#this is one of several pieces i wanna make but i decided to post this one by itself for now before i stall on sharing it indefinitely bc

[rottingraisins]

So I wade out into the very centre of the torrent, the water rushing about my feet as if it still longs to drag me down with him, bearing my brother before me-

-and then I let him go.

[tiredlinguist]

ich kann nicht einschlafen

[subbmissivesuccubus]

No secrets around here ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you all so much for 1K followers <3 <3 <3 I am undeserving but very appreciative. I am working on Bully Part 3 but please have this one shot as a token of my love.

It's a story suggested by my patron! If you'd like to suggest prompts for me to write, please consider checking out my patreon (link in bio) <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Summary : Satoru and Suguru find out that their sweet, seemingly innocent girlfriend writes smutty fanfiction. They decide to make her fantasies come true while also making sure to teach her that keeping secrets from them have consequences <3

Contains : Fem reader. Established relationship. Degradation. Threesome M/M/F. Gojo and Geto being mean but with love. A bit meta.

“Dude- Suguru- SUGURU!”

“Stop yelling, Satoru.” The raven-haired man whined, rubbing a hand over his face as he was barely awake, “You better be dying if you’re calling me at 3 in the morning.”

“Oh, trust me, you’ll wanna hear what I say.”

“Get to the point.”

“Ok, so you know how every time we visit our cutie, she’s super protective of her phone?”

“…Yeah.”

“And how she immediately shuts her laptop close if we walk in?”

“…Yeah.”

“I found out why. I just sent you a link.”

Satoru hung up and Suguru groaned, looking his phone annoyance before the ding of a message received rang out. He raised an eyebrow as he read the message, the link opening upto a website called…tumblr? He was aware of the site but it never interested him enough to truly put any effort into finding out more about it. He also knew of the concept of fanfiction (thanks to a certain someone) and knew that Tumblr had a lot of creators posting their fanmade content.

But he had no idea it was…something like this.

Reader is being a brat and gets put in her place – Fem Reader X Demon Slayer men.

Where the men of One-Piece love to cum <3

Dick headcannons, a.k.a. who among the Honkai men are packing~

Suguru scoffed as he scrolled down the posts, surprised at how lewd this author was. Their writing was filthy and degenerate yet written fairly well. If he wasn’t so sleepy, Suguru was sure he could jerk off to a story or two. The comments under the posts were just as feral, people going crazy over the fanfictions, often proclaiming their desire to be with these…fictional men? He didn’t quite understand it but who was he to judge.

He paused as he read the title of a post, letting out a hum as the title hit a bit close to home.

Reader gets pounded roughly by her two boyfriends.

It was a post with thousands of notes which got Suguru curious. He clicked on the tag labelled #two boyfriends and was surprised to see several stories written by the author of the reader having two lovers and their sexual escapades together:

Reader gets both her holes stuffed with cock. Or the two boyfriends compete to see who can get her to squirt first. Reader is spanked silly and can’t sit properly for days. As punishment, the two boyfriends overstimulate the reader for hours, making her cum over and over again even as she begged them to stop.

The list went on and on and on, making the blood rush to Suguru’s cheeks at how raw and filthy and…desperate these fanfictions were.

His phone dinged, a message from Satoru which reminded the black-haired man of how he wound up here to begin with. So there are some smutty fiction online, but what does it have to do with you? He could only come up with one conclusion but…that couldn’t be it. Right?

Satoru <3 : Did you see all the two boyfriends fics?

Me : Yeah. You’re not saying that…she wrote all of this, are you?

Suguru waited with bated breath as the three dots danced on his screen, Satoru typing out the answer. You were someone who refused to even curse in daily conversation! There was no way… He choked as he got a response, Satoru simply saying:

What do you say we show our baby how much better her real boyfriends are?

~~~~~

“Boys!” you whined as Suguru and Satoru stuck close to you, one on either side, “I’m trying to cook here!” “We’re not stopping you!” Satoru said with a pout as he placed his cheek on top of your hair, “We just wanna be close to our baby. Is that so bad?” “Exactly.” Suguru purred as a hand came up to wrap around your waist, pressing himself close to you, “Is loving you such a crime?”

You rolled your eyes at their theatrics. One thing worse than having one dramatic boyfriend would be having two. Not that you were complaining, of course. How on Earth could you be upset over having the two most powerful sorcerers be your lovers? It sometimes felt like a dream- that these two had fallen in love with you and were over by your place for a domestic night of homecooked food and movies. They were more clingy than usual, a hand or lips always on your body at all times. You caught them exchanging glances with each other once in awhile but you simply ignored it. It wasn’t the first time your men had this telepathic communication going on between them. As long as they weren’t planning on pranking you, you decided to simply focus on the meal you were cooking.

“So, babe,” Satoru purred as he placed a kiss to the crown of your head, “You’re on Tumblr a lot, right?”

You scoffed, “You know I am. Why’d you ask? You finally wanna join?”

“I sure do!” he responded, “And if you had told me about all the porn that was on that website, I would have joined sooner.”

“Porn?” you repeated, confused, “What are you talking about? It doesn’t allow-”

“All of that smutty fanfiction- I was up all night reading them!”

You froze, hoping that the two of them didn’t notice. “Oh, uh, yeah there’s a lot of that.”

“And, you know, we found this…writer.” Suguru said, his voice dripping like honey as his hand ran up and down your waist, “Who writes the most…filthy things. Degradation, spankings, brat taming, not to mention threesomes between two men and a woman. Kind of similar to us, right?”

You gulped, trying to focus on your food even though your mind was running a mile. Did they know? How did they find out? You were so careful of your things! You always made sure to have an eye on your phone and laptop so how did they…

“Well, only the threesome parts.” Satoru said, “We’re not nearly as kinky as the people in those stories. We could be, of course, but we wouldn’t want to scare our baby with how…intense we can be, right?”

“Of course.” Suguru purred, leaning forward to kiss your temple, his lips soft against your skin, “Our sweet princess is so innocent and vanilla. How on Earth can we treat her like the girls in those smutty, dirty stories? We have to make love to her like the Queen she is. There’s no way our baby would like to be punished or have her pussy filled until she’s bred.”

“Exactly.” Satoru said, noting the way your breathing was quickening, smiling as he saw your ears turn red, “Unless…there’s something she’s not telling us.” You gasped as his hand trailed down your back, making you shiver before it landed on your ass. You mewled as he grabbed a cheek harshly, his fingers digging into your plush skin, both of them so close to you that you could feel their hot breath against your burning face.

“So, sweetheart.” Suguru said, a twinkle in his eye as he turned off the heat of the stove, gently taking your utensils out of your hands, “Anything you’d like to share?”

You gulped, Satoru squeezing you greedily and making it difficult for you to form sentences, “H-How did you find out?”

“Well, I might have peeked at your phone when you left it unlocked yesterday.” Satoru confessed, “I wasn’t planning on looking but when I saw the notification of someone begging you to write more of your threesome content, well, curiosity got the better of me.”

“Our baby has such naughty fantasies,” Suguru said, not giving you a chance to respond “But she kept it all to herself like a bad little girl. Why didn’t you tell us?” he leaned down to nibble at your ear, loving the cute yelp you let out, “Did you think we’d judge you?”

“I- I don’t know…” you mumbled, face so red it felt like steam was coming out your ears, “It’s…embarrassing- ah!” Suguru moved downwards and kissed your neck, his teeth digging into the sensitive patch of your skin, making you cry out loud. Satoru pouted before he let go of your ass, only to swing his hand down and give your butt a sharp slap, making you yell loudly.

“We could have been fucking you like the dirty slut you are, but instead, we held ourselves back because we didn’t want to scare you off.” Satoru growled, his hand making its way to your hair, grabbing a handful before he pulled harshly. You gasped as your head was tossed back, your boyfriends face looking down on you as his grip on your hair continued to be tight and unforgiving.

“Every time we fuck you- we’ve wanted to go wild.” Suguru confessed, his large hand slipping into your shirt, making you shiver as he touched your bare skin, “So next time, just be honest and save us the trouble, hmm?”

“You’re going to make it up to us.” Satoru said, leaning down to kiss your lips, a quick peck before he pulled away, a dark look in his eyes, “Get ready. We’re making those fantasies come true.”

~~~~~

Your hands trembled, instinctively tugging at the handcuffs that held you tight against the headboard. The cool metal dug into your skin, showing no signs of letting up. Hands handcuffed above your bed, naked as the day you were born, you were at the mercy of your two men and they made sure of that.

Suguru giggled at your cute little yelp as he increased the speed of the vibrator, his grip of the wand tightening before he pressed it down harder on your clit. You screamed around Satoru’s cock, the man’s dick shoved down your throat, making you gag. He was practically straddling your head, knees on either side of your shoulders while Suguru sat between your spread legs, their eyes greedily taking in your nakedness.

“Yeah? You like that?” Satoru asked, looking down at you with a teasing grin on his face, sweat dripping down his brow. He was naked, veins throbbing in his arms as he gripped onto the headboard tightly, rolling his hips into your face, groaning at the sensation of you trying your best to take his fat dick. “You like that vibrator on your slutty little pussy, don’t you? Hmm? Like having my cock down your throat?” he asked, pausing his thrusting for a second to fully press his cock deep inside you, laughing as he felt you gag loudly around him.

“Oh, she loves it~” Suguru purred, dick aching in his boxers (wearing nothing but his underwear) as he ground the wand vibrator against you, mercilessly attacking your clit, “Her cunt is dripping~”

“Poor baby~ You must be so pent up since we’ve been making love to you like you were a princess. Guess we have to fuck you like a whore, hmm?” Satoru asked, biting his lower lip as he started thrusting into your mouth again. His muscles tensed, tossing his head back to moan as your sweet little tongue lapped at the underside of his cock, his heavy balls pressing against your chin every time he thrust.

“Stay. Still.” Suguru said with a click of his tongue as one arm gripped onto your knee tightly, the other still torturing you with the vibrator, “Keep moving your legs like that and I’ll punish you.”

You whined, your sounds taken by Satoru’s member, your body getting overstimulated. With a fat cock down your throat and Suguru playing with your pussy, you couldn’t help but start trembling, trying to push your legs together to give yourself a break from the onslaught on your cunt- but Suguru was having none of that.

He ignored your yelp as he pulled the vibrator away, taking away your pleasure so suddenly. But you barely had time to process that as he raised his hand and brought it down on your pussy, giving it a harsh, tight slap. You screamed from the pain, the vibrations of your mouth making Satoru moan as Suguru started spanking your pussy again and again. Slap after slap rained down on your cunt, the raven-haired man holding one leg tightly by the ankle while pushing away the other with his knee, truly keeping you spread as he spanked your pussy.

Your whole body writhed from the pain, the stinging sensation of Suguru marking your puffy pussy lips red. Your hands struggled against the handcuffs even more, your torso tossing and turning, Satoru giving you some mercy as he gently pulled his cock out of your mouth.

“Sorry! Fuck- I’m sorry- I’m sorry!” you pleaded through your gasps and coughs, and crying as Suguru slapped your cunt so hard it made you dizzy for a second, “Please- no more!”.

“No more what?”

“No more spankings- P-Please! Please don’t s-spank my p-pussy!” you begged, ears turning red from the embarrassment. You heard Satoru giggle above you, the man clearly more sadistic than you ever imagined as he tugged at his member, enjoying the scene of his best friend breaking you down perfectly. Even him touching himself right in front of you was torturous, your eyes homing in on the precum dripping out of his red tip, his cock covered in your saliva.

“I thought you liked it, baby.” Suguru said, taking some mercy on you as he gently rubbed your cunt, easing some of the burn, “Your characters get their pussy’s spanked so often. Don’t you feel bad for them if it hurts so much?”

“I didn’t- I didn’t know.” You sobbed, “It hurts- fuck- but it hurts so good!”

“Fuuuck Baby!” Satoru groaned, gripping the base of his cock tightly, his face red and excited, “Almost came from that~ I love seeing you look so pathetic for us.”

You whimpered, turning your face to feel Satoru’s warmth as he gently wiped a tear away from your eye. Suguru chuckled, leaning down to place a kiss to your cunt, your skin hot against his lips. Your back arched as he ran his tongue up your pussy, the man groaning as he tasted your slick, drinking you down like a drug.

“Oh~ I want a taste of that pussy too~” Satoru purred before he changed his position. Your eyes widened as he turned around, adjusting himself so his cock was once again over your face only now, he was facing your pussy in a classic 69. “Open up, princess.” He said, smirking as he pushed his cock into your mouth just as you opened your lips, “Suck my cock while we- oh yeah- play with this pussy~”

Satoru grabbed the back of your thighs, holding onto you tightly as he dipped his head between your legs, Suguru moving out of the way so his friend could mouth at your pussy. You squealed around his cock, the man already starting to thrust as he wrapped his lips around your clit before he sucked harshly. “Mmmph- fuck yes~” he moaned, lightly picking up the pace as he once again started fucking your throat, “This pussy is so fucking tasty~”

He opened his mouth wide and started flicking his tongue on your clit, letting out a lewd sound as he tortured your sensitive bud with his tongue. Not one to sit idly by, Suguru allowed his friend to tongue your cunt while he gently slid a finger inside you.

“Look at that. My finger went in so easily, baby.” Suguru said as he gently thrust the finger in and out of you, “This isn’t enough for you, is it?”

You whined around Satoru’s cock, unable to respond. But they understood. Suguru slid a second finger inside you, the slick sound of your cunt parting for him echoing through the air lewdly. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he curled his fingers inside you just right, pussy gushing from the sensation. Satoru was still licking at your clit, giving your bud the occasional nibble to keep you on edge.

“Oh, you like that, don’t you?” Suguru asked as he watched Satoru lick you up, his own fingers drenched, your juices dripping down, “Cock in your mouth as we play with your pussy like you’re our little toy~ Our sweet little fuck toy we can use?”

