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neon-moon-beam · 3 years ago

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Please Be Careful About How You Portray Submas

This is a longer post, but I didn’t feel there was a way to make it shorter. I divided it up by sections in the hopes that this makes it easier to read.

I also want to make the following clear:

This post is not exclusively about, but does delve into the headcanon that Ingo and Emmet are autistic. I myself am neurodivergent, but not autistic. My roommate is autistic and is the author of this post (which you should read if you haven’t already as it will add more context to mine). I have run this post by and taken input from her, as well as other autistic people, because I do not want to speak over or for people, nor do I want to offend anyone. If I have made a mistake, it was not my intention and I will do my best to learn and correct it.

I am also not calling out or attacking anyone; I deliberately made descriptions of art or posts vague as to not make anyone feel singled out. I’m not here to attack anyone, but rather bring up issues I’ve seen in earlier Submas content that seems to be repeating itself.

Bl*nkshippers dni--I will block you.

Under a cut for length as well as possible warnings for ableism, stigma towards mental illness, and descriptions of depictions of violent fanart.

Problematic Art In The Early 2010s

Anyone who was in the Submas fandom in the early 2010s, or anyone who has been part of the fandom before the content primarily became PLA angst knows a lot of the earlier fan content was…not good. Bl*nkshipping was a persistent problem, but there were a lot of other Submas depictions ranging from bizarre to violent, to some that were downright ableist (which Emmet almost exclusively bore the brunt of), though at the time the fandom did not widely adopt the now-popular headcanon that Ingo and Emmet are autistic. Somehow back then, only Emmet got treated as such without anyone ever suggesting he was autistic, often with Ingo in a caretaker role. Most likely a lot of people thought they were depicting him cutely, with him being “childlike” or whatever it was they intended. But if you’re on the spectrum and see yourself in Submas (like my roommate) or have context (like I do), certain art of Emmet from that era comes off as ableist. Art like this was fairly common and portrayed Emmet as sort of a “child in an adult’s body” or as someone who “never grew up”, all common autistic stereotypes. Emmet was sometimes depicted in ways that suggested he had higher support needs but only when artists wanted him to be “cute”. If he was depicted (accurately) as someone with higher support needs, that would be one thing. Instead he was depicted as essentially neurotypical by an artist until they wanted him to be “cute”. Then it would switch to him appearing to have higher support needs, often accompanied by a tired or annoyed Ingo helping him. And ironically as identical twins, if Emmet is autistic, there’s almost no chance Ingo isn’t.

Back in the early 2010s along with these ableist depictions of Emmet, there was also a fair amount of art from people who decided he was somehow creepy and violent. Maybe it was the perpetual smile and his “odd way of talking” (which has been interpreted by many as him scripting), both of which can, and have been seen as autistic traits. It might have also been the idea that Emmet being “childlike and innocent” was a cover for something horrible. Whatever it was led to a lot of images of Emmet wielding weapons (most often giant scissors or a chainsaw) and splattered in blood. Sometimes Ingo got this treatment alongside Emmet, or else was depicted as one of Emmet’s victims (or his sole victim). This is also ableist and stigmatizing towards those with mental illness(es). While there has been a bit more acceptance in recent years, there are still attitudes that mental illnesses are “scary” and that people with them are dangerous, particularly ones with difficult to treat or misunderstood symptoms (despite research showing such people are more likely to be the victims of violence rather than the perpetrators). This art of Emmet as unhinged and violent contributed to the stigma many people face.

What does this have to do with art today, and PLA?

I don’t venture into the Submas tags much at all because I’m not a fan of the angst that seems to be a majority of the content right now, and I’m personally not really a fan of alternate universes/crossovers when it comes to them, and prefer to stay out of headcanon discussions. That being said, I’ve ended up seeing some things that are veering a bit too close for comfort to the problematic art of the 2010s. I’m seeing a lot of art of “unhinged” Emmet or “Emmet fights god” that comes too close, but there’s also ones where he’s still in Unova on the Subway, ready to snap or seeming to take his pain at Ingo’s disappearance out on anyone who happens to be the final straw. If you think that Ingo has been missing from Unova for some time rather than he arrives back at the exact moment he was taken from, then naturally Emmet is going to be experiencing some very strong, very negative emotions. But there’s an appropriate way to depict Emmet experiencing these things, and then there’s ways that go too far and end up being ableist and/or insensitive.

As a bit of a side note, I’ve also seen people tagging their art, posts, or even reblogged posts about Submas with things like “he is babey”. Ingo and Emmet are adult men. Tagging adults with this (and especially when done with real people rather than characters) is infantilizing and can come off as ableist, especially towards neurodivergent people who are often infantilized online and offline. I’ve also seen people delighting in the idea of Emmet being “deranged” or “unhinged” or “crazy” in their tags, which is another form of ableism, perpetrating stigma towards mental illness (specifically by romanticizing or even fetishizing it). The neurodivergent community, and people with mental illnesses are seeing these things, and for many of us, they hurt. Even if you yourself are part of these communities, just because it doesn’t bother you doesn’t mean other people can’t be bothered by it, and whatever your intentions are, often times these things perpetrate the stigma these communities are fighting to end.

Another thing I’ve noticed is Emmet is nearly exclusively being depicted as unhinged, which is reminiscent of early 2010s art depicting Ingo as the stable, “mature” one, and Emmet as unstable, a “perpetual child”, etc. When you consider that Emmet has more obvious autistic traits, this looks very ableist. I’ve seen interpretations of Ingo being “feral” as a result of him living in Hiusi (especially in art that depicts him living in the wild with Sneasler), but mostly these do not go as hard as people go in making Emmet unhinged, traumatized, and out for revenge. Then add in art where Emmet is mentally unwell and physically attacking Arceus or Volo, or taking his frustration disproportionally out on people and Pokemon around him, and it feels as though we’re coming full circle.

So are all depictions problematic?

Absolutely not! Obviously not every depiction of Submas as autistic or having a mental illness is ableist, stigmatizing, or offensive. If you’re basing your content off your own experiences, most likely it’s OK. What it really comes down to is why and how you’re depicting them this way.

Let’s say you depict Emmet needing help completing basic tasks. Is this about an actual headcanon you have? Have you researched this topic if it’s not based on your own experiences? Or is this about depicting Emmet as “cute” or “vulnerable”, and does Ingo also need help, or does this depiction serve simply to play up Ingo’s role as “responsible” or as a caretaker? Or are both of them in need of help from a third party simply to be “cute”?

Or let’s say you decide to make a comic in which Emmet has an unhinged villain arc. Is Emmet going too far just for the sake of making him look as unhinged or unwell as possible?

If your end goal is simply to use illness or disability to make characters look cute, to build up or contrast another character who interacts with them, or simply to fuel angst or a desire to see someone “lose it”, you probably need to examine your work and think about why you've chosen to use these things as plot devices, especially considering that this depiction can be harmful to neurodivergent and mentally ill people.

It’s important that you make sure your depiction of Submas (or any other characters for that matter) are NOT ableist or perpetrating stigma. My guess is the art from the 2010s was mostly unintentionally so; it’s likely the artists were just ignorant of the issues they were perpetrating, and some maybe just ran too wild with interpretations or jokes about Emmet being scary. It’s easy to get into a feedback loop when you have other fans and artists supporting a particular interpretation. After all, things the fandom widely accepts such as Emmet breeding Joltiks or stealing Ingo’s pudding started out as someone’s interpretation and others ran with it. It doesn’t take very long to Google information you would need to write or depict a convincing but not inappropriate or ableist depiction. You can find sources covering the topics you want to write about or depict, including people’s personal accounts (just don’t use info from organizations that speak over and actually harm the people they claim to be “helping”). You can also ask people about their experiences, but just be aware that people are not obligated to tell you their personal information or educate you, so if someone declines you need respect that.

So what can be done if I see this happening?

Here are some suggestions on handling these things. This is by no means exhaustive.

I’ve seen someone make ableist or stigmatizing content. What do I do? Here’s a basic outline if you feel like contacting them, but remember, you don’t have to if you don’t feel comfortable or safe. You’re not obligated to step in and educate others: 1. Be nice and polite. Coming off as reactionary is a good way to make someone defensive and not listen to you.

2. Avoid attacking them personally. Making mistakes does not mean someone themselves is ableist. As much as there has been more acceptance and education recently, there is still a long ways to go. There’s a chance they didn’t realize their content came off that way.

3. Explain why the depiction is problematic, and if possible, link to a source explaining it as well. Example: “Ingo drinking out of a mug that says ‘OCD should be CDO so the letters are in the correct order’ is an inaccurate and harmful joke about OCD. Here is a link to how the Just Right subset of OCD actually works, if you want to portray him having OCD more accurately.”

4. Avoid messaging them over and over, or having other people message them, making callout posts, etc.

But what if they don’t think there’s a problem, get nasty, or continue with problematic depictions? Or what if they’ve already had others tell them about the problem and they have no intent to stop?

At this point, there isn’t much that can be done. It can be hard to accept someone doesn’t want to hear you out, understand there’s a problem, learn, or change what they’re doing, but sometimes it happens. The best option is to remove yourself from the situation, block them, and move on. If the content actually violates the terms of service of the site it’s being hosted on, you can report it. You can also report them if they start harassing you.

I’ve read this or other people’s concerns and think I’ve made ableist or stigmatizing content, or someone told me I did, what should I do?

First of all, apologize. Hear the other person/people out if someone has contacted you.

Second, don’t beat yourself up about it, especially if you genuinely didn’t know, and don’t take someone pointing something out to you as a personal attack. Just because you’ve made a mistake doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.

Third, educate yourself on the issue and take steps to do better. Adjust the parts of your content that were problematic, or start over if you need to. Apologies don’t go very far if you don’t change your behavior.

Thank you for reading my post. I know it was long and different from the content I usually post, but I wanted to address these issues as a fan of Submas who also happens to be neurodivergent.

#submas #ingo #ingo pokemon #emmet #emmet pokemon

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marlesisdumb · 2 years ago

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So apparently I, as one of the very few not terminally online people on twitter/tumblr have to make this post. So then, let’s talk about keffals. This post is going to assume you already know the situation with her getting doxxed and harassed. If you don’t there are numerous posts/ videos on the subject. let’s start off with the basics. No one deserves to get doxxed. “bUt sHe sAiD sHe wAnTeD oThEr pEoPlE tO gEt dOxXeD” if you actually watch the clip in which she says this, it is blatantly obvious that she was joking. Is it a good joke? Fuck no. Did she deserve to get doxxed and harassed for it? Also fuck no. Are you all so god damn brain dead that if someone makes a bad joke you doxx and harass them?

