#this is not for the regulus sympathizers

[vajazzly]

alright first off -

having critical thinking skills isnt a privilege - regulus NOT having to critically think about his politics is actually the privilege there. despite going to a school where he interacts with halfbloods, muggleborns, etc., not only attending classes with them but also living with them, eating meals with them, playing sports with them, he chooses not to acknowledge their humanity or right to live and instead join a comically evil alt-right hate group.

and why does he join the death eaters? orion and walburga may have thought voldemort had the right idea, but they werent death eaters themselves. in fact, the closest relative regulus has who is directly involved in the war is - you guessed it - sirius!

the best explanation i can come up with for why regulus, who was in a position of immense privilege and could have completely stayed out of the war as many pureblood families did, would join an alt-right militia is that they were winning. joining up with the winning side would certainly mean benefits for not only regulus but the house of black in general, and regulus doesnt HAVE to think critically about the politics of what hes joining, so he doesnt! because joining voldemort benefits HIM.

and thats the crux of my issue with regulus. because even when regulus betrays voldemort, the catalyst isnt - i dont know - murdering muggles or muggleborns, its the realization that voldemort is trying to become immortal. that means that no matter what happens, in a world where voldemort succeeds regulus and his house will always be voldemorts subjects, always ruled over as opposed to ruling, and ruled by someone who has stepped outside of the bounds of what as seen as acceptable amounts of comic evil.

once again: regulus had more of an issue with voldemorts desire to become immortal than his politics.

i do agree with the point that hogwarts not teaching social sciences or humanities is a problem. that being said, the students live, for nine months out of the year, in a microcosm of wizarding society. admission to hogwarts is not based on blood status, socieconomic status, or any other factor besides magical ability (there are issues with that approach to admissions too, but i digress). in the books the students are depicted as being politically aware as early as their first year, and this is primarily because the issues of the wizarding world, especially when concerning blood status, are very real for them. hermione, for example, is not afforded the privilege of being politically unaware because she has slurs thrown at her and others belittling her constantly as early as second year, and this discrimination is being primarily perpetrated not by teachers or other adults but by other students her own age, who are able to parrot the things they learn from their parents without critical thought because they are coming from privilege.

its fair to say that hogwarts has more of a responsibility to teach its students to think critically about their politics, but its also fair to point out that developing ones politics is a personal responsibility, especially when the plan is to violently impose those politics on others. also, critical thinking isnt something people really learn through school, ive found - instead its a skill honed from life experiences, and pondering the consequences of those life experiences. regulus had plenty of opportunities to think about his own politics critically because he was surrounded by people who would be negatively impacted by his ideology EVERY DAY for SEVEN YEARS, but thinking of muggleborns as people was inconvenient for him, so he chose not to.

thats why regulus is a follower piece of shit to me, not a tragic figure. hes afforded every opportunity to think for himself, but doing so is inconvenient, so he doesnt. and the one time he does, its not spurred on by any greater moral epiphany, but because voldemorts desire for immortality and willingness to do what it takes to achieve it was morally wrong by his previously held conservative values.

edit: oh yeah, i forgot to add reguluss other main issue with voldemort: he hurt kreacher, his house elf, who, sure, was reguluss friend, but its not like regulus was a likely champion of house elf rights - no, regulus was mad because voldemort hurt someone he saw as being his property, and that pissed him off.

edit 2: oh yeah also remember the voldy vision board on his wall???? kpop stan behavior for a blood supremacist is his most prominent canon personality trait.

less regulus being an intellectual sad boy more regulus being the most brain-dead follower piece of shit ever. hes in a cult. a pyramid scheme. a frat. finance. he failed every humanities course he ever took because of his sheer inability to analyze anything or think for himself. all he wants is for someone to tell him what to do!!!!

[quillkiller]

i always see hc’s about sirius & lily bonding over their estranged relationships with their siblings but what we really need to discuss is how it’s another reason for them to mistrust and/or dislike and/or not respect each other because reg & lily feel like they were abandoned while sirius & petunia are the older siblings who left them behind ..

[butterfly-wish]

James potter when he realizes that people ship him with his friend’s racist death eater brother

[swag696942069]

An idea I got while watching Home Alone

Sirius and Remus, on the plane, enjoying life

Sirius: I have a gut feeling like I'm forgetting something

Remus: Pads, we have everything, we have everyone, we did all that we needed to do. We're fine!

Sirius, slightly shaking his head, looking through his bag: Still I can't shake the feeling. Did we turn off all the lights?

Remus: Yes.

Sirius: Did I lock the door?

James, popping his head up from the seat infront of them: No. I did *smirks*

Sirius, tilting his head: Did we lock the gate?

Remus, thinking for a second: You know what? That's what it is. We forgot to lock the gate.

Sirius, let's out a sigh of relief: Oh.

Peter: See? Everythings fine Pads.

Sirius, nodding along: Yeah, right. I don't know why I was so worried. We'll just have Reg ask Crouch to shut the- *moment of realization* OH MY GOD WE FORGOT REG!!!

Everyone starts panicking

Meanwhile back at home:

Regulus, sitting down at the kitchen counter, bed head, looking around: Siri, James? Remus? Peter? *Looks around some more, takes a breath as realization hits* DID THOSE MOTHERFVCKERS FORGET ME!?!?!?

[realmothchu]

wanting to read regulus centric/fix it fics but all the best ones are jegulus.. 😭

[theicarusconstellation]

what if i abandoned every social media platform other than tumblr because of how fucking stupid people are about regulus

[starchasersunseeker]

"You're just like the nazis if you ship jegulus / if you like Regulus / Barty / Evan / any character that was a death eater"

What the fuck is wrong with you all??? That's not a good take you think it is.

My great grandparents were literally in concentration camps. How dare you make such an awful comparison? Comparing FICTIONAL CHARACTERS to real life events is actually very sick of you. To call someone a nazi or nazi sympathizers just because they enjoy exploring FICTION makes you a very gross person.

I don't care if you think you're superior for liking a different ship or for hating certain characters. You are not. You're actually well bellow everyone else for making such horrible comparisons. You are playing limbo with the underground with how terrible you are.

[oxyvouge]

ੈ never have i ever kissed you. ✩‧₊˚

summary: wherein you, the marauders, lily, marlene and regulus played the muggle game "Never Have I Ever."