Your toes curled and your muscles tensed, opening your throat up as much as possible as Satoru mercilessly face fucked you, his balls slapping against you as he chased his pleasure. The metal of the handcuffs dug into your skin, your fingers clenching around nothing as you were driven closer and closer to your orgasm.

You were so close you could taste it, your mind descending into nothing but pleasure, the two men perfectly breaking you down into the slut they know you are. You fantasised about them as you wrote your fanfiction and for it to actually be coming true- you didn’t know how to handle it.

You were so close- so close! Your body tightened and your pussy clenched around Suguru’s fingers, the familiar sensation of an orgasm making itself known. You already knew this would be one of the strongest climaxes you’d experience and it almost scared you. But you were ready. You wanted this. You needed this. You needed them!

Your moans picked up the pace, getting louder and louder around Satoru’s cock, still obediently sucking him off as your body trembled. You were gonna cum! Cumming- cumming-

Only for them to stop.

You let out a scream as Satoru pulled his cock out of your mouth, both of them able to hear your shouts. You arched off the bed, your body trembling from the sudden absence of pleasure, your legs kicking at the mattress like a toddler as you writhed on the bed.

“Why? Why- I was so close- so close!” you sobbed, tugging at the handcuffs in a desperate attempt to touch yourself, only for it to be futile.

“Aww, poor princess.” Satoru cooed, kneeling over you still, his cock dripping your saliva back onto his face lewdly, “did you really think it would be that easy?”

“We’re going to edge you all night.” Suguru said, finally undoing his boxers before pushing it off, getting completely naked, “It’s your punishment for keeping your sluttiness a secret from us.”

You could barely muster up a protest as you were distracted by Suguru’s cock. His cock was just as beautiful as Satoru’s- long, thick and oh so delicious. He took your breath away everytime he got inside you, his skills rendering you a whining mess.

“If you try and cum without us knowing,” Suguru said, knowing your body like the back of your hand and well aware that you were close to your orgasm, “You’re going to be in a world of pain. Now come on. Beg for it.” He started teasingly slapping your pussy with his member, each strike making you twitch, “You know how to beg, right? Your characters beg so sweetly in your stories- I’m sure you can do it too~”

You gulped, mouth drooling and pussy trembling, their hard cocks right in front of you but refusing to get inside you. “P-Please.” You pleaded, feeling a rush of shame overcome you by uttering the word. “Do better than that.” Suguru said, his hand now on his member and lightly stroking it, showing you what you were missing out on. “I- Fuck- I need you! Both of you!” you said desperately. “Keep going~” Satoru purred, his tip just a hairs breath away from your lips, also close to orgasm, “what do you need?” “I need- fuck- I need your c-cocks!” you begged, tears in your eyes as you shamelessly conveyed your desires, “I need you inside me- I need you to fuck me!” “Good girl.” Suguru said, groaning as he finally- finally- started to push inside you, “And remember. No cumming.”

You tossed your head back, eyes rolling to the back of your head as Suguru started spreading you apart, inch after inch burying into your sopping cunt. It was a delicious sensation, his cock stretching you out wonderfully, his thick cock giving you a nice burn. Suguru hissed as his dick was enveloped in your tight wetness, the texture of your pussy walls hugging it perfectly. His balls clenched and he knew he wouldn’t last long- the feeling of finally being able to treat you like the kinky slut you were driving him to the edge. They don’t call him a pleasure dom for nothing.

Without even saying anything, Satoru took advantage of your open mouth to jam his dick back inside your mouth, laughing at the surprised yelp and loud gag you let out. “I’m close baby~” he moaned as he was surrounded by your addicting heat again, “Make sure you drink it all when I cum down this slutty mouth pussy~”

They both started to fuck you mercilessly at once. And all you could do was lie there and take it. Suguru made you wrap your legs against his waist, leaning into you as he started pounding your cunt, balls slapping against you each time he thrust into you. Your pussy was so wet and hot- the sensation like a drug as he pounded you, his cock slamming against your cervix with each thrust.

“Fuck- I love this fucking pussy!” he groaned, tossing his head back as he mercilessly pounded you, chasing his pleasure, “So perfect for us- so greedy and desperate- want to fucking ruin you!”

“Mmm~ I can’t wait to fuck this slutty cunt~” Satoru said between moans, fucking down on your mouth as a hand came up to spread apart your pussy lips, giving him a perfect view of Suguru fucking your hole. “Pass me the vibrator, will you?”

You yelped, knowing exactly what he had planned as Satoru got a hold of the vibrator, switched it on before he placed it against your clit. You screamed around his cock, body thrashing at the overstimulation. The toy rubbed against your clit, the speed on the highest setting, making your vision blurry as he assaulted your sensitive bud.

“Fuck- oh yeah- that’s fucking great!” Suguru moaned, the vibration of the toy giving him added pleasure as well, “she tightened around me so much- fuck- slutty little pussy!”

You were in heaven and hell. The two men were using you in such a filthy fashion, making your body tremble from the intense pleasure. Suguru was fucking you so perfectly, his cock hitting your g-spot every time he thrust into you, your pleasure heightened by Satoru playing with your clit. He’d use the toy or sometimes even lean down to lick at your clit again, his hair brushing against Suguru’s abdomen every time he thrust forward. They were both so desperate and horny for you and it was amazing.

But, every time you were close, they’d stop.

You didn’t even need to say it- your moans and your body language was enough for them to know when you were about to cum and every time, without fail, they’d ruin your orgasm. Suguru would pull out and Satoru would stop playing with your clit, opting to slap your pussy and call it a ‘bad cunt’ as he took your climax away from you. Suguru once pinched your clit so harshly you swore you blacked out. Once they thought you weren’t going to cum, they’d get back into it.

“Oh baby!” Satoru moaned, finally reaching his climax. He forgoed the toy and instead focused on fucking your face, wanting to cum, “I’m close! Yes! Yes! Oh you naughty little minx! We’re going to have so much fucking fun with you!”

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you got pounded from both ends- your jaw beyond sore. With a few more thrusts, Satoru finally came. He tossed his head back and moaned loudly, his cock lodged as deep as it could go inside you. He started to cum down your throat, giving you no choice but to drink it all up. You could feel his balls clench against you as he came, his hot seed pouring down your throat, warming you up from the inside.

“Ohhh yesss!” Satoru moaned, his body shuddering as he gently thrust his hips, milking his balls of every drop, “That’s it- oh yes~ That’s a good slut~”

You gagged around him, struggling to breathe and to drink down his cum, happy to have given him pleasure but distracted by Suguru still pounding into you. You were waiting for Satoru to get off of you and give your jaw some peace but…

He once again got his face close to your pussy, resting his elbows on the mattress and his chin on his hands as he stared like a pervert as Suguru fucking your cunt.

“Enjoying the show?” Suguru asked with a laugh, his body running a bit hotter at Satoru staring.

“Mmhmm,” Satoru said with a smile before he addressed you, “Keep cockwarming me, baby. Get me hard again so I can fuck this pussy next~”

Oh. Oh God.

“Fuck- I’m close!” Suguru groaned through gritted teeth, “And she’s close too- I can feel it!”

“Yeah?” Satoru asked, rolling his hips in a circle as he leisurely enjoyed your mouth like it was a fleshlight, “Should we let her cum? She’s been such a good girl for us.”

You whined around him, feeling like this entire night was you whining, trying your best to beg around Satoru’s cock in your mouth. You could feel him grow harder inside you, the sadist loving the fact that he made you so pathetic.

“Nah.” Suguru said, sweating as he pounded you mercilessly, “Not yet.”

“You hear that, baby?” Satoru asked, “You better not cum~”

You sobbed, tears pouring down your cheeks as they decided to continue torturing you.

“You gonna cum inside her?” Satoru asked his friend, knowing him well enough to know he was about to cum. “Fuck- I want to so fucking badly but- I don’t think she deserves it yet!”  “Awww, the poor thing. She has such a huge breeding kink too!” “I know. Fuck- I’d love to dump inside this cunt and breed her but- fuck- I still think she needs to learn her lesson! Naughty little sluts who keep things from their boyfriends gets fucking punished! Oh fuck- yes- cumming- I’m cumming!”

With a shout, once again denying you your orgasm, Suguru quickly pulled out of you with the intention of finishing on you. “Fuck- Satoru!” Suguru moaned as the white haired man suddenly grabbed his member and started jerking him off. Satoru laughed at Suguru’s moans, his hand almost a blur as he jacked off his best friend, aiming the tip right at your pussy. In a matter of seconds, Suguru let out a loud moan as he came, tossing his head back as the pleasure hit him like a truck. He trembled as ropes and ropes of cum shot out of his cock, his balls clenching with each pump as he came all over your pussy. He stained your cunt white, making you whine as all of that cum wasn’t pumped inside you.

“Oh~ Look at all that cum on this pretty pussy~” Satoru moaned, letting go of Suguru to instead pet at your pussy, his fingers rubbing the cum into your skin before he collected a bit of it on his fingers to shove inside you. You gasped, body still on edge, your mind a mess of pleasure and humiliation as Satoru stuffed his friends cum into your pussy. He took some mercy on you and pulled his cock out of your mouth, enjoying your gasps and moans as you took in deep breaths, choking on your own spit as he got off of you.

“Please!” you begged, crying and you voice hoarse, “Please- Please let me cum! I need it! I’ll do anything!”

“Shhhh, relax, princess.” Suguru cooed as he and Satoru switched places, the white haired man settling between your legs with his cock hard once more, eager to fuck your cunt. You whimpered and cried as Suguru lied down next to you, his dick still hard and ready for more as he leaned down to kiss you, a sweet moment among all the depravity.

His hand gripped a breast, squeezing your boob as he kissed you, slipping his tongue into your mouth and making your body tingle from the sensation. He finally parted just as Satoru slipped his dick inside you, smiling as he watched your eyes water and your jaw drop from the sensation.

“Don’t start crying already, baby.” Suguru said, watching as your body started to bounce up and down from Satoru’s thrusts, Satoru immediately fucking you in a fast pace, “We’ve only just begun~”

[apuckishwit]

When Your Boyfriend's a Reformed Mean Girl

100 percent inspired by this tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR75sjkf/

Time seems to do wierd things for Eddie Munson.

It's something Steve has gotten used to, in the year they've been dating. Eddie is attentive and affectionate, always makes sure Steve needs are being met, always goes the extra mile to let Steve know how much he loves him, how much he cherishes their time together. In many ways, he's the best partner Steve's ever had.

Just...sometimes things like approaching deadlines and important dates seem to literally not register in his brain until it's almost too late. And not even then, sometimes.

Eddie acknowledges that it's a problem. He puts every effort into finding workarounds. There is a calendar hanging at both his (brand new, government-funded) trailer and Steve's house, hanging right by the door with color-coded schedules and a pack of Post-It notes and a cup of pens sitting on a little table below it in case something changes or comes up. Steve has a dedicated half hour every night where he's allowed to remind Eddie of things they have coming up, or ask if they've been added to the calendar and Eddie is one hundred percent not allowed to gripe about being nagged in that thirty minutes. Not that he would, because most of the time there's at least one, "Oh, shit, forgot about that." When something slips through the cracks, he apologizes promptly and sincerely if it's something that affects someone other than him and he is always trying to do better.

Steve understands. Hell, after as many concussions as he's had, details get away from him too sometimes. There's several color-coded blocks on the calendar for Steve, as well. Sometimes, Eddie just forgets things despite his best efforts.

But their anniversary? The date that Steve has been carefully planning for almost a month to celebrate their first (of hopefully, many) year together as a couple? Really?

Eddie is going to be horrified.

He is going to feel so bad, and so guilty, and he is absolutely going to go all out to make it up to Steve. Steve knows this. He knows Eddie loves him, and that Eddie was looking forward to tonight as much as he was, and that this is just an instance of Eddie's brain betraying him, and not him actively trying to hurt Steve, or be dismissive of him. Eddie is going to feel awful when he realizes that he stood Steve up on their one-year anniversary to fight imaginary dragons with the boys. Hell, the boys are probably going to feel awful when they realize they gave Eddie something else to focus on in the lead-up to his one-year anniversary.

Well. Dustin, Lucas, and Will are going to feel awful. Mike will probably think it's hilarious.

The point is, Steve knows Eddie didn't do this on purpose, and it's not that Eddie doesn't value his time with Steve enough to remember the date, and so he's merely irritated. Maybe a little exasperated. Not truly angry.

All he has to do is radio over to Wheeler's place and remind Eddie what the date is. His boyfriend will literally drop everything, will probably not even bother to pack up his precious miniatures and dice before he's tearing out of the driveway and breaking every traffic law imaginable to get to Steve's house. Steve doesn't actually want Eddie to get a ticket or anything, though. Besides.

He's feeling a little petty.

There's steaks waiting to be tossed on the grill, twice-baked potatoes in the oven, and a fucking homemade chiffon cake with fresh strawberries and whipped cream chilling in the fridge. Eddie's gift is sitting on the counter, in an elegant little gift bag tied with black ribbon.

"Hey Rob, you wanna come over for dinner?" he says into his walkie, deciding to let Fate decide if his boyfriend is listening and catches a clue.

"Do I get a piece of that cake you made?" Robin replies immediately, amusement already dancing in her voice because she's his (platonic) soulmate and she can read his mind.

"You can take the leftovers home," he says.

And then his (romantic) soulmate, who can usually read his mind, comes over the channel as well. "Have fun, babe!" Eddie says brightly. "This is probably going to run later than I thought. I'll probably just pick you up for breakfast tomorrow, okay?"

Steve rolls his eyes fondly. "Okay."

"Love you!" Eddie says, and signs off.