Next, the “s3xu41 pr3454101” claim. This claim is incredibly baseless. For all I can tell what happened is she had a clearly 18+ part of her discord server and *allegedly* minors got onto it. As a minor, on the internet, while there maybe should have been a better screening process, that is the fault of those minors. *To all my fellow kids, if something is 18+ and you go on it and see something or something happens on there that is 18+, don’t bitch and moan about it, you went there while knowing it was 18+*. This is also CLEARLY a transphobic dogwhistle. I even saw someone say that it’s interesting that she left Canada while her hard drives are being held by the Canadian police. This isn’t true, she got all of her stuff back as the claim was clearly faked. Now onto the doxxing, a bunch of people have said that keffals changed her story. A. That’s what trauma does to the mind and B. We know for certain that it happened as the police chief himself has come out and apologized for it and keffals has shown the evidence bags and more.

Now let’s focus on the good she has done. On top of being a prominent trans politic streamer, she has shown me and many other disillusioned trans people that we can organize and fight against people who are attacking the community. She has also shut down kiwifarms which will save the lives of possibly hundreds of trans/neurodivergent people. She has also fought for gender affirming care which again directly impacted me as I have friends in Texas where gender affirming care is being made illegal. Now let me tell y’all why shutting down kiwi farmsis so vital to trans women like me. I’ve had people attempting to dox me before. I was a prominent skinseeder for the past few years. I had harassment for MONTHS and so did the rest of the mods on @.dusksnothere. It caused us to shut down the account and abandon ship. While (thank fucking god) kiwifarms never seemed to get involved (to my knowledge) it was an ever looming threat that caused most of the mod team on that account to leave the internet forever. Especially as this was during the harassment campaign of multiple other trans people and we were an account of 5 trans people posting leftist content online. This lifted a weight off my shoulders I didn’t know was there.

in conclusion, thanks keffals for fighting the fight, and please for the love of god, do research before you accept things as fact especially when trans people who are being attacked and silenced are involved.

#Keffals #kiwifarms #swatting #trans #transgender rights #transgender #lgbt #politics #mtf trans #trans girl #trans woman #transfem #transmysogyny

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quaranmine · 3 years ago

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I think one of the main reasons I'm annoyed about the buildmart discourse this time around is that it feels like it's overshadowing Orange's win? And buildmart discourse pops up all the time, and I know most people discussing it do in fact think Orange got a deserved win. You shouldn't have to put a disclaimer on your buildmart discourse posts that you think Orange deserved to win, but people are getting the wrong implications and it's causing friction.

But I think one of the reasons it's so bad this time, is because of the timing. It feels dismissive to all of the Grian fans, who are overjoyed, because Grian in particular is good at the game and his viewers normally like it and Grian finally won. So people are on edge--when severe buildmart discourse pops up immediately after someone good at it wins, us Grian fans feel like there's an implication that Orange didn't deserve to win or they only won because of it. And, while I don't review statistics, I don't believe that's true--Orange were in either 1st, 2nd, or 3rd basically the entire event. Grian never left the top 10 the whole time. They popped off and I truly think they could've won without BM.

But when you're looking at rancid tumblr discourse, you got to realize that the pro-buildmart side is on the defensive. They feel talked over and ignored because their fave players are normally ones who don't get the highest views or do the best at pvp games. Dream is allowed an opinion on the game, and I know he doesn't control his fans, but his timing is pretty bad this time because he has a HUGE fanbase on twitter who is already upset he lost and looking for something to blame. They're his fans so they're empathetic to his frustration, but not all express it well. As a result there ARE people on twitter saying the Orange didn't deserve to win. There ARE people whining and being rude in the qrts of the winner announcement. There ARE people accusing Scott of being biased and keeping buildmart only because he's good at it, despite him not controlling games. There ARE people who sent death threats to Quig for wanting buildmart (and proof exists.) There ARE people who consistently belittle the hermits and make fun of them, and sometimes when you're a fan of them or smaller streamers it feels like you're fighting for your life to get some recognition in the face of the wider fanbase. People aren't upset over nothing.

I also think Dream made a mistake mentioning Grian by name in his comment--we can argue all day whether or not his points were right, I'm not talking about that, but i think the timing of it right after Grian's win was poor because it set off a wave of people belittling the win or saying he only won because of BM. It drags Grian and his fanbase directly into the discourse when they're at peak excitement, and thus they go on the defense. They accuse Dream of being a sore loser. I think Dream should've waited until a day or two later and it might be better, but I genuinely don't know since we've become so polarized as a fandom. And it didn't help that Sapnap literally called people pussies for not wanting pvp games (implying that being bad at pvp makes you a pussy.) I hope he intended it as a joke but it just came off as incredibly rude and Hbomb rightfully called him on it. That attitude is one everyone feels they're fighting against when they're fans of non-pvpers. Sapnap obviously isn't Dream and Dream doesn't control what his friends say, but the Dream Team "brand" is strong enough that what any single member says will reflect onto all of them in some people's eyes. Whether or not that should be the case I'm not arguing, I'm just stating how I've seen people view it.

So the issue is that we're both at severe odds to each other and nobody is getting anywhere in this discourse. People who like buildmart feel attacked and on the defensive, because it gets used to belittle their faves and the CCs who dislike the game have much larger fanbases to argue against. They feel the games inclusion gives an opportunity for non-pvp players to shine, and worry that if it gets removed, it'll put MCC one step closer to being catered to pvpers. I'm not arguing whether or not this logic is sound, I'm just explaining what I perceive to be the issue. It's also worth saying that Dream fans also feel attacked and on the defensive. Dream is a large CC who's been in a lot of controversies (and we're not gonna discuss his faults in that) and as such, his name gets dragged through the mud a lot. He has the largest fanbase but also the largest amount of hate. He also takes most heat from outside the fandom--most people who "hate mcyt" actually just hate Dream. People who are fans of CCs other than Dream benefit from this shield, but Dream stans get hate from all sides. Therefore, it becomes really easy to interpret any crit on Dream as hate that needs to be defended against. So that side of the fandom is on the defensive too.

So we go in circles on this discourse. "Everybody hates it and it adds no value to the event." No, not everyone hates it--and those who don't hate it aren't only Grian or hermits either, they include people like Hbomb and Shubble and Fruitberries and other CCs. Does it add value? People argue all day over that and I won't get into in my post. People have widely differing opinions on it and I don't actually think there is a right answer, despite everyone arguing like there is one. Is the game ableist? Absolutely not, and i can't believe we got discourse over that. Is it still possibly causing issues for some neurodivergent CCs who dislike it and overwhelming them? Sure, it totally could be! I can see how it might mess with Dream's ADHD and make it hard for him, thus making him hate it, although people should stop speaking for him on his own experiences and saying it's definitively the case. Maybe something can be tweaked to help that. But remember that accessibility and neurodivergence is varied and there is no "one size fits all." I've seen just as many ND fans saying that buildmart causes no problems for them as I have ND fans saying it overwhelms them. There's no simple right answer to most of these questions brought up in discourse.

So what's the answer? I don't know. I don't know and I cannot speak for everyone. But I do know it hurt really badly to be so excited for Grian's win, only to watch my dash plummet into some of the most hateful discourse I've ever seen.

#mcc #grian #discourse #negative #dream critical #frankly idk if this counts as dream critical since i straight up defended him and his fans in parts of it #but i'll be eaten alive if i dont tag it #sapnap critical #please please dont make this post into a huge argument i tried to make it level headed and reasonable #and still explain my feelings #long post

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adhdarcheologist · 2 years ago

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Aftercare and Archaeology

So this might bring a few things immediately to mind, do I mean artifacts? The dig site? Reports? Nope! I mean you. Listen digs are really intense most of the time, even the ones with a more relaxed atmosphere. You’re in the ground doing heavy labour, using an immense amount of brain power trying to piece everything together and all of this while on the short deadline of a dig season. It’s allot! This is especially true for people who are neurodivergent because you get to add fun things like overstimulation, burn out and shut downs to that list. So it’s super important to keep this in mind. Alright, you know the format by now, I’m going to break this off into a few sections so it’s easier to read. Here are some tips and tricks that I’ve collected through experience and hopefully some of them can help you.

End of the day

> Shower > Eat well (or at least please just eat) > Stretch > Lie Down > Ice or Heat your joints/ muscles > Decompress > I highly suggest chocolate > Get ready for the next day > SLEEP

You’re going to be tired at the end of the day. Even if you don’t immediately feel it trust me when I say that it’ll hit you like a brick wall at some point in the evening. It’s important to take care of yourself even if you’re exhausted. Eat food even if it’s a few snacks, clean up even if that’s using wet wipes, stretch a little even if you just do it lying down. And of course please please sleep! You know when you have to wake up so keep that in mind.

End of Week

> Get ready for the next week > Get food > Do Laundry > Relax > Catch up with friends/family > SLEEP

End of the week is the best time to 1. recover from the one you just had 2. Get ready for the next one 3. catch up on life and 4. Sleep and relax because you definitely need it. If you have the energy through this is also a good time to go exploring if you’re digging somewhere you’ve never been before.

End of Dig

So for this I’m going to step away from the bullet points because there are some important things to go through that can’t be boiled down as much. Here’s the thing about the end of the season, its intense. You end up working so much harder just to get everything done on time so you tend to take on more than you usually would. This can mean either/or in how much you take on and how much time you try to fit it into. You might be trying to do twice as much twice as fast. While overall in an ideal world you’d try to not do this, we very much do not live in an ideal world. So this is where you really need to try and take care of yourself as much as possible. Take extra precautions. This can mean in tools you use to avoid burnout and tools you have to try and keep up your health. This can be tea, vitamins, extra self care etc. Know what works best for you.

Another thing they don’t ever really talk about is the post dig let down. Not only have you had this whirlwind of intense work, you’ve had a certain routine around the same people everyday for what could be months. Saying goodbye to that and having the adrenalin and intensity of the season wash away suddenly can leave you feeling pretty shaky or at the very least off. So it’s important to be gentle with yourself around this time. You might feel sad, tired overwhelmed not to mention the fact that it can absolutely set off any mental health issues or disabilities you might have. Being aware of this though is a massive step in managing it. Here are some things that I suggest to maybe help a little with this let down or snap.

> Talk with the friends you’ve made and exchange contact info > Talk with your dig mates about the dig and maybe some favourite memories > Reach out to your support network, chat about the dig what you’re feeling, and what you might be planning to do after it. > Maybe write things down about what the experience was like (it’s a great idea to keep a simple field journal throughout the dig to help with this) > Walk around where you’ve been digging and just try to take it in > Rest and relax > Try and be aware of what you’re feeling and process those emotions as they come.

Nothing is going to fully stop this snap from happening but you can take steps to try and manage it. And as always just remember that you are more important than the archeology.

