#this is one of the episodes im most exited to draw

[separatedleoau]

@blinday

it does happen!

I just don't want to talk a lot about it yet because Important Things ™️ happen, most of this au is just the turtles and April interacting and doing silly things with a few episodes of the show working for plot, Bug Busters is one of those

The boys already hold Draxum under a bad light, they don't like him even when One is constanlty talking wonders about his boss. So, Raph seeing him throw One off the roof leave him disapointed and very much surprised because that's Draxum's Number One and he is just thosing him around.

About One realizinig that....

let's just say that One thinks everything Draxum does is for a good reason, he doesn't think is bad when Draxum pushes him to his limits while training, or that the whole seed situation wasn't just impulse fueled by anger and disapointment

If Draxum threw him, he surely knew One would be able to survive, he wouldn't just throw him off like that if he didn't, and if One couldn't think of a way of saving himiself that's on him, not on Draxum.

[phantom-0-writer]

*standing menacingly at the door* i made u something

anyways lol. i had a lot of school work and was really busy freaking out and stress studying for a singular test that was 4 questions and would be over in like an hour and then i proceeded to cry about it in my car for various reasons.

but yk what that means!

time for our irregular and unscheduled update of

Gotham Academy's Mentorship Program

this episode featuring a fan favorite: Duke Thomas (aka The Signal - but thats kind of irrelevant for this)

you were supposed to read that like it was from a '90s sitcom and the off screen crowd cheers rly loudly.

some house keeping updates: this scene happens in the beginning of the school year (going by the american system should be september) danny meets damian (and upsurges tim on the same day) around midterm which is around october and then the stuff with jason and damian's drawing happens around december. i kinda accidentally burned the irl timeline for anything dc first scene so now im just gonna do whatever i want.

anyways with out further ado:

table of contents

scene 04: after school activities for normal kids

Duke stood around the corner of the classroom awkwardly, wondering if he had made the right call. Sure the bats and the birds had a plethora of hands on deck any time, but most of them specialized as night time heros. Not to say that they were incompetent or anything, they were some of the most skilled and innovative people Duke had ever had the pleasure of meeting. Sure if anything happened, they could handle it, at least until Duke could slip away and show up as the Signal- Alfred and Bruce had assured him so much. But Duke couldn’t slip the guilt of busying away more of his time to after school activities when he could be patrolling or studying instead, 

But Duke had wanted to do something outside of those things, which was specifically why he had made the difficult decision to join a few clubs and after school activities. He could use a break from being surrounded by people who worked the vigilante life-style just to remember how to be a normal civilian. Let himself take a break from constantly be consumed by one case or another, one disaster or another, not being able to do enough no matter how much he tried or how much time he spent patrolling. 

Duke needed to feel grounded, like his feet were on the ground and he could press the brakes and smell the fragrance of life. Even if the fragrance was a forgotten pile of dog s-

“Alright,” The instructor for their culinary club started with a weird German accent that sounded really fake. “I am Herman. You can call me Chef or Chef Herman or just Chef. I will not bore you all with the boring introductions, and let's head right into the cooking, yes. On this paper here I made the partners for all of you to cook with for the rest of the year. If you have problem with it then quit.” 

This Herman guy seemed like quite the character, and was definitely not helping any of Duke’s previous anxieties. Many of Duke’s clubmates seem to think so too, sending their friends various looks. But no one spoke out, and instead shuffled to the front to look at the singular sheet of paper that would assign them their partners. Duke finally made it to the front and saw that he was paired with a Daniel Fenton at Station 7. 

Crossing his fingers that Daniel had at least only a half-rotten personality, Duke made his way over to station 7. The station was already prepped with an assortment of ingredients and cooking equipment. Duke had already set his stuff down claiming the seat closer to the exit (in case) when a lanky kid comes over, “Uh, your Duke Thomas?” He asks hesitantly looking back at the front counter the partner assignment sheet was. 

It took Duke an awkward second longer to realize that this kid was probably his partner. “Oh yeah I am.” He laughed apologetically, “You must be Daniel.” 

“Danny’s fine.” The boy smiled, absentmindedly brushing his messy black hair out of his face, his glacier blue looking at the equipment. Duke couldn’t help but feel like there was something off about Danny. Not in Gotham’s usual psycho-maniac-out-to-terrorizer-the-city-and-kill-innocent-people kind of off, more in a he’s not in sync with the rest of the world off. While Chef Herman explained the general structure of various types of kitchen and kitchen hierarchy that Duke was already familiar with, Duke tried to get a read on him. 

Weird did not mean threat, after all many of the Justice League- heck even the local Wayne/Batclan were pretty weird- and they (usually) didn’t mean any harm. It wouldn’t be fair of Duke to jump the horse like that. 

Deciding he should try to be friendly with him, Duke leaned over, “Is it just me or is Chef Herman’s accent totally fake?” he whispered. 

“Oh, Ancients,” Anciets? “I thought I was just going insane.” Danny sighed in relief with a small chuckle. There was a moment of silence between the two of them where no one said anything for longer than socially acceptable and Duke debated using his powers to see if he could find a clue or something. That seemed kinda invasive, though. 

When the Chef had started instructions on making today's recipe, Chocolate Chip Cookies, Danny helped Duke measure out the ingredients. “So,” Danny tried again, “What are you in for?” 

“What am I…” Duke repeated confused, 

Danny chuckled awkwardly, “Like why you joined the club.” 

Duke seriously needed to get his head in the present; this was getting embarrassing. “Oh.” He nodded in understanding, “I’ve always liked cooking,” Duke shrugged, “When I was little my parents and I would always cook together, and it was always one of my favorite things to do. And I’ve kinda always liked it, but I fell off of it for a while with school and stuff,” emphasis on the stuff “I thought joining a club could help me get back into it and get away from… everything.” That was a little more candid than Duke had planned on being with someone he had met quite literally a few minutes ago, but it felt good to have that out of his chest. The pleasant memories of his parents swimming in his mind. Mixing the dry ingredients, “Sorry that was kind of a lot.” Duke laughed genuinely this time. 

“Dude, no it’s actually so cool that you like to cook.” Danny said admiration was easy on his face, and Duke couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed. 

“What about you, then?” 

“Ugh,” He groaned jokingly, “You can’t seriously be asking for my lame ass reason after you pulled out the flashbacks.” Danny whined, letting the oven preheat like Chef told them to. 

“C’mon, it’s only fair.” Duke played along, already ahead of the other groups. 

Danny sighed, “Promise you won’t laugh.” 

“Okay, it can’t be that bad.” Duke could already feel the smile cracking on his face. 

“It is.” Danny drawlled, “So I live in the dorms right, and I got to pull some strings and room with one of my friends from back home this year. And well, let’s just say my family has a bit of a reputation for causing problems, and the kitchen definitely wasn’t an exception. One time my dad tried to make some soup for my mom because she got sick.” Duke nodded approvingly, that was a sweet gesture, “It was all fun and games until the bomb squad had to show up and long story short we had to move.” 

“You’re joking.” Duke gaped at the bizarre story, but at Danny’s solemn expression, Duke couldn’t help but be appalled, “A bomb squad over soup.”

“My parents were never really heavy on lab safety,” Danny added, as if that explained everything, “But I burn one pot of water and maybe make a few extra-crispy eggs, and suddenly its all ‘Danny you’re not allowed in the kitchen unless you start taking actual classes’ and ‘Danny that's a biohazard’.” 

“You burned a pot of water.” Duke echoed, Danny nodded innocently, “Water doesn’t burn.”

“Well, maybe you’re just not trying hard enough.” Danny sneered, trying to crack an egg on the corner of the bowl only for all the shell to fall in the bowl and the yolk on the counter. 

“Somehow, I don’t think that’s true.” Duke said, taking the bowl from him and expertly cracking an egg single handedly. Danny looked on in awe. “You said you live in the dorms?” Duke asked easily. 

“Oh yeah, all of the non-local scholarship kids have to.” 

Before Duke could respond, a girl from the station in front of them whips her head around, “You said you’re here on a scholarship?” She asked almost oppressively. 

Danny just as taken aback as Duke felt, “Uh, yeah.” 

“Me, too. Have you heard anything about the Mentorship Program here? Apparently we all have to join.” The girl’s partner was looking between Duke and Danny confused, but returned to their cooking uninterested. 

“Oh, yeah. They make us all join.” Danny nodded. 

“I heard from some of the older kids, that no one actually gets picked for that. It’s just like a weird formality thing.” The girl spoke animatedly, “What department are you in?” 

“Applied physics and engineering design.” The oven beeps that it was ready but no one moved. 

The girl seemed to deflate that answer, “Oh, I’m doing culinary science.” And with that solid conclusionary statement, she turned around and got back to her work station. 

Danny blinked, processing what just happened and slowly turning to look at Duke for proof that just happened. But the second the both of them met each other’s eyes, they burst into a fit of silent laughter. 

Bent vunuralably over the table, trying to catch their breath, they were accosted by Chef Hermon. “The two of you are having a comedy club, not a cooking club.” Chef crossed his arms at the edge of the table. Duke was pretty sure he was trying to sold them, but the fake accent was making it hard to tell. 

Danny cleared his throat and striated up, “Sorry, Sir.” He apologized quickly. 

“Chef.” Hermon peered at them, his hat looking comically large and lopsided on his head now that Duke was getting a closer look. 

“Sorry, Chef.” Duke amended, trying to keep his cool. 

“Yes, finish cooking your cookies.” He nodded satisfied, leaving their station. 

“Okay so,” Duke tried to recount what the last thing they did was, but one look at Danny trying desperately to hold in his laugh had ruined all of Duke’s efforts as well. Barely managing to get their cookies in the oven, over Chef’s fake german accent and floppy oversized chef’s hat. 

“So scholarship for applied physics and engineering design, huh.” Duke recounted from earlier, impressed. 

“Yeah…” Danny trailed off embarrassed, “It sounds kinda snotty.” 

“Dude. That’s literally one of the hardest departments to get into, and the scholarship is no sneeze either. There’s no doubt you worked your butt off to get that.” Duke assured Danny as they sat in their stools waiting for the cookies to finish. 

“Thanks,” Danny smiled sheepishly. They sat in a much more comfortable silence now before Danny spoke again, “What grade are you in by the way?” 

“I’m in 10th. General studies for now, but I was thinking of doing medicine. You?” 

“I could totally see you as a hot-shot doctor.” Danny nodded approvingly, ��11th. Technically, I’m your upperclassman then.” 

“Technically?” Duke asked.

“I mean, how old are you?” 

“15.” Duke supplied confused. 

“Me too. I skipped a grade in elementary school, so we’re actually the same age.” Danny explained, sheepishly. 

“Dude, you're actually way smart.” Duke gaped in awe. 

“Hey medicine isn’t a day walk either.” Danny nudged his arm playfully, “I’m glad the mentorship thing is just for show, though. Now that we’re upperclassmen, y’know. I would not want my hands full with some random rich kid.” 

Duke laughed, “Yeah, that definitely sounds like a lot of work.” 

Easily unfolding the conversation into various topics and interests Duke found that he didn’t mind that the cookies were burnt. Or that Danny was definitely weird. But in a good way. Duke was glad they met and would get to hang out and cook with their weird not-German Chef every week. And if Danny and Duke exchanged numbers and planned to hangout outside of club activities, then well who was going to stop them.

[atoriv-art]

asks :)

guess who let them pile up for months (meeeeeeee)

tysm!!! i share a similar view wrt his hair :) i think it's a very fun way to interpret it given he's one of (/the?) only characters to ever go through a change like that! especially given his snake transformations i think it's completely plausible that he found himself mirroring the guy too much and wanted to distance himself from that lol

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thank youuuu it's one of my favorite things to draw honestly :) especially with the uchihas where their eyes are such an integral part of their character design hehe

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:D the positive reception to them honestly makes me really happy given they're a relatively obscure pairing hahahaha thank you!