Robin brings a bottle of wine she stole from her parents' pantry and they demolish the dinner and half the cake. Steve does get another package of steaks out to thaw in the fridge for tomorrow, though, and blows out the fancy candles he'd lit before they burn too low to be used again. Fuck if he's making another chiffon cake, though, persnickety little thing. He calls Enzo's and orders a chocolate marble cheesecake to be picked up tomorrow.

"So you gonna milk this for a nice present or what?" Robin asks as Steve is packing the remains of the cake for her to take home, as promised.

"Nah. He's fucking perfect like 90% of the time...I'm not gonna get mad at him for the other ten." Robin smiles at him, a little gooey-eyed. Steve returns it with a smirk. "But I'm not letting him off the hook entirely."

He has just finished putting the dishes away when he hears the rumble of Eddie's van in the driveway. He glances down at his watch, laughing to himself a little when he notes that while late, it is far, far too early for a gaming session to be done. He scoops his little gift bag off the counter and saunters to the front door just in time for a frantic knocking to sound. He schools his features and opens the door.

"Steve! Stevie, baby, I am so, so sorry. I swear to God, I had tonight written down in like five different places, but Dustin wanted to try a new character class and we haven't done this campaign yet, and I got so excited...I'm so sorry I forgot, but I'm here and I SWEAR I will make it up to you!" Eddie pauses for breath, wild-eyed and panting.

Steve holds the silence for a moment, and then shakes his head, leaning forward to drop a kiss on Eddie's cheek. "You're such a nerd," he says, affection dripping from his words. He sighs. "I hope you know, now I'm expecting flowers tomorrow. And I get to pick the movies for, like, two weeks with no complaints."

Eddie almost wilts in relief. "Absolutely none," he promises, reaching out to grip Steve's hand. "I will make tomorrow night AMAZING. I promise."

Steve smiles at him, his chest aching with the love he feels for this man. But he's still feeling just a little bit petty. He holds the bag out to Eddie, tilting his head coyly. "You can still open this tonight, though."

"Babe! I thought we said no gifts." He takes the bag in his hands, plucking at the ribbon.

Steve's smile turns just a little sharper. He worked fucking hard on that cake. "It's kind of for both of us, really. It's what I was gonna wear up to bed tonight."

Eddie peeks in the box, his brow furrowing. "Stevie...there's nothing but strawberry lip gloss and a bottle of lube in here." He looks up, and freezes as his brain catches up with what his mouth just said.

Steve leans forward and kisses him, hard, long, and absolutely filthy. "Suffer," he whispers against his boyfriend's lips.

Then he shuts the door in his face.

[matan4il]

Daily update post:

I've seen the following headline discussed on several news sites:

And most of the discussion surrounded the issue of why are the terrorists shirtless (which takes the gold medal at the "turn a simple answer into a pointless debate" olympics. They're shirtless to make sure they're not carrying suicide vests, that they plan to detonate in the vicinity of the soldiers). What people should be noting about this, is that these armed terrorists were coming out of a hospital. It's another needed piece of evidence that Hamas has been using Gazan hospitals for their military operations. I am once again encouraging you to think about the UN, the Red Cross, the journalists reporting from Gaza, and every "respectable" human rights organization, like Doctors Without Borders, which operated in these places, and COVERED THIS UP for Hamas for the past 16 years.

Denmark's police announced that they have arrested 3 people (with one additional person arrested in The Netherlands) for planning to carry out a terrorist attack against Jews and Israelis.

Israel's top satire show continues to ridicule the inability of the world to have any moral clarity, of even the most basic kind, when it comes to antisemitism.

And that's how you could have done it, SNL.

In the same context, I watched the House debate on the bipartisan resolution calling for the presidents of Harvard and MIT to resign. Some of the arguments against the resolution were absolutely infuriating, either types of "whataboutism" ("But what about all the other things we should be doing to combat antisemitism?" Well, Karen, you can do those, too. There's absolutely no contradiction. At the same time, you say that you've dedicated many years to fighting antisemitism, and yet look at the state of your fight. Maybe holding people in position of educational power personally responsible, maybe making people see that there is a price to pay for taking Qatari money and allowing antisemitism to thrive, would make a difference, on top of those other measures that should be taken to fight Jew hatred) or just repeated, "But free speech!" (as if that line of defence wasn't obliterated during the hearing, when it was demonstrated that other marginalized groups' right to protection has been treated as superseding the right to free speech, on the same campuses where these presidents failed to define a call for the genocide of Jews as harassment, which means that not only did these universities fail to protect Jewish students from antisemitism, they engaged in discriminatory behavior towards Jews themselves).

Thankfully, the resolution passed, 303 to 126.

Here's a reminder of what Jewish students have been dealing with:

On the last day of Hanukkah, I wanna share with you this story. You might have seen this picture before:

This is the Posner family's hanukkiah. In Dec 1931, a moment before the Nazis' rise to power, and when their imminent threat is already well felt by German Jews, Rachel Posner puts this hanukkiah at the window, knowing that the Nazis' headquarters in Kiel, the German city where her husband is the community's rabbi, is situated right across the street from their home. After lighting the candles, she's suddenly inspired to take a picture of the hanukkiah with the Nazi banner in the background. When she gets the picture printed, she writes on the back:

"Judea, drop dead!" says the banner. "Judea will live forever," answers the light.

"Judea, drop dead!" was a part of a common Nazi slogan back then. It went, "Germany, wake up! Judea, drop dead!"

The Posner family heeded the warning signs, and left Germany in 1933, one of the last moments when that was still possible for Jews. The family moved to Israel, and was saved. Once established, they decided to donate the hanukkiah to Yad Vashem, Israel's Holocaust remembrance authority, to be displayed at our museum. The family only asked for one thing: to get to light the hanukkiah every Hanukkah. Now, museums are not supposed to say yes to this. If you donate something to a museum, that's it. The artifact belongs to the museum, you don't get to ask to use it, and in fact, for preservation purposes, it's not supposed to be used. But YV understood from the start that our museums is not going to be like other ones, and that when people donate artifcats to us, these are not just inanimate objects. These are the remainders of people who are lost, innocence that was robbed, a world that was destroyed. These are reminders of hope and life in the face of hatred and murder. And we can't take that away from people. That's why YV agrees to this type of request.

So, when I take people on a tour of our museum during Hanukkah, and go into our "German Jews room," and I show the corner where a large "window" bears an imprint of Rachel Posner's photo, I have to explain why the display next to the "window" is empty, other than a small note that reads, "temporarily removed." And why Hanukkah is the only time of the year when visitors can't see this hanukkiah.

This year was no exception. Hanukkah came, and we got the Posner family hanukkiah out of the glass display case... Except this year, after the Oct 7 massacre, things are different. The hanukkiah first traveled to Germany, where it was lit by the families of the hostages asking for their loved ones' return, and then it traveled back to Israel, and from there to Gaza, where it was lit by a great grandson of Rabbi Akiva and his wife Rachel Posner.

This is 41 years old Tal Haimi.

Tal was a third generation at kibbutz Nir Yitzhak. He's one of many Israelis, from which there was no sign of life since Oct 7, though there was an indication that they're held in Gaza (most commonly, their cell phone signal was picked up there). Yesterday, his family got confirmation that he was murdered during the Hamas massacre, and it was his body that was kidnapped to Gaza. His wife Ella is pregnant, and was documenting the course of the pregnancy for the past two months, hoping to share that with him, when he returns from captivity. May his memory be a blessing.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[g1rlr0b1n]

Look guys!!! It's G1rlR0b1n 💖💖💖 (bet you didn't know this is what my handle meant lol)

Yet another commission by the super talented @tamdrry!!! (this was done a while ago I just hadn't gotten around to posting it)

So, there was actually a fic that was supposed to go along with this but... I never got around to finishing it 😭

If you want to see what I had planned to write you can check it out under the cut. 👇

One of my personal headcanons is that Damian is nonbinary (or trans but for this particular story, just nonbinary for now)

Anyway, he starts to discover this after spending a lazy afternoon with Cass and Steph in Cass's room.

They're cleaning out her closet and think it'd be fun to play dress up with her little brother. He relents because he likes feeling included and he enjoys their company and doesn't 'want to mess this up'. They're several piece swaps and a whole makeover in when the girls finally settle on what they have decide is the perfect 'fit. Damian turns to see himself in the mirror, mini skirt, crop top, fish nets, combat boots, smoky cat-eye, glossy lips, and he just…freezes… doesn't react… until he does. He starts to cry and flees from the room. The girls don't know what to do but they run after him. He nearly knocks Bruce over in the hallway, then the girls come storming after and he stops them.

Bruce: what's going on?

Steph (she looks worried): we were just messing around, we didn't mean to make him cry!

Cass (also upset and crying herself): we didn't mean to hurt him.

Bruce: ok, let me talk to him. Go back to your room, we'll chat in a bit. Try to calm down, ok?

The girls nod reluctantly but turn and go back to Cass's room. Bruce had long suspected that Damian may be having a difficult time with self-discovery from little things he's picked up on and from when he was at that age himself. he had a feeling something like this would be coming sooner than later, after all, emotions and individuality were not traits looked highly upon by the League of Assassins… or (he admits) with the Batman. he knocks on his door and when there is no answer he peeks in. Damian is sitting on the carpet in front of his floor length mirror.

Bruce: hey chum

Damian:

Bruce: can I sit down?

He says nothing again but scootches over slightly

Bruce: you wanna talk about it?

Damian:

Bruce: Cass and Steph think they've upset you.

Damian shakes his head: I'm not mad at them. (He emphasizes the word 'them')

Bruce: are you mad at yourself?

Damian nods but says nothing else. Bruce pulls him into a hug and he allows it, buries his face into him, cries, and Bruce just holds him there. They say nothing else until Damian finally let's go an eternity later. Bruce tells him he won't make him talk about it and he won't make him explain himself to the girls but he is going to tell Cass and Steph that he isn't upset with them unless he would like to do it himself (he'll tell them nothing more than that, he emphasizes). Damian's not ready to face them, he tells his father he can relay the message, and he does, later once Damian has asked to be left alone. The girls are relieved, they don't ask questions, they respect Damian's privacy. It's one of the reasons why Damian loves them.

A week later Bruce takes Damian to go to a fashion show with him, he goes because his father has been nagging him to put more effort into him public persona long before this anyway. There he sees androgynous models wearing mashups of typically male and female clothing and something starts to click. He feels seen for the first time but the feeling is uncomfortable and he begins to sink into himself, Bruce pulls him into his side, and he doesn't pull away.

Another week goes by and Damian comes home to find a large box on his bed, tied up with a large red ribbon. There is a tag that just reads, "fighting evil by moonlight". He opens the box and there is a new Robin uniform inside reminiscent of one of his favorite characters, Sailor Moon. The tears he cries are from happiness this time.

[bao3bei4]

why zines? how zines?

i was on a panel at fanworks con 2023 about zines today. it was a lot of fun! i decided to turn my portion of the talk into a post for my friends who couldn’t make it to the panel. 

this post includes my thoughts on: 

why make a zine

how to generate ideas for zines

how to finish your zines

how to build an audience for your zines

so why zines? what are they? [ZEENS, rhymes with beans], pronounced that way because it’s a shortened form of the word magazine, are basically just that: self published magazines. but why make a zine over, say, a blog post? or any other piece of art. 

i have basically three reasons. the first is that making little books is cool. it’s genuinely awesome to make physical zines and have the product of your labor in your hand. it’s a great feeling to finish a project and feel a concrete reward, and a lot of times we don’t get that in our lives.

the second reason is that zines give you absolute editorial control. you can put anything you want on a page. whatever layout, whatever order, whatever fold, whatever content. you name it, you can do it. this is something other venues rarely give you. for artists, it’s phenomenal. and for the rest of us, it gives us the ability to become artists for a little bit, as we lay things out.

the third reason is that zines can be absolute shit. in fact, the more shit they are, the more diy and punk they are. they have an incredible lineage of stolen copy paper and anarchist politics. all that to say, is that there are no standards. the zine ethos is say what you wanna say. it’s tremendously freeing to go fuck polish and respectability, i’m making my project.

because of these three reasons, i want to encourage you to get started making zines by describing common challenges and worries and giving you several practical tips for each on working past them. so, in order, they’re “i don’t know what to make a zine about,” “i struggle to finish projects,” and “no one will read my zines.” let’s get into it.

first up, “i don’t know what to make a zine about.” i think this one is pretty common, even for experienced zine creators. sometimes you’re in the mood to make things but you have no clue what. a lot of people suggest to just go with random words or whatever pops into your head, but i’m picky! i find that unsatisfying! so here are some tips for people in the same boat. 

ONE: what’s distracting you? work with it. because anything can be a zine, let the things you’ve already done serve as inspiration. photos you’ve taken can be formatted into a zine. is there a game sucking up your attention? make a zine about it. the song stuck in your head can turn into a lyricbook, forgotten works in progress or sketches can be resurrected, cannibalized, or even published as incomplete zines. if you’ve been busy with real life, maybe the recipes you’ve been making—even if, especially if, they’re struggle meals, can turn into zines. interview your most interesting friend. summarize a book you read recently. even if you’ve just been doomscrolling, that’s a zine too! i got a zine last weekend called bay area newsreel which was collecting recent articles about local news from leftist perspectives gathered up into a handy volume. your attention is a gift, so look at what zine fodder it’s accumulated for you naturally. 

SECOND: add a twist. sometimes i have an idea but it isn’t quite right. it just seems too straightforward. so i try to develop along a single axis of content or form. what this means is basically go against your instincts, or rather, your first impulse. that first idea is very hard to walk away from, but doing so often gives you an idea that gets you unstuck. so for content, add a different perspective. for me this is often a theoretical approach. when i was stuck on my scum villain zine, turning it into freud zine let the words start flowing. next, on form: present it differently than your first instinct is to. if my first thought is “essay,” i try to figure out how to chunk out the information into modules or how to add interactivity or what kind of illustrations to add. if my first thought is “this could be a fic or comic,” i try turning it into an essay. saying things a different way often gives you a new perspective on the content as well. 