━━ ✦ pairing(s): marauders, lily, marlene and regulus x fem! reader

━━ ✦ warning: kissing

━━ ✦ word count: 1.3k

author's note: lets just pretend they have a high tolerance or theyre a lil affected by it cuz i forgot to write it down there 😭. btw sirius and reggie r on good terms here and also — ITS DANE DEEHAN'S PETER AND I CANNOT NOT ADD HIM WHEN HE'S HOT 😭😭😭😭

THE MARAUDERS, a few other friends, and you gathered in the common room, forming a circle for a muggle game Lily called "Never Have I Ever." The concept piqued your interest; it was something entirely new to you and sounded like you would have a good time especially when you heard how the game works.

But before that you, Sirius, Peter, and Lily went to the kitchens to take some snacks, glasses, and a few bottles of firewhisky for this and went back to the common room where the others were waiting and circled.

Lily initiated the round, her eyes scanning each person in the circle. "Never have I ever," she began, a mischievous glint in her eyes, "tasted the poop flavor in Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans." Laughter erupted as James, Remus, and a few others reached for the firewhisky and took a drink. Sirius and you couldn't help but burst into laughter too, sympathizing with their unfortunate experiences.

"It was bloody awful! Feels like I was gobbling up Pads' poop by mistake." James wrinkled his nose, wincing as the firewhisky blazed its way down his throat. Sirius burst into laughter, but his chuckles abruptly halted as James' comment hit his ears and you choked on your saliva. With a flushed face, Sirius playfully smacked James on the back, eliciting a groan from him. "Fuck."

The empty glasses clinked as they were refilled, the game continuing with fervor. Seated next to Lily, Marlene was thinking of what to ask. "Never have I ever lost my chocolate frog and found it in front of a teacher." Peter drank his firewhisky.

"I remember this!" You exclaimed with a chuckle, clutching a treacle tart. "Peter lost his chocolate frog while going inside the castle from Hogsmeade and tried to go after it only for it to end up in Professor McGonagall's palms. Then, she gave it to Peter and Peter ate it after brushing the dirt away."

Remus took his turn, a playful glint in his eyes. "Never have I ever been caught by Filch while out of bed after curfew." The Marauders, excluding Remus and including you, raised their glasses to their lips, taking hearty swigs of firewhisky.

Lily's eyebrows arched curiously, her gaze shifting toward you. "Even you, Y/N?" You shrugged with a sheepish grin, caught in the act. "What were you up to?"

You intended to avoid the question, but Marlene piped up, unable to resist the urge to share, "Oh, it's either she's setting up pranks with them," She gestured towards the infamous Black and Potter duo, who responded with knowing smirks, "Or she's engaged in some secret snogging rendezvous with Black."

"Which Black are we talking about here?" You countered mischievously, casting an amused glance at both brothers.

"Both," Marlene replied with an air of nonchalance, earning a round of chuckles from the group, a coughing Regulus, and a shock i-don't-know-what-to-say-i-feel-betrayed Sirius.

The blonde female had frequently stumbled upon them in rather compromising situations. On various occasions, it happened to be you and Regulus emerging from a cupboard, catching Marlene on her way to class. The sight of you and the younger boy with tousled hair, swollen lips, and flushed cheeks was hard to miss. Marlene also vividly remembered the time she stumbled upon you and Sirius, who were well on their way to shagging, both only partially clothed and entangled on the bed. Fortunately — for Marlene's case — she barged in before all the rest of their garments were thrown on the floor and preventing further embarrassment.

Honestly, who could really blame her? It wasn't her decision to conduct such activities within a shared dorm room, where other roommates also resided.

Marlene's cheeks heated as memories replayed in her mind. She shook her head, murmuring, "It's a traumatic experience."

Seated between you and Remus, Sirius wore a knowing smirk, mischief glinting in his eyes. Your heart fluttered as you felt a tinge of nervousness, his transparent mischievousness making you uneasy. "Never…" He began, his words causing a slight stumble in your breath as he continued, "have I ever kissed Y/N." Once more, you found yourself momentarily taken aback, a surprised reaction escaping you.

Sirius' gaze swept across the group, his smirk growing as he met each person's eyes, enjoying their reactions. With a feeling of delightfulness, he snatched the bottle of firewhisky and took a victorious swig. Nearby, Regulus raised an eyebrow, his amusement detached yet evident, as he took a casual sip of his own firewhisky. "Just u—" He began, his sentence left hanging in the air, a smirk curving his lips.

Lily roll her eyes and playfully retort, "Trying to embarrass everyone now, are we? Well, I can't say I'm surprised. Cheers to your boldness, I suppose." She then took a sip of her firewhisky, shaking her head with a mix of amusement and annoyance at Sirius' antics.

"Wait a second — everyone?" Sirius exclaimed, his tone a mix of disbelief and amusement. Marlene couldn't contain herself and erupted into laughter, finding the situation utterly comical. With a gleeful grin, she grabbed the firewhisky and took a big gulp. "Even McKinnon? Seriously, Y/N, how did you do it?" Sirius continued, his smirk growing wider.

Observing the scene, Remus couldn't help but roll his eyes playfully, his expression a blend of exasperation and fondness. He reached for his firewhisky and took a measured sip, his gaze briefly locking with yours.

You nonchalantly replied. "She was asking me to teach her how to kiss — who am I to refuse?" Peter let out a nervous chuckle and take a small sip of firewhisky.

As Sirius noticed the sip Peter took, his eyebrows arched mischievously. He glanced at you and exchanged an amused look with Lily. Lily, her curiosity piqued, raised an eyebrow and inquired, "Even Peter?" Her surprise was evident, the corners of her lips twitching in a mixture of astonishment and amusement.

All eyes turned to James, who met their gaze with an intrigued quirk of his eyebrow. His gaze then shifted to you, his lips curling into a mischievous grin as he leaned back in his chair. "Looks like I've fallen a bit behind, haven't I?" he mused, a glint of determination lighting up his eyes.

In a flash, he rose from his seat, a confident swagger in his step as he dropped down to one knee in front of you. His presence felt magnetic as he leaned closer, his hand gently cupping your cheek, and before you could fully process the moment, his lips met yours in a quick, playful kiss.

The room was filled with a collective gasp as all eyes turned to both of you as James pulled back, a triumphant smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. James then took the bottle of firewhisky from Sirius and chugged the remaining liquid down.