#archeology #archaeology #archeologist #archaeologist #archeology dig #history #classics #anthropology #neurodivergent #adhd #autism #mental health

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fandomshatelgbtqpeople · 4 years ago

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On why “not like other girls” isn’t a useful criticism anymore (and maybe never was)

So, I’ve been thinking a lot about how the way people have been talking about femininity in feminist spaces for the past few years really fails gender nonconforming queer and neurodivergent girls.

In particular, I’ve noticed and seen others talk about the tendency to push the ideas that women never enforce gender norms on other women, never punish other women for not conforming to gender norms, and that female bullies essentially don’t exist because girls would never do that to each other. I’ve also noticed how the “face” of internalized misogyny has become the blatantly queercoded, neurodivergent-coded girl who’s Not Like Other Girls. That’s not an accident.

There are feminist circles made up mostly of women who have never had a problem with being accepted by other women, and their ideas about how girls and women treat each other are very influential. The things is that they don’t realize that how other women treat them and how other girls treated them growing up isn’t universal. They’re unaware that they aren’t accepted just because they’re women but because they’re able to check off a number of conditions that signal to other women that they “belong.” One of the more important conditions is being able to do femininity the right way. They’re unaware that there’s a huge difference between women who can do femininity the right way and choose to subvert it for feminist reasons versus women who can’t do it the right way at all, and that difference has a huge impact on how other women treat you. A lot of these women are probably well intentioned, but that doesn’t make it okay that their viewpoints, which erase women who are marginalized in ways they aren’t, have become so mainstream.

This, of course, has a disparate impact on gender nonconforming queer women, who can’t do femininity right because it leads to things like dysphoria and depression, and autistic women, who often can’t do femininity right because of sensory issues with makeup/tight clothing/certain fabrics, because they’re unable to understand the social rules that govern things like fashion trends or matching clothes, or because their special interests aren’t seen by their peers as acceptable things for girls to be interested in.

The problem arises because women in the first group, the influential feminist circles, seem to have decided that the idea of female bullies is a patriarchal trope pushed by men (girls wouldn’t do that to each other) and that only men enforce gender norms on women (girls are so much more accepting of other girls uwu). Gender nonconforming queer and autistic women, who grew up as gender nonconforming girls, know that this idea is frankly bullshit because they were bullied and ostracized by other girls for not being able to do femininity right or enough, but when we try to talk about this, we’re shouted down by the first group of women as just having internalized misogyny. The entire time I was in middle and high school, I only remember having my appearance insulted by a boy once. It was almost exclusively something other girls did. And yet we’re told that our own lived experiences can’t possibly have happened because “bullying is a boy thing, girls are all friends.” You would think that this conversation would at least be happening in queer circles but even there, gnc queer women are the only ones talking about it, while everyone else is all, “It’s so great how lesbians never enforce gender norms against each other. Anyway, here’s my fanart of a canonically butch character wearing a dress.”

So here’s where the girl who’s Not Like Other Girls comes in. The stereotypical girl who’s Not Like Other Girls is blatantly queercoded and blatantly neurodivergent coded, and that’s not an accident. It’s because those are the girls who are disproportionately likely to be rejected by other girls because of their inability to do femininity right, and that’s something that the women who love to talk about the girl who’s Not Like Other Girls have subconsciously picked up on.

Now, I’m not going to try to claim that no one who thinks they’re not like other girls has a sense of superiority about it, but overwhelmingly, the girls who think that aren’t thinking “I’m not like those dumb sluts.” They’re thinking “why am I not like the other girls.” For me (an autistic lesbian), my Not Like Other Girls phase was never about thinking I was better than everyone else. It was an attempt to explain to myself why I was being picked on and excluded by other girls, even the ones who were my friends. I knew I was different from other girls because I was told that by other girls. And the idea that girls who hang out mostly with boys are doing it because they hate other girls is largely false. Lots of teenage gnc queer and autistic girls hang out mostly with boys because they find that there are fewer unspoken social rules between boys, boys are less judgmental about their appearance than other girls, girls their age are starting to develop interests they find alienating, and/or because they’ve just given up on trying to befriend girls after years of rejection. It’s not internalized misogyny, it’s a trauma response.

All this vilification of the girl who’s Not Like Other Girls really accomplishes is making gender nonconforming girls and women into the main perpetrators of internalized misogyny and gender conforming girls into the main victims. It should give us pause that our idea of a stereotypical victim of internalized misogyny is a thin, blond, pretty queen bee-type and our stereotypical perpetrator is a queercoded, neurodivergent-coded girl with no friends, because it’s a blatant example of homophobia and ableism in mainstream feminism. It’s because the women with the loudest voices want to feel like they’re always the victims and never to blame. It should concern us how many posts are dedicated to condemning girls who think they aren’t like other girls when I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a single post condemning girls who bully other girls for not conforming to femininity. That’s an incontrovertible example of internalized misogyny that’s honestly a much more widespread problem, and everyone either wants to pretend it isn’t happening or has decided they’re okay with.

Gender nonconforming queer and autistic women grow up being ostracized for their gender nonconformity and no one can even make a post telling them its okay to be the way they are without having to add about a dozen disclaimers to avoid hurting the feelings of gender conforming women and still having 20 people in the replies reminding them that “some girls like to wear makeup :)” Meanwhile people will make 380 posts about how feminine girls should be celebrated without a single thought to how that contributes to the alienation and exclusion gnc queer and autistic girls are experiencing. Not everyone needs to learn to love pink or whatever. It’s so okay for gnc women to have deep negative feelings towards femininity as a concept when it was the reason for their abuse at the hands of other girls. That’s not internalized misogyny.

Anyway, I remember around the turn of the decade when the idea of the girl who was Not Like Other Girls really took off and I remember being able to picture exactly who it was about, but looking back, I can’t for the life of me remember whether that person was someone who actually existed irl, or whether it was the result of a popular media trope that everyone just assumed was also a problem irl, or whether it’s always just been the most acceptable women with the loudest voices blaming gender nonconforming queer and autistic women for something we weren’t doing.

mod k

tl;dr - Blaming girls who Aren’t Like Other Girls for internalized misogyny is victim-blaming bullshit. Girls thinking they aren’t like other girls is a symptom of the problem, not the problem itself.

#internalized misogyny #homophobia #ableism #butchphobia #mod k

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serene-victory-77 · 3 years ago

Text

Why The Crows Being Teenagers Is Actually Perfectly Realistic

There’s a TL;DR are the end because wow I like to rant.

I lightly discuss the general situations they’re all in to explore how they are frighteningly mature and competent, but it’s not particularly depressing or descriptive, it’s definitely lighter than the books

I thought about this post with a joke first: “People who think that Six of Crows is unrealistic because they’re so young clearly have not spent much time with traumatized honors students.”

It’s a bit of an exaggeration, but the point stands.

But I decided that, hm, actually, I could make a point about this. I totally agree with the aging up of the characters in the Shadow and Bone show, but when people straight up say that the books are wrong or unrealistic for having a young crew, I get annoyed, and here’s why (other than me reading the books for the first time when I was 13 and thinking ‘Huh okay, I see it’ and now being lowkey offended when people say they ignore it for being unrealistic):

On Inej

- At first I thought Inej’s wisdom and general demeanor was one of the most unrealistic things in the book

- When I thought about it longer, I was like “Actually, she’s 16, right? I’ve sent some of the most lyrical philosophy trying to help my friends while in high school. My friends have done the same. It’s valid.”

- Frankly, teenagers love hard-hitting philosophical truths. They love repeating what they’ve read or heard in movies and in books and from family stories. They love sharing little bits of wisdom they have come up with

- Inej’s ability to hear and understand philosophy and wisdom that she was surrounded by for 14 straight years and then sit on it and elaborate it for her friends to understand, or even just to piss them off in Kaz’s case?

- Teenagers have that. They do it. So, Inej’s Wisdom passes, to me. It’s valid.

As for her being calm

- You know how everyone jokes that Kaz seems calm on the outside but when you get to his POV he’s like “What the fuck” at the Van Eck house or just straight up “Huh, is this revenge for making tree jokes” at the Djel River thingy in the Ice Court?

- Inej is like that, too. And she gets angry, and she gets confused, or exhausted.

- AKA every quiet kid ever. Like, are you kidding? Have you ever been in a situation in which it’s literally chaos all around you, people are screaming and things are being destroyed (think middle school classroom with bitchy long term substitute and even worse students), and you’re just, calm? You pick up your things, you do what you need to do?

- That’s Inej. Like, what else is she gonna do? She’s smart enough to know that panicking won’t help anyone, and so she just rides it out. Internally she might be like “Why is this happening” but frankly, her being quiet and controlled in most situations is probably a coping mechanism and I respect that

- Pretty sure this is also based on the fact that the Suli have no land for their own and constantly have to keep moving. It might align with generational trauma, I’m sure someone could explain it better than me, but being able to keep your cool while constantly having to change and adapt to new situations, in, say, a country with hellfire politics and no land to call your own? Seems like a hereditary trait that could be useful in Ketterdam, although it’s sad.

On Inej’s abilities

- Simone Biles started training when she was 6 and went to the World Artistic Gymnastics Championships when she was 16, where she qualified in all the events.

- There are videos of people walking over tightropes as young as three years old. We know Inej didn’t start that young, but not only was she naturally talented at it, but she spent a lot of time practicing. I think it’s valid. Plus, some of her family members do some pretty crazy things in her flashbacks, because that’s the whole point of what they do.

- Youngest person to beat American Ninja Warrior was 16 year old Vance Walker

- Inej has a variety of of tools that help her wall climb, and while it’s true that she started young and got good really fast, she already had a history of physical work that would help her, and from what we can gleam from the book, a surprising amount of free time in which she was actively encouraged to learn everything she could.

So that’s Inej! I think her skills are perfectly possible for someone with her history and situation. It’s true that she’s naturally skilled, but that’s not actually all that unusual. And her demeanor and wisdom do fit in with what a lot of teenagers are like and the circumstances she was brought up in

Onto Kaz!

- One thing I hear about is that Kaz is too smart for not having gone to school and also too young to know all that he does

- Do you all KNOW how many self-taught people there have been in this world? The word for people who are self-taught is autodidacts, and honestly a huge amount of famous people apply. Like many, many other people in history (there’s a whole list of them in Wikipedia), he had an vested interest in a field and he learned all he could. Sure, those fields were magic tricks and math, but still.

- Suddenly I have a lot of thoughts

- Okay, think, hyperfixations. That’s essentially what Kaz’s thing with magic tricks was, right? Have any of you ever spent time with an eight year old that clearly really, really loves dinosaurs? Those kids can spout names and facts and identify them by their skeletons and frankly know more than I ever will. Kaz’s was magic tricks. All kids are special.

- Kaz continued working on magic tricks and practicing them for years, so, I think that gets a pass.