THIRD: copy! make your take on the same thing as someone else. it’s not stealing—well, ideally it isn’t. make your original take and give credit where credit is due and ask permission if necessary. but engage with the medium!!! making zines without reading zines is the same thing as trying to write a paper without citing sources, or a novel without reading your contemporaries. that is, you can do it, but it’s hard. zines are a genre into themselves so figure out how to situate yourself in their ongoing dialogue. an example of this from my own practice is that i own a zine about queer gods and mythological creatures from chinese history. reading it i was like. why don’t they talk about this. why don’t they talk about that. and that became the basis for my own zine, guaitai the strange and the queer which focused on queer chinese history and literature instead. different zine, same inspiration. 

all of my ideas suppose you have SOMETHING going on. what if you truly have nothing. my advice? adapted from my “how to write an essay” blog post, is to read a book. read an article. read something. and then post about it. and then turn your posts into a zine. don’t start entirely from scratch — give yourself a scaffolding. so first. read something and tell someone about it. i wasn’t lying about calling myself a consummate poster. it’s a big part of my thought process. 

second up, what if “i struggle to finish projects.” i’m no stranger to having a bunch of half finished half started projects lying around. but here are some zine-specific tips i have for addressing that.

FIRST! go smaller; go shittier. reduce the scope of your projects. make one pagers, lists. once when i was feeling stymied, i made a physical zine about movies i’d watched that month, just listing them with a couple bullet points on each film. i eventually turned it into a bigger digital zine where i listed movies i’d watched over the past several months with more thoughts on them, and nicely formatted. but that was something that came out of reducing my scope from “i need to write a manifesto on a movie i’ve watched recently” to “well i can just tell people about it” to “i can say two things about it.” and something actually got finished.

SECOND. your friends are a great tool for accountability. something i like to do is zine jams with my friends. nothing fancy, it’s just we’ll sit down for an hour and go we’re going to make something in this hour. or, for a bigger scope, we might work separately but commit to making a zine that weekend. it’s nice to have community and it’s nice to feel a little bit of a friendly deadline. i recommend this even if you DON’T have problems finishing zines. it’s a good time. 

THIRD. a lot of times if the words aren’t coming easily, it’s because i’m not trying to say the right thing. keep in mind that your zines don’t have to be “content.” this little paper zine i made about movies wasn’t made to share online; in fact, it’s not available online. i didn’t make it according to what other people would see or be interested in. you can and will burn out on making “marketable” content. corollary to this: sometimes what i have to say is something i DON’T want to share online. it might not be that it’s boring, it might be that it’s too personal. and i share a lot online, i write personal essays after all. but some projects i stall on because they’re really just for me, and i’m again, focused on making content. so this piece of advice is about rejecting the tyranny of the imaginary audience. 

and the next challenge is about embracing that audience! what if no one reads your zines, something that’s entirely possible. well there’s plenty you can do about that.

FIRST. cultivate zine community. read other people’s zines! talk to them about their zines! this greatly increases the chance that they will do the same for you. don’t go in expecting reciprocity; do it for its own sake, but it’s a great place to start. try asking people at zine fests if they’d be willing to trade with you, for instance. 

SECOND. write for yourself. it’s cheesy but it’s true. you really have to. if you’re not proud and happy with what you’re making on its own merits, what’s the point. now because this is a cop out tip, i’m not counting it as a tip on its own. 

so SECOND PART TWO. make your zines more accessible. if they’re not free, make them free—yes, you deserve to be compensated for your work, but it’s up to you to decide if you want a bigger audience first. if your zines aren’t short, make them shorter. make them short enough that you can post their entirety on social media or something else easy for your audience to consume. it’s a big ask sometimes to get someone to download your pdf! if they’re physical, hand them out to people you meet. remove all the barriers to entry.

THIRD. related to this, change medium. if you’re not making physical zines, try printing them out. if you’re not making digital zines, try digitizing them. both of these offer access to new audiences and new people who might be more interested in one form than another. 

i hope these thoughts encourage you to make a zine! if you do, please let me see it. i love reading zines. 

[genericpuff]

The Extended Mishandling of LO's S3 Midseason Finale Premiere

Alright, so I had mentioned leading up to the release of the newest LO episode that my feelings regarding LO returning were pretty "meh". Not hyped, but not completely back of mind either. Just sort of a weird calm before the storm type feeling that could go either way.

I'm glad I got to have that moment of calmness because good god, this episode was an absolute shitshow. And honestly, I'm not surprised, for several reasons:

Rachel has never been good at maintaining a buffer, even back at the start of the series she only ever had 2-3 episodes ready ahead of her schedule which is NOT an ideal buffer for an originals series.

Rachel has never been good at writing, she's very "draw first write later" and has stated as such in interviews that when she gets 'stuck' on what she's writing, she'll just start drawing and fit the pieces in later.

Four months is NOT enough time to both rest, attend massive conventions, and work on improving a project while also getting buffer episodes ready.

Because of the FP episodes remaining locked over the hiatus, technically Rachel only needed to have ONE episode ready upon return for the newest FP release, not multiple like she'd usually need like in the past during the S2 midseason hiatus or the season finale episodes which would unlock those FP releases like normal - so for all we know, she could have drawn this episode literally last week, especially when the promo material was so last minute. Frankly I think it was REALLY stupid for whoever it was who decided to keep these FP episodes locked (whether it was her or WT, it was more likely WT) but you can read all I have to say about that in my review of the midseason finale episodes.

All that's to say, no, there was never any guarantee Rachel was going to somehow "turn around" the ride we're currently on. I know that many of the critics were hoping for that to happen, but with the circumstances of the hiatus mixed with Rachel's bad habits of putting her best efforts into the procrastination projects that aren't her actual comic (ex. the few original pieces and LO sketches she put out during the hiatus) it just wasn't in the cards. This is where the comic is at and this is where it will remain until it's over.

I want to also point something out about this episode that was... really glaring to me.

As with all of these hiatus returns, LO got priority advertising in the first two banner slots and push notifications AND a popup ad within the app. This is unsurprising, Webtoons is still trying to milk this thing for what it's worth.

I know a lot of people are gonna focus on the art, or the fact that WT is continuing to shill LO, but I wanna point out the part that WT implemented specifically - "NEW SEASON".

This is literally just false. At best I'd like to think some intern just messed up and thought this was a new season, but it's literally not, the episode designation still says "S3". Note that the creators only design the banner art, the actual labels on top are put there by Webtoons.

But at worst, this feels like blatant lying to continue to hide the fact that LO is ending. Mind you, Rachel and Webtoons have still not put out official posts stating that this is the final arc. There is NOTHING from either of them to communicate to the audience that the comic is ending next year. It feels like they're trying to avoid the topic altogether out of fear of losing the fanbase they still have, rather than hyping up the comic's end for those who have stuck around to see how it all wraps up. And honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if this was the case, considering they're now trying to funnel the fanbase into Penguin/Inklore with new marketing deals and the whole Rachel Smythe Presents thing. They're trying to make this seem like the beginning of something "new" when it's really just a quiet shifting of management (Penguin House).

But all that aside, let's actually get into the episode. It's one episode after 4 months, which is not standard for LO's hiatuses, typically FP episodes release on schedule (meaning free readers start hiatuses 3 weeks after FP readers do), the only time this has been an exception has been with the 2 week breaks because the whole point of those was to build a buffer (which you can't do if you're going ahead and releasing the FP episodes anyways). For extended hiatuses like these, usually free readers still get their FP episodes, but that wasn't the case here. That means Rachel technically only needed one episode ready for the comic's return, and it shows. It really fucking shows.

FROM HERE ON OUT THERE WILL BE FASTPASS SPOILERS REGARDING EPISODE 254. DO NOT CONTINUE IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE SPOILED !!!

As per tradition, we get a title that means nothing at all. It just says what we already know.

Our collective husband Zeus is dying, no thanks to the poison cupcake fed to him by Apollo. For those who don't remember, Apollo had tricked Zeus into eating the cupcake by making him believe it was from Hebe. We are fully aware that it was Apollo who poisoned him. Remember that for later in this review.

Right off the bat we're off to a hilarious start, both with a cryptid appearance from Apollo in the background (lmao) who is, for some reason, ALREADY returning to the scene of the crime he just committed because... who knows at this point. Apollo and Psyche know it was Apollo at this point, I might add, but I have no clue why Apollo is actually returning to the scene of the crime when he has no idea Eros and Psyche know.

Moving on from that, can we talk about this hilarious dialogue?

"We have to call a doctor! Let's call Asclepius!"

"No, we can't trust him! Gosh darn it, why are we only bothering to think of ONE doctor in this universe where we've seen more than one doctor?? Guess Zeus is just gonna die! What a horribly contrived situation this is!"

And that's literally how I can best describe most of this episode. Contrived. There is a LOT of manufactured drama in this that makes ZERO sense even on a surface level.

And what do you mean exactly, Eros? "What a terrible system!" Is this supposed to be a joke? Lampshading? We've seen Persephone go to the gynecologist. There are non-god doctors who tend to gods all the time here.

Eros just doesn't seem to be that pressed over this, he sounds like Ned Flanders and that's NOT a good way to open up a scene like this... let alone an episode people have been waiting four months for.

Anyways, after a few pointless reaction panels (again remember I have to cut a lot of what I show here for Tumblr image limitations but I promise you, I'm keeping as much important stuff as I can in this, there's just THAT MUCH filler at this point), Eros and Psyche confront Apollo and he is... good god.

There is... so much to unpack here.

First of all, remember those theories about how Rachel was clearly trying to write Apollo as this "secret twist villain" the whole time but it doesn't work because Apollo is simultaneously written as both a 'conniving villain' and a massive dumbass at the same time?

Well, I finally have a more appropriate term for him. He's your average red pill redditor - someone who thinks he's smarter than everyone else when really all he does is sit on reddit all day using big words incorrectly in arguments he gets himself into with a bunch of equally-air-headed dumbasses.

"You can't possibly understand the nuances of the Olympian political system," Apollo said proudly, a man who had, ironically and obliviously, run for president in a monarchy. The union of kettle and pot is eternal.

He's the Slappable Jerk but instead of it being a painfully hilarious impression, it's just painful and hilarious for all the wrong reasons.

this is so stupid because it's 1.) Eros pointing out how obvious Apollo's plan was, despite Apollo acting smart two seconds ago with a goddess who, mind you, has been a goddess for ten years, and 2.) patricide isn't even intrinsically linked to politics, there's nothing 'political' about a guy trying to kill his dad except in, idk, a monarchy, which again, Apollo has spent ten years trying to rise to power in as a president which is a completely different form of government.

If I wanted to be really granular with this, I'd like to think Apollo is making some kind of point about the critics who call out LO's whack as fuck political system (especially in the trial arc) - as if he's saying "well you're just a stupid reader and this is fantasy where you don't understand exactly what political system we're using, so shut the fuck up you stupid twig" - but I don't think it's meant to be that deep. I think it's just Rachel trying to write a smart character and then failing at it because she, herself, is not a smart writer. And I'm really inclined to believe that more than the theory about this being some kind of meta-narrative about the critics because this entire plotline is contrived and stupid down to its core.

I did not cut anything out here, that's the pacing. Leto literally just appears out of nowhere and uh oh spaghettio's, she has Kassandra! Remember Leto? The character we were led to believe was truly "pulling the strings" until she disappeared from the story completely after she realized that Apollo and Persephone weren't a thing, even going so far as to call out her own son for being a fucking dumbass? Well, she's back and once again she's being involved as some kind of "double agent" in this whole thing, even though we literally haven't seen her since halfway through S2.

"Mm yes, you're so stupid, falling into my trap! Even though you had no reason to remember Kassandra anyways because she's literally a mortal woman you just met and you yourself have committed acts of violence against mortals without a shred of care! I'm so smart! My plan is all coming together!"

We've never seen Apollo do anything except cry and poop his pants, the closest he got to being "powerful" was his attempts to murder Daphne (who he seems to have forgotten about in this "master plan" of his) but ultimately he's literally just a piss ant baby and there's no reason to believe that he could somehow outmatch the God of Love who can literally manipulate people's emotions and states of mind with his arrows. But yeah sure go off, you're so powerful and smart.

The worst part is, I can't even buy this as the narrative trying to be like "see how manipulative and conniving he is?" because it's just silly. We've SEEN this man cry with his victim complex, we've seen him say and do the DUMBEST things that don't lend to any amount of "intelligence" he may have, it comes across less as him being "smart the whole time" and more as him trying to sound smart but ultimately sounding incredibly stupid. And I can't even immerse myself into it and buy that maybe that's the point, because it doesn't feel like the point, it just feels like inconsistent writing, he doesn't feel like a 'threat', he's just monologuing.

Bad art and Apollo literally just repeating what Leto already implied so this is a waste of the audience's time.

This is the funniest panel in the whole episode because I can't tell if Apollo is supposed to be in the background (for some reason, despite him literally being in front of Eros and Psyche two seconds ago) or if he's in the foreground and just REALLY small for some reason. This is so off-putting. And of course, it's just Apollo explaining what we're ALREADY SEEING ONSCREEN.

You see, in addition to this episode being contrived, it also talks down to its audience a LOT by explaining exactly what we're seeing onscreen. It's like Rachel saw the criticisms about her not including enough to depict what's actually going on in her head and so she thought the solution was to spoon feed information over pictures that are already doing the job of explaining what's going on. Rachel really doesn't know how to write and even when she tries to implement changes that reflect criticisms that have been made of her writing, she somehow makes things worse because she completely misses the point of what those criticisms are trying to get across.

Anyways, without even trying to resist (for some reason) Eros and Psyche get sentenced to horny jail.

They're now trapped in a basement that Leto somehow has in her home. How do we know that?

