#this is not the *Transplant* I wanted btw

[becauseimanicequeen]

Wild-ass 4 Minutes theory (that won't come true):

Great will get Tyme's heart (after he's shot), and the out-of-body experience Great is dealing with now is his chance to find out who killed Tyme and then deal with that when he wakes up from the transplantation.

[sucktacular]

So to jump off that whole "no shame in taking garbage/trinkets/found objects home" meet:

Her

Found her in a parking lot, skinned her, tossed out her stuffing, gave her a bath + two bleach bath soaks to be thorough. (Photo after her baths. She's about the size of my fist, btw!)

She apparently had a rattle in her head, but it was smashed to pieces. Did some brain surgery and, while I have no credentials, I can say in my professional opinion she will happily rattle again!

Anyway, today is officially Girl Surgery Day! Wish us luck! 💕🥰👍

[ssawboness]

Heyyy!!!!! So uh i was wondering if you got that kidney implant yet!!!!! I hope you're recovering well !!!!!! Do you happen to still have the old kidney????? I have use for it!!!!!! Love Love Love!!!!!

P.S. I also need to borrow some fishing line if that's alright!!!! If you have any disinfectant that would also be so wondafyu!!!!!! Love Love Love!!!!!

🐚 anon

OH JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHY AM I IN THE LORE NOW

[gas-stxtion-a]

//ok last one of these for the night

[therevengeoffrankenstein]

nothing but ashes remain.

[certifiedsexed]

Hello! I hope this ask comes across the right way - I’ve toyed with how to word it without sounding horrible, and if I do sound horrible, please, please correct me on how to word things in the future.

What actually is “bottom surgery”?

I’m too afraid to google… and to be honest, I didn’t think science was at the point where someone can physically “change” their sex organs? As in like… science hasn’t reached the point where they can grow a penis and then transplant it on someone who previously had a vagina, making it so that the transplanted penis functions instead of the vagina. Or the other way around - how does it work? Am I just really behind on my medical/science knowledge?

(I don’t want to sound bigoted or as if I’m saying people who have bottom surgery are not the gender they truly are - I’m just confused and probably misunderstanding things. I’d like to understand so I can use proper language.)

Thank you very much.

Hi! Absolutely, no problem!

Well, cool news for you, people can change their genitals! We can't grow a penis but they can make one out of other flesh and make it function much the same as other penises!

There are several different types of bottom surgery though, depending on what type of genitals you want and how you want them to work. [Pretty good article here with some basic info on that!]

[You can also have a penis without bottom surgery, growing a clitoris with testosterone, though there will be some functional difference.]

They can also make a vagina, using other flesh and make it functional. There are numerous different types of ways to make a vagina as well, also depending on what type of genitals you want and how you want them to work. [This is a pretty good article with some basic info on that!]

(You don't sound bigoted, btw, just curious.

Bottom surgery is very stigmatized and despite it having existed for quite awhile, the information on it is very suppressed.

Not knowing about it is not as uncommon as you're probably thinking. It's very good of you to want to learn, both because you're curious and because you want to be able to talk about it respectfully!)

Hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions. <3

[yandere--stuck]

no need/pressure to respond to this, but with all the intestine stuff that keeps getting posted... along with stuff about ford (drool)... (all really good btw)... and maybe this is too gross/weird in which case DEFINITELY feel free to ignore this,, but i keep thinking about bill keeping you two alive while you pull each other's guts out, and then stuff the other person's guts inside of you... switching intestines... and then being sewn back together, permanently having a part of the other inside you now <3 very good to me. maybe ford is bigger than you so your belly bulges ever so slightly... - zag gore anon

God, that is genuinely so horrifying. I love it!!!

Imagine lying on your back as you recover - well, technically speaking. The scarring only hurts in a way that's sickeningly pleasurable, and Bill has (hopefully) made it so any wrong movements don't cause your Ford's guts to spill out of you.

You try to focus on anything else. The symbols carved along the roof and walls of the Fearamid, the muffled sound of music from the other room where all the Henchmaniacs have gathered to party, the feel of Ford nuzzling against you and pressing soft kisses to your face.

"Isn't this wonderful?" He asks, voice gruff. "I can feel you inside of me. Can you feel me?"

One of his hands brushes against your stomach and you resist the urge to gag building at the back of your throat. Suddenly, it's all you can focus on. The image of you puking out the intrusive organs flashes into your mind. You can't ignore the feeling of squirming and wriggling inside you and whether it's phantom or not doesn't matter because Ford's intestines are inside you, and it's disgusting. It feels like there's something alien nesting inside you, and any sudden movement will cause it to burst out of you. You want to rip your skin off, you want to puke them out or rip the intestines out of you through the scarring. But then again, Bill would probably like that, wouldn't he?

You can at least excuse Ford's behavior. Over thirty years of being on the run through so many different dimensions, only to return home and suddenly having any sense of stability being just as quickly wrenched away from him by the one being who had hurt him most. You want to believe this is Ford giving into the madness and losing himself to it, to the idea that maybe, if he gave in to Bill's whims, it'd be easier. And maybe he's right.

But you're not there, yet. And you pray you never will.

All you can do is manage a nod as your whole body quakes under Ford's touch.

"Awww, if it isn't my two favorite fleshbags," Bill's voice suddenly booms, making you jump. "You two are so cute together! I'm so glad this brought you two even closer together. Say, I was thinking for next time, how does a heart transplant sound?"

Your eyes widen and your teeth clack together. You dare to take a glance at Ford's expression. He meets your gaze, eyes crinkling with excitement behind his glasses as he beams at you with utter joy.