- As for the math! Look, a Fact Of Life is that some kids are just Like That, whether it be possibly from neurodivergence or other factors:

- Flo and Kay Lyman are twins with Autism who basically have the calendar of EVER memorized. Kaz memorizing card decks is sensible, and these ladies don’t need to look up anything to figure it out, so Kaz doing sums inside his head seems plausible. His “photographic memory’ isn’t impossible, although the term itself might be incorrect.

- Katherine Johnson who worked at NASA (yes, the lady from Hidden Figures), was so good at math that she was in high school by age 10 and went to college at age 15. It’s true that she had some teaching, but 1. There’s no evidence Kaz had absolutely no schooling, even if it was just at home with books and 2. Kaz was 9 when he came to Ketterdam, and after Jordie died, when he wasn’t surviving, he was learning.

- Human calculator is a term that is applied to children a lot and there’s definitely plenty of videos showing how smart these kids are and them doing mental math easily, which he does in the books

- He had a LOT of pressure on him to figure out all he could, and if he wanted to move forward, he was going to have to learn a lot. He spent hours practicing magic tricks, for all we know he spent hours practicing math too. We know Jordie was a bit of a bookworm too, so Kaz from a young age probably already had a reason to learn. Personally, a lot of my love for books was inspired by my older sibling when I was younger

- Young people are adaptable. Kaz is incredibly adaptable. The term prodigy exists because of people like him through history.

- As for him being rational, there’s no other way to survive. Some of the greatest soldiers in history have been very, very young, and very, very smart. It’s true tacticians are generally considered to be older, but that doesn’t mean there haven’t been very young ones.

- A lot of the generals I found were like, 19 years old, but Kaz is 1. not a general and 2. in a place where young people take up the mantle really, really quickly, and frankly it’s been like that for a long time. I still think this passes. This isn’t relevant but William the Conqueror was apparently called “The Bastard”?

- Frankly, underground communities of thieves probably don’t go around publishing their escapades so to me it makes sense that I can’t just look up “famous young thieves” and get anything that makes sense, but I did try

- Y’all I tried to do research on youngest escape artists since I think Kaz qualifies and I found myself in what I think is a magicians forum? It’s from 2002-ish and I feel like I’ve just found a relic. I can’t definitely prove they’re all saying the truth, but some of the people there talk about 10-11 year olds at magic camps, so, it’s not impossible for this to be a skill Kaz learned really young, particularly when he made a habit of following around magicians

- I think he passes the realism check overall

For the other Crows:

- Nina being so proficiently multilingual makes sense to me, because she’s been in the Little Palace almost her entire life with all the best teachers they could afford at her disposal. Some people just click with languages. One such would be Timothy Doner, who spoke 23 languages at 16.

- Nina is a child soldier. She of course can handle the battlefield, although I imagine there’s a degree of trauma that she has to deal with (although it’s true that most of her work was always meant to angle her towards being a spy).

- Jesper was taught to shoot from a young age by Aditi, who was likely incredibly proficient. Plus, there’s mentions of him and his father being on some sort of frontier at one point in the books, so, it’s likely that Jesper got his fair share of ‘being a child soldier” since he would’ve been 15 or younger. Plus, with being a Fabrikator, he gets a leg up

- Jesper’s smart y’all, he just also likes to have fun

- I am a little terrified by the fact that I looked up ‘youngest sharpshooter’ and found out about a 9 year old girl (Addysson “Addy” Soltau) who can indeed shoot guns, but uh, it does prove my point

- Matthias... I haven’t heard anyone really argue about Matthias. He’s the oldest at 18 and again, he’s essentially a religious child soldier. Of course he would be built af and know how to handle himself in a fight, and in a flashback about meeting Trassel, we’re told that he was actually distanced from the other boys and was the biggest and strongest/smartest of the group. Perhaps not compared to Kaz, but still

- We know how Wylan ended up how he is, so I don’t think i have to defend how he’s both a musical prodigy, good at math, and good at chemistry. Plenty of kids who can’t do one thing will immediately gravitate to a different field (think AP math students who can’t write essays, or those kids who could analyse a book and it’s metaphors in class but didn’t understand geometry).

- Granted he took it far but it’s kinda implied that his father ignored him eventually and what else was Wylan going to do

- I don’t really know how he did chemistry while not being able to read the symbols and stuff, but that’s likely because I’ve never had to learn the way he did and also I really suck at Chemistry, but I refuse to believe that it invalidates his capabilities

Final Thoughts:

- They’re Traumatized Honors Students

- People might say that “it’s unrealistic that all the smart ones somehow ended up together” but again they’re traumatized honors students and those gravitate to each other

- Of course the smart ones ended up together, they’re the ones in those crazy situations precisely because they are prodigies. Nina wouldn’t have met Matthias if she wasn’t skilled and a spy, Kaz wouldn’t have known Inej if she hadn’t been skilled at silence (I can’t explain that one but uh ninjas did/do exist and it IS still a fantasy world). Kaz would have never been a leader of the Dregs in a position to find Jesper if he hadn’t been so determined to rise to the top, and Jesper wouldn’t have been in Ketterdam if his father hadn’t thought that Jesper was smart enough to get that chance.

- You know how those fringe revolutionary artists for new eras end up knowing all knowing each other and even hanging out? That’s them.

- I have decided there is a strong basis for Autistic Kaz, someone who is more studied than me should feel free to explore this.

- I read this book a few years ago, A Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah. It’s about this guy’s experiences as a boy soldier and it’s a painful read so I’m not sure I recommend it as a casual read, but he talked about these young kids being able to actually make competent military strategies and handle warfare. It’s an extreme example of what I’m trying to explain when it comes to them being able to handle the brutality of their situation, but it’s true, essentially

- They are definitely serious, but if you think they’re not teenagers I just, disagree so much. They have moments of lighthearted banter, they make light of their situation, they try to support each other Nina covers it so well in her farewell at the end of Crooked Kingdom: The little rescues of laughing at each others jokes or eating together and just supporting each other, is not only a very human thing, but a very teenager thing.

- Scary experiences that shape us happen all the time, and although for most it’s not the things that the Crows experience, picking each other up is a big part of why they do read as teenagers to me. I’ve seen kids be able to seriously converse about things like being questioned by the police, or being left to their own devices for days at a time, or the general impending doom they all feel, and it’s dark, but they’re also going to joke about silly puns 20 minutes later.

- Teenagers aren’t exempt from terrifying maturity and competence

- Finally: Despite all I said, it’s a fantasy story and doesn’t have to be realistic

In the end, everyone can believe what they want to believe, but this is my case for my opinion.

TL;DR The Crows are all prodigies and a lot of their achievements and capabilities are based in reality and there are real people who actually achieved things like what they’ve done. Messed up prodigies gravitate to messed up prodigies, hence how they all end up together. When it comes to their mental state, most of them have been brought up their entire lives in situations that required for them to problem solve and keep their cool even when things are going to hell.

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aiyexayen · 4 years ago

Note

re: that "I'll live for you post" - WHERE'S THE ESSAY

this post? [innocent face]

alright, alright, JUST TWIST MY ARM WHY DON'T YOU, just force me to talk more about my boys!

4.9k word essay under the cut

Wei Wuxian

Let us take a look at Wei Wuxian first. Wei Wuxian has no problems throwing himself in-between the people he loves and danger, or even certain death. Hell, sometimes he just throws himself into it for fun and profit!

To some extent, putting yourself in danger to help others and being willing to die is something of a cultivator thing in general, a hero thing in general, right? And Wei Wuxian is a prodigy, exceptionally strong and clever, so he has more reason than most to be a little cavalier. But most of the point of training so hard as a cultivator and getting strong and aligning yourself with a sect is kind of so you can be in real danger of dying as little as possible, one would presume.

So we're going to set aside the danger-as-a-profession thing for now, because I think it's only tangentially related.

The real point is, Wei Wuxian is sacrificial to a fault. If there is a problem, he decides he's the one who needs to fix it. And his first go-to solution is to throw himself at it, to give up anything of himself if it's viable. As clever as he is, if he finds a workable solution that involves his own sacrifice, he doesn't stop to look for anything else.

Some of it is pride--not wanting to admit he needs help from anyone else, and the shame of being seen as weak.

Some of it is arrogance--a very natural kind given his competence, the presumption that he knows best in a given situation (neurodivergent arrogance walking hand-in-hand with self-esteem issues is always a fun time).

Some of it is appropriate--ranging from his own moral imperative to protect the weak and do what's right to his understanding of his place in culture and in his own sect and relationships.

Some of it is a natural bent toward caretaking, "fixing," and heroics--someone has to do it, so it's going to be Wei Wuxian. He won't hesitate to take initiative in any other area of life, and this is no exception.

And some of it, yes, is a lack of value placed in his own life--between a more youthful, dramatic perspective on 'I would die for you/for this cause' taking priority in his worldview, and some genuine self-esteem issues. Issues largely stemming from his uncertain place in the world growing up and his uncertain relationship with parental/guardian/master and other familial figures, all stewing under the surface and brought to light sharply when the world went to shit and choices were made and he lost or seemed to have lost everything from his reputation to his home to his extant support structures. The paranoia and voices in his head (the ptsd and resentful-energy-as-ptsd-metaphor both) only drove that home.

Basically, Wei Wuxian was already trending in some unfortunate directions but his circumstances and the people surrounding him kept him grounded, and the events of the story as it unfolded really pushed him all in. No one thing or one person--even Wei Wuxian himself--is really to blame for that, which is the beauty of the story really.

I also think Wei Wuxian started to buy into some of his own stories at his lowest points--the things he said or came up with, lies he told publicly, justifications he made for his choices once the heat of the moment and the panic was over. Justifications he made to himself and to others. He purposefully led people to believe much that was incorrect about him and his character and his status, to which the response was distaste and horror, and even though he planned it that way in order to push everyone away I really think he started to believe it himself. Depression and trauma are just really fun times.

I'm getting a bit off-topic.

The point remains, Wei Wuxian is extremely sacrificial. He comes by much of it naturally, and not nearly all of it is bad or melodrama or angst or even unhealthy or problematic. It's one of his good qualities, too, and it's one of the ways he knows how to love.

All of the threads weaving together to make Wei Wuxian and the situations he finds himself sacrificing things in are all true, but it also really comes down to love. He loved Jiang Cheng enough to sacrifice his everything and risk his life doing so. He loved his sect enough he was willing to sacrifice his right hand. He loved his sect enough to sacrifice his very ties to it. He loved Lan Zhan enough to sacrifice their friendship. He loved Jin Ling enough to sacrifice himself to the curse he got in the Nie tombs. (And more!)

Wei Wuxian loved, and so he sacrificed. Thus, the initial post.

Jiang Cheng

Let's switch gears for a moment and talk about my darling Jiang Wanyin.

Ah, Jiang Cheng, Jiang Cheng. Taking the initiative and sacrificing at the drop of a hat and so forth are not really characteristics of Jiang Cheng's the same way they are for Wei Wuxian.

