#💌nia.recs

[6okuto]

HAIII EVERYBODY! if a "WLW animated thriller about a siren and a seafood chef, set in a dark fantasy Philippines" interests u please check out the full trailer + kickstarter page for the lovers! ^____^

[6okuto]

AKAASHI !!!

thought of the day turned unstructured blurb bc I feel bad for not posting anyone other than atsumu lately (and bc my next post is going to be atsumu again LMAO):

introverted “black cat energy” reader that tries to come off as intimidating and kind of cold in public, who’s not very into PDA, and akaashi who knows it’s all for show solely bc he lives with you and knows what you’re like 90% of the time. especially when you’re recharging from a social outing.

“you’re so warm, keiji,” you mumble as you nudge your head under his chin.

his hands are pressed gently against your shoulders, keeping you at arms length as you try to nuzzle your face against his body like an actual cat. he laughs and angles his head back on the pillow and away from you when you accidentally sigh too heavily against a particularly sensitive part of his neck.

“and you are very wiggly, sweetheart. just relax with me, didn’t you say you wanted to recharge your battery?“

you groan and struggle against his arms, trying to get closer. “I am recharging! let me near you,” you whine.

he laughs again (because when isn’t he laughing with you around? you make it so easy to let loose.) and retorts, “recharging with what, static electricity?”

you just giggle and take advantage of his loosening grip, finally flopping down and pressing kisses all over his face, nudging your nose against his and most importantly, pressing yourself tightly against him so he doesn’t have the chance to push you away again. “with affection, smartass.”

the laughter dies down and you stare at each other for a bit, a tender silence taking over the moment. akaashi’s gotten good at reading your expressions- after all, that’s how you prefer to show your deep, unwavering devotion for him in situations you would never feel comfortable doing any of this in. and right now your expression is telling him that you want to be held, loved, cared for after a long day.

and of course he’ll do that for you. why wouldn’t he?he moves his hands again, but this time one caresses your back and the other strokes the bridge of your nose. “you’re not so scary when you’re beginning for attention.”

but of course he has to tease you a bit first, that’s non negotiable.

your jaw drops and he smiles, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “keiji!”

idk I just think he gets so smiley around you :((( and he absolutely wouldn’t mind you being less affectionate in public for whatever reasons you have!! he just wants you to be comfortable!!! and he knows you’re probably going to return it tenfold when you both get home to make up for missing his touch 🫶🏻

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@6okuto I hope I didn’t butcher your husband too badly, it’s been FOREVERRRR since I’ve written for him oh my god 😭 the return of my akaashi era is upon us y’all……. he’s so fun to write 😭🫶🏻

[6okuto]

side note what do u think keijis music taste is like,,, i like to think he likes alternative/ indie music like duvet - boa, kingston - faye webster, blue light - mazy star etc etc (i do not know a lot of music but love songs like this so if u have any recs 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️) umm maybe he might listen to dean, heize and some iu mayeb, i will stop rambling now. OH ALSO i would most definitely force him to listen to sticker with me 💯💯💯

Awesome question & i'm Rocking W Ur Vision!!! it's hard bc there's a lot of vibes i like seeing for keiji but i always wonder if he'd actually listen to them himself.. that's probably me overthinking though 😭😭

bUT!!! this ask motivated me to make a playlist.. here u go!!! my vry messy keiji playlist

softer music/instrumentals for romanticizing his work (Like with my other playlist that i plug at every chance. she's everything 2 Me)

metal/rock/etc because i think he deserves a treat and there's no way he listens to soft indie all the time

songs that are a little devastating, rage-y, strongly emotional and often by female artists

quite a bit of japanese and korean music

uni student / pierced keiji did enter my brain and influence me. soz. Like I'm gonna ignore the nbhd and ptv.

and aaAAAHHH!!! i definitely love and listen to those vibes too!!! don't fret. i have attempted a playlist for this also. link here :3

gonna be so honest. def aren't all similar. but i hope the vibes are sort of cohesive & u like some of the songs 😭!! tried to find ones that aren't just from tiktok.. (< girl who likes trending music)

[6okuto]

HI THIS IS THE ANON WHO SAID SHE LOVED UR POST AND i just realised u also write for cove holden ilysm do u have any romance visual novel recs?? so far i've only done cove's one & two demo ones (a celtic mythology one whose name i cannot remember & touchstarved the loml)

have the bestest day and thNk u

was the celtic one the good people (na daoine maithe) because i played that one too 👩🏻‍💻🫶 RLLY GOOD in typical nia fashion when my Type type isn't there i'm going 4 keagan and flannan

i saw u say error 143 in ur other ask UR REAL!!! ofc i must recommend blooming panic if u haven't played. xyx and toasty r genuinely just. Funny. i rlly liked toasty's va they did a great job. FIRST TIME I HEARD HIS LAUGH I WAS LIKE WOAH. i rlly liked how nightowl's route went w. Anger. u don't see it a lot and i appreciate it i was like WOWWW? AT ME? he's real. robo has answered a Lot of asks on tumblr so u can get loads of content after u finish!

https://gbpatch.itch.io/our-life-nf ... :) No words. Demo. i will build the audience for the 2nd game myself.

DEMO obscura is also vry good,, i haven't played in a Long time but i keep up w reading tumblr asks abt the LIs LOL. love the art and vibes. he isn't my type but iirc cirrus offers a rlly interesting dark romance route + aftercare/safe word system :)

DEMO online @ the perfect time is just,, i love the vibes and concept so far I LOVE WHEN CHARAS R FUNNY. HAVE MY HUMOR. rlly excited to see where it goes it's quite short so far BUT I WANT PPL TO PAY ATTENTION 4 THE FUTURE. PLEASE!

cryptid coffeehouse IS SOOO CUTE I LOVE ARTEMIS ☹️☹️ queer slowburn coffee shop romance BE SERIOUS no one fucking TALKS ABOUT MY ARTEMIS. WHY. so so many cute moments i was kicking my feet and giggling like WOWW

3 seasons is also VRY vry cute i don't usually play games w an mc visual but ivy is so pretty so IDC!!! u can play all the routes pretty easily they're all lovely like... it isn't super often i come out liking all the LIs pretty much on the same lvl. mamma mia!

....the persona 5 vn. IMCRYING I'm so fucking serious like. the characterization is REAL it's super well made. i'd like to say u could enjoy without playing p5 but um. probably not to the full extent. i played out of principle as a p5 enjoyer and for goro bc he's one of summer's fav charas ever and his route was so awesome actually. Epic Major Spoilers obvi. akira slayed also (my good ending completionist side..☹️)i won't say much abt him bc i'll ramble on and on but summer after finding out i had a crush on him yrs ago was like Yeah that makes a lot of sense he is so loz link.. like man

$30 gilded shadows (free demo) which i need to play again I WAS SUPPOSED TO FINISH ARI'S ROUTE MONTHS AGO rika said he was so my type and i trust them fundamentally. caissa my beloved. like the world building + charas it's just,, well done y'know

$12 when the night comes haven't played but rika rlly likes it so i'm putting it here anyways. LOL

NOT VNs. they are IFs...like there's Literally no visuals. read in browser. but i stand by the night market (1st book finished!) which i've rb'ed a bit + speaker . both fantasy,, love both casts i love everything they're doing i'm genuinely so so excited to see where they go!!! PLEASE!!!

YANDERE DEMOS separated for if they aren't ur thing which is obvi Valid. i erm. went down a bit of a rabbit hole. pls read their warnings! always read game warnings. but like. ok anyways

DEMO 14 days with you yeah. ren. i like when mc notes that smth is Off abt him. lots of asks answered on the tumblr! I can fix him.

DEMO something's wrong with sunny day jack jesus Christ . some of the best vn va work i have ever come across like Genuinely wtf. and the concept is rlly cool. was put off for a long time bc of.. jack's appearance.. sowwy. but wow it is just. really well done.

bitter/sweet blythe orange masc blythe va ?? did such a good job?? like srsly what. sorry wow that's the main thing i just rlly wanted to applaud them a bit. also I LOVE THE PARTIAL OST??? i want it so bad i was humming it for a couple hours after like

DEMO our dollhouse I'm so serious when i say i didn't realize it was for yanjam so when i came to my own realization of Oh Shit He's Sus and checked i was like FUCKCKDJ 😭😭 OBVIOUSLY... but srsly love the art and i'm excited to see how mc figures it out and what happens. did a good job at making a pretty Understandably oblivious(??) mc. like yeah i can see why u wouldn't expect him.

DEMO favor Z Intrigues Me. had to try so hard for the secret ending but now i am more intrigued like OKAYYY WHAT HAPPENED BROTHER 🤨 i like the tail animation also. also when u say u like possession horrors woah hey. hey. pal

[6okuto]

hi!! sorry to bother you, i was just wondering what app you used to make your smaus??<3

omg hellaur it's no bother at all,, i have an android & i use memi message + twinote!! memi can be..kind of buggy... but it usually works just fine! 👩🏻‍💻🫡

i also have funsta but i don't rlly use it... there's some issues w comment sections/caption appearances so. LOL. the dms/profiles are alright though!

[6okuto]

AKAASHI

Whispers - Akaashi x Reader

inspired by this post - tagging @6okuto and @lees-chaotic-brain-reblogs

"He's so cute!"

"Oh my gosh, yes, and the glasses!"

You look up from the book you'd been reading at that. At first you thought the whispers had been about Bokuto, because it's not every day that a 6'2 Pro Athlete rides the bus this casually. Although, at a closer look, he's not that attractive with the way he's fallen asleep in the row in front of you, his head leaned back, mouth open as he snores softly.

It doesn't take long to spot the girls. They're probably high schoolers, their uniform skirts hiked a little higher. Their eyes are on you, no, on Keiji, who's sitting on your side, leaving the window seat to you. He's always worried like that, worried that someone will snatch you out of your seat when you're not looking.

"Keiji," you whisper. He turns, uses his thumb as a bookmark. You hate that he does it, hate the look of it, that pretty thumb adorned with a ring you bought him on your first anniversary. The girls are swooning about it two rows down.

"Yes, Love?"

"They're talking about you." You say, your eyes flickering over and back toward him. You can't really fault them for noticing how attractive he is. His hair has grown out a little, falling perfectly to frame his face. His Glasses fit him so well you usually just want to jump into his arms the moment he slips them on and coupled with the tired look after a day of work, he's swoon-worthy, nothing less.