[purgetrooperfox]

if you have a blank blog and keep getting blocked by every blog you follow because we're all wary of porn bots, but you don't know what to put on your blog

you look like this rn

this is what spam bots look like as well. this is a screenshot of a blog I think belongs to a person but it has no posts and no likes so I cannot tell

you can change your profile picture to literally anything. it can be a solid color. it can be a character or actor you're fond of. it can be your cat. it can be a stock photo. literally anything, but it probably shouldn't be your actual face

you can change "Untitled" (which is your blog title btw) to, again, literally anything. it can be "Hello" if you want. "Twitter Transplant" works too. just something

people here often put their name (usually not the one they use irl, or at least not their government name), their preferred pronouns, and a brief overview of their interests in their bio. there's no need to overshare or link a carrd. it can be "I'm new here and haven't set my blog up yet!"

you may have seen people encourage pinning a post to your profile. that can be very similar to your bio, just an overview of what to expect from your blog. fic writers often include their masterlist on it. if you're not set up yet, it can be a placeholder. "pinning this for later" is better than nothing

on mobile, your Edit Appearance button looks like a little paint palette board. here it is on my blog

on desktop, you go to your sidebar first

Edit Appearance brings you here

my bio looks Like That because it has links in it, which have to be coded in html

we don't want to block y'all but you have to show us some signs of life. PLEASE. also this is a blogging website and blogging involves posting or reblogging but that's another conversation

[kuoukyeee]

hi hi !! can you do gaolong, okubo, and agito with an s/o who likes to cosplay? s/o who cosplays mostly cutesy stuff or scary stuff! (ex: silent hill, fatal frame)

i got inspiration from a cute cosplay i saw of a cute pyramid head vs the original one ! (Btw agito would totally believe you could shapeshift if you cosplay scary stuff change my mind)

Hi anon, ty for requesting. Im not a fan of cosplaying , so im sorry if I got anything incorrect. I also didn't mention any of the fandoms you listed, mostly because idk anything about them 😭

I rewatched Okubo's fight because I totally forgot everything about his character, like my mind literally went blank.

Gn reader

kinda spoilers in okubos part

Gaolang Wongsawat

He likes the cute cosplays more, just because it emphasises your own cuteness.

He would realise how long it takes to make the props and put on make up etc. It would make him appreciate cosplaying more.

He wouldnt let you put him in a full out cosplay, but whenever hes feeling playful or in a good mood he would let you do makeup on him.

He would reluctantly let you take photos ( he will sulk if you giggle at the pictures).

I don't think he would like scary cosplays with fake blood, cuts and bruises. Just because it reminds him of his matches and he wishes to keep his work and your guys' relationship separate. He also doesn't want to see injuries on you, even if they are fake.

Okubo

He will squeal like a school girl if he sees you in anything cute, and will have cuteness aggression towards you.

He loves seeing you in cute cosplays and he might even encourage you to keep some aspects of the cosplay in your everyday wardrobe. For example, he would encourage you to wear more pastel or frilly clothes.

In omega he literally dressed as the mascot of the area which he comes from. So he wouldnt be oppossed to do couple cosplays.

He would even get into character and try to do their voice and everything, just to make you laugh.

Agito

When you do a scary cosplay, especially if it is realistic he will get alarmed. He will sneak up on you and grab you. You have to explain and convince him that its just you in cosplay. (Bro thought he was going to have to fight sum fictional creature or sum💀).

When you remove your cosplay he is in denial. Like how did you turn from a creature in to yourself???? He must be hallucinating from something he ate earlier.

When you put him in a cosplay and he sees himself in the mirror he gets scared. Like has some lookalike stolen his soul???? Did someone do a brain transplant???

He will eventually realise that you are in the cosplay because no one else could have a giggle as sweet as yours.

[cnestus]

i recently solved a fun little bug mystery at work and i thought it might be interesting to write up a step-by-step narrative of how i did so, as a sort of example of the kinds of things i get to do for my job. this is a stupidly long post because i have no editorial self-control so i'm putting the rest under a cut.

the above insect is a bark beetle, one of a series of 6 specimens i found in a drawer at work. they did not have species labels on them, and the collection labels indicated that they were collected in 1997 from "Chinese Cedrus used for artifical christmas trees." the infested wood had been intercepted and the beetles collected and pinned, but whoever was working in the lab at the time wasn't able to suss out the species, which is extremely reasonable because even IDing american bark beetles to species can be a massive pain in the ass, let alone ones from asia.

the beetles were clearly in the genus Phloeosinus based on the shape of the antennae and the large spines on the elytral declivity (the ass area), and whoever pinned them at least got them that far themselves, but determining the actual species was going to be a lot harder. even american beetles in this genus can be devilishly hard to confidently ID to species since they often look alike and also are quite morphologically variable in ways the bleed into each other. they are pretty cool though and those ass spines are usually critical in species-level identification

btw since i'm going to be writing out this word a lot in this post, it's pronounced roughly as "flea-o-sign-us" if you're curious.

determining bark beetle species is often made much easier by knowing what tree the beetle came out of since most bark beetles (but not ambrosia beetles, which are also scolytid/scolytine beetles but a whole other can of worms grubs) are highly host-specific, usually being adapted to only a certain tree species or genus or small group of related genera.

so Cedrus is the genus for eurasian cedar trees, and there is one species of Cedrus native to china, Cedrus deodara, but that seems like an odd choice of plant to harvest and send to america for artificial christmas tree trunks. most actual Cedrus species are from the mediterranean area. however there are also some chinese trees in the cypress family Cupressaceae (+Taxodiaceae) that are called cedars, and in fact most species of Phloeosinus are exclusively found in trees in this family. one likely species is Cunninghamia lanceolata, traditionally called "chinese fir" despite not being a fir but also more recently marketed as "chinese cedar" because that's how common names for species go.