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thank you so muuuch 🥺 my biggest goal with my art is capturing like, emotional snapshots of the little guys i like and i'm glad it comes through!! :]

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[ post linked ]

it's a fair question! i might elaborate more someday but atm the basic premise is that it's likely it'd be like a pragmatic deal between them? sasuke needs a source of strength and obito is both very powerful and a sharingan user, and obito has reason to look out for sasuke because of itachi hovering over his shoulder + if he trains sasuke correctly he can have a powerful ally on his side... which is i think?? the reason why obito let sasuke hang out with him for so long in canon but it went nowhere looooool

i find orochimaru's integration and then sudden exit from the plot to be a little bit messy so i like to think of ways of streamlining the process and just having sasuke be with the "main" naruto antagonists from an earlier date :0c with the rest of the kids still being with him as i am very fond of both karin and suigetsu ahahaha

i also find the idea of sasuke being in closer proximity to itachi during the timeskip (while still distant ofc) to be fun, like him being akatsuki-adjacent while itachi is also there brings fun scenarios to think about! + the fact itachi really doesn't like obito, so there's an added layer of 👀 as he hates that obito is the one training him but he can't really do anything abt it without showing his hand lol

and, the rest of the akatsuki interacting with a bunch of kids on a "friendly" level is a funny concept lmao

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grouping these together since i assume it was the same person ^^

kks headcanons: hmm i'm actually not sure! i think a lot about kakashi but im blanking on specific headcanons i have :P

top 5s: without much thought to ordering them i'd sayyy

characters: obito, kakashi, itachi, sasuke, and gaara or neji depending on my mood

pairings: sasuneji, sasugaa, kakaobi, itadei and kisaobi or sasusui

what got you into naruto: mostly being really curious about kakashi 😅 he seemed like the type of character i really would like so we watched a few episodes "for fun" just to meet him and then. you know.

thoughts on kakagai: i love kakagai i think it's super cute :)

do you like sasuke x naruto: people keep asking me this KSDJSKJD i'm ambivalent about the pairing, i can see why people like it but it's not for me

would you ever draw naruto (the character): possibly! just no real guarantee since i tend to focus on a small group of characters is all

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🥺 thank you so much!!! sorry about the 25 minutes hahahaha

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thank you so much!! if it helps any i struggle a lot with traditional art hahaha :P

i haven't ever drawn the rest of team 7 atm, no! if i ever do i'll definitely post it as it seems a lot of people are curious about them hahahah

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😭 tysm!!!!

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:D! i'm a firm believer that sasuke is one of the most sun-adjacent characters i've ever seen but alas he is cursed to be misunderstood because he's an emo boy 😔

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:] i'm glad!!! he's very fun to draw hehehe

[stolaz-the-artist]

Murder drones au pt 2

Long awaited follow up for my murder drones au, of which was kindly requested by @burgertron17.

I appreciate the patients you've had with me, I and I apologize for the wait. But enough talk, lets get into it.

⚠️Spoiler warning for murder drones. Duh⚠️

lot of text ahead. like A LOT! beware!

So first an explanation of how the timeline is played out in comparison to murder drones canon.

Macy isn't really "bullied" in the same sense Uzi is, but she does experience a disconnect with the other kids. There is a rumor going around that she's half disassembly drone, which would explain why she's so tall. This one singular rumor is why she isn't outright bullied, they're low-key kinda scared of her.

The gun incident goes as followed in the canon. Aaron and Lance walk by and see Macy is hurt. Macy talks about the outdoors and how she's planning on sneaking out to get the last part she needs for her gun to actually work. Bottom panel of the lance drawing plays out here.

As the exit the outer door Aaron makes an off comment of "I bet Lance is worried sick." Hard cut to top left corner of Lance drawing, insert elevator esque like music. Hard cut back Aaron and Macy. Moment of silence. Macy says "Eh we'll make it quick.

They find the piece and blah blah blah.

Ok I'm not gonna write every single change I made cuz that will make this post wayyyy to long. now I don't even know if posts have a word limit but I don't wanna find out. Also cuz. didn't change overly a lot, most of the stuff still goes the same way. Its not a roots deep au like my other ones.

Instead of Clays comment that everyone thinks hes useless and terrible he just casually flexes how many kills hes gotten, followed by an awkward laugh, showing how he isn't actually enjoying any of it. Instead of him telling Wanda his name he just says "welp, guess I'll stay guard and . . . look for other drones. or something. Also cut out the whole crush comment cuz in this context ew. Just have him stare into space is sum idk. Also In the J flashback just have them have a very awkward conversation, and right when Clay is about to ask him something he flies off. Keep Jestro as the leader or not Idk

instead of Clay firing hearts (cuz that would be weird) just a puff of smoke comes out. He's too tense too shoot her. he says ". . .Listen! im sure we can talk it out like civilized-" And then the bomb. or rocket. whatever it is.

Obviously Jestro is a lot less menacing and brash. Where the failed monologue comes in he more so only apologizes and tries to brush it off in a "don't take this personally" manner

only difference in episode two is that Lance, Aaron and Axl is there. Place them in any situation as you please. Expect when chad or whatever his name is almost dies. that's Aaron.

It's Fletch and Izzy who try and give Macy a make over. Fletch is probably speaking English thought. Also obviously they're a lot less mean and any off putting comments is Izzy trying to seem cool. She looks up to Macy.

Axl isn't in the room when the attack happens. Returns right after, gets rather angry cuz rightfully so- all his hard work has been destroyed. Lance comforts him with a pat on the back.

Lance was the one who tried to get Wanda killed. Ended up saving her. they bond. they're besties now.

Didnt change anything for ep 3. Oh expect the hot comment. Lance instead says. "Dramatic. . . Justified reaction? . . he doesn't appreciate you enough"

Where N is, Wanda is instead. Given how Clay and Fletch was built after everything. Monstrous as Cyn. Marlok as Tessa. And Jestro as J. Macy ended up hacking into Wanda and then connected Clay into it so he could see what happened too.

Not much change for episode 6. I dunno who the souther creepster is. Didn't even make a sketch. I might. probably won't. If you have any suggestion do tell.

During the Flashback in episode 7 we obviously have Hama (Queen halbert) and the other one I didn't think much for either. So place whoever there too. Yet again, if you have any suggestions, do tell.

Where Doll gets killed Wanda rescues Fletch last second. Monstrous could barley figure out what happened and decided that he has more important things to do.

If you ship Clay x Macy, keep it the same, if not, change it to "Are best friends. we hang out a lot." Or something. I dunno

Not much change for the finale. The reason Clay is scared is mainly cuz he just knows what hes capable of from his mom's memories. "Wanda says: Its monstrous! You know, from when- you know what I mean!

Where we get the flashback of doll dying instead have Fletch enter the room. Izzy says "Woah! Cool limbs! How that happen" Fletch lets out a "um . . " Flash back of him waking up with the new limbs and then experiencing a existential crisis. He shrugs and says "Its a long story"

Yeah that's about it for the story. Now for some behind the scenes stuff!

Pilot C

His mother build him after the explosion. He's actual defective (He's a lot shorter) But he was so good at his job they just let him be, in fear of fixing him would change it.

Clay: *Liiiick*

Clay: Oh please don't run, if I miss then this will just be more painful. Ill make it quick!

Fletch (Actually F)

W lost him during an attack. He was raised by worker drones. He isn't very confident with his limbs and is a bit clumsy. (robots built to be JUST disassembly drones don't work well with worker drone limbs.

He was attacked by AD (Absolute destruction) but W saved him last second and gave him proper limbs

F (after being converted) He still hasn't fully figured how to make everything work, but he's already gaining confidence within himself

Macy

Daughter to Eggred who built the bunker. Freezer out because she's weirdly tall and gets called a "Wannabe disassembly drone"

Macy: Shit

Aaron: I mean, he seems . . . fun sized?

Aaron: Ok so not fun

Macy: You think!?

And now for some extra stuff!

This was the initially requested casting. I couldn't quite make it work while still keeping stuff rather canon. But I made some sketches for how they would and or could look like. Oh and a drawing page for more Merlok as Tessa

More canon Clay worker drone

More Uzi leaning Clay worker drone + feat my "joke" scene Clay hc

N jestro (Just gave him a hat lol) Wanda as Nori

Kinda gave up (Not kind, I just gave up)

Merlok Moorington

Merlok: This extension looks amazing! We're matching now! I swear in another universe we're siblings.

Merlok: If you could have a family, what would their names be?

Wanda: You're my family!

Merlok: He he, of course! But other than me

Wanda: Hm . . . Clay and Fletcher.

Merlok: Hm . . I like those names.

Only child of the Moorington family. Only friends are the worker drones. Mom hates that hat, but he refuses to take it off. Mom gave up eventually

Merlok: It wants paid time off . . . to attend Union Negotiations!

Wanda: THIS IS A UNRELATED LAYOFF!

AND BOOM! we're done! Thanks so much again for all the patience! Been having a lost of work and test as of late, and I wanted to have the time to properly write all of this.

[emma-ofnormandy]

TAG GAME: EIGHT SHOWS TO GET TO KNOW ME

@fireflyxrebel-writes had an open tag and Im bored between meetings so, why the hell not!

1. Vikings: Valhalla- If you’ve been around that last year+, this one is a give in. As a fan of period dramas, I never really ventured into shows this early in history until VV, but my husband got me into it and now these characters have grabbed me and will not let go. The investment in this story is quite high and has now given me a wonderful fandom to be a part of as well.

2. The Witcher- A fantasy genre indulgence that I was initially hesitant of since I don’t enjoy GoT but do like LOTR, but has since stuck in me. I will forever be a simp for the found family trope and add to that the amazing woman that is Yennefer of Vengerberg and you have me sunk. The strong females as a whole draw me in and keep me invested. With a change up of the lead after season 3, I will struggle to stick with it, but I will watch enough of 4 to see if my husband notices there is a different actor for Geralt.

3. Shadow and Bone- As a big fan of the crows duology, when I knew they would be in the series I had to watch. I continue for that story and for the hopeful spin-off. I also watch just for the cast- they are such an inclusive and lovely bunch of people that I do it for them.

4. Miss Scarlet and the Duke- Victorian England, unapologetically independent and smart lady, handsome police detective reluctant counter part, mutual pining and slow burn, enjoyable supporting cast- what isn’t to love about this show? Hits all the notes for me and I think more people would fall in love with it if they knew about it.

5. The Office (US)- It is one of those comfort shows for me. It plays in the background while I do stuff or I watch it if there is nothing else on or don’t have the mental capacity to get invested in anything. It’s my TV security blanket.

6. NCIS- I will preference this with I do not watch past Ziva’s exit (so season 11 onward I have not seen). It’s the first show I think I actually got invested in. It creates stories outside of drama related plot lines, fleshes our characters and allows slow builds and character arcs to truly shine. I think streaming media needs to take notes and revert back to this type of story telling rather than cram everything into 8 episodes.

7. After Life- Perhaps not one that most people would peg for me, but the way it deals with a significant loss and the surviving person coming to terms with that while simultaneously intertwining additional heavy subject matter along side normal life BS is just amazing. It is some of the best dark humor out there and, in my mind, is flawless in every way.

8. Law and Order- The show that probably started my true crime obsession and the reason some true crime podcast is always playing or I’m watching some true crime documentary. I enjoy the (usually) single episode stories and the original show had some amazing cast members. It is a basis for inspiration in some of my AU fanfic writings and has so many seasons that there are probably still episodes I haven’t seen.

Tagging @something-more @witch-and-her-witcher @shelivesinhermind @mercurygray @naps4bats and @lafiametta but not pressure lovelies!