HAHAHA FUNNY LAMPSHADING SO FUNNNYYYYYYY

Leto claims that they shouldn't try to escape because the dungeon is "enchanted", but she doesn't even bother to explain what that means. So they literally don't bother trying. They don't try to call her bluff, they don't try to teleport out of there, they literally just go "well shoot", shrug their shoulders, and accept their fate. Just like with the whole "we can't trust the only doctor we bothered to think of" situation, Eros and Psyche are turning out to be some of the stupidest, lowest-effort characters in this comic who literally can't be bothered to try because that would require too much brain power.

Notice how much time we've spent on this and we haven't gotten back to where the cliffhanger of the last episode left off? Well buckle up because there's still more to cover.

So it turns out Hebe was still inside with her dad, in FULL VIEW of what was going on through glass which is somehow COMPLETELY soundproof, and when Apollo steps inside, she just has no idea what happened. She never bothered to even look outside to see what was going on with Eros and Psyche, she's just been sitting on the floor staring at Zeus' dead face for what was likely several minutes, unless Rachel is seriously trying to convince us that conversation and hostage negotiation from earlier only took 2 seconds. The timeline is such a mess at this point that characters basically freeze in place as soon as they're not the focus of the scene.

Apollo rushes inside, acting shocked over the situation, and when Hebe asks where Eros and Psyche are (again, she could have just looked out the window at any time), he's just like "dur idk they just left lol" which Hebe just... buys, I guess.

That's just Persephone but yellow. She's even missing her beauty mark.

See how Apollo put his hand on Zeus' chest/shoulder by the way?

Apparently, despite Mr. Smarter Than Everyone Else trying to pretend it wasn't him, he's able to discern that Zeus is dying from a toxic and rare poison just from touching him. He doesn't even really seem to use his powers, he just touches him and goes "welp he's dead i guess lol don't bother asking me how I know that".

But oh nooo remember that note from before? Well gasp Apollo's gonna use it to frame Hebe! In front of no one else at all!

Hebe of course says she didn't write it, but Apollo continues to try and frame her anyways, even though, again, there's no one else present here, and so it effectively just becomes the most absurd form of gaslighting I've ever seen.

Again, THERE IS NO ONE ELSE HERE IN THE SCENE. He's just trying to claim she did it to absolutely no one at all, in the hopes of... what exactly? That she'll just take the fall for something she knows she didn't do? That she'll somehow be convinced? It's not like Hebe has the same thing going on as Persephone where she has a 'wrathful dark side' he could pin it on, this is just a criminal who just robbed a building pointing at the first person they see and yelling "YOU DID IT!"

All I'm saying is that Apollo would be really bad at Among Us. He'd be the type of player to kill someone, hit the report button, then claim yellow did it which, even if he DID convince the rest of the team, would still get kicked anyways as soon as yellow was proven through the eject to not be the imp and everyone would go "okay cool so yellow wasn't the imp, that means obviously it's purple self-reporting." It's a trick that doesn't even work anymore because of how old it is. Hebe isn't a child here, she's an 18 year old woman who should be fully capable of raising an eyebrow and wondering why Apollo is this quick to accuse her - almost like he's trying to hide the fact that he did it.

But Hebe can't catch onto this, just like Eros and Psyche, she has to act stupid for the sake of the plot.

At first I thought maybe Rachel was trying to do some "whodunit" scenario, but that doesn't work here because we already know who did it. And while there are stories that exist like that that pull it off (ex. Knives Out) the problem with trying to do this the way Rachel did is that the person being framed has to have this thing called motive. The reason why Knives Out and Glass Onion work so well is because the person who was murdered (or conspired against) is someone who is being targeted by multiple people who could all be the murderer. It's quite literally called out in Glass Onion as a form of smart lampshading. "It's like putting a loaded gun on the table, and turning off the lights."

But it doesn't work here because Hebe does not have motive. If you're going to attempt to frame a murder on someone, it has to be someone who would have reasonable motive to commit that murder, even if they didn't actually commit it.

And who among Zeus' children has motive?

What about the war-mongering bloodthirsty god of war who has been regularly sentenced to time in the Mortal Realm to fight in wars in which he's been regularly injured?

What about the chaos-seeking wrathful goddess who would do it to get revenge on the parental figure who cast her aside, or even just for the fun of saying she did it?

Why try and pin it on Hebe, the doting daughter of Zeus who's only had a collective of maybe 20 panels in the entire comic?

But then I realized... it's not Knives Out, it's the fucking Lion King.

Which is just as contrived - if not more - than the assumption this was gonna be some attempt to frame Hebe. It's not. He's literally just trying to keep her from assuming it was him. He could have just as easily played dumb without calling attention to the note but he intentionally went out of his way to try and be Scar from The Lion King , while completely missing the point of why that scene worked in the original movie.

Scar wasn't trying to 'frame' Simba for Mufasa's murder. He was trying to hide the murder, while also attempting to get the only heir to the throne out of the picture, so he passed the guilt of the death onto Simba - a child who, unlike Hebe, wouldn't have the ability to rationalize or realize his uncle his a scumbag - who then ran away from home because he was too terrified to face his family for what happened, assuming that it was all his fault when it wasn't.

That's not how this is panning out here. Hebe is the now 18 year old daughter of Zeus, and not one of his only children. She doesn't even fit into the whole "sons overthrowing their fathers" prophecy like Aries would. Apollo is literally just being a big idiot here by saying "well I'm gonna give you a headstart to run away, because if you stay, I might hurt you" (which btw, should be MORE of a smoking gun that Apollo did it??)

And again, it's all so contrived so that the plot can move forward. "Well I'm going to frame you for this murder, but y'know, you should just leave, I'm not gonna try and press it further lmao"

Again, Apollo is a fucking idiot here, because he just attempted to frame someone who has NO MOTIVE to harm Zeus, to absolutely NO ONE at all who would side with him, only to let her go which would leave her to question why Apollo would try to accuse and harm her in the first place before considering other options. And through ALL this he claims he's the smart one, which I can't even be bothered to "love to hate" because it's written so poorly.

And really it all comes down to how everyone else behaves in relation to Apollo that makes it so stupid and unbelievable. Apollo, you're not smart just because all the characters around you are intentionally being written to be as stupid and non-confrontation as possible. If you can only write a smart villain by making everyone else stupid, you haven't written a smart villain, you've written a dumbass whose victory only happens due to contrived plot convenience. It's not even done well like in Glass Onion, it's just bad writing, full stop.

And who does he call to report this emergency? The satyr police? His son the doctor?

No.

The media. Literally just "hello, the media?? I need your best journalist here stat!"

I need you to understand, even if he were calling a tabloid magazine like The Weekly Nark, you don't just... call a journalist to report a murder. These are not the actions of someone who's trying to absolve himself of guilt, these are the actions of a complete dumbass trying to get news coverage of his trophy kill who would be better off just playing dumb instead of trying to play smart. Even Walter White wasn't this fucking stupid despite all the times he fell on his own sword, Apollo is literally just instigating suspicion towards himself for no reason at all. He's self-reporting so hard and worst of all, you can't even take any of this seriously because of how corny it is. There's no dramatic tension, no stakes, it's just a bunch of characters performing in a really bad stage play and reducing every conflict to "well I guess Zeus is just dead now because no one's bothering to make an effort to stop Apollo or ask questions lmao"

It's truly the epitome of "this plot wouldn't exist if characters would just talk to each other."

But finally, FINALLY we mention the thing this episode is named after, the transition point to Persephone.

Just like with the midseason finale episode, there's a lot to cover here, so I'm gonna get more into it in a part two post.

That said, you can see already this is the messiest, most contrived bullshit to ever wind up in LO. It's trying so hard to be smart and it just comes across as a bunch of toddlers in the world's worst stage play rendition of Clue. None of what was done here was in any way dramatic or tense, it's just a bunch of characters infodumping shit we already know, trying to set up new plot threads that don't make any sense, and allowing one another to get away with what they're doing because they don't bother to even try.

It's completely manufactured, contrived nonsense. It's not "smart", it's not "so dumb it's brilliant", it's just dumb.

[lichenes]

Here again! Really the number one fan of those law school fics. Maybe a sequel to the original? Making up for lost time and whatnot 🤭🤭 if you’re not in the mood for that then maybe Vincent and a reader who he meets in a museum and then they just keep running into each other as if it were fate

hi ilo o/ glad to see you're enjoying the fics<33 I decided to mix the two (kinda :P) cuz museum date night!! cute asf... sorry for not posting btw!! i have a cold and my body isn't working as well as I would like sjdshdkdsjh CW: kissing, mentions of dirty thoughts SFW wc: 389

_____✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ … ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ … ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ … ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿_____

"Wanna go on a date?" You looked at him questioningly. "Of course, is that even a question?" He chuckled slightly. "I was thinking of going to a museum. There aren't many in this town I admit but..." he turned his laptop towars you. "This one looks to be certainly interesting."

You skimmed through the museum's page and nodded. "Yeah this seems fun." He beamed. "I know we're gonna enjoy this trip ma chérie." You blushed slightly a slew of ideas running through your head. "Ah, you're so dirty minded!" He said with a giggle.

You were walking around the room looking at the art pieces enjoying the paintings, sculptures and eachother's company. Vincent was quite knowlegable when it came to art and had at least one fun fact per art piece for you whilst you were perusing the stock of the museum.

"Oh and this one, the creator admitted to have been severely inebriated when making this one." He said chuckling. "Clearly, not his best work." He added. You were admiring the copy of "The Ambassadors" and how faithfully it was recreated with all the details Holbein put onto the painting and most importantly, The Skull.

In the next room, a copy of "The Kiss" was being displayed and it both floored you how beautifull it was. You pointed towards it and said "look it's us!". He smiled at you, laughing at the silliness of the statement.

"Yes ma chérie, it is indeed us." He closed the gap between you and trapped you in a short but passionate kiss. You felt a little dizzy after it ended...

"Remember when we went to that park that one time?" He asked when you passed across a paiting of a truly stunning garden. "Yeah, you got sick from not wearing a jacket." Vincent looked at you with an accusatory gaze. "Oh I wonder whose body I had to protect from the unrelenting wind back then?"

"I told you you would get a cold ma chérie." You retorted. "I'd rather get a cold and protect you from the evil, evil weather." He said theatrically. "Oh my saviour..." You said with faux fawning, teasing him.

You continued perusing the museum, hand in hand, content with how life was going. You were glad you finally got the chance to make up for the lost time...

_____✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ … ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ … ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ … ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿_____ masterlist

[lesbian-octoling]

Hello all, and welcome to the third round of salmonid adopts: Horrorboros edition! Availability, rules, and other information below the cut!

What is an adoptable?

An adopt is a pre-designed character that I create, and you can ‘buy’ to be able be able to use and claim as your own character. Of course, since these are splatoon based I’m not selling the concepts of splatoon, just the idea and design of the character itself.

INFO + RULES:

Once you buy the adopts, they’re yours. You’re welcome to redesign, alter, give away and/or trade as you see fit. The only thing I don’t allow is reselling for a higher price (same or below is fine).

Though these are meant to be splatoon adopts, you’re welcome to use them for any setting that you please! They’re not inherently limited to splatoon; especially the more unique characters.

The placeholder names, personality, and info are just.. placeholder/concepts! You can name them whatever you want, give them any pronouns, personality, lore, whatever! I won’t feel bad lol

Once I receive payment, I’ll send you a full size, transparent, unwatermarked image of your adopt!

I can hold them for up to a week!

If one is on hold, you can still message and ask to be next in line if whatever they’re being held for doesn’t work out.

AVAILABILITY + PRICING:

Base price for each adopt is currently $40 USD (A bit pricier than my usual ones cus I worked really hard on these ones + they're really detailed), however, you can check out some discounts at the bottom!

Also, please keep in mind that my last adopt post had an issue where I could not edit the post after posting it, so if you see this message, PLEASE check the notes to see if any have sold, as this list won't be accurate.

“SCREAMO” - ON HOLD [3/10/23] A horrorboros that decided to put their voice to use instead of filling their mouth with slime. Quit your big run, join my screamo band!

“CAROUSEL” - ON HOLD [3/11/23] After sneaking a peek at Wahoo World, this horrorboros fell in love with the aesthetic of the beasts on the carousel, and became inspired to work on some fashion... in between battles, of course.

“LITTLE PRINCE” - SOLD [Note: this is a 2 for 1, do not separate them <3 ] A cohozuna who's taken it upon themself to raise this silly little... noodle into a proper king salmonid.

“THE TOWER” - SOLD A young teen horrorboros who wants to be a stinger, not a silly booyah bomb thrower!

DISCOUNTS + DEALS

Yeah, we know this is what you’re here for!  I’m going to offer several discounts and deals, which are subject to change, and may or may not pop in and out! This is my first time trying some of this.

COMMISSION BUNDLE If you buy a character from me, you can also get a get a commission of that character for 25% off to come with it! This only applies once, and has to be worked out around the time of purchasing the character. You choose the type of commission you’d like! Commission info is here.

PASSION DISCOUNT If you do a piece of fanwork for one of these characters- come up with extensive lore, a piece of art, a piece of writing, etc- and I can tell you actually put some effort and passion into it, then you can get them for 30% off… making them $28! It doesn’t have to be anything fancy and I’m not going to judge you by how ‘good’ your work is- again, it’s only judged by passion for the character. If I can tell you genuinely enjoyed it and had fun and will love the character you get (instead of having them simply sit on a dusty shelf or resold, etc), you get the discount! If you’re worried about the work taking a while but you want to wait until it’s done to buy them, no worries! I can hold a character for up to a week for you.

BONUS LORE If you wanna shell out an extra $5, I can fully flesh out the placeholder lore for you and come up with something much more fleshed out! Names, backstory, personality, all the bells and whistles. I can also work with you to fit it into any preexisting lore or characters you might want them to be worked with! Once again, you’re welcome to change any of this- but I’ll work with ya on it to make sure it’s something you like!