"So?" He asks, smiling softly.

"So? They're talking about how pretty they are."

"So?" He asks again, lips quirking up a little. "Didn't know that was a bad thing."

You gasp. "Are you trying to cheat-" Bokuto snortles in front of you, loud enough to interrupt you. But he doesn't wake up. "Are you trying to-"

Keiji leans in, quick enough to surprise you, and presses his lips to yours. He's grinning as he pulls back. "Sorry," he teases. "Can't help that I'm pretty."

"Keiji," you whine, stomach filled with butterflies. Would it be terribly rude if you kissed him again?

"What?" He's smiling, eyes crinkling. "Do you want me to shave my head? You told me not to cut my hair just this week."

"Yeah, but-"

"Oh, I'm going to grow a beard." He nods to himself, flicking through the pages of his novel as if he could care less. "Do you think a Goatee would make me look uglier?"

"Keiji," you whine again, leaning into him. He buries his nose in your hair. The whispering has stopped.

[6okuto]

SONGS!!!! i have a post w playlists but erm. idk where it is. here's them again!

p1 (pretty, soft) p2 (rnb) p3 (feminine rage (Real)) p4 (if u like body by 070 shake which i link below) p5 (my cove holden.)

fuckinh....fuckin banger. so fun and funky and for a silly girl like me

im so lonely man. this is. this is jsut... this is just like zelink [I am Shot] "How unfair, how unfair, " they'll sing / As they dance across the darling rooftop wreck / He'll trip, and she'll pretend not to have seen / Burying her head into his chest / And clinging to the moment, "Where have you been?"

just another fun funky song to be so serious. like im bopping. like literally bopping. and then u sway . and then bop. and

good. im floating. floatttyyyy.....

my friend showed me this album and changed my life a little. thank god ive never been in a relationship and cannot relate because wow. . .

i come back to this song every couple of months CUZ IM USELESSS WHEN UR STUCK IN MY MIND like i literally made the lyrics part of my pinned at one point come on now

Dont know what to tell you. i really like slipknot. sometimes a girl loves metal and rock and that girl is ME.

Dont know what to tell you x2. i also really like ptv. circles came on shuffle a couple of days ago and i was like OMGGG so im back listening to it a lot again. TOOK MY HAND AND THEN WE BOTH STARTED RUNNING BOTH STARTED RUNNING THERES NO PLACE TO GOOO

ive also been looping cupid twin ver. (NOT BC OF TIKTOK i cant believe that app got its sick hands on fifty fifty.) + i am and kitsch by ive 🙂🫶🫶

[6okuto]

nia (20, she her) — masterlists

☆ palestine 101, esims, gazafunds

reqs closed. filter #nsft , #suggestive , #tw trigger (e.g. #tw spiders).

check #6okuto.txt for shorter oneshots etc!

[6okuto]

AKAASHI! Ok u caught me because i'm actually embarrassingly bad at skating. specifically made 4 me rn

Falling on ice (or in love?)

drabble

based on an Instagram reel I saw. I'll put the link to it in some time. also, there may be a similar/not-so-similar drabble or one-shot in the future. if I get time.

To say you sucked at ice skating would be an understatement. Heck, you can’t even skate. What possessed you to excitedly agree to your friends' idea to go ice skating on a random Sunday in the middle of January is beyond you. But here you are—wobbling and slipping, desperately trying to maintain balance. You could ask for your friends' help, but you don’t want to ruin their fun. You could even take the little penguin statue they offer to kids, but you've already had your fill of embarrassing moments today. Adding one more is not on your agenda.

So you do what any determined person would do: you try to skate and enjoy yourself with your friends. They throw occasional jokes your way, but they’re right there beside you when you slip or stumble, catching your hand if necessary. You don't know what possessed you to ask your friends to watch as you showed them the smooth glide you managed to learn in the past hour.

Zooming past them, victory never tasted sweeter. The wind blowing in your hair, the adrenaline rush making you feel like you’re on top of the world—until you fall. Hard. Not only did you fall, but you also managed to latch onto some poor guy, dragging him down with you. Suddenly, your beanie-clad head hit the ice, and you found yourself respectfully caged by a very attractive man. His eyes were full of warmth, and his cheeks flushed red from the cold. Everything looked crystal clear, and reality hit as you felt a hand pulling you up, your friends rushing towards you.

It took you 30 seconds to finally register the situation—the same man asking if you were okay, your friends hovering worriedly. It was like dunking your face in cold water when you started profusely apologizing, bowing down, cheeks flushed as you babbled out apologies. The man quickly reassured you, telling you not to worry. He introduced himself and extended his hand to shake yours. As you did the same, you looked away, beginning to ask one of your friends for a hand back to the rink, only to be stopped.

“Hey, would ya like to skate with me?”

“M-me?”

“Yeah, I could show ya some moves, and I’d love to get to know ya. I wouldn’t mind catching ya again if ya fell.” I could feel a smirk etched on his face

If your face was red before, now it felt like it was on fire. It was both a dream and nightmare come true—an attractive man helping you, seeing you fall, and willing to do it all over again.

Before you could answer, your friend piped in from behind.

“She would love to!! Okay then, Y/N, let us know when you’re done.” Wiggling her eyebrows, she added, “Enjoy your skating lessons! Have fun!” With a wink, she left.

So here you are, gliding with a large hand holding yours, soft gentle directions coming from his lips, and a new number in your phone. Ice skating never felt better.

-Kuroo Tetsuro, Atsumu MIYA, SUGAWARA KOUSHI, Akaashi Keiji, TANAKA RYUNOSOKE, Kita Shinsuke

just maybe there are more out there who will fit this, I am in a bit of a rush right now. I'll add more if I feel like. i just don;t want to put someone who won;t fit in here.

thanks @dira333 for the help!

[6okuto]

Ok. Maybe i care about daishou suguru a little bit. going to react here instead of tags Bc that'd be so many tags. Vry long under the cut

Until she breaks up with him. < i gasped. Really and Truly.

“I want a daughter,” he lifts her up, squinting as if he can see a real kid in the soft pink plush. “And she looks like you.” < SMTH ABOUT THIS SCENE IS SOOO ENDEARING. mychest. myhechehst

“I could put eggs into her shoes,” you point out. “Like I did with that girl that bullied you in Junior High.” < reallygood.

He snorts wetly. “That was amazing, but no, I don’t… I just wanted her to like me.” His face is pressed against your shoulder now and you can feel his mouth move against the fabric of your shirt when he talks. < No longer feelignreally good. Myleg

“Mika’s not just some girl.” < NO LONGER FEELIGNREALYL GOOODODFAWWKAKK

the first kiss…. so silly and awkawrrd…yeahghh… tyah. “You think?” Suguru asks, clearly downfallen by this failure. He always just wants to be cool. < NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOSERBOY /AFFECTIOANTE

“I know!” Mika howls, clearly exasperated now. “I know! I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing. That’s why I’m asking you for advice!” < smth about this scnee is jsut soo. highschool kids not knowing what to do about romance. very real. YEOWCH but real.

Looking at him feels like a punch to the throat. You can tell that he’s happy without him having to say it. Mika’s nowhere to be seen but it still feels as if she’s wrapped around him. < Ok. O.K. thats fien. im really normal about this. im like erally normal about this. IM REALLY NORMAL

Mika must have talked to Suguru because he’s not dragging you with them anymore. And while you had thought that there could be nothing worse than being the third wheel on one of their dates, being forgotten is so so so much worse. < OUCHIEEEE OUCHCHH OUCCHHIEE OUCHHC OYEOEOWUUCCHHH

“You want both Outside Hitters. They are both tall, broad shouldered and have a lot of energy and drive, so you think that would balance out your lethargic teammates. But that’s a risky move. One of them moves like he’s chugged ten cans of Monster before the game and the other feels like this game is the beginning of his murder-spree.” < IDK something about this is supah good to me. i’m always rlly bad w getting into details and thinking like this.. Stay Awesome and Thoughtful Dira! and kuroo u silly guy i love u mr watch from the shadows. UR BANTER IS GOING OFF THE CHARTS 2DAY DIRA!

So you force yourself to smile in every picture, pretending you don’t see the second button of his blazer missing. < ohhh…. ohh… good little detail……..

“If you’re dating Kuroo we can no longer be friends,” Suguru bites out and you nod, get up and throw your ice cream in the trash. < somethign abotu this scene ending. OUCHIEEEE this is literally what i do when someone unknowingly hurts my feelings or i get upset liek ohghawwahddd what am i doing in ehre…. GAAWDDD

Suguru calls out your name. There’s something in his voice, a softer, more vulnerable tone, that makes you turn around. His shoulders are down and he’s staring at the ground and you know, just by looking at him, that he lost. / You don’t know if it’s a game or a thing, a person or an idea, but there’s something to it, the fact that he comes to you for comfort, that soothes some of the hurt. < Ok. ahahbahag……. the pacing of the scene and the dialogue is SOOO real u can feel the tension building and break and resignation (?) and old friendship that never really went/goes away but keeping up walls Because ur still trying to protect urself and to move on and u have developed reader in such a good real way throughout this really truly AAAAUGHH

He doesn’t forget your graduation, but ice cream just doesn’t taste the same way it used to. / You wish you could have stopped this ritual when it was still fun. < Tatsh’ awesome. i odnteven care. hah…. hafgh…

If someone would ask you for the name of your best friend, you’re no longer sure what you’d answer. < 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

All in all, it feels a little more like having a new best friend, just that Moriwaka likes to tell you how good you’re looking every single day. < this whole bit. Oh man. it being nice But just. nice. everything should work everything is working but there’s obviously something wrong and missing and we’re going with it Ok. thtatsaweomosme.