[the1312daysofchristmas]

Okay LOVED your answer to my prev ask now I’m interested in what some of your top favorite fob lyrics are?

an unordered list of fall out boy lyrics i love. theres going to be a lot of lines i forget just because theres so many lyrics that i get stuck on when i listen to them. im gonna skip tttyg lyrics because ive already done those

to hands between legs/to whatever it takes/to drinks in the club/to the bar/to the keys to your car/to the hotel stairs/to the emergency exit door - i love the repetition of the word 'to' in this, it really gets across the frantic blurry nature of these events. i especially love "to the keys to your car" because like, is it the keys to your car or is it to the keys, then to your car? love that ambiguity

as alone as a little white church in the middle of the desert getting burned - not a lot of pure visual imagery in fob songs but i do love when its there

romance is dead/i shot it in the chest and in the head - i could put every single inversion of a classic phrase in this list. drop a heart/break a name, or my insides are copper id kill to make them gold, or countless other lines. but i think ill just put the one and communicate that every single one of them is on this list

i love you in the same way theres a chapel in a hospital/one foot in your bedroom and one foot out the door - its very clear what it means but it also has so many meanings, i love it

if you are the shores i am the waves begging for big moons - i think its really obvious that i fucking love references to things other than pop culture. its something that i definitely incorporate into my own poetry.

in the truly gruesome do we trust - the state is violence baby!

im stuck in the sunshine riptide/dancing all alone in the morning light/the sunshine riptide/you came in like a wave when i was feelin alright - i genuinely think 'sunshine riptide' is the most apt description of a manic episode i have ever heard. it really is like that.

when your stitch comes loose/i wanna sleep on every piece of fuzz and stuffing that comes out of you - really great imagery. i actually have a drawing i did based on this, although i want to update it to make it a pin

i testify if i die in my sleep/then my life was just a killer dream - this is such a manic line. like its SUCH a manic line.

silent film stars stuck in talking cinema light - this is such a good line. like, we were what was new, and now were in this changing world and dont know how to adapt. im realising how good a line this is as i write this honestly.

tonight the foxes hunt the hounds - really simple concept but its so profound in that simplicity

letting people down is my thing baby/find yourself a new gig/this town aint big enough for two of us - love the rhyme scheme on this and the rhythm of how its sung, i also love the line itself

i thought of angels choking on their halos/get them drunk on rosewater/see how dirty i can get them/pulling out their fragile teeth and clip their tiny wings - love a good defilement of the holy.

theres definitely more but i think for now ill call it there!

[sanstropfremir]

it's kingdom time for real!!! the first episode is here and mnet finally uploaded the stages from like a month ago so i can actually watch them more than once to review.

happy to see them all actually performing. not the most interesting stages overall, but it was the 100sec one-take so i wasn’t expecting anything crazy. like the performance stages, this is about what i expected at this point in the show.

ranking under the cut, i have Opinions(tm) and they are not all pretty.

(anyone that’s seeing this for the first time, i’m a trained performance designer with over 30 credits and a decade of experience, yes i can talk about this with authority)

a few general notes:

this type of stage that mnet has built is called a traverse, or alley, stage. named exactly for the reason you think. it’s characterized by a narrow playing space with audience on opposite sides, and two entrances on either end. so mnet had a pretty typical setup. there are some advantages to this type of stage:

because of the narrow stage space and usually smaller audience capacity, the performer and audience are in much closer proximity

because of the shape of the space, blocking (choreography but for not-dance) can travel well and be very dynamic

it’s uncommon outside of midsize/small productions so there’s some novelty for the casual theatre goer

however! there are some pitfalls with this type of stage. the hardest type of stage to work with is (theatre) in the round. theatre in the round is characterized by being....in the round. that means the audience is placed 360 degrees around the playing space. which means that they can see everything; every entrance, every exit, every performer’s back, 360 degree sightlines means there is nowhere to hide. and in a medium that relies on concealment to create magic, it’s a tough stage to work with. not saying it doesn’t work. some of the most incredible shows i’ve been to have been theatre in the round, but when you go to those type of shows, as an audience member you understand that there will be some scenes where you only see the actors’ backs. there is no perfect seat in the round. the reverse is true as well, the actors can only act to those in front of them. and like i stated previously, on the production end it becomes difficult to hide things like props/set/costume changes that you might have been able to in another type of theatre. why am i talking about theatre in the round? because traverse works on exactly the same principle. even though the audience is only on two sides, the same issues still arise. directionality is key: a director has to be careful of how exactly the stage gets blocked.

why am i talking about stage formats? because the space always informs the performance, that’s why. i think mnet made a sort of smart choice to build a traverse stage. since the ‘audience’ is a video camera, that eliminates the need to play to the opposing seating banks, and opens up more staging opportunities. it’s a fancy looking stage that does what they need it to. 

now here’s my gripes. if you’re going to specifically orient a stage so that it is by nature directional, why are you broadcasting in a format where direction doesn’t matter? if the camera has no fixed position, then you’ve just skipped directly into in the round staging without taking into account the function of the space. it's a round peg in a square hole; yes it fits, but you can see the spaces where it doesn’t quite match up. for a very obvious example, any shot that is not staring directly down the barrel of the stage from left or right has audience in it. and not enough to be worthy of a reaction shots (because those are just cut in in post), but enough to just be there. why would you do that when you could just.....not? just go properly in the round and then you wouldn’t have that distraction. especially when the audience is wearing white. also, there are only so many ways you can stage on a traverse, you’re pretty much limited to directional points on a compass, because there are literal risers in the way. because of the way most groups are choreographed, the member layouts lean more towards having the members in a line than they do layering the members deep. this configuration is fine on a proscenium stage (which is what most stages are), and would even be fine on a traverse stage if you were playing to the risers. you could even do some interesting choreo alterations. but! because mnet has decided that the camera is perpendicular to the risers, that means that most of the formations are not optimized for the stage dimensions and are in fact the opposite dimensions. most of these groups are doing their longest blocking across the shortest area of stage, which is dumb. although it isn't much of a problem because the stage is still very large, but it's still a bizarre choice on behalf of mnet. why would you not arrange the stage so you have more clearance for the camera, the audience, and also the performers? i would have to check back over the rtk performances, but im pretty sure at one point they switch to an in the round stage. why are you not doing that from the start? this would also allow for more built setpieces. although it does remain to be seen if they do switch after this episode, since this particular challenge was a one-take with minimal props/set pieces. which segues to my next point: these groups barely took up the parameters of the challenge, or utilized them effectively! this is also mnet’s fault, mnet if you say that you’re gonna do a one-take, don't cut between seven other cameras!! show us the power of that single point of view! let the groups actually do some interesting blocking with the path of the camera! there’s so many interesting things they could have done, but no!! had to be boring!! i know this is technically an introductory stage, but i also don't care. these groups have (relatively) competent ADs and stylists, they can think outside the box.

ok now here’s my actual rankings:

1. btob

sorry babies, none of you can match them vocally. love you ateez but you sure fucked up picking them to go after you because they blew you out of the fucking water. and everyone else, but ateez cumulatively is the weakest vocally. more on that later. like the performance stage they showcased their strengths and the experience (and training) shows. good use of the directional stage having three vs one that came together in the middle. loved the white suit variations, im especially a sucker for a belted suit jacket. loved peniel's gigantic trench and massive earrings, very mid 90s, his stylist definitely took a lesson in how to accessorize very short hair. always love good use of fog. uniform colour theme, all elements were there to support the vocals. no complaints, chef’s kiss.

2. ikon

hey baby groups? see bobby having fun? do that more. i know you think performance face is sexy and serious but none of you know how to act and you all look dead inside on stage. the lights may be on but nobody’s home. anyways. excellent beginning formation, excellent ending formation, no complicated position changes that make the camera give you motion sickness. fun choreo that they are obviously having fun performing, which goes sooooo far in the success of a performance. only group so far to use silence as an effective device, and the arrangement was interesting and suited to the song+performance. i think it was smart of them not to deploy bobby right away, although it would have been funny to watch after whatever it was that stray kids was trying to do. again, like btob and also sf9, sticking to their strengths. costumes fun and fitting, indicative of both the colour of the group and of the song. nice detail in the monochrome and the black accent details.

3. sf9

taeyang is that bitch and they only way this would have been better is if he had actually grabbed the ties of those two other members (if you think i am going to remember anyone's names other than the people i already know you are wrong). love the confidence to waste a good chunk of your 90 seconds for walking and standing in formation. actual good use of one-take directional camera, even though they ruined it once they started dancing. choreo perfectly fine, lighting good complementary colour scheme, costumes nothing to write home about, surprisingly good projection design? wasn’t expecting that. im not the biggest fan white suit jackets over black shirts but ill give it a pass for the proper suit accessorizing.

4. ateez

i applaud your dedication to the pirate gimmick but boys you don't need that anymore, i promise. hongjoong's lil bloody cough was a fun gag that didn't draw too much attention but fit with the theme. came out of the gate strong with an actual clear narrative, which can be a challenge to do in 100 seconds, and the only group to have a narrative. also actual camera choreo! that was interesting! mnet stop fucking cutting to overhead shots! apparently im destined to always be beefing with the ateez stylists because what was the point of all that? very little variation in texture or pattern on matte all black just made any relevant details disappear. torch gimmick and end formation fun, and the arrangement had an obvious climax. weird and kinda fun projection design, but not helped by concert-style stage lighting. pick one or the other lighting designer, don't make them fight like that! props to them for actually having their mics on the whole time, even though they are probably the weakest group vocally. im also going to be beefing with the choreographer because they are always making seonghwa sing while doing ridiculous moves that make him go offkey. ateez has some of the stronger 4th gen vocals, but they're at a disadvantage because a) none of them have proper vocal training, and b) their main vocal is not actually a skilled singer and is destroying his voice.not a lot of vocals for them to showcase this stage and that was probably for the best. hanya (@changdyke) is in charge of vocals critique and will have more to say about this than me, even though i am also trained. im just here to talk about the production.

5. the boyz

im neutral to positive on tbz because i did really like their danger stage from rtk. this performance is just....fine. I don’t like the arrangement, but that's mostly personal opinion. but it doesn't have a conclusive end and the whole dissonance thing isn't really working for me in this instance. the choreo is quite flippy and tricking is not necessary for an interesting choreo. i did like the throwback/use of modern choreo, i think that's a strong choice for them and it's not something that many other groups are doing, so they should stick more to that than to tricking. the camera choreo is also not good. here’s where the clearance issues and fighting against the stage layout happen! stop making a handheld do a 180! are you trying to make us motion sick? to be fair, this is not the most egregious one, but at least ateez got it right by having a person lead the camera in a particular pattern. also, what even is the theme here? leatherclad boys in the forest? nobody give me any shit saying it's based off one of their music videos or whatever, that shouldn't matter. there should be a clear theme that can be easily identified without prior knowledge of the group, especially when this is an introductory stage and they are a relatively young group. none of the other groups have this issue. that being said, at least the costumes were interesting to look at, although thematically confusing. good use of accessories, texture, and bedazzling to make the black stand out against the stage. the hands in front of the camera were kind of fun but didnt really mean anything? again, back to the lack of clear concept. i did like them reaching out to pull that member forward, it would have been better if they had just left it at that.

6. stray kids

the more i watch this the more i hate it. im not even sorry about it anymore. starters, and i will admit this upfront: i do not like most 4th gen music, so the spiderman meme groups are already operating on a deficit in my point of view. and i particularly did not like this arrangement. same as with tbz, why did it not have a conclusive end? also overuse of sound effects. and stop saying your fucking band name! the only musician that’s allowed to do that is jason derulo and thats because hes a meme now. but twice in 100 seconds? no. and what was the point of that logo/crown reveal? im tired of crown reveals we have seen them so many times by now, we don't need to see it again. was it meant to be that they were carving it into the ground?? very unclear. there was an attempt with camera choreo, and i will admit that the pan up and then back down to the ‘wolf pack’ was probably the strongest moment in the whole performance. the lights were in their mouths, by the way. however, the rest of the choreo is all over the map, quite literally. as with tbz there’s a lot of members in the group and so in order for everyone to get their screen time they break down into smaller groups, which i don't disagree with on principle, but here.........the breakdowns are just tricking, which although eyecatching, does not a very compelling or cohesive choreo make. even the unison choreo is weird, obviously its stylized horror but it just looks awkward and strange. you can make awkward/unattractive choreo work (see taemin’s want, or even move, to some extent)***, but skz doesn't have an ounce of the charisma that taemin has so it just looks awkward. also, that rapid switch between opposite sides of the stage? nausea inducing. ateez was the one with the pirate concept but skz apparently trying to make us seasick. im not gonna say anything about that rap other than it was bad, why was that allowed on stage. the sparkthrower was fun but that's like the 14th gimmick in this 100 second stage and that’s too many gimmicks. costumes are truly nothing to write home about, extremely unclear relation to the theme. if you're gonna be wolves then at least have some fur accents or something. the makeup effects were a bit over the top and not necessary in the actual performance. a hairdresser needs to thin out felix’s hair because he looks like he's wearing one of those lego hair helmets. oh, i did like that one guy’s shirt with the collarbone cutout, but again: how is that relevant to the theme? cmon people!!!! design the whole experience!! im sure there’s more i could write but holy shit this is long and im tired and also i don't want to watch this stage anymore.

ok im done. jesus this is long. again, this is just the intro stage so i suspect that some of my complaints will become null next week, but we’ll have to see! well, what i actually want to see is changmin insulting children but i’m not holding out hope for that to happen. hopefully we see some more spectacle-y stages and i can really go in.