A mixture of shock, amusement, and admiration swept across their faces. Lily's jaw dropped slightly and twitching into an amused smile. Remus's eyebrows shot up, his usual composed demeanor momentarily replaced by astonishment. Sirius's playful grin widened into genuine surprise, and even Peter seemed momentarily stunned, his mouth hanging open. Marlene let out an excited whoop, her surprise quickly turning into enthusiastic cheers. Regulus raised an eyebrow, a subtle flicker of being taken aback swept across his features.

James' smirk softened into a warm grin as he glanced at you, his eyes locking onto yours for a heartbeat before he turned back to the others. "Honestly, Prongs." You stated recovering from your surprised state with a fond smile tugging on your lips.

A mischievous glint danced in Marlene's eyes as she playfully nudged Sirius with her elbow. "Seems like you're not the only one stealing the show tonight, Black."

A warm chuckle rumbled from Remus as he shook his head, a genuine fondness reflecting in his gaze. "You've outdone yourself, Prongs."

Even Regulus's typically stoic expression softened, a subtle twitch at the corner of his mouth betraying his amusement. "Quite the move," he conceded.

you can make a request here where you'll be guided by the guidelines and check out the masterlist.

[itsriotmotherfuckers]

Soooo tired of people talking about how Regulus was “going against his family” and “the scapegoat” and “an outcast of the Blacks” because like… he wasn’t. He did exactly what his family wanted at all times. He joined the Death Eaters completely willingly. He was a blood supremacist. He was a shit person. He was the favourite child.

Now, if you ARE looking for someone who actually spent their whole life going against the Blacks, was an outcast, and was the scapegoat, I would like to introduce you to Sirius Black. Or maybe you’re looking for Andromeda Tonks? Because you’re sure as hell not looking for Regulus Black. Bro had a damn shrine to Voldemort. And, sure, if you really want to argue that he changed at the end of his life, maybe he did, but that is not the same as being like Sirius or Andromeda.

And listen to me for this one, yeah? When Sirius called Regulus “soft” in OOTP, he did not mean that Regulus was a sweet, touchy, kind-hearted, loving little thing. He meant that Regulus was naïve, too trusting of their parents, and had no spine when it came to their family, thus becoming a prick. Regulus was not a cute little baby, he was an asshole.

I joined the Marauders fandom to obsess over the Marauders, not join the Death Eater sympathizers club.

(Mind you, I have absolutely made Regulus and the Pantheon end up being good people in some fics, so maybe I’m a bit hypocritical. This does not mean that in cannon they were anything other than pieces of shit. Let’s also note that having fun is okay, and you don’t need to always abide by the books. It just ticks me off when people manage to get the things we know about these characters so egregiously wrong that they claim that the cannon and fannon Pantheon are the same.)

[del-stars]

Omg your tag of Walburga dying thinking Sirius was a DE has me THINKING

Originally my plan was for her to die knowing Peter was the traitor and satisfied that her son has one final punishment for the rest of his life

But like ... why would she know? Would Tom have told her?

Walburga dying thinking Sirius was a DE and being extremely smug about how he was truly a Black at his core all along... how the people who took her son from her (she blames the Potters for Sirius escaping) are all wiped out except for a baby because of Sirius... interesting ...

this is something that keeps me awake at night like my god. walburga DIES thinking sirius is a DE. bc yeah i dont think she would've known that peter was the traitor. personally i dont hc her as very involved in the DE stuff (i think she would think that sort of thing is below her but that's another post) but even if she were i would imagine that peter's identity as the mole would be kept very secret. so the DEs generally would know that there is a mole but not necessarily who it is, and then walburga would naturally conclude that it's sirius after everything goes down.

i think outwardly she would be smug like yeah okay her heir really was a good little blood supremacist in the end so take that haters... but i actually think she would be devastated. she wouldve had verrry complex feelings abt sirius leaving home & to find out he ended up becoming a DE anyway ?? that he ended up murdering the family he left her for ?? that he killed james potter - the boy who sirius abandoned his entire family for ?????? and he ended up being a blood supremacist all along - the thing he despised them for ??? the thing he always hated walburga for being ??????? and REGULUS, the one who was meant to step up as heir, is the one who was (again, in her mind, not knowing the truth) a coward and a defector ???? oh i'd be crashing out bad if i were her. i think a lot about her roaming the halls of grimmauld in that in-between period, when orion and regulus are dead, thinking about her only remaining family member rotting in azkaban. her baby, her firstborn, locked away. she'd be struck with this sense of not having known sirius at all - he wasn't the rebellious teenager, apparently, he wasn't a muggle sympathizer, and he wasn't james potter's brother, in the end. and he didn't hate her, maybe. maybe he didn't hate her as much as she thought he did. and now he's locked up forever, and she'll never get the chance to ask him. so she lets herself waste away in that house, and sirius' trial is the last time anybody sees her alive.

[corwnvus]

people and especially women of color are allowed to dislike regulus and any death eaters. you are white as i have literally seen you before and you don’t get to tell people what does & doesn’t make them uncomfortable. many people don’t and can’t sympathize with bigotry even if fictional bc or their own experiences. but it is easy for you to look past it bc you don’t face that.

I never said you cant hate regulus. Hate him idc ill still draw him. The problem is when you come into my asks and say you don't like him. I don't like oranges or people who drive big cars, I don't go around telling people who like oranges or big cars they are awful. Oppression on my skin colour isn't somthing I face but I'm a disabled, queer trans man... I've faced Oppression. Also I know regulus and barty and even and bellatrix... eta are awful people, I don't shy away from talking about that and making sure that is seen and portrayed in my art.... but im not gonna hold a fictional character accountable???

You are gonna hate the other characters I like in other fandoms... (sa, genocide, murder, abuse, kidnaping, torture) just cus I think characters are interesting dosnt mean I adopt their morals.... how long have you been in fandoms? Why are we acting like liking bad characters is a bad thing now?

This all started cus I told someone who likes my jily art but hates my jegulus art to scroll past it.... people need to get a hobby or like a job or a pet idc at this point

[deathnguts]

I think because Barty and regulus are friends a lot of people I’ve seen overlook that like, to an outsider, their relationship is textbook Romeo and Juliet.

