#this is really just for me

[denkryn]

(reneé rapp, bruises, 2023)

[corruptlight]

Oh, My Love - A SWTOR Story

In which the Commander gets stabbed on Nathema instead of Theron Shan.

Its me back on my bullshit instead of sleeping (help) and I've been in SWTOR brainrot for a long while now and I keep thinking and creating stories based off my silly little swtor characters.

This isn't edited by the way

"I love you Theron, please, come home." Lana shuts off the holo and Sylvi begins to leave the room. Not saying a word as Lana watches sadly, knowing it was better not to say anything.

"I'm going for a walk in the woods, clear my mind." Was all she said before leaving, and not even going towards the woods. Sylvi heads for a secret shared apartment that no one knew off except her, Theron, and C2-N2.

It was for her to stop Theron being a workaholic and sleep and for her to get away from the alliance and being its commander. She lazily opens the door, before walking towards the lounge and slumping onto it. Too lost in her mind, the only thing keeping her going had ceased to exist and she finally tumbled down into a dark abyss of depression, shame, and self-loathing.

><><><

"I swear when I get my hands on him-" Trygve starts while Ingrid and Víðarr stand with him in the field where the former Cipher Nines ship resides.

"Trygve..." Víðarr starts but Trygve swirls to face him with a firm finger pointed at him.

"HE WILL FEEL EVERY AGONY, EVERY FORM OF TORTURE POSSIBLE FOR WHAT HE DID. I WILL SEE HIM BREAK FOR WHAT HE DID TO HER!" Trygve yells, making Ingrid flinch to hide behind Víðarr making the male twin sigh and calm himself slightly at her behavior.

"Brother, we will find him. I promise you, and we will make him pay," Víðarr assures, "But, you cannot deny something about this is off."

Ingrid moves from her position slightly behind the Sith, opening her mouth to say something before her comlink goes off.

"Ingrid here," She says while answering it.

"Its Hylo, we've found the pirate that keeps raiding the transports." Hylo Viz explains before disconnecting, making Ingrid close her eyes.

"I'll go, I sense something about this that's... familiar." Ingrid says to the brothers.

"Sense what?" Trygve quizzes, making Ingrid smile slightly.

"I sense someone that I'll love until the stars go cold." The Zabrak then turns on her heel and walks away with haste.

"Andronikos revel." Víðarr whispers with a small smirk.

"That pirate that helped her recover Tulak Hord's artifact on Tatooine?" Trygve asks.

"How do you-- another time. Lets go find Lana and figure our next move to find Theron."

"Vaylin! You have too stop her!"

"It is a tainted world."

"The Force is... wrong here."

"There are things in there even I cannot protect you from."

Sylvi shoots up in a sweat, another nightmare plaguing her sleep, however, this time it felt like a warning from the Force.

"Nathema..." She whispers before springing to her feet, half consciously, half on auto-pilot.

She needed to leave Odessen, without anyone knowing, following or finding her. Suddenly feeling like she was in a jail, she checked her armor before clipping her dualsaber to her belt. She walks to her wardrobe and finds a black cloak, heaving it over herself she pulls her hood up and leaves the apartment.

She blocks off all her bonds and shrouds her force signature, suppressing it from the force users all over the planet. She knew she had to take a ship without a tracker on it, or land then use the auto-pilot to send it adrift in the galaxy.

'That would throw them off my scent.' Sylvi realizes before maneuvering to the hanger. It was midnight and no sane person would be up unless they were on patrol.

The raven haired Jedi peeks around the corner, seeing an officer on patrol. Though she hated it, Sylvi forces them into a sleep before gently having them fall to the ground and running across to the fighters. She looks around before force leaping onto a fighter, once she does she hears voices coming towards the hanger before they notice her sleeping soldier.

"Over there!" Admiral Aygo calls out before getting onto the comms and shouting orders for flight control. Because the group couldn't identify Sylvi, they figured her to be a spy, saboteur, or assassin and that was a means for capture at any cost.

"Sithspit." Sylvi curses under her breathe before getting the ship fired up and getting ready to fly out.

