#this is really messy and unorganized
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
ive accepted everything thats happened, not completely but at least to some extent and more than before. i get it that i wont always be compatible with some people no mattwr how long and how close ive been with them. im mentally ill and not everyone will and has to understad that. i cant form long term relationships, i have a hard time with human interaction and socializing, i can be a genuinely horrible person.
i can never forgive myself for what ive done i get it its my fault. sometimes i feel like im an abuser. i never intended i never wanted for this to happen. i didnt manipulate or trick anyone for enjoyment or atleast didnt mean to and never realized, i dont know what ive done, i cant judge from my perspective. i regret it all of course and i wish it never had happened and i wish it will never happen again.
i was just hurting. i was hurting so much and sometimes, i still am. i cant understand myself but i tried to control myself. i didnt fully give in, i still had it in me to be better, to change for others so others wont get hurt anymore, i wanted to be better to get better. i didnt wanna be this mess of a human. i didnt want to be a bad person.
it just never sounded right for me however. i cant exactly change something thats out of my control. i cant really get better all by myself when my whole life ive been depending on others for my happiness and worth. its almost impossible to 'change' when you have a disorder. i only masked myself for others. i only repressed all my negative emotions and bottled them up to myself in fear of hurting my loved ones again. fearing what could happen next might be the last.
i was really dumb. i never realized how bad for myself i was doing, and eventually for everyone. my emotions spilled,i was hurtng so much it sometimes became phyisical pains. id feel jolts in my chest and my head was pounding every night from so much tears i cried. i couldnt bottle up anymore and eventually every negative emotion burst out, i hurt everyone i loved, i hurt the person i loved, ive never felt so ashamed of myself. it didnt feel like myself, thatwas the scary part. everything was so drowned out, all i could think of and all i cared about was hoping the person would understand me. that was all i ever wanted.
i know what couldve been done to prevent all this, but its too late now. everytime i would vent and explain myself it always comes out a mess, and everyone avoids me. theyre all scared of me snapping or getting mad. which icant blame them because it has happened before. but i never intended to be mad at them personally. my emotions are just raging all the time, especially in a bad mental state. but during the calmer days, i shouldve took those time to explain myself, my struggles, say everything i wanted, anything for them to understand. but honestly tho i dont exactly remember if ive done that before but didnt work so i just stopped. memory loss is a bitch i guess.
but still, i feel like i couldve just. tried again. and again. and again. i dont know rlly know if it would get me anywhere and i will never know. im starting to space out and forgetting what im supposed to be saying right now. sorry.
going back to my point, i understand now. im not meant for everyone. as much as it hurts, i have to accept this painful truth, that im disabled, and it prevents me from achieving things i want. and i think thats okay. im finally accepting it now. not all, but still. its something.
now i just wish all of me can accept it too. i wish the others can swallow the pill too. i really do feel bad, that theyre still hurting, that theyre still stuck in the past, thinking this was just another one of those days and can be easily fixed. i have to stop myself sometimes from messaging people again. i have to tell them that its done. its finally happened. our biggest fear has happened. theres nothing much to be afraid of anymore. (apart from the stuff like death, of course.) you can listen to music, you can backread messages, you can browse your files of screenshots and pictures. but you cant live that life anymore. and thats okay. they may forget about you, they may think youre a bad person, thats okay. at the end of the day, theyre moving on with their lives, they have their own people, youre going to have to move on with your life too. you can change. you can stay the same. you can just be yourself. whatever you want. its all gonna be okay. no one can tell you who you are or who you are supposed to be.
im happy to still have a few friends, even if we dont get to talk much, or i never talk about my problems to them anymore, its enough that theyre comfortable with me.
im very glad for my best friend online. my friend for the longest time, even before anyone else, that stayed with me. im glad i stayed with him too. we've changed so much, we've moved on from a hundred fandoms. it's such a pleasure to experience you.
and words cannot describe how much i love and appreciate my best friend. i genuinely cant put it to words. thank you so much for being there for me. for still being with me even after the friend group had dissolved. i want to talk to you about my cringe problems and i want you to scream yours too. id love to listen to more music with you. watch more shows with you. maybe even talk to more people with you. i want to grow up with you, i want to experience life with you by my side.
i think thats all i have to say for now. this kinda got a little carried away frm my original idea lol. cya
#diary#axo yaps#rant#vent#personal#i tried my best to write but im not aiming for perfection just letting my feelings out#this is really messy and unorganized#bpd#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#system vent#system rant#did system#really long ass rant#killing myself just kidding haha lol#also this is also kinda a message to myself
1 note
·
View note
Text
Some balls are held for charity and some for fancy dress, but when they're held for pleasure they're the balls that I like best...
If you didn't get an invitation to the other ball then you can come party with us! It's sure to be a fun time!
Event info: The event starts Dec. 23 and you have until Christmas night to have your muses at the ball doing ball stuff...that's...that's about it :U
Themes include:
Somebody spiked the punch and was NOT sneaky about it GOD DAMN THIS TASTE LIKE PURE VODKA-
Eat some whorederves! You know Adam's fatass has a DECADENT spread of food! (Blitzo probably added that last part...probably)
Getcha ass off tha wall with ya two left feet, it's real easy just follow the beat! No seriously. We're not doin that pussy shy wallflower shit THIS IS A PARTY BALL
Dress to the nines! The only difference between a party and a ball is just being fancy as fuck right?? LOOK NICE!!
Hook up! Find some fine thing to get lucky with, even if it's in the venue's nasty-ass bathroom stall! Ending the night with a kiss is cool and all but ending the night with sex is so much better
Alright that's it! Overall just HAVE FUN. This is not meant to rival Bee's Ball, it's just a chance for others to dress up and have a good time too! (That being said Bee's is gonna be a helluva lot better...uh...no pun intended :U). And remember to use the tag #dickmaster's big ball(s) so we can all keep up with everything!
#decided to redo this for two reasons#it was really messy and unorganized#and the mature rating fucked up sharing it#please share this one instead!#THANK!!#dickmaster's big ball(s)
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
ive said it before and i'll say it again but damn. identity based ideology when it comes to feminism really is the downfall for so many people bc its gotten to a point now where we have successfully lost the plot & have gone off the tracks. the moment you start analyzing your actions through the lens of "can a feminist do this" or "is [x] a feminist action" and you tie your identity to being a feminist, you start to lose your grasp on what the hell you're actually fighting for bc why are you so confident telling people that you think its okay for women to be frail, fragile and stupid and that it should be okay for women to make the choice to stay at home and be a homemaker as if that isn't the fucking norm and hasn't been the norm for literal centuries. i'm so tired and embarrassed of what this has all become cause we are going so backwards.
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
Anything we can do to help?
You’re so sweet for asking. I’m just dealing with circumstances out of my control and I wish I knew what could help.
I desperately want to get back to making my art and sharing it so maybe that’s something? If I can tag my mutuals and feel connected again that would help.
I really miss my community on here 😔
#it’s finding the time and energy to keep the community going that really is difficult#my life is so unorganized and messy right now and now it’s the holidays???#I just can’t
1 note
·
View note
Text
Eyeless Jack General Headcannons
Summary: Basic, SFW, and NSFW head-cannons. My personal thoughts, feelings, and opinions about Jack as a character.
TW: NSFW below the cut, minors dni! Above the cut is sfw! Mentions of gore
Words: 2.3k
A/N: NSFW is reader with female anatomy.
Basic:
- The definition of nonchalant, doesn’t convey his emotions very well at all so he lets his actions do the talking.
- Even though he may put on a front of being calculated and detailed, everything he does is purely instinctual or off the top of his head. He’s never made great plans or thought further on a problem than he had to, relying solely on time or for everything to work itself out. Ben calls it ‘thuggin it out’. He may seem all cool, calm, and collected- but really, he just doesn’t care.
- Drives a brown 1989 Ford F-250. Found it discarded on some old hunting grounds and spent the next 3 years learning about truck parts just to fix it up. It’s nothing pretty and the A/C doesn’t work half the time, but that doesn't stop the proxies from either stealing it for missions or Jeff cruising it to gas stations.
- Loves his alone time. If ‘Do Not Disturb’ was a living being.
- Incredible sense of smell, a blessing and a curse.
- Even though he doesn’t really feel emotionally tied to anyone or reliant on anyone's attention, he would never pass up a good conversation with Jeff or Toby. Finds their problems interesting (and funny).
