesn’t mean I can’t mourn them. I can be strong, but show that Alpha can express emotion. Because Alphas are so caught up in being strong and emotionless, they forget that they are not a pair. You can be strong and show emotion, and I tend to lead by example.” Dean sighed and calmed himself down. “But it’s not just me who needs to learn. Your scent has changed, may I... hold you?” He asked softly, not moving until Castiel had replied.

The growl scent a shiver down the Omega’s spine, a response he hadn’t expected. “No.” He said evenly as he pushed to his feet, shooting the man a glare. The knowledge that he was able to be read so easily was off putting and made him very uncomfortable. Instead of running into the other man’s arms however, he wrapped his own around himself. “Treating me different shows the world that an Alpha is providing for an Omega. Not equals. It gives me a privilege I didn’t ask for. You do exact what your trying to avoid. It doesn’t anger or upset me. It simply is fact.” He clarified. “You want us to be equals, Alphas and Omegas? Then I need to earn everything just as an Alpha does… just as I always have. I never claimed it would be easy, Dean and I suspect you knew that going in.” He pointed out. The knowledge that those men that acted poorly at the news of his status were being punished so severely hurt more than he could express and his eyes began to sting with the threat of new tears. “But let me clear on one thing!” He snapped, the tears beginning, anger mixing with his need for comfort, pain, and mourning that made his scent almost nauseating even to himself. “You have a lot of power as a King, a lot of rights… But you do /not/ get to tell /me/ what I think or feel!” He growled. “No one can take that from me, no Alpha nor Royal! I do /not/ think your weak nor do I think you should be emotionless! You are brave and caring if not a bit reckless and young! You’ve got a lot to learn, not the least of which is to know what information to keep to yourself.” He spat, wishing he didn’t know about his men. He wondered if their families would hate him now. He straightened his dupatta once more, obviously trying to compose himself. “I think it is past time to call it an evening, if you don’t mind.” He added already turning for the door before suddenly remembering himself and turning to bow once more. “Your Majesty.” He added almost mockingly before continuing on.

“No, I don’t think it is time.” Dean didn’t move, apart from clapping his hands twice. His guard moved in swiftly and quietly, closing the door behind him and using his weight to stopping it from opening. Dean slowly stood and strode dangerously calmly over to Castiel, his hands clasped behind his back. He used his height to crowd over the Omega. “Lawrence, remind me what my father would do to an Alpha who spoke to him out of them.” Dean said calmly, looking Castiel in the blue eyes, as he addressed his guard. “He would cut out their tongues, with the first implement he could find, Your Majesty.” Lawrence replies quickly with a bow. “Ah yes, I remember the day I presented. Usually you get a gift, but not from my father. He made me cut out the tongue of a spy who had been captured. To teach him to be quiet. But I am not as painfully harsh and gruesome as my father.” Dean stated, his voice still even and dangerously calm. A calm only carried by people who have seen horrendous acts and grown accustomed to them. “No, instead why don’t you pay little Gabriel a visit? No one will miss a no-good busy body on the first day of work, now will they?” Dean asked, before answering himself. “No, send him to the dungeons for a week, with one drink a day. If I can kill two birds with one stone, then I shall. Teach this Omega it does not do well to speak to me like that, and teach the other to grow up and stop playing gams.”

Castiel’s gaze met Dean’s and did not waiver at his words. No, they slowly turned to hatred and even hurt as he watched the man, bile rising in his throat. He knew the King’s words were too good to be true… He should have known! How could he have been such a full. “Cut out my tongue then.” Castiel challenged flatly. “Do what you will. I never should have believed you… I knew better. You’re no better than any other Alpha.” He growled. “I promise you this, though… If you think that this is going to change anything for the better, you’re mistaken!” Cas lifted a hand to his chest, fingers curling about the broach Celeste had allowed him to borrow before ripping it from the fabric and tossing it to the floor at Dean’s feet. “Choose someone else as your Aide and your potential Queen. I want nothing to do with you. I take back what I said. You’re nothing but a coward.” The tears that had been in his eyes only a moment before were gone now, replaced with nothing but cold determination though his scent was still one of betrayal and disappointment.