“You’ve been posting pictures of your favorite drink lately and there’s only one shop in Tokyo who makes it exactly the way you like it, so I thought I’d try over here. Remembered the dude’s name too, can you believe it?” < this guy is so silly. i’d also be proud of myself if i figured it out though like this convo is so real to me

AND IT FEELS LIEK YESTERDAY IT FEELS LIKE YOURE SIX LIKE YOURE THIRTEEN LIKE YOURE SEVENTEEN 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

If you could have a chance to get stuck in time, you’d take it if it meant being with him, hands not quite touching, bare faces reflected in the clear doors of an oversized fridge. 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

“Do you want to play family?” You ask, voice a little rough, eyes a little watery too. “We can even get a dog.” / He smiles so wide you can barely see his eyes. / But when he leans in and kisses you, nose softly bumping yours and chuckles ringing through the air, you have to disagree with your younger self. / Kissing isn’t overrated at all. If anything, it’s probably underrated. < WHO FAWKING CHEERED. MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AWIHAHAAWAAAUWWAA

He stumbles a bit, turning to look at you. Surprise, joy and then deep adoration wash over his face in a way you’ll never grow tired off. Suguru’s hand slides into the back pocket of your jeans and you know, would there be less people around, he’d be kissing you too. < GIF OF ANIME GIRL I DONT REMEMBER SMILING WITH HER HANDS TO HER CHEEKS JUMPING LEFT AND RIGHT

It doesn’t matter, though. / You’re not with Suguru because he’s got the best chance at winning the game and he knows it. And no matter the outcome of this game, there’s already a small velvet box at home that he thinks you don’t know about. / Like he could keep any secrets from you. < NOOOO WAYYYYYYYYYYY 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯FAKAAAWWAAAKK

There’s Princess, your husky-mix and Kuroo, the little black Frenchie that his namesake gifted you at your wedding. < ogmhyomgomomfomdofmodm THE WHOLE LAST SCENE the banter and everyhting feelign so Normal and regular and lovely YEHAAAAHYEAYAHAHHHH DIRA!!!!!!!! THIS WAS SOOO SUPAH GOOD ohmyhogd they had a daughter. NOOAWAYAYYYYY OMFHHHH

Who's gonna break my heart - Daishou Suguru x Reader

Friends to Strangers to Lovers - Title inspired by my current dopamine song "Dangerously Anxious" by MUNN

Words: over 8k so pace yourself

- 18/17

You know something’s up when Suguru enters the gym with a girl. He’s already late, but the girl’s not wearing any gym clothes. So not a new manager.

She’s one year above you and you’ve seen her around. Yamanaka Mika or something. She’s cute and bile rises up your throat at that thought. No.

“Guys,” Suguru’s grin is genuine, playful, a little proud even, “I want you to meet someone. This is Mika, my girlfriend.”

Sō immediately stands guard beside you. He’s the libero and the second-closest friend you have on this team. Well, he might get bumped up as of today. 

“Mika, this is the team.” He introduces them by name and the first-years blush under his praise. The third-years are not impressed, hitting him back with sly remarks that have Suguru blush instead.

Finally, he ends with you.

“And this is my best friend from childhood. I told you about her,” he introduces you and you have to fight everything in you not to snarl at him. Instead, you offer Mika your hand to shake, boiling inside. 

She stays around to watch. You keep your distance. 

When the first break runs around and you start handing out water bottles she slinks up beside you, asking for Suguru’s. You’re more than glad you don’t have to give it to him, couldn’t stand the risk of touching him right now. 

You manage not to talk to him about anything other than volleyball until training ends.

He leaves quickly, aiming to walk Mika home. You stay behind.

“You okay?” Sō asks quietly as you gather your things.

“Mhm,” you nod, “Just peachy. Thanks for asking.”

“I don’t like her,” he promises and you snort. “You don’t have to. If he wants to get himself a girlfriend, that has nothing to do with me. She might be nice, you know. It’s not her fault he’s the way he is.”

Sō nods, but he doesn’t seem convinced. He asks if you want to walk home together but you decline. The quiet will do you good.

- 5/4

“Well, you stink,” Daishou declares with an air of finality. He’s small for a five year old, you’re almost the same height.

You don’t blink. He starts to grow anxious, his legs twiddling as if he has to pee.

“Why aren’t you crying?” He asks, clearly annoyed you don’t react like anyone else he’s met before.

“I was waiting if you’d come up with something better,” you say, “But I should have known you don’t have any good ideas.”

“Hey!” He yelps, “That’s not fair! That was a good insult!”

You snort and his lip starts to quiver.

“No way,” someone whispers behind you, “Is Daishou going to cry? What a whimp.”

“I’m not a whimp!” Daishou declares, eyes already reddening. “Take that back.”

You turn your best lazy stare at the person who had muttered that insult. In less than a second he backs away. You might not be a pretty little girl like your mother wanted, but you know how to keep the boys at bay.

“Come,” you take Daishou’s hand and pull him toward the far edge of the playground, “I’m gonna teach you some cool insults.”

- 18/17

“What do you want?” You ask instead of a greeting. Suguru snorts into the phone.

“Wow, what hellhole did you crawl out today?”

“It’s called a period, thank you very much.” That’s a lie. But he doesn’t like that topic, so it’s always safe.

“Whatever,” he grunts, “I just wanted to ask what you think about Mika.”

“I’m not into her if that’s what you’re asking.”

He gasps before laughing. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“How did that even happen?” You ask, hoping against hope that he doesn’t hear the despair lacing your voice. He needs to believe you don’t care. “Did you pay her to do it?”

“Excuse me?!” Suguru’s affronted. “I don’t have to pay girls- You know I could-” He sighs before starting anew. “She asked me out. Can you believe it? I never had a cute girl like me before.”

That stings. But, you try to comfort yourself, he doesn’t know you like him. So maybe you’re still a cute girl in his head. Just not one he’s interested in.

“Miracles happen every day,” you tell him, working around the clog in your throat, “But I need to get going, okay? I still have homework to do.”

“Oh, okay, sure. I’ll see you in the morning. We can walk to school.”

“Yeah, okay.” You hope he forgets. 

He doesn’t.

.

Suguru’s always been touchy. He was the kid who sat on his mother's lap until she pushed him off and though he made you swear on your life that it didn’t happen, he used to be the one grabbing your hand on the way home from kindergarten.

And it used to be your thing. 

How he pulls on your arm when he’s excited or slings his arm around your shoulders, shaking you. How he presses his face against yours, eye against eye, to make sure you really got his joke. 

But you can’t help but feel sick now, at the thought of it. Because it doesn’t mean what you thought it meant. And he’s probably going to do it with Mika now.

“Hey,” he pulls on your backpack as a greeting, dragging ice-cold fingertips along your neck. You shiver and he shows a wicked grin. “Still cranky?” 

“Was I ever?” You snap back and he cocks his head, tongue slipping out as he musters you. It’s adorable and you hate yourself for thinking so.

“You wanna get chocolate milkshakes after school?”

“I’m fine,” you point out. “And you’re going to walk Mika home, right?”

“Are you jealous?” He asks and your heart stops for a painful moment until he laughs. “Come on, we’ve been best friends forever. I’m sure she’d like some Milkshakes too.”

And it’s like that, for days, and weeks on end.

Everything you used to do together is now something you have to share with Mika.

Until she breaks up with him.

- 9/8

“Can we play family?” You ask, a bit more confident in the coziness of your own bedroom. Your parents make more money than Suguru’s, you can tell. It’s no surprise he likes hanging out at your place more. You prefer it the other way, like the warmth of their kitchen and the noise, always someone around to talk. You like his older sister who teases him relentlessly and his mother who always calls you cute.

But you’ve got better toys so you’re hanging out at your place. And since it’s your place, you call the shots.

“Again?” He asks, but already picks up the Squishmallow you usually use as a kid. You own two and the other one’s sitting next to your bedroom door, playing dog.

“Today,” you declare your newest idea proudly, “I’m going to make a lot of money. I work in finance, like my dad.”

Suguru nods, gently nursing the Squishmallow kid in his arms. “Should I stay home with the kid then?”

“Yeah,” you nod, “You could make some dinner for when I come home. Do you want to have a Hobby, like Mom?” 

“Oh yeah,” he grins, “I’m going to be a famous volleyball player on the side. They only have to train and win games, so I have more then enough time to care for our kid and the dog. Do we have a daughter or a son?”

“I don’t know. What do you want?”

“I want a daughter,” he lifts her up, squinting as if he can see a real kid in the soft pink plush. “And she looks like you.”

- 18/17

It’s Sō who tells you. He happened to walk past them on the way to training, couldn’t help but overhear. 

“You’re such a bore, all you ever do is focus on club activities,” Sō repeats before you can stop him.

He opens his mouth to ask, but the gym doors open. Suguru looks positively mad.

“What are you doing?” He asks Sō, voice sharp. “This is supposed to be training. Start running!” He turns to you but you don’t even let him open his mouth.

“Suguru,” your voice is cold, clear and cuts through him like always. “Can I talk to you outside for a second?” 

He huffs. “What if I don’t want to?”

“Then I’ll have to ask Coach to tell you to talk to me. You want that?”

“No,” he snarls, turning back to where he came from. “Hurry up, I want to train.”

“Warn the others,” you whisper in Sō’s direction and follow Suguru outside.

There’s a group of trees not far from the Gym that’s pretty much secluded. 

Suguru swings as if to punch one of the trees but you’re faster, grabbing his elbow and pulling back.

“We still need your hands,” you huff, “Keep it together.”

“I don’t want-”

“I know,” you pull him in, hug him as tight as he allows. “I know.”

You don’t know how long you’re standing like this, Suguru trembling like a leaf. He’s always been a crybaby, even if he’s a little ashamed to admit it.

“Want me to egg her house?” You ask, wishing that just once he’d hug you back. 

“No, that’s stupid.”

“I could put eggs into her shoes,” you point out. “Like I did with that girl that bullied you in Junior High.”

He snorts wetly. “That was amazing, but no, I don’t… I just wanted her to like me.” His face is pressed against your shoulder now and you can feel his mouth move against the fabric of your shirt when he talks. 

“Maybe I should quit Volleyball.”

“Because some girl told you it was boring? Suguru, you’re better than that.”

“Mika’s not just some girl.”

You swallow thickly, unable to snap back for the first time since you can remember. 

If only he’d say such things about you too.

“Well,” You manage after a while, “You’ll just have to win Nationals then. Show her what you’re made of.”

“Yeah,” he nods and pulls back, your sign to let go. “You’re right.”

He wipes his eyes and tries a shaky smile.

“Let’s beat Nekoma to a pulp.”

You roll your eyes. “You and that team. But if it makes you happy, we will.”