In her quarters, Ingrid stirs feeling a heavy and firm arm around her waist. The Zabrak hears her comm beeping and uses the force to bring it to her.

"This better be important." Ingrid hisses.

"Ingrid! We have a situation in the hanger with an unknown assailant attempting to flee in a fighter. Their intent is unknown and they appear to be a force user!" Aygo explains making her groan, feeling the person behind her start to wake.

"I might not be able to get there in time." Ingrid replies, while attempting to move but the arm around her waist keep her flush to the persons chest.

"Understood, we will attempt to detain them." Aygo tells her before she turns off her commlink.

"Andronikos..." Ingrid starts but the pirate wasn't letting her go.

"Forget them, they've got it handled." He tells her lazily, planting kisses on her shoulders and gently taking the commlink and throwing it somewhere.

"This is important."

"So? You've skipped out on dark council meeting for less." Andronikos argues, not letting her go after getting her back. The pirate moves towards the Zabraks neck slowly, knowing it would help his argument for her to stay.

"Yes... I... I know this, but..." She keeps trailing off, finding it difficult to speak, and Andronikos smirks knowingly.

"But, Sith?"

Sylvi gets the fighter moving and knows Aygo and attempting to comm her, but she left it in the staging area so he wasn't getting an answer. She watches as he sends men to go find her in what most assumed were her private quarters.

Once she finds the opportunity she flies out of the hanger and into the atmosphere while getting the hyperdrive ready and finding the tracker at the same time.

Eventually, finds two wires she remembers her brothers telling her were for the tracker and weapons.

"Blast, which one was it." Sylvi asks herself before deciding to pull them both out.

What could go wrong?

As she pulls the wires an alarm start blaring to tell her weapons were disabled. She groans before glancing to see if she was clear to jump.

"Flying is for droids." She grumbles before entering hyperspace.

Leaving her with only her thoughts and the stars.

[theupstairskid]

WeeWoo Show Speculation Post Pt 1

I'm just throwing all of my season 8 WeeWoo Show (9-1-1) speculation/questions in this post so I can get it out of my brain and try to be a normal, productive, person (press X to doubt). I hit the character limit with this so I'll have to make another part. It's really just for me but if anyone comes across this and gets something out of it, great!

Since Buck and Eddie are my favorite characters I imagine most of this will be about them. It is what it is. These are gonna get looooong.

I'm curious from a character perspective, not a shipping one, how Gerrard will affect Buck and Tommy's relationship. Because while Tommy is no longer under the thumb of Gerrard, Buck now is. And this will be Buck's first time experiencing Gerrard for himself and not just in the stories other people have told. And we know a lot about how Gerrard runs his stations based off of "Hen Begins" and "Chimney Begins." Let's be honest, Buck (and possibly Eddie but I'll get to that) will have it the easiest with Gerrard. Buck is a white man and can easily hide his bisexuality. In fact it would be very easy to throw a little biphobia in there if they wanted to (NOT SAYING THAT THEY WILL, honestly I hope not). Perhaps Tommy telling Buck something like, "You're bi, you still like girls. Just don't mention that you also like boys." And this is possible because yes, Gerrard saw them at the award ceremony, but we don't actually know if he explicitly found out the relationship between Buck and Tommy. Because, based on what Tommy said at the end of season 7, I think there's a chance Tommy's advice to Buck will just be to keep his head down and let others take Gerrard's ire. Which is basically what he did when he was at the 118. I'm not condemning it, I think-- for what we know of Tommy's character-- it's a logical thing to do. Especially when just by being who he is on the outside (white, male) and tucking away parts of him on the inside (gay) it was easier to deal with a shitty situation with a shitty person. But here's the thing, Hen and Chim can't hide parts of themselves to make them more palatable for Gerrard. Chim already tried for one, and even with him married to a white woman, I don't think it will make much difference considering the shade he threw at Gerrard during the awards ceremony. Hen will get it the worst (again). Hen can't hide that she's Black and that she's a woman. Even if Gerrard forgets that's she's a lesbian, her gender and her skin color are two major targets on her back. Plus there's no way Gerrard has forgotten WHO essentially got him removed from the 118. I think Tommy possibly telling Buck to keep his head down and not say anything will be a point of contention and a possible strain on their relationship. Tommy might even tell Buck to transfer to another station if getting Gerrard out of the 118 seems impossibly hopeless. Tommy only had a casual relationship with these people during his time at the 118, and even with his relationship with Buck and friendship with Eddie (and even Chim during the episode with Red) keeping him connected or bringing him back into the orbit of the 118, it's not a strong enough bond. Hen and Chim (and Bobby, and Eddie, and Ravi) are Buck's FAMILY. Family is everything to Buck, especially his chosen family (also Chim is his literal brother-in-law so we're also talking his actual family, not counting his relationship with Bobby) I think Buck is going to have a very hard time sitting on his hands and biting his tongue and NOT saying anything about how Hen and Chim are being treated. I think there's a possibility depending on how this plays out, that Tommy's history/response to Gerrard could negatively impact their relationship. Will it end in a breakup, I have no idea. Personally, based on what I've seen in official interviews, I don't think Gerrard will be what breaks them up but it will cause strain if they decide to go this route.