***this is not me saying that taemin has a bad choreo that he’s making the best of. want is purposefully choreographed that way in order to showcase taemin’s ability. same with move. the point of want is that it IS awkward and should not be seductive or appealing and yet it still is. almost like....it’s in the name of the song or something.....

[misterbitches]

This is a personal kinda critique/my thoughts w the show im in my phone in a hotel w my parents in boston and im just rly fucking crazy rn and i cant put a read more link my bad. tagging it just in case cos i have some technical thoughts too but i doubt ppl care. I may delete this. Why is ttumblr for iphone so vad where the eff is the read more jawn.......ANYWAY

my uncle died and it has taken an insane emotional toll on me more than i thought possible. spiraling me i to an episode. when the pandemic began, i remember i was watching 2gether and it gave me solace because i had nothing else. i lost two jobs—one very important for my career—my relationship with my parents is fraught, im 29, and i have to live with them. but when i look back on 2gether, since it was what i was doing a lot at the time bc we could do even less than now, i dont feel a connection i just watched it at the time.

blih may be like this, but my uncle died...the day before it aired. I guess i watched it the next day out of desperation. I just went to check and im crying now. Idk what memories ill have of the show and i hate marking periods of my life by such silly capitalist output but what choice do we have anyway? it was nice because i got to see something mild and sweet.

and i have to say, the mom cameo was really touching. so was director mai. having grief and having a really neglected childhood those two things made me cry. they got his mother’s reaction downpat to losing the love of her life and being a widow—it hit me like a ton of bricks to hear that talk then go to the memorial service snd take care of my cousins and be there for my aunt. Im no one and not a widow but that type of love for a partner and being able to celebrate him abd love him completely forever and not having the memory leave you. It is important to me to see that it is possible. This could lie the rub between BL just for BL sake or like actual shows that are dramas that happen to have different types of ppl and not ignoring their way of life or possibility (“querrness means possibility” - a famous thai auteur named joe)

love is a really beautifl and previous thing and people deserve happiness and respect and to be loved. theres a person who is with you and the people around you and one day they could leave. for whatever reason. should we not try? if not for the emotional buts i think the show would be something people care less avout but that was a draw. and for the first time in so long especially for a BL i thought, “wow, i feel something and i’m having fun.”

it’s hsrd to talk about and personal. i miss him more than life itself. Some days it is so bad. I want to exit the earth and dnot do it anymore. but theres little teeny thngs that make it a bit better to hold on. lol theres so much to do and to be happy with. and so much to fall into despair. id rather watch it go by but i dont want to miss a chance to feel what they feel or loving people around me and finding the love of my life and my calling.

it was nice to wait for something every week that was sort of like a friend and to see a lot of the same problems im facing too. pain of loss and moving on isnt running away i guess. im similar to jyz in the fact that id rather not do it at all to not lose what i never had. i wish i didnt know my uncle, because i wouldnt feel this way but if i never knew him bow could i have loved someone so much and known him? wouldnt that bee a loss? isnt giving up and closing yourself off to force people to come to you because youre scared just as slefish? Dunno.

The show made me think a lot ans it was just perfect timing i guess. it didnt help me run away from my demons but it quelled them for a time and reminded me i could be better too.

Now as an artist with insane abandonment issues i can safely say that production mistakes were a plenty and most egregiously i would NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER be able to handle the level of stress of having someone that fucking left me back. That would destroy me, when JYZ was upset around him i was and all the signs were about a relaly oppressive difficult person but they introduced him too late. but ironically i saw the patterns of abuse i went/go through w my parents and my distrust meter skyrocketed and because aaron lai is a good actor, it extra hurt. he acted like a small child—the same feelings i was having at that exact week and i felt the force of it. I feel like that was a missed opportunity and i get why but this is what i mean about the feelings they were able to get down. The actors did legwork from the script to their delivery but it alsk means the script wasnt totally atrocious. Ok now im talking in circles.

This is kinda like to my star, a nice show, tranqhil, and sorrowful but eventually just hopeful. Maybe it’s the hopefulness and peace idk. I just wish my life was calm like that but again escapism abd then they hit u with the rela shit and u cant take it

And the little prince....st exupery was an anti fascist so thats good but the whimsy of that book and the beauty of continuing or...the prince knew he was heading first into something he may not make it out of but he did it because why not? Why not go to the fullest? Nothing is set in stone. The prince didn’t understand adults but he didnt have to. He was going through life searching and encountered hardships but still took the chance. He didnt run away.

[the-croissant]

Episode 1 - Lockdown

Hey guys, Im starting to write out a fictional radio show called Welcome to Rocky County, so...here is the first episode

*Taps mic*

Testing, 1, 2, 3. Test. Hey, is this even working?

*Clears throat*

Testing, testing. Um, excuse me microphone?

*Brief pause*

Ah, here we go. Hey guys, my name is Skyler Dylans and I'm the new radio host here in Rocky County, since, as you may or may not know, station management has casted our previous host, Mason Barges, into that mysterious vortex near the front entrance to the Sam's Club parking lot.

It is my pleasure to inform all of you that the Rising Sun Steakhouse, owned by Richard Corey, you know, the ominously tall man who only ever wears gym clothes and lives in the blue house on that corner? Yeah, him. His steakhouse is celebrating it's GRAND OPENING today! Of course, majority of you weren't invited, and the guest list is limited to only immediate family members and close family friends, but I think we should all just take a moment to give Richard a round of applause for such an accomplishment. Come on Rocky County, let's all celebrate this momentous occasion with Richard!

*Sounds of awkward but genuine clapping into the mic for an uncomfortable amount of time*

You know, Rocky County? I used to know Richard when we were young. Yeah, he was dating my older sister. They had quite a nasty break up, though. So, Richard, if you are listening to this: Salina doesn't miss you. She really doesn't. You were an absolute piece of [censored] and you can go [censored] yourself. [censored] you, Richard.

In other news, guys, a mysterious but rather alarming secret government agency who's name is not to be disclosed has ordered that everyone in Rocky County be in their houses for a community wide lockdown. The cause of this lockdown has not been disclosed. All of us are to be in our houses, and if not our houses then the closes secure building, and lock the doors. Close the windows tight, and do not look through the curtains. You are not to leave your respective lockdown locations until you have permission from the mysterious yet alarming secret government agency who's name is not to be disclosed. So stay in your houses, or workplaces, or wherever you are, and stay safe, Rocky County! We don't want to repeat that incident with the turtles releasing formaldehyde, now do we? I didn't think so. Now get inside before the mysterious yet alarming secret government agency sees you outside and decides to eliminate you. Now that that announcement is over, let's have a word from our sponsors.

*Static noise*

*Crashing noises*

*Sirens wailing*

*Heavy breathing into the mic*

*A deep voice begins mumbling into the microphone*

[Same voice] Kool Aid. Drink it. It is good for you.

*Microphone drops to the ground*

*High pitched feedback noises*

*Shuffling*

[Skyler back on the mic] Well, that was a fun commercial. You know, it's one of my favorite Kool Aid commercials. Always makes me feel like they really care about their customers. Ah, how I love Kool Aid.

Anyways, listeners, how about we take a look at today's traffic?

Hmm...let's see. It's empty. There are zero cars in the road. That's probably because everyone is locked inside. Nevertheless, the traffic is amazing. I wish the traffic was like that on my way to work today.

Oh - guys, my intern Jamie is handing me a notice that a spokesperson on behalf of the mysterious yet alarming secret government agency who's name is not to be disclosed has made an announcement at City Hall. He is saying...oh! Listeners, it seems that the mysterious yet alarming secret government agency who's name is not to be disclosed is reporting that while they will not reveal the reason for our lockdown, they are willing to tell us that it is extremely dangerous to be outside right now, and death is a very real possibility. The mysterious yet alarming secret government agency who's name is not to be disclosed would like to thank you for your cooperation, and as a sign of their gratitude they will be leaving a single, unwrapped twix bar on everyone's doorstep.

Please remember, you are not to retrieve this twix bar until the lockwood is over, as that would mean exiting your house, and that is absolutely not allowed.

I wish they would just tell us what the reason for all of this. Maybe then I could use it as inspiration in my art. Oh, listeners, fun fact about me! I love to draw. Art is my passion, and I am much better at it than Alice. Of course, most of you don't actually know Alice, but she knows who she is. Alice knows, now don't you, Alice?

*Phone buzzes in background*

*Brief pause*

Well, well, well, listeners. It seems that Alice does know. She just send me a text message reading "you suck". Now Alice, that is very rude of you. I do not suck. Don't be a bully, Alice.

Update on the lockdown situation: the twix bars have been distributed. You didn't notice, since the mysterious yet alarming secret government agency who's name is not to be disclosed did not actually physically deliver your twix bars. They simply appeared. Remember, listeners, you are not to collect your sweet treats just yet. You must remain indoors. Your safety is our top priority here in Rocky County, and it would be in your best interest to cooperate with our wishes.

Let's see...it seems I still have some time left on air, so let's go over the community calendar.

On monday, there are hot yoga classes at 8:30 am sharp in in the dance studio of the community recreation center. On tuesday, the Oshiro family has rented out the party room at Adrian's Pizza House for - aww...it's Anisa's birthday! Anisa Oshiro is turning nine years old on tuesday, and they are renting out the party room to celebrate. Well, happy early birthday, Anisa! Wednesday, oh this is a fun one, guys this wednesday is the semi annual fund raiser for the Rocky County varsity football team, the Rocky County Stone Golems! Are you guys going? I'm going. I love the popcorn. And let's see...on thursday we have, oh? What is this?

Listeners, my intern Jamie is handing a report from the mysterious yet alarming secret government agency who's name is not to be disclosed that the lockdown is over! Yes listeners, you heard that right! The lockdown is over. Now, you may exit your homes to retrieve your twix bars! Well, Rocky County, I am going to bring this radio show to a clownse now, as you are not the only ones with a special treat waiting for them on their doorstep! Oh, how I love twix. Well, listeners, I hope you enjoyed my first time hosting the nightly radio show, and I hope I did a good job living up to poor Mason's legacy. Stay tuned next for our new game show called Guess Who where contestants try to guess who the celebrity guest is based only on the sound of their screams. Good night, Rocky County. Good night.

Link: https://my.w.tt/hAzKW3xA9bb

[im-illegal]

soft asks to get to know people!!Do-em-all?

I KNEW I KEPT THIS ASK IN MY INBOX FOR A REASON I KNEW ID FIND THE ASK GAME AGAIN ONE DAY HERE YOU ARE FINALLY I DID NOT FORGET

1. what song makes you feel better?

currently,,, Old Black Train by The Blasting Company

2. what’s your feel-good movie?

just give me some studio-ghibli

3. what’s your favorite candle scent?

lemon :]

4. what flower would you like to be given?

I saw some trans flag colored orchids once I think those'd be pog

5. who do you feel most you around?

uhhh Here or around a friend i haven't seen around in a while

6. say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).