[Readers are more than welcome to message me with feels.... I have them too T.T]

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#Destiel #Destiel rp #abo #A/b/o #abo rp #a/b/o rp #roleplay #rp #Supernatural #dean/castiel #dean winchester #castiel #castiel novak #suspicious nature #Fantasy Kingdom AU

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masterheartsxiii · 5 years ago

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What? Persona 5 revels in its own style. My head canon is they told joker he needed a cgi reveal, and he laughed, stole the heart of the exec who told him that and then proceeded to make his own reveal trailer in typical P5 fashion.

Can we get an F in the chat for Joker who sacrificed his CGI trailer for Banjo-Kazooie and Hero to get their own?

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natadachoco · 8 years ago

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gems/power au

warning: long post ahead

everyone has a specific energy

this energy manifests into power at will

energy builds up in the body over time

gems given to store energy

specific gems can hold more energy

given gem on 6th month anniversary

like they literally plop the baby down in the middle of a circle of whatever gems the family can afford

whichever one the baby crawls to is the one they get

prevent power buildup

if too much power in one holder (person, gem) KABOOM

energy can create, destroy and/or manipulate, depends on person & strength of their energy

build up time depends on person

strength of energy is mostly random

the type of energy correlates to personality

energy is listed with a letter

Fire (listed as F), Water (W), Air (A), Earth (G, ground), Electric (E) Metal (M), Plant (P), Animalia (B, bestia latin for animal), Light (L)

Water, and Air should be obvious

Fire refers to heat in general, so powerful users with lots of control can take away heat as well

Ground is soil, rock and sand only

Metal is metal & crystals

Plant controls all living things without a consciousness

Electric refers to any flow of electrons

Animalia is interaction with animals and to some extent control

Light is kinda misleading because it refers to the entire electromagnetic spectrum, not just visible light

kids are tested for their powers when they are 7, when they have more control so they won’t blow up the building by accident

their power is then listed with the type of power and the strength of their power on a scale of 1-10 with decimals

but everyone’s too lazy to remember decimals so they’re kinda ignored

so a moderately powerful fire user would be F5.5 or something

this number/letter combo is listed on most official documents

people usually aren’t discriminated against by their type of energy

but strength though

1-3s might be bullied in school but are generally ignored

4-7s are the majority

8 and 9s are powerful people in society

10s are either v respected or v feared

Yuuri’s a W10

in typical Yuuri fashion, he pretends to be a 6 just so he won’t get attention

Victor’s a double, a person with two distinct types of energy (v rare)

he’s a L9A7

everyone knows and he uses his powers during figure skating

Yuri(o) is a F8

he uses it in figure skating but not as much as Victor because fire and ice don’t exactly go well together, especially if you’re standing on it

Otabek is a G6

Phichit is an E4

Seung Gil is a M7

Minami is a P5

Chris is a B7

I’ll think of others later

they’re allowed to use powers in the rink as long as they don’t kill anyone

so they do

some do it more than others (Victor, Seung Gil, Phichit)

some do it rarely (Yuuri, Chris, Minami, Otabek)

some just add it in if it feels right (Yurio)

like I hc Victor to change the colours of his outfit on a whim

because Victor

feel free to add more

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lowewrites-blog · 7 years ago

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War of the Word

Derogatory speech has been present within our society since the concept of communication & speech was created. Derogatory, meaning speech directed in a demeaning and negative way, has become a taboo within everyday conversation. Many of these phrases that are used today are watered down in the sense that it isn’t, for a lack of better words, “too wrong”, to use. One derogatory word that has become normalized within daily social conversations is the word “retard”. Most people that use this phrase in daily conversation typically are unaware of the power that word can have on people. Others that know what the word entails may say that it is only a word. However, that is far from the truth. Using the word retard in a derogatory way impacts an entire demographic of those who are affected by mental illness, including those who are family and friends of said people.