- Even though he doesn’t have any eyes, he can still see. How? Who even knows? The demon would describe it as more of a viewing like he can detail everything that’s happening, but he can’t physically see it. Cryptic stuff even he’s too dumb to figure out.
- Despite everything, probably the most upkeep and clean member of the mansion. While eating organs and harvesting them can be messy, he doesn’t like the grime and prefers to clean off as soon as he can. The same goes for his clothes and room/office. Surprisingly tidy.
- Not as smart as he likes to present himself. Sure, he’s a medical student with more experience than anyone in a 50-mile radius, but that doesn’t mean he knows what he’s doing all of the time. Whenever the proxies roll in with serious injuries, the demon shoots them full of antibiotics, cauterizes the wound, and prays it doesn’t get worse from there. He knows what he’s doing, but that doesn’t mean he knows it’ll work 100% of the time.
- A silent panicker. Will absolutely tear his brain to shreds worrying or fighting with himself, but keep a stone look on his face the entire time. Gauging his emotions is like conversing with a brick wall.
- Dry humor. Absolutely will answer your long, emotional paragraph with a thumbs-up emoji.
- In some sick way, slightly prefers the life he’s living now. It may be grotesque and depressing, but his knowledge of the medical field and human bodies is infinitely more broad than it would’ve been. He quite enjoys the freedom he has now.
- Never happier than when winter is fizzling out and the first signs of spring show up. The warmth, the colors, the vibrancy coming back. He can’t get enough of it. Absolutely will get lost just studying the snow melting from the new flower beds.
- Locked in the basement of the mansion at all times. Only comes out to eat or on the rare occasion he’s assigned a mission. The only place he truly feels comfortable.
- Will get oddly emotional when light reflects on the lake just right or the fog settles on the ridge just perfectly. You’d never guess, but he’s a big poetic bum.
- Purrs. Like a cat. Ears flick around like one too.
- With music, he’s a big lyric listener. The song could sound absolutely terrible, but as long as he resonates with the words, will enjoy it anyway.
- Unorganized organization freak. Everything has a place, even if you don’t know where that place is.
- Seriously underestimates just how overtowering he is. He’s nowhere near Slender’s height, but the demon easily doubles in the average human’s vertical. When he was human he was taller, but never like this. He’s still getting used to it.
- Lanky but quick. Limbs and features are longer, but the muscle index makes up for it. He’s seriously fit, but everything is evenly distributed. Serious muscle definition in his arms and back, though. What he lacks in strength, he makes up in speed and agility.
- Enjoys Radiohead, Cigarettes After Sex, Paramore, and Three Days Grace. Will also never admit it, but really enjoy the Twilight soundtracks.
Dating Him/SFW:
“My pet…” “Little thing…” “Pretty thing…”
- Gift-giving love language. Loves to make you things unexpectedly and watch the surprise on your face. Steals jewelry or clothing from his victims to gift to you.
- It takes a lot for the demon to even consider you a friend let alone a potential love interest. But you best believe once he’s decided he wants you, that’s it. You take precedent, anything and everything else in his life takes a step back and you become the focal point. Heaven help if you ever change your mind about him.
- “My pretty thing… my lovely little pet… all mine…”
- Physically can not get enough of your smell. Whether it be sweet or sour, whatever emotion you dwell in, this demon will bury his nose into the crook of your neck and waste away there. It’s intoxicating to him, like an emotional tie he’s bound to.
- Like to study you. Your movements, your voice, the way you react to certain stimuli. Everything about you and your personality just intrigues him to no end.
- Possessive in the, ‘If they look at you, I’ll kill them’ way, but also is sure enough in himself and you to know he doesn’t need to go that far. Would rather lock you away for only him to see, but respects you too much.
- Has a deep-rooted fear of hurting you, so any fight or disagreement turns him distant. He’ll come back eventually, but that doesn’t mean he’ll be comfortable enough to get all touchy-feely again just yet.
- A lot like Edward from Twilight, he wants to taste you the most. It’s seriously a bad habit to nip at your skin or get lost in your scent because he knows how easy it would be just to take a chunk out of you. Has to be very aware and cautious of himself.
- Even though it took a long time for him to be comfortable enough to take his mask off around you, he still gets wildly conscious about it whenever you’re around. Loves nothing more than when you’re caressing his face or kissing his skin because he knows it's genuine.
- For a cannibal, he’s an insanely good cook. Will only cook for you, however. He says it's out of love, but really he knows deep down he wants to control what you eat so you have good organ health. You best believe he’ll have you hitting those core diet needs.
- Doesn’t sleep often, but when he does it's for long periods. The problem is, he likes to completely swallow you with his body and wrap around you, keeping you there until he eventually wakes up. Really enjoys the body heat you provide. Lowkey a small spoon.
- Slouches to your height.
- His favorite time is after a long day, curling up in a big chair with a book and you in his lap. You cocoon in his arms as he leans back, a blanket draped over the two of you. He’s naturally cold-blooded so he would stay there forever if he could.
- “You smell so good, pet… So good…”
- Talks in short, mumbled sentences. The mansion residents started using you as a translator because he would only say more than 3 words at a time around you.
- Absolutely never cared about how he looked before you. You taught him decent clothing styles and now he rocks the ‘dark academia/soft boy’ aesthetic like a champ.
- Made you your own special corner in his lab just because he couldn’t deal with having to be away while working.
- An intense kisser. It’s never soft pecks but full-on mouth-consuming makeouts. He’s a hungry guy who can only be satisfied if he feels like he’s swallowed enough of your tongue and lips with his own. Your lips and chin are absolutely soaked with slobber afterward.
- Firm believer in carrying you. No matter where or how far, he likes to bridal-style haul you around or have you latch onto his back.
- “I could eat you up. Just kidding… yeah…”
- Goes ridiculously insane when he can see the chubbiness on your thighs or stomach. You sitting down or lying out, you best believe he is fighting every demon internally not to take a massive bite on your skin.
Dating Him/NSFW:
- Again, skin. No better than a man during the dark times when you flash just a little too much leg or abdomen. He’s on you in seconds and clawing your clothes off to see more.
- You will never leave an encounter without cum dripping out of you. Refuses to get off anywhere else but deep inside of one of your holes. Call it a breeding kink but his animalistic tendencies just won’t let him pull out. Grunting and panting against your nape as he slams inside as far as he can to keep you from squirming away
- “You can take it, I know you can… Need you full of me… All of me…”
- A greedy kisser. Grabbing your jaw and fucking his tongues into the warm wetness of your mouth, teasing to just push them further past the tightness of your throat. Even when you squirm and gag, he just pushes them deeper, testing your resolve.
- You reach your breaking point longggg before he does. A couple of orgasms deep and he hasn’t even put his cock in yet, just milking your body for all it’s worth. It may be because he has a high sex drive, but it’s mainly because he gets off best when you’re pliable and numb to his touch. It’s a domination thing.
- A pussy worshiper. Much like his adoration for any organ, he really appreciates all of his knowledge of the female anatomy and how good he is at eating you out. If he can, or if you can take it, he’ll press all three of his tongues deep inside and spread your plush walls to his content. Likes to swap between focusing on your cunt and your clit, but mainly both at once.
- Bite marks galore. Has to be careful with how much blood he draws, but you’ll never get by without at least one good bite mark on your shoulder. Likes to possessively mark you all over just for others to see. Same feeling with claw marks.
- There’s some cognitive switch in his brain that flips when he gets to a certain point of desperation, like after not seeing you for a long period or after a particularly difficult day. It’s like a starved creature hungry and desperate for anything. He’ll ravage your body and mind, fucking you both to pure exhaustion or until he physically can’t cum anymore.
- On that note, ruts. They’re seasonal, usually coming around the first two weeks of spring and fall. He can’t control when they show up, but once started, they usually last 3 to 4 days, each day getting less intense. Since it’s such an animalistic ordeal, he loses all restraint or moral compass on how to treat you. Bites, blood, wounds, and injury are all possible. They’re not intentional, but he physically cannot control his mental or physical, blinded completely by lust. Thank god his sperm isn’t compatible with human anatomy, because that’s the only place he’ll cum.