1) I actually really like my long hair

2) I got fuckin eyebrows for days

3) i have. thigh pillows

1) I'm nice or I'd like to think I am

2) I'm good at some things

3) I like the fact that I like hot cocoa

7. what color brings you peace?

a pastel yellow or the colour my blog is rn

8. tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good. 

too lazy

9. what calms you down?

hm,, uh,, sometimes playing minecraft, sometimes drawing, watching streams has been pretty calming, and a select set of music and specific podcast episodes

10. what’s something you’re excited for?

honestly I am very exited for ranboo seeing dream in the prison atm

11. what’s your ideal date?

stars n lookin at em probably

12. how are you?

sick and not as in cool

13. what’s your comfort food?

hm,, carbs,, sopapillas w honey n powdered sugar

14. favorite feel-good show?

haikyuu!! maybe,, or adventure time

15. for every emoji you get, tag someone and describe them in one word.

am confusion

16. compliment the person who sent you this number.

you're very lovely and a very good friend

17. fairy lights or LED lights?

uhh LED only if they have very low colour settings otherwise fairy lights because I can't handle a lot of light and they're pretty dim and look nice

18. do you still love stuffed animals?

yes I have a very nice stuffed fox and cat in a noodle cup

19. most important thing in your life?

uhh fuck if i know either my tumblr minecraft im djsjjs idk

20. what do you want most in the world right now?

not to be sick? or at least have a vauge idea of what temperature my body is at I am surving off of being buried under a blanket on one side while my other side has a fan pointed at it

21. if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

know your own strength you'll feel guilty about it later if you don't

22. what would you say to your future self?

does that fic end any good?

23. favorite piece of clothing?

collage sweater that my grandma sent and I kinda took it smells like her house which is comforting

24. what’s something you do to de-stress?

Sleep or listen to the same playlist I made for when im stressed

25. what’s the best personal gift someone could give you (playlist, homemade card, etc.)

uh. hm. idk. uham. a playlist maybe would be. cool. rocks though. or a good stick yeah yeahhhh a stick a good stick

26. what movie would you want to live in?

uhahh howl movin castle

27. which character would you want to be?

calcifer :]

28. hugs or hand-holding?

hugs

29. morning, afternoon or night?

my brain sure wants to say night because I keep falling asleep at 3-4am because thats what is set as my auto-sleep schedule

30. what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

warm but a fans still running in the background. petting a dog while half asleep. someone petting /my/ hair while half asleep. shitty mattresses.

[sylvanfreckles]

They Look So Pretty When They Bleed (Whumptober 2020)

AU of episode 15.09, “The Trap”. Separated in Purgatory, Castiel finds himself in the hands of the leviathan who have taken him captive for a sinister purpose, only to be rescued by an unlikely ally.

* * *

One of the leviathan, armed with a crude stone ax, broke the lines of the angel trap. Before Castiel could take advantage of his returning grace the others had tackled him, binding his wrists with coarse rope and hauling him away from the clearing. He tried to look back to see if Dean was safe but they surrounded him to propel him forward.

“The human's dead anyway,” one of the leviathan sneered in his ear. “He'll never make it to the exit. You should have just let us gut 'im.”

Castiel flinched away from the creature's glistening teeth. They didn't know about Michael's rift or they would have killed Dean on the spot rather than accept Castiel's bargain. He'd promised to submit and go peacefully to face whatever judgment Eve required, but in truth he was waiting for the best opportunity to break away. There had to be more leviathan blooms somewhere, and even with the dark influence of Purgatory pressing down around him an angel was more than a match for a dozen leviathan.

After perhaps ninety minutes of walking, during which time Castiel valiantly hoped Dean had woken up and started back for the rift rather than on some insane rescue, they broke through the forest into another clearing. This one had a broad stone altar in the center and a handful of torches scattered around.

“Where's Lud?” one of the leviathan called.

“He's on his way,” another answered. She had a coil of rope over her arm and was brushing leaves off of the altar to reveal a carved design. “Should we wait for the others?”

The leviathan holding Castiel's arm shook his head. “Can't risk the rebels finding out. As soon as Lud gets back we'll start the ceremony.”

Ceremony? “I thought you were taking me to see Eve,” Castiel said as the leviathan moved around him to prepared for a ritual. “This was not our agreement.”

“We are,” the leviathan holding him answered. “Samlah?”

“Ready,” the woman called back. She stepped away from the altar to reveal the intricate angel trap etched into its surface. “And Lud's here.”

Another one came jogging out of the trees, a roll of animal pelt under one arm. “We've only got three left, Tema” he said to the one holding Castiel.

“It's enough,” Tema replied. “Do it.”

The leviathan named Lud rolled out the animal pelt on the ground near the altar. It had an assortment of crude surgical tools made of rock and bone, some crumbled leaves from a plant Castiel didn't recognize, and three dirty syringes. As Castiel stared Lud rolled up one sleeve to plunge a syringe into the crook of his arm, drawing out vile black blood.

“Altar,” Tema snapped.

Castiel didn't wait to see what the leviathan had planned. He twisted away to break out of Tema's grip, snapping the weak bonds on his wrists as he did so. The leviathan roared in fury, its brothers answering its cry. They charged, wielding their rough weapons, faces morphing into nightmares.

They had taken his angel blade when they captured him, but Castiel met the assault head-on. He caught the wrist of the first attacker and twisted it back, slamming his knee into the elbow joint so the leviathan dropped the stone knife it had been carrying. He picked up the knife to block the next attack but a rock caught him in the shoulder and spun him off-balance so that the leviathan's club landed on his outstretched arm instead.

More rocks struck him across the back. Someone got hold of his arm and swung him around into another leviathan's fist. He reeled back and more hands grabbed him by the shoulders. Something slammed against his knees, making them buckle. His arms were pulled away from his sides, forcing his elbows and shoulders to lock so he couldn't pull away.

“Hurry,” Tema said, unruffled by the short fight. “We're too exposed here.

Lud was walking toward them, three syringes filled with blood in his hands. “Will this be enough?”

“It better be,” Tema replied. “Do it.”

The leviathan walked around behind Castiel. A hand tangled in his hair to force his head down, then the sharp pain of a needle pierced his neck. He might have screamed, except that the pain caused his body to lock up even down to his lungs.

Demon blood would burn an angel from the inside out.

Leviathan blood was primordial ice.

Castiel was barely aware of the hands hauling him to the altar as his body twisted in agony. They laid him out on the stone and tied his hands and feet down, and the moment he was within the angel trap his grace shut down and the leviathin blood tore into him. He couldn't get enough air in to make a sound, much less a feeble attempt to free himself.

Tema leaned over him, holding a small stone blade that looked like a crude scalpel. “You see, Mother isn't here. We returned to Purgatory but she was sent somewhere deeper.” He pressed the tip of the blade to the inside of Castiel's elbow and dragged it down, opening the skin so that blood flowed over the angel's arm and onto the altar. “Only a very special sacrifice will bring her back.”

Another leviathan cut into his other arm. The his inner thigh down to his knees, then the bottoms of his feet. The backs of his calves. The lowest ribs on each side. The blood pooled beneath his body, filling the lines of the angel trap.

Samlah was leaning over him, too, casually studying the bloodied knife in her hands. “I keep forgetting,” she mused.

“What?” Tema demanded.

“Angels really aren't much to look at,” she explained, face splitting into a nightmare grin. “But they sure are pretty when they bleed.”

Tema answered with a grin of his own. “Let's begin.”

A howl rent the dark forest around them. The leviathan leader swore and dropped his stone scalpel. “The rebels,” he hissed. “Spread out.”

There was a commotion at the edge of the clearing. The paralysis of the leviathan had worn off enough that Castiel could crane his neck to see what was happening, but there wasn't much more than the confused shadows of a fight. The howl had sounded like a werewolf, but he couldn't think why one of them would attack such a large group of leviathan.

Others were joining the battle now. He thought he saw a wolf bound into the clearing, shifting into a man in time to knock the blade out of a leviathan's hand. Someone leaped onto the altar, feet on either side of Castiel's body, and when they arched back to let out a scream of challenge he caught sight of their fangs.

Werewolves, skinwalkers, vampires...what could have brought them all together to challenge the leviathan?

A smaller, slight figure slipped out of the trees and dropped to her knees beside the altar. “Castiel?”

He stared at her, at the long brown hair and intense, dark eyes. “Lenore?”

The vampire smiled in relief. “Hold on, I'm gonna cut you free.” She grabbed the scalpel that Tema had dropped and sawed at the ropes that held Castiel's wrists and ankles. There was nothing she could do for his injuries, but if he could get off the angel trap then his grace might be able to purge the rest of theone of leviathan blood.

“Can you stand?” Lenore asked, leaning close to be heard over the din of battle.

“Angel trap,” Castiel shook his head. “We need to break one of the lines.”

Lenore studied the trap for a moment, then picked up a fallen rock from beside the altar. She brought it down on one edge of the trap, hammering at it over and over until one of the intersecting lines crumbled into itself.

His grace broke free with a howl, though it wasn't quite enough to restore his full strength. He rolled off the altar with Lenore's help, accepting her enhanced strength to stay upright. “We have to go,” she said, wrapping his arm around her slender shoulders. “The others will keep the leviathan distracted.”

Castiel focused on the vampire at his side as she lead him, stumbling, away from the light of the clearing into the woods. Questions swirled in his head, but he made himself focus on staying upright and following Lenore as she lead him deeper into the shadows of the trees.

“Where are we going?” he asked as they stumbled down a faint trail. The sound of battle was growing fainter, but they were still too close for Castiel's liking.

“I just have to get you away,” Lenore explained. “When he finds us he can explain.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to ask who 'he' was, but something crashed into them and sent them tumbling to the forest floor. Lenore was wrenched from Castiel's side and flung deeper into the trees, then Tema was picking Castiel up and slamming him against a nearby tree, a feral growl deep in his chest.

“Where do you think you're going?” he snarled.

“I was gonna ask you the same thing,” a deeper voice drawled from behind Tema. Before the leviathan had time to respond he was torn away from Castiel. The angel had a glimpse of a tall figure with broad shoulders throwing the leviathan to the ground, before Lenore managed to make it back to his side.

“Come on,” she urged, tugging him forward. She held him up when he stumbled and together they limped down the faint trail. “Benny's got this, we need to move.”

“Benny?” Castiel tried to look behind them but Lenore pulled on his arm.

“We have to go,” she insisted.

Cas?

“Dean?”

Cas, I hope you can hear me.

Dean was praying. Castiel grit his teeth and limped after Lenore, forcing his exhausted body to keep moving forward as his friend's words echoed in his mind. Words of pain and absolution, as cathartic for man as for angel. He focused on the words instead of his ailing body, until his legs collapsed as the last dregs of strength left him.

“Get back up, please, we're almost there,” Lenore urged.

Castiel let the vampire leaver him back up, but he was forced to lean most of his weight on her to stay standing. “Where are you taking me?”

“To the rift. One of our scouts found it, we followed your trail from there. Benny thought the leviathan might be trying something when they left your human friend behind to take you to their altar.”

“'Course I was right, hot wings,” Benny announced, shoving his way through the undergrowth to join them. “Summoning Mama from the underworld. Guess they thought it was poetic to use you.”

Castiel studied the vampire, too exhausted to be surprised at his presence. “They told us you were dead.”

Benny threw his head back and laughed. “Me? Darlin, there ain't a creature in here that would lay a hand on me except Mama's little bitches. They all know the Winchesters sent me here to run the place.”

“That's not what happened,” Castiel protested, brow furrowed.

Benny held a finger to his lips and winked. “Our little secret, Cas.”

“We should get moving,” Lenore interrupted. “Dean should reach the rift before long.”

“Wait,” Castiel pulled back when Benny stepped forward to support him. “I can't go back.”

“Not again, Cas,” Benny growled. “You know it almost killed Dean last time? You're goin' back with him if I have to chuck you through the rift with my bare hands.”

Castiel shook his head. “We came here for something. A leviathan blossom. I can't leave until I find one of those.”

The vampires exchanged a puzzled glance. “Why do you want one of those?” Lenore asked.

“We need it to stop God.”

Silence fell between the three of them, then Benny raised his hands and chuckled. “I'm not even gonna ask. Lenore, you get hot wings here to the rift, I'll go get him his little flower.”

With a final wave the big vampire trotted off, leaving Lenore to wrap one arm around Castiel's waist to support him as they made their way toward the rift.

“I never got the chance to apologize,” Castiel said after a few minutes had passed.