oh and there is also the tree Toona sinensis in the family Meliaceae that's ALSO sometimes called "chinese cedar" for some reason but more importantly also called "beef and onion plant" lmao, but that was an even worse candidate for an artificial christmas tree trunk and also not a known host for the beetles. easily discounted but i had a laugh.

so my first angle of attack was to assume that the collection labels were correct and the beetles were in fact from a Cedrus tree. i was able to find a list of about a half dozen Phloeosinus species known to attack Cedrus cedars, but none of them were native to china. this would most likely mean that one of the mediterranean species had been transplanted to china for cultivation, which is entirely plausible. after digging though a bunch of literature i wasn't able to find a good key for Phloeosinus species in the entire area i wanted, but found a couple regional keys covering geographic ranges that when combined covered about what i wanted. for non-biologists, this is what a species key looks like:

sort of a choose your own adventure kind of thing but for determining a creature's true identity. anyway none of the results i got from these keys led to species who's descriptions matched the one that i had. i should also mention that my specimens had a rather distinctive feature unlike any other Phloeosinus species i'd ever seen before, which was an elytral vestiture consisting of these really funky little black explanate scales:

most Phloeosinus species have some kind of vestiture on their elytra but all the ones i'm familiar with have the hairs and scales light-colored and never shaped anything like this, so i figured that the description of the correct species would surely mention these scales.

so anyway dissatisfied with this avenue, i decided that the next most likely option is that whoever made the labels for the specimens was told that they had come from "chinese cedar" by the importer and had just assumed that meant Cedrus but it was actually one of the cypress family cedars. again most of the described species do in fact use Cupressaceae as hosts.

so next i found this UN report with a (hopefully) comprehensive list of all non-EU bark and ambrosia beetle species that attacked conifer trees. i culled from that a list of Phloeosinus species listed as coming from "asia." since that was too broad of an area, i then looked up all of these species in the species catalogues listed in the report, mostly Alonso-Zarazag et al (2007), though some were also listed in Wood and Bright (1992) or Bright and Skidmore (2002), which i happen to have physical copes of. from these i could narrow the list down to just species found in china.

now things became difficult because there are no keys to chinese Phloeosinus, or at least none in english. also even just written descriptions of many of these species were impossible to find because they were all written like 60-100 years ago and usually in chinese or german or french and had never been translated or uploaded anywhere online. likewise almost none of them had research-grade (or any) photos anywhere online.

so after hours of fruitless digging, the best i could come up with was a guide to scolytine beetles of korea (PDF link), which contained a key with a handful of the species on my list and did include english descriptions of these. now one of the species in the guide, P. perlatus, IS DESCRIBED as having dark scales, and my specimens did seem to land on that species when i ran them through the key. that's promising! and the hosts were on my list of possible non-Cedrus chinese cedars! also promising! buuuut something just didn't sit right with me. parts of the species description in that paper just didn't seem to quite match my specimens, like for example the size was a little off, described as being 2.4-3.4mm long, while all of mine were in the 3.3-3.6 range. plus the photos of the species, while distressingly low-resolution, just didn't look like mine.

okay so that was dissatisfying. i'd managed to whittle down my list of suspects a good deal from what little scraps of information i could find about them through my sleuthing, either the wrong hosts or the ones that did have english descriptions available online like in that korean guide didn't fit, but i was still left with several possible candidates and no way to narrow it down further, of course this all assuming that the beetles i had on my hands even were a species that had been scientifically described and named. bark beetles are a huge group of critters and many are quite understudied, especially in asia, and a bunch of new species are described every year!

i was about ready to just give up, but then by coincidence i had a reason to email a couple of high-level bark beetle researchers about a different beetle mystery i was also working on, which was in a group that they were the authorities on. on a whim, i mentioned my Phloeosinus conundrum to them to see if they had any ideas and they recommended i contact Dr. Roger Beaver. yeah, i know right? fucking kickass name i'm so jealous. sidenote: it's so funny how many bark beetle researchers have extremely appropriate names, like two of the biggest names in the field are Steve Wood and Dave Wood. no relation.

so anyway i contacted Dr Beaver, who had done some research on east asian Phloeosinus in the past and he was kind enough to send me an unpublished provisional key to chinese species that he had written up a few years ago. using that key, i ended up at "P. pertuberculatus (?=sinensis)" which means that there was some suspicion that P. pertuberculatus and P. sinensis were the same species, just described and named independently by two different entomologists (Hans Eggers and Karl Eduard Schedl respectively), as often happened, especially in the glory days of insane 18th-20th century european entomologists describing literally thousands of new species during their careers.

now these two species WERE both on my final list of suspects of chinese Phloeosinus species that hadn't otherwise been eliminated for one reason or another, and both had Cunninghamia "cedar" trees as known hosts. Dr Beaver was then kind enough to scan and send me the original descriptions of these two species:

which i was able to use google translate on:

not the nicest translation but still an admirable attempt on google's part to deal with all the entomological jargon, and most importantly the description of the elytral scales on P. sinensis definitely seems to match my specimens more than the pertuberculatus. plus i found a paper on taiwanese bark beetles (PDF) coauthored by Dr Beaver that had a (also distressingly low-resolution) photo of pertuberculatus that didn't seem to match my specimens:

aaand finally: i'd been trying for days to access the webpage of a chinese museum that popped up as the only notable result on a google image search for P. sinensis but every time the website would time out and the cached version of the image was too small to make out any details on, but it finally occurred to me this evening that the reason was probably because my work computer or work wifi was just automatically blocking chinese websites because of america's insane paranoia about chinese spying, and sure enough i opened it up on my home computer and it fucking worked!