- 13/12

“Have you kissed somebody yet?” Suguru asks.

It’s a nice day out and you’re using your huge garden for Volleyball practice.

You don’t like playing it that much, but since Suguru doesn’t have that many male friends to play with, you don’t mind helping him out.

“No, you?”

“No.”

You wait, knowing he’ll eventually explain himself.

“Haizaki said it’s lame if you haven’t kissed anyone yet,” Suguru explains and leaps into the air to spike a ball.

You receive it, albeit a bit clumsily, and the ball tapers off into the shrubbery to your left.

“I told him that I kissed you,” he says instead of moving, and since you don’t really like Volleyball all that much you stay where you are. You have to move enough as it is already.

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” Suguru’s glaring at the shrubbery now. “Haizaki didn’t believe me at first. I showed him that picture from the festival last year. Now he thinks you’re too cute to be kissing me.”

You snort and drop to the floor, too lazy to keep standing. “Did you tell him how I bit your chin when you tried to put your arm around my shoulder for that picture.”

“No,” now he’s the one snorting. “But I should have.”

“Mhm.”

“Do you wanna kiss?”

You knew that question would come. Still, you don’t really have an answer to it. 

You put your head on your knees and pear up at him, blinking through your eyelashes until he blurs into a shapeless blob.

You don’t really care about kissing. Or boys. There’s no one in your life that’s as close to you as Suguru is. You’re friendly with your classmates, but most of what they want to talk about is boring.

Maybe you don’t want to kiss. Or think about it. But Suguru wants it. So you can at least try, right? 

“Fine,” you stretch out your hands, ask him to pull you up. As soon as you’re standing you press your lips to his.

It’s awkward, and not at all nice. His mouth is slightly open, a little wet with saliva or maybe sweat and his nose bumps almost painfully into yours.

Suguru squeaks as you move away, grabbing your hands to pull you back in. This time your teeth knock against each other and it hurts even more.

“Maybe,” you say, your face pressed against his shoulder when he’s still not letting you go, “Haizaki also never kissed a girl. Maybe it’s totally overrated and disgusting but he just thought you’d believe him.”

“You think?” Suguru asks, clearly downfallen by this failure. He always just wants to be cool.

“Yeah, you just need to be really confident when you tell him that you’re not interested in that. You know? Like, tell the class that Haizaki’s so bad in school because all he thinks about are girls. If you sound like you mean it, everyone will gang up on Haizaki. I do that too and it works all the time.”

His arms, clammy with sweat, loosen their hold on you. His adams apple is bobbing up and down as he steps back.

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” he says, voice still a little unsure, “Can we… can we play some more volleyball?”

“If we must,” you groan and his smile flickers back to life, this mischievous teasing thing you’ve grown fond of. 

He pinches your side and moves toward the shrubbery.

“Fifty receives or you don’t get any ice-cream.”

“This is my house, you know!”

- 18/17

“Can I talk to you for a second?”

 Sō’s eyebrows shoot up but you remain calm.

“Of course,” you say, following Mika out of your classroom and down the hallway into an empty classroom. You think this one’s reserved for Music Club.

“I wanted to ask,” she looks nervously to the side before continuing, “if you and Suguru… Are you… dating?”

You allow Silence to settle before you answer. The question hurts you just as much as it might hurt her to ask and if you can make her suffer a little longer, you will.

“No.”

“Oh,” she looks like she expected a different answer, as if she’s not sure where to go from here.

“Is there anything else?”

“Yes!” She surges forward, boxing you in. “I… I want to apologize.”

“For what?”

“For breaking up.”

“You’re talking to the wrong person then.”

She huffs, crossing her arms now. “Could you be any less helpful?”

“What do you want me to do?” You snap, losing the small of patience you had.

She slinks back, shrinking into herself. “I just… I kinda think it was a stupid decision. But I don’t know. Do you think Suguru liked me? Like, really liked me? You’re his best friend.”

“I don’t know,” you offer helpfully, “I’ve never been in a relationship. I don’t know what really liking someone means.”

And you’re being honest this time, even if she might not believe you. You only know that Suguru doesn’t really like you like that. 

“Kaya… my friend… she said that maybe you’re into him and that’s why we broke up.”

You straighten, hands balled to fists.

“You broke up with him,” you hiss, “Don’t you dare pin this on him.”

“I know!” Mika howls, clearly exasperated now. “I know! I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing. That’s why I’m asking you for advice!”

You stiffen, turn toward the window. You can think better when you’re not looking at her, when you can pretend she’s not looking at you.

If someone asks you about this, if someone ever dares to question it, you will deny it with everything you’ve got, but you can’t… you just can’t-

“Just come to our next game,” you tell her, voice tired. “We’re playing against Nekoma for the Qualifiers. He hates that team. You can decide there how you want to go on.” You turn and move for the door. But something just needs to be said, even if you don’t want to speak it into existence.

“And he’s not into me. Suguru, I mean. We’re friends. I just don’t have that many and I’m not used to sharing, that’s all.”

You leave her standing there, don’t turn back to look.

Instead, you go straight to the school nurse, wait until she calls your mum to come and pick you up. 

You feel sick to your stomach and even though the Congee she cooks does little to soothe that kind of hurt, you don’t argue against it.

.

Mika doesn’t ask to speak to you again.

But she’s at your match against Nekoma, you can spot her in the crowd. When she approaches the team after your loss you’re glad that the team moves away in unison.

You don’t want to be there when it happens.

“Maybe you should date someone too,” Sō offers. He’s remarkably calm about their loss. “Kuguri and you are quite similar. You could get along.”

“What?” Kuguri turns to look at you, “I heard my name.”

“You have ears,” you praise him, “Good job.”

He scowls and turns away again. 

You close your eyes, lean your back against the wall. 

“I think I’m going to focus on school work,” you admit, “Leave the Club.”

Takachiho gasps. “Leave the Club? You?”

“What?” You scowl, “Like you care. You’re leaving this year anyway.”

“Yeah, but the Club needs you!” Seguro sidles up to you, “You’re our Manager.”

“Like you can’t fill your water bottles without me,” you snarl. 

“I bet,” Numai mutters darkly, rubbing his chin, “If you’d get your ass on it, you could turn this team around.”

“Is that a dare?” You ask, stepping up to him. “Do you really think you can dare me to do better?”

“Absolutely! I bet you could get rid of these cheap tactics and get us to Nationals without Suguru interfering.”

Hiroo snorts. “You do know, Numai, that our dear Manager is worse than our Captain when it comes to trashtalking, right?”

Your smile grows as Numai’s flickers and fades.

“But,” he starts just as someone clears his throat behind you. 

“Something going on?” Suguru asks.

Looking at him feels like a punch to the throat. You can tell that he’s happy without him having to say it. Mika’s nowhere to be seen but it still feels as if she’s wrapped around him. 

The team lunges forward.

If anyone notices that you’re not taking part in their playful attack, they don’t address it. 

You sneak away undisturbed.

.

Seguro’s named Captain a few days later. 

Mika must have talked to Suguru because he’s not dragging you with them anymore. And while you had thought that there could be nothing worse than being the third wheel on one of their dates, being forgotten is so so so much worse.

School is boring you. Training is torture. You need something to occupy your mind.

- 18/17

“All alone?” Someone settles heavily on the chair next to you.

You don’t have to look up. You’d know that honeysmoothed voice anywhere.

“Not interested, roosterhead.”

Kuroo chuckles softly. “Don’t bite, Snakelet. I just want to make some friendly conversation.”

“Sure, sure. So you’re not here to scope out the competition?” You don’t take your eyes off the game. 

Below your seats the game is reaching it’s Finale. 

“Which one do you want?” Kuroo asks, mouth so close to your ear his breathe washes over your face. You don’t flinch.

“If I had to guess you want the Captain. He’s got an amazing defense. And with your stupid First-Year you’ll need some good defense.”

“Now now, don’t insult Lev like that.” Kuroo stretches, yawns and rests his arm on your shoulder. “He’s even dumber than you make him out to be.”

You can’t help but laugh at that comment. At least he’s self-aware.

“Go on,” you nudge your elbow into his side, “Tell me who I’m picking.”

“You want both Outside Hitters. They are both tall, broad shouldered and have a lot of energy and drive, so you think that would balance out your lethargic teammates. But that’s a risky move. One of them moves like he’s chugged ten cans of Monster before the game and the other feels like this game is the beginning of his murder-spree.”

“I need someone with Stamina,” you agree, “If I can get both of them, I will. If I can get only one of them, I’ll take Mr. Murderspree.”

“Good.” Kuroo grins. “I don’t want our games to get boring.”

You roll your eyes. “They’re not our games, Roosterhead. You’re graduating.”

“Ah,” he pinches your chin. “But I’m still watching, you know. From the shadows.”

You snort. “Sure. If that gives you closure.” You get up. “You can stay here if you want, I need to get going. First one to get a student to sign on your team wins.”

“Loser pays the drinks,” he calls after you.

.

You’re not sure how it happened or when. You don’t even know what to call this. 

Suguru is your best friend, so Kuroo can’t be it. Kuroo is Suguru’s enemy and you’re pretty sure you don��t feel the same way about him, so he can’t be that either.

You’d call him an annoying cousin you’re not related to if these conversations wouldn’t sound so much like flirting nowadays. 

In some weird way you think he understands you, or at least how your brain works. He’s pointed out, often enough to remember, that you remind him of Kenma. 

And you’d argue against it, but he’s never once insulted Suguru in front of you. Talking shit about Kenma feels like disrespecting that truce. Even if you feel a lot smarter than a guy who’s cosplaying a bowl of pudding.

.

“Congratulations,” Kuroo sets your coffee down in front of you before taking a seat, “Both Outside Hitters and the Setter, I’m impressed.”

“He’s more of a glorified Pinch Server, but thank you.” You drag your spoon through the foam in your cup, destroying the artwork the barista created. You’re not in the mood for little foam hearts today. “How’s your new Captain doing?”

“Terrible, but that’s to be expected.”

“Same.” You let your eyes wander through the café only to get caught on something outside. You know that jacket, that haircut, that smi-

“Everything okay?” Kuroo peers down at you. 

“Dropped my earring,” you claim, patting the floor. Outside Suguru kisses Mika goodbye and turns with one last wave of his arm before jogging of.