TRADES I’m a bit iffy on art trades or character trades, but I’m not going to say they’re out of the question. You’re welcome to ask!

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Masterpost

REQUESTS ARE OPEN! Ask away!! You can find the rules here.

Update Sept 12, 2024—I may have to disappear for a while.

Ko-Fi link if you wanna support a starving artist who will undoubtedly sob like a child if you do

Update 24.08.24 art commissions may be a thing soon

My beautiful wonderful amazing incredible readers and fellow simpers. Whether you’re here to read or to laugh at the unending simpfest, this is for you, to make your navigation through this shitshow of a blog a little easier.

If you’re new here……………I’m so sorry, and good luck. I’m a mess.

But no anyway. You can call me Nyarla. Or Yo She-Bitch. I’ll also answer to dude, bro, chick, weirdo, dumbass, just toss any general noun in my direction and I’ll probably respond. As an unknowable horror, gender is relative.

Get to Know the Unknowable!! (Infrequently Asked Questions)

Current fandom(s):

One Piece Live Action/One Piece in general

October 2024: There will also be a lot of horror shit going on over the course of this month, possibly into November, because I am and always have been a horror junkie. I write horror too, but if and when I ever get back to my original work, it will be on a separate blog if I decide to post anything.

Ask Request Statuses 2 Dec 2023

Masterlist Links are located beneath the frightened Nu.

Fluffy Alphabet

Claimable headcanons that you can send me ask requests for, all absolute fluff.

Alphabet Headcanons

NSFW & Fluff

Multi-Headcanons

Headcanons that comprise multiple characters in each post.

Dialogue I Presently Have No Use For

(But might eventually)

Basically mini dialogue-centric fics that may make their way into something else later or might not.

ABCs of Kink

NSFW One-shot and multi-chapter fics, based around a top-secret Kink Alphabet that will only be revealed with each fic. You may request letters that haven’t already been done, the alphabet can be edited and has been several times already.

Mihawk

Sassy McSwordsman Masterlist

Shanks

Silly Redhead Masterlist

Sanji

Flirty Chef Masterlist

Zoro

Marimo Masterlist

Adoptable devil fruits because I needed them and it took me an hour to find this damned post

Old Masterlist for nostalgia or something

[elderscrollsconceptart]

I hope this isn't an unwelcome suggestion, but I think you could extend the lifespan of the remaining new art by posting a little slower. I appreciate all of the art no matter how often you post, but it throws me off to have periods of silence followed by every other post on my dashboard being yours.

LONG REPLY BUT PLZ READ 🫶❤️

So i suppose some transparency about how i try to post might be appreciated by the community here so ill try my best!

I have posted TES art daily since this past winter and plan to continue to do so for a long as i can.

As it stands im not actually short on TES art whatsoever!

For example i still have thousands of pieces of TES Legends and ESO art remaining in my archive.

BUT

From the beginning of this blog i was aware of one major fact...

The available art from ESO and Legends outnumbers art from ALL the other TES games by several magnitudes.

Honestly i could exclusively post ESO and Legends art and probably not run out for years.

Typically I post in the evenings and (usually?) its 10-15 posts per day. Unfortunately even if I spaced them out through through the day I'd be going through all the art just as quickly on a day to day basis.

"Running out" isn't a concern in terms of the overall archive BUT it IS a concern for the TES games which have FAR less publicly available art and known artist credits, such as Morrowind or Oblivion.

I've long struggled with the fact that I (personally) care about posting art from the mainline games more than I care about posting art from ESO or Legends. I love all TES games but I personally view some of the art as more important to see preserved ATM, ESPECIALLY art from games pre-ESO or Skyrim.

Why am I more concerned about older TES art? Simple. Those games existed in era before artists commonly had digital portfolios. As such most of the art is either behind some sort of NDA or has never been digitized.

ESO AND LEGENDS ARTISTS ACTUALLY UPLOAD ALOT OF THEIR WORK TO THEIR PORTFOLIOS ONLINE. THANK GOD. I wish I could say the same for the older games :(

Like FR it's EASY to find ESO artists. You know what's NOT easy? Finding artists and art for games like Daggerfall or Oblivion. I want to ensure the more obscure art and artists (especially from the pre-eso era) get archived on here ASAP.

I've long decided I want this blog to serve as a digital archive of its own so people in the future can more easily find TES art AND the artists credits (if we have them).

It's really important to me that places beyond UESP partake in TES art archiving. That's what I *try* to strive for at least through this blog.

For transparency sake I may not be around to post here in a year or two due to a possible career change I'm looking at.

It's nothing certain but the career I'm looking at would effectively remove the kind of free time I'd need to run this blog.

The career change may never happen!! But in the event it does I wanna make sure I post all the TES art I can, with art from the older games taking priority.

---

Sorry for the word wall folks, but I love your love for this blog and you deserve transparency from me! ❤️🩷🧡💛💚💙💙🩵💜🤎

Todd Bless 🙏🙏🙏

[pale-opal]

I Listened to "The Wisdom Saga" and I Have Some Thoughts - Part 2

This is the sequel to this post. I will be picking up right where I left off, starting with:

4. Love in Paradise - I feel as if I've been tricked, been backstabbed, and quite possibly, bamboozled. - I came into this expecting unrequited-love related hijinks. - Do you wanna know what I got instead? - The most emotionally taxing song in the entire freaking saga. - I have listened to this song several times and so far, every time it ends I feel sad. But when the song starts, you have no idea what you're in for. - "Love in Paradise"? More like "Suffering in Paradise" (/j). - We begin with a medley of some of the most iconic songs from past sagas, starting with "Remember Them" from "The Cyclops Saga". After that point, the rest of the songs go by quickly, with Athena speedrunning through a montage of Odysseus' past up until his current point. The remaining songs in the medley are:

Keep Your Friends Close

Ruthlessness (I love how this song was changed for the medley, by the way. The faster tempo puts more emphasis on the drums and I think that's so fun)

Done For

No Longer You

Different Beast

Scylla

Thunder Bringer

- Afterwards, Athena finds out where Odysseus has been for the past seven years: the ✨Isle of Calypso!✨ - He is not okay. - We will get to that shortly. - For now, Calypso has decided to wake Odysseus up:

"[CALYPSO] Morning, sleepyhead You've been resting for a while I swore that you were dead When you washed up on my isle Did you know you talk in your sleep? Tell me, though, who's Penelope?

[ODYSSEUS] She's my wife" - This man just woke up from being knocked out cold, and the first thing he does is talk about his wife. - I know that he was asked who she was, but one would expect him to be like: "She's my wife - where am I?/How'd I get here?/Who are you?" - But, no. He just says "She's my wife" and leaves it at that. He couldn't care less about everything else at this point. - This does not stop Calypso from ignoring this and acting like her and Odysseus are newlyweds, however. - And I just want to take a second to talk about these lyrics:

"[ODYSSEUS] I'm not your man

[CALYPSO] I'm what you want here I'm what you need here Just you and me, my love in paradise Now 'til the end of time From here on out, you're mine, all mine" - "I'm not your man" is sung the same way as "I'm just a man", which means that Odysseus is saying: "Just because I'm a man, that doesn't mean I'm a free piece of meat for you to make out with." - Meanwhile, Calypso is NOT listening. She is thoroughly convinced that she and Odysseus are in-love with each other, and that they're basically already married. - I would like to bring up that in Greek mythology, Apollo and Calypso are husband and wife. And we know that Apollo is part of the "Epic" canon, because he appears in the next song. From this, we can draw two potential conclusions:

Apollo and Calypso are not married in "Epic", either because they haven't met, or because they are divorced.

Apollo and Calypso ARE married, BUT Apollo doesn't visit his wife... for some reason.

- Odyessus decides to try to get Calypso off his back by threatening her with death, but she deflects this by revealing that she can't kill her, because she's a goddess:

"[CALYPSO] You're adorable Bow down now to the immortal Calypso, here to entertain But fear not, I bring no pain ... Under my spell, we're stuck in paradise No one can come nor go, my island stays unknown" - Calypso going from flirting with Odysseus to mockingly calling him "adorable" and telling him to bow to her actually works really well. Sure, she's in "love" with him, but she's still a goddess, and Odysseus is still a mortal man that just threatened to kill her. To her, she has to put him in his place, regardless of whether or not he's the "love of her life". - "I bring no pain" is really ironic, considering how much Odysseus does NOT want to be on this island with this woman. - I also find it interesting how Calypso and Circe both have similar things going on with the whole "secluded secret islands in the middle of the ocean" thing. Not only that, but they both had a thing for Odysseus. - Also, the line about the spell Calypso put on the island works as an explanation for why she instantly "fell in love" with Odysseus: she's lonely! - Now then: is this an excuse for what she's doing here? No. The buck stops at it being an explanation - everyone experiences loneliness, and a lot of people do some weird and not always understandable things because of it. But usually, those things don't involve ignoring other people's boundaries and forcing them to accept your company. Relationships are a two-way street, and if someone doesn't want to meet you in the middle, then that's their choice. You need to know when to back off and let it go. - After Calypso reveals who she is and that it isn't really possible for Odysseus to leave the island, he starts to panic (the way the line "No, no" is sung really sells this). - At this point, I have to provide a content warning for implications of attempted suicide, and discussion of PTSD, due to the subject matter the rest of the song deals with. If you don't want to read my analysis of the lyrics dealing with that material, please skip to the section for "God Games", or click off of this post. Your mental health is much more important than some silly essay about some random people from Greek mythology. - Furthermore, if you feel that you or someone else may need help dealing with suicidal thoughts, please contact the national suicide hotline (United States) at 1-800-273-TALK, or the national crisis hotline at 988. - Lastly, I am not a psychologist, nor am I anyone else qualified to be giving medical assistance or help with mental health. Therefore, treat anything I say in relation to mental health with skepticism, and do not use it as a substitute for real medical advice.

Now let us continue:

"[ATHENA] Seven years, she's kept you trapped, out of your control Time can take a heavy toll...

[ODYSSEUS] All I hear are screams

[CALYPSO, spoken] Ody, get away from the ledge!

[ODYSSEUS] You don't know what I've gone through You don't know what I've sacrificed Every comrade I long knew Every friend, I saw them die And all I hear are screams"

- For some reason, I didn't see Odysseus developing post-traumatic stress disorder coming sooner. I suppose that's because he was in "the thick of it" for so long. - PTSD tends to show itself after a person experiences trauma, and is being reacclimated to a safe environment/the feeling of safety (however, it's not impossible for people to experience PTSD while in the midst of a traumatic experience, specifically if that experience takes place over an extended period of time. One example of this is how some soldiers who served in the Vietnam War showed symptoms of what was once called "shell shock" while they were still serving, with one of the most prominent signs being the "one-hundred yard stare" (which we now recognize as a form of disassociation)). - I also didn't expect Odysseus wanting to kill himself. He's reached the point where he just wants to be done. It's not even about Penelope anymore. He's just... tired. So tired that he's forgotten why he let himself go through all that suffering to begin with. - Calypso telling Odysseus that "life would be so much worse/if you had died" and telling her to stay in her "open arms" absolutely hurts, especially since he wants absolutely nothing to do with her. - Odysseus desperately screaming for Athena at the end just makes the whole thing worse.

5. God Games - This is arguably the song that had the most hype before its release. It had a bunch of animatics on YouTube back when all we really had to work with were a few snippets, and that hype stuck around for almost a full year. - And after listening to the song, it's easy for me to say that the hype was definitely deserved. - Another thing that I would like to say is that this song has a really fast pace. At first, I thought this made the song feel rushed, but then I realized something: that's the point. Mr. Rivera-Herrans has stated on multiple occasions that "Epic" takes inspiration from video games. With that in mind, considering how each of the gods has their own themes, as well as how fast the song is, it makes it clear that this song is meant to be a boss rush. The song goes fast because it HAS to. There's no time to be dragging out each debate, because Athena has to make sure she's ready for the next one. - On that note, "Love in Paradise" feels like a cutscene that takes place when "switching characters" over to Athena from Telemachus. - The first verse starts us off with Athena making it clear as to why she was considered to be Zeus' daughter in the Greek canon: "Father, God King Rarely do I ask for favors Now, I'm knocking on your door With hopes to save a friendship with one who's a prisoner far from home Odysseus"

- I did not expect Athena to be sucking up to anybody, but considering how egotistical Zeus is (ironic, considering how "Thunder Bringer" implies that he doesn't have any patience for hubris), this is most likely the best move she could have made. - I also noticed an interesting change that was made in the final cut of the song in comparison to the snippets: originally, Zeus tells Athena to convince Apollo, Hephaestus, Aphrodite, Ares, Hera, and him to set Odysseus free. However, in this version, he tells her to choose between persuading the aforementioned gods or him. Athena picks what is arguably the harder option. Keep this in mind. It will be important later. - The first god Athena has to go up against is Apollo: "You all know I'm a fan of catchy songs So with so many sirens gone, I think Ody's in the wrong" - Right off the bat, I was not expecting Apollo to lowkey sound like a hipster. That's cool, though. It works. - I like how Apollo being troubled by the siren deaths that took place back in "Different Beast" isn't because he doesn't approve of the murders themselves, but because the sirens were good singers. - Fun fact about the sirens: initially in Greek mythology, they were large birds with the heads of women. However, as time passed, they became replaced with mermaid-like creatures. - Luckily, Athena knows exactly how respond to such weird logic: by telling him that this actually helps the remaining sirens to stick around to sing more songs later.