- “I’m sorry- sorry, pet- Just one more time- just one more- Fuck- I promise-”
- Both ankles wrapped in one claw. Two claws overlapping around your waist. Yeah…
- Starts slow, so achingly slow you want to rut your hips and get him deeper. He likes the feeling of entering you, of spreading your plush cunt around his cock and finding its home deep inside. He’ll get faster eventually, but for now, he just wants to drink up the sights and smells of your desperation. That first gasp gets him every time.
- Mating press or nothing else. If you want to try something new, he’ll happily oblige, but the only way he’s truly happy is if your legs are pushed back to your shoulders and his hips are slamming down into yours. He’ll take the occasional doggy style, but only if his teeth are latched on to the back of your neck and holding you docile.
- Could watch your face come undone all day. Loves to see your eyes roll when you come, or the sweat and tears dripping off your cheeks. The dark flush of your skin gets him so hungry he has to physically restrain himself.
- “You’re so gorgeous- so fuckin’ pretty- Ah- Look at me. C’mon, don’t get shy now…”
- One time, after a particularly messy organ harvest, he couldn’t wait to get to you. He was so livid, body practically shaking with excitement when he snuck into your room that he didn’t even have time to clean himself off. Blood (not yours) stained your sheets and skin, messy claws dragging across your stomach and chest to coat you in dark red, his tongues quick to shoot out and lap at the stuff. You, covered in blood and his mess, sent him spinning. That was the fastest he’s ever came.
- Growling, panting, snarling, huffing, chittering, teeth gnashing, LOUD ASF
- Has a size thing. Comparing your hand to his makes him so horny and eager to just pick you up and fuck you. Admires how small and easy you are to just throw around like a doll.
- Absolutely has had sick fantasies of fucking your organs like a fleshlight. He’d never tell you, but the thought of cutting a slit in your abdomen to push his cock into the tangle of intestines and muscles makes him drool. He can almost imagine how warm it would be.
- Gets a high when you squirt. Feels accomplished to be covered in your juices and having you completely ruined for anyone but him.
- “You can take it for me, yeah? Go ahead and make a mess… It’s alright…”
Thanks for reading!
Comments and reblogs are appreciated! 𐚁₊⊹
#smut#creepypasta#creepypasta fanfic#creepypasta smut#eyeless jack creepypasta#creepypasta fandom#creepypasta headcanon#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta x male reader#creepypasta x y/n#creepypasta x female reader#creepypasta x you#creepypasta eyeless jack#creepypasta headcanons#eyeless jack x y/n#eyeless jack x female reader#eyeless jack x male reader#eyeless jack x you#eyeless jack smut#eyeless jack x reader#eyeless jack#headcannons#headcanon#slenderverse#jeff the killer#ticci toby#slenderman#laughing jack#jane the killer#slender proxy
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Car video with Matt Sturniolo - Fluff! (request)
Matt Sturniolo x reader!
Word count: 1.1K
Warnings: swearing, a little kissing
A/N: This one got away from me and I had to reign it back in because it's not supposed to be smutty lmaooo But here it is!
***
It’s close to midnight as Matt parks the van in a random spot at the favorite lot. The two of you got fries, chicken nuggets with sweet n’ sour sauce (mostly for him), and a large milkshake to share. You plan to do a car video to post on his individual channel.
You have no idea what you were going to talk about. Matt had fans submit their own questions for you two to answer.
After setting up the camera, which included Matt going out to check it, you start recording and picking at the food.
Matt starts the video off. "Hey everyone, (y/n) and I are here. Uhm... basically we're going to do our own car video without Nick and Chris. We don't really have a topic, but you guys submitted questions on instagram. Babe, have anything to start us off?"
Now, he looks at you as you’re mid fry. You chew quickly as possible, wiping your hands on a napkin, as he giggles under his breath.
"Thanks for the warning," you remark with a laugh. "Uhm, not really... I'm just here for the vibes."
"For the vibes?" Matt crooks a brow and looks you up and down. Then he takes a nugget and dips in the sauce.
You roll your eyes. "Don't yuck my yum."
Matt stuffs the nugget in his mouth. "Okay, Chris."
All you do is flip him off and take a sip of the milkshake.
"Just ask the questions."
"Okay, okay." He laughs as he readjusts in his seat after grabbing his phone. It's quiet for a couple minutes while he gathers them. "Oh, let's start with this one. What's our favorite thing about each other?"
"Well-"
"Oh, quick disclaimer, sorry babe." Matt shoots you a nervous smile. "I will edit screenshots of the questions onto the screen so you can see who they're from. And uh.. if you'd like to get featured in videos, follow us on instagram to see the next time I ask for questions. I'll put the @s on the screen and in the description below."
You slowly chew on your straw after taking another sip, patiently waiting for him to be done. It's already been fifteen minutes and you are almost positive Matt forgot the extra battery pack. Granted, you could've asked Nick where it was and brought it; too late.
"Okay, what were you going to say?" Matt prompts.
You think about making another snarky remark in how it'd been so long since he asked the question that you don't remember it.
Tapping the straw on your pursed lips, you pretend to think. "Well... I have many favorite things so it's an unfair question."
Matt lightly rolls his eyes. "Look, I know you love everything about me, but what's your favorite?"
"Oh, everything?" You laugh. "You think so highly of yourself, don't you, Matty B? Let's go the different route then." You look directly into the camera. "Guys, this kid will not accept anything sort of unorganized or clean. Not for more than five minutes if he can help it."
Matt's jaw drops and he snatches the cup out of your hand. "Your least favorite thing is how organized I am?"
"Yeah, live a little! You won't die if there's like a wrapper or two on your desk, or if the toothbrush isn't in the holder."
"You are an absolute monster, (y/n)!" Matt cracks. He points between you and the camera. "Don't believe a single word she says. She leaves more than a wrapper or two, and her skincare is all over my bathroom counter after she does her morning routine."
You shrug. "I don't see a problem with that, and I don't think the fans will either."
"Guys, leave a comment if you're more like me or (y/n)." He barely scoffs under his breath, eating another fry. "You're lucky you have other amazing qualities that I overlook the messiness."
Now, you couldn't help blushing. “Such as?”
Matt shakes his head, a smile spreading on his lips. “You’re understanding about a lot going on, you know, like the channels, life, and stuff. So it’s easy to talk to you about it, like if I’m ever anxious or something.”
“Top fucking notch quality right there,” you say. “Anything else? I love the praise.”
“I thought this was reserved for in private, babe.”
Your eyes go wide and you almost spit out the fry you just put in your mouth. “Matthew! Stop!”
Matt giggles under his breath. “Sorry. Uhm… You can rock a men’s polo and make the best playlists for me… Obviously you have such a vibrant personality.”
“That I do.” You nod in agreement. You reach out to brush back some of his hair, causing some pinkness to rouge on his cheeks. “I love how cautious you are about decisions, keeps me from letting impulsive thoughts win.”
“Which is a lot,” he shoots a look at the camera.
You can only roll your eyes in response. “Anyway… You’re the most caring person I know that will drop anything to help someone you love. The only time you won’t ask a lot of questions… Oh! You’re actually the best big spoon ever.”
He bites his bottom lip, failing to hold back a cheesy grin. “Really, babe?”
“Absolutely.”
You close the space between you, and Matt instinctively rests his hand in the crook of your neck. You crawl over the center console onto his lap when you realize it wouldn’t be just a few kisses.
Time gets away and you sort of forget that you are filming. Your hands roam each other’s bodies over and under clothes. Both of you leave butterfly kisses on the other’s neck.
The lights in the van suddenly dim away.
“Shit. Fuck,” Matt says, his lips pink from yours and hair tousled more than usual. “I think the camera died.”
“And we technically only answered one question.” You bite your lip with a laugh.
He laughs with you, running a hand through his hair. He lays back and looks you in the eyes. “I should’ve known not to start with that question.”
“Should we try doing this again on a different night?”
Matt sighs heavily. “Probably… It would suck to scrap all the footage though.”
A smirk rises on your lips as you move back to the passenger seat. “You want to include clips of us making out?”
“Obviously no.” He rolls his eyes.
“Let’s just keep going then. Use my phone to record.”
Matt kisses the crook of your neck. “You’re the best, babe.”
You shoot him a look. “Be careful, Matthew.”
“Sorry, sorry.” He throws his hands up in defense. (He really wasn’t that sorry.)
*You can request others from this list or send me new ones!*
#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo request#fluff#request#car video#car video with matt
912 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Hey."