You get back into your seat, ignore the amused twinkle in Kuroo’s eyes and dare to think that you’ve got out of this alive - until someone appears next to you.

“Oh, hi!” Mika blinks with a smile, “Suguru just left, what a surprise! I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Likewise,” you press out. 

“Hi, I’m Kuroo,” Kuroo offers her his hand, “You’re Daishou’s girlfriend, right?”

“Yeah,” her smile brightens, “I’m sorry, I don’t know you, are you from Nohebi?”

“No,” he shakes his head, but doesn’t disclose his own school. You don’t flatter yourself with thinking it’s because of your glaring. “Just visiting a friend.”

“Oh,” Mika rests a hand on her chest, “Sorry, I didn’t know- of course, I’ll leave you to it.” She all but flutters away. You want to leave.

Kuroo, however, leans over the table, grinning like the literal Chesire Cat.

“She thinks we’re dating.”

“I don’t care what she thinks,” you snarl.

“Oh?” His eyebrows lift to where you can’t see them. “Ohoh?”

“Not like that,” you groan, “Get your head out of the gutter.”

“What? I could date you,” he twirls his spoon between his fingers, “Don’t all girls want an older boyfriend?”

“I think it’s more about wanting a smarter boyfriend,” you point out, “So I doubt we’d fit that scheme.”

“You wound me,” he huffs playfully, “But if you ever want to make someone jealous you can call me up anytime.”

“Thanks, I already hate that idea.”

- 18/17

It’s a shame you cannot skip graduation. 

It’s not even your own but you know Suguru would never let you live it down. 

So you force yourself to smile in every picture, pretending you don’t see the second button of his blazer missing. 

Ever since Kindergarten he’s been one year above you. Ever since Kindergarten, you went out for ice cream afterwards, you paying for his on his graduation and him paying for yours the next year.

This year he asks if he can bring Mika along. You pay for him, he pays for her and when it’s time for you to pick your own ice cream all you want to do is go home and sleep.

But you can’t, so you pick the first flavor you see, not wanting to ruin the taste of your favorite ice cream with this awful memory.

“This is a cute spot,” Mika announces when you’ve found a spot outside under an oak tree, “We should come here for a date. What do you think?” She addresses you all of a sudden, “We could do a double date.”

Suguru chokes on his ice cream.

“Double date?” He asks. “Is there something I don’t know?”

Mika’s eyes widen. “Oh, was it a secret?”

“No,” you grind through your teeth, “It’s not a secret because I don’t have a boyfriend. Or date anyone. I just met someone I know while I was scouting new players.”

“Who?” He asks, brows furrowed. 

“He’s got dark hair,” Mika explains, “Kinda messy like Kuguri-”

“Kuroo?” Suguru bristles, eyes turning wide. “You went out with Kuroo?”

Something turns to ice inside you.

“Yes,” you say, “I went out with him. Who cares?”

“He’s-”

“The Ex-Captain of a team that didn’t win Nationals. Wow. How outstanding.”

“My arch-enemy!” Suguru thunders, “And you know that.”

“Please,” you huff, “He barely knows you exist.”

“Take that back!”

“No.” 

“I didn’t think-” Mika starts but you shut her up with a glare. 

“I don’t butt into your relationship,” you clarify, “So you don’t get to butt into mine.” 

“You’re dating-?” Suguru gasps for air, “Kuroo?”

“Does it matter? No. I was here to celebrate your graduation not to discuss my lovelife.”

“If you’re dating Kuroo we can no longer be friends,” Suguru bites out and you nod, get up and throw your ice cream in the trash.

“Fine. If that’s how you want it, I’ll accept. Goodbye.”

You march away, don’t look back. You don’t want Suguru to see that your eyes start to water as the ice inside you slowly melts.

.

You: If your house gets egged this week, Suguru thinks we’re dating.

Roosterhead: Oh? Buy me Dinner first.

You: I’m not dating you.

Roosterhead: I’m heartbroken. You good though? 

You: I will be after we demolish Nekoma.

Roosterhead: Looking forward to you trying.

- 19/18

Seguro and Yamamoto are shaking hands but all you care about are the glowing eyes of their setter who rest on you, unblinking.

You’ve lost this time, but you’re not giving up. It’s only a Training Match after all and as soon as you’ve figured out how to balance out your team, you’ll be fine.

Still, it sucks that you’ve lost to Kenma. Of all people.

“Hey,” Sō nudges you with his elbow, nodding toward the door. “We’ve got a visitor.”

He didn’t need to tell you. You spotted Suguru half an hour ago but decided to ignore him.

The last two months have been filled with somewhat strained communication, mostly held up by Mika who’s trying her best to mend a friendship you no longer believe in.

He’s chosen Mika over you. You’ll be able to live with that, someday. 

“Hey,” someone else speaks up from your other side. You turn to Kenma, who’s looking the other way.

“Yeah?”

“Kuroo mentioned something… about you…”

“So?”

He huffs. “I think I have an idea you’d be interested in.”

You’ll never admit that you only agree to buy into Bouncing Ball Corp because Suguru is watching you, but in all honesty, you’d probably agree to selling fridges in the arctic if it buys you a few more minutes away from him.

It doesn’t matter in the end. He stays until everyone else has left, hands buried in his pockets, nodding at the players that know him, rolling his eyes at those who don’t.

“What’s going on?” You ask when you’ve run out of reasons to avoid him, the gym empty besides the two of you.

“Can’t I come see my best friend?”

“I don’t know, are they in the room with us?”

He huffs. 

“I mean you.”

“Could have fooled me.”

You turn away, take a few steps just to put space where there used to be none.

Suguru calls out your name. There’s something in his voice, a softer, more vulnerable tone, that makes you turn around. His shoulders are down and he’s staring at the ground and you know, just by looking at him, that he lost. 

You don’t know if it’s a game or a thing, a person or an idea, but there’s something to it, the fact that he comes to you for comfort, that soothes some of the hurt.

“What did you do now, you fool?” You ask and maybe there’s something in your voice too, because he takes a few steps and pulls you in, rests his head against your shoulder where no one can see if he cries or not.

“Coach kicked me off the starting Line-Up,” he admits, “I’m just a pinch server.”

“So?” You ask, “You were a Pinch Server when you started at Nohebi. Those things take time.”

“Yeah,” he croaks, “But I also failed my first exam.”

“Mhm,” you hum, “Math?”

“Yeah.”

“What else?”

He huffs. “Who says-”

“What else, Suguru?”

“I can’t get a job. Like, I’ve tried but the only shops that might take me are the fast food joints around College and the hours there are terrible. And I need to train.”

You sigh. He hasn’t changed at all.

“Have you talked to Mika about it?” You ask and you know your voice sounds a little condescending right now, but he deserves it, right? 

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want her to know,” he huffs, tensing as you try to push him away. “Please?”

“I’m not your manager any longer,” you point out. “You’re old enough to get yourself out of the mess you got yourself into. I’m not here to-”

“Please,” he repeats, but there’s a different tone to it now, “This is not why I came, okay? I just… you always know- Ugh, you just understand me, okay? I need to talk to someone who understands. Please?”

“Fine,” you let your bag slip from your shoulder, “You carry my bag and I’ll listen.”

And it’s a tale as old as time, you think, as you walk next to him, almost knocking your hip into his from. 

Suguru’s not stupid. He just gets too much in his head about how things should be like until he can no longer see the big picture. And as much as he enjoys dishing out, he cannot take a hit for the life of him.

“So?” You ask when you reach the cross roads that separate your houses, “Feeling better?”

“Yeah,” he nods, “I- I wanted to say… If you want to date Kuroo, that’s fine.”

You balk. “What?”

“Yeah,” he grimaces, “I mean, I don’t like him, but if you think he’s decent enough…”

“I’m not dating him.”

“Kenma then?”

“Just shut up, okay?” You snarl. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not- I don’t care- You know, let’s just say you won’t mind and forget about this, okay?”

“No,” he shakes his head, “I want to talk about this. You’re my best friend. I’m sorry I neglected you. You’re doing a good job with the team, better than I did when I was Captain last year. And Mika… she’s sorry too. This is my idea, coming here and talking to you, but I know she feels bad too. She’s just… I think she got a little excited at the idea of us going on double dates. But it wasn’t right putting it out like that.”

“It doesn’t matter,” you repeat, too stubborn to give in, “But I appreciate it. What are you going to do now?”

“Oh, study for math, keep looking for jobs,” he huffs, dragging his hands through his hair. 

“I meant today,” you snort and he blushes awkwardly. 

“Then say it like that, idiot. You wanna play some volleyball? I have the time.”

“No,” you shake your head, “But I could use some math practice.”

- 19/18

It’s weird, still. 

Suguru makes an effort to come over once a week. It helps that you can give him pointers in his math studies, but it’s not the way it was before.

He’s too touchy for a guy with a girlfriend. And though you’ve got your heart on a tight leash you can tell it’s much too easy to get lost in this until something reminds you of the truth.

So you do what everyone would do in your situation.

You ask Kuguri out. 

It goes about as well as one would expect. 

Sure, you could ask Kuroo. You’re pretty sure he’d do it, but you don’t want to ruin a perfectly fine friendship - if you could call it that.

Soon matches and exams turn up back to back and all you see of Suguru are the short messages he sends whenever he remembers.

He doesn’t forget your graduation, but ice cream just doesn’t taste the same way it used to.

You wish you could have stopped this ritual when it was still fun.

- 20/19

If someone would ask you for the name of your best friend, you’re no longer sure what you’d answer.

There’s Suguru, who you rarely talk to, yet know better than yourself most days.

There’s Sō, who’s taking the same Classes as you, who you’ve shared quite a few wins and failures with since attending Nohebi. 

And then there’s Kuroo, who’s an absolute pain in the ass, but at least he’s reliable.

“I want to get paid for this,” you tell him when you hand over the CD. “I spent a while analyzing all that footage.”

“Ah, you love doing it,” Kuroo teases, moving to ruffle your hair, “Besides you always bet on Bokuto. I’m just helping you get your money through that.”

“I do not,” you grind through your teeth. You hate him sometimes.

“Do to,” he jokes, turning when something catches your attention. “The Barista has the hots for you.”

You snort. “Yeah, sure.”