that's a pretty fucking bang-on match for my specimens! the scales look right, the color is right, the size is right, the ass bumps are right, the host is right, the geography is right, and the translated description otherwise seems to match! here's mine again so you don't have to scroll all the way up:

so i'm calling this 26-year mystery solved! not all of the bug puzzles i've worked on have had as meandering of a path to their conclusion as this, but i thought that this one did display a good number of the different methods i use. the biggest thing that was missing was me wandering into my lab's massive library of old dusty entomology journals stretching back over a century and digging out some old article that never got scanned and put online, as often happens, but in this case since the bugs were asian and out library mostly covers north american entomology that wasn't going to be very fruitful.

hopefully this was interesting to... somebody besides myself. if you've read this far and weren't bored to tears then congratulations you probably have the same kind of brain damage as me!

[soshadysoquiet]

TUA S4 alternative options for the Five *event*

Spoilers below, not meant to be taken seriously FYI

Now, I like my Five as AroAce as I am (extremely). But given that TV shows and society has this bullshit propaganda that 'romantic love simply Must occur for a complete being!!' Here's some alternatives that they could have gone for that might have been just as bad but I'd have hated less. (BTW no hate if you write romantic Five Fanfic, not for me but you do you, just wanted this one character to be safe from canon romance)

Bring The Handler back: That would be one fucked up relationship, don't get me wrong, but given they wrote a destined-to-be-fucked romance, have Five struggling to adapt and being coerced into a relationship by her and then realising it's shady and he DOESN'T need this sort of connection because his FAMILY is enough for him and have him kill her.

Make him and his colleague have a thing. True, potentially also problematic as mentally depending on your POV he's 60 or 13 or some mingle-mangled nightmare of the two. In the favour of this pairing I have only that I liked (was it Derek??'s) character design, they've clearly got some similar interests as they work together, they will have therefore spent some quality time together in a Safe space where they could have made a reasonable connection.

Dolores is real in this timeline, or Five somehow birthed her into being. (honestly I thought his colleague was going to turn out to be Dolores and of all the possibilities I would have accepted that the most) For this to work I think Dolores would have needed to be one of the 43 all along and maybe someone who can transplant their consciousness who did similar to Five and got stuck like that, went comatose and mad with it (therefore staying around 13) until Five found her. There, with that, you can fudge around the problematic age thing, they grew up side by side. Thus she and Five really did have a connection, really could talk, and now he gets to live into his old age with someone both mentally and physically the same age as him.

Give him a therapy dog in Pennycrumb that's better than a romance surely who doesn't love a pet?

Kenny's Mom. Idk it would have been whacked AF but I would have laughed my head off and know Five had just lost the plot completely.

He falls in love with another version of himself he meets on the subway. Hell, why not make this a Five that changed gender in the apocalypse and met a mannequin named Donnie, that way we also get more queer representation. Yes, this would also, in fact, be weird AF. But legit hilarious and someone who can match his experience and intelligence. And age.

Let him just have one night stands, that's midway happy right for TV? Just don't make me watch any intimate scenes. You have a Whole other cast, use them. Hell, be brave, do a Klaus / Dave Ghost sexscapade instead.

He has re-found mannequin Dolores. Man has never dealt with his issues that we know of - the show never tells us he does. I thought when they first turned up in the apocalypse from the trains and the sunlight was shining on Dolores that Five was going to steal her. But he could also have just found her again because he couldn't cope.

I think that's exhausted all my awful joke options (though honestly the Dolores two aren't even that bad) would love to hear which your favourite out of these awful options is.

Please reblog for votes, I'm having way too much fun here.

[rudolphs-silver-hammer]

every single anti-transid argument is either rooted from anti-transgender arguments or misinformation btw

"trace is racist because trace beings will never have the experiences of the race they want to be!"

terfs say things like this about trans women, which already makes it a bad argument. people saying this also almost always assume that all trace people are physically white which... isn't true

"transid is a bad term because it's copying transgender!"

transgender is not the only word with the prefix "trans". there's transfusion, transformation, transplant, transparent, et cetera et cetera. "trans" as a prefix just means "to/on the other side of"

"transids are stupid because you can't transition to another race/having a disability/etc.!"

not only is this transmed rhetoric (implying you have to transition to be trans), it's also just simply incorrect. a large portion of disabilities, for example, are developed and not present at birth. you can go blind or deaf, you can get amputated, you can become paralyzed—you get the point.

no transabled person wants the bad parts of disabilities, they just want the quirky symptoms!

not true. i've seen several transabled and transseverity beings talking about how they were excited because they're showing negative symptoms/their negative symptoms are worsening. even for the beings where this Is true... most cisdisabled beings don't care for their negative symptoms either, but i don't see people getting mad at cisdisabled beings who say they wouldn't get rid of their disabilities even if given the chance

um, well, the transid term is still bad because it's pro harmful transitioning

ignoring the fact that you can transition with every single non-transharmful transid in a non-harmful way, this is still incorrect. although most pro-transid beings are pro-transition, transid as a term Itself is inherently neutral on all types of transitioning. you can be pro-transid and still anti-transitioning

if your only arguments are repackaged transphobia and literal lies, that means you're the one in the wrong

[tomorrowsgardennc]

garden update // august 27th 2024

it's greenhouse time.

besides the fact that the next two days have a heat index over 100°F... but trying REALLY HARD to keep these fall babies nice and cool. walking egyptian onions and microdwarf tomatoes won't mind the heat. but the kale and peas will!! hopefully they will be ok, and once this heat wave is over i'm starting soooo many more trays.