Bartemius Crouch Sr is a muggle sympathizer, super anti dark magic, and he probably worked so hard to become minister to try and sift through the corruption and change how the magical board regulates such taboo magic and the pure blood ideals that often comes with it. I can’t imagine he would be passive in the face of the Black’s control of the ministry, or particularly like them much. Mrs Crouch (no canon name) was a good mother who cared for her son but was probably too meek to outright stand up to her husband, but she tried to make up for it by making life when he wasn’t home as good as she could. I don’t imagine she would have much of a high opinion on Walburga if she ever found out what sort of mother she was.

Orion Black is the exact corrupt, dark magic wielding, pure blood supremecist that the Crouch’s hate so much, and I imagine that he doesn’t take too kindly to Crouch coming in and outweighing him in political power just to change the magical world the Black’s used to practically own in favor of the ‘woke’ agenda. Walburga Black was not a good mother even if she did care for her children and she was not meek. While she respected her husband for being the man of the house, she knew she outweighed him in power over their children and she was not timid around him. She punished she children as she saw fit and instilled impossible expectations and ideals on them that they never had a break form even when she wasn’t home. I imagine she would find any ‘lesser’ woman weak.

So when they’re at school, away from the prying eyes and controlling hands of their parents, and they choose to spend that time together? They take on their completely opposite expectations wearing the mask they need to and go back to the same four walls to take it off and only be truly themselves with each other?? If their parents ever found out they’d be fucking livid???

Barty is the Crouch’s only child, a perfect son. Him being a death eater was a surprise, they never imagined he was someone else behind closed doors. Or who was with him when he was.

Regulus was the second, but still perfect choice. Whether you imagine him being cis and simply thrust into being the new heir and knowing he can’t afford even a small mistake lest he be compared to who he’s replacing; or you imagine he’s trans and was simply the perfect daughter that they planned to marry off to who they wanted to choose to become the new heir Black, he still couldn’t afford to be seen as any lesser or bring any more embarrassment to the family and ruin their reputation more.

The two perfect children that no one expected would act out, doing so together.

[wastelandmoony]

Déjà Vécu: Cough Syrup

Chapter Thirty-Six : Cough Syrup

Characters: Remus Lupin/Reader, Sirius Black/Reader (no use of y/n), James Potter, Petter Pettigrew, Regulus Black, Marlene McKinnon, Mary MacDonald, Lily Evans

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI.

TW for this chapter: mentions of abuse, mentions of SA, use of the word r*pe.

Déjà Vécu Masterlist

Companion Playlist

Read on AO3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sound of muffled voices buzzed close-by, along with the smell of Earl Grey and laundry soap. She groaned softly as one of the voices drew closer. 

“Shhh…it’s okay.”

A gentle hand ran over the top of her head. Eyelids cracking open, the blurry image of Remus came into view. She lifted her head and tried to gaze around; the mismatched furniture paired with the homey smell signaled they were at Molly and Arthur’s house. “Relax, we’re safe.”

Groggily, she blinked at him, “W-what happened?”

“You were stupefied.”

She groaned again, shutting her eyes, “Fuckin’ Barty…”

Remus let out an exasperated chuckle, “You also got a nasty slice on your arm thanks to one of ‘em, but Molly was able to patch it up as best she could.”

Moving slightly, the pain in her arm had definitely dulled, though she now sported a large bandage wrapped around her bicep. “How’d we get back here?”

Remus sighed; he looked so tired. “I caught you before you fell, and just apparated to the first place I thought of.”

She raised an eyebrow, “Which happened to be Molly’s house?”

He shook his head, “Great Russell Street.”

“…The British Museum?”

Remus nodded sheepishly, “You love it there…anyway, it’s not important. Once I saw no one had followed, I brought us here. You were bleeding pretty badly, and I just knew Molly’d be the best that could help on such short notice…”

She took his hand and squeezed it, watching the tension in his shoulders ease. Sitting up slowly, the room spun only slightly as Remus held her shoulders steady.

“I’ll go grab Molly, she’d want to know you were awake. Prongs is here too, he’s standing watch outside—”

“—he should be at home with Lily! The baby could come any day—“ Her feeble protest was silenced by a commotion in the next room over. 

“—get the fuck off me, James—“

A dull thump, followed by footsteps.

“Where is she?”

“Calm down, mate. She’s fine, you can’t go in there acting like—“

“Where is she?!”

Sirius flew around the corner looking livid. The moment his wild eyes landed on her, every feature in his face softened. 

“I’m sorry…“ she started, as he kneeled before the small couch and cupped her face. His grey-blue eyes searched for any and all injuries, falling on the bandage covering the better part of her left arm. Sirius’ voice was soft as he brushed her hair back, “We’ll talk about it later…” 

As quickly as he’d arrived at her side, he was standing, turning to Remus. “You knew what the mission was, and you let her go?” Sirius’ voice began to take on a sharp edge, “You promised to keep her safe. We agreed.”

Remus visibly deflated a bit, mouth opening to speak before she intervened.

“He did keep me safe, he’s the one that brought us back here. Remus got us out—”

“You let her walk into a den of fucking wolves as bait!” Sirius shouted at his friend, not even acknowledging her statement. 

“She wasn’t bait, she had a cover—“

Sirius let out a bitter laugh, “As what? A little werewolf-sympathizer, there to support her poor, bitten friend?” 

“I work for the Ministry you fucking asshole,” she spat, blood beginning to boil at the minimization of her efforts, “Or have you forgotten? Too busy trying to play the fucking rogue hero all the time.”

Sirius’ eyes were blazing as he glanced over a shoulder, “Better than playing a faux savior.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“At least I’m not pretending to be making a difference.”

A sucker punch to the gut. All air had been sucked from her lungs as she stared at Sirius, the love of her life, suddenly a stranger. She knew how he got when he was this angry; the words just spewing out of him with no filter and no remorse until after-the-fact. It was a trauma response, one that was built over years and years of abuse growing up. She knew that, she’d accepted it and vowed to help him work on it. She’d just never been on the receiving end before.

“Don’t fucking talk to her like that,” Remus stepped closer, fists clenched at his side, “Just because she’s not going around blasting apart Death Eater strongholds, doesn’t mean she’s not helping. This mission gave us a lot of valuable intel, and it wouldn’t have been possible without her.”