“To me?” Lenore shook her head. “For what?”

“For ending your life. I was caught up with the complications of my own deceptions and never considered another alternative. You would potentially have returned to yourself once we destroyed Eve.”

“Castiel, I had killed someone,” Lenore replied gently. “I was so sickened with myself for doing it, and it was even worse because I didn't want to stop. I was grateful, really. I died while I still had control of my mind, not when I was the monster I'd fought to be my whole life.

“And this place may not be heaven, but it's getting better. There's a group of us who look out for each other now. It's not the same constant struggle for survival it was before Benny returned.”

“Is he the king of Purgatory?”

Lenore gave a soft laugh. “Maybe someday,” she said as the soft glow of the rift came into sight.

“Cas?” Dean was there, next to the rift, phone in his hand. Castiel could see the timer still counting down, just a few minutes left until the rift would close. The hunter's eyes were wide, then he was striding across the clearing and pulling Castiel into an embrace.

It hurt—Dean was unintentionally putting pressure on the wounds in Castiel's sides—but he let himself soak in the warmth of his friend's arms. “Dammit, man, I didn't think you were gonna make it.”

“I wouldn't have without Lenore's assistance,” Castiel explained as Dean stepped back, maintaining a supportive hold on Castiel's arm.

“Who?” Dean glanced at the vampire, who was waiting a few paces away. His brow furrowed for a moment in concentration, then he straightened up. “Hey, aren't you...?”

Lenore tilted her head. “I wish it were under better circumstances, but it's good to see you again.”

“Yeah...” Dean nodded. “Thanks for...” he trailed off, jerking his head toward Castiel.

“You'd better hurry,” Lenore said. “I think you only have a few minutes.”

Castiel pulled back against Dean as the hunter turned for the rift. “What about Benny?”

“Benny?” Dean whipped back around. “He's alive?”

“He said he would try to find a leviathan blossom.”

Lenore shook her head. “I'm sorry, but I don't think that's possible. They just aren't very common, and most of them are heavily guarded by the leviathan themselves. I don't think he can find one and make it back in time.”

“Aw, where's your faith in me? You're breakin' my heart.” Benny leaped down from one of the trees above them, straightening up to his full height when he landed and holding a bright red blossom in front of Castiel with a teasing grin. “Your flower, sweetheart?”

Castiel rolled his eyes but accepted the blossom. “I am not your sweetheart,” he grumbled.

Benny winked at him and turned to Dean, pulling the hunter into a one-armed hug. “Good to see you, brother.”

“Benny, man,” Dean slapped the vampire on the back. “They said you were dead.”

“Can't believe you lost faith in me. Hot wings over there I can handle, but you, Dean? For shame.”

Dean managed a weak chuckle. “Hey, man, we could really use your help with what's going on.”

Castiel stiffened. While he had no grudge against the vampire, he wasn't sure it was such a good idea to invite him back to the living world. Especially with Lenore right there, with no way for her to crossover.

But Benny was already shaking his head. “Sorry, Dean. I got a lot of people back here who need me now.”

“Yeah,” Dean let out a sigh, hefting Castiel a little closer for support. “Well, you take care of yourself.”

Lenore had slipped up to Benny's side, and Castiel thought he saw her slide her hand into the bigger vampire's. “We'll catch you next time,” Benny said.

Dean held a hand up in farewell, then turned to help Castiel through the rift. “Crazy vamp,” he muttered. “How many times does he think we're gonna come back here?”

Judging by the peal of laughter from Benny just before the rift snapped shut, the vampire had heard them.

And, judging by the grin on Dean's face, that had been his intent.

[shirtlesssammy]

8x22: Clip Show

Then:

Cas almost gets hit on by Dean 

Now:

Lost Creek, Colorado

A couple are at a cabin in the woods, and the woman is so happy that her boyfriend finally joined her. He acts like it’s no big deal but we flash back to a memory —specifically of Supernatural season 1, episode 2: Wendigo. He’s Tommy and has some serious PTSD from the terror he experienced that night in the woods.

He thinks he hears a growl and pulls his girlfriend away from the window. He knows that a Wendigo is outside and pulls out a flare to take the unseen monster out. He crumples to the floor and then just explodes right in front of his girlfriend. Eeerp.

At the bunker, the brothers continue to find records that the Men of Letters have kept over the years. Sam’s not doing so well due to all the Trials. He’ll feel better once they finish them.

Cas shows up in the war room, and it appears that Dean and Cas didn’t follow the golden rule of not going to bed angry. Dean doesn’t even acknowledge the angel. Cas is still convalescing. He sits down to talk with Sam a bit about the trials. Dean comes back with food for Sam—well, jerky, beer, and peanut butter cups. 

Cas offers to go with Dean for more food, but still gets the cold shoulder. “I’m sorry.” “For what?” “For everything.” Classic DeanCas, lol. (Brb, off to throw myself off a cliff.) Oh wait there’s more, Dean calls out Cas with the whole bolting with the angel tablet and adds, “You didn’t trust me?” 

THESE BOYS ARE NOT IN LOVE:

Cas is contrite but Dean is not accepting his apology. Sam stays out of it all for a bit but interrupts eventually to pull Dean aside to make it clear that Cas is one of the good guys. What’s that saying? Dean’s harder on Cas because he loves him the most? Well, meh, I do like their later seasons of grumpy banter more than the divisiveness of right now.

In any event, the brothers head to a storage room. 

Sam wants to find a case that their records mentioned. He finds the box, and Dean finds a dungeon! Sam’s box contained a movie film.

They set up the movie (They even made popcorn, guys!)

It’s an old black and white film of the Men of Letters. Josie, the woman that Abaddon possessed, is filming the experiment. They have a demon captured in the very dungeon the Winchesters just discovered. They throw holy water on the demon, recite an incantation at it, and then one priest cuts his hand and presses it on the demon. It flares out, apparently gone. The film stops. It was weird (!!!) One of the priests is still alive and Sam thinks it’s a good idea to get the lowdown on what they just watched on the film. Cas wants to go too but Dean won’t hear of it. (Brb, flinging myself off another cliff. DO NOT LIKE.)

Cut to the brothers meeting with the priest. He tells them that the other priest believed that demons could be saved. He thought that they could cure the demon and they could be a normal human soul again. There were other experiments after that one attempt, and then the priest ended up dead a couple months later. Something had torn him apart. Sam tries asking about records but goes into a coughing fit, complete with blood. He heads to the bathroom while Dean continues to talk with the priest. The priest agrees to give them the other priest’s papers.

Meanwhile, Cas is on a mission to make up with Dean. He’s at a Gas ’n Sip and pulling all the essentials to make Dean like him again.

Ways to woo Dean Winchester:

Beef Jerky

Porn

TP

Beer

Protein

AND Smiting the sap who can’t provide the pie

Cas almost smites the poor attendant. Metatron interrupts. They need to talk.

He wants to talk about Heaven. It’s apparently a mess up there without the archangels. Naomi isn’t in charge as much as she’s led Cas believe. Cas blames himself for everything that’s happened in heaven. (URGH, no! —I mean, yeah, but NO). Metatron thinks they can buddy up and save the day! They can sort everything out. First, they need to shut down Heaven. Then he mentioned crepes and flies away.

At the bunker, Sam can’t find Cas. Dean doesn’t care (URGH, no!) They decide to watch the last audio recording before the priest died.

Once again, there’s a demon in chains. This time, the priest injects the demon with purified blood. He continues to do this 8 times. And the demon seems to be cured. 

They decide to try the experiment out on their own decapitated Abaddon.

Meanwhile, Cas flaps over to Metatron’s brunch location, a cute restaurant with an outdoor patio overlooking the water. It’s a perfect place to relax!

Iconic dialogue alert: 

Waitress: Cool coat.

Cas: No, it's actually quite warm.

Waitress: Cute and funny. Okay…

Metatron: I should have picked a better looking vessel.

You’re not here to accidentally flirt with the waitstaff, Castiel! Cas asks for clarification on Metatron’s quest to close the gates of Heaven. Metatron waves it away as just another godly safety switch - you’ve got one for leviathans, demons, and Heaven, of course. Metatron tells Cas that it’s time for a heavenly lock-in to work out all their feelings. And he needs Cas, the warrior, to do it. Cas owns to feeling responsibility for the current state of Heaven but recoils when he hears the first trial. He’ll need to cut out the heart of the cute waitress, the sole nephilim on earth. (Pronounced in this episode as neph-IL-im.) “What’s more important?” Metatron asks. “Her life? Or your family?”

With season 9 under my belt, I watch Dean and Sam sewing Abaddon’s head on with particular horror. Like, you took on the Mark of Cain to defeat her, Dean Bean. Which led to a whole bucket of depression and sad men. Nobody likes buckets of sad men. (JK obviously I love it or what am I even doing here?) What a spectacularly bad idea! Still, it wouldn’t be my beloved show if characters were making smart choices. Abaddon wakes up, cracks her stitched neck, and greets them with “Morning, sunshines.” 

“I can’t wait to tear out those pretty green eyes,” she says, lovingly. The Winchesters smirk, drawing her attention to her handless state. (They chopped off her hands - or maybe just left them detached.)  “I’ll stump you to death,” she says and...that’s the spirit, Abaddon! She knows about the priest and his work curing demons. In fact, she was a special dispatch straight from Hell to make an example of him. The priest led her to Josie and possessing Josie helped her dismantle the entire Men of Letters network. Yeesh. 

The phone rings. It’s Crowley! Abaddon is appalled to learn that Crowley is the King of Hell. Dean and Sam leave the room to talk to Crowley and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BOYS they leave Abaddon alone. 

Outside, the Winchesters chat with Crowley. He directs them to some news stories, “sexts” them an address, and bids them farewell. They discover that Crowley’s been putting out hits on people the Winchesters have saved. 

While Crowley’s giving them the news, Abaddon makes like Thing from the Addams family and puppets her hands out of the loosely closed box on the table.

Her hand crawls into her mouth and pries out the demon trap bullet. It’s freedom time, mofos. 

The Winchesters return to find Abaddon gone. You FOOLS! Sam keeps his eyes on the prize, though. Crowley’s latest address is from their “witches and baked goods” case and is clearly a trap. Time to make a play to catch themselves a different demon. 

Prosperity, Indiana

The power’s out in the target’s apartment (and so are the cupcakes! yum!) Unfortunately, Jennie’s body is also out - sticking out of the oven, that is. “You were a great gal, Jennie Klein,” Dean says and...okay? Great mourning, everyone. 

Crowley calls them up again. He’s killing off everyone they’ve saved (and using the books as a reference guide) until they deliver the demon tablet to him. 

Metatron and Castiel stalk the waitress outside her place of work, Metatron goading Cas to make a choice. Urg. It’s just the bad decisions gang all around. She whirls around to confront them and saves them the trouble of introductions. “I could see your halos.” (I start to hum Beyoncé to avoid thinking about this next part.) Metatron calls her an abomination and she begs to be allowed to just live her life. (She apparently works twelve hours shifts as a waitress, for heaven’s sake. It’s not like she’s exploiting her power.) Cas looks disturbed, apologizing even as he advances on her. She throws him across the grounds like he’s nothing and then advances on Metatron. Castiel kills her from behind. Oof. 

The Winchesters race to the next location, only to discover Sarah - the art dealer Sam flirted heavily with several seasons ago. She’s staying in a seriously adorable hotel room, with actual art on display. Dean greets her like he’s just dropped by for a casual visit. OMG Dean. Sam briefs her on the plan. Devil’s traps at all the exits, shotguns, and an exorcism ready to play on loop. We learn that Sarah’s married with a kid. (Sam gets a peek at what-could-have-been.) Sarah tells him that he’s changed - he’s more confident and grown up. She misses the old haircut. Awww… 

Crowley calls and starts counting down and when he reaches zero, Sarah starts to choke. She collapses. “You son of a bitch!” Dean shouts. “Son of a witch,” Crowley clarifies - his mother taught him a few useful spells. The Winchesters start tearing apart the room to try and find a hex bag. Crowley continues his villain monologue: he’s keeping all things hell-related far away from the Winchesters - no more demons getting close enough for them to kill. 