“Absolutely.” Kuroo gestures with his hands before grinning. “See? He wants your number.”

“What?” You squeak, turning to look for yourself. The guy isn’t bad-looking at all. Maybe a bit less athletic than you’re used to. And he’s waving at you, gesturing in a way that can really only mean one thing.

“Well, I’m not giving it to him.”

“Why not?” Kuroo leans back, eyes twinkling. “Would you rather go out with me? Oh, Snakelet, I’m honored.”

“Fine,” you bite out, “I’ll get his.”

Kuroo’s still grinning when you come back, leaning over the table to look at your phone.

“Ah, so that’s his name. Now, I’m waiting. Text him.”

“Why?”

“Because I won’t believe you otherwise.”

“You’re sick in the head.”

“Mhm, you too. Now chop chop, we don’t have all day.”

If you say that your first relationship only exists because of Kuroo, you mean it.

.

Moriwaka isn’t all that bad. He might just be exactly what you need.

He studies Psychology, works part-time as a Barista, and collects Star Trek memorabilia, which means you have literally nothing in common and so much more to talk about.

And it’s nice, how he never once asks about Suguru - they’ve only met briefly - or Volleyball - he doesn’t like Sports - or your parents - he’s not into Finance.

He doesn’t push you either.

You don’t like being touched? That’s fine with him, he’s happy sidling up to you on the way to the Cinema - he bought two tickets for the newest Star Trek movie. 

All in all, it feels a little more like having a new best friend, just that Moriwaka likes to tell you how good you’re looking every single day.

- 20/19

“I’m going to use the bathroom,” you say, getting up from the Couch. 

“I’m pausing the movie,” Moriwaka announces, “This is the best part.”

You’d probably disagree with him if you cared enough, but it’s fine. Star Trek is important to him and he never once complains when you make him rewatch a Volleyball Game.

The doorbell rings just as you close the door behind you.

“That’s probably the Pizza,” he announces. You yawn.

The window doesn’t close properly but you don’t care, no one can see you pee anyway.

“What are you doing here?” Moriwaka’s voice floats up.

“I’m looking for someone.” You freeze, the voice too familiar. What’s Suguru doing here?

He says your name.

“Ah, she’s not here.” You can hear Moriwaka, your heart thumping awkwardly in your chest. Why is Suguru looking for you if he could just call you?

“No, no, I’m sure she’s here.”

“So what? She doesn’t want to see you.”

You fumble the door lock trying to get out. What’s Moriwaka doing?

It doesn’t take long to get out of the apartment and down the stairs, but it feels like half an eternity.

The door is open and you can hear Moriwaka before you can see him.

“I’ve seen your messages,” he announces, voice weirdly cold, “You only call to unload your baggage on her. You’re a pathetic, wet rag of a man.”

“And you’re any better?” Suguru snaps back, “You have no idea what’s between me and-”

“I’m her boyfriend,” Moriwaka announces just as you slide out the door behind him.

Suguru’s face turns perfectly blank at your sight, but Moriwaka isn’t lucky enough to get the hint.

“I’m not allowing you to talk to her.”

“I don’t think that’s your decision,” you tell him coolly. 

He turns, surprise evident on his face. But no guilt. 

“Listen, I’m just trying to protect you.”

“I don’t need your protection.”

He scoffs. “What? So you’re just going to let him drag you down again? He probably just lost another game. Or his girlfriend ran off or whatever.”

Suguru flinches. The breakup happened a few months ago, but he’s always been bad at taking hits. 

“It doesn’t matter,” you tell Moriwaka snidely, “He’s my best friend. You don’t have any say in that.”

“You’re just in love with him,” he spits out, “Right? That’s why you’re pushing me away all the time. You don’t really want to date me, you’re just passing time with me hoping he’ll suddenly turn around and be interested in you.”

Suguru steps forward, fists balled but you’re a little faster, always more inclined to use your tongue instead of your fists.

“Go,” you tell him, your calm facade your biggest weapon, “Your movie’s waiting. I’m sure Captain Whatever has some inspirational quotes for you to flirt with next time.”

Moriwaka huffs, but he’s not dumb enough to take the bait. Or maybe he doesn’t care enough either.

“Go, be unhappy if that’s what you want.” He slams the door shut behind him.

-

The night is warm, the air around you humid and heavy.

Suguru’s looking up at a nearby street lamp, clearly uncomfortable with the situation.

“You were looking for me?” You ask, not ready to deal with the can of worms Moriwaka just opened.

“Yeah, I…” He clears his throat. “I got… I got a deal. For the Yotsuya Motor Spirits. I know it’s only Division 2 but they’ll let me finish College while I play.”

“Oh, Congratulations,” you step forward, not really sure what you want to do, just knowing that you want to be closer.

“Thanks,” he clears his throat again, “I was… I was talking to my parents about it and when they hung up all I could think about was that I wanted to tell you. We haven’t… we haven’t talked in a while, right?”

“Yeah.” You want to ask him who’s fault that is, but really, isn’t it your fault too? After all you were the one who fell in love in the first place.

“How’d you know I was here?” You ask when he’s fighting for words, tongue slipping out between his lips as he thinks. It’s a habit he’s had since you’ve known him and altough you’ve tried to hate it, it just endears him even more to you.

“Ah,” He drags a hand through the hair at the back of his head, “I was at your place but you weren’t there. And I figured you might be out with friends, but Sō said you’re out with your boyf- some guy but he doesn’t know where that is.”

“So?” You did not miss the way he stumbled over the term boyfriend. Your heart’s beating too fast to be healthy, but there’s a smug grin on Suguru’s face now, a look that tells you this story is going into a different direction now.

“You’ve been posting pictures of your favorite drink lately and there’s only one shop in Tokyo who makes it exactly the way you like it, so I thought I’d try over here. Remembered the dude’s name too, can you believe it?”

You laugh. He’s unbelievable, so proud of himself and his most basic deduction skills.

“You did great,” you tell him, “You wanna talk a walk? I need a bathroom and I’m not going back up there.”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” he ushers you along, “There’s a 7-Eleven down the street.”

-

And it feels like yesterday, hips almost knocking into each other, walking down the street.

It feels like you’re six years old again and Suguru’s walking you home from school, his hand clutching yours because even though he’s older, he’s a bit more scared of the world.

It feels like you’re thirteen, only beginning to understand that some boys are gross and some boys are cute and why your heart flutters softly when Suguru’s tongue peaks out whenever he’s lost in thought. 

It feels like you’re seventeen, heart heavy yet ready to leap, calculating all the ways a confession could go wrong - and the one way it could go right - only to miss your chance.

“He’s right, you know,” Suguru points out in the too bright lights of the store when you come back from the bathroom. 

He’s staring at the cut up fruits in the fridge and maybe he’s thinking what to get for a late night smoothie, but maybe he’s thinking the same thing you’re thinking about.

How all 7-Eleven’s are kinda the same and if they are, is this a place out of time? A place you can stay in without getting older, without the consequence of change?

“I really am a pathetic,wet rag of a man.”

“Hmm,” you make, stepping so close to him your shoulder brushes his. If you’d be a little braver, you’d take his hand. 

If you could have a chance to get stuck in time, you’d take it if it meant being with him, hands not quite touching, bare faces reflected in the clear doors of an oversized fridge.

“I swear I’m not doing this because I’m lonely,” there’s a wetness to his voice that your ears are used to, grown fond of, even. The back of his pointer finger touches the back of your hand and his skin is warm and a shiver races down your back.

“And I should hate myself for breaking up what you had with that guy, but-”

You want to turn, look directly at him instead of his reflection in the glass, but you’re frozen in place, heart thundering so loud he must be able to hear it. 

“I’ve had a crush on you since… since way before I asked to practice kissing. You’re the coolest person I’ve ever known, and I… I’m so tired of pretending that someone else can compare. I’m sorry.” He whispers the last words, hiccups softly when your hand grabs his, squeezes as tight as you can.

You’re going to cry any second, you know, but you don’t want to, even if it’s him you’re with. 

You don’t want any tears to blurr your sight when you can look at him, see him, face flushed and eyes watery, all 179,5cm of pathetic, wet rag of a man.

“Do you want to play family?” You ask, voice a little rough, eyes a little watery too. “We can even get a dog.”

He smiles so wide you can barely see his eyes.

But when he leans in and kisses you, nose softly bumping yours and chuckles ringing through the air, you have to disagree with your younger self.

Kissing isn’t overrated at all. If anything, it’s probably underrated.

- 21/20

“Oh no, we have to play against you guys?” Bokuto’s voice’s too loud to ignore even in the bustle of a packed stadion.

Suguru bristles next to you but relaxes a little when your elbow digs into his side.

“Like they’re going to give you any problems,” Kuroo’s voice is smooth and sticky, clinging to your ears like caramel to the teeth. “Right?”

“Kuroo,” Suguru drawls, “You’re here too?”

“Well of course,” his grin reminds you of the famed Chesire Cat and your arm slings around Suguru’s waist, pulling him in. 

He stumbles a bit, turning to look at you. Surprise, joy and then deep adoration wash over his face in a way you’ll never grow tired off. Suguru’s hand slides into the back pocket of your jeans and you know, would there be less people around, he’d be kissing you too.

“Aww, cute,” Kuroo sings, “You didn’t hear anything I just said.”

“Should we?” You ask, “If I want to hear an asshole talk I can just fart.”

Suguru snickers even as Bokuto howls in the background, clearly excited to have a new insult to try on someone else.

But Kuroo wouldn’t be Kuroo if you could best him with one lame insult.

“Funny,” he smiles, “You’re managing today too?”

“No,” you shake your head, “Just here for Suguru.”

“And we’re going to win,” Suguru declares, “MSBY has no chance against the Yotsuya Motor Spirits.”

He says it with conviction, but you know the chances of him winning are low. MSBY have been rising to the top ever since they drafted Miya Atsumu right out of highschool. Now they’ve got Bokuto too. If they’d gotten Sakusa Kiyoomi too like they’d been planning for months, you’d bought the consolation cake already but at least he’s insistent on finishing College before he starts playing professionally. 

It doesn’t matter, though. 

You’re not with Suguru because he’s got the best chance at winning the game and he knows it. And no matter the outcome of this game, there’s already a small velvet box at home that he thinks you don’t know about.