Sirius continued to glare at him, “You let her walk into a fucking ambush!”

Remus shook his head, “It wasn’t an ambush, everything was fine and under control—“

 “Under control?!” She could hear the panic in Sirius’s voice, the shrill tone echoing throughout the room. For a split second, Walburga’s face flashed in her mind; a memory from years ago in Diagon Alley. The same tone Sirius’s mother had used to chastise her in the street was almost identical to the one he shouted at Remus with. The thought caused a shiver to creep up her spine.

“You let her walk into a room full of Death Eaters and fucking werewolves, without backup, and you want me to consider that ‘under fucking control’?”

She crossed her arms defiantly, “We’re fine. We just…had a little hiccup, but it all worked out.”

Remus nodded fondly, “Her quick thinking got us out of it. Everything would’ve gone smoothly if it wasn’t for Rosier and Crouch—“

Immediately, she felt the blood drain from her face.

Sirius slowly turned to look at her, and suddenly they were back in the Forbidden Forest, his wand at Evan’s throat. “Rosier did this to you?” He whispered. 

Uttering those two names was like tossing gasoline onto an already blazing fire.

He snapped his attention back to Remus, shoving him back into the wall, “Evan fucking Rosier?!”

Remus stared like he’d lost his mind. “Barty is the one that hit her. Both of them are working with the Death Eaters.” For a moment, they were silent, the only sound being the clock ticking softly in the back of the room. It happened almost in slow motion (at least from her still-mildly-dazed state) but before anyone could react, Sirius had launched himself at Remus, pinning him against the wall. He grabbed him by the shirt and they both began to grapple with each other.

Surging forward, she ripped at Sirius’s arm, trying to separate them. “Stop, it’s over!” 

Hearing the commotion, James rushed in and pulled his best friend away, not without some thrashing and empty threats. Sirius continued to glare at Remus from where he was being held across the room. The latter stared back, in a state somewhere between rage and confusion and hurt. 

She didn’t move, just watching as Sirius’s began to burn from the inside. A muscle ticked in his jaw as he inhaled a deep breath.

“They still don’t know, do they? Just another one of your little secrets you seem so keen on keeping…” He was going for blood, something she should’ve expected; Sirius always bit back.

“Stop…” the plea came out as a whimper, tears beginning to fill her vision. Remus shifted beside her.

“Why don’t you tell them? Tell them what happened in the forest—“ Sirius cocked his head, taunting her. There was a sheen of cruelty in his eyes, one that had become more frequent as the war raged on. It was the same one she had always seen in Regulus.

“Tell us what?” Remus looked between the two of them, the tension in the air close to catastrophic levels. She shook her head slowly, eyes shooting daggers at Sirius.

He held her gaze as he fired the killing blow, “About how Rosier tried to rape her during 6th year.”

“You’re a fucking bastard,” she hissed, fists clenched as she tried to not wrap both hands around his throat. 

Sirius ignored her, “Rosier, Crouch, and Mulciber lured her into the forest and held her down—” Remus had gone pale. “—and you let her walk into an unsupervised, unarmed, unprotected meeting with two of them. Way to go, Moony.”

She couldn’t stand being in the room anymore, not as Sirius spewed his venom, not as Remus and James looked at her with such pity that she wanted to throw up. Pushing past them, she fled toward the front door and out into the night, breath coming in giant heaving gasps as she spiraled into a panic. 

———

August 1st, 1980

The morning after the mission, she woke up in Remus’ bed, her best friend sprawled beside her with his arm wrapped protectively around her body. After apparating back to the flat the night prior, she’d fallen asleep curled on the floor of his bedroom, having cried so hard it was surprising she hadn’t vomited. Barely lucid, she vaguely remembered him entering the room quietly and carrying her to his bed. She’d been staying in there ever since, barely leaving out of fear of seeing Sirius.

Slipping out of his bed a few days later, she grabbed one of Remus’ sweaters from the floor and threw it over her t-shirt to ward off the morning chill (or was that a side-effect of the numbness she felt in her bones). The flat was quiet as she padded down towards the kitchen, desperate for a coffee. Her bedroom door was open, the bed vacant as she cautioned a glance inside; the covers were rumpled, and she didn’t miss the almost-empty bottle of firewhisky on the bedside table. The living room was empty as well. Sirius wasn’t here. She didn’t care, nor did she want to waste the energy trying to worry about it. 

The nutty-rich smell of coffee filled the small space as she leaned against the kitchen counter, trying to quiet the buzzing in her head. The scent must have reached the back bedrooms, because no sooner than she’d poured a cup, Remus trudged in, rubbing his eyes and yawning widely. He placed a gentle kiss to her head, pulling another mug out of the cabinet and helping himself. They sipped in comfortable silence on opposite sides of the kitchen, a lot left unsaid from the other night, neither wanting to touch it with a 200-meter pole at the moment. 

“He went to Peter’s,” Remus muttered.

“I don’t care, Moons,” she sighed. 

He hummed, “Yes, you do.” She shot him a glare as the mug was brought to her lips. 

“Lily had the baby last night,” changing the subject, he set his cup down on the counter, a tiny bit of hope gleaming in his eyes. 

She almost dropped her mug, “What?! Why didn’t you tell me?”

He shrugged, and she caught the pity in his expression briefly, something that hadn’t been there until recently. She hated it.

“You were sleeping when James sent word, I didn’t want to wake you.”

He’d been doing that a lot the past few days, letting her sleep for hours upon hours, knowing she was doing it to escape. She swallowed and avoided his eyes.

“Prongs is a dad,” he said in whispered disbelief, shaking his head slightly.

“Jesus, that’s terrifying,” she laughed, eliciting a grin from Remus. 

“We’re going over today to see them…all of us,” he said quietly.

“Bold of you to assume I’m joining.”

He gave her a sidelong glance, “We both know you’d never miss the opportunity to meet Lily’s and James’s baby.”

One eye roll later, they finished their liquid breakfast and began to prepare for the day, her ears constantly searching for the sound of a distant motorbike engine.

———

Later that day, her and Remus apparated to the Potter’s in silence, Sirius and Peter traveling separately. The second they arrived on the doorstep, she ran inside without so much as a knock. James was waiting in the entryway.

“Hiya,” he grinned. She’d never seen him glow like this, light practically radiated out of every pore of his body. 