"They were trying to do him worse All he did was reimburse them Now they'll tread with caution first To live another day and sing another verse"

- Now it's time for Hephaestus (and did y'all know that he's voiced by Jorge's dad? Both of his parents have shown up in this musical in important supporting roles. I think that's neat): "Trust is not given, it's forged Why should I give him my support? He sacrificed his own cohorts" - Hephaestus valuing trust and being upset with Odysseus for being willing to sacrifice his own crew members to Scylla works out so well when you consider that Aphrodite is constantly cheating on him with Ares. Why they didn't get a divorce is beyond me. The ancient Greeks divorced each other quite often, and it was easy for men to leave their wives. And there's even a myth were Hephaestus catches Aphrodite with Ares. So... yeah. Leave her, Hephaestus. You can do better. "Did you forget they failed to listen? He was betrayed and then imprisoned But if you make the right decision He can still build a future with those who miss him"

- What Athena is essentially saying here is: "Yeah, he did sacrifice his own men. But then they turned around and betrayed him right back. Nobody was innocent in that situation. But if you let him go, he can redeem himself with the people he has left." - Hephaestus (albeit begrudgingly) agrees with this. And Aphrodite, fittingly enough, is opponent number three (3): "[APHRODITE] Your little high and mighty Odysseus Claims to love his mother But let her die of a broken heart

[ATHENA] He was busy fighting

[APHRODITE] More like busy spiting the cyclops Let him feel the pain that his mother felt and rot" - I think Aphrodite's reasoning is highly flawed. Yes, the latter ten (10) years of Odysseus being missing from Ithaca could have been avoided if he didn't do the equivalent of giving the cyclops his government name, legal address, and social security number. BUT. She's acting as if he strayed off the path on purpose. Not only that, but in "The Underworld", Odysseus' mom's part of the song is all about how she died chilling in her rocking chair, willing to wait for her son for as long as it took. If anything, she died of old age, not of a "broken heart" as Aphrodite claims. - Furthermore, the part of the crew members who died heavily implies that the consciousness' of the dead in the underworld are a mixture of their memories and how they felt when they died. Hence why the crew members are confused as to why Odysseus spared the cyclops and are able to quote "Ruthlessness", and why Polities (😿) is still trying to encourage Odysseus to live with "open arms". In other words? Homegirl was not depressed when she died. Her lyrics about how much she loves her son and how she doesn't mind waiting for him is a representation of how she felt in her last moments. - TL;DR: Aphrodite is either making stuff up, doesn't truly know what happened, or is manipulating the situation to make it hard for Athena to argue with her. Hence why Athena pulls her into quick-thought. However, now Athena has another problem to deal with: "[ARES] Really Athena? These old tricks?

[ATHENA, spoken] Ares!" - Here we have another change from the snippets. In the older draft, Athena sounded more like she was in pain due to Ares interfering with her powers, but now she just sounds angry. Angry that he's interfering. - Ares' argument goes like this:

"What kind of sick coward Holds back his power While his friends get devoured? He didn't even fight Scylla Didn't even try to kill her Hides inside a wooden horse to get the job done Never handles things upfront Pathetic and weak like his son" - Before I lay into Ares' logic, I would like to explain more ancient Greek lore: both Ares and Athena were believed to be gods of warfare (and Aphrodite may have been considered to be one at some point as well). However, they both dealt with different "facets" of warfare. Athena was also considered the goddess of wisdom, and she was more associated with the strategic, "honorable" parts of war. Meanwhile, Ares was in charge of the bloody, tragic parts of war (which meant that not a whole lot of Greeks worshipped him). With this in mind, Ares' stance on Odysseus' methods makes more sense. However. That doesn't mean his reasoning isn't extraordinarily unsound: 1. "...sick coward/Holds back his power/While his friends get devoured": Odysseus willingly gave his friends over to get eaten by Scylla. Ares makes it sound like he was cowering in a corner while his friends were dying. 2. "...didn't even fight Scylla/Didn't even try to kill her": How could he?! Scylla's body has six dog heads, hence the six torches. Each of those heads, along with Scylla herself, are absolutely massive. Not only that, but the heads are attached to tentacles, meaning that they're chilling in the water most of the time. If one wanted to attack the heads, they would have to wait until they came out - and in that case, the heads are getting ready to strike. Fighting Scylla would've been a death wish. If Odysseus tried to fight her, WAY more than six people would've died that day, and it's likely that NOBODY would've been getting out of that alive. What good would a bloody, violent battle be if it was all completely pointless? 3. "Hides inside a wooden horse to get the job done": Oh, yeah. As if the Trojans would've just let the men of Ithaca inside. They had to sneak in because Troy was a walled city. If they wanted to force their way in on foot, they would have to either break down the walls or knock down the door. And while doing something like that wouldn't be impossible, they would've been at risk of giving the Trojans enough time to gather a force to confront them once they got in, making the battle take way longer and have much more casualties on the side of the Ithacans than needed, and/or they would've had to face archers shooting at them from the walls. And it seems like it would be pretty hard to break into a city if you have to hold a shield above your head the whole time to keep yourself from getting killed. 4. "Never handles things up front": Convenient how Ares just ignores the Winion confrontation, the cyclops battle, as well as the confrontation with Circe. Odysseus has no problem directly dealing with people. He's just smart enough to not get himself killed. 5. "Pathetic and weak like his son": Telemachus was never taught how to fight. He and his mother have been trying to keep caring for the suitors from putting them into poverty and from forcing Penelope to marry one of them. They have bigger fish to fry than getting into fights for no good reason. Furthermore, the one time Telemachus did get into a fight, he did so willingly, even though he lacked combat experience and was going up against someone stronger than him. He wanted to keep his mother safe that much. And he didn't even mind losing. How Ares could think he is "pathetic" is beyond me. - And don't get me started on him calling Odysseus pathetic. Please. We would be here all day. - Athena also has some choice words for Ares and Aphrodite: "Hold your tongue now His son's my friend And tell your lover that a broken heart can mend You want more bloodshed? Then set him free To get back to his homestead, he'll make everybody bleed" - GET 'EM ATHENA. TELL 'EM. TELL THEM HOW WHACK THEY ARE. - Let's move on to Hera: "[HERA] So many heroes So many tales Give me one good reason why yours should prevail

[ATHENA] He’s got the mind of a genius

[HERA] Try harder.

[ATHENA] He’s pretty skilled with words

[HERA] You can do better than that!" - One thing that can be noticed right away is that unlike the other gods Athena has faced, Hera isn't concerned about Odysseus' actions - she care more about his character, who he is as a person. - And Athena, like the gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss she is, figures out what will convince Hera after a few tries: "[ATHENA] Never once has he cheated on his wife

[HERA, spoken] ...Release him." - Before "The Circe Saga" came out, I thought Athena was lying here. After all, in the original "Odyssey", Odysseus does cheat on his wife. Twice (that we know of), actually. First with Circe (for an entire YEAR), and again with Calypso (even though being trapped on that island made him depressed, he was not above sleeping with her). - I am so glad that Jay cut both of those plotlines. While the ancient Greeks might have considered Odysseus to still be faithful, modern audiences would have had trouble buying that idea. - Furthermore, telling Hera that Odysseus never cheated on Penelope works for two reasons: 1. Hera was seen as the goddess of marriage. 2. Zeus cheated on Hera with a LOT of women, and has a LOT of illegitimate children. Hera has tried to kill some of them (see: The Labors of Heracles/Hercules) (with that said, I think its sweet how Hera's encouraging Athena instead of antagonizing her, since she's also an illegitimate child of Zeus'). - And would you look at that! Athena did it! She completed the task. Now let's see how Zeus reacts... "[ATHENA, spoken] I've played your game and won! Release him!

[ZEUS] You dare to defy me?! To make me feel shame?! No one beats me, NO ONE WINS MY GAME! THUNDER, BRING HER THROUGH THE WRINGER! SHOW HER I'M THE JUDGEMENT CALL, THE ONE WHO MAKES HER KINGDOM FALL!"

- Zeus responds to being beaten by striking his favorite daughter with lightning. - The question is: why?! She did what she was told, and she didn't cheat. Did he not expect her to win? Did he really think that the alleged goddess of wisdom wouldn't be able to outsmart her fellow Olympians? And if he didn't want her to succeed, why not add Poseidon to the lineup? He'd be enraged about Odysseus being alive at all. - Not only that, but she picked the harder option. Let me say again that Athena was supposed to be Zeus' favorite. She could've easily convinced her father by appealing to his ego and making a deal or two. But instead, she decided to increase her workload. And her reward for going above-and-beyond to prove herself is getting electrocuted? - Yeah, no. Zeus is now on the priority list for defenestration. And even then, getting yeeted out of a window might be too good for this man, once we take into account his treatment of Hera and women in general. - Ares asks if Athena is dead. A piano rendition of "Warrior of the Mind" begins to play. And based on how sad it sounds, I wouldn't be surprised if it was in a minor key. It doesn't look like Athena is getting up. As a matter of fact, it looks like this might be the end. - But this is what I'm going to call a "musical fakeout". Because next thing you know, a small part of "Legendary" starts playing, and then the brass kicks in. We are back in a major key. Athena has remembered Telemachus. She has remembered that Odysseus still needs her. She remembered why she's here. And she's not taking no for an answer: "Let him go, please... Let him go..." - Even after getting struck by lighting and what should've been an easy victory, Athena still finds the strength to get up and continue pleading for Odysseus' freedom. How awesome is that? - Oh, and based on Athena's tone here and the usage of the word "please", we know now why Zeus was so angry: Athena wasn't cowering enough when she told him that she beat him (do you think the Greek gods had windows large enough for a whole person to fit out of on Mount Olympus? Just asking...) - Also, this is the first final song out of all the sagas that doesn't feel like it has an ending moment of catharsis. All the other final songs had reached a place plot-wise that made ending its particular saga there make sense, or they had a brief instrumental at the end that let you know the saga was over. But this song simply ends with Athena asking for Odysseus be set free, and... that's it. We don't know Zeus' response. I was actually shocked (pun not intended... again) by this lack of closure. But I think it was done on purpose. We're not going to be "playing" as Athena anymore. The next saga switches us back to Odysseus, so we need to know how things go on his end (that, and it kills the tension for an answer to Athena's plea to be given explicitly by Zeus, or implied by the music). Final Thoughts - This should've been called "The Angst Saga" with all the emotional damage it has caused (exhibit A: me). - I hope "King" ends with an epic 1v1 fight between Antinous and Odysseus (or Telemachus. Telemachus works too), with Antinous getting knocked out of a window. - On that note, once again, please do not confuse anything negative I may have said about the characters with the actors or crew members of "Epic". I think the cast and crew of "Epic" are all great. Do not think that me talking smack about a character or wanting to see a character face karma is me speaking ill of or wishing harm on the actors, crew, or any other real people, because it is not. Thank you. - Somehow, the "Epic" team keeps making each saga better than the last. I have played this particular one three (3) times so far, and I will do it again.

Correction 11/4/24: Apollo was in a relationship with the muse Calliope, not Calypso. I got their names mixed up while writing this. I'm sorry about that.

[shuckinbeanz]

warnings/notes: Tumblr decided to post this incomplete so I had to finagle it lmfao kudos to Google lens for copying the majority of this and saving me some grief. n don worry ur secrets w me nonny! 🥰 N E WAYZ ���� NSFW, I'm gonna say y'all are married here, Daddy kink, chubby gn reader, stretchmarks, squirting+overstim, standing full nelson, breeding kink if u squint, reader can get pregnant, Kats is so mean to you ab your insecurities (in a good way i promise) so degradation, dirty talk, teensy bit of thigh worship(partly me indulging myself bc i have thicc ones), some orgasm denial, praise kink with a little bit of humiliation kink if u squint, biting? soft nibbling more like, n mirror sex. Told in his POV kinda bc who doesn't love a King who's head over heels for his s/o--it gets wonky at some point im sorry 😭

I'M FINALLY DOONE 😭😭

~Masterlist~

MINORS 👏 DNI! 👏 AGE 👏 IN 👏 BIO 👏 OR 👏 DNI! 👏 Head on over to @candybowbeansies please for my SFW pieces, or be blocked if you interact here! 😇

Tags: @dynamightsdaydream

You were doing it again. Prodding at the dips of your stretch marks morosely. And quite frankly it was pissing him off. He knew that look from ten miles away. He knew what your deep sigh meant, and he'd be damned if you do it again. Having enough of glaring daggers your way because you stubbornly kept your current mindset-one insecurity after the other-he resorted to picking you up, princess style.

"Kats!" you gasp, your rambling about how heavy you were going in one ear and out the other as he carried you straight to the bedroom with one thing on his mind; dealing with your insecurities the best way he knows how, by fucking them out of you.

"I'm a Pro, sweetheart. Carrying ten of ya is an everyday thing for me, so nice try, dumbass." he throws you onto the comforters, making you squeal in surprise.

You huff and squint at him as you sit upright, glaring your cute little glare as he readies the mirror. "What are you doing?" you finally ask, offended he brought you into its reflection to the point of near tears. "I'm huge," you start as he makes the strides towards you, "I'm ugly, I don't wanna see m'smff--" cutting you off by firmly planting his palm under your chin and squishing your pretty cheeks. Your pretty hues go wide, your pupils dilating at his stern look, a flush painting your features.

You were gonna get punished.

"We'll see how long you keep this up. Stop being a fuckin' brat." he gives you a meaningful squeeze before releasing you. "Now strip." he commands, and you shake your head before opening your mouth to speak.

"Strip, or that's another one to the dumpster." he seethes, eyeing what you wore as he settled beside you. You wisely clamp your mouth shut, immediately springing into action, knowing his habit of ripping your favorite clothes to shreds. While the money he makes can fill your closet with new ones, you preferred the ones you've worn down.  "Not so hard, now, is it, sweetheart?" he rasps warmly, a stark contrast to his earlier demeanor. "Now, c'mere." he coos, beckoning you over when you've removed the last article of clothing, and you disobediently stay where you are. "Don't make Daddy say it twice, toots." he warns you, making your breath hitch as you squirm in place.