A husky voice spoke right beside your ear, startling you. You felt arms wrap around your waist from behind, warmth pressing against your neck.
"Huh–" You turned your head around, caught off guard. But your shoulders relaxed the moment you realized it was him. "Oh hi, it's you."
Levi rested his head on your shoulder, spreading his legs so they went around where you were sitting, practically slumping on you
"Mhm, were you hoping it was someone else?" Levi mumbled sleepily, snuggling deeper, pressing a soft kiss into the skin before burying his face into the crook of your neck.
"Never." You smiled.
You were sitting on the bed of the spare bedroom, papers and books spread across you. You work best in bed. But Levi was so tired tonight, he had went to bed early, and you hadn't the heart to disrupt his sleep. Which is why you had to seek refuge in the guest bedroom instead.
"You made a mess." He huffed, noticing the absolute chaos of papers and books you have made in the bed.
"We don't have much guests either way. This room is practically going to waste. But fine," You reassure him. "I'll clean up later, I swear."
"You always say that. Weeks will pass, the mess will stay the same." He mutters.
"Alright, you neat-freak, did you wake up just to take a nick at how unorganized I am?" You raise a brow, shooting a glance sideways, pretending to be annoyed. You failed to bite back the smile tugging on your lips though."You should be asleep."
"Shouldn't you too?" He pouted. "I can't sleep if you're not there."
"I know," You raised your hand, ruffling his hair. It was already messy, indicating he'd been tossing and turning in the bed for a while now. "I just really need to finish this article, alright? Go to bed, I'll be there."
"Is your work more important than me?" His head turned sideways, the silver of his eyes glinting through sleep-heavy lids. He almost looked like a pouty kid, needy for attention. You turned your head to press your forehead against his, pressing against the warmth of his body. He was always so warm.
"Levi, I promise. Just 5 minutes."
"I gave you 2 hours." He frowned.
"5 more minutes. Finishing touches."
"In the morning. Come to bed."
"Just 5 minutes!" You laughed when he shook his head, his hair tingling your neck.
"5 seconds."
"Levi."
"5." He began counting.
You rolled your eyes, amused. "No way, you're doing that."
"4."
"I'm serious."
"3."
"Two minutes?"
"2."
You squirmed against his hold, struggling to loosen his grip. You tugged forward, but you couldn't even budge.
Curse Levi and his Ackerman strength.
"1."
"Okay, I'm serious, let me g–"
You didn't even get a second before you were hoisted up in the air, thrown over his shoulder. A surprised squeal escaped you but the next thing you know you were in your bedroom. He dropped you on it, bed creaking underneath the sudden weight. Then he slid in, pulling the covers and tucking the both of you under it, an arm wrapping around you so you were pressed firmly against his chest and very unable to move.
"You work too hard for your own good." He mumbled, voice already raspy from the exhaustion clouding over him.
"Says the workaholic and the insomniac." You protest.
"You talk a lot, don't you?" He sighed softly. "Go to sleep. If you don't get enough rest you get cranky in the morning."
"I suffer from cranky Levi everyday. You should get a taste." You grinned.
"I'm not cranky."
"No. You're like a moody teenager on her period."
"Shut up." He tugged your ear, a playful gesture to show that he was annoyed. But the slightest quirk of his mouth didn't escape your eyes, as small as it was. "Need my sleep, love. Can't have that if you're not here."
"Yeah?" You exhaled, sleep caressing your eyes as well. But the nickname still made you grin. Hearing words of endearment from Levi was such a rare thing, you felt giddy whenever he addressed you like that. It's not that he doesn't love you, it's just he's gets too flustered and embarrassed whenever the words slip out, which just makes the moments all the more special.
Like now, how he screwed up his face the instant he realized.
"No." He said in a warning tone.
Too late. You grinned. "Call me darling."
"No."
"Sweetheart?"
"No."
"Honeypie?"
"Absolutely not."
"Sweat pea?"
"What the fuck." He groaned. "I swear you get worse every day."
"I'm serious. Why not?"
"Because they're ridiculous."
"Okay. How about Fuzzball?"
"What the hell is that even supposed to mean?"
"Pumpkin?"
"Why, just why?"
You reached up, bringing your mouth closer to his ears. "Mommy?" You whispered.
He jolted. "I will smack you with this pillow." He says flatly, keeping his face expressionless. "Go to sleep before I knock you out myself."
You nodded, pressing the back of your hand to stifle your laugher, your shoulders shaking. But you decided that was quite enough for Levi. At least for one night.
"Roger." You sighed, throwing an arm over him. "Goodnight, babe."
"Brat." He grumbled, turning his head and hiding his face in the pillow.
Not before you caught the flush on his face though.
@sad-darksoul
#aot#captain levi#snk#levi ackerman#levi heichou#aot fandom#aot fanfiction#snk fanfiction#levi thoughts#levi fluff#levi attack on titan#levi ackerman fluff#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman x you#levi x you#levi x reader#Levi#levi x y/n
3K notes
·
View notes
Note
I've been wanting to do a Thank You/Appreciation post for you because of how much you, ur art and tutorials, helped me grow while continuing to inspire me personally. Since you're gonna be over LMK I guess it's now or never to appreciate your lmk art, haha.
Your Macaque design is GORGEOUS.
It was love at first sight with him being my fave char. Altho I am trying to find my own style as well.
Overtime, ur anatomy tutorials helped; especially with trying to mix n' blend cartoonish shapes with stylized-realistic elements.
Idk why I never have the energy to 100% complete my drawings sjhsjahshhshsj
I've done other sketches but these are the most presentable by far!!
That's all, thank you.
Hey Lisey! I know you're on a hiatus of sorts with LMK, but have you heard of the new season 5 trailer?
Yes, I've heard and seen. I don't really care for the new season, especially since the animation got handed off to a new studio. I'll watch it with my friends who are still involved with the fandom, and I'm pretty sure that'll be it. I don't have any interest in posting about it anymore, thanks.
#i don't post so pls forgive me for how messy and unorganized this is#im actually also really into COTL now too bcz of ur fanart HAJAHHSHSHSHSH
76 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Why do you draw, Fujino?" This is absolutely my favorite film of the year, I'm in awe. I love Tatsuki Fujimoto's work so I was very excited when I heard Look Back was getting it's own movie. But Look Back is already a perfect story in manga form so I didn't think it could be improved. That was until director Kyotaka Oshiyama adapted it into this film. I watched it four times, FOUR TIMES in theatres because I was just so blown away the first time I watched it. I had written down some notes to capture my initial thoughts and feelings about the movie but it's really messy and unorganized so you'd have to ask me in person on what I thought about the film (and I WILL talk your ear off!). But all I can say is, this movie is amazing and if you're an artist whose struggled in their art journey and felt alone this movie, Look Back, is for you!
#Look Back#Look Back movie#Fujimoto Look Back#Tatsuki Fujimoto#Ayumu Fujino#Kyomoto#Kyomoto Look Back#Fujino Look Back#Kiyotaka Oshiyama#Tatsuki Fujimoto Look Back#anime
359 notes
·
View notes
Text
heads up . . ! not proofread.. 0.7k wrds!
you should be used to these midnight break-ins of shidou by now. he was your boyfriend after all and you didn't really tell him that he wasn't allowed to do it, you just gave him a reminder to text you if he were to do so. but him texting you meant giving you a heads up at least an hour before he was going to break in! though this attitude of your lover was something you were already familiar with..
now here he was, knocking on your bedroom window ever so quietly as to not wake up anyone else inside the house. you had just read the message he sent you three minutes ago and now he was already here, you knew he was fast in terms of running but to have walked that long from his place to yours in that small amount of time and without sweating seemed absolutely impossible??