She threw both arms around his neck, “Congratulations Jamie!” He hugged her back, swaying them both. 

“Thank you, he’s…he’s perfect,” he had tears in his eyes as she pulled away. 

“Where’s Lils?” She was anxious to see her friend, and the newest little addition to their band of marauders. James motioned up the stairs, and she quickly bounded up to the second floor as quietly as possible to not wake the baby. Soft voices could be heard coming from the last room at the end of the hallway, and she followed the sound to find her friend reclining on a large four poster bed, a small bundle cradled in her arms. As she pushed the door open wider, she recognized the familiar scent of smoke and spice, goosebumps cascading up her arms as she tried to ignore it. Sirius sat in an armchair near the top of the bed, eyes shooting to her as she entered. 

Lily looked up, “Hi,” she smiled. Remus and James entered the bedroom quietly, while she moved to sit beside her friend on the bed. 

Lily moved the blanket to show off the baby’s chubby little face and unruly dark hair atop his tiny head.

“Oh my god,” she whispered, “Lily…he’s gorgeous…” Tears welled as her friend beamed, the baby stirring in her arms.

“Want to hold him? He’s very calm, I’m almost worried that he’s not James’—“ Lily shifted to place the baby into her waiting arms, “—I’m joking darling, relax.” James was giving her a non-amused glare from across the room. Lily sat back against the headboard, watching as her friend held her son. 

“Meet Harry James Potter,” Lily smiled at her. Baby Harry nuzzled into the blankets, and she leaned down to kiss his forehead. 

“Hi Harry,” she cooed, running a finger over his soft black hair, “Welcome to this truly bizarre, but incredibly loving family.”

Remus chuckled from the foot of the bed, shifting closer to get a look at their friend’s new baby. Sirius moved to sit beside her (a bold choice if she was honest), peering at the little boy held in her arms. She could feel his body heat like a homing beacon calling to her. 

“I think he looks like you Prongs,” Sirius brushed a gentle hand over Harry’s head, “…how unfortunate.” 

Lily giggled.

“I swear Pads,” James said with barely restrained annoyance, “if you weren’t inches away from my son right now…”

Sirius smirked, focus turned back to the baby. Harry yawned, opening his little eyes to reveal twin versions of Lily’s exact emerald coloring. He reached out a chubby hand and latched onto her finger, simultaneously gripping her heartstrings as well. Everything terrible was forgotten; the war, the fighting, the deaths, the uncertainty. All of it melted away as she stared at this new little life, the perfect combination of her two best friends. Sirius must have felt it too, because he bent down and placed a soft kiss to her shoulder, never saying a word as he ran another hand over Harry’s tiny head. 

———

They apparated back home just before dinner to let their friends relax with their new baby. The mood between the three of them was still tense, but seeing Harry seemed to alleviate some of the animosity. Remus ushered her inside the house with a gentle hand on her lower back, Sirius following closely behind. 

“Chinese for dinner?” Remus asked to no one in particular. Sirius made a grunt of approval.

“Get whatever, I’m going to shower and probably go to bed early,” she was exhausted from the past few days, hell, from the past few weeks if she was being honest. Remus didn’t press as she left them both in the living room to meander down the hall towards the small bathroom. 

She let the water heat to near boiling before stepping under the stream, releasing an audible sigh as the scalding droplets washed away the leftover emotions. As she stood under the shower-head and inhaled the steam, the bathroom door opened.

“What happened to knocking?”

No response.

The door shut, and she continued her aquatic dissociation. The sound of shuffling beyond the shower curtain made her roll her eyes.

“Jesus Christ,” she groaned, “does nobody in this house respect boundaries?!” 

Fully expecting the person standing against the counter to be Remus, she froze when she ripped open the curtain to see Sirius staring back. He didn’t say a word as he stripped off his clothes and stepped into the shower. She glared at him, annoyed at his audacity. His face resembled nothing of the toxic person that had appeared a few nights ago, returning to the Sirius she fell in love with, the one that would do anything for her. He said her name as barely a whisper, the sound of which cracked her bitter shell.

“What are you doing?” She asked, voice still grasping at the remaining rage she harbored.

He moved closer, hand itching to touch her, “Apologizing…”

“Doesn’t sound like it to me,” she stared up at him, the spray of water warming her shoulders. 

He sighed, “Can I touch you?” There was an undertone of pain in his voice as he searched her face for an answer.

“No.”

“Then can I at least stand under the water with you, it’s fucking cold over here.”

“Also no.”

Sirius rolled his eyes and groaned, “Fine, I deserve that.” She hummed in agreement. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I didn’t mean for everything to escalate like that, I just…I was so afraid, I had no idea where you were—“

She cut him off with a hand, “Being afraid is not an excuse for the way you acted, the way you spoke to me. You don’t treat the person you love like that, Sirius.”

His dark hair fell over his eyes as he bowed his head in shame.

“I joined the Order just like you did, we took the same oath. I wanted to go on that mission, no one else could’ve gone with Remus and I wasn’t about to let him face it alone. You of all people should understand that—”

“I know, I’m sorry—“

“I only lied to you because I was sworn to not say a word of it to anyone other than the people directly involved. God, it was eating me alive, Sirius.” She dipped her head back into the stream of water to center herself again. “We both knew the risks when joining the Order, we knew that we’d be under a constant threat of danger and need to make sacrifices—“

“What if i’m not willing to make some sacrifices?” Sirius dared to run a hand along her arm, ending with a gentle grasp of her wrist. The touch sent shockwaves rolling through her body.

“I’m not sure if we have a choice in the end,” she whispered, reaching out to trace her fingertips up his side. It was pathetic how much she needed him. It had only been a few days and she was practically gnawing at the bit to touch him, hold him, just be near him. 

Sirius threw caution to the wind and pulled her into his chest gently, allowing her to melt against his body. She almost moaned at the contact, but kept her voice in check as she savored his warmth. 

“I’ll always choose you,” he murmured into the top of her head. 

She hummed in question. 

He tipped her chin back to look him in the eye, “Out of any choice I’m given, it will always be for you.” He kissed her deeply, the rest of her anger instantly swirling down the drain. 

Afterwards, as they laid in bed, tangled with each other, Sirius traced patterns on her back with his hand. 

“I liked seeing you with Harry earlier,” he mused, eyes bright in the darkness of their bedroom. 