this time of year is perfect for planting any perennials, btw. i ordered me another little miss figgy to go with my first one. do i need two? no. but i feel like two is a good number for my garden. i have two blueberry bushes and two prickly pears, so why not two figs. the blue plastic containers have the bottoms cut off - a makeshift raised bed until i can build the one i really want around it. someday. it's also the perfect time of year to get hot peppers out of the ground and into the greenhouse for overwintering. they don't mind at all, and then next spring these babies will go right back into the ground (or sold at the market).

these two tall raised beds are gonna be for my garlic this winter. one has pepper plants that i'll be transplanting soon so i can top off with compost and i can get my softneck garlic started, but the other one. the other one is going to be a little bit of a worry. right now it's overflowing with sweet potato vine (and hoprfully full of purple sweet potatoes!) but i thought harvesting them was in september. turns out sweet potatoes you harvest the day before first frost... weeeee bit too late for garlic. i ordered some hardneck garlic so i can offer that next year to put here, but looks like i'll need to find a different spot for them or hope for the best. haven't decided yet.

1st year raspberry canes are turning yellow, which means they'll be ready to transplant to their final home soon. only issue is i haven't even BEGUN to get their final home ready 😐 they are going to replace the azalea bushes in the background, since they don't get shade anymore. hard to believe the front yard was full shade when we bought this house in 2016 and now there's not one bit of shade to be found - just yummy vegetables and fruit! (i'm stalling so i don't have to go outside and start ripping up azaleas shhhh). raspberries produce on 2 year old canes (or wood, stems, etc. idk why they call them canes) so transplanting them this fall is crucial.

i swear on my little miss figgy bushes that once this heat wave is gone it's go time. chronic illness PLEASE cooperate thank you 🙏

[at1nys-blog]

Sister and Girlfriend

Pairing: Danny Duquette x sister!reader; Danny Duquette x Isobel Izzie Stevens

Summary: you like Izzie and so your brother

A/N: Daisy is a nick name Denny gave his sister; I think I am late(?) to write for Grey's Anatomy but like until 2 weeks ago I wasn't very interested in this show but now? Damn is good, way better than Chicago Med sorry I had to, maybe. Btw this one contains spoilers from the season2 finale and if you are like me that is just now watching it and you are not on season3 please don't read but if you are like everyone else I know, is save for you to read.

Masterlist

You had been with Danny every step of the way, sacrificing your time to get him in and out every hospital in the country and every time it was just the same. Waiting and figting had started to be so tiresome for the both of you and Danny, he started to think that maybe God had other plans for him.

You were reading some tabloid, Danny was getting checked by a nurse when Dr. Bailey came inside the room followed by three interns.

"I hope seeing you here means they finally found you a heart" she said after saying hi to Danny.

"No offence, doctor, but I'm not a big fan of hospitals" he started with his usual stupid smile on. You rolled your eyes and got next to his best.

"She knows Denny. Doctor Bailey"

"Y/N how are you?" you shrugged it, meh as your answer was good enough for Miranda, especially since she had knew the Duquette siblings for a while now. "Okay, what do we know about Mr. Duquette?"

Denny didn't get a chance to the interns to talk that he started flirting with the blonde, you had to admit, she was very nice to look at but in that moment it was not the case to be all flirty and cheesy. You wanted to tell your brother but Miranda spoke for you, thanks Miranda, you noted for yourself.

"Danny Duquette, 36, admitted today for a heart transplant necessitated by a viral cardiomyopathy" Dr. Bailey asked her something, you didn't pay much attention, you knew what that meant, having heard it a couple of other times before it got stuck into your consciousness.

"That his heart is unable to fill and pump blood normally."

"That his heart is unable to fill and pump blood normally." you said under your breath. Denny looked at you for a moment before he was back at the blonde doctor with his stupid flirty smile on. You rolled your eyes once again that day.

It slipped your ears, the name of the doctor that was going to attend your brother, too occupied to lecture Denny in your mind. You wanted to tell him to act more like a proper patient and stop flirting with the doctor.

You saw the group leaving, for a second and that was your moment to talk to Denny about how he had to stop being so bold.

"You are making a mistake" you said. "I'm serious Denny, is a mistake and you should stop it before it gets out of control"

"Deisy come on, is harmless flirtying. Nothing is going to happen... I promise"

"Stick to your words or I'm going to kill you myself" he snorted at your threats as he always had done since he got sick. "I'm going to call mum. Do NOT flirt with your doctor mister, I'll know."

"Yes ma'am." he gave you the salute and tried to get comfortable in his new bed that year. He never noticed but everytime he stopped smiling you saw it. You were there to see how painfull it was for him this situation and you felt like a garbage sister, powerless and in need to do something even just a little.

The fresh air outside the hospital was a little blessing, staing inside the air started to feel saturated and everything felt so heavy: your head, your eyes, your bones and muscles. Everything felt like someone was crashing you under the weight of a giant rock, and knowing you had to call your mum was not making things better.

"Don't answer, please don't pick up th... Mum, hi. We could be better...yes, yes, is just a chek up so don't worry. No, I don't... mum listen is nothing too serious, Dr. Bailey visited him and for now is all doing... Yes, I'll say to Miranda you said hi, but listen... uhm uhm, okay fine just... Nevermind, I'll call you later. I love you, of course I'll tell Denny you love him" she hung up on you, as always. "Guess it would kill her to say I love you back"

"Problems?" a voice spoke behind you making you jump out of your skin. "Sorry didn't mean to scare you."