Like he could keep any secrets from you.

- 27/26

“That’s all,” you cut off your assistant’s questioning, “Everything else has to wait until tomorrow.”

“I understand. Have a good evening.”

“You too.” You cut the call and park the car, thinking for the umpteenth time that you need to start looking into the possibility of hiring a driver. Some of these calls get too intense to be held at the wheel of a vehicle.

There’s a Volleyball on the front lawn and a chewed-up dog toy. You drag your keycard through the scanner and stifle a yawn as the door opens.

“I’m home,” you call out over the pitter-patter of feet.

There’s Princess, your husky-mix and Kuroo, the little black Frenchie that his namesake gifted you at your wedding. 

“Kitchen!” You hear a voice over the Princess howling. She’s always so excited to have you back home.

“Hey,” you can’t help smiling as you step into the kitchen, both dogs hot on your heels. Suguru’s standing at the stove, Hime tied to his front. Only a tuft of her dark hair is peaking out and you lean in to kiss him first and then the top of her head. 

“How was it?” He asks, “Tired?”

“Extremely so, but everything’s going well. Even Dad is impressed. How was your day?”

“Mh, no, you’ve got to tell first,” he insists, pulling you into his side, “Because I wanna hear your voice a bit more before I tell you about the absolutely disgusting diaper change I had to go through today.”

You laugh. “Okay, so you remember Mamushi, our Client?”

“Mamushi with the thick eyebrows or Mamushi who slurps every beverage?”

“Slurper Mamushi.”

“Okay, I’m following.”

“So, this morning I got an email from him where he claims that we’re charging him too much. He gave us two options: Reduce the cost or dismiss the contract altogether.”

“Oh, that’s spicy. What did you do?”

“Well, remember how I had to cut our lunch call short? I met up with him for coffee right after and got down to business and you won’t believe it: he settled on a different contract that actually costs him more but he’s happy with it. Apparently he doesn’t like how it’s done nowadays and the old times were far better.”

“Amazing,” Suguru drops a kiss on your temple, “I would love to see the face of this man when he realizes how stupid he is. You’re a genius.”

You giggle.

“How was your day, then? Apart from the diaper catastrophe?”

“Well, I regret to inform you that Hime already has an admirer. Koji’s head over heels for her. I had to threaten him with bodily harm to get her back.”

“Oh, is that your libero?” You think, “The one with the Iro?”

“Yep, he died it pink last week.”

“Well, pink suggests he’s sensible. If Hime likes him too-”

“Don’t say that!” Suguru’s hands come down to cover Hime’s ears, “My princess isn’t going to date anyone until she’s at least thirty.”

“Mhm,” you lift your eyebrows, “And how are you going to explain to her that we had her way before we turned thirty?”

A blush works its way up his cheeks and you lean forward to sink your teeth into the flushed skin only to press your lips onto it right after.

“Love you,” you tell him, voice a bit raspy with emotion.

Sometimes, in moments like this, you can barely believe that this is how your life played out.

tagging: @lees-chaotic-brain @daisy-room @missalienqueen @marti-mp4 @itsmippe @jus-jazzy @wavesofchaos @moonlit-mizukage

My Kofi if you want to tip me

[6okuto]

NOWAY.

Whatjust Haproend ToMe

One Taro Bubble Tea, no Toppings - Akaashi x Reader

"One Taro Bubble Tea, no Toppings please," you ask and the cashier, a teenage girl, nods her head excitedly. She's probably new to the job, you think, and let your eyes wander while she works.

The store is small and there's a bell that twinkles whenever someone steps inside - like right now. You turn on instinct and can't help but gasp. Messy dark hair, dark blue eyes behind glasses, well-dressed even for a late Sunday morning, Akaashi looks like someone just cut him out of a fashion magazine. You turn back around before he can notice you staring, his eyes still pretty much glued to his phone.

Ever since you've sat next to him in the library you can't get him out of your head.

Not his looks and, more importantly, how you embarrassed yourself.

Thankfully, your drink is ready. The girl's already typing in the price and you move to fish your wallet out of your bag - only to come up empty-handed. Cold sweat breaks out along your spine. No. Nonono No.

"Everything okay?" A smooth voice asks behind you. Of course. Of course, Akaashi has to witness this too.

"Just peachy," You cough, "I just... uh, I forgot my wallet, could you... I'll be back in a minute, I just-"

"It's on me," Akaashi leans forward, his chest pressing into your back. There's the telltale beep of the card reader and the whirring of the printer but your mind's still caught in a frenzy, your body locked in between a state of frozen and burning.

Are you imagining things or can you feel Akaashi's heartbeat through the thin shirt he's wearing?

"You okay?" He asks, his breath ghosting over the shell of your ear as he talks.

"Oh yeah, thanks, yeah!" You babble, grabbing your drink and booking it out of there. In hindsight, probably not the best idea. He's going to think you're rude and a Klutz.

-

"One Taro Bubble Tea, no Toppings," You look up on instinct, too tuned into this voice to ignore it. Akaashi's at the front of the line, his back to you. If you book it right now, you could avoid him for another day. Just as you move to grab your bag, the door opens and another flood of customers enters the shop. You know you should have gone to the smaller one that's closer to College but you can't go back there before they've all forgotten your face.

Maybe, you think, Akaashi didn't even notice you. After all, you're a nobody to him. An embarrassing, forgetful, clumsy nobody.

"Here," a drink settles in front of you, the plastic sweating. "Your drink's empty."

You look up at only to see Akaashi smiling down at you, the curl of his lips making your stomach fizzle in a way you didn't know was possible.

"I-" You start but he puts another drink down and turns to the table next to you, taking their chair after a short conversation. "I'm Akaashi."

"I know," you squeak before you can stop yourself. If only you could sink into the floor and disappear.

"Oh," he looks a little taken aback. "I don't... I didn't catch your name."

A nobody. Like you said.

You mutter your name in embarrassment, your palms sweaty where they're holding onto pen and paper.

"I don't want to be too forward," he stops and you notice how he swallows, a little nervously. You might not have noticed if not for the fact that his neck is slim and pale and extremely nice to look at and your eyes are looking for something that's not his eyes. Maybe, you think, he's also nervous?

Not that he has a reason to be. He's Akaashi, after all, the hottest guy on Campus.

"I'm sorry I saw your sketches," he whispers, voice low, "If anyone saw my doodles I'd probably freak out too. But I wanted... I think..." He's blushing now, red dusting over his face as you stare, unable to look away. Is he-? No way, that can't be-

"Could we have a drink together?" He asks, pushing your bubble tea toward you, "And get to know each other?"

Before you can stop yourself your hand moves and you clink your cup against his as if toasting him.

His lips pull into a wide smile.

-

"One Taro Bubble Tea, no Toppings," Keiji sets the Cup in front of you with a smile, leaning down to press a kiss to your temple, "Don't stay up too late."

"Yes, Dad." You joke, squeaking when he pinches your hip.

"Bokuto? They had this Fruity Blast Special today. That okay for you?"

"Oh yeah, I want to fruity blast myself away!" Bokuto almost throws you off your chair in his haste to get his drink, awkwardly shuffling his hand through your hair when you both caught your balance.

"Uh, it's tasty," he dances back to his seat, sits down and leans forward, squinting to read the small text.

"Wait, what did you say again? What do I have to do here?"

You turn to look at Keiji, but he's sending you a wink and a smile before disappearing into the kitchen. You know what that means. He's got kitchen duty so you can explain Bokuto's Homework to well, Bokuto.

"Read the Question out loud, Bokuto," you ask him, "You already know it."

"Oh yeah, sure," he laughs easily, "Sorry."

"No need," you take a sip of your drink. "I'm sure Keiji's up for some Volleyball later when you feel restless again."

-

"One Taro Bubble Tea, no Toppings," you order, grinning from one ear to the other.

Keiji rolls his eyes at you. "This is not helping our savings account."

"What? I'm keeping you in business."

"By going bankrupt?"

You push your lip out in a pout and he leans forward to bite it.

"Harassment," you tease him, "I'll call the police."

"Who's going to serve you your Bubble Tea then, huh?"

You snort and he winks, turning around to prepare your drink.

You pull out your phone, take a picture from his behind - that uniform really is doing him a favor - and open your messenger app.

"Bokuto's coming over later."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, we're going over the stuff for next week's exam. By the way, I have this friend who'd be very cute with Bokuto-"

"Don't set him up," Keiji turns around, "You're going to regret it."

"Excuse me, Ji? She's really sweet, he'd like her."

"Oh, I'm sure you're right. But it's so much sweeter if he does it by himself, you know."

"Like you did?" You ask and if you hadn't already been in love before, his shy smile would have you swooning now.

"Fine," you huff, moving to grab your wallet, "I'm just going to invite her over for our next movie night, okay? We can invite some more friends, make it a small party, see where they take it themselves."

"Drink is on the house," Keiji insists, putting a hand on your wallet. "But you can buy some groceries on the way home. It's Asparagus season."

"Ew, healthy." You get on your tiptoes to kiss him. "So responsible. Makes me want to corrupt you."

"You already did," he jokes, "Why do you think I've started drinking Bubble Tea too?"

"What's your order?" You ask, already smiling.

"One Taro Bubble Tea, no Toppings."

@luvring

Haikyuu taglist: @lees-chaotic-brain

[6okuto]

ME

Oh No (I think I'm in Love) - Cove Holden x Reader

It's trying something new-Hour... this is for you, @6okuto

“You were a strange person in a strange place but, in that moment, you were exactly what I needed. Somebody I could talk to freely about what was happening and how it made me feel. And you listened to me, you stayed with me.”

-

“I really like that dress on you,” Cove calls out as you step out of the house, one hand on your straw hat to keep it from flying away.

You’ve already learned that he’ll say anything on his mind, his compliments always sincere. Warmth rises to your cheeks.

“Thanks,” you press through your teeth, unable to look at him for a second. When you do though, you regret it immediately. The summer sun makes his hair look like it’s been woven out of the rarest gemstones.

“You look good too,” you tell him, an understatement if you’ve ever heard one.

He blushes a furious red.

-

“Hey, look at that!” Cove has surfaced next to you, his bright hair clinging to his face in the weirdest shapes. His eyes are alight as he shows you a seashell, its perfection.