She smiled at the thought of the little baby boy, “He’s quite possibly the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

He was quiet for longer than a few heartbeats, brows furrow slightly in thought. “Have you ever thought about having children?” He asked cautiously. 

The thought of bringing a child into the world at the present moment was absolutely insane to her; how Lily and James were doing it was beyond comprehension. She exhaled slowly, “I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t ever thought about it. What about you?”

Sirius would be an excellent father, growing up with a family like his had shown him precisely what not to do, so she had no doubt he’d love his own children with every atom in his being. The thought made her heart swell.

Sirius’s mouth lifted at the corner, “I’ve toyed with it.”

She matched his smile, “A tiny version of you, with the same big blue eyes running around causing mayhem?”

Sirius’s grin widened, “I’d teach them how to fly as fast as her mum used to on the quidditch pitch.”

The image made her tear up a little. She’d never given serious thought to children and the future until more recently. War did that. The uncertainty of each day, never knowing if your friends and partners would come back home after a mission. Too many of them had been lost, too many of them had plans that were snuffed out. She didn’t want to feel sad anymore, didn’t want to worry if today would be the last day she made coffee for Remus, or the last time she spoke to Lily and James. More than anything, she just wanted the chance at a future, a future with Sirius. 

She brushed his hair back from his beautiful face,”Let’s get through the war first, love. We’ve got time.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist (Message me to be added!):

@otterlockholmes

@sofacover

[queer-alienbean]

Jegulus fic!! much angst inspired by Lookalike by Conan Gray

600 words

“But when you look in his eyes

Do you think of mine?

And when you look at that smile

Do I cross your mind?

I know in your head

You see me instead

‘Cause he looks a lot like I did

Back then

Baby dont lie

He's just a lookalike”

Regulus tried to pretend. But he’d never been that great of an actor. He tried to fool himself, knowing it was helpless.

He couldn’t pretend it didn’t hurt. After he and James had broken up, after a tumultuous relationship of 2 years, he had locked himself in his room for days. His friends had practically had to drag him out of bed to go to meals and classes after a week. 

And through all of this, somehow someway, James had survived. No. he hadn’t even survived, he had thrived.

He won more quidditch games after they broke up, he seemed lighter, brighter. Regulus often caught himself watching James at meals, gazing at his smile and wondering why he hadn’t been able to be the cause of it. James laughed more now. And he never glanced at the slytherin table,

Well, almost never.

A month after Regulus and James broke up, James had hearts in his eyes again. And he and Barty announced their relationship to the group.

Barty.

Regulus’ best friend of 6 years, his confidant and the one he had cried to the most over the breakup.

Regulus hadn’t handled the news well, screaming and crying and throwing things at Barty. Evan had to restrain him, holding him and telling Barty to leave the dorm.

The weeks following, Regulus slipped into a routine. Avoiding all human interaction entirely, he hardly went to meals- choosing to visit the kitchens in his breaks and late at night.

He kept his grades up, not wanting to face his teachers’ worry. He spent almost all of his time in the library: reading, drawing, sleeping, journaling, anything to keep his mind busy.

Because he was afraid of what he thought when he had the time.

What if Barty was better than him? What if Barty and James had been together even while Regulus and him were? What if Regulus just wasn’t enough? Or even worse, too much?

And, Regulus realized after a while, he actually missed James. He was still so in love with him that he had a hard time being angry sometimes. 

If Barty was what made James happy, then why couldn’t he be happy for him?

Maybe Regulus needed to move on, find someone new. He tried to go to parties, but everyone he attended, James and Barty were there. And those two always found a way to be the center of attention. 

Evan comforted him, knowing that though he and Barty had broken up a year before, he could somewhat sympathize with Regulus’ feeling of betrayal.

And when Regulus went home for the holidays, he accepted his parents rough teachings, he kept silent and let them think he would join them.

And when he ran away finally, no one had expected it. And no one knew where he went.

Regulus had escaped, he was free to live as he pleased, to think and breathe by himself without the eyes of others, the expectations.

When Regulus was older, laying in his bed alone late at night, he would think back to James and his relationship, wishing it had never ended but also so grateful it had.

“And I'll admit that I

Sometimes, maybe, might

Think about you at night

No matter how I try to hide

And erase you from my mind

I’m dying

To find a lookalike”

[expectopatronum18]

Uk, on look back, i think class and social standing have such a profound effect on muggle born and half blood students without impressive sir names who enter the wizarding world for the first time. With Hermione, the reason she never felt any lesser than the purebloods is probably because she's not disadvantaged compared to them in any major way. In the books her parents r both dentists, so she's financially well off, also she takes at least one international trip to France during the holidays(I was pretty young when I read these books and my country is much poorer than Britain, so i'd just assumed tht was what regular British PPL do lol). Wizards like the Weasleys show her how it's possible to live a happy (if poor) life without having those political connections and influence. There's already been a huge war against the guy and his followers discriminating against ppl like her. Also there weren't really ppl to make her feel inferior; Draco and pansy r such annoying idiots, literally no one took them seriously apart from their little clique. (HOWEVER, idk y Rowling never went deep into how a killer snake roaming around the castle trying to kill ppl lyk her would affect a fucking 12 yr old, probably coz she doesn't exactly know what being discriminated against feels lyk; which ofc I m glad for, no one should, but tht doesn't excuse shallow writing)

Things couldn't have been more different with lily tho. We don't exactly know what her financial situation was lyk, but it's also pretty clear that she doesn't exactly come from money. Sure, slughorn took notice of her, but he's surprised tht she could be smart despite being muggleborn even 15 yrs after her death (none of the teachers in Harry's time discriminate this way). Also she went to school with PPL who became actual death eaters: Avery, muliciber, rosier, wilkies, regulus, barty Crouch jr, Lucius (early on) and ofc, Snape, her childhood friend. Not to mention the war was going on when she was in school (progressed as the yrs passed), ppl were scared and u couldn't trust anyone(so sympathizing with the purebloods probably wasn't that much of an unpopular opinion as it was during Harry's time), and it seemed like the death eaters were winning. Her chances of financial security and employment were almost non existent, given that half of the wizarding world was out there trying to murder PPL like her. Seriously, things couldn't hv been worse tbh