"heyyyy baby!", shidou said in a low yet excited tone. he gives you a quick peck on the lip before going inside your bedroom. you looked obviously annoyed and he doesn't know why, he did give you a message before climbing up to the second floor of the house... "why'd you come here in such a short notice? you could've at least given me a bit of time to clean up and look good, you know!" you scold him to which he laughs and responds by giving you another quick peck on your forehead. "what were you doing here anyways? yer room's so messy..", he asks to which you just scoff and go back to your laptop, working on finishing this project of yours that was supposed to be due during christmas break, who even gives projects during christmas anyway??
it didn't even reach his usual three minute mark of bothering you before he pulled you out of your chair to a tight embrace on your bed, he seemed much more needy than last time but who you were to worry about that now? you were already working on something and here was your big baby of a boyfriend holding you in his arms as if it was a lifeline of his. "shidou! i'm literally working on the same project that i was doing when you barged here the last few times this week!", you remind him as you try to get off of him but really, your strength couldn't compare to his so it was useless. "okay okay, but do you reaaally need to be working on that now? ya could just do it the second i leave which would be in another hour or so!"
this was like a regular thing for him now, to give you a message five minutes before knocking on your window, then pulling you aside whatever you were working on after waiting at least three minutes, and then you'll just stay in his embrace the whole time he was there. that's how frequently these midnight break-ins occurred, you had memorized how long shidou took to send you a chat and to climb up to your bedroom. "how'd you even get here so quickly anyways.. it's at least a few kilometers from here to yours and you sent that message 3 minutes before already knocking at my window?" you ask, "well, i was already in front of your house when i sent it, just waited a bit before getting up here" he replied before giving you a kiss on your forehead. and before you knew it, you were already fast asleep on his chest, your project being long forgotten once again. even if shidou really wanted to hold you in his arms for as long as the night lasted, he was bound to be caught by your parents if he did. so once he knew that you were deep in your slumber, he laid you on your bed and put a blanket on top of you. but before he left, he needed to do one last thing.
when you woke up, you could've swore your bedroom did not look this.. clean? or unorganized? it looked like your boyfriend did a semi-good job of tidying it up, it still looked better than what it originally looked last night. you check your phone before seeing a message sent of 2:04 am — "heh.. cleaned ur room because im such a good boyfriend arent i??? make sure to gimme a kiss latr as a thank you gift ;)"
©🇯🇮🇫🇱🇴🇺🇱🇪🇹🇹🇪, do not steal, translate, or repost any of my writings anywhere else. ౨ৎ
#give me a man who'll distract me from my school life pls i beg...#writers block is so annoying because this is the only thing i could write and finish recently :(((#jinxed it up ! 𓆩♡𓆪#blue lock#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#bllk#blue lock x male reader#bllk fluff#shidou#shidou ryusei#shidou x reader#shidou ryusei x reader
204 notes
·
View notes
Text
✩ ₊˚.🎧⋆☾⋆✧₊ ⊹ nice surprise,, pt.2
paige bueckers x fem!reader
part one
that night after the live had to be one of the best nights of your life.
she wasn’t lying about coming over, less than twenty minutes had passed before she was knocking on your door. you quickly opened it, shocked she was there but even more shocked by the fact that this was all real.
“hey, it’s nice to meet you.” she smiled down at you so sweetly, tucking her loose hair behind her ear and leaning against your doorway. you noticed she changed out of her pajamas, opting for grey sweatpants instead and a different sweater.
“it’s nice to meet you too, you can um- you can come in.. let me just-“ you’re kicking your roommate’s shoes against the wall so she doesn’t trip on them, slightly distressed because is the dorm always this messy?
once you’re done you let her in, closing the door gently behind her. she’s immediately hit with a scent so different from what she’s used to, but she really likes it. she looks at you and decides that it matches your energy. that’s another thing; being in your space, your home, makes her feel like she knows you on some personal level. like in a way she’s meant to be here.
“m’sorry if it’s messy, sunday’s are cleaning days i swear.”
“no it’s alright, it’s nice. really cozy. i like it.”
deep down you’re sighing in relief, but deep down you’re also deathly nervous. you’ve never met someone like this, what do you even do?
“can i get a water?”
she sees your eyes shoot wide, scurrying into the kitchen in search of a water bottle. you can’t see her but she’s got a stupidly smug grin on her face, amused by how jittery you are. she wants to reach out and grab your hand, maybe pull you closer to her, but she remembers she only met you a few hours ago.
“here y’go!” you’re smiling with pride, pushing the glass of water (topped with ice) in her direction. she thinks you’re the most beautiful person she’s ever got the pleasure of looking at before, completely aware of the effect you have on her. you on the other hand, are completely oblivious.
all of the sudden, paige has the thought that she doesn’t really care how long she’s known you for. what does matter is that she knows she wants to hold you, at least be a little closer. so she’s wrapping her fingers around yours and tugging you towards her.
butterflies aren’t just fluttering in your stomach, you think they’re eating you alive. her hand is warm and isn’t far away from engulfing yours, but you like this intimacy. it’s soft and sweet and pure, both just enjoying the new company.
“wanna take you out somewhere, is that ok?” her hands barely found their way under your sweater, thumbs circling your bare hips. her eye contact is persistent but she’s really just looking for any hesitation from you; she doesn’t want you to be uncomfortable at all.
you’re glancing back at the clock: 11:33 p.m. you decide in that moment you’d let her take you anywhere, whenever she wanted. she’s got you wrapped around her finger, completely at her mercy. somehow knowing this doesn’t bother you, not even a little bit.
“yeah, s’okay.” your tone lets her know it’s more than okay, but that’s an unspoken understanding between the two of you.
paige is looking at you, the reality of your outfit setting in. she feels a tinge of jealousy course through her at the thought of you being a caitlin clark fan, wearing iowa’s team logo instead of hers.
“gotta take this off though, it’d ruin my reputation.” she’s got a hold on the sweater, tugging on it as you walk towards what she assumes is your room.
she was right, walking into your space. bed messily made, soft lights adorning your bedside table, an unorganized desk.. she thinks it’s fitting for you. just from what she’s experienced from you so far, she feels like she’s got a good read on you.
“i thought iowa was cool” you’re using air quotes and throwing her words back at her. you’re funny, you really are, already knowing how to push her buttons.
“yeah? but nothing beats uconn.”
you’re laughing and, was that a snort? she’s not entirely sure, but it doesn’t really matter when you’re head is thrown back and you’re looking at her like that. she jokingly takes offense, helping you lift the sweater away from your body and throwing it into some deep crevice of your room. paige is aware of the fact that she has to turn away from you, cause if she doesn’t, she’s more than positive she’ll get on her knees in front of you and beg for anything you’ll give to her.
“is this our first date?”
“i’d like to think so.”
once you’ve changed into something you both agreed to (that doesn’t have anything to do with iowa), she’s urging you out the door and to her car. as she starts to drive, she decides to take this time just to talk. she wants to at least know your favorite color considering she’s already seen you in your bra. from your instagram she knows you’re a grade under her, studying in your junior year.
you both end up finding out things about each other you didn’t know before. simple, basic things, but things nonetheless.
you have more in common than you thought. you both have little brothers, from the same hometown, you like some of the same music, you both like sports and the spring time, the little things. the way she describes her younger brother reminds you of your own, and for a second you hope they can meet each other. that hopefully this could go somewhere serious. maybe it’ll really mean something.
“ok, before you say anything, this is my favorite café and i know it’s late but they’re open all night. i can buy you a coffee or something-“
she’s nervous, she’s never taken a date here. she’s never really taken a girl anywhere in awhile. she’s glad it’s you though and not someone else.
“it’s really cute! i really like it paige.” your hand finds itself on her bicep, squeezing slightly. she feels more confident under your touch, like it recharges her. when you pull away to leave the car, she finds herself wanting to chase your touch, desperate to feel it again.
she gives into the feeling, grabbing your hand as the two of you walk inside. she scolds herself for moving too fast and clinging too much, but you’re holding her hand tight to keep her there. you don’t know why you’re so drawn to her, but you are. definitely. everything feels so natural with her, like you don’t have to try hard to impress her.
you both order and despite your protest, she pays for your drink and slice of cake. she’s insisting that you’re gonna share with her anyway so it doesn’t matter.
“so.. that was your roommate on the live with you earlier?”
“yeah, her name is evie. we’ve roomed together since freshman year. why?”
“jus askin. figured i should write her a ‘thank you’ card for being the reason we met.”
you think that’s a remark you’d usually laugh at, but when paige says it, it sounds so genuine. the only response you can muster is a smile. you’re also irrevocably thankful for evie and her spontaneity because you know without it you would still be in your dorm, either sleeping or watching some stupid movie.
“don’t say stuff like that paige”
“why not?”
before you’re forced to answer her and possibly embarrass yourself, a waiter is brining your drinks and cake. you take a bite and make a comment about how good it is and ‘paige you should try it’ to change the topic. it doesn’t work on her though, she’s still questioning you. all you do is shake your head, nervously sipping your coffee and avoiding it.