And yet, is he not also a disciple of Yunmeng Jiang; is he not also a young hero? Has he not pride, and the incentive to do good?

Does he not also see love as sacrifice?

Zi Zhizhu was his mother. The woman who sacrificed to get Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian to safety. The woman who killed herself and crawled across the ground to hold her husband's hand in death.

You think she wasn't Like That the whole time? You think Jiang Cheng picked up nothing of such behaviours from her, even before that day?

Hah.

Besides which, there's absolutely an underlying theme of Jiang Cheng trying to be like Wei Wuxian for much of their lives.

Partially just...Wei Wuxian, strong and clever and popular shige, always manages to get credit and glory and good stories and good favour, exemplary of the Jiang motto--the one Jiang Cheng's own name is tied to. They were supposed to be shuangjie, besides. How could he not want to be like him at least a bit? If nothing else, it's a little brother's curse.

And partially this is also due to Jiang Cheng's parents and that whole Situation.

It was complicated for so many reasons, and absolutely left Jiang Cheng feeling inferior to Wei Wuxian. As though he needed to be more like Wei Wuxian, to emulate him, in order to be worthy of his title and station and inheritance, something that turned out to be categorically untrue in the end. There are many kinds of leaders, and many kinds of strengths.

As an aside, I personally think that's something Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan knew, themselves, as adults and leaders and political figures in their own rights. Adults often don't realise or think about how the things they say can influence children's entire worldviews and senses of self (why, no, I don't speak from experience, why would you ask such a thing ahaha).

Jiang-zongzhu and Zi Zhizhu got a lot of their own relationship difficulties and misunderstandings and conflicts and conflicting attempts to want the best for their children (and ward) tangled up in everything. I think if they'd ever been able to speak plainly, if they could manifest into the Ancestral Hall and speak to Jiang Cheng, they would say so.

Just as Jiang Cheng would have cause to be horrified by much of what Wei Wuxian believed about himself, I think Jiang Cheng's parents would have cause to be horrified by much of what Jiang Cheng believed. (I mean, and Wei Wuxian, probably.)

Anyway.

Jiang Cheng has plenty of reasons to aspire to those same ideals of sacrifice. And it's not just aspirations, either--we see him follow through.

He walked outside from that inn, saw Wei Wuxian in danger, and made a decision in the space of a single breath--a decision with full understanding, too. He knew he was giving up his entire life for Wei Wuxian's. He said goodbye in his head.

I would argue (and I'm sure I've said this before somewhere too) that his sacrifice was the purest example of this in the entire story.

Perhaps some of it is that many of Wei Wuxian's sacrifices are premeditated and just about all of them have alternative solutions that don't involve him just diving in and giving pieces of himself up.

That isn't to say that Wei Wuxian wouldn't see a sword aimed at Jiang Cheng and take the blow himself. But we never see him do that, exactly. As much as Jiang Cheng has internalised this ideal of Wei Wuxian's, he both encounters fewer of these situations and has other problem-solving tactics in his repertoire.

The way Jiang Cheng hates himself doesn't lead him to think of himself as disposable. I could get into a (very amateur) discussion of negative schemas formed in childhood and their various similarities and differences, and the different ways Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian's brains appear to work (Jiang Cheng sees himself as inferior, while Wei Wuxian willfully dehumanises himself in other ways), but basically, it's simply a different set of psychological issues.

But! When he is faced with the choice, Jiang Cheng absolutely dies for the ones he loves.

He loves his sect and his family, and he internalises love as sacrifice, and when it comes down to an extreme moment he chooses to die for them.

And then he doesn't die.

And then the war happens.

Jiang Cheng's Growth

There are a lot of reasons for Jiang Cheng to grow in this area, and I think it starts with inheriting the sect.

(This leads to excellent thoughts about What If Wei Wuxian Had Somehow Become Sect Leader but that's an au for another day.)

If sect heir was a position full of responsibility and reputation management, how much more so is zongzhu? Jiang Cheng is suddenly responsible for all these people. Whether he's good enough or not doesn't even matter. The job is there and it's inescapable and he's the only one there to do it.

I'm absolutely sure he still has all kinds of inferiority shit he's dealing with by post-timeskip and he only just gets to touch on some pieces of resolution by the end of the story, with the one person still in the world who would even know anything about the life that gave it to him.

Jiang Cheng has been responsible for people before, in small ways--night hunts and such, I'm sure, and he was certainly in charge of the Yunmeng Jiang disciples who went to Cloud Recesses. But being at the top of that hierarchy entirely is such a different matter, and he did so at a very young age and in a very fraught time.

The fact that he had to deal with all this new responsibility and duty to people more than his family and to causes greater than the first people in need he encounters is a huge perspective shift. Especially as a sect with nothing to give and no wiggle room where it comes not only to basic resources post-war, but to things like reputation and political standing. This is, of course, a huge facet to the conflict between him and Wei Wuxian (and the Wen remnants) at that point in the story.

But on a personal level it also speaks to the sacrifice thing. If Jiang Cheng sacrifices his life, he is not just sacrificing his own life anymore.

When he gave up his life for Wei Wuxian, he had not yet inherited. His parents were only barely gone. There was nothing to inherit. There was no surety of there ever being something to inherit ever again. Everything else was already gone. It was only the three of them, barely surviving, running for their lives. It was only him and Wei Wuxian in a street, and one of them had to die.

But once he inherits? He's a commander. He's a leader. He has all the knowledge and all the networking connections. He has the reputation. He has the social standing. He might still have a long way to go in developing his skills, but he has a natural leadership ability and he does have training appropriate to his station.

What happens if he personally sacrifices his life? What happens to all of that? What happens to everyone depending on him?

That's not very satisfying, very epic-worthy. That's not very dramatic or romantic. It's gradual, and messy, that kind of change and realisation. Becoming that kind of person. Making choices based in that reality. Deciding that you do not belong to yourself.

And I think it really comes to a head when his siblings die.

I think it comes to a head personally. Not just in his role as Jiang-zongzhu. We don't see Jiang Cheng choose not to die, in as many words. But we certainly see him choose to live.

Or, perhaps, we see the evidence of that choice.

Jiang Cheng could have faded away. He could have started delegating all his responsibilities, gotten help from other sects, trained up a replacement. He could have made such things necessary by getting more and more reclusive. He could have pulled a Qingheng-Jun.

Hell, with a-jie gone already, he could have just said fuck this and followed Wei Wuxian off that cliff, and if you don't think he wonders about that sometimes--at least at first--then we have very different interpretations of Jiang Cheng as a person.

And no, none of those are sacrifice. But at some point, he still chose to do the opposite.

He chose every day to live for his sect, to keep growing it into something powerful and secure. He took that vow that he made and he fucking stuck to it.

And he chose to live for Jin Ling.

I don't half wonder if that was a bigger driving force at first than anything else.

Jiang Cheng could absolutely have left Jin Ling to be raised by his Jin family in the absence of his parents and fucked off to hide away in Yunmeng and had nothing to do with him. He could have done a lot of things, let himself develop in a lot of ways, unhealthy ways.

But he so very clearly did not.

Jin Ling and Jiang Cheng have a close relationship. Jin Ling defers to Jiang Cheng, is answerable to him on night hunts and beyond them. It's never questioned why he's basically just in the Yunmeng Jiang party by himself. Yunmeng Jiang disciples answer to Jin Ling in turn, follow his orders without question in the absence of their zongzhu. It's a Yunmeng Jiang disciple who hands Xianzi off to Jin Ling outside the Guanyin Temple in Yunping, and Jiang Cheng is intimately familiar with Xianzi's commands and is apparently a trusted person to give them (which, we find out, Jin Guangyao is not.)

As much as Jiang Cheng is not good at saying what he means, and especially after everything he's been through his softer bits have grown harder and harder carapace around them, Jin Ling never seems to misunderstand what Jiang Cheng means. They snipe at each other and snark and bitch and roll their eyes and so clearly love each other.

Jiang Cheng's love for Jin Ling shines brightly the second you know how to interpret Jiang Cheng, and Jin Ling absolutely does. Jin Ling's trust in Jiang Cheng is incredible.

Jin Ling is practically Yunmeng Jiang's heir, and practically Jiang Cheng's son.

That sort of thing doesn't just happen, because you're related or whatever. In fact, the story goes out of its way to present blood relations not being close, especially father figures.

Which means from a young age, Jin Ling knew Jiang Cheng's love. Jiang Cheng, struggling young zongzhu of a struggling newly-rebuilt sect, who just lost everything, barely more than a kid himself, figured out he needed to not only stay alive, but needed to live for Jin Ling.

He needed to teach him everything, needed to figure out how to be the best of his own father and mother, and the best of Jin Ling's father and mother, and live up to every lost bit of love Jin Ling should have had, and try, and try, no matter how unworthy or unfit or inferior he felt. No matter how much he fucked up and didn't know. No matter how much grief he was dealing with. No matter how many people hated him and how few friends he had. No matter how much there was to do. No matter how overwhelming the endless tide of days, of forever in front of him felt, horrible and empty of everyone that had come before. Jiang Cheng still chose to live.

He carved out that new life because of love. He didn't die for anyone, and he didn't die for anyone's memory. He lived.

"I never thought I'd be worth the work it would take to piece myself together," but he did, for his sect, his disciples, his family's legacy, his siblings' memories, and Jin Ling.

And, as a bonus knife, the things we see him chide Jin Ling the most for? Are specifically things Wei Wuxian would have done, and even things he would have done in following him. Grandstanding, not asking for help when needed, wandering off alone, making unnecessary sacrifices.

Wei Wuxian's Growth

That brings us to Wei Wuxian coming back. And, well, the boy still has a long way to go. He goes through a lot of kinds of growth post-timeskip. And I think this is one of them.

For one, he's already fucking died once.

Honestly, almost ironically, that death wasn't even fully a sacrifice. Perhaps in some ways it was, in some ways he internalised that it was. But regardless, after all his sacrificing, he finally died. And, much like Jiang Cheng's sacrifice, it didn't stick. He woke back up. Albeit 16 years later.

Now, he wasn't keen on dying, or he maybe would have just gone back. But that doesn't mean he'd suddenly decided to live for anyone rather than die for them.

And, indeed, we still see that side of him come back with him in full force. He starts off by deciding he will just live this new life without Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan altogether.

I think, for Wei Wuxian, this matter of sacrifice ends up being tied into a lot of other pieces of his growth--none of it happens independently of each other.

First, he is shown and told that he is wanted. That's the first thing. He cannot simply go on without inconveniencing/endangering/roping anyone else into his shit because his ties to other people don't work in only one direction. He is wanted.