In another example of Eddie/Buck/Tommy triangle-ness, I think it would be really interesting if Eddie, who is Buck's BFF and also now experiencing Gerrard, is a counter-point to Tommy. I think Eddie (this is also depending on where he is mentally after Christopher's absence and if he's not taking time away to get his head right) would also have an easier time under Gerrard's rule. Maybe not as easy as Buck because he still is half Mexican, but ethnicity aside, he's still male, seemingly straight, a father, and an Army vet. It's a little harder for Gerrard to be awful to Eddie (I don't think he would want to touch the backlash that "harassing a decorated Army vet" would get him with a ten-foot pole, ESPECIALLY in the world of first responders. It would be career suicide and if he does have any involvement with the councilwoman that'd be even worse for him), so I think he'd probably go the route of ignoring Eddie altogether (I do think he would possibly take some potshots at him about the Chris situation but nothing that would jeopardize his position). I think where Tommy might possibly tell Buck to keep quiet, keep his head down, don't make it worse for yourself; Eddie would perhaps do the opposite. I think there's a good chance that Eddie would tell Buck to stand up for those being targeted by Gerrard and would perhaps throw himself right in there with him. They're not immune to Gerrard but might have a better chance of pushing back without major repercussions. Eddie knows how important family is to Buck, he's had 7 years to get to know him, and I think he would know that sitting idly by isn't something that Buck can do especially when he can protect his family. There's so many examples of when people thing Buck is being "reckless" what they're actually seeing is Buck being "protective." Going up on that crane and making himself a target for the sniper comes to mind. Buck isn't someone who does things by halves. I think Eddie might choose to stand with Buck or at least tell him to do what he thinks is right and that he'll support whatever decision he makes.

There's no real solid evidence to support this in canon, more of a personal observation but I feel like Tommy's just a more closed off, reserved person. I think he chooses to distance himself or withdraw when there's conflict and he's someone that always keeps a level head and never really let's anyone know how he's really feeling. Compared to Buck "heart on my sleeve" Buckly, I think Tommy being more reserved and less willing to "step in it with him" may come up at some point/cause strain on the relationship. Tommy doesn't feel like someone who shows himself fully and wouldn't give all of himself to someone else and I think that's going to feel strange to Buck. Not saying it's bad or criticizing, because I get it I can be very similar, but I think the level of commitment each side is giving and not being on the same page will come up.

I think commitment will actually come up a lot in s8. Especially committing when the chips are down and things seem impossible. Hen and Karen, Maddie and Chim committing to bringing Mara back to her family even when the odds are stacked against them. Eddie committing to Chris and being patient and waiting for Chris to come back instead of rushing to go get him. Eddie knows that now that Chris is in his parents hands, they could easily not give Chris back or could convince Chris to never come back to LA and live with them in El Paso permanently. Eddie will hopefully commit to himself and prioritize himself and his needs and wants. Commit to figuring out who Eddie is when everything else is stripped away. Bobby and Athena will commit to each other and commit to starting over again, picking up where they left off and committing to be stronger, a bond forged in fire.