“why can’t i say that?”
“because you’re too sweet. if you say stuff like that i’m absolutely one hundred percent positive i’ll fall in love with you.”
“would that be so bad?”
“you tell me.”
looking back on it, paige doesn’t think she could’ve pulled you in any faster. she’s kissing you with desperation, seeking your warmth in the cold winter air. her hands cup your face gently, holding you like her life depends on it. you kiss her back, giving into your feelings despite all the apprehension. your mouth move together in sync, finding your own unique rhythm to follow. after you falter for a second she pulls away, fearing that maybe you didn’t want that.
you look at her for a second and catch your breath. it’s your turn to cup her face this time, her hands traveling down to your hips. you pull her back in for a gentle and sweet lasting kiss, savoring the way her lips move against yours and the way she tastes.
she’s pulling away again, moving you to her car and really looking at you.
“that was a nice surprise,”
“paige?”
“yeah?” she’s holding your hand to her face, leaning into you.
“this isn’t the last date right?”
“i’m never leaving you alone after tonight ma, take that as you will.”
₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ゚.ִ ࣪𖤐˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇˚.
guys i might redo this tomorrow idk how i feel
be honest!! is it bad or mid or fire 🤑
really though be honest kk thanks!!!!!
#paige buckets#paige bueckers#uconn wbb#paige bueckers smut#paige bueckers x reader#uconn huskies#uconn women’s basketball
490 notes
·
View notes
Text
i should really be adding nice songs as a counterbalance to the silliness but the thing is, it's so much easier to be stupid. and more fun also
sometimes i make playlist decisions that make me feel like i should apologize to someone. But who do i owe an apology to? the artist? the listeners? i'm not sure. maybe both. this has not historically stopped me from committing playlist crimes
#when i have multiple playlists for one fandom i typically also make one really long one that's allowed to be messy and unorganized#its allowed to change constantly so that the nice and tidy ones stay consistent. it's also allowed to be 3+ hours long.#sometimes the vibe is an organized hour long playlist and sometimes its throwing something on shuffle for the whole day. y'know?#anyways im normal about this as you can see lol
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Opposites Attract
Part 1
Azriel x reader
summary: you’re messy and unorganized, love staying up late and sleeping in in the morning, so what’s going to happen when you’re forced to work with the shadowsinger, the most disciplined person you’ve ever met?
warnings: none!
a/n: this is the most I’ve written in a while but I’m liking how this is turning out. I feel like this could’ve been one part but I don’t really wanna write a 10k word fic so I’ve decided this is gonna be a series. hope you enjoy <3
Azriel, by your viewpoint, had always only been the Spymaster, the epitome of propriety, with an excellent work ethic and an affinity for discipline. For that reason, you felt like you’d never get along with him.
You were messy, unorganized and a little clumsy on occasion. This always led to some interesting stories later on and a lot of teasing from the rest of your family. You pretended to be annoyed at them, rolling your eyes at their snide comments and making fun of their flaws in return, but secretly you loved when they let loose.
Azriel, however, never joined in on this teasing, despite the two of you having known each other for well over a decade. You assumed that it was your lack of discipline that irked him and so he chose to stay away but the High Lord didn't consider this before meddling.
it was a Sunday morning when, in your half-dazed state, you made your way to the kitchen for a cup of coffee.
"Y/n," Rhysand called from behind you.
You groaned in response, not bothering to turn around to face him. It was way too early to be seeing people.
He stayed quiet for a couple of seconds, no doubt waiting for a more proper acknowledgement of the High Lord of the Night Court. When he realized he wasn’t going to get it, he huffed and proceeded with what he needed to say.
"I need some reports filed quickly so from tomorrow you're gonna be working with Azriel to get them to me by the end of the month," Rhysand stated.
Your eyes widened, now feeling more awake than the strongest coffee had made you in the morning. You whipped your head around to face the smirking High Lord, knowing fully well this wasn't an urgent task but a way for Rhysand and Feyre to intervene in your love life. The inner circle loved to joke that because you and Azriel were opposites of each other, you’d get along great. It was all fun and games until Feyre got obsessed with the idea of actually giving you and Azriel a try regardless of whether you and Azriel wanted to or not.
“Can’t someone else do it?” You asked. “Why does it have to be me?”
“Because everyone else is busy doing their work. Besides, Azriel will be a good influence on you. Maybe he can teach you some discipline.” That smirk was still on his face and you’ve never wished more for Feyre’s abilities to make animals out of water. You’d love to leave a bear on Rhysand right about now, but unfortunately, he was your High Lord and his wish is your command, so you settled for the next best thing.
“Your shirt is covered in lint,” you side-eyed and walked out with your coffee cup in hand, leaving a gaping Rhysand swatting at his clothes.
At least you still had the day to prepare yourself for tomorrow.
After training, you were in your room having just come out of the shower. Someone knocked on your door and you had a feeling you knew who it was but strongly hoped against it. You made your way to the door and right before you could open it, your foot caught in a shirt on the ground and you fell with a loud thud.
Grimacing, you stood up, rubbing your elbow where it hit the floor. Opening the door, you saw Azriel standing on the other side with a smirk, no doubt because of your fall. Gods you couldn’t even open the door without being clumsy. Meanwhile, Azriel stood his back straight, shoulders pulled back, wings neatly folded and hands behind his back. He looked like the definition of grace.
You truly were opposites.
“Y/n,” he nodded in greeting, ignoring the knowledge of your fall to save you from further embarrassment.
You smiled slightly in return.
“I’ve been informed that we’re working on the reports together till the end of the month,” he stated.
“That’s correct,” you confirmed.
He nodded. “Meet me in my study tomorrow morning at 8,” Azriel said and walked away.
You stood startled for a second before calling after him, “Eight in the morning? Are you serious?”
Azriel turned around with a confused expression. “Yes.”
“Who starts work at 8 in the morning?” You questioned in disbelief.
“I normally start work at 6 but for you, I’m starting late. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He gave a final nod of farewell before turning around and walking away.
You gaped, internally cursing Rhysand for putting you in this situation. For a person like you who preferred to spend nights awake reading, eight in the morning was like the middle of the night. You didn’t know how you’d survive like this until the month's end. Groaning, you shut the door and slumped face-first into bed.
Cauldron have mercy.
The next morning came around sooner than you were ready for. You’d set an alarm for 6 so you’d have ample time to wake up, enjoy your morning coffee, take a shower, and be ready for a day of torture. However, when 6 A.M. rolled around, getting trampled by a horse in your sleep sounded better than waking up, so you snoozed your alarm and fell back asleep.
When Mor burst into your room, you woke with a start.
“Good morning, princess!” she yelled, walking in wearing her night clothes still but looking as if she was ready for a night out at Rita’s.
“What time is it?” you gasped, frantically reaching for the clock at your bedside.
Mor jumped onto your bed. “What's up?”
8:02 A.M.
“Fuck!” you screamed, jumping out of bed and running to the bathroom. “I'm late!”
You shut the bathroom door, rushing about your morning routine, brushing your teeth, then hair, and slapping on some moisturizer.
“Relax! He lives in the same house!” Mor shouted from your bedroom.
You rushed out of the bathroom, reaching for the pair of shorts on the floor. “Yes, but we live in very different worlds,” you replied, slipping on the shorts and looking around for a shirt.
Mor lay on your bed, head propped up on one arm, and looked at you with an amused expression.
You threw on a random shirt you found in the closet and started to tie your hair into a messy bun. Mor took in your look and frowned. “Are we sure that top works with those shorts?” she asked.
You looked at her incredulously. “I don’t care about that right now!” you exclaimed. “Where are my shoes?” you went on your knees to look under the bed and pulled out a pair of white shoes you’d kicked under there last night. You glanced at the clock while putting on shoes and cursed under your breath.
“Girl, you know he’s not going to eat you alive if you’re 20 minutes late right?” Mor asked.
“No, but with the amount of lecturing I'm about to get, he might as well,” you sighed, getting off the bed and finally heading out the door.
“Good luck!” Mor called behind you as you headed to the door.
“Thanks,” you replied and rushed outside.
Azriel’s study door was ajar so you peeked your head in to make sure he was there.
Azriel was sitting in his chair, head down, looking over some paperwork when you walked in.
“Good morning,” you greeted, going to sit in the chair opposite his. “I’m sorry I’m late.”