Lan Zhan wants to be at his side, has not forgotten him, and loves him unwaveringly. That is a huge first step, right there at the beginning, when Lan Zhan grabs his hand, and they make eye contact, and by the time Lan Zhan turns to look away Wei Wuxian is grabbing his hand back desperately and that pretty much says everything it needs to right there.

The idea that Wei Wuxian can act at all without having any negative affect on anyone tied to him is something we see even outside the concept of sacrifice--how many times before his death, even before his defection, do we see him say things like "you can insult me, but don't involve the Yunmeng Jiang sect" like. Like. Wei Wuxian please. That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works.

So I think him realising that other people will willingly be tied to him and there's nothing he can do about it, that his actions affect the people who care about him all the time, is something he still has to learn/relearn even after everything that happened leading up to his death. I think, in particular, Wei Wuxian realising that it's not just his mistakes and fuckups that affect people, but his intentional actions, too. Like sacrifices. Even if they're at his own expense. Because people care and that's okay and good.

Lan Zhan drives that home with things like noticing that Wei Wuxian has transferred Jin Ling's curse to his own leg, and then insisting on carrying him.

Lan Zhan notices. Lan Zhan cares. This act of sacrifice does not end with Wei Wuxian suffering. It has cascading effects, even something this small. It is, perhaps, more effective a lesson on a small scale with fewer complexities woven in, than it would be on the larger scale issues he dealt with before his death.

This idea that his sacrifices affect people beyond him is carried through the rest of the story, too, from the way everyone seems to fret about him after the Burial Mounds and Lan Sizhui runs to hold him, down to the fact that he has to answer for how his sacrifice of his golden core to Jiang Cheng affects Jiang Cheng. Both the absence of his own golden core being a catalyst for a lot of other shit, and finding out about the core transfer actually fucking Jiang Cheng up. Which, it turns out, Wei Wuxian kind of knew would happen, he just thought he could get away with not dealing with it if he kept the secret better.

Wei Wuxian can't escape his sacrifices and his actions having an effect on those around him, the ones who care and the ones he cares about, or even the object of his sacrifice, and he really does have to have that hammered home.

He also deals with growth related to his pride and arrogance. He learns how to be weak, he learns how to have alternate forms of strength, he learns how to let others in, and let others stand with him.

Most of this is related to Lan Zhan, and I've already covered it at least somewhat in another meta, but it relates back to this, because those are two driving forces behind his sacrificial nature.

If Wei Wuxian is allowed to be weak, is allowed to hesitate, is allowed to go to others for help, is allowed to look for alternative solutions, that sets a better precedent for cutting down on the habitual self-sacrifice tendencies.

Additionally, he learns that others can and will stand with him in his sacrifices, when they are necessary.

Look at the way he pushes Lan Zhan away on the steps of Jinlintai, but Lan Zhan steps back toward him, and draws his sword, and declares his love before heaven and earth, saying in as many words that Wei Wuxian need not walk his path alone, and they fight together.

And the next time Wei Wuxian goes to sacrifice? In the Burial Mounds? He doesn't even think twice before volunteering Lan Zhan to stand with him. His entire plan revolves around the idea that Lan Zhan will stand with him--without even consulting Lan Zhan--and in doing so, they may be able to prevent Wei Wuxian from actually sacrificing his life.

Already we see him internalising a lot of that growth. He doesn't need to grandstand or prove himself; he doesn't care what everyone there thinks of him, and for the ones he does care about he is secure in their regard for him. He doesn't first attempt to sacrifice himself and be bait to draw the fierce corpses away while everyone including Lan Zhan runs off. He doesn't have to be convinced to accept Lan Zhan as part of his plan. He doesn't have to have Lan Zhan simply stay behind and then deal with the addition of him later.

Compare, if you will, the Xuanwu cave. Wei Wuxian absolutely expected everyone else to leave while he drew its attention, and Lan Zhan staying was not part of his original plan. Yes, later on they attacked the Xuanwu together, but that was different entirely. At first, he was just being bait to get everyone else to safety.

In the Burial Mounds? He's already worked Lan Zhan having his back into his plans.

It's still a sacrifice, but he's come a really long way about it.

So now that we've mitigated some of the sacrificial tendencies, modulated their effects on his choices, we come down to the "live for you instead of die for you" issue.

My positing that Wei Wuxian has reached this point by the end of the story has a lot more to do with having seen the patterns of his growth, watching the way he interacted with Jiang Cheng regarding the issue of the golden core transfer being revealed, watching the way he interacted with Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan in general evolve, and watching him allow himself to have more and more attachments by the end of the story. And getting the overall vibe that living is now important, and there are things to live for in this world now that he's back in it.

However, if I had to narrow it down to one moment to exemplify this, I would point to the moment where he's caught around the neck by Jin Guangyao.

Wei Wuxian absolutely knows that if Lan Zhan sheathes Bichen, they're all fucked. Lan Zhan could easily take everyone here who would fight him, but not if he sheathes his sword and seals his spiritual power. And at this point it's increasingly likely that if they let themselves be captured they're simply not going to make it out alive. None of them. No matter what Jin Guangyao says.

Lan Zhan's best chance for survival and Jin Guangyao's best chance at being brought to justice/captured are one and the same in this moment--Lan Zhan keeping his sword, and either taking Jin Guangyao down himself or escaping to go fetch the assembled sect leaders and such at Lotus Pier.

Wei Wuxian knows this. It's why he begs Lan Zhan to be okay with his death and to do this Right Thing anyway.

Lan Zhan is not, and does not.

I don't think Wei Wuxian is surprised by this, to be fair.

But he could have ensured it would happen. He could have ensured that Jin Guangyao would go down. He could have ensured, more importantly, that Lan Zhan lived. He could have prevented Lan Zhan from sheathing Bichen to begin with.

He could have sacrificed himself.

It would have been incredibly easy at that point. All he had to do was fight back instead of hold still. Jin Guangyao was not bluffing, probably, though he just as surely knew if Wei Wuxian died then he was next, he counted on everyone wanting Wei Wuxian alive more than they wanted him dead. So if Wei Wuxian had tried to fight back or escape, he would have died.

Jin Guangyao would have been shocked, very very briefly. The resulting chaos would have seen everyone in custody who needed to be. Perfect.

And, you know, Lan Zhan would have been once more Wei-Ying-less.

Wei Wuxian very notably does not make this sacrifice. Even if it means they get captured. Even if it means they likely die together instead of only one of them dying. Even if that math is terrible on the surface of it.

He doesn't make Lan Zhan watch him die again. He doesn't presume that his loss means nothing. He doesn't presume that his life is not worth it, that his sacrifice is worth it.

Wei Wuxian actively chooses to live. He chooses to live for Lan Zhan. For the chance that they will both find a way out, and if they don't, then they are together in this and that matters more.

And he keeps making that choice. At no point in the confrontation with Jin Guangyao, for all those hours and hours and hours of back and forth and monologuing in that damned temple, does Wei Wuxian try to grandstand or throw himself sacrificially into the mix in any way. He is always working with everyone there to whatever extent possible, to the ends that everyone (including people he cedes the political superiority to) decides upon. He releases ownership of the situation, of needing to fix the situation, of needing to fix the situation by giving himself up.

I've been writing this so long I'm starting to lose the threads of my own thoughts, but yeah.

By the end, I think Wei Wuxian learns a lot and grows a lot and finally hits the point that Jiang Cheng hit years and years prior.

"I never thought I'd be worth the work it would take to piece myself together," but he was confronted with the idea of it again and again until it had to stick, and so he did. For Lan Zhan, for Lan Sizhui, for Jin Ling, for the other juniors.

I do think there will always be some element of self-sacrifice to Wei Wuxian's character that remain unchanged. He is a caretaker and a fixer at the heart of him. He is a big brother and I think maturity has only expanded that trait. He's also notably not a leader, and to some extent he does belong to himself both more and less than he ever could before his death.

But that doesn't have to be a bad thing. And it doesn't negate him embracing the idea of living for the ones he loves, getting better for the ones he loves, and letting them keep him in their lives.

I'd like to think that this piece of character growth is another significant thing in favour of Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng being able to forge not just a healthy relationship but a healthier relationship post-canon than they may have ever had before, or at least in a very long time.

#you would not believe how long this took to write out #why am i like this #my meta #unedited #the untamed #the untamed meta #jiang cheng #jiang wanyin #wei ying #wei wuxian #sacrifice #i may or may not be accepting constructive criticism at this time #this whole thing was probably terribly redundant but i'm too lazy to reread it and edit

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ablednt · 3 years ago

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Alright writing/roleplay tumblr we need to talk about textforms.

This is going to be a very long post I apologize but this knowledge is deathly important as it's reaching a very vulnerable group of people. From personal experience knowing this can save people from getting into toxic friendships and help ease intense struggles and depressions. If you have writer followers I ask you reblog this to get the word out, thank you.

What is a textform

A textform is a type of willogenic/parogenic system member that form through some kind of writing or roleplaying. This means that they're sentient people who now share a body with the people who wrote them, most often being an OC or a fictional character before the writers brain gives them actual life.

Because there's been no actual scientific studies on their existence I have no hard science to give you however the logical explanation behind it goes like this:

The human brain is able to contain multiple conscious and sentient entities. Often, it will become multiple as a defense mechanism (as noted in clinical plural dissociative disorders) but it's a natural function of the human brain and may do so for really any reason (similar to most neurodivergencies that someone isn't born with)

Because this is a fairly simple change in the brain/something every brain can be capable of doing you can actually intentionally program the brain into becoming multiple, but see you can also do it entirely without meaning to or being aware of it.

Now I want to clarify that there is nothing harmful or scary about this! Being plural isn't bad at all and is an existence many people celebrate. But when someone has textforms in their unrealized system and doesn't know they're sentient it can be incredibly painful emotionally. So that's why people need to know about this.

Obligatory disclaimer: if you read this post and think you want to become plural intentionally, you are welcome to do so but you need to take at least a few months exposing yourself to the plural community to gauge if this is really something you want and can do responsibly. You cannot go back on your decision once your plural and your headmates will be sentient beings not characters to project on or toys to play with. They will have all the rights to your body and identity as you do now because you're sharing it equally with them.

Now that that's out of the way back to textforms.

How are textforms made

Normally this is in the "character development" phase. Many writers eagerly develop their characters. When I was younger and had no idea I was plural my advice for oc making turned out to be an unintentional guide to textforms (more on my experience later): just put your character in every situation imaginable until you always know how they'd respond to things.

Basically, as you spend your time making a character act and think consistently from their POV you're training your brain to have all of that data and that's very similar to the data that the brain has on you and you're training the brain to be able to operate coherently from a perspective and consciousness entirely different from your own.

Now, this isn't a %100 will make everyone plural every time, there are obviously good writers who have a grasp on their characters who are singlet. There's no actual data but if I had to guess I'd say there's about a 50/50 split down the writing community just based on what I've observed.