Whether it leads to Buddie or not, I do hope we get queer Eddie in s8. I think it makes logical sense especially given Eddie's past issues with his relationships, the Catholic guilt, the repression. If this season is about Eddie figuring out who he is when he's just Eddie and no one else: not dad, not boyfriend, not son, not friend (if what was said in interviews about Eddie isolating himself is true) then I think it's a very logical place to go.

I think we've gotten confirmation that Gavin is coming back as Chris next season so I imagine we won't get Chris coming back until the midseason finale. Either in the last episode before the break or the first episode back. I can 100% see them making Chris' return dramatic and some kind of emergency but to be honest, I kind of hope that there's no issues with Eddie and Chris' reunion and that Eddie's parents don't complicate things

[ichigokeks]

Love and Leashes | The blue scene

[page-2-ids]

[ID: A flag with eleven vertical stripes, all the same size. The colors are darker at the edges and lighter moving towards the middle, except for the very middle, which is darker. The colors are, from left to right, very dark gray, navy-gray, dusty purple, dusty pink, light soft gold, washed-out red, light soft gold, dusty pink, dusty purple, navy-gray, and very dark gray. END ID]

RockstarSmoketure|Rockstarsmoketure: A gender related to pictures of rockstars smoking

The colors are inspired by my associations with rockstars, as well as smoke and cigarettes

No Suggested Pronouns

[aggressivedinonuggies]

Say it with me folks…

THE BEST WAY WE CURRENTLY HAVE TO ACCURATELY VIEWING OURSELVES IS THROUGH PICTURES

NOT. MIRRORS.

LOOK AT PHOTOS OF YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS

NOT. IN. THE. MIRROR.

THE LONGER YOU STARE THE MORE TIME YOUR GIVE YOUR BRAIN TO FUCK THE IMAGE UP

YOU. DONT. LOOK. LIKE. THAT.

DONT BE A LOOKING GLASS

Thank you.

Could recommend some great academic studies for further reading if you wish :)

[puppyeared]

filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^

[lgbtlunaverse]

The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

[churroach]

Full of Desires

[inganikki]

First tweet: “I saw a piece of fabric? on the floor of my room so I went to pick it up but it was actually the moonlight that entered through the window lmao”

Quote RT: “1000 years ago this would have been a poem, not a tweet”

[beepboopappreciation]

Is this anything

[napping-sapphic]

take your clothes off and get on the bed what no we aren’t having sex right now we’re cuddling and pressing every inch of skin together as close as possible for the next six hours

[hansoeii]

It was affection.

[marfian]

So act 3 huh

[sunbloomdew]

do you ever see a person and you are overcome with incredible fondness? and you just think "oh." but not in a romantic or sexual way you are just filled with warmth and it makes you happy, it just does. and you think "i'm so happy you exist. i'm happy you are somewhere out there in the world, doing your thing". it's love but also not entirely

like people are lovely and i feel it in my entire chest like a burning candle that smells like roses and a sunny day

[inbabylontheywept]

bad dating stories time: the shoe incident

so in highschool, my best friend wasnt allowed to go on dates unless there was another couple there to keep an eye on him. part of this was his parents being insane, but also, part of it was him being insane. in a problem with no reasonable parties, there are no reasonable solutions.

at some point in my junior year, my sorta-gf broke up with me, and i just wasnt feeling dating, which was bad for my friend, because he had a good thing going with a girl he met in court.

he kind of hounded me about it. kept pushing me to just put me feet back in the dating pool and i wasnt real thrilled about it, because i knew he was pushing me for his own benefit, not mine, so i kept telling him to fuck off, and after a few weeks of being told that i would date when i was damn well ready, he eventually said: okay. what if i paid for the date AND found you a blind date AND all you had to do was show up?

and i shouldve said no, i know, but i let him wear me down, and i will own my fault in that. a date starting on such a stupid premise could never have gone well.

but he still managed to find a way to make it worse.

i dont know how long he tried to set a blind date up. it couldve been multiple attempts. he couldve stooped to this immediately. but what happened in the end was that he called a girl from the ward he attended - a girl that he knew had a giant, mushy crush on him - and he said: hey! how would you feel about going on a date this weekend?