Azriel looked at the clock then at you, and said, “You’re earlier than any of us expected, actually.”
You were taken aback slightly by the statement. “Us?” you asked.
“Rhysand, Cassian and I,” he replied. “In fact, you just cost me quite a bit by being only twenty minutes late.”
Now you were straight-up offended. “You three bet that I’d slack off?”
You felt rage towards Cassian and Rhysand for thinking so little of you, but you decided to deal with them later. For now, you were stuck with Azriel for a good eight hours, and those were not going to be easy if you were upset with him the whole time. So, you shook his words off and put on a smile.
“So what are we doing?” you asked.
Masterlist
#azriel fanfic#azriel x reader#acotar#acotar fanfiction#acotar fluff#azriel x female!reader#azriel x you#azriel imagine#azriel shadowsinger#azriel shadowsinger x reader
776 notes
·
View notes
Text
Mental Health words you need to stop using wrong or at all
• Narcissist- describes someone with NPD or Narcissistic traits. Your asshole ex was probably not a narcissist and diagnosing others when you don’t treat them in a clinical setting, is not something you should be doing.
• Narcissistic abuse- this doesn’t exist. Your abuse was valid and we support you speaking up against your abuser but you don’t need to demonize an entire disorder to do that. We are trauma survivors too.
• Antisocial- describes someone with ASPD or antisocial traits. You being introverted or a homebody is not the same as having a lack of prosocial emotions and disregard for social customs.
• OCD- I see this one everywhere. You are not “so OCD” for wanting things to be organized. OCD is a disorder that consists of obsessions and compulsions. It also has intrusive thoughts (talked about next). You can have OCD and be unorganized or messy. Organizing can also be a compulsion but it’s not simply that. Compulsions are something you feel like you HAVE to do or something bad will happen. It is not mild discomfort. It is deeply upsetting and dictates your every thought without proper treatment.
•intrusive thoughts- everyone seems to be mixing up intrusive and impulsive thoughts. Impulsive thoughts are something that you suddenly get the urge to do, typically without regard for the consequences. This is something that you WANT to do. This can be something like dying your hair in the middle of the night, getting a tattoo you might regret later, etc. Intrusive thoughts are not at all that. Intrusive thoughts are things that go completely against your moral code. They are a part of OCD. They are horrifying thoughts to have. Intrusive thoughts can be things like thoughts of hurting those closest to you, thoughts of hurting children, or graphic images that won’t go away. Giving in to impulsive thoughts is usually irresponsible. Giving in to intrusive thoughts could be catastrophic. No one is giving in to intrusive thoughts. The whole point is that they are things you would NEVER DO.
• ADD- this is mostly targeted at my mother. Attention Deficit Disorder no longer exists. ADD is now under the umbrella disorder of ADHD. There are three subtypes of ADHD: inattentive, classic, and combined. Predominantly Inattentive ADHD is when a person presents with the inability to focus, stay on track, and remember things like a neurotypical but doesn’t really present with hyperactivity. Predominantly hyperactive/impulsive is basically the other end of the spectrum. Someone may present with hyperactivity and impulsivity but not so much inattentiveness. Predominantly combined is when a person presents with all of those symptoms.
Feel free to add things I missed in reblogs!
#actually npd#cluster b#npd safe#aspd safe#actually narcissistic#narcissistic personality disorder#actually ocd#intrusive thoughts#impulsive thoughts#actually adhd#adhd#attention deficit hyperactivity disorder#attention deficit disorder (add)
143 notes
·
View notes
Text
# circles
in which: sae’s tired of running around in circles with an undefined relationship, so he decides to take his chance when he can to make you his.
warnings: kind of unorganized, mentions of alcohol, intoxicated reader, insecure reader, mutual pining, just a bunch of comfort and fluff, honestly strayed from the original prompt t-t
reblogs and interactions are appreciated!
itoshi sae is a busy man.
being the most sought for japanese football player and as well as a regular on the real matrid team meant he was always doing something football related. practices, games, events, you name it.
his schedule is packed with plans set months before they happen. companies and teams always request to see him sooner, but he makes no exceptions for anyone, not even his own family.
well, that goes for anyone but you.
itoshi sae has found himself breaking his own ideals without any hesitation. he‘s standing in front of your apartment, 5 hours, 27 minutes and 54 seconds before his flight back to spain, after an obviously drunk text you sent him 10 minutes ago.
1:22AM
y/n: saweewea
y/n: did u knwo a broken heart hurts REAL bad😍
sae: what
y/n: i think i’m goign to crush my cat with my body weight
y/n: u fg hhh hj jgjjgjhhhrkdoforjfof
sae: where are you rn
y/n: ogm r ru gonna come visit me 😎😜🥺
y/n: i’m soooerirjf lonely
sae: .
sae: be there in 5
sae doesn’t know whether to ring the doorbell or call you to let you know he’s here. heck, he’s not even sure whether you’re at home or not, but he does know that it’s not often you go out to drink. as he’s hesitating, you hastily open the door, almost like you could sense him there.
“sae!” you slur, just barely avoiding stumbling over yourself as you straighten up. “i didn’t expect you to actually come visit me.”
“neither did i.” he scoffs as he takes in your current state: graphic anime tee (which he gave you last christmas), sweatpants, messy tangled bun and your face is entirely red. you reek of soju and he knows better than anyone you’re a lightweight, so sae mentally prepares once more for what he’s about to get himself into.
the response from the magenta haired in front of you causes a pout to form on your face. he’s not quite sure if it’s just his imagination or not, but it looks like you’re more down, more tired than usual.
“are you okay?” he asks, and this prompts you to stretch your arms out, almost habitually, and wrap them around the taller male’s torso.
sae flinches ever so slightly at your touch. he gently pushes you back into the apartment as he closes the door, all while having one arm wrapped around your waist.
it’s obvious you’re not in the right mind space, but as everyone says, drunk words are sober thoughts, though sae doesn��t know whether that’s good or bad. you getting blackout drunk as a result of academic stress has become a monthly occurrence now, and it always ends up with sae coming over to babysit you. he’s more than aware of the fact that you’re taking his presence for granted, yet despite that, he’s still always there for you.
you’re obviously more than just friends, so why does sae feel like the line separating friendship and relationship just keeps getting thicker?
you latch onto him like a koala as he shuffles over to your couch. he doesn’t force anything out of you, doesn’t show any impatience, and just waits for you to talk.
the two of you quietly bask in the comfort of each other’s arms for a long time. just as sae begins to loosen his hold on you believing you’ve drifted off, you cling onto him even tighter, refusing to let go of his warmth.
“don’t go.” you mumble into his hoodie, voice quivering, and sae wonders if it really is school stress that’s made you this way.
humming in response, he pats your back lightly as if he’s caring for a baby, trailing his hand up to your head to play with your hair.
sae doesn’t want to pry, but there’s something he really needs to confirm before it eats his thoughts up even more.
“i won’t leave,” he reassures. “did anything happen?”
a sound comes out of your mouth in response, barely louder than a whisper. sae turns his head to look at you and you take it as a request for you to repeat your words. you try again, and this time, you’re still mumbling, but it’s enough for him to make out what you want to convey.
“i’m sorry.” and a tear falls from your eyes, “i’m sorry, sae.”
now sae’s been in this position for countless times, always coming to be your personal therapist at unearthly hours in the night, but this is the first time he’s ever seen you act so vulnerable. he can feel your body trembling against him and his heart aches just seeing you so dejected.
but he’s not dense enough to not realize what you’re apologizing for, because it’s the same reason as to why he decided to ask in the first place. he gently removes his arms off your waist, turns you to face him and moves his hand up to wipe the tears streaming down your cheek.
this tender, silent exchange between the two of you is more than any amount of words that express. sae’s usually indifferent eyes are laced with affection, and you just can’t help but feel so guilty because of that.
“i know you’re really busy,” you avert your eyes, biting on your bottom lip to stop yourself from breaking again. “you’re always doing so much for me, and i feel so terrible because i don’t deserve any of it.”
sae doesn’t say anything, letting you finish your thoughts before stating his.
“i was watching one of your games earlier, and i was reminded of the fact that your world and mine are so far apart.” you’re still looking away, but a soft nudge from sae’s hand pushes you back to look at him. “i just—i feel like i’m not enough for you, sae.”
through watered eyes, you can catch the expression of the male in front of you waver, and with years of knowing him, you’ve mastered the ability to be able to tell what emotions are going off in his mind.