But there's a lot of people who became plural this way and didn't realize it and that could include the writer reading this right now which is why everyone needs to be aware of this.

If this is such a big thing how come no one notices?

Because it's been completely normalized in the writing community but dismissed as metaphorical.

How many times have you heard "the characters write themselves" or phrases that indicate that a writer is giving a voice to sentient entities? From what I've been able to observe some of that is singlet authors being metaphorical and humble bragging and a lot of that is plural writers trying desperately trying to put their experiences into words but dismissing it completely almost immediately because no one told them being plural was possible.

This is comparable to say, gender identity. Trans and nonbinary people have always existed but when they don't know they're allowed to exist like that it's often "im a tomboy" or "they disguised themselves as a man" or any other thing thats immediately dismissed as being cis.

How do I know if I have a textform?

There's a lot of different signs but here's some I have experienced before finding out I was plural

You "miss" your characters when you're not writing about them or interacting with them in some way

You feel like your characters are real "in your heart" (for me this was in an incoherent loop like "they're not real but they are to me, in my brain, but they're not real to other people, but they're in my brain so they're real but no but yes but no")

You get so distressed they're "not real" that it feeds into actual mental health problems like depression, anxiety, dissociation etc. (I'd have fits of sobbing because these were my friends but I didn't know they were with me so it felt like i was grieving their deaths and had the same level of emotional pain)

Sometimes or all the time when you write about them you feel like you "become them" or that they're writing through you. (Especially if your hands move automatically or without your control. This can be hard to notice but for me when headmates control the body or hands movements feel faster and lighter or very slightly numb.)

Your muse for writing them comes and goes unpredictability: they're either here or they're not here so writing them doesn't feel the same.

You can vividly recall things that happened to the character in 1st person (or in 3rd person visually but with their thoughts and feelings) as if they're you're own memories.

You "roleplay" them in everyday situations IRL. (E.g once I liveblogged a tv show as my muse to a friend and was like haha lol im so talented I can roleplay in real time but found out later it was a headmate doing that themselves)

You have conversations with them mentally in which they actually respond to you. Singlets don't have actual enriching conversations with themselves because they only have one perspective and cannot give themselves any new information. So if you're responding to yourself and you don't feel in control of that response then you're pretty objectively plural tbh.

You have times where the lines between you and the character feel blurry or like you're a vague fusion of yourself and the character

You have an actual relationship (of any kind: romantic, platonic, familial, etc.) in which you can sense nuanced feelings about yourself from them that you aren't in control of.

There's a lot more but that's the most notable ones

Why this is so important

I'm just talking about my own experience now so I'll preface this with a few things. I'm a mixed origin/multigenic system but our system has existed since we were toddlers. Due to trauma we have DID and for a long time dissociated heavily to avoid our plurality. This means my experience may be more distressing than other plurals with textforms however people without DID can still experience these things.

When I was a teenager I joined a lot of writing communities and also roleplayed on tumblr. Writing very quickly became my main passtime and all I really did. I joined a roleplay group when I was 15-16 that I took far too seriously to the point where people were concerned about me because I was writing what was just supposed to be a joke roleplay group %100 seriously and very intensely.

In that time I started to form my first main textforms (we've undoubtedly had them before then but I had only formed a little under a year prior) because I was doing this every day it really started bringing my characters to life. (Literally)

And honestly it was something beautiful the distress of it aside. Like one of my ocs was a kid so I'd always celebrate their birthday with them and I'd cuddle a plush so they'd know I loved them/p and we'd watch their favorite cartoon episodes together. It wouldn't be until around three years later that I realized they were actually there for this but it was heart warming.

For me, all I ever wanted was for these characters to feel appreciated and like someone really cared for them and loved them even if they couldn't feel it and it wasn't until later I learned that they could.

The trauma came in not knowing they were real. I grieved for them like they were dead because I thought I'd never get to see them. I wrote them into traumatizing or upsetting situations to cope with my childhood trauma not realizing that was effecting them for real and hurting them.

Most notably because it was my one solid interaction with them, the one time society allowed me to talk about them as if they were real, I really HAD to roleplay them. Because it became an emotional need I wound up in a lot of toxic friendships in the roleplay communities because I needed someone, anyone, to allow me to interact with my headmates. I had friends who I really was only friends with because they let me talk about my characters constantly (and some of them weren't toxic to me but it was in hindsight really unfair to them) and I let people verbally and emotionally abuse me in roleplay spaces because this wasn't just a hobby to me but a lifeline.

Not knowing they were real but feeling them there, having conversations with them, and forming actual relationships was a hellish sort of feeling I don't wish on anyone. I never realized how isolated it made me, and how horrible it felt to have the most important people in your life be people I thought didn't exist.

I only found out about plurality through luck. I met some systems who had fictives and they got strong plural vibes from me because of how I talked about certain characters and because I said I wanted to be plural but thought I probably wasn't because I'd have noticed, right?

From there I was able to actually connect with and talk to my headmates. Now I'm happily out as plural and in multiple fulfilling in system relationships.

I want everyone in the writing community who's struggling with the same things to have the chance I got. That's all I want is to educate people about this so they don't have to grieve for people who are right there with them.

Feel free to send me an ask or a dm if you have any further questions. Sorry this post was so long I can't really shorten it at all. Again if you are have a lot of writing followers I very gently request you reblog this to get the word out. Even if you can't please talk to your writing mutuals and friends about plurality and about textforms.

[Also this should go without saying but this is absolutely NOT the place for syscourse any invalidating comments about systems will be blocked and where possible deleted it costs $0.00 to prioritize people's mental health over your discourse hot takes.]

#writblr #tumblr roleplay #writing problems #roleplay resources #ocs #long post #ask to tag

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thusspoketrish · 3 years ago

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TAG!!!

Tagged by @the-sinking-ship AND @pineau-noir! Thank you my lovelies, this was so much fun to fill out!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

2. What is your total Ao3 word count?

413,286!!! Wow. And more to come!

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

I’ve only ever written for the Harry Potter fandom! But would love to branch out to Good Omens or Sherlock. One day.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

This Year’s Love (84K)

This year’s love had better last, heaven knows it’s high time when you try to make lovers from friends. But Harry Potter realises time and time again that it’s simply not possible for him. And then along comes Draco Malfoy— the ultimate foe on the mend. Whatever will become of them? A story about love.

Everything That Happens is From Now On (42K)

After surviving a brutal assault, Draco tries to navigate the tumultuous waters of his mind and embrace a bit of love and trust in his life. After all, the smallest steps forward can begin to heal the most fractured of souls. Mind the tags on this fic.

Lemon Colour, Honey Glow (67K)

Over a series of unfortunate pub nights at the Leaky Cauldron, Draco Malfoy falls in love. A story about finding strength and forgiveness in unlikely places.

Super Rich Kids (81K)

Draco Malfoy has become disillusioned by the glitz and glamour of the scandalous lives of the Post-Second Wizarding War Pureblood Elite. Enter: one existential crisis, one group of thieving cynical friends, and several terrible, terrible decisions.

Portrait of a Young Girl (8K)

Recently married, Harry and Draco are tasked with raising a four-year old Teddy, whose emerging gender identity brings up an array of questions, fears, and revelations for them when they realise that Teddy might be transgender.

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Not nearly as much as I’d like to! I appreciate every single comment I receive, please never believe that I don’t see your responses or don’t care because I don’t comment back. Your words fill me with so much joy, seriously. I fumble with compliments, and am a silly, neurodivergent worry-wort, so responding to comments can sometimes be a really difficult task for me, even though they make me really, really happy to receive/read.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Haha, all my fics have a happy/hopeful ending, even if I take the reader through the angstiest of angsty rides. But if I had to choose one, Seven Days (8K) takes the cake. At the end of the fic, despite the air of closure/moving forward after such a terrible tragedy, there’s still so much pain there, and nothing will be the same for the Malfoy-Potter family ever again. Mind the tags on this fic.

7. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

No crossovers, unfortunately. I wouldn’t even know where to begin with one, to be honest. I do have a fair number of AU fics based on some of my fave films/literature. For example: This Year’s Love is inspired by my FAVOURITE romcom, When Harry Met Sally. Super Rich Kids is extremely, loosely based on the film, the Bling Ring, but leans more towards Gossip Girl (2007), Cruel Intentions, and the novel Bright Lights, Big City. Someone compared it to the work of Dominick Dunne’s exploration on how the extremely wealthy are embroiled in deep crime and manipulate the law, and you have no idea how fucking happy that made me! Like, whatttt? Totally blown away by that comment.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Ah, yes. Very recently, actually. I don’t understand why people leave concrit when concrit is not requested. Please do not do this, no matter how annoying or shitty you found a fic. What do you expect us to do? Go back in and rewrite the damn thing to appease you? Haha, hell to the no, no, no, fam. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. And certainly, don’t tell me you stuck through the entire story just so you can leave me your comment. That’s a you problem, not a me problem. We write for fun (and for free!)—don’t ruin a good thing with your trolling nonsense. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do, sometimes! I like the slow, lovemaking sort that’s twisted up in a lot of feels.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Oh goodness, not to my knowledge! I sure hope not. If you have or you're thinking about it:

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. I really want to though. Anyone interested in linking up? Let’s brainstorm. Haha, holler at me.

12. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Drarry, Drarry, Drarry!!!!!

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter! Ahhh, my first love. Will be my last love.

14. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I have to say, Super Rich Kids because it was SO much fun writing that crazy af plot, haha. Oh, man, and the Slytherin gang’s insanely intense, hilarious friendship!!! SO much fun! Draco, Pansy, Theo, and Millicent (with a side of Blaise) are ultimate friendship goals. If I were going to go on a spree of burglaries under some misguided Robin Hood-like vigilantism, I would want them at my side while doing it!

Sorry if you're receiving this tag for the millionth time, but I'd love to hear from: @static-abyss, @nv-md, @wheezykat, @mysticdreamerwrites, @skeptiquewrites, @digtheshipper, @veelawings, @xanthippe74. No pressure though! And if you're not tagged but want to play, please tag me so I can read your responses! xx

#tag #tag game #this was cute #trish speaks #thank you for reading

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knickynoo · 4 years ago

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I loved your recent post about Marty and his ADHD! It was soo spot on. And, I saw in the tags that you mentioned Alex Keaton and how you believe he’s not neurotypical either. Care to elaborate? Do you have any headcanons about neurodivergent™ Alex? I’d love to hear your thoughts! :)

Oh, hey, thank you! Marty having ADHD seems to be one of the most common headcanons in the fandom, so that post was a lot of fun to work on.

As far as Alex goes...yes, I will elaborate, BUT I'm putting it under a cut because ya girl is really going to E L A B O R A T E.