(you know, implying it was with him, but never actually saying it.)

and she said YES WOW I WOULD LOVE TO and he said great! and then he called me up and said he found me a date.

i did not learn about his crimes until several weeks later. i will die swearing before god almighty that i would never have allowed this travesty to happen if i had known.

that was on a monday. the date of the date rolled around that friday evening, and im sorry to confess, i really phoned the whole thing in. i showed up in my favorite comfy outfit, which was also a fashion crime: basketball shorts and flipflops and a baja hoodie. it was super comfy but it made me look kind of crazy. i picked him up first, and then i picked up his date next, and then we went to pick up my date, and thats where you're gonna get the play by play.

i arrived, walked across the yard, and knocked on the front door. she opened it almost immediately, like shed been waiting right by it, and i could see her expression go from OMG IM SO EXCITED to super disappointed, then disgusted and finally pissed. and because i didn't know about my friends sins, i thought it was from my outfit. which seemed... harsh. like, hey, im allowed to be quirky, fuck you. also its a blind date, i thought the deal was that we were both going to be sad broken sacks of mortality.

anyway, we looked at each other for several seconds before she slammed the door in my face.

i looked back at my friend. he was sweating bullets. i dont know what he expected from this, but there was this big long pause where we both tried to figure out what to do, and then the door opened up, and her dad invited me in, and he said she was gonna need a few minutes to finish getting ready, and that in the meantime we could sit and talk.

we did not talk. we did sit. i sat down on the couch, and he sat down in a chair across the couch, and then instead of talking he cleaned his pistol on the coffee table. i wasnt actually sure if it was a threat, or if it was just a fidget thing for 40+ year old republican men, but when i tried to help he got snappy so i just watched him put a pistol back together.

he was okay at it.

eventually my date came downstairs, still mad as hell for reasons beyond my ken, and i felt pretty guilty for being such a mess because i thought that was why she was so angry. i tried to make up for by walking her to the car and getting the door for her, just generally trying to be extra polite, but before i could make it back to the drivers side, her dad called me back to the door. so i flipped around, went to the door, and immediately regreted my decision.

soon as i was within range, her dad got waaaay too close to me, leaned in, and said "whatever you do to her, i will do to you," and my brain went into overdrive making three consecutive realizations.

realization one was, damn, the pistol thing was a threat. that sucks. what an asshole. realization two was, wait, im autistic and even i know theres a 0% chance me and my date even hold hands, least of all boink. does this guy actually think there's even a 1% chance of anyone in that car getting laid tonight? is he an idiot? and then realization three went through, which was wait, is this guy threatening to fuck me? and unfortunately, with my brain doing so much processing, my mouth was left to run amok, so somewhere between realization 2 and 3, i said:

"i can't get pregnant"

which, i swear, wasn't actually me trying to be a smartass, it was just me pointing out that he couldn't actually follow up on that threat. it just wasn't possible. we do not live in the omegaverse and im not scared of you.

still, it was an insanely catastrophic thing to say, and the moment we both heard it, we bluescreened. that single sentence obliterated both of our momentary streams of consciousness like a saltine in front of a sand blaster. problem was, he'd probably gone his whole life not even realizing someone could say something that stupid, and making that realization was going to cost him a lot of thinking time. me though? i had been saying shit like that for 17 years, i didnt have to rewrite my expectations of human nature, i just had to plan an exit and start striding. so i was already halfway back to the car before i heard "hey. hey come back. Hey. Hey. HEY. HEY WAIT. HEY GET BACK HERE. HEY-"

and then i was in my car, and i drove away.

if this happened today, he'd have called her, and the whole thing wouldve imploded then and there, but back then, there were still a decent number of teenagers without cell phones. especially the teenagers of insane, gun toting parents. so she just said: whoa what was that all about? and i said: dont worry about it, he'll tell you about it when you get home.

and she said: ok and went back to staring daggers at me and my friend.