"Is okay" looking at her you recognised her from back in Denny's room. "you are dr..."

"Stevens, but you can call me Izzie if you like." pause. An embarazing silence feel between the two of you. "how do you know Duquette?" she asked to cut the tension that was growing by the seconds.

"I'm his sister, and about before I am very sorry. He thinks his problems could get him away with flirting with people"

"He does that a lot?" now that you thought about it, no. This was the first time Denny had been this bold with whoever was treating him and this was a surprise to you. "Is not like..."

"No, he actually never did that before. At least not in front of him but I guess I assumed. You had to take a minute recollecting your thoughts, closing your eyes you ran your fingers over them.

"You need some rest"

"No I'm fi... I guess I really do some good rest." but nontheless you didn't moved an inch, you were dying for some hours of good sleep but didn't want to stay away from your brother. "But what if something happens to him and I am not there?" you could feel your eyes starting to water, more and more. "I can rest tomorrow is okay. I need to stay with Denny as much as possible. See you inside Dr. Stevens." Izzie didn't even bother to correct you, it was not that big of a deal, she knew you had more important things to take care of.

It was during the third time that day that Izzie came to check up on Denny that you knew something was wrong, you had noticed Dr. Burke's expression in the hallway when he had called Stevens aoutside, that look on his face meant one thing: no heart available for Denny.

You scoffed and decided to take a walk around the hospital before your back was going to scream at you for how sore it was going to turn if you didn't move a little.

"Where are you going?" he sounded groggy and very weak, weaker than his usual but yet if he was at the hospital that meant it was way more serious than his usual.

"I need to move those babies if I don't want them to tingle for for ever." you joked, he scoffed before coughing. "Do I need to call someone?"

"No is nothing, go stroll around and bring me some decent food, better if is Dr. Stevens" you smiled at him saying you were going to do your best.

Izzie was the one that found you, she was your brother's doctor and she wanted to be the one breaking the news to you but you knew already, how couldn't you when Burke's face said it all?

Looking at her made it even more real, he didn't get the heart. Once again he was ripped off of a chance to start a new life, all over again. You wanted to cry, no, you needed to. It had been years since you let it all out and now you felt the need to do so.

"Here, if you need anything call me, even if it's not Denny related, I'll try my best to asnwer you" she said handing you her business card. You waited, just until she was back inside.

You were holding into the business card as your life depended on it, and you broke down. You started crying getting everyon's attention on you but you didn't care much right now. It really didn't matter what people had to say seeing you like that.

You felt it was yur fault, how was it possible other wise? Just the night before you had called Izzie and joked about how Denny was doing so fine.

"He doesn't want to see me anymore?" she had said laughing at her own words and you had faked being shocked telling your brother what a jackass he was being, not going to see a fine doctor as her? Unbelievable.

And now here he was, in the back of an ambulance while you were once again shaking, filled with anxiety to what was about to happen this time.

You followed the paramedics once on the site, one of them, you couldn't tell who, was shouting Denny's parameters. Some words, you could understand others just flew over your head as if they were nothing.

"YN?" turning around you saw Izzie

"I...we were... he was fine yesterday Izzie, he was cracking jokes and... now... Oh god Izzie please, help him. Please." few times you had begged for something, you didn't like to do that but in that situation you needed her help, you were useless for your brother.

"I'll do my be.." you couldn't handlet it anymore. Your legs started to feel like jelly and your head felt lighter in a second. You could tell you were going to faint. "Shit. Y/N? Y/N can you hear me? Alex come help me" that was the last thing you heard before loosing consciousness.

The bright white lights of the hospital were annoying, they were giving you a big headache that made you grumpy when you were not in the right situation to be that moody and grumpy.

"Where is Denny?" you only cared about your brother and nothing else, you didn't care if you had to regain your strenght or whatever you HAD to be next to Denny as soon as possible before it was too late "HELLO CAN SOMEONE ANSWER ME?"

"Ehy, easy tiger calm down"

"I will when somoene tells me where is my brother." sitting up you had to take a deep breath, your vision got blurry for a second. "So where is Denny Duquette?"

"They are running exams upstairs in..."

"Can you take me there?" the doctor wasn't answering and you were growing impatience by the seconds "you know what? I can go by myslef" leaving the bed was not a good idea, especially when you were trying to recover from fainting. Loosing a little bit of balance you almost fell onto the doctor.

"Okay, wait here." time started to go painfully slow, everything started moving in slow-motion and you felt like throwing up. It was so unfair what was happening but yet you had to see it coming, why on earth did you started to rest on your laurels? Why now? Nothing was different from your usual visits to the ER so why getting cozy now?

You had to get yourself back together, it was no time to show any sign of weakness not when your brother was in critical conditions.

The doctor was back pushing your way a wheelchair and helping you sitting there.

"Your ride is here ma'am"

"Is not time for chit-chatting, move now" you were never rude to people, but right now you didn't had the energies to have civil interactions with people that weren't Dr. Bailey, Burke, Izzie or your brother.

The walking upstairs seemed an infinite journey and the more you were away from Denny the more worried you were. You started to hyperventilate and in a closed space like an elevatore that was not good.

The doctor handed you a sachet, asking you to start breath in there before the situation got any worst. Following his orders you managed to bring your heart beat slowing down and so your breathing. You thanked him and finally you were on the right floor.

"Hi Y/N how are you doing? I've heard you fainted in front of the hospital" Preston was kind enought to ask how you were doing before saying anything about Denny's medical conditions.

"I had better days, how is..." Denny's machine started beeping in an allarming rate, Izzie was already inside when it happened, the doctor that was prior with you rushed inside followed by Bruke, you heard little to nothing about their conversation but you were sure it was a bunch of medical terms you couldn't understand even if you wanted to.