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

what do you think sirius’s relationship with his father was like

(i wrote a whole fucking biography, but there's a tldr at the bottom w some notes! also. i am so sorry. this ended up being orion's relationship with his eldest son instead. its pov orion forgive me please.)

sirius and orion ..... there's not much in canon about them, i think, right? he mentions him a whopping one time, when he said his father was the one who made Number Twelve unplottable and that's it, so i think orion was just. so very absent. and neglectful. especially considering how much walburga is mentioned and how big of a part she played in sirius' life.

that's all for canon, i think. now for the fun hc time !!

i imagine orion to be fairly quiet, more like regulus. i imagine he dealt with walburga's anger and mood swings (i hc her (and sirius) with bipolar ii disorder which was obv untreated her whole life bc a) fifties b) ew muggles im perfectly fine) ever since they met (with orion being younger and more complacent, too) so it wasn't a marriage where they were both equals, and orion resented walburga for it.

enter sirius black.

when sirius was born, walburga was completely focused on him. she had her son, her everything, her precious little child and orion was free. i think he loved sirius for it - for how walburga didn't notice when orion left the room or entered it, for how much walburga loved her son.

the first few years was good, sirius was charming, regulus was obedient, walburga was happy and orion was distant from the woman who'd ruined his life. plus, he liked his kids!

sure, sirius was too headstrong and aggressive and had mood swings and sure that reminded him a little bit of walburga and so he usually treasured his precious regulus, and yeah, sirius had cried more than once that dad doesnt love me! but it was all just fine, because he loved his son! he did, really! at least one of them, anyway.

by the time sirius was ten, orion was hoping his hogwarts letter would come early.

it was sirius' first big rebellion, and walburga had (after punishing sirius as she saw fit - orion didn't bother asking, the boy was more comfortable with his mother anyway) locked herself in her room for more than a week, but that was fine, he was used to it. no, the problem was that sirius also stayed in his room for a week, and orion was connecting dots.

from then to dropping sirius off at the train, orion withdrew himself. he noticed. he observed. he busied himself. sirius talked to him, and he didn't ignore him completely, he was still a good father (right?) so he played chess and taught potions and told him who to and not to talk to like he was supposed to.

(he hated the noise the mother and son caused. he hated them, too.)

he pretended to sympathize when walburga said she missed him already when they saw the bus go off.

when sirius came back for christmas, he steered clear for the first two days. walburga handled the punishments: sorting, his friendships, his misdemeanors. orion nodded along.

i am a good father. it's his fault for not being a good son.

regulus was so good, and for all the time the boys spent together, regulus never rubbed off on him.

oh god. what if sirius infects him, too? the only normal one there - what if sirius takes regulus in his madness?

so he separates regulus, too.

by then, he doesn't know what's going on with sirius. regulus told him, time to time, but orion's dislike of his son was becoming clear, so regulus steered clear of the sirius' name. sirius learnt to be away from his father's study. walburga yelled at him more for his negligence but he took it and continued his one sided resentment to his son. (was it one sided anymore? orion didn't know.)

summer vacation is spent in his study and in his bedroom. the two places sirius never was. he didn't know where sirius was, but he heard the occasional screaming and then he had the pleasure of not seeing sirius for a few days.

when, the next year, regulus has to go with sirius, he resents walburga for not saying she missed him already. but she had missed sirius. cursed mother, cursed child.

in third year, walburga signs sirius' hogsmeade permission slip. whatever. he didn't even know it had been signed till the following year, when regulus came to him and they had a few moments of small talk.

regulus mentioned sirius idolized andromeda. he couldn't imagine why, and he couldn't imagine why regulus told him.

by the summer before fourth year, sirius and orion didn't talk. orion scolded him for one thing or another ('posture!' , 'you're late' , 'you're friends with a pettrigrew?' , 'your hair is unkept'), he gave scoffed when sirius made a pronunciation error with his words (regulus wouldn't've. stupid boy, sirius didn't deserve the title of heir.), he punished sirius and then he went back to his study (*sanctuary).

walburga tells him sirius has been sneaking out to muggle london, he has indecent pictures spelled to his walls, he's changed, orion, he's different now. orion doesn't tell her that sirius had always been different, and never in a good way. (he doesn't tell her that she is the same.)

sirius didn't come back for christmas that year. he doesn't notice till walburga screamed at him. he was more focused on how walburga clung to his regulus closer that year.

by the summer before sirius' fifth year, sirius' fights were no longer contained for his mother. he yelled at anyone who would give him time of day.

bellatrix, portraits, kreacher, walurga of course, regulus even.

not his father.

if he saw his father, he would simply walk away.

sirius never walked away from anyone, but orion was grateful nonetheless. he'd hexed sirius a few times, naturally, but he didn't want it to become something regular.

(he was grateful for the days sirius spent holed up into his room.)

by the end of summer, sirius and him had barely exchanged a word that wasn't orion chastising him and sirius replying with a curt yes father.

(it felt like an insult. father. no, orion wasn't a father to that vile thing. sirius was his mother's son. orion had nothing to do with him. and he knew sirius didn't feel differently - he heard sirius refer to him by name when he conversed with regulus.)

when that year ended, and summer began, sirius didn't grant his father the gift of silence. he yelled at him too. every word orion spoke, sirius gave three in return, every hex orion performed sirius laughed at ('is that it? i've been done worse by kids my year.'). he hates him, now. he doesn't hate walburga as much, walburga stayed in her room more, she came out to scream for a few hours and went back.

he blocks that whole summer out. he hates yelling. he hates being yelled at. sirius was walburga, but worse. infinitely worse. he's so relieved when he wakes up to find sirius gone that he can barely hear walburga's shrieks, or bother trying to undo the careful expression regulus wears.

sirius visits him through walburga regardless. (how funny, at first it had been the other way around). sirius had never been one for letting go of things. he haunts orion's dreams and when he hears certain phrases he thinks of his fallen star.

tldr : orion is reminded of walburga (abuser?) when he looks at sirius and distances himself till he finds himself no longer seeing himself as a father for sirius

stuff i didn't mention : walburga uses regulus as sirius' replacement when he runs away and orion hates her for it even though he does the same , he does 100% despise sirius' muggle/gryfindor/blood traitors esque etc stand points, i just feel like that's a given though soo i didnt include it (sorry!!). he just lets walburga handle it, for the most part.

tysm for the ask @albi-bumblebee <3