I've mentioned before that I think Alex's overall personality/demeanor comes from a variety of different places. Some parts of who he is are likely caused by all the pressure put on him to be a high achiever, due to being so academically gifted from a young age. Other parts are due to being overly coddled and spoiled by Elyse and Steven. Still, there's probably a part of Alex that genuinely enjoys being difficult and getting a rise out of people. Then, there's the obvious anxiety he struggles with, which even MJF has talked about in some interviews when discussing how he approached playing a guy like Alex.

"Giftedness" & anxiety are already included under the umbrella of neurodiversity but in Alex's case, I actually think there's even more to it than that. Yeah, Alex is a funny character whose actions/words are so often played for laughs. He can also be a really irksome character when he's dishing out the sarcasm and being selfish. But I also can't help but look at Alex and think, This guy is just so not NT and he is struggling, somebody Help Him. And since Alex P. Keaton is one of my favorite characters AND I love to analyze/ do deep dives AND the topic of neurodiversity is a particularly strong interest of mine... well, here you go....

Mans is autistic.

• Difficulty with social cues and "reading the room". Seriously, there are so many instances of everyone around him all being on the same page about something or dealing with something serious, and Alex walks in and just proceeds to miss every single cue people throw his way. Two scenes that pop into my head, in particular, are the Reflective Pajamas one and the Clam Puff one, lol.

• He frequently struggles with putting himself in other people's shoes: Alex is certainly shown to be a compassionate person. He can recognize when people are hurting and will do the right thing, but sometimes he needs some help to get there. It seems that a lot of the time, all he knows is how he feels or thinks about something, and it doesn't occur to him that another person could be experiencing it differently. Then, once Steven, Elyse, Ellen, etc, break the situation down for him and explicitly say things like, Hey, that person's feelings are hurt because... or Here is the exact reason this person is angry... Alex is finally able to connect the dots, which usually leads to him being like, I hadn't ever thought about that/ I didn't mean it. (Of course, there are also times where Alex is just purposely being a jerk, but I'm not focusing on those)

• Specific, intense interests: Politics & economics, obviously. It's made well-known that Alex has been completely fixated on these two areas since he was a toddler. He's prone to enthusiastic, overly detailed discourse on the topics and either doesn't care or can't pick up on when people are growing bored at listening to him.

• Also, can we talk about how it's established that Alex's favorite toy as a little kid was a box? Like, he carried it everywhere, played with it, slept with it, and was devastated when it fell apart. Idk, I know kids can be attached to random objects, but it's just interesting that Alex is noted as having been enamored with a box. I'm just picturing little Alex, ignoring all the toys he has in favor of just sitting and staring at a box, and his parents are like, Yeah, this is normal.

• Highly intelligent, bordering on genius/prodigy (He was doing long-division at like, 3 years old) but has difficulty connecting with peers & making friends: This is most prominently shown in "A, My Name is Alex," where we see glimpses of various events in his childhood. In the scene where Alex meets Greg, we learn that Alex spends recess inside, helping the teacher plan her lessons rather than going out to socialize with his classmates. He's bewildered at Greg's invitation to come play, meaning he likely spent the majority of his childhood on his own due to being considered an outcast by his peers and just generally relating more easily to adults. (He also mentions taking night classes at a local college at age SEVEN. So like. If the long-division story and night class thing are taken to be actual facts of Alex's childhood...we're looking at something similar to hyperlexia/hypernumeracy here. This kid must have been bored out his mind having to sit through elementary school if he was that advanced)

• Very literal at times/ misses sarcasm: Interestingly enough, APK is very fond of being sarcastic but doesn't do so well when he's on the receiving end of it. Someone will make a joke or spin the sarcasm towards him for once, and he'll either just stare blankly like ???? or smile/thank them and they're like, Yeah, that wasn't a compliment, or, I was kidding.

• Black and white/ inflexible thinking: This might be the biggest one. Alex is super concerned with rules and ensuring that everyone is following them correctly. There's right and there's wrong, with no gray areas or middle ground as far as he's concerned. My favorite instance of this is in the episode where the family goes to visit Steven's mother and Rob, Alex's uncle, is telling a story of how Steven got in trouble as a kid for refusing to put his name in the upper right corner of his test papers. Everyone around the table laughs...except for Alex, who is deeply troubled by the information.

Just...Steven's delivery. The way he pauses and stares at Alex before replying with a ridiculous punishment that obviously didn't happen, but Alex shows no signs of being aware of or amused at the joke and is just glad his father faced the consequences of his actions. It's great, and a prime example of Alex's preoccupation with "the rules."

Another good example (& one that crosses into the empathy category as well) is "Big Brother is Watching", where Alex exposes a cheating scandal at school (that involves Mallory) and then can't wrap his mind around why everyone is angry at him when he gets the students who were involved suspended. He spends half the episode saying things like, But cheating is wrong. It's wrong and I told the truth about it. I did what's right. You (Steven) told me to always tell the truth, which I did. WHY PEOPLE ANGRY???

And so Steven has to basically spell it out and be like, You got those students suspended, Alex. They are upset with you because of this. They were exposed publically, which embarrassed them, and people tend to not like being embarrassed.

And Alex is like, Oh.

• Repetitive behavior/movements: Most often seen when Alex is distressed or scared, his mannerisms definitely stand out in many scenes. He paces, taps his foot/bounces his leg, rubs his hands together or over his lap, rocks back and forth, and avoids eye contact. I made a post about this a short while back because it really is interesting (and a testament to how well the character was played). There are moments where Alex is completely confident and "calm", and you can see that reflected in the way he carries himself. But whenever he's upset or anxious, you'll start to notice a variety of the things listed above.

So. Yeah. All these things considered...I headcanon Alex as possibly being autistic?? Which is not a take I've ever seen anyone else mention (and I seriously doubt anyone working on the show had this angle in mind at all) but watching through the series, my radar just goes off when it comes to APK.

I have no idea how this will be received. (If anyone even reads it because wow, this got away from me).

Thanks for the ask. As you may be able to tell, I enjoyed being able to spew out my thoughts.

#family ties #alex p keaton #apk #asks #do you see why it takes me so long to answer asks sometimes?#I'm out here writing an essay #I guess it's good that so few people I actually know watch/are fans of FT #because they would not have the option to keep scrolling and ignore me in situations like this #BUT! I was recently watching FT with someone who is new to the show #and I had said nothing about anything relating to this post or my thoughts here #after enough eps that they were able to get the full picture of Alex #they said ''You know...Alex could be autistic''#and I was like !!!!!!!! YOU SEE IT TOO

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yukichouji · 3 years ago

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OK, so. I just finished the quest “In Your Heart Shall Burn” and I have so many thoughts I just really need to put them somewhere alkfjaskd

Expect this post to be very unorganized and emotional xD

Alright. So, from a purely technical standpoint, this is not the best game I have ever played. There are many glitches here and there, both in the game mechanic and in the visual (though one could argue that they aren’t too annoying and kind of add to the game’s charme in their own way). But damn if this isn’t literaly the best game I have ever played alkdjfasl

I’ve put in nearly 40 hours of gameplay by now and it still feels very much like things are just getting started. There is so fucking much to see, do explore, experience. Even the smallest maps feel huge. There is so much dialog and cutscenes with your companions and advisors. Every single character feels so lovingly designed and thought through and fleshed out. Even those you only talk to once and then move on have beautiful designes, unique voices and characters that shine through.

The one trillion tiny side quests can seem a bit annyoing or overwhelming at times xD But they are still a nice way to be incentivised to explore the maps and a neat way to kill time as you wait for war table operations to finish (though, bless whoever decided to make them run in real time and not in game time aldfjkasld). And damn if the scenery isn’t fucking worth every second of exploring you get to do. I have said this before, but this has got to be one of the most beautiful games I’ve had the pleasure of laying eyes on so far. Granted I am not exactly a hardcore gamer but I’ve played my bit and to me, this is just mind-boggling.

And, oh gods, the main quests. Holy sh*t, really. I am completely blown away. The beauty. The story. The length of the cutscenes. It’s like watching an actual move. But it never gets annoying or seems like it is swallowing the game up, because there still is so much actual game around them. They are so emotional and beautifully done. I am like 20% through the main story arch rn (so I’ve been told) and damn if this story isn’t f*cking amazing.

And there are a lot of other things aside from the story itself, that make this game so amazing. Usually, a lot of games in their design, their characters and their stories are very much aimed at straight men. Which is not to say that they cannot be enjoyable also, but. This game is very much different and I can’t even begin to say how emotional this has me. The entire series so far has been so lovely about representation and everything, adding so many canonically bi characters already. But not only does DAI have two canonically gay characters (one gay, one lesbian, as you do :D), it also offers: Two bi characters, one of them a BDSM tinted romance experience, a possibly autistic or otherwise neurodivergent character, a canonically trans character (let that sink in for a second please. In a fantasy setting. In a huge game of this margin). The latter is not one of the companions, but he plays a decent role and I absolutely love him. All of these characters are created with so much depth and care and respect (as I have already mentioned) and each romance option comes with its own, unique flavor.

Not to mention how much love and detail the game mechanics themselves have to offer. Like, for example, someone had to come up with those quadrillion little side quests xD Those mind-boggling maps had to be designed. But you can also, craft your own weapons, your own armor, chose armor and weapons for all of your companions. There are so many different designs for armor and weapons. Each companion has their own stile you can chose to further cultivate or stray from. Armour can be modified and upgraded in a way that visually changes it. It can be tintet! In five different ways (metal parts, leather parts, cloth parths, some of those devided into two supparts). There are so many ways you can create unique looks. Your Inquisitor has an entire wardrobe of different formal and casual wears just for when you are strolling around the whole as keep you will eventually acquire. (which I just did and my mind is blown. I have been running around in it for like half an hour and I still haven’t seen all of it. bloody hell). There are like five (or more) categories of mounds you can get and all of them are so cool. You can customize your fucking castle. I repeat YOU CAN CUSTOMIZE YOUR F*CKING CASTLE. You can choose the windows, the courtains, the beds, the tapestries and so on. Like, never have I played an RPG that offers this level of an experience. And you know what the best part of all of this is? The thing that in this day and age feels almost mind-blowing? None of those features cost you any extra money. They are all just included in the game. (I mean they do cost you gold xD But you cannot buy gold, you need to collect it in the game, that’s it).

It’s just, the amount of love that was so clearly put into this game, a game made for a community of people that is clearly not the usual sell... man. I don’t know. I’m just feeling a lot of things right now xD I needed to digest that a bit and now it is everyone’s problem haha. Anyway. Back to fun little reaction posts now xD

Also, I took a handful of screenshots earlier and I will make another post with them the next time I start up my PC (am on Laptop right now, easier to think). If you actually stuck around to read all of this, I apologize for my ramblings and thank you. Please know that I love and appreciate you xD

#me things #yukichouji plays video games #or more like #yukichouji has an emotional meltdown over one specific video game

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