Nurses followed some minutes later working on the defibrillator and some minutes later they were using the paddles on him. First hit, first round of screaming. It wasn't enough, they went with a second shot and Denny was screaming once again, this time louder than before but at least this time his heart started to slow down his frenetic race, you could tell by the sound of the machine.

Wheeling inside the room Denny looked at you confused, why were you in a wheel chair?

"Are you trying to outstage me here? I'm the sick one of the family don't try and steal my spotlight" he joked making you and Izzie laugh a little.

"Nothing too serious, I just fainted when we arrived at the hospital no biggie" he gave you a little snort before going back to check on Izzie. She was working on his chart but still managed to lecture the both of you, saying how one day either one of you were going to give her a heart attack.

"Look at that my two girls stealing my thunder" there he was, back at cracking jokes left and right.

It had been a couple of months since the surgery, you had come to visit Denny at least once every day and thanked Izzie for staying on his side while you couldn't be there. During your visits Denny had talked to you about his scrabble games with the doctor and how he wanted to marry her.

"Dude you can't drop a bomb like this to me as if it was nothing" there was no way he told you like that, like it wasn't some very important decision. "but if you propose I would like to help you with preparations and stuff"

"Stuff? Really?"

"What? Is not like a cared too much to learn the proper terminology, but I am ready to do my best now that I know your plans for the future. Here" you covered him a little bit more, you didn't want him to feel cold, or maybe it was you that was cold. You didn't know, since Denny got sick you lived to make sure he was comfortable always every hour of the day.

Since the LVAD surgery your brother had more good days than bad ones but still on those no days it was very, very bad. He would yell at you and Dr. Stevens about he wanted nothing but just "walk to into the light" to which you and Izzie had tried multiple times to stop making him say nonsenses, but that only made him more angry at the two of you.

"I'm sorry" you had said sitting outside his room when you saw her leaving "he is usually not like that but.... all of this is just too much for him and he is getting tired to fight. I get it, but... I don't know what I would do without him. We made some promises. "

"I can imagine." she sat next to you "do you want to talk about your promises?"

"Nothing any other big brother is supposed to do, you know? Being overprotective, calling me every five minutes to know where I am and with who. He is supposed to scare away my dates, Izzie how can he do that if he is not there?"

"No, don't say that. He will get a new heart and he will recover faster than you can imagine. In no time he would be scaring away your dates while I tell him to chill out" she scoffed at her own words, she find it funny how she pictured herself with him outside the walls of the hospital.

"But we have to be realistic. He might not get a heart and even if he does he might not survive the transplant." silence. "Izzie? Am I a bad sister if I think he won't be able to survive?"

"No, you are not a bad sister"

It was the second time, you were sure you were calling it because it was not possible. It couldn't be. He had to get better, he had to be better becuase he had things to take care of. He had to marry Izzie and you had to help them with preparation and stuff; he had to scare your dates away and protect you; he had to recover and yet he didn't.

He was gone, just like that. He was doing fine and then, in a blink of an eye he was gone. He had walked into the damn white light to never come back.

"You can't do this to me Denny. For fuck sake man, you were supposed to stay by my side." You hoped it was one of his sick prank that he played on you to give you a heart attack and to fuel your trust issues even more. You hoped he was just faking being dead because there was no way the surgery wasn't going to be successful. As fast as Denny left you started crying, you cried like you never did before.

You were sad, angry, tired and a lot more. You couldn't list all the emotions you were feeling but there was a lot going on in your head and body. Izzie was next, crying her soul out angry by the fact that just a couple of hours ago he was proposing and now he was heading to the mourge.

Dr. Torres and Karev had to try and calm.you too down but how can you do that when a sister just lost her brother and a girl her fianceé? You sure can give it a try but you sure as hell were going to fail.

It had been weeks, how many you didn't know, you just knew that Meredith proposed you to stay with her, George and Izzie so they could make sure you were going to let yourself die. And there you were, in bed (Meredith's) staring at the rooftop, so white it made your eyes tear up every single day. Izzie on the other hand was back on her feet, still broken but yet she managed to move on, a little bit.

A knock on the door, you ignored it, Izzie's voice told you they were leaving and that you had some breakfast just outside the door and they had left some food in the fridge if you felt like eating and the cupboards were filled with junk food if you prefered that. She said her goodbyes and you kept silence, not able to say a word.

It was when you heard the main door closing behind them you started crying feeling like an enormous, huge weight got off your shoulders. Today you gave the time to be weak, today and just for today you allowed yourself to grief in peace without feeling guilty.

[ashyjingles]

Who is the raeken

THEO RAEKEN FROM TEEN WOLF AKA ONE OF THE SADDEST BITCHES IVE EVER SEEEEEN

(tbh with the way u like jason grave i have a feeling u might like theo too actually)

okay so massive spoiler warning if you ever do plan on watching teen wolf everything is under the cut just in case

OKAY SO (i could be so wrong about some of this stuff btw i haven't actually finished the show)

theo raeken had some sort of heart condition as a kid so when he was 8 or 9 these evil scientists showed up in his dreams/house and told him he could live a normal healthy life because his sister (who was about a year older than him) actually wanted to give him her heart!! all he had to do was bring her to a bridge over a very cold river/creek/stream in the middle of winter and watch as she froze to death in it. (i'm unsure if it was him or the evil doctors that pushed her in there, but he did watch her die and did nothing to save her) (he later defended his actions by saying he still believed santa at the time and didn't know she would actually die from it but he's a known manipulative little shit) and then he basically got a heart transplant after that

anyways the evil scientist doctors (called the dread doctors) then used science to turn him into an off brand werewolf through many very questionable processes that probably didn't include anesthetic. vivisection! woo!