“I want you to have it,” he insists, pressing it into your hands with flushed cheeks. You know there’s more to it than just a gift.

You take it, swallowing down feelings you can’t yet name, tucking it under the hem of your bikini top. 

“I want to give you something too,” you tell him, escaping his words by dipping back in, searching the ground for something equally as beautiful.

It takes you half the day and you’re almost ready to give up when you stumble upon a polished white stone hiding in the hot sand. It’s shaped like a heart.

“Here,” you press it into Cove’s hands, heart beating. “This is for you.”

He cries like a baby at the sight.

-

Summer will always be your favorite season.

The sun burns down on you as you lay on a beach towel, pretending to read as you watch Cove. The feeling in your chest when he drops down way too close, his cold wet skin pressing into your warmth.

When you want nothing more but to draw him closer, see if his lips taste just as salty as yours.

And you can see in his eyes that he feels and thinks the same, yet you don’t act on it, only your hands folding around each other as if keeping a secret between them.

Getting smoothies with the others, smiling into your drink when Cove shimmies in place next to you, unable to keep still with all this happiness coursing through his body.

Him cllinging to you in the evening as you all sit around the bonfire, how his body goes turns soft against yours after a sip of beer, like all the tension bleeds from his limbs and into the sand.

Those days and months and years that you spend pining and in love, knowing the other feels the same but not yet ready to take that step and the one after and the one after that… 

There is no rush to it and maybe that’s the beauty of it.

Your first kiss tastes like the ocean and when you hide your face in his hair right after, all you can smell is the sea.

-

You can smell the summer coming, even five, ten, fifteen years later.

It tastes like the Ocean, like mint and citrus and something else, like kissing after sunset, like taking your sleeping bags down to the beach just to have an excuse to stay close for longer. 

There’s sand in your bed, coarse against your legs as you stretch. 

Cove’s left arm is slung around you, his nose buried in your hair. He doesn’t move even as you kiss the scar on his arm, so you stay still a little longer, letting him sleep.

Sometimes, in the milky white of early mornings, you still cannot believe that this is real.

But Cove is here, his heart beating warm against your back, his stomach grumbling softly even as he sleeps, justs further proof that he is the way he is… in love with you.

[6okuto]

AGH!!!!!

Want to love you - Akaashi x Reader

requested by @ur-local-simp , tagging @luvring because I'm legally obligated to do so when it's about Akaashi

The letters aren't even necessary. Akaashi lives down the street, if you want to talk to him you can waddle up to his front door, knock and ask for him to play with you.

But you like letters, the crinkling sound they make, how they smell - yes, you may have overused your mom's perfume, but this is important! - or the fact that you can keep them, a literal moment of a moment shared.

Your school doesn't offer a penpal program. But Akaashi's there to help you out. If you write him, he'll write you back.

You don't go to the same school, so there's always something to write about. Sometimes you even write them together, words hidden from view by a hand held up, until it's time to fold them up and hand them over.

Years pass. Some of your letters travel greater distances. A postcard from the beach, a letter from the countryside, a two-day trip to Korea with your parents.

Akaashi's not one to travel. At least not physically. He reads a lot. Some of his letters are memories of the stories he's moved through and what moved him about them. Some - those are read more often - are his own stories, his ideas brought to paper, brought to life.

He's good at it. He doesn't think so, though.

But this is life. Akaashi who overthinks, who doubts and tries to make sure that nothing ever fails and you, who just jumps ahead, believing and trusting that everything will turn out alright.

But there's still one thing where you cannot risk it. Love.

Because what if you don't love him enough?

-

Tomorrow you're going to leave for your six-month internship. It's your dream job and yet so far away. Korea is only a short flight away but you've never been separated from Akaashi for so long.

What if he forgets you? What if you forget him? What if all these nights of dreaming of being with him don't measure up to the real world?

And it's late, you should get the sleep you'll definitely need tomorrow, but you just can't fall asleep. Your friends have said goodbye, your things are packed, you can hear your parents snoring through the thin walls, but you're still up, twirling a pen in your hands as you think... and think... and start to write.

Dear Akaashi

Beloved

Keiji,

I love you. Have always loved you. And I don't know if I will, don't know if I should, but I'm pretty sure I'll always want to love you.

You're the best friend anyone could wish for. The love of your life should be the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and I can't remember the last time I wanted to spend a day apart.

I'm scared Keiji.

You stop, wipe away the tear that has fallen on the paper. Your hand shakes as you pen down the last few lines.

I'll be back. Braver. Different. Still in love with you.

Wait for me?

-x-

"Oh, Keiji, your friend was here." His mother greets him at the door. "She said she had to catch her flight, but she forgot to give this to you."

He's not surprised to be handed an envelope. Hundreds of those are up in his room, tied together by strings, only to be opened when he feels at his lowest.

He's almost determined to read it later when he's able to breathe a bit lighter, when the reality of your departure has sunken in.

But he can't wait, rips the envelope open with shaking fingers. Something in him urges him to do so even as his mother stands and watches, mumbling something about dinner being ready in a minute.

The paper sails to the floor as he understands and he almost keels over as he catches it before it lands.

"Everything okay?" His mother asks. Behind him there's a knock on the door, the unmistakable voice of his best friend. "Kaashi? Do you wanna come train with me for a bit?"

"I need to get to the airport," he bursts out, almost forgetting his jacket on the way out. "Bokuto, we need to go. What's the fastest way to the airport?"

-

He's too late.

He knows it. Even Bokuto knows it, though he still urges him on. They race to the Check-In Line and Bokuto jumps up and down trying to spot you in the crowd. He's almost ready to scream your name, even breathless as he is when Bokuto grabs his shoulder, pointing at the thick glass walls separating them from the other side.

"There!" He says and Akaashi nods. He can see it too.

His hands shake as he types your number, feeling more than just a little dumb he didn't think of it sooner.

You pick up after the first ring just like he thought you would. He can see you checking your phone after all.

"Akaashi?"

"Keiji," he chokes out. "You need to call me Keiji. Like in your later."

You make a small sound in the back of your throat and he chokes too.

"I can see you," he points out, feeling every bit the lunatic that he is. "Turn around. Can you see us waving?"

And they must be a spectacle, Bokuto in his team colors and he in his sweater vest combo, waving like maniacs until you notice them in the crowd.

"I want to love you too," he says when you wave back, seemingly unable to speak. "For the rest of our lives. I didn't think-"

"I'm coming back," you sob and he can see you walk against the stream of people. Your face disappears in the crowd.

"No," he argues. "No, you need to do this. You need to go. This is your dream job."

"But-"

"I love you," he breathes out and it's suddenly easy. Because this is you and this is him. There's nothing difficult about this.

"And we can make this work. It's just six months."

"But what if it doesn't work out?" You ask and he turns to look at his best friend.

"Bokuto," he asks, "What did you tell me during the Nationals of your third year? Do you remember?"

"Oh!" Bokuto beams and leans in to tell you: "It's not impossible. It's just hard."

"And with you," Akaashi adds, "It's easy."

[6okuto]

AAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meet Cute with Akaashi Keiji

@luvring is that what you had in mind?

"Hello and welcome to XYZ, how can I help you today?"

The boy - man! - in front of you blinks once, twice before he blushes, the high set of his cheekbones dotted in the most adorable shade of pink - and you know your shades.

"I-I need to exchange something."

"No problem at all. We offer a thirty-day return policy. If you follow me to the checkout, we can go over the procedure."

It's hard to focus on the proper words with him looking at you like that. You try to catch your reflection as you walk by a mirror, but you can't tell if something's out of place or not. What you do see, however, is what you already knew when he walked in. He's cute. Incredibly so.

Dark, tousled hair that looks like he just got out of bed - but in the sexy way, not like you - and square glasses that fit him in way you want to study. You should have studied art, you think yet again, that way you could have asked him to sit for you.

He doesn't seem upset that all you can offer him is some store credit, but his voice catches a little when he tells you his name - Akaashi Keiji. Maybe he's giving you a fake name - it wouldn't be the first time - though he's someone you wouldn't have expected it from. He looks like he's modeling for Calvin Klein on his free time, not like someone who has to take back a bright yellow shirt because the size wasn't quite right.

"Do you want to pick out something else today?" You ask, trying to prolong the conversation. He nods.

Fifteen minutes he's back at the till, nervous red spots covering his neck and face. He hands you a different shirts, the color a light blue with a dog on it. "Setter", it reads below the animal.

It's cute and you smile up at him.

"You like dogs?"

"Uh, yeah." He rubs his neck. "Do you... eh... do you give recommendations too?"

"Recommendations?"

"Forget it, it was a stupid question," he tries to wave it off but your interest is piqued.

"Well, I might not have the most exclusive taste, but I can certainly tell you where you find the good stuff in here. What do you need?"

He leaves half an hour later with a bag of shirts, one sillier than the other. Though you'd have preferred if he left with your number. But hey, you can't have everything, right?

-

"Hello and welcome to XYZ, how can I help you today?"

Akaashi smiles, blush settling on the high of his cheekbones. He's wearing the "Setter" Shirt today.

"Forgot something last time," he starts, voice low.

"Oh yeah? Can I help you find it?"

"Mhm," he nods, "It's your number."

[6okuto]

AKAASHI 😭😭😭😭😭🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷 my chest cavign in. thank u. Omfgm. this characterization is perfect 2 me i don't know how u do it..

!!!!!! IM HERE! asking for... akaashi..... I hope u are having an awesome day dira 🙆🏻‍♀️🫡

Our anxious King is nearing a breakdown.

Because on one hand, he's known he loves you for a long time. But telling you too soon could have spooked you. But now he could have waited too long, spent too much time practicing what he wanted to say. What if you don't believe him any longer?

Akaashi has known from the moment he met you that you were special. He's perceptive like that, a blessing and a curse. He's seen the widening of your eyes at his sight, how the breath caught in your throat. He wonders if you noticed the same things about him, how his heart stuttered to a halt at your sight, or how he couldn't get the words out right the first time he spoke.

Akaashi loves the way you laugh at him, about him, with him. He's always been more quiet, more anxious, more in his head than his peers, but you laugh at his joke, his dry comments, the fact that he calls your friend "Pain-in-the-ass-Kuroo-san".

You see him.

Akaashi didn't know he needed that until you did.