“I think the people you save, they're how you justify your pathetic little lives. The alcoholism, the collateral damage, the pain you've caused – the ONE thing that allows you to sleep at night, the one thing is knowing that these folks are out there, still out there happy and healthy because of you, you great, big, bloody heroes!”

I mean, when Crowley’s right, he’s right. 

Sarah dies. Ugh. UGH. Crowley gives an ultimatum: they stop their quest to close Hell or people keep dying. In rage, Dean hurls the phone across the room. When it breaks, they finally find the hex bag. (Me: But okay she only stopped breathing a minute ago? Start CCR and call 911!)

Back at the bunker, Sam is Not Okay™ and does not respond well to Dean’s attempts to cheer him up. Sam, who continues to look awful and exhausted, suggests giving in to Crowley. “We’ll kick it in the ass like we always do,” Dean insists. Rousing speech, babe. 

We fade to black, with everyone we love on dark paths of one kind or another.

______________________________

I NEED Quotes:

Well, that was weird with three exclamation points.

I NEED pie.

I can't wait to tear out those pretty green eyes.

First things first – what are you wearing?

You’d better find him toot-bloody-sweet. 

I know this is insane, but insane is kind of what we do.

______________________________

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[thickest-antivirus-programs]

I just had a dream that

i was in 2 sequential episodes of bojack horseman (and watching them with my mom) they looked live actiony but everything else was bojack but he wasnt rich he was just like that. Another dream was fading out of me on a trip on a bike and showing nature photos i took to my ex physical therapist, i needed a way to get back and i met a guy with the personality of bojack. We were gonna go via this super modern train and he said he was gonna pay for tickets but he just didnt buy them and we got kicked out after 10 minutes on the train, we went through some brutalist tunnels with our luggage (im making this up after i woke up it wasnt in the dream but: i think the plan was to walk to anoter station after the train makes a loop around the city and try again, paying on the train for the tickets?) anyway at first he was drawwing my luggage at first but he said it was too heavy so we split the luggage perfectly in 2 and it grew another handle and extra wheels. I guess we didnt make it bc exiting a tunnel we saw the trainon our way. It was so big and in the air on some cables (not a thing with travel trains only cable cars) and it had a green tinted glass floor so we could see all the seats. It looked like it was coming towards us but it went above us, and it was super long so we watched the end of the train catch up turn around all the curves of the city, still in the distance (it was about 5-6 meters wide and like a kilometer long) another weird thing was it didnt use separate stations to stop it went through the street and stopped to grab people from the sidewalk once or twice per city and since it was so big, the whole city was the station. Next part of the dream someone (i think the guy or possibly another characters inner monologue) talked about the cool monsters sabotaging the train regularily. There were some obvious ones like a spider, there was one that looked like one-one from infinity train i dont remember them all but the cool one i keep thinking abt is the pink with yellow lime and blue accents huge PLUSHIE who had the doc oc back arms (also made of plushie), black eyes and a mouth of sharp teeth and they were about 3m tall (about the size of lady dimitresque, or the biggest size you can be in a relationship with someone before macrophilia rules apply) nonbinary and had anger issues and were sort of the most well known local monster (but the whole group was only mean to law obiding citizens so we were hoping to meet them) and i wasnt there it was a story told by another chara but somehow i saw the monsters destroying a concrete building and the plushie was being super hot and evil. Final part of the dream when my mom started watching was a halloween episode, princess carolyn who was talking about meeting the guy and possibly the other monsters as she entered the city. we quickly found out the whole thing was a gore episode and we couldnt watch it, highlights include sucking out eyeballs with a vaccuum, accupuncture with nails (super close up) , limb swapping using a saw and sewing thread, and like, drowning with the camera underwater and other deaths supposedly in the first 3 minutes of the episode

[minhyukie]

your oral presentation abt joohyuk was soso cute!! can you give us your onion about the other _____hyuk ships as well !! :O

Ahhhh I Love your Voice

this would be too much to fit into a voice note anyway fjdskf and i think doing Every single mx pairing would be a bit too much for my tiny brain but!!  i’m gonna talk about each minhyuk pairing under the cut, im not sure if they’ll be as enjoyable as the joohyuk one (i feel like im probably best at talking about them since they’re my favorite) but i hope this is what u guys were looking for :D

showhyuk – i feel like their dynamic is v beneficial especially to shownu, bc minhyuk literally thinks sooo so greatly of shownu like u can tell how much he admires him!! he’s always praising shownus looks and strengths in variety and his actions reflect it as well – during the vlive they did abt law of the jungle, minhyuk literally only seemed to care about shownu monitoring him and shownu’s opinions on how he did because he respects shownu in variety so much, and although minhyuk was originally the member who mx seemed to want to point towards variety shownu ended up being that person instead and i think in shownu’s mind it still means a lot to be thought of that highly by minhyuk, who he views as being so good at speaking and variety.. they both just admire each other a lot in that respect and i think its v good for each of them. also – im partially taking this from what i saw a friend say once, but i think minhyuk helps relieve shownu sometimes from the responsibilities of being a leader… shownu is a great leader i’ve said and explained it so many times but also as they said in the one mxray episode it puts a lot on his shoulders and although he is able to handle it well, i think minhyuk really helps to relieve it because he also acts as their leader in so many ways!! and showhyuk really has a soft spot in my heart bc out of all the members, i feel like shownu really loves minhyuk the way he is the most.. when he said during no exit broadcast that he actually loves it when minhyuk talks a lot.. that’s a statement that i think is beyond what many of the other members feel.. i think the way shownu and minhyuk are actually quite opposite really draws shownu into minhyuk and it’s honestly surprising to me how much shownu just.. loves him? he loves being physically close with minhyuk.. and im no Expert on shownu pairings but i rly dont observe shownu behaving that way with the other members as compared to how he … i wish i could make a gifset compilation of it i think about it all the time but shownu is always reaching out to hold minhyuk’s hand… there are so many subtle moments and honestly it’s almost always shownu initiating it.. and obviously the sweet bed scene from right now with minhyuk cuddling up to him, and also at the end of the liev minhyuk did a similar thing.. and how he lets minhyuk quite literally crawl onto him both during the liev, and the moment at isac.. it’s not even shownu just “tolerating” it or anything but whenever he has these physical interactions with minhyuk i can really see how much he loves it?? it’s something v unique to the two of them and i dont think any of the other members react the same way to minhyuk and like i said it’s just. i really feel like shownu loves minhyuk So Much the way he is… i lvoe them…

wonhyuk – THEYRE SOOO CUTE AN D FUNNIE FJDKSLFDS 2017 was a blessing in the wonhyuk vlives it gave us and it rly opened my perspective to their relationship which i honestly think is so complex beyond what im going to say i feel like… it’s hard for me to discuss abt them bc i think a lot of what im abt to say is a lot more my opinion and speculation than me actually having any idea what’s going on!! their relationship really just goes from one extreme to the other bc one one hand they are soo wild like.. they really have no physical boundaries.. when i was coming up with moments to put in my possessive minhyuk gifset i just kept on coming up with more wonhyuk moments i really considered just making it a wonhyuk gifset at one point bc i couldn’t come up with anything else?? a lot of it is minhyuk to wonho but sometimes even the other way around.. but their relationship is also v intimate emotionally? and this is where i sort of trip up and im not sure about a lot of things.. the obvious place to point is the radio show where wonho talked about each of the members and shared about how important minhyuk was to him and how much he had been leaning on and relying on him as a source of comfort… but beyond that it gets a bit fuzzy? it’s very fascinating to watch the two of them and how they support each other, whether its minhyuk encouraging wonho to speak up or during a meet and greet where minhyuk was starting to fret about his role as MC in the background and you could see wonho comforting him and telling him he was doing well.. i think that maybe they’ve shared with each other a lot on these sorts of topics and insecurities, and i think they both share a bit in that aspect (at least at that point in time) about being afraid to say the wrong thing and the way they both search for peoples’ approval.. but then 2017 hit!! and now they’re really just TWO CHILDREN FJDKLSFDS THEYRE SO CUUUTE the way they bicker with each other and i think its almost like they can both be as completely immature as possible with each other while knowing it’s reciprocated? the fact that wonho can say “i wish minhyuk would disappear” without any fear of misunderstanding or annoyance.. the way minhyuk cutely kept saying he wanted wonho to see him as a friend.. their dynamic is really so fascinating to me even moreso recently… also sidenote but it’s cute how wonho doesn’t like eating alone and i know minhyuk didn’t join him for that one vlive (i genuinely believe he was busy) but if u think back to the vlives they did together this year it was always minhyuk joining wonho to eat… :-( i feel like minhyuk rly understands when wonho is a bit needy and is happy to be there for him… like i said it’s hard for me to coherently put thoughts together about the two of them, i feel like i don’t have as strong of a grasp on their dynamic, but i would love to see more :D

kihyuk – Best!! Fucking!! Friends!! like i know im saying this abt every pairing but i truly feel that these two understand each other on some next level, they could literally share a glance and know what the other one is thinking.. minhyuk could tell kihyun to go fuck himself and kihyun would just laugh his ass off with the brightest happiest eyes like… fdjklsfds the video i just recently reblogged where minhyuk was like “kihyun was so good at acting but i hate so much when he gets into the role i hate him” and kihyuns reaction?? FOR WHY. .. WAS HE SO HAPPY FKDSJLFDS… the most important kihyuk thing to me is really just how well they fundamentally understand each other… with regards to minhyuk understanding kihyun, its actually just funny to me because minhyuk just gets so offended when anyone else tries to say Anything about kihyun because He Wants To Be The One To Talk About His Best Friend.. mxray ep6… everytime that psychoanalyst opened his mouth about kihyun minhyuk immediately butted in he wanted everyone to know that He knew the most he knew it all already.. he felt so relieved whenever the psychoanalyst guy said things he already knew.. minhyuk loves putting his thoughts on kihyun out there jfdkslfds but the more soft and meaningful example would be their second year anniversary video – the way minhyuk explained kihyuns role on the team is genuinely the most heartfelt and well worded explanation i’ve heard… even though it’s rly hard for minhyuk to show it he Knows how much kihyun does and respects and cares for him so much, looks after him silently.. and it’s very much so returned, bc kihyun is the only member who i’ve seen accurately pin down (several times) that minhyuk’s weak point or the thing that he wishes minhyuk would fix is that he overthinks his own performance, he overthinks variety and worries too much in many aspects.. while this is something minhyuk himself is also aware of i’ve never seen the other members bother to mention it but kihyun has talked abt it on several occasions and how he wishes minhyuk could be happier by not worrying so much and i think that shows so much about how well they understand each other and their emotions. it’s fascinating to me how much they’ve changed, they used to be so soft and cute with each other, but it’s grown to the point where they struggle being outwardly nice to each other with cameras around and minhyuk especially is so embarrassed to be honest and nice around kihyun but it works amazingly well between the two of them because kihyun is able to take whatever minhyuk throws at him and either throw it right back or just absorb it and be able to laugh because he Knows minhyuk’s true intentions? i’ve never seen either of them genuinely hurt the other with their sharp words despite all they do is bicker… i lvoe them … :( and kihyun also really just. loves minhyuk? as he is? they literally hang out All THe Time and i’ve said it before as has aleena how.. kihyun keeps on ditching the other members invites to hang out? but minhyuk keeps “complaining” about how kihyun always wants to do things and wherever he goes kihyun is stuck next to him?? they just naturally gravitate towards each other and i cant believe they’re gonna be friends into their next lifetime and that they’re gonna grow up with even their kids being best friends. god im sure i have more to say about them but their friendship is really on another level :-(

hyunghyuk – to be quite honest, a pairing im hesitant to talk about these days, moreso bc it make me uncomfortable the way people talk about them oftentimes? i know that im not one to talk abt them much on my blog but honestly ask any of my friends and they’ll tell u i have the biggest hyunghyuk tunnel vision anymore, like.. im hyperfocused on their interactions.. as an overarching picture, i think their friendship is truly something amazing – they’ve been friends since they were 19, possibly the longest friendship within monsta x, and despite being so very different from each other in so many ways they are able to be so close with such an intimate understanding between the two of them to the point where on one of hyungwons bday messages to minhyuk he said something along the lines of there was nothing more for them to know about each other but that he hopes they continue getting closer and learning more and being good friends.. Strong family vibes :-( while their relationship certainly seems different now than it was a year or two ago, i think that their close bond definitely remains, and i think it’s obvious that they still have massive respect and emotional ties between the two of them… i miss their many close interactions but especially over the past months i feel like they’re returning very much so to the way they used to behave :D

joohyuk – my brain is starting to fry and i think the Joohyuk TED Talk explained most of my feelings pretty well so.. for anyone who didn’t listen here’s the link to that!