To understand why people use the word, one must first know what the word means by definition. The word “retarded” stems from the word ritardando, which is a phrase created during the mid-1800s for classical music in regards to a piece of music becoming gradually slower. To this day, the phrase ritardando is still used on pieces of sheet music, typically abbreviated rit. under measures in which the musicians would begin to slow the music down. The roots of this word were brought back in the early 1900s when the researching of mental disabilities became a more prevalent topic. Patients who appeared in hospitals that were diagnosed as mentally disabled may have been referred to as “retarded” in the sense that their brains & nervous systems reacted slower than other people. Near the mid-1950s, however, the word began to make its way into general conversation. Mark Peters, a writer from the Boston Globe, found that one of the first noted occurances of the word retard being used in a derogative way can be found in Frank Rooney’s 1954 novel “The Courts of Memory.”. Peters writes that the novel, “... contains an insulting use that should be familiar if not comfortable: “God, you’re simple, Dick. . . . You’ve got an I.Q. about equal to a squirrel’s. You’re retarded, do you hear me?” (Peters, P3) During the following years, the word began to make its way into conversations, being held at the same caliber as other derogatory insults, such as dumbass, idiot, or even moron. Ben Zimmer, a language columnist for The Wall Street Journal, explains that, “...words like ‘moron’ and ‘imbecile,’ while originating in psychological research, quickly fell out of scholarly fashion as they got taken up in popular usage as synonyms for ‘fool.’ ‘Retarded’ took much longer before it was replaced by ‘intellectually disabled’ and so forth. So I think there was more time for ‘retarded’ to lead a double life, in both technical and lay usage, which made it more obviously offensive.” (Peters, P7) Many people were unaware of the origins of the word, only that it was being used as a demeaning insult about something they disliked. In most cases, the word is used as an adjective to describe situations or things that people dislike. Whether that be within referring to something they disliked as retarded, or something that they perceived as dumb or pointless.

With that being said, it can make sense why people choose to use the word. Given how popular the word has become with it’s negative usage, most assume that using the phrase is just one of the other phrases that don’t cause people to react in comparison to inappropriate language. The word being used among other derogative phrases that would be considered household phrases, the impact that the word has on the user is lowered. In John C. McGinley’s article “What Really Happens When You Use The R-Word”, he speaks about the actual impact of the word. McGinley writes that, “...(words that end with the suffix “-tard”) used are the original population of special needs individuals who served as the catalyst for this kind of disparaging vitriol in the first place. They are those kids who ride on the smaller school bus. The ones who have personal space, proximity issues. And most importantly, many of those with intellectual disabilities are defenseless to this word.” (McGinley, 6). When somebody uses the suffix “-tard” and the end of any phrase, it traces back to the demographic they are insulting, intentionally or not. For example; If someone were to use the phrase, “Libtard”, in an insultive way, the word is not only insulting those who side with Democratic sides of government, but also those who have mental disabilities. Especially in today's society, most derogative phrases that insult specific demographics are frowned upon. Those words, however, are held at a higher caliber than a word like “retard”, which, with that logic, contradicts itself. On top of that, this is a demographic that typically lacks the ability to defend themselves. This is a demographic that also doesn’t just soley involve people that are considered mentally disabled. The word also insults those who are friends & family of those with mental disabilities.