WHICH SURPRISINGLY isnt even how the story ends.

we went to an improv comedy show, and it was a disaster. it shouldve been like, 7/10 tops, but between my date being mad, and my friend having a good time, and me having the existential terror of knowing that a guy with a pistol was probably waiting outside his house for me to come back, it was easily 11/10. i laughed way too hard at everything. especially the jokes that flopped. id sit there in this mostly silent room and laugh until i dry heaved a little, and my date was absolutely disgusted, and even my friend was a little embarrassed, which would just make me laugh harder. i laughed so hard that night i could barely talk the next day. and then the show ended, and my friend said, you know, that was a good time, but i think we should maybe do something a little chiller? who wants to walk around the park? and his date said yeah, and my date said no, and i finally had mercy on the poor woman so i said, look, im gonna drop you off. and i am so, so sorry about this, but im dropping you off like a block away. super duper sorry.

do talk to your dad about the pistols thing if you dont want this happening more in the future tho.

and she said: okay. so i dropped her off, and she walked a block down, and that was that.

then i drove my friend and his date to a park that was good for wandering. i figured they wanted something more private, so instead of following them around point blank, i chose a park with this 30 foot rope tower, and i climbed to the top and i said: hey i can see you anywhere from up here, you are officially chaperoned from a distance. get panopticoned idiot. except my friend really is an idiot, and he didnt really get the whole 'now i dont have to third wheel so insanely hard with you guys' thing so he climbed up the tower too, and then his date followed behind him, so there are three people basically sitting together on top of a telephone pole.

and then they started making out.

i was close enough to hear it.

i didnt really know what to do so i was just kind of sitting there, dissociating, when some college kids came around and started shaking the tower. my friend's date went aaaaaaaaaa im afraid of heights :( and my friend went oh, dont worry, ill hold you tight ;) and i went hey, im gonna climb down and ask them to stop.

so i did climb down, and i did ask them to stop, and they flipped me off, which i wasnt even mad about. at that point i was i was like yeah, it would be weirder if this wasnt a mess. gods plan has been to fly this day like a 747 into my metaphorical twin towers and brother he is close enough for me to see him grinning through the cockpit window. still, eventually the college students got bored, so they climbed up the tower, which gave my friend and his date a window to climb down, and together we walked back to my car.

now, i cant explain why this is, but sitting back in the drivers seat was my carriage-back-into-a-pumpkin moment. i'd been chill about all the chaos, just rolling with the punches, but sitting down made me realize how much of a shitshow the day had been, and while i couldnt go back and fix all of it, i could go back and fix one thing.

so i told my friend and his date, hey, you two, stay here and don't do anything weird. don't. then i walked back to the rope tower, and i started picking up the shoes the college students had left at the base in order to climb.

about halfway through this, i realized that if i took all their shoes, they might think i was in it for the money, and i actually wanted them to know i was in it specifically to spite them. fuck those guys. so i put all the right shoes back, gave myself a 100 foot headstart, yelled "nice shoes, assholes", did a little jig, and started running.

my advice to everyone is that college students are faster than you think. even with the headstart, and the whole climb down the tower thing, i was still only fivish seconds ahead of them by the time i got to my car. i flung the door open, looked in the backseat, didnt see anyone, flung the stolen shoes in the backseat, heard two "ow"s, took that as proof of presence, jumped in and pealed out of the lot.

my friend and his date popped up a few seconds later. they were, uh, doing something weird in the back seat. my one request - obliterated.

they climbed up to ask where the hell all the shoes had come from, and i was like yeah i stole them from the college students, and they were like oh. cool. hope you had fun. and i was like, i did. i did. but speaking of fun, what were you doing back there?

and for the first time in my buddies life, i think he was actually embarassed.