changhyuk – my namesake!! :D I LOVE THESE BOYS.. tbh i think i wrote quite a bit about them fairly recently so im not sure if there’s gonna be many new thoughts here but… over the past few months my feelings regarding them have been in a WHIRLWIND i love them so much!! i feel like they’re very similar in so many ways and as such when they’re together they can truly do the craziest things but also have a brotherly bond together? i think i feel similarly to them the way i do about wonhyuk, so, similar to wonhyuk this explanation may not be very coherent or cohesive because it’s hard for me to place everything together. i used to rly think that changhyuk were just like.. fuckin wild.. fuckin out there… because they really do some of the most absurd things fdslfds they really practiced twerking and spanking each other during oi and did it on live stage..  with embarrassed but proud smiles.. they grinded against each other Many times during the most recent ISAC literally acting like they were at a club like.. why in the fuck FJDKLSFDS?? but the more i think about them the less that’s my focus on their relationship, like that’s certainly part of it (a funny and yes enjoyable part) but its so much more than that they are Literally so much like brothers to me and everytime i think of it it honestly brings me to tears because minhyuk really has this fondness and brotherly affection for changkyun that he doesn’t for the other members, and it’s not only apparent through his actions but his words.. but it’s not so much in a way that he views him as a child or anything, but that he just completely respects and trusts changkyun with so much? and he wishes for the same in return from him.. i feel like a lot of people overlook the small details between them, such as minhyuk saying that he goes to changkyun when he’s worried about something or needs to get something off of his chest? that he finds changkyun to be a good listener? and that he loves to lay with changkyun whether it be on their couch or on his bed and listen to changkyun’s stories, everything just throws off such warm and loving vibes and imo it’s Extremely different from minhyuk’s feelings or behaviors towards the other members. the thing that most strongly impacted me and i really cant stop thinking about was from their picnic fanmeeting, there was a vcr where they talked about the members when they weren’t listening and minhyuk very beautifully talked about how it was very obvious to him what changkyun’s emotions were at any moment in time, but changkyun is the type to bottle it up and not want to bother any of the members but how minhyuk wishes he would open it up to them because it’s okay? and he even related it back to his own brother, and how the two of them are the same age, and the entire conversation really just made me realize how much minhyuk views changkyun like his own brother and i :-(( it literally makes me cry.. minhyuk isn’t so much the type to dote on other people, but he does it so much with jooheon but also changkyun and with changkyun it is so much more subtle and often overlooked and it’s a shame! and, one final thing, is that changkyun is SO supportive of minhyuk i feel like he understands a lot of minhyuk’s insecurities (possibly as said above bc i feel like minhyuk opens up to changkyun about these topics a lot?) and openly acts to try to make minhyuk feel more comfortable .. in particular, i’ve been noticing recently how supportive changkyun is about minhyuk’s english which i think could be a point of insecurity for him and seeing changkyun encouraging him to speak in english and helping him and telling him he’s doing well .. small things like that are really good for minhyuk to receive because i feel like since minhyuk tends to come off as a very loud and proud and confident person, it often goes over the members’ heads how much he lives for praise and reassurance as well

[theburialofstrawberries]

will suzy and midge ever fuck? the marvelous mrs. maisel: s2 predictions

the most important detail out of the way first: as of the end of episode 8, midge still hasn’t confirmed to her mother that she and joel are getting back together (remember, her father told her: if she tells her mother, she better get it right). this is, hopefully, revealing.

here’s what i think: it’s obvious from ep 1 that joel is a deeply narcissistic man i.e. his image is his everything. he left midge not because he bombed his routine, but because she saw he had bombed: this is to say his failures & shortcomings (even the ones he is acutely aware of himself) mean nothing as long as the people who play the supporting roles in his life are not aware of them. (other examples: if people saw holes in his turtleneck!; not telling midge they’re in debt to continue the pretence of their rich lifestyle/the pretence of his competence; that he can’t look at penny the same specifically after his parents tell him she’s not the one)

this is why he had to justify him moving out, in a way, on midge: this life is not enough, it’s not what i thought it would be (a narcissistic man would sooner stick his hand on a hot pan than claim personal responsibility). and thus, joel is able to feed himself more lies; able to cloak his mindless affair as justified rebellion from the shackles of married life–that terrible culprit stifling his creative expression (not the fact, like, you know, he sucks ass).

episode 8, IDEALLY, should’ve been the final & true blow to his ego: hearing his weakness become a punchline in his wife’s set to a full audience, a set far superior to his. his wife, introduced by lenny bruce, outperforming him in his dream vocation and using his hypocrisies to do it. everyone’s in on the joke now. and even in this moment, he tries to blame suzy’s influence for the breakdown of his family.

HOWEVER, and SADLY, joel entering and exiting this show a narcissistic asshole would ignore all the developments amy sherman-palladino has laid down in the episodes in between. hence, we have joel punching the men who heckle midge and walking off into the night, dazed, “she’s good. she’s good.”

im fresh off of seeing episode 8, but to my mind: the shift from shame to motivation that makes him draw up concrete plans for midge & the kids’ future; the deliberate unveiling of smaller facades in the marriage (that midge would unhook her bras/“do you always look this way in the morning?”). in fact, midge & joel’s one night stand is filled with genuine warmth and understanding, the MOST outside of any flashback (of which, remember, we have to been treated to MANY of joel being charming & loving). recall also there hasn’t been an episode where we haven’t been offered a joel POV: the narrative is inexorably pushing us towards sympathy. all of this points to a potentially stronger joel who just might, under pain of reform, become a better man.

HOWEVER, HOWEVER:

1) midge has clearly been exploring her own thoughts about women and the tyranny of husbands/marriage/societal expectations at large through her stand-up. it makes heaps of sense to continue on her journey without a man/a nichols/a randall/a joel by her side.

2) we may yet be vindicated: maybe joel punched those guys because his ego snapped so hard he really HAS lost it.

3) midge’s language when she tells her father she and joel and reconsidering their marriage leans heavier on missing “being married” and laughing and companionship, not so much missing joel.

4) after 50 scenes of “are we in this together?”, the “there there” pat pat, suzy staring in dismay at her new telephone, eating burgers and sharing trauma, “i want to be friends!”, the strippers thinking suzy is midge’s boyfriend, suzy’s jaw drop when midge takes off the coat, suzy metaphorically kicking joel in the nuts; basically everything from her shirts & excessive denim to the fact all her male family members are “assholes” and “you’re barking up the wrong tree” LIKE suzy IS a butch and a gay there’s no denying that BUT ALSO the fucking chemistry between her and midge like……the genuine mutual admiration & fondness for each other’s idiosyncrasies….im fucking tearing up. amy sherman-palladino please make this happen

[franeridart]

Hey!!! I hope this isn't weird but, What bands/singers do u like?? My music doesn't makes me exited anymore, which sucks! So im looking for new people to listen to! And i remember u putting a link of one of the new songs of all time low to your kiribaku art and i love that album also you are one of my fave artist so i thought i could ask u too! If u don't mind ofcourse!!! I hope this doesn't bother u! (I guess this is kind of useless info ahhhh i hope u don't mind!)

It’s absolutely not weird so don’t worry about it, but it’s!!!! sort of an hard question to answer because more or less anything that can fall under the very huge umbrella of the rock label is fair game for me haha the two bands I’ve been calling my favorite for longer right now are Alter Bridge and Tremonti, lately I’ve been really into Nothing More, I have a super weak spot for Halestorm too right now - I like most post-hardcore, but Pierce The Veil and Bring Me The Horizon are my faves? But, well, all this stuff is really different compared to All Time Low… since you liked them you could try Tonight Alive or One OK Rock! You Me At Six work too I think, and… Andy Black’s solo album was more pop-ish but on the same genre too, so try that one maybe! Oh and Young Guns!!!! I love Young Guns how could I forget them, they’re in this type of punk too! 

Sorry, this isn’t exactly just my faves haha I love music too much, it’s hard to pick a limited number of artists for me rip

Anon said:HIIIIIII!! First of all, i love you and your art. Now, where is the bokuroo???? :C please draw some bokuroo, i miss those two! Maybe some fluffly? But also kiribaku is good, i started shipping those two thanks to you! And sorry for my bad english. Bye bye!!

Hi! Thanks for liking my stuff!!! And I’ve talked about why I’m not drawing much Haikyuu lately right here but to make it easy because of some reasons inspiration is really low in that fandom for me right now so!!! I’ll have to ask you to be patient with the lack of content that might not be changing until Bo and Kuro start being relevant in the manga again

Anon said:Fran… it’s not bc the heat is killing YOU that you have to kill US, what’s with all the beef suddenly. seriously. > : C (jk thank you for it hhh)

LMAO is this about Deku it feels like this is about Deku hahaha

Anon said:I feel like your art style has changed a bit over the few months, all in good way tho! The characters’ dimensions seem to be more dynamic, little things like hands and limbs in general feel very natural. Your Bakugou and Kirishima are both very consistent too and have a nice design to them!

This is my favorite ask ever, I’ve read it fifty times and I’ll probably read it more in the future thank you so much??? I’ve actually been feeling like my style has gotten all over the place lately so knowing you find it consistent and natural means so much to me ;A; you really did make my day, thank you!!!

Anon said:Story challenge! Take your favorite otp’s/ot3’s and give one of them cancer

*sweeps angst under the closest carpet* anon this is weird for some reason I can’t seem to be able to read your ask

Anon said:I swear to the gods Your art is too pure You are responsible for 2/5ths of my bnha pix folder. I loooooooooooooooovvvvveeeeee bakukamikiri now because of yooou *crys because my art isn’t as good*

SOB thank you so much oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:This episode was so intense wow. Can I just say that I absolutely adore Todoroki. This boy deserves so much love

I KNOW RIGHT he’s such a good boy such a pure nerd such a strong sprout I love him so much I’m so so so glad he’s healing !!!!!

Anon said:Hello, can I marry your art? Especially Bakugou with undercut, he stole my heart *^* and holly fuck, you have a big plus from me for knowing “Shark Boy and Lava Girl”. Before I found it, I thought I can’t love you more. How foolish of me. (And you drew my smol yellow husbando from Haikyuu, god bless you my dear)

I don’t know who the yellow husband is exactly but I’m!!!!!!!!!!!! super glad you like my stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you so much holy smokes!!!!!! *O*

Anon said:I had to babysit earlier and the kids were watching lab rats. The line “They’re a boy band I’ve been working on, and the twist is, one of them’s a girl” gave me the biggest bakusquad vibes I’m crying

I’ve been laughing at this ask for seventy-five years you don’t understand hahahaha it’s so accurate p l e a s e best description of the sqaud I’ve ever read lmao

Anon said:I LOVE ALL OF YOUR ART IT’S SO COMFORTING AND CALM AND SMOOTH im crying

THANK YOU OH MY G ODS AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Anon said:I love the way you draw Denki’s hair. I feel like over time, Hori has gradually made the spiky back pieces blend more with the length of the back of his hair, but I personally love it where it looks more like cowlick-y (… I guess I’m making that a word) and messy like how it always looked in the beginning and how you draw it. Why is this boy so unbearably cute?

Ahhhhhh thanksss!!!!!!! I’m glad you like how I draw him cause honestly Horikoshi has no clue what he’s doing while drawing him so actually finding a way to draw his hair that worked was hard - Hori sort of… does whatever! I’ve re-read the first volume lately and Denki didn’t even use to have hair long enough to tie??? He looked so funny, really haha I’m sorta tempted to draw him like that…