However, there are a few that can speak for the demographic from a personal standpoint. Rick Smith, writer for a Down Syndrome awareness website called Noah’s Dad, talks about how he reacts to people using the word in jest. Smith writes that, “...When I hear people use the word “retarded” like I used to I try to take a moment to help them understand why they shouldn’t. I’m always very gracious about it because I know they don’t mean anything hurtful by it, and they certainly aren’t trying to insult my son or others with intellectual disabilities.” (Smith, P5). Derogative speech goes farther than just affecting those who the words are put against. Those words can also have an affect on those who have experienced those people secondhand. Many family members and friends that are affected by the word realize that the majority of people that used the word aren’t making blaintant attempts to disrespect an entire community. However, in this sense, ignorance to this doesn’t change the fact that the word still has power to certain people. ABC News writer Andrea Mayes wrote on a campaign earlier this year that spoke about how the word retard affects all whom are affected by it. One of Mayes quotes is from a sibling with down syndrome, in which they say, “...When you use the R word, you're saying that my sister's not very nice, and it's really offensive to someone like her, but it's also offensive to me.” (Mayes, P11). Joseph Franklin Stephens is an athlete with Down Syndrome that involved in the Special Olympics. Stephens wrote an open letter to Ann Coulter in 2012, in regards to her using the word retard in an insultive way. From a quote on the “R-Word: Spread The Word To End The Word” website, Stephens says, “...I can only tell you what it means to me and people like me when we hear it. It means that the rest of you are excluding us from your group. We are something that is not like you and something that none of you would ever want to be. We are something outside the "in" group. We are someone that is not your kind. I want you to know that it hurts to be left out here, alone.” (Stephens, P1) Stephens advocates for the demographics that is being affected by the word by saying how much the word can hurt people that are on the spectrum for mental disabilities. When people use the word retard in a way that associates the word with a negative pretense, they are conceitedly giving that pretense to the demographic the word affects. If someone says something is retarded because they deem it to be useless, or pointless, they are also calling those who are affected by mental disabilities the same. That person may not realize what they are doing is wrong, and that it may just be another word to them, but in reality, everytime they use that word, they are slowly demeaning those with disabilities more and more. Jeremy Waldron, a professor on Political Theory at Oxford University, wrote an article regarding the harms of hate speech. Waldron states that, “...To the extent that they can, the purveyors of this hate will try to make it a visible and permanent feature of our social fabric. And members of the vulnerable groups targeted are expected to live their lives, conduct their business, raise their children, and allay their nightmares in a social atmosphere poisoned by this sort of speech.” (Waldron, P4) Using words like retard to describe situations also creates a society in which people that are members of that demographic are seen in different, if not, lower positions that other people in society. Waldron also writes that, “...the aim of this sort of speech is to defame the members of the vulnerable groups in question – to do whatever they can do to lower their reputation in the eyes of others and to make it as difficult as possible for them to engage in ordinary social interactions.” (Waldron, P4) This means that whenever someone chooses to use hate speech, they are bit by bit, making it hard for people who are associated with words like retarded, to carry on a normal life, something all people are obligated to do.

My twin sister, Katie, was diagnosed with high functioning autism when we were both 4 years old. I remember how much that experience affect my entire family as a whole. My parents; My grandparents; Myself. It completely changed our lives receiving that diagnosis. Growing up, I felt even more affected by it with the way my classmates interacted with kids in my sisters classes, whether it had been the stares they gave them, or the comments they had made jokingly about how they looked or acted. When I heard them use the word retard to express their emotions of negativity and pointlessness, it honestly hurt. Yet, whenever I tried to explain to them that the word was rude and impolite, typically I would just received the response that, “words can’t hurt unless you let them”. Looking back on those kinds of moments, I realize now what they told me was far from true. Even if someone had no idea a word they were saying was wrong, certain words will always carry certain pretenses. Whether that individual realizes this or not, the words that they use have an impact, positive or negative. Whenever my peers used the word retard in a demeaning way, they were, unbeknownst to them, demeaning not only Katie, but everyone that cared about her, including me. Sure, they can say a word that doesn’t concern them doesn’t hurt them, but on the other side of that word, there was people like my sister who most likely don’t know any better. Because deep down, I know that my sister doesn’t really understand what the word retard pertains. However, I know what it does. My family and friends know what it does. The word hurts.

Within our society, the majority of hate speech has made its way out of society, regarding phrases that target specific communities, such as the LGBTQ, POC, and religious communities. With that being said, the word retard, which has the same effect as other targeting, derogative words, should follow suit, and the fact that it hasn’t is backwards. If words that target other communities & demographics aren’t accepted as fair, what makes the word retard different? From that, society needs to realize that when it comes to removing derogative and hateful speech from vocabularies, they cannot pick and choose what words are and aren’t offensive. The word retard has the same effect as any other word that targets groups or individuals, and needs to be held at that caliber. Hate speech, as a whole, shouldn’t be as prevalent as it is today, and the fact that it is shows how negative society today has become. Starting a conversation about removing words like retard from daily vocabulary opens up doors to find better ways to express emotion in daily conversations. On top of that, finding ways to express your emotions of distaste through other outlets besides hate speech also eliminates any possibility of hurting others feelings. If society can agree on removing one bad thing from their daily life, no matter how big or small it may seem to them, a chain reaction could follow that helps to spread positive, uplifting speech, that helps to spread compassion instead of hate. Above all that, if society can choose to eliminate words like retard from conversation, it would make life a much more kinder place for people who may suffer from mental disabilities.

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