“i know it sounds silly—“
“it’s not silly.” he interrupts, despite being patient all this time, but struggles to find the right words to continue. “is this what you’ve been feeling since back then?”
you shake your head, and lean forward to rest it on his shoulder. “the internet is scary.”
sae lets out a soft chuckle at your unintentional joke, and moves his head to rest it on the side of yours. “but what only matters is that i’m here in front of you right now, yeah?”
“it’s true that i’m busy, but i’ll always be your anchor of support whenever you need it, seriously.” his fingers find their way to intertwine with yours, and your heart flutters at how romantic he’s being. “so don’t cry sweetheart, because you’re breaking my heart as well.”
the use of the pet name makes you giggle, it being so out of character for sae, yet that’s how you know he really means it, from the bottom of his heart. hearing the sound of your laughter allows sae to relax his shoulder from all the tension he unknowingly had been feeling, and he cups your cheek with his palm, bringing you face-to-face with the taller male.
his eyes study your features, taking in your beauty, before going back to make eye contact with you. though you notice how they flicker down to your lips and hover there for a split second longer than anything else, your heart thumping loudly at the realization of what he’s asking of you.
you flash him a small smile in response as approval, and sae wastes no time closing the distance between you two. his touch is soft, almost like he’s afraid of breaking you, and easily washes away all the worries clouding your mind.
sae droops his arms over your shoulders and rests his forehead against yours. “you were always and will be more than enough for me, y/n.”
his sweet words bring a red flush to your face (not from alcohol this time) and you purse your lips in embarrassment as sae’s grin only gets bigger.
“so just hurry up and be mine already.”
BONUS: the morning after
you wake up with a pounding headache, and immediately try to get up to get a drink of water, but your body doesn’t budge at all.
as your eyes begin to adjust, you look down to find sae and his arms locked around you, causing a scoff to come out of your mouth.
of course you couldn’t move when a whole professional football player (incredibly fit btw😍) has a death grip on you.
“sae, wake up.” you nudge him and he only whines in response. “didn’t you have a flight to catch this morning?”
“mm, shush.” he takes one of his arms and lightly pushes you back down into his embrace. “who cares about that, been waiting for this for far too long.”
you laugh and decide to give in, slowly drifting back to sleep.
meanwhile, sae’s nonstop vibrating phone on your nightstand is totally unnoticed, the cause being hundreds of messages and calls from his manager wondering where he is.
#sae’s definitely an acts of service/physical touch type of guy#i love men who can’t word because i can’t word#this was sooo unorganized i kinda just i don’t even know#the end result is kinda different from what i originally planned but it’s ok#reader was supposed to be more um heartless but hey i love fluff and endearing moments so#enjoy!!! :))#blue lock x reader#blue lock fluff#blue lock drabbles#itoshi sae x reader#itoshi sae x y/n#sae x reader#sae x y/n#sae itoshi x reader#sae itoshi fluff#sae fluff#comfort#itoshi sae#bllk fluff#bllk x reader#blue lock sae#sae x you#yumi writes
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Love Languages
Gn!Reader, sfw
How genshin men show their love
Tartaglia, Wanderer, Kaveh, Ayato
Reposted from old acct @angelbvnny
Tartaglia
He definitely loves gift giving. Have you seen how he treats his siblings? Buying them anything and everything any chance he gets. He's the exact same way with you. Tartaglia adores showering you with gifts. No matter the price he'll buy it without a second thought. Although it can be a little uncomfortable at times, when you think about the amount of mora being spent on you, but you know this is just his way of letting you know he cares <3
His favorite thing to gift you is clothing! He likes picking out outfits for you to wear, insisting on having a little fashion show just for the two of you. He just thinks you're so cute in the clothes he picks out for you :) any time there's an event you both have to attend you can be certain there will be a brand new outfit waiting for you on your bed.
Besides gift giving, he's also big with physical touch. Ajax is quite a control freak, constantly feeling the need to have full control over any situation. This means he needs to be touching you in some way at all times, to tell you (and himself) that you're safe. No matter where you are, he will have his arm wrapped around you or be holding onto your hand.
He's also just a very touchy person! Even before you started dating there was many pats on the back and hands on your shoulder. He just doesn't have boundaries that most people have, and doesn't realize he doesn't have them. You find it very endearing when he grabs hold of you without even realizing.
Wanderer
He has a hard time expressing his feelings for you so acts of service is his favorite. When he isn't doing something to purposefully make your life harder, because let's be honest, his favorite thing in the world is to irritate you, he does what he can to make every other part of it easier. Any time he comes over he'll bring food for you to have dinner with him, always being sure to bring your favorite, even if he doesn't like it.
If you're crammed with work or school and leave your place unattended to become dirty, and he comes over? He'll go on and on about how messy and unorganized you are and how if HE were living with you he'd never let it get like this. Complaining about the state of the room and how miserable it's making him, all while throwing away the trash, putting up clothes, and organizing your things. You notice but choose to keep it to yourself <3
Something as equally important to him is quality time. Scara can get very lonely, very quickly, without you. You don't even need to be talking, in fact he quite enjoys the silence, just being in the presence of his love is enough to keep him at peace. Although he prefers it to just be the two of you, no matter where he's at, it's much more bearable with you around.
He really enjoys taking naps with you, although what you're unaware of, is that it's rare that he actually sleeps. He will close his eyes and wait until your breathing slows and your hold on him loosens, then open his eyes and simply observe you. He loves getting to watch you in such a relaxed state. He will trace the shape of your nose, your mouth, your jaw, with his finger tip, moving your hair to get a better view of your face. He's able to do things he'd never be able to do with you conscious, and able to tease him.
Kaveh
Kaveh is SO clingy so physical touch is a give-in. You're basically his personal teddy bear. Even if he's extremely busy with a project he will insist that you sit on his lap while he works. There have been many late nights that you fall asleep hugging his chest as he continues to work. You being there is the only thing that gets him through the night sometimes.
His excessive cuddling only gets worse when he drinks. As he stumbles through the door, skin flushed on his face, you know it will be a long night. He will coo at you saying how cute you are, squeezing your cheeks, and playing with your hair. You have to be appreciative of his delirious state, unable to notice the way your face heats up at his compliments. Eventually he will conk out on top of you, holding you close.
He also adores words of affirmation. He enjoys telling you just how much he loves you, in great detail. He's always sure to praise you for your efforts, whether big or small. I feel like he would leave sticky notes around your house for you to find like, "You're going to do great today!" Or "Looking beautiful as ever" and it's soooo cheesy but you can't help but love it.
He's always sure to tell others about your accomplishments aswell! His friends and colleagues are probably sick of it by now but he can't help but bring you up in every conversation. Gloating about how amazing you are, because how could he not when he has the best partner in the world??
Ayato
He enjoys acts of service. Ayato is a very observant man. So if he notices that you have even the littlest problem, he will be right on it. He will send as much staff as he deems necessary to aid you. Can he go a little overboard sometimes? Yes. But you can't help but giggle when you make an off handed comment about your back hurting, and the next day you have an appointment with inazuma's best masseuse.
Even if there isn't a problem, he doesn't want his love to have to lift a finger. You've made attempts to help around the estate in various ways but are quickly shut down as he makes a comment about how "that's what Thoma's there for." It's not that he doesn't WANT your help, in fact, the idea of eating your home cooked meals sounds very enticing, it's just that he wants to help lighten the load of things you need to do as much as he can.
Gift giving is another way he shows you that he loves you. Mora isn't an issue with him and he makes that quite clear. Like previously stated, he notices the little things. If you are out in the city and he notices you eyeing a certain tea set, he will 100% buy it. Ayato adores the surprised look on your face when you're presented with the item, you didn't think that he even saw you glimpsing at.
You will always have the newest brand jewelry and clothing. You are his future spouse, which means you are associated with the Kamisato Clan, so of course you have to look your best. That's his reasoning to you of course, really he just loves putting his darling in the highest quality items there is. In his eyes you're an absolute gem, so no amount of mora would ever be too much.
#genshin#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#tartaglia x reader#tartaglia#childe x reader#childe#wanderer x reader#wanderer#kaveh x reader#kaveh#ayato x reader#ayato#kamisato ayato#kamisato ayato x reader
257 notes
·
View notes