anyways he grew up with them in the sewers for nearly a decade while the doctors experimented on other science-natural teenagers but none of them actually lived and were labeled "failures" but somehow theo? the first experiment? was successful all those years. so. anyways that happened until they decided to start their big massive project that would basically make theo useless

so naturally theo took on his own big project that involved taking down the main protagonist of the series through lots of manipulation and seeming like a helpful good mostly normal 17/18 year old boy just to turn around and kill one of them (who was resurrected like 5 minutes later so it doesn't count) and lots more betraying and leaving for dead involving other people. honestly it's a miracle there was so little death surrounding him in this era

anyways when that didn't work he resurrected some of the failures and basically went along the lines of "i saved you so i own you now" and then killed some of them for real. and then the main protagonists needed a way to stop him so they sent him to what was basicallyyyy hell (i think before this he helped killing the doctors?? i'm not sure i haven't actually watched that bit. the doctors are dead at this point in time tho)

anyways in hell his sister routinely chased him through a hospital and ripped his heart out in this fucked up time loop. imagine sisyphus but worse. fields of punishment type deal. (very popular quote where he tells her "you don't have to stop" while he's like fucking coughing up blood or something)

anyways because of another big bad the protagonists were facing one of them decided to pull him out of hell (his name is liam and they are very commonly shipped together. there are some rumors they were meant to be canon in the show but weren't) and basically decided to label theo as his responsibility but their relationship was very punchy for a long while

anyways theo goes through a lot of shit and despite previously very clearly only caring for himself he lowkey contradicts everything he says ("im not dying for you!"-theo "im not dying for you either! but i will... fight with you"-liam (and then theo proceeds to throw himself directly into the line of fire to save liam the lying liar)) (would also like to note the place they are at for this era is the hospital and theo very clearly is Not Okay with the reminders of his time in hell. traumatized bitch. i love him my little murderous meow meow.)

anyways they leave on not quite good terms but no longer murderous terms and theo lives in his truck for a while because the doctors are dead and he can't go back to sewers so he's effectively homeless.

anyways the guy he Kind Of Killed But Not Really then calls and says hey!! liam (the person who sort of tolerates him in exchange for help) needs help!! can you help him!!! and for whatever reason despite several months between the last big bad and this big bad theo still hasn't skipped town so he does in fact go help liam. and lots of scenes that set him on the path to a redemption arc (plus a better relationship with liam)

and then. that's the end of the show. i will now attach sad and bleeding pictures of my murderous little meow meow to sway you toward feeling affection for him

and then the smug/evil look because he's not very vocal about being sad okay he's actually an intolerable little shit most of the time and that's why i love him

pinterest give me better photos of him damnit half of these are ass

we call his short hair his hedgehog hair and it's a very large indicator that he's evil thank you

can you see why i like him please tell me you see why i like him

pspsps i can give a much better and more detailed (and sadder) description if u want but i feel like this covers the basics

[tbhimnoteasyonmyself]

ABOUT 4/4 EP.12

We can all have our own opinions about Day getting a successful eye transplant. We're all allowed to like, dislike, have mixed feelings, whatever about it. But I think some things need to be addressed about the ways we express ourselves and how we interact with other people.

First of all, let it be known: I would 100% prefer Day didn't get his sight back. I think it would be more meaningful to the narrative of growth and learning and would send out a positive message that disabled people aren't missing something, they're just as whole as everyone else. And that happiness is possible in its entirety for us too, regardless.

This being said, what I'm about to say has nothing to do with my personal opinion of the ending but about the way people are handling things here.

1st of all, no one's opinion rules over anyone else's, even when/if that is the opinion of the majority. Fandom doesn't have a hierarchy and it's not a political system either so it doesn't matter if "a lot" or even "most" people think a certain way. They're still not more or less right than anyone else. Period.

Furthermore, an artistic creation belongs to its creator(s) in the sense that they can do whatever they want with it. Can you think it sucks? Yeah, sure. But you can't tell them what they can or can't do.

So, this thing of people acting like Aof should've done X instead because "it's what everyone wanted" is pure bs. Let that be clear.

Then, okay, you just don't like the ending. Should you not say it? No. By all means, do. This is fandom, after all. It thrives on opinions. And points of view. But you have to do so respectfully. "So I can't say it's shit??" Not a all. You can say it's shit. What you can't do is say "and everyone who disagrees is ableist" or say you consider the ending ableist (which, btw, fair, you can definitely see it that way) and then imply that any positive opinion of the ending is likewise ableist. Why? Because this is art and, thus, subjective. And opinions, big shocker I know, tend not to be black or white. Even more so when, as far as I've seen at least, there's a considerable amount of disabled people in the fandom and some of us liked the ending. So what? Are you gonna just assume all of those people are ableists?? Like, sure, just like women can be misogynistic so can disabled people be ableist but that definitely should not be the assumption you make about the group right away. And I don't think it would be a fair thing to say even if the person you're attacking isn't disabled, so... It's just stupid. To not be able to take an opposite opinion to yours or frame your opinion in a way that it makes it seem like everyone with a different one is evil is just fucking stupid. And childish.

So please, if you're mad at the ending, understandable, but take a step back. Breathe. Bite a pillow, punch a bag, call your friends to complain, go on Discord with the besties, idk... But take that step back. And then come back and comment on all the reasons why you don't like it, by all means, we love analysis. But don't be an asshole. Pls don't be an asshole.

Thank you <3