Katsuki is a patient man for his spouse. After several moments you eventually begin to cave, and you inch towards him. He pats his lap, watching you fiddle with your fingers apprehensively. "What did I say?" a growl escapes him, and you begin to stutter, your beautiful face much more lurid in hue; of embarrassment, shame, and arousal.

"Y-Yes, Daddy..." a meek affirmation escapes you as you turn around and hesitantly take your seat, gasping as he all but grabs them plump, pretty hips, and pulls them down onto his lap.

He purrs in satisfaction, his large hands engulfing your plush thighs. "There we go. Atta sweetheart." he praises, groping and massaging them. "I wouldn't've married ya if I didn't like everything you had to offer." he starts. "You know me, sweetheart, yeah?" giving them a particularly firm squeeze. "Yeah?" he repeats firmly when you hesitate, his voice making you nod.

"The juicier, the better." he says, pressing them together. "Press these babies t'gether after a li'l TLC, makes a mighty fine cocksleeve. Nice and slippery, drives me up the wall every damn time, never fuckin' fails." he rasps in your ear, making you squirm. "And here?" he lifts one of his hands to grope your stomach, making you jolt. "Here, I stake my fuckin' claim." "Kats--" "Would prefer t'do it inside, turn you into my pretty li'l cumdump, keep you stuffed full of my kids." he interrupts you, thumbing up your inner thigh, stopping just short of your sex.

He revels in your whimper, in the flush that grew to the tips of your ears and down your neck, creeping towards your shoulders. "Can turn 'em info earmuffs, too." he squeezes your thigh, the hand on your stomach traveling up to fondle your chest.

"These here are just the cherry on top, sweetheart." he says, flicking one of your nipples, making you gasp. He scoots back, holding onto you to keep you in his lap. "See that mirror? I'll have ya yellin' how pretty you are by the end of this, and that's a fuckin' promise. Daddy doesn't go back on his promises." he tells you as he manhandles you into a more comfortable position with ease, paying special attention to groping at your tummy and thighs-the areas you were most insecure about.

He'd have those thoughts long gone before he's done with you, your pretty little head filled only with him.

He takes your hands, first guiding them to your plump pretty rolls. "Remember what I tell ya?" he asks, as he guides your hands lovingly across your body. Incoherent sounds escape you, and he hums encouragingly. "Little louder, toots." he tells you. You're silent for several moments, shyly speaking up.

"...like cinnamon rolls..." your voice comes out small as you lift your gaze to yours and his reflection in the mirror, cheeks painted the prettiest color. "Mmhm, and?" he rasps coaxingly in your ear.

"Y'could...gobble 'em up..." you go redder as his crimson eyes meet yours in the reflection, your own hues darting downward. "Damn right." he chuckles, giving a playful nibble to your neck, eliciting a soft gasp and shudder from you. "Can't convince me that's not what those bastards are fantasizin' when they stare at'cha a little bit too fuckin' long. Really pisses me off." he growls, "I like watchin' 'em bounce, too. They're for my eyes, only, yeah?" he tells you.

It was true. The hungry gazes you'd get from thirsty passerby was far from being a rarity or occasional, not that you didn't like it though. Your guard dog of a husband's protectiveness always did set a fire in your belly.

"And these?" he inquires, his large hands moving to your thighs, guiding them apart-but you stubbornly keep quiet. He bends, chuckling darkly. "Take your time, baby." he tells you, mouthing at your neck, his crimson hues dark and knowing. You try to avert your gaze, but one of his big calloused hands grips your chin, making you look back at the reflection, his other toying with your pulsing sex.

You wouldn't be able to keep it up much longer.

"Earmuffs..." you mumble shyly, trying to remember through the haze. "Th'juicier--th'better--" you gasp, unable to keep from squirming anymore as his finger teases your entrance. "Mhmm, and?" he encourages you, his voice husky in your ear.

"Ahh--oohh, Daddy, m'sorry--" you barely contain your moans, wriggling your hips a little, wanting nothing more than those thick fingers to fill you up.

“Don't be.” he tells you, his voice clear through the pulsing heat, “Don't be, baby.” he soothes. “From the crown of your head, down to your pretty little toes. Every fuckin’ inch, gorgeous.” he tells you, inserting one finger.

“Ya like t’keep spoutin’ nonsense, about perfection, about who's deservin’ of what.” in goes another as he continues-really, he’s too perfect for you-curling his fingers only just a tad, not quite enough to quell the fire.

“This whole damn planet don't deserve you.” he moves his hand, fingers pulling out in a slow drag, curled up against your spongy spots, “You know damn well y'can't convince me otherwise, sweets.” he whispers in your ear. You moan at the sudden onslaught; large calloused fingers pumping in and out of your heat at a dizzying pace, his palm rubbing against your sex deliciously.

You find rhythm with him, bringing your hips up for more, wantonly humping his hand. It's not long before your husband's skillful fingers are coated with your slick, and your teetering on the brink of orgasm.

He knew exactly how to drive you crazy. His voice in your ear, the strong grip he had on your chin. His skillful fingers bringing you up, and up, and up-only to suddenly stop.

You whine and squirm, reaching down to get that high, only for your hands to be swat away, his large palm covering your pulsing heat. "What'd I say, baby?" he pants in your ear, voice husky. He was clearly enjoying this. You could feel his hard cock straining against his sweatpants, pressing up against the meat of your ass.

And if you were going to be honest, you were enjoying this, too.

"Daaaddddyyy~" you whine, high pitched and desperate, closing your legs. "Nuh-uh." he grunts, pulling one of your legs in the hook of his elbow. "What'd I say, toots?" he asks again.

"I'm big, an' ug-ghoooh!~" you try, with a hint of squirmy sass, quickly cut off by his fingers plunging into your needy heat again. "Nope. Wrong answer." he growls.

You keen his name, legs trembling as he ravages your spongy bits, knuckle deep. He slows to a drag just as you're about to reach your high. "Last time, what'd I say...?" he rasps in your ear. You squirm and hump his hand as best you can, face hot and head fogging over, frustrated tears starting to prick your eyes.

Adamantly, you try to shake your head with him holding your chin, squeezing your eyes shut so you wouldn't have to look at yourself in the mirror anymore.

Because he's convinced you, like all other times. You're perfect. At this point, you were only being stubborn, but you refused to admit it easily.

The moment his fingers leave your heat, though; all that crumbles. "Nooo!~" you release a high pitched whine. It crashes and burns, your sweet, sweet release seeming even further away.

" 'm pretty! 'm hot! 'm sexy, I--" your voice cuts off as he eases his thick fingers back in, where you needed them most. "What else, toots?" he asks, voice husky. "Got sexy curves!~ Thick n' warm n' jiggly!~ Oohh, yes, Daddy please, right there!~" you keen as his skillful fingers pick up the pace, scissoring you open. "Keep going." he commands you.

" 'm thighs!~ Stretchmarks, too, they--they look, oh fuck, Daddy, Daddy, 'm coming!~" you squirt all over his palm, shaking your hips against his hand as best you could, riding your high.

You go completely limp against him, panting harshly. Slowly, sensually, you feel that same hand travel around the curve of your ass and up your thigh.

When you feel him reach behind you, between your bodies, and pull down his sweats, you can't help the pleasant shudder that escapes you.

"Daddy, 'm legs're jelly, I can't--" you try weakly, but he shushes you. "There's positions for that, sweetheart." he pants softly in your ear as he manhandles you into position to take his throbbing, red-hot cock.

Your toes curl in delight at the stretch, his cock all but filling you up. He pulls you into a full nelson, "Daaadddyyyyyy!~" you squeal in surprise when he stands, impaling you just right, making your hole gush.

"Didn't tell ya t'stop, did I?" his hisses hotly in your ear. "Nhooh~" you moan. "Touch yourself." he commands, and this time, he doesn't have to tell you twice; you snake your hand in front of you and start stroking. "Wanna hear your pretty voice, c'mon." he grunts, his strong arms keeping you fully secure as he proceeds to use you like a pocket pussy.

"Dad~dy~ I'm!~"

You sing hot praise to yourself in the mirror, getting lost in your own little world as your husband bounces you on his fat cock, encouraged by his lewd praises. This goes on until you're fucked stupid-until he's made you cum at least twice all over the mirror.

Only then would he have mercy, cleaning you up and tucking you in.

The next time you'd wake up, he'd already have your favorites prepared. Really, he's such the perfect husband for you. <3

[yandere-isopod]

Making a new pinned post and I still have no eye for design so it is still not formatted all sexy. :(

Boring shit about myself first:

I’m Haru, (they/them) I don’t have a set theme here I just throw my impulsive thoughts out to make them everyone’s problem. I am delusional and obsessive with friends and my spouse so I post obsessive and sometimes toxic rants a lot. If you’re uncomfortable with yandere content you will be uncomfortable with this page. Everything I post about people is completely consensual. Somehow I ended up around people who are very insecure so my “I’ll kill you if you ever leave me” is usually met with blushing and a heartfelt thanks. But that’s just to say that anyone I’m talking about is fully aware of my behavior and feelings and actively encourages me being feral for some reason.

I don’t really have solid rules on asks except don’t sexualize me. You can sexualize any OCs or game characters, you can even send platonic yandere asks, I just absolutely do not want to be sexualized. Compliment me like you would a really neat piece of furniture and you wouldn’t fuck the furniture… right?

I’m making a game

And I’ll put that in big fucking letters cause I’m very excited about it. It’s called Nozomi and anything about it is tagged under that. I would describe it as a farming survival rpg. But most of the people following it are here cause they saw “yandere love interests” and are starved for content.

Nozomi is a love letter to my darling who loves yanderes so every marriageable character has the potential to be yandere. (There are also a couple platonic yanderes as well and at least one who is aromantic.) You have the power to either help them get help, or encourage their deranged behavior and enjoy the consequences of your actions.

You start the game taking over as the deity of an island that is loosely based off the town my grandma grew up in Japan. The island and its inhabitants are in a pretty bad way when you start and where you go from there depends entirely on what you want to do with it. Not just with the islanders, but with each quest there’s several ways you can complete it and things change in the world based on what you decide to do.

Nozomi is built to be diverse. There are different body types, races, disabilities, sexualities and gender identities. I’m not making this game to make money, I’m making it because I wanna make my spouse’s perfect game and I feel like I have a fun idea that a lot of people will enjoy. If you are homophobic, racist, fatphobic or transphobic: I DO NOT WANT YOU TO BUY MY GAME. You aren’t welcome here. I don’t care if there’s only one person who ever buys the game, I’m very loud about those opinions and while I can’t outright ban someone from purchasing something on Steam I can certainly make it impossible to miss my feelings on the subject.

By the end of the year (ideally by fall but definitely by December) I’ll have a steam page which I will post here, and I’ll be having people bug test it. Most of game development is when everything is “finished” so even though I’m pretty far in, I don’t expect to actually release it for another year and maybe two. A lot of it now is just writing and art but I have a much bigger team now, so I’m hoping that goes pretty quickly.

Current artists who have worked on the project are:

NaniWasabi - https://www.fiverr.com/naniwasabi/design-assets-or-sprites-for-any-digital-need

IncognitoAnkh - https://www.fiverr.com/ankhasmodeus

Piyan Apriyanto - https://www.fiverr.com/piyanapriyanto

Maia - @lacrymoria

Robin - @nepeta

Current writers who have worked on the project are:

Almond - @miodaisgay

Drops - @sleepingbirch

Beelzebutt

Drama Lama of the Alpaca Lips

I will add links and artist names as they join the project or give me their links.

[vulturesrottencorpse]

what do people have against closed fantribes??

i see lots of hate for closed fantribes and I honestly don't get it. Actually, I do, sort of, but I also don't.

I used to be one of those people who hated closed fantribes and would rant about them for ages until I found one really amazing one (won't be naming and less "popular" tribes BC I know someone's gonna go out of their way to harass them.) that switched my perspective completely

The main thing people have against them is that they are from an already existing piece of media (wings of fire) which hey that's actually true, that was my reason for hating them, however if you take that logic and apply it to any other thing like adopts, p2u bases, commission art, ect ect, then shouldn't everyone hate that too?

The second, and biggest reason is the prices I guess. People will rant about some certain poptribes (dewwings seem to be the main target) because they're expensive. I have some news for you. The artists who create drawing designs, or any designs from other fantribes, are all INCREDIBLY talented, and artists have the right to price their art how THEY think is fair. I thought everyone knew this but no, apparently not when it comes to this specific thing. Yes, dews can go for over 200$, but that's from auctions where people are actively choosing what they use their money on. You are not forced to buy a dewwing, or any closed fantribe. Me for example, I'm too young for a job or a bank account, yet I own a few, and several other closed fantribe characters, because more often than not there are alternative ways to get them!! I got my rare dewwing for FREE. completely free, through character trading. Some people also take art as payment!! What I'm saying is, 1, artists don't have to cater their prices to how YOU think is fair, they are the artist, they decide how they price. 2, said artists are super talented! Heartspark? WOW, absolutely stunning designs every single time! Honeybee st? GORGEOUS, genuinely makes the best designs I've ever seen (imo), eldragonis? IMMACULATE use of colour and anatomy, WOW. and that's just to name the most populous ones! Guys, they are popular for a reason! Their art is amazing, they spend their time creating these gorgeous pieces, just for people to attack them and tell them their prices are too high and not worth it? 3, you do not HAVE to pay money! There will always be ways to get characters from closed species for those who may not have the money to spend, if they didn't, let's be honest, they would fail as a community. Nobody is grabbing you by the throat and screaming at you to spend 200$ on this legendary trait dragon character! So then, why should you care if people who do have that money to spend use it on that? It's their money they can spend it however they want.

Instead of veiwing closed fantribe owners as scummy money hungry evil overlords, and start viewing them as they are, artists making a living by doing what they love!

(psssst, this post isn't an invitation to start drama, if U wanna share it opinion plz do it respectfully 😭 <3)